Transcript

Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 54 min · 10,913 words · 249 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published January 9, 2026 (54 min, about 10,913 words). It mentions 12 people, works and ideas, including Panama City, Alice Beach, Armchair Anonymous, FBI, Buck Rogers.

What this episode is about

The discussion revolves around wild parties that spiral out of control, tapping into the chaos seen in films like "Project X" and "The Hangover." Participants share their own memorable stories of graduation weekend mishaps in a small Montana town, highlighting the unpredictable nature of celebratory events and the cultural dynamics of their rural community.

Key takeaways

  • Nothing says 'party gone wrong' like a bonfire that triggers a forest-wide evacuation.
  • Who needs a GPS when you have a Motorola Razor and the spirit of adventure?
  • 18-year-olds: masters at awkward post-hookup rituals, but not so much at fire safety.
  • In Montana, the line between 'recreation' and 'arson' can be astonishingly thin.
  • When the SUV explodes, you know it’s more than just a party — it’s an unforgettable disaster!

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Armchair Anonymous, Buck Rogers, Motorola Razor
  2. – 15:00: Fourth of July
  3. – 30:00: Alice Beach, Panama City
  4. – 35:00: Panama City, Outlander
  5. – 40:00: Panama City, Ellis Beach
  6. – 45:00: Golden Globes, Jessa Savannah, Panama City
  7. – 53:37: Armchair Anonymous, Huancho

Notable quotes from "Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"

  • Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Buck Rogers.
    about Armchair Anonymous · at
  • Pretty sure I had a Motorola Razor or something at this point. No cell service. So, it was just like there's a party out in the woods behind so and so's house. And then you'd be like,.
    about Motorola Razor · at
  • In Montana, you can just freely buy fireworks. And it was 2 weeks before Fourth of July. A group of kids had bought a bunch of fireworks and made like a homemade sparkler bomb.…
    about Fourth of July · at
  • Originally, we are going to road trip from Nashville, where a majority of the girls lived, down to Alice Beach, Florida. And if you're unfamiliar with Alice Beach, it's like quiet, quaint, charming little beach town.
    about Alice Beach · at
  • From the house. We realized we are not in Alice Beach. We are in the heart of Panama City.
    about Panama City · at
  • Different theme. All of her favorite things. So, for example, her favorite show is Outlander. So, one of the girls bought a kilt and had her fiance dress up in the kilt and take a bunch of pictures.
    about Outlander · at
  • Mormon, none of this would have happened. We would have been safely in Ellis Beach having a great old time.
    about Ellis Beach · at
  • Thank you so much for having me. And I just wanted to say a huge congratulations on the Golden Globes nomination. That is incredible and so welld deserved.
    about Golden Globes · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Buck Rogers — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Buck Rogers.
  • Jessa Savannah — Person · 1 mention · first at
    She's a huge armchair Savannah. She definitely wanted me to say hi to you guys.
  • Huancho — Person · 1 mention · first at
    She texted me today and she said one of Huancho's best friends is going to be on Armchair Anonymous.

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • FBI — Company · 2 mentions

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

Places & events

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Buck Rogers.

Hi, it's me. I think when I say Buck Rogers, you should go like you should have a

go specific. Okay, well, I need to think of about it. Okay, work on it. Workshop it.

I will. Today's anonymous is party gone wrong. Think Triple X. No, what was that movie? XX. Think Hangover. Think

Oh, yeah. What's XX? Project X. Oh, I don't know it. Maybe it was a Todd Phillips produced movie about a backyard party that goes insane.

Oh boy. Okay, these deliver. They're They're really good. We We'll definitely have to do a party gone wrong part two. Yeah.

Yeah. Please enjoy parties that have gone wrong. Hard times come and go. Good times, take them slow. My life, I had them both. But one thing you got to know, I'mma keep on shining.

Is this Sandy? Hi. Yes, it's Sandy. We were just talking about the unisexuality. How do you say that? Unexiness. Unex nature of Sandy. Could go either way.

There's a little bit of a with this story. So, be revealed. Where are you? I'm in the Pacific Northwest, but my story is in Montana where I grew up.

Okay. In a rural area or in one of the cities? In a small town. A mountain town.

Small mountain town. Beautiful. What a wonderful setting for a party going wrong.

Yeah. This happened about 15 20 years ago, my senior year of high school, graduation weekend. So, it was a small Montana town where I grew up and it's really beautiful there. So, it tends to attract pretty big local kind of blue collar population. And then it attracts a lot of kind of early retirees who are going there to build their like lodge home, finish raising their kids, recreate, that kind of stuff.

And then do you have like river raft people and snowboarders and all those too?

The granola people who are kind of in and out of college doing the guide life. I like using recreate as a verb.

Yeah. Well, Sandy has a very good vocabulary. I know. I'm going to use that. It feels adjacent to conversate.

Yeah. I like it. Okay. Okay. So, 15 years ago, adorable little town, mostly blue collar. We got some snow Oh, no. They're the opposite of snowbirds. Snow seekers.

The recreators. The recreators. Yeah. Yeah. High school. It was pretty small, just over 400 people in total. So, my graduating class was like maybe 100. So, there was definitely some tense socioeconomic undertones at the high school. My car was like a 77 Volvo, just old kind of beater. And then there were kids with like brand new SUVs. And there was just a little bit of that going on in the social dynamics. So it was grad weekend and that we were kind of partying all weekend. And this particular party was a backwoods sort of bonfire. So everyone drove a little ways out of town down like a single lane little dirt road a couple miles and then there's a huge fire just out in the middle of nowhere. So my best friend and I headed to the party and we parked in kind of a clearing a little ways up the road from where the bonfire was happening and that's where most people were parked. We were about a 5-minute

walk away. get to the fire. There are a few cars there. I'm imagining this predates drop a pin. Like, how the [ __ ] are you finding this twotrack?

Pretty sure I had a Motorola Razor or something at this point. No cell service. So, it was just like there's a party out in the woods behind so and so's house. And then you'd be like, "Okay, well, we're at so and so's house." And someone would know and then you'd follow them and you kind of just get there eventually.

I just want to point out that that's a fun part of the adventure of being a hillbilly. Where I grew up, too, there were field parties and same thing. It's like, wait, the twotrack road on the end of middle road or the one behind?

Just when you feel like you're not getting there, you're in the wrong place. You pull around a random corner and there's 50 people, you know, being dumb and running around.

You start the party with a big reward of accomplishment. It's a good foot to start up.

Yeah. You're like, "We're here. We did it. We found it." We walk down this road. There are a few cars parked to the side. Kind of like get to the fire and just join the crowd. Night kind of goes on a couple hours in. It's like party climax. Everyone's a little bit drunk. People are going off into the woods to hook up, going into cars to hook up, just going out to pee, coming and going, and it's just sort of mayhem.

And I was walking back to the fire like along the road with my own hookup, who I'm going to call Danny for this little grease reference.

And did you guys choose the woods or a car? A car. Start in the woods, move to a car.

Oh, wow. Exciting. Multiple locations. We' hooked up a little a couple times leading up to this and had sealed the deal, I guess, and we're coming back down the road. We were immature. We were like 18. So, it was just that awkward post hookup feeling where you're like, "Get away from me.

I don't know how to deal with this." You want to see your girlfriends and tell them what just happened and you don't want to talk to him.

The next time we get horny in a few weeks, then we'll talk. Yes. Exactly. It was that vibe. Not my boyfriend. As we're walking by, we can see the fire and all of a sudden there's a huge explosion. All the woods are lit up. It's like broad daylight. You can see everyone all of a sudden and everyone just like freezes and then it's dark again. And one of the other grads had been gifted a brand new SUV for her graduation and it was full of flames. There was just like flames inside of it between me and the fire. pretty quickly.

The car was engulfed through flames and the trees around it were starting to catch on fire and people are just running around. Chaos. A few people who could reach their cars got in their cars, but then before anyone could really leave, we could hear sirens. I'm assuming someone at the party or maybe a neighbor or someone heard this and called. I can't make it back to my car, a 5-minute walk away and out this road that's a single lane dirt road for a few miles and we're all drunk. So Danny and I, we grab hands, just run away from the road, away from the fire, down this hill until we reach like a marshy area and we can't keep running. We just hunker down under a pine tree, kind of like in the bushes. We can still sort of see and hear what's going on on the road, but we're like out of view.

That was I'm assuming to make sure that you don't see any cops when they arrive.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course, we all hear sirens and none of us were like, "Hey, let's do something about this fire." We're just running away, trying not to get in trouble cuz now we're 18 and that felt scary. and all of a sudden we're legal adults. So, we're just trying to hide and everyone else just sort of dispersed. Like people who had gotten in their cars just drove further off into the woods to avoid the whole situation. The firefighters arrive fairly quickly. They start doing their stuff. And late June, Montana, it's still like in the 40s at night. And I was in my early 2000s, couple layered tank tops, some skinny jeans, ready to just be hanging out by a fire and then go home. So after a while, Danny and I are sitting there.

We're both like full body convulsing. We're so cold. So we end up we're facing each other and I'm like straddling him so that we can get really close together and just hold on for dear life. Like his chin and head are like on my shoulder and vice versa. And we're just like that for hours. The firefighters were there until after dawn.

Oh my god. Through the whole night. Yeah. They were there putting the car fire out and then also dealing with like a minor forest fire

in a highly flammable combustible area. Yeah. One tree connecting to the next. Can I ask a quick question? Was there no talk of trying to make your way through the woods without going onto the road but getting yourself back to your car or would that have just been impenetrable?

We would have had to cross the road and for some reason that seemed I don't remember what the logic was but it was like we have to stay here. And did you guys start kissing again at any point?

That's my question. Especially cuz you're nuzzling. I mean, it felt like we were survivors together. The eroticism was pretty low

for you. A roaring forest fire behind you. It was very romantic. I know. I bet for him he was hard.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe at one point cuz his head was right here and we were trying to be quiet, he whispered and he was like, "I'm so sorry. I just can't hold it anymore." fart and he let out like the biggest stinkiest peer fart.

OH WOW. OKAY, SO NO WONDER you guys didn't start kissing. Dried up any future like what was going to maybe be like a summer fling. This took a big turn.

Oh yeah, what a plot point. We're just soaking in this fart stink. Finally after dawn the firefighters left. We pulled an all nighter in there. Everyone just slowly starts emerging from the woods back to where the fire was so we can like walk back up to our cars and all of the trees around the fire were just burnt. Everything was smoking. The car I don't know if the firefighters have taken parts of it with them, but it was literally just two axles and a ball of melted glass laying on the ground. There was nothing else left

and just like it looked like a crater. It's amazing somebody didn't die or get hurt. lucky no one was in the car or close enough to it. So we walked back to where my car is parked and his car is in that area. He was like, "Oh, thanks for that." Oh, no. Walked away. Was very awkward.

Have you heard him fart like six more times? Like he had been trying to hold in the rest.

Yeah. Know it was just the one big one and then like silence. And this is 20 years ago and I can tell you still know the smell. You remember it so vividly. Oh my god. Yeah, the feeling in my body of just I'm leaving this place now. Well, so then I got back to my car and my best friend had thought of sneaking through the woods and getting back to the cars and I just hadn't showed up to drive us back home. So, she was curled up by my back seat and one of her feet was just a bare bloody stump cuz she had been wearing flip-flops, one had flown off when she was running through the woods and her foot just got mangled cuz in her panic she like just kept running.

Wow. We drove back home, woke my parents up when we got in because it was basically time to wake up anyway. And they just looked at us and were like, "You're not in a lot of trouble cuz at least you didn't drive in the middle of the night and you're 18, so we want you to tell us about this kind of stuff." But like, go to bed.

Now, did we ever find out how the [ __ ] the SUV caught on fire and exploded? It was just that close to the bonfire. Or did one of these jealous low-income kids?

Oh my god, a Dax tight. In Montana, you can just freely buy fireworks. And it was 2 weeks before Fourth of July. A group of kids had bought a bunch of fireworks and made like a homemade sparkler bomb. And apparently they thought it would just sort of like go off, make like a hole in one of the seats, but they'd gone way overboard and built this like huge bomb and slipped it in through the cracked window.

So they just like slipped in the car, kept on walking by, and then 10 seconds later it exploded.

What [ __ ] Have you ever seen one of those go off? Uhoh. They're crazy. They're scary big. These sparkler bombs.

Did they go to jail? Those specific people were never outed. And what about the poor girl? Was she so sad?

She was upset. Did you do the sparkler bomb, Sandy? Was it you? It wasn't me. But you know who it was. I know you know who it was.

Yeah, we know. She knows. Yeah. And that's okay. You keep that to your grave or till statute of limitations. Whatever.

I mean, it's been this long. And the car was eventually replaced by insurance. So, there was that luckily, but very dramatic start to adulthood.

Wow. If I were the girl, boy, my feelings would be quite hurt. I would take it so personally.

Yeah. You're unable to recognize that there's some financial jealousy happening.

Yeah. Or you think like, oh, they hate me. They blew up my new car. Yeah. I mean, just the same way that the undertones in the school, this isn't our lack of or amount of, you know, this is our parents.

Yeah. Everyone's born in that vibe was very alive in my town, too. The halves and the have nots.

Yeah. The greasers and the social. Lots of good people all around just young and dumb and not really having a bigger picture of the world. I think

I would argue a little bit more old west justice is happening still in the rural areas.

Kids look, their brains literally are not developed. They don't even have frontal loes and yet they're drinking and doing crazy stuff. If I were that guy, I would have said, "Sandy, I'm so sorry. I know you're freezing, and I am, too. But I do need to go walk over there for 5 seconds."

And you break the huddle, and it's going to be miserable while I'm gone. But you're going to be so happy you don't smell what's coming out. And then when I return, relative to how cold you were, we're going to feel warm again. So, could you just grant me this five?

It would have been graceful. For some reason, it felt like we had to like cling for dear life.

Would you have said, "No, no, I don't care about the fart. I'll be too cold. Just fart." cuz you might have said that.

Honestly, I wasn't I'm wildly offended by the fire. I was like, I get it. We're here. But also the hotness gone.

You can't come back from that. Oh, well, Sandy, thank you for telling us that. Thank you so much.

All right. Bye-bye. Hello. Can you hear us, Stephen? I can hear you. Can you hear me? All right,

I can hear you. Great. And it's very rare that I get to speak with a Steven PHN. And I'm going to make you answer for this. So, tell me how we get a V out of PH. What is the origin of this?

I'm commonly called Stephen. I'm commonly spelled with an A. I think since Stephen Curry's become more popular, that's almost the default now.

Yeah. How he spells it? Yeah. How does he spell it? I thought it was with an F.

Oh, no. It's definitely PH, but is it A? Is it Stefan or Stefan? So, I can give you the quick. It's my grandpa was Stephano. My uncle is Stefan. I'm Stephen.

Oh. Oh, so it did start that way. Yeah. Steph is Ian. Steph Curry is Yeah. Oh, okay.

And is it an app or It's a PH. It's a It's definitely a PH. Okay. So, Stephan, Stephen, where are you calling from?

Right outside uh New York City. So, just across the river, New Jersey. Oh, okay. Wonderful. And do you have a view of New York City? Like, can you see it from your area?

Yeah, just not from my exact apartment. Part of me thinks, and I would have not been privy to this had I not stayed in Brooklyn on one trip, recognizing it's almost more fun to be looking at it than it is to be in it for your living quarters.

Totally. When you're in Brooklyn next, maybe you try Red Hook Taverns Burger instead of Emily Burger.

Oh, really? Both really good, but that deserves some love next time. Red Hook. Rob, will you write that down?

Yeah. Yeah, I've been there. You've been? Yeah, it's really good. Oh, and where do you rank it with uh Emily? Different but equal.

Yeah, different but equal. Wow. Is it more conventional like just burger bun sitch?

Burger bun cheese raw onion on the bottom. That's it. And it should say on the menu it say burger bun cheese. [ __ ] you. Really go for it.

No caramelized onions. Caramelized. Dang. Okay. So, you were at a party gone wrong. And again, I'm going to stereotype, but I have to imagine a lot of Jersey parties go wrong. Did the party take place in Jersey?

I think it's just your average drinking. But yeah, ton of parties. So it was 2010, so it was my freshman year of college and it was like a first break back from college. So kind of everyone's still in like that high school party mode. It's unsuccessful if there's not a drinking party every single night of the week.

Sure. You've just been training for 3 months, right? Like you've been drinking completely unsupervised for 3 months. So you're almost ready to come back for a big fight.

So this one girl from high school is having a party. It's at her mom's house when she's away for work. It's like three towns away. So, a lot of small towns in New Jersey, but it's only about 3 miles or so. We were excited cuz her mom lived in like this really cool modern house. It had an elevator in it. It's like a bunch of cool art in different areas. It wasn't like cookie cutter Jersey suburbia. So, we get to the party and, you know, it's kind of taking place over all different parts of the house. You know, people playing drinking games in the kitchen. There's parties upstairs. People are taking the elevator up and down to different areas.

We're all drinking, playing a bunch of different games. And then me and my one friend venture off and we kind of find this door that leads to the roof and it's like a roof that's like meant to be on at certain points. Like there's like an aderondac chair that looks out over the backyard but really only space for like three people. So it's just the two of us up there. We're like, "Oh, it' be cool if like people come up and we could play drinking games up here." Wasn't enough space obviously. No one's coming up. And then on our way down we see that there's this skylight and we're like, "Okay, the skylight looks over the kitchen and there's people playing beer pong up there. What if we stand on the skylight and people look up and notice like, whoa, there's this whole area upstairs that someone found.

Hold on one second before we get to you getting on the sky. This is like hard. Neither of you were like, "Huh, I wonder if this thing will break if we get on." No, obviously not.

Our head went there pretty quickly after. Yeah. You know, you think it was like actual glass that you could stand on.

Well, BY THE WAY, IT'S NOT THERE. THERE'S NO such thing. bulletproof glass maybe or like separating glass in a prison.

Not like fragile glass. Well, that's true. I'm sure it has a high temperance point of glass.

So, as you would expect, it's challenging to get on cuz it's also pretty bulbous.

Oh, no. Oh, it's like a dome one. Yeah, it's domed on top. Yeah. Well, that makes a little more sense, Stephen, cuz I can imagine where you guys thought you were going to kind of lean over it and knock on it and have them be excited.

Oh, you you now see why it would be fun. Well, I guess I imagine like I'm picturing the most modern house in the world with a dead flat roof and a dead flat skylight and they think they're going to stand on that. Whereas this feels more like yeah, we'll both lean on it.

We both take our steps on it. It takes like a second to get on and then it's small so we're kind of holding each other's shoulders and once we get on it's pretty quickly understood like it's going to give way.

Oh no. Before we can do anything, my one friend jumps off feeling it. And then as soon as he gets off, the weight redistributes and my leg just goes shooting through THE SKY.

I'M LIKE 12 ft above the party. My leg is dangling through. Can you imagine being at that party and then a leg pops out.

So I get my body out of the picture so no one could see that it's me. My friend's like, "Pull your leg out and jump off the roof. We'll run. We'll find a way to get out of here." But you can start hearing the chatter of the party like, "Who is that? Grab his shoe. make sure he doesn't get out of here.

Cuz I think I did some damage to this house that they want this person to be accountable for.

And you did, you know. Yeah. Reality sets in, embarrassment sets in, and then realize I had to pull my leg out of this. So, I don't know if it was cut when it went through or cut when it came out, but it's like a small hole that I made with like shards of glass. I just yank my leg out of it. That was the adrenaline probably. I don't remember feeling the pain at that point. But I stand up and I know I have to go down and face the host of the party

cuz you're a good boy. You're going to take responsibility. Yeah, there's the only option at that point.

I imagine you jumping off the roof and then just following the trail of blood. I know. Also, jumping off the roof after that injury.

I mean, none of this was smart, right? But walk downstairs and just to give you an idea of what this cut looks like, it's probably about like a 8 in gash right in the center of my shin. It kind of like split pretty considerably. Like I don't know if it was like thin skin or pressure.

And Stephen, I've had that injury. It's so close to your shin bone. You're seeing bone immediately, right?

Yeah. And the outsides are pretty cut. Not that it's integral of the story, but when it's healing, it took like 3 months to heal. It's graphic. It was a cut on my leg and starts to expand. I mean, it looked like there was a vagina on my leg.

Yes. An elephant vagina. The different stages of healing reveal different stages of Yeah, it was pretty gnarly. So, go downstairs. I realize I probably need stitches, but the host of the party greets me and instead of kicking me out, she's super sweet. She like brings me into a room away from the party. People are annoyed that this happened. There's a hole in the roof. Bandages me up, says like, "Not a problem. I'll take care of it. I'll find a way."

Is she your wife now? Cuz this better be a meat cube. Exactly. You know, I knew you were going to go there. We're so predictable.

I'll save that for the end. Okay. Okay. Don't get too excited about it. She bandages me up. Super nice. I decide to leave the party. It's like a three mile walk home. So now I have to walk home on this leg. I know I need stitches. I know I can't dry myself there cuz we've been drinking. So walk three miles, get home, probably somewhere between 11 and 1, I would say. It was a while ago, but it was later at night. Knock on my parents door cuz I know that I need to get taken to the emergency room or to get it stitched up.

No answer. Opened my parents' door and then immediately met with what no child wants to be.

Oh wow, there's sex. Oh my god. To add insult to injury. What a night you're having.

Cheats rustling. I mean, I closed the door, embarrassed, in pain, bleeding. I mean, at this point, there's blood in like my sock and my shoe. It's pretty significant.

Oh, [ __ ] You're like, I just want to die now. That's the feeling for sure. So, she comes out, gives it one look. We both don't want to look at each other. Looks at my legs. She's like, it's fine. You're fine. Go to bed.

Oh, you're fine. She wanted to get back. Okay. Yeah. Round two. So, woke up the next morning, didn't end up getting it stitched, and not too bad now. I got like a 4 inch scar on my leg, but it took time. Monica, I knew you would go to Oh my god, maybe a meat cute cuz she's bandaging you up 10 years ago. I went on a date with her probably 10 years later. And I was like, great. This is going to be like a perfect segue, bring up something funny that happened 10 years ago. We're both way more mature now. And she paused and she was like, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure my brother still [ __ ] hates you for that." And that was it.

Oh, okay. Well, she went on the date with you knowing it was you, but I thought it would be a fun little story. I guess it holds some weight in her brother's eyes for not paying for the damage, but she's super nice.

Didn't work out. I'm going to try to skin this cat in yet another original way that's going to backfire, but I'm going to give it a shot.

Skin the shin. Skin this shin. I'm going to shin this cat. So, all I'm saying right now is if I were a single girl, I would try to date you in one second. I think you are so [ __ ] cute and funny.

That's hard to take in, honestly. Are you married? No, I have a girlfriend. Monica, I did write into Monica and Jess Love's Boys.

You did? Season two? Oh, I'm very flattered. Show never happened. Huge fans. Listen to all the pods. Listen to your egg freezing pod. Why I need to listen to that? I don't know. Listen to it.

Oh my god. It probably makes you better for your girlfriend. She'll be like, "Oh, you're so sensitive."

I'm feeling very upset right now. But yeah my happy for her. Very nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too. I'll give one quick shout out to my cherry chat cuz I have two friends who we listen to the show all the time and we have a group chat that's a cherry and every Sunday we guess who the guest is going to be. Sometimes people get it right. I'll give a quick shout out to them.

Cherry Ch. So cute. Well, this was fun. Stephen, you're a dream. I'm so smitten with you. It's nuts.

Anytime you want me back, I'll come on. It's okay. I hope we talk again soon. Take care brother.

Bye. Jessa. Jessa. Jessa. Jessa from Girls. That's the only other time I've heard that name.

I've never even heard Jessa. Hi. I was just saying to Monica, I'm completely unaware of the name Jessa, but she's familiar because of girls.

I know. I was so upset when that came out. I was like, I'm not the only Jessa in the world. This is insane. But it worked out.

If I were you, I would have got melaniacal and thought somebody knows me in the writer room and they stole my name.

That's the way I should have thought it. You need a little more arrogance. Are you anywhere near New York City where this could have possibly happened? I'm not. I'm originally from the Bay Area, but I live in Nashville now.

And how are you liking the move? I love Nashville. I've been there for 4 years. It was a big adjustment at first, but I'm loving it now.

What were the hurdles at the beginning? So, I'm from Northern California where it's like farm town, wine country. It's not that busy. So, when I moved to Nashville, I moved to the actual city and it was so busy. So, I was shell shocked a little bit and then I moved over to Franklin and I've really enjoyed Franklin because it's nice and quiet and I can drive into the city

small town. Okay, so you have a party gone wrong story. I realize now that we have photos, so I'm going to put them between Monica and I so that we'll be prepared when the opportunity presents itself.

This is a bachelorette trip gone wrong. Originally, we are going to road trip from Nashville, where a majority of the girls lived, down to Alice Beach, Florida. And if you're unfamiliar with Alice Beach, it's like quiet, quaint, charming little beach town.

Is it on A130? That's the zone everyone loves. Yep. I got to flag one ironic hysterical thing is that Nashville, of course, is the bachelorette capital of the world and you guys are leaving there, you know.

Well, you have to you can't do it in your I mean, you can you can do Broadway any night. And we did have a Broadway night before the wedding, but we had to go live our classy little life in Florida of all things.

Yes. Yes, this was all told to me when I spent the summer there. I had never heard of it, but this whole A130, do you know about this? But it's a little zone on the Gulf in Florida that's super bougie and expensive.

I can't believe I've never It's like the Hamptons of the South. Everybody from Nashville vacations there. I had never heard of it either until I moved there and I'm like, I need to go here. Everyone loves it.

I feel poor because I grew up in the South and I've never heard of it. But I think it really took off in the last decade. Mostly new builds and stuff. No.

From what I am aware of. Yes. We didn't end up there. Exactly. Uhoh. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

I still have not gone. Okay. Great spoiler. So, the plan was is that we were going to road trip from Nashville down to Alice Beach. So, when it came time for the planning period, the maid of honor is sending a bunch of Airbnb listings to all of the girls so we can choose the house to rent. She comes across one and it looks perfect. It is huge. It's beautiful and it is significantly cheaper than every other house. So, that should have been a red flag, but for us, we were like, "Book it. This is perfect."

Yeah. Deal of the century. A bachelor miracle. It really was. It felt like all the stars aligned. So, we go and we go to book the Airbnb and there's one tiny little caveat. They don't allow large groups and they don't allow parties. So, we're like, "We're screwed. we can't book it. Except one of the girls happens to see the Airbnb host their profile and sees that they're from Utah and she gets this genius idea to tell a tiny little white lie, say that we are all from Utah and that we are a bunch of BYU students and one of the girls is getting married and that we are going just have a tiny, you know, quiet little beach trip. No party, no harm, no foul. I swear.

Yeah. And it works. They really value honesty. I know. That's why it's just so they were susceptible. Yeah.

Honestly, I don't tell lies. So, I felt so terrible. And no one was worried you guys were going to get like struck down by what's his name?

Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith. We should have thought about that honestly. But now I won't do it again.

Okay. We book it. We are so happy. Everything's good to go. We are on the road a couple weeks later. Everything's going great until about 15 minutes out from the house. We realized we are not in Alice Beach. We are in the heart of Panama City.

Oh [ __ ] I've been there. Okay. And so that is a place I've been. Whatever I said about A130, just do the opposite of that.

Listen, some of my best times I went to those spring breaks were hot. So now we are driving down the road and on one side of the street it is dollar jello shots. the other side of the street. It is wet t-shirt contest and we are going this is not the vibe. Like this is not what we planned for nor what we packed for like we are packed for brunch and mimosas. We are not packed for jello shots and what t-shirt contest. But nonetheless we continue on. We go there's still like another 5 minutes in this drive. Somehow it has to turn into Alice speech. So we turn into the neighborhood and it is immediately lock your doors. This is sketchy. Oh no, the neighborhood is rough. And I'm sitt there going, we have to have the wrong address until we hear, "Your destination's on the right." So we look to our right and there it is. The beautiful house that we booked. It looks exactly the same except it is in the

wrong city. So we go, "Okay, this is on us. This is our fault. We're going to make the best out of it.

Okay, this is where I'm different. This is where I'm pulling up Airbnb immediately. Nope. We're going to Alice Beach right now.

We just talked about this, you and I. It's like your n It's people's nature. It is either like, "Look, it is what it is." Or it's not what it is.

The one time you get to have this bachelorette party and you're going to do it, right?

I wish you were on the bachelorette with us. It would have worked out way better.

Oh, no. Okay. So, we go in, we decorate, and we have our forbidden party that night. Everything goes great. We were having a ton of fun.

How many are there of you? I think it ended up being like 12 girls enough to have a party.

Our party, call it like church party gone crazy. It's not that wild. The next day comes around. We spend the day at the beach. Everything's going great. We're having fun. and we go, "Let's get ready for dinner." We Google the best restaurants in Panama City cuz again, we're not prepared for Panama. It was supposed to be a fine dining steakhouse. Awesome. Let's book a reservation. We get in the Uber. We get over there. We open up the door and what do we see? It is like anown aquarium.

Yes. With a random elderly man in his karaoke machine doing karaoke throughout the restaurant, going up to all the tables, singing to the tables. And at this point, we are so embracing Panama City. We are drinking the juice. We are just going with the vibe. Sure. That's good. We have our dinner and our show. We go, "Okay, let's go back to the Airbnb. We're going to get into our comfy clothes and we are going to pour some champagne and it is time to shower the bride with all of the lingerie that we brought her." We go out to the fire pit and she's starting to unwrap all of her lingerie. Now, when I say lingerie, I don't want you to think like dirty, sexy lingerie. That's not the bride. The bride is very beautiful, classy, silly, and that's the kind of vibe we wanted to embrace. So, all of the girls chose a different theme. All of her favorite things. So, for example, her favorite show is Outlander. So, one of the girls

bought a kilt and had her fiance dress up in the kilt and take a bunch of pictures.

Oh, that's cute. I chose Harry Potter where she had like a sexy little top and the bottoms say like you can park your wand here or why don't you slithering on in.

Lot of word play. Creative. You guys are good girls. Good girls with just a little twist.

Slitherin right in doesn't sound that good girl to me. Well, that's true. So, she's holding up this little nighty and all of a sudden about 20 FBI agents and police officers come storming in our backyard.

Down, down, down. Get on the [ __ ] ground. Wow. And they are popping the fence. No,

it's a raid. Yes. So, they go into the neighbor's yard and flashbombs start going off like crazy. It's huge. What? Lots of smoke. Kines's running like crazy. It is literally chaos. Lingerie party.

So, we naturally go booking it inside. And this is where the group fully divides. Half the group is fetal position, crying hysterically. Get the keys. We're getting in the car and we're leaving. My side of the group, I like to call us the defenders. We were we are going to protect us. We are going to lock the doors, the windows. We're going to call the police. We are not going outside until we know what is going on. Like this is not normal. We call the police and the 911 operator goes, "Yeah, so there is active police activity going on outside right now. You are to shelter in place. We will let you know when it's safe."

By the way, no, they won't. They're not calling back. I know they didn't. Yeah.

Where is the safest place in this house? The stairwell. We think there's no windows. There's no doors. We go like total tornado prep. We are good to go.

Can I ask is the fear a stray bullet might come through the house? Oh, there's the fear of everything. It sounds like guns are going off. I think it's probably rubber bullets and then all the flash bombs. You think that you're in the middle of a war zone?

We are arm in- arm on the stairs crying hysterically. Just as [ __ ] is going down next door, shit's going down in this house. Our little deserted aquarium karaoke dinner.

Uhoh. Oh no. Seven at that point girls are violently ill. Oh my god. This is like the hangover.

This is such a disaster. Oh no. It's literally insane. Jessa, are you one of the victims?

Not until the next day, thankfully. Okay. Took a minute. How many bathrooms are there in this house?

I think there are like four. So, we had a decent amount, but it was really bad. Both ends really sick.

Also, let's add generally when I have that, I'm the only one that has that. So, I'm not entering a bathroom where they already have it. I mean, that is savage.

Four bathrooms for seven people dealing with this is not a symbolical. It was not pleasant to be in that house. This is going on for hours. At this point, it is like 2:30 in the morning. it seems to end and we're like, "Okay, we're going to get in bed. We are going to go to sleep. We're going to wake up when the sun comes up and we are getting out of dodge. We are going back home to Nashville." About an hour later, like we're just hitting REM sleep and all of a sudden you hear boom, it starts right back up again. In the thick of it,

it's like a standoff next door. We all hit the ground and we are like crawling back to the staircase and we are going, "What the hell is going on?" on cuz this entire time we're thinking it's a drug grade. Like how many drugs can one have in a house and at this point we are stone cold sober between the sickness and the hours that have gone by. There is no liquid courage. It is fully 100% sober scaries. We are freaking out. It continues on till 5 in the morning and then at 5 in the morning it ends. We feel brave enough to leave the house. So we pack up the Airbnb and we get out. We go back to Nashville and a couple days later, the news articles start coming out. Panama City, sex trafficking array, 21 men arrested.

Holy. 21 men. So, this all happened next door. It's like a clown car of perverts next door.

Oh my god. What's even crazier, though, is that the whole reason that this even happened was that a girl was kidnapped out of Utah. at a Utah Jazz game. Remember, the Airbnb host is from Utah.

Yes. So, she's kidnapped there by a Panama City man who lives in the sex trafficking house.

Wait, what? So, then when we got to the Airbnb, you know, you go and you look around, you're looking everywhere, wherever you're staying, you're seeing all the nooks and crannies. There's an outdoor shower. We're like, "Oh, that's kind of cool. That might be convenient after the beach." And we look in there and there's a camera in the shower. And we're like, "What in the world? This is so creepy." But upon our investigation, it wasn't aimed at the shower. It was aimed at the front door of the sex trafficking house.

And it was the only camera on property. And that same day, before any of this happened, the Airbnb host emails us and she's like, "Hey girls, hope you're having the best time. Feel free to stay an extra night for free on us."

What? Isn't that crazy? Thank god we didn't do it. Wait, so are we thinking that

the FBI put that up so they could record what was going on or the owner of the house

or the sex traffickers owned the house? I still don't know for sure if they had anything to do with it, but all the roads led back to Tiny Little Utah. It made no sense. It was so crazy. So luckily we survived. The girl was rescued. The evil 21 men were arrested and the wedding went on to be beautiful. The marriage is great. They've been married for years. So, everything has worked out. But, oh my gosh, it was insane.

So, we got some photos. Oh, this is the news article. PCB police arrest 21 men for human trafficking, internet crimes involving children.

Um Oh, but look at the gang. Looks so cute and happy. Yeah, that's at our deserted aquarium dinner. I'm glad your friend's not superstitious cuz I got to say it might start crossing my mind, right? Oh, this is an omen that I should not get married. Yeah, I'm not supposed to get married. Like, how many more signs do I need?

They had been together for many, many years. She felt secure. But I told her that she got all of her chaos out in marriage before the marriage even happened.

Do you think maybe the water you guys were drinking at the restaurant was from the aquarium?

Have you had that thought? think about that until now. Monica, maybe maybe we got some like crazy immune system boosts after it, though.

Do you want a bottle of flat water or filtered water? And you say filtered, they just take a ladle out of the aquarium.

That's right. We thought it tasted a little funny. Well, here's the thing. We're railing on these restaurants a little bit and then I'm feeling snobby, but then everyone gets [ __ ] ghastly ill and you're like, "No, I'm not being snobby. These glasses are disgusting."

That was exactly our mentality. Like, we're not going to be snobby. were embracing Panama City. It's fine. In fact, it was not fine. All I have to say, children, do not tell little white lies. If we didn't lie about being Mormon, none of this would have happened. We would have been safely in Ellis Beach having a great old time.

I think maybe you did get struck down by Joseph Smith. If I'm being honest, Also, there's a lot of morals, too. There's also the old tried andrude, you get what you pay for. It's very rare you actually get a deal. Yeah, but we did.

Yeah, you sure did. I only have a single follow-up question and it does require some vulnerability. You did mention that it did hit you the next day and you were on a road trip the next day. So, how did we deal with that?

Not well. Okay. It was a lot of stops, gas station, bathroom. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was truly truly disgusting. Such a nightmare. Oh,

but we made it. Well, Jessa, this was a delight. Great story. Yeah. phenomenal.

Thank you so much for having me. And I just wanted to say a huge congratulations on the Golden Globes nomination. That is incredible and so welld deserved.

Oh, thank you. It's because of you guys. The armcheries. It is. Send our love to the bride. Thank her for that terrible.

She's a huge armchair Savannah. She definitely wanted me to say hi to you guys.

Great name, Jessa Savannah. These are great. All right, take care. Bye-bye. Bye. Sex trafficking,

diarrhea, puking, sex trafficking, Mormon lies, lingerie party, lingerie, Slytherin,

Slytherin or whatever it was. I'm trying to think what I would say. Tell me the names of Dumbledoref or Dumbled Dumbledore.

Dumbledore. Dumbledore. You got Hufflepuff. I would say back Dumbledore access or back Gryffindor access.

Yeah, both work. Door and back door we want to use somehow. You got Hufflepuff. Huff and puff on this with an arrow.

What was the other one? Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw. These off. You should go into Harry Potter merch. Oh, and Harry Potter.

Harry. It ain't Harry, but it's a Potter. Hi. Hi, Maddie. Hey, guys. How are you?

Good. We just heard a story about people putting Terrence Pausner quotes on lingerie and theirs were clever, but we wanted to be dirtier. So that's what you heard the tail end of.

I see. I see. Maddie, where are you? I am in New York City. Oh, jealous. What part? We have five burrows to choose from.

I'm in Manhattan. Now I'm really jealous. Is it so cozy there right now? It's pretty frigid. I have not left my apartment today.

Congrats. Thank you. And are you a New York native or did you relocate to there?

No, I'm originally from Florida. I've been living here since August of 2023. So, you really reverse the flow cuz it's definitely New York to Florida is the move.

I did it opposite and I don't regret it. Okay. Fun. So, you have a party gone wrong.

I do. Oh, wonderful. And of course, Florida is a great place for In fact, the last party gone wrong we just heard was in Jackson or Panama City. Yeah,

maybe. So, but this does take place in New York. Oh, fantastic. This is a story about my housewarming. The first housewarming party that I've ever hosted. And when I moved, I was subleting, just kind of hopping around from different apartments, but I knew that I wanted to move with my two friends, Katie and Marcus. Those are my roommates. We met doing a show, but we were all kind of spread out. Marcus was already living in New York at the time, and then Katie was moving from the south. So, we all got together in October of 2023, moved in. We found this gorgeous, huge hidden gem apartment in Manhattan. So, we were very excited to decorate and find furniture and finally host a party. So, December was our housewarming. It actually happened 2 years ago yesterday.

Oh, happy anniversary. So, we had a huge group of people that we invited. I invited people that I knew that had moved from high school, a lot of theater people, and then I made the bold decision of inviting my co-workers who I had just met. I work for a major fitness company in New York, and my roommate Marcus had worked for them for the past 5 years. So, it was a lot of people that I had never really spoken to, but seen around the office. But

Marcus had vetted them. Yes. So, everyone comes. It's going well. The drinks are flowing very quickly and a few people keep coming up to me and asking like, "Who is this guy that just walked in? He's saying really weird stuff."

Uhoh. My roommate went up to him and said like, "Who are you here for? Who do you know?" And he said, "Mackenzie." And I feel like he was just like thinking of the first like white girl name he

Madison. He would have not been far off, but we were like, "There's no McKenzie here." So I walked up to him and I said, "What's your name?" name and he was like, "My name is Jillio." I was like, "Okay, Jillio, you need to either leave or you can come back, but you need to bring more alcohol because you've dranken all the alcohol." So, he makes a swift exit. We do another alcohol run. Everything's fine until my friend comes over and tells me that there is a major leak happening in my kitchen. It was a huge crack in the ceiling and it was very close to a light fixture.

So, we were nervous about the building potentially catching on fire. So, my roommate Marcus and my friend go upstairs and talk to our upstairs neighbors. We had seen them before, but never really spoken to them. It was an older woman and her two adult children, probably in their mid-40s. My roommate goes up there, knocks on the door, and when they open the door, there is water everywhere.

Oh boy. There are quilts, sheets, blankets, anything that they could find. And so, they were like, "Yes, we're aware. There's an issue. We're handling it." And slams the door. Everyone comes back down, keeps drinking, having fun. It's getting worse. So, they go back upstairs, and the neighbors are progressively more irritated and rude, and start kind of yelling at us and slamming the door once again. At that point, we decided to call the fire department because it was that bad.

The fire department comes in, they bring like this huge pole with like a little tiny tip

and they put it in the crack. They say nothing else except, "Okay, we're going to go upstairs and talk to the neighbors." And did they route that pole to your sink or something so that it was draining?

All they did was touch the crack. They didn't explain what that was doing. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Everything's fine for a moment. Someone gave me Zen and I had never done that before and I had drank a lot of alcohol. I'm sorry to my family listening to this. But immediately I get really sick and so I'm throwing up in my bathroom and I'm just doing my business and I hear a huge commotion at the door. I hear my roommate, who is the sweetest, kindest little guy, say, "Hit me then. Hit me."

I finish throwing up and I walk out and I see all the men are sitting on the couch, very quiet, nervous, and I look over and it's Marcus, Katie, my roommates, and all the women just like ready to go to battle. I managed to get my way to the front and the upstairs neighbors have come down and they're screaming at us, getting in our face, asking why we would call the fire department. and we've ruined everything and why would we move here? They were also definitely under the influence of something.

Well, when you say mom and two 40-year-old children, there's a story there for sure.

All of my co-workers are native New Yorkers. They're not afraid to get in the fight, defend us, and next thing you know, the daughter comes forward and punches my friend's coworker square in the face.

Oh my god. Okay, now we're cracking. We're cooking. I think they were cooking something up there.

My coworker who is 411, she's so tiny. She starts defending her friend. And so then the brother comes over and starts choking my coworker.

What? She is pinned up against the wall being choked. So now everyone's screaming, pulling each other. And my sweet, sweet roommate Katie, who is from the south, is like, "I've got this on video." And so he turns and takes her phone and walks outside and throws it. so far that it hits the other building across the street. And you know, the streets are wide in New York. So, we were out looking for that. She's in shambles. The cops eventually come.

By the way, they were mad you called the fire department and then they forced you to call the police.

I know. We still to this day don't know what made them so angry unless there was something they were hiding.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say these people were already on the last straw with the landlord. some hijinks happened which caused this big flood and that this was going to be them going, "You know what? Get the [ __ ] out. Now we have enough ammo to get you out of here."

Well, it didn't. They're still there. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, when the police came a lot of questions, did you find the phone? Was the video intact? What did the police do when they got there? What happened?

We could not recover anything on her phone, but we did find her phone. We came back and the cops weren't super helpful because everyone was so intoxicated that they were like, I don't want to deal with this. But they split us all up. They were holding the mother back from us and they pointed at me and my roommates and they said, you guys are going to jail.

The police did or the mom? No, the police. What the hell's happening? What is happening?

I had to ask a lot of people cuz again, there were different levels of being drunk and sober, but they pointed at us and we all responded. We were like, for what? They eventually asked the girls who were assaulted at the party if they wanted to press charges and they were like, "No, we just want to leave." So, we kind of turned to everybody and said like, "Okay, the party's over. Please leave. Thank you so much for coming." And as everyone was leaving, the neighbors were upstairs in their window like screaming at everyone. And the next morning, I called my mom expecting her to be like, "Okay, you're moving." She was like, "That's crazy." And my uncle actually attended the party. He's lived here for like 26 years. He dipped out before everything happened, but his response was like, "Welcome to New York.

New York, baby. You wanted it. You got it." I was so petrified to go to work. I was mortified that this girl came to my party and was choked. You know, I walked into work and everyone who didn't come was like, "Oh my god, I heard you threw the best party."

Oh, great. I gained a lot of friends from that. My coworker that was choked, you could see bruises on her neck. I asked the other neighbors about Gillio if they knew anything about him.

Forgot about Jillio. He was a red herring. They were like, "I can't believe you let that guy in your apartment. You should have never done that." And we haven't seen him since. So, don't know what happened to Jillio. Some lessons learned.

Yeah. But that was my first housewarming party in New York City. Wow. Is this your apartment still?

No, we have since moved. Well, Maddie, that was tasty. I really wish I was at that party. Although I would have of course been in a real dust up with all the whole family.

Also a little girl getting choked. In my mind I would have prevented that. That's why I want to be there. Yeah. I would probably been thrown up in the bathroom

and then I'm going to come out and said what I would have done. If I have a second if I could give some shout outs.

Let's hear some shout outs. First of all, I just want to thank both of you. I'm in New York and I'm acting and pursuing all the things. And it's so reaffirming to hear everyone that you talk to and hear about their journeys and hear about the really good parts and the really bad parts. It keeps me going. And I want to shout out my sister Caroline. She is who got me into this podcast. She just had her second baby, so she's killing it. But we call every week about Armchair Anonymous. I also want to shout out my roommates cuz without them this would not have occurred. We have plenty of stories I'm sure as you can imagine. And lastly, I want to shout out Anna and Juanos.

Oh. Oh my god. She texted me today and she said one of Huancho's best friends is going to be on Armchair Anonymous.

So, you're from Orlando? Yes, sir. Juan and I did theater together. He's truly the best. His family is the best. We love Wancho.

Shout out Wanchcho and Anna. Two of the cutest human beings on planet Earth. I love that you're best friends with him. It makes sense cuz you're so cool and he's so cool.

I call him all the time. I'm like, did you hear about what they said this week on He's like, I don't listen to it as much as Mandy. Delightful meeting you. And we will give Honcho your love.

Yes. Thank you so much. All right. Take care. Bye. God, I love when worlds collide.

Me, too. So fun. Parties are fun. They are. Even when they go wrong, you're like, I would have been glad to have been at any one of those.

Most parties, at least something goes a teeny tiny bit wrong. Even when you're old. I went to a party this weekend. A very adult nice small gathering. A couple friends of the pod were there. There was a whole entire wine spill incident that was hilarious but was scary

because it ran the risk of ruining a very expensive large rug. Yes. The hosts were gone. Then we looked on chat about how to fix it and it said pour baking soda. And then we did that and then it also we put sparkling water on it and then later we read you're not supposed to saturate. And then we were all like, "You know what? It's going to be okay by morning." And then I did check in in the morning. She said it looked exactly the same.

Sure. You forgot the salt. Remember I was telling you I learned from curb your enthusiasm. You're supposed to dump salt on it. I hope it's not too late. It's the only thing I hope.

Yeah. So parties are great. Yeah. Love you. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We have a theme song.

Oh, okay. Great. We don't have a theme song for this new show. So here I go, go. We're going to ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly rind dish. On the fly rind dish. Enjoy.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

Dax Shepard (Host), Sandy (Guest), Stephen (Guest), Jessa (Guest), Maddie (Guest).

What is "Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard" about?

The discussion revolves around wild parties that spiral out of control, tapping into the chaos seen in films like "Project X" and "The Hangover." Participants share their own memorable stories of graduation weekend mishaps in a small Montana town, highlighting the unpredictable nature of celebratory events and the cultural dynamics of their rural community.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

12 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Panama City, Alice Beach, Armchair Anonymous, FBI, Buck Rogers, Motorola Razor. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Armchair Anonymous: Party Gone Wrong | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

The episode runs 54 min; the transcript is about 10,913 words in 249 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.