Transcript

Intruder Plan, Malala Yousafzai, Manifest Destiny | Fact Check for Malala Yousafzai

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 43 min · 8,452 words · 286 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Intruder Plan, Malala Yousafzai, Manifest Destiny | Fact Check for Malala Yousafzai", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published November 5, 2025 (43 min, about 8,452 words). It mentions 61 people, works and ideas, including Wonder, Joan of Arc, John von Neumann, spittoon, Little Joy.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Little Joy, Quarter Sheets, Dodger Stadium, Flonnie
  2. – 10:00: morbid curiosity
  3. – 20:00: Best Dead, fire safety week, Wonder
  4. – 25:00: Ashley Anne, Narcissism, Parasocial Relationship, Peter Kraza
  5. – 30:00: Houston, Best Boy Award, Beverly Hills, Capitol Grill
  6. – 40:00: Wonder, Arizona, chess grandmaster, Santa Barbara
  7. – 42:58: Wonder, Bobby Fischer, Dave Buttons, Florence Nightingale

Notable quotes from "Intruder Plan, Malala Yousafzai, Manifest Destiny | Fact Check for Malala Yousafzai"

  • And next to it was a bar that was playing the Dodgers. it's it's in the area by Dodger Stadium. So, a lot of people go to watch the game.
    about Dodger Stadium · at
  • And then you go over to Quarter Sheets.
    about Quarter Sheets · at
  • No, they just appear like Sonica is an alter ego. She drinks a lot of water.
    about Sonica · at
  • And then we left and we were walking back by Little Joy and it's open. So we were we pee to see how we were doing and it was 61. We were not winning.
    about Little Joy · at
  • Thing. It was just completely random that she said this. And then I was thinking, I wonder if I hear this all the time, but I wasn't thinking of it cuz we hadn't done that episode.
    about Wonder · at
  • And I also remember in school they would, we'd be doing like fire safety week or something and they would tell you like have a game plan, have an escape route at your house, have like a plan.
    about fire safety week · at
  • Yes. It's very Houston's adjacent.
    about Houston · at
  • Yeah. he's running for the city of Redmond. Okay. Mozart. Marie Cury. I didn't know she was a wonder kid. She was I thought she was old as hell when she invent penicellin.
    about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

Books & papers

  • Yes Man — Book · 1 mention · first at
    Well, Santa Barbara is the same as Santa Barbara's the same. Okay. The movie Yes, Man. Yeah. That was a year that I needed to say yes.
  • Split — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • Wingstop — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Best Dead — Company · 1 mention · first at
    I was listening to your first episode of Best Dead.
  • Wikipedia — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Now on Wikipedia, it has like nothing.
  • History Channel — Company · 1 mention
  • Zapp's — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

  • spittoon — Product · 3 mentions
  • voodoo chips — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Anyway, they sell these chips, voodoo chips, that are really yummy. So, in best case scenario, we go there. We have voodoo chips.
  • tortilla chips — Product · 1 mention · first at

Concepts & topics

  • Wonder — Concept · 7 mentions · first at
  • morbid curiosity — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Definit Oh, it's a ding-ding to an upcoming episode. There's an expert we have on morbid curiosity.
  • nature vs nurture — Concept · 2 mentions
  • gluten-free crust — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah, you wouldn't have noticed probably, but do they have a gluten-free crust by chance? it's LA.
  • limited edition — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. And you love it cuz of the scarcity limited edition.
  • Sonica — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Flonnie — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    And then there's another one named Flonnie and she's feisty like she's like loopy and quirky.
  • fire safety week — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Parasocial Relationship — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Does have to confront a lot of personal things and personal behaviors throughout because it's about parasocial relationships, but both ways.
  • status mountain — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Between the three of us, we've all been close enough to several people who have gone to the absolute top of the status mountain. And yeah, it was our kind of our conclusion…
  • Narcissism — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Peter and I have is a lot to manage successfully and to not become a narcissist and an [ __ ] and all this stuff.
  • junk food versus protein — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    It's almost like junk food versus protein. It's like the real self-esteem comes from the service and the being available to others and the.
  • Best Boy Award — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    That's why that Best Boy Award, not very many people get it. it's an exclusive rare.
  • chess grandmaster — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    He's like a chess grandmaster in his teens. But I just was like the whole Vunder kid thing is scary. prodies. It's like impossible to live up to.
  • Radioactivity — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah, I think discovered God I think antibiotics radioactivity.
  • Modern nursing — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Oh, but the founder of modern nursing.
  • Chess — Concept · 1 mention
  • intruder scenarios — Concept · 1 mention
  • Penicillin — Concept · 1 mention
  • salad bar / dessert bar / broccoli — Concept · 1 mention
  • tea oxidation process — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

  • Little Joy — Place · 2 mentions · first at
  • Quarter Sheets — Place · 2 mentions · first at
  • Houston — Place · 2 mentions · first at
  • Dodger Stadium — Place · 1 mention · first at
  • Capitol Grill — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Pretty rare. Have you tried Capitol Grill yet?
  • Beverly Hills — Place · 1 mention · first at
    I took my mom and Dan there yesterday for a Is it in Beverly Hills?
  • tea plantation — Place · 1 mention · first at
    And I stayed at a place that was in a tea plantation.
  • Santa Barbara — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Well, Santa Barbara is the same as Santa Barbara's the same. Okay. The movie Yes, Man. Yeah. That was a year that I needed to say yes.
  • Arizona — Place · 1 mention · first at
    It's awesome. She wrote this like fivepage story about leaving Arizona to go to college in Cleveland.
  • Redmond — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. he's running for the city of Redmond. Okay. Mozart. Marie Cury. I didn't know she was a wonder kid. She was I thought she was old as hell when she invent penicellin.

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

Stay tuned for the fact check. It's where the party's at. Hello. Hello. Did you use that uh towel? Your hair towel? You did? Yeah. You can tell. It's crazy you don't use the hair towel every single night cuz every time you use the hair towel, you get a compliment on it. Now,

thank you. I know. But I can only use it on wet hair and I only wash my hair once.

Once a month. How often do you wash your hair? Once a week. Once a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of hair. It's a big job.

It's a big job. Expensive. Probably got to use a lot of shampoo. Yeah. And And it gets um dry. Like I It's not good for me to overw wash it. Dry. Brittle. Yeah. Brittle bones. I do need a haircut really badly.

Your hair, sis. But one thing about the towel that's interesting is um when I use it, you know, my hair gets a little it's very naturally curly. It's hitting its natur. But yeah, just tread lightly. Yeah.

Well, no. People like straight hair. Well, that's the funny thing. Exactly. You like grass is always green.

Always. But when my hair is curly, if I brush it, it gets poofy. Uhhuh. So, I haven't been brushing my hair lately at all.

And do you get um You're so blessed your hair, right? Because you don't get knots.

I do sometimes get knots and I just Sometimes you say now when I had long hair and I'm talking only like a little bit past my shoulders.

Yeah. Every night it would get like a dreadlock in it when I slept. Oh yeah. I don't have that.

Yeah. I had to really every morning with [ __ ] conditioner and a comb like get knots out

cuz you have fine hair. Thin. We call that fine hair. Fine hair. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful fine hair. Um, okay. So, yesterday I went to a restaurant

and next to it was a bar that was playing the Dodgers. Like, it's it's in the area by Dodger Stadium. So, a lot of people go to watch the game.

Sure. And not the shortstop. No, it's called Little Joy. Yes. Wingstop. You were at uh Quarter Sheets.

Yes. Okay. Good job, Rob. Put it all together. Um, little joy. Really cute. Yeah.

Anyway, they sell these chips, voodoo chips, that are really yummy. So, in best case scenario, we go there. We have voodoo chips.

What are voodoo chips? Um, it's tortilla chips. No, they're they're potato chips.

Yeah. But they have Let's see how they're described. They're so good. Zap's kettle potato chips. Voodoo. sweet, spicy, and tangy flavor known as people chips.

Oh, New Orleans kettle style voodoo. They're so good. I'm intrigued. Oh, I'll get you some. They're really good.

Okay. And they sell them there. So, you have a little voodoo. Uhhuh. And then you go over to Quarter Sheets. Really good pizza place. Now, we were watching the game and then we went over to Quarter Sheets. And when we were

Can I ask who we is, Yana and Jess? Yes. Okay. I just look on the website for the next reservation and I just book it cuz it's really hard to get in there

for the pizza joint. Yeah, you wouldn't have noticed probably, but do they have a gluten-free crust by chance? I mean, it's LA.

They should. They must. I don't think they do a lot of Good for them if they Also, if they don't, Good for you guys.

Don't accommodate to us. Like, make your real thing and don't [ __ ] accommodate.

Yeah, cuz they only have like a certain amount. Okay. Scarcity. Oh, good though.

Yeah. And you love it cuz of the scarcity limited edition. So anyway, we went, we had a great time. Um, so I have a couple alter egos um

that you make resins with. No, they just appear like Sonica is an alter ego. She drinks a lot of water.

Interesting. Yeah, cuz she's in the sauna so often or Oh, wow. No. uh she just is thirsty and so like every now and then if sonnie takes over and then I'm just drinking a lot of water.

Okay. And then it's like oh sonnie's here, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's another one named Flonnie and she's uh feisty like she's like um loopy and quirky.

Uhhuh. Slapsticky. Yeah, exactly. Pervy. Um sure. But I think I think they're all pervy.

Okay. Okay. including Monica. Okay. So something I was like it was like that movie split like

Flie came, sonnie came, I was there, you know, and it was a carousel of characters.

It was a big night and then we left and we were walking back by Little Joy and it's open. So we were we pee to see how we were doing and it was 61. We were not winning.

Yeah. And we were all like, "Oh god, that's bad." Yeah. Yeah. And then this guy was standing on the street and he was like, "Yeah, you saw it. Those guys got run over."

What? I know. And we were like, "What?" And he said, "Yeah, the the two people just got run over up there." And it was so it was definit Oh, it's a ding-ding to an upcoming episode. There's an expert we have on on morbid curiosity.

Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it was a real, it was such a ding- ding ding because he was like, you know, out there and you could tell he was like scared talking about it, you know. He was like, "They got run over. I I think they were homeless, but I don't know." And and they screamed and and then Jess was like, "Oh, I don't want to hear anymore." No, that he kept saying they were homeless, which was it was an interesting piece of it cuz

I could tell he was kind of saying it so that he felt better about it, I think.

Yep. You know, and he was like they ran out in front and but yeah, he was just like processing it.

Yes. And we did this feels we did not want to hear it, you know, like this is very similar to like if a strayed dog got hit by a car or someone's family pet. I think that's what's happening. like

you're trying to comfort yourself and so you're like but they were homeless being like uh they're you know they're running around and they're already crazy you know like somehow

somehow it's better it's it's like it's not the big threat to the world because these people are already living on the fringes and doing wild stuff

right like but I don't even think you know you're doing that but you're trying to go like well this I shouldn't feel so afraid because it's not a normal person it was a homeless person

yeah in quotes 100%. Yes. That it's like I would never be in that position because that's a different type of person than

like if a guy got hit by a car and you were like he was a drug addict. There's something about it. Oh, he's like slumped on.

He was on drugs. That's why it happened. Yes. And there's like more culpability and but it's all made up. We all making it all.

A human died and and yeah. And so um although we don't even know if they died. Yeah. That's what I said. I said, "Well, maybe they are okay." Cuz our friend Eric got hit by a car and he was okay.

Is Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, he's who knows what he was like before. We met him post taxi. He got blasted by a taxi cab.

Yeah. Yeah. In New York. But again, though, but what's funny is it's like it was Eric and you go, "Oh, it was definitely his fault,

right?" Cuz he's so absent- minded. He was probably looking at his phone. But if someone's really alert and they get hit, you're like, "Oh, no. Then that could happen to me."

Yeah. I know. And the truth is everything could happen to all of us. Anyone could get hit by a car.

Yeah. Jess said something interesting. He was like, "Yeah, it also goes from if you hit someone a a person that's just walking across the street, if you hit them, like you're a murderer."

Uhhuh. And if if it's this homeless person who jumps out in front of you, it's a bit of the collateral catastrophe that that is homelessness in LA,

right? It's like a part of a bigger problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's we we really categorize things to make ourselves like feel better. Anyway, anyway, so that was a crazy thing that happened

and I don't but you didn't really get many details other than that the people were potentially homeless

screaming and potentially homeless. Okay. Ambulance come and take them away. Yeah. A lot. There were so many police.

Yeah. But I'm really glad I didn't see it because that is the type of thing that is like that lady in the mall who had to get out of the wheelchair and let or the husband had to get out of the wheelchair and the lady had to get in the wheelchair and it was a whole commotion and I was like really upset about that for the rest of my life.

Uhhuh. Yeah. I think this would have made a similar mark. Yeah. So, I have to say I'm glad I did not see that.

Well, what I'm hearing, which sounds like good news, is you are more affected by that than the loss. Uh, the World Series loss.

I was. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I think that speaks well to your character. It also is so human. Like, he's a stranger, this person. He's a stranger on the street, and he really wants to connect over this bad thing that happened.

Yeah. Yeah. It's really interesting. Well, he's he's alone in this, and he needs a little connection.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, I have such a warp. So again, we're talking so much about this expert, but

yeah, this morbid curiosity topic, which is great. And there's there's categories. This person broke it into four categories of different curiosities you could have. But one is violence.

Yeah. Now, one is my great curiosity. But yeah, as we were going through some of these things and I was like, yeah, I just don't even get scared. I don't have any emotion during a scary movie,

right? And yeah, I'm like really desensitiz like I could see the people get hit by a car and I would be kind of fine. I could walk over and get involved and

Right. Right. and it wouldn't uh Yeah. I I don't That's And I don't know. I want to know if I was born that way. I want to know if it's nature or nurture.

That's a I mean probably some combo. Yeah. But probably more nurture I would say for that. Well, this guy was saying like when you show people pictures of violence, there's like these different levels of which if it's like um if it's a two guys high-fiving and you're seeing a photo, you'll immed you'll first notice that they have contact with one another. So, your eyes go to the high five, but then your eyes go immediately to their faces.

Whereas, if it's vi if it's like um a punch to the stomach, you your your eyes will go to that violence and it won't come away. But then if you see it on the street, you might you don't want to look or you're repelled by it.

Yeah. And I only have the attracted to it part, you know. Yeah. I mean, I think that's nurture probably because you're around violence, but also you have a um need to help. So like you're not going to be like, I got to turn away. You want to go towards it to see what you can do. Yeah. So, that would be like a good reason and I'm not even willing to give myself that pat on the back. Even more like when Nate and I were in Afghanistan and the base we were at got bombed and everyone was running in a very specific direction. And they were running to all of the bomb bunkers.

Mhm. Which were all around the base. And I was feeling I was fighting this huge compulsion to run from where everyone was coming. Run towards where everyone was running away from

and knowing that I'm a guest here and I we have this liaison that's and I start moving and he's like, "No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where you going?" I'm like, "I got to see I have to see what they're running from."

Oh, interesting. It's like I can't like almost I need to see what the threat is or the degree of it.

Huh. Before I can possibly feel calm, I got to first know what we're up against.

Oh, that's interesting. Huh. But yeah, I just want to run at everything. That's not good.

It's not a good instinct. Yeah. No. Yeah. I mean, I do think I think something like this, like someone getting hit by a car and you going towards that is nice. Like I I sometimes feel like I'm really bad because I I don't want to

You want to pretend that you didn't It didn't It's not happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, sometimes I'm in my bed and I think I might have heard like an accident.

Mhm. And I should go out to see. And I struggle with this. I'm like, "What should I do?"

You should feel guilty cuz there's so many people like me in the world. I know. But what if they're not around? I more have that when I see something and I'm like the cops aren't there yet.

Yeah. And I'm like, do I call 911? I'm like, I'm sure someone That's the time where I'm like, I'm sure someone else did.

Yes. Calling 911. It's a big It's a big hindrance for me. I don't want to do it

and I assume someone else is going to do it. But if everyone assumes But didn't you call 911 once for absolutely nothing?

No, it wasn't nothing. It was important. And then they didn't pick they weren't picking up.

Okay. Okay. There was like some guy lurking around our apartment. Okay, that's worthy of our money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um and they just kept bringing They never picked up. No, that's interesting. It's not good.

We've heard that on Armchair Anonymous. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. Now, back to I do think this uh upcoming episode's going to be one of these ones where it's like I think about a lot or I start noticing. I think it really Yes.

cuz it happened immediately. We interviewed this person yesterday and then I'm laying in bed with Lincoln last night and we're talking about I don't even know what we're talking about, but she just tells me.

Yeah. She's like, you know, I I uh I spend a lot of time when I'm in my room by myself planning out scenarios where there's an intruder and they get into my room.

Yes. And I have a couple different plans. Like I have this one toy I think would make a great weapon. And so it's like I I have one version where I'm going to, you know, I'm going to go grab that. I forget how she determined when that's the option. Uh, and then another one is she goes onto her balcony and then hangs over the side and drops down.

Yeah. And then runs to here. She's decided she's running into the studio. Oh. And locking the doors, but screaming the whole time, hoping we'll wake up

and then buying time. But I'm kind of like imp like why not just run all the way run out the house. Run to

You have to You have to Oh. Oh, you mean keep going. She's going to get a distance, but she's going to stay on the property. She also has this inclination to make sure everything we're alerted. Like she doesn't want to abandon the whole situation, but she wants to build a buffer.

But anyway, she's telling me this whole thing. It was just completely random that she said this. And then I was thinking, I wonder if I hear this all the time, but I wasn't thinking of it cuz we hadn't done that episode.

Yeah. But I was like, "Oh, honey, that's this great gift of humans. We can model out the potential threats we have and we can have game plans without ever having experienced it." And now whether you'll be able to execute this game plan or not, like you at least have a game plan and you have a couple.

Yeah, I had so many game plans. You did. First and foremost, you get under the bed, but then you Spiderman, you you're not under, you are flush with the

you're holding yourself up like a cockro the top of the bottom of the bed. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, hair is a little bit of an issue there. Yes. You got to put up a pony like flap it so that it's also flush.

Get your towel. Get your nighttime towel. Yeah, that was my plan when I was a kid.

But my guess is you never tried that cuz I don't think you could have done it. I didn't try it.

You're not a spider monkey. But I felt like I in a in a scenario like that. Life or death.

Yeah, I could do it. I think some of us rely a little too much. We're going to get a big bump once the adrenaline hits. We'll know kung fu as soon as that adrenaline spike happens.

Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. And I I also remember in um school they would, you know, we'd be doing like fire safety week or something

and they would tell you like have a game plan, have an escape route at your house, have like a plan.

And so I told my parents like we're we need to come up with a plan. And they said no.

Oh, they had no play that. They thought it was a silly waste of time. Now, if we believe there's any power in manifesting, which we do.

Yeah, we do. I was listening to your first episode of Best Dead. Oh, thank you.

And they're reading uh for people who haven't listened to it yet. Uh you're going through your history, which was you were a fan of their show.

Yeah. And then you had written them emails. Yes. And then they had access to those emails.

So embarrassing. Were you prepared for them to that quickly be able to produce these emails from 10 years ago?

No. He just he he just did a little quick search. That's so easy to pull up. It was so embarrassing.

But you say out loud on there, I hope I'm a guest on your show one day. I know. Isn't that wild?

Yeah. And I'm like, I'm caught in the same spot you are, right? Like I'm thinking if I was reading like this was all happening to me, I'd have the same embarrassment you have.

Yeah. And then I have like some judgment of people who are forward. You do? Yeah. Like when people hand people scripts in restaurants and stuff, I'm like, "No, that's not how you do it.

That's how you do it." Like you go through the channels like everyone else. There's no shortcut, you know? But then

Yeah. I I hear this story and I'm like, "Well, then also that's true." Yeah. You ended up on their show

and them on yours. I did. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so it's funny that that's your takeaway because I and I do think it's so specific to who you are

and you know I hate asking people for stuff like my own hang-ups. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um cuz Anna and I were talking about this. She listened and she heard that part and she texted me and said, "I almost started crying when I heard that email."

Yeah. Yeah. She was like, "It was so sweet and you're just such a go-getter." Oh, yeah. I thought that too sending emails and

which and then it was a weird sim because earlier that day Jess and I were talking about hustlers and is that learned or is that who you are? Is that like nature or nurture basically?

Yeah. And and we were kind of talking about the group our group of friends and who is one and who isn't one.

Oh. Uhhuh. And he was like you are one. And I was like I am I am I think that's right. And then this was sort of like a weird

confirmation. Um, and I think being a hustler is as cool as it gets. I think that's one of the

Yeah, that's a descriptor of me. I'd love to have someone say I think it's just like I don't that's the only option. Like I think that's the only option of getting anywhere like you

waiting waiting around that is just not going to happen. I think there are very specific lines that I feel I know not to cross that are just

the you decided. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They happen to be other people's lines. Like that's all life is like you you know you run into someone and that that to them is also the line and jives.

Yeah. And there is there isn't a right or wrong line. There's no right or wrong. It depends on who you're talking to, who you're connecting with. And I do think there's a for me I do think I also have a level of self-awareness

and awareness of others a heightened awareness of others. So I'm kind of like that person probably is a no. This person is a yes. But even like even with writing the letter to Jen Anne like that is that is just like I'm I'm going for it

cuz why you know? Yeah. Why not? I have other domains of I'm going for it, but the just like

reaching out and asking is so hard for me. I'm doing it more and more and more.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I have to I just I don't have a problem asking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good quality. Yeah.

But anywh who manifest. So like you manifested that whole relationship, right? It's in writing circle.

Yeah. It's in writing. Yeah. Yeah. I manifested a lot of relationships. And I was just like, and you you you explicitly state it, but while I'm listening to her response to you, I'm like,

well, no doubt she's going to end up in a murky situation. Oh, Elizabeth. Yeah.

Cuz by the way, these are my favorite kind of people. No boundaries. Yeah. Um like her third response is to you is like, "Will you marry me?" And I'm like, "Yes." This is like

I'm so much like her. No, you I think you are boundaried. You're good at You're good at that.

Yeah. Maybe more the kind of BDP uh like I fall for people. I love people pretty quickly.

Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Which lacks some boundaries. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you would not

have herself in the situation she ended up fighting. That's true. That's true. That's true. Um,

but it just it's like it's all right there in the intro of this kind of innocuous inane backstory. And you're like, well, of course, Elizabeth's going to end up in something

situation. Yeah, there's a lot of things being examined a ton. And I applaud her honesty and lack of any kind of She's just very honest about it. Like you're like, "How did your ego like getting these letters?" And she's like, "Yes, loved it. Loved

loved Yeah. It's the most complicated journey for her definitely by far of the of the three of us. And and um and she does have to confront a lot of personal things and personal behaviors throughout because it's about parasocial relationships, but both ways.

Yeah. Yeah. And it is it's a tricky it's a tricky world. It is. It is a tricky world.

I just was on a hike with my brother Peter Kraza. Oh. and Larry Trilling, our father, our directing father. It was sweetest hike a couple days ago.

And yeah, we were talking about between the three of us, we've all been close enough to several people who have gone to the absolute top of the status mountain. And yeah, it was our kind of our conclusion that like even the level Peter and I have is a lot to manage

successfully and to not become a narcissist and an [ __ ] and all this stuff. Yeah. And obviously Peter and I have only experienced like really a 25th of what's out there.

And we all kind of concluded that we certainly know a lot fewer people that manage that successfully than we do

successfully. It's it's a it's such an abnormal experience for a human designed to know 100 people to have tens of millions of people love them.

It's unnatural. And good luck. And I'm not judgmental of anybody who doesn't manage that well because like it's so bizarre.

Yeah, I know. And confusing, I think. And ultimately, ironically, lonely. I think that's where all these most of these cases lead to really a lot of isolation and loneliness, which is the opposite of what your fantasy was.

I know. And I also think it blur. It gets confusing. who you're servicing in life gets confusing

and who your close people are versus who is everyone versus like I do think it's lonely and scary and hard hard to manage. The thing I can relate to a lot is I think for many people it's like they don't enjoy it and they're afraid it's going to go away

which is the weirdest no mental space to be in because it feels like you've lost something

that you've lost which but then it doesn't feel like love when you're engaged in it.

No. And it seems to be the outcome of the goal you set. So, it's like, well, if that goes away, then the thing I was chasing, I I must also say goodbye to

Yeah, I guess my hats off to the few that have like are somehow completely normal after that bizarre human experience.

Yeah, really strange. But there's they're few and far between. People who have handled it well are the most evolved people on earth because you have to do the hardest thing which is really fundamentally understand that what anyone else says about you doesn't matter

and choose to chase the validation that's hard to get and not the one that's right there and easy to consume.

It's almost like junk food versus protein. It's like the real self-esteem comes from the service and the being available to others and the

making yourself suffer all the things you know basically anything you don't want to do is going to lead to self-esteem

the human parts not the like celebrity parts or famous parts or those things. Yeah.

Yeah. So, it's like what you have this at all times. You're at a a a salad bar and there's like a humongous dessert bar and then there's a little bowl of broccoli and for the few people that can just pick that broccoli,

it's hard. I think a lot of it has to do too with how grounding of a relationship you're in and how like equal footed the relationship is. I think that can help people not get too

untethered. Like a person I can say who's completely [ __ ] normal and as famous as it gets is Kimmel.

Yeah. Like somehow Kimmel Yeah. is a completely normal dude. He's the same dude I met 21 years ago. And my hunch is he he was the same then as he was 21 years before that.

Right. Right. And the things that are obvious to me in his life is that like he's completely surrounded by his family at all times.

Y he is not like at all distance himself from his family. Y they all work with him. They're all everywhere with him.

Um, yeah, he's so loyal and a lot of his focus is endlessly on like like his his hobbies getting people presents. So, he's like just endlessly thinking about or noticing someone like this and having something special made.

It's like his hobby is something not selffocused. Yeah. And then the family's around all the time and then his wife's a gangster and not going to be out leveraged or outtalked. Yep.

Yeah. He should write a book. How to be a successful A-list. He really should. Yeah.

That's why that Best Boy Award, not very many people get it. You know, it's an exclusive rare.

Pretty rare. Pretty pretty rare. Have you tried Capitol Grill yet? No. Is it good?

You should try it. I want to get it. I took my mom and Dan there yesterday for a

Is it in Beverly Hills? No, it's right next to Warner Brothers. Oh, yeah. So, it's very close.

What' you get? And they're not popular yet. Oh. So you can just go in there, which is not going to last long.

Not now. Probably not now. But I also want them to stay in business because I love it.

This is a steakhouse. Yes. It's very Houston's adjacent. Oh, nice. Yeah. They got like artichoke and really fresh vegetables and the tomatoes outrageous.

The meat's incredible. I just discovered it maybe a month and a half ago and I've been four times now.

What do you get? What's your order? The lamb chops. Oh wow. Yeah. They've got an incredible French onion soup.

We love French onion soup. Croc or cup croc. Oh wow. Yeah. Beautiful salad. The artichokes. Uh it's great.

Sounds like it probably has a good martini. Garen [ __ ] tea. The bar is 29 feet. It's longer than that. Bar is probably 50 ft long.

I want to go. Maybe I'll go now. Should go there and get [ __ ] face in like the middle of the afternoon. It looks like a great place to

That sounds really nice. Yeah. I I'm going to Houston's tonight. you are with Elizabeth and Andy because

to celebrate we launched today and then she uh that's where we decided to make it

so it's a full circle. Okay, great. All right, shall we do some facts? Yeah, let's do some facts.

Okay, some facts from Alala. Not very many facts. Not very fact heavy. Yeah. What are you going to say? She didn't feel lonely.

Well, I did look that up. Okay. No. Um Okay. So her friend was telling her how to drink tea properly.

Yeah. Not hit the sides of the cup. Yeah. And uh you joked that she that she should have been like, "Bitch, we invented tea."

Yeah. And I also remember you having a moment in your life where you learned how to do tea.

Did I? Maybe. I heard the whole don't hit the sides thing and it wasn't from Aaron Weekly.

Huh. It was either you or Kristen. It was probably Kristen. Okay. Maybe when she had lunch with the queen. She told her to be. She never had lunch with a clean butt

in her dream. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, there was a phase. Tea phases are fun. I love tea. I drink tea every morning.

You start pedestrian style. You get the bag. Dip dip dip. Lipped in iced tea. Everyone's done it.

Sure. Um classic. And you can graduate to like raw tea and then the little steel basket.

Yep. The steeping in the basket. And we were doing that for a minute. I was like really into English breakfast tea for a while.

Tea. You know why I stopped? Why vanity? What do you mean? It's I think the highest on the teen teeth staining spectrum.

Oh my god. How are my teeth? They're still white as [ __ ] But you were just you were blessed. You've got straight big white teeth.

No, that I didn't know that. That's very scary. I've been drinking it. I drink it every morning.

You better brush right after. I brush before. Oh, no. You got to change the order.

Really? Yeah. You should look up the list. There's like, you know, between coffee, wine, but tea is like tea will get you, girl.

Oh, have you ever noticed people drink tea like it'll it stains the cup? Coffee never stains the cup.

Well, is it But do you think maybe mine's not as bad? Because I put a little milk in there. I drink it like that's sugar. So, you're just adding an adhesive to the the dye.

No, I don't add sugar. Just milk. Oh, you're saying the sugar in the milk? Yeah, the lactose is sugar.

Okay. But it makes the color much more diluted. Sure. It's like a very light. It's like

Yeah. Well, just imagine. Great. If your teeth were the color of your tea after you put milk in it, would you be happy with that?

No. But I also have been doing this for like five years. Like I don't And it's so far so good.

Do you think they'll ever learn to tattoo teeth? And do you think people ever reject white teeth? Because like white teeth, what is why we're all so drawn to white teeth? I guess it looks clean.

It looks healthy. Yeah. Like it's it's a clearly some evolutionary signal we're getting that we all are universally like we'd prefer the teeth white.

Yes. You can't say it's just like oh marketing got you. That's not it. You're right. It is it's like an indicator that your body is healthy.

Yes. It's like the whites of your eyes. Right. How are mine? Always great is I'm envious. I have to but I have to add drops.

Oh yeah. That's cuz you don't sleep well. So you I'm an allergy machine, you know. I constantly got something.

Yeah, but your teeth are white. Well, I brushed the [ __ ] out of them and I did stop drinking tea specifically because I

That sucks. I don't want to drive down the tea market. I hope it thrives. Let's do I mean it's that's you are a negative and I'm a positive so that evens out.

Okay. So, it's neutral. But I do think you should look it up. Don't want to do that. Um what if like if you start noticing people's teeth are like brownish? I guess you should just be like, "Do you drink a lot of tea?"

You just go like, "Oh, cool. I love ingi brekie, too." We should have a glass. What? How do you know I like English breakfast? Because your tea are your color of a [ __ ] bottom of the lake in the fall.

Oh, man. Okay. Wow. Do I brush my teeth before? You should do it after. I think it depends on the day.

Yeah. In your time schedule. Exactly. I guess I should do it before and after. Although I actually I know I don't like drinking something right after I brush my teeth cuz like you know toothpaste taste.

It funks it up. But I also do kind of fundamentally not want to put anything in my body until my teeth are clean.

So you know what I do? Maybe this. So I wake up and I brew my coffee. It sits next to me while I meditate as you already know. But before I'm done meditating I'm like, "Okay, I get to have my coffee." But first, I take a big sip of really clean, fresh water,

right? And I even kind of just a little bit. I want a nice clean palette for this coffee I'm about to receive.

Okay. So, maybe just have a nice heavy glass of a mouthful of fresh. It's got to be fresh good water

like Tahoe. Don't promote taho artisan.com. Shut brush. Shut up. The issue is I don't want what's in my mouth down my gullet. That's crazy. It came from your gullet.

I But yeah, now it needs to come out. Okay. Needs to be clean. The germs need to go away.

Okay, here's my pitch. Okay. I have a spatoon that I ended up getting for Christmas the year I quit dipping.

Yep. It's a bummer. It breaks my heart. I know. Get a spatoon like the one I have.

Okay. Uh big, fresh, clean mouthful of water. Gargle. Spit it in your spatoon. Okay.

Then consume your tea. Then brush your teeth. Okay, I'll consider there's a lot of stuff to have a lot of stuff or switch to coffee.

I'll think about it. Okay, but [ __ ] we invented tea. Actually, technically, China is the country that invented tea.

I'm not shocked. But the Indian Wasn't the Indian spice trade also tea and spice or no?

Uh, I mean the the tea, the English went down to India and they wanted [ __ ] They wanted the spices and I thought the tea.

Me too. Dargine lean tea. Yep. Yeah. I don't know. Enough about the history of tea.

I don't except it is saying here China, but the issue is I do think you're right. We think tea is very Indian, but I actually think it's British.

Okay. You know what? This is an old fact I've said in the past. You're not going to believe this.

Okay. Well, this is so fascinating. Do you know how many different kinds of tea there are?

Oh, one. There's only one. You told me that there is only one. That makes no sense.

It's how you dry it which turns it into English breakfast or green tea or anything like green tea is really fresh. It's not been dried out a bunch.

Yeah, but it's all the same bush. So, the black tea versus the green tea versus chai.

Yeah, it's all the same. So, but my guess is that the bush is probably originally from China and they were probably doing green tea and then the Indians got their hands on it and they were like, "Fuck, hold on. Let's drive this to a high heaven and see what we can play with it."

And I think they must have invented the third one you said. Chai. Chai. Well, chai. So, this is one of those chai.

And chai means tea. It means tea. I know people like that. So, it's t though people are really mad when I say chai tea. Like, they'll correct me. No one needs to get mad about it, but it's it's also okay that it is it does mean tea.

Yeah, that's that's great. It means tea. Um but chai has more spices. Like the Indian tea has more spices and stuff in it.

Yes. My mom makes me tea when I'm home and she always asks, "Do you want like the spices and stuff in it?"

Okay. I normally say yes. You know in Italy they say chibello and bissimo as you learned

and bisimo. Um okay. Yeah. So China uh well good for them. I did watch the history of tea on the history of channel which is how I learned that it's all one bush

and I kind of wish I remembered why India is so connected to it. Connected to it.

Yeah. Me too. So there's two main varieties of the plant. One is in China and one is in India.

Ooh. But yeah, it's the oxidation process that makes the teas different. Now on Wikipedia, it has like nothing.

Rwanda's gone all in on tea growing. And I stayed at a place that was in a tea plantation.

Oh, cool. And they're gorgeous. Like the field of tea leaves is beautiful. It was very enchanted.

Yeah. Do you think I should at my house do a tea bush? Yeah, I do. If if we have the climate to support that, which I think we might. I don't know if it's moist moist enough here but

I mean, according to my dad, it's the same as India. Well, Santa Barbara is the same as

Santa Barbara's the same. Okay. The movie Yes, Man. Yeah. That was a year that I needed to say yes.

One whole year. Mhm. Great concept. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I liked that movie. Okay. Famous Wonder.

Oh, great. Mozart. Oh. Oh, I thought it was a bug, but it was actually my mouse. That was embarrassing.

You're bringing up a really You're about to do Vunderans, and I was in this really complicated dilemma.

Oh, Delta was reading me a story she wrote. Mhm. It's awesome. She wrote this like fivepage story about leaving Arizona to go to college in Cleveland.

Oh. And her uncle's like looking out for her and encourages her to plant in this empty lot where people grow things. and then her mom gets cancer and she has to come back to Arizona and it's just a great story and the details are incredible

but she there is a line that said like I was 19 and in my third year of college and I was like oh

do I tell her she would have to be 16 when she entered and people generally enter at 18 and was she a vunderkin and I thought like oh she maybe I could ask gently like oh is she a vunderkin

and then I was like who gives a flying ab just enjoy the story and I did good the Angels of my nature prevailed.

Yeah, but like you're as a parent, you're constantly like, do I need to teach them this?

I know. I I would I would also be struggling with that. Yeah, I think I chose right. Who the [ __ ] cares? If if it's an issue, I guess her teacher will say like, hey, PSU would have been

Also, it's like we could just fill in our own gaps. Like, I guess she's a wonder kidin.

She's a wonder kid. Or maybe she did two years of like community college while she's going to high school and enter.

She just had a lot of credits. Yeah. Yeah. was technically her third year of college even though it was her first year of university. I don't know.

Yeah. But I was just like it it took over for a minute. My cousin's son, he started college when he was like 15.

I don't think it's a good idea. He's a wonder kid. These wonder kids never I just read this terrible there was a headline about like this there was a Vunder kid chess champion who just died at 29.

He's like a chess grandmaster in his teens. But I just was like the whole Vunder kid thing is scary. prodies. It's like impossible to live up to.

It's really hard and the pressure is too much cuz there's still a kid. Yeah. But he's giving up his career to run for city office, city council.

Who is my my cousin's son. Oh, really? Yeah. I panned out for him. Yeah. I mean, he's running for the city of Redmond. Um Okay. Mozart. Uh Marie Cury. I didn't know she was a wonder kid. She was

I thought she was old as hell when she when she invent penicellin. She invented something.

Yeah, I think discovered God I think antibiotics radioactivity. Oh, radio pioneering research on radioactivity which

okay so she I also thought maybe she did the red cross. No, I think that's um what is the point of

it's like a Jon of Arc name. I think red obviously not Jon of Arc, but I think it's like

Clarissa Harlo Barton Barton. Maybe she's related. I'm Dave Buttons. Okay. Well, I don't know why anyone goes to school because I obvious

Yeah. And obviously I remember nothing. Me too. And I think she invented penicellin.

And I think she invented the Red Cross. Uh, I was thinking of Florence Nightingale. Who's Florence Nightingale?

She's a She's a Jon of Archet type. Isn't Florence Nightingale something about medicine and medical

English statistician? Oh, but the founder of modern nursing. Ma, there we go. Founder of Ma modern nursing.

More nursing. Oh my god. Um, okay. Well, there's a lot of other Picasso. He was a kid. It says it says that um your favorite guy von Noman.

Oh yeah. But he's like the definition of a von kid. Like solving math problems no one can solve at 12 years old.

Yeah. Yeah. But he [ __ ] delivered. He's like one of the rare ones that delivered.

But he also died. Yanu Shioon Nyoman. Mhm. And Bobby Fischer. Speaking of chess. Wonder Crazy Doc.

Yeah. I want to watch that. I need to remember. There's some other people. Doogie,

Douglas Hower. Yeah. Oh, Ronan Pharaoh. Yeah. Yeah. Ronan, famous wonder. All right. Well, that's it.

Okay. Well, that was fun. We asked more questions than we answered, which is my favorite kind of fact.

Yeah, that's always good. Okay. Love Malala. Love Malala. Yeah. Love Wonder. Yeah, Wonder. Bye. Love you.

Love you.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Intruder Plan, Malala Yousafzai, Manifest Destiny | Fact Check for Malala Yousafzai"?

In order: 0:00 Little Joy, Quarter Sheets, Dodger Stadium, Flonnie; 5:00 morbid curiosity; 15:00 Best Dead, fire safety week, Wonder; 20:00 Ashley Anne, Narcissism, Parasocial Relationship, Peter Kraza; 25:00 Houston, Best Boy Award, Beverly Hills, Capitol Grill; 35:00 Wonder, Arizona, chess grandmaster, Santa Barbara; 40:00 Wonder, Bobby Fischer, Dave Buttons, Florence Nightingale.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

61 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Wonder, Joan of Arc, John von Neumann, spittoon, Little Joy, Quarter Sheets. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Intruder Plan, Malala Yousafzai, Manifest Destiny | Fact Check for Malala Yousafzai"?

The episode runs 43 min; the transcript is about 8,452 words in 286 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 21, 2025.