Transcript

Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 42 min · 8,146 words · 254 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published December 8, 2025 (42 min, about 8,146 words). It mentions 29 people, works and ideas, including Anthony Kiedis, secret turkey, Erica, Covenant House, Doan's Bakery.

What this episode is about

The discussion revolves around the embarrassment and self-consciousness individuals feel when listening to their own content, such as podcasts or songs, despite the personal pride that comes with creating something unique. The conversation highlights how this anxiety manifests in various situations, drawing parallels between personal creativity and the universal challenge of self-acceptance.

Key takeaways

  • Listening to your own podcast is the audio version of artist introspection: narcissistic or necessary?
  • Van Gogh may have cut off an ear, but he still gazed at his own wheat fields.
  • Podcast creators listening to their own shows is like actors watching their film scenes—both enlightening and ego-tickling.
  • Critiquing your work post-launch: the critical artist's paradox between self-improvement and self-inflicted torture.
  • Artistic perfectionism: creator's curse or driving force? Depends if you're relishing or revising.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 15:00: Memorial Day
  2. – 20:00: Friendsgiving
  3. – 25:00: secret turkey
  4. – 30:00: Artifact Uprising, Big Vinnie, Callie, Penis bong
  5. – 35:00: Amazon, Covenant House, Abraham Newman, Alison Roman
  6. – 40:00: Covenant House, Woodland Hills
  7. – 41:39: Sold out

Notable quotes from "Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again"

  • Too. He'll go he'll go, You are in such a good mood in Nashville over Memorial Day. And I'll go, Oh, thank you. And then I'm as opposed to Why is this worth me?
    about Memorial Day · at
  • Do you think you can evaluate this year's secret turkey independent of your own gift you gave? Oh, I'm only asking because you happen to crush this year. Oh, you don't even mean to tell you that. It was.
    about secret turkey · at
  • We ran into him early trick-or-treating and he was very nice to Vinnie and I had no idea until now.
    about Big Vinnie · at
  • It's I'm going to shout it out. Artifact Uprising is the brand. Obviously, Callie told me about this cuz she has the best taste. And it's really It's like printed on the paper. The pictures are printed.
    about Artifact Uprising · at
  • Going out to see a comedy show at Largo, and we had walked by this bong store, and in the window is this enormous penis bong, right?
    about Penis bong · at
  • Drank so much wine. We did and I lived to go get it on the motorcycle and everyone would time me and I was constantly trying to beat my time. But all the time I'm walking out…
    about motorcycle · at
  • It's kind of like the penis from White Elephant that ended up ultimately looking like a beautiful Christmas tree.
    about White Elephant · at
  • They asked if we want to be involved and I very much wanted to be involved because the Covenant House which has a mission to help youth and young families throughout the…
    about Covenant House · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Anthony Kiedis — Person · 10 mentions
  • Erica — Person · 5 mentions
  • Guy Fieri — Person · 2 mentions
  • Big Vinnie — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Callie — Person · 1 mention · first at
    It's I'm going to shout it out. Artifact Uprising is the brand. Obviously, Callie told me about this cuz she has the best taste. And it's really It's like printed on the paper.…
  • Abraham Newman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    New my friend Newman from Detroit. I don't know how the hell she found out about Newman. She asked Aaron.
  • Alison Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Is a cookbook. There's multiple options here, but I'm obviously going to recommend Allison Roman's new cookbook.
  • JJ — Person · 1 mention
  • John and Jen — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

  • Something from Nothing — Book · 1 mention · first at
    It just came out. It's called Something from Nothing. It's beautiful and delicious.

Companies & orgs

  • Doan's Bakery — Company · 3 mentions
  • Artifact Uprising — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Francis May — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. like a lac cruset or a stab beautiful cookware or I also like this idea. There's a company called Francis May. It's a store in Portland and they have ornaments on their…
  • Goldbelly — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

Places & events

  • Woodland Hills — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Exactly. White. It's a white chocolate coconut bun cake and apparently Oh, and it's from a bakery in Woodland Hills called Dones. Dones or Don?

Sponsors

  • Amazon — Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    So, Amazon has this incredible thing called forgiving Tuesday. Right.

Full transcript with timestamps

I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong.

Okay. Something huge happened that I doubt you know happened and I I didn't notice it had happened.

Okay. Commenters called it out and then I had to go back. Just now you walked into my house.

Yes. And you overheard me listening to our show. Yes. Which in any other circumstance is very embarrassing.

Yep. Right. Like what if a friend popped by knock and you're like, "Yeah, hold on." And you had it really plain loud so you could hear it in the shower. Would you be so humiliated?

You know, it's funny you bring this up because I have a post maybe forthcoming or might be out by the time that this comes out. Um for a brand. Yeah.

And I use that as a joke. Oh, you do? Me listening to my own show. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. And you used it as a joke because it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Yeah.

Which is interesting, isn't it? Well, like in some way I could say if a musician listened to their own song, duh. Like they wrote the song they want to hear. That's their idea of what a beautiful sound to their ears is. They made it.

Why wouldn't they want to hear it just cuz they made it? Well, like it's kind of like when I've been a little embarrassed laughing at my own jokes at like a movie premiere.

Yeah. But then I go like, "Well, I made the joke I thought was funniest on that day. That's something I think is really funny, which is why I said it.

Okay, look, I think that's very pure. I'm feeling very defensive. As someone who laughs at their own jokes and listens to their own show occasionally,

most people have a hard time non-goomaniacs. I'm just going to say most people, okay, most people have a hard time listening back to their own voice or also um they critic like it'd be hard for a lot of people to hear their song that they wrote and not be like that. Yeah.

Sure. Sure. But let's say like you're Van Gogh. You do that field of wheat. That was

I cover my ear. You covered your ear. That's good. You're getting into character. Yeah. Yeah. You're getting into character, which is what I asked. Yes.

So, you're a Van Go and you dreamt up the most beautiful image of this uh wheat field.

Okay. And then you actually got that image from your head onto the canvas the exact way you imagined this fantasy.

Yeah. Of course, you'd want to stare at it. You were inspired by it. It was the image that you most wanted to see and then you've created it. So, like why wouldn't you look at it?

I mean, I agree with you in theory for the painter. Yeah. You almost got to go artist by artist.

Well, no. I like if the artist did not like if the artist also was just staring and not unable to look away like I would be like

that's like getting caught in your own reflection. There's some myth about that.

We're not good at um parables. I think it maybe it speaks to pure art where you're not doing it for other people, you're doing it for yourself.

So that's the nicest way to look at it. Yeah. How about this? You here are your two um binary options. The artist had this beautiful image in their head. They got it out and they just love looking at it because there's this thing they dreamt up and it's so pleasing and comforting.

Yeah. First is what they really love to do is stand in the gallery and watch people look at the painting and then get this inflated sense of ego that they're impressed by you. Like that's weirdly worse. Well, I just think most, and maybe this is not true at all, but in my head, most people who create, I might be projecting, are like perfectionists.

Yeah, maybe that's not true. I think it's whatever normal layout distribution. Yeah.

Of all personalities. I've just never ever done anything where I think it's perfect in my entire life. So if I'm listening back or looking back or reading back or something, I I only see the things that could be better.

So I see that and that's kind of my internal argument of why I do it cuz look, I feel guilty there. Well, there's a couple things that happen where I'll listen to the show. A is like we have a guest I'm genuinely interested in.

Yeah. But I was quite busy trying to conduct this interview and as much as I'm hearing them, I I'm not experiencing them

as I would as an audience member. Yeah. and I want to. It's like I love David Letterman. I'll listen to any podcast he'd ever be on.

Right. So, I do want to now listen to him and just ignore that I'm there. Yeah.

That's one motivation that I'll take there. Yeah. And then my other defense is we need downloads.

I've certainly gotten better because I listen to the show. Well, that I think is great. I think it's very smart for you to listen. Um I Let's I do listen. You do listen. I have to listen. Um, and maybe that's also, you know, this is one of those things. It's like,

it's like, did the job make you who you are or are you good at the job because of who you were to begin with?

Yes. Um, I'm so critical, right? And I But I have to be I was going to say you're entering at a phase of the um process that being critical is required.

It's required. It's like so nitpicky, but you rarely will ever listen to it after you just can't get through it.

Well, who can blame? But again, no, like sometimes I will have to for a certain reason or something or like, oh [ __ ] we have to go back and I have to make another edit in here and then I am like, oh no, I want to make another edit here. I want I can't do it.

It's not It's not And it's Look, I don't have time. I'm on to the next edit. I don't have I can't I'm off. Keep it moving. Um, anyway, what happened? What did we get correct?

That was a lot of That was a long walk for the listener. I apologize. You sang?

Yeah, I I I You clocked that. Yeah, I clocked it. First eight years I've been asking you to sing on here, you have refused and the good Lord intervened

for Christmas. The Lord intervened. WAIT, YOU YES. YOU SANG I AM A SE. I am a se. And you sang it, Bonnie. And I that's I went back and I listened today because I saw so many comments. I'm like, "She did sing, didn't she?" Or, "When did she sing?"

Oh, wow. And then I listen and it's so pretty. You do a great job singing that song incorrectly.

Spelling Christian A I N. Listen, I I um I don't want people to think that's how I sound singing. That was

They should. It sounded beautiful. Well, that's really nice. Do you want to hear it?

No, I I do not. And I You didn't even know that better than that. We didn't know that happened.

We didn't even know because I don't think that wasn't singing. That was me putting That was me like doing a half.

That was just a rhythm. You could ask a seven-year-old what just happened if you played the clip. They go, "Oh, that girl sang." Like even a child would know you sang.

Oh, yeah. This is interesting cuz now I feel like now I need people to know what my voice really sounds like.

Great. Even better. Why don't you work on a song for the next few weeks? No. And then come in and sing the hell out of it.

No. Is there a song you sing in your real life along to the radio that you think you nail?

I think you know what mine is. Um Billy Joel, for whatever reason, I think I can match him note fornotee. I mean, I'm smart enough to know that's not happening,

but I feel in my body. I'm like, "Oh, yeah. He and I have the exact same range."

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I do. Captain Jack will get you high tonight. That wasn't I didn't pick my ideal moment.

You haven't I got to hear it. You got to Yeah. Okay. So, I do This is so egotistical.

Great. Um I Taylor, this is like This is like when Kristen thinks she can play all the Olympic sports.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is like that where I kind of feel Mhm. like you could be most pop stars. No, it's only when there I'm singing along. I cannot do it if I'm just on my own singing. I get way too self-conscious,

right? But if I am a song's playing in the car. Yes. I feel I'm pretty really really good.

Really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say pretty good cuz I know you cuz again I objectively your voice singing voice is really truly 10x of what mine is. I'm sure like if a computer analyzed it and I'm telling you that I think I sing Billy Joel like 88% as good as him when I'm in the car.

Yeah. So you probably feel like you might even sound better if you're being really honest with the audience.

Like oh my god I could be a superstar. What am I doing in this stupid car? Sometimes sometimes I'll get I'll get a little validation.

Okay. Um from Who do you sing in front of? Well, I'm in the car with Jess a lot.

Okay, great. And every now and and I get I think I feel comforted because I don't think anyone can hear me

because you can really only hear the radio. Yes. Or the whatever Spotify, whatever it is, whatever's playing.

And I think no one can hear me but me. But really, even passengers in the car, right?

That's a crazy thought, I guess. I think because it's matched so perfectly. Oh, right. That's imperceptible.

Yeah. You're just like, "Oh, there's a there's a fifth speaker in the car." Yeah.

And every now and then, Jess will tell you, "You did a nice job." He's just like,

he's like mad that it's so good. Oh, wow. Good. That's a That's the real compliment if you make him mad.

And one time I was at a a bar in Palm Springs, a gay bar that plays musical theater. It's Erica's favorite bar.

Mhm. So sometimes on Fourth of July, we'll go as a po as the group and um it's so loud in there. Same situation. It's no one could possibly hear me singing. And I guess that's not true because Ryan was like, "Oh my god, you can sing."

Wait, you were just singing sitting at the bar or you went on stage. Playing musical theater so loud on all the TVs

and you just start singing along. Yeah, cuz it's everyone's singing. It's just like loud and that's the point of the bar.

Thank you. It's a sing along. Yes. Okay. I thought you were just at the bar. No.

On TV, some musical theater's playing and you're like, "No, Oklahoma." Whatever the theme song is, Oklahoma, give me an okay Oklahoma.

Anywh who, so I got a compliment there and I felt good about it. Yeah. And um Yeah. But if

Do you ever not trust Ryan? And I know he listens, but I I don't mind that he hears this. Do you ever not trust Ryan? cuz he's so nice and he's so kind. You do?

Yeah. I He'll say nice things to me and I'm like, "God, I want to believe that so bad, but you're so nice. I don't know if I can trust that."

Um, well, your nose is so small. Each compliment's individual. Yeah, just be aware of it. Clock it.

No, I don't want to. I want to be able to take that. Okay, that's the right way to do it. I just sometimes I think he can't really think that, you know, it's just insecurity. Well,

and he's so nice. Whereas like if Eric gives you a compliment, you know he means it cuz it's terrible and he's ruined your day.

He says the meanest compliments to you, but they're truly compliments. Like he's attempting and he's putting his foot in his mouth so it doesn't go well and then I go, "Now that's a genuine compliment. It hurt the person's feelings."

Yeah. Sure. Um, I don't want him to ever give me any more. Folks, some of the compliments he's given you. And look, before you even say it, let me tell you that I know personally from Eric, he thinks you're really pretty.

He does. He thinks you're really pretty and he's obsessed with your feet. Yeah.

So, let's just start that. That's how he feels about you. He's never said he's never given me any classic Eric horrible compliments about my feet. He They're always very positive.

Okay. Okay. And he get he lands those regular. Yes. All right. So, hit us with a couple of his compliments.

Um, most of his compliments are about my skin. Oh, okay. Which we know. I It's triggering. It's very sensitive. I

literally and figuratively. Yeah. I have extremely sensitive skin and my feelings about my skin are very sensitive.

I Your skin looks great. Thank you. And that's an Eric compliment, not a Ryan compliment. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

I don't know what I don't want to give Ryan a complime I love Ryan. Ryan listen

he's he truly is the sweetest. He's the sweetest and he is so nice. But I've heard him say mean things like I I don't think every it's not like I think he's a bunch of [ __ ] No, he's just so nice.

So, yeah. So, he often will tell me like, "My skin looks really nice. Um, can you believe it? It used to look so bad." No, no, no, no. There was There's a couple very specific ones I'm thinking of. Like, you came over with makeup on, maybe.

Okay, this is the original one. I was in glam. It wasn't just regular makeup. I was in full glam to be on camera.

Yeah. To be on camera. didn't look how anyone should look just walking around. And he said, "Oh my god, you look so pretty. Why don't you wear more makeup? How will you get a boyfriend if you don't wear makeup?" That's what he said.

Okay. That was the original one. But he since has given me some like really ones that that actually haunt me.

Oh, really? Yes. Oh, no. Okay, then this isn't very fun. I thought this was more fun than it was he'll kill himself. kill himself. So, I can't really go there cuz he does love me. I know he

he loves you so much and he thinks you're very pretty. I don't know about that, but it's okay.

He does. He does. He does. He's told me independently in a less clunky way. Well, you know, he gives me compliments that are like that, too. He'll go like, um, he'll go, "You are in such a good mood in Nashville over Memorial Day." And I'll go, "Oh, thank you." And then I'm like, as opposed to like, "Why is this worth me?"

And I'll go, "Was there a period that you thought I wasn't in a good mood?" go like, "Well, you seem really stressed the week in the summertime."

And so it's like, "You were in such a good mood." Then I just go, "Oh, so he thought I was in a bad mood. I'm like rough to be around sometimes." And so yeah, he does it to me. It's just not about my looks, which would sting deeper. They sting the deep. That's the That's That's hard. He also said um he said on on thanks our or Thanksgiving our friendsgiving pod giving um he said no you should drink you're more fun when you drink and I was like what and he said no no you're just like you're less like and I know I know he wanted to say uptight and I and and I was like well do you mean like I'm less vigilant I'm paying attention articulate that. And he was like, "Yeah." And I'm like, "Yeah, you would like that."

Right. Right. And then you popped in then you said, "Yeah, you're just you're just less sharp." And that was you were trying to make it nicer.

Trying to help. I guess you were. Well, I didn't help. Um, no, you did. Is there a way to say to somebody like, "What if you do think someone's more fun when they drink?"

Yeah. And so they're like, "I don't know if I should drink." And you're like, "I'd prefer you drink." How do you say that in a way that doesn't make the person feel like they're not fun when they don't drink? Because you could really just be saying you go from an A to an A+. I mean, that could be the reality.

Well, if it's an A to an A+, then you shouldn't say anything. It's only you should only say something if it's an F to an A+. If it's really like, oh [ __ ] this is like a horrible person to be around.

You're like, I'm thinking about brushing my teeth. And like you should, you're like, oh [ __ ] my breath always smells. And that and they should know that. Is that an example? Say, "Oh [ __ ] I got to run upstairs and brush my teeth before we go."

Oh, you know what? I got to go brush my teeth before we Oh my god. Oh, great. Good. Good.

I don't think I'm mentally prepared for this right now. Okay, I'll do it. Okay.

Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna quickly go throw some deodorant on. Oh god. Okay. Yeah, that's how I would do it.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, I what I what I What did you gather?

I gathered that you don't think I need it. Oh, yeah. Tell me you're going to go put

So subtle in my eyes. You go tell me you're going to go put your some deodorant on.

Oh, you know what? I'm going to go put some deodorant on before I before we do this.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's that is I don't think you need it. Listen, I am hyper sensitive

Mhm. to you. Okay. I don't have to be hyper sensitive to Eric because he just says stuff.

Yeah. But if you said that what you just did Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would know.

Yes. I would know. I'd be like, "Oh, and vice versa." I worked with someone. Oh.

And the person I could not help but go like, "What a genius [ __ ] road they staked out for themselves."

They're like, "You never know when he's going to be here." What's that mean? Like the the the the just the overall vibe is like

he doesn't take anything serious. And it's it's charming, right? And it's kind of genius cuz no one's ever upset. Like if if this person shows up a day late for your party, you're like, "This [ __ ] guy rolled in a day." You think it's so funny.

Wow. There are people that are too dumb to even know they're that way. Yeah. And then there's a handful of people you're like, "This guy's a thousand times smarter than he's acting and he gets away with murder because everyone has assessed him."

Yeah. You can kind of see him jumping off on Eric. Like Eric started this this wonderful thing. That's the difference between how you would take something he says and what I say. Like I've I've kind of claimed this. Oh, I'm dependable and responsible.

Yeah. And when I act crazy, it's uncomfortable and disruptive. Sure. And Eric leads with I'm a I'm a loose cannon.

Yes. And so no ma if you looked over and saw Eric naked at Thanksgiving standing on the [ __ ] island with a putting a turkey drumstick up his ass.

You wouldn't like wonder if he had relapsed or if he had lost his mind, right? If Erica did that, you'd be like, "Oh, we got to take her to the hospital immediately. She's had a mental collapse." So like you build in you build in this huge latitude of acceptance if you just lead with it and then you you just live with whatever

the downsides. Okay, that this is interesting. I think Eric rides the line well.

Oh, perfectly. But he in general that type of not his personality but this one you're saying like oh cuz

this other person Eric is reliable. For sure. For sure. Exact. Yeah. I'm not attributing any of those aforementioned attributes to Eric, only Eric's craziness.

Right. Right. Right. But like if someone is unreliable or like, oh, like we'll see if they come or

that to me is a defense mechanism of them. Okay. A non-committal, like a refusal to commit

to people, things, anything. Cuz you don't want to be likeonsible. Exactly. So I could only be very very distant friends with someone like that. I could never really have someone like that in my life who I

like called dear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's the fallout. I don't know how many intimate relationships you could really really have.

Well, no. This these people I'm describing, they do totally fine. They do. Yes. In the same way that like but like addicts, you know, people are attracted to why why be attracted to addict? They're a [ __ ] time bomb and it's a pain in the ass and blah blah blah blah blah. So someone who might love the goofy guy who rolls in whenever could never date an addict.

Yeah, maybe. And then you would never want to date this unpredictable, you know.

Yeah, I I mean more it's not I guess what I'm saying is there's an ass for every seat. The pe the person I'm talking about has a lot of options.

Okay. But I I don't know how fulfilling those relationships are because if he if this person can't arrive on time

decide decide that this is important whatever this is whether it's the person the job the whatever like

that's really hard that's a hard life like you have to make some decisions about things you have to make some

for you and I it'd be really hard and for some people it wouldn't be hard at all

yeah I guess that's True. Speaking of Eric, yeah, let's also say we there's nobody we love more than Eric.

Everyone in America would be so lucky to have Eric as a best friend. Oh my god. I know. We're all We're so lucky. And that is what I'm getting at. So he So we had Secret Turkey.

Mhm. Which is the best day of the year. It's so beautiful. It's just the most gets better.

It gets better and better. I thought this year was the best one. And like it just really fills my heart. warms the cockals.

It really does. Everyone just taking time out of their busy busy busy lives to make something for someone

and it's all so thoughtful. Now, when I ask Can I ask a question that potentially is triggering?

Yeah. Do you think you can evaluate this year's secret turkey independent of your own gift you gave? Oh, I'm only asking because you happen to crush this year. Oh, you you don't even mean to tell you that. It was it was unanimous in the group that you had slayed this year.

Oh, that's really nice. So, do you think it's it's possible to eval like for me if I crushed

I don't even know if I'd be able to evaluate how the rest of the thing went cuz I would just be so excited I crushed.

No, I do. I I You can do both. I just saw like, you know, everyone came in. We did it at the Richardsons and everyone, you know, bring brought their little gift in and put it on the table and I was just staring at that table like, oh my god, this is

it's a physical embodiment of so much care and love and it's all everyone wrapped their thing and I don't know. I just I it's so beautiful to me and and then it was like it's time for secret turkey and everyone goes and picks up their present and w and like looks so stupid carrying their stupid present into the the room and it's just so sweet. Um but yeah, so Eric had me

Yes. and he got me the best gift. That's it was so thoughtful. So on my birthday, I think we maybe talked about it on a fact check. On my birthday, Eric came wearing this like shirt, this shirt of his. It was like a family heirloom shirt.

Well, it was the his his high school business he started, which was hauling junk away from people's houses.

Yeah. And it was this really cool shirt. It was yellow. It was vintage. Probably from 88. He's 5 years older than me.

I know. I think 87. Oh, possibly. cuz I was like that's when I was born and I got really excited about this shirt and I asked if I could have it

the shirt off his back. You did the old proverbial asked for a shirt off his back.

Literally asked if I could have the shirt off his back and um he there it's a one it's a one of one. There's not another.

And he said no. Good for him. I know. I'm actually blown away he said no. I'm shocked too.

Yeah. He said no because he has to give it to his kids. Right now that hurt, but I had to accept it. If you say you're giving it to your kids, it's like h I guess I have to accept it.

Kryptonite. Yeah. But it hurt just like the way his compliments hurt. Sure. And for Secret Turkey, he had the shirt remade for me.

Few copies, right? Yeah. Different colors. Yeah. A couple colors, couple sizes so I can grow into it. And it was so so sweet.

You should wear it on the next fact check. I will. Okay, I will. Yeah. Um it's it was so so sweet. And then

you gave though our um Ryan. Yes. So on Halloween. Okay. I guess we have to we have to on Halloween

someone ended up in our house. Someone ended up in your house that was new. I mean I know how they did. It was friends of a friend

and um and it was Anthony Ketus from Red Hot Chili Peppers. What was better though is he was a zombie.

No, like a mummy. Yeah. So there's just a mummy in the house. And then at some point he said, "Can to to someone he was with like, can you help me get this tape off my face?" Basically,

his entire face was obscure. Yeah. And then it was a big reveal. It was Anthony Ketus and

it was powerful. I wasn't here for this, but it rippled. It rippled. I was outside, so I actually did never made contact with Anthony. No.

Okay. We ran into him early trick-or-treating and he was very nice to Vinnie and I had no idea until now.

How could you? You're just a nice mommy. Nice mummy. Um, but Ryan, I've never seen him react.

And you've seen him around a lot of celebrities. Oh, yeah. He doesn't care. He himself is an actor. So,

but he was like so starruck and could not keep it together and he like kept offering to take out the trash so he could walk by him and it was so cute and he kept he came outside. He was like Anthony Anthony Kus is here.

Yeah. He's like I can't he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he was there. Yeah.

Yes. And then the next day we were watching the Dodgers game and he brought up Anthony Ketus like many many times and it was clear this really had an impact on him. Anyway, I made a photo album. It's a beautiful photo album. It's I'm going to shout it out. Artifact Uprising is the brand. Obviously, Callie told me about this cuz she has the best taste. And it's really It's like printed on the paper. The pictures are printed on the like thick card stock pages. It's beautifully. It's like bound and and you can

eng Whatever What's it called? I guess um on the front. Anyway, so I asked Amy for 20 pictures of her and Ryan,

their most loveydovey, cute pictures over the years. Mhm. And I had Anthony Ketus' face photoshopped over Amy's face on all the

But I got to say, even way better than that, the book is presented to him and it says the story of RNA.

The f the front says R plus A and on the side it says a love story. a love story. So clearly everyone in the room is like, "How cute. It's a Ryan and Amy love story." A for Amy.

Yep. And then he opens it up and discovered it's A for Anthony. That's right. It's great. You know what's great about not only it's it it's great in its concept and execution, but then you also got to factor in like Ryan, not unlike myself, has had so many bonkers looks over the years. Yes.

There's almost So, there's also so much comedy and just seeing Ryan at 16 and then 21 and then imagining him with Anthony that whole time.

Yes. It's great. There's a picture of Amy and Ryan kissing and Amy's pregnant, but it's Anthony and it's it's fantastic.

Like, and if Ryan is listening, a I think you're way better looking than me. You know that. I think you're one of the cutest guys.

Are you going to give an Eric compliment? I'm going to say that he had a few years of his life where he looked like Guy Fiery.

Oh, sure. He had a haircut. He had a very specific hairstyle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um so to see Guy Fury wrapped around Anthony Ketus is pretty funny. It was It was a fun one. And but I was scary cuz I didn't think it was going to come in time. I had to reach out and I was like and I had to say, "Look, we have this tradition. It's this. It's really meaningful. I don't know if you can rush it." And they were like, "We're going to try." Um and they did it for me and it was really nice, but I had to have a backup. Oh, so you have a secondary tertiary.

I just own a photo album of pictures. It's like not nearly as good. It's just pictures.

Coffee table book in one of your rooms in your house. Consider it. Yeah. The present I gave was just fine. There was no fine, but the payoff ended up being really funny, which just happened, which is

Molly and Eric and I were with Larry Trilling and Jen, his wife, and we were going out to see a comedy show at Largo, and we had walked by this bong store, and in the window is this enormous penis bong,

right? And I said to Molly, you know, you should really think about if you're ever going to smoke weed, that might be a good starter pipe for you. So, we have this long joke about this pipe and it's obnoxious and blah blah blah. So, then we went into the theater and then I said I had to go to the bathroom and then I went back to the bong shop and bought that penis. Yes. Then I was like, I never ever know of anything.

That's fantastic. That was very thoughtful. Hit it in the truck. So, anyways, I then decorated this huge glass penis bong. I'm going to back up. Often all through co we had this thing where you guys drank so much wine. We did

and I lived to go get it on the motorcycle and everyone would time me and I was constantly trying to beat my time. But all the time I'm walking out of the store with like six bottles of wine in my hand and it crosses my mind like oh what I what have a paparazzi photo and so of course I'm standing at the counter buying this big [ __ ] ball

and I'm like you know is this something that gets out right? So then I decorated it. Uh around the balls I made it like um earth and grass and I actually glued like some foliage to it. And then the the [ __ ] I made a big candy cane.

Yeah, you made it Christmy. I made it Christmy to the point where you don't even really know what you're looking at. So anyways, the the present's fine. It was I would give it a six. But Molly sent me a picture yesterday. The housekeeper

put it arranged it with all the Christmas decorations. Of course, she came home and it was just on display with their normal Christmas decorations

as it should be. And that made me really happy. It's kind of like um the penis from from White Elephant that ended up ultimately looking like a beautiful Christmas tree.

Yes. Cockad drawers. Cockad drawers. It was Yeah. Dick drawers. Yeah. Dick of drawers. Dick drawers.

Anyway, um Yeah. No, it was great. Everyone did such a beautiful job. Erica made me an incredible that game, Guess Who.

Yes. Uh if you've not played it, you like get to give clues like this person would have fallen down after lunch. You pick a nerd. I don't know.

Uh and she made it with all special people from my world. And she did a lot of work, too. She because she had to She doesn't know everyone I'm so close to.

She got like pane. Yes. All childhood. New my friend Newman from Detroit. I don't know how the hell she found out about Newman. She asked Aaron.

She must have talked to Aaron. Yeah, that's so sweet. Yeah. But this is what But that's so thoughtful. Like someone took the time to find out my closest friends from my whole life.

I know. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's a lovely thing. I would encourage people to get into Secret Turkey.

I think Lily should start a business where she like um comes in and and eventes and makes things like really memorable for your party.

I agree. I think it' be a cool business. I agree. Um okay. Uh, real quick, I'm going to give one present idea. I think a great thing to get somebody who cooks is a cookbook. There's multiple options here, but I mean, I'm obviously going to recommend Allison Roman's new cookbook. It just came out. It's called Something from Nothing. It's beautiful and delicious. and als or you could go the route of finding out their favorite restaurant and often restaurants have their own cookbook. A lot of restaurants do or like you know their favorite restaurant in New York might have a cookbook or something.

Get that and then you pair that. I'm into pairings. Okay. So, you pair your cookbook with either, depending on your budget, a um nice like la cruset pan or pot or stop.

I got Kristen a wicked lac cruset. Oh, for Christmas. And I wouldn't normally be saying that out loud, but it got shipped to Nashville and she unwrapped it.

Oh, so she got it early. Yeah. like a a lac cruset or a um stab beautiful cookware or I also like this idea. There's a company called Francis May. It's a store in Portland

and they have ornaments on their site that are so cute. They have like a parmesan cheese rind or a pomodoro sauce. There's like food ornaments that are very, very, very cute. So, I think you could get that and pair it with your cookbook.

Yes. And that's a great gift. Great. I love it. And on this topic, Monica, yes.

I would like to tell everyone about a wonderful thing we're participating in this year.

So, Amazon has this incredible thing called forgiving Tuesday. Right. Yeah. and uh it's for the holidays and they asked if we want to be involved and I very much wanted to be involved because the Covenant House which has a mission to help youth and young families uh throughout the holiday season. Amazon has created a charity list where you can purchase items that the Covenant House has specifically requested. And the best part is everything you get gets shipped directly to them and there are multiple different people participating. Cynthia Revo is doing it. She has her everyone gets to pick a charity. So, um, mine is Covenant House, and I would love for everyone who's inclined to to go participate. And if you want to help, what you can do is go to amazon.com/holidaygiving to learn more about Amazon's holiday giving campaign and how you can participate. Every gift, no matter how small, can make a real difference in

someone's life. So, yes, just go to amazon.com/holidaygiving to learn more. And if you're interested in Covenant House, um, they're active 247 in 34 cities across five countries. and they're just a wonderful group to

I love this. I'm going to participate. Please participate and anyone who's inclined to and has a little extra, go there and send some real essentials to the Covenant House and that would be great.

Beautiful. All right, let's do some facts. Let's do some facts. Okay, Jake. Oh,

what? JJ, wait. This is creeps. What happened? This is definitely that my computer's listening.

Okay, cuz I typed in Oh, no. Never mind. Oh, it's not listening. It's not listening. Can't hear anything.

Okay. There's a cake. This is the only fact we have for today. Tom Cruz cake. Oh, the cake he gives out for Christmas.

Yeah. Yeah. And I've heard about this before. This is like lore. Legendary cake.

A goal in life is to eat this cake. Oh, is to eat it? That should be easy. Just ask Jake when he gets sent it this Christmas.

I don't want to eat Jake's cake. Why? Because that's his cake. No, that's his cake for him to eat with his family.

So, you're saying you have to You're only going to eat one when he sends you one? Oh, that's that's not

That's a goal. Why can't that be a goal? Well, those are two different goals. Like, that just sounds like a goal of getting a present from Tom Cruz. And then another goal should be I want to try this cakey sentence to everybody.

Both. It could be both. Yeah. But you might deny yourself half of the riddle, which would be enjoyable, which is tasting this famous cake.

Okay. If you're holding out to become friends with Tom, I don't need to be friends with him.

I think you got to be friends with him to receive a cake from him. I don't know. Maybe

it's not like everyone he shakes hands with, he sends this cake to. Maybe he wants to send me this cake.

Should I reach out to I just got a a contact for someone in his world. Yeah. To beg him to come on the show.

Yeah. Should I send a request for the cake? No. No. Only if he comes on. Well, I will say if he doesn't if he doesn't want to come on, I understand. Can I still have one of the cakes?

Sure. Okay. And then that kind of satisfies your criteria. Yeah, that's true. Yes. He has sent it

to us. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. White. It's a white chocolate coconut bun cake and apparently Oh, and it's from a bakery in Woodland Hills called Dones. Dones or Don?

D O A N. Yeah. Do you know it? No. I saw on the image that Rob just put up. I saw Dones.

Yeah. And he sends it to a long list of celebrity friends. I wonder how many it is at this point. I mean, I feel like it's a thousand cakes. Can you imagine Doan who owns this bakery is like okay

Tom's orders coming up like you know how you're feeling fry they like they have to deal with Tom's. So that's my question is

what are the logistics of this cuz you can't bake a thousand cakes in one morning unless they have the biggest factory in California. I know

which they don't. No. So, are they making them, you know, who gets the one they have to start making them probably five days ahead of time, right? Are they making 200 a day?

So, someone's getting one that was 5 days old and someone's getting one that's a few hours old.

Well, and I wonder if he has a flowing chart of priority. No, no. I bet he gives the list with some advance.

Yeah. And then it's like for two weeks are going out. Okay. They don't all have to drop.

Yeah. 9:00 a.m. Tom's look at you'll hear a knock at your door. Yeah. All thousand people at 9:00 a.m. And when you open it, they'll be holding a steamy cake.

It's like getting into college when you know it's like 9:00 a.m. You got to check and see if you got in.

It's like that. It's 9:00 a.m. on December 20th. If your door is knocked, you got a cake.

Should there be a whole movie about Tom Cruz's cakes? Cuz that's like um ticking time clock. It's got all the ingredients, pun intended.

Yes. For a great high stress doc. Just Oh, doc would be nice. I was thinking something fictionalized.

Can we make it so that we definitely get him? Then we definitely get the ones that fall cuz they got they have to account for like 4%

failure rate. So they're probably making these bunk cakes can collapse. Yeah. So they're making probably,50 of them.

Wow. In anticipation of dropage, leakage. How many people do we think we know who's had it? Obviously Jake.

Five. Jake. I feel like Kimmel has to receive one. Yeah, right. Probably. I guess anyone we know who's done a movie with everyone.

We should have asked Billy Crudup if he received a cake. Maybe not because of that Qard situation.

Exactly. Okay. This is a good test. Yes. Who gets the cake and who doesn't? Yeah.

My friend said they'd come the first week of December. Oh. So throughout the week they're going out.

First week of December. I'd like to see that push a little closer to Christmas.

No, but it's kind of nice. It's like December. It's starting. My cake is here. I'm in the mood. I'm in the season.

Um All right. Well, I that cake makes me hungry. And that's our Emily Blunt cake.

Oh, that's a cute for for um She gets one for sure. Yeah, but that's good for our Halloween mashup.

Oh, yeah. Emily Blunt Cake. Emily Blunt Cake. All right, that's it for Jake. That was everything. Yeah. Okay, that's the name of the cake.

You could order this cake from there. It's on Gold Belly, too, which means anyone can order it from you can get it. That's so that's why we're saying it. But I I bet the last the last couple weeks of November, early December, you're not going to be able to get it. are quote sold out because of Tom.

Yeah, you got to get that order in in June probably. Yeah. Well, anyway, let us know if you buy it.

Listeners, tell us how it tastes. All right. Okay. Bye. Love you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again"?

Dax Shepard (Host), Monica Padman (Host), Jake Johnson (Guest), Rob (last name unknown) (Guest).

What is "Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again" about?

The discussion revolves around the embarrassment and self-consciousness individuals feel when listening to their own content, such as podcasts or songs, despite the personal pride that comes with creating something unique. The conversation highlights how this anxiety manifests in various situations, drawing parallels between personal creativity and the universal challenge of self-acceptance.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

29 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Anthony Kiedis, secret turkey, Erica, Covenant House, Doan's Bakery, La Creuset. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Singing Miracle, Jake Johnson, Anthony Kiedis Love Story | Fact Check for Jake Johnson Returns Again"?

The episode runs 42 min; the transcript is about 8,146 words in 254 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 15, 2025.