Zooey Deschanel Returns | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

What this episode is about

Zooey Deschanel joins the conversation to discuss her new movie, "MV," which tells a heartfelt story about a couple dealing with the emotional fallout impacting their dog after their breakup. The hosts also express their admiration for Deschanel's talent and charm, highlighting her career in film and music.

Key takeaways

• Deschanel's new movie MV on Prime: the perfect watch for dog-loving holiday romantics.
• Ember mugs: combating lukewarm coffee one leisurely sip at a time, boosting thoughtful caffeine consumption.
• The infamous McDonald's coffee lawsuit: not frivolous, just a skin-saving saga.
• Bread love decoded: Mary Joe's loaves are no ordinary carbs; they signify heartfelt affection.
• In the wake of tragedy, sourdough starter rises: Deschanel's family rebuilding recipe includes warmth and Leica.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Dax Shepard (Host) · 55 min speaking
• Monica Padman (Host) · 30 min speaking
• Zooey Deschanel (Guest) · 30 min speaking
• Rob McElhenney (Guest) · 4 min speaking
• Kristen Bell (Guest)
• Jonathan Scott (Guest)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 15:00: Fancy Feast, Fancy Feast, Mary Jo, Fancy Feast
2. 15:00 – 30:00: True Crime, Christmas, Christmas, New Girl
3. 30:00 – 45:00: Christmas, Christmas, Jonathan King, ADHD
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00: Christmas, Christmas, Charlie Cox, Christmas Movie
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00: Christmas, Christmas, Leggings, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
6. 1:15:00 – 1:30:00: Christmas, Christmas, Waffle, Christmas Vacation
7. 1:30:00 – 1:45:00: candles, Christmas, Christmas, Elves
8. 1:45:00 – 2:00:00: Christmas, Christmas, Golden Globe, Hot Coffee
9. 2:00:00 – 2:01:25: Christmas, Christmas, Home Alone, click track

Notable quotes from "Zooey Deschanel Returns | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"

• Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have just one of the more adorable humans on planet Earth.

  about Armchair Expert · at 0:00

• Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode.

  about Audible · at 0:58

• I feel like we learned nothing from the fires because I thought like when it was happening I was like okay got to digitize everything got to make a you know a go bag. I didn't do anything.

  about New Girl · at 8:47

• We didn't have any. We just Jonathan insisted on driving each car out.

  about Jonathan King · at 9:39

• It does it's not conducive to people being able to focus. But the thing is ADHD isn't isn't a problem with being able to focus. It's it's actually it's it's sometimes it's focusing more than you should on things.

  about ADHD · at 39:57

• It's a dog movie, a romcom, and kind of like a little bit of a Christmas movie, too. So, it's kind of like all in one.

  about Christmas Movie · at 52:07

• Happy New Year. I just want to urge everyone to see MV December 10th on Prime Video. Check it out. Unless you're allergic to Adorable Dogs, romcom, or Christmas. If you're allergic to any of.

  about Zooey Deschanel · at 1:11:23

• It's so nice. It's the listeners. They're with they're loyal and we're so grateful and they keep us going.

  about Golden Globe · at 1:43:47

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Zooey Deschanel — Person · Main guest · 2 mentions · first at 0:12
  Primary interview subject — actor and musician promoting her new movie and discussing personal stories (family, parenting, ADHD, pets, holiday traditions).
• Zoe Deschanel — Person · Main guest · 1 mention · first at 0:12
  Primary interview subject discussing her new movie MV, her career, and personal life.
  Elf. Yes, man. And she has a new movie on Prime Video called MV.
• Dak Shepard — Person · Host · 1 mention · first at 0:02
  Episode host who leads the interview, asks questions and guides conversation.
  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have just one of the more adorable humans on planet Earth.
• Lily Padman — Person · Co-host / Co-interviewer · 3 mentions · first at 0:02
  Co-host who participates in the discussion, asks questions and shares anecdotes.
  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have just one of the more adorable humans on planet Earth.
• Jonathan King — Person · Mentioned individual · 7 mentions · first at 8:19
  Zooey Deschanel's husband discussed
• Stella Liebeck — Person · Referenced legal case subject · 1 mention · first at 1:52:41
  Discussed in conversation about the infamous McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit and documentary 'Hot Coffee'.
  An incredible documentary called Hot Coffee. It's about this woman, Zoe. Her entire thighs had to have skin grafts.
• Kristen — Person · Mentioned individual · 7 mentions · first at 5:18
  Dan Shepard's wife mentioned
  Stuff she hears. She's like always Okay. But I mean in the bread baking world like Kristen's still making a couple hundred loaves a day to hand out to people cuz it's still very impressive for people to receive a loaf from her.
• Jake Johnson — Person · Co-star · 3 mentions · first at 19:55
  Co-star in New Girl mentioned in the episode
  I love New Zealand. We were working in New Zealand. This is a huge ding. It just came up on last week's episode with your co-star Jake Johnson.
• Charlie Cox — Person · Co-star · 3 mentions · first at 48:22
  Co-star in Zooey Deschanel's new movie MV
  So, Charlie's character takes the dog on a beach vacation, but then I can't like let go.
• Judy Garland — Person · Referenced performer · 1 mention · first at 1:08:25
  Referenced as the original singer of 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' in Meet Me in St. Louis.
  Yeah. The crickets are Do you guys know where this song came from? Tell us.
• Curtis Duffy — Person · Referenced chef / friend · 1 mention · first at 1:21:09
  Referenced in the gifts/unboxing conversation and when discussing dining experiences; friend of hosts/guests.
  Oo, that's a good sign. This gift is in honor of friend of the pod, Curtis Duffy.
• Mary Jo — Person · Mentioned individual · 3 mentions · first at 4:45
  Friend who bakes bread mentioned
  But at that time, four years ago, Mary Joe was a huge fan.
• Gus — Person · 8 mentions
• Rachel Zoe — Person · 6 mentions
• Santa Claus — Person · 3 mentions · first at 54:56
  It's the context, but it's not about Santa Claus or elves or Christmas specific characters and it's not a Christmas specific plotline. just happens to have these like nice little cozy Christmas vibes. So that's.
• Jeffrey – Pagano, Joe — Person · 2 mentions · first at 4:36
  Yes. Okay. So, Mary Joe, this was my curiosity cuz I relisted to your episode today on a hike which is going on four years ago.
• Charlie Cox — Person · 2 mentions · first at 48:23
  A lot in between the cries. Yeah, I think you'll be getting excited for Charlie Cox.
• Calvin — Person · 2 mentions · first at 1:37:52
  Calvin and I are going to road trip from Tahoe to San Francisco.
• Elsie — Person · 2 mentions
• Zoe Des Chanel — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:12
  Charming, quirky, smart, talented, great singer. Zoe Des Chanel, an actor and a musician. New girl, 500 Days of Summer.
• Dr. Seuss — Person · 1 mention · first at 32:08
• Sophia Rob — Person · 1 mention · first at 35:53
  Yes. Anna, Sophia, Rob too. They were like the kids in this movie and I was You guys are so insanely professional. I think there's like the kids that are kid actors and like I.
• Fonzerelli — Person · 1 mention · first at 47:42
  He's acting like he's like Fonzerelli all of a sudden. Like I had maybe one good day at school or something. I was feeling myself.
• Charlie Wolf — Person · 1 mention · first at 51:26
  Names, so like when they were babies, they My daughter's Elsie Otter and my son's Charlie Wolf. And it was like nonstop wolves and otter. And I was and Elsie goes, That's not my favorite animal. And I was Well, that's a great animal.
• Jimmy Hendris — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:10:30
  Mhm. They didn't have you guys were talking about it and they don't Jimmy Hendris. He wasn't using click. He was using click. No, he didn't need his soul.
• Brad Hand — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:36:50
  I think Brad hand makes the buttons.
• Callie — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:38:41
  You're the next youngest from you. Okay. I don't even know how to pronounce it, but your friend Callie knows how to.
• Christy Alice — Person · 1 mention
• Sydney Kliger Dove — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• Hunger Games 2 — Book · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 30:06
  Book series mentioned in the context of Audible's best of 2025 collection.
  Curated list like this, I breathe a little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
• Hot Coffee — Book · 3 mentions · first at 3:24
  Oh, she was such a diva. Like this diva wants hot coffee and then they gave her hot coffee and she burned her.
• Sunrise on the Reaping — Book · 1 mention · first at 30:06
  Curated list like this, I breathe a little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
• Someday Now — Book · 1 mention · first at 30:10
  About. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
• A Christmas Carol — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:59:33
• The Grinch Who Stole Christmas — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:59:52
  That. It's It's 20 minutes and it's claimation. I love it, but you can't put that up against The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is way better.
• A Very She & Him Christmas — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Prime Video — Company · Distributor · 3 mentions · first at 0:17
  Platform distributing Zoe Des Chanel's new movie 'MV' (release referenced as Dec 10 on Prime Video).
  Happy New Year. I just want to urge everyone to see MV December 10th on Prime Video. Check it out. Unless you're allergic to Adorable Dogs, romcom, or Christmas. If you're allergic to any of.
• McDonald — Company · Referenced company (case study) · 3 mentions · first at 3:16
  Referenced in discussion of the McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit (Stella Liebeck case) and media portrayal of frivolous lawsuits.
  The settlement we all heard about was the jury going, No, no, we need to punish McDonald's at least one day of coffee sales. So they added up what they made in a one day of coffee sales,.
• She and Him — Company · Referenced company · 2 mentions · first at 59:41
  Mentioned in the context of the guest's music project and Christmas album.
  Yeah. And I was listening to She and Him's Christmas. A Merry Christmas.
• Netflix, Inc. — Company · Platform · 2 mentions · first at 20:42
  Mentioned in the context of streaming content
  I love that. Remember how good the staircase was? You had to order the DVDs from Netflix and it took a long time.
• Levi's — Company · Referenced brand · 1 mention · first at 1:37:32
  Mentioned in the context of personal style and gifts.
  It says Levis's on the front. That's Levi Stadium.
• MIT — Company · Referenced institution · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in passing, no specific context provided.
• Fox — Company · Platform · 1 mention · first at 56:51
  Network mentioned in the context of New Girl
  Like that where we got a little bit slowed down and you know in the network TV world it was the fir it was like one of the first years that they were actually you were putting things on Netflix too.
• Lululemon — Company · Mentioned brand · 1 mention · first at 1:14:14
  Mentioned in passing during the episode
  No. Leggings have a waistband. They're all the way up. Like you have Lululemon leggings.
• New Girl — Company · 4 mentions · first at 0:14
  Charming, quirky, smart, talented, great singer. Zoe Des Chanel, an actor and a musician. New girl, 500 Days of Summer.
• Elf — Company · 4 mentions
• She & Him — Company · 4 mentions
• Hot Coffee — Company · 3 mentions · first at 3:24
  Oh, she was such a diva. Like this diva wants hot coffee and then they gave her hot coffee and she burned her.
• Fancy Feast — Company · 3 mentions · first at 11:08
  Watching last night a commercial on 60 Minutes. in this commercial. It was for Fancy Feast and they were She'll know. whatever. They treat the cat like she's some elegant mistress, a queen,.
• Die Hard — Company · 3 mentions · first at 22:30
  They still have barely seen it. Last year I offered it up and they chose to watch Die Hard instead.
• God's True Cashmere — Company · 3 mentions
• Paper Source — Company · 2 mentions · first at 1:21:25
  Oh, Paper Source. My grandmother sponsor us. Save the [ __ ] out of that.
• Lily's — Company · 2 mentions · first at 1:22:01
  We saw you postmeal at Lily's and when you were saying everything you ordered at one point, I was well [ __ ] four of them must have got it. And I was how many folks went is.
• FaceTime — Company · 2 mentions · first at 1:49:04
  Record my screen. FaceTime you. We have a fun chitchat. This is great. Send it to you. You text me back Hey, where's the audio?
• Home Alone — Company · 2 mentions · first at 1:59:38
  Two, Home Alone. That's my number one.
• 49ers — Company · 2 mentions
• Diptyque — Company · 2 mentions
• Ember — Company · 2 mentions
• Wry — Company · 2 mentions
• 500 Days of Summer — Company · 1 mention · first at 0:14
  Charming, quirky, smart, talented, great singer. Zoe Des Chanel, an actor and a musician. New girl, 500 Days of Summer.
• Yes Man — Company · 1 mention · first at 0:17
  Elf. Yes, man. And she has a new movie on Prime Video called MV.
• The Staircase — Company · 1 mention · first at 20:38
  Like a new documentary that's like eight parts or something. Yeah, I love like the staircase, that type of thing.
• Trolls — Company · 1 mention · first at 24:03
  So, they like the like Trolls movies because it's like I'm a voice and I'm not like they're not seeing me. I think Elsie is a little more Oh, that's kind of cool you're in a movie.
• Nobody Wants This — Company · 1 mention · first at 24:49
  Yeah. but doesn't want to see like they don't want to watch nobody wants this, right?
• Twin Peaks — Company · 1 mention · first at 25:02
  Like look how steamy this kiss is. How they get this? So, growing up, my parents both worked on Twin Peaks and my mom was on it and there was like a part like I remember this…
• Hunger Games — Company · 1 mention · first at 30:08
  Little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
• Architectural Digest — Company · 1 mention · first at 30:42
  Okay. I watched a video of him walking I guess people through your house. I watched the architectural digest and me I was you were you was it in our LA house or New York?
• Glitterville — Company · 1 mention · first at 31:31
  But then since then, it's kind of like we have these guys from this place, Glitterville, come and do our house and they do an amazing job.
• Bridge to Sher — Company · 1 mention · first at 35:49
• Postmates — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:04:20
  Yeah, like shopping. Postmates where you can, door get cookies delivered.
• Nikki Kho — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:21:19
• Max and Helen's — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:21:39
  So, we've got a Max and Helen's hot sauce.
• Buatini — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:27:17
  From where? What is It's just French. I don't know. These are from Buatini, a really cute little shop in Echo Park and everything there is so cute.
• Florida Mall — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:35:44
  Speaking of big swing, what is happening? Florida mall is a very nice ding.
• Gremlins — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:59:14
  All right. I'll give it to you for Christmas. 10 is Gremlins.
• Miracle on 34th Street — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:59:17
  Oh, great. Nine is Miracle on 34th Street.

Products & tech

• MV — Product · Media product (film) · 2 mentions · first at 0:17
  Zoe Des Chanel's new movie being promoted in-episode; described as romcom/Christmas dog movie on Prime Video releasing Dec 10.
  Happy New Year. I just want to urge everyone to see MV December 10th on Prime Video. Check it out. Unless you're allergic to Adorable Dogs, romcom, or Christmas. If you're allergic to any of.
• Prime Video — Product · Platform · 3 mentions · first at 0:17
  Platform where Zoe Deschanel's new movie MV is available.
  Elf. Yes, man. And she has a new movie on Prime Video called MV.
• She and Him — Product · Musical project · 2 mentions · first at 59:41
  Zooey Deschanel's musical project discussed in the episode
  Yeah. And I was listening to She and Him's Christmas. A Merry Christmas.
• Ember — Product · Recommendation · 1 mention · first at 1:47
  Recommended by Zooey Deschanel during the episode
  I give it as gifts a lot. It's a great gift. I want to ask what drinking out of an Ember mug has done to your overall coffee intake cuz it is addressed mine.
• Ember — Product · Mentioned product (mug) · 1 mention · first at 1:47
  Hosts discuss Ember temperature-controlled mugs/cups as favorite cups; personal endorsement (incidental, gift mentions).
  These are my favorite cups. Ember, are they the best?
• Lily's Bakery / Lily's Hot Chocolate — Product · Restaurant product / branded menu items · 1 mention · first at 1:24:22
  Hosts praise Lily's Hot Chocolate, waffles, egg creams and menu items from Lily's Bakery (recommendation / personal experience).
  Oh, and then hot chocolate. They're known for their hot chocolate. It's called Lily's Hot Chocolate.
• Fancy Feast — Product · Cultural discussion · 4 mentions · first at 11:08
  Discussed in the context of cat food marketing and how cats are perceived as fancy animals.
  This is a great I'm glad this topic came up. And you now have cats cuz I was watching last night a commercial on 60 Minutes. in this commercial. It was for Fancy Feast and they…
• Fancy Feast — Product · Referenced product · 4 mentions · first at 11:08
  Cat food brand discussed in the context of pet care and marketing.
  Minutes. in this commercial. It was for Fancy Feast and they were She'll know. whatever. They treat the cat like she's some elegant mistress, a queen, the queen. And then the owner,.
• Max and Helen's — Product · Referenced product · 2 mentions · first at 1:21:19
  Mentioned as a place with good food, specifically hot sauce.
  Oo, that's a good sign. This gift is in honor of friend of the pod, Curtis Duffy.
• Christmas Cookies — Product · Referenced food · 1 mention · first at 1:04:27
  Mentioned in the context of holiday traditions and baking.
  Rob makes an incredible Christmas cookie.
• Lily's Hot Chocolate — Product · Referenced product · 1 mention · first at 1:24:18
  Mentioned as a notable item from a restaurant.
  Oh, and then hot chocolate. They're known for their hot chocolate. It's called Lily's Hot Chocolate.
• Beeswax candles by Diptyque — Product · Mentioned product (luxury candle) · 1 mention · first at 1:39:28
  Mentioned as a candle product (owner attribution Diptyque) in discussion of home items and holiday décor.
  So, I basically bought you the entire line of Lel candles.
• Lel Candles — Product · Gift · 2 mentions · first at 1:38:46
  Mentioned as a gift during the episode
  So, I basically bought you the entire line of Lel candles.
• Litter Robot — Product · Mentioned product · 1 mention · first at 13:21
  Mentioned in the context of cat care
  Like a litter robot. like pretty cool. like there was all this stuff.
• Lululemon — Product · Incidental mention · 1 mention · first at 1:14:16
  Mentioned in passing during a discussion about leggings.
  No. Leggings have a waistband. They're all the way up. Like you have Lululemon leggings.
• Max and Helen's Hot Sauce — Product · Gift · 1 mention · first at 1:21:39
  Mentioned as a gift during the episode
  So, we've got a Max and Helen's hot sauce.
• God's True Cash — Product · Gift · 1 mention · first at 1:36:10
  Mentioned as a gift given during the episode.
• Levi's — Product · Gift context · 1 mention · first at 1:37:32
  Mentioned in the context of a Christmas gift related to Levi's Stadium.
  It says Levis's on the front. That's Levi Stadium.
• Leggings — Product · 6 mentions · first at 1:12:12
  Yes, I'm wearing cozy slacks. Rob, you going to come sit? I'm wearing leggings for the winter. These are leggings, but they're a joguit.
• Stockings — Product · 5 mentions · first at 1:12:52
  A legging is a clothing. Oh, stockings.
• sourdough — Product · 3 mentions · first at 5:53
  And I was like I knew my mom needed her sourdough back up and running and her starter and my dad needed a camera.
• Waffle — Product · 3 mentions · first at 1:23:51
  They upsold us on the waffle. We were not going to get a waffle, but they were Do you want a waffle? Just like start.
• candles — Product · 3 mentions · first at 1:38:49
  For the candles. So, it's a one-stop candle extra extravaganza for your house.
• sausages — Product · 2 mentions · first at 50:02
  He's been acting a while. He's he's he's very he's incredibly well trained and honestly loves sausages a lot.
• pea protein — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:02:52
  I realized like I'm allergic to like a lot of the like fake meat things and like pea protein. Like almost every protein powder I can't eat.
• hot sauce — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:21:39
  So, we've got a Max and Helen's hot sauce.
• Tuna melt — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:22:20
  Highly recommend the tuna melt. Oh my god, it was so good.
• Hot chocolate — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:24:18
  Oh, and then hot chocolate. They're known for their hot chocolate. It's called Lily's Hot Chocolate.
• Egg cream — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:24:33
  That's right. She runs and owns it with her husband. She was there. And then an egg cream. Do not sleep on the egg cream.
• Bobbleheads — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:37:58
  Can I tell you what was going to be so cute? So, I ordered bobbleheads. So, I had a Chicago Bears bobblehead that was going to be in the end zone and then a 49ers bobblehead. And then I found a Elliot who I think Rob looks so much.
• DVDs — Product · 2 mentions
• Ember mug — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:57
  I give it as gifts a lot. It's a great gift. I want to ask what drinking out of an Ember mug has done to your overall coffee intake cuz it is addressed mine.
• litter robot — Product · 1 mention · first at 13:21
  Like a litter robot. like pretty cool. like there was all this stuff.
• lip gloss — Product · 1 mention · first at 46:00
  My mom brought it over. I forgot the dang bread. I go back in. I'm Oh my god, I need my lip gloss. I two things you did need today. So I need but it's like that's the kind of…
• chicken breast — Product · 1 mention · first at 50:16
  Treats. So they have to give him like healthy chicken breast. They love chicken breast. Yeah.
• whey protein — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:03:02
  Oh, really? I get like I'll even like this is from whey protein which I can eat a little bit but I get like the ends of my fingers become cracked.
• whey isolate — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:03:15
• bone broth protein — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:03:27
  Okay. You know what I can do is bone broth protein.
• soy protein — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:03:41
  I'll try the isolate. But, yeah. And I can't have pea protein. I'm really allergic to that. I can't have soy protein. I'm allergic to that. I'm like pretty much all the…
• white chocolate cranberry cookie — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:04:37
  No, it's white chocolate cranberry cookie.

Concepts & topics

• Christmas — Concept · Core topic · 31 mentions · first at 0:08
  Central theme of the episode, discussing holiday traditions, movies, and celebrations.
• Christmas Movie — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at 22:35
  Discussed as a genre of movies enjoyed during the holiday season.
• ADHD — Concept · Discussion topic · 2 mentions · first at 38:26
  Discussed in relation to Zooey Deschanel's personal experiences
• Elves — Concept · Referenced concept · 8 mentions · first at 0:17
  Mentioned in the context of Christmas movies and traditions.
  It's the context, but it's not about Santa Claus or elves or Christmas specific characters and it's not a Christmas specific plotline. just happens to have these like nice little cozy Christmas vibes. So that's.
• True Crime — Concept · Referenced topic · 3 mentions · first at 19:38
  Discussed as a genre preference for relaxation.
  Specifically, the book was morbid curiosity.
• Morbid Curiosity — Concept · Related topic · 1 mention · first at 19:59
  Mentioned in the context of true crime discussion
  Morbid curiosity and how beneficial it is for us as humans to be able to model out our fears and plan. We're attracted to true crime because we can kind of in our brains.
• Time Blindness — Concept · Related topic · 1 mention · first at 46:27
  Mentioned in the context of ADHD discussion
  Time blindness. is real. I have clots everywhere.
• MV — Concept · 6 mentions
• New Girl — Concept · 4 mentions · first at 0:14
  Charming, quirky, smart, talented, great singer. Zoe Des Chanel, an actor and a musician. New girl, 500 Days of Summer.
• Die Hard — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 22:30
  They still have barely seen it. Last year I offered it up and they chose to watch Die Hard instead.
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 1:06:00
  Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
• Audible Best of 2025 — Concept · 3 mentions
• sourdough starter — Concept · 3 mentions
• go bag — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 8:55
  Was happening I was like okay got to digitize everything got to make a you know a go bag. I didn't do anything.
• commercials — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 14:32
  It just really hit me last night and I've been watching those commercials for 50 years, but last night I was Wow, they put a lot of effort into this cat food.
• True American — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 58:09
  Yeah. What's the name of the game in the show? Remember the True American.
• click track — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 1:10:09
  And I'm Okay, at least we can I guess it's simple to keep everyone on the same click track. When you see something live to click, it changes the whole my insides just go like same. I don't like click.
• softball — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 1:49:37
  Think I think we're riding on your Yeah, I had lost my softball championship the day before.
• musical theater — Concept · 1 mention · first at 33:01
  Your daughter, they both like to perform. My daughter is very, she does theater, musical theater. She's a good singer and actor and she likes to perform. It's like she openly likes it. My son break dances and he does like to do.
• auditions — Concept · 1 mention · first at 33:50
  Because they were in the business. They said to me, If you want to be an actor, you can get an agent and go to auditions when you're like 16 and can drive yourself right?
• neurotypical — Concept · 1 mention · first at 41:51
  But I to I don't have it. I don't think I don't I You seem neurotypical to me.
• comorbidity — Concept · 1 mention · first at 42:35
  Created. And I think you are too, but he does have dyslexia and that is sort of maybe a comorbidity.
• educational therapy — Concept · 1 mention · first at 45:07
  Mechanisms. And I will say that because I was diagnosed so young and I had educational therapy really young that I was like taught like I was in educational therapy like two…
• time blindness — Concept · 1 mention · first at 46:27
  Time blindness. is real. I have clots everywhere.
• Daredevil — Concept · 1 mention · first at 48:24
• Love Actually — Concept · 1 mention · first at 54:49
  Christmas because it wasn't like the front and center thing. It's more in the realm of like Love Actually or like Die Hard where there's like Christmas in the background.
• Parenthood — Concept · 1 mention · first at 57:45
  Oh, that's like the whole six years on Parenthood.
• Meet Me in St. Louie — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:08:22
  It was in Meet Me in St. Louie. And the first person to sing it was Judy Garland.
• tort reform — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:55:23
  This doc is so great I don't know where you find it hot coffee but it's all about tort reform and what was sold to us and really what happened in the states where they adopted it medical cost still went up even outpacing some of the.
• civil court system — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:55:56
  That is your only defense. Like we have this one thing left, the civil court system, and that's the only way an individual can fight back with government, corporations. So it has to be preserved and protected. And some of.
• French bulldog — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:58:49
• metronome — Concept · 1 mention · first at 2:00:28
  And I looked it up. In music, click, most commonly refers to as a click track, an audio metronome used to keep musicians in sync during recording or live performance. It's a…
• agent — Concept · 1 mention
• Virgo — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Christmas — Event · Core topic · 31 mentions · first at 0:08
  Central theme of the episode, discussing holiday traditions, movies, and personal experiences.
• Golden Globe — Event · Achievement · 4 mentions · first at 1:42:52
  Mentioned as a nomination for the podcast
• Golden Globe Awards — Event · Mentioned achievement · 2 mentions · first at 1:43:01
  Podcast team's nomination discussed
  We really did. We as a team are nominated for Golden Globe for this very show.
• Los Angeles — Place · Setting · 4 mentions · first at 16:35
  Mentioned in the context of living and working
  Yet they live in this house with professional. It's very weird. I'd imagine for them.
• LA — Place · Referenced city · 4 mentions
  Abbreviation for Los Angeles, mentioned in various contexts.
• Thanksgiving — Event · Referenced event · 1 mention · first at 28:13
  Mentioned in the context of personal holiday experiences.
  Checking off his and he loves to tinker. So we have a place in New York and we were there for Thanksgiving and like he spent the entire time hiding from you guys. No, he was just fixing stuff the whole time.
• New York, New York — Place · Setting · 5 mentions · first at 28:11
  Mentioned in the context of living and working
  Yeah. Well, my situation was I ordered you a bunch of things that were coming from Yok.
• World Cup — Event · Referenced event · 3 mentions
  Mentioned in passing as an event.
• Nashville — Place · Setting · 4 mentions · first at 28:27
  Mentioned in the context of living and working
  Day just fixing things. And we similarly, we were in Nashville for Thanksgiving. I spent the entire trip trying to figure out the pool heaters that were both broken. She'd be obsessed.
• Chicago — Place · Setting · 4 mentions · first at 1:26:47
  Mentioned in the context of living and working
  There's a card. Oh, ever in Chicago.
• Brentwood — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 16:33
  Mentioned as the location of Zooey Deschanel's home
  Yeah. No, we had to evacuate like pretty soon. So, where do you live?
• New York airport — Place · 2 mentions · first at 1:17:43
  Oh [ __ ] Just hand you a That is from New York airport.
• Palisades — Place · 1 mention · first at 17:02
  Was evacuated in that time. And so you go to a hotel and it's like all the doodles in the Palisades have like it's a dog.
• Northwestern — Place · 1 mention · first at 36:10
  Yes. I want to protect going to Northwestern with crazy outfits and not fitting in.
• Mount Juliet — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:18:58
  Nothing there. I'm like what the [ __ ] Open up to take a picture and that's that's Mount Juliet.
• Echo Park — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:27:20
  It's just French. I don't know. These are from Buatini, a really cute little shop in Echo Park and everything there is so cute.
• Levi Stadium — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:37:33
  It says Levis's on the front. That's Levi Stadium.
• Los Angeles County — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:58:24
  Are in Los Angeles. There's no exact number, but it's a large and growing population. It has an estimated Los Angeles County has an estimated 5.3 million dogs across roughly…

Media & podcasts

• Armchair Expert — Media · Host podcast · 4 mentions · first at 0:00
  The podcast where the discussion takes place, hosted by Dan Shepard and Lily Padman.
• New Girl — Media · Career highlight · 4 mentions · first at 0:14
  Zooey Deschanel's popular TV show discussed in the episode
• Elv — Media · Referenced work · 6 mentions
  Mentioned as a movie the guest starred in, part of her acting career.
  But they love they loved it. but this year my daughter was Yeah, I'd like I'd like to watch Elve with my friends.
• She and Him — Media · Referenced music · 2 mentions · first at 59:41
  Music project mentioned by guest Zoe Des Chanel, promoting their holiday album.
  Yeah. And I was listening to She and Him's Christmas. A Merry Christmas.
• Elf — Media · Career highlight · 1 mention · first at 0:14
  Zooey Deschanel's popular Christmas movie mentioned in the episode
  I love it. I knew when I read that script that like I was man, if this hits like it'll come around every year and that is so that's such a good real.
• It's a Wonderful Life — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 1:59:40
  Classic Christmas movie discussed.
  That's a fine list. I'm usually more It's from IMDb.
• Hot Coffee — Media · Documentary · 3 mentions · first at 3:24
  Mentioned in the discussion about the McDonald's coffee lawsuit
  Oh, she was such a diva. Like this diva wants hot coffee and then they gave her hot coffee and she burned her.
• Christmas Vacation — Media · Referenced movie · 3 mentions · first at 1:17:13
  Christmas movie mentioned in the context of holiday traditions.
  On the door and then they pull it open and he's still holding the handle in vacation, Christmas, vacation. He's holding the gift from his boss he's been waiting for. But somehow he's holding he's like clinging cling. And then when they.
• She and Him's Christmas — Media · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at 59:41
  Zooey Deschanel's music project mentioned
  Yeah. And I was listening to She and Him's Christmas. A Merry Christmas.
• Home Alone — Media · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at 1:59:38
  Mentioned as a classic Christmas movie.
  Two, Home Alone. That's my number one.
• Meet Me in St. Louis — Media · Referenced work / origin of song · 1 mention · first at 1:08:25
  Referenced when Zoe sings 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' — noting Judy Garland first sang it in this film.
  Yeah. The crickets are Do you guys know where this song came from? Tell us.
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 1:59:30
  Mentioned as a classic Christmas movie, part of holiday traditions.
  Trusted Brand. I don't think Rudolph should be that high up. I'm going to say that. It's It's 20 minutes and it's claimation. I love it, but you can't put that up against The.
• The Grinch Who Stole Christmas — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 1:59:52
  Christmas movie mentioned in the context of holiday traditions.
  That. It's It's 20 minutes and it's claimation. I love it, but you can't put that up against The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is way better.
• Die Hard — Media · Referenced work · 3 mentions · first at 22:28
  Mentioned as a Christmas movie alternative.
  Cool. We just watched that for the first time on Friday.
• Trolls — Media · Referenced movie · 1 mention · first at 24:03
  Animated movie mentioned by guest Zoe Des Chanel, where she provided a voice.
  So, they like the like Trolls movies because it's like I'm a voice and I'm not like they're not seeing me. I think Elsie is a little more Oh, that's kind of cool you're in a movie.
• Twin Peaks — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 25:02
  TV show mentioned in passing
  Like look how steamy this kiss is. How they get this? So, growing up, my parents both worked on Twin Peaks and my mom was on it and there was like a part like I remember this…
• DAX — Character · Referenced person (brief) · 1 mention
  Extracted as a person with minor mentions; context unclear in transcript beyond passing name references.

Sponsors

• Audible — Sponsor · Sponsor · 4 mentions · first at 1:00
  Presenting sponsor of the episode; read ad copy promoting Audible's Best of 2025 collection and CTA URL.
• MV — Media · Main topic · 2 mentions · first at 0:17
  Zooey Deschanel's new movie discussed in the episode
  Elf. Yes, man. And she has a new movie on Prime Video called MV.
• Audible — Product · Sponsor · 4 mentions · first at 0:58
  Primary sponsor of the episode, promoting their best of 2025 collection
  Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode.
• Audible — Company · Explicit sponsor · 4 mentions · first at 1:00
  Presenting sponsor of the episode, promoting their Best of 2025 collection.
  Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode.
• Audible's best of 2025 — Product · Sponsor product · 3 mentions · first at 1:02
  Promoted product by the sponsor, featuring top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals.
  Something you know is going to hit, check out Audible's best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/bestof2025.
• Audible — Product · Sponsor · 4 mentions · first at 1:00
  Presenting sponsor of the episode
  Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode.
• ADVERTISER / Sponsor mentions — Sponsor · Generic sponsor token · 1 mention
  Generic extraction referring to sponsor mentions (Audible specifically read); represents sponsorship content in episode.
  Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have just one of the more adorable humans on planet Earth.

0:08 Yes. A Christmas mouse. Charming, quirky, smart, talented, great singer. Zoe Des Chanel, an actor and a musician. New girl, 500 Days of Summer. Elf. Yes, man. And she has a new movie on Prime Video called MV.

0:23 MV. And I promise you right now, this this movie is getting watched by my family who are all dog lovers.

0:28 Yes. It's an adorable story about a couple that's broken up and the dog is so depressed.

0:34 Sorry, dog. Sorry, Murf. Uh, please enjoy Zoe Des. Well, there's a special surprise in this episode. We get something very special from Zoe that we kind of forced to happen.

0:48 She came very generous. She was in the holiday spirit. That's right. So, enjoy enjoy the little special

0:55 and tune. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for supporting this episode. Armcher's Audible's best of 2025 collection is here. The year's top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals across every genre. Their editors spent countless hours listening and debating to handpick this year's must listens. If you want to finish the year with something you know is going to hit, check out Audible's best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/bestof2025.

1:35 He's an object. These are my favorite cups. Ember, are they the best? They're the best.

1:51 They're not a sponsor. I give it as gifts a lot. It's a great gift. I want to ask what drinking out of an Ember mug has done to your overall coffee intake cuz it is it is addressed mine.

2:03 It's Yeahating. It's up. First of all, these glasses are so cute. They really are. I love that.

2:09 You look so cute. You guys look so cute. Stop. Um Okay. Wait. It makes me drink just the right amount, which is however many cups I have, which is a lot,

2:18 right? I I have a lot, too. But but I used to drink 2 in the morning while I was doing my like journaling and [ __ ]

2:24 but I realized that was mostly because I was I didn't like that it was getting cold,

2:28 right? You drink it too fast. I was drinking it fast to deal with the temperature loss. And this I leisurely sip and it has cut down my coffee in the morning in half.

2:38 You know what? I I think it actually probably has with me too cuz and then I get so disappointed when it gets my coffee gets cold.

2:45 Yeah. Yeah, I know. Even I always ask for extra hot at at cafes so that it's like by the time the end of the drink it's not like disappointingly cold.

2:54 Yeah. What do they normally respond to you with when you request that? Because it feels like a liability

3:00 with disdain. They were like they were like chef likes it at this point. Yeah. Chef likes it like Luke. You didn't happen to ever see the documentary about the woman who famously and when we were kids the whole world knew that a woman burnt her legs with McDonald's. That was huge.

3:18 It was the biggest and it was it was pitched to us in a certain way. Oh, she was such a diva. Like

3:24 this diva wants hot coffee and then and then they gave her hot coffee and she burned her.

3:29 Yes. And it was the ultimate symbol of um frivolous lawsuit. Right. Right. That's how it was pitched.

3:35 Yeah. That's how it was pitched. There's an incredible documentary called Hot Coffee. It's about this woman,

3:40 Zoe. Her entire thighs had to have skin grafts. Like, it was really too hot. It was insane. It burned off all of her skin. And that year that she sued, mind you, she didn't sue for any money. She just wanted the skin graph paid for. It was like 50 grand or whatever.

3:58 The settlement we all heard about was the jury going, "No, no, we need to punish McDonald's at least one day of coffee sales." So they added up what they made in a one day of coffee sales, gave it to her

4:09 because they had had at that moment like alreadyund and some complaints that year of similar

4:15 that's too hot. Yeah. Everyone's like that [ __ ] naggy [ __ ] And she was just an old lady with no skin on her face. So sad.

4:25 And she just wanted the graph paid for. So but she left a millionaire. Good job. You know what? Well, she got the money. That's

4:33 great. worth it. Um, let's talk about the bread. Okay. Yes. Okay. So, Mary Joe, um, this was my curiosity cuz I relisted to your episode today on a hike which is going on four years ago.

4:44 Yeah, it was a little while. But at that time, four years ago, Mary Joe was a huge fan.

4:49 She still is freaking a huge fan. So happy we still aren't. Would she have baked you guys bread?

4:58 See, I know enough. Is she someone who hands out bread willy-nilly? No, she's not. Okay. I feel so No, if she loves you, she'll bake you bread. That mean she loves you guys.

5:08 Yeah. See, cuz she's long past the excited phase of letting people know she knows how to do it.

5:14 Stuff she hears. She's like always Okay. But I mean in the bread baking world like like Kristen's still making a couple hundred loaves a day to hand out to people cuz it's still very impressive for people to receive a loaf from her. But that'll wear off.

5:28 Right. Right. But so Mary Joe's down to like the real baker. Well, so my my mom like when I was growing up like just baked bread like all that was what she ate. She likes to eat her own bread and she bakes it for herself to eat. Like that's what she and so and so their house burned down last year which was really sad. And the thing that we were like I was like trying to like make sure they were okay. And I was like I knew my mom needed her sourdough back up and running and her starter and my dad needed a camera.

5:58 What kind of camera did dad need? Well, he still needs like a Leica. That's what he But we got him. You know, it's like we he he has he has other stuff

6:06 to remind people. Your father's a very famous cinematographer. Yes. Yes. A claim.

6:11 Yes. Bravo. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But my mom, my kids call her Jojo, which is very cute. Um

6:17 Jojo needed her sourdough and so and she'd given the starter like the starter had has been around for like, you know, I don't know 30 40 years. My whole childhood she was baking bread. She'd given it to some friends, you know, like then they started. So, we got her sourdough,

6:33 her original starter, and she got it back and she's been, you know, baking in their apartment. And

6:40 Were they evacuated at your house? They were. Yes, they were. Yeah. So, they were at our house and then we were evacuated for a while, but then when when they'd lost their house, they they came and stayed with us for maybe like 3 weeks. And but they wanted their own place though. They were like they were done.

6:55 Yeah. We were No, we have like a nice guest house, but they I think they think they're imposing.

7:01 Oh, that's what it is. And so they they just get nervous about like, oh, you know, we're imposing.

7:07 Yeah, we need to give them their space. That's so sad. How sad was that? The childhood house.

7:14 It was like so sad. Devastating. It felt like a person, you know? You're like, "Oh my god."

7:18 Yeah. But then then I realized it's like now I just like don't think about it on intentionally

7:23 until you're here and we make you talk about it. No, I I I can talk about it in a in a sort of distant way, emotionally distant way. But I realized like there was a a while where it was like,

7:35 you know, you get like every day you think of something else that you lost that was precious. You go, "Oh no, the

7:44 slate from being there that was like on the wall, you know, like that." No. And then my dad will be like, "My wine, you know, like things like he collected for years."

7:53 What did they bring to your house? Anything. So they had almost nothing. The one thing that my dad got that I thank God cuz they left like

8:02 for an appointment like before it was like just bad luck. They didn't even get a suitcase. But my dad saw the smoke and went back in and grabbed his hard drive that had all his photography on it. Oh, thank God. So, thank God that was like

8:15 one of those like divine gift photo albums that all gone. But we he he he's like amazing about digitizing. He digitized everything. So, everything was digitized. There was like

8:26 Okay. maybe a few things that weren't, but he's like a Virgo, obsessive Virgo who he would spend months every day working like it was a job digitizing his photography like whenever he was off work and it would be like you'd be like

8:40 have a little fun like you know and now he's like now he's like I'm that's my legacy. Yes.

8:47 Um I feel like we learned nothing from the fires because I thought like when it was happening I was like okay got to digitize everything got to make a you know a go bag. I didn't do anything. It's been a year almost.

9:00 Yeah. It is hard because it was like the the stuff you go you go you want the stuff in the go bag that you want like you like I want stuff I want to wear but then I'm like I want to wear that so like take it out of the go bag.

9:10 Sure. Like the go bag is like do you buy just like an extra pair of jeans that you love and an extra top that you love and put it in the go bag.

9:18 What did you pack? See clothes this this is a fascinating kind of gendered thing which is Kristen

9:24 was making these decisions from her closet that were Sophie's choicees, right? It's like [ __ ] I got to leave a lot of this behind. And it to me it was a little nuts. I'm like oh well I have a car collection that's gonna be gone. How many can we actually drive out of here?

9:39 We didn't have any. We just Jonathan insisted on driving each car out. He did. Like I mean we don't have like any fan, you know, nothing. We just had like we had an extra car.

9:50 Yes. That that he just was like, "Well, if it's there, it's, you know, going, you know."

9:55 So he was shuttling around. He kind of shuttled that out. But um for me, I didn't really We had so little time and I had to pack the kids and me and

10:04 packed our cat stuff up and we just gotten three kittens and I was like, "Oh, wow." And so I was just like I only had like a really short time.

10:11 It limits where you can go too as well. Like if you called me and said, "Hey, I'd like to come over with my family." Absolutely. And you go by I have three I have three kittens. I would go I call some other people first.

10:20 Oh no. You know, like I'm still here for you, but try to find a more hospitalitable.

10:25 We were in like a tiny hotel room with three kittens and normally they don't like sleep in our room and they're so cute, but they were being understandably like worried about me and so they kept snuggling up like and I'd be like, "But I can't sleep."

10:40 Yeah. Every time you suck and they licking my every any skin that was exposed. Well, they want to eat you a little bit, don't they?

10:49 They were sensing her anxiety and they were trying to fix it, but it was really making it worse.

10:52 But then we also know that they eat their owners when they die. Like, we know that about them.

10:57 They eat your brain. Dogs and cats. This is a great I'm glad this topic came up. And you now have cats cuz I was watching last night a commercial on 60 Minutes. in this commercial. It was for Fancy Feast and they were like, "She'll know." You know, whatever. They treat the cat like she's some elegant mistress,

11:16 a queen, the queen. And then the the the owner, the mom, she unveiled this fancy feast treat that comes in a can, but it's like layered at the top. It has It looks gorgeous.

11:27 Yeah. And I was like, "When did we decide cats are fancy?" I know why. It's kind of a weird reason, though. It's like not It's more about marketing. It's just that when dogs run, they're like

11:43 when cats walk, they're like little prissy because they have slinkies in their back. They're like like and everything and they can fully fold their pot. They're very like

11:55 Yeah. They're very like elegant. So when they walk, they're like, if you are holding a cat and you they start wiggling and then they jump out of your arms, they literally won't fall. They'll always fall on their feet. Whereas if you're holding a dog and you like dropped the dog,

12:11 the dog might land on it. It might hurt, but the cat will land on its feet. They're very agile. That I I agree.

12:19 But the classiness, this notion that we're going to feed this cat this feast, a fancy feast, I think it has more to do with the owners.

12:29 Well, my I have three cats. Okay. One of them looks crazy. Have you owned cats prior to these cats?

12:35 No. They're my And are they changing you? Yeah. I Oh, I always loved cats. Okay.

12:40 I always thought they were so cute, but I never had one before. And they're very affectionate.

12:45 I think it's because we associate them with being smart. They are smart. They're so smart. It's crazy.

12:52 Yeah, they are. My cats are so smart. It's like smarter than a dog. Do you have had dogs?

12:57 They're smarter than the dogs I've had. They're smarter than the dogs you've had.

13:00 The dogs are a little like, you know, I mean, they look the dog I worked with on this movie is like incredibly smart.

13:06 A professional actor. He's a dog actor. Yeah. Yeah. He's smart. They're cut from a different cloth.

13:12 Um but and I love dogs, but but my cats, I show them to do something once and they do it immediately. Like I got like a new litter thing.

13:21 Um like a litter robot. like pretty cool. Um like there was all this stuff. It was like, "Oh, show you have to do all this stuff to switch them." I literally put the litter in. My favorite cat, Dove, um was like looking at me and I was like I looked at her and she saw she jumped in and used it right away

13:39 on command. She went number one or two. I can't remember. Okay. I think you'd remember if it was number two.

13:44 I think it was number one. Yeah. It doesn't matter. She had to work her way. She set the tone number two.

13:48 She set the tone, guys. at the risk of offending anyone. You don't think there's anything to do with the just gendered nature of cat ownership?

13:55 Oh, the cats are more like the women want to like they want to make this fancy meal for

14:02 their cat. I don't know. I just can't imagine a dude like in the commercial for the dog like and it's, you know, it's three tiered and then there's this beautiful thing on top. I don't know. Something's going on with what we've done to cat. I think it's how I think it's not just the owner's gender, but it's a it's how we gender the the species cuz I think we gender dogs as male and gender

14:23 cats as female and whether you know like that they're fancy. Sure. Sure. Or elegant elegant. Yes.

14:31 It just really hit me last night and I've been watching those commercials for 50 years, but last night I was like, "Wow, they put a lot of effort into this cat food."

14:37 Yeah. Although like dog food has become more and more It's like dogs need human food now, right? Like Fancy Feast is not human grade. But most dogs I know now eat human food,

14:51 right? Like cooked on a stove till it's like, you know, mushy and palatable. We have a delivery system. That's embarrasses me a little bit. Yeah. It's very fresh.

15:02 And I guess it is still male. Like males need but but again we need our protein to be perfect.

15:07 Yeah. For our muscle our muscles. They they got to get get the muscles going now. Okay. Back to um Jonathan.

15:15 Yes. So during the fires. Yeah. I imagine you're in a similar situation with Kristen, which is my hunch is you have a more traditional dude on your hands.

15:25 Yeah. Right. Cuz he's a builder. And where is he from? Texas. Canada. Canada. Yeah. So he's just nice.

15:32 He's so nice, but rugged. He grew up on a ranch. He's rugged. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He grew up like picking rocks like off the ground and setting

15:40 and Yeah. and like building fences while you're in Hollywood. Yeah. Couldn't be more

15:47 like it's still completely a fairy tale for you. It's like it still feels like it's in the um

15:53 there were fences there. Yeah. Like your your imagination of his childhood versus maybe what it was. So

16:00 like I said at one point, okay, so we're getting close to, you know, they've evacuated like I don't know, six blocks away.

16:06 And I was like, okay, you know, if it gets to ours, you guys bounce. I'm defin I'm staying.

16:13 You know, I had all the hoses out and the generator, but I was going to stay for sure and water the house.

16:18 Okay. So, what was interesting was I was like, he kept being like And I'm like, seriously, we're going to have to go.

16:26 Yeah. And you're like, my parents just burned down yet? Yeah. No, we had to evacuate like pretty soon. So, where do you live?

16:35 We're in Brentwood. He just is like, "Don't freak out." And I'm like, "I'm freaking out. I'm going to," you know? So, I would say like I'm more on the

16:46 like, "Let's just evacuate before we need to." And he's like, "Let's just wait."

16:51 And it's like, "Why?" And I'm like, "Why are we waiting? Let's get out." The evacuation situation was so interesting cuz it's like everyone was evacuated in that time. And so you go to a hotel and it's like all the doodles in the Palisades have like it's a dog.

17:06 It was kind of like cheering me up cuz they're just like everyone has a doodle. It's just a doodle city. And then what was also funny was the hotel was still doing people's like weddings at the same time.

17:19 Oh wow. Cuz they're not going to call off people's weddings. No fires are no fires.

17:23 And I was like I remember being like I had to take the cats out of the room so they could clean it. And I have like three kittens in a like in kitten carriers and I'm sitting there and it's just like this thing where like everybody's and my you know everyone's just like in the state

17:39 and they're like so over here is where we'll do cocktail hour like they're doing the show must go.

17:44 And I was like this is so wild. Life is wild. Yeah. Life is wild. Do you ever get conscious of like you

17:53 you know people recognize you like you're aware of it and you're often in public doing things that are just kind of weird cuz you're a human and you have to do weird things. So I'd imagine like someone who is on vacation and then you're there with like with three cats like I got to get these out of the room.

18:08 Crazy like sweatpants. I definitely was like if someone recognizes me this will be like a fun story. Like if you saw Alpuccino holding three cats,

18:19 I kind of gave them a gift. Like I would be like, "This is the best celeb sighting ever." Let me tell you what I saw. Aluccino holding three cats.

18:26 I would guess this is such a guess cuz I wasn't on the show, but I feel like the fans of New Girl is are really great fans.

18:33 Oh yes. I love them. I love them cuz it's such a good show. So again, smart cats like

18:38 And also conceptually it's like we're going to root for quirky. Yeah. Right. So that like weeds out like it's not Beverly Hills 90210 at that point. It's it's like something different.

18:50 It's true. It it it's definitely like such a good group. I love like everyone that comes up to me and watches that show and like pretty much like what I've noticed it's kind of weird and it's not what I would expect is that by the way I keep like accidentally looking at the camera behind your head.

19:06 What is your first day in front of a camera? Like you caught your reflection. You can't look away. And I love the people who like me and also a lot of people use it as like a comfort thing where they watch it again and again. They're like, I watch it every night before I go to bed. And I'm like, you know, I love that

19:28 and it makes me feel like like we can be cozy for them. Really nice. What's your show? What's your cozy show

19:37 or movie? We like to watch like true crime. True crime. Is that like weird? No, we just learned about this. Does Does your husband like true crime, too? Okay, I like that. That's gender

19:49 challenging. Don't men like true crime? It's He doesn't like Bravo as much as I do. For sure.

19:55 Women, we just had an expert on about this. Oh, about true crime. Specifically, the book was morbid curiosity.

20:01 Morbid curiosity and how beneficial it is for us as humans to be able to model out our fears and plan. We're attracted to true crime because we can kind of in our brains like play out or hear the end of a story that we might find ourselves.

20:17 Specifically, viewers are really interested when you do like studies on them. Um like what sign did this person miss?

20:24 Right. That's like women's big preoccupation a lot with true crime is like, "Wow, they knew this guy. What did they miss? I got to find out what not to miss."

20:33 No, it's true. I like it when there's like a new documentary that's like eight parts or something. Yeah, I love like the staircase, that type of thing.

20:41 I love that. Remember how good the staircase was? You had to order the DVDs from Netflix and it took a long time. You had to get up and put them in.

20:47 You really earned it. You know what was nice about this and I'm just remembering is now when you're streaming, you just run through,

20:54 right? Whereas you had a built-in break to stand up and go put that DVD in and be like, "Oh, let's go to the bathroom. Let's make more snacks."

21:01 Right. Right. It kind of compartmentalized it in a fun way. You know what I was thinking recently? I think the streamers should have a playlist option where you can make your own playlist of episodes of any TV show or movie or whatever.

21:15 Great idea. I think you're totally right. I mean, how much are they going to pay me for this? Cuz like if you make a playlist and then you just put on it's like, oh, I'm watching this episode of Friends, then this episode of New Girl, and then this.

21:25 And you were saying it would be communal like kind of social networking. If we wanted it to be, but it's just like I'm letting that run all day, a playlist I created. You would love that cuz you rewatch things a lot. Do you do a lot of re-watching?

21:38 It depends. Like there are movies that I like to rewatch. I don't normally like rewatch a TV show.

21:43 Okay. Now, Christmas time. Yeah. It's upon us. I've always wondered like I've never We've never interviewed Chvy Chase, but I do want to know I would love

21:56 Yeah. if a movie of mine Yeah. came out every single year. Yeah. No, it's it's And a great one of mine, no less.

22:03 Right. Is it fun? I love it. I knew when I read that script that like I was like, man, if this hits

22:11 like it'll come around every year and that is so that's such a good good real estate.

22:15 It joined the group of like 10, right? Which I Yeah. best. It's incredible. Was such a fortunate thing.

22:21 So now when you were here last time in 2022 February, your children hadn't seen it.

22:26 They still have barely seen it. Last year I offered it up and they chose to watch Die Hard instead.

22:32 Cool. We just watched that for the first time on Friday. Christmas movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

22:37 Um Yes. Don't judge me that my kids watch No, that's okay. That's good. Um but they love they loved it. Um but this year my daughter was like, "Yeah, I'd like I'd like to watch Elve with my friends."

22:50 She said that with her friends. Yeah. Yeah. Not with me. No. I'm like, I'll do a Q&A afterwards if you want.

22:56 Sure. People pay money for this. Like, listen. Does she ever say like, "Mom." Well, it took a long time because she likes to sing and then she'd be like, I'd give her advice and she'd be like,

23:06 "Uh, she wouldn't take it." Yeah. And then finally she was like, "Oh, okay. Oh, oh, that was a good note." And I'd be like, "Um, yeah.

23:20 Yes. Hello. My whole life." Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's like someone else probably told her, you know, your mom's like really good.

23:28 Like it's not it's not just like your mom's saying she's good. She's actually good. It's so hard to be a parent. I'm sorry you guys.

23:35 Well, if it helps you, it is hard to be a parent. Our 12-year-old also wants to be a singer.

23:40 Yeah. Her mother is also very well known as being an accomplished singer. Zero interest in her feedback or input.

23:49 Yeah. She more wants, and I can relate to this, she just wants to click to peer mode right?

23:54 Like where they're both just talking about music and they both get it, but the 12-year-old hasn't had the education yet.

24:00 Have they watched anything of yours that they love? So, they like the like Trolls movies because it's like I'm a voice and I'm not like they're not seeing me. I think Elsie is a little more like, "Oh, that's kind of cool you're in a movie." Charlie's like

24:15 he doesn't like that. It's a little weird. Like he's like weird. This is disconcerting. He wants you to be mom.

24:21 Yeah, they're good with that. Well, also if you're being like hot in a movie. Oh, that would be weird.

24:27 Yeah, of course your kids your boy son is going to be like, "Yeah, don't do that."

24:33 Yeah. How about you don't do that, mom? That's the only thing that they can't um stand is well, just the older one. Uh any kind of the cheating aspect.

24:42 Oh. Is a big Yeah. like doesn't really want to watch likes uh some of the stuff we've done.

24:47 Yeah. but doesn't want to see like they don't want to watch nobody wants this, right?

24:52 They don't want to see mom like in love with some other dude even though I love it.

24:57 Like look how steamy this kiss is. How they how they get this? So, growing up, my parents both worked on Twin Peaks

25:04 and my mom was on it and there was like a part like I remember this like there's like a part where it was like supposed to be like setting up that she had an affair with this other character and he literally just kisses her arm where he's like and I was like I remember I was like 9 years old when this was on and they let me watch it which again like maybe it wasn't appropriate but it was like an incredible show so I was happy but um I remember being like This is too much.

25:31 You call I was like the murder was fine, but the kissing my mom's arm not okay.

25:36 Too intimate. Yeah. Too too much. I get that. I know this. I did. My mom has big boobs.

25:44 And she would occasionally wear like not occasionally, kind of offten, uh, super tight tank top, right?

25:50 And we'd go out like to the grocery store or whatever. Yeah. And she was young,

25:54 right? Right. She had me on when she was 23. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't mind in the house,

25:59 right? But what I didn't like is I didn't I didn't like that I could see dudes were like, you know, like I could see guys like clocking her, staring at her, coming over and chatting, overly familiar, and I hated it. I just like get out of here, guys.

26:13 That's your mommy. And you knew it was because of her blers. Yeah. Because I'm a good at pattern recognition. And when she didn't wear that tank top, there wasn't as much action.

26:23 And you're like, "Mom, wear something different. Put something baggy on. You can be [ __ ] tight topped at the house. I'm just like a um a Muslim father

26:31 or an incel. It just made me in like an incel or control. I wonder if some incelss are born or you know come about because their moms have big blampers.

26:40 Big blampers that all the guys Well, definitely. I'd see her like get ready to go into the mall and be like, "Oh, [ __ ] She's wearing like you did."

26:47 Yeah. She's wearing tight shirt and all the lunatics are going to come out of the woodwork. What do you think about the word glamper before?

26:54 I love New Zealand. We were working in New Zealand. This is a huge ding ding ding. It just came up on last week's episode with your co-star Jake Johnson.

27:03 Oh my god. Jake Johnson was last week. And like Yes. You've never heard blampers.

27:08 No. But when you hear the term blampers, I know what you mean. You know, right?

27:12 I feel like Jake didn't, which is [ __ ] He could figure it out. He could now. I bet he's using it all the time.

27:20 I bet he's got a shirt that says, "I love Blanders." I'm sure he does. You love Blanders. Um, okay. So, we never finished up. Does Jonathan are there ever moments where you're like just be like an LA guy and call somebody?

27:35 Oh, there's never a thing that he's not fixing himself pretty much. Yeah. Um, it never like annoys me cuz I'm like he he like tends to like if he doesn't fix it himself, he'll like he'll get someone in to fix it. But sometimes it's like at breakneck speed. Like sometimes I'm like I'll be like how did I I was like there's somebody here already fixing the thing. Like he does everything so fast.

27:59 So you just love it. It sounds like I mean it's good cuz I don't know how to fix all those things and he has a little list and it's just like he has to be checking off off his and he loves to tinker. So we have a place in New York and we were there for Thanksgiving and like he spent the entire time

28:18 hiding from you guys. No, he was just fixing stuff the whole time. Like he spent an entire

28:24 day just fixing things. And we similarly, we were in Nashville for Thanksgiving. I spent the entire trip trying to figure out the pool heaters that were both broken. She'd be obsessed.

28:34 Yeah. Yeah. It's all I did is I was draining the pool at one point. Maybe we need to go on vacation together and you guys can just fix stuff.

28:42 Sounds like a horrible vacation. Just looking at what's wrong. He'll be like, "Oh, there's something wrong. Let me let me help you." Yeah.

28:49 He's like, "Why don't you call me?" If we have friends that need something fixed, he's like, "Why didn't you call me? I would have come over." He'll go to neighbors houses like we fix their thing. Like whatever.

28:59 He's a hero. He fixes all the neighbors stuff, the water thing, and you know, whatever. I don't know what they're even called, but he fixes them.

29:07 How far is he willing to travel? Cuz my home is almost ready, and I surely will need I can't

29:13 He will He will travel. He will travel. He's got a list for him. Yeah. Make a list. Make a list.

29:20 Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for their support. So, Audible just dropped their best of 2025 collection. And I got to say, this is one of those things that actually makes your life easier, Monica. Their editors have been doing the heavy lifting. We're talking countless hours of listening, heated debates, and the whole thing. They've handpicked the year's top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals across all your favorite genres. And what I love is that they're not just highlighting the giant releases, though those are in there. They've also dug up some real hidden gems, the stuff that might have flown under the radar, but totally deserves your attention. I love a good recommendation. My queue is out of control. So, anytime there's a curated list like this, I breathe a little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything

30:08 Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective. If you want something solid to close out the year, this is a great place to start. Check out Audible's best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/bestof 2025. Okay. I watched a video of him walking I guess people through your house. I watched the architectural digest

30:43 and me I was you were you was it in our our LA house or New York? LA I'm presuming this was a Christmas specific video.

30:54 That's our house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he was showing all the Christmas decorations that apparently take six days to put up.

31:00 Yes. And when I saw this footage, it's overwhelming. It's Discono Garden level. So you guys really go berserk. Yeah, we go up with our help with that or is that all hand?

31:12 Yeah. Well, are you in the design phase? I I'm always like involved in the design. Great.

31:17 Like when we started our like really crazy decorating journey, I pulled like tons of inspiration photos. Like I wanted it to look like a vintage kind of Christmas thing.

31:28 But then since then, it's kind of like we have these guys from this place, Glitterville, come and do our house and they do an amazing job.

31:35 You have the same tree. I noticed you have a fake tree. Yes, that's a good 12 feet tall. It's enormous.

31:40 It's fake, which I like a real tree, but but Jonathan likes to have the trees that we take in and out, you know, and then they have the lights built in. It was like at first I was like a fake tree cuz growing up we always got real trees. So, it was it was but but now I've I've come to love our our trees and um

31:58 uh but they're decorated like amazingly. I think last year was champagne one of the trees and then this this year that same tree is more like gingerbready.

32:08 It was very Dr. Seuss. And then we have one tree that's like super colorful. And then upstairs we each of the kids have their own trees. They can just make whatever ornaments and like put all those like creative things and they'll no doubt be like really fun cuz the kids always do fun stuff. Um and then Elsa has a little Christmas tree in her room. It's funny because growing up our tree always had these like special ornaments. Now it's more like we have this like decorating. It's a little more like

32:36 polished. Yeah. Like everything is all like the same, you know, it's all on a theme and

32:43 Yeah. It's very well balanced. Yeah. Like they're Yeah. I also read which I'm interested in because we're in the same situation. I presume one of our children wants to act.

32:53 Uhhuh. And sing and act. Yeah. Um, your daughter, they both like to perform. My daughter is very, she she does theater, musical theater. She's a good singer and actor and she likes to perform. It's like she openly likes it. My son

33:12 break dances and he does like to do theater and stuff like that, but then he'll be like, "I don't want it." And then he'll be like,

33:19 "Oh, hey, watch this." And then he'll do like a crazy break dancing move. If he were here and I said, "Hey, Charlie, like, can you break dance?" And he'd be like, "No, no, no." But if he were here and we were ignoring him, he'd be like, "Let me show you a break dancing move."

33:32 Yeah. Watch these flips. Sounds like we have the same rule in the house, which is, "Yeah, when you're an adult, go crazy, but you're not acting professionally."

33:40 Exactly. So, that's was my parents rule because they were in the business. They said to me, "If you want to be an actor, you can get an agent and go to auditions when you're like 16 and can drive yourself right?

33:55 But you're not going to be like a child actor and we're not taking you to set and like but you can do as much theater

34:01 and music stuff and whatever you want to do. Like we just want you to be a kid." We have the same program, but then I I I heard you in an interview today talking about this unexpected thing that has happened, which is

34:15 some of their classmates are on TV. They're in shows or they're in movies and they do leave school and audition and they're in commercials.

34:25 And it is funny cuz my kids will be like, "Yeah, that's Sarah from Yeah. And so in some weird ways it's very out of touch,

34:32 right? Yet they live in this house with professional. It's very weird. I'd imagine for them.

34:37 Yeah. Elsie said to me like, "Well, so and so did a commercial." And I'm like, "Yeah, okay. Well, I'm not their mom. That's great for them."

34:46 But I also am like, "Do you guys want to learn like a ton of lines and be like have thousands of dollars like like you know, going out the window if you don't know them?" Like, I want you to have the experience where you can be a little more relaxed about your prep.

35:05 Yeah. you know, and then you know, and then learn through doing theater and all that. And then by the time you're an actor, if you want to be, you're a professional who comes to set prepared like it's it's a real thing.

35:19 Probably the the kids parents who are in the commercial. The parents are not actors. That's the thing. They don't know like, oh, you should really get your a handle on it now before you need to go be professional or for them it's exciting. Oh my god, you're going to do a commercial and every kid is different. I mean, there are kids like you know when you work with the kid actors that are like you're like you were the kid that's meant to be a kid actor.

35:44 Josh, I'm like so glad. Oh my god. I work with Josh when he was a kid too. Oh, you did?

35:49 Yes. He was at Bridge to Sher. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Yes. Anna, Sophia, Rob too. They were like the kids in this movie and I was like, "You guys are so insanely professional." I think there's like the kids that are kid actors and like I think my kids will like come to the place where they like I just also want them to want to do it, you know?

36:08 Yes. I want to protect going to Northwestern with crazy outfits and not fitting in.

36:14 Yes. That's what I want to protect. I don't want them Yes. being famous at 18 when they're supposed to be getting their ass kicked and confused. I want all the character building stuff.

36:25 Yeah, me too. Yeah. And I I I'm like it's why I like drill all the like I'm be like make sure that we're always polite like when you go to someone's house like that you're not like just assuming you get you know it's like that you say thank you and please and you're very you make sure they know you're happy to be there and like all that stuff. I'm like we have to learn all there's so much to learn without then also having to earn money

36:50 have a job because it's a real job and sometimes like even the most mature kids like

36:56 have a freak out on set. I'm like I don't want that to be my kid. Yeah, I know. I know. You saying that be polite made me think of this other thing that I think is hard to navigate when you have kids and you're on TV, which is

37:10 I need them to know we're getting treated nicer than you're supposed to get treated.

37:15 I know. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. When you and Jonathan go to a restaurant, odds are some people there are going to be excited you're there and they're going to be extra extra dessert.

37:24 Yes. And so I'm like I feel trapped in the situation where it's like it's not their fault. Their real life experiences everywhere we go. People are more excited. But I also need to prep them for the reality of life which is like people are not excited to wait on you.

37:38 Well, they were really little and it was like they were so young. I was like I was on a TV show. Jonathan was on a TV show. Like my sister was on a TV show. My brother-in-law was on a TV show. And they were like they had a friend over and they were like what's your daddy's TV show? Oh my god. Exactly. Standard every go. Not everybody's dad or mom, believe it or not. Also, yeah, grandpa is in the industry. Like everyone

38:06 they thought like everyone had a TV show and I was like, "Oh, no. Okay, we need to make sure they know everyone has different jobs."

38:13 Okay. One thing we we we just grazed on last time you were here, but now I'm way more interested in it and I want to talk more for a minute and it's going to drive Monica crazy, but it also be good.

38:24 It'll be good. Um, ADHD. Yes. Oh, is it going to drive you crazy? Well, she rightly so. Uh, me too. It's on It's in your algorithm,

38:35 right? Like ADHD clips are like that's all anyone sees now. Everyone thinks they have it,

38:41 right? I think I I think I do. And this is frustrating, of course, because it's everyone's self diagnosing.

38:47 No, I I think you do. Okay. And I'll be honest, I now do think you do. You do? Okay.

38:56 But I kind of think this is part of why I don't like it. Okay. I'm going to I'm going to we're going to be honest here on the Christmas episode for one. So, you told maybe you told us last time.

39:05 Yeah. She's talked about it a bunch. Yeah. So I don't have an issue with Zoe because that's a thing that's like been in your life for so long.

39:13 I was diagnosed with like a ser like a ser the thing is is like you have a neurosych when you're a kid and you want to you know you need to be diagnosed because it's it's a whole thing and you have to take a really long test. It's like multiple days of testing and then they diagnose you with with that and usually other learning differences. But but when you're an adult, you all you have to be is like, um, yeah, like I have trouble focusing when I, you know, want to do my taxes, and that's not the same as going through a battery of of tests.

39:44 Thank you. You're actually proving my point. What's your take on everyone thinking they have ADHD?

39:49 Well, I just know that a lot of them aren't correct. Yeah. I I do feel like the way that um our world is right now, it does it's not conducive to people um being able to focus. But the the thing is ADHD isn't isn't a problem with being able to focus. It's it's actually it's it's sometimes it's focusing more than you should on things.

40:13 Yeah. Obsessing. Yeah. You always have something you're obsessed with. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a deep dive like crazy person like but I like that about myself and and and the thing about ADHD is like I usually feel like a lot of actors have ADHD.

40:28 So I'd say if you're an actor uh comedian comedian Yep. I'm likely to think that if you say you think you do that you probably do. Well, as these these memes have taken over my feed, it's just I noticed like, yeah, I would answer yes to a lot, you know, the majority of these things.

40:50 I mean, like, in the best way, like ADHD people are like super magical and awesome.

40:55 Yeah. And I I feel like it it feels like it would make sense if you said that. Okay. Okay.

41:01 Yeah. Um, tell me about brushing your teeth. Yes. Just tell me what's your when you brush your teeth, is that abnormally? Yes.

41:10 So freaking boring. I think it's my most hated exercise. You think it's everyone too, don't you, Monica?

41:15 Yes. It's And guys, okay, here we go. No. Well, nobody likes brushing their teeth. So, so I think the difference is it's like you don't like doing it, but you like do it. I think there's an excruci It's like excruciating. And this why I'll listen to I I'll be like I need an audio book. I love to listen to while I brush and like doing my face products and everything. I'm like,

41:40 but 100%. By the way, again, this is a hard this is kind of hard to do because Zoe really h she really has it.

41:47 Yeah. Yeah. But I to I don't have it. I don't think I don't I You seem neurotypical to me.

41:53 Yes. I don't think I have it. And yet I put on a podcast to brush my teeth and do and do my fa like I I can't or I have to go in the other room and be doing something else. I don't think you're able. I think that's just

42:06 society. We're so like we're so frantic. We're scrolling. We're doing this. We have three three devices on at once. Like it's what we're now used to used to that kind of frenetic energy.

42:20 So maybe at one point I could brush my teeth, but now I can't. And I don't think that means I have ADHD. No, it doesn't.

42:26 It just means I'm living in a headsp space that this world has created. And I think you are too,

42:32 but he does have dyslexia and that is sort of maybe a comorbidity. I mean, he has it. I know.

42:39 I think he's got I think he's part of the a very wonderful club. I know it is a wonderful club, but I have to say the reason now I think you have it. You're not going to like what I'm about to say.

42:49 Did I interrupt? Yes. And obviously that's a thing that we've discussed here a lot because it's like you know

42:56 we can't do it because you know and and yet I can see that you really really can't stop. But my worry is that you are now like well I have ADHD so I'm just not stop.

43:12 That's my fear. That's what I always think there's a deeper thing that people are worried about. So yeah, I'm never going to use ADHD as an excuse for anything. If like I interrupt, I don't I still don't want to interrupt and I don't and then and I'm aiming not to.

43:27 So I understand that there's different reasons why people interrupt. So people can interrupt because they come from a family where everyone interrupts, which ADHD runs of families and like my whole family like has ADHD. So like my family constantly interrupting and it's hard for me too.

43:42 Yeah. But I will say that there's like lots of reasons why people interrupt. But but one of the ADHD one reason why people with ADHD interrupt a lot is because

43:52 you're worried you're going to forget what you're going to say. And you're like, "If I don't say it right now, I'm going to forget." And it's really important. And so it it can be really hard. And people will think it's rude when you interrupt, but it's not. It's like you're just like so excited about what's happening. You you you got to say something, you know?

44:09 Yeah. It's kind of rude because because again, and this is like brushing your teeth, I too have thoughts that I'm like, I'm going to forget it

44:21 because I'm not going to be able to say it right now because they're talking and I'm just going to have to be okay forgetting it so that everyone can have space talking

44:31 and that so that's the right way. I guess I feel like that's a sacrifice that has to be made. Of course, I think there there are some things that you don't want to be using ADHD as a an excuse, but it might be an explanation

44:46 totally for certain things. But again, it is a tricky space to get into where you start being like, well, that's okay. That's why I don't get anything done because I have to get it. It's like, well, no, that's not an excuse to not. You can still get stuff done. You just might have to figure out a new way or something, some different coping mechanisms. And I will say that because I was diagnosed so young and I had educational therapy really young

45:09 that I was like taught like I was in educational therapy like two days a week from the time I was pretty young. And I never felt bad about it or anything. I just knew like some stuff was different for me. But I think I was taught a lot of coping mechanisms which was so helpful

45:27 and I was never medicated. So it was like I didn't need to be medicated. Yeah. I just needed

45:34 some tools tools and to understand like um I need more time than other people to do things. Like I need to build in more time. If I don't wake up like

45:45 2 hours before I have to leave my I'll be like, "Oh my god, running back in the house like 40 times." Like I did it this morning where I was like running back. I forgot the dang bread. My mom brought it over. I forgot the dang bread. I go back in. I'm like, "Oh my god, I need my lip gloss." I

46:02 two things you did need today. So I need but it's like that's the kind of thing I had to run back. I mean and even then I did wake up 2 hours before. I might have woken up 3 hours before and I still like I'm like well you know but

46:15 but like I I need a lot of extra time to like prep myself and to be because otherwise my energy can be frenetic and and chaos

46:26 all over the place. He can say time blindness. Time blindness. is real. I have clots everywhere.

46:33 Uhhuh. Coughs everywhere. Sex is good. Do you have the self abuse? The kind of where like when you error, you really destroy yourself for a long time?

46:42 Yes. And we used to call it like the endless tape of like most embarrassing moments. My sister and I would talk about this. We're like we're like, "Do you have an endless like running video in your mind of like the dumbest [ __ ] you ever did just playing on on repeat?" Like you're in a a place where it's just like, "No, we're never going to stop this. It's always out."

47:04 Yeah. If I just glance over, I can just watch it play out. Yeah. It's always back there.

47:07 Oh, that was dumb. Yeah. I think about stuff I said when I was 8 years old. Me, too. I feel bad about things I said when I was like four.

47:15 Yes. Yeah. Oh, there's this one I think of all the time. It's It means nothing. I think about non-stop. My mom picked me up from school one day and I decided I'm going to sit on the floor of the car in front of the front seat. And I thought it was cool.

47:29 And she was asking me about my day and I was being very aloof because I was feeling like I was very cool.

47:35 I just had this moment of feeling very cool. I think about that all the time. Like how embarrassing. I was acting cool in front of my mom. She was like, "What is he doing? He's sitting on the floor. He's acting like he's like Fonzerelli all of a sudden. Like I had maybe one good day at school or something. I was feeling myself."

47:49 Maybe there's a reason you remember that though cuz that's like oh that was just I was that was a time I was inauthentic and I hated that feeling. I don't want to do that anymore.

47:57 Yeah. Yeah. It's probably like there's a reason some of those stick out. It's so insignificant, right? Like I was acting cool and aloof and sitting on the floor, but like once a week I think about that for 5 minutes and like feel like how do I how do I get that out of my head?

48:10 Yeah. Do I apologize to my mom for this? I'm Hey, remember in ' 84 you picked me up from school

48:16 January 4th. Okay, let's talk about your movie. Okay. Yes. MV. MV. You and Charlie Cox.

48:24 Yes. Daredevil. Yes. The movie is a break. It starts as breaking up. Yes. Tell me.

48:31 So, so it's it's characters that have broken up, but they're sharing a dog, and the dog is depressed.

48:38 He's not taking it well. He's not taking it well. What kind of things is he not doing? He doesn't want to go.

48:43 He doesn't want to go for walks or runs. He doesn't want to He doesn't want to eat. He's like depressed.

48:49 What kind of dog is he? A mut. Like a cute. You have to do a mud I think in modern cinema.

48:55 Yeah, he's a I think they toyed with different dog. I mean, what's harder is that you have to find a bunch of dogs that look just like this special mut that's like, you know, cuz they cast this dog named Gus that's like incredible.

49:09 Yeah, we love Gus. Love Gus. Gus is an incredible dog actor, but then they had to cast like three or four more like dogs that were similar to Gus, but like he's like a big kind of terrier mix mut and it's not like he like if you cast like a Brussels griffon or something, they all look the same pretty much.

49:29 Yeah. You know, some cuter than others, but Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Or not that they all look the same, but like you know, pretty much more or less.

49:36 You can get away with it in a wide shot for sure. This was harder. They had to dye a dog's beard or something. They had other dog. I don't know. They had to like

49:46 make some dogs because they also had to be trained dogs. Yes. They had a special dog groomer that came and

49:53 How old was Gus? I don't know. Okay. How long has he been acting? He's been acting a while. He's he's he's very he's incredibly well trained and and honestly loves sausages a lot.

50:05 And that's his that's what he's working for. Those are the tra see the human food. So they like the human.

50:10 Yeah. Well, they have to give him healthy treats cuz he gets a lot of treats. So they have to give him like healthy

50:16 chicken breast. They love chicken breast. Yeah. They were cooking it up for They're cooking. They're cooking. And they had little They had little like little bags.

50:24 I wondered how old he was because like the I rented a sloth one time to come over for Kristen's birthday party. Oh yeah. Okay.

50:30 Incredible video. How old was the sloth? The sloth was like eight or nine. But as it turned out, once I we met the sloth, the sloth had been an outbreak. It it it had a much better career than either of us had at the time that I hired her to come over to the house for the birthday party.

50:50 Does she still love Floss as much? No. I think I kind of ruined it for her a bit.

50:55 Oh, really? Because I think Well, the world ruined the world. You didn't know what to get her. You got her some of the sloth. I think she got inundated with sloth stuff. So, I think I might have hamp, you know, tamped down maybe her.

51:08 Yeah. You know, when you're a kid and it's like, "Oh my god, I love penguins." And then for the rest of your life, you're if someone sees something with a penguin, they get it for you. I don't really love penguins anymore. I'm 40, right?

51:20 You know, well, my kids both have animal middle names, so like when they were babies, they My daughter's Elsie Otter and my son's Charlie Wolf. And it was like

51:28 nonstop wolves and otter. And I was like, and Elsie goes, "That's not my favorite animal." And I was like, "Well, that's a great animal."

51:36 You're like, "It's my favorite. It's mine." Okay. So, the dog is is is bereff. So, Charlie's character takes the dog on a beach vacation, but then I can't like let go.

51:51 Yeah. But what is the premise of the vac the the vacation spot he's taking the dog?

51:55 It's like It's like a dog beach. It's really cute. There's like we had all these scenes with like millions of dogs. That was so fun and funny. They had like ones where like dogs are like riding around.

52:07 It's a dog movie, a romcom, and kind of like a little bit of a Christmas movie, too. So, it's kind of like all in one.

52:15 It's all in one. Like, any of these things appeal to you? I think you'd be dead inside if not one of those items of Christmas, romance, and puppies.

52:25 Puppies. Now, the scenes with like 30 dogs on the beach, did it take for an eternity to get was there so many dog wranglers and the little clickers?

52:33 That was there was one thing where it's like they have, you know, there's varying levels of dog actors, you know,

52:41 sure like humans. There were there were scenes where they're like establishing dog beach or whatever and it's like it's like they adapt dogs and do this and that and there's always like one dog that's like you know like maybe

52:54 and so maybe it took a little while in certain like I mean Gus Gus is a pro got this is a

53:02 like then some sometimes there will be a dog that's like a dog background actor that's not not an actor really. They're they're more of like a show dog or something like that.

53:10 Let's be real. So they're not as experienced and and so maybe it took a little longer. But I mean it was it was good. I would say

53:18 it it can be challenging to like act a scene and then the dog has to do like blocking and the dog trainers are there and they're like go with go with and then the dog's like but there's a sausage over here.

53:32 So we would always have to have sausages in our pockets to be like smart. I've got a sausage too.

53:38 Oh wow. This is a lot. It's important. That's one thing about um cats are not as good at acting.

53:47 As much as I love them, they're very smart, but they're like, "We do what we want to do." I had one scene on New Girl where there was like a million cats on my car, and that was the craziest. They were like, "The cats just will not

53:59 they don't cooperate." No, they're all just like, hence the term hurting cats. Hurting cats is hard. Cats just do what they want to do. They're very smart, but they they do what they want to do. Dogs will be like

54:10 they want approval. They're more like me and they're more I don't know. My cats aren't super food motivated. There aren't that many things. Like I have one cat that's like no if you have a treat.

54:19 She's suspicious of you. Like she thinks you're trying to get her carry to go to bed.

54:25 Yeah. It's like, you know, you're not supposed to get in a car with the stranger. When they give you candy intuitively not getting in the car with

54:33 Did you feel a little stressed re-entering the Christmas movie space since you are in an iconic one? Well, it happened by accident because I when I read the script, I was just like, it's a cute romcom and I didn't even like notice that it was sort of set during Christmas because it wasn't like the front and center thing. It's more in the realm of like Love Actually or like Die Hard where there's like Christmas in the background.

54:53 It's the context, but it's not about Santa Claus or elves or Christmas specific characters and it's not a Christmas specific plotline. just happens to have these like nice little cozy Christmas vibes. So that's

55:11 that's what how I ended up. But I'm like, you know what? I feel like it's it's great. You know, it's great to have this little sprinkling. It's kind of add cuz you you want to have things that take place during the time when you're reminded how important your loved ones are. You know,

55:26 true. Is it a tearjerker? There might be some some a little bit, but it's it's it's mainly funny, but it has has a few it has a few tear jerky moments.

55:37 Okay, for those you want a couple of tears jerked out. Okay, jerk out. You you might have a tear remove.

55:44 Okay, I'll let you know. But you're not going to be like crying the whole movie. There's no

55:48 And Charlie, there's no death. Is a is a babe. He's a classic babe. Classic. Yeah, I think that'll be working for you a lot in between the cries. Yeah,

55:57 I think you'll be getting excited for Charlie Cox. It's a good romcom. I love a romcom. A dying breed. It

56:04 We need more. We need more. We need more. They're working in the marketplace. It's weird there's not more. Now, I'm going to ask you an annoying question. I think probably everyone does, but because I'm friends with Jake.

56:13 Yes. I just feel like clearly they're going to want you guys to do that show again. Would you ever do that? Would you do it? Yeah.

56:21 Oh, yeah. Yeah. So good. I don't know if Jake would. I mean, he would if if it were like down the street from his house, he would be like,

56:28 "I'll twice a week. I'll give you 12 hours a week." We didn't ask him. We should have asked him.

56:33 Yeah, maybe. That's what I'm saying. We have to ask Max. We'll get them all. We'll get them lined up.

56:38 If you guys get them lined up, but it's like it's probably as big as it ever was when it was out. Yeah,

56:42 I think bigger. Bigger, right? So it was like we had a huge opening and then like you know there there was like a lot of stuff we were like fighting baseball cuz they had the baseball contract on Fox and then they kept like like we had like all this traction and then they kept having to take us off for a week cuz baseball and there was a lot of stuff like that

57:02 where we got a little bit slowed down and and you know in the network TV world it was the fir it was like one of the first years that they were actually you were putting things on Netflix too. cuz they put our show on Netflix the day after it aired. So, we couldn't actually always see really our real ratings cuz a lot of people were watching on Netflix,

57:24 right? And I thought it was such a smart marketing move cuz then people ended up like watching who who, you know, missed it or weren't weren't aware of it. They just see it up on there. So, yeah. I mean, it's hard to even know exactly and then and then yeah, like we were on for a long time, but it felt like we were just kind of chugging along. I think they're good at convincing all of us that the show's barely working.

57:45 Oh, that's like the whole six years on Parenthood. I was like, we're not I don't know if we're going to bring you back. Every all six years.

57:51 Oh, the whole time I kept being like, I think it's a really big hit. I like there's not a day that goes by where I'm not

57:57 people tell me it's so mean so much to them and then they're like, I don't know. It was definitely um

58:04 a weird transition time in network. Yeah. What's the name of the game in the show? Remember the True American.

58:11 Yes, true American. Have they made that into a real game? They should. But, you know, it was it one of our writers, it was a it was a game that she played like with friends in college, but it was actually just a physical game of strength.

58:26 Oh. and a bunch of like her guy friendss would like kind of play this, but it was like kind of like not and then when they introduced it, it didn't really have like instructions like like at first it was like they play true American and then we were like so we just kind of improvised most of it

58:42 to to seem opaque like to seem like it was a game that was really weird. Had no rules made up.

58:48 Yeah. And then people started trying to impose the rules on after the fact which I was like it's kind of a dangerous thing but kind of great.

58:54 Yeah. I miss so good. What a great show. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

59:12 Are we going to sing? I think we are. Yeah. Well, will you sing a song? I will. I want to say that you guys really like willed this in cuz I kept trying to be like I haven't practiced. You're like, we don't care. And you're like, "We'll get you someone to accompany you." And I was like, "Well, you said you said, could you find a keyboard player?" And I was like, "Well, I don't have time." And you're like, "We got one."

59:33 Yeah. Look, we forced you to do this. I was like, "They wanted this much, then I'll do it."

59:38 It's Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Yeah. And I was listening to um She and Him's Christmas. A Merry Christmas.

59:45 Favorite. A very She and Him Christmas. I was listening to this morning the whole time I was researching. Yeah.

59:51 You're going to see a DM from me. That's like I love it. Oh, wait. I'll give you my phone number cuz I erased Instagram from my phone.

59:58 So, I'm not doom scrolling all the time. It really say I have I know so much time now. I mean, no offense to Instagram. There's lots of great things about it,

1:00:08 but but I just erased it and I was like, you know what? Anyone who um needs to get in touch with me will be able to get in touch with me.

1:00:15 Um and I just erased it from my phone and I I I realized there's a whole world Yeah.

1:00:21 Yeah. It's there. And I Tik Tok. I still watch YouTube cuz it's long form and and I like to like learn things like a lot of times they're like educational stuff.

1:00:32 Sure. But like the doom scrolling cuz I used to just like I'd be like I spent two hours

1:00:37 I know watching cat videos. I know I'm telling myself the second we don't do this show that I'm going to

1:00:42 I know that's how I feel. But then it's like there's going to be something else.

1:00:46 But I have someone else post for me. Okay. So, I'm still active like and I still do all the stuff to post. Like I take pictures and stuff

1:00:54 and I say what to post, but I'm not It's not affecting my time and personal life.

1:01:00 I moved it to like the last page on my phone, so I got to go through it, but that hasn't slowed me down in the way I was hoping.

1:01:07 Oh, I did so many things. I was like, and I would break through everyone. I still I downloaded another app that would like

1:01:13 that would was supposed to limit it, but I just be like it'd be like you're blocked and I'd be like and I just get around. I'd be like you have to want it.

1:01:25 So I had to realize like that for me Instagram was so addictive that I had to and Tik Tok so addictive that I had to take it off my phone.

1:01:35 Yeah. Wait, I have to ask one more thing before we sing because it just reminded me. What's on your Christmas um dinner

1:01:42 plate? Okay. Well, I mean, I like chicken. I like chicken. Like, you know, like a good roast chicken. Beautiful.

1:01:53 I like a roasted potato. I love all the roasted I love I love roasting. I love roasted vegetables.

1:02:01 I love roasted beets and all those kind of winter vegetables. I like um Let's see. Yeah. Like I like a roasted potato better than a mashed potato.

1:02:09 Okay. Yeah. What's skin on? Yes. Skin on it. Crispy. I like a crispy crispy almost fried.

1:02:15 Yeah. It's called roasted, but we know there's enough oil on that. It's hot enough that it is basically fried.

1:02:22 Um I like um I like a good salad. I believe salad belongs on the pl on the table

1:02:30 to be enjoyed with all the roasted things. Um, I mean, I'm I'm not turning my nose up at like any of the other Christmas meats.

1:02:39 Okay, great. Um, or a salmon. Uhhuh. Okay. Wow. You were pescatarian for a minute.

1:02:45 I was vegetarian, then pescatarian. Then I realized like I'm allergic to like a lot of the um like fake meat things and like pea protein. Like almost every protein powder I can't eat.

1:02:59 Oh, really? I get like like uh I'll even like um this is from whey protein which I can eat a little bit but I get like the ends of my fingers become cracked.

1:03:10 Oh wow. And I noticed that when I stop eating whey protein it goes away. Huh. Have you tried a um whey isolate?

1:03:18 Oh maybe that's what you need to do cuz I can't have whey. Okay. Yeah. I just can't.

1:03:24 Yeah. And whey isolate. No problem. Okay. You know what I can do is bone broth protein.

1:03:29 Okay, that's great. And they have like chocolate flavor. I mean, it tastes just like a regular, you know, protein powder. But, um, yeah, I'll try the isolate. But, um, yeah. And I can't have pea protein. I'm really allergic to that. I can't have soy protein. I'm allergic to that. I'm like pretty much all the vegetarian things were challenging. And then I was not getting enough protein. So, I now I do eat meat.

1:03:51 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like sustainably. Yeah. And then for desserts. Yeah, I like I like cookies. I'm a cookie. We We thought you're a cookie monster.

1:04:04 Do I have one? I might have to add you. I've got a cookie I have a cookie group chat.

1:04:10 What? Yeah. Oh my god. That's like recipes flowing. No, it's it's just like all the places we've gotten good cookies.

1:04:17 That's even better for you. Way better. Yeah, cuz you like to shop. Yeah, like shopping. Postmates where you can, you know, door

1:04:25 get cookies delivered. You know, Rob makes an incredible Christmas cookie. Really?

1:04:31 Yes. He'll have to give you the recipe. Sorry, Rob, but you have to give your recipe.

1:04:34 Is it like a cutout cookie? No, it's white chocolate cranberry cookie. It's really good. Delicious.

1:04:43 It's so good. You love him, too. I even cheat a little bit. Yeah, you cheat on your gluten.

1:04:48 Well, you'll you might have a piece of the bread. Yeah, I will have a little piece of Yeah. Yeah, I will. I will

1:04:52 toast it. I want to um toast it. I definitely want to show my love to your mother.

1:04:58 You don't have to. I remembered that you were you were sort of avoiding the gluten, but um I still brought the bread anyway.

1:05:05 No, I'm glad you did. But some But but she was like, "Well, some one of them will eat it.

1:05:09 Eat it." Yes. And you can share it. And you know what? If it's like you don't think you can eat all this, slice it and then put it in the freezer. And you know that thing about the bread

1:05:20 that when you freeze it and this is it lowers its glycemic index. It's really amazing.

1:05:26 Kristen freezes all of our bread before family eats it. So you can do that with

1:05:31 Yeah. That's what she actually mostly does. Like she makes her own bread and then we'll freeze it a lot.

1:05:36 Smart. All these all these sourdough people are the same. It's it takes over your whole life. Like our freezer is just full of sliced frozen bread. Yeah. Yeah. We're the beneficiaries of it.

1:05:45 That's right. Okay. We're going to sing. Yeah, we're going to sing a song. Okay. All right. Yes.

1:06:00 Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the U tide gate. From now on, our troubles will be miles away.

1:06:53 Here we are as an olden days. Happy golden days of yours. Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more. And through the years we all will be together. If the fates allow, hang a shining star upon the highest bow

1:07:46 and have yourself a merry little Christmas. And there's a cricket. I know you guys. A cricket joined in the middle. Really sweet. It was kind of like it's night time now.

1:08:17 Yeah. Yeah. The crickets are Do you guys know where this song came from? Tell us.

1:08:22 It was in Meet Me in St. Louie. And the first person to sing it was Judy Garland.

1:08:28 And it's like heartwrenching. Please watch. Yes. She sings it and it's like the family's going to move away from St. Louis.

1:08:38 Oh no. And to New York City and and everyone's sad about it and she's singing it to her baby sister to say like it's going to be okay.

1:08:47 Yeah. It's so beautiful. Watch it. I'm crying. Tears are behind my eyes just thinking about it. You guys, that was beautiful.

1:08:56 Thank you. Thank you so much. This is like amazing. I have one amazing. No, this is how musicians are. They never good enough.

1:09:05 I don't believe in like not having little things that are different. You know what I mean?

1:09:09 I agree. That's what's the beauty. Yeah. There was no fluff. No. No. It was a birthark.

1:09:15 We record in ways so we can't fix mistakes. Like, so I believe in that. Like I like that.

1:09:21 Yeah. That's how we did my last record. That's how both stuff. It's just the take.

1:09:25 Sounds so good. The take is the take. The take is the take. You make that perfection.

1:09:31 Right. And and and I've recorded like I've sung backup or guessed it on people's records and I see how a lot of people do it is that they fix every like line like everything's fixed. And I'm like, you know, it sounds perfect, but it all of a sudden doesn't sound as much like

1:09:47 as interesting you. If you don't have the the the musical throughine, like there's a story to that performance.

1:09:55 Absolutely. I feel that way with click. I No, we don't use click ever when you're seeing a show live. Yeah.

1:10:01 Like even the the record clicks sometimes. I get it. I'm in a session and I'm like, "Okay, at least we can I guess it's simple to keep everyone on the same click track." When you see something live to click, it changes the whole my insides just go like

1:10:15 same. I don't like click. Yeah, I also don't like click. Yeah, I just don't like it.

1:10:22 She had a shirt with click in a big circle. You don't need it. You don't need it.

1:10:26 You don't need it. They didn't have it before. Mhm. They didn't have you guys were talking about it and they don't Jimmy Hendris. He wasn't using click. He was using click. No,

1:10:34 he didn't need his soul. Nobody needs click. I'm going to state the most obvious thing. It's been said all the time about your singing, but it's so just true, which is it's so nostalgic. Like I think I'm hearing about it

1:10:46 the song from 70 years ago. It's Yeah. Very timeless, warm. Thank you. Yeah. Nostalgic. It kind of is bigger than the sound somehow. I just love it.

1:10:59 I'm glad we forced you to do it. You know, and I'm glad that I got to work with you and I'm glad I got to sing for you guys.

1:11:05 And you'll have a little bit more spring in your Christmas step now. I do. You know what? I feel good and I love that song.

1:11:10 Such a beautiful song. Happy to sing it. Thank you, Jacob, for coming back again. Again.

1:11:16 You're amazing. All right. Well, um, merry Christmas to both of you guys. This has been so fun.

1:11:22 Happy New Year. Happy New Year. I just want to urge everyone to see MV December 10th on Prime Video. Check it out. Unless you're allergic to Adorable Dogs, romcom, or Christmas. If you're allergic to any of those three, it's not for you. But if you're a human, you're gonna love it.

1:11:40 And revisit the She and Him holiday album. Pop that on. Yeah, there's two. We have two of them.

1:11:46 Two. Revisit the two. She and him and uh and watch MV December 10th Prime Video.

1:11:53 I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong.

1:12:01 Hi. Merry Christmas time. Look at these fun slacks you're wearing. Yes, I'm wearing um cozy slacks. Rob, you going to come sit? I'm wearing leggings for the winter. These are leggings,

1:12:14 but they're a joguit. No, this is a sweater. Oh, but they have a gusset and a waistband.

1:12:19 Yeah, they have a waistband. Oh, okay. So, there's a difference between leggings and um joggers or pants.

1:12:27 Yeah, these are tight. They're leggings. They're like, "Oh, I thought leggings." What are these?

1:12:34 Bike shorts. No, no. Where the leg is like start starts here and ends here. Oh, leg warmers, maybe.

1:12:43 Leggings. No, this this is a legging. Okay. A legging is a um clothing. Oh, stockings.

1:12:54 Stockings. I like Claus wears. Who wears them? Mrs. Claws. Does she wear stockings?

1:13:02 Probably. What do people wear under their skirts? Stockings. Tights. Tights. Stockings are tights. They just right. Don't

1:13:12 I don't know. I'll tell you this though, Mrs. Claus is, I think, generally horny.

1:13:17 Okay, I looked it up. Stockings are close fitting garments covering the foot and leg from the foot to the thigh or waist. typically made from sheer nylon, silk or other stretchable materials for fashion, warmth, or medical reasons.

1:13:28 Medical reasons distinct from connected panty hose and also refer to large sock shaped bags for Christmas gifts. That's why I was saying Mrs. Claus. I knew stock, you know, the chimney was hung and there were stockings with care or something.

1:13:42 But that's stockings stuffers, right? Whatever. No, those aren't those aren't leggings though. Those are like two

1:13:47 These are leggings. They are leggings. Yes. See, good. I'm glad you had the same. I thought I was on your side when I was saying this. Otherwise, I wouldn't have brought it up.

1:13:55 What did you think leggings were? I just tighter versions of that. And all the way up like a pant.

1:14:02 You could have pockets. I know they are. Yeah. Yeah. For some reason, leggings and mine didn't have a waistband and pockets.

1:14:08 There's no pockets. I know, but you know, you could have pockets. No. Leggings have a waistband. They're all the way up. Like you have Lululemon leggings.

1:14:19 They're elastic. Elastic. This is This is Do they call him Lulu Leggings? They should. Um, okay. Well, it's our Christmas episode for the core team. Here he comes. The reindeer.

1:14:35 People complain. I know we're over, but people complain. What are you doing? I see.

1:14:48 But now it's evolved to just Oh my god, people complained. Yeah, I didn't do it last year.

1:14:58 Oh, last year. Yeah, somehow I forgot to do Elvis last year. That is shocking. And four people complained and a million people were grateful. So, I'm going to definitely make

1:15:08 So, you bridge the gap. I thought that people complained that you would do it and you're going to do it anyways.

1:15:12 So, you would imagine that would be a complaint, but I have to say I've never read that complaint and people are willing. They're free flying with their complaints as we know.

1:15:21 Sure. You know that. I We all know that. So, can we ask um what everyone's success rate was because I've been very unsuccessful

1:15:30 with our gifts. Yeah. Like shipping. I was Okay, I'll go first. Ladies first. Ladies first.

1:15:37 Um I was very nervous about one of them. It was I ordered it over a week ago from a place that's very close by. So that was a mistake. I should have just gone. When I called, they were like, "Oh, we could have just messaged it to you." And I was like, "Okay, I wish I knew that." Um, and it wasn't coming. It wasn't coming. And then I kept getting the FedEx stickers where it came and left and came and left.

1:16:05 It required a signature. Yes. And I kept trying to change it and I couldn't change. They should outlaw signature required. It's my number one grief.

1:16:12 Do you ever try signing it and then writing on it, please leave this? I have done it. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. They have to follow the law.

1:16:20 Well, they're not willing to lose their job over making you happy. And I wish you could declare on FedEx and UPS and USPS. See, that

1:16:28 I'm like, I'm done. Yeah. I don't give a [ __ ] if it's stolen. I think instead of it defaulting to it is a signature, it should default to there's no signature and you click it. If you are someone who's like, I need this,

1:16:42 I think whoever you bought it from, they like to require a signature so that they don't ever get blamed.

1:16:49 That's what that's what it is. But I'm saying it should be reversed. So anyway, it I I cancelled an appointment to stay at home on the day that I was like, "It's supposed to arrive today." And

1:17:01 you sat at home all day long. I did. And it did arrive. Thank God. Ah. So I signed for it.

1:17:08 It makes me think of the guy who knocks on the door and then they pull it open and he's still holding the handle in vacation, Christmas, vacation. He's holding the

1:17:17 the gift from his boss he's been waiting for. But somehow he's holding he's like clinging cling cling. And then when they open, he's like holding that in the wreath. I think he's like, "I'm sorry. Forgot to do this."

1:17:28 Your favorite movie. Yeah. Christmas movie. Your favorite Christmas movie. Yeah. Well, my situation was I uh ordered you a bunch of things that were coming from

1:17:39 Yok. New York. Oh. And New York. New York. The New York airport. And I had loads of time. When I ordered it, they were going to be here like two weeks ago.

1:17:51 M. And this that's an exaggeration. A week and a half ago. Okay. And then it was like, hey, it's going to be later. It's going to be later. Then, hey, we're not even going to send one of these things. Like, we can't find this. Yeah, that's done.

1:18:04 Was it a limited edition item? Well, clear. It's a no edition item. I really want it.

1:18:10 They had it on their website, but they didn't have it in their stock room. So, okay. So, I ordered those and those are ironically, if we believe the app is going to be here at 2:30.

1:18:22 Oh, wow. That's exactly when we're done recording after all this me watching it every day and tracking it every day.

1:18:29 Stressful. But then even worse, and this is my fault, and this applies to both of you, is then I then ordered a lot of stuff off Amazon. And what I [ __ ] It's my fault. I got to double check when I order stuff,

1:18:43 okay? cuz I order stuff to Tennessee so much. Oh yeah. So yesterday I started getting all those alerts you get from Amazon like in your email. Delivered, delivered, delivered. And I'm like great. I go outside. Nothing there. I'm like what the [ __ ] Open up to take a picture and that's that's Mount Juliet.

1:19:00 Oh [ __ ] So about five things are in Nashville for you. Three things for you. But yours were just cute things to make this thing better. But it is heartbreaking cuz I really thought it was something cute. So anyways, I entered this having really failed and I'm ashamed and embarrassed.

1:19:16 Okay. That I failed everyone. Now, are you going to tell us what they are? Yes. So that's my question. Your [ __ ] gets here, you know, after we start recording the our next guest.

1:19:26 Yeah. But I feel like I should tell you. Okay. Just like write on a piece of paper or print it off picture of it.

1:19:36 What if I just hand you my phone? email and I'm like from here's a clue from Burgdorf.

1:19:42 Oh [ __ ] Just hand you a That is from New York airport. Exciting. Oh, no. I I This is great. That means I have presents to come.

1:19:54 You do? And then also when I return home from Christmas vacation. More presents.

1:19:59 Yeah. I'll be bringing back all this stuff and I'm going to describe to you some of the cute things I got.

1:20:04 And Rob, how did it go for you? Mine was good. Um, one of them's a one of them's a big swing.

1:20:09 Oh, for me. Which one? It'll it'll be obvious. Yeah, it'll be obvious. What if it's a boyfriend?

1:20:19 What if it's What if it's a mold of his penis? Wow, that is a big swigatively and literally, I heard from Natalie.

1:20:30 So, who goes first, the youngest? How do we do it? Yeah, Rob should go first. All right. Well, I mine's two-part, so I'm going to view your gift.

1:20:37 No, you receive first. Yeah, you should receive first. Do you want to receive from Dax or I? Ooh, big question.

1:20:44 I I just close my eyes a point so that I don't have to pick. At random. Youngest goes first.

1:20:50 Okay. So, yeah. Give him your present. Okay. Okay. Give Robbie his present. There's writing There's writing on the back of that card.

1:21:02 Okay. Oo, that's a good sign. This gift is in honor of friend of the pod, Curtis Duffy.

1:21:12 Oh, sneaky mouse. Sneaky. Squeak, squeak. It's in a Nikki Kho box. Yeah, that's a red herring.

1:21:22 That's nice wrapping paper, too. Nice and thick. Yeah, that's paper source. A reused app.

1:21:27 Yeah, put that in a pile. It's a gift within a gift. I love how many grandmas would go home from Christmas with a bunch of wrapping paper.

1:21:33 I know. And it's all creased up. I don't get it. That's not great. So, we've got a Max and Helen's hot sauce.

1:21:43 Yeah. Oh, that's from your new favorite place. Yes. Okay. Update. I got in. You got She got in.

1:21:49 And it was so good. It was so good. I panicked as soon as I sat down that I was never going to be able to get back in. And so I was like, got to order so many things.

1:22:01 We saw you postmeal at Lily's and when you were saying everything you ordered at one point, I was like, well [ __ ] four of them must have got it. And I was like, how how many folks went is just you and Jess?

1:22:16 Just me and Jess. You had about seven entre, right? Five or seven. Got a tuna melt. Highly recommend the tuna melt. Oh my god, it was so good.

1:22:26 Oh my tuna melt. Oh my tuna. We agree. Tuna melt doesn't sound appetizing even though it can be appetizing.

1:22:32 Cuz you don't like fish in general. I think I think to a lot of people tuna melt sounds nice.

1:22:36 It melted fish. It's not. The fish itself isn't melted. There's cheese on it that's melted.

1:22:42 I know. But tuna melt you you're biased on your There's cheese on the tuna melt.

1:22:47 Yes. That's what You've never had one. You never had a tuna melt? I don't like tuna either. And

1:22:51 Oh my god. Well, okay. Not for either of you. No, I do like a tuna fish. Well, I like raw tuna. You can tuna guitar, but you cannot tuna fish.

1:23:00 Okay. Okay. Highly recommend the tuna mel. We got an ham and cheese omelette. That was an addition at the end. I wanted it.

1:23:08 Now, really quick, I would never ever order an a ham and cheese omelette from a place I've heard is great because how the [ __ ] can you make it better? Like a ham eggs, ham, and cheese. No, but it was it was it was several standard deviations

1:23:23 because the type of ham they were using very thin or mad fluffy egg too. Fluffy egg. The cheese I think was griier. That was a last minute add-on. That was like, okay, we've eaten, but we got to try the ham and we got to try it. Okay, so we got a moatza ball soup. Amazing.

1:23:43 We got a um Oh, we got a toast. No, we got a egg sandwich. Like the breakfast sandwich. They upsold us on the waffle. We were not going to get a waffle, but they were like, "Do you want a waffle? Just like start."

1:23:57 Yeah. And we were like, "Uh" I was like, "Do we need to get that?" And he was like, "We're known for our waffles."

1:24:03 Wasn't that good in our toast? It was so good. I was so glad we had it. And I don't even love I don't even like waffles.

1:24:10 Waffles. I like them, but I'm never ordering them. I'm never ordering them. I'm normally gonna go pancake over waffle.

1:24:17 Oh, and then hot chocolate. They're known for their hot chocolate. It's called Lily's Hot Chocolate.

1:24:23 Oh my goodness. And um Well, because Lily is Phil's daughter. That's right. She runs and owns it with her husband. She was there. And then um and then an egg cream. Do not sleep on the egg cream.

1:24:38 Tell me what an egg cream is. Oh my god. Oh boy. Oh my god. Do you need a second set of leggings? Yeah, I need to go. I'm going to get stockings next. Then you'll really see stuff. This will see through. Do you know about egg creams?

1:24:54 I don't think so. Okay. They're a drink. They come in like a milkshake glass. And but they It's kind of like a milkshake.

1:25:03 It's like a 50s thing, right? Yeah. Eggnogy. No, it's like a milkshake mixed with a seltzer kind of like it's it's almost bubbly. It's very light. Oh my god, it was so good. It was uh Jess got it and I took a sip and I was like,

1:25:21 "Oh no, I need one on the way out." Yeah, but I was so full. I didn't get one on the way out, but it was Don't sleep on that. Vanilla. We got vanilla. There's also a chocolate.

1:25:30 Okay. That's what of all the things you mentioned, that's what has me most excited to go there.

1:25:34 The egg cream. Yeah. It's so good. Cuz I've don't I've never had an egg cream. Well, can you talk about the waffle some more?

1:25:40 Sure. What kind of What's up with the waffle? It was I love a waffle. I do too. It had like swear words.

1:25:47 It had like a yummy butter on top. It had like crispy. Yeah, it was crispy. It was crispy but also thick and somehow fluffy in the middle but crispy.

1:25:58 Yeah, that's the best kind. It was amazing. Anyway, highly recommend. I It's I know it's so annoying cuz it's 1,800 hours the wait, but

1:26:08 Best 1,800 hours you could ever spend. I was happy that you're you're at a risk for these restaurants that you go in and it's going to be like, oh, it's like highutin diner food, which is not what you want when you go to a diner. You want diner food. And it was it was like classic diner food, but everything just tasted better than it would at a regular diner. So, man, oh man. Anyway, the hot sauce. We got the hot sauce, too. Oh, we got home fries that came with the hot sauce, and it was so good. So they sell that.

1:26:40 All right. Okay. Next present. And some of Mindy's hot chocolate. Incredible. Has her own.

1:26:47 This is Mindy from Chicago. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. She has It was a restaurant we all went to.

1:26:54 That was amazing. And she moved into bakery. Oh, okay. And makes incredible hot chocolate and cookies and

1:27:03 baked goods. Goodies. And let's see some caramel. Salted caramels. Caramels. Salted caramel.

1:27:12 Please pronounce it correctly. Duck butter. From where? What is It's just French. I don't know. These are from Buatini, a really cute little shop in Echo Park

1:27:22 and everything there is so cute. I love salted caramels. I know that about you.

1:27:28 Now, are you saying caramel for her? What would you normally say? Salted. I honestly Yeah, I bounce back. That's

1:27:35 I think what you said caramel's immediately off right off the So I saw you say I think I feel pretentious if I say caramel.

1:27:43 Me too. Wow. I find that so counterintuitive and I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Caramel.

1:27:49 Oh, these are nice. Some serving spoon cuz Rob is a I don't know if people can tell. This is a food packaged gift.

1:27:57 Yeah, these are all great food items. Look at those. And then a card. There's a card. Oh, ever in Chicago. Thank you.

1:28:06 A meal forever in Chicago. But I don't know when you're going to go cuz I don't know when you're going to be there.

1:28:10 He's out of Chicago just like you. Now he calls LA home. Unfortunately, that's true. But

1:28:16 he's still going to go there. No, I go. I just don't go during high traffic times.

1:28:20 Yes. I reached out to them and I told them the situation and I said, "He's not going to be there for the holidays, but when he's there next, can he reach out and can we do this?" And they said, "Yes."

1:28:29 Awesome. Well, thank you. You're welcome. restaurant ever. Kurt Curtis's restaurant.

1:28:34 Curtis's restaurant. I'd go I don't even care about going to eat there. I'd go just in hopes of seeing him.

1:28:39 Yeah, cuz I liked him so much. He was a good boy. Remember when he taught us though about that in a martini glass or some sort of appetizer, but then he puts this very thin piece of sugar or something on top and then there's something so it looks like it's floating. Do you guys remember that?

1:28:53 I mostly remember the family side. I mean, that's the memorable part. That was a big part of that.

1:28:58 Yeah, that's what I want to see. I mainly remember the sugar. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay, now Rob. Oh, we want to go round again. Let's

1:29:07 do round again. Well, that makes kind of sense. I have a lot of siblings. So, yeah. Why don't you go?

1:29:12 So, you're the next oldest. I'll open from Rob. What if like I just now I tell Well, that's not I got to There's something first before you open that.

1:29:22 Oh, I think mine is the big screen. Okay. All right. You ready? Yeah. Oh, he's got to go away. What is living

1:29:30 A PUPPY? OH MY GOD. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. Wait a minute. This would be a big swing.

1:29:49 Oh my god, there's something on screen. What? There's a video. Monica, THIS IS YOUR DREAM. NO.

1:29:54 A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME. I am caring. I care a lot. No, no, not with this little horn face.

1:30:02 I'm ruggedly handsome. Oh my god. I'm an intellectual. I I know a lot about a lot of stuff. I have a very high EQ. I even have a PhD. Uh does he

1:30:15 quite cultured? Uh then he wanted a boyfriend. I think of myself as having an evolved masculinity. Uh, I've got uh a lot I'm heavy breasted. And by that I don't mean that I have big boobs, but I have a lot of boobs.

1:30:32 Unusual for a man, I know, but it's still uh somehow masculine or at least boine. I I think of myself as being very comfortable with women in power. As a matter of fact, I prefer women to be in power. I prefer them to be uh whipping me. In fact, I love

1:30:54 to support I think of myself as a as a bra, as just a a big intergalactic bra. I am well over 6 feet tall, 7 feet. In fact, I don't own a dog. I cannot stand dogs. I'm a cat person. I am a kitty cat person. I have a uh I mean I'm a little bit country and I'm a little bit rock and roll. WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR is a caretaker. I

1:31:23 He's actually getting me there. No, I want somebody to to to to change me. Yeah.

1:31:28 Uh not telling him what I want, but to change my my my bedding and also my pants. I'm currently unemployed and I am unemployable. Uh, I've been told that I'm morbidly obese and I I can't stop smoking. I've been smoking by I That is a That is a do or die. I have to smoke cigarettes almost constantly. And I also smoke cigars at the same time. And uh, you know, I I'm willing to move in. I'll give it a shot. I I'll come. I own a ferret. And you know, like I don't know if you've seen the movie Beast Master, but you can think of that. So, I'm just a beast master bra and owning uh unemployable, MORBIDLY OBESE GUY.

1:32:17 ANYWAY, WOW. I can't wait to meet you, Monica. I cannot wait to meet you. I think you know me as the Berserker Blowar.

1:32:28 Oh my god, he's in the full regalia. OH. OH, HE JUST BLEW A KISS. WOW. WOW. It's good that we heard him before we saw him. It's kind of like Beauty and the Beast. You want to like get to know his spirit first.

1:32:43 It's true. Before you see the horns and the mini breasts and the Oh, that's fantastic.

1:32:51 Wow, Rob. And then and that's his genitals. This is a stick. That's one of his seven penises.

1:32:59 Well, that was fantastic. I Oh, it's gore wrapping paperish. I mean, not officially branded, but there's demons on it.

1:33:07 Demons. Well, that that was really something. That's incredible. Really, you always outdo yourself.

1:33:12 Kir, I mean, I don't know. Guess what? He's funny. He's really funny and he's clearly quite smart.

1:33:19 He's a PhD, he said. Oh, PRETTY HUGE DICK. OH, WOW. IS THAT A THING? YEAH, it's from friends. But if he loves friends,

1:33:27 that's better than a pretty huge dick or a PhD. That was great cuz we I was distracting her.

1:33:37 No. Oh my god. Oh god. What do we have in here? Talk about a big swing. What do we have?

1:33:46 Uh, so these are his utters. Oh, he sent them. He sent his sack of penises. Whoa. I was joking so many times. Really?

1:33:55 I'm like I'm afraid to touch it. Oh, don't be don't be. Oh, and a and a really like a cute little action figure.

1:34:05 Oh, wow. You know me so well. So, he wears one of his sacks that he wears. Oh my god.

1:34:15 This is This is This is an actual That's going to look beautiful in your new house.

1:34:20 Maybe above your bathtub. Your new bathtub. Wow. So, he wears this on his around his penis. No, it's around his genitals cuz I think sub sprays out of them during the show.

1:34:32 Yeah, they're they're uh functional. Oh my god. Oh yeah, sure. They've been used

1:34:37 as a whole. They've been used. Yep. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you, Rob. This was quite a gift.

1:34:47 Wow. Oh my. We might need to hang Put it. Yeah. Well, we have a red band over all of YouTube.

1:34:55 Well, that was great. Wow. Exciting. Thank you. Let me take What an experience.

1:35:01 Am I the next oldest? Yes, you are. Okay. Eeny meen miny. Okay. Are these both for me?

1:35:07 Yes. That one's from me. Open from Rob. Okay. Okay. Maybe it's closest. He's youngest.

1:35:13 And he's youngest. We We honor youth year. Yeah, we do. I like that ribbon. That's Paper Source, too.

1:35:22 Oh, Paper Source. My grandmother sponsor us. Save the [ __ ] out of that. It's gonna be blue.

1:35:31 I got to open it for the first time. The tape is portal open. Oh, it's already been open. Okay.

1:35:37 Flal. Speaking of stockings, that's what I thought. Stockings. Speaking of big swing, what is happening? Florida mall is a very nice ding.

1:35:49 Bless it. What is Florida Mall? It's a It's a lingerie company. Beautiful lingerie company. Yeah.

1:36:01 Oh, that's it was a It was a red herring. What is it? What is it? I'm now I'm sad and

1:36:06 You're sad and mad. Uh-oh. Rob. Uhoh. Rob. God's true cash. A button down. I don't have any of this.

1:36:20 It's beautiful of these kind with that aren't flannel. It's black and it's um And it's gorgeous.

1:36:30 Oh my god, Rob. Did you sell your house? Are you homeless? This is really beautiful.

1:36:40 Wa! With the purple buttons. Yeah, the purple buttons are lovely. Oh, what are they called? They're gems. They're stones. They're rocks. There's something very special about the buttons on these.

1:36:50 I think Brad hand makes the buttons. He does. Yeah. Oh my heavens, Rob. Thank you.

1:36:59 Beautiful. Oh my goodness. Okay, Rob. Next. My present. Yeah. All right. So, you're going to want to

1:37:08 open it like this. You're going to want to remove that piece and then peel it back. Diarama.

1:37:15 Wow. It has a pretty It has a face. And it was going to be a spectacular diarama, but a lot of the items made their way down to Nashville.

1:37:24 All right. Uh oh, I see. Oh, San Francisco and Chicago. It says Levis's on the front. That's Levi Stadium.

1:37:36 In the gold dots is front row tickets. Amazing. Thank you. I can't see anything. Uh, it's the Bears. The closest they get to LA is San Francisco.

1:37:47 How fun. And he'll be there over Christmas. And we're going to be right there. Oh, that's awesome.

1:37:52 Calvin and I are going to road trip from Tahoe to San Francisco. Can I tell you what was going to be so cute? So, I ordered bobbleheads. So, I had a um Chicago Bears bobblehead that was going to be in the end zone and then a 49ers bobblehead. And then I found a Elliot who I think Rob looks so much like Elliot from ET. Oh,

1:38:10 with his little ET. And that was going to be Calvin and Rob sitting on the front row of that stadium. But those are all on my porch. And

1:38:19 that's amazing. Thank you very much. So welcome. Wow. I love it. Cute. That took some You took some You did some printing.

1:38:29 Yeah, it was going to be really great with the bobbleheads, but we get the picture.

1:38:34 Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. You're the next youngest from you. Okay. I don't even know how to pronounce it, but your friend Callie knows how to.

1:38:43 Okay. So, I basically bought you the entire line of Lel candles. What? Yes. Minus the one they didn't have in stock.

1:38:56 Okay. But it's a whole array. Wow. And then I got you like I got you wig trimming things. They're in Nashville. I got you cute little mice

1:39:06 that um holders. Cute. I got you this really cool antiquequy thing that's both a snuffer outer and a lighter.

1:39:13 Oh my. For the candles. So, it's a one-stop candle extra extravaganza for your house.

1:39:21 My goodness. Lee makes the best candle. I'm such a Philistine. I text her and said, "Does Monica like dip teique candles?" I was like, "Going to get you a bunch of those really nice dipes."

1:39:35 And she said, and I think this is her being nice. She's like, "She does." And she also like loves whatever. I'm like, "Got it. Definitely pick the other one."

1:39:46 Wow. She's good. She's good. Oh my. Thank you. They're very special candles. Cucumber, tomato. Uh, the beeswax was the one that wasn't there. That was one I was most excited about.

1:40:00 Oh, dang. Beeswax. That's all right. I don't see boring. Yeah. Okay. Like kill a bunch of bees to make it. [ __ ] school. [ __ ] homework. Yeah. Fun. Oh, I can't wait.

1:40:10 Well, 2:30 you'll have Oh my gosh, I can't wait. Okay, now you for me. Okay. And also yours says something on the back of your little card, too.

1:40:20 Okay. Did you draw this picture? I wish. But I thought of you cuz it's a muscular man.

1:40:25 It's a muscular man. It appears to be a dumbbell. Yep. On the bottom. And um on Rob's card, it was an orchestra man because Rob likes music

1:40:34 with the triangle. Yeah. Ed Grimley style. Okay. Two DAXs. This gift is in honor of friend of the pod Brad. You know what's funny though? Weren't we just saying the other day is like you get you you liked an elephant once. Like my father likes elephants. So every single present he ever got. You were saying it about your dad. This is what happens. Yeah. Now, I want to counteract that narrative with if everyone's just like he loves God's true, I ain't complaining.

1:41:10 That was that was for this episode. It was Zoe talking about otter for their daughter.

1:41:16 Oh, it was good. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah. I mean, this wrapping paper's like cloth. Is it God's true?

1:41:24 It is. It is. So, you should keep it. I'm a tiny bit worried you have it. And if you do, we'll figure it out. I do not.

1:41:33 You don't. I thought the red was really nice. Yeah, that's what I was scared of, too. I was like, I can't get a flannel cuz I don't know

1:41:41 which ones he has. I thought that would look very nice on you. I'm going to cut wood in this cuz that's a very masculine lumberjack.

1:41:51 It does. It looks lumberjack, but it's it's God's truth. Yeah, it's for a [ __ ] lumberjack like a gentleman.

1:41:59 A Hollywood lumberjack. Gentleman lumberjack. You got you guess who knew God's true?

1:42:07 Oh my gosh. What a winwinwin. We didn't even talk about it. What if we gotten the same one? I would have

1:42:14 What if he got you the same thing? You're always trying to put a positive spin on everything during presents. You're like, great, I have one that I can spill on.

1:42:24 Oh my god, you guys. I feel not worthy of these beautiful presents. I don't either. I definitely don't feel worthy of this penis.

1:42:33 A trip penis. It's a quad. Try penis top. It's a quad. Try penis top. Wow. Good job.

1:42:43 I love Christmas. I love Christmas. It's so fun. I love it. But I do want to I want to see

1:42:48 You want to bring it down? I do. No, I want to I want to be grateful. We got a huge honor a couple days ago.

1:42:55 Oh my gosh. Yes, we got um a Christmas miracle. We really did. We as a team are nominated for Golden Globe for this very show.

1:43:05 Who could have imagined eight years ago? And I just want to say cuz it if by some strike of lightning we win, this will not be in this speech. Um we have we're here for two reasons. We got this for two reasons. Um the insane vulnerability of our guests.

1:43:25 Yes. Like that's the gift 100% big deal. We could be being vulnerable all day long and people like suck one

1:43:32 suck one of the four. Take your pick. And then equal to that is how many people listen and share and love and talk about.

1:43:41 It's the listeners and they it really you guys gave me my first nomination. It's so nice. It's the listeners. They they they're with they're loyal and we're so grateful and they keep us going.

1:43:55 Yeah. I do want to share the moment because it's a very funny I while it was happening or right after it happened I'm like yeah definitely remember this for the rest of my life which is you know I have this ironclad morning routine well I go to bed on Sunday and I know these announcements come out at 5:00 a.m. I know we're on the list of 25 that are eligible I did some roundts and stuff and participated in the whole

1:44:19 Yeah we did a press conference did a press conference so I know 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning this news comes out. So I wake up on Monday and I am already committed like we're not deviating from our routine like that would a be um bad luck and I'm superstitious.

1:44:37 Yes. So I do the I make the coffee, I do the meditation, I do the journal. So now a good hour's gone by and and always on Monday. Then I turn, as soon as I put my journal down, I then grab my phone and I go through the clips Rob sent and I post whatever Monday's episode is and I put my journal away and I looked at my phone and my heart like literally skipped a beat where I was like, "Oh my god, man. I'm going to look at the phone and there's either going to be 40 messages, text messages, or zero text messages as normal in the morning." Mhm.

1:45:14 And that moment before grabbing that phone, knowing it was going to be that obvious was the most specific weird

1:45:21 feeling ever. And more anxiety. I'm a pessimist, so more anxiety than excitement.

1:45:28 And then I picked it up and I opened it up and I saw like right away I had like I don't know 15 or 20 text messages.

1:45:35 And I immediately just cried. Oh, five or six tears of like relief and and joy and elation and I just can't believe it.

1:45:47 Yeah. And then I start looking at the text and the first one is you and I'm like, "Oh my god, Monty was up at 5 cuz you were up at what 450."

1:45:55 Okay. Yeah. So, I didn't Yes. Same situation. I know it's coming. I had already talked to Wry. Shout out Wry. Thank you.

1:46:03 Yes. Um, I had been talking to them and they were like, "Okay, so if it happens, um, could you guys maybe do a little video?" And we were like, and you know, I said, "Sure."

1:46:16 And I said, "You know, just we're not going to be up at 5." That was the email.

1:46:21 Yeah. We're not going to be up at 5, but like we'll do it in some hours. And then I said, "Can you text me?" Not you can wonder. It's like, "Can can you just text me and let me know?" And and Alice shout out was like even if you don't get it.

1:46:38 And I was like, "Yes, yes, it's okay. I want to know. Let me know." And then I thought like, you know what's funny? I really was like, "It doesn't matter. I don't like it. We're we're fine." I said to her, I was like, "It's fine. We're fine in a way. Like we we're

1:46:53 we're happy with this show." Being in the first 25 was already blew my kind of mind.

1:46:58 Exactly. That already felt like such a validating moment. Yes. So then um but so like you know I was like oh it's tomorrow. Okay. And I was talking to my parents and I was like oh you know we might be I don't know we're in the top 25 for a Golden Globe. We find out tomorrow and they were like what? And and then so I got a little bit antsy when they did that. And I went to bed and I was like yeah I'll just wake up at 8 like normal and see. And then my body woke up at like 4:30 and was just like ready. And I was like, "Oh no. Oh no. I guess I I care more than I than I think."

1:47:35 I relate so much cuz And I'm not lying. There's no like ego protection in my waking hours. I'm fine either way. It doesn't make us break us. It's It would be a lovely icing on the cake, but it's not a thing.

1:47:48 Yeah. My subconscious feels differently, I guess, because for three nights leading up to that Sunday morning, I was having all these weird anxiety dreams. And so somehow that's in my subconscious, like that's not in my waking

1:48:01 Yeah. existence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it was 4:30 and I was like, "Oh, no. But I'm not going to look. I I'm going to try to go back to sleep, but I'm not going to look." And I obviously did not sleep for that. And I just And at one point, I was like, "I'm going to look." And then we had a a nice text. And then yeah, I texted you and I said,

1:48:19 "So, what was your like visceral body reaction?" I was very grateful for everything. It was just like, "Oh my god, how cool to be recognized in the first of of this category. It's like that's so special. Look what we made." It was more of that, like look what we've done.

1:48:42 I could really like tap into that. like, "Oh my god, we we've done something very cool and I'm proud of it and I'm proud of all of us." So, that was the feeling. And then I texted you and I said, "Let me know when you wake up. We have a video to make."

1:48:55 And then we made one. We made one. And I'm just not I got to I should have called Rob first. I know how to record my screen. So, it was easy. Record my screen. FaceTime you. We have a fun chitchat. This is great. Send it to you. You You text me back like, "Hey, where's the audio?"

1:49:12 No audio. Oh, that voice memo, too. Oh, you got to do them both at the same time.

1:49:16 I think that'd be the move. That didn't work out. Yeah, that didn't work out, ironically.

1:49:21 Yeah, that's okay, though. And that's okay. Um, but it was it was a fun day. Super fun day. Super duper fun day. Um,

1:49:29 I'm going to credit you for um bringing your state championship winner spirit. I think I think we're riding on your Yeah,

1:49:37 I had lost my softball championship the day before. Oh, you had? So it was not for me.

1:49:43 You were honest. You were worried. You were like, "Oh no." Well, I forgot it was even happening.

1:49:48 Did it dig you out of your hole? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you care more about this or the softball?

1:49:53 Be honest. I cared more about this. I was saying gratitude softball. Although I I woke up at like 5:30 to the text messages.

1:50:03 Yeah. And I said I told Natalie and she just grunted and put her blanket over her.

1:50:09 Yeah. That's appropriate. That's right. Yeah. Well, I also So, yeah, I I saw that and I saw the text. I was so excited. I FaceTime you and then I'm like, "Okay, well, a it's time for me to take the kids to school."

1:50:20 And then also, I'm going to probably tell them. Yeah. And then I was like on my way to do that. I was like, "Oh, I better check and see if Kristen was next." I don't want to walk down there like, "Hey, check me out." And then I don't say congratulations to her.

1:50:34 And then so I was kind of nervously scrolling through. So I was, "Okay, good. We're good." Yeah. So then has one and her show has one as well.

1:50:42 Very exciting. It'll be a real family affair at that event. Big time family affair.

1:50:47 I'm proud of both of you and I'm glad to be doing this with the both of you. Yeah, man. I would never I would never in my life have gotten nominated for uh Golden Globe without you two. There it's just that simple. It's black and white.

1:50:58 I know. We all came here. Well, we did. Me and you came here. I used to watch that show and dream dream my little heart out of walking that red carpet and being there and I'm doing it.

1:51:11 Are you going to wear your leggings back door? Back back door. Um, no. Look, I'm the fashion. I'm stressed.

1:51:20 God, stress. I thought you would be the most excited you've ever You're like you're dying for a gala. Well, this is the gala of all [ __ ]

1:51:25 gall. But I I have to I want I want to get it perfect and I want a dress that You want to win best dressed.

1:51:33 Yeah. And like the dress is You want to sweep the Golden Globes. Best dress. I want them all. I want all

1:51:40 No, it's it's political. You know, the fashion world's very political. Who will style who? And the dresses like they're most of them are probably already gone to, you know, big people. And I want to I want to look good. And I am stressed, but I'm excited.

1:51:58 I'm not stressed. I'm pretty confident. You're gonna look great. Thank you. So, big thanks to everyone. Yeah. Um, and merry Mary and happy new year. We'll see you guys next year.

1:52:11 Let's do some facts. Let's do some nice. Fantastic. Okay. Now, what is the name of the lady whose legs got burned by the hot coffee?

1:52:24 Oh, good. Okay, we should shout her out. Yeah, I don't it I don't think she's probably still with us.

1:52:30 I don't either. Yeah, that was in the 80s. It was 92. Oh, it was 92. Yes. She suffered thirdderee burns. Um her name is

1:52:40 Hopefully Stella Liebeck. She's so likable if you watch the documentary. She was 79.

1:52:47 That's my point. She was, you know, she's 80 then, that was 30. She died 11 years ago.

1:52:52 She died 11 years ago. Maybe some complications from broken heart, I think. Oh, Jesus Christ, you guys. Happy holidays.

1:53:02 She was so sweet. And she didn't want any money. She just wanted her legs fixed.

1:53:06 God. Yeah. She was 79 in her grandson's car passenger. This story is so sad. I know. And also, it was kind of pitched to us as it was like reckless.

1:53:17 Yeah. But she uh they pulled over into a parking spot and she picked the thing up and then the, you know, the lid fell off.

1:53:23 Yeah. Man, it splashed all over her thighs and just Can you imagine if you were with your grandma and your grandma's leg walked in there and pulled the person operating the car? I would have walked in there and jerked it off the wall.

1:53:35 I wouldn't have hurt a person, but I would have flipped. If my grandma Yolas had been hurt, I would have [ __ ] ripped that whole machine out.

1:53:41 I know. Like, what the [ __ ] is wrong with you guys? Look at my grandma Yololis's thighs. She was named after Ulissiz Srant. She's an important woman. Okay,

1:54:03 that's true. Do you know that? That's so weird. I didn't know that. Yeah, that's really really cute.

1:54:08 Yeah. Um, okay. But poor Stella was hospitalized for eight days. Yeah. It's as serious of a burn as I've ever seen. And uh

1:54:17 uhoh. Uh oh. This like when Cooper and Fallon are trying to talk about the elephant man and they just can't.

1:54:26 I know because it's so sad. So my man's they said at one point one of them said my man's bones were whatever.

1:54:32 I know. Um because severe burns to her thighs. Oh no. Did you say genitals? Is that what you're laughing at? Okay. You saw genitals and you thought of an older lady's genitals and you have the giggles.

1:54:48 It's just no one talks about that part obviously, but that's horrible. It's part of agism. We think that uh

1:54:55 I know an older woman doesn't have a vagina anymore. She just becomes this Barbie.

1:54:59 But she kind of didn't have a vagina anymore. She can't have kids, so why does she need it?

1:55:03 Oh god. Um Okay. But yes, she she sued for $20,000. There you go. but then was awarded 2.7 million. Although though this was later reduced why because of society blaming women

1:55:20 this doc is so great I don't know where you find it hot coffee but it's all about tort reform and what was sold to us and and really what happened in the states where they adopted it medical cost still went up even outpacing some of the

1:55:32 the states that didn't do tort reform it's all hoax anyways. Yeah. Also I'm just going to add I'm on my soap box. There are egregious cases. There's totally frivolous lawsuits. There's no question.

1:55:42 Yes. But you have to just tolerate that that's going to happen so that you preserve the right for an individual citizen to take on the biggest companies in the world. You can sue Google.

1:55:54 That is your only defense. Like we have this one thing left, the civil court system, and that's the only way an individual can fight back with government, corporations. So it has to be preserved and protected. And some of these these damages have to be exorbitant. Yeah.

1:56:09 To get them to do a policy change because they just do a cost analysis and they go, "It'd be cheaper for us to keep the policy and pay this person off." It's got to hurt them.

1:56:18 Exactly. Because that's normal. McDonald's and I love McDonald's. They change their policy in the as a result of that case.

1:56:26 Um, okay. Are cats smart? Well, I did are cats smarter than dogs. Okay. It is difficult to definitively say if cats or dogs are smarter as intelligence can be measured in different ways and they show different strengths. Dogs have more neurons in their cerebral cortex suggesting a higher capacity for tasks and learning while cats may be more persistent in solving problems independently. Ultimately both are intelligent in their own right. AI is being very um diplomatic.

1:56:55 Yeah. Um they're being robbed. Dogs are often considered more intelligent due to a high higher number of neurons.

1:57:02 But as I learned in biology in college, it's more than that. It's the ratio to your mass.

1:57:08 Right. Yeah. So why like a capuchin monkey doesn't have a bigger neoortex than say I don't know Reese's Macak. Maybe it does, but it's so tiny. Right. Exactly.

1:57:18 And it's super intelligent somehow because of that relationship. Yeah. Cuz wasn't that also like the Neanderthal?

1:57:24 Neanderl has a bigger brain. 1650 cc's versus 1450, right? But they were bigger,

1:57:29 but their neoortex they were heavier. Yeah. And I don't know if their neoortex was bigger.

1:57:34 Okay. Well, this says this says studies suggest that people with higher IQs often gravitate toward feline companions.

1:57:41 I believe that says, but why? Reason number one, independent minds attract independent pets. Cats don't need constant attention. They do their own thing. Perfect for thinkers, creatives, and deep workers who value quiet focus. M

1:57:55 that's interesting. Yeah. Okay. Now, dogs present as dumber because they come they're like their tongues are out and they're slobbering.

1:58:06 Oh my god. They're dicks are out often and they're hard sometimes. I've never seen a cat.

1:58:13 I've never seen a cat erection me either. I don't even know if they have erections.

1:58:16 Oh, either. I looked up how many doodle dogs there are in Los Angeles. There's no exact number, but it's a large and growing population. It has an estimated Los Angeles County has an estimated 5.3 million dogs across roughly 3.3 million households. And doodle dogs are a popular category, though not the most popular breed overall.

1:58:38 What is You'd think they'd say. Who cares? Yeah, I sure don't. But yeah, I mean, rescues for sure. Rescue. Who knows what they are?

1:58:49 Yeah. French bulldog. Really? Yeah. It's the most popular dog breed in LA based on American Kennel Club res registration data.

1:58:59 That's interesting. I don't see a lot of them either. They must be house dogs. Um there's a top hundred list.

1:59:06 Merry Christmas of dogs. No. Best Christmas movies of all time. Oh, okay. Let's do the top 10.

1:59:13 All right. I'll give it to you for Christmas. 10 is Gremlins. Oh, great. Nine is Miracle on 34th Street.

1:59:20 Okay. Eight is A Christmas Story. Great. Seven, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

1:59:25 That's number one, but continue. Six, Elf. Ding, ding, ding. Wow, they beat Vacation.

1:59:30 Five, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Uh, four, A Christmas Carol. Three, Die Hard.

1:59:38 Two, Home Alone. That's my number one. And one, It's a Wonderful Life. That's a fine list. I I'm usually more

1:59:43 It's from IMDb. Okay. Trusted Brand. I don't think Rudolph should be that high up. I'm going to say that. It's It's 20 minutes and it's claimation. I love it,

1:59:52 but you can't put that up against The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is way better.

1:59:55 In fact, it's I'm actually now I'm offended. Oh boy. The original Grinch Who Stole Christmas should be number one.

2:00:01 That is a perfect I think it should be up there. I don't Home Alone's my number one.

2:00:07 You can I'm not going to fight you on that. It's great. We already watched it this season.

2:00:10 So good. Okay, now click at the end of this episode. The musicians were talking about click. We didn't know what they were talking about.

2:00:18 I did, but continue. We did not know what they were talking about. I have no idea what was the mean.

2:00:24 And I looked it up. In music, click, most commonly refers to as a click track, an audio metronome used to keep musicians in sync during recording or live performance. It's a rhythmic pulse often played through headphones that ensures a consistent tempo and can include cues for song sections like verses and choruses.

2:00:42 Yeah, I would hate that. It would be so distracting to me. I can see why some people don't like it.

2:00:46 They don't like click. If you just hear in your ear every time. Click. Click. Yeah, I don't like that either. I don't like click.

2:00:52 Although you might be able to sing along perfectly given what we learned in the last fact check.

2:00:56 Okay, that's it. Okay. Well, I love Zoe. Yes. No, I love Christmas time. Me, too.

2:01:02 Yeah, it's so good. Happy holiday. Happy holidays. From us and ours to you and yours.

2:01:06 Goodbye. Everyone in between. Love you. Love you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Zooey Deschanel Returns | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

Dax Shepard (Host), Monica Padman (Host), Zooey Deschanel (Guest), Rob McElhenney (Guest), Kristen Bell (Guest), Jonathan Scott (Guest).

What is "Zooey Deschanel Returns | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard" about?

Zooey Deschanel joins the conversation to discuss her new movie, "MV," which tells a heartfelt story about a couple dealing with the emotional fallout impacting their dog after their breakup. The hosts also express their admiration for Deschanel's talent and charm, highlighting her career in film and music.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

218 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Armchair Expert, Zooey Deschanel, Zoe Deschanel, Christmas, Christmas, MV. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Zooey Deschanel Returns | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

The episode runs 2 h 1 min; the transcript is about 23,895 words in 733 timestamped sections.

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