DTFH 726 New Year's Eve Special

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Alice Gregory, Christopher Clavius, Eloius Lilius, Luigi Lilio
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Cash App
3. 30:00 – 40:00: Amitara
4. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Krishna
5. 1:10:00 – 1:12:29: Krishna

Notable quotes from "DTFH 726 New Year's Eve Special"

• Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? POPE GREGORY in 1582. How did he know it was 1582?

  about Alice Gregory · at 5:02

• This episode of the DTFH has been supported by Cash App. Scammers know the holidays are busy for everyone, which can make us all targets for scams.

  about Cash App · at 13:11

• Like it's wearing dirty socks. If you're going to try this ancient mushroom, Amitara is the place to get it. They're the largest ammonita mascaria supplier in the United States.

  about Amitara · at 32:56

• Itself. And standing in the middle of this battlefield is the great warrior Arjun with Krishna who is a avatar of Vishnu and who also happens to be Arjun's friend.

  about Krishna · at 1:00:09

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Krishna — Person · 5 mentions · first at 1:00:13
• Alice Gregory — Person · 2 mentions · first at 5:02
• Eloius Lilius — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:13
  Named after him, but the core scientific work was developed by Italian physician Eloius Lilius. Luigi Lilio. Hey, I got an idea. Jesuit mathematician Christopher Clavius who…
• Luigi Lilio — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:13
  Named after him, but the core scientific work was developed by Italian physician Eloius Lilius. Luigi Lilio. Hey, I got an idea. Jesuit mathematician Christopher Clavius who…
• Christopher Clavius — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:19
  Eloius Lilius. Luigi Lilio. Hey, I got an idea. Jesuit mathematician Christopher Clavius who refined the system to correct errors in the older Julian calendar. Pope Gregory I…

Books & papers

• Bhagavad Gita — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Cash App — Company · 4 mentions · first at 13:21
• Amitara — Company · 2 mentions · first at 31:01

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Oh, happy New Year's Eve. Eve, my friends. We are about to beckon in another beautiful year, and I am here. Let's start a countdown clock. Josh, how close are we to New Year's Eve?

0:16 Uh, we're about 30. You're so [ __ ] up. I can't do it. 35 hours. 35? No, 35 hours. New Year's Eve technically starts. Oh, I'm thinking New Year's. So, we're 13 hours

0:34 13 hours away from New Year's Eve, guys. And we are gonna be here for ONE OF THEM AT LEAST. WELCOME. This is so exciting. What a wonderful uh pull up. We were here at Time Square. Uh but the camera's [ __ ] up, so it looks like I'm at Josh's studio, but what I'm seeing is crazy. We've got all these people dancing. They're already celebrating New Year's Eve the night before, which technically is when we used to celebrate New Year's Eve in Tartaria. So, this is New Year's Eve. And but because the time masters want to control time, because the time masters want to tell you what day it is and what year it is, you think tomorrow is New Year's Eve, which completely throws off your entire bioenergetic field. You got to celebrate New Year's Eve today. And what year is this according to the Muslim calendar?

1:38 Josh, can you pull that up? Sure. Let's find this out just so we can get this straight. What the year actually is? It's 1447, guys. All right. Don't let the time masters get into your [ __ ] head. It's 1447. What year is it according to the Chinese calendar?

2:14 year of the snake. There's they're on the time master schedule. What year is it? Whatever. It's in a year you want it to be is the point. And I'm not saying time's just in the mind, man. I'm saying everyone's got a different way of uh dating things. Muslims think it's the 1400s.

2:36 Jewish calendar says it's five. Jew. The Jews think it's 5,786. Like, you can pick what year you want it to be. It doesn't have to be 2026 if you don't want it to be. You know, that's just something some [ __ ] came up with, which is an amazing thing to contemplate that at some point somebody Can you figure out why we even think it's 2026? Who the [ __ ] did what control freak piece of [ __ ] was like, it's the year zero. I'm starting over. How do we know it's what year it is? Can you just pull that up? You think they didn't [ __ ] that up? You think over 20026 years somebody didn't forget to put a year in?

3:26 They don't even know. You're not going to find it on there, Josh. You're not going to find it on there. They don't want you to know. They don't want you to understand. We're in an an abyss of time, floating free. They want to chain you down to a number like your social security number, your driver's license number. These are irrelevant figures connecting to you. They mean nothing at all. We use the Gregorian calendar year for simplicity and business, science, and daily life. Even though the Jewish and Islamic calendars like Hebrew or Islamic have different starting points, creation, Exodus for Jewish, Jewish, Hydra for Islamic, making the Gregorian system a necessary universal standard for coordination. Who the [ __ ] said that?

4:14 Colonial and trade influence. European colonial expansion spread the Gregorian calendar worldwide. I'm sure everyone just willingly accepted it, too. making it the default solar accuracy. Let's go down to other calendar. Islamic calendar. In summary, while other calendars are used for religious or cultural purposes, the Gregorian calendar is used to conquer basically. Anyway, it doesn't mean anything. Whatever the [ __ ] year is, [ __ ] 2026, 2021. You could just decide. We could make this year one if you want to. This could be year one. Who invented the Gregorian calendar?

4:55 I thought it was Jesus. Jesus didn't invent a calendar. Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? POPE GREGORY in 1582. How did he know it was 1582? Named after him, but the core scientific work was developed by Italian physician Eloius Lilius. Luigi Lilio. Hey, I got an idea. Jesuit mathematician Christopher Clavius who refined the system to correct errors in the older Julian calendar. Pope Gregory I 13th issued the paple bull into graphismas to implement this reform removing 10 days from October. YOU CAN JUST DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE A POPE.

5:37 YOU'RE LIKE [ __ ] IT. We're cutting 10 days out of October because I want to and you peeons will accept it. The Julian calendar inspired by introduced by Julius Caesar. There you go. You don't get to say what year it is if you're not a pope or [ __ ] Caesar. That's the problem. We can't vote on what year it is. It's not democratic. You can't decide. No, you got to [ __ ] take what year it is and deal with it. It's 2026, [ __ ] Welcome to time. We're chaining you to time. We're going to crucify your infinite soul on the crucifix of time. Make you suffer for it. But happy New Year's Eve, Eve. We can still celebrate whatever the [ __ ] this is. It really is lame he named the calendar after himself, though. I mean, come on. You could have come up with a different name. You didn't have to like give yourself eternal credit for time.

6:39 It's very human thing to do. Well, I have a very special announcement. Two days ago, a new trussle entered the world. You might have felt it. I don't know. I've heard that there were reverberations throughout the entire planet. Celebrations and distant temples, hidden monasteries. I know many people reported on a star uh an unexpected star appeared over Austin. And I have been getting visited by a great many people bringing gifts. It's for the baby people from all over the world and within the world and I appreciate that. I just want to say to all of the ripachets, llamas, saints, gurus, and holy people who've been showing up at my house with a variety of gifts um we're filled up. We don't need any more gifts. and and in fact we would like to get some rest because it's become like some of them come very late at night and it's they're all very sweet some of them can levitate but thank you for welcoming

7:45 our child into the world but um you know we need some sleep and if I look tired you know a new baby just new baby just came into our house and that is what I wanted to talk about so this was I this is the fourth trussle fourth child and we've done hospital births for the first three. First three we did the hospital, we did the square thing and you know my wife, she always kind of wanted to do a home birth and initially I'm like are you [ __ ] crazy? Why would we ever do that? We live in modern times. Let's enjoy modern medicine. Why are we gonna risk you bleeding out in the house when we could be in a hospital? They can give you drugs.

8:37 It's safer. But you know, for those of you who are breeders out there who have given birth in a hospital, you know how [ __ ] up it is. Like it is [ __ ] up. Josh, all hospital births.

8:53 Yeah. My baby's heads were too big, so she couldn't pass them naturally. All C-section. Yeah. And you know, before I go on, let me just say this. When I say we did a hospital birth, we did a hospital birth following millions of doctor visits to make sure it was safe. Like, we weren't going to do it if there was or a home birth. We wouldn't have done the home birth if there was any sign of anything that might require being in the hospital. But everything came out great. So our midwife was like, "Yeah, you know, I think home birth is fine." And so, holy [ __ ] this was the craziest of all births. This is crazy. You know, the midwife came over, they in the afternoon, Aaron's, you know, I guess I should just also preface this preface by saying, um, and you know, this is going to be controversial. This might be taken the wrong way, but you guys can look up the research yourself. There's probably

9:59 50 studies showing that 1 second of a man's existence, we experience in 1 second the same amount of pain a woman experiences in a lifetime. You've seen those studies, right Josh?

10:15 Yeah. Uh, and I'm not trying to offend anybody, and maybe these studies are wrong. They were all done at like Ivy League universities, wellunded, and they do all point to the direction that men experience what women would consider to be excruciating pain just as like baseline. So, uh, which I think, you know, part of being a man is not screaming all the time because of the pain. But Aaron was ready to get the baby out of her. And I get that you've got a baby inside of you. You're swelling up like a balloon. You want it out. So, there's different ways you could do that. If you go to a hospital, they'll give you something called

11:05 epidural. No, not an epidural. That helps the pain. It's called um oxytocin. No, it it is oxytocin, but there's a different name for it. Basically, they give you this big [ __ ] injection of oxytocin. It it like causes it just creates very powerful contractions, which as far as I can tell are have got to be the most incredibly painful things. Like, you know, when you get like a It sucks cuz like as a guy, we really have nothing to compare to it at all. So, we have to use our own weak [ __ ] examples. And you know like when you get a Charlie horse

11:41 kidney stones I've heard it's kind of kidney stones meets Charlie horse it's like a spasm that happens and so what's it called perttoin or something

11:50 ptocin ptocin ptocin just causes these [ __ ] contractions and they hurt and they're so uh a midwife you know they have different ways of doing that there's something called a membrane sweep where they shove their hand into your [ __ ] and swipe something I don't know what it is and a membrane, I'm assuming. And then the other one that we were a little nervous about is castor oil, which I mean, all of this stuff is like basically witchcraft, you know, it's like the old ancient ways of like getting the baby to come. And they say that, you know, castor oil and all this stuff, it only works if it if it's time.

12:29 And so I, you know, I didn't think any of this [ __ ] would work, but they come over, they do a membrane sweep, they give Aaron some castor oil, and they split. And so then she starts having contractions, which when you're about to have a baby, that could happen for weeks. Uh, you're it's like your body's practicing or something like that. And so she starts having contractions, but you know, she's we went on a walk. That's the other thing that does it is you can walk the baby out. And so she's having like contractions, but I'm, you know, we're both like couldn't imagine that this [ __ ] would like actually worked. And so I'm walk.

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15:10 walking in front of my house. There's these leaves in front of the house. I'm like, "Look, I got to get my I got to get a charger for the leaf blower CUZ I LOST THE [ __ ] CHARGER, MAN." AND THEN [ __ ] LIKE THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY cuz you got this big beautiful leaf blower. It's so fun to blow leaves ready to blow them leaves and I can't turn it on. It's been driving me crazy, man. So, I'm like, why don't we, you know, you're just not thinking like this [ __ ] actually works. We'll go to Lowe's, see if they have a leaf blower charger. So, we go, we're driving to Lowe's and like these contractions are actually seeming to be like more frequent.

15:53 And I'm like, may I don't know, babe. Maybe we should turn around. Like, maybe this witch stuff is working. And then we get to Lowe's. They didn't have the leaf blower charger. Can you [ __ ] believe that? And so we got paper towels. We're driving back now. She's having like big contractions. Like it's happening, man. I'm just thinking, "What the [ __ ] This stuff works." We get back to the house within like an hour. The baby comes. Like we were that close to having a baby in blows. She got in the bathtub. I'm on the phone with a midwife. I've got the midwife on speaker phone. The midwife was like a few minutes away. Thank God. Midwife is there. Eight minutes later, the baby came and my neighbors, it was so she was the noises she was making. I'm not going to obviously show the video, but I've been showing the video to my kids and you can't see like it's in the bathtub, right? So, not that I wouldn't

17:01 m kids should know where they came from, you know? They should know the the area they emerge from and the reality of the bloody reality of birth. But the sound do you the sound it's not my this is no longer Aaron like it sounds I it it's primordial like it's something completely different from any other howl you've ever heard. I can't even imitate it. And bo both of the boys are like that doesn't sound like mom. The middle kid was like I'm like, "Yeah, I know. I mean, that's because like it's so painful and so intense." And then he's like, "But no, how is another voice coming out of mom? It sounds that different." The [ __ ] neighbors heard it. I'm sure our whole [ __ ] neighborhood heard what sounded like somebody was getting like slowly sliced and diced by a butcher. JUST [screaming] [groaning] A and then the bathtub water.

18:14 Oh my god, just turns red. And then there's this beautiful baby and everything was perfect. And like it it all it was all like compared to a hospital birth. This was the most you feel the only feeling I can compare it to is like when Limewire came out the first time you stole music. You feel like you've robbed a bank or something. Like it feels illegal or you're so conditioned that you're supposed to be in a hospital to give birth. Like you feel like you've broken a law because there aren't suddenly like eight people you've never met in your life trying to jam a rectal thermometer up your baby's ass, which they do almost immediately.

19:04 Like as soon as the baby is born, somebody will try to shove a thermometer up that baby's ass as a kind of initiation. Welcome to the world. the last baby. Um, you know, we had a a doula there. Um, somebody that was like, "Hey, the kid was just born. You don't need to shove a thermometer up [clears throat] her ass. Like, what are you doing?" and the the experience of giving birth at home versus giving birth at a hospital. It tells you everything about the world. It is so obvious and yet it really is kind of taboo to do a home birth. You tell people you're doing a home birth, they get a little like, are you sure about that? You really want to do that? It's dangerous. But you do a hospital birth and number one, God help you if you don't have insurance. Give birth in a [ __ ] hospital. God help you. And God help you if you do have insurance. Because if you do have insurance, and they know that at

20:15 a hospital, if you got good insurance, they're not going to let you leave. They want to keep your ass there because you're a [ __ ] milk cow for dough. And so there's this thing that emerges and but also I do want to say this. I don't think individuals working in hospitals are nefarious people. I think they're many of them are like angels or saints. Like that is a crazy job and I don't know how people do it. I think individually most people that I've run across during birth is they're sweethearts and they just want to help and stuff like that.

20:53 But this thing happens within the system which is the ba the baby's born and they have to do all these measurements. Now if you think about for the entirety of human existence the baby gets born and then the baby is on top of the mom. That's it. That's the pretty much the trajectory of the baby on maybe the baby gets swaddled or wrapped up or something but that's it. Baby doesn't leave mom. Baby stays next to mom. Baby starts nursing. That's it. At a hospital, that is not what [ __ ] happens. The baby gets taken away from mom. Thermometer shoved up baby's ass. Baby gets measured. Baby gets [ __ ] drops in their eyes. Baby gets injections for VD.

21:46 That's one of the things they do. They give them a [ __ ] VD injection. And they do all of this with a kind of alien precision and an authority. The sort of authority you would expect to see in hell from the princes of hell. Like this is how it's done. You're not supposed to question it. Most new parents have no idea that you can advocate for the baby. Which, by the way, that's not the headsp space you're in. When for those of you who have yet to breed or don't want to breed, the something happens when a baby is being born that is the most psychedelic wild thing. And the best way to put it is whatever the veil is between this dimension and all other dimensions, it gets real thin. And I I mean I always say this, but the closest approximation I have for it is like DMT or something like it. You remember the space. You've been there before. You are reminded of something, but you can't quite put your

22:52 finger on what you're being reminded of. The it's just things get thin and and warped and psychedelic. You could argue that's the oxytocin dump that your brain is giving you because you've served your biological purpose and now you're just trash to the universe. They're like, "Good, [ __ ] you. You had a baby. Now we have a young version of you. Die, old man." But I don't think that's how the universe talks to people, honestly. It's mystical. And so that's the headsp space you're in. So in that headsp space there are all these people who have had to develop a really tough exterior who are trying to convince you to take all these treatments for the baby, all these [ __ ] things for the baby. And the amount of time the baby gets with the mom is diminished at the very beginning of the baby's life, which is very stressful. And so when the mother's having a stress response now, the baby's having a stress response now,

23:54 and then of course some of the metric, the data that they're getting is going to be not good data. The baby should be breastfeeding. Now, the baby's blood sugar is off a little bit, but because the baby's blood sugar is off, they want to get a baseline blood sugar reading, meaning the baby shouldn't breastfeed. the baby doesn't breastfeed, the baby's blood sugar might get weird enough and it just so happens that the baby ends up in the NICU, WHICH IS [ __ ] THE JACKPOT FOR A HOSPITAL. THAT'S THE most expensive part of the hospital for the baby. Now, the baby's in the NICU. The the baby's visit to the hospital will be extended by at least a couple of days. And now, for real, you can't get your baby back. Now your baby is like under the control of the hospital. This was uh our experience with the last birth.

24:48 And then they cut the placenta too right away. That's right. If you don't have someone there advocating for you or you don't know how to advocate for yourself, and by the way, advocating for yourself and a baby is probably not what you want to be doing after a [ __ ] human head just erupted from your vagina. You know, you're exhausted. If you're especially if you're a new mom, labors can take like at least 24 hours. So, you're [ __ ] tired but draggled. You just want to hold the baby. You're so happy the baby's there. And then you're in the exact mind state that where you could people can sell you [ __ ] anything, man. And I mean, I'm not trying to be cynical here, but it is a for-profit model at hospitals. They want to make money. They they make money. And so every single little thing costs a [ __ ] ton of money. And so having experienced this three times in a row, the difference at doing it at home

25:50 where there's people you've already met there, the midwife, your wife, and it's so wonderful, so calm. It's your house. Everything's calm, soft, familiar. There aren't, you know, nurses who just watch somebody with a chest wound expire and the floor underneath you carrying that energy in. And there aren't people who are like acting like it just Yeah. Just give the baby [ __ ] formula, you know, which is really [ __ ] weird. Like, you know, they act like There's some sense that like breastfeeding is like barbaric or something like you know like it's better to just give them formula or some [ __ ] like that. And what's really weird about birth and I haven't verified this. Aaron told me this. I don't know if it's usually she's right on about this stuff, but they don't know what starts labor.

26:55 They don't really understand it like the the exact mechanism that is happening there. And so it's a that's mysterious. And I just think what else don't they [ __ ] know about this process like because it is a hospital and honestly like if I just like I don't know got my hand ripped up in the garbage disposal because I was too drunk and I wanted to see what would happen or something. I don't want my doctor to be woo wooy. I don't want my doctor to be talking about energy fields and the ancestors and quantum data or anything like that. But birth is it's not like that. It's not it's not it's it's injurious, but it isn't an injury, you know. It isn't a wound. It's not an accident. And so, but the mode that gets used is the same mode that would get used with somebody who was in a tractor trailer accident and just got like a [ __ ] iron rod up their [ __ ] or something, you know? That's why that's if you read

27:58 about what happened to me on the internet, it was an accident. I don't want to get into that again. But the point is that's not what it's like. They just it's like crisis, crisis, crisis, crisis, and then you do it at home. Oh my god. It is like like for this birth is the weirdest thing because the midwives stick around. They do obviously check the baby's temperature, blood pressure, mom's blood pressure, all this stuff. They want to make sure the baby's okay, but then once it's established the baby's okay, they leave, which is a little scary after having done a bunch of hospital births because it's like, wait, what about our data? But then you're just with your wife in bed with this beautiful baby and oh, it's so wonderful. It's so [ __ ] wonderful.

28:46 And for those of you who are like in the process of having a baby, it's not like I'm suddenly a home birth advocate or something like that. Like get don't do it unless you're positive everything's okay. Because if like something's off at all, you should do it at a hospital, you know? You just it's having the comfort of being at home is obviously the not worth it. If you're risking watching your [ __ ] wife bleed out or the baby something, god forbid, happens to the baby. But if you could do a home birth and it's safe, do it. Oh my [ __ ] god. Like it felt like we were rebelling against the demi urge or something. We had an off-grid baby.

29:32 Offgrid baby. That's what it was, man. It's off the grid. Oh, I forgot to mention. You know what else they do, right? When you have the baby, they probably did this to you. They put a lowjack on the baby. Did you know that?

29:44 That little thing around their ankle. Yeah. A tracker. Yeah. They [ __ ] snap a goddamn low It's a literally a lowjack. It's a tracker. So that someone cuz people come into hospitals and steal [ __ ] babies, which is just insane to think. And they put that thing down their throat to like they suction out whatever's in their mouth.

30:03 Yep. Yep. They It's [ __ ] nuts, dude. And they have the clowns that come in, which sucks. Those weird dancing clowns that shoot lasers at you. It's really wild like how on one level our society is so technologically advanced. Like on one level we are it feels like we're right next door to like Star Trek or something, but on another level we are so [ __ ] barbaric, so stupid, so buffoonish, so somehow Ow.

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33:58 We've completely like lost all humanity when it comes to the first moments of life when humans are born. It's just so weird. Like I mean, if I had to make a list of the top 10 places where it would be the most difficult to relax, right? I'm gonna put a bear den like when they're hibernating. So, it'd be tough to be in a bear den trying to chill out with a hibernating bear that could wake up at any second. I'm going to put the obvious things, you know, um of like being suspended above a a pit of [clears throat] like hydrochloric acid like on on a like hammock.

34:46 That's going to be hard to relax for me there, you know, because hammocks tip sometimes. Even if you try not to, it's gonna And probably I'd be worried about the fumes. Um, toddler birthday party. Forget it. Forget it. Try to relax at a toddler [ __ ] a skating a roller skating party. A toddler roller skating party. Good luck relaxing there. You're just hoping your kid doesn't [ __ ] paralyze themselves for life. But somewhere in there, I'm putting delivery room in a hospital. There is no place less relaxing, no place less comforting when than like they make you lay in bed, by the way.

35:30 And the doctor gets to pick the soundtrack your baby's born to. What do you mean?

35:35 You know how the play music? Yeah. When the doctors, they get to play music. Um, my doctor, the first baby.

35:41 No, they don't. Yeah. Your doctor [ __ ] played music. Queen was the first one.

35:45 Shut the [ __ ] up. Led Zeppelin was the second baby. Shut the [ __ ] up. Kulio was the third baby.

35:51 Born at Gangsters Paradise. That is egregious, sir. Yeah, that is egregious. Yeah. When I was, you know, when I was getting my [ __ ] radiation therapy for my cancerous [ __ ] ball, I remember like they would just play music in there and it was like so depressing. Like the music they were picking like

36:17 we are family. I swear to God they play that in there as [clears throat] I'm getting radiation shot into my [ __ ] lymph nodes. Horrible. I mean the the the fact that with all the money me like hospitals get that they have yet to create a completely comfortable beautiful softly lit hyper comfortable mystical area where people can give birth is just nuts. You can get they call them sweets. If you want to pay a little extra, you can get sweets where they act like it's fancy because there's like a bathtub you can get in, but it's still like if you went to a a [ __ ] Lintita Inn and that was the room you like, [ __ ] this. It's not worth 80 bucks. And they're charging you tens of thousands of dollars a [ __ ] night.

37:21 Mhm. And acting like this is fancy. You're lucky. You're lucky you're not in a normal [ __ ] room. I It's insane that that is just normal for people. Most of you when you came into this world, I hate to say it, but there was a [ __ ] thermometer up your ass before you sucked on your mom's tits. And that's the wrong order when you're getting things up your ass. And that's just the truth. Every single one of us, more than likely, were medically sodomized within a few minutes of hitting this part of time space. That's just the hello from the demi urge. And then more than likely you were you were probably taken away from your parents, thrown in a [ __ ] pod, pricricked and poked.

38:24 You heard your mom crying because they're so upset. They just want to be with a baby. Some weird [ __ ] dude sort of curtly trying to calm them down, acting like they're idiots because they think something's off here. That's the mood, by the way. The mood is like, "You [ __ ] stupid shits. You what? Do you want your kid to die? You don't want your kid to die, do you?" Good. Then let me spray this weird [ __ ] chemical in their eyes. You don't want your kid to die, right? Let me give them an injection for VD. What is the VD injection they give kids?

39:03 I think it's for HPV. I don't know. You know, they give him some VD shot among a myriad of other [ __ ] shots.

39:12 And then they put you under a heat lamp. The same ones they put chicken strips under to keep warm.

39:16 Same same one. They use the same ones at 7-Elevens when you're seeing that hot dog roll around. You want your kid in a hot dog roller. That's what they do. That's what they do. Then they try to keep you there. And like this happened to us. This was our I'm sorry if I've talked about this before. This actually sort of inspired the home birth. This is our third kid. By then we were like we knew everything. We knew all the tricks and stuff. I have talked about this but I'll mention it again. So the baby's numbers were fine. Everything was fine. The baby was fine. But for some reason they wanted us to keep us there longer than we needed to be there.

39:56 And so we were like, "No, we're going to split. Baby's fine. We don't want to be in this shitty [ __ ] hospital disease vector. We're going to get the baby home. And the first thing they did is they said, "If you leave without medical recommendation or whatever it's called, your insurance might not cover this birth." They [ __ ] said that to us, right? So, I Googled that and like on Google, you could Google it. It's like that's not true. Like why the [ __ ] would a you're in basically I called the insurance company. I'm like hey I'm in the hospital right now and they're basically saying you guys aren't going to cover the birth if we leave against medical recommendation.

40:43 And the insurance dude was like what? No. Get He's like of course we want you to leave. Like get the [ __ ] out of there. Please go. I wish you'd left earlier because every second in there they're billing the insurance company. So the person who said that to us comes back in and I'm like, "Hey, I just called the insurance company and they said that's not true." So that So we're going to go then. You know what they said? CPS.

41:12 What? Yeah. They threatened CPS on us if we [ __ ] split. And so then this is where it gets real dark. I'm in the hallway gone to the hospital cafeteria or something to get some food for Aaron and there was a groundskeeper there who recognized me and in front of like one of the doctors like took a picture with me. Then their tone completely [ __ ] changed. Like I guess they found out I had a podcast or something. They were worried. I don't know what it was. But all of a sudden, they're backpedaling on the CPS thing and then they let us go. It was just so [ __ ] up. So [ __ ] up. But when we walked by the nurse's desk with the baby, it felt like escaping from prison. They were pissed. They did not want us to leave. Like, and you're feeling all these mixed emotions like, "Am I insane? Am I putting the baby at risk? All the numbers are fine. The baby's fine.

42:16 Am I [ __ ] nuts here? So, they [ __ ] with your your your the baby was fine. Nothing happened. Baby was totally okay. I I get it on one level. I get it. You're just dealing with numbers, right? It's like, look, if we don't act like that with every single parent, then what ends up happening is some parent [ __ ] leaves here when they shouldn't leave and the kid dies. And that's why we have to treat everyone exactly the same. That's the reality. I get it. But still, when it comes to like your own child, you shouldn't feel like you're robbing of a a the pound for a dog. You shouldn't feel like you're sneaking out of the pound. Like it's so dimminant.

43:03 And that is how we begin our incarnation here in the modern world. You're immediately conditioned. You're immediately taught about this insane hierarchy. Don't trust your instincts. Trust authority. Don't follow your heart. Listen to what the [ __ ] experts the the experts are saying. And that's true. The problem is some of the times that's exactly what you need to do. If you don't I wish I didn't listen to my [ __ ] heart when my ball started swelling up. My heart told me, you know, it'll go away. heart was wrong. THAT WAS DEATH IN MY BALLS.

43:45 SO THAT'S THE PROBLEM. It's like differentiating between like, you know, your own like dangerous optimism and reality. But you would think by now we would have figured out a way to walk a line in between those two things so that mothers don't feel like they're [ __ ] criminals for trying to bring their baby out of a hospital. Regardless, I am thrilled. It is the coolest thing, man. I feel so lucky to have witnessed something like that. It's It's like such a cool thing to watch like a natural birth versus the normal thing. Wife getting a [ __ ] needle jammed into her spine. That's no fun.

44:35 That's one thing that happened to Erin. I'm sorry. I don't know if you're watching this, but forgive me if this is too much information, but it at one point they're giving What's that called again, Josh?

44:47 The spine injection. Uh it is a epidural. Epidural. They're giving her the epidural and it was the scariest thing, man. Her blood pressure just starts dropping.

44:58 Mhm. And you know, there's just like the anesthesiologist, a nurse in the room. All of a sudden, there's another nurse in the room. Another nurse in the room, another nurse in the room, and you can hear the alarm sounds. You're just like, "What the fuck?" Like, "Did they just kill Aaron? Like, is she going to die in front of me with a baby inside of her?" It's terrifying. terrifying. So, you get, you know, and I remember I went the down the wrong set of stairs to get food for once and like accidentally went by the morg.

45:34 It's not that's a shitty [ __ ] crazy feeling. I mean, we need hospitals. I'm not against Look, I'm not some kind of like woo woo freak. I just got a [ __ ] flu shot. Didn't want it. had to get it. Flu going around right now. It's really bad. I don't want the baby to get sick. You know, I've gotten two vaccines over the last few weeks. Didn't want to get them. Hate it. Hate getting vaccines, but I still get them. But I mean, not all of them. So, don't get me wrong. I'm not like some [ __ ] like super deep hippie weirdo doesn't believe in medicine. It saved my life. It's just clearly there's got to be a way to do birth the way it deserves to be done.

46:26 It's a sacred moment. It's the beginning of a human being's life. You know, it's not like you're taking a [ __ ] that needs to be studied. You know, I feel stupid even having to say it, which is crazy that I know there's hospitals that have done better at it, but most of them haven't. And seems like that should be a big priority for our species. Like this is the beginning of a human's life. And also like the other thing that happens accidentally is you know when for the guy obviously you can't breastfeed and so your role is that of like servant like you're just trying to get your wife food make sure she's comfortable and I love it cuz like I'm like you know in the mornings I go make coffee and cook her breakfast and bring her food. And I'm thinking like, I'm not making breast milk, but this is the pre- ingredients for breast milk. And you participate in this real way that's important. When you

47:39 do it at a hospital, man, there's not much you can do other than like sit and like impotently watch doctors come in and like do [ __ ] I mean, going to the cafeteria and getting your wife a [ __ ] sandwich and bringing it to her is way different from like cooking food for her. And like, so that's another thing that gets [ __ ] up is just the whole role of like the whole the whole like the ancient dynamic which is kind of perfect. That gets messed up, too.

48:13 Yeah. The nurses make you feel like you're a dumbass and a burden. Oh, they do.

48:18 Yeah, they do. and you kind of feel like one, you know, because honestly it's like I can't we I can't make a baby inside of me, you know. I've learned now, you know, in the beginning I would try to like do like inspirational sayings while she's giving birth and she's shoot me dagger EYES LIKE PLEASE STOP TALKING. [gasps] BUT NOW I, you know, it's more like holding a space for them and stuff. Keeping calm, holding space, not being overly exuberant or overly like you're at the gym trying to like you're a Pilates coach or some [ __ ] But yeah, they do definitely make you feel like a fifth wheel in that situation.

49:04 They But they make the mom feel like a fifth wheel sometimes. Yeah. You know, something that's getting in the way.

49:11 It's really crazy. I'm just saying it's like that's how we come into the world. This somebody out there needs to work on this. One of you guys needs to fix all of this. I blame Mr. Beast. Um, hold on one second here. But yeah, so if I seem a little out of it, it's cuz we just had a baby a couple of days ago and um I was allowed freedom from the baby jail to come and do these podcasts. And Aaron's doing really good or I wouldn't have gone. Um, well, I don't know. Was that enough? How long did I just yap for, Josh?

49:51 Uh, we're at 46 minutes. You have a lot of super chats. Really? Yeah. Oh, thank you on behalf of the new trust line. Thank you. I need more. I HAVE FOUR [ __ ] KIDS. BUT I WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE YESTERDAY. Are you [ __ ] [ __ ] me? I just I can't believe how expensive [ __ ] is right now. It's [ __ ] insane.

50:13 You [ __ ] Do you know how much caviar is now? IT'S AN OUTRAGE. YOU ALWAYS thought it was weird that they always have the baby snacks and stuff right next to one aisle's baby stuff. Next aisle is dog food. Why do they keep the baby snacks and [ __ ] next to the dog food?

50:29 It's the message, man. That's what they want to tell you. You're a dog. You're a dog to the Illuminati. You're nothing more than a mongrel, a street dog. You're nothing more than a filthy hound in the face, in the eyes of the global elite. They think of you as an organ donor. If that if you're lucky, they want your organs. Ah, okay. Let's do some super chats. Congrats, Dunk, on the newborn. Do you still have a little hobo? Oh my god, I can't believe you asked me that. Thank you very much, by the way, for that. Um, Lucas, uh, you know what? I was just going through the closet, one of the closets in the house, looking for my leaf blower charger.

51:22 And I found little Hobo's head because when I did Kill Tony, he kind of like after that, he just shattered. His hands shattered, his head fell off. And so his head is pretty much all that's left just in a in a Tupperware in the back of a closet where we keep the Christmas ornaments and that's where he [ __ ] belongs cuz he's a dick and I'm sorry I partnered with him and he got really he got a big [ __ ] head and then after he did Kill Tony he didn't really want to work with me anymore so [ __ ] him. Hello Paul. Thank you so much. Demons be like, "We rule the underworld."

52:07 Yeah, congratulations on being middle management and hell. Much love. I much love to you. I don't know what you mean, but I don't know if what if that's something related to what I was yapping about or you think I'm middle management in hell. Either way, thanks for the five bucks. And I if I were in hell, and I don't think we are, I think I'm a little above middle management at this point. Or a janitor. I'm not sure which. Babies be like, "We're being born in one song and one song only." Still, Trey, hit it, doc. Was that a joke?

52:41 Josh, did they really play that [ __ ] You got me. I thought you were being serious. Thank you, Tiny Lind Tails. Hello, Dogaroni. Congrats to your family on the newest trestle. Saw you at Sidplitters and you crushed it. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I am I love being with my family, but I'm quite excited to be back on the road at the end of the month. I'm going back out there. I'm looking forward to it. I hope I'm funny, though. Jesus Christ. Like, I'm so tired right now. I don't know. I'm going to do it. I feel like I'm going to have to I don't know what. Got to find some kind of new drug. I might have to get in a meth.

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54:24 YOU GUYS ARE supposed to send me this. I want to I need this. I've been using the I guess the grandpa's. I've been using the earlier version. I love it. Blue Chu, I'm sorry if you don't want me to say that. It's great. I didn't know you guys had a gold. I want the gold. I want four I want the four engines of pumping. Please send me some. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at bluw.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of BlueW Gold with code Duncan. That's promo code duncan. Visit bluechw.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chu for sponsoring the podcast.

55:10 We salute you, Blue Chu. Adam Dev Media, Doug, it was so nice of you to give that charity this holiday season to Danny Jones. God bless you. I didn't feel like it was charity. I like Danny Jones. He's got a cool podcast. He's got a lot of cool guests, too. And he's a really good interviewer, by the way. really cool studio too out there in Tampa. I really like, by the way, Tampa. This is I can't believe I'm saying this. Tampa's [ __ ] cool. Like somehow Tampa got a bad rap. Like Tampa's like everyone. There are some freaks out there. Like good freaks who I really liked. Like I was re like looking around thinking like what the [ __ ] man. Why wish the mothership was here?

56:09 It's right. You know, it's it's weird. It's like per it's got this weird I don't understand it. I was trying to get people to explain to me how so many weird cool eccentric artists had converged on Tampa, Florida, and no one really could give a good explanation for that. Maybe one of you guys can. Um Julian, hello. Oh, that's a good question, Julian. is asking, "Doug, what's the best course of action the moment you realize you've created bad karma for yourself? Congrats on the newborn." That is such a good question. Well, you know, I think a a good a healthy definition of karma is is useful in answering that question because people get confused about what karma means and they they look at it as a kind of um they in a more superstitious way than necessary because you know karma is just action or cause and effect. And so, um, and depending on what POV you look at it from, all karma you could say is bad karma on

57:27 one level because karma serves to keep you crystallized in infinite incarnations. And so whether it's good and this is more of a Buddhist take on it, but uh good karma really really good karma could win you birth in the realm of the gods. And which sounds spectacular, but if you're in the realm of the gods and to understand the god realm, it's not as hard as it might seem or as mythological as it might seem. All you have to do you if you have dogs, you know what the god realm is like. You're a god to those dogs. Your lifespan is much longer. You can do crazy [ __ ] that they cannot understand. You manifest food for them whenever you want to. Food is the most important thing to them. They worship you. They bow to you. They literally bow. Dogs do that thing when they see you. They bow. they're they're somewhat afraid of you. If you you know they've [ __ ] in the house and experienced the repercussions of that, you're powerful

58:42 to them, important. They think about you all the time. So that's the for to understand the realm of the gods. Imagine that. But for humans where humans are the dogs and that's what the gods are like. They can do extraordinary things. They live much much longer than humans do. And apparently they uh the [clears throat] level of sense gratification they experience is infinitely greater than what humans experience. So like gods come way harder than humans do. Their orgasms would shatter planets. They're so powerful. And so if you incarnate in the god realm, what ends up happening is you're still stuck in this cycle of infinite rebirth. So from that perspective, karma no matter what keeps you sort of locked in. And so there there's a chapter in the Bavagita, I believe the chapter is called karma yoga. Maybe I can find it.

59:46 There's a great audible bynath sworn. Well he did a great uh translation. Yeah, I'll just read this. So, for those of you who don't know, the Bavagita is set on the great battlefield of Kreta. It's a family feud essentially. Horrible battle is about to take place where families a family is going to attack itself. And standing in the middle of this battlefield is the great warrior Arjun with Krishna um who is a avatar of Vishnu and who also happens to be Arjun's friend. Another like interesting thing about the Bhagavagita is that it is within the Mahab Barat and apparently it is in the middle of the Mahab Barat which is all this Indian mythology which is really [ __ ] cool that a story that takes place in the middle of a battlefield is actually in the very middle of the book. And so this is this sort of like condensed distillation of dharma of sonatan dharm of this like ancient way of living and

1:00:57 so it's one of the most beautiful books highly recommend it um and so the Arjun doesn't want to fight he he does he he's freaking out because like he's recognizing I think he's about to have to kill people he grew up with and he doesn't in another way you have to look at this is like this is like he's a kashitra a warrior cla cast he's like his whole job is fighting that's his dharma and so he's basically saying to Krishna I'm not going to do it I'm going to become a renuncient go into the woods and [ __ ] all this so this is the discourse happening between him and God on this battlefield where God is telling him, "No, you have to be yourself. You have to do your duty. There's no escape.

1:01:49 You have to fight." And so that's the setting for the beginning of this chapter um in all chapters in it actually, but um Arjun said, "Oh, John Ardan, there's all these different names for Krishna. If you consider knowledge superior to action, then why do you ask me to wage this terrible war? My intellect is bewildered by your ambiguous advice. Please tell me decisively the one path by which I may attain the highest goal. The Lord said, "Oh sinless one, the two paths leading to enlightenment were previously explained by me. The path of knowledge for those inclined toward contemplation and the path of work for those inclined towards action. One cannot achieve freedom from karmic reactions by merely abstaining from work. Nor can one attain perfection of knowledge by mere physical renunciation. There is no one who can remain without action even for a moment.

1:02:44 Indeed, all beings are compelled to act by their qualities born of material nature. Those who restrain the external organs of action while continuing to dwell on sense objects in the mind certainly delude themselves and are to be called hypocrites. So this is like the way Ramdas always put this is this is like when you quit smoking but all you do is think about cigarettes. But those karmic yogis who control their knowledge senses with the mind, O Arjun, and engage the working senses in working without attachment are certainly superior. You should thus perform your prescribed vadic duties since action is superior to inaction. By ceasing activity, even your bodily maintenance will not be possible. Work must be done as an offering to the supreme lord.

1:03:30 Otherwise, work causes bondage in this material world. Therefore, for the satisfaction of God, perform your prescribed duties without being attached to the result. In the beginning of creation, Brahma created humankind along with duties and said, "Prosper in the performance of these sacrifices, for they shall bestow upon you all you wish to achieve. By your sacrifices, the celestial gods will be pleased, and by cooperation between humans and the celestial gods, great prosperity will reign for all the celestial gods." And there's different translations of this.

1:04:04 Some say uh davas um being satisfied with the performance of sacrifice will grant you all the desired necessities of life. But those who enjoy what is given to them without making offerings in return are verily thieves. The spiritually minded who eat food that is first offered in sacrifice are released from all kinds of sin. Others who cook food for their own enjoyment verily eat only sin. All living beings subsist on food and food is produced by rains. Reigns come from the performance of sacrifice and sacrifice is produced by the performance of prescribed duties. The duties for human beings are described in the vadas and the vadas are manifested by God himself. Therefore, the allervading lord is eternally present in acts of sacrifice. Oh para, those who do not accept their responsibility in the cycle of sacrifice established by the vades are sinful. They live only for the delight of their senses, indeed their

1:05:00 lives are in vain. But those who rejoice in the self, who are illumined and fully satisfied in the self, for them there is no duty. Such self-realized souls have nothing to gain or lose, either in discharging or announcing their duties, nor do they need to depend on other living [clears throat] beings to fulfill their self-interest. Therefore, giving up attachment perform actions as a matter of duty. Because by working without being attached to the fruits, one attains the supreme. By performing their prescribed duties, King Janaka and others attain perfection. You should also perform your duties to set an example for the good of the world.

1:05:36 Whatever actions great persons perform, common people follow. Whatever standards they set, all the world pursues. There is no duty for me to do in all the three worlds. Nor do I have anything to gain or attain. Yet I am engaged in prescribed duties. For if I did not carefully perform the prescribed duties, all men would follow my path in all respects. If I ceased to perform prescribed actions, all the worlds would perish. I would be responsible for the pandemonium that would prevail and would thereby destroy the peace of the human race.

1:06:07 Um anyway, it goes on for a bit, but and it's a, you know, this is a 5,000-y old text. So, it's when it's talking about sacrifice, the question is like what does that even mean? And the there's a a lot of ways to answer that. Like you could go back to the antiquated version of that or you could think about the difference between the way you feel when you are serving people to help them versus the way you feel when you're serving yourself. And it's a completely different feeling. totally different the feeling, you know, for me like right now, you know, just like bringing food to air and taking care of the kids and it's an incredible thing. Like it feels religious. It feels ancient. It feels right in tune like harmonious with things. It's very simple. There's nothing special about it. But the moment I get into my head anything about wanting something out of that deal other than the baby that I got, the moment I

1:07:14 start wanting praise or wanting to feel like a hero or any of that stuff, anytime that creeps into my mind, it dilutes the experience which is really and the experience is ineffable and sort of empty and you're just part of something bigger like you become like the way the you the planet the planets revolve around the sun the like basic flow of tides and things like that you can tune into that and become part of that that's the sacrifice you're sacrificing your ego to that greater perfection that you can you won't understand I don't know what these kids are going to do or what their grandkids are going to do or their grandkids are going to do I'm just a tiny little piece of this much bigger beautiful tapestry of consciousness weaving its way out into the universe and the letting yourself just be that instead of wanting to take credit, wanting to be the hero, wanting to win fame or glory or all the

1:08:16 things it that is the sacrifice that I think Krishna is talking about and and is saying the karma is actually not so much coming from the action as much as attachment to the results of the action is what's generating bad karma. But if you can do your prescribed duties, which sounds very heady and like what the [ __ ] does that mean? Like I'm not in the military, but it's not talking about that. It's talking about something much more earthy and human. And all of us have different prescribed duties. You know what they are. the if you can just do that and do that without thinking about your own benefit then at least according to this the karmic repercussions are negated. Uh or um and so and and it makes sense from the perspective of sort of escaping the infinite cycle of birth and death and merging with the supreme in some way, shape or form. um which is yoga. It means to yoke, to connect. And so this

1:09:24 is one of the methods of connecting with the divine. There's other methods too. This is karma yoga. But from this perspective, it's purely being the action. And as far as like what can you do about past [ __ ] that you did, you naughty naughty boy. Um well, nothing right now. You don't have a time machine. I was talking to my meditation teacher Nick Turn about this. I just eaten [ __ ] lamb. It was good. And I was feeling guilty and I was told him I feel bad I ate [ __ ] lamb. I'm not even a vegetarian. I don't know why it hit me so hard. And he's like too late for you. Too late for the lamb. He's right. So, but that's even that's just another example I would say of attachment, right? because now you're you're attached to the fruits, the negative fruits of this thing that you did. You're worried about what might come and this is saying don't worry about that. You know, the seed is planted,

1:10:24 it's too late. So to get caught up in things that you've done wrong in the past is just another form of worrying about the fruits of your action. To get caught up in worrying about what's going to come of things you might do, caught up in the fruit of the action. But if you're purely in the action, that's where you can experience a sort of harmonizing with like everything. And you lose yourself in that. You really do. I mean, the when they when you know when they talk about enlightenment and things like that, it's very confusing. But when when you hear stories of people who like save people, who jump into like freezing lakes and pull people out and afterwards they seem legitimately confused that people are calling them a hero because that's not where their mind was at all.

1:11:19 They just did it. They didn't even think about it. They were just in the water pulling people out. And I think that's what it's pointing towards is just, you know, connect with what you know is like the right thing. And I I think people do know and not in some big way. You're not going to save the world. I mean, the world doesn't need saving. But what you know is right in the next moment. And do that. and don't think about what might come of it. And that's what this is pointing towards. But you got to stop robbing graves. Don't do that anymore.

1:12:03 I've done it. It's fun, but you got to stop. And it's addictive, especially around the holidays. But please stop. All right. Har Krishna. Onward and upward. I love you guys. Best to all of you and to the expectant mothers out there. You can do this. That's what I would say to Aaron before she told me to shut the [ __ ] up. Bye.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "DTFH 726 New Year's Eve Special"?

In order: 0:00 Alice Gregory, Christopher Clavius, Eloius Lilius, Luigi Lilio; 10:00 Cash App; 30:00 Amitara; 1:00:00 Krishna; 1:10:00 Krishna.

What is mentioned in this Duncan Trussell Family Hour episode?

8 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Krishna, Cash App, Alice Gregory, Amitara, Eloius Lilius, Luigi Lilio. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "DTFH 726 New Year's Eve Special"?

The episode runs 1 h 12 min; the transcript is about 11,214 words in 100 timestamped sections.

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