Transcript

#488: Your WORTH, Your RULES: Set Boundaries & ATTRACT the Right Person with Niko Emanuilidis...

From Heather Monahan · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 59 min · 12,113 words · 67 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "#488: Your WORTH, Your RULES: Set Boundaries & ATTRACT the Right Person with Niko Emanuilidis...", an episode of Heather Monahan published January 17, 2025 (59 min, about 12,113 words). It mentions 8 people, works and ideas, including The Daddy Academy, Nico Emmanuel Lees, Girls Gotta Eat, Dating coaching, The Power of Now.

What this episode is about

Niko Emanuilidis, known as the Daddy Academy, joins to discuss modern dating and relationships, offering humor and practical advice on setting personal boundaries to attract the right partners. With a growing following and media presence, he aims to empower individuals in their love lives by simplifying the complexities of romance.

Key takeaways

  • Nico Emmanuel Lees could turn dating chaos into comedy gold—Daddy Academy is the Netflix special of love advice!
  • From class clown to love guru, Nico went viral by flipping the script on man-to-woman advice.
  • Nico: Proof that turning an inside joke into a business can make romance laugh-out-loud relatable.
  • When men’s dating advice became misdirected toxic masculinity, Nico pivoted to empower women with candor.
  • Going viral: Nico’s ‘Daddy Energy’ proves audiences crave relatable, unfiltered guidance in the dating maze.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: The Daddy Academy, Girls Gotta Eat, Nico Emmanuel Lees
  2. – 10:00: Dating coaching
  3. – 15:00: The Power of Now
  4. – 20:00: Netsuite
  5. – 30:00: Masculine and feminine energy
  6. – 35:00: Shopify
  7. – 59:27: The Daddy Academy

Notable quotes from "#488: Your WORTH, Your RULES: Set Boundaries & ATTRACT the Right Person with Niko Emanuilidis..."

  • Super excited for this episode okay today we've got but Nico Emmanuel Lees better known as the daddy Academy how did I not know about this has quickly become a trusted voice in…
    about The Daddy Academy · at
  • This because I know a lot of people listening have these thoughts you're thinking about getting into this dating coaching social media thing someone going to say to you wait a…
    about Dating coaching · at
  • Start to you start to overthink I'm I'm reading all these different books about thinking The Power of Now overthinking all these different things I'm like you have to present…
    about The Power of Now · at
  • Excellent performance absolutely free at nets.com Monahan that's netsuite.com Monahan to get your kpi checklist now nets.com monan okay super helpful that you just explained all that because I had not heard that before and you know what's.
    about Netsuite · at
  • And polarities I mean it's totally true but we all have both within us like I have masculine and feminine energy you have masculine and feminine energy and with the right…
    about Masculine and feminine energy · at
  • Yourself like polarity wise that you want to be as well that's the sound of another sale on Shopify and the moment another business dream becomes a reality your reality Shopify…
    about Shopify · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Nico Emmanuel Lees — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Here today and you're GNA see why I'm super excited for this episode okay today we've got but Nico Emmanuel Lees better known as the daddy Academy how did I not know about this…

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • The Daddy Academy — Company · 4 mentions · first at
  • Girls Gotta Eat — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Major media Outlets including New York Post feature story appearance on popular podcasts like this one right here Girls Gotta Eat now with his upcoming podcast set to launch in…

Concepts & topics

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

hi and welcome back I'm so excited you're back with me this week okay this is an interesting Episode by the way not my choice so I'm out at dinner the other night with a bunch of girlfriends and one of my girlfriends of course we're always talking about the podcast and one of my girlfriends says oh my gosh you have to interview this guy and the internet is a huge place as we all know and I said I don't know who this guy is so I start following this guy well he's here today and you're GNA see why I'm super excited for this episode okay today we've got but Nico Emmanuel Lees better known as the daddy Academy how did I not know about this has quickly become a trusted voice in the world of dating and relationships we all know I need that in my life over the past year he's connected with thousands of people on social media discussing the chaotic and often confusing landscape of modern romance I am here for that with a

mission to simplify the dating World Nico is dedicated to empowering individuals to take control of their love lives through humor love that candid insights and down toe approach he's created a space where people can laugh about the ups and downs of romance while learning practical tips and strategies to succeed he is so direct and pretty funny Nico's unique perspective has garnered attention from major media Outlets including New York Post feature story appearance on popular podcasts like this one right here Girls Gotta Eat now with his upcoming podcast set to launch in February 2025 get ready for it ladies he's bringing even more of his expertise to a wider audience ready to dive deeper into the world of dating and relationships Nico thank you so much for being here today of course what an intro you the handheld mik you guys for anyone who doesn't have the video on this you got to go watch it because

Nico's cracking me up he's like do I sound good he sounds amazing and he's holding a mic like he's getting up to give a standup comedy like is Kevin Hart I'm ready to break into song whenever you need you know I'm ready do you sing I do I'm in a so that's why I have the handheld mic I'm in a band I've been a musician my whole life so yeah that's why I got the handheld oh my gosh all right yeah so let's do this as I mentioned that was all true story what I just shared I had never heard of you which now I follow you obviously on social media I love your content it's so direct super engaging I just love how you like you knock it right to people I love how direct you are can you give us some backstory like how did you come to be this person in the dating World it sounds such like a bizarre thing to me yeah know it's a great question so I think it sort of parallels with my own Journey as a man you know so what's

rewind 15 years or so you know getting into college and I was always a charismatic person I was class clown in high school so like I was I you're not supposed to say that you're charismatic about but like you know these are my these are my these are my skill sets but like know but the point is I wasn't good with women like I really wasn't I was always asking my friends for advice and because I was like why why am I not getting this there's something I'm not getting so at that time I'm talking I don't know maybe 2011 or so something like that I started watching content creators at that time in the dating space and learning like what am I doing wrong here like there is a skill to this there's a skill to being attractive and tapping into your inner confidence and being attractive and just through my own like I said self-help Journey becoming a man discovering myself like really growing I started to

realize like oh wow like I'm pretty good at this and a lot of people just kind of naturally always gravitated to me for advice throughout the years and I've always wanted a platform where I was helping people coaching people inspiring people and it just kind of took me a while to really launch it and about a year and a half ago or so maybe like two years ago at this point I launched the page the daddy Academy which was just like an inside joke the name of the page uh just between me and my friends like I was just I would just send funny videos to my friends just kind of trying to inspire them to hit the gym and stuff like that I'm like come on Daddy let's get going so I started posting videos and it was for the six first like six months or so slow as it typically is on social media and then one day cuz I was only talking towards men I was like my my focus was I want to help men like me who were a little lost and trying to

find themselves and get that inner confidence and I was trying to coach men but as you might know on the internet when it comes to men dating advice you typically see just a lot of toxic masculinity and I was talking about very you know positive self-help kind of stuff so wasn't really hitting and someone mentioned to me like why don't you make a video talking about men but for women and I'm like that's a pretty good idea I have a younger sister I've helped her and her friends count for years with dating advice and I'm like okay yeah that makes sense because essentially giving advice to women from where I'm at and through my experience is just flipping the cap around and giving sort of the opposite sort of perspective so I made a video of what it means to have Daddy energy as my page is called and it went viral overnight got like 30,000 followers in a day and I just kind of kept answering the questions like and

it's all women women women I'm like wow you know there's there's a need in this space that I just kind of naturally stepped into and who am I to fight it if women want the man dating coach and they want me to be a women's dating coach for the most part I still coach with with some men but primarily it's women so I'm like I'm going to keep rolling with it and I love it and it's been great it's been so uh you know it's it's been amazing and that's sort of you know a year later and that's kind of where we are today so interesting business lesson that you just highlighted for everybody and this is applicable to any business you know you stepped into one frame or mindset of what this business potentially could be for you who you were going to serve and what you're going to do however you weren't getting the results that you had hoped for or wanted someone suggests trying a pivot you try not knowing what can happen I

mean obviously nothing could have happened right but then when you see the results it's just like those breadcrumb showing you this is the path you're meant to be on and you know organically or naturally you're able to Pivot the business so that um kudos to you for like having so many people are are risk adverse and don't want to well I can't stray from my original plan that you know that's not my business how are you able to say like okay wait a minute I can be open-minded to this that's great I love that you're talking about it from a business perspective as well I think when it comes to that it's it's always about following the passion and if you're not tapping into that like inner soul purpose of the pass and why you want to do something you're always going to it's going to feel like you're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and it's not going to fit and you're not going to wake up with that

you know that inspiration every morning to do it and I saw the need I saw the people that needed my help and I and I see the reaction of people who I have helped and I love that and whether I'm helping men or women I equally found that same gratification in it so I made the pivot and it went great and it inspired me even more to realize oh wow like there was this need here that I could really step in and be a a really important voice in this space and I'm going to do it and I think it's because I never set out to be a woman's coach which is why it has worked so well because I didn't like try to be like oh yeah I'm going to try to give women all this man dating advice it just naturally happened which I think sometimes if you just follow your purpose and like I keep saying like your passion and what you're drawn to and wanting to do for others like there's always like okay we all want to make money we all want to do

this and that but ultimately our purpose here is to serve other people and through doing that that's how you get true happiness I'm sure you know you probably talk about this a lot and I just started doing that and it it's true you know it's just the success follows and it's been great okay so tell me a little bit about um your perspective on this because I know a lot of people listening have these thoughts you're thinking about getting into this dating coaching social media thing someone going to say to you wait a minute you're way too late to the game like no that area is there's too many people doing that I'm sure people said that to you how are you able to manage that negativity or people telling you that you're not able to create a business out of something that you feel like you want to do that's a really good question as well you're you're you're you're great with these questions I love it Nico

we've been doing this for a few years you know I think I think first things first you need to look at your your natural god-given skill set right like I was telling you earlier I always knew I was a great communicator charismatic I'm good at inspiring and helping people like I just always knew that about myself and I always knew that I have really good morals and really good intentions so that was something that I've always known about myself my ability to communicate effectively and help people I also years in the past I was a basketball a youth basketball coach so I was always used to like and girls basketball funny enough so I was always always talking and inspiring groups of people so I always knew deep down that this is something that's meant for me which is why like it sort of just very naturally translated to a topic that I was really passionate about and I think you know there's so many people out there on

the internet you might think that oh my God there's so many different people doing the same thing as me how could I Stand Out You Stand Out by being you if you try to be somebody else you're going to be just like somebody else you have to do it your way way like Sinatra says I got the mic I might as well just sing it you you got to do it your way and be authentic to who you are know your skill sets know what you're passionate about and if you follow that and you you implement the you know the hard work as far as you know you got to post every single day you want to start a business you want to be famous you got to post every single day and you know there's going to be days you don't want to do it you got to do it anyway because you know why it's not going to happen if you don't do it no one's going to come pick you up and say oh my God you're the next I'm going to give you a million dollars

or you're you're the next uh famous superstar it's like no you have to put in the work even on days when you don't want to and there trust me there are days where I'm like maybe I'm not feeling 100% I'm a little down or whatnot and I'm like you know what I got to I got to still I still got to do what I got to do today and you it's all about you know you got to take care of yourself as well if you're feeling burned out you got to put that energy back into yourself because you can't help people if you're not feeling you know 100% but more or less it's just like anything like it's not going to happen and unless you put the effort in to make it happen and you know the world's huge there's a lot of people out there so there's space for everyone to be successful and make money so true yeah I'm I'm with you on that one all right so don't you think to your point of like those days that you you know you

and I do different things but similar in that we're helping people there's days where if you're not feeling it and you wake up and you're like H I don't want to go on camera or I don't want to have to create content right now the minute you actually just make it about the person and go to help somebody you're like and then you get that note back and then all of a sudden you're like flying higher so this is when I feel like you know you're in the right business that to me that that is like the greatest gift the best way I can ever take myself out of a funk is stop making it about me and like make it about helping one person doesn't even matter who it is just like go Target one person that I could potentially help and then when you do you feel like so alive you need to exactly because we all have our egos we all have our goals and once you start making about me me me you kind of just start to you start to overthink I I I'm

I'm reading all these different books about thinking The Power of Now overthinking all these different things I'm like you have to present moment just like you said you're helping one person if you're talking to the camera you're helping that one person if you're on a coaching call you're helping that one person and taking that emphasis off of me me me put it on them what could I do for this one person how can I spread positivity love good energy and when you focus on that yeah once you get started the hardest part is literally let's say you have to film a video is the getting up putting the camera up and starting it because once you get rolling if this like you said is what you're meant to be doing it just starts to flow naturally and then you get into the state where you're like oh okay like I'm kind of in it now and then it just you know it just flows but I I agree with you you're totally right okay so let's talk a

little bit about because I find this so interesting and your content is so interesting I think your content's really really good I was surprised as I said I was sitting there at dinner and all of these women that I'm with all all know about you and then randomly I'm getting my hair done today and my hairdresser knows and I'm like oh my God I love it well now I know ni but it was just so interesting like wow you know the internet's so big that you could miss somebody okay so I have all these people in my life that are big fans of yours I'm so curious to understand what have you learned about women or like what are the common issues that you see that are happening with women through the work that you're doing M see that's it's so funny because every person's situation is so nuanced and different and yet it's really all the same at the same time I think one of the biggest problems that I talk about a lot because you know we

don't care about someone we went on a date with and it was like okay that's not who we care about we care about making it work with the one person that we meet and there's the spark right because when you meet somebody and you feel that spark what tends to happen is you want want to see this person you want to see this person you want to talk to this person and I think where a lot of people sort of mess up is they go too hot and heavy too quick I make a lot of videos about this a fast-paced relationship from when when I mean like you're you're texting all day long you're talking on the phone you're seeing him Wednesday Saturday Tuesday it's just off the bat it's the the the intensity is all the way at the top that pace only benefits men because a man can get so much out of a relationship if that's the speed in 2 weeks to a month then a woman can cuz odds are you're building that super strong connection

you're going to be more likely to be intimate you might get intimate and he's playing house essentially he's playing girlfriend for the month he'll take you on a trip maybe he'll take you here take you there because men love spending their money doing cool things with beautiful women why wouldn't they that's the that's the point of making money and doing men want to spend it on beautiful women so they'll push the pace get I would say like he gets the hooks in and then after a month after he's kind of gotten bored he's like all right well kind of on to the next one now and that happens a lot and then a lot of people will say to me well Nico like no if I feel like it's meant for me like why do I have to play games it's not playing games it's moving a little bit slower and protecting yourself the right man for you won't mind moving a little bit slower because I always say healthy masculine man are are okay with delay

delayed gratification right men who want something out of you want it now want it now fast fast fast so if a man is willing to pursue you one date I always say like one date per week for the first month and then after that point you could pick it up to twice a week and then the communication it should always be a positive upwards trajectory when people jump into we're talking all day long phone calls phone calls you can't keep the engine running at 9 90% all the time it's going to go down and once it starts to go down that's when you're going to get anxious and you're going to start spiraling and then you start wondering what is he doing does he like me anymore and then maybe he pulls back even more oh my God oh my God then he comes back oh yeah he loves me again and it just creates this nightmare spiraling scenario when really if you just kind of kept him as arms distance because this is a stranger you don't know this person

yet keep them at Arms distance and slowly over time because you can't expedite love Time Love Takes time so until enough time has gone by you wouldn't know the answer to that anyway seeing him every other day and and talking all day long can't make that process happen faster it takes time for that to happen and a man who's after quick and Casual doesn't want to put in that time men who are seriously dating are willing to put in that time because the most valuable thing we have is time so he wants so a guy who's after casual wants to maximize everything he can get out of you out of the shortest period of time possible and the guy who's meant for you who wants to be with you won't mind going slower because he sees the big picture he sees your value right when he met you he this is a girlfriend material like I want to push this towards there and he will be willing to put in that work to get there so I take that a long answer

but that is my biggest that's the biggest thing one of the biggest problems I see in dating is this oh my God we have a connection I have to act on it we have to I have to see you every day talk all day long talk that slow it down slow it down because hly it's more attractive if you're a little bit harder to get a little bit aloof a little bit a little mysterious you're not super super available it's more attractive anyway so and and you learn if you like somebody like I said through that space apart do you miss the person all right so that's great that's a good sign but if you're seeing them every other day you don't know if you could even miss somebody so slowing down that pace and controlling that anxious sort of looping thoughts and you know behaviors in yourself is probably one of the bigger problems that I see when you when people meet somebody who they're crazy about your business

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in your life like get over it so I pull away from people which is not nice either because I hear like that's cold and like you know you're too busy for everybody so it's a weird thing you've got to hear this from people like because it gets in your head of like what's actually real what am I actually maybe I'm avoiding something by being busy with like so you have to figure out your own self-awareness and like your own issues right and then you go back to the dating world and you're like and everyone else has their own issues and their own BS going on and there's all this advice coming at you so you're saying okay I want to show up as that real version of me I don't want to play games anymore like I just want to be myself however to your point there are games being played on the other end so like how do you find that happy medium yeah so when I when I when I use the word game like playing there's playing

games and then there's game okay playing games is the game is the understanding of Attraction women have game men have game do you understand how to be the most attractive version of yourself do you know what the other the opposite sex finds attractive so that's first and foremost playing games is using that knowledge to manipulate we don't want somebody who's playing games we want everyone to understand game and understand just you know a human psychology to a a baseline level I'm not a doctor but like there's an understanding of this and just like I was saying before it's the being a little mysterious not being super easy to contact all the time and this and it's it's it's not playing games it's understanding like the proper space and flow of how to slowly build a relationship this is on both the man and the woman so it it it's it's kind of hard to be like this is all on the woman because if a guy's not doing it not

showing up in that way it's not going to work but when I talk about like how a healthy masculine man sort of goes about the courting stages exactly like to your point where you're like I pull away if a guy's doing too much which you should because that is needy energy needy behavior and since you're extremely securing yourself you don't like that repels you like you know how like they talk about nice guys nice guys TP typically give that sort of needy energy which is not attractive it's not attractive at all the perfect when the reason why people I'm going down a tangent here but the reason why but the reason why people find like quote unquote like [ __ ] boys attractive is because it's the opposite end of the spectrum where they give you no attention so you're saying to yourself this guy must be so busy and so cool and this might be subconscious or conscious this guy must be so busy and so cool I

want to be a part of his life I want to I want to crack the code that's attractive that is never going to change that is never going to change so as a man how do you manufacture that attraction while also being a good guy right so when I talk to guys it's not being too needy we're not blowing women up it's the it's the same advice I give to men and women but it's just sort of flipped it's the one date per week you're about your purpose you're about your life you're about the goals you're you're working on your business whatever you have going on and you prioritize the woman who you're serious about appropriately for where you are in the relationship one day per week and then you build from there where on the flip side it's important that women look at it that same exact way because it's just a he it's just the healthier Pace to go about it so it's funny that my man advice and women advice although it's

different as far as the attraction like how to kind of go about things but the messaging as far as how to build a healthy relationship of what that feels like is the same which I think is yeah yeah go tell us about the game part about the um I guess having game like the Attraction part I'm so curious because I've never heard someone jump into that I would like to hear how you from from a man's perspective or a woman's perspective um give us both okay so for a man a man understanding game is part of what you just said right if a guy comes across with the the the biggest kiss of death for most guys who wouldn't be because it's all dependent on the attraction level and the chemistry level right so let's say let's say you and I went out right and it's like attraction chemistry is at a 10 right I knowing that the only way I could mess that up is if I came at you super needy right if you already really

liked me thought I was attractive liked my vibe liked my energy the way I would mess that up with you is being too nice too eager all that kind of stuff that gives you the ick immediately right so un for a man understanding game it's why is that [ __ ] boy attractive because he's kind of aloof because he you know he he all all those things are bad because it's too much but if you just reel that in like 40% and you kind of get that 60% level it's like no I'mma Be about my business I go to the gym I I'm but I'm but I am going to be a good guy I'm going to communicate I'm going to set the dates once per week there's going to be consistent communication not constant communication she's always going to know when I'm GNA you know reach out to her she she knows when the date is and that's a direct like it's just like that Boom direct guy that's got his [ __ ] together that is attractive that is

extremely attractive and that's what I noticed when I talk to all these these women most guys aren aren't moving like this it's either side of the spectrum right and it depends on like your inner work and sort of like what you gravitate towards some people gravitate towards love bombers some people gravitate towards guys who don't really show them any attention and it's it's being able to acknowledge that and being like okay that is my pattern my pattern is I go this way so to fix it I got to reel that back more to the other side right I need a little bit more of a healthy balance the healthiest people are the people who sit more in the middle right you know you have both sides to your you've seen both sides you know how uh both types of energies feel right and you kind of bring yourself back to Center and I think that's I mean that's a really important part of it is knowing what your past pattern is and I think as far

as knowing game for women it's sort of what I was saying earlier it's not giving girlfriend access too quickly you want to remain a little mysterious a little hard to get the prize mentality men love accomplishing and achieving things that are hard I mean at least real men do they want to accomplish the things that are hard so if getting you is super easy and he knows within the first few messages with you that like this girl is This Woman's obsessed with me he'll still like you because you're attractive and he wants to pursue it but you kind of ruin a little bit of the potential magic where if you're just a little bit harder to get I'm not talking about playing games just just like I said just controlling the communication and how often you're giving this man access to come see you and whatnot you can create like a magnet effect where men are just drawn to that and a way to do that is kind of what you were talking

about like you're busy you're about your your passions and your purpose and stuff like that and I think that's a really helpful way to stay preoccupied so you're not like hyperfocused on you know men and and whatnot so there's like a there's a balance to it but that keeping that prize mentality and but really believing it but also part of believing is playing a little bit of fake it until you make it so it's like we can talk about that a little bit but it's this balance of both and like that mentality is attractive and naturally will have guys wanting to quote unquote like win okay but this is interesting to me because I especially over the last decade I swear I've heard this so much like oh be more feminine be be kinder be sweeter like that is what people say to me and I'm like but when something's inauthentic to you like a guy to your point is like sending to messages or like being his way like not being

considered or whatever I'm like pound s bye you know not interested and my friends like no no no no say like it would I'd appreciate if you would do it this but like whatever I so there's this tug and push back and forth between oh maybe I do that because people say you do that to like protect yourself cuz because you don't really want you know you're afraid to get into the situation so so how do you break that down how do you handle that yeah I think when I talk about masculine and feminine energies and polarities I mean it's totally true but we all have both within us like I have masculine and feminine energy you have masculine and feminine energy and with the right person it will balance out correctly and you need a polarity for there to be a healthy attraction a healthy relationship so either way like either the guy's really masculine and you're feminine or you're really masculine and he's more in his Fe there

needs to be some sort of polarity there for it to work but with the right man for you I'm sure you've experienced this with you'll you'll go on like 20 dates and there'll be one guy who you're just like I'm just I feel like I I'm the most feminine version of myself I don't have to think about anything I just I feel just so calm and relaxed and natural with this guy I and it's an amazing feeling so I mean in today's society I think we've sort of we lack a lot of true masculine men and we have a lot of toxic masculine men so it is a little bit harder to come by in that sense today and especially if you are like a really successful woman you are going to find less of that because naturally a success or a guy who's not super successful and say you're more successful than him he's going to naturally feel the competition there and because he doesn't make as much money as you or isn't as popular as you

or whatever the case may be triggers him and leads him to either trying to take you down or you'll just get more of like this closed off feminine energy kind of from him rather than like just owning okay yeah you're successful okay well I'm I'm Daddy doesn't matter you know what I mean so but that's a it's part of a man's Journey like that's sort of that self Journey where I talk about where for guys you got to be about your purpose you got to make your money you got to be on that life's path because that's where you get your true inner confidence as as a man from being about Fitness and just to being that best version of yourself that you could be so that when you're around women you're stepping into the most masculine version of yourself and there's nothing and the masculine isn't a bad word feminine isn't a bad word right but it just depends on the context and what how you actually feel what you want to be type

of partner that you want you know we all sort of gravitate towards different types of Partners and and and the sort of relationship Dynamic and nothing is wrong but I would say if you're feeling like you're stepping into you're you're always more feeling quote unquote ma more masculine you got to determine is it because I'm not finding the right person or am I coming into these relationships or these first dates or whatever the case may be too much in my logical mind and not sitting back and just really focusing on like the feeling I'm getting with this person it might not change it might not change but if you're going in looking for like does he check off this box does he check off that box like what is he doing what is this you're not gonna that's logical thinking where femininity is more just like flowing and sitting back and and feeling feeling so there is there's there's two parts of it like the right

person for you will have you stepping more into where you're supposed to be and but then there's also that inner work of making sure that you are showing up as the best version of yourself and stepping into the version of yourself like polarity wise that you want to be as well that's the sound of another sale on Shopify and the moment another business dream becomes a reality your reality Shopify is a Commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide including mine whether you're selling your Mastermind your courses whether you're selling your books shop simplify selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business and doing what you're great at creating whether it's fashion Home and Garden Health Beauty Shopify covers it all Shopify covers every sales channel from an in-person POS system to an all-in-one e-commerce platform it even lets you

sell across social media marketplaces like Tik Tok Facebook and Instagram packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth shoping Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code and let me tell you I have no idea about design or code so thank you Shopify for making it so easy and thanks to 247 help and an extensive Business course Library Shopify is there to support your success every step of the way what's incredible to me about Shopify is how no matter how big you want to grow no matter how big you currently are or how small you are Shopify is there to Empower you with the confidence and control to revolutionize your business take your business to that next level constantly adding on new products services and ideas now it's your turn to get serious about selling and try Shopify now this is possibility

powered by Shopify sign up for a $1 per month trial at shopify.com Monahan all lowercase m o n a an all lowercase sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Monahan all lowercase go to shopify.com Monahan to take your business to the next level today join me shopify.com manahan you can thank me later I love that you just said U very recently uh someone said to me a man said to me you need to step more into your feminine and um I was sharing it with one of my really close guy friends right I'm like oh my gosh listen to this conversation what's your take on it because I am super curious right like I'm very open-minded person I'm like I want to hear because if that's something I should be doing I want to you know try to do that and my friend said to me whoa whoa whoa wait a minute the right guy will put you in your feminine energy so Heather you don't have to try you'll just immediately be there and he said I

know I've seen it happen with you before he's like so wrong guy and so I thought that kind of that land is pretty um true to me what do you think about that I think that's true but I also think I mean just from talking to you right now you are perhaps a little bit of a harder person to put in that energy right like it's going to take there's a small percentage of guys who could make you feel that way and that's just what it is I mean you know it is what it is and you're a very successful person and you know you have your own things going on and and and you're you're loving the life you live you need a guy who's at that level to make you feel that way and or just has that inner confidence about himself that none of these things matter and it's just boom just like laser connection chemistry and it's almost like Primal is kind of a weird word but like sort of where no none of the external factors matter it's just the

energy you're getting from this person is just like electric and you and you automatically sit into that polarity difference so it's one of two things he either needs to be on your level or he just needs to be the guy who just instinctually is just naturally in that sort of um masculine energy and it puts you right into your feminine very easily it's so true and you know I look back on past relationships to some of the things that you're saying and when you're with somebody because of course you can still fall for different people who maybe don't have those traits that you totally totally but in the end the that issue will arise and become clear when I look back insecurity would end up bubbling up in those relationships in the man even though there was like this great connection and love and you know you fell in love but I would see over time oh my gosh he he's not becoming a stronger version of himself I'm actually

seeing that he's was not as strong as I thought he was and it wasn't for anything like nothing bad happen there was no cheating lying nothing like that it was just I saw over time wow this is really starting to reveal he is not secure in himself or in this relationship question for you how long into the relationship did you start seeing that probably you know within the first two months yeah okay so I I usually say a guy could this why I also talk about waiting a little bit longer slower pce because a man can't hide who he is forever it's gonna come out so if you get super locked into this relationship with this guy after just a few weeks or a month you're going to develop an empathy and this connection to a person who might not be right for you and only time will tell that so then a few months go by like you said because you you are probably really good at that you were able to see this guy's not who he said

he was where other people if they were super locked into that relationship they'll get to that point and they'll go he's not uh he's acting a little weird but that must be because I'm not doing something I need to help fix it like that people pleaser mentality right and I need to I mean why is he pulling away why is he acting weird I have to fix it right so the slower speed and and observing over time you're allowing your emotions to change to kind of like go at the same Pace as your logical mind instead of letting emotions go and then having The Logical kind of keep up so that that that just plays exactly into my point of a man can't hide who he is forever you'll see this around I would say the sort of the times you start to see who the person really is by three months because I say by three months you should be boyfriend and girlfriend so like by three months and then I would say between six and eight months is when

like you get your real true dose of like okay I have a really pretty good understanding of who this person is now and then by like a year year and a half you know the person and then obviously from there you kind of just get closer but by three months you should know enough about the person where you're like okay I'm I'm I'm ready to be in this relationship okay so you just made me think of something super interesting um and it just hit me right between the eyes when you said three months till you're in a boyfriend girlfriend situation interesting and I can't wait to hear your opinion on this yeah what factor does age play into that because immediately I have one girlfriend who's in her early 30s she will not if somebody hasn't made her the girlfriend within three weeks or four weeks I forget they're fired they're gone and she's on to the next one then there's someone like me I'm like what you

know like let's see what happens so how much of an issue is your actual age in determining in those things being a problem or or not so I would actually see it as the opposite I think the older you are I would be okay with the the title happening sooner 30 years old not boyfriend and boyfriend or girlfriend by three weeks that's not good I would say that's not good but I do always say this by that month Mark so let's say somewhere between three to five dates right you both should feel like you'll know with the right person like this is probably a relationship like we're heading towards there so you're going to feel like really secure and you should feel really secure with the right person that you know we're still early we're still getting to know each other but this feels like probably my person or someone I will most likely be in a relationship with and you won't be wondering so if your friend kept

bouncing really early that's because there were some inconsistencies of something that wasn't she wasn't feeling confident in the way things were going and she maybe just has a tendency to bounce a little bit early I mean I don't know the scenarios but I I think no I think for women and this is just my girlfriends but for the women that I know in their early 30s it's about they want a baby so the pressure to have a baby is real you I I know trust me I hear it I hear it every single day but like I said you can't expedite the process of love you can't there's no way to make it move faster there if there's a connection great it's still going to take x amount of time for that connection to turn into a serious relationship you can't expedite it so no you're you're absolutely right you have to give it the time all right so I want to ask your your um opinion on this what about breakups and what advice you give

people to overcome breakups faster because I know myself I know others that when you go down the rabbit hole of heartbreak it's hard to bounce back quickly so that's a really good question I mean I think you need to first things first get to a place in your life where you would say more or less I would be just as happy single or in a relationship and that might sound like a little harsh and a little like kind of weird but if you're not able to say that and obviously after a breakup you're going to be upset okay so that month after a breakup literally cry every single day all day long cry as much as you need to cry attack the feelings head on and get it all out get it all out because after that you should be so happy about the possibilities moving forward it's a new era of your life you're I don't know if you like Tony Robbins but I love Tony Robbins your life is the life you focus on so if

you're focusing on the negative oh my God we broke up this is wrong I'm not g to find somebody else you're just going to stay miserable right focusing on the positive and this new chapter that you might be entering into that's going to be super empowering and and you know I talk all about just like just empowering yourself and finding that inner confidence and self-esteem but breakups are hard they're always going to be hard they're never easy but I would say even if you are in a relationship now and maybe you're think it's might getting a little rocky whatnot try to start to try to find like the essence of who you were prior to that because realistically you shouldn't have really lost anything but the right person you're never going to lose who you are to be in a relationship with somebody if you feel like you are not the same person that you were that's a big red flag in my opinion you should

be a better version of that self right so you you just need to get to a place where you could say that I would be just as happy and believe it and like I said sometimes you get a fake until you make it I am going to be just as happy single as it was in a relationship I don't need somebody else to make me happy I don't need somebody else happiness comes from within you're in control of that really so how your outlook on life what you're looking at are we going to grieve a loss of somebody of course like you know it goes without saying you're of course going to be upset if this person you've been in a relationship for a few years breaks up with you but after that initial grief pass it's time to move forward because looking I mean what's the Looking Back what's that going to do you know unless you're constructively looking back and being like okay how could I do things different but okay so

tell us if somebody's in a relationship and they're wondering if they should break up what is the advice that you give when how does someone know when it is the time to leave a relationship another another very good question I would say if you're thinking about it all the time if you're constantly thinking about what if what if what if and waking up just Baseline level unhappy I would always say reflect back and say when was I the happiest I've ever been and if if your answer is oh like two years before I started dating so and so it's like okay well you have a you have a connection with a person you have an attraction there's a chemistry like there was and of course there is but now it's more of like a like a parasitic relationship not and A coping relationship not a thriving one that's growing so if that phrase what I just said resonates with you I would really think hard are you coping together or are you growing

together oh that's powerful I like that well said okay so I need to get I promis my ladies that I would ask some questions that they wanted me to ask you I got a fire away here I mean I'm repping for a lot of people right now okay so um he always talks about what women are experiencing in dating what are the men saying about dating uh so yeah guys you know what a a a lot of guys a lot of guys struggle in dating okay that percentage of men who Every Woman seems to like oh my God [ __ ] those guys they're horrible we're talking about like 10% of men realistically it's that top the top 10% of men they say gets 90% of the women they say that's like some quote something like that so a lot of men struggle with their confidence they're not about their passion and their purpose and their life they're not fit they're they they don't really know the proper way to be the most attractive version of themselves so

they tend to kind of just like botch the process by being too needy too nice guy which instinctually for women is repulsive it's repulsive right there's being a kind man a kind gentleman and there's being a nice guy people please her so they tend to kind of Veer that way they're not they're they're not about you know their style isn't up to point they're they're not uh they're not hitting the gym and they're kind of lost there's a lot of like lost guys out there that are looking to try to like get women as a way to kind of build themselves up so you see a lot of and that's why they start to gravitate towards toxic masculinity so it's either [ __ ] women we hate women or it's what could I do to make a woman sleep with the so there's a lot of guys in that middle category that are just either really nice guys who have the potential to be Daddy energy men because they're they're they they have the right they have the right

mindset they just haven't learned game learned the understanding of attraction or there are guys that go too far and they're just like those are borderline insults like they're like they hate women and they start to go you know down a really dark path so there's this I would say a majority of men are either stuck in their nice guy era or maybe trying to come back from a reformed [ __ ] boy era those are those are good guys or guys who are like screw this I'm done getting played by women who are just gold diggers you hear that all the time oh women are gold women are gold diggers like dude you you make like 60 Grand a year you's not she's not a gold digger you make no money so it men do struggle in dating I and I think and there are a lot of men who I'm rambling a little bit but there are a lot of men who you know emotionally we're talking about like emotional intelligence I think in the

man space like not a lot guys talk about like what they're upset about and they bottle up feelings and it kind of doesn't allow them to blossom into that best version of themselves or to even feel what being in a healthy relationship is so there's a lot of problems in the man space this could be a whole other conversation but it's it's a lot of com It's a combination of men who are jaded because some women messed them over and now they're going towards the [ __ ] boy area or nice guys who are in their process of self-discovery who are just learning how to be the most attractive versions of them themselves and are just sort of in that that phase of kind of learning that through their self growth all right work with more men to help us out okay I'm trying um online dating should women wait for men to be the one to initiate and this is coming from a woman who I know um she's recently single has not gotten into

online dating and I'm Nico I'm telling you so many my friends are there's so much trepidation about jumping in I say I would prefer if he messaged you first but I wouldn't say it's like a rule when I talk about women making the first move whether it's online whether it's Instagram dming somebody whether it's a a a dating app or in person just like tapping someone on the shoulder and saying something it's fine to make the first move but after that I always say hands off the wheel so you make the move and then see what he does with it because men aren't stupid they know like this woman's talking to me or she messaged me first she obviously likes me or thinks I'm attractive and wants me to to do something with it if he doesn't do something with it well I mean on dating app he wouldn't have a girlfriend but I mean I guess these days he might but he either if it's in person he either has a girlfriend or he's not interested and on

a dating app if he doesn't roll with it he's he could be lukewarm interested but you want a man that if you message him first takes the wheel and like me a few messages back and forth and he's like I would love to take you out so you want a man that's like boom boom boom let's get off the app let's get your phone number what are you doing this weekend High interest we want to deal with people who have high interest in us so it's okay to make the first move but you want him to respond with high interest and if his response is like you just chat with him for two weeks and nothing happens it's kind of it's lukewarm it's not it's probably not going to blossom into anything but it's okay to make a first move every now and okay but so then with someone if you're talking for two weeks and nothing's happened then when is it like okay to just say Okay bye probably I would unless there's like a legitimate reason like hey I'm about

to leave the country for a week and a half I would love to take you out when I get back then okay but if he's just chatting chatting chatting that's called keeping you on you're on the hook he's waiting until his schedule opens up enough to take you out what is he prioritizing instead could be other women could be his business could be friends doesn't matter it's not you and if it's not you and if he's not willing to I need to take this woman out like this is like oh my God this girl's gorgeous I got to take her out if he doesn't feel that and is making that move quick you're a roster option potentially oh my gosh never letting that happen for any of my people okay thank you for that one okay course what she said what rules quote unquote rules apply to online dating other than what you just shared with us I really think that's like my biggest thing like you want people you want to invest in people

who are high interest off the bat moving it that doesn't mean a guy who's like we don't but we don't want spontaneous so we don't want a guy that messag you messages you and say what are you doing tonight that's too available right that's too available that's being oh I'm eager wow I messaged this girl and she went out with me like the same night like she's she's crazy about me already you know so it's those boundaries of no he needs to book with me three four days in advance you know it depends we could be a little flexible but don't be super spontaneous with it and and prioritize the men who have the high interest in you I would say that's the biggest thing because red flags on dating apps are like very very obvious like we all know what that looks like don't ignore the obvious red flags but just prioritize the people who have a high interest okay I like that um I like to keep it simple

let's keep it simple I love the Easy Button okay is your advice different for older or younger clients no because men are the same at every age the only difference is how older men might communicate differently than younger men like and the use of the phone is probably a little different so like other than that the advice is basically the same could an older man might have like you know maybe he's divorced maybe has some kids so there are some other things that come in the way of his availability yeah but that's a case-by casee thing that we kind of look at but more or less it's the same like if he has free time and you're not being prioritized in that free time you're not a priority all men are the same every age they're the same there's there's different priorities in their life and things that they have to do based on their age and you know their life situation and their businesses and

whatnot but more or less like this the advice I give is applicable to every agent one thing that just hit me that I have to share with you and I want to find if if you see this or not I am shocked by people half my age that ask me out that are super confident however people my own age like you can just tell that they're nervous is that a thing that just younger guys these days are just super confident yeah and I I think it's one of those things where this is GNA sound really funny okay like they're them shooting up into a a a a like a person who's not who wouldn't naturally be in their league you kind of get more confidence you know like when you kind of almost when you completely sell to stepping outside your comfort zone and you just own it nothing to lose yeah you're nothing to lose exactly there's nothing to lose with a guy your age and you meet this guy your age he's intimidated and he's a little more shy

because he's like wow this is like exactly the type of person I'm looking for and he might not come forth with that same level of confidence where a younger guy with you it's like there's nothing to lose here like I'm just shooting for the stars and if we hits that's great that's so interesting okay is online dating successful or does he see more success when people first meet in person I think it's equal I would say it's totally equal I don't I think I use online online dating is a tool to meet people you can meet people in person you can meet people people online I mean nowadays you can meet anyone literally anywhere I don't think it's any less successful in per when you meet somebody in person I mean you're getting that true initial read right away so you'll be able to feel if there's that Che it kind of saves you some time if you met the person in person and it's obviously more of like a romantic story than like

we met on Bumble but like dating apps work still I mean a lot of people talk badly about them but dating apps are still successful you know I think they're successful I am not a master of dating apps but I've been on a dating app and the experience has not been great right so let me just in for a very short period of time well well I'd probably say this to the really high quality guys most likely like the really high quality guys most likely aren't on dating apps where the high quality women sometimes are so like a lot of women might find like there are no guys like we're all like the guys I want to see they're not on dating apps because everybody wants them so why would they go on a dating app when they could just open their Instagram and they got like 20 girls dming them oh my gosh how crazy all right so listen to this conundrum my whole life was like OG regular you go out somewhere people walk up to you they

ask you on a date if you there's chemistry you go out if not like peace out you know friends whatever that has been my whole life but now you know and I've had so many conversations with women and men about this like the place a lot of people goes dating after you have to try oh my gosh Nico I am the nicest person I always have the best intent to be kind to people people I have become a not nice person because you'll like turn on a dating app and there's so many people messaging you or whatever and then you just shut it off and go like oh I yeah it's overwhelming it's overwhelming it's overwhelming so it turns people into not nice people like the actual algorithm or platform or whatever it is like the entity turns nice people into not nice people and I can see how it's such a turnoff like how you could just get down on dating and I think that happens to a lot of women well if you really think about it

even if we want to talk about social media cu the two things are sort of combined we aren't meant to see all these people all these options we're meant to go out in real life and see people and talk to people in person so it like I said it's a great tool but with everything that's amazing there's always a downside to it the downside to it is that it creates a lot of anxiety it creates a lot of depression it creates a lot of like uncertainty and frustration so it's like I said it's using the tool but just managing it in a way that works for you like you know if if if you really don't like them and they cause you a lot of stress turn it off like delete it but but then you better be going out every single day with a big ass smile on your face talking to every single person you walk by on the street spreading love being that Beacon of good energy and Good Vibes because if you're not and you're just miserable miserable

miserable no one's going to talk to you and now you don't have a dating app and now no one wants to approach you cuz you look like a grumpy pants so if you if you want to turn off the dating apps that's fine but then you got to completely change your attitude towards how you're entering life and behaving and and your energy levels and the you know the frequency you're buzzing at so like I said use dating apps as a tool they're great but if they're not for you then you know we have to look at different methods to finding people but I think some combination of everything is the best way to go okay I love it all right so tell us about this new podcast what are we getting hyped up before February yeah I'm I'm so excited about it so it's called the daddy Academy it is going to be very similar to what I've been doing on Tik Tok live if anyone has followed me there where people come on ask questions the the format is going to

be hilarious like I like the thing about me is I like having fun I like laughing a little bit because the dating space you know it's tough you know we all you know you know there's a lot of problems here so we got to be able to laugh it off have a have a smile have a little bit of fun so it's going to be a fun format people coming on it's C Custom Custom set I got my Prof it looks like looks like a sexy Prof a sexy professor's office so I'm so so excited to show with people but yeah it's going to be a lot of uh engagement with my people in my community so you want to come on the show shoot me a DM and it's gonna yeah it's gonna be really special so I'm it's exactly what I've always wanted to do so I'm really excited to be kicking it off oh I'm so excited for you all right so how can people work with you how can people get a hold of you how can people follow you yes so if you want to well if you want to follow me

Instagram n n k m that's my Instagram Tik Tok well we'll see if it gets banned or not atth Daddy Academy um YouTube page at the daddy Academy so that's where the podcast is going to live probably on Spotify as well and you know if you want to work with me hit the link in my bio on Instagram or Tik Tok and it'll be a form you can fill out and if you want to work with me one-onone fill that out and we'll get back to you when we can work together and yeah that's that's basically it all right well I will link everything in the show notes guys um obviously follow Nico his content is amazing entertaining and you heard it from him first he's charismatic on top of it uh Nico thank you so much this was a blast it was so nice meeting you this is great it was so great seeing you thank you wishing you the best and we will be tuning in for the show guys until next week keep creating your confidence you know I will be

Questions about this episode

What is "#488: Your WORTH, Your RULES: Set Boundaries & ATTRACT the Right Person with Niko Emanuilidis..." about?

Niko Emanuilidis, known as the Daddy Academy, joins to discuss modern dating and relationships, offering humor and practical advice on setting personal boundaries to attract the right partners. With a growing following and media presence, he aims to empower individuals in their love lives by simplifying the complexities of romance.

What is mentioned in this Heather Monahan episode?

8 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including The Daddy Academy, Nico Emmanuel Lees, Girls Gotta Eat, Dating coaching, The Power of Now, Masculine and feminine energy. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "#488: Your WORTH, Your RULES: Set Boundaries & ATTRACT the Right Person with Niko Emanuilidis..."?

The episode runs 59 min; the transcript is about 12,113 words in 67 timestamped sections.

More from Heather Monahan

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 19, 2025.