Transcript

EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026

From Last Podcast On The Left · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 3 min · 11,846 words · 391 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026", an episode of Last Podcast On The Left published February 20, 2026 (1 h 3 min, about 11,846 words). It mentions 25 people, works and ideas, including Gigantic Cowboy, AI created art, Artificial Intelligence, Scissor Dude, Last Podcast Network.

What this episode is about

A chaotic, offbeat discussion centers on the Winter Olympics and the surreal, absurd banter among hosts, blending sports atmosphere with intentionally edgy humor and stream-of-consciousness storytelling. The dialogue highlights the performers’ commentary, crude humor, and scattered anecdotes as they navigate the final broadcast tone.

Key takeaways

  • Olympic obsession hijacks context: a chaotic stream where shaved mishaps become main events and the frost-bitten punchlines.
  • Winter Olympics fever reveals digital archeology: obscure memorabilia and memes outlasting actual sports moments.
  • Self-deprecating humor wins: authenticity and messy setup beats polished script, especially when dark bathrooms enter the chat.
  • Contrast tension: pristine athletic feats collide with backstage banter, exposing how hype amplifies the mundane.
  • Audience as protagonist: the crowd’s reactions steer the bits, turning a podcast into a shared, improv-powered arena.

Who speaks in this episode?

  • Eric (Guest) · 16 min speaking
  • Henry (Guest) · 13 min speaking
  • Chad (Guest) · 1 min speaking
  • Patito Muerto (Guest) · 1 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Winter Olympics, Last Podcast Network, Henry Zapowski, Chris Benwa
  2. – 20:00: Artificial Intelligence, Metropolitan, Love Liza, Peter Pan
  3. – 30:00: Glasgow, Chris Cody, Croatia, D'Angelo
  4. – 40:00: Metropolitan, Citizen Kane, NPR
  5. – 50:00: Scissor Dude
  6. – 1:00:00: Gigantic Cowboy, AI created art, Last Podcast Network

Notable quotes from "EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026"

  • We don't really pay attention to the Olympics. This must have just out in the ether. And I think that it did it to my phone because what I found When is it?
    about Winter Olympics · at
  • Okay. Because I'll tell you, it's probably Henry Zapowski.
    about Henry Zapowski · at
  • I'm always kind of scared when a dog living with a medical intuitive and an energy healer. Last night we went out for sushi and when they put the plate down of sushi in between us, I held up my hand to my husband. Don't touch it.
    about Sushi · at
  • [ __ ] guy like fall off his bicycle and his face? It's like if he wasn't wearing a helmet dead right outside the hardware store at Metropolitan. That was like the craziest [ __ ] bike accident I ever saw.
    about Metropolitan · at
  • YEAH, YOU WOULD CRY. THAT SCENE would make YOU THAT'S WHAT AI IS FOR. THAT'S WHAT AI IS FOR.
    about Artificial Intelligence · at
  • It's the worst smelling town I've ever been to. I will say that.
    about Glasgow · at
  • Spinning the scissors around, catching the scissors in various ways, and catching a pill bottle. And he goes by scissor dude.
    about Scissor Dude · at
  • Are you about to play Tiny Cowboy?
    about Gigantic Cowboy · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Scissor Dude — Person · Featured competitor (viral clip subject) · 3 mentions · first at
    A central 'object manipulation' contestant who spins scissors and catches objects; drives the 'wizard' framing and voting.
  • Henry Zapowski — Person · Referenced person (comparison / in-joke) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a possible identity for a wrestler-like figure; also referenced as 'Henry' in Studio City context.
  • Chris Cody — Person · Named participant (clip subject) · 1 mention · first at
    Identified as the name of the 'slide gymnast' featured in the acrobatics segment.
  • Patito Muerto — Person · Audience member (live chat) quoted · 1 mention · first at
    Provides a chat message about introducing a parent to the show, used as a quick comedic aside.
    Patito Muerto says, I got my mom into last podcast and the first thing I showed her, I showed her a video and the first thing she said was, Oh, how disappointing.
  • Chris Benwa — Person · Referenced person (dark wrestling reference) · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a time-marker joke about wrestling knowledge post-1999.
    If it happened after 1999 and it's not Chris Benwa murdering his entire family, I don't know about it.
  • D'Angelo — Person · Referenced artist (vocal style comparison) · 1 mention · first at
    Invoked to describe the vibe of a cameo singer: 'sexy '90s R&B'.
    Yeah. Cuz all of his songs are like that. He has like kind of like a sexy ' 90s R&B like thing about him. I like D'Angelo.

Companies & orgs

  • Last Podcast Network — Organization · Publisher / show network referenced on-air · 2 mentions · first at
    Identified as the network behind the show; also invoked when discussing their stance on AI-created art.
    And while we're doing that, we're going to play this one last little video. Now, we here at Last Podcast on the left, Last Podcast Network, we're distinctly against AI created art. We don't like it, hate it. none of us like it. But.
  • WWE — Company · Referenced company (wrestling context) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned while discussing 'Money in the Bank' and wrestling knowledge; provides context for a comparison joke.
    That's a pay-per-view. I is a thing. It's a WWE thing. You're asking the wrong people.

Products & tech

  • Sushi — Product · Prop in a clip / example · 1 mention · first at
    Appears in the 'medical intuitive/energy healer' video where the speaker claims to 'kill bacteria' with energy.

Concepts & topics

  • Gigantic Cowboy — Concept · Key comedic artifact (AI video) / focal bit · 4 mentions · first at
    An AI-generated fetish-style video repeatedly referenced as uniquely compelling despite the hosts' anti-AI stance.
  • AI created art — Concept · Debated concept / ethical stance · 2 mentions · first at
    Explicitly opposed by the hosts/network, yet partially exception-granted for 'Gigantic Cowboy' as a compelling artifact.
    To play this one last little video. Now, we here at Last Podcast on the left, Last Podcast Network, we're distinctly against AI created art. We don't like it, hate it. none of us like it. But against it,.
  • Artificial Intelligence — Concept · Debated concept / controversy · 1 mention · first at
    Discussed as 'AI slop' and debated for rare cases where it evokes emotion; central to the 'Gigantic Cowboy' segment.

Places & events

  • Winter Olympics — Event · Running gag / framing device · 3 mentions · first at
    Used as the comedic premise for an 'Everyman Olympics' of viral skill clips; also briefly discussed as the real Olympics.
  • Glasgow — Place · Anecdote setting (tour story) · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a city with a distinctive smell/food and memorable post-show experiences; used for comedic travel commentary.
  • Metropolitan — Place · Local landmark reference · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the site near a severe bicycle accident and later as a 'Grand Stop' where an opera voice would fit.
  • Studio City — Place · Local reference / joke setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a place associated with 'Henry' in a comedic boast.
    Yeah. the [ __ ] best [ __ ] in all of Studio City.
  • Croatia — Place · Geography reference in sand/beach discussion · 1 mention · first at
    Used as an example of an Eastern European beach destination when speculating where a building-jump clip might be filmed.
    So in Eastern Europe in those countries, Slovenia for example, Croatia is where people that's their beach area.
  • Utah — Place · Referenced statistic / aside · 1 mention
    Cited via chat as a reason to be less interested in the Olympics (many US Olympians from Utah).
  • Black Sea — Place · Geography reference · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a speculative aside about where there might be sand near Eastern European buildings.
    And I think that in the Black Sea there's sand.
  • Baltic Sea — Place · Geography reference · 1 mention · first at
    Paired with the Black Sea in a brief discussion about sand and regional geography.

Media & podcasts

  • Peter Pan — Character · Metaphor / reference point · 1 mention · first at
    Used to express envy of acrobatic/parkour abilities and the fantasy of being light and flying.
    All right. I'm impressed by them by these people. They are They make me want to be Peter Pan.
  • Love Liza — Media · Film reference (tone comparison) · 1 mention · first at
    Used to describe how depressing a trampoline-park clip would be if inserted into a dark drama.
    And like a really dark movie like this if you put this in like put this in the middle of Love Liza.
  • The Bachelor — Media · TV format reference / joke · 1 mention · first at
    Used as an example of reality-TV competition formats and proposed as an 'Olympic Edition' mashup.
    So, The Bachelor Olympic Edition.
  • NPR — Media · Style comparison · 1 mention · first at
    Invoked to characterize the pleasant, cultured vibe of an opera/falsetto street performance.
    It's like NPR. It'd be great if he was at the Metropolitan Grand Stop. He'd be great for there.
  • Citizen Kane — Media · Cultural reference (voice comparison) · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced to compare the opera singer's tone to a character associated with the film.
    Mhm. he does sound a little bit like Charles Foster Kane's wife and Citizen Kane.

Full transcript with timestamps

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stray on the left. That's when the cannibalism started.

Laugh you [ __ ] pigs. Ah, what's that sound? It's the sound of the crowd. It's the sound of the athletes. It's the sounds of the torches being lit. Yes, everybody knows. Everybody here at Last Podcast Network is absolutely entranced by the Winter Olympics.

You're so entranced that you've got some white [ __ ] in your beard. On what beard?

Wait, am I on my mustache? Your mustache. Yeah. You got some white [ __ ] stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't know if it's on both sides or toothpaste or just

It's cream. No, it's cremps. I shaved. Oh, you shaved. I shaved. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's cremps.

It's amazing that I didn't I've been talking to you for like 30 minutes. Ripped off your skin now that I'm like staring at you.

No, it's sh I'm shaved. I did it with a rusty tunic lid. What do you Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. I did it real fast in the dark. I did have to do in the dark. Why you have dark in the bathroom? What? What? Why do you have no lights?

The bathroom that you would possibly be in. Oh, Chad says it's come. Oh, Chad says it's come.

Your [ __ ] your toilet. It needs to be plugged into the wall. So, right now I'm in a bit of a situation in which I'm showering inside of the bathtub in the our bedroom, right? So, I'm showering. We have a shower inside of the bathtub. I'm shower. I get down on my all fours like a dog. I wash myself inside of the shower. This is what I did. And the thing was that it was cold in there. So, I closed the doors. is I forgot to shut the lights. I forgot to turn the lights on. It was cold in the bathroom. So, I I closed it to let it warm up due to the hot water. And then what I did is that I went in there and as by time I already got wet. I realized I'd never turn the lights on and I just didn't care cuz I was I was wet. So, I didn't want to go across to do the thing. So, now I'm hot cuz I'm I'm warm in the water. So, I want to stay in the water. I don't want to get up and do that. So, I just shaved

as I was. You were so bad at being successful. I keep it real. I keep it real. And that's what the AUDIENCE LIKES ABOUT ME.

YEAH. I'm not too different. I'm able to grow. Yeah. I'm not too different. And yet, if the power goes out, you can't take a [ __ ] in your house.

Just in that one toilet. Oh, okay. I can [ __ ] in the upstairs toilet, but it was pitch black.

Yeah. And I could do it with the ambient light of the day. Mhm. It's pitch black in there. If you ever when you [ __ ] in the pitch black.

Why didn't Why not go downstairs and shave down there? Where? In the downstairs. You have two bathrooms.

The middle bathroom. Yeah, I go in that one. But you shaved in the dark instead of going to the place with THE LIGHT.

THE SHAVING STUFF WAS UPSTAIRS. OH MY GOSH. THIS IS THE Winter Olympics. It's my mandate. Okay. This is all about the Winter Olympics. Everything. I'm You know me. Olympic fever.

Yeah. Always Olympic fever. Always. Winter and summer. that I love. I can't believe how good I have it.

That was great. It was great, Eric. The Portsmith Symphonium. I discovered obviously because I keep it real

because you guys look at me and you know that I'm not I don't walk with rarified air.

No. No. You still got [ __ ] all over your face. Can you actually zoom back in? It's all over on your cheeks. Weird little blood there. I didn't see that. I didn't see that little micro cut.

Yeah, you did a bad job. I didn't see that one. It was dark. Yeah, you got It's like you did you dry yourself with toilet tissue cuz you got

No, it's creams. It's flaking like it's It's cuz I had extra cream. I didn't fully rub it in because it was in the dark. I didn't see it all.

Uhhuh. I went downstairs. You've been around many mayors since then. Uh, Patito Muerto says, "I got my mom into last podcast and the first thing I showed her, I showed her a video and the first thing she said was, "Oh, how disappointing.

What is this wet with?" Rob water. You're going to dry my skin out. Yeah. Yeah.

Not if you keep putting water. If you're always wet, then you're never dry. Ask a seal. So, was the mother disappointed in them for showing the video or disappointed in us?

I think me. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You specifically. Here we go. So, let's go. Let's just But YOU KNOW, SO WHAT happened was is that I'm I'm was kind of full of it, right? We don't really pay attention to the Olympics. This must have just out in the ether. And I think that it did it to my phone because what I found

When is it? I think it started about a week or two ago. How long are these things?

Two weeks. Is it two weeks? I think it's too easy. I think it's a waste of money and time,

but otherwise than that, it's very entertaining. Where is it this year? Quebec.

Italy. Italy. Yeah, that's a I think winter. Yeah. First thought is ravioli. Yeah. You can't ski without

winter ravioli. Aobuko. So accidentally I guess as I was going through because sports is out there sports that I my algorithm collected what I am really I can't believe like like skilled men. Okay. And so what I have here is a collection of some of the most skilled men I've ever seen on social media. So

what kind of skill are we talking artisans? Are we talking athletes? We all over all types of skills. And not only are we gonna talk, they're gonna compete.

I hope I see a chair get built. I I No, nothing that Nothing like that. Nothing like that. Yes. Marcos Tuesday flannel. Who's that wrestler that won Money in the Bank by accident? Henry looks like him.

That one Money in the Bank by accident. That's a wrestling thing. Money in the Bank.

That's a pay-per-view. I is a thing. It's a WWE thing. You're asking the wrong people.

Yeah. We don't care. Okay. Because I'll tell you, it's probably Henry Zapowski.

Yeah. the [ __ ] best [ __ ] in all of Studio City. If it happened after 1999 and it's not Chris Benwa murdering his entire family, I don't know about it.

Brady says a third of the Olympians representing the US are from Utah. If that makes you even less interested.

Yes. So, now is our first event, one of the most important events in today's heat.

It's the speed event. Oh, that guy. That I don't know who that guy is. Is that dusty rose?

I can see what they were talking about, though. Said gold dust. No, gold dust is far more interesting.

Very interesting. So, we're going to vote after this. Is there So, there's going to be heats.

Yes. Okay. Is the audience going to vote or the audience is going to vote? All right.

Speed. This one is speed. Now, truly incredible. What I have found are I can't believe they allowed themselves to be filmed on social media without being paid up front. Ah,

this is the fastest man alive. I love this. Wow, he's fast. Sped up about that. That's natural speed.

Oh, he's like a cobra with that big lighter. Wow. All right, look at him again.

Get him a gun. Get another one. Here he is. fighters. What is the speed of light? The speed of light it's real, not fake. This is very important.

Okay. Yes, it is. And let's get loosen. It's important the explosion in relaxed state.

Okay. Super relaxed. He's just at 70%. 70% what% strength speed. Yeah. 85%. He knows. He knows the exact percent.

Okay. Wow. Dang. I mean, it does seem slightly faster. Jesus Christ, he's fast.

He is incredibly fast. Yes. Harbinger of Goon. The dad is taking the the divorce. WELL, HEY. WOW,

that was amazing. Now, IF YOU THOUGHT THAT guy was fast. Yeah, I did. There's someone faster

at grabbing things. Maybe. We'll see what the audience says. Oh, wow. Oh, cuz they're going to pick. Let's see how fast this [ __ ] guy is.

Shaming the other guy. Oh, he's mogging him. Oh my god. Speed mugging and looks maxing.

SEE? SEE? LOOK AT THAT'S [ __ ] unbelievable. Dude, this guy looks just like my friend Psycho Tony.

He does look like Psycho Tony. It might be him. He was a waiter for a long time.

That's a waiter if I've seen one. Yeah, he is a waiter's face. He is. He looks like he knows what the specials are. Whoa, that's

I mean that one. I mean that's He's more impressive. He's far more impressive. I mean

I don't know. MAYBE he's so fast that he can't even DO IT. HE'S SO FAST. He's going to vote.

He's good. He's going to vote. We're going to have to take it all the way to the judges. Italian divorced dad or Williamsburg barista. Who's America?

Hey, go so fast. You ripping your [ __ ] off. I'll rip your [ __ ] off. And while we're doing a little voting intermission, let's see what's life is like with a med medical intuitive.

What's a medical intuitive? They can smell diabetes. Oh, a dog. Like a dog. Yeah.

I'm always kind of scared when a dog living with a medical intuitive and an energy healer. Last night we went out for sushi and when they put the plate down of sushi in between us, I held up my hand to my husband. Don't touch it. He knows to back off. And I could sense that there was bacteria in the fish. I didn't want us to get sick. So I used energy, killed all the bacteria. We ate it, felt great. And my husband just smiled and said, "This is my life now. You can get those energy abilities, too." And I highly recommend it. Keeps us a lot healthier.

Oh, that's so nice. She's magical. So there's definitely two ways that actually did go. It could have been this is my life now. Or it could be.

This is my life now. My [ __ ] life now. This is my life. This is my [ __ ] life now. Like I can't believe I can't believe I gave you access to my bank account.

Don't touch those eggs. No, no, no. Don't touch those eggs. Those eggs are jealous.

Jubilee. Jubilee. Jubilee. Jubilee. Now the eggs are confident. Like, are you attractive enough for me to deal with this?

JUBILEE, JUBILEE. THAT'S THAT'S A WELL PUT TOGETHER WOMAN. That is a woman with a good enough body to be that difficult.

She's She takes care. Look at her. She takes care of herself. THAT'S A DIFF that is a woman that is You need to have that difficulty to be that woman.

If you're slowing down when you're older, you know, I mean, why not? Yeah. What do you mean?

You know, you're slowing down. You don't need to eat right away. You can wait a second while she puts her spells on it.

Victoria says, "This is the kind of woman I refer to as a Karen Crystal fucker."

Yeah. See, I view her as I mean, she's still got it going on. I I heard she likes to get ammeifested.

You got to be careful, though. I was reading about that uh with women being with men with unclean hands that sometimes they got like little bits of fiberglass like up in the grimy big index fingers from what they've been working with. They can they finger you and stuff. They can end up leaving kind of pieces of inside of you and they end up giving making scar tissue.

You stay warm, insulated. You've been hearing about that, huh? You and your sparrows.

All right, we have our gold winner. Our gold IS THE CHALLENGER. YEAH. AND WE'VE NEVER THE WAITER. THE WAITER. And the silver is the divorced father.

The moger. Now, this next event is on I got to say of today's event, the other one was the most important. This is probably my favorite.

Okay, it's incredible what we have here in the studio today. We're about to see some acrobatics.

All right, acrobatics. Acrobatics. These guys, the next couple people we're going to see. I'm I'm not even exaggerating. I'm actually pretty impressed by a lot of what they did.

Okay. All right. I'm impressed by them by these people. They are They make me want to be Peter Pan.

Okay. You know, they make wish make me wish I was light as a feather. Up on, you know, those like a up on the the strings flying around.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a harlequeen. Yeah. That's what I wish I was. But these guys actually get to live that.

Like a pig on a string. Yep. You are like the prized pig that doesn't know it's about to get murdered.

Oh, the food's been especially delicious. So, let's go over this first one. This guy, he may not look like the guy you'd think be doing this,

but he is. This one's pretty impressive. Is that He's like 35. Flipper fight. He barely touched it with time. Everyone's good.

So this is and is available. So this is parkour. This is parkour, but it's not dangerous parkour.

It's subtle. This is more Now he's here. No, this is him in action. In action. Look. Whoa. That's crazy. I don't know what that you call it. It's like a spllay kick. Spllay jump.

You know what? I can't make fun of him. Right. I I I I watched it for hours trying to make fun of him. He's good at it.

He's good at it. But the more I watch it, I think this is a man who's using his time on Earth wisely.

You think so? I really do think so. Like he could be spending all of his time watching TV, doing whatever. He's doing this instead. I applaud it.

Solid. He doesn't look good doing it, but he's [ __ ] doing it. Yeah. You know, that's the thing is like

he impresses the balls off of him. He hasn't missed once, so I guess he doesn't put those in there.

No, you wouldn't. slacking off. I will say he is out of shape enough where he will get really hurt.

He could eventually get very hurt. I think right now the his youth is helping him. And

the other guys I see do this, you can see like, "Oh, that guy can land on his head and he'll be fine."

K Jesus says, "This is how I imagined Andrew Kunan and hyping himself up." I just s about that, right? I don't know why,

man. Do you remember when we saw that [ __ ] guy like fall off his bicycle and his face? It's like if he wasn't wearing a helmet dead right outside the hardware store at Metropolitan. That was like the craziest [ __ ] bike accident I ever saw.

But the guy got he like the helmet fell apart and he just thank God. He was like so in shape that he just like sprung back up and he was like h and I was like man that would have ruined my life. Like I that would completely

Worst bike accident I ever had was in college. I was taking off. I was feeling real good. I had just come out of a test. I was on campus and I pressed down on one pedal. The chain popped off and I flew over the handlebars into the middle of the road and I looked up and a man was asking me if I was okay and it was my HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.

AH, WEIRD. IT'S KIND of nice. Really strange. I can't ride a bike. I know. It's really sad and weird.

Yeah. Yeah. I It's not that hard. Although when I learned to ride a bike, I I went straight into a park police car.

Yeah. It's nice. Yeah. Here we go. Here's funny way to start. I don't need to ride a bike. I have a car. So, now we have this this next one. There's another gymnast very Why, Gertie? My mommy never taught me. My dad never taught me. They didn't engage with me. I had to learn how to shave from the encyclopedia.

Yeah. In Brook in Queens, they don't learn how to ride bikes, just steal them. Yeah. You know, Yeah. Especially me. All right. So, this next one's real. That's another really good. Yes. Eight nickels. I do like that. That man did not attempt anything taller than three and a half feet. He knows his skills.

Yes, he knows his limits. And it might be that his significant other may have said, "You can keep doing your parkour, but just nothing above 5T."

Keep first floor. Mhm. First floor. So, this next one um is like that. Okay. Different type of guy, right?

Same style of man. That is a happy person. I hear what you say. Loves trampoline parks. So happy. Like honestly, we could all be so lucky, right?

God, it is funny. This is one of his lesser impressive ones. I It's like I bet he just goes out and like throws rocks for a while, dude.

Seems like that kind of guy. Think about bring back spinning a wheel with a stick.

I feel his joy. I feel it. Yeah. This is beautiful. Wow. He's going to throw up on that thing.

I don't, you know, like he is like a [ __ ] boxer. We were talking earlier. Was that slide made for that?

Well, I think you're supposed to go up and down. I I think the slide is kind of you can do whatever you need to with it.

I don't think it's regulation. Yeah. You know what I mean? No. This next one, this is a skill.

Adult. You should have been You shouldn't be an adult. I'm not, you know, I'm happy for him.

Yeah, but that's for children. What he he's in a place for children and he is obviously I'm just gonna go ahead and I'm just going to guess he's very smelly.

You know, I bet I'm going to guess he's extremely smelly. I think that he's got a bit of what you'd call an anime perfume.

He works there. He does not work there. I know he doesn't work there because several of his videos talks about him talking to children about the better trampoline parks.

I see. I see. So that's a trampoline park. He does look like he'd be played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Absolutely. And like a really dark movie like this if you put this in like put this in the middle of Love Liza.

OH YOU OH MY GOD. After he's done huffing all the paint and then he Oh, you'd cry.

YEAH, YOU WOULD CRY. THAT THAT SCENE would make YOU THAT'S WHAT AI IS FOR. THAT'S WHAT AI IS FOR.

All right. I am flying. I'm flying. I'm flying. Same principle. Oh, that's funny. All right. This next one, his main skill is bravery. All right.

Look at this idiot. He's just jumping off a building. All right. And they're all acting like he I I know that hurt. I know that that hurt him. God.

All right. There are many videos of him just jumping off the building. Oh, he's probably dead.

No, it's just not what you got to do. That is literally just because he's like 18 years old. There's the only reason why he could remotely do that.

Well, his knees are bent. I know that's good. But that's not I don't think anybody should be doing that. He's landed. Does he always land in sand?

Yes, in that environment he does. Yeah, there other ones I've also seen just and NOW THE POLL IS LIVE. WE'RE GOING TO GO. WE'RE GOING TO GIVE out the medals. Uh my question is I've also seen a big thing recently of dudes jumping off of buildings onto trees.

Oh yeah. And also Yeah. And also like light poles. Yeah. But just like it's real bad, man.

Down. It's real bad. Remember, you're voting for the chubby parkour man. Subtle parkour. My slide gymnast. and the skill that's called digest it and die.

What country does he live in where there are many buildings with uh many pits of sand right next to them.

It looks Eastern European. So in Eastern Europe in those countries, Slovenia for example,

Croatia is where people that's their beach area. Uhhuh. They go to the beaches there.

Okay. It's like their jersey. So there could be much sand in Croatia. I think that in Croatia there's sand. And I think that in the Black Sea there's sand.

On the Baltic Sea. Yes. Right. I always kind of felt Ireland was Jersey, but now I know that's Massachusetts.

Yeah, Ireland is Massachusetts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Scotland is hell on earth. That's not true. We love Scotland.

Yeah. I like it, but it's, you know, let's do our voting information. Glascow smells weird.

It's all It's got a unique Yeah. patina. It's the worst smelling town I've ever been to. I will say that.

It's weirdest food. It's the best. You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. Yes.

You know, it's like it's like, "Oh, you guys are scary." And then like, "Oh, [ __ ] you." And then I say, "You're not scary." Like, "Fuck you." Glasgo scary.

Glasgow was one of those cities in which the people were truly the most important part.

Oh, so they were acronites. Truly. Yes. That was the only place I've ever been where two men tried to have sex with me after a show.

Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah, it did. Yeah, they were the last US men step up. Yeah. Do these Scottish punks.

Do you want to try this voter submission? Let's do this voter intermission video because people could see.

It's rough out here. absolutely hate pumping gas, but here's the safety protocol I follow every single time I do. First, I make sure that I'm concealed carrying, not open carrying, and I lock my doors. Here's the biggest safety hack. When you pull up, you want to create a lot of space between you and the pump.

Fatal funnel. You do not want to be here. This is where bad guy can attack you very gas station in this space very long. Put your card information. Make sure that you are checking your six and looking behind you. When you do this, with the automatic setting on for the gas and then here's the best part. Use the four corners of your car. Do not stand at the pump like everybody else. As you can see here, if this was helpful, then share this video and follow me for more practical self-defense tips.

There's a whole world of these, you know. And this is this is interesting because, you know, I I have heard like back in, you know, people in Texas, they are terrified of gas stations. They are ABSOLUTELY

WHY ARE THEY TERRIFIED of gas station? I have never heard of A SINGLE I MEAN, THEY get held up. I mean, every once in a while, but it's like they're acting like they pump gas in Fallujah. Like, it's fine.

It's your state. It's, you know what I mean? IT'S YOUR [ __ ] STATE. IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU have to protect yourself FROM EVERY ANGLE, YEAH. LEAVE.

YEAH. YOU'RE IN A BAD PLACE. ALSO, this happens. Look at this. Someone to fire a gun next to a bunch of gas pumps.

Oh my god. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you think a shootout's going to help? Yeah. Desert Spring says, "When my mother-in-law found out I pumped my own gas by myself, she said, "This is what feminism has done to this country."

It's very funny. You wait for your husband. Morgan Le, same kind of white woman that makes Tik Toks of putting her kids in the bathtub with a go bag every time there's a thunderstorm. Yes, it's that. And it's like, but I'm also seeing a lot of this. I I saw I sent one to Amber recently because it was funny. It's like cuz the thing is is that it's middle-aged women going like getting ready for her first date and it's just showing her how she does her like she does her concealed carry for her first [ __ ] date and then she going like out of like a like a capri pants just going

like what are you going to do? Who are you going to shoot in the [ __ ] head? Her date.

I think we should get Kelly a gun. Honestly, I've been saying that. I want every I want the whole staff.

I want the whole staff. We're not gonna have guns, but everyone around us will be armed.

I want you all armed, too. Tupac, man. All right, here we go. This is the award ceremony. Gold

for the chubby parkour, obviously. Silver for our slide gymnast and bronze for the guy who just didn't die.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. Wait, say who got gold? Chubby parkour, the first guy. You wouldn't have given him gold. You like the slide guy.

I like the slide guy, but I'm a style man myself. Is this the slide guy or is this a slide guy?

No, he's silver. He's silver. This is a slide guy. I just saying he's got other ones where he can he jumps.

Oh, his name's Cody. See, that's the thing is the other guy was actually It didn't look good,

but he was technically better. Okay, he got the job done. If we're going with technical talent, then yeah, I guess the first guy has to go. But I mean, I'm a style guy. I love I love style.

Hey, listen. We have a lot more events to go through and you're going to see a lot more different types of talents and you're going to really be surprised by them. I

I hope so. I love being surprised. Now, this next event, it's not normally in the Olympics because they don't believe in arts, but we do here at the Sabrowski Olympics. Every day you're Olympians, you event here.

It gets better every time. It does. Event three, it's a vocal prowess. Vocal prowess. Okay.

Now, this is normally you don't do singing competitions at the Olympics. I think they should.

Yeah. Add the voice. I guess that's the rest of television. Yeah, most Yeah, most television is devoted to singing competitions most of the time.

Make it all one show. Make it all one LONG SHOW AND IT'LL NEVER END. JUST JUST ADD Just have it all going at the same time. Have three shows going at once.

Yeah. Okay. So, The Bachelor Olympic Edition. Yeah, why not? The Bachelor. Can he survive on the island that we're doing bobsledding on?

And they're all naked. Yep. Wow. Yes. And there's Mormons there. Yeah. And if you're watching three shows at once, you won't have to shave in the dark.

Hey, listen. I'M HOW DO YOU THINK I make I save time? Money. Time's money. I saw Henry shaving in his car the other day.

Hey, I got to do something while I'm while I'm driving. I hate being on the highway with nothing to do with my hands. I always got, you know, all us leg drivers. So, this first one, we'll see. We'll see what we think, won't we?

He's not bad. Is it him though? He's good. They put an effect on it. He's a little reverb.

Yeah. I mean, that reverb's hiding a lot but you know, I honestly felt in terms of sexy voice out of a crackhead,

right? Yeah. Yeah. Out of an un an unemployable man. Yeah. Cuz all of his songs are like that. He has like kind of like a sexy ' 90s R&B like thing about him. I like D'Angelo.

Songs are like that. Yeah, they're all like that. They're all highly sexy. I watched a lot of it.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah. I got to choose the best clips to send to Eric. Oh, really? HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW IF I HAVEN'T WATCHED dozens of them?

$32. That's pretty high. Yeah, I would I'd book a cameo for that. Although he's got 25 star reviews.

Well, she's sexy. All his stuff is about clapping ass. What's a business video?

You want to say? Yeah. What What is the difference between a personal video and a business video?

I think a business video is you can talk with them about the music industry. Oh, yeah. Or explain this chart to my staff

through song. This for you, Elissa. This is a cameo. This is for you specifically. It's just as good as my listen.

I be knowing things. Oh, obsessed with say it ain't so. So now he's really I know we're now kind of not helping him. It's not helping him.

Do you like Oh, he's No, it's good to know what the product is. No, it's good. He

But that's his cameos. That's his cameos. Yeah. No reverb on those cameos. That's just

everyone knows that was straight. Cameos are worse than you know an actual something. We all know

cameo. Cameo is where we will all eventually go. Eddie, I can't wait. Did someone deny your cameo? I have.

Oh, yeah. I tried to get Cervito because Matt Cervito was doing it. So, I kept I bought like three prank ones and I kept being like, "Tell Craig he's gay. Tell Craig like and I would give him all these information stuff and then he literally like stop do I know it's you."

The guy who played Satan on pretty face. Yes. He kept being like I kept and then it turns out I was the only ones he got. So, he folded the whole thing. OH, IS HE STILL ON?

OKAY, he's done 22. 75 bucks. Serve. Holy [ __ ] That's a lot. Wow. Oh, AND HE PUTS AGENT Harris as his main [ __ ] of course.

Yes. And Well, I mean, IT'S WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M SORRY. YEAH, IT'S IT'S LIKE THE GREATEST ROLE. THAT'S WHY WE KNOW WHO HE IS. NO ONE SAW THE SHOW. I'M SORRY NO ONE SAW THE SHOW, HENRY. I MEAN, I SAW IT and I LOVED IT.

IT'S A GREAT SHOW. THAT'S WHY NO ONE SAW IT. IT'S ON SLING. It's on Sling. Yeah. Velvet Operator says, "Henry, did you reach out to Didn't you reach out to Dan Levy for a cameo and he denied it?" No, I just messaged him.

Yeah. Yeah. No, he hasn't gotten back. I asked Marina Certis, the woman who played Troy, Diana Troy on Star Trek, uh to speak in a cocky accent and say a bunch of really filthy things um for Carolina's birthday.

Oh, yeah. She said no. She said no. She just denied it. Better than that? Yeah. She She apparently thought she was better than that.

Guess what? Actors aren't. Yeah. They're not better than that. Just refuses. That's why you got to have levels on the cameo. I'm willing to do this for this. I'm willing to do that for that.

Yeah. Let's [ __ ] do it right now. Let's Let's buy one. Oh, she c she quit. Unavailable.

She couldn't handle the [ __ ] heat. We should have actually We should have made her apologize to Marcus. I'm going to find her house.

I bet you she lives close, right? I bet she's neighbor. Yeah, she probably lives here, but yeah, she probably lives.

I would I would imagine she's a valley person. I always give up on the UK because it's soggy.

Feels. This next one's going to blow your mind. Vocal prowess. His account gives me chills.

It's incredible. He's not a castradi. He's got a full set. in his little bit of culture.

This is nice, isn't it? It's like NPR. It'd be great if he was at the Metropolitan Grand Stop. He'd be great for there.

Mhm. I mean, he does sound a little bit like Charles Foster Kane's wife and Citizen Kane.

A little bit. Probatic fave. Technically, you'd call this a falsetto. If if Anthony from Anthony and the Johnston's died, this guy's picking up.

He's a professional opera singer. So, he does this. Oh, okay. And he'll go to places. He goes to random places like he goes on the subway and he goes all these things and he just cuz he looks like that

and then that sound comes out of him and everyone's always like what the [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. They give him money. Yeah. Charlotte K. He's hitting them unic notes but he's still got the dick balls.

He's gay as all hell. I love those uh videos where it's like they set up like a really good singer and a and a piano player and they pretend like they accidentally just meet, you know, but it's always like there, you know, they obviously planned it. But it's still wonderful. And you cry every time.

Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, "Shut up." Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes. Just shut the [ __ ] up. Just shut living [ __ ] up.

But not this guy. I got a street guy in my neighborhood um that gets real drunk and sets up a speaker in front of the dumpling shop and uh just screams a whole bunch. He's really bad and yet also incredible.

It's part of life. I love it every time I see him. He always does he always does it on like weekends.

Oh yeah. Yeah. He He has a I never seen a man who has such a keen sense of irony and how to exploit the love of irony in others. I love that.

It's a it's a side gig. Yeah. Harbager of Goon says, "The guy is a great voice. However, I think throat accident guy could hit higher notes."

I wonder if he's like standing in front of something and they're just waiting for him to finish the

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I need you to move move right across. I got my Can I just

my backpack's right on. I mean, this guy's extremely that's obviously a very talented singer.

Yeah. Yes. Roach. He also does a very scarily accurate cat meow. Oh, I've seen. Yeah we

real Yeah, it is. That funny. Oh, so he's a New York City guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot what opera. It's I don't know if it's the Met, but he definitely does the opera.

Meow and opera sing. Wow. He puts me first. 26 million views on that. Yep. Wow.

Yeah, he's quite good at it. Let's give him a vote. Let's see right here. Vocal prowess. It's going down there.

All right. Oh, people want to hear our meows. We're not cat people. Like, that's the thing is I don't really know cats. Little noises.

What? One out of 10. Oh, okay. Henry. Oh, me first. Meow. Uh, he's cheating and his old.

That's what I hear from the cats outside. I know I've told a couple stories from my past today, but the my favorite is my friend, they got a flea collar for their kitten and it didn't like, you know, it it was like allergic to it and it didn't know it and its face like exploded

and then like and it lost the ability to meow, but it still wanted to. So occasionally it and had this huge head and occasionally just look at you and just be like

and it was like it was very you know it was healed you know and everything it was like it was very funny.

It's technically funny. Very cute. Play this voting intermission. You want to pop that voting intermission. Oh god. He does cameos.

Oh people money. Meow dude. Yeah. 55. The sad 25. the sad state of culture in this country

where you can't pay him to sing an absolutely beautiful Arya, but he will make me noises at you for $25.

Yeah. Down from 60. Oh, hand jobs. He doesn't sing. He'll roast you. Ooh. How's he going to roast me with meows?

God knows. Stick to singing. Stick to [ __ ] singing. Will your Thai girlfriend wife see you as an ATM? The truth. Absolutely she will. It's really no different to Australia. It's just more transparent here. My Thai wife doesn't have real earning capacity in rural Thailand. But I have a beautiful family life here with my Thai family and I provide financial security for them. If it stopped, sure, the love would eventually diminish. Would be the same in Australia though. If you are unemployed, sitting around all day, your wife, who in all likelihood may be earning more than you ever did, isn't going to cope. The big difference is my Thai wife never pisses and moans like Australian women. Hey, I'm just sharing my experience.

You know, he's got like four kids in Australia. Oh, yeah. I'm He's just sharing He's just sharing his experience.

Yeah. He's like OJ Simpson. He's just saying I'm my favorite is you know will my will your tie wife or girlfriend view you as an ATM? Yes.

Absolutely. I'll give her so much money. Gold. Obviously unexpected falsetto. If it didn't I was going to be angry. Yeah. Silver takes it. Vocalist takes it.

Just really good. Of course. Yeah. You you just named him vocalist. It's just vocalist.

Yes. Just vocal. I don't know his name. Sexy thin-faced man, I guess. And now comes the most varied AND IMPORTANT PART OF THE everyman Olympics. The number one the number one sport in our sport. THE THE HOTTEST CONTEST TODAY. Everybody's trying to get in front of each other to get to see there to be the front Oh, it's ob it's event for object manipulation.

Object manipulation. Okay. Now, you would be bend. Is this like me with the void? That kind of object manipulation.

You see the void. I think it manipulates you in many ways. You're you are actually just an extension of void.

Wow. That is so weird looking. But these guys, they do something a little different, which is Yeah. What they do, it might look like a waste of time. M

it might look silly, but these men tried. We will show you these champions. All right. So, he's got this thing right now. This guy does this thing where he has a pole and a basketball and he likes to kind of does this kind of toss around with the pole and the basketball and he puts in a hoop. Okay. And I [ __ ] hang out and DJ for this guy and just roll blunts.

I would just smoke blunts, watch him do this all [ __ ] day. I got time. This is awesome.

I missed this in my Oh, this was such a good No shirt. He's got his Under Armour shoes on, his pole and his ball. He does not need anything else. That guy lives existence and I love it.

Zist, it's tulle, right? Tool. Of course. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah. I'm going to just say that all of these guys are soundtrack to Tool.

Yes. Okay, cool. There's something about these guys. They all want to be sexy. I think I think this is sexy to them, which I get it. It is.

I don't even know. Ladies, I don't know if he thinks about sex. Yeah. How would he have time?

Now he's Oh, now he's inside the geodome. He's in the geodome that he built. So, he built that geodome in order to experiment with his stick and ball game. This guy don't think about sex.

No, dude. Why would he? Why would he? He built an entire [ __ ] temple to his skills,

man. What do you do all day? I bet he didn't pay for one article there, too. Like, none of all that wood he found somewhere. Someone was throwing it out.

Yeah, that guy doesn't have [ __ ] money. No. Yeah. Yeah. No, he don't need it. Get in his way.

He has a stick and a ball. Yeah. And his geodistic dome. Yeah. He needs nothing else.

You think he sits in his geodistic dome and has imaginary conversations with Maynard?

Oh, yeah. just being like, "Yeah, I wish I could teach you, man." But you're on tour all the time.

I wish I could teach you. He just sits in the middle of that room and he's like,

"But got it made, man." Professor Psycho, he Professor Psycho says this guy's goes to Burning Man every year. I'm pretty certain he just goes to the Playa.

Yeah. And it's not It's when it's not there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes to March Burning Man.

This next guy, Be careful, ladies. I I want to say if you're sitting there watching with your significant other and [ __ ] turn her away.

Mhm. Turn her [ __ ] away. Don't let her see this. Going to be too uh sexually engorged.

Sexually engorged. Yeah. Or at least get something to put down on the couch. Yeah. Get some rubber

some big rubber sheets. Big rubber sheets. Like if you were in a mental asylum tarps.

You ever done that? Do you have a family that had rubber sheets? Wrapped up my wife uh in rubber sheets because she was too horny. I have not. I'm asking about rubber sheets. Do you know anybody? Did your family have rubber sheets? No.

No. No. Rubber sheets were always a punchline. I never knew anyone who actually had rubber sheets.

I wonder if Yeah. Did anybody ever have them? I had a water bed. Yeah, I had a water bed, too.

Really? Yeah. It was given to me from a family friend. It was weird. It was nice. I liked it.

Something about this too intimate. What? That you know my past beds? No. That the guy that you're like uncle or something was like here, enjoy the water bed.

Water. Yeah. He [ __ ] some [ __ ] watch the waves. Horrible. Catched a big kahuna.

He wasn't having sex. No. No. He was a a strange man. He's he's dead now. Um let's just say um

Nah, we don't need to know much about Yeah, we don't need to know everything. Nah,

we don't need to know. He was the man who introduced me to Mel Brooks. I was going to say

I'll say that. I'm like I'm picturing him in like Cocoa World like fading and not fading. Um, so this next guy, okay, this next guy,

he's a man in his 40s. I was a groomsman in his wedding at 11. Um, oh wow. I was an 11year-old and was like his best friend and he gave me water back.

Ed Gene. This is why when during the Edge Gene episodes why I would defend men like Ed Gene like sometimes like, yeah, your dad gets really nervous years later when he realizes that he may have handed you over to a possible molester. Uh, but then all you have to say is, "Dad, I don't remember anything bad happening." And then just certain that nothing bad happened. I'm just gonna say, "I don't remember anything bad happening." Jesse says, "On rubber sheets, I [ __ ] on plastic sheets tarps once because a guy had a messy food kink."

Oh, yeah. Okay. Weird. Keep it all separate. Yeah. Do it in the tub. This next guy, he doesn't need a food kink to [ __ ] get your lady going. All he needs is his little digits.

Oh. Uhoh. Damn, you learned your thing, dude. You got it. [ __ ] yeah, dude. I DON'T NEED SCHOOL. I DON'T NEED A JOB.

I DON'T KNOW HOW he was giving me eye contact, but I, you know, he's I'm not there.

No, but he was looking directly into all of our eyes. Yeah, I felt it. It was uncomfortable.

Like it was a painting at the Haunted Mansion. Yes. I bet he makes people really uncomfortable.

Oh yeah. Because you know he just does that like at a bar like it's like but like but it's not it's not an appropriate place like it's like a draft house or something you know.

Yeah. Yeah. And everyone's like hey yeah it's like a barcade. All the lights are on.

It's a giant like one of those things like a giant Jenga set. You're like all right come on. Just leave me alone.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Get out of here. This next guy. Now this is where the abilities start to get truly arcane.

Okay. Okay. This is I don't know. Oh, the guy with the ball and the stick. That was an arcane.

Technically, that at least involved some semblance of a ball going in a hoop. Okay.

Right. And whatever that is, that's at least connected to a modern equivalent of a sport.

We could turn that into a game. If we had to. If we had to. It's a sphere into a circle.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I get it. I get it. This guy, he looked through the looking glass. He looked past the matrix. He saw he sees us as ones and zeros and he thought of something and he's like, "This is what I do and this is what I get good at. I love this shit." So, what he does is he spins scissors around like this, right? He does this a lot

and then he um he throws little pill capsules up and catches him with scissors.

Wow. This is this is a man who worked as a security guard for many many years at his desk and this is the skill that he came up with cuz the only things he had to entertain himself.

I better not [ __ ] see you on your phone. All right, listen. All right. I don't want you on.

All right. The only thing you can have is this pair of scissors and this box of Altoids. See him? See him trying to have fun with that. see him try TO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT.

And he did it. I'll [ __ ] play with anything. That dude has hundreds of videos of him spinning the scissors around, catching the scissors in various ways, and catching a pill bottle. And he goes by scissor dude.

Different kinds of scissors or the same pair? Same pair. I don't think he's Let's just say I don't know if his Oh, no. This is his stick with keys on a string. That's right. I forgot about these. Oh, this is him with the boot trick and he's got the scissors on a string and he's kicking him back and forth. Yeah.

Dude, he's like a professional like throw your keys at you type of guy. I don't know. He's I don't think he's expecting you to catch him.

No, but he would look at this. Look what he's going to do. See, it's a candle lit. It's a [ __ ] candle lit. Like he's [ __ ] Oh, man.

He's Kang. Oh my [ __ ] god, dude. be so [ __ ] TOY. THAT'S [ __ ] TOY. WELL, NO, HE HIT THE CANDLE.

OH, what a [ __ ] No, if you hit the candle, it doesn't count. Still pretty good.

Okay, that is pretty good. Evans Kate asks, "Do you think he tells his GP that he does in fact work out five days a week?"

I probably work out 10 days a week. Yeah. Yeah. If you If you really kind of put all my workouts together, it's like I never stop. I mean, that's pretty impressive. You know what's crazy about this is like I can't help but think about the one kid with the lightsaber who like did the lightsaber thing in the garage and his life got ruined

and like now we would all just love him. Oh yeah. No, he's very HE WAS AHEAD OF EVERYBODY.

He was the FIRST ONE. HE GOT IT before any of us. Random Phantom, you're correct. If he had transferred this to a butterfly knife, it might be impressive. Like it might. But there is him catching the pills with the scissors. I thought that I was like, "No one. Who's going to do something else like that?" And when I first saw that, it was like, "Oh, when I saw this, I was like, nobody's going to top this."

There's nothing that is going to be more arcane than this. Okay. Right. More highly unique.

Yeah. Like this guy, if if Scissor Dude saw it through the Matrix, this guy is Hugo Weaving. He is the Matrix. He figured out something that nobody ever thought to do once and he mastered it many times.

Truly original man. The most original person we've ever met. And you know, I will say that sometimes you do get hurt for being original.

And I know that. I know that from experience. Yeah. Too unique, too special. And that's what this guy is.

Think Henry eats fat. So he tosses up an Xbox controller and he flips it and he catches it on a soda can.

Is he at a halfway house? No, he's not in anyh home. This is like always an Xbox controller and a

and a Red Bull can. I mean, he does it. He does it. There's no This is what I was saying. He don't do it.

He does it. Yeah. Now God, this makes me angry. Why? I I don't know. Where is he? You think? Is that the mall?

Why? Cuz of how happy he is with himself. I I think it's the I think it is the self-satisfaction. It It really is.

He probably That probably took him like 4 hours and he drenched and ruined that part of the mall

for a day. There's a god. Jesus. Xbox controller soda can guy's back. You know what it is?

Did you give him a quarter for the machine? YEAH, I HAD. NO, YOU GAVE A QUARTER FOR THE MACHINE.

I HAD TO. DUDE, LOOK. You know what it is? It's the It's the pride that he feels and the expectation of praise

of EVERYBODY ELSE GOING, "WOW, WHOA." HE SHOULD OPEN it at the end to show that the soda can didn't fizz.

That would make it really impressive. Yeah. I don't know if he's got that kind of movement. Oh, he'll do the one of him in the hotel room. Oh,

cuz look, he got inside. I wonder what happened there. Someone left. Wonder if he

escaped. Oh, whoa. Look at this. Is he going to do it? Oh, he is. Is he going to do it? Is he going to [ __ ] do it again? Yes, he is.

Yes, he absolutely [ __ ] is. He flipped it and he caught it with the Red Bull CAN IN THE EXTENDED STAY. THAT'S [ __ ] HUGE.

THERE'S A QUESTION, THOUGH. Who's filming? It's got to be the wife. You think? Yeah. Okay. All right.

Not the buddy cuz I'm guessing it's got to be the Oh, yeah. Definitely. That guy's got a girlfriend. Absolutely.

This is weird. This takes off. Absolutely not. Whoever's doing that thinks this is filmable. Like, whoever's filming it is egging him on. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, no. No. They They're seeing a future. Yo, dude. They're like, "Dude, do Tony, that last one you did, seriously, dude. The last one you did in the hotel room, that [ __ ] was [ __ ] dope. Nobody else can do this but you.

Million 3.5 million views. Oh, okay. Well, I'm wrong. He's doing great. I don't know.

So, he's just [ __ ] around in a drainage ditch. Scott B says, "My guy has to be 13 mentally." Yeah,

I'm pretty certain he's 13 legally. That's why I think that Yeah. Whoever is filming like definitely refers to himself as this guy's manager.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's his who's that's who's filming. Yeah, it's his manager. The guy who picks up the ringorm.

Haron also says, "Yeah, absolutely." He said, "Last time I pick it up, I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE PLAYING THOSE PLAYGROUND SANDBOX."

I'M NOT PLAYING. THIS IS my sport. This is the same as the Greeks who invented running and the Romans who invented gay sex. This is my sport.

Gay sex. Yeah. Hybrid of Goon. Yeah. Says, "I'm always afraid of running into this type of dude in my hometown Walmart because I know he's going to show me every video he's ever made on his phone."

That's what he has. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. You don't know who I am. Oh, you don't know? Oh, well, I'm Xbox Flip Cany.

I also like Someone says, "Do you think that he owns the console?" I don't think he owns the can. Now, give me my Red Bull back. Do you think it's the manager says at the end, "Give me my [ __ ] Red Bull back. I got to go to work." All right. So, let's uh while we're waiting for the vote, because it's right out there, object manipulation, truly the most special category, we have sphere wizard,

card wizard, scissors wizard, and is this impressive? And while we're doing that, we're going to play this one last little video. Now, we here at Last Podcast on the left, Last Podcast Network, we're distinctly against AI created art. We don't like it,

hate it. Uh, none of us like it. But against it, but something happened. Are you about to play Tiny Cowboy?

I mean, I play three AI videos every time I do the [ __ ] show, so it doesn't even matter.

Yeah, I'm about to play it. You're about You're about to play Well, excuse me. It's It's Gigantic Cowboy.

It's Gigantic Cowboy. This is something that you and I we've been sharing it in private

and we agreed. Eric, we agreed that we would not show anybody. I certainly have no idea what the [ __ ] you're talking about. Eric

gave me the the the vote, the tiebreak vote, because he's saying, which I believe and I agree with, is that most AI slop and most AI is trying to make you believe it's real. Yeah.

Right. This is telling us a story that's hard to do. This is a window into a soul.

It Okay, it it is. But I'm saying I'm openly saying it's AI. I don't like that it's AI, but I I don't know how else to not show you guys this.

I mean, I'm I'm just saying that I thought I thought this was like hours. Yeah,

you know, just like me and you. Well, no, actually was funny is that I had just sent this to Eric separate

as um I'm sorry. Oh, but I had drunkenly just sent this to We can't play this because it's AI, but wow. And I said,

"Wow, they're all saying [ __ ] AI." Maybe we should point. Yeah. Well, maybe we should keep it private.

I mean, I don't want to see it. Maybe we should just keep it private. Maybe we should just keep gigantic cowboy between you and me and

put it to a boat. The butthole. I do have to go the butole. Yeah, he has. So, he's trying to leave early. Why don't you play it and I'll leave?

We can play for the after credit sequence. We could do that. We You could just go right now and we can

after the credit sequence. It's legally not us doing the show anymore. That is true.

We've never done We've never really said anything about the after show sequence.

Yeah, that is true. So, it's AI only because it's the worst thing I've ever seen.

Yeah. Should we let people vote whether they want to see? They already said they're saying [ __ ] AI. They're saying no.

I can't run two balls at once. I can't run two balls. You can't do that. But they're already saying they're the crowd is speaking. The ch the crowd is chanting [ __ ] AI in the

I'll see you later, Eddie. Yeah, you have a good You have a good See you in San Francisco. If you're around, come see me tomorrow.

Have a good flight. They don't know this is going to I'm telling you. I mean, it's the only one I like.

It's like Dobby. I do. I mean, it's it is the same world as that. Yeah. I mean, and Dobby, everyone loves Everyone loves Dobby. That was pregnant Dobby was specifically AI.

Pregnant Dobby was 100% AI in every way. And everyone I [ __ ] hate it, too. But that you're being a zealot if you see this and think that there's not something here.

This is something special. I will I will agree with Eric on that. We can't be zealots. We can't be absolutists. When it does create something that specials a window into a soul, it makes you feel something. Then it has done something

something that I've never seen before. I've never seen it either. Let's just do it.

Go ahead. I I'm not sure, man. I will be careful, buddy. I promise it will only hurt a little.

Damn, you're so I mean, it's so big. I know, buddy. But I really want I mean, I love you, little man, so much. I love you, too, man. It's a gigantic cowboy.

Gigantic cowboy. It's a It's a It's a window into a desire, into a soul, into a life.

They are all each the most vile thing I've ever seen. Each one is the most vile, weird. Morgan Leay says, "Yeah, it is stupid."

I It's very stupid. And if it's What did you think we were going to show you? Yeah. And I think if it's I and I also think that if it is specifically fetish content,

it's shallow. Then it's allowed. Yeah. If it's fetish content, it's allowed. It's fetish content. That's That's all bets are off.

This is too good. Look at all the tidy people washing his boots. They're washing his boots.

I don't like it. I don't want it. I FEEL LIKE WE could film this. I feel like we could film this. And I do feel like maybe that's a part of what we should do

is film it. Okay. We can get some gigantic cowboy boots, put them out there, get them real dirty, cover them. All kinds of muck.

All kinds of muck. You know, you get it's on an open cattle call to 30 40 actors. We We have about 30 40 actors. Get a whole bunch of wardrobe.

Look at split. Uh and now they're all saying it wasn't worth it. They're all just They're all now they're anti which I understand. This is just for us.

It's fine. That is for us. It is for us. Henry, do you want to be the big cowboy or the little Car cowboy stenrad ass? And obviously the big cowboy

little gonna be taken care of differences between and it just seems like the little cowboy is, you know, he's going to have a a much nicer time, you know, like he's he's trusting and he's he's going to have an experience.

I make decisive decisions, right? I go out there, I know what I want and I and I and I say it. Say what I want.

It's not going to become God, right? Like it's not going to save the economy. That's the farthest it's going to go.

Yes. Like that's it's it can't go any further than that. It's as far as it can go.

Really? It can't go any farther than that. Lock me says the only ethical use of AI is creating fake dog influencers for Henry to focus his attentions on so the real ones can live. Unfortunately, no, cuz I like to watch the process. So, WE HAVE A BIG TIE. WOW. A tie. Scissor wizard and sphere wizard. They take it for gold. Guard wizard takes it for silver and bronze. Wow. This is impressive as he did not get his He did not get his laurels.

No. That he thought he was going to do. He He did not. Whoa. Sizz Wizard just went up by 1%.

What? And he gets nothing. Yeah. Well, I'm I'm not clapping for that. He gets nothing.

I think ball sphere hexagon toolman should have taken it because it's the most I feel like that one of them of all of them was the most skillike skill.

It was the skillish skill. Coach. Yeah. Eddie really left. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's he's gone. He went to the

He left. Yeah. Dude, he has to go to San Francisco. Look at him. He's going to have such fun in that big truck.

I just And you know, in the big cowboy, he's just in a regular truck. But the little cowboy, he's having such a day.

And then, you know what I like about it, too, is that they they talk about all the dirtiness, but they don't show it.

No, they really don't. Cuz if you'll notice, even when the little cowboy was laying on the big cowboy's crotch, big cowboy wasn't hard.

I can't show it on Instagram. Do you think it's on a different platform? You could show it. Yeah,

you could show it under the pants. I think you could show the outline of it. Does Giant Cowboy have an AI? Does Are there There's AI only fans. I know that.

Are there? Yeah. Yeah. It's all fake. Everything's fake. No one's real. Well, what an incredible Everyman Olympics it's been.

It really is. And I'm going to do it again next time I find more of these guys because these guys, let's just say there's a really high turnaround

in one sentence. Uh why do you think it's only men? Oh, because women actually seek the fulfillment of relationships, uh, acts of service, uh, hobbies, and do things like engage, um, probably in a more community way

with society. Yes. Yeah. Men, um, uh, when they feel maybe if they're because I feel like Scissor Wizard is afraid of his abilities.

There's a lot of inward. I think Scissor Wizard knows He's a wizard, right? Like he knows that somebody He's waiting for that owl.

Yeah, it's coming. No. No, it's not. No, it's not. You know who is coming? Giant cowboy all over the little cowboy. Slather him in [ __ ] ejaculate. I hope that my anus is the right size for your penis, big cowboy.

I'm sure it will be, little guy. I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to all of it. Just as long as you're gentle.

Samesies, little guy. What a good weekend this turned out to be. Crisscross applesauce. I'm going to come in your guts.

Oh. This is

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026"?

Eric (Guest), Henry (Guest), Chad (Guest), Patito Muerto (Guest).

What is "EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026" about?

A chaotic, offbeat discussion centers on the Winter Olympics and the surreal, absurd banter among hosts, blending sports atmosphere with intentionally edgy humor and stream-of-consciousness storytelling. The dialogue highlights the performers’ commentary, crude humor, and scattered anecdotes as they navigate the final broadcast tone.

What is mentioned in this Last Podcast On The Left episode?

25 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Gigantic Cowboy, AI created art, Artificial Intelligence, Scissor Dude, Last Podcast Network, Winter Olympics. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "EVERYDAY OLYMPIANS /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 17th, 2026"?

The episode runs 1 h 3 min; the transcript is about 11,846 words in 391 timestamped sections.

More from Last Podcast On The Left

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated October 29, 2026.