Transcript

STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026

From Last Podcast On The Left · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 10 min · 13,470 words · 484 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026", an episode of Last Podcast On The Left published February 27, 2026 (1 h 10 min, about 13,470 words). It mentions 28 people, works and ideas, including Michael Jackson, Axel Henry, Mecca Jackson, Dan Levy, Janis Ian.

What this episode is about

A chaotic, humor-driven discussion blends pop culture references, streaming banter, and ongoing project updates, punctuated by running jokes and rapid shifts in topic. It touches on upcoming releases, staff culture, and recurring segments like “Boys of the Month” while weaving in derisive humor and in-jokes.

Key takeaways

  • Content cadence matters: the audio of workplace banter can outshine a script—until it doesn’t, then it’s chaos you pay for.
  • Energy and timing dominate culture: 5:00 pm ‘mandates’ become mood, not policy—humor sold as productivity.
  • Self-awareness is marketable: acknowledging mistakes or fatigue can turn a flounder into a relatable pivot.
  • Punchy summaries beat verbose emails: decisive lines cut through noise, revealing strategic clarity amid chaos.
  • Surprise context reframes value: even risqué humor can seed genuine teamwork, when boundaries are navigated thoughtfully.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Michael Jackson, Axel Henry, Mecca Jackson, Janis Ian
  2. – 20:00: Bolter Kelsey, France, Mecca Jackson, Hubert Laws
  3. – 30:00: Dan Levy, France, Michael Jackson, Axel Henry
  4. – 40:00: Dan Levy, Axel Henry, Janis Ian, Westminster Dog Show
  5. – 50:00: Sophia Rob, Russia, Moscow
  6. – 1:00:00: Quinton, Brothers Karamazov, Claudia Banks, Russia
  7. – 1:10:00: Quinton, Michael Jackson

Notable quotes from "STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026"

  • Right. Ian, did we start early so everyone could witness the speech by dear leader? Absolutely not. We did it for us.
    about Janis Ian · at
  • Or they could all form one gigantic Michael Jackson that could all become one being like maybe a 60 foot tall.
    about Michael Jackson · at
  • We have to save this. We have to save this because that I wouldn't Mecca Jackson might be on the March Madness or something.
    about Mecca Jackson · at
  • Oh, this rocks. Oh, Kelsey's cheating.
    about Bolter Kelsey · at
  • Whenever I see a dash cam, I just assume it's Russia.
    about Russia · at
  • Rob took it down with who will win.
    about Sophia Rob · at
  • The thought brackets. Don't ever feel bad for DMing Henry. Yeah, I barely see it. Coach Henry, have you considered finding out where Dan Levy lives and driving by his house?…
    about Axel Henry · at
  • Women through three challenges and they got masks covering their faces inspired by the crazy 88 to kill Bill. So, Quinton can only judge them by their feet, not by their faces. All right. So, should we send the girls out?
    about Quinton · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Michael Jackson — Person · Referenced figure / comedic scenario subject · 8 mentions · first at
    Used in a recurring hypothetical ('1 million Michael Jacksons vs 25,000 soldiers') and as the basis for the 'Mecca Jackson' mashup idea.
  • Axel Henry — Person · On-mic co-host / panelist · 3 mentions · first at
    A primary speaker driving bits (mandatory fun, flamethrower fantasy, Dan Levy DM story) and reacting to staff videos.
  • Dan Levy — Person · Referenced celebrity · 5 mentions · first at
    A long comedic segment centers on drunkenly DMing Dan Levy and speculating about his wardrobe in 'Best in Show.'
    The thought brackets. Don't ever feel bad for DMing Henry. Yeah, I barely see it. Coach Henry, have you considered finding out where Dan Levy lives and driving by his house?…
  • Janis Ian — Person · On-mic co-host / panelist; staff video submitter · 3 mentions · first at
    Participates in commentary and is repeatedly referenced as submitting a video and being a 'double champion.'
  • Sophia Rob — Person · On-mic co-host / panelist; staff video submitter; prior winner · 3 mentions · first at
    Wins a heat with the Michael Jackson vs soldiers clip and is referenced as a previous 'boy of the month' winner.
  • Quinton — Person · Referenced subject in clip (first name only) · 4 mentions · first at
    A foot-fetish judging segment is discussed, but the transcript only uses the single name 'Quinton' (no full name).
  • Bolter Kelsey — Person · On-mic co-host / panelist; staff video submitter · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced as 'cheating' and as the person who could sign them up for a flamethrower/tank experience.
  • Hubert Laws — Person · Referenced musician recommendation · 2 mentions · first at
    Brought up as a flute artist; the album 'Flute By-Laws' is recommended/mentioned.
    Coming to check. Heard a great flute album that you guys would love. This guy is this guy's name is Hubert Law.
  • Claudia Banks — Person · Referenced TV host/celebrity · 2 mentions · first at
    Referenced during discussion of an America's Next Top Model segment and a documentary where she 'blamed the audience.'
    I know you're also a fan of Top Model.
  • Zoe Nelson — Person · Referenced participant (scoring mention) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as receiving a point in the episode's running scoring/judgment bit.
    Amber Nelson will be receiving one point because of her mention of buttholes.
  • Gary Glitter — Person · Referenced musician (as part of 'Mecca Jackson' gag) · 1 mention · first at
    Included as a body-part component in a crude 'pedophilic musicians' megazord-style joke.
  • R. Kelly — Person · Referenced musician (as part of 'Mecca Jackson' gag) · 1 mention · first at
    Used as another component in the 'Mecca Jackson' composite character joke.
    The other leg is R. Kelly. Kelly's the penis.
  • Jerry Lee Lewis — Person · Referenced musician (as part of 'Mecca Jackson' gag) · 1 mention · first at
    Named in the same composite-character bit; also briefly confused with Jerry Lewis.
    I forgot the Lee. I was like Jerry Lewis. I know he sucked, but I didn't think he was banging kids. We'll revisit this for March Madness.
  • Herbie Hancock — Person · Referenced musician · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in connection with the album title 'Mr. Hands' during a tangent about 'Mr. Hands.'
    Is that what they call Herby Hancock?
  • Andrew Kinsey — Person · Referenced audience member / chatter · 1 mention · first at
    Named in a quick aside acknowledging someone 'figured it out' about after-hours streaming.
    Dr. Kinsey, yes, you've just figured it out. Oh, they're doing the after hours after the regular stream, but the regular stream is an hour early. Yes, you're the you get the prize of being.

Books & papers

  • Brothers Karamazov — Book · Referenced literature · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a Russian novel someone has read twice and another has been 'staring at' without reading.
    I've been I have a copy of Brothers Karamazov that I've been staring at for like that and the Odyssey that I got to read.
  • The Odyssey — Book · Referenced reading goal · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned alongside 'Brothers Karamazov' as a book someone has been meaning to read.
    I've been I have a copy of Brothers Karamazov that I've been staring at for like that and the Odyssey that I got to read.

Companies & orgs

  • Northwestern — Organization · Referenced research institution · 1 mention · first at
    Appears in a clip describing experiments about stereotypes and perception in a lab at Northwestern.
    It's physiological. Bailey and his colleagues have set up a series of experiments in his lab at Northwestern.

Concepts & topics

  • Mecca Jackson — Concept · Core comedic concept · 3 mentions · first at
    A coined idea for a giant combined Michael Jackson entity; later expanded into a mashup with other disgraced musicians.
  • Mothra Man — Concept · Comedic IP/branding concept · 1 mention · first at
    Proposed as a 'progressive' twist on Mothman/Mothra, framed around ownership/IP rights.
    Mothra Man because now like the state of West Virginia as we know knows owns Moth Man, but they don't own Mothra Man.
  • Civ 6 — Concept · Comedic credential reference · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a joke about having a 'doctorate in history' from the strategy game Civilization VI.
    Oh, yeah. Professor Psycho says, Listen to Henry. He's got a doctorate in history from Civ 6. Yes.

Places & events

  • Russia — Place · Referenced location / cultural frame · 4 mentions · first at
    Appears in war-comparison jokes and later as a desired travel destination tied to Russian animation and literature.
  • France — Place · Referenced location (dashcam/police chase; cultural commentary) · 5 mentions · first at
    A police chase clip is identified as France; later used for extended jokes/criticism about French culture and Paris.
    France just does things a little bit more intense. How did they not make side stories today? Oh, we got a lot of stuff today. We had to talk about the thing with the boneless wings.
  • Westminster Dog Show — Event · Referenced event (planned coverage target) · 1 mention · first at
    They discuss a dance component added to the show and propose future network coverage/commentary.
    They have added Those dogs are just running in circles.
  • Moscow — Place · Referenced travel destination · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as an interesting city in the context of wanting to visit Russia.
    Moscow is supposed to be very, very interesting.
  • Chicago — Place · Referenced location (context for Northwestern) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in a narrated clip about Northwestern research ('The Chicago winters are harsh').

Media & podcasts

  • Five Nights of [__] Boys — Media · Referenced media (source of idea) · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as the game where the 'Mecca Jackson' idea already exists, undercutting originality claims.
    Oh, there's a game. Oh, it's from a video game called Five Nights of [ __ ] Boys.
  • Ted Lasso — Media · Referenced feel-good show · 1 mention · first at
    Used as shorthand for wanting uplifting content.
    I want a show that's like Ted Lasso.

Full transcript with timestamps

Welcome to future. How can I be of service? Yeah. Yeah. Do you play NBA 2K? Yes.

They're going to put their beats in places you've never even HEARD OF. NOBODY LIKES YOU.

WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY AM I HERE, [ __ ] OH, saw it. I want a show that's like Ted Lasso. That makes me feel good. Amber Nelson will be receiving one point because of her mention of buttholes.

All right. Which I do enjoy. Judgment hereby rendered. There's no place to escape to.

This is the last street on the left but that's when the cannibalism started. Wow. We're back. That's right, man. HGX2 coming at you [ __ ] man. We're giving it and you're taking it and you like it. Kind of.

You're going to be okay with it? Yeah, you're going to be okay with it. And it's coming out.

Soon. Soon. Soonish. Nobody will tell me when. No. I don't even know when. Yes, it's coming out hopefully while the references still make sense.

Yes, we have. We're currently editing it. It's almost done. That'd be great. That'd be really great.

But look at this. 5:00 pm. Huh? Daff mandate at 5:00 p.m. Oh, wow. How much energy do we have?

How much energy do we have? Yeah, baby. Look at this. This is happy hour. Happy hour staff mandate.

Right. Ian, did we start early so everyone could witness the speech by dear leader? Absolutely not. We did it for us.

Yes. Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. We Yeah. Honk staff [ __ ] mandate. Let's look at our previous winners. Let's look at our boys OF THE MONTH. LOOK AT THE WINNER.

LOOK AT THAT BOYS OF THE MONTH. Rob won. Yeah, Rob did a good job. Rob took it away.

Last month was January. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, it's February now. Well, we had April

months later. December and November. December. Man, I'm tired. When was November?

Four months ago. When was November? Look at our previous winners. each one of them more thankful than the last. And yes, we might have some team members that DID NOT SUBMIT A VIDEO.

THAT'S WHAT WE'LL TALK ABOUT. SO, PEOPLE A SUBMIT VIDEOS TODAY, BUT THE reason why they didn't I'm going to say it's because of the truncated month.

Oh, cuz it was short it was shorter month. It's a shorter month. However, uh it is still exactly four weeks since the last time we did this. Therefore, the month not apply

time. It's the same. Ah, I'm not feeling well. M it is look smell well either. I am covered with stuff. I can't smell because my nose is stuffed.

You're right. So you can't So you don't smell well on two different ways. Yeah.

What was I saying? There was so many. He doesn't smell well and he doesn't smell good.

Thank you both. Thank you English teacher man. You're welcome. It was my major.

So we will probably have to put it in their work contracts to make it mandatory. Yes.

Unfortunately, this is mandatory fun. What the [ __ ] are we doing? Guys, this is not a job.

We got two toilets in this place. You telling me YOU AIN'T WATCHING [ __ ] VIDEOS?

I KNOW YOU'RE watching videos. I hear you snickering. Mhm. I hear you snickering.

I hear a lot of giggling coming from those bathrooms. I hear it. Okay. So, maybe we need to start thinking about this as a workplace,

not just a fun place. I do go in there and laugh at my balls, though. So, And they laugh back. That's great.

Dr. Kinsey, yes, you've just figured it out. Oh, they're doing the after hours after the regular stream, but the regular stream is an hour early. Yes,

you're the you get the prize of being able to watch after hours after this. Are we supposed to talk to these people about always doing it at 5:00 or no?

We did put a loose thing out there. We like it at 5:00 because look at how less hungry we are.

Honestly, we can eat normally now. Yeah. Look at how less hungry we are. Still very hungry. I I skipped I I had snacks.

Oh, yeah. We're going to open a poll at the end of the episode. I had four eggs.

Open a poll. Henry's going to bend over and spread his [ __ ] That's opening the pole, baby.

I had four eggs an hour ago. Scrambled, fried, boiled. Hardboiled. Hard boiled. You ate four hardboiled eggs an hour ago. He ate three of them and he sucked on the last one.

Yay. Henry, WHY DON'T YOU GO SUCK ON SOME EGGS? Uh well, uh good for that. You couldn't say that cuz I already am.

Shall we get to the first heat of videos? I chomp them. How many How many count How many times are we doing this this week? Three or four?

Four. Four. 1 million. Michael Jackson versus month's champion. Okay. 25,000 modern soldiers.

All right. Okay. I mean, you imagine they would win the soldiers. No. Well, they have guns.

Well, it's about numbers, but they have guns. It doesn't have ever make me not laugh.

It's a lot. They can overwhelm them. All the noises. THIS IS LISTEN, he's they're going to blow through a bunch of waves of them. But

yeah, many many will die, but this is this is the best one of these I've seen. You're literally looking at ground war in Russia.

This is what they do. This is literally what the Russians specialize in. You're seeing it right now.

They're coming from the sides. Wow. They're flanking them. Oh, now we're into sort of an Alexander the Great style pincher movement.

Yeah, but see it's going to be hard to get over the bodies. Yeah, that is. Wow. No, they are already No, they're using the bodies to their advantage. They're using the bodies to get height on the soldiers to killed.

I think the soldiers have killed more soldiers than the Michael Jackson. WE'RE STILL NOT THERE YET. We're not at the end of the Michaels.

Yeah, not even close. Ow. This is wonderful. I wish all war was this. Oh, they are surrounded. Now they're swarming. See?

Yeah. Attrition money. It's the swarm. I don't believe. And that result right there.

That result. You think William would take out 25 grand? Yeah, I would. It was THIS EXACT THIS PLAYED out exactly how I expected to.

7,453. Yeah. So, two So, they took down 277,000 Michaels. Or is that how many were left?

That's how many were left. That's how many were left. So, they took out 750,000 Michaels.

Still one. Still one. And Stalin tactics. Yeah. Yeah. You keep throwing bodies.

Oh, yeah. Professor Psycho says, "Listen to Henry. He's got a doctorate in history from Civ 6." Yes.

Right. I know all about it. You wouldn't believe what I make. Jenus condu. What is that? Jangus condu baby he rapes.

Yes. Yes. We know what he did. OH. OH. WHERE Jenus Con? next video. Slacking off says this. How do you convince the first Michael to run out knowing he'll never make it? I I think you do. It's that you have to kind of systematically break them down.

Yeah. At a year in Michael Jackson boot camp where it's a lot of Shimmer shimmer until the point where they don't care if they live or die.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that could work. Also, what if you told that Michael Jackson that Michael Jackson, you're part of, you're 1 millionth of this giant Michael Jackson.

If you beat this army, you might clear him of this history of charges. I don't know about that.

That's interesting. If you kill every army in the world and then Michael Jackson impersonators take over the UN, those crimes are gone.

You got to It's going to be a lot of eraser. We all remember it's a lot of Michael Jackson's we just saw.

Yeah, it is a lot that we did see there. Or they could all form one gigantic Michael Jackson that could all become one being like maybe a 60 foot tall.

OH MAN, HE'S GOING SHAMON. A MOONWALKER. HE'S GOING SHAMON. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. Mecca Jackson. Thank you.

Becca Jackson. Yeah. Mecca Jackson. Mecca Jackson's a great Write that down. Write Mecca Jackson down.

We need to do something with Mecca Jackson. We got to do something before they before anybody else

Before anybody else does something with Mecca Jackson. We have to do something with him.

We'll cut this for YouTube. Yeah. I bought the rights from uh Dr. Conrad Murray.

He already did it. Michael Jackson did it. Michael Jackson did it. Yeah. H I did it.

Yeah, I know that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's that big robot. Yeah, he does have a big robot. Mhm. And Moon Walker.

Well, yeah. Didn't he have a Gundam Gundam Jackson or something? Or was that one of his kids?

No, no, no, no, no. His children are Paper and Mâche. Oh, yeah. We have to save this. We have to save this because that I wouldn't Mecca Jackson might be on the March Madness or something. Only if it's Mecca Jackson that is like teamed by a bunch of other pedophilic musicians.

Gary Glitter's a leg. Yeah. Oh, okay. The other leg is R. Kelly. Kelly's the penis.

Yeah, he should be the penis. Jerry Lee Lewis is the left arm. Yeah. Yeah. Jerry Lee Lewis.

I forgot the Lee. I was like Jerry Lewis. I mean, I know he sucked, but I didn't think he was banging kids. We'll revisit this for March Madness.

We're going to repackage this. Yeah, it's gonna be It's our idea. YEAH. NO ONE STEAL.

OH, DON'T YOU STEAL THIS. It's from a game called Five Night of [ __ ] Boys. Oh, there's a game. Oh, it's from a video game called Five Nights of [ __ ] Boys.

That's where Mecca Jackson Well, [ __ ] Well, you know, I It shows we're thinking, right?

Ideas are out there. It shows we're thinking we're on the right way here. Also, it's not that original of an idea. I mean, it's Mecca Stysen basically repackaged, you know, from from South Park.

That's why I was kind of was hoping that it was unique so that we could jump on it.

It's not it's not unique. But yeah, now I know, you know, would be very progressive. Mothraan.

H interesting. Think about it. It's a lot of people a lot of lawyers involved in that.

Mothra Man because now like the state of West Virginia as we know knows owns Moth Man,

but they don't own Mothra Man. They don't own Mothra Man, but the Japanese own Mothra.

Yeah. because of the pain it caused of what we did. Yes, we did it. All right, WE DID IT. Arrest me. Arrest me for World War II.

Yeah. Oh, I mean, this rocks. Oh, Kelsey's cheating. What are they doing? Cheating. She knows what we

are. They crossing the streams. Yeah, dude. They're just are they they that's napal

crop burning or no they're just shooting their flamethrowers. That's not napal. But you think flamethrowers like bait

you got to shoot it up. I had so much fun. For copies of this video or for more information.

What are we doing? We're on the road. Dude, WE WENT TO [ __ ] MINNESOTA. You could drive a tank there. WE DIDN'T EVEN [ __ ] THINK ABOUT IT.

I WANT TO SHOOT A flamethrower so bad. Where's Knob Creek? Can't we go? KELSEY, FINISH THE JOB.

CAN WE SIGN THAT? Can you sign us up for that? I want to shoot a flamethrower so bad. Honestly, I think if I got to shoot a flamethrower, I'd be okay.

Yeah. You think so? You think that you think that' make you okay with everything that's happened over the last couple of months?

No, I'm not talking about I bet I get a a week of happiness. I mean like I mean like okay across the board.

Yeah. With everything. Like I feel one week it's allowed if I get to shoot I really do believe

I could shoot a flamethrower. All the unresolved issues that you didn't have with your that you didn't work out with your father before he died.

Gone. All the things you have with your mother gone. I could just see imagining her tits explode as I'm [ __ ] strafe in that village.

Oh, so now you're killing a village. No, it's set up. Yeah, it's not it's not a real village.

Oh, it's like the He's just the cardboard village. cardboard. Yeah. Tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk tuk. That's that's what you hear when you come in. You hear the helicopters come in and then you got the like, you know, was that Billy Joel song about Saigon.

That song's playing and then you got to go in there and then you got all the cardboard cutouts of all the of the the VC popping out going, you know,

okay, you just So yours is VC. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's like my You're imagining that you are in Vietnam. Yeah.

Clearing a It's a pain. It's full of VC. It's an experiment. And it's it's like an escape room.

Thought experiment. How is it an escape room? Cuz you got to get out. You need to escape. Get out.

Got to leave sometime. Iron Man. You got to get out before last copter. Yeah. For Saigon Falls.

God damn. Fognack says Henry cut his finger trying to get food. I don't trust him with the flamethrower. You have no idea what happened to my finger.

No, I think we told him. You told you that you cut it on a staple. Yeah, when you were trying to get food out of a bag.

You didn't even cook the food. No, you didn't. No. Yes. I used capitalism, but it still hurt my little finger. It did. The staple from capitalism. Oh, your mother wants to see the rest of my shirt velvet abattoire. Mr. Hands. Explain who that is to your mom.

Herby Hancock. Is that what they call Herby Hancock? He's got an album called Mr. Hands.

Huh? Yeah. Whoa. I wonder if that's where that guy got it from. Who? Guy got a guy. Um

Mr. Hands is a He's an infamous beastiality enthusiast. Infamous. Well, those guys love Herby Hancock. Yeah, I got to [ __ ] a horse. Coming to check. Heard a great flute album that you guys would love. This guy is this guy's name is Hubert Law.

Oh, I love Hubert Law. Yeah. Have you heard the album Flute bylaws? No, I don't know that one.

Yeah, there is that guy right there. There's that fallen soldier. 2005. Horse [ __ ] him to death.

Wow. I'll be 45 next year. That's your Mr. Hands here. Check out flute bylaws. Real really great album.

Well, I just picked up one. I got I'll send you I'll send you a picture of it. It's

He's got Hubert laws is wonderful. You like your flutes. Oh, I love flutes now.

Yeah. I bought Bobby Humphrey this week. Let's watch another video. Yeah. Bobby Humphre is great. Bobby Humphre is the opposite of everything we've talked about,

except for Huber Laws, of course. Oh, Villa Avatar thinking of Mr. Hand from pastimes. Yeah, it's not that.

Is this Russia? Whenever I see a dash cam, I just assume it's Russia. No, this is B. This is B. This is a police in France.

Made in France. They don't [ __ ] around, dude. I mean, he's got to get into an accident right?

You know, they just had like their own Charlie Kirk thing. Oh, really? France. But um the distinct difference was instead of him being shot from a bunch of yards away by a guy with a gun that was extremely easy to use that we allowed him to have and we gave to him almost willingly. Um this dude was wildly beat to death in the street by like a group of people.

Really? France just does things a little bit more intense. How did they not make side stories today? Oh, we got a lot of stuff today. We had to talk about the thing with the boneless wings.

Yeah, that's an important story. I love I miss my B-Dubz Thai sauce. Anyone knows how to get some B-Dubz Thai sauce or has a recipe?

I had some incredible boy. The Korean place in my neighborhood. This is so much fun.

You know, I I sometimes watch videos like this and just to relax myself. I really love the driving around at night videos. Like you ever Oh, yeah. You ever watch the driving around New York City, like driving around Manhattan at night videos?

Oh, I love those. Yeah, I love those. So, I like the driving around Tokyo. You just I hate that it's like I I like this, but I don't like that I got to pretend to be a cop.

Well, I think the thing though is that you're a French cop, so you're drunk. You can still smoke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You have wine with lunch. He's not wearing underwear. It's a chase. He's chasing that guy.

Yeah. Oh, it's a chase. Yeah. Yeah. He's got See, that's what's fun. French cops are fun.

Oh, on the wrong side of the road. WOW. THAT'S ALL I want to do, man. They like Jerry Lewis. KICK HIM.

YEAH. WELL, PIT MANEUVER. KICK HIM. OH, [ __ ] YEAH, DUDE. GOOD [ __ ] PIT MANEUVER.

OH, WHAT'D HE DO? STEAL SOME BREAD? YEAH, I think probably. Oh, did he take some butt tower?

NO. OH, IT'S A FIGHT. Whailing on him. We'll never know what happened on the end of that.

We'll never know. I moved it. I You know what took them to The head of the the head of the security of the Louve just quit.

Oh, they took that? Yes. The Heat just went Heat is out there. Rob with who will win.

Kelsey with the flamethrower party that we are all going to get invited to. Actually very good.

These are all awesome. Three of them. James with the multicircle CL. I feel like there's usually a clear winner. Yes, these were all great.

But the head of security cuz you know the the thing with the Louve is that they found out like the password was like password one two three and then they immediately broke in and they

I changed the combination on my luggage. Yeah. Yeah. And so like the Lou has just been sitting there

waiting for us to steal from it super long time in France to have respect for they are you know

that's the thing with the windows don't open in the Lou you okay then was that you're French dying or

I had a I did a a French face and I got a weird Oh you see I get those those like Yeah.

Yeah. I got Yeah. I get mulle I get strikes across my whole body. Those are racism scars. No, I'm fixed.

My French interesting. INTERESTING. I'm fine. I'm fine now. I'm fine now. I'm good. I'm nice. Where's that cat that I want to have sex with?

I just I just wish I just wish you were talking today about the pen. Oh, wow. That is a close ass heat.

What happened? Rob took it down with who will win. Obviously though, it comes down to it because we all know that a million Michael Jacksons, we all knew it ahead of time, would take out 25,000 armed and trained soldiers.

Mhm. But it's we What kind of soldiers? I still don't think it's I don't think still

is it weird to say our first the first thing out of my head was IDF. Oh, really?

IDF versus Michael Jackson's. H interesting. Fascinating. It is fascinating. It is fascinating. It is fascinating.

Quibono. Lots of that. There's a lot much Quibono. Yeah. Poob butt says that's the ghosts of your your British ancestors chiding you for acting French.

Well, I was making fun of the French though, which they love that cuz the French are horrible.

The French are particular and they just and we're not. There was no that particular.

There was no nationality in New York City that I almost got into a fight with more than the French. I'm an American. more French more. Really?

Yeah. I Well, oh no. Okay. Outside of American. Yeah. Um I was always getting into conflicts with the French.

I just felt like in Paris, I felt like the anti-life equation in Paris. Like when I was in Paris, I'm like I'm ant every single way of my being is anti their very way of life. Yeah.

Um I'm not relaxed. I'm super uh I'm super upset. I'm not um I don't like fancy thing. I don't like fancy people.

I liked like Paris was cool though because like I'm there. I'm in their backyard.

Oh, no. I knew I'm playing I'm playing by their rules. NO, I WAS HANDS UP. YEAH, BUT you don't come to [ __ ] New York City and try being a [ __ ] French piece of [ __ ] and try to put Paris, France on [ __ ] New York City.

WHAT IS THIS DAY? NAH, you don't try [ __ ] You be in New York. You be in New York.

That's true. They could teach us how to protest better though. I like them. Well, I mean to

They know what they're doing. But also they protest and they just eat lunch around it.

They do. I'm always too stupid to know when they're making fun of me. And that keeps you safe.

It's a weapon. Yeah. I think maybe my problem is that I thought they were always making fun of me. So I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder. They are though. Yeah, they are. They are. They just

Yeah. But there, you know, who cares? Yeah. That's the thing. Then you have to understand. See, that's what he doesn't understand. He He was cool for a while.

Yeah. He didn't have that thing. I was I just knew I had to laugh when people made fun of me because if you didn't, they beat you up. Well, I had that too in Texas.

Yeah. Yeah. In New York, you can There it is. There it is. You have that on file just ready to go.

Yeah, of course he does. Also, that was a brave man that you know what that started my TV career because I asked

I asked asked what? Someone on Craigslist asked for someone to send in pictures of the man with hairy chest and back in order to get on television. And I did that. Oh,

you did. Yeah. You got a gig before any of us. I said I sent pictures of my body to a stranger on the internet for money before any of you [ __ ] sex workers.

I think some people stolen valor. I'm the stripper. I'm the androgynous little baby.

Well, I'm what's her name from what was that movie with the stripper? The prostitute.

Stripes. Yes. No, the other one with a young one. Michaela Moronro. Oh. Uh, Taxi Driver. Florida Project. Yep. Ah,

I'm her from Florida Project. Oh, you thinking Amora? Amora, not Florida Project.

Yeah, I'm from I'm the girl from Amora. You're the girl from Amora. The girl from Florida Project. Uh,

I'm from I'm that girl. I'm that sexually available woman that was ready for work.

Yeah. How early do you have to get up for your job? What? For your sex. For your sex work. Oh, yeah. I'm in the morning shift. I do 4 to 7. It always that explains all the coffee burns on your back.

Yeah, it's a part of the buffet thing. I do this stickick. I call myself the waffle machine. Yeah, you know how it is. Can you just get it done with I got 9:45. I got to get a colonoscopy. MC T starts with double champion Ian. Oh wow. What is this doing?

One, two, three. Rolling buns. This is how to see when it falls off. Great. This is fun.

Oh, is it over? I wanted it to be. I'm honestly I'm upset that that's over so early.

Yeah. Yeah. The ends are actually like Yeah, it sucks. Is there more to that, Eric?

Can you make it look I I wanted to loop it, but it was a handheld shot that would take Loop.

No, that was that would that would I could have sat there for 5 minutes. I could have.

Yeah, I'm actually kind of disappointed in that. I was waiting for the drop and the drop never came.

Yeah. You know, I wonder if that's going to affect Ian's job. It might job. Yeah, it seems like he's, you know, either working too hard or not hard enough.

Well, you know what? He submitted. I'll say that. Yeah, he submitted at least. Submitted.

Yeah, I'm committed with the submitted. All right, let's see the next box going around a circle. Maddie hold. What's wrong with you? Tonsillitis.

Appendicitis. Yeah. Nobody's died of tonsillitis around here for a while. Appendicitis.

Nothing to worry about. Scalpel. What if the joint were in somebody else's hand, like your surgeon, your lawyer, or your local policeman? Would you still say marijuana is harmless?

No. Let's see if I can still make a straight line. Forget it. YEAH. OH, [ __ ] the patient looked like Joshua Benowitz.

That's great. I love that ch, man. Hey, bro. Let's [ __ ] do some surgery. Yeah,

it' be so hard. I like marijuas. You know what? But weirdly enough, I think that would be nice.

Surgeon was a smoking cheap. I mean, it'd be better if he was I would like that he smokes, but you know, do you want

sober during the I guess the key is I guess like because you know they say that most surgeons that excel probably have some level of psychopathy.

Yeah. Sociopathy. Yeah. They they can remove themselves because they can really look at us like we're meat.

Yeah. Right. Like weed sometimes does bring empathy. I I won't say it does necessarily, but it can.

It does to me. Yeah, it does. That's kind of what you're supposed to do. Yeah. I've been I've been smoking a a a lot.

Yeah, it's awesome. It's been amazing. But my empathy through the roof. Yeah. That's my I think that's my problem.

But yes, but I feel like I wonder if it's bad. That's why I'm so empathetic. Maybe you got to stop.

So you stop caring as much. But I think surgeons you probably don't want them to be a hippie.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably don't want them to be easy going. They can't care if they tie the loop or not with your esophagus,

right? Because if they're too like nervous, they did it right. I want them to be creative.

Oh my god. So, I'm I'm flying last week and I I know who I was behind in the TSA checkout. Uh the guy from the pit. You watched the pit?

Yeah. The guy not the cool other doctor. Like the cool like the guy who's going to kill himself in the first episode.

Dr. Um Dr. Rabbit. That's what Gernie said. Dr. Abbott. Dr. Rabbit. Yeah. I saw I was behind him and then in TSA checkout and they took his luggage. TSA took his luggage and I went up behind him. I was like, "That's why you can't pack your scalpel.

That's why you can't pack your scalpel." He was mad. He didn't like it. I Nothing makes me happier than making a celebrity angry in that way. That's so funny cuz IT'S JUST SO LIKE THAT GUY. YEAH.

YEAH. HE'S IN READY OR NOT, TOO. YEAH. YEAH. He's in Ready. Yeah. Apparently, he's packing his scalpel when he's traveling.

That's such a That's incredible. Well, that's the other thing, too. We got to stop calling celebrity. We got to stop calling actors celebrities. That guy's an actor.

He's an actor. True. It's the same way where people were like, "To be honest, I got a lot of flack because I did drunkenly message Dan Levy

and I did do a follow-up and I haven't gotten anything back." Did you do the followup sober?

No. Oh, okay. Try one sober. No. Any followup? That's all I said. Any followup?

Asked any followup? Yeah. Any followup? Any followup? What What was um the the followup? He said, "Extremely sorry for losing Katherine O'Hara. It's a loss to us all. Can't believe we lost that angel." And then I asked him, "Were you dressed as young Eugene Levy in Best of Show when it cut back to him when it as a boy when he was diagnosed with two left feet?"

Of course he was. I don't know. What do you mean? What do you mean you DON'T KNOW? OF COURSE, YOUNG.

I WANTED to hear it from him. AND YOU'RE THAT'S WHAT YOU HAD TO ASK HIM. YEAH. And to try to get him to answer that, you again drunkenly texted any followup.

Well, now I knew he's not getting back. Yeah. At this point, I imagine he wasn't getting back. So then

mentors dead. Did you dress like your dad once? I didn't know. IT WAS TWO SEPARATE MESSAGES. IT WAS TWO SEPARATE MESSAGES,

but they're right next to each other. They're not two separate messages. They're two different text bubbles.

Yeah, because he didn't answer thought brackets. You guys I separated them. I separated the thought brackets. Don't ever feel bad for DMing Henry. Yeah, I barely see it. Um, Coach Henry, have you considered finding out where Dan Levy lives and driving by his house? Absolutely. I actually do know exactly where he lives because they just showed a bunch of pictures of it recently because they did a whole thing of the renovation of his new home. I actually know exactly where it is. It's not too far from here. And if we wanted to, we could go right now.

And if I really wanted to, I could say the address and then we could all meet there together and we could yell and just be like, "Answer Henry's question. Answer Henry's question. Answer Henry's question. Acknowledge the drunkenness. Acknowledge the drunkenness."

I will acknowledge it. No, I'm asking him to acknowledge you. ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE YOUR FATHER?

First of all, and then I will say I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry. I'm a big fan.

We are. I love [ __ ] We are actually a big mass fans. Ships Creek is the only happy comedy I've ever liked ever. Yeah, it's like one of my favorite things in the world and I don't like that stuff. It's actually good. Yeah.

Yeah. Great. Yeah. I like The Good Place. Slacking Off says, "You're talking to Dan Levy like weird dudes DM hot girls." Yeah. I was trying to try something.

Yeah. I kind of thought Well, I got the check next to my name and um I was wearing when I wore my Ramstein shirt the other day, men kind of were talking at me.

Yeah. Yeah. So, I figured that maybe I could send a message and it would just be will be nice.

He looks like a Ramstein fan. Talking about What do you mean? You know who Dan Levy is?

No, but this picture. What? Dan Levy. No, not that one. Not that one. The one when he they talk about I believe it's best in show when they talk about him as a little boy with the two left feet.

I just saw that movie. I don't remember that movie. Let's uh move on with the videos. We've only got We're only two in this heat.

Yep. For Dan Levy, will you be Henry's father? He's not father material. No. Too young.

Eugene Lovey. Yeah. Yeah. Eugene Levy could be your new daddy. I'd slide right in there.

Mhm. That'd be good with his family. I thought it was really nice about Katherine O'Hara.

I love this [ __ ] [ __ ] Crush, dude. This is to what they have added to the [ __ ] uh the big dog show, the Westminster.

Well, they needed to do something. They have added Those dogs are just running in circles.

Next year, LPN I am saying this right now as LPN is going in hard on the Westminster dog show.

Really? Do we're Are we going to sponsor a dog dance? We're going to go in hard on the Westminster dog show. Actually,

I want to be there. I want to be running commentary on this. Oh man, we could have a dog like recreate the dance from Bone Temple.

That'd be [ __ ] awesome. That's definitely Ray Fine's dance moves, too. You know,

this is the most wonderful stuff in the world. I will say the old the Cubans are doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

Oh, no. But but THAT'S DOG'S DOING GREAT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NO, THIS DOG'S PERFECT.

Dog is perfect. Well, I thought it was going to go up her butthole or something. By the way, I think this is a good time to tell anybody I have a Chihuahua for sale. I have an old Chihuahua for sale for $500. It's 10 years old and it needs to get neutered and it bites occasionally, but you can have it for $500.

Oh, that's all you have to do is give him Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can have the You don't giving me the money. You're giving it to the foster agency.

But you got to give it to him to give it to them. Yeah. Actually, you know what? Today only $400.

You're covering 100. I'm angry. This is the type of sport that people who don't know how to season chicken watch. Uh I season chicken very well and I watch this all day.

Yeah. Who the [ __ ] What are you doing? You mean don't know how to season chicken? Well,

he's saying white people. I usually saying it's for white people. Hold on. You're Are you saying the most That's the most racist thing I've EVER HEARD. HE'S SAYING WE WENT TO THE BAPTIST.

YEAH. YEAH. YOU SAY BLACK PEOPLE DON'T THINK THIS SUCKS. THAT'S WHAT THAT PERSON'S SAYING.

You say my wife would not enjoy this. You say not a single black man would like this. [ __ ] you. You racist.

I usually like You mean TO TELL ME THERE'S NOT A SINGLE BLACK MAN THAT WOULD ENJOY THIS?

Can we take this guy off of Patreon? Who is he? Guess what? You got one non-white guy that loves it?

Yeah. You? Yeah. Cuz he's Oh, he's pink. I'm European. He's I'm very European. Yeah. Like this. This is very European. You know what would be great if we got a dog and a person to do um the uh in dream sequence from uh Blue Velvet.

Oh, that's great. With you. Let's do that. I certainly don't want to see the Pulp Fiction dance.

You know, no, I actually feel like that's overdo scene. That's a lot. Get to work on this [ __ ]

Saw him rub a holes. L P. Yeah. Zed just died. Yeah. Shot himself in the [ __ ] Did you see how he died?

He accidentally shot himself. Yeah. Real stupid. That's tough. That's bad. That's real tough.

This is awesome. That's fantastic. Think about how much the Chihuahua has to memorize.

Yeah. By the way, my Chihuahua Panchidito that I'm trying to sell to people, it got zooies for the first time since it moved in with me yesterday. Oh, those pants are coming back in style. It's nice.

It died JUST LIKE INDIANA SWAN LAKE. That's incredible. Beautiful. I love that.

No, the eight nickels. They didn't do the actual death, but there is more of that. There's so much more of that dog dance.

That is just the top that we just saw one. There's a whole world of stuff of tiny dogs and and people.

So, it's just tiny dogs. Any medium dog? You know there are medium dogs. Okay. Cuz the medium

medium dogs takes a bigger person. You're telling me a big dog can't dance? Heat number two. Hold on a second. Hold hold hold that thought. Hold it please. Heat number two is live. Ian with a box. Maddie with weed surgeon and Meline with stunning Chihuahua swanlike routine.

And actually I actually I might be wrong. I actually think there there has to be a big dog category. I just don't know if it's the same because it's like agility and a routine. So,

I don't think St. Bernard's dance well. No, I don't think I don't know if Great Danes can either, but I bet a golden

I get both of these sound racist thoughts, weirdly enough. I bet a golden retriever could dance really well. I bet a Labrador.

A Labrador probably. Labrador can dance. What's the one that flips over walls? Collie.

No, the one that jumps on the walls and it flips up and it grabs a thing. Greyhound.

And it kills people, too. Uh, it's a shepherd of some sort. We're talking about dogs.

We're talking about malamute. Malamute. A malamute. Malamute. Yeah, sure. I haven't seen one yet, Eddie.

Could dance. You haven't seen one. Honestly, an Afghan could dance. Did say that's fast.

I'm just here with Simpleton Ed asking. Do you think, hey, hey, can our setter dance?

I love our setters. Oh yeah, look at that guy. Maloy, you think like can a Belgium Malano dance?

Belgium. Hey. Hey, Liz. Get a Dawson dance. Hey. Hey, Henry. Hey, wake up. Optimistic enough to believe that they can.

Maline takes it. Of course. Stunning Chihuahua Swan Lake routine. That's pretty cool. I don't know. Now the question is how many Chihuahua

in two in in uh tutus versus 1 million Michael Jacksons in order to defeat the Michael Jacksons. I'd probably say three million Chihuahua.

I would say like I think two I think two to Chihuahua is every man. If I had I think you could take five Chihuahua.

Yes. Cuz I know how to do them. Yeah. You know how to do Chihuahua. I know. I slam chewing. You take two and

and then I think it would take dozens of Chihuahua to take any of us down. You think so?

You'd be surprised. Cor can bite. Once they get going, once they get you on the ground, they get your throat and they get your eyes.

Yeah. Start ripping at your genitals. It's like hanging out with Chris Skard. He's in jiu-jitsu and all that stuff.

Mhm. Grabs at you. These are comedians. There was a whole year where comedians started getting into grabbing each other.

Jiu-jitsu. Yeah. Well, it's just Yeah. Yeah. Well, there was just a really long time that like whatever Chris Gard did, every other comedian would do.

Yeah. And so a lot of guys out in jiu-jitsu and then they were like, I think it hurts.

Mhm. It's gross. I was a little mad when I saw him feeding an alligator in his comedy special. I was like, "Dude, what the fuck?" Yeah. Get out of here.

Yeah. Hey, but stay out of the [ __ ] We choose peace, Christopher G. We do choose peace, but [ __ ] what's up dude?

We choose peace. Stay out of Florida. We love you. We think you do a good job. He does a great job. Stay at a [ __ ] stay in Jersey,

please. If you would. Chris Cather, please. Hammer Hearnham. Next one. Fewer members.

Next heat. Third heat. All right. Here comes Ernie. You thinking be late for work, but I had to turn around. When I saw he has jeans on,

I was like, I know. I got to get a picture of this for my mama. Oh, this guy. Is it a pig with jeans on?

I know this guy. It's a chicken with jeans. Yeah. No, you turn around. They're all there taking pictures with jeans on.

I mean, they're very He's very popular. He gets stopped by the cops all the time. Yeah.

If you want us to stop talking about the Epstein files, president of the United States needs to get a chicken with James.

Gurnie, you sent me this. Oh, so is this Burbank? Yeah. Oh, so he's local. Yeah. You recognize the [ __ ] ARE WE DOING HERE?

Police right there. I don't know about all that. We got to get this guy in. I want to meet the chicken.

Look out for him. Look the staff. $99 to this guy. It's a rooster. They're not even sending in videos.

Now he's 46 to the Yeah. Yeah, dude. Feel that. 46 Sanders. Oh, it's great. You know, we actually did a one for us, one for you one time. The theme was u animals wearing pants.

That's right. Was he one of them? I don't know. No, because that was long enough ago where that whatever chicken I showed. Long dead.

How long do rooers live? How long do roosters live? Oh my rooers live underneath God's green earth and all these crazy crazy Dublin nights.

I wish I knew. I had a dream about Mitt and Shine Merosa 25 years old. Rob, could we look that up, please?

I think it's like 3 to seven. 7 to 9. Okay. So, I imagine it aids out quickly and you have to get another one in jeans pretty quick.

Yeah. You think that you have to start it in jeans early? I found his Instagram.

You found his Instagram. Chickens. How long do roosters live for? Yeah, that's what I want to know is how long do roosters live for?

I would imagine you need two. Oh, like the Olsson twins. Five to 10. Okay. Five to 10.

So, both of my answers were technically correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. But I feel like to get it used to the jeans.

I mean, when does that start? After a couple months. Getting started and you first you need it to be fully grown. You're just going to keep making jeans unless you put practical.

Yeah. I You're right. Wait. Yeah. Who is he? Stupid. Yeah. Making new jeans for the chicken all the time.

Hey, I just made jeans. You mean to tell me that chicken grew up? Stupid. Stupid.

Make jeans over here. Got this dildo for [ __ ] sheeps. You got dildos full of sheeps. Is that forever bro? Forever, dude. MY CHICK BORN IN JEANS.

Oh yes. What if I started wearing hats? You can. Yeah. I'm down for any new affectation. Okay,

shut this off. I hate this. We don't even have to. Everybody hates this. No one liked it.

I God, I hated that so much. We're going to take money out of his account. Yeah, I think start docking him, right?

We can actually I think we can take money out of his pension. Do you think it would be super funny to take a $100 out of his paycheck?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd tell them just take it out. Yeah. That would be super funny. You'd notice.

Yeah. This is fun. I mean, we put it back in the next month. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We'll double it up. I just But just more of like

Just take it out. Did you see that's what happens? Maybe we could take out like $5 a month.

Oh, that's right. Just $5 a month and see how long it takes him to notice. I love this idea that it's like what if we just become evil CEOs to one person in the company, right? Like everybody else is nothing else is fine, but we just we do all evil CEO things to one guy in the company. Yeah,

that's a good idea. Yeah, exactly. Marget, we were just that chicken with jeans.

Yeah. Yeah. And then that was like the equivalent of turning the lights on at an orgy.

That was like, well, I want to see that. No, you don't. For a little bit. You know what? Did you see?

Uhoh. You don't want that. Yeah, cuz it's guys like me. It's It's all guys like him.

Yeah. Sex workers. Yep. How long do you think they let him be on that helicopter pad?

What? They were on It's a short video. Oh, yeah. They didn't uh to be honest, they No permits for that.

You know, there was someone else security guard there. Yeah. Oh yeah. Too slimy.

Oh yeah. Too slimy. I just hated every single So Mike, this is funny. Someone asked on Holden's show asked him why is his video selection so low quality as compared to the rest of the company. And Holden said to him that because now of his full-time job, he doesn't have as much time on the internet, which is such a funny

[ __ ] watching Mario speeduns every time I walk in that room. I watch that. Every time I come in in the morning, when I come into work in the morning, he's in the [ __ ] office, he's in there just watching [ __ ] on Twitch. It's like 9:30 in the morning. He's just watching things. I don't have time. If you can watch, if you can lean, you got time to find some abortion videos on YouTube that we can do here. All right. If you got time to sit there, then you got time to find some form of racial blackface, like some some international blackface, something fun,

something upsetting for us. So, I'm That means I'm going to have to uh God, you know, I spent some of my free time with him this weekend.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Jesus. Wow. Yeah. I'm going to I wasn't even on the clock. I didn't get paid or nothing.

No. And it wasn't towards any sort of project. It was just wow. Yeah, just time. Time you'll never get back.

Either way, come see us in Jacksonville on April 12th. Mr. Fister says, "What the [ __ ] is on at 9:30 a.m. on Twitch?"

God knows. God knows. But he's watching it. God knows. Remember, we're on the East Co or on the West Coast, so you know, whatever's on at noon.

Yeah, he's getting the noon the noon flow. Yeah, he's watching Fat Men eat sandwiches. Honestly, Jackie in Bushwick, we should for the next one. We should bring him into this room

for the next staff man. We should bring him in the room and we should make his selection be his own act out.

Ah, that we make him scum and act something out. I think he gets most of his links from his own chat.

Oh, they Yeah, right. He's not even cheating. All right, that's fine. Boy, we don't got to we don't got to litigate this.

All right. Any of you guys watch Bright Line videos after we left last week, by the way?

Kelly, did I see that again? That was from Huffing It. That was from our promo for Huffing It.

Yeah. Think about that. That we had promo. Yeah. Yeah. They brought Henry and Holden. Look at Holden. He looks like a He's got like almost a human body there.

Why did we wear shirts with with I don't know why we wore shirts with ties. You know, you look at a bunch of weird choices cuz that was a part of there was a guy at my office when I used to work in an office job. Like that tie I had was a bunch of these zip ties. Like none of them actually tied, right? So I had like 12 of these ties that zipped up and I all got them from a guy that literally at work. He came up to my desk was this old old man and he was like he dropped it on my desk and he was just like I wanted you to have these because I know you perform.

I have terminal cancer and I will not be back in the office. And I remember him giving me this like like and I remember cuz I was at the time I was a deadeyed blareeyed evil office worker. So I was just like thanks you know like I didn't no experience like whatever. Yeah. Thanks old man.

And now I think about that. [ __ ] take your ties. I haven't thought about that tie in a long time. I that was my specifically that was my pharaoh's treasure tie.

Oh very treasure. A murder fist sketch. Ah, Henry starts with making eggs and then it goes into chaos.

I had diet of very specific costumes. Yep. Yeah, you did. I missed that 9/11 tie. Do you still have that?

No, that was the best one. Was it from the guy who all his friends died in 911 or was it 911 themed?

It was a 911 themed tie that I had bought on uh uh in Chinatown. I bought this great World Trade Center tie that I did when we did Murfist. We did a Murphus Live on 911 time

and then when I came out with that T like that was the probably the hardest I've ever crushed without saying a word.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full round of applause. New York City. I really loved it.

Ain't no party like a 911 party cuz the 9/11 party don't stop. That's right. Yep. Keeps going for the rest of our lives.

What's this? Oh, all right. Very interesting. this way. This is the exact thing I like.

All right. Fantastic. I miss cartoons that make you feel like you're going to get in trouble for watching. Yeah, this is great. What is this?

French or Russian? Russian. That's awesome. Yeah, wait. Do we If we get to do Young Shankmire Man.

Yeah, it's all this kind of stuff. You've never seen it, right? You've never seen Young.

It's It's liveaction. This. Yes. But with like miniatures. It's claimation. This is exactly why I don't want to go to Russia, though. This is very cool, but I can't be around this.

I'm actually want to do go to Russia. Same. I'm obsessed with going to Russia. I want to go real bad.

Any reason to go? Moscow is supposed to be very, very interesting. Me and Carol, we've been wanting for years and years to go to Russian.

I'm Russian. Really? I don't want to go. Huh? Well, aren't you like I'm far western Ukrainian. Yeah. You're like Russian

Ukrainian. Russian. Yeah. was a three. It was three. Ah, I think there's one Nazi in there.

The thing I'm working on right now, there was uh there was quite a lot of social overlap. I didn't really fully understand what was happening in Western Ukraine. And now I completely understand. Ah, good. Got that figured out. Jesus. Yeah, it was awesome. So Papinsky. This God I love their eyes. Like I just love the design of it.

Yeah. No one No one does eyes like the Russians. You ever read Brothers Karma Mazoff?

Yeah. Twice. Have you Marcus? No, I've only read uh short stories from Russia. Yeah, cuz it's I can only handle short stories uh with Russian writers because the the names I get confused in in novels and I'm just staring at a page after a while.

I've been I have a copy of Brothers Karamazov that I've been staring at for like that and the Odyssey that I got to read.

I should read some Gole. You should read the nose. I have some from Gole. I forgot what else what it was.

I got this giant Donald Duck uh comic book in Russian. Yeah. I should give it. Do you want it?

Yeah, I should give that to you. That's got no reason to be in my possession and all it and need to be in your possession.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll bring it in for you. Don't worry. Thank you. This thing's [ __ ] awesome.

I want to see this at a movie theater. Yeah, me too. They don't show good things in movie theaters anymore.

Just stuff we've seen. Stuff. This is cool. This is VERY COOL. I'VE BEEN THERE, MAN. WOW.

You know that feeling at the end of the night man. What about Why did people, you know, when that thing people start getting dark at the end of partying and stuff and party for a long time, things

around like 4:30? Yeah. Even just in life, nothing good happens after two. Heat number three, we got Gurnie coming in with the hottest bird in the game. Mr. Chicken with jeans. Hold on. Then Jo excerpt from the hell by Ryan Ramat. Ramat Ramat.

I loved it. I like it. But you know, like when you were like, I'm not even just talking specific period in a night. It's more like in a life. Like you notice how someone who always parties, right? Like eventually their life gets dark and weird and something bad happens pretty much every once in a while like there'll be a guy that never stops partying but then somehow it mellows into he becomes a fun guy. What is what happens? How do you miss the dark period?

How do you skip the dark period? Yeah. What's about the dark period that happens before like why can some There's like not a lot of guys I'd say one in 20 that can't actually party their entire lives. Hm.

Without ruining everything. No, I don't think I've ever met one. Yeah, everyone ruins at least one night.

Well, yeah, that's different. That's not what I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm talking about ruining a life.

Yeah, just ruining everything. Yeah. Oh, ruining a bunch of lives. I've never known a party guy.

Well, I guess one Doug died. Yeah, he died really early. Yeah, he did. But he didn't do bad. He had a great time until the day he died.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I guess that is dark dying. It is. It is dark. Dying at 45. Super dark.

That is very dark. Super dark. Yeah. I would say like a party guy that just look,

you know, when you see like an old guy never get Yeah. Jimmy Buffett. Yeah. Close.

I think he was sober. Sammy Hagar. Jimmy Buffett. Sober. I think so. No. Sammy Hagar ain't.

Look that up. The Red Rocker. Sammy Hagar is doing [ __ ] great. He's like 80 years old. He's performing live like three nights a week. Andrew WK. I haven't heard from him in a long time.

I haven't heard from him either. Sober. Got married. Married and sober. Cat Dennings.

Cat Dennings. She She parties. He married. Oh, we bagged Cat Dennings. Really? Sober.

Oh, what kind of bait do you use? Andrew WK. Did we find out Jimmy Buffett was sober?

I mean, I'm sure he wasn't. Oh my god. Did Holden win the He did win the heat? You [ __ ] You [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] No, they don't.

Okay, good. Good. I was just about to say this is obviously that is your liberty.

It is. No, that is your liberty. We're This is a democracy. It's your vote. No matter what horrible decision you make, we do have to abide by it.

Wow. Joel squeaks it out. SOMEHOW visions of hell beat the chicken and jeans. Holden got 5%.

Yeah. Hold Holden. He married Holden was your Ralph Nater. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Holden [ __ ] you.

Mhm. Yep. Yeah. That directly came from your camp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you can charge holding $100.

Yeah. Those are the uh those are definitely chicken people. It was 5%. All right. So, we have our final heat. We have our final [ __ ] heat. We should just burn through these cuz we're going over, right?

I'm trying to find who is what. Oh, wait. McFaren. Oh, wow. It's Doc don't know nothing about a double barrel shotgun dog. Double dare dog. That's right. He ain't never been He don't know what a truck driver needs. He ain't never been behind the wheel of a super duper hot performance race truck.

Medicine my ass. I'll show him medicine [ __ ] here. Extremely bad. He got this [ __ ] But how does he know what a truck driver needs? He ain't never been behind a wheel a day in his life.

I don't think it's a double hot dog and a bun. I don't think I honestly think he needs a juice. He needs some water and juice. Honestly, I feel like if that man had something healthy, he would die.

Yeah, that's what that was what they said about my dad for like a decade. They always were like,

"If he got healthy, he'd die." They just were like, "Well, you know, if he quit smoking, he'll die." It was like,

you know, with that guy, I say, "Get him out of here." Yeah. Yeah. Just certainly don't need him driving a giant truck.

We really don't. Let's just keep giving him hot dogs. Let him be happy. How does he drive with crutches?

Uses the man, you know. Cool. All right, let's get to this next one. I'm sorry. Let's keep going.

I wanted to talk about a hot dog hogy I made once. I'll get you. One area of consensus that homosexuality involves more than just sexual behavior.

Oh, good. It's physiological. Bailey and his colleagues have set up a series of experiments in his lab at Northwestern.

The Chicago winters are harsh. In this study, researcher Gal Rigger had gay and straight people sit in a chair and talk. He then reduced them to silent black and white figures and asked volunteers to see if they could tell gay from straight. The idea was to find out if certain stereotypes were real and observable.

Oh, I can do this. She looks quite feminine to me. He's gay. This is a man already. I can see

he's gay. He's straight. That was so powerful. Exactly. That was so powerful. More often than not, the volunteers in the study could tell who was gay and who wasn't.

So, is the conclusion that gay people do in fact move differently? Yeah, absolutely.

It's not true 100% of the time. It is true on average. They also studied the way gay and straight people talk.

Hi, it's nice to meet you. Would you like to have a drink? Sounds straight to me.

That is hi, it's nice to meet you. Uh, you want to go have a drink? Gay, gay, gay, straight, gay, gay, gay, gay, straight.

Oh, and so it's not a choice. Not to that lady. Not to that lady. Betri Slaughter says, "Buy eraser." Cuz that's the problem. A lot of those guys, how would you how would you know?

Yeah, they swang both ways besides you wouldn't have to worry about it because I [ __ ] tell you. I don't know what that means. I'm

sober. He got sober. Margaritas. Just margaritas. Margaritas. It's probably sugar.

Yeah. Yeah. Sugar. Yeah. A lot of sugar in a margarita. You can drink a tear. You can drink a clear liquor your whole life.

Yeah. You can drink vodka. Mhm. He died from it. Next one. Last video. He died. Last last video. Skin cancer

cuz he wouldn't put sunblock on. It's unbelievable. Should have just kept drinking margaritas.

Was rolling on the couch. That is so that is crazy. I'm still freaking out a little bit that you

No, I was giving the Sam Jackson LIKE someone uncovering. I know you're also a fan of Top Model.

Oh, yeah. I TOTALLY CRIED WHEN TAKARA got kicked off. Man, I totally season three. Yeah. And you also are a

a FOOT FAN. YEAH. IT'S A BLACK MALE THING. All right. I have a I don't like your feet too much. You know, let me tell you a little secret. Do you know that I just kind of manicures come in really really fast to do my feet because I heard that you have a foot finish.

Oh, I was going to actually say, is this on my account? All right. You know, I THINK YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND with a pedicure. All right. But like the, you know, the showing off sandals. I was like, is that for me?

It so was for you. It so was for you. I appreciate it. And um so I want to combine it. I want to combine your love with your obsession with feet.

I just say obsession. All right. I don't have uh I have I have a uh I have I'm I like them.

I have a fondness. Fondness. You're looking for an F-word. Fondness. Fondness. Fondness. Fetish. Okay. I want to help I want to help Quinton find America. This makes me want to die model.

Oh no. Oh god. No. Okay. So come over here. WE HAVE THESE SPECIAL CHAIRS. Oh jeez.

PEDICURE CHAIRS. PEDICURE CHAIRS. She's complicit. We're all complicit. Tyra blamed the audience

here. America. She blamed the audience on America's Top Model in that documentary.

Don't put it on vibrate. Quinn, don't get freaked out. All right. Okay. So, we're putting three women through three challenges and they got masks covering their faces inspired by the crazy 88 to kill Bill. So, Quinton can only judge them by their feet, not by their faces. All right. So, should we send the girls out?

You know what that look right there? Can we pause? Look at him going, is this a good idea? Is this a good idea? Like you could literally see him going, "Is this a good idea that I should be doing? Is this something I should be doing? Should I be doing this?" They he knew before he got out there what they

Oh, it was Oh, yes. That's what I'm saying. And then I think that he realized upon the highly awkward reaction the audience was having of him talking about his foot fetish to in public and she's wearing shoes.

They got open. This is what footage fetish people like the most. Yeah. Cuz not him. He likes dirty feet. They should they should had them walk in the street.

Mannequins were made after these feet. They're soft, sensual, sexy. They're perfection. Every man wants them, even women. So, I mean, hey, they are it. I take care of them. All right, Quinn. Confident.

That's what she should be. All right. Next up is Jessica. Come out out Jessica with your sexy walk.

This is so upsetting. American dentist offices. See the guys like this is because the toes are squished out within the heels and so it highlights the toes. Some guys are heel guys, some people like dirty feet.

Well, I've always been told that high arches are a symbol of sexy feet and I definitely have high arches.

Oh, nice. I don't have an arch. But not only that, I've been actually like propositioned by men who would pay me good money to touch my feet. But Quinton, I might let you do IT FOR FREE. WOO!

OH GOD, how did this happen? HE WORKS IN A VIDEO STORE. Just turn into night calls all of a sudden.

My last contestant is the call. Why does he keep doing the death jam voice? That's

Why does he keep doing the Jeff the De Jam comedy? He talks too easy in front of a guy. Oh, I know.

All righty. I never thought that I'd not want to hang out with him. No, of course. No, I knew I never wanted to hang out with him. I like his films

because she always encouraged me to take care of my feet. I love giving myself pedicures. And I kid you not, every time I go out in public, there's always some guy who sees my toes and drops to his knees and starts kissing them. It's happened more than once.

Every time you go out in public, that could be a pain in the ass. EVERY SINGLE DAY. ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE, which is an onsite inspection.

He needs to be never heard. You're the master of the feet, so you need to go and check them out.

This makes me nauseous. He's like, if the text Avery Wolfing, we could open the boating while we finish.

We'll open the voting. I do have a a question. How is he good at what he does? It's because, to be honest,

he copies. Well, he's both. He is an extremely capable filmmaker. I love all of his.

It's because the director is supposed to be in the background. It is not supposed to be like this. Alfred Hitchcock

might not. He would have done this. Alfred Hitchcock Alfred Hitchcock would have done this.

Yeah, he was dirty. But Yan Spankmire, he would probably be like, "How do I kill them?"

How do I turn their feet into puppets? Well, I can stand on my toes. Well, I used to at least. We're going to try it again. on your actual she'll help.

This is the most awkward thing I think I've ever seen. This should be lost. Never seen again by

I can't believe she found this. I can't believe how have I never seen this before.

Yeah. How did April find this? I've never seen this before. Your turn. It's my turn. Yep.

I can do abstract art. Oh, there's your You see your your paint there. It's just like disappointing.

And your thing, you know what I mean? cuz it's not illegal. It's not illegal. There's nothing illegal happening. It's just the most embarrassing thing you can do.

Yeah. Absolutely. And you know, it was like, "Oh, no. I stop." Cuz then you remember how the last 3 years he's been saying, "I don't have one."

I've been, right, that he's constantly saying he doesn't have a foot fetish. And I actually even was like, "Well, even the foot stuff might be overblown."

I watched him drink out of Uma Thurman's shoe. It's a lot of guys. It's a lot of guys this episode if I wasn't on it.

You don't know it was on Tyrant today. I wish I didn't ever see him speak. Just delete it, Eddie.

Well, usually a lady can signal a man by her look. I can signal a man by my feet just by looking at them.

Oh, how do how do you do that? When is the commercial? And they see that on just touch the arch and the leg goes up up and back down into the next Jesus Christ.

God damn it. That's disgusting. However you like I mean chocolate in your mouth. However,

I hate him. I wish I don't I this is not good for me. No, I like his movies too much. I got to turn. We shouldn't be knowing things about

a winner. So, who is it going to be? I get to choose. We don't have to confer here.

Oh, no. It's all about you, baby. Okay. Uh, open the poll. Oh, yeah. April won the poll. Obviously won this.

Uh, I got to go with the sister. Eric won. Wow. Look at that. Fascinating. I mean, this is fascinating.

It does ruin like everything. Everything. Yeah. the beautiful. Yeah. You know what's really great is stuff like this, honestly, and I've been saying this too about the Epstein finals.

Stuff like this makes me never nervous to meet that man ever again. The best part about this, it is eliminated all importance from that man.

I literally can, if I saw him on the street, I'd be like, "What's up, bro? Hi, buddy."

All of his power is gone. It's gone. which is a liberating feeling in Hollywood. It's very liberating to know that I don't have to care what any of these people think.

God, he's the worst. It's just deeply embarrassing. No agent of his said, nothing. Let's think about this. His nobody said anything.

I mean, who's her writing staff? He's not even plugging anything. He's plugging Kill Bill agency by the professional.

They mentioned it. Yeah, they mentioned it earlier. FINAL POLL IS UP. Final poll is up. Who be employee of the month for February? It's a truncated month.

Smaller month. Rob, who will win? Michael Jackson or the soldiers? Obviously, Michael Jackson.

How many Quinton Tarantino versus Michael Jackson? Can I talk like him now? Madlin stunning Chihuahua Swan Lake routine Joel excerpt from scenes from hell and Eric gay straight gay straight

who will take home the $99.99 for the month of February send through Vinmo at the lowest possible highest possible prize we can give without paying taxes.

I feel like I just watched live gore. I feel Yeah, I feel like April should win.

Yeah, I I feel like we should give her extra money. Any other video we should just give her money for finding that.

Like that's like As much as I hated it, it really broke all three of us. Yeah, that's a serious

I was having a really nice time. Like, not even anything. Like, legitimately, that's a serious ass video because now he's constantly backpedaling.

Yeah, funnily enough. Yeah. I don't mind it in the movies. In the movies it's fine, man.

The movie's got a couple. It's not even that egregious in the movies. IT'S JUST IN THE THAT WAS JUST No one should see that. There's a behind on the Grindhouse DVD. There's a behind the scenes of Planet of Terror and he's just like being really gross with Fergie. Yeah. In it and he's just like tackling her and holding her and he's just being really weird and everyone's like, "Why is he doing this?" And they put it in the behind the scenes on the DVD and I'm just like, "This looks like a crime." You got to remember it again.

Everything's changed. Everything has changed so much. That long ago. I mean, it was Plan Terror was what, 2008, seven? Dude, this is one of the straight up this is a good heat. But taking it all down, which honestly I will say thank you only just because it's a moment of light in this life. Stunning Chihuahua Swanlake routine takes it.

Wow. Adeline, I will say, is that Meline's first win? MELINE'S FIRST WIN. ADELINE'S FIRST WIN.

Really took it. And I'm I'm sending 50 bucks to April. Yeah, I think you should. I'm just going to send her 50 bucks.

Yeah, cuz that was really upsetting. But that was also like that should go to the news. Like literally that that should be bumped up for people to see and be like,

"Yeah, spread that around." Yeah. But [ __ ] Paul Dano. Yeah. Right. [ __ ] Matthew Lillard.

Matthew Lard was great in what was it? The the the stranger, right? Was it the one where he played the

I'm starting to think. I mean, he was great in Twin Peaks: The Return. Oh, he was great in Twin Peaks Return. He's a great actor.

Always great in hackers, you know. Oh yeah, it's great in hackers. It's great in screaming.

Congrats everybody. And just because you saw that video doesn't mean you can talk like a black person, okay? Especially like that.

What if you had a Kangle hat? That's when the cannibalism started. LAUGH YOU [ __ ] PIGS.

DANG.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026"?

Ian (Guest), Henry (Guest), Kelsey (Guest), Rob (Guest), April (Guest), Eric (Guest), Holden (Guest), Hugh (implied general tone) (Guest).

What is "STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026" about?

A chaotic, humor-driven discussion blends pop culture references, streaming banter, and ongoing project updates, punctuated by running jokes and rapid shifts in topic. It touches on upcoming releases, staff culture, and recurring segments like “Boys of the Month” while weaving in derisive humor and in-jokes.

What is mentioned in this Last Podcast On The Left episode?

28 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Michael Jackson, Axel Henry, Mecca Jackson, Dan Levy, Janis Ian, Sophia Rob. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "STAFF PICKS 23 /// Last Stream on The Left /// February 24th, 2026"?

The episode runs 1 h 10 min; the transcript is about 13,470 words in 484 timestamped sections.

More from Last Podcast On The Left

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated October 29, 2026.