Transcript

Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag

From Lovett or Leave It · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 56 min · 12,225 words · 242 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag", an episode of Lovett or Leave It published February 14, 2026 (56 min, about 12,225 words). It mentions 13 people, works and ideas, including Nancy Mace, Zaran Mandani, Doug Bergam, New York Magazine, Parks and Recreation.

What this episode is about

The discussion centers around the complexities of expressing love and emotional expectations during Valentine's Day, highlighting the pressures and potential manipulation involved in romantic gestures. The conversation also touches on lighter topics related to significant stories that have previously gone unnoticed and includes engaging questions from the audience.

Key takeaways

  • Valentine's Day: emotional manipulation disguised as romantic obligation; perfect for those who thrive on guilt trips.
  • Gracie Mansion's bidet controversy reveals America's awkward relationship with bathroom hygiene; who knew toilets could be so divisive?
  • Corporations don't need to conspire on Valentine's; societal pressures sell love better than any marketing campaign ever could.
  • Water guns as bidet substitutes: proof that sometimes government solutions are just as ridiculous as they are helpful.
  • Who needs friends when you've got friendly colleagues? Valentine's Day might just be a struggle for the perpetually single.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Zaran Mandani, Parks and Recreation, ABC News7
  2. – 10:00: Rudy Giuliani, Doug Bergam, Caroline Rose
  3. – 15:00: Doug Bergam, Guardian
  4. – 20:00: Built, New York Magazine, Nancy Mace
  5. – 35:00: BetterHelp, Ziotics
  6. – 50:00: Sundays for Dogs

Notable quotes from "Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag"

  • And I hope that Zoran Mandani, as he is on so many issues, is sort of providing an opening to imagine a better future in which America finally and fully embraces the fact that dry toilet paper is.
    about Zaran Mandani · at
  • Tweet last month. If we could if we could see the photo of that tweet. So this is Interior Secretary Doug Bergam who posted this obviously AI generated photo of himself with Coley who is an adorable lump of coal wearing mining gear I guess.
    about Doug Bergam · at
  • Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com/loit.
    about Built · at
  • Well, mine is maybe a little bit more of a downer than these other two. And that is, of course, there was a profile of Nancy Mace in New York Magazine this week, the title of which is Nancy Mace is not okay. And then the.
    about New York Magazine · at
  • Yeah she can say whatever she wants So, she's very smart and that's the other thing. It's like she's an incredibly smart person. It's just that her intelligence is sort of…
    about Nancy Mace · at
  • BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their 12 plus years of.
    about BetterHelp · at
  • You have some Zbiotics. Then you have a drink or two. You feel better the next day. It's real. Ready to try it? Go to zbiotics.com/loit right now. You'll get 15% off your first…
    about Ziotics · at
  • So that's why you want to have good food for your dog like Sundays for dogs. So make the switch to Sundays. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com/loit50 and get 50% off your first order or you can use code loveit50 at checkout.
    about Sundays for Dogs · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Nancy Mace — Person · Referenced political figure / profile subject · 1 mention · first at
    Discussed via a New York Magazine profile portraying turmoil in her office, public incidents, and her political trajectory in South Carolina.
  • Zaran Mandani — Person · Referenced public official (NYC mayor) / comedic news hook · 2 mentions · first at
    Used as the lead-off news story: a bidet-related mini-controversy tied to Gracie Mansion renovations and broader commentary on U.S. bathroom norms.
  • Doug Bergam — Person · Referenced government official (tweet source) · 2 mentions · first at
    Cited as the official who posted an AI-generated image introducing 'Coley' as a coal mascot; used to discuss pro-coal messaging and propaganda aesthetics.
  • Rudy Giuliani — Person · Referenced political figure (comparison/aside) · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in connection with his daughter’s comment about bidets; used as a punchline about being 'not ahead of his time.'
    I think he would reject it. I think he would not be able to engage with Yeah, it's sort of gay somehow.
  • Caroline Rose — Person · Referenced commenter (Giuliani family connection) · 1 mention · first at
    Identified as Rudy Giuliani’s daughter who commented (per the show) that she would have installed a bidet if she’d known about them while living at Gracie Mansion.
    Actually, Rudy Giuliani's daughter, Caroline Rose, commented that in according to the times that she would have done it myself if she had known about beday when she lived there. Does not surprise me that Rudy Giuliani was.

Companies & orgs

  • New York Magazine — Company · Referenced company · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the publisher of a profile on Nancy Mace.
  • ABC News7 — Company · Referenced company · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the local affiliate that interviewed the mayor of New York.
    And he then did a sitdown interview more recently with ABC News7. That's the local affiliate ABC7 that I used to watch growing up. And when he elaborated, he said he was looking to.
  • Guardian — Company · Referenced company · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the source of a quote about the impact of the coal industry.
    Why is Coley wearing Mickey Mouse style gloves? I did find a quote from Junior Walk who's an Appalachin activist who documents the impact of the coal industry in West Virginia who told the Guardian as climate change plunges us.

Media & podcasts

  • Parks and Recreation — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of discussing Valentine's Day and corporate influence.
    If that's what they're doing, they don't need to. The corporations do not need to have to put money behind that. I think it's from an episode of Parks and Beck. So, the corporations at I guess hypothetically NBC could be behind it.

Sponsors

  • Sundays for Dogs — Product · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at
    Promoted as a premium dog food brand focusing on clean, nutrient-rich ingredients.
  • Built — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Promoted as a loyalty program for renters that rewards points for rent payments.
  • BetterHelp — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Promoted as a therapy service providing support for personal connections and Valentine's Day related feelings.
  • Ziotics — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Promoted as a probiotic drink designed to tackle rough mornings after drinking.

Full transcript with timestamps

anyone saying I love you proposing I think it's good to have like the really heavy stuff on Valentine's Day because then it's like almost a day where you have to do this

and then he feels guilty because it is Valentine's Day so he has to say it back

yeah that's another great option emotional manipulation I can do it till he makes it

I feel like I have both been in your car Kennedy's where you are making a left-hand turn across four lanes of traffic and you're like wow how'd this happen I'm like what are you talking about you know where the lights are

the show has already begun. Hi, [ __ ] Welcome to a very special Love It or Leave It episode. As you listen to this, uh me and the Pod Save America crew, we're on our twoe Australia, New Zealand tour, but we didn't want to dig you all dirty by leaving you with nothing to listen to. So, I'm sitting here with two of my favorite flat whites for a bit of mailbag mailbag. For a bit of mailbag.

Great. Uh what are our names? Oh, that's right. It's Kefir. Hi. And Sarah Lazarus.

Hello. Love it or Leave it is only one podcast and with the amount of news we are trying to cover, we can't get to it all. So, for today's episode, we wanted to take you through some of our uh favorite stories that we didn't feel like we gave enough attention to uh on the show before we get to uh some uh interesting questions and topics from Friends of the Pod in the Discord around Valentine's Day because this show is coming on Valentine's Day.

Yeah. Uh how romantic. How romantic. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day.

Just missed it. Valentine's Day. I do celebrate Valentine's Day with the girls. It's important.

Do you believe that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy against men by corporations trying to convince women that they don't need a relationship to be happy?

I don't think the corporations if they if that's what they're doing, they don't need to. The corporations do not need to have to put money behind that. I think it's from um an episode of Parks and Beck. So, the corporations at

I guess hypothetically NBC could be behind it. Big Amy Polar. Yeah. Oh, that's where it's from. Valentine's Day. I didn't know that.

Yeah, they going to get pancakes. I don't have any friends that are girls. Wow. Hurtful. But to be fair, you don't have any friends that are

friendly colleagues. Some friendly colleagues, that's for sure. And that's true. If you don't have any friends, then you don't have any friends of either gender. So, it's fair.

That's right. But first, the news. All right. Here's a story I want to talk about. All right. when uh Zoran Mandani, you know him, uh became mayor of New York.

Love him. Uh he mentioned that uh he wanted to update Gracie Mansion to have Beday

obsessed bed. And this caused a little bit of a mini controversy about Beday. And he then did a sitdown interview more recently with ABC News7. That's the local affiliate ABC7 that I used to watch growing up. And when he elaborated, he uh said he was looking to add water guns on the side of the toilet. Uh kind of a cheap addition, like a $25 edition uh to make the toilets have bedetday like features.

So it's like, no, no, don't worry. I want terrible beds. Right. Right. And I I I appreciate that.

No, no, don't worry. Don't worry. It'll be the worst bet. So I Yeah. So first be worse than not having a bedet.

Yeah. Two bedets. See, I do think that's like there's a it's a so there's many styles of debate debates.

There's the kind of full-on yeah lay about for us bedday to the side of the toilet.

Uh I learned through my research that that word means pony because you pony because you the way you sit on it.

Oh, interesting. Okay. Uh because you sit on it kind of like a saddle or you wash out your

We all We've all used the bathroom on top of a horse. Ponies. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We've all sat on ponies. Sarah's a horse girl. Then there's the Toto Japanese style,

right? Like the full toilet. The full toilet. That's That's what I want for them.

Then there's the kind of basin. There's the basin style where there's a a kind of a a a water to the side of the toilet that you can use to pour. Um, and then this is the water gun style that I kind of associate with that style as well. But

there's also the things you can add to toilets. you can just add a small attachment to the toilet to turn your toilet into a bedet.

And I hope that Zoran Mandani, as he is on so many issues, is sort of providing an opening to imagine a better future in which America finally and fully embraces the fact that dry toilet paper is perhaps not the best way to go about dealing with the grossest thing that we deal with on a daily basis.

You know what I mean? depending on where there's a lot of variables and so it's nice to have something else to help you with it. I will say and maybe this was a concern in the Gracie mansion as a historical building that I've seen at least two Tik Toks where people talk about installing a bedet to the toilet in their apartment and basically breaking all the plumbing in the building because it turns out there was something there's some setup where you cannot do that. They did not ask permission and they of course have to explain I did break all the toilets.

Yes. I'm so sorry. So that'd be a great first mural scandal. you know, break all of New York City's plumbing.

Trump's in the Epstein files and it's like, we're mad at him because he got the the beds are either too nice or too cheap.

Yeah, just right. You got to get just right day. I have a feeling that anyone who's actually mad at him about this might have started mad about this already. Actually, Rudy Giuliani's daughter, Caroline Rose, commented uh that in according to the times that she would have done it myself if she had known about beday when she lived there. Does not surprise me that Rudy Giuliani was not

no ahead of his time. I think he would reject it. I think he would not be able to engage with

Yeah, it's sort of gay somehow. It would be gay. I wonder when Rudy Giuliani's daughter first found out about beds, was this how she found out what a bedet is? the the I installed when I was renting, I installed uh one of those additional like kind of a bring your own bedet a bio bedet

a bio bedet to the top of the toilet. It so transformed my experience of being alive on earth.

Great. That I became obsessed with giving them as gifts. And it is an intimate gift,

but we're all [ __ ] because you Exactly. We are all [ __ ] and but you do have to ask people what kind of toilet they have

because I didn't understand this bill that that they're that that basically like some toilets are the kind of round kind and then some are kind of go more out

round. They're sort of like there's like the round bowl and then there's kind of the ovular kind of longer bowl, a long bowl and the short bowl depending on your toilet. And so you have to kind of know what kind of toilet your friend or family member has before you buy them this as a gift. So it takes the element of surprise. So you have to text them and say, "You ask me that."

And the thing about it is when you ask somebody what kind of toilet they have, they don't know. Like right now, do you know if you have a long toilet or a short toilet?

If you ask me what kind of toilet I had, I'd say, "Please don't talk to me outside of work."

And also, no, I have no idea. I also would not assume it's to get me a gift. I just It's just a question you have.

Hey, tell me about Sarah. Tell me about your toilet. I want to know what you guys talked to. loving about with toilet situation.

I need to ask you guys what kind of toilet you have at home here. I drew all the different kinds of toilets. Just point. I took all the work out of for you. Round, pointy, backwards.

I backwards. Hole in the ground. Hole above the ground. Hole in the roof. Horse.

Just attach the ceiling. This is make I will say this has made me want to get into bedet. I do not have one. However, I do live in like one of those like hundred-y old LA bungalows where our pipes are constantly breaking and I know if I got one, it would break and then all my neighbors would bl they would know.

It was like look, I don't know. I don't do much plumbing. It was intense in setting up the thing and I thought I had maybe done it wrong, but then oh boy, I got it right.

Really? In my building, my neighbors uh we share a bathroom wall and they they had a clog in their sink and so they had a plumber come to snake it and the snake came up through my sink. Oh no. That's a frightening.

That's where I live. Did you How and there's you because you when I when the snake comes up through the wrong pipe, it's like you want to tell the snake,

but you can't tell the snake. You have to find the person at the other side. I mean, I guess the I guess like if given that there is a person on the other side, it's not a great option, but you could just grab it and try to send a message through it. Sure.

I don't think you do that gesture of Mary. Did you do that? Did you grab the snake?

No, I texted my landlord. texted your landlord, but that's got to go to the landlord.

He's responsive. Oh, he was responsive. And then it has to get to the plumber, whoever's doing the snaking.

Yeah. It's a dangerous time when the snake's in your apartment. For a second, did you see it and think that it might actually be a real snake?

No. Okay. Well, few I could I could tell it was metal. A metal snake. I mean, well, good. I'm glad. Anyway, good for Mayor Zoran Mamani for encouraging people to embrace what a lot of the rest of the world had figured out a long time ago, which is you should get it a little bit wet.

Yeah. You know, when trying to deal with the thing we all do, get a little wet.

And maybe we got to talk about it. Maybe we got to talk about it. I think we're doing the right thing

because the the the adoption rate is still very low here in the US. Get one for the office. We should get one for the office.

Just one though. Just one. And it's in the conference room. All right, that's and that is Zoron Vanamani and the

Hey, we did it. Hooray. I'm excited about the next topic. Yeah. Um, I would like to talk about the Trump administration's new mascot, Coley,

who we learned about from a Doug Bergam tweet last month. If we could if we could see the photo of that tweet. So this is Interior Secretary Doug Bergam who posted this obviously AI generated photo of himself with Coley who is an adorable lump of coal wearing mining gear I guess

it's so funny and his tweet says mine may be mine pus made it a top priority for interior to unleash beautiful clean coal and OSMR is leading the charge learn more about how OSMR is advancing POS's American energy dominance agenda from their new spokesperson Coley This is wild.

It's sort of like the M&M's where it's like our pleasure like our like our happiness will come from Coley's demise.

Yes. Like Coley's excited to be incinerated to create power and you want to [ __ ] that Cole.

Oh, you mean the sexy green Eminem? Yeah. I I want to have sex with her. Coley feels too childlike.

Yeah, Coley's a baby. Coley's not even wearing high heels. So, Right. Yeah, I agree. One thing I learned. So this agency that they mention I'm just gonna we got to keep we got to go right past going. We can't keep talking about Kohi.

So this agency is the office of surface mining reclamation and enforcement. It is a very obscure bureau that handles like regulating coal mines and cleaning up polluted old mining land. Um, Kohley has been like an inside joke at this bureau since 2018 when their social media manager created this photo of a lump of coal wearing googly eyes. Um, and it has since had a few evolutions. But it's become this mascot at this bureau to sort of try to explain what they do because no one knows about them. And it has now been co-opted by the Trump administration to make us love coal.

Yeah. Uh, do you remember there was a the the Simpsons episode where he discovers his face is on a Japanese box and it turns out it's the spokes it's the kind of spokes spokes creature for some sort of behemoth conglomerate.

So it was like a a cleaning cleaning product and then a fishery. Yes. Yes. And then it fused together to make Homer's head.

Yeah. It reminds me a little bit of that like and also it is just a 30 Rock joke. kind of living in the kind of whatever consciousness of that show somehow.

And I know this isn't the point of it, but I do like the first Kohi better where it looks like an actual piece of

the first Kohi was perfect. It's only got worse. Also, the Coley that Doug Bergam tweeted looks different from the most recent Kohi. Like that is just his AI version.

AI is you literally can't do the same one. Like it would require them to like take the image and then actually do something with it and they're like we're not going to do that. The other thing I want to note is that according to the Washingtonian, in-house animators also plan to bring Coley to life, making him dance, ride around on trucks, and potentially perform a signature song.

Wow, that's something to look forward to. Yeah, what a bleak what a bleak time we're living through.

Who do you think Coley should do the song with? Nicki Minaj, probably. Yes, 100%. Yes.

I mean, the line is the list of names is pretty short. You have Nicki Minaj, who could rock, but I do think Nicki Minaj would be great.

You're absolutely right. Um, so the coal mines for itself. This is this is a lump of coal wearing a headlamp and a and a vest.

Sort of advocating for his kind to be burned in our cars. Yeah. Right. Well, it's interesting because it's not it's a piece of harvest. It's a lump of coal that's been removed from underground. And so what is koli? So So if you had a bigger chunk,

is that one big koli or? And then but if you broke it in half, would it become two kies? How many lumps before you have how small does a lump have to be before it is a kohi? When did his consciousness emerge or her consciousness or their consciousness?

Thank you. When did Coley's consciousness emerge? Does it emerge upon becoming a lump?

When they put the eyes on. When they put the eyes on. Yeah. When they put the eyes on determines whenever you put the eyes on that's kohi.

So in your So here what you're saying is there is coal. Yeah. And you if kohi becomes sensient when the eyes are applied. What does what is the experience of Kohley like? Does Kohley because Kohley has language? Kohley has interests and desires. Are those surprising to Kohley? What memories can can Coley root its its hopes in because it just came to be when the eyes were there?

Yeah. I mean, it seems like there might be some kind of collective memory, a sense memory of being Cole.

I think Coley can only feel shame. Coley see Coley seeks Coley's own death. I feel like Coley has a big smile on their face.

What is it hiding? You know what is he making up for? Yeah. A lot to think about with Coley.

I like the second one, too. Why is Coley wearing Mickey Mouse style gloves? I did find a quote from um Junior Walk who's an Appalachin activist who documents the impact of the coal industry in West Virginia who told the Guardian uh as climate change plunges us deeper into the mass extinction extinction event that we are all living through and more of my friends and neighbors get sick and die as a direct result of the activities in the coal industry. I will continue to be haunted by Coley's twisted grin and uncanny eyes.

Kind of a downer that got kind of not really embracing the Coley spirit. Not into it. Yeah,

that's how I feel about it. And that's Coley. Yay. Great. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Built. It's 2026 and if you're still paying rent without Built, it's time for a change. Built is a loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest monthly expense, the rent. With Built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used toward flights, hotels, lift rides, Amazon.com purchases, and so much more. And here's something to get excited about. Now, Built members can earn points on mortgage payments for the first time.

That means you can get rewarded wherever you live and unlock exclusive benefits from more than 45,000 restaurants, fitness studios,armacies, and other neighborhood partners. I'd redeem my points for personally for a fitness class. You can go to berries. You can go to bar class, a pure bar. I've never done bar classes, but somebody here at the office was saying I should give it a shot. I think it's a lot of squats on your toes, and I'm interested in seeing what that's like. You can get uh home delivery through Go Puff. You can get Amazon. You can get Lift Ride. So, there's a lot you can do and it's simple. Paying rent is better with built. And now owning a home can be better with built, too. Earn rewards and get something back wherever you live.

Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com/loit. That's join nb i lt.com/loit. Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. Love it or leave it. Brought to you by Quint. A well-built wardrobe is about clothes that work together and hold up over time. It said pieces there, dear listener. And I'm not saying pieces anymore for clothes cuz I want you to know that I don't talk that way. And so you can know this ad is real because Quinc is great. They make clothes. They call them pieces. We call them clothes.

Premium materials, thoughtful design, everyday staples that feel easy to wear and easy to rely on even as the weather shifts. Quint has everyday essentials. I genuinely love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters. I have one. Great polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. I have the sheets. The sheets are great. got a lot of great stuff from Quint. Everything is built to hold up to daily wear and still look good season after season. Plus, they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. And because they work with top factories, they cut out the middlemen, so you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing.

Again, I'm a huge fan of Quint. Go to quint.com/loit for free shipping on your order and 365day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's quinc.com/loit. free shipping and 365day returns. quint.com/lovit.

Um well, mine is maybe a little bit more of a downer than these other two. And that is, of course, there was a um a uh profile of Nancy Mace in um New York Magazine this week, the title of which is Nancy Mace is not okay. And then the lead is a quote from one of the staffers, all anonymous, something's broken, the motherboard's fried, we're shortcircuiting somewhere. And it's just sort of a breakdown of well her breakdown and I would describe her as if Norma Desmond was a congresswoman. And it is interesting there sort of like a you see it is like a white conservative woman's breakdown. You know what I mean?

I feel like we've had like I don't know you think of like John Federman, you know what I mean? Sort of had a similar article where it's like sort of like breaking down. So there's not really a ton of surprises in here. only the only surprise is things have gotten worse cuz like obviously she's had like last February 2025 which remember that was I mean like less than a month after Trump took office it was flood the zone she went onto the floor of uh Congress to accuse her ex- fiance of filming her assaulting her and he has since sued but technically speaking I presumably according to this profile what she's using is like technically because she's on the floor of Congress she's actually immune

from uh like the defamation suit yeah she she can say whatever she wants So, she's very smart and that's the other thing. It's like she's an incredibly smart person. It's just that her intelligence is sort of spiraling out. And then in October of this last year, she had sort of a meltdown at an airport where it was mostly her uh berating people and and sort of like uh accusing them of being terrible at their jobs at the airport. Um the

police she was accusing the police. Yes. Both the TSA and police. Um she has of course tried to say that it didn't happen. There's video of it happening. Um, and there's also a House Ethics Committee inquiry um, about her using her staff for her gumnatorial race in South Carolina where she is doing not very well. And I just want to read some of the staffing quotes. These are all anonymous. Again, there's something broken. Um, another quote back then she came across as a breath of fresh air and then I got into the office and after six months I was like, man, this is one of the worst people I've ever met. I'm going to move back to South Carolina. And then the third staffer, the closer you get to her, the harder she messes up your brain. It's the classic story of never meet your heroes.

Yeah. And they sort of out like outline what she's done. And I think uh they're all exactly what you think. Uh she had staffers running out to buy her liquor, clean her Airbnb, sort of do these tasks, sort of uh having a volatile workspace, flying into rages, threatening them, refusing to like give them raises and stuff. And then we get to the the thing that really just sat heavy on me, which again is not a surprise, but I just wanted to read this uh sort of more maybe more of the grim moments. So, this is a quote from New York Magazine. Quote, "She was obsessed with monitoring her reputation online.

In addition to reportedly having her staff create burner accounts to defend her, Mace allegedly instructed a staffer to go on Reddit forums about quote the hottest women in Congress to burst her to boost her standing in the rankings and comment where needed." Mace was quote very adamant about getting the staffer to upvote any posts about the congresswoman and her attractiveness.

That's like what you make us do. I was exactly I know. Look, we joke uh but obviously Nancy, if you want to create burner accounts and have your own standing upvoted on various forums. That's just work you have to do at home in the night that no one can know about.

Like obviously that's not something I could ask Callie or Sarah to do. Not at this point. Uh because uh I just I don't think that they could stop themselves from telling people how funny it is cuz it's so funny.

Yeah. So I don't try I can't have them do that. So I have that's the kind of thing hypothetically I would have to do myself.

I'd tell everyone in the world if you made us do that. That would have to be your 5 to9 after 9 to5. You would have to get home and then every night get on and just defend yourself. Open 500 laptops.

Yeah. That's why I'm always that's why I got these bags in. I'm just so tired from my second shift.

What are you doing? Um, and I basically I just want to talk about this because I feel like uh

I disagree. Tommy isn't my favorite. Love it. It's my favorite. I want to marry Love It. I don't want to I don't want to kill him of the of the three. I think I just want to talk I just wanted to The thing that really stuck out to me because also like she is someone who like is very smart like Trump where basically it's like she she basically has had a quota for her staff to like get her on TV appearances every month. She on January 6 had a quote talking to them where like she wanted to get punched in the face on camera to like get more attention. And I'm like that's actually very smart in like a Trump sort of way. And I think and I don't know this is sort of how I think about Chucker Carlson. It's like it seems like she was playing a character and now she has become the character.

And I think for conservatives like that is just sort of how what has to happen like in order to double down like she has become this like insane version of Nancy May. the the illusion of the performance, they've merged and now she kind of that's all she has. And what's interesting about her is that she actually has taken one good stand, which is she voted for the Epstein, the release of the Epstein files back in November, and that is probably why she's not going to get Trump's um endorsement for the governor's race, is that she has one shred of dignity or or integrity left. And that is what you can't have when you are trying to court Trump.

Yeah. there the you know the uh vonagget line is uh you are what you pretend to be so you should be very careful about what you pretend to be uh

yeah I it's kind of dances around whether or not she has a DSM style mental illness you could look up in a book or if she's just like sort of like the the Nancy May's discourse is like she's you know is she small C crazy

like the way we say that women are crazy sometimes while also being a bad person or is there a kind of like whispered mental illness that they seem to be implying or suggesting or rumoring about all the time? And here's my here's my psycho p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p c p cycle analysis of Nancy Nice which is that this unfortunately we are at a point in society where I think being a a powerful white conservative woman it might as well look like a mental illness like she has achieved a level of power but she doesn't actually have power in her own life again the ex- fiance she doesn't really have power like she can't really run herself as a candidate without Trump and it's interesting because I feel like she is perhaps more than anyone in Congress and it continues to be now so insanely transphobic. And to me, that is like a point that a lot of white cis conservative women arrive

at that I think is almost like it's the trans women specifically, but trans people, but like trans women specifically. It's almost like they're the group that you perceive as a threat when in reality they're like one of the groups that like are the only people that have less power than you. And I think like being in this powerful position, but yet she can't actually control these things. It's almost like she relentlessly has to take on Sarah McBride which she is constantly saying horrible things about. She passed like the congressional bathroom that like bill and was like this is specifically about Sarah McBride. And so I think unfortunately it's like I think it's like a lot of people like who are trying to describe like why am why are my parents like this or like there's like a conservative like behavior. It's like she's become sort of like separated from reality in a way that I think a lot of

conservatives it kind of just leads you down this path. I don't know what to do about it. Like I don't know. So, it's just like interesting how all these things the having someone try to like constantly defend her hotness seems like a very important point that I don't know. I don't think it's a mental illness in a traditional sense. I think it's like a cultural illness and she's sort of on the top of it and is still sort of trapped by all these limitations being a woman probably. I mean, I I believe that something horrible has happened to her in her personal life and now it's just sort of like exploding out on people around her.

Yeah. Sorry. Less fun than Coley. I I just I there's something about it that really I don't know. It was interesting.

Yeah. The other part of it too is like I I remember like can't remember what what the exact circumstances were but there was somebody I was actually working with them and they were really smart um but they just would like get in their own way all the time

and uh it was in politics and I remember like somebody we all worked for at the time made a comment just almost as an aside which is like people's um insecurities will beat their intelligence every time. And I do think with someone like this too, there's like so much am there's there's a lot of whatever anxieties and but ambition in there. And I do think like yeah, she is a smart person, but she's not behaving like a smart person would. Like obviously it is not in your interest as a political figure in South Carolina to berate the law enforcement that are escorting you to your gate because you got angry that they didn't know you were not in the car you said you'd be in.

Like it's a crazy thing to do. Um, but she clearly like sort of out of offkilter and kind of like losing losing losing touch with reality because you're a member of Congress and there's always a car waiting and a person waiting and a a person who's like excited to kind of do your bidding. Sort of that's also brainbreaking to for all these members of Congress.

It's sort of like I always say people always talk about like oh if I was a billionaire you would never see me again. I would just go live on an island. It's like no no if you were a billionaire you would go insane in the ways that you were insane now. Imagine you now and then you get a billion dollars. Unless you really resolve your stuff, you will end up doing what it not that it's all the same thing. Like I don't think you're going to necessarily build build an island like Epstein, but like something happens where you get to a level of power and money. If you don't deal with it, it comes out in whatever way looks like you.

Something I think about a lot is what is the dollar amount that would make me go insane. I it would have to it's going to be a lot for you,

but like there is some there's some there's some dollar amount that is fine still and then like $5 more and it's overillion dollar you go insane.

It's interest like I I think you're right. Like there are a lot of billionaires or hyperw wealthy people who do disappear. They're the people that inherited the money. The people that inherited the money often are very comfortable just being super rich and staying out of the spotlight. There are a lot of them. Some of them are in the Epstein files. uh their their wealth is more invisible. They stay they're not on Twitter. They're not trying to be famous. They are enjoying their money on the places on the islands that that you can't go to unless you are super rich.

The to me the the the the ones we keep hearing about that are that are it's whatever drove them Yeah.

to be so hyper ambitious, intense, uh cutthroat to become billionaires. Not just to be smart, inventive, creative, very talented people, but to become to fight to get that amount of wealth. Whatever made them like that, the money doesn't stop that part of their brain. But now everything is taken care of for them. They have they have no friction in their life. But these are people that desperately want friction. Like look at Elon Musk. Like he has everything he could possibly want. He's eliminated all friction from his life. And so he becomes a [ __ ] Twitter troll, white nationalist, internet freak. Why?

Because like that that broken part of him. If he's if he's if things are still, he doesn't feel safe. And I do think like that's why you see these sort of people careening around and getting involved in politics and funding stupid fake universities in Austin and all the other things. It's like there's that broken piece of them that led them to be so ambitious and they've got to put it somewhere.

Yeah. Um let's all work on self-awareness in 2026. So, I feel like that's a good goal for everyone.

I think we should I think at this table our goal should be less self-awareness.

Yeah, I was going to say I think the three of us actually could just kind of kind of kind of drive forward with a little bit more obtuseness

to be 10% stupider in 2026. I'm too smart. I can't do it you guys. Ah, damn it.

Sorry. We'll be so happy surfing. All right. And Nancy's article in the intelligence.

Up next, we're going to get into your deepest, darkest Discord comments. But first, heads up. East Coast. Love it or leave it is coming to Washington DC on April 23rd. We're back at the Lincoln Theater. There only two signs of spring in Washington. The Cherry Blossoms and Love It or Leave It coming to town with a stack lineup on America's number one late night political gay live comedy podcast. Also, Janine Piro switching to rosé. That's another sign of spring. Tickets are on sale now. Go to crooked.com/events. I always love our DC shows. Some of my favorite shows when we come to town for this this show now. It's a yearly It's a yearly event.

We'll be right back. This episode is sponsored by BetterHel. Even though February is often filled with constant reminders of romance, navigating your personal connections isn't always simple, is it? It's okay if you're feeling a bit lost. Regardless of your relationship status, therapy provides a space to cut through the noise, helping you find your balance and gain some much needed perspective. In other words, it's a place where you can crash out. That's right.

Because you're alone on Valentine's Day. Or maybe because you're not alone and wish you were. or maybe because you're not sure what you want. Better Help's quality therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their 12 plus years of experience in industryleading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored Rex. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHel is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally.

And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of five for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/loit. That's betterh elp.com/loit. Love it or leave it. Brought to you by Ziotics. Let's face it, after a night with drinks, I don't bounce back the next day like I used to. I don't really even bounce. So dead cat bounce.

Yeah. I have to make a choice. Can either have a great night or a great next day. That is until I found pre-alcohol Ziotics. Pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration. That's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre-alcohol produces an enzyme to break down this byproduct. Just remember to make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. We love Zubatics.

Love it. Huge fans. Always use it. Helps the next day. You have one drink. You have some Zbiotics. Then you have a drink or two. You feel better the next day. It's real. Ready to try it? Go to zbiotics.com/loit right now. You'll get 15% off your first order when you use code love it at checkout. Plus, it's backed by a 100% money back guarantee, so there's no risk. Subscriptions are also available for maximum consistency. Remember to head to ziotics.com/loit and use code loveit at checkout for 15% off. And we're back. All right, love birds. Now, Hie is going to guide us through our romantic Valentine's Day Discord omocas with complimentary wine pairing, wine pairing, and yes, that was wine with an H. Howie, take it away.

It's that time of year again. Time to fall in love with our Discord subscribers and their complicated, sweet, and somewhat bizarre love lives. Girl, same. First up, now I'm going to tell this story, but to me, this is just an HR violation that Bill has found.

Oh, also, we've we've sort of anonymized some of the details. I work at a factory that makes parts for a car brand. My senior team leader has been trying to hook up with another team member and sent her videos of him, you know. Anyway, once they did the deed, he ghosted her to get back with his ex. So

what this to me I'm like, you have to tell someone about this. Um, so again, I this seems to be that this person who seems to be a a senior team leader

sent Fiddles I'm presuming jacking off to to meet to to hook up with a co-orker. Unfortunately, it worked, which boy, I mean, we've all been down bad, but that's tough to to read. And then he immediately ghosts her to get back with her with his ex.

First of all, I I just I can't believe what the word, you know, is doing there. We don't know. I don't know. I genuinely don't know.

We know. You think that's what it is? Why you assume it's You assume 12 years old.

Could be videos. Oh, it's videos, not just Oh, wait. Said or videos of him. You know,

it's an action. It's a verb. It's an action. What do you think it could be if it's not jerking up?

Yeah. I mean, I went through the same thought process of like, what does that mean? And then I guess this is the only thing it could mean.

Come on. I don't know. It worked. Well, okay, it worked, but also to me the level of like heavy despair that must hang over this car brand factory.

Like this is like it just imagine your friend telling you this. You're like, girl, what are you talking about? So, and the question that Bill's writing is, what's the laziest flirt? It seems like he's doing quite a bit of activity in this flirt. So, I don't know.

I mean, that's it. That's a lot of things. He doesn't seem lazy. Yeah, to set up a camera angle. Um, this is from Constant Cupcake. My husband worked at a school where the security guard had given multiple employees, including the principal, the clap.

Wow. The clap. Like it's the 50s. We're calling it the clap. The clap. That's Look, that's a security guard with a lot of wrists. That's cool.

Imagine if on patrol. I guess I just don't understand. And like maybe again I haven't I haven't been out there in a minute, but like you're having unprotected sex at work with the security guard or anybody here.

Well, we don't know if they had sex at the school. Well, no, that wasn't my point. The point is like they've all retracted. What is clap? Is that chlamydia?

Yeah. So, you're all raw dogging the one person at school. Well, you know, I guess God bless. I don't I guess it wasn't really a question. Um uh All right. Well, go to the next one.

Wait, we're not Well, the questions were, what's the laziest flirt you've ever done? I'm not that I I that has nothing to do with this. Does it count as ghosting if you see each other every day at work? What do you guys think?

See, my biggest question about this is why would that video work, right? I think that that's why this is sad to me. It's like cuz that whoever received it is down like they're like I guess like it's not a joyful moment when you receive that from your coworker. You say I don't have any other options.

Call the police. I have to call the police. That's like this is not fun. This is just an HR violation. And I just want to say cuz uh I would just like to say as someone who uh

where are we going with this? Very delicately and ethically. What are you talking about?

And respectfully. No, you already said ethically approached even the possibility of dating someone that I work with.

Mhm. Okay. Where did you think I was going? No, we were all horrifying. We're both gonna be at my [ __ ] wedding.

Okay. And you know, well, you know, you know what I mean? No. Yeah. That's the thing is like this is not this is a bummer. Discord, I'm sorry. This is

This is a bummer. Discord. How I like this is an inconceiv what a swing to send that video is all I'm getting at.

Well, I guess I guess I can only imagine the workplace environment at this factory, which again I think you have to talk to the union about the situation. Um,

yeah, yeah, talk to your reps. Yeah, talk to your reps. Talk to your reps. Get in here.

All right, here we go. Here we go. Here's another comment. Comment from Anonymous. All right. Shout out to Anonymous. I tried to hard launch my seven-yearong situationship. Now we're no contact, and I'm a 30-year-old woman who's never had a real boyfriend. Help, I guess. Um, I have great news. This is actually good because clearly you needed to be out of the situationship. So, it's good. You You made a decision. You said, "Can we presumably hard launch? I want really want people to know that we're dating. This is a real relationship. This person not only dumped your ass, but you went no contact." And it's good. 30, don't worry. My my as somebody over 40, you got plenty of time.

And I don't know what help to give this person. Maybe you guys have ideas, but you're starting from a great place, which is you've ended this seven-year long situationship, and now you get to sort of look for something else.

Yeah. I don't think you're a person until you're 30. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Your 20s is a wash for everybody. the the you tried to hard launch a situationship. It's it's a lot of there's a lot of um missing context inside of that uh uh slang

which is you don't hard launch situationships. You hard launch relationships after they stop being a situationship. You have a situationship, it becomes a relationship,

then you launch it either softly. Yes. Or hardly. Yeah. Hardly. Weird though hardly doesn't mean hardly. never thought about that.

Write it down, Bill. But that so it doesn't surprise me that that ended in a no contact situation.

I assume she means tried to make it official. Yeah. In my mind, like a hard launch is like you posted about it to social maybe or perhaps issue some sort of ultimatum like maybe there's an event and it's like this is my boyfriend and that sort of caused this.

Um and so I think again this is this might seem catastrophic right now. this is actually going to turn out to be the best thing that possibly could have happened because you did something which I agree. You don't hard launch something unless you're already on the same page. This situationship after damn near a decade, it wasn't going to ever get to the place of a real hard launch.

Yeah, I'm c I have a lot of questions about what your friends were saying during this seven-year period. Was it the best you could get from this situation that you wanted to be a relationship for a longer period of time? Were you afraid to be alone? What was going on over seven years? Get out there. Get out there. You know,

dating after 30, I think, is way also way better. I think like there's just there's some level of maturity. And if you're not looking for a situationship, there's people who are not looking for that as well. But maybe take some time for yourself. This is from Bass Prefect. Can we at least get some validation for the a-romantic and asexual of those of us who are happy to be single and are content with our friendships? This speaks to my larger uh premise about Valentine's Day, which is that all of February should be about Valentine's Day and it should be a celebration of all different kinds of love. I know you say you're a-romantic, but say love for our friends and we could have sort of Valentine's Day tree or there could be some sort of like different different ceremonies. So, I think this is a these are definitely forms of love or a rejection of love in however you would describe it. Um, so I will validate you

in that. And also I do celebrate you because if you accept that you're a-romantic and asexual, boy, that just sounds like you a lot lot more free time. You just relax. That sounds nice.

Yeah. I also it's what is the val if you're happy in your circumstance, why do you need the validation? Like I think like if if you there's some sort of insecurity inside of this if you need to be told that you're what you're doing is okay. Like if

and for that reason we won't do it. Well, I do think the world has validates. Yeah. I imagine there's a lot of pressure to be like not only should you be coupled, but if you're someone for whom that like none of that makes any sense. It's this overwhelming feeling where you do need validation. So, I'm happy to validate you.

Yeah, I you know what, you're right. I take I I've thought about it and I've received the the underlying message of Sarah's joke and I agree. You should be validated. You should feel validated. I guess it just sort of also there are a lot of people that really are like want to be in couples and are not and I don't I think sometimes that gets also like people are told that they're wrong for having the feeling of being sad that they're single and that's they need to be comfortable with that. It's like maybe sure but I don't think there's anything wrong with people who really want to be in relationships being upset they're not in one.

Yeah. I think there is a level of dismissiveness whenever people try to describe their internal experience. They're like, and other people were like, "Don't worry about that." And it's like, "But yet, I am worrying about it. It's Valentine's Day and that's how I feel."

Yeah. Your feelings are valid, whatever they are. Yes. Yeah. All right. Next up,

that's right. Comment from Vanna White trash. Great name. Real Valentine's Day issue. I'm seeing the finally um I'm seeing a nice man and we like each other a lot and we're at that weird point where we're like, "Someone needs to drop the Lbomb first, aka I say I love you. How do I make him do it first?"

LOL. LOL. Um, what do you guys think? I mean, the most important thing is to never be vulnerable and

uh win at all costs. Did uh for in your relationships, did you guys say I love you first or did the other person?

I did not say first. Would you have because I'm a winner? Great. Well, um, yeah, I would have if you hadn't. I honestly don't remember, but it was in part because like we had had a friendship where there was love,

but it wasn't that kind of love for a time. So, I don't really know. It sort of was more of a smooth evolution

cuz it wasn't like So, I still haven't said it or haven't said you're going to say it on the altar.

Saying it on the altar for the first time. I'm like, I love spending time with you.

Yeah. Yeah. Couch it. Yeah. Keep them on their toes. Yeah. I think say it first, babe. Say it first. Say it first. Say it first. Say it first. Letter it first. Say it. Say it first. I want to do a different channel.

Sorry. I'll go on board. Say it first. Say it first. Say it first. Say Cuz here's the thing. You say it first.

It all falls apart. No. So, you have the only reason to not say it first is if there's a possibility that saying it first turns what could be a relationship that will go the distance into one that won't. You have to that's the only reason to not say it first. Because if you say it first and they're not ready yet, that's real information. But if the relationship continues and they ultimately say it, no problem. You felt weird, but you moved things along. You say it, they say it, we're doing great. You say it, they don't say it, they realize that you aren't that you're feeling things they're not. it ends it where it where it should have already ended. You're kind of saving yourself some time. So, you have to come up with a version in which you are on the path to a lifelong happiness, but you saying this too soon, even though this should be your person blows it up somehow. And I just find that to be an unlikely

circumstance. I just if they're the right person, they're the right person. Right. Exactly. It's uh I think this question of when to say it sits heavy on everybody's soul. And I do think it's gendered. I think like as a woman there is this idea that you should the man should always say it first like the effluane lyric I only want want him if he says it first to me and I think that we in order to have real love you must take a risk and again it might blow up in your face but that's why you got to do it on Valentine's Day if anyone is saying I love you proposing I think it's good to have like the really heavy stuff on Valentine's Day because then it's like almost a day where you have to do this

and then he feels guilty because it was Valentine's Day so he has to say it back.

Yeah, that's another great option. emotional manipulation. That's how I do it. Get him to fake it till he makes it.

All right. Great. Some questions about love it relationship. Uh coming up next,

comment from a user. Um I would love to know from love it as someone who did the long term but also knew so quickly with Ari. How do you know that you're with the one? Also, that's for you Les. Do you do you also think that you are with the one?

I don't think I believe in the one as a concept. I think it's a little silly. Uh I don't know if you have to believe in the one, but I I think you can take the question as meaning how did you know you were with a one that could be the one

the one that you're going to spend you uh perhaps not all of your life but for the foreseeable future together.

Yeah. Again, I don't know if there's a a particular moment someone an accumulation of moments.

That is a very good question. I have no idea. Uh, I will just say that, you know, sometimes we talk about relationships and what they are separate from how we are and how we're all changing. And I think that I uh was at a place in my life where it was possible for me to realize that this was the right person and to have that person be able to realize that I could be the person for them because of how I'd changed and grown. And I think sometimes it's not about the one like we were saying. It's more like uh can two people be in the right places in their own lives? Uh and like be who the other person needs? And that to me is a lot of what it's about.

I feel like one good rule of thumb is um one time we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and I had half a weed gummy and then we walked past um these eels that were like sort of straight up like vertical. Their heads were just pointed straight up and it I thought I was going to pass out and I had to go outside and sit down and then we were just there for two hours while I had a panic attack and I was like, "Oh, this is the person that I want next to me while I'm too high at the aquarium." And I feel like if that's if that's the person you want next to you when you're too high at the aquarium, that's a good start.

Great. Love or leave it. Brought to you by Sundays for Dogs. Is your dog's food created to maximize your dog's quality of life or to extend the food's shelf life? Think about it. And while you do, let us tell you about Sundays. Sundays was founded by a veterinarian and mom, Dr. Tori Waxman, who got tired of seeing so-called premium dog food full of fillers and synthetics. So, she designed Sundays air dried real food made in a human grade kitchen using the same ingredients and care you use to cook for yourself and your family. Every bed of Sundays is clean and made from 100% meat and superfoods with no kibble. That means no weird ingredients you can't pronounce and no fillers. Compared to kibble or other brands out there, Sundays invests 50 times more in its ingredients to ensure premium quality.

Because your dog deserves food made with care, not in the interest of cost cutting. And the best part, you just scoop and serve. There's no freezer, no thre, no mess, just nutrient-rich, clean food that fuels their happiest, healthiest days, so you get more of them to share together. We're huge fans of Sundays for dogs. We want to take great care of our dogs. You know, Pundit has the run of this office.

We love her. Uh she basically my boss comes in and out of any meeting anytime she wants pretty disrespectful honestly at most start times end times records. So that's why you want to have good food for your dog like Sundays for dogs. So make the switch to Sundays. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com/loit50 and get 50% off your first order or you can use code loveit50 at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at sundaysfordogs.com/loit5050. Sundays fordogs.com/loit5050 or use code loveit50 at checkout.

This is a comment from Kaden. I just got engaged. How long is too long to actually plan and go through anything with the wedding? The idea of planning anything makes me want to vomit, especially this year working in politics, but I don't want it to become an afterthought or a when we have time never thing. Any advice here is helpful.

Well, I'll say this. I've been engaged twice. I have some tips from both. Great. get laid on us.

This is going to be kind of old-fashioned. Oo. All right. I'm going to have an oldfashioned point of view. Uh if you're going to get engaged, you should be planning a wedding.

And I know that there are reasons people get engaged long before maybe there's like they have a long academic period ahead of them. There's financial reasons, whatever. I get that. But my view is if you are engaged, it is because you are engaged to be married and you should at least have an understanding that the engagement period is about planning to get married because it's a liinal time and I just think it's strange if you're not heading towards getting married otherwise it's just not it doesn't really mean anything. That's my very stodgy old school notion. Um, and then my view of it is if you're if you want to be engaged, it's because you want to get married and just get to planning. Life is complicated. Life is going to be hard. There gonna be things that stand in the way of it. Find the time that you can do it the best way you can do it, the way you want to do it.

Don't do it the way anyone tells you you have to do it. And just do it. That can be a big wedding you're planning a year in advance. That could be a small courthouse wedding. That can be a party in your backyard. That could be a trip you go on with just your spouse. That could be calling your parents to tell them you just got married. And then your mother's like, "What the fuck?" Whatever it is for you, if you want to get engaged, it's cuz you want to get married, so [ __ ] get married. That's how I feel about it.

I like that. I think that makes sense just cuz well, uh, you're not the only one planning a wedding at Crooked right now. And I feel like whenever I talk to any anyone who is planning a wedding, they're like, I just got to get through all these decisions. It's almost like when you start, like then you it's almost like you complete it. So it's like you're taking a step off a cliff that you don't know what's next, but then once you take the step, you can keep going. I don't know. like land appears. So, just do it.

Yeah. The the advice I was given that I think is very good advice is a wedding is a beast that you and your partner are fighting together.

Cute. It's how I said it sounds negative. Yeah. I I will also say like, you know, I remember when I was like on that show Survivor and I was feeling bad about it

and I was like, how could you possibly not try to enjoy every aspect of this even when it doesn't go your way? you couldn't have chose this more. You couldn't have made this happen more. And so, like, we're planning a wedding right now and there are moments where it's not like tense, but it is like you're having a disagreement or there's a lot of decisions you have to make. And it's like making sure that even throughout the process, you're actually not having a bad time because you what the whole process should try to try to make it as pleasant as possible. But the other thing is when you get engaged and plan a wedding, you suddenly have all these kinds of conversations you don't normally have with your partner. It's like actually like a like a drill for life because you're like

figuring out family dynamics and there's relationship dynamics. There's um like taste questions. There's how you're going to interact with each with each other's families. There's like big decisions. There's money involved. Like it's like all those things. It's actually a I think an interesting like kind of like dress rehearsal for life. I like that. So that part of it too.

Yeah. Think about how all the things you're about to learn about your partner and maybe they'll be thrilling to Good luck Hayden.

Um, and then finally, we have a comment from Constant Cupcake. I honestly just want an update that Love It is hard at work on the romcom screenplay that we all deserve based loosely on his and Ari's relationship. And this discussion question from Bill. Do we have favorite Valentine's Day romcoms? Are the best ones from the 90s? Are there any good ones in the new Netflix era? Do you Are you guys romcom people?

I like romcoms. You love a 90s romcom. Yeah. Which which ones? What are we Julia Roberts across the board? Ryan across the board. Nodding Hill.

I say I I think mine or one of mine at least. Um The Wedding Singer, people forget about it because it's a comedy, but Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, nobody does it like them.

I think Nodding Hill, Nodding Hill to me is the number one. Uh it's so charming. It's so funny. Every single relationship and moment pays off in the movie. Like even the scenes that we're just meeting the like the comedic side characters, everything that's happening with them comes back around at the end of the movie. It shouldn't work.

It shouldn't work that Julia Roberts pays a movie star. Uh but it does and they're both so good in it. And I always feel like

um and then there's when Harry Met Sally, which is also obviously great and movie.

Yeah. There's a way in which like when Harry Met Sally is like number one kind of I don't know it's like like the it's like number one New York Jewish category and then Nodding Hill is like number one British category and it like depends on your mood.

I agree with that. That's how I feel about it. Yeah. I remember when we had Rob Reiner on Love It or Leave It. It's obviously sad to think about. Uh but I I believe what he said when we asked him, "Can men and women be friends?" He was like, "Nah, not really." And then and then it was like what do you think about people in these throppples? He was like no

he I believe he brought up polyamory like he was just like ah can you this polyamory but it was it was just such a funny Robiner way to approach it where it's just it's like I don't know just seems like a lot of work.

Yes on some level they can be but they can't be uh afterwards there's always a threat of something coming in unless you're polyamorous in which case I don't know what the hell you're doing. I also didn't realize that Rob Broner changed the ending of When Harry Met Sally after he met his wife.

What was it? What was it going to be? It was that they would did not wind up together.

Yeah, he he made the right choice. Yeah, what a bummer of an ending that would have been.

And as for writing a romantic comedy, when am I working on when am I going to do a screenplay?

I barely I could barely finish a screenplay when I was a screenwriter. That was my job and I barely could finish the damn things.

We'll see. We'll see what happens at the wedding. Maybe it'll be a lot of high jinks. You can just fashion it into um

Yeah, we're gonna rob you. We're gonna come to your wedding. We're going to rob you of it.

Oh, a heist. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Me and Lazarus. Just like like it's like a flood light comes on and we just see your per your your kind of freeze in your ball of clavas like

and you'll notice from our terrible posture. That's the thing. You won't be able to hide it. I think I Sarah has good posture. Don't drag chairs uncomfortable.

Don't drag Sarah into our godforsaken posture issues. Unfair to her. Before we go, as always these days, it's time for love it or leave its breakout new end segment. Second thoughts, where we go back and talk about

the things we regret from the very episode we're recording. Yes. One. Uh, look, I wasn't personally saying that I thought Kohley was, you know, attractive. I was I was sort of implying because I was comparing to the green Eminem.

Do you think Coley's more attractive than the green Eminem? No, I don't. I don't. I don't.

Okay, that's all I need to hear. I don't I don't I believe it. I don't. One more thing about Coley. The name Coley. Very first thought.

It's like towi from South Park. I think I like it because it's first thought. It's If they thought one second later, I'd say what have you done?

Yeah, you're right. Look at what they think of us. Look at what these Trump people think of this country that they think that there's an they think we're [ __ ] morons. They think we're sllavs and morons just waiting for a mascot like Coley to make Cole seem just a little bit sweeter to us. They think of us they are we are rubes to them. We are dumb [ __ ] marks to them. All of them. [ __ ] them. God damn it. [ __ ] Coley.

[ __ ] What if like Coley that came out like Kohley 2.0 just like sexy hourglass high heels

big beautiful Cole Yabos. Yeah. Giant Yabos. It's a Yasified Coley. Yes. Bow on bow on head.

Yeah, that's how you know it's a lady. There you go. Any second thoughts for you, Sarah?

I think I I think I crushed it. I'm going to marry Lady Coley. If they do that, I'll marry Coley.

That's good. Yeah, Co got money. We'll check in next year on Valentine's Day. Any second thoughts from you, Hie, before we go?

I nailed it. I [ __ ] crushed this. And that is the end of our very special Valentine's Day episode. Love it or leave it, we'll be back quicker than a boomerangs toss. I hope you [ __ ] have a beautiful Valentine's Day. Oh, and don't kiss. And don't Oh, don't lean in. He's got it.

I don't even know how to make your mount do. And don't forget to kiss your Sheilas. That wasn't bad. And don't forget. And Nope. That was better the first time. Don't forget to kiss your Sheilas.

There we go. And don't forget to kiss your Sheilas. What were we chanting earlier?

Say it first. Say it first. Say it first. It straight shoe.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag"?

Jon Lovett (Guest), Sarah Lazarus (Guest), Kefir (Guest).

What is "Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag" about?

The discussion centers around the complexities of expressing love and emotional expectations during Valentine's Day, highlighting the pressures and potential manipulation involved in romantic gestures. The conversation also touches on lighter topics related to significant stories that have previously gone unnoticed and includes engaging questions from the audience.

What is mentioned in this Lovett or Leave It episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Nancy Mace, Zaran Mandani, Doug Bergam, New York Magazine, Parks and Recreation, Rudy Giuliani. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Zohran Mamdani's Bidet SCANDAL, Nancy Mace’s BREAKDOWN & Valentine’s Day Mailbag"?

The episode runs 56 min; the transcript is about 12,225 words in 242 timestamped sections.

More from Lovett or Leave It

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 15, 2026.