Ep 583 - Ice Cream Dream (feat. James McCann)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Eminem, Mark Wahlberg, Municipal
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Battlefield Red SEC
3. 30:00 – 40:00: Dane Wthbone
4. 40:00 – 50:00: Bryant Kelly, Odell Beckham, Prize Pick
5. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Curtis SWA
6. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Rodrigo Duterte

Notable quotes from "Ep 583 - Ice Cream Dream (feat. James McCann)"

• Everyone's tacking me saying like Yeah, Mark Wahlberg quotes and they give me pictures of Fred Durst. I'm like Yo, what the hell, guys?

  about Mark Wahlberg · at 0:27

• Man, you catched me 10 years ago when I was whing out. We see about this. But yeah, Eminem mogged Wahberg on TRL.

  about Eminem · at 1:56

• Battlefield, Red, SEC, is, available, on, PC, PlayStation 5, and Xbox X and S. Play free now.

  about Battlefield Red SEC · at 14:26

• Really, Dane, Wthbone, would, get, his, penis, out.

  about Dane Wthbone · at 33:47

• This, episode, is, brought, to, you, by, Prize Pick. You and I make decisions every day, Matt. But on Prize Pick, being right can get you paid, baby. Don't forget, Prize Pick is also available in.

  about Prize Pick · at 44:23

• Catchy. And they banned it. And then I found out Lamar, what's his name? Odell Beckham.

  about Odell Beckham · at 47:45

• I, was, I, was, looking, into, Curtis, SWA.

  about Curtis SWA · at 55:40

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Eminem — Person · 2 mentions · first at 1:48
• Mark Wahlberg — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:28
• Dane Wthbone — Person · 1 mention · first at 33:48
• Odell Beckham — Person · 1 mention · first at 47:50
• Bryant Kelly — Person · 1 mention · first at 48:06
  But, no,, the, their, coach, they, fired, was Bryant Kelly.
• Curtis SWA — Person · 1 mention · first at 55:40
• Rodrigo Duterte — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:09:12
• Dom Lamar — Person · 1 mention
• Lee Kuan Yew — Person · 1 mention
• Positive Sean — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Beastie Boys — Company · 2 mentions
• Prize Pick — Company · 1 mention · first at 44:23
• LSU — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Battlefield Red SEC — Product · 2 mentions · first at 13:53
• Municipal — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:02
  Municipal., Look, at, the, swag., Did, you, see him with Did, you, pray, this, morning, at, 5, a.m.?

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Wow. Wow. Wes. Hey, what's up, guys? What's, up,, everybody?, How, are, we, doing?

0:06 This, is, This, is, just, awesome, stuff. This, is, awesome. This, is, great, stuff., I, love, this,, man.

0:11 What's, that? Just, this, podcasting,, chilling. I'm, right, now, I'm, I, have, I'm, dealing with all the haters on Twitter right now.

0:18 What, are, the, haters, doing, dude?, I, I, sent, like, a, friendly, tweet, out yesterday saying like how much I can't believe I can't believe how much I look like Mark Wahberg with my hat backwards. Everyone's tacking me saying like "Yeah, Mark Wahlberg quotes and they give me pictures of Fred Durst." I'm like "Yo, what the hell, guys?"

0:33 It's, got, to, be, nicer, than, me, handsome young boys. Nice, compliment. No,, it's, You, see, the, picture?, Dur's rules.

0:40 I'm, going, for, Wahberg,, bro., I'm, going for I was Jo. Obviously, I was kidding. I was like, "Damn, I can't believe how much I look at."

0:45 Can, I, see? I, look, exactly, like, I, know., I, know. You, look, exactly I, look, exactly.

0:53 Can, you, do, a, Wberg, impression?, Uh,, I'll have to think about it. Was, he, doing, a, thing?

0:59 Yo,, you, got, to, show, them, the, uh, the [ __ ] name of the brand. Municipal.

1:03 Municipal. My, my, jeans, are, too, short., My, wife, made fun of me this morning.

1:07 Oh,, yeah., You, do, have, those. I, got, the, project, right. Shalties, on, them., You, got, the, capries, dude.

1:14 Municipal., Look, at, the, swag., Did, you, see him with Did, you, pray, this, morning, at, 5, a.m.?

1:18 Did, I, What? Did, you, pray, at, 5:00, a.m.? I, probably, did., I, will, be, stayed, up.

1:23 If, I, I, always, I, stay, very, prayed, up. Did, you, and, AC, Slater, stay, straight, play prayed up?

1:28 AC, Slater, say, sprayed, up. Yes,, dude. I, didn't, know, that. Slater, and, [ __ ], Wahberg, are, boys, dude.

1:32 Are, they, boys? Yes., And, they're, tough. I, saw, him, mo, and, Drewi,, bro. Drew.

1:37 Mark, Wahberg. Oh, yeah,, I, did, see, that. That, boy,, where, you, think, I'm, from?

1:41 That's, what, he, said, on, Drewuski, show. That, boy,, where, you, think, I'm, from?

1:46 It's, pretty, sick. You, see, Eminem, Wahberg? Yes,, I, saw, that., That, was, He, mogged, the [ __ ] Well, Wahberg was trying to switch lanes. I think Walberg was probably like, "Man, you catched me 10 years ago when I was whing out. We see about this." But yeah, Eminem mogged Wahberg on TRL.

2:03 Eminem, was, mean, to, him,, dude. Well,, he, was, just, kind, of, like killing him. I don't know what what was what was Wahberg doing that he didn't like he was probably partied out.

2:12 Eminem,, I, think,, hated, every, white rapper. Yeah., Well,, also, it, was, Marky, Mark,, so he was getting compared to Marky Mark all the time. It was kind of like a disc. He hated

2:20 so, he, had, to, bring, it, to, him. He, always, talks, [ __ ], on, Vanilla, Ice. Mark Wahberg.

2:24 True. All, of, them. That's, That's, our, problem, as, white rappers. Dudes, grabs a bucket.

2:29 I, know., We, got, to, change, the, culture., We got to stop the violence and vote. As white rappers, we need to stop the violence and vote.

2:40 White, rappers, probably, do, need, to, stop the violence and vote. They, do., They, I, think, they, need

2:46 the, non, the, non-Jewish, white, rappers., I feel like the Jewish rap, the white rappers are nice.

2:50 Yeah,, they're, fine. You, think, the, Beasty, Boys, will, each other? They're, definitely, cool,

2:54 dude., I, was, at, a, uh, [ __ ], where, was, I recently? Buffalo. I was in Buffalo walking into a show and a guy was like "Yo, check it out. It's Adrock's jacket." He was like, I think he used to drive limos and Adrock left his It literally said Adrock was an old Beasty Boys jacket.

3:07 It's, incredible. It's, awesome, how, he, let, me, wear, it., He goes, "Put I didn't even He's like, "Put it on." I'm like

3:11 "That's, how, you, started, feeling, like Mark Walberg." What, the, hell, are, you, talking, about? What the heck you talking about? You felt the [ __ ]

3:16 ad, rock, flowed, through, you, in, the, jet action. The, blood, of, the, white, rapper, kings.

3:20 I, really, felt, I, really, felt, the, power, man. You, felt, our, ancestors. I, did., I, felt, good,, man., I, put, on, the Adrock jacket, you know, but you know, I had to give it right back, but I was kind of hoping he'd let me keep it, but he didn't. It was actually It's a sick possession.

3:31 Yeah. Driving, a, limo, and, Adrock, leaves, a jacket. He's like, "Dude, I've been wearing this thing for like 10 years." I think it was sick. But yeah.

3:38 Oh,, you're, a, white, rapper. Oh, [ __ ] I've, been, rapping., I've, been, laying, it down. Mr. very good rapper. I'll be out there. I'm just waiting. I'm trying to do production now. Trying to get other people to do the rapping and no one will buy the beats.

3:52 Really? Zero, beats, purchased. You, know,, it's, hard, to, sell, beats, now. You, can, just, go, on, Yeah., You, can, just, go on and be like people used to make like $250,000 for beats and now it's like

4:02 you, used, to, do, a, whatever, Swiss, beat style. There's a million things on YouTube.

4:07 I, may, have, to, pay, for, a, feature., It, may come to it. What, I, would, like, to, do, is, street rapper. What's your hook? You got to yell something out.

4:16 Yell, just like, we, the, best. No,, I'm, like, I'm, Lupe, Fiasco., I, got, no hooks.

4:20 Yeah,, you, need, a, cool, You, need, a, cool hook that everyone has to have. Oh,, like, a, producer, tag.

4:24 Yes. Wasn't, Lup's, first, and, 15th, or, was, that just the album? I, think, it, was 15.

4:31 First, and, 15, I, think, was, like, the, crew just you know him. Those are the days that the welfare checks would arrive in the neighborhood.

4:37 Yes,, that's, true., But, you, need, like, if Young Metro don't something like that. Yeah, you need something like that or

4:41 I, mean, if, young, Metro trust, you, I'm, shoot, you one, time, we, were, in, a, car.

4:49 Yeah, I'm, not, going, to, name, the, perpetrator. Yeah, cuz, I, ain't, no, snitch.

4:54 Yeah, but, it, was, me,, Nate,, and, another, white comedian in the car. And out of nowhere he yelled, "Take heat. [ __ ] these." And he did it.

5:03 Whoa. I, think, he, forgot, Nate, was, in, the, back seat and we all had to just be like All right, we all agree that was a mistake. Sorry everybody. Sorry everyone.

5:15 You, I, feel, like, you, handled, it, well. No,, it, was, it, was, it, was, undeniably funny.

5:19 Classic, mistake., It, was, so, loud, and, it was out of nowhere. I, do, feel, like, the, rap, I, feel, like, the rap excitement nword gets a

5:26 song, wasn't, even, playing. Oh,, okay., I, thought, I, think, the, song, was it was not I I vividly remember he

5:33 was, trying, to, create, that, part, in, my mind, like, we, were at, that No,, it, was, we, were, in, traffic., Uh,

5:39 well,, traffic. Traffic., Exactly., I, think, that's, what jarred it loose for him.

5:43 At, that, childish, Gambino, gig,, he, did, the Staywoke song, which has a very prominent uh end in it. But the audience is mostly white.

5:51 Yeah., Oh,, rap, concert. And, it's, at, the, It, was, very, strange though. At the peak of the chorus, the energy comes right down for two seconds when everyone respectfully leaves the words out, then goes back to singing the chorus.

6:01 Oh, yeah. Stay, awoke creeping. They leave it. That's I've seen rap I've seen white people at rap concerts fully get their money's worth for

6:11 saw, Woodstock, you, saw, Woodstock, 999, you saw DMX Woodstock 999 I, think, I, was, at, a, Kanye, concert

6:17 10, million, whites, getting, it, in I, was, given, permission, by, Kanye, from, the stage to participate I believe

6:24 really when, he, was, doing, his, tours, he, would always he would say get into it say the

6:29 don't, hold, back I, think, school, boy, Q, had Kendrick, trick, to, that, poor, honky, woman

6:33 it's, not, right, Yeah. Yeah. That, evil, bastard. Wait,, so, Nate,, what, was, the, Was, it, like you just give the guy a yellow card or like what was the

6:41 He, got, yellow. He, was, yellow, card. One, more., It, was, red,, but I, think

6:46 it's, like, anything, we've, ever, seen before. Yeah,, it, was, uh, it, was, a, tough, one.

6:53 Yeah. Just, so, funny., Out, of, nowhere screamed, it. T, [ __ ], you., I, was, like,

7:03 it, woke, me, up., I, was, half, asleep, back there just coming. I, think, I, think, that, was, it., You, were quiet for a while. I think you were sleepy in the car.

7:10 Yeah,, we, had, like, a, 2-hour, drive, or something. It was I, had, a, I, was, talking, to, an, Uber, driver in Tulsa this weekend who said he picked up this like old black lady, like an old like church lady was driving her from the airport somewhere like kind of far away and the ride was so long that he had forgotten he had an Uber passenger. And he's like, "Dude." So, I'm like thinking I'm going home. I have a joint in my mouth. I'm [ __ ] blasting tunes just [ __ ] chilling. And he said "Someone cut him off." He didn't say what he said. He goes, "Bro." I let out every word in the book and just just everything screaming. And I turn around to see this little old black lady just staring from the back. He went, "Oh Jesus Christ." Like, "Man, I forgot you were back there. I'm so sorry about that."

7:53 Scared, of, a, passenger., That's He, got, terrified., He, was, like,, "You should have seen the look on your face ma'am." She was like, "You should have seen the look on your face." And he goes, "Yeah, I was scared." And then he uh he dropped her off and she goes "I'll pray for you, young man." And just walked away. Thank you, ma'am. Yeah. Forgetting you have a passenger in Uber. So funny. He goes, "Dude, I was like almost home. I almost brought this lady to my house. Telling you, happy to chat feature is where it's at. You get the good stories."

8:21 I, literally, can't, couldn't, disagree more. I know you're getting good stories for the stories. I get great stories. I know you got good stories for the pod

8:29 but, that, sucks. You, can, set, happy, to, chat, on, your, Uber. Yeah,, but, you're, still, selecting, comfort to get happy to chat. You don't get that option at the lower down Uber. And you get to chat on Uber X.

8:39 No,, the, Uber, X, you, are, going, to, be chatting. I think it's default. They're, not, getting, paid, as, much., They want they want to to make their time valuable. They'll be chatting.

8:47 I've, chatted, them, up, in, some, Uber, X., had some of the worst Uber X chats of my uh had a guy explain his movie ideas to me

8:54 and, then, I, I, felt, like, we, just, get, to the end of it, don't interrupt and, then, I, noticed, he, had, started, going like 12 m an hour. He slowed right down so that he could explain the full extent of the movie idea.

9:05 It, was, his, idea, was, to, get, homeless people to work in a hotel and make a documentary about it and have the documentary.

9:12 It, was, your, driver,, Matt. A, [ __ ], Matt, idea. The, homeless, hotel., Yeah,, obviously

9:19 what, a, cruel, but, they, can't, stay, there. I, don't, Yeah,, they, were, making, so, much money from

9:26 in, the, basement, for, him., Get, some Who's, choosing, to, stay, at when, you're, looking, up, all, the, Yelp reviews of the hotels or whatever. You're going I think this homeless hotel. That's a good

9:36 Yeah,, that's, a, terrible, idea. What, else, did, he, Did, he, elaborate? Anything?

9:40 There, was, going, to, be, a, sequel., He, was going to hire one as a manager. He was going to open a chain and

9:45 solve, homelessness, in, America., To, be fair, man, they're already equipped. They got the shopping carts.

9:50 You, could, have, them, lined, up, like, the Uber for your stuff. Just have like a line of like 20 of them.

9:54 Come, up,, put, them, in,, they, watch, them just walk away with all of your stuff.

9:57 Yeah,, they, just, take, it, immediately. Homeless, hotel, would, be, nice. I, think, the, answer, is, the, military., The more I think about it

10:03 military. Military, wing, for, the, homeless., They need jobs. This is how Mount Sung fixed the opium crisis in China. He just took everyone who was an opium addict and he put them in the army and he said, "You have purpose. You have a uniform. This is what you do now." I honestly don't think that's

10:17 the, National, Guard, in, turn, them, into, the National Guard. That would be a very scary brigade.

10:20 They, could, just, There's, a, ton, of, work they could do with the military. That wouldn't be bad.

10:23 Hitler, did, that. Many, people, he, took, like, insane, people and criminals and [ __ ] and was just like just go kill as many people as you can. Civilians on the on the Eastern Front. Yeah. I forget the name of

10:35 I'm, thinking, more, like, having, them. What's, the, name, of, that, group? I, don't, know., This, is, the, first, time hearing about that.

10:39 Uh, yes,, look, that, up., There's, like a, circus., No,, they, were, just, the, worst people and their job was to kill civilians.

10:48 Well,, the, problem, is, too, once, you, put homeless people in the military, now they're they have to answer to like military court. So, I think you could like beat them up and stuff. They try to run off. I think they try to run away. I think you'd be able to like get in their face and be like, "Maggot

11:03 maggot,, where, you, going?" Wish, fulfillment., Right, back, at, the drill sergeant. I'm not a maggot.

11:08 I, have, maggots, in, my, skin., There's, bugs everywhere. Ah I, might, start, a, street, military, like just like um like a cadre where I go out and I'm like get up.

11:21 Wake, up. Pipe, dish, your, mother, boys., Just, get wake them up. That'd be a good service.

11:28 Just, to, wake, up, homeless, guys. You, got, to, play, taps, to, put, them, to, bed. You got to put them to bed at night.

11:33 You, got, to, hit, taps, at, like, noon, when they're nodding out. Damn,, that'd, be, so, funny., Blasting, with the bugle. Wake up, boys. Welcome to hell.

11:43 It, just, reminds, me, of, my, time, at, the point Matt. Yo,, my, bad., My, bad.

11:46 No,, it's, all, right., There, was, a, time they they do play taps before you go to bed,

11:50 do, they? And, I, was, laying, there, like,, I, could, do this. Yeah, it's, [ __ ], nice,, dude., Going, to, bed hearing taps. You're like

11:56 what, is, tabs?, Playing, tabs. They, play, you, into, bed. A, sad, one., Yeah,

12:05 it's, I, didn't, know, that, they they, tuck, you, in, at, night., What, was that? Uh, what was that? Hitler brigade.

12:12 Get, in, there. It's, hard, to, pronounce,, but, I, think, it's the Durl Wanganger Brigade.

12:17 The, Durl, Wangers. Yeah., Yeah., [ __ ], by, a, child, uh, a child sex criminal and sociopath named Oscar Durl Wanganger.

12:27 Nice. So, that, was, his, his, group, of, merry, men. And, what, did, he, lead?, He, led, just, like just beating people.

12:32 Another, group, of Yeah., They, would, do, like rapists, and, drunks, and war, crimes, and

12:37 and, they, just, went, around, and, committed war crimes in Barus. He's, he, had, the, pedophile.

12:41 I, think, that's, what, it, is., At least there's there's a few. And, what, was, the, deal, afterwards, if, he survived it? Was it like clean slate?

12:50 I'm, not, sure. I'll check it out. Yeah., I, don't, think, they, were, I, don't think they were looking to the future at that point with that squad.

12:58 True. Well,, anyway,, that's, a, fun, topic. when you think something's a good idea and it turns out Hitler did it and you go you're at a crossroad. You have to either be like I take it back or you go well

13:10 I, like, the, auto, barn., You, think, the, auto barn is cool? Fast, highway. We'll, give, them, that, big, stadiums. That's great. We like big stadiums.

13:20 What? What, else, you, got? Says, after, the, war, they, were, just, sent back to jail. They were all just reconvicted.

13:26 That, guy, Hitler, really, was, a, bastard, huh? Don't trust a word he says. Back, to, the, clink,, fellas.

13:33 Good, luck, sleeping. That's, crazy. Yeah,, I'm, sure, the, Soviets, did, that, too.

13:41 Everybody, was, Yeah. scraping, the, barrel. True., And, America, was, nothing, but, like those YouTube pedophile hunter guys being like, "Hey

13:48 what, the, hell, are, you, doing?, Hey, he's, running, past, the, tomatoes.", This episode is brought to you by Battlefield Red Sec. Yes.

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14:34 I, love, it., I, have, a, hoot, playing, that game. And, is, there, I, think, I, haven't, seen, any pedophile. That was like in my algorithm for a while. That's kind of like falling out.

14:43 Hunters. The, belly, punch., Yeah,, the, belly, punch. Belly, punch, guys., Body, check, into, the deodorant guys

14:49 because, now, we, need, a, new, task, force, to police those guys specifically. Hey stop punching that pill. Once you get the taste of body checking somebody into CVS, that's tough to get out. Checking someone into the [ __ ] aisle is so fun.

15:02 Well,, especially, when, you're, like,, cuz they're watching videos of their work so you're like studying technique. You're like, I could have laid into that guy.

15:08 Could, [ __ ], hit. Little, Mexican, autistic, guy., I, could have [ __ ] really hit him harder.

15:12 I'm, glad, you, guys, are, here. You, guys, I'm, doing, the, same, thing., I, was trying to get the kids.

15:19 So, nice., They're, like,, "Yeah,, you, sure?" Oh, no. That would be nice to, you know be good and this would be this would be a very delicate uh kind of line to walk where you go online as a joke and you try to find or entice these guys you can tell are operatives. So, it' be risky because you would have to do like lewd talk with who could be a teenager, but then like you you get trapped on purpose by one of these guys and you meet him in the Walmart and then you have a bigger guy than him there to be like, "Fuck you. What? I heard you're a [ __ ] pedophile." I'm like, "No, I'm not. I'm here to get the pedophiles."

15:54 You, talking, about, entrapping, these, guys with a squad to beat the [ __ ] out of the pedal hunters

15:59 for, no, good, reason., Just pedophiles, for, YouTube, views., Just, so that's where my heart is.

16:04 You, want, the, pedophiles, to, get, a, win, on one of these videos. No,, no,, I, don't, want, the, pedophiles, get a win.

16:07 They, are, the, [ __ ], Washington Generals. I, want, I, want, to, trick, them., I, would hire a pedophile to be like, "Yo, if you got any meetups, let me go." And I'd be like, "I, wouldn't, I, don't want, to, talk to kids like that.

16:15 You, want, to, be, the, guardian, angels, for pedophiles?" Oh, I just want to get big YouTube views for pedophile hunter hunter where I hunt out pedophile hunters.

16:23 I, like, it. And, then, accuse, them, of, pedophilia, as, a prank, Jessica., It's, just, a, Dude,, relax., It's, a prank.

16:29 It's, a, good, prank., Just you, want, to, rumble, in, the, Walgreens. I, don't, even, want, to, do, it., I'm, going, to hire a giant man.

16:36 Hire, like, five, dudes. Yeah,, exactly. Whailing, these, and, then, be, like, "We, got to [ __ ] be like, "Yo, brothers. I'm not a [ __ ] ped. What the fuck?"

16:44 Should, honestly, just, start, doing, that, to random dudes at the shopping center. be like, "You're here to meet a 15-year-old." Be like, "What?

16:50 God's, here, to, meet, a, 15y, old." You, know,, now, you, say, it,, that's, a, way better way to do it rather than a good prank.

16:56 You, know,, rather, than, having, to, risk, it all, cuz, you'd, have, to, like, talk, to, local, law enforcement like, "Hey, doing a prank. We're going to be, you know

17:04 pretending, to, talk, to, kids, online,, but I'm going to hire like AI bots to do that for me. I'm not going to do it myself."

17:10 It's, not, bad. Well,, it's, a, terrible, plan,, but it's, a, funny, joke. Yeah, James, what are you up to?

17:18 No,, I'm, thinking, I, think, the, market, is because that was to catch a predator and people just took that and made that a YouTube shot. Y

17:23 but, none, of, the, other, great, weird, early 2000s TV shows that you couldn't make today have made the jump to like someone could make a The Biggest Loser now

17:32 just, get, a, fat, house, and yeah, runs, around., You're, talking, about, a Bob farm.

17:38 Bob, but, there, were, like, heaps, of, those, shows that you go, you can't do that. We were addicted to the getting the fats to shrink for a while.

17:46 I, would, watch, it., They, would, release, it just after dinner time. You'd be eating your dessert and you'd watch the workouts. My wife went in a deep dive on Biggest Loser and found there was someone who died on the show briefly. They were resuscitated.

17:57 The, Biggest, Loser. I'm, The, Biggest, Loser. The, Ultimate, Loser. But, then, they, were, brought, back, to, life and the doctor said, "I'll train you. You don't do any work with these trainers now. They're trying to kill you." And then they lost more weight than anybody on the show. Everyone hated them.

18:10 Maybe, it, was, Was, she might, have been, Netflix?, She, was watching the Netflix Fat People documentary. I loved that shot.

18:16 Yeah,, that's, awesome. I'm, trying, to, do, this. Yeah,, you're, saying, they, haven't, remade enough of these shows.

18:21 I, think, they're, bringing, back, Fear Factor right now. Yeah,, heard. Yeah. Who's, going, to, be, the, host?

18:26 I, don't, know. Tony, eat, that, ox, penis. Yeah., You, like, that? That'd, be, sick, if, he, hosted, the, new, fear factor. Be awesome.

18:39 He's, got, to, get, swole, though,, bro. That's the That's the only thing I Tony, Kas, first, time, I, came, to, Austin,, he was swole as [ __ ]

18:46 Yeah,, he's, ripped, for, sure., I, do, want, to see him bulk. Yeah,, you, can, bulk, up.

18:51 I, want, to, see, him, bulk, and, then, do, Fear Factor. That'd, be, sick. Be, tight.

18:55 What, else, was, there, back, then?, What shows? Oh,, in, terms, of, like What, other, shows, couldn't, we, do?

19:01 There, were I mean there were little ones on odd channels. There was like uh like Wife Swap.

19:08 Oh,, yeah. You, would, have, a, different, woman, come and leave you for the week. I'm still watching that.

19:12 There, was, the, season, of, Survivor, where they I mean I, watched, that, last, night, honestly.

19:17 There, was, a, season, of, Survivor, where they divided the tribes by race. Really?

19:22 Yeah., It, was, Poverty's, first, season. There was a black tribe, a white tribe an Asian tribe, and a Hispanic tribe. It was like the 15th season.

19:28 What? And, they, divide, them, all, up, by, race. Did, you, catch, the, whole, thing?

19:32 I'm, about, halfway, through, it., The, Asians all hate the Vietnamese guy cuz Asians don't get along. The black people are not. Also, none of them know before the season starts if this is what's going to be happening. So, they get there and they go, "All right, you're all over there." And then you see people looking around going, "Oh, [ __ ] No." Uh Hispanics are very happy about it.

19:50 I, think, I, remember, that, season cuz, there, was on, the, island, there, was, a, white, guy,, a black guy, and an Asian guy at first. And the white guy was like, "All right I'm going to start building the shelter." The black dude, he was like "All right, you go like uh start hunting, try to gather some food." Then he was like "Asian dude, go search for supplies." And after like 3 hours, they couldn't they couldn't find the Asian guy and they went out and he jumped out from behind a tree and went, "Surprise."

20:15 I, think, his, name, is, Cowboy. He, was, playing, tricks. No,, it's, just, a, classic, joke.

20:22 An, Asian, guy, thinking, surprise, was surprise. I, want, to, get, it. Just, an, old, That's, a, throwback, joke.

20:28 I, was, like,, "Wait,, what? You, said, it, with, such, confidence." Yeah,, that's, that's, part, of, the, joke.

20:32 I, was, fully, dialed, in., I, was, like, "That's, a, great, joke.", Hilar surprise.

20:37 Where, the, hell?, Where, did, you, hear, that from? Probably, fell. I, was, about, to, say, that, sounds, like, the Elks Lodge.

20:41 Yeah,, that, was, an, Elks, Lodge., Killer, dude. That was 10 minutes of laughing. Order another round. Let's go, boys. We got a good racist joke out.

20:51 Yeah,, that'll, get, the, Elsk. Well,, dude,, that, was, uh, that, Vietnam book I was reading, they were saying how much of an effect that just that stuff had on the war itself, where like cuz apparently men in Vietnam would hold hands. It was very customary and like very chill for two men to hold hands in public and walk. If you were friends

21:07 you'd, hold, your, boy's, hand,, you, walk down the street, but if you held like your wife's hand, it was considered like crazy. So like they uh the American soldiers would just pester those guys all the time. They used to call them homos.

21:19 Like, they, said, in, the, book,, they, weren't that creative. Well, they had a guy uh one of one of the sergeants was Vietnamese and his like family had been just decimated and he'd been fighting since he was like a 10-year-old boy. So that by the time he was like 20some, he was like, "Dude, I'm I'm done." He like just resigned. He's like, "I'm, not, fighting., We're, going to court marshal." And he's like, "I don't care." And he was complaining to the guy. He's like "You guys all call us [ __ ] homos. You know why we hold hands? It's actually really cool."

21:48 And I'm curious now, do Vietnamese people still hold hands? Can you look up if Vietnamese men still hold hands? Cuz that would be a devastating effect of the war if Vietnamese

21:56 North. That's, how, you, know, we, lost. Yeah., Yeah. If, they're, still, holding, hands,, we definitely lost.

22:01 Yeah., If, if, we, I, mean, if that, was, kind, of, the, whole, point, of, the fight.

22:04 Stop, holding, hands. Holding, hands., They, bomb. They, still, hold, hands., They

22:09 They, won,, bro., We, did, our, best., We, got in there like knock it off. Arms, link, arms.

22:17 Skipping, down, the, streets, of, Ho, Chi, Min City. I, didn't, know, that., Yeah,, it's completely

22:21 I, really, despise, holding, hands, while walking. I, don't, like, it, either. I, [ __ ], hate, it.

22:25 Oh,, I, don't, like, it,, man., You, got, to sink, your, pace, up. I, Dude, sink, your, pace, up.

22:33 I, get, I, get, flack, about, holding, hands all the time. I just I, can't, stand, it.

22:38 Especially, when, like, I, if, you're, going to do that dead, fish,, women, will, [ __ ], dead fishing to hold hands. I'm doing all the work here and then somebody else is walking down the sidewalk and we got to I'm, like,, "Fucking, get, out, of the, way. Yeah. Get Hey, dude. You're preaching to the choir.

22:52 I, haven't, gotten, to, do, it, in, a, long, time because I'm always holding a child's hand.

22:56 Yeah. And, now, that, she, my, daughter, is, almost seven and she'll do weird walk. She'll be like stepping on the cracks while holding the hand or trying not to step on the cracks and it feels like my arm is going to get yanked out of the

23:06 socket, or, she, wants, to, be, lifted, in, the air and do a swing with the the, the, un, the, un, the, no, warning, like I'm going to swing from your arm [ __ ] makes me so angry.

23:15 Walking, a, dog., It's, like, walking, a, dog when they run. Dude [ __ ], kills.

23:19 It, hurts., It, sucks., It's, the, exact, same thing. You just feel complete dead weight. And then I'm like, you can't do that. I get so mad. And they're like just having fun. I don't know why you're being such a dick about this. It's like dude, that [ __ ] That sucks when you do that.

23:31 Hurt, your, father's, shoulder. You, do, feel, like, a, [ __ ] Vietnamese. My, hands.

23:37 What, are, you,, VC?, You, do. I, do, feel, like, a, [ __ ], cuz, she's, having a nice time. She's having an expressing you know, she's expressing love to me. And I go, just be normal.

23:45 Walk, like, a, normal, person. Get, off, me., All right., You're, ready, for Australia with that [ __ ] dew.

23:52 True. That, crow, boy., The, real, crow, boy. It'll, grow, back., It'll, grow, back., It'll be I just wanted a normal mullet. I didn't know. I froze up because I think there there was a very muscular woman cutting the hair. It could have been a trans person. I don't No judgment. No. I don't know. I don't know why.

24:08 I, swear, to, God, if, you, shaved, that, beard. Yeah., Better, or, worse. No,, I'm, just, saying

24:13 I, wouldn't, be, throwing, around, that, could be trans. Oh, you think I'll be I look trans if I get

24:18 You, got, the, [ __ ], Starbucks, do, right now. You, got, the, [ __ ], barista.

24:22 We, got, to, outreach, to, the, progressives. We got to expand the audience. You, got, the, complete, bur.

24:27 They, gave, me, a, neck, massage, afterwards. I didn't ask for it. Kind, of, nice, though.

24:31 They, put, a, warm, towel, on, me, and, got, a machine out and stuff, but it was

24:34 That's, nice. As, I, felt, sad, about, my, hair and, I, was, uh, I, was, appalled., I, was, very upset. But then I realized my mouth could be seen through the towel. She wrapped the towel around my face and I thought my expression was hidden. Then I realized my mouth was twisted into a disgusting grimace.

24:50 Then, I, closed, it, up. Did, they, ask, you, to, go, down, that, far? Did you go like cuz that's like a two.

24:55 This, was, the, first, thing, they, did. They, just, went damn. And, then, there, was, I, couldn't, say, stop now.

25:01 Welcome, to, the, resistance,, brother. I, like, it., I, do, like, it., It, looks, good.

25:06 I, am, waiting, for, it, to, grow. I, think, sick., I, think, it's, I, get, the wings out the back. The worst is that they took photos of me. I said yes. I think I'm on their Instagram page somewhere.

25:17 They, did. She goes and and lovely lovely lady. Lovely lady. I don't know. I don't want to talk about it, but they go I don't know if, they, posted., Do, you, want, a before and after? I I I couldn't I don't I looked up open now on a Sunday.

25:32 I, tried, to, hide, how, it, was, in, this, town. I tried to get I tried to go and get one when I was in I don't know Tacoma and then I sat for an hour and I had to go to the airport. What did Tacoma do, too?

25:43 I, listened, in, Tacoma, waiting, for, a haircut and then I just had to leave cuz the car was there. But this man was complaining about his girlfriend and how she was recovering from a C-section.

25:53 Yeah. Men, open, up, in, a, barber, shop, and, they tell you how they really feel. It was the least sympathetic man I've ever overheard. He was literally complaining "My wife's recovering from a C-section. She can't walk. And she's getting angry at me for going skiing too much. I need to go skiing so I can be there forever."

26:08 Is, he, getting, his, haircut? Yeah., There's, nothing, bothers, me, more cuz I'm dead silent during a haircut which I guess is psychotic.

26:15 I, look, at, myself, in, the, eyes, the, entire time. It's, kind, of, [ __ ], crazy.

26:19 I, think, it, was a, bodybuilding, woman's trans. There's, always, a, loud, [ __ ], dude.

26:24 A, very, loud, man., And, the, barber, the barber can't go shut up. Yeah. The, barber, has, to, go., Oh,, it's, hard about not being able to ski while your wife recovers from

26:33 Yeah., I, don't, tell, them, [ __ ], man. I'm, a, vault. I, tell, you,, I, I, had, a, bit, of, a, bad haircut myself. If I shave my mustache and I forgot how small my mouth was. I forgot I don't have an upper lip.

26:45 Yeah,, they, can, fix, that. Soon, as, I, Yeah,, I, should, get, lip injection. It's almost time.

26:49 Shaved, my, mouth, and, I, was, like,, "Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] I forgot I looked like this. I just wanted my face to look, you know, I wanted less features."

26:59 Why? Because, I, have, a, completely, featureless face. I, feel, this, is, I, feel, my, beard, and, my glasses are doing a lot to hold me in place. But as Yeah, you got the Irish small nose, big head, small features.

27:11 Yeah,, it's, tough. It's, all, face. It's, difficult. I, need, my, goat, now. [ __ ], you, laughing, at,, Nate.

27:17 Ugly, [ __ ] We, don't, know, what, Nate, really, looks like. I've never seen Nate's chin.

27:23 Yeah,, I, don't, even, know, what, it, looks like anymore. Do, you, have, pics, with, you, with, a, butt face?

27:27 With, me, and, my, butt, face? No,, I'm, saying, like, when, you, shave,, it's called a butt face.

27:30 No,, he, was, he, was, skinny, before, the beard. Oh,, yeah., Yeah., Yeah., No,, I, didn't, I didn't grow this out of

27:36 I'd, love, to, see, I'd, like, to, see, that chin under there. Oh,, it's, dead., See, what's, going, on.

27:40 Clean, Clean, shaving,, by, the, way. You're, not, ugly,, by, the, way., Your, hands

27:43 clean, shaving, is, called, a, butt, face. That's a universal. I wasn't calling your face a butt face. I thought you thought

27:47 clean, shave., No,, no., Clean, shaving, face is called a butt face. Okay., Okay., I, think, I, would, look, good.

27:52 That's, universal. I, have, to, admit, while, I, was, shaving, I did. You, hit, it.

27:58 Wait, you, did, the, Alex, Jones., Uh you, just, got, to, hit, it, for, one, second., I go, "Oh, it's too powerful. It was actually an accident. I Yeah, you just

28:08 I, just, accidentally, did, it, and, I, was like, "Oh shit." Every, time. Yeah,

28:12 I've, given, it, to, myself, many, many, times. You, do, have, you You're, talking, about, one, of, my, better with the [ __ ]

28:17 mullet, with, a, Hitler, stash, would, be [ __ ] beard combo be nice, too, cuz you're like, "M, I have a beard. I'm not [ __ ]

28:23 Just I'm, taking, away, its, power." Yeah, I'm, an, ally. Yeah,, true., That's, a, good, point.

28:30 My, wife, wouldn't, allow, it,, I, don't think. But I do like to come out and show her.

28:34 Show, her. Yeah. Yeah., Always. I've, been, cursed,, man., I, have, a, scar right here. So my mustache doesn't connect. So I can never

28:42 can't, get, it. Never, feel, the, true, power. Never, felt, the, power. Never, stepped, in.

28:46 Well,, you, start, doing, the, speeches, in the No,, no,, no., It, was, quick., It, was, very quick. I looked at it and went, "Whoa." Cuz it was accidental. I got the accidental stash.

28:56 You, started, on, the, end,, started, shaving down the ends. You went, "Wait a second. Whoopsie.

29:02 Wait, a, goddamn, second, here. Uh,, yeah. Can't, believe, you, negged, my, dream, the other day.

29:07 I, mean, open, up, Shane., Told, him, I, had, a, nice dream, dude. I had a dream. It was usually my dreams are all like, you know, I'm in like a scary house that's all [ __ ] up. This was me just chilling in a nice shop eating an ice cream cone. I had a dream.

29:20 I, wonder, what, that, means. A, scary, house., I, don't, know,, dude., I'm in I'm in the same house. It's a worn down [ __ ] up house in a bad neighborhood.

29:27 You've, never, been, in, this, house, before? I'm in I'm in uh it reminds me of Melon Street when I I used to live in this house in West Philly.

29:34 It, reminds, me, of, it, but, it's, not, that you know it's like a slight like you know whatever. But it's that's my recurring dream. But then I finally got a break and I was just eating an ice cream cone and there's the lady who made me the ice cream cone was like describing what I was about to find. There's a chocolate ice cream cone. She goes, "Oo, there's peanut butter in there." And I'd bite it and go, "Ooh there is peanut butter." And I just ate the ice cream cone. It was a pleasant dream. Shane's like "Dude, you're a [ __ ] pervert. It's a sex dream." I was like "No, it wasn't. That was a sexual dream. Clearly

29:59 that, was, my, only, pleasant, dream, I've ever had. That wasn't peanut, butter., Peter,, you, in, the, dream to say this or

30:04 No,, no., He, He, called, me, to, let, me, know about it. I, was, just, telling, him, about, my, peanut butter ice cream dream. I was like

30:09 being, down, about, men, holding, hands,, but you're calling people with your ice cream. I could never.

30:14 We, were, talking, about, other, stuff. We, were, talking, for, a, while., He, called me during my constitutional.

30:19 He, was, taking, a, constitutional., I, just got done mine and uh yeah, I was just like I was like "Dude, you'll never believe it." I had like an actual plain like dog dream of just eating a cone.

30:29 Pause., But, it, was, just, eating, an, ice cream cone and it was just so enjoyable. He's like "That's sexual." I was like "It was not sexual."

30:34 Sexual. It, was, purely What, did, the, woman, look, like? I, don't, even, remember., It, was, like, a shadow. I swear to God, it was like a shadowy figure

30:41 just, being, like,, you, know,, there's peanut butter in there. And as soon as she would say it, I'd bite the co there is peanut butter. And she kept just giving me anything she would any treat she would mention would just

30:49 pop, up., She, was completely, n, satiating., Yeah., It, was completely sexual, dude.

30:54 Sweet, treats. Clearly, I, was, focused, on, the, ice, cream, cone, more than anything.

31:01 So,, it, was, nice. I, uh, I, had, a, good, one, for, you., This, was making me laugh.

31:06 Well, and, I, don't, think, it's, going, to, be, that funny. I just wrote it down in my notes uh pretty late one night this week.

31:12 Uh, I, thought, it, was, very, funny,, but, I don't think it'll translate to sobriety. But I was I was laughing at uh me going to a Halloween party in a Braveheart outfit.

31:23 Sick. And, paparazzi, getting, a, upskirt from the kilt. Getting stepping out and just having the sitting upright penis in a kilt. The sitting upright penis.

31:38 Getting, a, Lindsay, Lohan. I'm, trying, to, defend, myself., Skirt, keeps blowing up. So there's just pictures. the skirt up with the brave heart face.

31:47 The, classic, Maris, would, be, so, nice, if you're over the great just Marilyn, Monroe. Like it would be the most devastating a getting out of a car sitting upright picture of my penis would be.

32:00 It's, also, so, funny, just, to, freeball, into the kilt for no reason. Got a free ball? No. My

32:05 There's, a, musician, in, Australia, called Kieran J. Kalan who went to an award show and wore a kilt and you know you go past the press photography and they're all taking pictures and then someone goes lift the kilt. And he does it and he showed his penis. Beautiful penis.

32:17 Oh, but, uh, but, the, fury, on, the, left, was huge. What? The, left, was, mad.

32:22 The, left, was, really, mad, that, he, flashed his penis. It was, the, left, who, asked, them, to, flash, it. Obviously,

32:27 well,, it's, the, photographers,, but, people started lying. People started saying kids were there. Kids could have seen that penis. It was the first time I realized that many progressives are afraid of the penis.

32:37 There, is, a, fear., You, know,, it's, always get the nipples out, show the woman body, but a penis is somehow threatening.

32:44 People, were, afraid, of, our, bodies. Also,, why, would, there, be, kids, at, an awards?

32:47 No,, there, definitely, weren't., This, is This is an insane The, Nickelodeon. The, Nick, Choice, Awards., People, were getting slimed in a different way.

32:54 Nick, Choice, Awards., Show, us, your, dick. You, want, to, see, your, dick?, Take, your dick out.

33:02 Yeah,, it's, on, the, person, who, asked. Somebody asked to see it and he showed them.

33:05 The, photos, came, out, and, it's, all, of, them were censored. No one other than that saw the real penis.

33:10 Yeah. And, but, I, remember, he, had, to, apologize for having his penis out at an award show. There should be more penises at award show.

33:17 Decent, apology, though to, say, sorry., Forget, my, dick. Sorry, my, dick, was, out, at, the, award, show.

33:22 We, had, a, long I, say, sorry, my, dick, I, say, sorry, my, dick was out anytime it's out.

33:26 We, had, a, long, history, of, people, getting including, sexual, intercourse., I, go, I'm really sorry my penis is out.

33:31 I, think, we, should, normalize that's, gay, too, mal, nudity., I'm, from, a, I did a lot of comedy festivals

33:40 fringe, festivals., It, was, very, important part of the show to get the penis out at some point in the show. That's how people knew that you were taking risks and doing exciting things.

33:47 Really, Dane, Wthbone, would, get, his, penis, out. Dr. Brown, the Golier trained clown, he would get his penis out a lot. It was huge. And I in America, no one ever gets the No, I've never seen anyone

33:58 Bobby, L, still, holding, it, down, sometimes. He, gets, his, dick, out, on, stage.

34:01 Yeah. It's, a, less, threatening No., Yeah., It's, not, very, threatening,, but it's a He's taking chances.

34:08 I, hope, get, that's, a, good, move. Material's not working. You go, I got this whole base up my sleeve. I was ready to see a wild looking dick.

34:17 I, thought, it, would, be, funny, to, record, a comedy special shot from the waist. You come out, you do the whole hour and it's all shot from the waist up. The dick is out the whole show and then in the final shot, the good night everybody, you reveal, you pull back and you reveal the penis has been out the whole time. And that maybe explains how the audience is reacting for the rest of the Wouldn't that be a fun I'll never do it. I'll encourage to do it.

34:37 That, is, funny. People, screaming, mad, the, entire, show. But, you, never, address, it., You, just, keep addict.

34:42 Yeah. The, cuts, to, the, audience, would, be hilarious if the audience was going

34:49 I, did, I, started, I've, never, had, an erection on stage before. I don't I don't think

34:54 Nobody, has., No,, but, I, I, did, a, gig, in Omaha and um a woman stood up, a very drunk woman, and she uh she got her boobs out for no real reason. And then later she did it again. I was questioning why she wasn't removed after the first time, but people left her there. And there was a slight

35:12 You, must, have, been, killing,, dude. Slight, stirring. People, were, taking, their, tits, out.

35:18 It's, the, sort, of, thing, you, always, hope is going to happen and then it does and you go, "Now it's not the time."

35:22 Yeah., I'm, trying, to, You've, actually ruined the anecdote. Who, Who, is, she, with?

35:27 A, very, embarrassed, man. Oh, no., I, had, to, kick, a, lady, out, this weekend.

35:33 I, had, to, kick, an, elderly, lady, out. What, is, she, doing? Well,, hold, on., Did, you, get, hard?

35:36 Yeah,, true. I, It, was, a, the, very, faintest. You, pulled. I, had, a, There, was, It, moved., Yeah,

35:43 there, was, a, pulse there., Of, of, the, body, cannot, help,, but, a woman is standing and doing and showing. Was she attractive or

35:52 she, was, a, long, way, away? I, would, imagine, no. Yeah,, I, feel, like, I, should, stand, up., I just saw tits while I was doing stand up.

35:58 I, did, that., I, tried, not, to., I, said, "Madam, put, your, tits, away." But, it, was, a

36:03 They're, her., The, gentleman, should, have jumped in front of her tits. Yeah. Should, have, blocked, and, said,, "Come, on. They should have bodyguard this.

36:10 Excuse, me. Taking, the, bullet, for, the, president." You Yeah. I don't Usually a lady flashing her tits in public is not great.

36:18 Yes., Yeah. Yeah. But, I, think, if, it, had, only, happened, one time, I would have been fine. I could have moved on. But then when it repeated, she just kept

36:27 to, me., It, happened, to, me, in, Westchester. I, was, walking, past, the, bar

36:33 and, I, was, with, Okconor, and, we, were walking by and I guess people in there saw me and they're like, "Come in. Come in." So we were like, "All right, we'll come in for one." And a lady just ran outside and showed her tits.

36:42 Whoa. And, she, wasn't, It, wasn't, great. Yeah. It, was, terrible. That, stinks.

36:47 It, was, actually, like, scary. Yes., Yeah, but, you, think, it, that, would, be, very nice,

36:52 you, know?, No, I, mean,, how, are, you, supposed, to, even respond like somebody on the street showing you their tits? You go, "All right."

36:58 Yeah. Nice. Good, job. Thank, you., Appreciate, that. Yeah., Really?, There's, no, way, to, be, like, "Oh cool.

37:04 Great, tits." Yeah., Nice, job. Thank, you. You, got, to, like, And, then, like, Well,, you were you supposed to chat that person up or just be like

37:10 "Yeah,, I, just, literally, just, walked, as fast as I could past her." Yeah. Yeah.

37:15 Damn,, that's, devastating., If, you, showed your tits and the person was like "Anyway,

37:21 I, wish, I, had, another, set, of, hands." Four, thumbs, down. The, milk's, gone, bad.

37:29 Yeah., It's, like,, "I'm, sorry,, ma'am., What do you want me to do with that?"

37:33 Oh,, titty., [ __ ], you. Right, here., Thank, you., On, the, street. Should, have, for, real, called, the, cops. Like, sir, I've just been flashed. It's against the law.

37:43 Yeah., Sir,, I'd, like, to, report, a, sexual crime. My, girlfriend, was, with, me, and, she, was mad.

37:48 Really? I, was, like,, there's, nothing, to, be, mad at. She was a Yeah, she, was, nasty.

37:54 Yeah., Well, although, I'd, be, furious, if, a, dude, showed his dick to my girlfriend, I'd be like "What the fuck?"

38:00 I, guess, the, equivalent, for, a, dude, would just be cheeks. Butt, cheeks., Yeah., If, he, just, showed, his butt cheeks butt cheeks

38:05 I'd, be, [ __ ], pretty, peeved. Yeah., But, if, it, was, a, hideous, butt, you'd go [ __ ] kick him on the ass. kick his ass.

38:13 Dude,, if, someone, presented, their, hideous ass to my wife. Yeah, that'd be really mixed feelings about that.

38:19 You'd, laugh., That'd, be, a, good, time. I, don't, know., I, might, be, upset., If, I, was walking and it was just a big hairy butt presented to my wife, I'd be like, "Sir I might get a little resentful and be like "Sir

38:31 we're, talking, about, an, Arab, butt." An, arab, butt., Yeah. Full, beard. Scarab, beetle.

38:38 A, scuttle, butt. Talking, about, a, guard, dog, butt. Talk about red long hair.

38:45 There's, nothing, wrong, with James's, beard, sticking, out, of, his cheeks. There's, nothing, wrong, with, having, a, big red hairy butt.

38:53 You, got, a, Clifford. There's, nothing, wrong, with Nothing, wrong, with, having, it,, but, if, I if it just got

38:59 You, can't, show, it,, dude. No,, I, keep, it, discreet. Yeah,, you, keep, it, tucked.

39:03 You, got, a, hairy, butt, you, know?, I, I, suppose, not, globally,, but I more hairy than it used to be. Yeah kids are hairier as you get older cuz we've talked about that. You don't touch those hairs, haven't you? They've been growing.

39:15 I'm, not, getting, back., I'm, not, getting, it waxed. No, I'm, not, having, any,, man.

39:20 So,, what, was, it, at, first?, Just, like, ball hair that moved up and now you're getting ash cheek hair.

39:24 A, little, ball, hair. Yeah. Yeah. You, get, the, ball, head., You, get, the, tuft. I get the tufted up here.

39:30 It's, the, shaft, here, that, I, want, to, know. Top, of, the, crack. Like, a, like, a, rabbit, tail., It's, a

39:35 little, tough., Yeah., My, dad, always, called it an ass hair extension. My, I, have a, pretty, hairless, butt, though. My my like

39:45 We've, been, blessed, with, Irish, DNA. True., We, do, have, a, hairless, Irish, butts. We're like those cats with no hair butts.

39:52 We're, like, those, cats, with, no, hair. Yeah. But, yeah,, no,, I, had, a, lady, I, didn't, kick a lady out. I felt terrible. It was like an older lady. She just wouldn't stop talking. And I had to be like, "All right, dude. Like for real. You have to go."

40:02 And, I, always, gave, a, lot, of, chances. And, I, eventually, was, like, "Dude,, you're pissing everyone off. you got to go. And she was like acting like I don't give a [ __ ] I'm like, "All right, we'll just beat it then." She was like, "I'm a pillar in my community."

40:13 Started, tearing, up, and, I, was, like instantly I fold. I go, "Oh, never mind ma'am. You can stay." And then they're like, the bouncer was like, "No, [ __ ] it. We're getting her out of here." Then her husband tried to stay

40:23 and, I, kicked, him, out., He, said,, "Get, out of here, you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] Get out of here."

40:26 No, way. I, always, encourage, I, always, encourage the male the male to stay. Yeah,, but, that, lady, couldn't, be, out there by herself. She was going to cause problems. I'm like, "Get out there, bro. That's your problem. go deal with that.

40:36 Let, it, cause, problems. Sean, was, on, stage, this, week, and, I removed the man from the room.

40:41 Did, you? It, was, a, very, drunk, child. He, seemed, very, young., He, might, have, been of age, but he and he was drunk before he got there, but it was at the Velvita room and Sean. He had been very chatty during my set and then he was saying bizarre things to you.

40:56 He, didn't, like, you, at, all., So,, I, took him out and he You, have, that, effect, on, people.

40:59 Fronted, up. Yeah., I'm, not, very, likable. He, was, getting, ready, to, fight.

41:03 He, puffed, his, butt, hairs, at, you. Oh,, yeah., He, gave, me, a, little, He, didn't do like a fake I'm going to hit you. But he did he made himself large. He was

41:10 Is, it, squabbbling, up? Yeah,, he, started, to, bristle. How'd, you, do?, How'd, you, get, him, out?

41:16 I, said, I, asked, the, audience, to, give, him a round of applause. I thought that would soften the blow. And I said, "We got to come on."

41:22 You, personally, kicked, him, out. Yeah., No, one, else, was, Someone, else, was running the bar and then it was me. I had to

41:27 and, he, left. What, What, was, he, saying, to, you?, He, kept calling me a [ __ ] and saying

41:34 this, is, a, problem., He's, material., He kept calling me a [ __ ] Yeah,, he, kept, calling, me, a, [ __ ], and, he was just mad. I don't I couldn't even really guess why he was

41:42 the, woman, he, was, with, was, very, upset. I, Yeah,, I, think, that's, I, think, I, kind, of went too hard at that.

41:48 Well,, dude,, there's, a, lot, of, young, guys mean,, but, I, was, like a, lot, of, guys, on, Coke, at, the, shows., I've noticed

41:53 I, was, saying, hi, to, people, after, the shows. You get a lot. They, go,, you, want to, do, some, blow?, No, thanks. Yeah, it I don't even get asked but you look at these dudes and you're like, damn, bro, you were gked out. You catch the [ __ ] like the white ring around the nostrils. It's like

42:06 no,, I, was, with, you, in, Pittsburgh, where, a guy wanted to do Yeah. Uh,, blah., He, was, very, upfront, about, it.

42:12 Yeah., Yeah,, you, get, that, a, lot. You, We, were, very, discreet., You, said, "Thank you so much."

42:18 Right, now, I'm, not, joking., I, get, offered, Coke, at 90% of the bars I go to. Every time. Every time someone goes, "Yo

42:26 yo, come, on,, man. It's, a, blow., Come, on,, man., Such, a, funny way to do it.

42:30 I'm, not, even, doing, shots., I'm, enjoying, a couple bruskies. Come on now. No, cocaine.

42:36 Take, it, easy,, boys. I, mean,, you, know,, once, in, a, blue, moon, I'll go Yeah.

42:40 Yeah. Yeah., Let's, see, what, happens., And, then, uh, severe depression kicks in.

42:46 Yeah. It's, good, stuff." Yeah., That's, That's, the, It's really, all, it, does.

42:51 Yeah., Just, get makes, you, pretty, say, you're, fun., You're having a good time for a minute and then just sad.

42:56 Yeah,, sounds, not, fun. I'm, glad, Sean's, got, off, of, it., He, had, a bad problem with it.

43:01 Sean, had, a, real, issue, with, it., Every [ __ ] other week he was like, "I did some coke."

43:08 Glad, he's, cleaning, up, his, act., That, was really clean, it, up., What, would, your, mommy, and daddy say?

43:13 They'd, be, devastated, to, know, their little Shawn was down here snorting up lines like he's Scarface

43:18 thinking, he's, a, tough, guy, around, town. Someone's going to show them this.

43:23 No, one's, going, to, show, them, this. Someone, Someone Well,, you, beat, the, habit., They're, going to, be, proud, of, you., They're, going to say,

43:29 "Our, sons, are, recovering, uh, you." There's, moles, out, there, in, my, family, friends, and just circles that tell my parents everything that's said about them.

43:40 That, stinks., My, dad, gets, reports. Whenever I say anything gay about my dad about it, what's that?

43:46 Whenever, I, say, anything, gay, involving, my dad, he'll it'll eventually like two months later he'll be like, "Heard you're uh saying a bunch of weird stuff on your podcast. What the hell are you talking about? I I heard about some weird [ __ ] you were saying."

43:57 I'm, like,, "I, don't, What, are, you, talking about?" And I'll like have to go back. I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ] Yeah, my bad."

44:01 Yeah., They, all, They, all, listen. Yeah. And, then, you, go,, "Please, stop listening." It's like "I miss you. It's the only time I get to hear your voice." And go dead. It's a classic misdirect.

44:14 That, was, nice. It's, comedy, 101. I, saw, that., That, was, nice. I, was, like,, "Grandma,

44:21 that, was, good, stuff, right, there." This, episode, is, brought, to, you, by, Prize Pick. You and I make decisions every day, Matt. But on Prize Pick, being right can get you paid, baby. Don't forget, Prize Pick is also available in 40 plus states, including te Texas California, and Georgia. Make sure to check it out. Download the app and get your basketball picks in today.

44:42 With, the, basketball, season, starting, some players have been looking real scary on the court. Please riff about any players and picks you might take.

44:50 Oh,, I, like, uh, VJ, Edgecom, has, been, very fun to watch. Yeah,, I, can, see, that.

44:55 He's, a, young, he's, a, young, fellow, on, the on the Philadelphia 76ers and I like watching him. I would like to pick him.

45:01 Oh,, I', I'd, like, to, pick, Anthony, Edwards. That's I would just go with him. Yeah. I'm feeling spooky today. So, I'm going to mix that basketball pick with a football pick. That's spooky. That makes sense. Let's go with Cam. Oh, they wanted me to say Cam Scataboo. He's been a menace, but he got uh severely injured this past week. So

45:19 Oh,, no. So,, they, were, wrong. Oh,, yeah., You, got, to, take, that, back. So,, who, would, you, go, with, instead, of Cam?

45:27 Matt,, you've, missed, your, line,, dude. Yeah,, these, picks, are, spooky, as, I, would say a giant skeleton. and the 10 foot skeletons.

45:36 Oh, boy, those, pics, are, as, scary, as, 10, foot skeletons. Yeah. Download, the, Prize, Pix, app, today, and, use code drench to get $50 in lineups after your first $5 lineup. That's code drench. Get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

45:47 Prize to be right. Take, it, away,, Matt. Guys,, here's, where, you, can, see, me perform live. I'll be at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. 117 118. That's going to be fun. Comedy on State Madison, Wisconsin. I believe the I believe Friday sold out. We'll see. But 11:14, 11:15, come to that. And then the Funny Bone Comedy Club, Syracuse, New York. 12:19, 12:20. Guys, please come. Then I have a I'm going to announce a larger tour very soon. So

46:19 Oh,, that's, exciting. Yeah., Stay. November, 7th,, I'll, be, in, San, Francisco. November 8th, I'll be in Sacramento. Come on, y'all. Please.

46:28 I, steal, a, microphone., Thank, you. November 1st and 2nd, I'll be in Buffalo. November 5th, Oklahoma City. And then the next night, Tulsa. Then Huntsville, Nashville, and Washington DC. Then I sleep.

46:42 Please, come, to, Optimum, Noctis, November 4 please. Optimum, Noctis, November, 4th.

46:46 Creek, in, the, Cave., Thank, you, very, much. Thank, you. Happy, Halloween. Oh,, yeah., Creek, in, the, Cave,, too., I'll be

46:50 happy, Halloween tomorrow. Very spooky laugh, Sean. Yeah., Almost, Halloween, night., I, just want to have a little

47:01 JS., I, found, out, this, week fully, activated. I, found, out I, was, talking, to, an, LSU, fan., Is, it, LSU? The Louisiana

47:12 LSU, just, lost,, didn't, they? They, did, lost, and, they, fired, their, coach and they paid him $54 million.

47:17 But, I, found, out, about, what, the, the, music they would play. Suck, that, tiger, dick.

47:21 Suck, that., They, bring, out, a, tiger, and and and a and a 100,000 people scream "Suck that tiger dick, bitch." It's very catchy. It's a good song.

47:31 But, it's, I, didn't, the, variance, of, the, I mean, at Notre Dame, they lift people up and they take a little child and they lift him up and down. They say, "Well

47:38 well,, no, names, are,, you, know, good, familyfriendly, school.", But yeah,, this, isn't, [ __ ], Louisiana.

47:43 Shut, that, target, dick,, [ __ ], It's, very catchy. And they banned it. And then I found out Lamar, what's his name? Odell Odell Beckham.

47:51 Yeah, there, was, a, he, the, man, who, used, to, play for them. He went and conducted the band and paid the fine because he was so he wanted to hear them scream.

47:58 McAfee, did, it, at, game, day. I, knew, all, he, did, was, sing, the, opening notes and people took over. He knew what would happen.

48:05 But, no,, the, their, coach, they, fired, was Bryant Kelly. Yes., So he, used, to, be, Notre, Dame's coach. Notre

48:09 Dame, man. What? And, now, he, has, $54, million. He, said,, "I'm, gonna, go, somewhere, else where I can compete and to win a national title and I can't do it here at Notre Dame." And he went to LSU and he stunk. He [ __ ] the bed.

48:20 Yeah., Didn't, they, I, just, saw, him, lose terribly. The game was on this weekend.

48:24 You, know, what, you'd, like?, They, have, a The governor of Louisiana gave like a press conference about it. It's I had no idea he sounded the way he does. He's got full Creole.

48:32 Does, he, really, like, what, we, need, to, do here? Find a new coach now. You know we need to money is going from the people to the It's incredible.

48:42 CJ,, it's, CJ, Landry, who's, a, big, LSU, fan and he told me about Coach O. Actually I think the governor's name is Landry.

48:49 Well,, I'm, sure, there, are., He's, part, of the noble French families of that state. But this coach O wants to come back. I love this.

48:55 Who's, that?, The, real, jacked, up., Yeah, you sure. Oh, okay. He's, got, the, Creole, as, well.

48:59 We, need, him. Yeah., Go a press conference here. But, he, was, uh, I, think, he, was, laying, with women, which was

49:07 I, saw, the, photo, which, is, pretty, awesome. Students, some, students., Turns, out, a, lot, of, those SEC coaches I've heard rumblings.

49:14 Oh,, no., that, they, they're, not, afraid, to kiss some of the students. Really?

49:18 Some, of, the, southern, bells. It's, tough. Allegedly. Actually, what's, also, because, like, they're, I, could see them being like, "Babe, I'm on the road. It's like we live there.

49:28 You're, kissing, the, girls, where, we, live." You're like "Well, okay. Now that you bring that up, I guess you got a point there."

49:34 Yeah. Kissing, the, coach. I'm, not, accusing, anybody,, but, Lane, Kein took a very

49:40 interesting, photo. Let, me, see. He, took, uh, he, took, some, hot, yoga, on campus. I believe.

49:47 Yeah,, they, got, to, bring, those, guys, to Guantanamo. Bro, I've look, I've done hot yoga before and I've never had good intentions.

49:55 I'll, be, honest. No,, of, course. Perving, the, entire, time. I, needed, someone, to, put, a, sack, over, my head and drag me

50:02 out, on, Instagram. But, uh that's, a, real, bad, one. Yeah. Yeah,, man., I, mean,, it's, Yeah., Been there.

50:12 Good, lord., I've, been, down, that, horny path before a, lot. It's, funny, in, the, class, too., They, will say, "Guys, I like everyone eyes forward and you're just like my bad."

50:21 Do, they, say, that, in, the, class? Yeah. No, accusations, to, the, KIF, man. Obviously, not., But

50:26 honestly,, we, got, our, eye, on, you, right now. Posting, the, yoga, pick, is Did, he, post, that, or, someone, post?

50:31 He, posted, that, bro., Thirst. I, believe, he, posted, that. Damn., He's, got, a, tight, body, though.

50:38 Yeah,, he's, he's, shredded., He's, shredded. Definitely. I guess he'd be a ectomorph I believe.

50:45 Oh,, perhaps. It's, probably, an, ectomorph, if, I, had, to guess. Or maybe endo. I forget. But

50:49 bit, of, an, honor. I'm, on, I'm, on, a, I'm, on, a, powerlifting journey right now.

50:54 That's, awesome. Yeah,, I've, been, beefing, with, my, wife., I really think my tea is getting raised from power powerlifting.

51:00 Oh,, good. And, she's, been, like,, "Dude,, what, the fuck?" She's, been, more, angry.

51:02 She's, been, getting, Yeah,, I've, been, Dude, I've been laying, down, the, law.

51:05 Laying, down, the, law., She's, really, She's pissed at me as we speak. She, I, was, I, don't, even, know, what, was going on. I was just like I was asking her to order Uber Eats for me on the like when we were coming back and uh I was like, "Dude, get this." And they there's like an option they couldn't do to customize and she's like, "Well, I already ordered it." Cuz I was like "Fuck that. I'll just go to Sprouts and grab food." She's like "I already ordered it." And I looked at her phone and she had hit buy, but you got to hit like two more things. And I was like "You're lying. You didn't buy it."

51:29 You, can, hit, back. She, was, like, "Why, are, you, saying, I'm lying?" I was like "I don't know." But yeah, I'm I'm jacked out.

51:34 Maybe, that's, where, your, dream, came, from. Ice, cream., Just, a a, woman, just, giving, you, whatever, treats you wanted.

51:40 No,, you, know what, it's, probably, now. Meanwhile,, you're, struggling, with GrubHub,

51:43 you, know. Could, be., Although, there, is, a, thing called ice cream maxing which you eat ice cream to like bulk. Could be that too.

51:51 I've, been, doing, that., I'm, telling, you that. Yeah. Now you mentioned getting down to the ice cream parlor.

51:56 Really lovely, waffle, cones, down, there., It's, a good walk with the children and then you have a little uh you have a little ice cream

52:02 stuff, with, kids, cuz, you're, like, let's get you guys a treat. We'll get you guys a treat. Every time I'm home, I nieces nephews. I'm like, "Dude, you guys want to go to [ __ ] Dairy Queen, though?

52:11 Let's, go." I, I've, only, been, to, Dairy, Queen, once, and I didn't realize that they did that for everybody. The uh the milkshake.

52:18 You, thought, it, was I, just, thought, it, was, an, incredible display of faith in the product. But they all

52:25 Oh. do, this., I, can't, think, of, another, fast food place where they give you a little show on the way out the door.

52:29 Blizzards, are, nice,, too. Yeah, Blizzard's, rule. [ __ ], with, Blizzards., Did, you, see, the, man who went to get a McFlurry and they told him the mixing machine was broken?

52:36 They're, always, [ __ ], broken. But, then, he, sneaks, back, there, and, he uses the mixing machine and goes, "All right, is it broken?"

52:42 No,, that's, got, to, be, stage., How, the, [ __ ] do they get back? Actually, you probably get past that.

52:46 You, just, walk, right, cuz, no, one's, at, the counter anymore cuz it's all the screens.

52:49 Yeah. Videos, of, the, people, jumping, through, the drive-thru window. Yes. That's, a, good, trend, lately., They, jump out there and they play loud music and they just dance with all the fast food employees and get

53:01 Did, you, have, the, trend, here, where, people were buying soft serve ice creams and then throwing them through the window?

53:06 Yeah., Fire, in, the, hole. Fire, in, the That, was, old, school, dude. My, friends, participated, in, that.

53:10 It's, not, right. It's, not, right., It is, not, right. Actually,, I, did, not, participate,, but they took my mom's car and I got in trouble for it.

53:18 Did, a, fire, alarm because, they, do, have, cameras, and, they go, "There's the license plate. Send the cops to his house.

53:24 Mom,, it, wasn't, me., They, took, my, car., So I was like 20. Yeah,, that, was, I, don't, think, we, ever, did a fire in the hole. H there could have been one. I don't know. But

53:36 yeah,, you, get, a, the, biggest, soda, you, can get. Yep. Like, a, 68, ounce, [ __ ], Coke.

53:42 It, after fire, in, the, hole. After, CKY, came, out,, it, must, have happened.

53:47 Yeah. Like, an, epidemic, for, sure., So, mean. CKY, hit, the, [ __ ], throwing, a, body, off a bridge under car to cars. Yeah.

53:54 That's, insane., Yeah,, that's, really dangerous. Yeah,, they, would, just, make, a, dummy, throw it over a bridge so it would hit a car when it was coming by

54:02 and, make, CKY Bamar, Jar. Bamar, Jerry. Oh, yeah. It, was, like, their, their, early, video, of their stunts. Shopping cart, you know [ __ ] like like rolling in the shop.

54:10 It, was, awesome. I, used, to, throw, golf, balls, in, the highway. That's, fun.

54:14 That's, not, a, good, one., That's, a, bad, one. That's, a, real, bad, one., But, it's, fun, when you're a kid. It's fun. Snowballs was the best. I mean, we've covered it, I think, a million times, but

54:23 unbelievable., Hitting, cars, with snowballs. Yeah. [ __ ], rules. So, fun., They, get, out, and, chase, you, and you got to run away. It is funny because I know a couple people who have gotten tackled and got I witnessed a guy getting his ass kicked

54:33 but, I, was, I, was, in, the, car, as, the, adult and this guy got out and was like, "Fuck that." And we just chased this kid down just pushed his face in the snow, made him cry.

54:41 Nice. Yeah,, it, was, pretty, [ __ ] How, much, are, you, allowed, to, retaliate against a child? Because you got to be able to do something.

54:48 You, I, watched, a, guy, kick, their, ass., I think I think you can kick a kid's ass.

54:51 Face, wash, them., You, know I, you, know, when, there's, like, a, gang, of children

54:56 and, you, think, if, I, get, into, a, fight, with this gang of children I think some of them are 14.

55:00 Yeah. If, I, win, the, fight, I, look, very, bad, or, if I even do any damage in the fight but they beat me up. That's much worse.

55:07 Just, body, body., You, got, to, just, go, to the body the whole time. Yeah. Yeah., It, was, on, it, was, on, site, when, I was like growing up. We would like walk down the street and like older kids would drive by call us names. If we like threw something at their car they'd pop the doors and chase you down and they'll beat your ass. So, I think there's something good about that.

55:23 Yeah. Especially, you, have, like, young, punks., If they're like young punks doing stuff and you get out, you can get out of the car I think, and just whoop their ass.

55:28 Yeah, it's, good. Their, parents, will, probably, side, with you back, then,, for, sure., Yeah., Now,, I, don't know.

55:33 Now, they're, pressing, charges. Yeah., If, you, whooped, the, young, punk's ass now, I think you'd Yeah.

55:38 Their, mom, would, be, all, up, in, your, face. I, was, I, was, looking, into, Curtis, SWA.

55:43 Who, that? The, uh, guy, running, for, mayor, in, uh, New York. Yes., Yeah., He, might, be, one, of, the funniest people. Yeah.

55:52 Alive. I, didn't, I, didn't, Breakfast, Club interview yesterday. What? He, [ __ ], rules.

55:57 I, didn't, know, he, did, the, Breakfast, Club. Yeah,, dude., He's, awesome, on, He, also, he kind of makes you want to vote for him.

56:02 Really? Yeah., He's, pretty, He's, hilarious., He, got shot by uh he was talking [ __ ] on the Gotti. He had like an AM radio show where he would just be like he would talk about the mob in New York like it was sports. He would like cover it and he would just name everybody. He'd be like, "This is the guy. This is the restaurant they blew up.

56:19 Yeah. This, is, what, they're, doing., Like, he, just he knew everything. And uh so one day Gotti sent a bunch of guys with baseball bats to his house and they beat him. They beat him with bats, dude.

56:30 Then, he, kept, doing, it., So, they, had, a, guy pretend to be a cab driver, wait outside his house, pick him up, and turn around and [ __ ] shoot him. He got shot five times and jumped out of the cab.

56:42 According, to, him,, out, of the, window, of the cab. This, guy, rules. Yeah,, he's, a, [ __ ], man., And

56:47 I, didn't, know, he, was, running. Here's, the, thing, that, tops, it, off., He

56:50 was, a, night, manager, at, a, McDonald's, in the Bronx. Unbelievable. You, talk, about, fire, in, the, hole.

56:56 Yeah. That's, [ __ ], That, might, be, the, worst job I've ever heard. That's, unbelievable.

57:01 And, so, that's, where, he, So, he, founded, the Guardian Angels cuz, they, had, uh

57:06 like, they, started, defunding, police, back then. I think it was the 70s or 80s. So there was no cops on the subways at night. So everyone in the Bronx was just getting really [ __ ] up.

57:17 So, his, night, shift, crew, and, him,, the Mickey De's workers what after, they, clocked, out, would, ride, the subway trains and [ __ ] people up that were out of line, dude. They rule. He rules. What's the

57:32 He, [ __ ], rules. Yeah., I, mean,, that's, I, mean,, dude,, the bat attack is hilarious.

57:36 And, he, loves, animals., He, hates, kill shelters. He's like, that's one of my platforms. We're shutting that down.

57:41 Oh,, that's, awesome., He's, adopted, 17 cats, I think. It's, It's, a, lot, of, cats.

57:45 A, lot, of, cats, dude., Yeah. New York, doesn't, deserve, him., They, won't get behind. They won't rally around this great man.

57:52 Yeah., That's, kind, of, [ __ ] But, he's, going, to, he's, going, to, cost Cuomo the election

57:56 cuz, he, won't, drop, out. Cuomo's, no, way, Cuomo, will, win, anyway. If, he, dropped, out,, there'd, be, a, chance.

58:02 You, think? Yeah,, cuz, I, think, most, of, the, people that would vote he SE was running as a Republican.

58:07 Yeah,, I, got, you., Most, of, them, would, side with Quomo over Mamani. Mamami.

58:12 Mandami. Oh,, Mami. Yeah., M., I, think, Mandami, probably, will win. Yeah,, definitely.

58:19 Yeah., I, don't, I, don't, know. He's, got, all, the, celebs, back, at, him, dude.

58:22 I, know., I, I, didn't, like, Man. I, I, think, it's, cool, when, comedians support politicians publicly.

58:28 Yeah., I, just, think, he's, a, [ __ ] crybaby, dude. He's a crybaby. I saw him crybaby and I was like

58:35 what, was, he, crybabying?, Oh, 911. [ __ ] deal with 911 crybaby. I'm like bro, shut up, man.

58:42 I, was, just, like,, dude,, we, have, problems. I get it. That must have sucked at the time, but also like, bro, way to make 911 all about you, man. Like, I just don't like that [ __ ] It's 20 years ago man. You got stuffed in a locker cuz you know, people didn't understand the difference in the Middle East. I don't know.

58:59 I, mean,, that'd, be, Yeah, I, get, it., It, wasn't, my, dad., My, dad, had the terrorist hunting permit on his uh bumper seat for a while

59:06 but, I, I, didn't, bully, any, Indian, kids after 911. A, lot, of, a, lot, of, Indian, guys, love, to [ __ ] cry about post 911. It's like dude,, we, were, all, hurting., All right., We were all We were all

59:17 I, had, one, difficult, post, 911, moment, at school. What, happened, to, you? I, mean,, we, were, all, finding, out, about what Islam was at the same time.

59:25 There, hadn't, been, a, real, cause, to, know about it. And I think my mom said, you know, she was trying to do a nice thing but she didn't really, she said something like, you know, it's not all Muslims, but she didn't know the word for it, the Muslims who were. So, she said, there's, you know, there's the good Muslims and there's the Allah Muslims. She was just associating. She was going, the Allah Muslims. And there was a Muslim girl at our school. And I said to her, "Are you a you're a Muslim or one of these Allah Muslims?" She goes, "No, we love Allah." I was that point I was like, "I can't believe this girl doesn't have to be here with us.

59:56 She's an ally Muslim everybody. I, just, I, was, shocked, and, I, let, her, know I don't think that's good.

1:00:05 I, would, have, been, in, this,, you, know, year seven year, six,, I, was, 12,, 11,, eight.

1:00:11 So,, it's, important. I've, never, even, thought, of, you, as, a young boy before. That's so fun to think about.

1:00:16 It's, just, it's, this. No,, it's this, is, a, more, relaxed, version., Yeah. Oh, you one of those Allah Muslims.

1:00:27 Yes,, I, love, Allah. Get, her, out, of, here. It, just, seemed, like, a, safety, problem.

1:00:34 Yeah,, that, was, the, one, thing, though. When I saw him hitting that, it was like, bro, come on, man. Hit me with some city plans. Don't hit me with 20 years ago [ __ ] I don't know.

1:00:43 I, look, forward, to, seeing, his, grocery store. Actually, the the thing that got me grocery stores

1:00:48 I, didn't, realize, they, wanted, to, shut down gifted and talented programs at public schools.

1:00:53 That's, crazy. That's, one, of, his, policies., You, have, a school, you have a poor school full of poor kids. You get one kid who's like, I like reading and I'm good at maths.

1:01:01 And, so, you, just, you, have, one, teacher, at these schools usually who can go, "All right, we're you're the only one who wants a future. We're going to try and give it to you." Yeah.

1:01:07 And, they're, gonna, shut, it, down., That's his plan. I mean, this is because, I, guess, he's, saying, it's, not Well, yeah. He's probably gonna give it to like free lunch program instead. I mean,

1:01:17 what, was, that?, A, fart., Is, it an excitement part of free lunch? Free, lunch., Farted off the free lunch.

1:01:27 What, the, hell, was, that? That, was, nothing., That, was, nothing. Well,, Mary,, you, definitely, love, mom Dami.

1:01:33 I, don't, know., I, just, I, don't, like, him. You, don't, like, him? No. What, the, hell?

1:01:37 He's, out, of, nowhere. He's, from, Uganda. He's, out, of, nowhere. He's, just, random.

1:01:42 He's, out, of, nowhere., I, don't, like, him. He's super new. He's, mad, new. He's, too, new.

1:01:47 Why? He's, green. He's, just, too, new,, you, know?, Yeah,, he's green. That's, what, hit, him, with.

1:01:53 He's, green. Sua, hit, him, with, it, on, the, in, the debate. Sua, was, dominating, the, debate,, dude.

1:02:00 Yeah,, they, I, only, heard, like he, was, like,, "You, could, write, down, all of Mandami's accomplishments on a single napkin. You could write You couldn't write down all of Cuomo's failures if you had the entire New York Public Library. Ah

1:02:14 everyone's, like,, "Oh,, cuz, everyone, hates Guomo." So, SA was kind of like Sa is not going to win, so he's kind of everybody's boy. Everyone's like, "Dude [ __ ]

1:02:25 yeah., I, don't, know., I'm, curious." Honestly,, I, don't, know, anything. No,, the, the, public, grocery, store., I'll be interested to see how that works out because I'm not inherently against it. I just want to see if it works. So, I know they've tried this a bunch of times and I feel like it's kind of ended disastrously, but I'm curious to see if you can get the like cuz I don't know what that would do to like, you know, a private grocery store if you're just like, "Yeah, we got apples for

1:02:47 [ __ ], 40, seconds." I, mean,, you, just, have, the, one, affordable butter or there's got to be a requirement to be able to get access to the free grocery store.

1:02:56 True. Which, will, probably, just, be, SNAP,, which is Isn't that already It's, winding, up.

1:03:01 I, don't, know, anything, about, it. Government, is, still, shut, down., still shut down. You talking about the Democrat shutdown?

1:03:07 Yes. Every, day., Trump's, working, so, hard during the government. The Democrat shut down.

1:03:15 Japan, gave, him, some, golf, clubs., He's fired up. I, got, I, saw, one, of, the, White, House things they put out. I think they did like an everyday I'm hustling thing. Which is Trump walking around the halls.

1:03:24 They, really, need during, the, government. They, really, need, to, stop, making, [ __ ] hype videos. So many literally the ICE hype videos bother me so much.

1:03:35 Yeah., Well,, it's, just, funny, too, like, if say like you know you're [ __ ] from the shutdown to just like all of a sudden get like a cool song with Trump walking through the hallway and be like never mind. We got this. This is sick.

1:03:45 Yeah,, never, mind., This is, so, tight. I, I, don't, need, to, eat, in, November.

1:03:51 But, yeah,, public, grocery, store., I'll, be curious. one of the uh one of the elections for Isn't that isn't that

1:04:01 Wouldn't, that, be, November? Oh,, could, be, a, good, move, for, the, Dems, to keep the shutdown going.

1:04:12 Yeah., I, mean,, whatever, it, takes. I, can't, go, to, our, sweet, national, parks.

1:04:19 Yeah. Yeah., Only, serious, benefits, will, run out. I think you can definitely go

1:04:23 during, the, election, though., Yeah,, I think they run out in November. It's, a, good, move, to, keep, those

1:04:28 keep, those, closed, and, get, people, move. Starve the poor. Starve, the, poor., Get, them, out., Get, them out to vote. They need to stop the violence to vote.

1:04:36 Yeah,, true. Dang., That'd, be, crazy, if, it, really, was like that level of tactics where it's like we're going to start hitting like medieval French.

1:04:43 It, truly, probably, is. Just, starve., Get, some, people, some, people hangry. Yeah, because I was listen the hangry populace would be

1:04:50 I, think, Democrats, are, honestly, voting for the shutdown. That's, weird,, man.

1:04:55 I, think, a, few, of, them, are, to, make, sure it's still going. I, could, be, wrong, cuz, the, I, don't, think the Republicans have enough votes to keep the shutdown going.

1:05:03 I, mean,, dude, so, it, does, require, a, few, Democrats, to vote. Whatever., I, don't, again

1:05:09 the, Republicans, are, voting, to, pass, it. You need 60% is my understanding. You need a

1:05:13 Well,, yeah., What, I've, seen, is, that I, don't, know, anything. Well,, I, think, the, pubs, were, like,, "Yo, let's there's a bill they're trying to do and the Dems are like, "No, we need you know, we need to fire the all that." I think the stuff they took out from Doge, they're like "Fire the [ __ ] back up." So, I don't [ __ ] know either. But if if if that is the case where it's some classic like let the people get a little, hungry,, I, don't, I, don't know. That'd be pretty [ __ ]

1:05:35 I, think, air, traffic, controllers, are going to have to start working for free.

1:05:39 Really? That, was, I, think, that, was, the, next, step. No, it's, not, good. That's, a, bit, of, a, difficulty.

1:05:47 I'm, guessing, it'd, be, like, a, big, IOU., I guess they'd get their money which, some

1:05:53 Well,, good, luck, to, everybody, dealing with the government shutdown. Is, the, government, shutdown, still, costing us flyovers? That's the real thing. I'm not worried about the hungry the 40 million people. Uh

1:06:02 they'll, figure, it, out. Not, getting, food. But, it, is, flyovers, for, sure.

1:06:05 I, need, flyovers. Yeah,, that's, [ __ ], [ __ ] That's [ __ ] And I I also I need I need war with Venezuela.

1:06:14 Those, are, the, things, I, need. Yeah., We, we're, think, Dude,, remember, I said we're going to go to war with the cartels.

1:06:19 That's, not, Venezuela,, but, we're, they're talking like cartel wars. They're, blowing, up, boats, saying, those are cartel boats.

1:06:26 Yeah,, man., That's, that's, coming., I I, knew, that, was, down, the, pike,, man.

1:06:30 You're, saying, you, called, it? I, called, it. When? Dude,, like, a, year, ago., I, was, like,, we're going to go to war with the cartels. And then

1:06:36 I, think, he, did, that, a, year, ago., I, think he named them terrorists. Really?

1:06:40 Like, I, guess, it, would, have, been, this administration because, my, my, my, prediction, was, that that way the United States can control the opioid production and then legalize heroin here and then cure homelessness opioid crisis by handing out basically government controlled heroin.

1:06:55 So, it's, like, they're, going, to, have they're going to attack the you know all the people down in Mexico doing the cartels and they're going to take over the supply and just be like look let's just like legalize this and control it.

1:07:06 You, want, legalize, it?, They, don't legalize legalize legalize, the, crocodile, man.

1:07:11 You, need, the, Charlie, Charlie, Sheen, the homeless. Start, [ __ ], slowly,, you, know,, making it less potent.

1:07:19 Yeah. They, don't, respond, well, to, that., They usually Yeah., I, mean,, it's, also, there's, no, way it's getting less potent. They have they have something stronger than fentanyl now.

1:07:27 Yeah. They, have, the, new, thing, that's, like, 50 times stronger than fentanyl, which was like 50 times stronger than heroin.

1:07:32 So,, yeah,, they're, they're, still, rocking. They're rocking in the free world for sure.

1:07:35 They, are., They, really, are., Keep, on. Imagine, getting, to, the, point, where heroin is not enough.

1:07:41 I, just, I, mean, heroin, seems what?, Heroin, is, the, easygoing, relaxed one now.

1:07:47 It's, just, heroin. Yeah,, I, think, heroin's, like, Yeah,, I guess it's not enough. I guess it's more of a gentleman's drug now.

1:07:53 Sophisticated. Well,, there, was, also, people, say, when, you have things illegal and you crank the pressure up in terms of like, you know you go you get so much jail time for heroin. So then it incentivizes making things stronger in smaller doses so you can sneak less of it. to get more bang for your buck. So, I think as long as it's illegal, they're going to keep ramping that up.

1:08:10 I've, been, watching, Singapore, video,, Lee Kwanu, I think was his name, but the Singaporey prime minister for like he ran a one party state in Singapore for a long time. And people were saying "You've got to stop executing people who come to the country with drugs. How many families are lost to these drugs? How many people are killed because we don't kill?" He was a hard man.

1:08:33 You, love, it. Why?, I, I, don't, approve, you, penalty., I, do love I love a strong man.

1:08:42 I've, been, in, trouble, for, this, before., I don't know what it is that comes out of me. I Every time I see a strong charismatic man say bold steps have to be taken. I think

1:08:51 I, like, that. Trump, is, getting, into, that, now, where he's talking about like killing drug traffickers, he's like we'll kill them. They'll be dead. And it's just he's getting into that back.

1:08:59 He, mentioned, that, a, while, ago. Yeah., He, did, that, recently,, too. Bringing, it, back.

1:09:02 Yeah,, he, brought, it, back., Yeah,, cuz, that guy Yeah, that one guy gets to do it all the time where he's just like we they just started killing all like the drug traffickers. Dwarte or whatever the [ __ ] his name is.

1:09:12 Uh, Duterte, I, don't, know. He's, gone, now, though,, I, think. Is, he, out?, But, yeah,, Trump's, talking., He wants to get in on that action, but he wants the bold man like kill him.

1:09:20 He's, been, [ __ ], bombing, some, boats. Have you seen that? No., The, cartel, boat.

1:09:23 That's, a, big, video, as, well. Just, [ __ ], drone, striking, any, Yeah. Is, I, didn't, know, Venezuela, was, a, big cartel hub as well.

1:09:31 Uh, I, don't, know., Colombia, is, and, they border it, I think. And then I, guess, yeah,

1:09:36 but, no,, it's, it's, all, I, think, it's, an excuse for some reason to go to war with Venezuela.

1:09:42 [ __ ], what's, his, name, was?, Who's, the gay guy from South Carolina? Lindsey, Graham, was, just, calling, for, it.

1:09:49 Really? Yeah,, they, really, want, I, think, our, fleet is going to Venezuela right now.

1:09:55 Oh, crap. What, the, hell? That, would, be They, better, not. It's, not, good., You, Yeah,, we're, not, We don't need to be stoking up. What could we fight them for?

1:10:03 Yeah,, especially, with, all, China, and Russia then buddying up. If, Israel, has, come, down,, you've, got,, you know, need another war somewhere. You can't just have one war going.

1:10:12 Yeah., Is, Israel, done?, I, thought, that, was still there's still some stuff going on with that.

1:10:14 So,, we're, winding, that, up. I, think, Israel, is, not, afraid, to, break, a ceasefire.

1:10:19 Yeah,, I, think, they're, still, fired, up. Yeah. I, don't, think, either, side, is, really afraid to break a ceasefire down there.

1:10:24 True. They're, they're, living, in, the, free world. They're hopefully, maybe, Israel, will, send, us, aid if we get if you know all the benefits get taken away. Maybe Israel will send some aid here. That'd be nice.

1:10:33 I, did, just, find, out, they, did., They didn't get involved in Iraq. Who? I, thought, Israel, would, have, sent, troops to Iraq with you.

1:10:41 Israel, does, not, send, troops, to, any American war. Oh,, they're, busy., They're, all, used, up.

1:10:46 They, are, busy., They've, got, a, lot, on., But yeah,, the, one, thing, I, like, that, the, IDF does is they post or just Israel. They post like hot chicks.

1:10:53 Oh,, the, the, fine and, they're, like,, I'm, Jewish., What, do you have to say about me?

1:10:58 Like,, what, the, hell?, What, the, [ __ ], is that all about? You've never seen the hot IDF?

1:11:02 I, feel, like, I've, seen, that,, but, I, know they're going that that I thought it'd be like join the IDF. Like, check out our base.

1:11:06 They, got, a, little, bit of, that,, but they're also like, I'm Israeli. Do you hate me? It's just the hottest chick you've ever seen.

1:11:11 It's, like,, no. Well,, no,, I, love, you. Yeah,, clearly, they're, not. No,, they, had, a

1:11:15 You're, not, doing, the, wrong, thing, [ __ ] Yeah., That's, also, weird, to, be, on, the offensive as a military. You know what I mean? Like our United States military is not like, "Well, you racist [ __ ] and just show like a jacked black guy." It's like

1:11:27 I, think, they, did, do, that, for, a, little while. Yeah. If, you've, seen I, think, Yeah., 2020, they, were, hitting some wild [ __ ]

1:11:35 That's, crazy., I, never, I, would, never. It's weird as a military to be like obsessed with like were you guys mad at me? It's like dude do your job.

1:11:42 Honestly, they're, posting, hot, chicks, and be like are you still mad? And, you're, like, no, come, here., Come, here.

1:11:49 I, forgive, you, IDF. Just keep posting babes. Did Did you find some? seems like

1:11:57 seems, like, they're, pivoting, a, little, at least on Instagram I guess. No, more, babes.

1:12:01 Couldn't, find, many, babes., It's, more, just like a other, stuff. Like, what?

1:12:08 Tanks, videos, being, like, that, video, you saw of a baby getting his head ripped off is fake.

1:12:12 Yeah., Yeah. I, know, they, hit, those, videos. It's, literally, like it's, just, like, soldiers, and, they, post like

1:12:20 Yeah., I'm, not, a Yeah,, that's, crazy,, man. What the hell is that all about?

1:12:24 Dude,, they're, so, hot, dude., He, found, the, babes., Did, you, say All, you, have, to, do, is, Google, hot, IDF female soldiers.

1:12:30 I, was, looking, Oh, you, were, looking, for, the, official. I, was, looking, on, Instagram,, but, I, have seen the babes. They were doing Tik Tok dances for a while.

1:12:37 Yeah. In, their, fatigues. It, is, funny, to, be, like, kind, of, coming, to some sort of like

1:12:43 babes, are, That's, a, good, move. It's, a, good, brainwash. That's, good., Good, propaganda.

1:12:48 Yeah,, cuz, I, stay, out, of, things, and you're, like,, you, know what?, A, lot, of people are saying

1:12:50 I, don't want, to, get, involved, in, this politically. Cash Patel is married to one, isn't he?

1:12:54 An, IDF, babe. Pretty, sure. I, think. Yeah. What? That's, their, strongest, weapon, is, their babes.

1:13:01 Yeah. One, of, them, at, least. They, do, use, babes, sometimes, underage, and then they film you.

1:13:10 Gotcha. True. Gotcha. All, right,, that's, a, good, ender. On, to, the, Patreon., Giants.

1:13:18 Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Ep 583 - Ice Cream Dream (feat. James McCann)"?

In order: 0:00 Eminem, Mark Wahlberg, Municipal; 10:00 Battlefield Red SEC; 30:00 Dane Wthbone; 40:00 Bryant Kelly, Odell Beckham, Prize Pick; 50:00 Curtis SWA; 1:00:00 Rodrigo Duterte.

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

15 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Eminem, Battlefield Red SEC, Beastie Boys, Mark Wahlberg, Municipal, Dane Wthbone. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 583 - Ice Cream Dream (feat. James McCann)"?

The episode runs 1 h 13 min; the transcript is about 16,938 words in 590 timestamped sections.

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