Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)

What this episode is about

The discussion centers around personal fitness journeys, with participants sharing humorous anecdotes and experiences related to their training regimens, body image, and the pressures associated with achieving physical goals. Highlights include a lighthearted exchange about workout achievements, parental feedback on fitness, and the awkwardness often felt in male friendships regarding health and body conversation.

Key takeaways

• Awkward silences between bros: the original male bonding ritual, where lifting weights is more comfortable than lifting conversation.
• Training montages: the real-life Instagram highlight reel that turns anxious gym-goers into 'smashing machines' and 'muscle men.'
• Liver King vs. Steroids: a cautionary tale of how honesty in fitness can be as rare as a 900 lb squat.
• Bench press bragging rights: the modern equivalent of medieval knights boasting about their dragon-slaying skills—pointless but entertaining.
• Men measuring their masculinity through weights and Wi-Fi passwords: modern-day experiences wrapped in a code of primal instincts.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Matt (Guest) · 38 min speaking
• Shane (Guest) · 34 min speaking
• Steve Gerben (Guest) · 14 min speaking
• Billy (Guest) · 10 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Darius Liver, Brian Johnson, Floyd Mayweather, Daniel Radcliffe
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Prize Pick, Dallas
3. 30:00 – 40:00: She Comes First, Footloose, Free Will
4. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Darius Liver, AI
5. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Pennsylvania
6. 1:30:00 – 1:35:58: Brian Johnson, Darius Liver

Notable quotes from "Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)"

• I don't think I'm going to do 900 lb club. Make the shirt. You like Libert King when he admitted he's on juice.

  about Darius Liver · at 1:49

• Wait, Daniel Rackliff plays a neo.

  about Daniel Radcliffe · at 5:18

• I think it's PA that you got to worry about. Pennsylvania is No, Texas.

  about Pennsylvania · at 6:13

• He fought Floyd Mayweather and they made like it was like HBO did like the 24/7 lead out to it and you're watching it like dude Hatton might win.

  about Floyd Mayweather · at 8:17

• Hot start, you now have the option to cash out on those winnings before the game even finishes. Wow, Matt. Download the Prize Picks app today and use code drench to get $50 in…

  about Prize Pick · at 16:12

• You're a free man. Truly free. Say, say you know you hit the square dance, bring a Chica back home from the thing. Would you play some line dance while you guys are getting freaky?

  about Free Will · at 35:09

• I actually read a book on how to eat your [ __ ] just like nine.

  about She Comes First · at 36:06

• Hyperinflation in like 2016 and then all these like doctors and [ __ ] were getting paid like 50 cents a day doing captions to train AI to get smarter cuz like AI has a hard…

  about AI · at 55:48

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Darius Liver — Person · Referenced public figure / running joke target · 8 mentions · first at 1:51
  Used as a recurring comedic reference about steroids, authenticity, and internet persona; also tied to Brian Johnson identity.
• Floyd Mayweather — Person · Referenced boxer / benchmark of dominance · 1 mention · first at 8:17
  Discussed as undefeated and as Hatton’s opponent; also referenced for timing Pacquiao fight and career strategy.
• Brian Johnson — Person · Identity reference for Liver King · 5 mentions · first at 2:15
  Named as someone the speaker 'goes way back' with; in context, it refers to Liver King’s real name (implied by usage).
  Me and Brian Johnson go way back.
• Daniel Radcliffe — Person · Referenced actor · 1 mention · first at 5:18
  Mentioned in relation to the film 'Imperium' where he plays a neo-Nazi; used for a tangent about acting/method acting.
• Ricky Hatton — Person · Referenced boxer · 1 mention · first at 8:00
  Appears in a nostalgia segment about boxing hype and the HBO 24/7 lead-up to his fight with Mayweather.
  What was that [ __ ] That was like the Ricky Hatton. You remember?

Books & papers

• She Comes First — Book · Referenced book / comedic prop · 3 mentions · first at 36:07
  Central to a long comedic segment about sexual technique and embarrassment when the book was left out during a location scout.

Products & tech

• AI — Product · Referenced technology in geopolitics tangent · 1 mention · first at 55:52
  Mentioned in relation to Venezuelans doing image-caption work to train AI during hyperinflation, illustrating economic exploitation and tech labor.

Concepts & topics

• Cedar — Concept · Allergy cause / local environmental factor · 1 mention · first at 6:07
  Cedar allergies are cited as a reason people feel sick in Texas, grounding a short health/travel tangent.
  Cedar allergies. Yeah. [ __ ] blows.
• Free Will — Concept · Casual phrase (not philosophical topic) · 1 mention · first at 35:09
  Used colloquially ('You're a free man') rather than as a philosophical discussion of free will.

Places & events

• Pennsylvania — Place · Referenced region (illness + line-dancing culture) · 2 mentions · first at 6:13
  Mentioned as a place where illness is 'going around' and later as 'Eastern Pennsylvania' with many 'cowboys' at line dancing.
• Dallas — Place · Tour stop · 1 mention · first at 16:38
  Mentioned in the standup plug as the Saturday show location and in the context of ticket sales.
  Hey guys, real quick. This weekend I will be in Houston, Texas and then Dallas, Texas. I'll be in Houston Friday night doing standup comedy and I'll be in Dallas Saturday night…

Media & podcasts

• Footloose — Media · Referenced film in line-dancing segment · 1 mention · first at 34:05
  Referenced as the source of the line-dancing song 'Fake ID' (as stated in the transcript) and tied to a joke about Miles Teller in the remake.
• Harry Potter — Character · Pop-culture reference point · 1 mention · first at 5:13
  Used as shorthand to identify Daniel Radcliffe and set up the joke about the movie 'Imperium'.
  You ever seen Imperium? No, I don't think with Harry Potter's like a neo-Nazi.

Sponsors

• Prize Pick — Company · Sponsor / advertised product · 4 mentions · first at 15:13
  A full mid-episode ad read promotes PrizePicks features, promo code, and availability; it is the only formal commercial segment.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Wow. The wild wild west. And we're live, dude. Wow. Matthew, thank you for joining us. Bill, thank you for joining us. Stephen, thank you for joining us. I appreciate you guys coming here.

0:10 Matt, Matt, how are you? I'm doing pretty good, dude. I haven't seen you in so long, dude. So uncomfortable. So awkward.

0:16 Why do you think it's awkward? It's just so [ __ ] weird between guys. I know what you've been up to.

0:20 What do you think I've been up to? You've moved on. What? Training, bro. Dude, keep the training montage. That's all I'm doing.

0:27 You're I know. I'm training for that when when I like in a couple months. I want you to go, damn, dude.

0:32 I mean, every time I see you, I go, bro, you need to put that. He's the smashing machine.

0:38 I train for You're literally the smashing machine. Have you seen that? No. Please.

0:42 I didn't watch. I trained for you and my mommy. I love Dude, the summer time, my mom gives me the thumbs up or thumbs down. If I go to the pool, take my shirt off, she'll literally be like, "You got fat." Or she'll go, "Wow, you put on some muscles." Hello, mommy's muscle man. That's what I try to be every year. Mommy's a little muscle man. I'm I'm hoping to be your muscle man this time.

1:02 You're more jacked than Bill. I had right now. It's kind of crazy, dude. I never thought I'd start putting up my

1:08 I never thought you would either. Uh bench 235. Lie. Lie. Bench 335. Go high. Go higher

1:14 twice. I'll get up there. No, I'm saying lie. Get up there. 315. 235 for 10. Never mind. What's the squat? We got the same thick ass legs, bro.

1:24 Squat. I'm all calisthenics right now, so there's nothing. What's your What was your heaviest squat ever?

1:28 I have no [ __ ] idea. Probably 225. I hate that [ __ ] I would just throw my back out every time I squatted.

1:33 All right, never mind. I do like 25 for a week and then just blow I'm not trying to be a dick. 225 is a warm up, dude. 225 is warm up.

1:40 I feel you. I'm I'm going to try to get up to 350. I don't think I'll be able to get the,000 lb club, dude.

1:44 I can't I flew here to tell you I don't think I'll be able to get,000. You flew here to go. I can't do it.

1:49 I don't think I'm going to do 900 lb club. Make the shirt. You like Libert King when he admitted he's on juice. What are you talking about?

1:56 Don't bring him up. I'm mad. Come over here. He's going to get you. Wi-Fi password.

2:01 Joe Rogan. Did you see him do that? What did he say? The Wi-Fi passwords. [ __ ] Seth Rogan.

2:06 Oh, yeah. He calls him Seth. He's fully lost his mind. That's probably He's coming for you. This has nothing to do with me.

2:12 Yeah. I don't want to. I'm not talking [ __ ] on the Liver King. Me and Brian Johnson go way back.

2:17 Dude, I don't know what you're doing right now. He's going to [ __ ] get you. I'm not scared of that, dude.

2:22 Whatever you How are you not afraid of how you're naming people? Cry. What? He's mentally unstable right now. That's exactly who you don't want to bother. He's on

2:31 I don't think he can travel across state lines currently. He can, dude. Follow his Instagram. He was just on vacation. He could travel.

2:37 Yeah, the king can move, dude. Look, sit in front of the board. The king can move. Yeah, get you pawn, dude.

2:43 Okay. Don't mention the king for the king. I'm not afraid of BJ. That's all I'm saying. How, bro? He's terrifying.

2:49 Pretty boy muscles. Bro, what are you thinking? He's [ __ ] primal, dude. He's [ __ ] primal. What are you talking? I'm primal. I'm not on steroids,

2:57 dude. I'm more primal than him, dude. If a caveman got steroids, it would take Hold on. Genuinely, this is a mistake. Like an actual mistake.

3:06 I want Liver King's going to get you. You want to die by Liberty? I want Getting killed by Liver King would be sick. Death by Liver King.

3:13 What do they like? Pound it. Lock it down. [ __ ] [ __ ] I've been watching a lot of it.

3:18 It's good stuff. You'd like the Liver King? Uh, I I don't I mean, you don't like him either. God damn. Gerbin and Billy versus the Liver King.

3:24 You got to be good and true. I love the Liver King. I don't like 3.0. I like 1.0. And then once he started admitting that he's on steroids, [ __ ] that. Just lie until you die.

3:33 Yeah. True. That's what I was trying to tell you with the numbers for him. Just lie by the numbers.

3:38 As soon as someone goes, "How much can you bounce?" You go 315. I real don't I don't prove it.

3:45 I don't understand that [ __ ] It's like dudes act like they're not going to get in the Hall of Fame if they get that someone catches them doing steroids. Like dude, you're just chilling. Like nothing. It doesn't matter. Everyone's on steroids now pretty much.

3:56 Well, speak for yourself. Not me. But I'm saying, dude, you've been juiced. I'm telling you, I'm on the juice, dude. I would you be able to fight in the UFC currently.

4:04 100%. No way. You would have you'd be pissing hot. You'd be burning cuffs, bro.

4:09 Not at all. For what? Maca. Well, but yeah, maca is fine. It's an herbal supplement. You take maca. Be a piece of

4:15 My tea's not even high. I know my tea is literally not Your te's is the highest I've

4:21 got spud with that this weekend. What did I was like, you just had a kid. Your E is through the roof.

4:27 And he immediately started smacking himself in the face and we had to be like, no, no, no, no, no, dude. Dude, that's

4:31 that's high. Sorry. That was high tea. Self punch is a high tier response. Punch.

4:35 He immediately went to the self punch. Guinness, dude. He started punching himself when I was like, "You have too much estrogen."

4:42 He was hitting us with some liberal talking points. So, it was very fun to be like, "Dude, he is running wild.

4:46 It's devastating." And he took it to heart. Yeah, that's the It kills you. If you're If you're over 40 white male and you get called a li, it's [ __ ] sucks, dude.

4:55 Pretty much a death sentence. It really is. I was really I was uh I was Gerby's Gerby's conservative as [ __ ] dude.

5:02 I I know. He's like quiet about it. No, I mean, you know, just No, you don't have to really answer.

5:07 Okay. Yeah. I mean, you know, certainly obviously some some conservative, you know,

5:11 you ever seen Imperium? No, I don't think with Harry Potter's like a neo-Nazi. No, but I've definitely seen

5:17 hilarious. You should watch it. Wait, Daniel Rackliff plays a neo. Yes, I've definitely seen the uh clips of it.

5:22 That's kind of nice. It's very insane. He hits some wild ones. He's like on a march. Yeah, I've seen it.

5:28 He would not like you. Oh. Oh, yeah. Do you think an actor that serious though when he's playing that role goes full method?

5:36 He did go full method. I don't know. You got to go 100%. If you're going to do that, you got to rip the band-aid off. Just say it.

5:44 All right. Here we go. Now, Gerby's, what's going on with you? Not I'm sick. I got that like two two week thing that Billy was saying that he had.

5:51 Oh, that's nice. That's nice to be able to say it's going around. I'm not the only one for with the two weaker.

5:56 Well, I cuz I'd feel bad if I But I It really has been going. Have you had No, I've been in Texas. I've been saved from the plague.

6:03 Oh jeez. But we have the whole allergy thing going on. So, everyone's kind of sick. Cedar allergies. Yeah. [ __ ] blows.

6:08 Gotcha. I'm worried. I got to I'm going to I have to go to like Houston this weekend. I'm so worried I'm going to get sick.

6:13 I think it's PA that you got to worry about. Pennsylvania is No, Texas. Oh, really?

6:17 Way worse. Oh. Oh, the Cedar with allergies. Oh, no. I I meant with like what's going around.

6:22 Oh, yeah. Could get it. Yeah. Whole family. Billy had it. Your nicotine patch didn't work.

6:27 No, it did. Viral infection. That's definitely a shot. I was Your [ __ ] nicotine patch didn't work.

6:34 No, I was I was on the bandwagon. I was hoping it worked. I was I was dancing around and then like a little baby came around and I think that's who got me sick. And then I proceeded to cough in my girlfriend's mouth accidentally and she got sick and then everyone else in the house got sick.

6:48 Damn. A baby came around when you were dancing. What was Elaborate on that? You said you were dancing around.

6:54 No, I was dancing around getting sick. Oh, I thought you were dancing around and a baby came around.

6:59 You were kind of bug ch You were bug chasing what you said. I'm sorry. When I talked to you, you were like, I want to see if I can get

7:03 I wanted to. Yeah, he was bug chasing all Christmas. I'm kind of jealous you got it already before right before filming. It would have been nice.

7:10 But if you were to have it, I think you got it because uh I've literally been talking to you non-stop for the last two days.

7:16 Yeah, I'm going to get it. No, but I'm saying Grace had it while you guys were in Europe.

7:21 Yeah. So, you want to talk about that? I don't believe it. You dodged the plague. You're in You're in Europe.

7:27 No, everybody got the plague that I was with. Yes. Every single person. That's why I didn't fly back with them.

7:33 The whole wedding got the flu. pooping and coughing at the end and I was like, I'm not getting on that.

7:38 So, I went to London, dude. I went to old London town. I went to the World Darts Championship instead.

7:42 That's awesome. [ __ ] rock, dude. I was walking in a litler wonderland on a plane.

7:51 It was turds on a plane. I was avoiding that. I was stay in Europe for 3 days. I'm not getting on the third plane.

7:58 What was that [ __ ] That was like the uh the Ricky Hatton. You remember? Yeah, it was the It's the exact same one.

8:03 It's the same. There's only one Ricky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember buying into the fact that he could win.

8:09 Oh, we all did. Mainly cuz he was a white guy and then the fight started. We went whoops.

8:15 Ricky Hatton Mayweather. He fought Floyd Mayweather and they made like it was like HBO HBO did like the 24/7 lead out to it and you're watching it like dude Hatton might win.

8:25 Yeah. Although we've talked about I came back around when uh Floyd walked out to Born in the USA.

8:31 Okay. And I was like what am I doing? Why am I doing this? I agree with you. Is Floyd undefeated?

8:36 Yeah, it's kind of nasty. Yeah, he finished undefeated. He kind of kind of ducks some of the big guys until they were old, but he was old, too.

8:44 Yeah, but he fought him when they were all geezed up. It's kind of He was supposed to fight uh what's his name? Manny Pacquiao like forever.

8:51 T-shirts. It's awesome. Pacquiao. Yeah. Yeah. He was a man. You ever his 24/7 was hilarious.

8:55 That was awesome. It's just him. He would sleep in the hotel. He's Filipino. He would sleep in a hotel room with like 15 people. He would get like a hotel, like a nice hotel, and put 15 people. They'd be on every bar.

9:07 I don't do What are you talking about? That is literally you. That's That's in a hotel room.

9:12 Yeah. Really? Let's bring 15 people into this. Oh, no. I'm saying to go to bed. They would all sleep in there.

9:18 I could see you doing that. I could And then he would sing karaoke in front of all them very seriously.

9:25 Versions of that. You show memes very seriously. I show memes very seriously. Yeah. You would love karaoke. You would love karaoke. Seriously.

9:34 Yeah. If our whole group of friends was gayer, you'd be the happiest guy on earth.

9:39 Yes. You'd be so delighted. Not going to lie. Karaoke myself. I You're all like, "Let's just sing tonight, guys. We don't need alcohol or to go out. Let's just sit around and sing."

9:50 You'd be so happy. You know, the the one song that I really would like to get down, it's tough, but uh one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

9:57 It's pretty easy. Oh, no. Cuz it's it's like when he You're saying to sing. Is that James? Is that Thor good?

10:03 Yeah. Yeah. Can you sing out how what do you have so far? Well, it's good acoustics down here.

10:08 No, no, because it's Don't make Let's not Let's just stop wasting time. You're going to sing it.

10:15 Don't make me talk you into this. Let's just do it. I'll just see where you're at. Yeah.

10:19 Well, but uh let's see. I forget. How's it start? It's like uh Oh, yeah. He's like, "Uh, I want to tell tell you a story about the house red blues."

10:28 You got to get a little more guttury than that. You got to get a little more guttery than that.

10:32 All right. Yeah. Yeah. Gutter is a good word actually. Uh, I want to tell you a story.

10:37 That's a little Hulk Hogany. Yeah. Now, but the the friend blues getting close.

10:43 Yeah. Keep it going. Uh, come on. I can't I can't see. This is the problem. I can't remember.

10:50 Yeah. The lyrics. You need the lyrics. Yeah. If you're doing Yoki, you need the lyrics for sure.

10:56 Hey Siri, look up the lyrics to uh one bourbon, one scotch, one beer. I'm with this [ __ ] for the next three months every day. You've been good, dude. You're two for two.

11:08 Take out the cheaters. You're two for two so far on days filming. Two good two good film days.

11:13 Two good days. He has not been a little [ __ ] baby once. Out of Out of how many?

11:18 Which two? How many do we have down the pipe? what he considers being a baby. 40.

11:23 True. We should define terms of what's a baby. Going like, "How are you doing?" And I go, "And then that's

11:28 that's the vibe. You can't crush the vibe. You got to be like, when you're walking in in the morning, be like, "Yo, what's up, Gerby? Gerby babies." And he's like,

11:36 "I'm not in the mood for your stuff today." Go, "Okay, well, now you're going to get the worst version."

11:43 I learned my lesson. Yeah. You get the vibes are a real thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You got to take a page from old black guys. They're the best at like in a morning like salutation like how you doing? It's always like woke up today, didn't I?

11:54 Yeah. I love old black guys in the morning, dude. They hit you with the best. I did. Yeah. I basically had to do that in the shower this morning. I was being a baby. I was like, [ __ ] I got to wake up early. It's like, dude, I'm making a show with my friends. Why are you this gay? Then you get out of the shower and you see your naked fat body. You go, I'm a big fat [ __ ]

12:11 Yeah. What the [ __ ] First thing, self-loathing and then getting out and seeing a tiny penis. You go. Jesus, we got to make some changes.

12:21 There's no way you have a tiny penis. Really? See those? What the hell? For real. See these chest pieces?

12:29 See these chest pieces? They were whittleled perfectly. I've been hitting the cold plunge. I come back and take the shower. It's so It's literally tiniest.

12:38 I think it's my penis. I get my like born penis. Yeah. It's crazy, dude. Yeah. Like, dude, for sure, dude. Coming out of the cold clutch. No problem. Just a pawn to be toppled.

12:50 Did you get the lyrics? I did. I just I I thought we were past it all. Oh, we're not moving past that. You still have the Masters app.

12:58 Yeah. You're not going back. No, I know. That was You're out. That was the But you could cuz you could watch uh you know, it's actually quite a good app for

13:12 That's a review. the Masters the Masters app for three days a year. I guess fantasy uh league if you want to join it.

13:21 Yeah, supposedly it's I I'm not in it. I just was told $100. Yeah, I don't necessarily know how you would do that. Do you just pick one guy?

13:28 I I've never done golf. Uh I I've seen people do it. Yeah, you get a couple guys.

13:33 It's very interesting. Depends how they It's interesting. It's very interesting. That's interesting.

13:38 That's interesting. I just never really heard of Apac. That's interesting. I never even thought about Apac. Like, well, did you take money from it? No, it's just interesting.

13:47 The fact that you're bringing that up is very interesting. That was the best answer of all. The best politician.

13:52 That was nice. Just non-answer was Gavin Newsome. Yeah. He was on a podcast and they're like, "Do you take money from APAC?" And he's like,

13:58 "What's APAC?" Oh, Apac. It's interesting you bring that up. That was it. And they're kept being like, "Why is it interesting?" He's like, "No, it's just interesting."

14:08 Because I haven't heard about them. I haven't thought about them in forever. AP pack.

14:12 He also he's like bulletproof honestly. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. He just walks through everything. Was at the French Laundry during CO when everything was shut down. Then he pretended to be black with [ __ ] um the dude from the Pacers.

14:24 It's like stack Wonderbread this high. So you never did that. Yeah. That's that's weird. Like it's almost racist how bad that lie is.

14:32 You're just assuming all black dudes eat Wonderbread. It's very He was claiming I think single mother. He was claiming single mother household which I think technically he was he was rich minute his dad was out of the picture.

14:43 Pelosi is his mommy. No, she took care of him. She adopted him. Yeah, but I think then he got into like the cologne ads and [ __ ] But I think before that stacking the he's in like some weird [ __ ] was that tough on him. Honestly,

14:56 I like what he's up to. I think the first I think the first five years of his life for Gavin.

15:01 I'm not. I'm a li anymore. Honestly, I'm a liberal. He's the perfect politician though. You got to give it to him.

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15:44 Me, too. I was going to say that is crazy. I love watching Christian play. It's so fun.

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16:29 It's good to be right. It's good to be right. Yes. Hey guys, real quick. This weekend I will be in Houston, Texas and then Dallas, Texas. I'll be in Houston Friday night doing standup comedy and I'll be in Dallas Saturday night doing standup comedy. Tickets to Dallas. Solid. Thank you, Dallas. Tickets to Houston. They're lagging a little bit. So, if you live in Houston and you'd like to go see me do standup comedy or you'd like to see me do standup comedy, please don't let the opportunity pass you by. If you don't want to, that's fine. I don't, you know, whatever. But come on.

17:04 Yeah, he's bad. Oh, you know what we could talk about? Cuz I heard you talking about it.

17:07 What? You're you're bringing you're talking I heard you talking about Trump dog saying he doesn't have the juice anymore.

17:12 He doesn't. You got to admit the last two weeks the juice has been back. The video you showed me where he was

17:16 and I sent him I sent him to Matt, too. I can't believe how hard the juice is going.

17:20 He was killing the [ __ ] I don't know how old it is, but he's on the he's on Air Force One. You know how the reporters always talk to him? He stands like next to the bathroom.

17:28 Yeah. They were like uh leaning on the wall. They're like, "Uh, Mr. president, what was the MRI you got for? And he was like, I don't know. It was an MRI. I can tell you it was not for my brain cuz my brain's working. I just took a cognitive test and I aced it. Something you would be incapable of. And he goes, "All right, everybody. See you later." You, too. Just drills another reporter on the way out.

17:47 Also, I noticed I watched your clip hitting an Asian lady with like, "Your brain sucks."

17:51 And when he walked away, 80-year-old guy is like, "Dude, you have all the confidence in the world."

17:55 And the Asian lady after he walked away was just like, "Yeah. I think he's like becoming way too clear, you know, like when someone's like about to die and like everyone's in the room. Shane Ker knows everybody. Yeah. Just sharp as attack and it's just going to [ __ ] collapse. Uh, dude, there's the Venezuela thing got me back, dude. The memes.

18:17 The memes leading up to Venezuela, I was like, "Don't go to war, dude. The last thing we want is a war. [ __ ] all that." One meme of Tekashi69 being saying, "Took that stole that [ __ ]

18:26 That's what I do." As Trump, I was like, "Yeah, America rules. take all their [ __ ] do it.

18:31 That's why they're showing that the tariffs. Did it work or not? Definitely worked.

18:36 Everything. If it didn't work, they'd be talking about it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that was the one thing. That was like

18:41 tariffs rule. Setting us back 400 years of diplomacy and then you never heard another thing about it. So, yeah, you're probably right. The tariffs worked. Venezuela so far so good. People were mad that were as soon as he was like, "Dude, we're making $400 trillion." Everyone was like "Fuck dude.

18:56 Stole that shit." Yeah, they've that's what I do. They're shutting down like all the news stuff too.

19:02 Yeah, because it just works. If Shane watches reals, it's pretty much like someone watching Fox News like I'm up that

19:08 literally all I need. Show me a fighter jet reel. I go, "Yep, play the Macarena and slow."

19:13 Yeah. Play a slow version of the Macarena. You horny for back to war. Also, it's doing really good. Whatever. Whoever's running that propaganda is [ __ ] killing it. We have any Latin American country now, just like we had terrorism in the Middle East, we can be like, "Yo, they're [ __ ] selling cocaine. We can go take their natural." We have that locked for the next 10 years.

19:32 I will say Columbia's leader needs to shut the [ __ ] up. They chirping. Did you see it? Dude, as soon as they took Maduro, he was like, "Yeah, you won't do that to me, pussy."

19:40 I hear what they did. They like turned the lights off. They turned the lights off, but then hit people with like [ __ ] radio waves. It got him sick and bloody noses.

19:48 What? Like Havana syndrome? Yeah. I was like debilitating [ __ ] where they're like, "Dude, there was 20 of them and 300 of us and it was a massacre." It's like predators versus like humans. It's so bad. They're using like rush.

20:01 I mean, it is embarrassing. If I lived in a country and they turned my lights off and took my president off, you guys like be like, "No, we fought. It was a brutal fire." Just like at least lie.

20:10 No, we turn the lights out, turn them back on. We were the undertaker. He was literally the undertaker. The lights went out. The lights came back on. Where is he? You thought

20:19 it's like being down the basement and someone shuts the light off. Yo, here look think.

20:24 It's so scary. Just let out a few. Yo, who is it? Also, also on Air Force One, they're like they're calling it a They're not calling it a kidnapping and all that. He's like kidnapping. That's a good word. Just like god damn it. He's funny. I'm just saying he's funny about this.

20:39 I agree that he's and funny, you know. Great move to make everyone forget about Epstein.

20:43 Oh yeah. Yeah, true. They need and also we needed something big, man. Russia's on their Russia's on the offensive. China's supposed to be on the offensive. We can't just sit on our hands and not

20:52 We might be We got to take something. What? Like I for real think that like Russia and China are [ __ ] up. Like China does has less drinking water in Saudi Arabia and they like didn't let people have kids for a long time. So their population

21:06 dude 2030 Yeah. 2030 those countries are going to get hit. They can build all the boats they want, dude. But people are [ __ ] disappearing and then no one wants to bang Chinese dudes

21:17 and the Chinese chicks are leaving. Ah, that's a tough one. You shriveled your your bros. Everyone in there is pissed. They'll [ __ ] go out swinging though. If you if they have no [ __ ] and it's just like we got to ruin everyone else's time. That would be a crazy war. So I'll [ __ ] kill myself. Just go put yourself up somewhere. Let there be a [ __ ]

21:34 If you're a Chinese no water, no [ __ ] Yeah, that's untenable. No, I don't care how many sweet bridges are being filmed on YouTube. I'm going to be like, you know what? This this bridge is really helping me.

21:44 It's a subway that goes through people's houses. It's like, yeah, cuz they can't say no.

21:48 Someone just went through a [ __ ] skyscraper and everyone else said, I've never gotten sold on the China hype.

21:53 The propaganda, that's the one propaganda that really doesn't work on me. They watch like a drone footage of like a city with neon lights. You're like, this looks like [ __ ]

22:02 Well, it's Yeah. And they're also like, oh man, we might go to war with China. It's like, all right, if we if we have if we do, we do.

22:09 If I have to, I will. Last a second. They last a second round us. No. Yeah, it's crazy.

22:18 You keep [ __ ] They might cut off your steroids, though. If you talk me the Chinese [ __ ] the rhino pills you're snorting.

22:24 I'm herbal, bro. You have to get India to take my ashwagandha. The Middle Easterners to take my Sheila. I'm all herbal. They're saying I'm on steroids. I'm on all natural enhancers.

22:34 I I completely believe you. Thank you. Thank you. Don't be rude. What? Don't be rude. I'm complimenting hyping me up.

22:43 I'm complimenting the man genuinely. I'm saying you look like you're on juice. You go, "Oh, I completely believe you're not on juice." That's [ __ ] up.

22:50 Because he would be honest. If there's one person that would be like, "I'm doing it."

22:54 It's like the ring, dude. That good. People start taking steroids and they get real weird, dude. They won't tell anyone. They're like, "No, it's natural. It's natural." Everyone who does steroids

23:04 Not now, though, dude. The gym I go to, I sit in the sauna and all the bros are like they they just like make fun of each other. They'll be like, I don't know. They're like, take a cycle, you [ __ ] [ __ ] They It's pretty funny.

23:13 Enlarge your art. I heard Clav, who was the guy? Clavicle. Clavicar. Clavicular.

23:18 Apparently, allegedly, he's been on TRT since 14 and he smashes his jaw with a hammer every day to get micro fractures. He gets big. He's looks maxing real hard.

23:26 What? Apparently, he's a guy who's Yeah, I saw he's looks maxed like since he was 14. How close were you to considering it?

23:34 Were you a part of looks as I watch the real he'll do anything thought about it?

23:38 He'll do anything to be part of the looks maxing. He if looks maxing he looks maxes on He looks maxes on set.

23:44 I'd be all You look max on set. Would you wear when we're filming? He look He wears [ __ ] platform shoes.

23:51 I don't wear platform shoes. He does. That That is He does. You'll see. That is so What does that mean? You

23:57 No, these are gigantic. How big would you say you're the soul of your Buddhist?

24:01 Uh, you know what? They're just give us one of these. They're echo shoes. You're rocking Echos, bro. Yeah, they're very comfortable. What?

24:08 Where'd you get them from? The $23 store. Hey, Chester. There's a place. We're filming. Me and him were doing scenes. I'm going

24:15 hold you shoes. What? There used to be a place in Chester where every sneaker was $23. And that's probably where they sold. Where'd you get Echo shoes?

24:24 Echo. Like the one with the rhino on. Echo. That's like seventh grade Bad Kids.

24:30 No. No. You got No. Echo's rebranded. Single mother shoes. If they have rebranded,

24:36 he's wearing the Shacks in fourth grade. The So Echo. Echo is for like the baddest,

24:43 bro. Yo, how sick would it be if he started wearing like Echo hoodies? Like the red one? Dude, that'd be so sick.

24:49 CCO. I was first down. Matt had an Echo. I was first down. I didn't I did first down. There's there's a thing called first down.

24:57 Yeah, first down was the [ __ ] I used to have a big first down bubble jacket. It was nasty as hell.

25:02 What was it like the starter jacket? Yeah, first it was echo. First down. They were like bad kid clothes.

25:08 Yeah. South pole. South pole. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it was [ __ ] nasty as hell.

25:13 Yeah, lugs. Lug shoes. Uh you had it. They were like knockoff Timberland. You were swagged out. I had I did have lugs.

25:20 Lugs. Yeah, I had lugs. Lugs were nasty. For Catholic school. Yeah. Yeah. They're perfect.

25:24 Yeah, I would wear Timberlands. I had P. Miller's shoes for a while. That's where the $23 sho store got P Miller Soldiers. Damn.

25:31 They fell apart very quickly. P Miller. So, you have the Echo boots right now. No, they're not boots. They're just loafers cuz last year

25:38 they're loafers that are for real. The heel is definitely that thick. It just couldn't be further from the truth.

25:43 I'll take a picture and we'll add it to this. It might be a centimeter. You know, it's it's not ideal. But the last year cuz I wore work boots.

25:53 Yeah. And he was like, "You're trying to heighten?" No. No. He He tries to heighten

25:57 literally what I would wear. He got his shirts tailored. They tailor them? Yeah. It's They tailor yours?

26:04 No. Yes. Absolutely. No, they didn't. They tried to and I said, "No, just give me that one."

26:08 Okay. Well, it's because your stuff fits you, but I have that weird body shape, so it like hangs over my hands.

26:12 My body's nuts, dude. What? So anywh who I I I think to be like don't you know I want baggy clothes this year and

26:24 it's very in style. The baggie looks nice on you honestly. All right. Thanks. Yeah.

26:28 So and then I got flat shoes and then uh he to to him they're still platform shoes. They're not

26:33 I'm so excited to show you guys a picture of these [ __ ] boots. I can't wait. I got accused of height maxing on stage by an old lady.

26:38 Really? I had the Hoc I had the Hocus on and I was like talking about expensive purses and she had an expensive I didn't even notice and she like

26:45 sick got mad at me for bringing up designer bags and how much they cost and she was like well you look at your shoes you're knockoff shoes make you look taller. I was like they're not hocas they're not knockoffs. I was like she was talking about my tiny penis if you want to hurt my feelings. Yeah. I had to kick out like a 65-year-old lady. I felt terrible. Started to cry.

27:03 Wow. No. She started messed it upream. She's trying to say you're stealing hype valor. You got to put her down.

27:10 Yeah, she could. There's nothing she can say to her me, though. I was like, "Yeah, I'm short. Girls hate it."

27:14 You got to go on one of those. That's what I have to do. You got to go on one of those podcast.

27:19 I'm sub six. What are you, 5'11? 510. I'm sub. Sub six. I'm a piece of [ __ ] trash.

27:25 You're not a piece of trash, man. I'm sub six. That could be why you're juicing as hard as you are.

27:29 Well, I guess I'm sub cuz you're sub six. You have to juice, dude. You must be clanging and banging in there.

27:36 Sub six. If I get a girlfriend, best believe it's an abusive relationship. That's the only way I can keep a girl.

27:40 [ __ ] you. [ __ ] Psychologically abusive relationship. That's the only way as a sub6 I can keep a girl around.

27:46 I see them on Instagram every now and then. What's that? If you leave, you're hurting her.

27:50 The guys that are like for real [ __ ] up the girls. That's wild. It's nice. What do I say? If you leave, you're hurting.

27:57 Like there's like if you leave right now, you know I I'm the only person that loves you. Everyone talks [ __ ] behind your back. I say that to [ __ ] Gibbles all the time. I was like, this is why everyone talks [ __ ] behind your back. It's a good move.

28:07 I'm going to get into that Instagram content of like just making things like a girl's leaving like my impassion thing to keep her say

28:13 like that British guy that screams. That [ __ ] rules. He's going to mistreat you.

28:20 She's tired. She's had enough. She can't keep working like this. That's the Gerby baby.

28:30 What's that? What are you up to, boys? Let's talk Let's talk about your square dancing.

28:35 What? Let's talk about square dancing. Square dancing. Sure, we could talk about square

28:38 line. You should see this. Your line dancing. You're an eager beaver out there.

28:43 My what? You're an eager beaver out there. Yeah, I am an eager be. I made one thing and then Shane got all Hold on one second. But I was going to say about the Instagram reels, which because I sent you the thing. Mine was like uh genuinely I think I mean it was it was sending me stuff as if I was a girl.

28:59 What? Yeah. cuz you thought he was a girl because like I uh was you know like I entered the dating pool again

29:06 of course for sure and uh then I like immediately like this person that did like

29:11 he is splashing you got dating pool you cannonal into that [ __ ] thing so and then I I suppose I was just like making a wave certain videos

29:21 and it's just like girl if he doesn't blah blah blah it's like a bunch of stuff like that

29:25 what yeah it's kind of funny man that's awesome my favorite thing to do at work now is to show Gerby's Brain rot.

29:31 Yeah, he hates it. He has no idea what it is. I just hold him. I showed him like crocodero bomadero and he's just

29:38 I just don't get what's funny about this. Like Yeah, it terrifies me that you funny.

29:43 I don't actually think it's Well, I do think it's funny. It is funny. Do you ever see the videos and they show it to homeless people?

29:49 I swear to God, it's this. He's like, "What's his name? Why does that alligator wear shoes?"

29:55 Hey, so the dating pool right now. Yeah. Back in apps. He heads down to the honky tonk.

30:01 Yeah. And he's learned the moves. He knows the dances. Dude, that's the way to do it, though.

30:06 Like crazy. Uh, yeah. Line dancing is a ton of fun. Yeah, that's the way to do it.

30:10 Yeah. Can you grind? Can I What? Do you grind on the girls during the line dance?

30:15 No. No. Hands on hips, I guess. Oh, no. No, no, no. It's not It's just like you're next to them and

30:20 Yeah. Yeah. What's the one where you lay on the floor and do patty cake? I don't know.

30:24 You guys all sit on the floor across from each other. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember that?

30:27 Yeah. What is that? I truly don't know. That's your favorite one. You like that? You pair pair up with a pretty girl. It's very It was nice. I was jealous watching that.

30:35 How do you send a message? What does that mean? To like a woman that you're line dancing with

30:41 that. How do you go, hey, let's take this to the next level? Oh, you I mean eye contact.

30:46 I think you just razle her dazzle on the floor. Afterwards, you go try and get a drink and then just say, "What's going on?"

30:53 Evening, darling. Yeah, that's nice. That's good. Clean fun. Hello. Have you ever

30:59 I've never gone line dancing. I've salsa a bit in my day. Okay. I have salsa in college.

31:03 That's crazy. It was psychotic. So sick. Crazy. He would love salsa. That's what I'm saying. You got to line dance is all right. Salsa is just purely sexual.

31:12 But right, but I need a partner, dude. No, you can you can find salsa. You find plenty of partners. Line dance,

31:19 dude. It's all girls. True. Line dance. He was crazy. Yeah, you can get a million. Salsa is all girls. If you show up and you're a guy, they're will definitely salsa with you. Okay.

31:27 And he'd wear a salsa outfit. I know you you would definitely get into it fully. He'd have an unbutton

31:33 that I 100%. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a cowboy hat now. And boots. Two. Yeah, I got

31:39 You got two. There's another one. Well, cuz the first one everybody says isn't a cowboy hat.

31:44 It's a Stson open rotor 6X. It's a It's like Bobby Caldwell wears. I don't know.

31:50 So, what is this? What is it? Like rounder on the top? What are we talking about?

31:53 It's not rounder. It's like cowboy at the top, but it's only about 4 in. It's like a fedora.

31:58 No, no, no, no, no. It's not a fedora. You're here to look like the governor cap.

32:02 No, he doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't wear it. He doesn't wear it in public. He goes home, he puts it on, and he talks to his cat and he goes, "Get along, little doggy." And he he goes home and wears it in front of the mirror for real.

32:14 Might be Steve Gene. Yeah. So, it's cowboy short brim. And nobody Everybody just just said that looks awful. So, then I ordered

32:24 Tangal. What's that 10 gallon? Right. Get a giant one. So I got a regular one and then everybody said that looks like a cowboy hat. So now I wear that one all the time all the time in public.

32:35 Uh not in public. She's still at your house. Golf course. I wear it home and then I I mentioned but uh like when I work out like always.

32:42 No. God damn it. No. There's something about dressing up like a cowboy. I swear to God. I went to a western themed party. I put the gear on and was like

32:51 I understand cowboy hat. You wear a wife and a cowboy hat. work out that if it's I mean it's a home gym. There's the wheels.

32:57 What music are you playing? Uh% Fort Miner. There's uh if you you're like Rip from Yellowstone, bro.

33:06 What is that? Rip. Is that what he does? He's a badass in Yellowstone. Yeah. I needed I need a picture of this.

33:12 So, uh please. Tank top, cowboy hat, workout. The one song that I really like. What a fifth grader would do. That's insane.

33:19 Uh look, it it is what it is. It's true. It's how my brain likes to do it and I'm doing it.

33:25 All right. Because I It's Stand for something or fall for anything. I'm behind you.

33:31 I recognize how big of a douche I look at that kid. Oh, no. It's so fun. I think it's nasty.

33:37 Um, you're kind of shredded. So, yeah. I don't I don't know. What are you hitting? Pull-ups. Like, what are you hitting in the hat?

33:42 Yeah, he's rips pull-ups. Yeah, I have a pull-up bar and then uh but it's it's a uh cable machine, you know, like with two valve flex.

33:51 No, no, but you're hitting you're just going hitting those things. Hitting those things. Just

33:55 What is the jam? What are you listening to? So, there's a a line dancing song called uh Fake ID.

34:01 Damn. From the movie Foot Loose, which I think your friend was in Miles Teller.

34:05 Oh, yeah. The remake. Nice. And I could do that entire dance. It It's advanced. I can do it.

34:12 Well, yeah. You please please. No, not here. No, no, no, not right now. I mean, this nothing proper gear on

34:19 Shane, I promise you before the show's over, I'll do it for you. What was the song?

34:24 Uh, Fake ID, is it? You can watch it on YouTube. So, the workout is you're playing the song and so are you are you like lifting and then hitting the hitting the numbers real quick?

34:35 Yeah, that's nice. I I bounce, dude. I see more people in the gym who hit like dance moves like choreog dance moves now. It's not That's the song. Yeah, this is a song. Hey, driving.

34:53 That's awesome. Oh, yeah. You know, it's good, man. I can't believe you're wearing a tank top and a cowboy hat. Listen to that.

35:02 Yeah. I like I like where you're at. I like I just envious. Here's here's the question. You're free.

35:09 You're a free man. Truly free. Say, say you know you hit the square dance, bring a Chica back home from the thing. Would you play some line dance while you guys are getting freaky?

35:20 We've been discussing this as well. What music? Well, he's not afraid to hit the red light. He's got a red light. He'll turn on a red light.

35:28 Yeah, that's awesome. Actually, in his bedroom for sex and then treat it like an Amsterdam.

35:34 Have you never tried? Have you as you get into colored lighting? I'm not going to lie.

35:37 That would be sick. He and then he's not afraid to hit some 9in nails. 9in nails.

35:43 Well, something like it. Yeah. Okay. Like aggressive stripper music. But hold on a second. There's a large conversation.

35:50 Nails is surprising. I'm not going to lie. Nails is terrifying. This is actually coming out from the bottom of the bed in the red light. 9 in nails.

35:58 I want for real sleep. Sleeping monster. Uh, I actually read a book on how to eat your [ __ ] just like

36:12 nine. So like I got to go cough. Yeah, go ahead. Cuz I left that book out. Oh god. Hold on. You got to hear this. They're We're doing a uh we're filming some at his house. So, they did like a location scout to check his house out.

36:27 And he's sick as [ __ ] Uh, he left his How to Eat [ __ ] book out open on the couch. On the couch. So when the whole crew and C joke.

36:39 No, he should have said he was joking. Yeah. Said he was in his room while they were looking cuz he's sick. And then they they told me they heard him. Oh my god. They told me they heard him go [ __ ] And then he came out and grabbed his eating [ __ ] book. And they said it was on like they said it was like five pages left. He just which means he was reading it through it.

37:00 When somebody rang the doorbell, I was like "Oh hello. Hey, the book. We need the book."

37:06 It's called uh She Comes First. He sent me passages. It's a disturbing read. What?

37:14 She Comes first. Written by a man or a woman? It's got to be written by a woman.

37:18 I used to watch all that [ __ ] when I was on YouTube. I would just like how to make out with a girl, how to grind. Yeah.

37:25 Before any dance, just trying to get as much as I could in the novel. I I remember Ian Kerner wrote it. So, dude,

37:32 it's probably she comes first. That is a papaya. The thinking man's guide to pleasuring a woman. You're a thinking man.

37:41 So, yeah. Explain. I want to know the utterly humiliating. No, it's Dude, who wouldn't want to know more about, you know?

37:47 No, but everybody when everybody came over cuz I had clean the entire house was clean.

37:51 Yeah. Except for like that book on my couch. That's a statement. It was a real statement to the rest of the the cast or the crew. The whole crew saw it.

38:00 This guy means business. That's a thinking man that's ready to eat. First thing I said to them, I said, "I'm so sorry. Don't tell Shane." He did.

38:06 They all told me every single person. You hit him with a rodent where you're just like this like

38:10 the thinking man. Classic thinking. I mean, you never really thought to rest your hand on your chin. That would be ultimate support. How do you learn that is like it evaded you this whole time?

38:20 That what what has like evaded you that you got from this book? Um that uh that positioning is very important. Both of you need to be physically your bodies need to be comfortable because you're in it for the long haul.

38:31 It's like welding. Yeah. Oh, the buildup. The buildup sort of stuff. Yeah. And then like

38:39 what? Yeah. I was uh What's the buildup? Like I would just go originally I would just go straight for

38:46 like a hungry dog. Yeah. They put the food bowl out. You go right. But now, you know, you got to be guilty around.

38:54 Oh, yeah. The tr comes out when you get to it. Yeah, it's happening. And then just understanding that you can like uh you can use your gum to create pressure on the top like not the clitoris itself, but the top of the clitoris gum.

39:09 Your gum. Yeah. Like your top gum. So you could create you could create pressure there.

39:14 I dog. No. Explain this. You're putting your gum like pinning it down a little bit.

39:21 Yep. You're pinning it down and then you're using your your two fingers which I can't do which is

39:27 uh it kills me. No, it's okay. You got one wild one. Yeah. So you uh but you can then like you know put pressure on the like the G-spot from under as you're like creating pressure downward with your gum and then licking.

39:41 It's over. Yeah. It's over down. She can't go anywhere. [ __ ] I want to [ __ ] you like an animal.

39:50 Oh, hold on. Hang on. So, I don't play nightish nail snails. What was it? What do you play?

39:55 Well, so there was one song that I found very sexy. I had been on like an Only Fans, you know, this person I had some

40:02 fans. Yeah. What's that? Lonely Fans. Lonely Fans. I was a Lonely Fans subscriber to this woman.

40:06 Yeah. Uh she has since deleted her. She got her out. She found out you were on there.

40:12 You turned her straight. Straight. Yeah, it was good. Wait, so what was she playing? What was the soundtrack

40:17 the song was? So then I I Shazammed it that dude. How crazy is this? He told me that he Shazammed it while only fancing

40:25 while jacking off to only fans. Well, jacking off like Oh, you're just perusing.

40:30 Well, I had Jack. You had already finished. And then you say, "What's the name of that song?"

40:34 At a certain point, you go, "You know what? What was that song?" Fair enough. It was uh it was called Bent or No, wait, was that the name of the band? Yeah, it was called Bent by something German. Direwolf Wolf or Sirewolf.

40:47 Direwolf. No, no, no. Beerus. Is it like Doohost? Duh. Host is a Yeah. I mean, it's got the vibe of that. It's got nine sales vibe.

40:56 I got you. It's like that like industrial kind of metal. Yeah. Yeah. So So then I tried one time to like uh have sex to it, but it the the timing of it like a song like that,

41:09 you know, also the combo like, "Damn, where'd you hear about the song?" You'd have to be like,

41:13 "Oh yeah." Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't tell you exam. Yeah, there's I can't find a bent.

41:24 Oh, no man. You're having sex squid game. It's not this. That's not it. Yeah. I kind of like that. I like I like up really quick into the sex.

41:37 You know what I've seen on the plane a lot? I've been seeing older women with like mega big font reading erotica on the plane. That's all they read

41:44 all the time. And it's like telepromp. I was I was looking over the lady next to me today.

41:49 Lickedwood or Liquid. L I C H W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W O O D

41:53 like German. Yeah, liquid. Oh, there you go. That's more like techno. That's more like techno.

42:03 Low rider. Hold the good part. Yeah, true. cuz it's like a I like when they get the bad guys in John Wick.

42:14 Oh, wait. That's the drop. Bro, the red light [ __ ] You're mad, bro. You don't have sexy. What?

42:30 You're out of control. I forget what they're called. That's a thing. That's like gooner music.

42:34 It's what? Gooner music. I'm a gooner. Yeah, it's like battle faps and stuff. They'll do it to like [ __ ] like that.

42:42 Battle the [ __ ] I read a whole article like the state of Goonap. It's like me and you would be like, "Yo, we're about to watch who can last longer." And then you just battle fap your Gooner friend.

42:53 Oh, wait. Am I What's a Goonar? Goon. She loves porn. Gooning. Gooning's like, it's hardcore edging.

43:01 It's hardcore ed. It's like if you were to get your basement and set up typically for masturbating. Oh, no. I'm not a good girl.

43:07 Was that a compilation video you were watching that song? That? Yes. No. No. Was it like a compilation video of her?

43:15 No. Oh, so it was just her masturbating song. It wasn't one of those like follow the metronomes.

43:19 Yes. Like [ __ ] hypnos. No. The metronome kind of slaps honestly. I'll give it a shot for a minute. Then I'll go what the [ __ ] is this?

43:29 We've all tried, dude. Don't Don't lie. The metronome. Don't even worry. We can't give you the metronome. You'll be too powerful. I've seen it act too powerful for it.

43:39 You never tried it one day. No. Yeah. [ __ ] Yeah, it is tough. Then you realize you're teasing yourself and you go, I got to stop. This is kind of ridiculous.

43:47 Just a call back to my favorite episode you guys ever did with the Q+ one when you were talking about porn and you you cuz you were accusing him of looking at it really and then you were like, "What do you watch?" And you were like, "Joi and you you go that's an appetizer, bro. You got to have a warm up. [ __ ]

44:08 Yeah. Appetizer, bro. I mean, Shazaming a [ __ ] Only Fans video is impressive. And it's impressive. I would Yeah. I wouldn't think

44:16 it's impressive. Well, cuz I saw, you know, the sexy thing and I was like, "Oh,

44:20 yeah. Replicate it." Copy, copy, paste. The best the best porn video, and I've never seen anything like it ever again. There's a guy out there who just lets women, no, lets women hump his butt with their vaginas and he claims to give them multiple O's from them humping his butt with their vaginas. I was like, wow, this is that was one that was one where I

44:42 I literally turned the porn off and went upstairs. I was like, I'm not turning off tonight. I like saw it and laughed. I was like, I'm done. I can't.

44:49 Yeah, it's hilarious. But yeah, he's just like this muscly man. And he just sits there and the chicks just hump his butt

44:55 with the vaginas and he's title will be like she came twice and I was watching like wait what?

45:00 I think I think this guy's bagging for it. He's going I'm not gay. I just like somebody humping my butt.

45:06 Like a woman humping humping my butt and coming. I bet that feels good. Having a badge smash you.

45:12 Yeah. It's probably not bad. Probably tickles a little honestly. Yeah. A nge smash smash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

45:24 Something to think about. Something to consider. I think I'd seen that guy though, but not from that

45:30 Wang batt at the golf course. No, cuz Where'd you see him? Well, cuz like come twice is like one of my fetishes.

45:37 Oh jeez. Well, what? You got to be wank battling someone. Definitely. No. No. I just Is that not a That Well, first of all, it is a fit. There was a whole subreddit for that big

45:49 twice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. It's fine. A man. What's that?

45:53 A man or a woman? A man. Oh, there's something wrong with him. Yeah, cuz it's like so good that that he prematurely and then they keep going.

46:00 Yeah. Right. Uh but and it's just like a really tiny muscly guy that got uh call him tiny

46:07 but and he would just get dry humped. This Yeah, dude. That's how I fell into the video. Okay.

46:13 I was watching the guy get dry humped and I was like, "All right, goon state." If you kept if you kept following that, there would have been like a lady.

46:20 You follow the trail. Yeah, dude. You were right there. All you had to do is dunk your head under water and you would have saw him getting his pumps. That's the next video.

46:29 Dunk my head underwater. That's so crazy. We have I forgot it was from dry homoping. That's what it was.

46:35 The Gooners round table two overlaps of my fetishy or whatever. Fluttershy. You know the the the Gooners night, dude.

46:47 What's the last time you used, bro? Uh, been a little bit, but crazy right now.

46:52 I'm telling you, it's been a little bit. Texas does cure the sickness. You go down there, there's not a lot, dude. There's not a lot to be had. It's like

46:58 find it. True. Dude, getting her blood. You'd sniff it out. Um, kind spirit. It's really kind of e It's like emergency fap anymore,

47:11 dude. fat. So he would scan his face as soon as he got off the plane as soon as the plane lay in the airport going no shame. The government can know exactly what I

47:21 just call just call the capital. D I've touched down. I'm here. Here's my ID. No, dude. That's I forgot that's how it started. It was it was dry humping.

47:33 Yes. Cuz the Cuz the whole which comes from a panty job fetish. Yeah, I see. Yeah.

47:39 When it comes Hold on a second. Hold on a second. What's a pennant job? Penny job. I got you. It's

47:44 This is like the Belmar, brother. Crazy, dude. So, Penny Jobs, it's a whole world of ass jobs/outercourse,

47:56 dude. This is what it rules. What the [ __ ] is going on? Slash unexpected sex, which is not as aggressive sounds like, but basically,

48:07 how are you doing all this and line dancing? So, um, you should see how horny he is on the dance floor, bro. It's [ __ ] crazy.

48:14 Hey, Jobs. What girl? Okay, so anyway, but we I'll do this and then we could have that out. Okay, so if you like a real planned version of this would be Mano Job, which is

48:30 Bro, I'm not kidding. You're You're hurting our show. Oh, my bad. Explain. Explain. Well, I'm just saying if anybody wants to know what what we're talking about. The

48:42 easiest way to find this is through mano jobs. Where there's supposed to be hand jobs. Mano, I think man is

48:47 mono is Latin for hand. Oh, so mono job. My bad. It doesn't matter. Um, I was going to hold your feet to that one.

48:55 I was going the Latin root. But the general idea is what's the etmology of panny job? supposed to be. It's only supposed to be a hand job or a [ __ ] or like a little grind session, but she gets so into it that Oops. You know, it kind of like slides in a little bit for a little bit. That that is

49:13 it's a panty job is when you stay out of course, but you're kind of it's like between skin and the panties and you're kind of like hitting that gap.

49:20 Yeah, it's not bad. I didn't know the name for it, but yes, I've indulged. Yeah,

49:24 it's incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, it's a really great video. I've indulged.

49:28 It's great. And so this guy, sometimes it's outside and it's a lady in a sundress. She just lifts it up. It's a nice time. Yes. They're kind of going belly to belly standing. Am I right?

49:36 Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. Carrie Light. What? You know her name?

49:41 Probably. What did you just say? Carrie Light. Is that her? That That is a lady that's on Xbox.

49:46 Well, I need to know this because I've been looking for this [ __ ] lady. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

49:50 I saw it years ago. I have a lost panty job video that haunts I can never find it. It was I was like got to remember that. Woke up the next day and I was like, it's gone. Do you want to describe it to me? And

50:00 I've never You're might have reached the goon state. Hold on. What did you say?

50:04 I do think I'm probably like in the top 1 to 2%. A pennant job of those videos. Yeah.

50:10 And I'm not proud of that. I I mean pretty think it's not that bad. A panty job,

50:16 you know. Interesting. Penny job's not bad. It's when you like Penny Job's so innocent and then you see the muscle guy getting humped in the butt by girls. Christ.

50:24 Yeah. What? I've been clean. Well, take it easy, man. Playing since last February.

50:28 I haven't jerked off since last February. All right, cool. Oh, you haven't even jerked off.

50:32 Congratulations on your Thank you. Yeah. Engagement. That's Well, it must be nice, dude.

50:36 Yeah. Must be nice. That's when Shane hit me with the f right when it happened.

50:40 My wings have been clipped so many times. Oh, I've I've gone no masturbation, no porn, and my wings have been clipped so many times. I've been flying and then they just I crash right back into the ground.

50:51 Sure. Dickorous. True. That happens. It's fine. You know, there's nothing wrong with it.

51:00 No, I don't beat myself up about it. Got you. Loud and clear. So, Gerby, you're one of the You're saying you're top 1% horniest guys.

51:10 You are one of I regret saying that. I just think that it's not a horniest guys. And what I meant was like that style of video because there was a whole subreddit.

51:18 You've been locking it down. How long have you been holding it down? For years.

51:21 Oh, really? You found your thing. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a alt account? No. Oh, you just go anonymous browsing.

51:29 What did you mean by that? Like I like Do you have a Reddit just set up for you to watch porn?

51:34 No, I just have my regular just rock it. Right. But it's not like I Yeah. You don't care. You don't have like a public Yeah. You're not trying to get like Red Karma and [ __ ] right?

51:44 You're not commenting. No. Okay. You promise? Uh like I commented like not on get information different.

51:51 Not on pool. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say like you're not commenting on like the [ __ ] you're jerking.

51:56 No, be like I would say a comment to get information about Scarlet is fine. If you're

52:02 She's beautiful. What's her name? Has anyone actually seen her face? Some great comments name.

52:09 Yeah, if you're information forging, that's an acceptable comment. Yeah, that's where I think you

52:13 What else does she have? Bottom 10% because there's dudes commenting like No, I was just saying in so far as like

52:20 the type of video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's always nice when you hear somebody knows what you're talking about in terms of something like that.

52:27 Yeah. Yeah. Cuz rarely do guys get to have conversations like this, dude. We're in the We're in the, you know, we're in my man cave, dude. Pool table sitting around talking jizz.

52:38 That's what it's all about. Camera setup's nasty. Camera's nice. It's that new 8K.

52:45 Spotify is going to love it. Spotify is going to go, "Damn, these boys blessed us again."

52:50 The dogs playing poker painting. It does. Spotify is going to fafo, bro. Chill.

52:54 You're going to what? Chill. Fafo. I don't know. Video of the boomers. No. Oh my god. There's boomers that like are going against like the uh ICE people protesting and they're like scream at him and the guy's like saying like, "Oh, Trump." And these like gender goblins get around him and steal his glasses, but he's like 55, 60. He starts to run and just falls like eat [ __ ]

53:18 Falls ass up, dude. He slides on all fours with his ass up face across. Dude, the worst fall you could imagine.

53:26 Like an A. It looks AI. The type of fall. Like people don't fall like that. This is fake.

53:30 What side? Like what side was your He was on He was like It was Yeah. He was walking through a protest and he was like [ __ ] qu steals his glasses,

53:40 falls ass up, huh? I saw that. He got back up and then a dude kicked his legs out again. He just went like face first into a curb, man. a huge gash and had no idea what the [ __ ] was going on.

53:51 Still trying to fight. Go home, man. Everyone needs to go home on those things. Too dangerous.

53:56 That's how all boomers will die. Walking by, bro. Yeah. I [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of you guys. You're lucky I don't just get a heart attack.

54:06 They're so frail, bro. Clear the culde-sac [ __ ] Like boomers have not ran in 30 years.

54:12 Yeah. If you try to start running, dude, it's over for them. Yeah. If you if you go from no exercise to like political violence.

54:17 Oh yeah. Fist fight. A wrestling match in a fist fight. You're dead. I know. Equilibrium is probably like real [ __ ] up,

54:24 bro. Yeah. That's that's been my take from all the fights. It's like go home, dude. Every No one's built for this, dude. Stay home. Hit it on Facebook. All caps on Facebook.

54:34 Stay in your space. Hit them on Facebook. Do not take it to the streets right now.

54:38 At least let the weather get. It's chilly dude. It is too cold. Freezing, dude.

54:42 That guy was in his glory, though. At first he was so happy. Yeah. Then he took it to the streets.

54:48 Take it to the street. You got to just let the people take your glasses. You got to just go. Yeah. Got my glasses.

54:54 Yeah. Fell up with this leg. Yeah. Knees kind of out. Also, imagine though if you're if you're crushing Fox News all day every day and the [ __ ] Lib protesters hit your block.

55:09 There's I think Fox is trying to get us into some Iran right now. I think we're back on it.

55:14 Oh, really? Cuz they're having protests and we're like, "We're with you. We're with the protesters."

55:18 We didn't start this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're like, "Yeah, there's protests for like a regime change.

55:24 That's all you got to do, dude. Say our name. Say it one more time." Yeah. True.

55:28 We're candy man. Say regime change three times in a mirror. Colombia. I'm telling you, they got two more.

55:33 Bogota. They made a mistake. I mean, do Here's the thing, though. Do you think Venezuela is going to kind of boss up since they have all this investment getting poured in? If I was a president of Columbia too, I'd be like, "You won't [ __ ] pour a billion dollars in my country, pussy."

55:46 Space told me what they were doing. Like they get they went through hyperinflation in like 2016 and then all these like doctors and [ __ ] were getting paid like 50 cents a day doing captions to train AI to get smarter cuz like AI has a hard time doing like how many buses are in the squares. So like these people just got like decked with hyperinflation and then started doing captures all day long for like food pretty much. Yeah,

56:10 it's a tough deck of cards to get dealt. That is. It is a tough one. I stand with my Venezuelan people.

56:16 Me, too. I'm liberal. I'm liberal. I It Yeah, I guess I guess the libs do stand with Venezuela.

56:22 You want to build a wall? No, I don't. Yeah, you want to build No, I don't, dude. Don't even [ __ ] joke about that.

56:28 The wall [ __ ] beat your ass. I just went to a [ __ ] crazy showing for a house.

56:33 Where? Yeah, this is wild. Down. Oh, man. I was like going through one. It was [ __ ] sick. And then like we're going through it and then the garage is awesome. But like on the floor of the garage and like these red letters was 14 a lightning bolt 88. I was like no one knows what this means.

56:49 Really? Wait, is it is that SS? Oh yeah, it's 14 is like the letter the 14 words they live by in 88 Hitler.

56:56 Damn. He's a proud white man. Wow. On the ground. Proud white man also using Zillow.

57:03 Yeah. Just a beat of Yeah, it is funny. Hey, the Nazis still have to do all that.

57:08 Yeah, I know. My house is on [ __ ] True. on Zillow. [ __ ] [ __ ] Checking your Z estimate, too.

57:15 Yeah. On Zillow going like soon it goes down, you're like start looking around like where are they?

57:21 Who am I going to blame for this? Oh, never mind. I remember. I remember this. 50,000 over asking. Yeah, [ __ ] it.

57:31 Damn. You know, yeah, that's pretty that's I mean borderline exciting. You never really sees stuff like that. You never see an actual

57:37 premises. Sweet. I knew of somebody. Sweet. Holy [ __ ] I knew I knew of somebody who was in like a long-term relationship with this guy

57:45 and like it got pretty serious and then they finally realized this guy by night would be online like full white supremacist

57:53 and they had to like break the rel they were dating for like years and the relationship broke.

57:56 The chat logs. Hm. She got the chat I think logged on to the computer maybe thinking like is there any hoes in this house and it was just straight up like we must preserve the future for like god damn

58:07 gez I love com just like working by day and then you know by night train by day

58:13 he was trained by day hate by literally everybody on the internet who comments on [ __ ]

58:19 wouldn't change my [ __ ] face. It's just so funny to like you know I don't know what you're laughing at. Liver King is literally going to break through this window.

58:28 I hope he does, dude. Why are you talking like this? Put me out of my misery. Nah, Liver King would respect that, bro. If he knew you were close to suicide, he would probably hit you with the ancestral tennis and build you up. It's the kind of guy he is, for real, honestly.

58:39 I like Liver King. I just I wish he never lied. That's all you see him in front of the Crumble Cookies with [ __ ] like swinging like clubs and [ __ ] I like that.

58:47 Crumble Cook is so bad for you. Crumble Cookies. That's why Liver King's out there with a club.

58:50 He went to Waterburger one time with his sons and got like a crazy ass meal. got like 50 burgers.

58:57 Clip it. Joke world. Joke world. Billy McCusker. Libert went to Waterburger and got a crazy ass me.

59:03 You got to see the clip. It's [ __ ] crazy. Joke world. He said he was going to teach his sons how like normal people go out to eat and it was like 50 burgers, 20 fries, milkshakes sodas.

59:14 Yeah. Me sophomore year, high school, dude. And the boys would go bacon. It's not just Li King. There's a couple bros out here right now stopping people from going into fast food places and they offer you a 100 bucks. They're going into the Taco Bell. They go, "I'll give you 100 bucks. I'll walk up and get out of my way. Give me a cheesy gordini."

59:32 I love those. You see a lot of people, they see the hunter and they go, I don't give a [ __ ] Taco Bell.

59:38 Also, you have it on the mind. So, you go if you're in the parking lot of Taco Bell, almost nothing can stop you.

59:43 You've you've driven there. I know. You're You're going in. It's just funny. You watch it, you go,

59:49 "Nah, nah, [ __ ] it. I'm going to eat this." Cheese crust. I love cheesy gord supreme. Mhm. I tried to get one in Mechanicsburg when I left after going to the racetrack. They [ __ ] my order up.

59:59 Oh, really? What happened? They They gave me rabbit food and I was just like, "Ah, whatever. Probably better off not getting it."

1:00:05 What was it? Tomatoes and lettuce on the cheeseburger dude. Bro, how do they How do they forget the meat? It's I've known people it's happened to McDonald's where you get a burger.

1:00:13 No, I think they had meat as well. They had the meat. They had everything. He just doesn't like vegetables at all.

1:00:18 Oh, they put the pick it off. I agree. It's a cheese gordita crunch. I [ __ ] you got the supreme. They gave you the supreme

1:00:24 cold. True. Didn't take off the tomatoes. You guys should have I don't even want to bring it up.

1:00:32 What? The square the line dancing. Oh, okay. It makes me sad. All right. Well, if it makes you sad that Yeah. It's

1:00:39 I've told them both already. The way you rushed into the room and pushed a girl out of the way to dance next to your sweetheart.

1:00:46 Hey, take my sweetheart. She She She was very very pretty. She's really pretty, but uh you know,

1:00:53 he shoved a woman out of the like literally and the and the woman wouldn't Hold on. What was that?

1:01:01 It couldn't be further from the truth. Are you sure? Did I shove a woman out of the way?

1:01:08 Yeah. No. Did you put your hands on her? No. You never touched her? Absolutely not.

1:01:13 I watched you touch her. Okay. You were like literally like No. Could I imagine a scenario where you

1:01:22 you boxed her out? Physically boxed her out and started dancing while kind of upset you and you're not you

1:01:28 Well, hold on. Further further from the truth is crazy. The way that you phrased it, I didn't like it. It made me sound boxed out instead of shoved.

1:01:38 Yeah. And dancing while boxing out a little going, "Come on, [ __ ] No, it's not that. It again, I I we can't have this conversation because you're going to get too upset by it." Everyone saw it.

1:01:50 Okay, we could bring down a witness. We could bring down two witnesses right now.

1:01:54 Lady in the way and he was dancing with a very pretty girl. Let's address what's actually happening here, which I'm the only one dancing. So Shane wants to go to watch me to find a reason to get upset by what I'm doing.

1:02:07 No, I was very excited for you and I was happy for you. Honestly, I was happy for you the entire time.

1:02:11 That's a bully. It It's It was What was going on? There's nothing I was going to do. That wasn't fall under the gaze of scrutiny.

1:02:20 Yeah, because that's what he's there to do. No, I was there to drink and have a good time,

1:02:24 which is watching me watching you dance. Yes. Yeah. Watch. But you like dancing. So what's the problem? I like watching you dance. It's

1:02:30 because you're watching to make fun of me. No, no, no. Yes. I was excited to see your moves and you had good moves and I was saying, "Damn, Steve, you're pretty good at this."

1:02:37 Okay, fair enough. If So anyway, I was excited. I had two dances I knew how to do. One of them came on. I boxed out one of our colleagues.

1:02:48 Sure. To dance with this uh pretty woman and he called me out on he was right. I shouldn't have done it.

1:02:54 It was it was the line right in front of us. So it was like from me to you. I was sitting down. I watched Steve come running back from the bar with two drinks cuz he went to get us drinks. The song started playing while he was at the bar. So he was in a hurry to get back

1:03:06 cuz he wanted to show this lady the moves, which I understand. Then he comes running back, puts him on the table. There's now since he left, somebody filled his spot in the line dancing. So, the only place he could go to get next door is to push that person out of the way. And I knew he was gonna do it. And I sat there and watched him put the drinks down and start to shove a girl out of the way who didn't move, which was pretty crazy.

1:03:32 That's pretty wild. She didn't get out of the way. She kept dancing while he was like,

1:03:35 "She's awesome, by the way. What's that? We know her. She's awesome." Oh, I I think she's great. I was so happy she stood her ground.

1:03:41 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was so proud. But while he was doing it, I said, "Steve, you're the horniest guy on earth."

1:03:47 And then he stormed off the dance. He's like, "Don't call me horny." Stormed out.

1:03:51 Yeah. I don't like when he yells that stuff. Shane doesn't like when you talk to women.

1:03:56 I've never been in a situation where if I'm talking to a woman that you don't come up and

1:04:02 I don't. Hold on. You're telling me he's a bit of a player hater? I say, yeah, I'd say it's a player.

1:04:07 I will say I do hate the game. Yeah. I don't typically I don't hate a player. I hate the game, dude.

1:04:14 I hate it if I see someone doing moves to try to get a girl or just talking to a girl.

1:04:19 Talking to a girl. I You talked to several women that night. Did I interrupt once?

1:04:24 No. Arrest my case. All right, fair enough. Now, when you shove the coworker out of the way to get next to a woman, did I speak?

1:04:31 It was a sloppy move. I regretted it. It was incredibly sloppy. Did anything come of it?

1:04:37 No. As soon as he stopped, a jack dude with a mullet came over and started grinding on that girl.

1:04:44 Hey, what are you going to do? No, but several other women were talking to him the whole time

1:04:48 and I was I was delighted for you. That's very nice. Have you sent you over the edge?

1:04:53 Box out was especially when it when it's cuz the whole time I saw him coming and I was like there's no way he's about to do what I know he's about to do. I'm in.

1:05:03 If any if any of my friends boxed a girl out to get next to a girl, I'd be like,

1:05:08 "Yeah, it doesn't matter who it is." I go, "What the [ __ ] are you doing, dude? That's crazy.

1:05:12 You're so horny." Yeah. If you're the horniest guy on earth dude stop. Yeah, dude.

1:05:18 If you watched me box out a girl to get close to another girl, what would you say?

1:05:22 I would. You'd be so happy. I mean, even Jesus dropped the cross three times. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. True. Especially

1:05:28 especially the being at a bar, hearing the song coming on, knowing the babes there

1:05:33 going, "Oh, this is my song." He was excited. I made a blunt times people do stupid [ __ ] when they're [ __ ] revved up. You know what I mean?

1:05:39 And I'm allowed to say it. I'm allowed to go, "Dude, what the [ __ ] you doing?"

1:05:42 Yeah. I If this is how we do it comes on, I'll go my favorite [ __ ] song. Now, would you shove a woman out of the way to get close to a woman?

1:05:50 I see myself. I could see myself shove making the mistake of boxing out for sure. Under oath, I would describe it as a a sled shove.

1:05:58 Under oath. Okay. Box square with elbows. How about that? Is that a fair? It was a foul.

1:06:05 It's a foul. If it was on the If it was on the basketball court, they teed him up. It was Draymond.

1:06:11 It was a physical box. I can't wait to have eyes on you. I couldn't. I can't wait.

1:06:18 Please, Steve. To get you talking to women. Steve, you'll be in bed when I'm talking to the babes dude.

1:06:25 I don't talk to a woman before 10:00 p.m. That's vamp, dude. Yeah, I'm going to start staying up late.

1:06:32 I'm like, ow, start staying up late. You should do vamp, you're horny. I would love that. I welcome that. I welcome that type of scrutiny.

1:06:42 No, you need to know I'm not a crook. It would be funny if you just got hammered trying to stay up late and then he was on like a movie date and you're like you horny [ __ ] and have him removed from the building.

1:06:55 Now I'd like you please answer me. What would you do if you saw me kind of going like this to one girl to go to the girl next to me? What would you say?

1:07:03 I put the blinders on. Let you get to work. Let I would get to No, I mean don't fib to me like that.

1:07:11 I would not. No, I'm more of a tabulator. I would tabulate and I'd wait till later and go.

1:07:16 That's interesting. That was crazy you did that. That's a wild one. I couldn't contain myself once I saw it. I was like Steve.

1:07:24 Yeah. Well, especially you were he it was like he was jammed up to get to the floor and you had you were him clocked and you were like I know it's about to happen. Yeah. Which is also another big pressure.

1:07:33 So when he hit when he hit the hit the foul. But I I mean I'm sad you think that I was there to criticize you. I told you I wasn't. I was I was there. I was genuinely happy to watch you. You were frolicking. It was nice.

1:07:44 Sure. And but and I do also want to say that I appreciate being, you know, teased about stuff like because it's important to have checks and balances.

1:07:53 Sure. And it is true that like But for you in my life, I I'd probably be, you know,

1:07:59 you'd be doing that for real a lot. You'd be doing that a lot. A lot. There's no doubt.

1:08:03 If a player is in the game, he needs rules. That's right. True. And I' I'd run a muck.

1:08:09 Have you? He's not afraid to run a muck. If I didn't have a fishbowl, you know, I'd be

1:08:15 That's how surprise sex happens. What? Have you pulled from swear dancing yet? No.

1:08:22 Interesting. I watched it. You definitely pulled. You were You were doing well.

1:08:26 Seeds are planting. I saw some numbers get exchanged. Oh. Oh, I went out on a few dates with uh Yeah,

1:08:31 there we go. Yeah. And very attractive women. Nice work. Oh, thanks. Yeah, that's it's it's just because of the show. So,

1:08:38 yeah. No [ __ ] You got to do something because I'm [ __ ] What else are we doing?

1:08:41 Yeah, that's nasty. All those years of hard work. It did hurt. It did hurt when the Jack Mullet guy came in and stole your big

1:08:47 That guy's awesome, first of all. I know, but he's I see what's going on there. There's a lot of wolves in that building. There's a lot of There's a lot of cowboys in [ __ ] Eastern Pennsylvania.

1:08:58 Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of guys role playing in there for girls. Yeah, true. I mean, that's a classic Shepherd, dude.

1:09:06 Dude, I'm basically I'm basically Chris Kyle or whatever. Is that his name? Chris Kyle.

1:09:11 The American sniper. Yeah. You got You're either a wolf or a shepherd, son. Or, you know, or a sheep. Which one are you? I'm a shepherd. You're a wolf.

1:09:18 But those me big time, dude. I think you pushed a sweet sheep out of the way to be a predator.

1:09:24 That's no sheep. And as a shepher, she's no sheep. No, that's that's she's no sheep.

1:09:30 You think she's up to no good? Not that she good, but that's, you know, there's she's that's that's, you know,

1:09:36 I mean, I will say her sticking around seemed like she was being funny. Yeah. Cuz anybody else would have got out of the way.

1:09:42 She's very funny. She stayed there cuz she knew what he was doing. Yeah. She kind of she kind of was like

1:09:48 she kind of was like, "What are you going to do about it?" type. And Steve was ready to go. He would go as far as it took.

1:09:54 If I didn't intervene, you would have thrown her to the ground. The young men that go to line

1:09:57 bump into each other while doing this. It was a crowded fool. It was a I I would describe it as a square and they were they were at the corner, the front corner.

1:10:07 I don't know why I just exposed myself again. There's no other spot for him to go right there and he went

1:10:14 Yeah, I was wrong. I was wrong. He's a wolf, dude. I was wrong. And you embarrassed me.

1:10:24 Sorry. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that to you. rerun the clip of the [ __ ] Libert King at the [ __ ] water burger.

1:10:34 I Li King went to Waterburg with his friends and had crazy meals. That was so funny.

1:10:40 Billy Mcrossar. It's hard sitting next to the Colossus in the game. It's like I can't keep up.

1:10:49 Shut the [ __ ] up, Billy. No, I think you're the funniest. You're the funniest dude. Shut the [ __ ] up.

1:10:53 Phone. You must be a [ __ ] You're the funniest. It was so funny though. I thought about it then. You know, sometimes you just should.

1:11:01 I did. Trust me. Look, I Well, here's the thing. Say yes. It's going to be on the best of 2026.

1:11:11 Those [ __ ] that go to line, the young kids that are going to line dance, you got to watch out for them.

1:11:15 Yeah. They got 1488 in their garage. No, they don't. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. They're like the line dancers and stuff are the kids. You see there's kids that are like 24 posting the like uh get ready with me. A life in the day of a 24y old in like Houston.

1:11:28 That's exactly who [ __ ] That was Mr. Steal Your Girl. That was Mr. Steal Your Girl.

1:11:32 They're terrifying. He was a handsome fella. Gotcha. Yeah. The guy who came in and stole your prize.

1:11:37 It was not my You paraded her around. You were going for it. Yeah. She was You were You were dancing for a while. She was showing you. She was teaching you moves.

1:11:46 Can I Can I That's so [ __ ] up. Can I say something and then cut it? Sure. For sure. Hey,

1:11:51 and we're back. Yeah, we're back. Okay, fair enough. I should get that last bit.

1:11:56 No, no, no. I think it's fair, Steve. It's context. Context match. Yeah, you look like a freak, you know.

1:12:02 You're totally fair. You We're allied right now on this episode. You and I are allies, dude. We're [ __ ] You're I'm

1:12:08 You guys have all been allied with You guys have been allies. The McCusker brothers are on your side. It's me against the world. I'm Germany.

1:12:14 You're way I'm Germany. Sorry. Sorry. I call Germany. You're England. No, I'm not England.

1:12:18 We forced your hand. And you're in England situation. I had to do it. Poland. I had to take Poland right away.

1:12:26 You're France. I'm USSR. You're next. Oh, you're not. I'm USSR. When I [ __ ] kill myself.

1:12:32 Kill myself. I'll kill everyone here. I'm going to starve to death in front of you.

1:12:36 Do you remember when uh we put the crippling uh financial sanctions on Russia? Supposed to like put them back to the stone age. Like what happened there?

1:12:44 Fake. Yeah. Wait, is that recently? No, that was like when everyone changed your profile picture to the Ukraine flag and said like Russia.

1:12:53 Well, they had that [ __ ] pipeline they supply only supply Europe with all their natural gas. I think

1:12:57 then something happened to it. I don't know. No one even knows. [ __ ] Somehow somebody blew it up. We wouldn't do that to our allies.

1:13:04 Anyway, so I didn't mean to kill the convers but whenever we was talking about Venezuela, I wanted to

1:13:09 say that too. Just remember Yeah. Like it was supposed to be back to the stone age and it's like

1:13:14 if what's how is that still working? The prediction is they're going to grind their economy to like dust with the war and eventually they'll collapse again.

1:13:23 Okay, that's the prediction. The equipment I've seen them using over there though. It can't be that [ __ ] expensive.

1:13:28 Isn't it bad? I mean, it's like a [ __ ] tank. It's like a Yeah, it's covered in for real. They have They have to have Battlebots tanks because they get hit with drones. So, the older tanks have like

1:13:39 10 ft of [ __ ] hanging off of them. Oh, man. Yep. Yeah. And their drones are like Best Buy drones.

1:13:46 That's all you need. It's like 30 grand a month from Best Buy funds the war. Honestly,

1:13:51 I wonder if after this war they'll get brought into the fold on favorable terms.

1:13:54 Never. Russia has the worst luck. Why? They just been getting [ __ ] on. They've been getting [ __ ] on forever. They really have.

1:14:00 Why would they [ __ ] hate Russia, bro? But they didn't they help us big time in [ __ ] WW2?

1:14:06 Yeah. No, everyone forgets about that. They helped us. And on this podcast, we don't bring up past Wars. That's my one rule.

1:14:13 Wait, what? Michael Michael from Love on the Spectrum started a podcast and he was like, "In this podcast, we have one rule. We do not speak on past war."

1:14:21 That's a good rule, actually. Yeah. Good for him, dude. He get he could get his hands on the wrong book.

1:14:31 Lose the liquid death money. Yeah, dude. I don't want you to feel bad about anything you do.

1:14:37 No. Time out. I don't want you to feel bad about or worry about because I truly mean what I say about that, which is like I need checks and balances on

1:14:47 Well, I like what you're doing. Cowboy hat, tank top, snake boots, or I support that.

1:14:53 Uh, they're not snake, but I do have cowboy boots. You should think about getting snake skins

1:14:57 or gators. You could be the You can be the man in black, dude. Get all black. Black cowboy hat.

1:15:02 No, no. It's all like browns and tans. No, you got to [ __ ] a little bit. No, no, no. I've I've

1:15:08 You've moved on. Yeah. Not even a feather in your cap? No. I would wait till you master the dance before you go all black.

1:15:16 Uh, no. But Evelyn, yeah, she got me one that was really funny. That's awesome.

1:15:22 Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Do you think you're going to stay in line dance or move on to different

1:15:27 I've already started doing some jive? Uh, here we go. Yeah. Got a little What the [ __ ] is jive?

1:15:32 Jive? Well, you're going to see it's in the show. It's like cuz before the customer walks in today

1:15:40 like I'm demonstrating to Kyla some new dance techniques. Yeah. We're excited to have you tomorrow.

1:15:45 Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be a blast. Yeah. Be a good old time. Sorry, this is boring topic really quick, but has anybody seen the rehearsal too? Like the one where he goes and he Never mind.

1:15:57 All right. Hey, what is that? It's Nathan Fielder. What? What? Nothing. What's rehearsal too? It's like that Nathan Fielder thing on HBO.

1:16:05 Goes into an airplane. I've heard of it. Yeah, I heard it's really good. I thought it was so funny.

1:16:10 But if we haven't seen it. I'm excited to see Jive. What type of music is played during Jive?

1:16:15 Like uh Jazz Dance, that kind of stuff. Yeah, baby looks like it's going to stuff like that. That would be exactly that.

1:16:24 [ __ ] Yeah. Like Big Band. Is that what it's called? Big Band and Swing. Yeah.

1:16:29 Our grandfather liked Big Band. I also loved Herb Albert. Her grandfather, you're creating a monster.

1:16:35 I try so hard, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Just a minute ago, I was apologizing. Then you hit me with your dancing to [ __ ] baby. Baby [ __ ] [ __ ] Son's ass. [ __ ] What's the next step after drive?

1:16:52 Whatever comes up on the YouTube like I really need you to get into crumping. Yes. Please get into crumping. Yeah, come with me. Well, I I do I do at some point though want to show you the fake ID uh line dance cuz I

1:17:09 I'm going to I'd like to see it when we finally get a day off. I'd love I'm going to go back to line dancing with you.

1:17:13 Yeah, that's awesome. I love it. That's when we're going to have to shove some people cuz I I need a lot of space.

1:17:20 Okay. Yeah, you go. True. We can clear it out for you. Okay. That place would be so hype if we cleared it out for you to dance, too.

1:17:26 Yeah. To make the accountant, do what's it? Do you ever see the count too? No. Dancing and they get in a big fight. It's pretty sick. Two brothers, they just love each other. They go line dancing. They get in a big fight. It's pretty

1:17:35 That is gonna It's exactly what's gonna happen. Well, you can look it up. It's called Foot Loose the remake fake ID. And then it's

1:17:42 And you mastered the dance from the movie. Or is it just the I definitely have it down. I wouldn't say I mastered it cuz there's I mean there

1:17:51 Dude, there's people at that line dance. That black dude and the white guy, they were [ __ ] killing it.

1:17:56 Nasty. It was enjoyable to watch. Yeah. Yeah. And then lady, yeah, people take it very seriously.

1:18:02 Oh yeah. [ __ ] tight. And then Gerby's gets out there. And then when it was all over, then Shane danced to Drake. He started playing Drake.

1:18:11 Dance. Once everybody laughed, I got out on the floor. This lady was being mean to him for no reason.

1:18:16 What the hell? Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Like straight up yelling at him for something.

1:18:20 Yeah. What was that? What did she say? She was just saying like you're I'm not good or I don't know.

1:18:26 [ __ ] I was like sitting down. She came over like, "Hey, fuck." Yeah. Like I was like, "All right."

1:18:31 She might have been She might have been nagging you, though. And I I tried to just like walk between them.

1:18:36 And then he was like he Shane just kind of was like this. And then uh he goes, "Don't worry about it." And then he's like to her, he's like, "You get her thumbs down."

1:18:46 That's just good clean fun. It's good clean fun. Back to Drake. Yeah. Getting the thumbs down. That's what she gets.

1:18:54 That's That's all you need to do to somebody, [ __ ] Don't be afraid to talk after the Waterburger thing.

1:18:58 Oh, sorry. It's just hard to keep up. After the Waterburger fiasco. Maybe you should just edit me out of the entire thing.

1:19:03 No, we're playing 10 times. I should roll. That was so good. That's the Patreon episode.

1:19:08 I should roll. No. Who hit that burp? Probably Matt. Matt might have Oh, wow. Sorry. That might

1:19:15 I really apologize. I got I got I didn't know. And then you said that. I'm like, my mouth does taste pretty horrible right now.

1:19:22 My mouth tastes like I ate trash. You burped up tacos. Yeah. I was like, "Bro, it literally smells like they just cooked them."

1:19:27 I hate the smell of bourbs. I apologize. Has anything breaking down? [ __ ] No, it's like fully Yeah, it's like a fully cooked meal. That's It doesn't even smell bad, dude.

1:19:35 I ate like a pint of guac before I did this. That [ __ ] stays with you all night long.

1:19:39 Yeah, I'll be Yeah, that was bad. I'm sorry. We'll say when you start filming, you forget how much of a [ __ ] you are.

1:19:44 What? Dude, I have to wake up early. I know. It's crazy. Yeah. 6:18 for me tomorrow.

1:19:50 Early golf time. I started doing calisthenics and it makes me want to [ __ ] die.

1:19:56 Cool. Yeah, pull up. I'm doing like three pull-ups at a time. It's so embarrassing.

1:20:01 No, I mean pull-ups are hard. I for real might trans just to make it less embarrassing. I'm [ __ ] up.

1:20:09 True. Just take my tits back out. 10 pull-ups in. True. It is the most embarrassing thing in the world. Just failing doing three pull-ups.

1:20:18 You got to do it, though. At least you can do three, dude. It's pretty good. That's what I was saying. Three is like three of three.

1:20:25 Yeah. Three over and over again, dude. All the real three every minute for 10 minutes. That's

1:20:29 That's awesome. Well, we did. I think we've done it, dude. Thank you all. Yeah. Great seeing you.

1:20:39 And Matt, when you head back down Austin Way, I'll be holding down the fort with these two fellas.

1:20:45 Got Spa Dog in here. Yeah. You guys are going to get to know each other a little better. All true. And he is a delight.

1:20:52 But I mean, me and Gervin got along. We golf [ __ ] together. We had a good time.

1:20:55 Was that with Phil? Yeah. I was using women's clubs. It wasn't a good time. Yeah. Till you got his goat.

1:21:02 Yeah. Yeah. Bumped him twice. I That's like good, clean fun. Did you Why did you get so upset about that?

1:21:08 Cuz I was drunk. I don't like it. Cuz I was drunk cuz I bumped him twice. You don't like mess around the golf course.

1:21:12 That's right. Okay, that makes sense. A gentleman. It's a gentleman's game. I can't I can't If people are taking golf seriously, I get very mad.

1:21:20 Yeah, he's turning into a jackass. I Bro, I was going [ __ ] like less than your cart was playing with

1:21:29 he became a friend. No one was home. We were having a good time. Yeah, you guys were having a good time. Yeah,

1:21:38 the bumps were not hard. They were light bumps. It was definitely not jackass. Did fair enough.

1:21:44 Admit they were light bombs. They were 100% light bombs. Did you ever react? Uh, no.

1:21:51 You became dominant daddy. He did d me. Yeah, he did. At my own golf outing right now.

1:21:56 It's perfectly okay to say, "Hey, I don't like this boundaries. Set boundaries." That's not overreacting.

1:22:03 And then you Hold on. Hold on. If somebody bump If somebody bumped somebody's If somebody bumped my cart and I turned around and said, "Hey, I don't like that."

1:22:11 Watch it, Buster. What do you think's gonna happen? You're getting bumped, right? So, I'm in checkmate immediately. And so, all I'm going to do is say, "You know what? I'll put my foot down. This is my thing." I said, "Chris, let me out."

1:22:22 Yeah. As soon as he got out of the car, I was just You just started staring at me.

1:22:25 Chase. And then I said, "Well, how do you diffuse this?" You can't. No. So, I just sort of laid there and took it.

1:22:32 It was one second. As soon as I saw you were like actually sad, I left you alone.

1:22:36 I don't think that there was time dilation going on there. Weird. Sure. But well, I was very annoyed.

1:22:43 Yeah, you got mad at me. I got mad at the whole [ __ ] I don't tolerate that. I didn't say tolerate. I don't know what I said.

1:22:50 I said, "Hey, don't bump me or whatever." Said, "I'm not on your level." Is exactly

1:22:53 that was what he did say. No, I'm not on your I'm not on your level right now. I don't feel like dealing with this. I'm not dealing with this. I'm not on your level right now.

1:22:59 Oh, that's a great thing to say. Clear boundary set. Yeah. True. Yeah. Damn. Why Why'd you take it so bad?

1:23:06 Gervin was unreal. You took it so bad. You got in the car and went home. My mom was like, "Come say hi to people." And you're like, "Absolutely not."

1:23:12 How How many people am I saying hi to? We said a lot of people. You got to say hi to a lot of people. It's a [ __ ] Down Syndrome charity.

1:23:19 It's a charity event for Down Syndrome. I thought that the I thought we were done with the obligation of doing the charity. All right. Next time.

1:23:29 No, you're fine. No. No. I feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad. You did exactly what

1:23:34 you would do. You would do. No one was like, "What the fuck?" What day was that?

1:23:40 I'll go back. Phil was like Phil was like, "Where the [ __ ] is Gerbin?" I was like, "You went home." And that was it. We went all

1:23:45 tired. He got bumped. He got twice. He got all up at his grill and [ __ ] He got bumped twice on the 18th.

1:23:51 17th. 17th. All the way down 17. Turn around 18. All the way up 18. Admit it. Slow round.

1:23:59 Admit it. It was funny when I was playing corporate outings. Admit it was funny when I was playing Flight of the Valkyries on the Bluetooth while chasing. jackass.

1:24:06 Sure. It was great. You got to you got to mad dog him and bump him back as hard as go crazy.

1:24:12 He was He was the VC. I was in a helicopter playing fortunate song. He hit the deck, dude.

1:24:19 I hated it. But your dad was a blast. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, man. Uh Chris was reminding us of one of his lines cuz Billy's back swing really quick and uh Billy was just like joking with him like, "I missed that cuz you were talking to my back swing." And your dad's like, "I had to be an auctioneer to talk into your back swing."

1:24:40 Yeah. I heard you were out in front of the whole group. You didn't want to play best bowl.

1:24:44 No. I didn't even know what we were doing first. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then I figured it out.

1:24:47 First he was just going his own way. Yeah. And everyone was following me. They're like, "Don't do that." I said, "Why are you just

1:24:54 And I didn't understand the rules." Yeah. But we got it. There you go. We're doing another There's another event your sister's got coming up.

1:25:01 I don't even know. Okay. We'll do one. Yeah, we're doing I'll get you out there.

1:25:04 I'm going to be there. If you get if you get bumped. You know what the problem is? I can't go to war with you.

1:25:12 Yeah, you can. No, I can't. You have You have You have the ultimate weapon, which is you can make me feel very bad.

1:25:18 No, I can't. Yeah, you can. You make me feel sad. Not in the moment. When you get hurt, I feel sad.

1:25:23 So, I had to get physically hurt. No, not physically. Just emotionally. You've never been physically hurt.

1:25:28 But why? I was very gentle with your penis. you. That's I completely agree with you.

1:25:34 I'll never ball tap you. I We've all always said that nobody is better at Nobody's better at handling a dick and nuts.

1:25:42 I got a whole book on it. I got a book on it. You got a book on it? He comes first.

1:25:50 So that is his followup. He comes next. He comes next. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a real followup.

1:25:56 It's a real followup. Urin is not worth the I got to take I'm going to I got to take a look at this author.

1:26:01 No, cuz that's all about like how to please guys. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. What I thought it was.

1:26:07 I'm going to write He Comes Fast co-author. No, you he wrote the book by himself

1:26:12 apparently. I mean, easy. That'd be such an easy book to write. I could write a [ __ ] tome.

1:26:17 Yeah. On what I'd like. Yep. Makes a lot of sense. What's the cover art? I'm not going to name the author.

1:26:31 It was a Jewish author. You guys hate Jewish sex, dude. It's crazy. Stay out of the Jewish bedroom.

1:26:36 Jewish bedroom is intense, dude. That's what the butt plug rabbi says. Stay out of the Jewish bedroom.

1:26:44 Pierce, you're obsessed with the Jewish bedroom. Click the old early life on the Wikipedia. Where is he from? Brooklyn.

1:26:53 He's also Jewish. Thank you, Wikipedia. They don't do that to any other religion. They rarely do that to any religion. In the early life on any like famous person, if you click it,

1:27:03 if they're Jewish, it's immediate like Yeah. almost like runs. His grandparents were one quarter Jew.

1:27:12 Do Yeah. It's the [ __ ] Gustapo on that thing. It's really weird. Crazy. The ADL [ __ ] I think they do [ __ ] on Wikipedia. Like they s scour that [ __ ]

1:27:22 and they're adding. Yes, they're getting numbers. I mean, anyone who rules like he was Jewish.

1:27:30 Hey, he's claiming D. Hold on. Do you have a Wikipedia? No. Yes, you do. You have to have a Wikipedia.

1:27:36 You don't even know. Yeah. You I mean, you don't put your own Wikipedia up. You should.

1:27:41 Yeah, you should. Really? I don't know if you can edit them anymore though. I don't know.

1:27:45 You don't have Oh, whatever this [ __ ] thing is. What is that? Personal life is the condition is aggravated by uh

1:27:56 I don't want to be here for googling me. What the [ __ ] is Wiki Tia? No clue. I mean it's probably something to steal your data.

1:28:06 Got me. No, you don't have a Wikipedia. Damn. Yeah, get one, Gerbin. Early life.

1:28:11 You're going to get one after this. F Jewish. Early life. Nothing else. Early life Jewish.

1:28:20 So true though. Everything I've never seen funny. It's rare. You should start editing them in the early life. Just put Yes.

1:28:27 Yes. Turns out Yes. changed his name when he was 15. Gerby's You're wild, man. You got to see him tomorrow.

1:28:38 I can't wait. It's He's He's balling out this season. I can't wait. It's so much fun.

1:28:44 It is fun. I I kind of sucked. I kind of sucked to the second half. Sucked the second half. I suck.

1:28:50 What do you mean? They fish. We get a lot of a lot of scenes after lunch, dude. And it's just

1:28:55 That's tough. What you eat for lunch? Cobb salad. Yeah, he's had salad. That's light. Yeah.

1:29:00 Something light. It's just We're getting tired. You get tired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:29:05 Yeah. Everyone's tired. Second half. No, it's exhausting. Then we have catering ladies bring around. It's [ __ ] insane, dude. They bring a tray of [ __ ] Wendy's burgers yesterday.

1:29:14 Son of a baker. Just like an hour after lunch just like we got eat cheeseburgers.

1:29:18 Remember last time they brought a giant thing of soup and just gave everyone like a thick cream delicious soup. It was nuts.

1:29:23 You should let me get doge that [ __ ] Cut all that out. Save as much money as possible.

1:29:28 True. Get people hungry. Taquitos from 7-Eleven. 15. If you want them, take them.

1:29:34 They're so good, bro. Yeah, they are. I haven't I haven't gotten them in long time.

1:29:39 15 years. But every single time I'm at the register about to buy some Z, I go, "You and me used to have something. There she is."

1:29:48 That was always blackout clues. I'd wake up and go every single time. This 7-Eleven in Westchester, I'd go in there. I would get like a dozen 7-Eleven wings.

1:29:57 Threw up every single time. Crazy. Uh, all right. Well, that's a good one. We got an hour and a half.

1:30:06 Cam. The cam stayed. Yeah. Hopefully that works. Sorry, Bill. Thank you very much, man. I'm sorry.

1:30:12 Nothing to be sorry about. See, this is their defense against me for real. You hurt my feelings. You can't hurt.

1:30:16 And then I genuinely feel bad. You feel bad. Yeah, I feel bad for you, dude. I didn't mean to make fun of you like that.

1:30:22 Li King stories already know. It's already got to watch. Li King went to Waterburg with his family and got a crazy meal.

1:30:29 Look it up. Look up Li. Don't touch my [ __ ] phone. Look up Libert. It's [ __ ] amazing.

1:30:34 I will. He teaches his kid how to see it. Ah. Oh, you should go on Rogan, dude.

1:30:43 Yeah, I should [ __ ] kill that right away, dude. Did you see Li King went to Waterburger with his Bailey and got a crazy [ __ ] meal?

1:30:50 I was just trying to get things going. You're talking about the whole time. He was talking about spot the whole time.

1:31:00 If uh if the liver kid comes after you, then I'm around. Oh, yeah. the [ __ ] out of the [ __ ] out of him.

1:31:09 I walking like this, dude. Li tighter than a crab's ass. You see him [ __ ] running around? He's got no move,

1:31:15 bro. He's going to get I'll all fours behind him and then push and then jump on top of him.

1:31:24 You think you're going to sneak up on the king? I dude, you best not miss. Yeah, that that would be the problem he's missing.

1:31:32 You think you're going to yank on his beard? You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't pull on Libert King's beard, dude. I can tell you that.

1:31:39 You'll be easy as [ __ ] You think you're going to [ __ ] hit him with like three stages.

1:31:43 He kicked his dog the [ __ ] out of his dog. Everybody got pissed at him. He went to caravan to Austin. They got arrested.

1:31:51 I'll call [ __ ] cops while Liverpour seasons. Yeah. Can you imagine if you open your doors? I was like, [ __ ] Oh man, that is

1:32:05 I have I want nothing but peace with the Liver King. For real. True. We got Unite the King.

1:32:08 I'm just for the record, dude. War mode versus Liver King is nice. Bud's not going to agree with you.

1:32:14 What? Spud's not going to be happy you signed him up for this. He's got a family, dude.

1:32:17 3.0. Good and true. He's sitting there. He's still lying. His [ __ ] was [ __ ]

1:32:24 This is 100% gonna get to him. I don't [ __ ] care, dude. If I were you, I'd be so nervous.

1:32:30 I'm not nervous for him. I'd pray for him. I pray for him. True. He's going through it. He's going through a tough time.

1:32:38 True. Scared. Go to church. I'm genuinely scared. Yes. Brian Johnson wants to do that. Not the live forever Brian Johnson. The other Brian Johnson. That's the guy to be the guy to be afraid of is the [ __ ] Brian Johnson who lives forever.

1:32:53 Guy's trying to be like [ __ ] 200. Oh, that [ __ ] guy. Translucent. True. That guy is scared. He's just transing into Gerbin. There's a guy out there that want he's 60 into you. He's becoming a Jewish man.

1:33:07 Is that right? No. Did he see the 23 of me or is that fake? No. What? Someone swabbed their bearded dragon. 23 of me.

1:33:15 No. Send it in. It came back Ashkenazi Jew. Oh my goodness. Dude, that's not true.

1:33:23 Look it up. It's like the bearded dragons early life on Wikipedia. Jewish Brian Johnson is just trying to become a reptile.

1:33:35 Where'd you see that? Look it up. I don't [ __ ] know. Nothing. 23 million beers after Liver King meal just me.

1:33:45 If that's I just looked at I was like, "God, that'd be funny as [ __ ] if we got to fact check that." Fact check me. I don't care. I mean, it's funny.

1:33:51 Is it true? It's just exposing total fraud, dude. It has nothing to do with the actual result. But the actual result was Ashkanazi Jew.

1:33:58 51% Ashkanazi. Jesus. Dragon says Bat Lizard is 48% West Asian and 51% Ashkenazi Jew.

1:34:07 Dude, could have been any ethnicity. It came back that even if it's fraud, that's still funny.

1:34:12 It's funny as hell. Obviously, it's hilarious. It's so [ __ ] funny. Brian Johnson is just going to eventually start eating bugs and sitting under a lamp. Try to over topple regimes.

1:34:27 Hey, hey, that's all we got. Hey, like a bus driver. It's a [ __ ] Get off. Hey,

1:34:38 you got to sit up front now. I had to sit up front for half a year. I believe it, dude.

1:34:43 I was crawling under the seats in the bus. I believe that getting dirty as [ __ ] first thing in the morning. Do you ever do that?

1:34:48 Yeah, I'd crawl under there. It is nice. I didn't mind that. You get to the wheel well and then you go, "Oh,

1:34:53 stop." You just were under seat bus. I clocked a full year in front of the bus.

1:34:58 Soon as I walked on, bus driver looked at me and my cousin was like, "Up here. Matt and Pat, get to the front."

1:35:04 Yeah, you had the vibe. We had the vibe. We had sit. We used to sit hide behind the seat. As soon as she looked up in the mirror, we would duck down

1:35:12 and she was like, "Enough. Just you're up here the whole I don't know what you're doing."

1:35:16 How about under the bleachers at a high school game? You ever get under there? No.

1:35:19 It's good stuff down there. Yeah. I think I shipped Tennessee under there one time. It was tight.

1:35:23 That's crazy. That was pretty sick. Yeah, that was good. I would go to my sister's basketball games. I'd run under there.

1:35:29 Oh, yeah. That's fun stuff. That is fun. Reach up, grab someone's ankles. That's good stuff.

1:35:37 All right, we've done enough. We did. We did. We did. Thank you guys. Love you guys.

1:35:41 Yeah. Yeah. I love you. Thank you. I love you. Nothing but love. Miss you, too.

1:35:46 Goodbye, everybody. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)"?

Matt (Guest), Shane (Guest), Steve Gerben (Guest), Billy (Guest).

What is "Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)" about?

The discussion centers around personal fitness journeys, with participants sharing humorous anecdotes and experiences related to their training regimens, body image, and the pressures associated with achieving physical goals. Highlights include a lighthearted exchange about workout achievements, parental feedback on fitness, and the awkwardness often felt in male friendships regarding health and…

What is mentioned in this Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast episode?

14 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Darius Liver, She Comes First, Floyd Mayweather, Brian Johnson, Pennsylvania, Daniel Radcliffe. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)"?

The episode runs 1 h 36 min; the transcript is about 21,899 words in 789 timestamped sections.

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