Transcript

Episode 730: Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!

From Morbid | Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 60 min · 12,923 words · 292 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Episode 730: Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!", an episode of Morbid | Podcast published November 20, 2025 (60 min, about 12,923 words). It mentions 24 people, works and ideas, including New Mexico, Miranda Priestley, Coraline Jones, Dungeons and Dragons, Gemini.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Coraline Jones, Gemini, Miranda Priestley
  2. – 10:00: New Mexico, Capricorn
  3. – 15:00: New Mexico
  4. – 25:00: MacBook Pro
  5. – 30:00: Ramen Noodles
  6. – 35:00: Miranda Priestley
  7. – 40:00: Miranda Priestley, True Blood
  8. – 45:00: Into the Pines, Mr. Ballin, Ryan Li, Sirius
  9. – 50:00: Dungeons and Dragons
  10. – 55:00: Dungeons and Dragons
  11. – 59:39: Oregon

Notable quotes from "Episode 730: Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!"

  • But here we are. Coral Jones and Miranda Priestley, which also I didn't even plan this to be as topical as it is. You originally were going to be somebody else.
    about Miranda Priestley · at
  • And shut the [ __ ] Ash up, Ash. You're a Gemini, so of course it's always about you. How do I know? Because I'm a Gemini too.
    about Gemini · at
  • 30 seconds. Thanks, ADHD. Relatable. My sister introduced me to you with a story from my home state, New Mexico. And now all I want to talk it's all I want to talk about. No, you're all I want to talk about.
    about New Mexico · at
  • That's the Capricorn. Five foot and proud. And if I ever get tired of teaching, currently I'm teaching fifth grade and I'm a CPR instructor. I want to go to school for rotary sciences. All.
    about Capricorn · at
  • I loved it. All right, my next one is Listener Tale. That time that I pissed on a rapist MacBook Pro.
    about MacBook Pro · at
  • Was doing it in college. We were repulsive. We were living off four locos and ramen noodles. We had just left our parents' houses. For the first time in our lives, we were wild animals.
    about Ramen Noodles · at
  • Oh yeah. Anyways, and now we're on to True Blood. You should listen to it.
    about True Blood · at
  • Held our collection of fantasy figures, crystal dragons, carved wood wizards, and various Dungeons and Dragons games equip game equipment. You guys sound awesome.
    about Dungeons and Dragons · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Miranda Priestley — Person · 3 mentions · first at
  • Coraline Jones — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    I don't give a [ __ ] I'm Coraline Jones, [ __ ] I don't Hello. I was going to say nice ceruan hair.
  • Ryan Li — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Holy [ __ ] hopefully I've been watching so many of Ryan Li's Tik Toks lately.
  • Mr. Ballin — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Only two. You and Mr. Ballin. We love Mr. Ballin.
  • Mabel — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • Sirius — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • TLC — Company · 1 mention
  • Wondery — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

Places & events

  • New Mexico — Place · 4 mentions · first at
  • Oregon — Place · 1 mention · first at
    They really do. Follow-up. Recently, I visited that town in Oregon, and out of curiosity, I drove past the house. It was still there. In the front yard was a young couple and their daughter. The couple were about the same.
  • Appalachians — Place · 1 mention
  • NOLA — Place · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

Well, all right. Where are we? Hey, what? Where are we? We're in the pod lab. We're going to record this. That's a legit question. I'm so tired.

You just Why'd you say where are we? Where are we? We're in the pod lab. Put that in somewhere. That's funny. Keep it.

Heyos, I'm Miranda. And I'm Coraline Jones. That was so deeply upsetting. And that's all. Just kidding. It's morbid. It's morbid.

Can you do that again? I don't want you to, but I also want you to. I'm Coraline Jones.

I said it with a good accent the first time. Yeah. The um That's crazy. Yeah. It's going to be like pleathering all over the place. I just realized.

ASMR. Can't believe she's wearing pleather in fall of 2025. Listen, it's raining. Okay,

that's not in my newest It's raining. Not in my newest print here. I don't give a [ __ ] I'm Coraline Jones, [ __ ]

I don't Hello. I was going to say nice ceruan hair. It's blue. It's not just blue. You're not my mom. Okay. I'm your other mother. My or as my youngest would say, the underutter.

The under butter. Uh, hey, we both got really bad sleep scores last night on our aura ring. So, this is going to be good, is it?

It really is. But here we are. Coral Jones and Miranda Priestley, which also I didn't even plan this to be as topical as it is. You originally were going to be somebody else.

Yeah. Which I'm going to be next week and I'm going to pivot to be something even funnier. Y to Elena before we got started here. I said I've never felt more like myself.

I looked over at Ash and I just was like something about this works. Like I think everything about this works.

I just looked over and I was like that's right. Yeah. I feel great right now. As you should.

I don't know that I'd ever get this haircut. I'm not saying it's a bad haircut. It's I

Maybe you will. You don't know. I don't know. Who knows the future feel, you know, cuz you look great.

Thank you. So, thank you. It would be a lot to style this haircut every day. I feel that's how you then you get older and you get it styled.

Oh, yes. Yes. That's your luxury. Oh, God. I can't wait for that luxury. We say all the time we should start doing that

which I would love to do. Well, you know why? Cuz we have to read your listener tales and that's important too

because listener tales are brought to you by Wait, should I do it in Miranda Pre?

Brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you. That's all. That's all.

I love saying that. I used to There was a girl on my softball team and her and I would do that all the time.

That's all. That's all. That's all. I love when you said it's outside. Softball is played outside. Correct.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, for sure. I like when he says um you become an incubus of viral plague. I say that all the time.

Anytime one of my kids get sick, I'm like, you're an incubus of viral plague. I need to rewatch the Devil Worst product. I haven't seen it in forever. Yeah, cuz the new one is being filmed, isn't it?

I think it's done. Oh, it's Yeah, the mini It's not. People say the trailer came out. Sorry, my glove broke and I'm upset about it. Um, it's really like a teaser.

I haven't even seen the teaser. I haven't either. I just heard that it came out.

Maybe it's a lie. It's not. They watched it on Sub and I was listening. It's not.

I heard it on Sup. It's real. Sub said it's real. Okay. Sub said it's real, so it's real.

And we believe Carrie and Laura. Yeah, we do. We do. I need to Hold on. Thank you.

You're welcome. That's all. All right. So, should I start? Yeah. Let's start. Start

with a listener tail. How about that? I think that's the best way to start. So, this one's called The Chained Man. And shut the [ __ ] Ash up, Ash. You're a Gemini, so of course it's always about you. How do I know? Because I'm a Gemini too.

I was offended when I first started reading this. I was like, "Wow, is this hate mail?" And then I was like, "Oh, you too." Okay. Imagine if it was just like the chain man. And shut the [ __ ] up Ash.

Yeah, I'd fight you. Yeah. Oh my god. Thank you. I would. Alina would fight you.

I would. You guys think that? Well, not you guys, but some people think that Elena's mean to me, but if anybody's actually mean to me, she'll pummel them.

Yeah, I'll kill you. Helga [ __ ] That would be such a good listener tales costume. Helga [ __ ]

Oh my god. Yeah. Store that in my vault. In the vault. Yep. In the vault. Go listen to the rewatcher.

All right. Please listen to it. It's unhinged and hilarious. Sorry. Ew. On me. You're an incubus of a plague.

I am an incubus of viral plague. Let me start with yes, use my name. I will have a literal heart attack when, not if, I hear it on the pod. Good thing both my kiddo and husband know CPR. Like we said, no sleep scores. Hello. It says that. It says haha. That's true. It's actually lower case though. I took it as that. Like girl, what? That's how I read it. And get your butts ready because here's the smoke. That's what it says. That's how I'm reading it. Thank you for making my Is it because you're dressed like a little kid that you're like absolutely [ __ ] unid

YOU'RE JUST LIKE LOL. IT'S PAST MY BEDTIME. It is past my bedtime. I need a nap.

In the afternoon. It is past my bedtime right now. I got a bad sleep score. It says, "Thank you in all capital letters." You're welcome, okay?

For making my hourlong commute way more enjoyable, but I have to not listen to the episodes I really want to listen to because my 13-year-old is in the car with me. I love your podcast so much, and that's coming from someone who has been anti- podcast for years. Anti- podcast?

Well, for my in due to my inability to maintain focus on anything longer than 30 seconds. Thanks, ADHD. Relatable. My sister introduced me to you with a story from my home state, New Mexico. And now all I want to talk it's all I want to talk about. No, you're all I want to talk about.

Don't even edit any of this out. Just leave this crazy [ __ ] Leave it all in. Leave it. Leave it in.

Um Mikey just turned around and literally went Did I do something bad? No, you didn't. She's just [ __ ] crazy. I'm a feral child here.

That in that was adorable. Something bad. Anti-podcast introduc New Mexico and now you're all I want to talk about. I can't because I work with kids, but you're all my husband hears about now. And based on the few stories that read from New Mexico, yes, we have a ton of flesh pedestrians, chupacabbras, both of which I've seen, and tons of ghosts. We are super haunted state. Come visit. Just don't whistle. I won't.

Yeah. Do you know about that? Isn't that in the Appalachins, too? Yeah, I think that's everywhere.

I just think whistling is [ __ ] up. I hate whistling, you know? I'm not somebody who really whistles. Drew loves to whistle.

I love to whistle, actually. I don't like whistling. I had a boss that had a whistle. It was like It sounds really awful, but it was like necessary. If like we were in another if I was in another part of a salon, he had to whistle to get my attention. But now when I whistle, I'm like, "What?"

Like when I hear a whistle. I love to whistle, but I won't do it in the Appalachins or in New Mexico.

Do you know I don't even know if I've ever heard you whistle. No, I'm not calling you out saying you don't whistle.

That was a good whistle. I can do an out whistle or an in whistle. Oh, see I can only do an in whistle.

But out way better. My in is the only one that works. That's the only one I got. That's all I got. I got one whistle. whistle and that's it.

Um, Ash, Geminis are always the center of attention, so shoulder shrug. Heck and shame. Oh well, for everyone else, we're the coolest.

Yeah, we [ __ ] are. That's right. Whatever. Alina, I'm also very short. Good job. Five foot and proud.

Good job. That's the Capricorn. Five foot and proud. And if I ever get tired of teaching, currently I'm teaching fifth grade and I'm a CPR instructor. I want to go to school for rotary sciences. All right, you're pretty [ __ ] cool. See? All right. You're pretty [ __ ] cool.

That's a win for both. Anyways, I've included a 14point double space pod, a picture of my sons on Halloween, and a picture of my family when I was a baby. I want to start by saying that my mom was the most beautiful and kind person you could meet. She made and kept friends wherever she went. It's been almost 20 years since she passed, and her photo is still hanging up in the office she worked at. Her best friend basically acts as my mom now, and she's also supportive and amazing. But she isn't going to be part of this story.

Will she be part of the next one? Maybe. My mom was special. And I don't mean that as in she's my mommy, so of course she is special. But she had an electric quality to her. She had this radiating energy that people felt. She drew people towards her.

Touch. He said, you know what he said before we began recording? It was actually so weird.

I got up and went to look at the thing and as I turned around, he said, "Younger."

And like Alina looks younger. In case you didn't get that. Wow. It was crazy. It was weird. Imagine if he was like, "Old [ __ ] to me."

Old [ __ ] I love it. Which was extra funny because she rebuilt computers for low on income kids in her free time. This was the late '9s, so no need to worry much about the internet. I knew exactly what that was.

Oh my god. And that shows our age difference because this is that's literally the reason I made you read this. What's the bading bing? It would do this like before.

I know what you're talking about. Now, when I first read this, I was like, I don't know what that means, but I know Elena will. So, that's why I forced you to read the

I knew immediately. See, we we are one. We are one. Um, also, I don't Wait, I don't know your name.

Oh, yeah. Probably says at the end. Hold on. It's our new system cuz we're like putting these on the TV so we can read them.

We're figuring it out. Oh, wait. Rose. Such a pretty name. Rose. But that's a beautiful name. Rose, I freaking love you.

Technically down, I guess. I freaking love you. Another important fact about her electric quality was that anytime she left the house after dark, the street lights would turn off when she drove under them and then turn back on once she had passed. She was interdimensional.

[ __ ] yeah, she was. And while it may seem random, my mom's favorite jeans had a strip of piano key fabric down the side of one leg. We have no pictures of my mom in these pants. Remember this?

I'm interested. You've hooked me. You got me with the piano pants. I got to tell you,

you [ __ ] me with those piano pants and the street lights. Yeah, the street light. I mean, yeah. And the interdimensional.

And the interdimensional. You just really got me. You got me. You got me, Rose.

Yeah. Uh, she was also followed by number 23, to be specific. She was born on the 23rd, died on the 23rd, had two 10 and three ones in her wallet when she died. Her social added up to 23, and she found some mathematical equation to make her name Bellan add up to 23.

Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. That's also a cool name. Yeah. I will try to make it short, but I know you won't care. We don't. Uh, this starts when my mom was a kid, so I don't remember every detail I was told, but I remember enough to still get the chills when I think about it. I almost burned. I'm sorry, everybody.

My mom, my mom grew up in a very haunted house in downtown Santa Fe, New Mexico. We found out that the woman who had originally owned the home murdered her two children and hung their bodies on the porch.

Yeah. before killing herself after she had learned her husband had died in war.

That's like hella tragic. That's [ __ ] up. It's really [ __ ] up. The little boy was killed in the bathtub and would frequently climb out of the

horse. Like war horse. Yeah, sure. Horses. War. You guys just get each other. Yeah, we do. Me and Nicholas forever. Um he would frequently climb out of the bathtub to flush the toilet

like in the afterlife. Yeah. and would playfully chase my uncle around the house and then hide from him. My uncle is 12 years younger than my mom and did not realize this boy was a ghost until he was much older.

Oh, that's so [ __ ] spooky. Oh, we don't know exactly where the girl was killed, but my mom slept in her room for years. My mom would have a dream of a man chained in her closet. Ew. My mom would wake up in her dream to his moans and she would get out of bed, feed him, bathe him, and keep him company until morning when it was time to really wake up. Huh? That's something. Where you looking?

Anywhere but there. Anywhere. Anywhere but there. What the [ __ ] That's wild. Okay. My mom never told me if she asked why he was chained up. I mean, that's valid. Uh, but she didn't need to know.

He never really felt threatened by him. I'm gonna be honest with you. My first question to him would be, "How'd you find yourself in this predicament, sir?"

Yeah, that's You got to ask the hard-hitting questions. You got to those are important questions. U, she didn't feel threatened, though. She said during these years, she was exhausted and felt like she was actually awake during these dreams. After years of caring for him, he asked my mom if she could unlock the chains because he had earned her trust. She did.

No. In turn, he locked her in the chains. [ __ ] And until she had moved out of the house, she would wake up in her dream to the sound of her own moans and chained in the closet.

So she would wake up chained in the closet, kind of not. and also in her bed hearing herself in the closet.

I hate that. Here's the thing. If you wake up to a man chained in your closet moaning,

call the police. First, first ask him, "Sir, how did you find yourself in this predicament?"

Well, that's actually secondly, after you call the police. This feels like a pickle, sir. How'd you get into it?

Yeah. And then then go from there, you know, go from there. after you know um you call the

call the author. Every time I had to go to this home I couldn't sleep. I [ __ ] wonder why. Thankfully my grandma sold it long before I stopped talking to her for offering me $500 to get an abortion. That's [ __ ] up. Damn. I am not anti-abortion, but I am anti- let me tell you what to do, which is all my grandmother does.

Tell your grandma to fuff. It's true. Anywh who, weird things for my mom didn't end didn't end there. She had seen numerous ghosts throughout her lifetime, but the chain man still gives me chills. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in sixth grade. That's awful. I'm sorry.

Went into remission and then diagnosed with bone cancer on my first day of freshman year in August of 2003,

which also 2003. Yeah. Two and three. She had to stop working and became miserable even though she hid it from my sisters and I as best she could. her sister decided to take her to Hawaii for two weeks in November 2003 because my mom was born there but had not been back since she was two.

Literally exact same. You're like girly. Uh when they were on their way back with a pit stop in LA because that's where my aunt lived. Um I wonder if that's LA or Louisiana.

I don't know. I don't know. Probably LA because that's on the way back from Oh, true.

My mom took a fall on the plane and had to be rushed to the ER. They found that the cancer had spread to her brain. My grandmother flew me out to LA to say goodbye. Her grandmother. That's so sad.

That's so sad. During the time I was there, my mom slowly became less and less aware as her body deteriorated and shut down. During this time, she said she could see a gold light coming from the other side of the wall. She felt its warmth and she wanted to get closer to the person the light was radiated from. She also kept talking to the empty chairs. She would say things to them as if she could see all her children as babies sitting there bathing in the gold light and waiting for her to make her journey to the other side.

I have such like ch like a not even chills like the walm. Yeah. Isn't it crazy? Like do you you follow those like nurses on uh Tik Tok like hospice nurses and they all say the same things like there's such a progression of when somebody's dying and like everybody like across the board talks to things that you can't see that aren't there

but it's like they're clearly having actual conversations and it's like across the board.

Yeah. And a lot of times it's like people who have died. Oh yeah. It's weird. There's something there's something.

The very last time she was lucid, she looked at me and said, "I love you, sweetie." She passed away a few hours later. I was 14.

That's also, first of all, I'm so sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. And that's also the crazy part of when people pass is they'll go into these moments where like

lucid completely. They're completely lucid after just being somewhere else entirely.

No, that's so true. It's so crazy. When I was 16, I had one of my best friends, Extina Reed, Christina, spend the night. We had decided to invite another one of our friends because she was a little depressed and we wanted to be there for her. Let's call her Luna. A

that's a cool name. I like that name. We were hanging out in my room listening to music, eating snacks, and giggling over boys.

Oh, those were the days. Luna got the sudden urge to go out to the kitchen and get some water. She said it had to be in a glass and it had to be from the fridge.

We love a girl who knows what she wants. Hydration is important. When she came back and she didn't have water and her face was white, she said, "There's a woman in the living room who wanted to see me." I'd be like, "Uh, what?" I'd be like, "That's a no for me." Yeah. We walked out there cautiously because the only other person home was my dad and he had been asleep for hours at this point. We walked into the empty living room and Luna then realizes that she is looking at the ghost of my mother. She said her long brown hair was resting on the chair she was sitting in and her jeans had piano keys on them because remember there was no picture with the piano key jeans.

Yeah. So that was such a specific detail. I immediately started crying as Luna repeats the words, "I have held dear and close to my heart. I love you, sweetie. She then says, "Look for the number."

Oh, [ __ ] Luna becomes quiet as I He's hiding. He just said, "It's really not nice to ruin a sentimental moment."

That's wild. That's wild. A little reckless. That was wild. A little reckless, in fact.

Wow. Um, but question, who's hiding, Nicholas? He said that last time, too. I think something of similar.

Yeah, you're right. He did. Yeah. Who is it? I have Paulo Santo this room so many times.

We're going to do it again. Yeah. Luna becomes quiet as I softly sobb. It was probably actually a loud, ugly cry. After a few minutes, Luna then looks around and asks why we're in the living room. We tell her everything that happened, and she has no memory of any of it.

That's [ __ ] She doesn't even remember wanting water in a glass from the fridge, the only thing my mother ever drank.

Oh, [ __ ] Wow. A few years passed and now I am 19 and pregnant. On my drive over to tell my father the news, every single car that passed me had a 23 on their license plate. My goosebumps will not go away

now. Every time I have big news, passing my GED test, getting divorced from my very first my first son's dad, getting married to my current husband, getting pregnant again, graduating college, becoming a teacher. Uh, what about us?

I know. Okay. Accomplishments, mama. I see 23 constantly. This has also happened when I have had big bad news. My father died of liver failure in 2015. When we got his ashes back, his ashes tag was 5873. 5 + 8 + 7 + 3 is 23. Is this my mother telling me that she's there and still supporting me from the afterlife? Yes, it is.

The morning after my father died, a friend of mine called me crying. She said she had a dream of two women carrying my father's soul away. Oh, I got to chill. She described my mother and my paternal grandmother perfectly, even though she had never seen a picture of either of them. If I'm driving and feeling nervous because it's a big DUI party night or something just feels off, street lights will turn off. The night the night that street lights don't turn off, I will not cannot keep driving. And numerous times there have been near fatal or near fatal accidents near a route I would have been driving.

That's crazy. I have numerous small stories like this and thank my mother every single time. My kids have both giggled uncontrollably at her photos like they play with her often and know she is with a was a big goofball and only wanted people to be happy. A

I guess I will end this now by saying keep it weird but not so weird that you're a creepy ghost man in chains in a young girl's closet. Earn her trust and then lock her in the chains when she frees you. But also do keep it so weird that you send your children signs as a ghost and make your grandbabies laugh uncontrollably even though you never got to meet them. A

Rose, that's a crazy and beautiful story right? That was It was unbelievable. That was terrifying and really beautiful

and touching. Yeah, I loved it. That hit like every damn everyone. That hit every bone in my bod all of my body that is just made of bones.

I loved it. All right, my next one is Listener Tale. That time that I pissed on a rapist MacBook Pro.

I'm in. I'm obsessed. I'm in. Good afternoon, spooky sisters. Good afternoon. Literally perfect because it is afternoon.

It is. Please find my double spaced 14point pudder attached. I adore y'all and hope you enjoy this tail. Please pick me Dubdub.

She did. She did. Hello my lovely witches. My name is Sam and my pronouns are she, her, and hers. Thank you.

Sam. Hello Sam. You can use my name because there are a billion Sams out there. You can use the other names in this story because one of them also has a super common name like mine. I actually married someone with the same name as his. Haha. I am a longtime listener. Maybe like three years. I don't know. But I was with y'all underwater if you know what I mean. Hell yeah. That's a That's a true blue.

Yeah. Uh I'm writing from Elena's favorite place in the world. Nola. Nola. We love to hear it.

Here comes the gushy mushy love. I truly adore y'all. Elena, I read your book in like two days.

Oh, thank you. It was so incredible. The twist. The twist. I was mind blown emoji. I love it.

Same. That's a great [ __ ] twist. Uh, I'm just really proud of you and so happy you get you get to influence so many people with your badassery.

Oh, thank you. So sweet. That was really nice. Ash, congrats on your engagement. I got That's so funny because it's actually almost my 2-year anniversary. It's like a couple days away. Um, I got married a little over a year ago now, and my best piece of advice is to try to not be super stressed out all day. Once the actual day comes, there will very likely be things that didn't go as planned. It's hard when you spent so much time and money, to be honest, but there's literally nothing you can do about it. So go get your mans and know that everything works out how it's meant to.

That was really nice. That was so nice. And you know what it did? Like there was like very minimal things that went wrong, but when they did matters,

I was like, I just want to marry Drew. Yeah, that was your best advice that you gave me too.

For example, it literally rained on all my guests as they waited for me to walk down the aisle. And of course, the rain stopped just for me.

Oh, hell yeah. I felt bad for my guests, but like I can't control the weather. Sorry, guys. Anyway, time for my actual tail. It's a bit of a mix. uh kind of funny at the beginning but gets very serious and [ __ ] up at the end. Please do enjoy my double spaced pifa and I hope y'all enjoy it. I'm ready. We're gonna enjoy the [ __ ] out of it. In 2010, I started at the University of Georgia, present college football national champions. Woo! Sorry I had to.

I don't know what that means, but you guys go. I joined a sorority. I love it. So,

you spelled it like that, like with the uppercase, lowercase letters, which was pretty common in big southern schools back then. From a quick Google search, about 29% of the students at UG join. That's crazy. Anywh who, I got invited to go to a frat party with one of my best friends from high school, Billy. Billy has also come out since college, which seems like an unnecessary fact, but plays into the story because I definitely felt super safe with him and we were not sexually attracted to each other. Was platonic.

I love it. So, I go to the party. I drink a ton. We go back to Billy's dorm. Did you say I'm from here?

I'm from here. Like you're from like Massachusetts. Please confirm. Yeah, let us know.

They're here. Who's here? Tell us who's here. Please. Hello. Let us know who's here.

So, I go to the party, drink a ton, and we go back to Billy's dorm at some point in the middle of the night. Okay. So, why didn't I go back to my own dorm? I don't know. Definitely wasn't trying to [ __ ] Billy, but I guess I just didn't want the night to end. Definitely wasn't trying to [ __ ] Billy. I love it for sure. And then, who knows? Not me. Probably because I was so [ __ ] up that Billy wanted to make sure I was safe and he wasn't allowed to go in my dorm. Okay.

A Billy's a good guy. He is a good guy. Now, I need to go back up. Now, I need to back up a bit and give y'all a little info on my dorm room. I chose my dorm because it was one of the only dorm buildings that had their own sinks. All of the dorms on campus had community bathrooms, but only two or three of the super small dorms had their own sinks, which was one of mine. The other huge dorms didn't have sinks, but they were cooler for some reason. I don't know. So, I stayed with my friends in the cool in the cool dorms fairly often. But when I did stay in my own dorm, and I had to go pee in the middle of the night because I drank like a fish pretty much every [ __ ] day of college, I used to pee in my own sink.

Vomit emoji times a thousand. It's very shameful to admit this as a grown woman, but I promise you everyone was doing it in college.

I hope. He said, "I hope." He said, "I hope you have shame." I hope you're ashamed. How dare you.

Oh, Nicholas, I promise you, everyone was doing it in college. We were repulsive. We were living off four locos and ramen noodles. We had just left our parents' houses. For the first time in our lives, we were wild animals.

Holy [ __ ] You can judge me. Hell, I'm judging me. Also, yeah, I had a roommate. She hated me. I would have hated me, too. Sorry, Kay. And yes, this is the same sink that we brushed our teeth in. I know. She goes, "I know. I know. I know. I'm trash."

Okay, so now that that's over, I can get on with my story. I woke up in the middle of the night in Billy's dorm and I really had to pee. I'm half asleep and I'm still wasted as [ __ ] So, I go to Billy's roommate's desk where his open laptop was sitting, and I and I stand up on his desk chair, turn around, pull down my pants, squat, and piss all over his roommate's open laptop. Then she goes, she goes, "Yep, I did that. Yep, I did that. How do I know I did? How do I know I did that?" Well, honestly, I don't I don't remember it at all. I woke up the next morning to Billy's roommate, whose name is Butch, shouting that one of us had spilled a drink all over his laptop in some form.

Yeah, maybe. Butch immediately started, or no, sorry, Billy immediately started apologizing, and so did I. We told him we would pay for it. I changed into some of Billy's sweats. Shacker clothes were like a badge of honor back in the day. So weird. I'm obsessed. College is such a wild time. It is.

And we left to go to the dining hall for breakfast. The second we closed the door, Billy goes, "Sam, you peed on his laptop last night." I was like, "What the [ __ ] No, I didn't." And he was like, "Dude, I saw you in the middle of the night. Go pee on it." And I was like, "What the fuck?" At this point, I had known Billy for a long ass time, and I knew he wasn't lying. And I realized that that laptop, unfortunately, was located in the same spot as my sink was located in my dorm.

I love that he's just like, "Girl, I saw you be on that laptop." What a [ __ ] solid ass friend though because he was like, "Damn, sorry that we spilled a drink on that like our door closes." He's like, "Yo, I saw you piss on that laptop."

He's like, "Hey [ __ ] what were you doing?" Okay, so I need to figure out Okay, so now I need to figure out how to pay for this piss computer as a broke college computer

who can't tell her single mom that she was blackout drunk and pissed on a $2,000 computer. So, I tell Butch that I'm sorry I spilled a drink on his computer and I was going to have to try to find random jobs to pay him back for it.

We just be like, "I didn't do it." Yeah. I'd be like, "I don't know what you're talking about. That's your [ __ ] laptop and your [ __ ] problem." He agrees and goes and gets a rental laptop. Well, let's just say waiting tables at the local watering hole with super creepy old men wasn't making that $2,000 happen very quickly. Yeah, honestly, I had only saved up a few hundred before I get a call from the dean of something important as [ __ ] from UG telling me if I didn't pay this guy back in some super short ass amount of time that he would be pressing charges that may lead to my expulsion.

Oh, what a piece of [ __ ] It's also like for spilling a drink, quote unquote. Like, [ __ ]

Sure, you pissed on the laptop, but he didn't know that. He didn't know that. Although, maybe he figured it out and then that's when he was like, I'm going to press charges.

Yeah. What the [ __ ] Turns out that Butch's dad was some super entitled [ __ ] who literally thinks that he can do anything to anyone. So, I cried a ton and I called my mom and I had to tell her everything. She lended me $2,000 and I try to give it to Butch. And then this [ __ ] has the audacity to tell me I also have to pay for his rental laptop.

Oh, [ __ ] that. Yeah, [ __ ] that. A whole a whole bunch. Okay, y'all. I know that's fair, but it was No, it's not. It was super super hard for my mom to even find $2,000. And I knew that Butch's family was rich as [ __ ] so it just felt icky.

It is icky. It is. [ __ ] them. I called my mom back. I got another $800 or something for the rental laptop. And I finally paid back Butch for the water damage.

Water damage. Hey, maybe you were really hydrated. It was probably a lot of water. Well, actually, you weren't. Never mind. I go on with my life. I eventually pay my mom back and all is good. About a year later, I move out of the dorms and into the store.

Did you say I'm moving? Why? Well, because you're not because you're from here, but now you're moving.

But you're moving. Where you going? Where are you going? Don't go to Georgia. This This gal might piss on your laptop.

Don't leave me if you have one. Let me know where you're going. You guys really bonded, huh?

We did. It's crazy. All right. So, uh, fast forward, I moved out of the dorms into the sorority house. I get a call from Billy and I was like, "What the [ __ ] We don't call, we text." Calling is like super cringe,

honestly. Yeah, it is. Don't call me. So, I either thought that one of our high school friends had died or something or that Billy was just butt dialing me, but I picked up. Billy, Sam, Butch got arrested for raping a girl. Holy [ __ ] Me. Huh? Billy, check your phone. Me. Opens article to the news story. I'm vomiting. Not actually, but my body was convulsing and my heart was racing. For those who can't see this article, Butch is shown with bloody claw marks all over his face. He attacked a girl and attempted to rape her on a sidewalk at 2:30 a.m. on a Monday.

Oh my god. And then trying to flee the police, dove butt ass naked into a lake to try to get away. What a [ __ ] vile piece of garbage. [ __ ] that guy. He didn't get away. I love that she's wrote he didn't.

Yeah, he didn't. He didn't. By the way, he didn't get away. The part that infuriates me beyond belief is that because his dad is super rich and is has friends with connections or something, Butch only had to go to jail for a few days.

Oh, [ __ ] that. And he was let out on $10,000 bond and all he had to do was ser was serve community service and be on probation. What the [ __ ]

What the [ __ ] Indeed? It still [ __ ] with me that I slept in the same room as this monster. I'm not ignorant to the fact that a broken laptop is nothing compared to what could have happened. To conclude, [ __ ] you, Butch. That wasn't a spilled drink. That was my piss.

Hell yeah. Like, I pissed on your laptop. I pissed on your laptop. [ __ ] that.

I love y'all so much. And I hope y'all keep it weird, but not so weird that you use your sink as a toilet because you're a lazy piece of trash. P.S. Let me know if you want to hear the story about how I saw my first not in a cadaavver lab dead body the night before my wedding.

Of course, I want to hear that. Would you even have to ask? Yeah, come on. PPS. Yes. Here's a cute picture of me and my will during our second line at our wedding in Nola. And of course, a pic of our cute little puppy Kota on our wedding day.

I know. Nicholas was like, "I know. I know. I know your dog. It's been so great.

I loved your wedding. I love your wedding. Holy [ __ ] Sam. That was such a good story, Sam.

I am. Wow. Sometimes the universe on his laptop." Yes. What the [ __ ] You need to tell me what that says.

Shovel. Shovel. The way that you just like like shimmy that. I needed to know what that

was. I love that. You literally said, "I will find out." I said, "I'm going to find out."

I keep that in, please. That was great. Wow, Sam. Yeah, the universe just knew that you should have pissed on that guy's laptop. I can't believe you pissed in your sink, girl. But,

you know, we've all done some gross [ __ ] Yeah, I had no idea that pissing in the sink was such a common occurrence. I was a trash human for a really really long time and I never pissed in a sink.

Damn. I pissed outdoors but she really just called you out. Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

She said me. I was a trash human but I never was that trashy but like non- derogatory.

I was very Miranda Priestley. It was like not me. Couldn't be me. I wasn't that trashy.

I wasn't that trashy Sam. Just kidding. We love you Sam. We love you Sam. We [ __ ] love you.

It literally Can you do the slither again? I can't get through. Oh, you took your sweater with you. Oh, I did. It's actually super weird because my weather I don't even know if you can see the I'm telling you a story.

Sweater weather. Okay. Uh I don't know if you can see this on the video. You can leave this in, but I'm really in a place of leaving it in. This just keeps getting lower. I'm trying to talk. I'm sorry that you're sad. You can get through to us. Are you pushing my microphone down though? Cuz as I'm telling stories, it's like going lower and lower. I think

maybe it is Nicholas. You trying to get our attention? Nicholas, what's going on? Nicholas, don't be sad. We got your back homie.

Yeah, we love you, Nicholas. Big love, Nicholas from live. Uh, okay. So, that was amazing, Sam. Uh, and now we have Liser Tale. Hoarders have secrets. Hoarders have secrets. I've never seen that show on TLC.

No, that sounds like a great show. Hoarders have secrets. I would watch that cuz I can't watch the TLC one. It's so sad.

No, it's awful. Yeah, so sad. Yeah. Hi, you two beautiful humans. Also, shout out to Debb. My name is Casey and you can use it.

I like that name. Smiley face. I submitted this list in her tail previously, but was a complete hot mess and ended up not attaching the story. Face pal.

We all do. However, I am proud of actually writing it down and have my mother's blessing to share with the world through your podcast. I love your show and await eagerly for each episode to drop. It's the only thing that gets me through folding laundry. In my head, we are true best friends. You have also introduced me to Buffy. Although the episodes weren't coming out fast enough to keep up with me binging the series. Sorry, not sorry.

Oh, it was so hard for me to not do that. Oh yeah. Anyways, and now we're on to True Blood. You should listen to it.

Anyways, please enjoy the attached double space pipe. Please advise that I've also attached pictures of a real life severed finger and proceed at your own risk in viewing. I appreciate that. I think it's awesome though. I've also attached a picture of my fur baby who just turned one. Love you. Fur baby. Hello. You can use my name, Casey. I can't believe you're actually reading this. I follow you for years and I'm a big fan. Currently planning a tattoo and com and commemoration. I could not say that word of mine and your weirdness. I love that.

Hell yeah. Let's see it. I haven't written any Let's see it. Let's see your tattoo, Casey.

We want to see the commemoration. I want to see it. Stop. Commemorate and show us.

You are getting a tattoo. No, I had it. But it was finished. You know, I had a bad sleep score. I had a bad sleep score.

You're being so mean to Everyone thinks that I'm mean. I can be a little mean. She's being very Miranda Priestley today. I I'm channeling the energy.

You worry. You're method acting. I haven't written anything in years as I am a college dropout and is not required at my job. So, please allow some grace in the grammar and run on sentences. Also, this story is still developing as the years roll by. So, this is as it stands now.

Damn. To be honest, I don't think I ever had a listener tale to contribute until my friend gave me a dumb [ __ ] moment and reminded me of this tale. Small disclaimer, the part of my extended family in this story is in no way a reflection of my immediate family. And my mom has overcome so much mental turbulence from them and her childhood abuse.

A I'm happy that she's overcome it. I'm happy that she experienced it. I'm from a town in Utah where me and my high school sweetheart raised our fur baby. My mom grew up in a more rural town 30 minutes south of where we are now. My grandma and grandpa had becomes had uh become special needs foster parents and eventually adopted eight kids. Damn, that was Yeah, that was into in addition to the original five kids they already had that included my mom. Her childhood was rough for many reasons.

Wait, I'm so sorry. Is that 13 kids? That's a lot of kids. Yeah. Yeah, I just did quick math. Look at me. Whoa. Her childhood was rough for many reasons, including she was the only girl of all boys. And my grandma had an addiction to hoarding. I am talking like TLC series level of hoarding. Let us fast forward to a couple of years ago and my grandma's health was rapidly declining. I'm only going to spare some of the details as I don't want to steal from the true point of this story. But her with her needing a lot of assistance and the condition of the house was in my mom opted to put her in a care facility.

With that her out of the house my grandpa's house health was also not the best. And having four of my special needs uncles in the house he also needed a lot of assistance. That's a lot. That is

my mom's sister and I took on the responsibility of taking dinners down, taking them to appointments, and even started shoveling the garbage out that they had that had overtaken the host.

Oh, that's awful. I got to the point where my poor grandpa couldn't do it on his own anymore. And after my grandma passed away, he went to the assisted living facility as well.

That's like so sad. But I'm also so glad that he got to live in like a clean place at the end of his life.

Exactly. With everyone out of the house, we began work on cleaning out the house to figure out if it was even possible to sell or if it would have to demolish it and sell the land. Let me tell you, it was not for the squeamish.

For years, my mom tried to give us a relationship with my grandparents, and we would often go down to visit, even if we had to stand by the front door because there was nowhere else to go.

Oh, wow. I thought I had built up a tolerance for the smell and dis and disaster. However, there were parts of that house that not even my mom had seen in 30 years. Oh my god.

A lot can get buried in that amount of time. It took 17 dumpsters of garbage to get through the first three rooms, and that is just what my family was able to accomplish. Animal trigger warning. We did find several dead cats and lots of rats.

That always happens on that TLC show, and that's part of why I can't watch it. One room was filled from floor to ceiling with clothes mixed with human feces.

Oh man. Don't mean to overshare and gross you out. just trying to convey the nastiness that was there and the condition in which they were living in.

It's sad. It's a mental illness. It is. We ended up being so overwhelmed emotionally and physically by the job that my mom and her oldest brother made the decision to sell the house as is. Some very talented and determined DIYers bought it and picked up where we left off.

Wow, that's remarkable. I didn't even know you could do that. I didn't know that either. Where does the true crime start in all this, you may ask? Now, here's the part of the story that we're all here for. While we were they were in the middle of renovating to the in the cold storage basement that nobody had accessed in years, they found a freaking severed finger. Pictures are attached if you can handle it.

What? Girl, I can handle it. We know you can. I I just got to see it. We know you can. It was preserved pretty well for my non-bentical opinion in a small glass jar.

Preserved and in a jar. Hello. After taking pictures and reporting it to the police, small town, so likely nothing will come of this. We promptly went to visit my grandpa to see what the hell he knew about this. He told us that he had seen it before, but he didn't know what to do with it. So, he just put it back and didn't say anything to anyone.

Grandpa, I'm tired of this, Grandpa. I'm tired of this, Grandpa. And he said, WELL, THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD.

THAT'S MY SEVERED FINGER. It's not. Wow. That's the problem. It's not his severed finger. He then refused to talk about it any further. What? My grandpa was a more quiet person and was definitely not the dominant personality in my the way you just keep doing it so fast.

Annoying. Annoying. Is it annoying that he was quiet or that he wouldn't he wouldn't tell?

Exactly. Nicholas, be nice to grandpa though. Uh he's not the dominant personality in my grandparents marriage. When we were getting stories for my grandma's funeral, her sister mentioned several times that he would just go along with whatever plan or manipulation she had going at the time.

Yikes. Was he afraid of my grandma? I now found myself asking. Turns out it wasn't the first offcolor thing to happen in that house. Oh man. As I mentioned earlier, my grandparents fostered many special needs kids and adults. Hold on to your butts. One of the little girls went missing shortly after arriving in their custody. Oh, my mom was younger, so she doesn't know if she just ran away or something else happened. In fact, the girl's family would drive by my grandparents house when they were outside on the porch and stare them down.

Oh. The family was convinced that they did something to her, even though there was nothing to suggest foul play. But because it was the 80s, nothing was really done about it to find out either way. Was that the kid's finger? Is it a kid's finger? Actually, it's probably not. More looks more like an adult. I literally was reading along with you, but I didn't even see the next part. I swear.

Was it a kid's finger? The way you just answered. Actually, it's probably not. Looks more like an adult size. But still, someone, apparently me, is the only one asking these things. My mom had to deal with all of this along with the passing of my grandma, which brought up some conflicting feelings from her own childhood trauma of things that I can't even scratch the surface of.

My mom is superwoman strong. A so many questions, some of which are who is missing this finger? Who put said finger in a jar? Why did nobody question the girl's disappearance? Are my grandparents criminals? Yes, I know this isn't the babe. Pause right there, babe. We know a lot of No, no, no. Here's the thing. We don't know a lot of things, but one thing is for sure. Your grandparents are criminals.

And that's the name of this episode. Lizardi Tales, you're grim. STOP COUGHING AT ME. It's so funny. Do you need water? Do you have some? Yeah, I'll go have some water. Are my grandparents criminals? Yes. I know this isn't the most exciting listener tale you have gotten. It's pretty up there,

but I finally had something to contribute. It was also fun to write this down as it became a good party anecdote, which is how it got the name the lone fange.

The lone fange. The lone fange. I like fange better. It's a little French. Thanks for letting me share. You betcha.

Keep it weird, but not so weird that you had a severed finger in your cold storage and not tell anyone about it. Also, don't keep it so weird that your foster kid runs away and nobody cares. And don't keep it so weird that you have a hoarder house that could be full of other possible human body parts. Bye. That was heavy, babe. That was heavy, babe. I look over and you're just like just I'm just lost in thought, lost in the sauce. This is a That's some other mother [ __ ]

That is some other mother [ __ ] That's some other mother [ __ ] That was [ __ ] crazy.

Damn, that's wild again. Your grandparents are criminals. Yeah, your grandparents are criminals. But

holy [ __ ] Uh hopefully I've been watching so many of Ryan Li's Tik Toks lately.

Ryan Li is one of the funniest humans on the planet and also one of the sweetest humans.

All of the above. If you don't follow Ryan Li, get out of here. Ryan Li Washington, follow him on everything.

Follow him. Get his books into the pines. Oh, so good. Our quotes are on them. It's true.

All right. So, listener tale for listener tale. Not all ghosts are evil. Agreed.

I Yeah, right, Nicholas. Hello, weird and wonderful ladies. First of all, thank you for your captivating content. You're welcome.

And for your equally captivating and often hilarious personalities. You are great. Thank you.

I don't listen to a lot of podcasts. Only two. You and Mr. Ballin. We love Mr. Ballin.

Mr. Bin came over to Sirius. Yeah. From Wonder came to the good place. Stumbling across one of your listener tales was what got me hooked. My name is Mark. Feel free to use it and any other names mentioned in this tale. Mark, I am 65 years old and I no longer give a [ __ ] about what people think. Mark, I literally love you, Mark. I turned 65 today and I also don't care what she doesn't give a [ __ ]

That's great. If you're not watching this, that's so confusing for you. It's true. You're Trust me, it makes sense.

Mar, I love you. All right, so okay, on with my tale. I would truly like your point of view as to if the spirits in this tale are evil or if they're trying to be protective. This story is 100% true. I know because it happened to my wife, my son, and myself back in 1975. Hell yeah.

We will call this moved in moved out 2 days later. Okay. In March of 1975, my wife Angela and I were expecting our first born and in expectation of his arrival had just purchased our first home.

Oh, then that's beautiful. Congrats. Retroactively. Yeah. The night before we were too to due to move in, my wife went into labor. Our son came into the world at 3:56 a.m. Amazingly, I remember every detail of that night and the following 2 days as if it was today. Mark, I never gave you permission to make me cry like that.

Seriously, you've never changed. The morning after his birth, I gathered a few friends and moved all our crap over to our new home. This took all day, and I didn't have time to set everything up, so I put a mattress on the floor in the bedroom and set our son's crib next to it. The rest of the stuff was piled against the walls and sliding glass doors, which is important later in the story. Angela and Johnny were released from the hospital that evening, so I locked up the house and went to pick them up, then stopped for dinner with our friends, Scott and Debbie. After dinner, the four of us returned to the new house. When we went to go in, I noticed the front door was unlocked.

I know when I left that I locked all the doors and the windows. I shrugged it off as being the real estate agent, just checking up. Angie put our son to sleep in his crib. Uh, and the four of us adults visited and drank a few brews until around 11:00 p.m. when Scott and Debbie headed home. I locked the front doors, two locks, handle and bolt, and we went to bed. As newborns do, our son woke up at around 2:00 a.m. screaming to be fed. Uh, before I could get up to get him, I felt movement on my wife's side of the bed and heard my son quiet down.

Assuming my wife had handled the situation, I went back to sleep. Uh, well, you know about assuming. It makes an ass out of you and me.

It does. It does. I found out the next day how true that was. I woke up before my wife headed to the kitchen to make coffee. To my pleasant surprise, it was already brewed and waiting. Again, assuming my wife had woken up early and started the coffee and then went back to bed. I poured a cup and turned to go into the living room to sit and drink my coffee. That's when I noticed it. Baby powder. Splotches of baby powder were going from the coffee pot, through the kitchen, out the living room, beyond the sill, locked front door, and into the driveway. Or sorry, the still locked front door and into the driveway.

I checked through the house and all the doors and windows were still locked. It was strange to say the least.

Yeah, but beyond the type of prank that my friends would pull. So, I didn't let it get to me until or sorry, not beyond the type of prank that my friends would pull. So, you're thinking maybe this is your friends. I didn't let it get to me until later that evening. But that that evening, Scott, Debbie, and two other friends all met up for dinner. As we were sitting having a casual conversation as we ate, I asked Scott if he was in the baby in on the baby powder prank. His response was, "Baby powder? What are you talking about?" That told me he was not in on it.

Oh no. I proceeded to tell him about it and he couldn't figure out how it was done either, but it was a few minutes later that sent chills down my spine and made me question my sanity. When my wife thanked me for getting up to care for our son at 2:00 a.m. and for putting him in bed with us, I was stunned, speechless. How do I handle this? Do I tell her that I didn't get up and take care of our son, let alone put him in bed beside her? She would freak out and think that I was lying or [ __ ] with her.

So, I just sat there nodding my head in stunned silence. Honestly, that's probably smart in that situation.

Yeah, cuz she's literally like a brand new in front of people. You're just like

in front of people. Yeah. So, we returned home around 9:00 that night and found nothing out of the ordinary. Doors and window sills were still locked, or sorry, I keep reading sill still. It's my own fault. Doors and windows still locked. Our bed frame and box spring leaned securely against the sliding glass door leading to our carport. So, I didn't worry too much about the strange things that had happened, telling myself that there was a logical explanation for it. It's important at this point to inject the fact that we had earlier that day unpacked a lot of our belongings and had put up shelves and pictures in the living room and the bedroom. One of the shelves I had installed was above Johnny's crib and held an array of bedtime story books and stuffed animals, toys, etc. The installed shelves in the

Did he say pride? Pride. Bright. Bright. Yeah. H I don't know what that means. Nicholas, do you think we have bright energy?

Are you're bright today? For sure. I'm pretty bright. Um, so hold on. I just lost my place. One of the shelves I had installed was above Johnny's crib and hel crib and held an array of bedtime story books and stuffed animals, toys, etc. The installed shelves in the living room held our collection of fantasy figures, crystal dragons, carved wood wizards, and various Dungeons and Dragons games equip game equipment. You guys sound awesome.

Truly. Okay, on to what caused us to move out the next day and put the house back on the market.

I forgot it's like 2 days. I forgot that that was it, too. Angie put our son to bed and her and I snuggled on the couch and watched a movie before going to bed. I slept hard that night. Didn't hear our son wake up for his 2 a.m. feeding or his diaper changes. I woke early about uh 5:00 a.m. and got up to make coffee and surprise my wife with breakfast in bed. Mark,

a good man. I noticed upon getting up that our son was sound asleep, snuggled against his mother. I saw no baby powder this morning. However, the coffee was already brewed and mine and Angie's coffee cups were set beside the coffee maker along with the sugar bowl and the creamer. I chose to ignore this and I just made breakfast. Biscuits and gravy, eggs, ham, and English muffins with butter and jam.

Holy [ __ ] Mark. Angie is a lucky lady. I [ __ ] love biscuits and gravy. Uh, I placed Angie's breakfast on a tray with a cup of coffee, uh, prepared to her taste.

Listen to this. I mean, Mark, a dream. Mark forever. I picked up the tray and I turned to go to the bedroom and almost dropped the tray because on the floor, not more than 3 ft away from me, sat a single red long stem rose in the center of a ring of, you guessed it, baby powder.

Baby powder. What? What the [ __ ] But like this is so nice. It's all so lovely.

It's so nice. Like is this is this ghost making you coffee in the morning? Because like

No, he literally he or she literally is. That's sick. And they also tended to your baby in the night perhaps twice.

This is A+ behavior to be honest. But also, is it being nice to like lure you into a sense of trust?

I know. I don't trust it. Yeah. I don't know. I squatted down and I picked up the rose. Oh, sorry. I skipped a sentence. I know that there was no one else in the house and Angie and Johnny were still sound asleep. So, I squatted down and picked up the rose, placing it on the tray and mumbling a thank you under my breath to whoever provided it.

I love that he's just like, "Bang." He's like, "Yeah, we'll go with this." Yeah. Appreciate it.

I And I love that they were just like, "Here, babe. Add this to the You need this. This This is the piesta resistance."

Yeah, of course. I love that. So, I took the tray into Angie, woke her up with a kiss, and gave her the tray. Being very careful not to wake Johnny, I picked him up and put him back in the crib. I gave Angie a good morning kiss and went to get my breakfast. And as I entered the kitchen, I noticed that the circle of baby powder was gone with no sign of it ever existing. What the [ __ ] That's insane. I picked up my breakfast and joined Angie. We ate and talked about things that newly married couples discussed until we had finished eating and John woke up needing a diaper change. I took the trays and dirty dishes into the kitchen as Angie placed Johnny on the bed to change him.

I put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them. Then I unlocked the front door. That's when I heard Angie's bewildered call for me. I went into the room and I saw Angie holding Johnny tight to her and staring at the crib. I turned my gaze from Angie to the crib and what I witnessed was, as a new parent, terrifying. In the center of the crib, exactly where my son had been moments ago, was stacked all of our books, not just the bedtime stories, but Dungeons and Dragons books as well. Angie and I stared at each other for a moment, and I could see the fear in her eyes. I took Johnny from her and told her to get dressed. I swear that was the quickest I have ever seen any woman get dressed.

Oh my god. Within 10 minutes, we were in the car and headed to Scott and Debbiey's house. What the [ __ ] While Angie stayed inside, uh, Angie and Johnny stayed inside with Debbie, Scott and I returned to the house to get a few needed items and lock up. When we entered the bedroom to grab the diaper bag and bottles, we noticed that the shelves the shelf was torn from the wall and was in the crib as well, and the bottom of it had collapsed and was on the floor. I have goosebumps all down my arms and legs right now. What's so weird is that we were like, "Wow, this is like really nice." And then we were like, I don't trust it though. And then it got so dark.

What the [ __ ] Oh, I don't like this at all. Scott and I just looked at each other, grabbed what we needed, and left quickly, almost forgetting to lock up. If our son had been in the crib, he would have been crushed. I didn't know until later that night, the night before, neither Angie and I had Neither Angie or I had gotten up and put Johnny in bed with us or had gotten him his bottle, which was on the bed when Scott and I had returned.

What the [ __ ] It almost feels like there's like two energies at play here. Like one of them was trying to get him out of the crib. Yeah,

cuz that was not a safe place. Yeah. Damn. What the [ __ ] Yeah. We didn't go back and put the house on the market that same day. Like we didn't go back to the house and we put it on the market that same day. So that's my tail. What do you think? There's no doubt that there was a spirit in that house. But was it potentially harmful or was it a protective spirit? You decide.

I think there was two. I think there was two at least. I think Yeah, I think there was two or I think there was one that was like I said earlier like trying to lure you into a sense of trust and calm and then like [ __ ] with you for a while.

But I think like they're moving the baby. So it's like I don't I think there was two. I think one was trying to cause damage.

Yeah. No, I don't I Yeah. Damn. Okay. So, thank you so much for reading my tale and stay weird, but not so weird that a ghost prepares your coffee for you and then moves your child only to nearly crush him and spreads baby powder all over your house. Looking forward to future podcasts full of your unique outlook and humor. Keep up the great work. A loyal listener and fellow weirdo. Mark, PS, I apologize. Yeah, thank you. I apologize for the long story. Please don't. But sometimes the details make the story.

They really do. Follow-up. Recently, I visited that town in Oregon, and out of curiosity, I drove past the house. It was still there. In the front yard was a young couple and their daughter. The couple were about the same. Higher? I think so. Is he taking it to a place of creed? Nicholas wants us to take him higher. He does. I don't know. The couple were about the same age as my wife and I had been when we purchased this house, and their daughter was about 5 years old. I stopped, introduced myself, and explained that many years ago, I had purchased that house and explained to the couple what we had experienced, and I was curious if they had any similar experiences in the house. The young woman chuckled and said, "You're talking about Mabel." [ __ ] Mabel.

Hello. Tell me about Mabel. I was dumbfounded. She went on to say that Mabel had been a huge help over the 5 years that they lived there. That more than once she kept them safe from everything from a fire in the basement to a break-in. It seems I may have jumped the gun on moving out. Uh Mabel, they had discovered had been a young single mother who was the original owner of the house and had passed away in the late 50s in a car accident. Her newborn child had survived the accident and was raised by her grandparents.

And get ready for it, was in fact the young woman's grandmother. Holy [ __ ] Yep. Her mother's mother was in fact the very spirit that to this day takes care of their family and keeps them safe. I love this. They intend on never moving and will pass the house on to their daughter when she's old enough. And Maple will take care of her. That was the most beautiful place to end that listener tail mark.

Mark, you just gave me full chills. Yeah, that's a beautiful story. So, it was it was just one energy who was like, I don't know, Mark. Maybe it was like a weird little yucky energy that Mabel was trying to get rid of.

Yeah, maybe that's what it was. I was about to tell you you just messed up when you installed the shelves.

Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe that as well. Shelves are are hard. I also when Nicholas Cuz you've talked about a fire that they she saved them from a fire. I wanted to see if he said higher or fire. Go ahead, slow down.

I'll slow down. Imagine if he said fire. It was higher. Higher. Well, you I don't know. Yeah, he took it to a place of greed.

He did. That's okay. Wow, guys. That was a solid ass batch of listener tales. That was a really solid batch of listener tales.

We had the mom turning off the street lights. We had a peeing on a rapist computer.

Hell yeah. We had [ __ ] Mark out here making ghost breakfast. We had chained up men in closets.

Chained up men in closets. Oh, we had severed fingers. I think my that was my trauma of that story just like protecting me.

You were like, forget about that. I was like, I don't remember. No, we had severed fingers.

Yeah, we had severed fingers. Those were great. Yeah, I love them. You guys rock.

You rock out loud. We got Mark. We got Sam. We got Rose. Casey, we got Rose. Boom. You guys rock out loud. We love you and we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it. But it's so weird that you don't send your listener tales in to morbidpodcast@gmail.com. Please make them a pipa and I don't know make a snappy headline.

Keep sending them cuz they're too fun. They're the best. We love this. We never want to run out.

And we'll see you next month with a pretty solid set of costumes. Pretty solid.

And with that solid, we leave you. Goodbye. Heat. Heat.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Episode 730: Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!"?

In order: 0:00 Coraline Jones, Gemini, Miranda Priestley; 5:00 New Mexico, Capricorn; 10:00 New Mexico; 20:00 MacBook Pro; 25:00 Ramen Noodles; 30:00 Miranda Priestley; 35:00 Miranda Priestley, True Blood; 40:00 Into the Pines, Mr. Ballin, Ryan Li, Sirius; 45:00 Dungeons and Dragons; 50:00 Dungeons and Dragons; 55:00 Oregon.

What is mentioned in this Morbid | Podcast episode?

24 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including New Mexico, Miranda Priestley, Coraline Jones, Dungeons and Dragons, Gemini, Capricorn. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Episode 730: Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!"?

The episode runs 60 min; the transcript is about 12,923 words in 292 timestamped sections.

More from Morbid | Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 24, 2025.