Transcript

We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby

From Pretty Funny Business · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 45 min · 8,308 words · 200 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby", an episode of Pretty Funny Business published September 8, 2026 (45 min, about 8,308 words). It mentions 8 people, works and ideas, including Vitamix, MCON, Rockettes, Cleveland, Ohio, Cook Unity.

What this episode is about

Two friends discuss their busy lives, announcing a marketing conference appearance, sharing a discount code for attendees, and candidly recounting parenting moments and the mixed feelings around their kids' activities. The conversation blends industry talk with humorous, relatable personal anecdotes.

Key takeaways

  • Conferences like MCON thrive on real budgets and real pressure; warm buzzwords won’t close deals, execution will.
  • Avoid the bait of endless updates; action beats talk when stakeholders want tangible results, not tick-box progress.
  • Sibling-level chaos at home mirrors product launches: ambitious onboarding, trimmed timelines, and inevitable hiccups discipline the process.
  • The iPad paradox: mass adoption masks underutilization; great for kids, negligible for creator workflows—choose purpose over novelty.
  • Authenticity sells: direct, punchy offers (discount codes, real dates) outperform grandiose promises when audiences crave credibility.

Who speaks in this episode?

  • Lauren (Guest) · 20 min speaking
  • Sydney (Guest) · 25 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: MCON, Cleveland, Ohio, LinkedIn, Substack
  2. – 15:00: Vitamix
  3. – 20:00: LinkedIn
  4. – 44:40: Vitamix, Cook Unity

Notable quotes from "We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby"

  • Floating around before and after our podcast session. And because I like you, we've got a $150 discount off registration. The code is pretty funny, 150, and you can register at mcon.ai.
    about MCON · at
  • We put that in the Patreon for Cam Conrad.
    about Substack · at
  • Cheapest tickets all season. And did you know that at most of the shows they have one of Santa's helpers, but at the morning after Christmas show, Santa just stays and it's the…
    about Rockettes · at
  • We do pre We do pre-made meals. Like we use Cook Unity, which I think is national, but it's like a it's like a factor kind of thing, but it's fresher. It's not as.
    about Cook Unity · at
  • They were using my Vitamix at 4:00 a.m.
    about Vitamix · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Companies & orgs

  • Rockettes — Company · Referenced organization / event performer · 5 mentions
    Referenced in context of Radio City Christmas show; used as an anecdote about holiday performances and insider tips (Santa at the morning-after show).
  • Substack — Company · Platform / hosting channel · 1 mention · first at
    Platform used for paid subscribers (Cam Conrad mentioned) and where the hosts have a paid offering / newsletter.

Products & tech

  • Vitamix — Product · physical_good · 2 mentions · first at
    High-powered blender used by kids at a 4am sleepover — part of the anecdote illustrating parenting chaos.
  • Cook Unity — Product · subscription · 1 mention · first at
    Meal delivery/pre-made meals service the host uses to simplify family dinners; recommended as a parenting time-saver.

Places & events

  • MCON — Event · Event_experience · 1 mention · first at
    Marketing AI conference where the hosts will record Pretty Funny Business Live; mentioned for promotion and discount code.
  • Cleveland, Ohio — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Host city for MAICON/ MCON conference where the live recording will take place.
    [clears throat] and I have been asked to record an episode of Pretty Funny Business Live at MCON, the marketing AI conference in Cleveland, October 13th through the 15th. This…

Sponsors

  • MAICON.ai — Event · Event_experience / promoted conference · 3 mentions
    Conference being promoted in episode show notes and with a discount code for listeners; tied to hosts doing a live recording.
  • LinkedIn — Company · Platform / promotional channel · 2 mentions · first at
    Platform where the show/founders invite listeners to follow Pretty Funny Business.
    Everything's linked in the show notes.

Full transcript with timestamps

Okay, peeves, real quick, because I will not shut up about this one. Sydney [clears throat] and I have been asked to record an episode of Pretty Funny Business Live at MCON, the marketing AI conference in Cleveland, October 13th through the 15th. This is actually a really cool conference. I'm super excited. I went last year, 3 days of people building this stuff inside real companies with real budgets and real bosses breathing down their necks. So, if you're there, come find us. will be floating around before and after our podcast session. And because I like you, we've got a $150 discount off registration. The code is pretty funny, 150, and you can register at mcon.ai.

Prices climb the longer you sit on it, so don't do that to yourself. Everything's linked in the show notes. Go register now. Hope to see you there. I always say, I'm not going to do this. My kids hate doing weekend activities. I hate having weekend activities to go to, but they both wanted to play soccer. It's only 8 weeks, so hopefully hopefully that is just the right amount of time that the novelty is not going to wear off. Do you remember when I said something that was a bad mom moment? Which is when my in-laws lovingly and graciously bought my youngest horse riding horseback riding lessons for her birthday and I told her I hope

I told her I hope she hated it. Yeah, that was mean. That was a mean thing to say to your sevenyear-old.

I said I hope you have fun. I hope you hate it. She loved it. That's what's going to happen with you and soccer and weekend activities. Babe, you're here now.

I don't want to be here. So tell them I hope you hate it. You're I signed you up for soccer, but I hope you hate it.

No, I hope you hate it. Hello and welcome to Pretty Funny Business. What's up, homies?

I'm Lauren. I'm Sydney. That's Sydney. This is all we're doing. It's just me and Lauren today. Me and Lauren and our home computers. First time in a while for that.

First time in a while. And um also this is the first time that you and I have talked since like you've been on vacation.

Yeah. Last time I talked to you was in Denver. So it was like a month ago. Um so this is also our first one.

Our first one on our first one's actually right after this. It was maybe an incorrect order of ops. I actually thought about it for quite a bit because I was like, I think we might get all the jokes out during the

That's a good point. That's a good point. That does happen sometimes. But then I was like, well, maybe I also don't want to talk about something, but then we can just edit that out. Like, I'd rather delete than out.

We put that in the Patreon for Cam Conrad. Hi, Cam. We love you. Thank you for being our paid subscriber on Substack.

Is he? I got to look. I feel like we might have lost the like his card expired and

No, that was someone else. We still got Cam. Cam's loyal. Cam will update his will update his credit card. Update that card on file.

Oh my gosh. Well, I have to say that while you're back, I am absolute toast. Like, I could not be worse right now. RIP me. First day of school.

This should be a good day. They're gone now. You know, today should be a good day, but I am so exhausted from the past four days.

That gap gap between summer camp and school starting. It's bad. And my husband was out of town, which like it's not his fault. It was for work. It It happens.

But he also, this is going to be complaining for 30 minutes. He also had a golf outing this weekend, like all day Friday. Then all day Saturday and then Saturday night I did actually go to our lake house which was really fun with friends and then Sunday was back at it. Monday he had a golf outing Monday night left for a

full time golfer. You know it's good for him that he gets out. Yeah. My kids were also just done, you know, like they are done with summer. Like I did take them back up to the lake house. We went to Putin Bay. We I looked for candy cigarettes. We

bought them all the last time apparently cuz there were times left. I did based on the um level of freshness of the bubblegum cigarettes we bought. I did believe that those had been there for since they stopped manufacturing candy cigarettes in the 80s.

In cartons. In cartons. Yes. Yeah. I did find some candy cigarettes on my trip.

I found some at Hill. No, it was in a a like gift shop that had ice cream in it also.

Nice. Um and they were the real candy ones, not the bubblegum ones. I was about to buy them and then I was like, never mind.

Oh, I like the candy ones. I know you like candy ones. I was gonna buy them for you and I was like, I've got to go through the seven levels of the candy cane forest between now and when I'm home. So, I'm just I this can't come along for the ride. But

I for myself on Amazon. There you go. That's the spirit. Yeah. Technology solved this problem for us.

Um but like I mean we watch so much screen. We ate so much candy. Small screen, big screen, medium screen, every screen. chewy sugar, the melted sugar, the liquid sugar, the hard sugar.

Did we ever talk about how might have been with Ethan how I think that the iPad is such an in like the product that we have been duped by the most because it is such an Yes, because it is such an inadequate screen size.

Like what is it good for? You know, I never use my iPad. Never use my iPad. The only time my iPad is used is when my children are watching TV on airplanes. thousand%. That's my point. Every iPad I in quotes have ever owned is my kids iPad.

Yeah. 100%. In fact, I have to constantly reiterate this point that Ellie always refers to this as her iPad. Like I want to see my iPad. I'm like, you don't own an iPad. You are four. I have an iPad. It's my iPad. And sometimes I am so nice that I let you borrow it. But actually, that is 100% of the time that the iPad is

I let my kids borrow my iPad every day for at least an hour, usually more. Everyone on the call should know this. And like we were promised so much from the iPad.

It was like going to runick. Yeah. Like we were going to be When the first iPad came out, maybe it wasn't even the first one. I got my first iPad in college and I was like, "This is going to be so great. I'm going to take it to class and take notes on it. Terrible. It's terrible for that.

And then they're like, "Oh, well, you can get a like a keyboard for it." You're like, "What?" But they laptop laptop.

I have big I have big internet already. Big internet already fits in my backpack

and it like I can see more. I can manage more. I think like I remember when I came out and I was like, "Oh, I'm going to be able to like do stuff in Marquetto on it."

No. It's like you couldn't. You know, I was actually thinking about this recently. Um, do you remember that Adobe Summit that they rolled out the Alexa integration with Marquetto?

No. Oh my gosh, it was the most random thing. And it never like did it ever actually go into production? I don't know.

Soft joke. It was like you could be like, "Alexa, you like Alexa, what's the size of my database?"

Yeah. Oh no. Alexa, she heard me. She doesn't have the Marquetto integration installed.

The look on your face was sheer terror. Like, oh, should I say what she gonna say? Uh, yeah, but they they rolled that out at Summit and they had a bunch of Alexexas around that you could ask those questions of their demo instance, but I never when when everyone they're like, who is this for? And I think that might be also true for the iPad. Who is this for? Four years.

It's not big internet. It's not little internet. It's medium. And we don't. It's the worst of both worlds.

It doesn't do either. Yeah. Instead, we were promised it would do both, but it doesn't do.

Instead, it doesn't either. It doesn't fit in my pocket. No. And I need a keyboard for it to be big internet. So,

how are you supposed to be? That's what I mean. When my husband got me one, I don't know. Let's say I got Pippa one when she was a baby. Uh, he was like, "I thought you'd like do work on it." I was like, "No." I was like, "My Dolingo Dolingo." Like, "Good. It's a bigger Dolingo." Yeah. I like to You mostly just play games on it. It's good for that.

Yeah. Um, but my kids are absolutely absolutely toast. And I don't know if it's going to get better today, you know, like they're the first take a while. It's a hard

gets worse. Gets worse before it gets better. Um, especially in a I don't I don't I feel like you guys are probably better at this, but we are a very type B household.

Very neurode divergent household. And getting everyone's supplies and like where they need to be at their like first of all, three kids is too many kids for a type B family. And like last night I was helping my oldest who's going into eighth grade which I can't believe but we were just packing up the school supplies which were thankfully like the leftover school supplies cuz I had already done the girls so I was like I didn't have to forage through everything. Yeah.

Um and there were a few mishaps like ah shoot I think I sent the big the big uh glue sticks with your sisters. Like your teacher's just going to have to be happy with 12 small ones. Like that's just how this is going to have to go. But there was like one moment where I really almost lost my We had to get a roll of paper towels. And so I was like, "All right, go get one from the basement, which is where we keep them in like this little supply closet." And so we were not far from the basement. And so after like 60 seconds, I started to get like concerned like where'd he go?

And also he had like already packed some of his supplies. And so it like wasn't helpful for me to just like continue to go down the list cuz I'm like where's the graph paper? I don't know. Is it in his backpack already? So I'm like waiting for him to come back with a roll of paper towels.

Mhm. And he's not coming back. And so I like go and I look down into the stairwell of the basement and he's standing there in the middle of the stairwell still like descending not he has not procured the paper towels yet.

He's looking at his phone. Oh no. and he barefoot has two sheets of tissue paper stuck to his feet. And I'm looking at this situation like what has happened in the last 60 seconds. I got you and I was like, "Buddy, what are you doing?" And he's like, "Ah, I got an ESPN alert." Oh no. And I was like, "Okay, you need to put your phone down. You didn't need your phone.

Lock the in, homie. Hit the paper towel. We're going to bed." And I'm like, "And what kind of tussle did you get into with the tissue paper on the way?" I am sure not unlike many other families in America and around the world. And [clears throat] not you again because you are in a one floor abode.

Yeah. that if you need to send something upstairs, it gets placed on the stairs. And the next time you go up,

you'll grab which is never. And when you need something to go downstairs, you put it on the stairs, which is where like we keep our wrapping paper and tissue paper and everything. And so on his way down, he was obviously we do keep it like to the side,

but where you can clearly just like nicely walk down the stairs, but he was obviously just not paying attention and somehow got

reading his ESPN alert. Exactly. On the way down. Anyway, that's my story of that was almost that was the last straw.

That was the last draw. That was awesome. I um I slowly procure the back to school items over the course of several months. Like not the supply list, you know, like the supply list. I just like order it all in Target or whatever and it comes, but the like new sneakers, new water bottle, like a couple new outfits, just like back to school stuff. Um and I put it in my closet, which is not very big, and it also has all my clothes in it. I'm just like throwing stuff in there. So, once we get closer to school starting, it's like Christmas morning.

I'm like pulling down like, "Oh, wow. Look at all the things we have for back to school. What a what a time. What an exciting time."

I'm like so proud that you remember that you got all that stuff. I'd be like, I don't. That's what I'm saying. It's a surprise for everybody.

And there's like, well, Chance got two pairs of sneakers for back to school this year. Congratulations, buddy. I don't know who did that for you, but somebody who loves you.

So nice. Someone who loves you so so much. Um, this year I got my kids um, this was kind of sad. I I kept getting ads for these Sketchers that I'm sure your kids are well beyond this, but they like have a little car that goes into the shoe. They're so cute. As the first time I saw them, I was like, "Baby Chance would have died for these." Like three or fouryear-old Chance would have died. But then I showed them to him and he was like, "Yeah, those are cool." So, I bought them and Ellie was like, "I want some, too." So, I bought them and they're like expensive. They're like stupid. They're ugly. I was like, "This is like very sweet. I'm going to buy it." And they came and Tim was like, "Do you think Chance is maybe a little old

for for a sneaker with a Matchbox car in it?" I was like, "No, he's not." But he's probably on the tail end of that. So, anyway, uh Ellie was here when I opened the box that contained the sneakers. So, she has been wearing them, but she's only allowed to wear them inside the apartment and then they go back into back to school jail.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you can't get them No, you can't wear them to camp. You're going to lose the car before school even starts.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh um my same son has a brand new pair of Air Force ones. Air. I don't I don't know. I don't know.

Boy sneakers. He was like stifflegged walking to the bus this morning. like limping a little and I was like,

"Are you okay?" I was like, "Did you get did you hurt yourself?" He was like, "No, you can't crease. They must be Jordans." Cuz he was going, "You can't crease the J's." And I was like, "What?"

Oh my god. And he was like, "You can't crease them, but like the part front of the shoe if I don't." And I was like,

"Bro, you cannot. You look injured. Like you cannot walk like that. Can't walk like that." Is that like after they don't want the Matchbox car in the heel of their sneaker anymore? So you can't crease the J's. That's like the next phase,

I guess. So, but then he immediately walked through the wet grass. No one's ever said 13-year-old boys were smart.

They're not. I wanted to say if you thought they might be, they're not. And I don't know when

from the ground. No, I don't know when they get smart. I don't know what happens. I feel like we are good parents. And I also feel like we take our children on life experience. Like that's important to us to be like,

"Sure. I'm nervous to launch my kids into the world, you know, like without a parent. Like you're gonna have to go to college one day and like you're not gonna have someone to like

tell you don't walk with your like you need your knees to walk. And who's going to tell him that when he's 21?

Unfortunately, it's gonna be someone mean like, "Bro, what are you doing?" Oh my gosh. Anyway, I love my kids. Poor baby. I do.

And we still have three weeks until school starts. That's crazy. After it's Thursday after Labor Day. Yeah. And Labor Day is like This is like as late as it can ever be cuz I think September 1st is on a Tuesday.

Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Something like that. Got it. And they get out of school pretty late though, right?

Yeah. I think Chanc's last day of school this year was like June 26th. Yeah. It's wild. Do you like shifted a whole like

I guess the whole or whatever? Yeah. Are you like looking forward to them going back to school? Are they still in camp?

Oh my gosh. Uh yeah, they're still in camp. Well, right now Chance is at my parents house in North Carolina. This is his week of lolly camp and Ellie is here being an only child. That's weird and kind of sad. Um they're still in camp. But while we were on vacation last week, I did uh what I would say was an ineffective and not recommended parenting tactic, which was I told them I was going to call the school and move up the start date of school because they needed to go back to school. They're fighting a lot and they're just like, you know, they're just like being spoiled by grandparents and aunts and uncles and there's just like there's no kids around and like a million adults providing like unlimited one-on-one attention and they're just losing their minds. I'm like, you got to go back to school. Like, I can't. We're not not doing this anymore.

I don't want to see you covered in popsicle on the beach being like, I'm bored. Leave Leave me alone. Go elsewhere, please.

I did buy a shirt in Buddha that says no crying on the yacht. Like, come on, kids.

Yeah, get it together. That was I made a LinkedIn post about this. I was like, I need to make my kids go to school. Like, I can't possibly be in awe of the shape of one more French fry. Like yesterday, Pippa showed me a Chick-fil-A French fry and said, "Mom, look at this one. It's a waffle fry." It looked like every other waffle fry.

I don't even know what she was showing. She saw something special. She was like, "Look at this waffle fry." So, summer's really over. We're marveling.

I love it. Marveling at the waffle fries, man. I love [snorts] it so much. Uh, but so I am happy that they're back to programming cuz they all really need it. They also need to get back on a normal sleep schedule. I made the most awful decision. And the day before yesterday, my son asked me if he could have a sleepover and I said no. My my husband was at home and he was like, "I'm just going to have a couple friends over." I was like, "Okay, who?" And his answer was five. Which

that's more than a couple. Maybe not in eighth grade. And also, you didn't answer my question. So, anyway, he's like, "It's the last day. Whatever. I'm trying to be cool, Mom." I'm like, "All right, but I have to let you know like I cannot be involved. I cannot help you. I cannot feed you. I cannot play games. I cannot help you figure out where you're going to sleep." Like I was so done. Like I was like if you guys want to sleep here for some reason and I mean they're they're good kids. Like that's it's fine.

But I was like I will be in the building. I will be available for questions. I am not

be available for emergencies. Yes. I'm like don't have one. Don't have one. And at 4:00 in the morning um my youngest came into like into bed with me and like mom I can't sleep. They're making smoothies.

Oh my god. [gasps] I was like, "Is it worth it being the cool mom?" It was not worth it. I I I'm telling you, don't do it. Like, I should have said no. I should have said no. And it also was the last like they were up making smoothies at 4:00 in the morning and then sleeping and then slept all day

and then went to school the next day. Now you know what not to do. Never again. Quick truth. Marketing ops is hard and no one taught you how to survive it. That's where Emmy Collective comes in. We fix the mess your team's already made. Databases that don't explode, campaigns that don't implode, and MQLs that actually mean something. Basically, we do the heavy lifting so your marketing can stop being a dumpster fire. Check us out at mico.com before your next email sends itself into chaos. 4 a.m. smoothies and their sleep schedule is for a week. Um, I like try to get them back on a normal sleep schedule the week before school starts. It doesn't always work, but they don't. They're Chance. They're young, you know. Chance is already an early riser. They already just wake up.

They're up at like 7:30 is sleeping in. Yeah. So, it's not a huge deal. But we do have to get out of the door at 7:45 when school is back.

Yeah. Pippa's bus comes at 7:20. Yeah. which is 6 minutes later than it was last year. So, thank you for the gift.

Little treat. I shouldn't complain. My husband does that every morning because he's an angel.

Mhm. Um, this is my first year where my kids are going to be in the same school.

Wow. Uh-huh. I'm going to have one drop off. Revolutionary. How long? That's going to save you 30 minutes.

We did the last two drop off mornings. Uh, well, Tim did them alone without me while we were in Seattle and Denver because they're in the same camp for the rest of the summer. Oh,

nice. There's one one drop off forever now. What are you going to do with all your time?

Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Me trying to hire a new nanny cuz my nanny quit.

This is I'm sorry. The annual annual quitting of the nanny. Nobody wants to work anymore. Nobody wants to work anymore. No, I mean, you know, my nannies quit because they're part-time nannies who are trying to do something else and then something else pans out. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, that's great. And then I thought I found another nanny and she just informed me that she actually got a job on, wait for it, the Polar Express and therefore will not be available.

Where is the Polar Express for you? It's in Jersey. But when [clears throat] does it start? Like, hey, uh I can you ask Santa if maybe like

So, I think it starts in November, but I think that they're doing rehearsals now. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I see. And she's a swing, so she has to learn every part. Wow. Your um Polar Express sounds more involved than ours. I have never been because it is very expensive and also far away.

Uh but she was like, "Let me know if you want to take the kids." I was like, "I would like to take the kids." And she was like, "Okay."

Yeah, you should do it. This would be a good year to do it. Yeah. Yeah. The last time we did it two years ago, we were like, "This is our We probably done it three or four times. We were like, "This is our last time."

Oh, yeah. Which is sad. But your kids are too old. Our kids are too old. Let me tell you another parenting hack that I have.

Do it again. Another parenting hack I have is um you know we have the Radio City Rockett which is a fun Christmas show that you can take your kids to. Also very expensive like really priced for tourists. Like I this is our big family trip to New York at Christmas time. So yeah, we're going to spend $250 per person

to see the Rucketts. Uh, but the pricing is variable based on the show. So, we go the morning after Christmas on December 26th, which is great. It's like a 10:30 in the morning show. It is the cheapest tickets all season. And did you know that at most of the shows they have one of Santa's helpers, but at the morning after Christmas show, Santa just stays and it's the real Santa. Oh,

in the Rockett show before he goes back to the North Pole. That's his grand finale. That's exactly what he wants to do. That's how he really puts a bow on Christmas.

Incredible. What a guy. Yeah, what a guy. Not many people know that. That's an insider tip.

I'm so shocked. I can't actually believe it. So anyway, I got to find another nanny that is not going to abandon me to go be a rockhead or work on the Polar Express or something. Um, but otherwise, yes, my mornings are going to be much better.

That's amazing. You know, one of the reasons I really like having a nanny is the nanny takes the children to their after school activities, so I don't have to do that. And um I have slightly bamboozled myself this year by signing my children up for a weekend activity.

Oh no. I always say I'm not going to do this. My kids hate doing weekend activities. I hate having weekend activities to go to. They're like so dead by the weekend after a full week of school. They just want to be like at home and maybe go to the playground and see a friend and not have to like get up at 9:00, get out the door at 9:00 to go to swim lessons. But they both wanted to play soccer. It's only 8 weeks. So hopefully hopefully that is just the right amount of time that the novelty is not going to wear off.

Do you remember? Yeah. [clears throat] Do you remember when I said something that was a bad mom moment? I just feel like what maybe you're feeling right now again still, which is

when my in-laws lovingly and graciously bought my youngest horse riding horseback riding lessons for her birthday

and I told her I hope I told her I hope she hated it. Yeah, that was mean. That was a mean thing to say to your sevenyear-old.

I said, "I hope you have fun. I hope you hate it." She loved it. But she was like, "Why would you say that?" And I was like, "It is a very expensive and timeconsuming sport, but maybe you can continue to go like, you know, every once in a while." Um, but that's what's going to happen with you and soccer and weekend activities. Babe, you're here now.

They're at that age. And I don't want to be here. So, I hope you hate it. You're I signed for soccer.

I know. I hope you hate it. I was just talking to my neighbor who's has boys who are the same age as or you know around the same age as my kids and uh we were talking about having them try out for the swim team together and I was like I don't think we can do I think I I got to be a soccer mom for eight weeks and then we can revisit swim team. But I did it. I was so proud of myself. I was like we're not we can't do soccer and swim one at a time. One at a time. Um, it's so hard. So, I have three kids, two girls, one boy. The girls are in dance

and so consuming dance company, which is like they're on the Polar Express. They're they That's a really good example. So, my girls aren't in competitive dance, which I think is even more time consuming because they're like flying to competitions and things like that. My girls are in a performance-based place, which is cool. But they have a lot of performances which they then have like rehearsals for. So they do like maybe I don't know five a year or something like that. And they my [clears throat] oldest daughter got promoted to the next dance level.

Actually they both got they both got promoted like up to the next dance level which is great but it both but it means for both of them there's an extra like day. So, Marina will be

like, "I hope you don't get promoted. I hope you hate it. I hope you hate it. I hope you suck.

I hope you suck. I hope you don't make the team. I hope you don't make it." Make the team.

So, Marina is there five days a week. No. And Pippa is there three. And I think the girl math maths here that one of the days does not overlap. So like whatever day Marina has off like Wednesdays and Sundays, Pippa has dance.

Great. So you were there seven days a week. I am there I am there at least six days a week. And if they have rehearsal on Sunday, which is about every other seven days a week.

Um, so you're there like 340 days a year. So I So it's only during the school season, though. It's not that.

Thankfully, it's 10 minutes away. That's what I'm thankful for. Some downsides include [gasps] that it's not really like a school activity and so there aren't like carpool parents, you know, it's not like oh like so and so in the neighborhood is also in dance here. Uh the other downsides are that even on the days that they do have dance on the same day, they start and end at different times.

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So there are some days where we have to go like four times.

Yeah. I I This is worse than it's ever been. This is like a moment for us to be like

I don't even know if we can do it. Like I know that we can and I've asked them like do they want you to hire someone?

We have to hire someone. You're gonna have to hire a parttime nanny. We have to. We were like really the technology is not there yet for there to be some kind of like Tesla shuttle that just goes back and forth.

Like putting your kids in lifts. That's not good. No, we won't be doing that. I do draw the line somewhere.

But you were thinking like a driverless one would be okay. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A shuttle. A Whimo would be okay. A Whimo that just goes back and forth. That's all I need. Just back and forth, back and forth. This exact drop off

cuz then Michael, he's also What you need is a child that drives which is not there yet. We have three years and he's going to be driving himself to his own which is fine, but his is [clears throat] not his time. He has soccer twice a week and then he has saxophone which actually is also at the college.

Saxophone. Wow. Mhm. Is this his first year of saxophone? No, he's been playing it. So,

what kind of sex one is it? Is it alto sex? [clears throat] Tener sex? I don't know.

Is there a bass? I'll listen. I'll report back. Thank you. For the paid subscribers, you'll get to know what type of saxophone Michael

I will say [clears throat] he's started playing the regular saxophone, whatever that is.

The regular saxophone. Like the first year they just get the default saxophone and then I don't know what the default saxophone is. In my middle school band, there are tener saxophones and alto saxophone.

Which one do you get? If you're only going to get one, which one is it going to be?

What are you talking about? You only get one. I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying there's

If the band only had one saxophone, which one would you have? I don't know. There's a group of five.

I was not good at band saxophone. I never had band. I went to Catholic school. We didn't we didn't have fun instead.

Yeah, we sang in church. Fridays we have school, Sundays with her family. The reason I'm really thinking about this is because he did get there. The first year they're allowed to play the default instruments. The second year you can play the more like specialized. So he's like a different sexual.

He said he was going to try out to be the same. Whatever the word is tener. It might be tener. [clears throat]

All right. Cool. Well, he plays clarinet and sex. He's really good. So he wants to be in the jazz band. Um but one thing about our school district is that band is in the curriculum. Isn't that terrifying?

What do you mean? Is it like that in It's probably like that in New York because of mom Donnie. But like

I don't know what you're talking about. Like it's required that they play an instrument or be in choir I think. Yeah.

Everyone has to. Yeah. You know I guess in when I was growing up it was like you had to do

an art and band could satisfy that requirement or choir could satisfy that requirement or like pottery could satisfy that requirement. See, they're in middle school and they're already they already have individualized curriculums, which is so crazy to me because again, I went to Catholic school with the same 25 kids until I was in eighth grade. Like, don't worry, we had art. We were mod podgeing the out of everything.

Chris fixes. So much stained glass. Mix up stained glass with the tissue paper art. Nailed it. Nailed it. H. But anyway, here's your yearly reminder that the box is not pre-checked.

Don't sign up for stuff. Don't sign up. Just don't do it. Default to no. Do we have time to be the room parent?

No. No. I can't be the room parent. Thank you to the room parent. You know, let me tell you something else I learned about soccer. In my mind, in my dream, the soccer games were all at the soccer field by my house and they were at the same soccer field for both children. And I have been informed that that is not true.

That neither of them are playing at the soccer field by my house and that they are also not playing at the same soccer field.

And are there practices at the same field? I don't think there are practices. I think it's like you show up on Saturday and they do a practice and then they play a game.

Okay. It's just all one one package. Mom will fix that. Thank you, Zoran. He's [clears throat] really interested in soccer, so that would be great. Uh but it is also a co-op league, so every parent has to volunteer.

Oh, yeah. And so Tim's going to be a ref for Chance's team. And I volunteered to be the like the room mom because for soccer it's an email's job and I was like I will do whatever is the emails job. I can email everyone.

I can make the snack schedule like whatever. But you're not going to require me to like be there and set up or learn the rules of soccer or buy the snacks every week or whatever. I've been a soccer mom for it. Also, I should say was my first introduction to soccer. Being a being a soccer mom.

Uhhuh. six or seven years now. I have no idea how the how this game works. I know one or two things. I know no hands

unless they're going in the goal. You stay in the rectangle. It's like offside, but only sometimes.

You can't kick people. That's bad. Get in trouble for that. But sometimes you can like tug on their shirt and that's fine.

I don't know about that. I look at my eyes and I go, "Does that look bad?" I said it's bad. That was bad. Red card. Exactly.

Red card. Well, this is how my adventures go with being a soccer parent. Um, I have proudly declined to volunteer for many PTA events.

I'm so proud of you. I feel like when you when you first were out on your parenting journey, you know, I think like as as parents like you want to be involved, like you want to help.

Yeah. And I want to support my children. And you know, [clears throat] it's always exciting when your mom is at school. Like like I always try to volunteer at the book fair.

Yeah. My my kids love when I'm at the book fair. And I try to go to two PTA meetings a year.

Unattainable. They're they're monthly and I think I can make it to two out of 10. And um I did help with the spring fair. They asked me to plan the entire spring fair which is their biggest fundraiser of the year. And I said no thank you. Proud of myself for that. Um, but I did help them gather auction items. Then they asked if I would help gather more auction items for a fundraiser they're doing in September. And I said I cannot do that because I am very busy this summer.

Thank you for understanding. Thank you for your consideration. Thank you for your consideration.

So the box is not pre-checked. You're a good parent if you even wanted to check the box, but you don't have to.

Yeah, even if you didn't want to. I do want to. I'm not saying me, I'm saying you. You know, things really changed though like after co it was like weird. It was like before you could like this is this is the problem that I truly face is that before it was like

you could kind of more sign up for like one of the parties or one thing here and there, but now they're like, "No, we want like

room parents that are doing this doing all of it all year round." Well, I can't do that. So,

no. No. My kids school really doesn't do that. Like there is a a class parent whose job is to make sure that the PTA announcements are distributed to the other parents, but that's it. Like they're not

No. Ours people doing Halloween and Valentine's Day and No, there's no there's nothing like that. There's no class that.

No. Good for them. Once a month they have an open classroom where all the parents can come in and

once a month. Once a month. And you come in and you do an activity with your kid and you leave.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Seems like a lot though. Yeah. Well, listen, we all know what happened. Uh, last time I went to read with my kid, I fell on my face, so I'm not ever going again.

And never forget about the time you ran into the daycare. Oh, I drove my car into the daycare. I don't know if we've ever talked about that in this, but maybe next time.

Absolutely have. Right. No. Comment down below. Have you heard the story? Have you heard the story of Lauren driving her Jeep into the daycare?

Let's not talk about that. That was just a normal pickup drop off day. So anyway, um so parenting, especially this time of year, can be incredibly stressful. Oh my gosh, I'm taking a page out of the podcast book from our friends over at Full Stack Moms,

Shannon and Mallerie. We love you, Shannon and Mallerie. have this really wonderful little segment at the end of their uh episodes called Save of the Week, like what is

helping you. Um, so I thought maybe we could talk about some of the things that like help us

or where we need help. Like number one, define the problem. How am I going to go back and forth 48 times a week to

You just have to hire someone that can do that for you. This is a problem you can solve with money. Mhm. Privilege problem.

Yeah. Yeah. That needs to go away. Kenzie. Kenzie. Beloved babysitter. Kinsey. How old do we think the driver? Should they be 18?

16. If you know and trust them. Well, 16. They need to be in order to have their license.

Yeah. Like if Kinsey was 16, I would say yes. But if it's just like a stranger you're hiring, I would shoot for 18.

Yeah. All right. I think she already has a job, but I might have to increase the value of this one.

Yeah. Offer her something she can't refuse. How about $2? I will pay you $7. Oh my gosh. All right. So, what else do we pay people to deal with?

Well, my part-time nanny is my save of the week for always and forever. I tried to do the first half of last year school year without a nanny after my nanny quit. I was like, I maybe I don't need this anymore. But it's just not true. I mean, the picking the kids up from school in and of itself is hugely valuable. Uh taking them to all the activities is hugely valuable, but also we travel a lot. You and me travel a lot. And uh it is very helpful to have another grown-up who can be here with Tim so that someone can make dinner and someone can do bath time and you just have more more hands- on deck. and he travels for work, too.

It's It's super helpful for me. So, part-time nanny, love it. I live close to a college, so it is easy for me to find college students who have not yet joined the Polar Express. Um, but there is higher turnover the Polar Express seeking recent grads.

Shoot, she needs to build her resume. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good. I'm happy for her. It's It's a very good thing for her. That's what it always is when a nanny leaves. you know, it's a very good thing for them and it's a very sad thing for me. Um, my save of the week that I shared on full stack moms is also still my save of the week, which is a system that I implemented in my home at the beginning of last school year that is now going to be a permanent system. Um, each of my children have five packing cubes and every Sunday when we fold and put away all the laundry, they have to pick out their five outfits for the week and put them in their packing cubes and it has made the mornings much much smoother. I like that. Mine's mostly like I need to Door Dash more.

We do pre We do pre-made meals. Like we use Cook Unity, which I think is national, but it's like a

you know, it's like a factor kind of thing, but it's fresher. It's not as like Are they individual meals or family meals?

Yeah. Yeah, they're individual. Individual meals. Yeah. So, we always get that for a couple meals a week. And especially with my older kids are like eating so much. It's I I like can't

Yeah. And you're in the car all the time because you got to go back and forth to dance four times a day.

Yeah. That's like a problem. Like they have to eat at 4:00 and then they're hungry again at 9:00. Like

somebody We do more smoothies this year. The year of the smoothie. Yeah. Think about it. They were doing them at the sleepover.

Yeah. How hard could it be? Boys do it. How hard can it be? Boys. Boys do it at 4 am. Dumb 13 year old boys do it at 4 am. You can make a smoothie to drink in the car. They were using my Vitamix at 4:00 a.m. in my open concept household. 13-year-old boys are not smart. You know, they're not the critical thinking part of the brain doesn't develop for some of them ever, but for most of them just a little later in life.

They need so much care. Anyway, check back with us in a couple weeks. See if we're all right. Good luck out there, little podcast.

Good luck out there, little podcast. And us. Good luck out there, US.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby"?

Lauren (Guest), Sydney (Guest).

What is "We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby" about?

Two friends discuss their busy lives, announcing a marketing conference appearance, sharing a discount code for attendees, and candidly recounting parenting moments and the mixed feelings around their kids' activities. The conversation blends industry talk with humorous, relatable personal anecdotes.

What is mentioned in this Pretty Funny Business episode?

8 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Vitamix, MCON, Rockettes, Cleveland, Ohio, Cook Unity, Substack. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "We Told Our Kid We Hope She Hates Her New Hobby"?

The episode runs 45 min; the transcript is about 8,308 words in 200 timestamped sections.

More from Pretty Funny Business

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 2, 2026.