--- title: "The Smosh Halloween Special transcript | Smosh | Reclip.Me" description: "Full transcript of \"The Smosh Halloween Special\" from Smosh, October 30, 2026. 27 min, 3,011 words, timestamped. 8 notable quotes and 16 mentions including…" canonical: https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript --- Transcript # The Smosh Halloween Special From [Smosh](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh) · [Episode page](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special) · [Watch on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUImAViEUfE) October 30, 2026 · 27 min · 3,011 words · 33 timestamped sections This is the full, timestamped transcript of "The Smosh Halloween Special", an episode of Smosh published October 30, 2026 (27 min, about 3,011 words). It mentions 16 people, works and ideas, including Danny, Addison, Conrad Pump, Jill, BF Wellington. ## What this episode is about In this darkly comic setup, two siblings plot a Halloween party fueled by mischief, social climbing, and edgy fantasies, while navigating parental absence and a tense dynamic with a mysterious figure named Conrad Pump. The tension escalates as they push boundaries around party rules, safety, and reputations. ## Key takeaways - Halloween plans reveal that youth crave 'adult' thrills, but boundaries keep chaos in check—contrast party chaos with parental constraints. - Conrad Pump as status symbol shows how influencers can hijack a private space, turning power into performance. - Private-private party spirals into surveillance: strangers, chauffeurs, and private events blur lines between safety and exposure. - The 'no costumes' rule backfires, highlighting how identity signals (dress) are a quick social currency at gatherings. - Addison’s croaking and uninvited entry expose social fragility: reputations hinge on who you invite or alienate. ## Who speaks in this episode? - [Danny](https://reclip.me/speaker/danny) (Host) · 4 min speaking - [Jill](https://reclip.me/speaker/jill) (Guest) · 3 min speaking - [Shannon](https://reclip.me/speaker/shannon) · 3 min speaking - [Addison](https://reclip.me/speaker/addison) (Guest) · 2 min speaking - [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/speaker/conrad-pump) (Guest) · 2 min speaking - [Larry](https://reclip.me/speaker/larry) · 1 min speaking - [Traxton](https://reclip.me/speaker/traxton) · 1 min speaking - [Jagger](https://reclip.me/speaker/jagger) · 1 min speaking ## What is discussed, and when 1. [0:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=0) – 5:00: [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963), [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964), [Danny](https://reclip.me/entity/139965), [Larry](https://reclip.me/entity/139966) 2. [5:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=300) – 10:00: [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964), [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963), [Jill](https://reclip.me/entity/139969) 3. [10:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=600) – 15:00: [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964), [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963), [Danny](https://reclip.me/entity/139965), [Traxton](https://reclip.me/entity/139967) 4. [15:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=900) – 20:00: [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963), [Video Hut](https://reclip.me/company/video-hut), [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964), [Jill](https://reclip.me/entity/139969) 5. [20:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1200) – 25:00: [Danny](https://reclip.me/entity/139965), [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964), [BF Wellington](https://reclip.me/entity/139968), [Jill](https://reclip.me/entity/139969) 6. [25:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1500) – 26:37: [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963), [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964) ## Notable quotes from "The Smosh Halloween Special" - > (cereal crunching) (spoon rattling) - Hey, should we do anything for Halloween? *about [Danny](https://reclip.me/entity/139965) · at [0:36](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=36)* - > And if we throw a killer party, maybe Conrad Pump will show up. *about [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963) · at [1:26](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=86)* - > (upbeat rhythmic music) (upbeat rhythmic music continues) - What the hell is Addison doing here? *about [Jill](https://reclip.me/entity/139969) · at [6:05](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=365)* - > Well, no offense, but that's a really cool point. *about [Zeus](https://reclip.me/entity/68788) · at [14:31](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=871)* - > (Traxton grunts) (plunger impaling) Oh, fudge. *about [Traxton](https://reclip.me/entity/139967) · at [15:37](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=937)* - > Larry, Oakley, we need to get rid of all of this food, so start eating it. *about [Larry](https://reclip.me/entity/139966) · at [18:14](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1094)* - > Boy, did somebody say drum and bass? *about [BF Wellington](https://reclip.me/entity/139968) · at [21:42](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1302)* - > Addison, on behalf of Danny and the rest of our family, we are so sorry we didn't invite you to our party. *about [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964) · at [24:54](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1494)* ## Who and what is mentioned in this episode? ### People - [Bette Midler](https://reclip.me/person/bette-midler) — Person · Referenced celebrity (movie example) · 1 mention · first at [1:06](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=66) Named in an early joke about watching forbidden movies ('Hocus Pocus' starring Bette Midler) — a passing cultural reference. We can watch all the flicks that mom and dad won't let us see, like Hocus Pocus starring Bette Midler. ### Companies & orgs - [Video Hut](https://reclip.me/company/video-hut) — Company · Referenced local rental store (plot device) · 2 mentions · first at [18:19](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1099) Mentioned as the place to return overdue tapes — small comedic detail that grounds the party in a dated, physical-video context. Jill, return these tapes to Video Hut. - [YMCA](https://reclip.me/company/ymca) — Company · Referenced location / source of found object · 1 mention · first at [2:22](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=142) Mentioned when Danny says he found a pendant in the locker room of the YMCA — small prop origin detail. I found it in the locker room of the YMCA and they have a very strict finder's keepers policy. ### Places & events - [Hacienda](https://reclip.me/location/hacienda) — Place · Referenced nightclub/venue (part of DJ backstory) · 1 mention · first at [21:55](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1315) Mentioned by BF Wellington as part of jokey DJ credentials ('I brought the house down at the Hacienda in Manchester') — used to humorously legitimize the DJ. I play all over South Asia and Malaysia. - [London](https://reclip.me/location/london-4) — Place · Referenced city (DJ backstory) · 1 mention · first at [21:50](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1310) Referenced as part of BF Wellington's origin story ('came up spinning ... in London') to comically bolster DJ credentials. I came up spinning oil court rage in London and I brought the house down at the Hacienda in Manchester. - [Manchester](https://reclip.me/location/manchester) — Place · Referenced city (DJ backstory) · 1 mention · first at [21:50](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1310) Used in DJ BF Wellington's exaggerated resume to establish international DJ credibility (humorous). I came up spinning oil court rage in London and I brought the house down at the Hacienda in Manchester. ### Media & podcasts - [Danny](https://reclip.me/entity/139965) — Character · Host-family son / central protagonist · 4 mentions · first at [0:43](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=43) One of the main family members throwing the Halloween party; his actions (insisting no costumes, obsession with impressing Conrad Pump) drive the plot. He collapses near the end and is revived, which resolves the curse plot and prompts reconciliation. - [Addison](https://reclip.me/entity/139964) — Character · Party guest / disruptive character who ultimately saves Danny · 14 mentions · first at [2:10](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=130) Arrives uninvited, causes tension with main hosts but later performs life-saving action (CPR) — pivotal to plot resolution and moral turnaround. - [Conrad Pump](https://reclip.me/entity/139963) — Character · Referenced socialite/party guest · 16 mentions · first at [1:28](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=88) Central object of the hosts' desire to impress; sparks much of the party drama and conflict in the episode. - [Jill](https://reclip.me/entity/139969) — Character · Host-family member / party organizer · 4 mentions · first at [6:55](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=415) One of the siblings/hosts helping run the party and dealing with the aftermath (dead bodies, cleanup, etc.); participates in decision-making. - [BF Wellington](https://reclip.me/entity/139968) — Character · DJ / deus ex machina to provide rave music · 1 mention · first at [21:46](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1306) Appears to supply 'drum and bass' decks and DJ credibility needed to break curse via rave dance; enables final sequence where curse is lifted. - [Traxton](https://reclip.me/entity/139967) — Character · Toilet-fixer / supporting comic character · 3 mentions · first at [11:58](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=718) Introduced as a handy 'toilet boy' who can unclog toilets; participates in party chaos and later attempts CPR/resuscitation efforts. - [Larry](https://reclip.me/entity/139966) — Character · Chauffeur / supporting character · 2 mentions · first at [3:54](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=234) Appears as a chauffeur who is allowed inside the party; helps with some cleanup and is present during the escalating chaos. - [Zeus](https://reclip.me/entity/68788) — Character · Casual belief referenced in dialogue · 1 mention · first at [13:58](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=838) Mentioned in a brief comedic exchange where characters discuss belief/prayer to Zeus — used for character development and small comic beat. - [Hocus Pocus](https://reclip.me/media/hocus-pocus) — Media · Referenced movie (joke) · 1 mention · first at [1:06](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=66) Used as an example of a 'forbidden' movie the kids want to watch — helps establish Halloween theme and tone. We can watch all the flicks that mom and dad won't let us see, like Hocus Pocus starring Bette Midler. - [Frankenweenie](https://reclip.me/media/frankenweenie) — Media · Referenced movie (joke) · 1 mention · first at [1:11](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=71) Mentioned as part of a list of forbidden movies the kids might watch — contributes to Halloween/party setup. We can watch all the flicks that mom and dad won't let us see, like Hocus Pocus starring Bette Midler. ## Full transcript with timestamps [0:06](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=6) (cereal crunching) (object cracking) (dramatic music) (objects rattling) (cereal crunching) (spoon rattling) - Hey, should we do anything for Halloween? Mom and dad won't be back from the Amazon for three more days. We have the whole place to ourselves. - I know. Maybe you guys can watch me eat my Eggo waffles. They're thick and fluffy. - We could, but we always do that. We could play with my marbles. I have rubber bands, too. - Oh, you guys are thinking too pedestrian here. - How about a spooky movie marathon? We can watch all the flicks that mom and dad won't let us see, like "Hocus Pocus" starring Bette Midler. [1:08](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=68) You know, nasty stuff. - Bette Midler sounds great and all, but what about "Frankenweenie", the German version with full frontal? - Ooh, I know. Why don't we throw a full on, balls out three keger Halloween party? We can have dancing, and hoochie mamas, and everything. - Yes, now that's an excellent idea. And if we throw a killer party, maybe Conrad Pump will show up. - Ooh, Conrad Pump. - And if Conrad Pump is impressed, we can finally be popular. - Ooh, let's do this. - (sighs) A party? I don't know, you guys. Mom and dad wouldn't like that. [1:42](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=102) And Conrad Pump, why do you care so much about what some influential socialite thinks? - He's more than an influential socialite, Danny. He's cool, he's mature, and he's a real man. We could use some of that around here. - It's true. - Ah, geez, this all sounds too wet and wild. - Oh, come on, Danny - - \[Both\] Please. - Okay, fine. We can throw a party, but absolutely no costumes. That way everyone is recognizable and trusted. - \[Jill And Shannon\] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And we have to make sure not to invite Addison. [2:13](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=133) She's always croaking. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if she croaks around Conrad Pump, that would be a disaster. Hey, what the hell is that? - Oh, this? I found it in the locker room of the YMCA and they have a very strict finder's keepers policy. It's mine now, hoes. - (scoffs) That's great stuff, Danny. Now let's get to work. - \[All\] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (yeahs continues) [2:42](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=162) (bright energetic music) - Halloween party tonight. - Yeah, we'll have snacks. - Do not wear costumes. We will not let you in. - Conrad Pump might show up. (bright energetic music) Sure, Coco, you can bring your muscles. Just don't bring Addison. - Tell everyone except Addison. (bright energetic music) [3:24](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=204) (clippers buzzing) (clippers buzzing) Ow. (blood drop splattering) (doorbell ringing) - I'll get it. (door clicking and creaking) - \[Both\] Hey. - Hey guys. You're the first ones here. Hi. Are you - - Oh, that's Larry. He's with us. (eerie music) - Hi, Larry. Sorry, this is a no costumes Halloween party, so - - Oh, he's not wearing a costume. He's our chauffeur. - Yeah, we thought, for once, he could just come in and have fun with us instead of waiting in the car. (eerie music) - Yeah, sure. Okay, come on in. - Go ahead, Larry. [4:16](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=256) It's okay. - That's a good boy, Larry. (ominous rhythmic music) (door thudding) Hey guys, great party. I got to drop an anaconda off in the aquarium. Can I use your bathroom? - It's - - Thanks. (doorbell ringing) - I'll get it. (sighs) (door clicking) (shimmering music) - Oh, wow. Conrad Pump, you made it. Here, right this way. (ominous music) [5:04](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=304) \- Conrad Pump, what an absolute pleasure. - We are truly honored to have you grace us with your presence in our home. Thank you, Conrad Pump. - I love your jacket. Your whole outfit is so elegant and effortless, like always. - Truly, your jacket is so incredible. It fits you so well. I mean, look at you. - I know. Look at you. - Look at him. - This party's going to be awesome. - Please make yourself comfortable. We have snacks, there's some ice water. Whatever you need, let us know. - I just can't get over this jacket. [5:34](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=334) I mean, look at him. - You're such a great man. (doorbell ringing) Oh, pardon me, Conrad Pump. I'll be right back. Conrad Pump. (Addison croaking) Addison, hi. I wasn't expecting you to be here. - Oh, I'm so glad that I could make it. (ominous music) [6:05](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=365) (upbeat rhythmic music) (upbeat rhythmic music continues) - What the hell is Addison doing here? - I don't know. She just showed up and she was already croaking. You didn't invite her on accident, did you? - No, I swear I didn't. You got to believe me. - Then who invited her? - What about Danny, that traitor? - Oh, Danny, you two-faced witch. And what about Addison? What does she want? Is she after our money? - Maybe she's after my marbles. - Or your rubber bands. - (sighs) All I know is that dipstick better not get between us and Conrad Pump. [7:21](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=441) \- Deal. (doorbell ringing) (door creaking) - Hi, can I help you? - We're here for the Halloween party. - Oh, sorry fellas, this is just a private event with a few close friends. - No, you're good. I read about it on the chauffeur forums online. Said to bring your own chauffeur, so here he is. In you go. (ominous music) [7:55](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=475) (Addison croaking) (party goers chattering) (ominous music) - \[Carter\] You've seen this video, right? - I don't think so. - Oh, you got to see it. - Oh, okay. (upbeat music on phone) - All of it. (upbeat music on phone) Keep watching. - \[Shannon\] Yeah. (upbeat music on phone) - Jill, we have a problem. - I do? - Yeah. I don't know how else to tell you this, but my coiler didn't flush down as expected. - Your coiler? - Yeah, my pythons usually slither right down, but your toiletry is atrocious. - I'll go tell Shannon. [8:51](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=531) \- Deal. - Hey, you look familiar. My name's Addison. You know, like the actor. God, what are you all about? Dig your vibration. And I love this jacket. (sniffs) Oh, it smells so good. (Addison croaking) I really want to get to know you a little bit better. Everyone here is so groty. (Addison exhales deeply) Thank God we're here or this party would be totally infected. Do you ever sail on boats? God, I love sailing. At least I think I would love sailing. I'd probably be pretty good at it, too. I just want to live life to the fullest, you know? [9:42](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=582) You know what I think? I think you're freaking incredible. (upbeat energetic music) (cheese balls rattling) - Hey, those are still good. - Oh, for the love of Pete. (cheese balls crunching) (vacuum whirring) (party goer yelling) - Oh, nuts. (party goer yelling) I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. (vacuum whirring) Now I got to face the music. (body dragging) (upbeat music) - Sorry, I'll have to finish watching this later. There's an emergency. - Thought that slut would've liked my video. Okay, you know the drill. Turn around. [10:54](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=654) (upbeat music) (party goers chattering) - Conrad Pump, is she bothering you? From the bottom of my heart, please accept my sincerest apologies. Addison, back off! Back off right now, you prick! He's mine! Attention, everyone! Cut the music! This party was supposed to be a fun little three keger blowout and a chance for me to spend time with Conrad Pump. I just wanted to get to know him a little better, and I wanted him to get to know me just a little bit. It was the perfect plan, but now it's ruined. - Sorry, Shannon, but there's been a terrible accident. [11:37](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=697) Some college boy got his face - - Shut up, Danny! You traitor! You're such an airhead! You and your stupid rules and your Eggos! Ladies and gentlemen, step right up. I give you the world's lamest dimwit. You're pathetic. - Guys, we have a situation in the bathroom. - Oh, freak. - Hey, I'm Traxton. I'm pretty handy with toilets. I can unclog any log no matter what the size. I'd be happy to help. Then maybe we can resume the party and I can get my groove on. - \[All Three\] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Traxton in the house. [12:13](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=733) (energetic music) (hands slapping) - Heck yeah, that's my stuff. Hey, what do you say? One more? - You bet. (hands slapping) - Yeah, that's how we do it. - So did you bring the nap thing? - Of course. - Did you bring the inflater? - You better believe it. - Do you mind if I take it for a test drive? - It would be my sincere stuff. (pump hissing) You got to keep going, man. This is my absolute stuff. (pump hissing) Yeah, don't stop. - Your pants are blowing up, man! - Yeah, this is my absolute stuff. (pump hissing) That's my stuff! [13:01](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=781) (both yelling) (object exploding) (eerie music) - So, Addison, how did you find out about our party anyway? - I read all about it on the chauffeur forums online. You can't hide from me. - What are you doing on the chauffer forums? - I check that site every day. Chauffeur talk is my stuff. - You're sick. - That makes two of us, worm. Oh, and I croaked all over your precious snacks. And you want to know what else? I even croaked on Conrad Pump. (Addison croaking) (ominous music) (ball bouncing) - (sighs) Hey, Jagger. [13:57](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=837) \- What's up? - Do you like believe in Zeus? (ball rattling) - I mean, I don't know if Zeus is like this grandpa, this almighty, powerful being watching us over in space, but yeah, I believe in Zeus. - That makes sense. But like, what do you think Zeus is then? Because I always thought that Zeus was like people, you know? Like the energy of people. Like we're Zeus. This ball is Zeus. You know what, like I mean? (ball bouncing) Ah, crap. - Well, no offense, but that's a really cool point. I've been praying a lot to Zeus lately, and if it works, it works. [14:42](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=882) (cup thudding lightly) - (sighs) I lost again. Zeus, damn it. (thunder rumbling) (guy in white and blue shirt choking) He said no offense. What's your problem? - Yeah, I just won. You should be stoked for me, man. - Oh, okay. He's hungry. There are snacks at the snack table. - Oh, right, there's food. I'm all over that. (guy in blue and white shirt choking) - Oh, he's choking on my ball. Oh, crap! (Oakley grunting) (ball flying) (both grunting) (object splattering) (body thudding) Oh, no. Where's my ball? - Yeah, get it. [15:30](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=930) Come on, you little freak. Yeah, put you back into it. Show me what you got, toilet boy. (Traxton grunts) (plunger impaling) Oh, fudge. Not like that. (ominous music) Hey, Larry, I'm just going to walk home tonight, you dig? (candy rattling) - Hey, man, are you okay? (electricity crackling) (Jagger grunting) (ominous music) - Huh. (door clicking) That's weird. (door clicking) (dramatic music) They're all dead. Jill, Danny! - You rang? - What's cracking? - Well, we seem to be having a dead body problem because they're piling up all over the house. [16:30](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=990) \- Well, duh, Shannon. That what I've been trying to tell you guys. You've been so obsessed with Conrad Pump, you haven't even noticed. You've become blind by your greed and ambition. Parties are about more than impressing sexy men. They're about living in the moment and noticing dead bodies. - Well, you're so obsessed with your ridiculous Eggos, I'm surprised that you notice anything. - Guys, stop fighting. We're a family. - Do you guys know where Ethan is? I haven't seen him anywhere. - No, I haven't seen him since the python incident. [17:04](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1024) \- Hey, Larry, have you seen Ethan anywhere? (phone ringing) - What kind of freak would call at this hour? - Well, pick it up. - Fine. (phone beeping) What? Everyone quiet. It's mom and dad. Yeah, mom. Sounds great. - Well, what'd she say? - Dad got jacked in the Amazon and mom caught it from him, so they're coming back early. They just landed at the airport and they're on the way home right now. - Oh, shoot. We're so hosed. - \[All\] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (all exclaiming) (Coco smooching) (all exclaiming) [18:00](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1080) \- Everybody cool it! Listen up. We need to get everything back to how it was before mom and dad get back. Coco, Carter, hide all the dead bodies in Danny's jockstrap closet. Addison and Danny, you're on blood cleanup. Use Coco's diapers. They're in his backpack. Larry, Oakley, we need to get rid of all of this food, so start eating it. Eat, eat, eat. Jill, return these tapes to Video Hut. They're overdue. - "Yentl" and "Prints of Tides"? - Yeah, "Tides" was good, but "Yentl" was a bit farfetched. Everybody else, make yourself useful. [18:30](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1110) Conrad Pump, just sit back and relax. And if you need anyone to top off your drink, just let one of our crew members know, okay? Go, go, go. (pretzels crunching) - Oh no. Are these pretzels? Answer me! Are these pretzels? I'm allergic to pretzels. (Oakley coughing) (Oakley choking) (Oakley gasping) (Larry crunching pretzels) - This body won't budge. (Carter and Coco grunting) (object impaling) - (grunts) I hit my head and my balls fell out! - Coco, no! - (sighs) These diapers are not absorbing. Are these name brand diapers? [19:33](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1173) \- Damn it, Coco. Why'd you get the cheap ones? - Coco dead. (door knob rattling) - Hey, I got new titles from Video Hut. "Look Who's Talking Now" and "Emmanuelle in Bangkok". - Oh, fantastic. Put those on the hutch. Everyone else, mom and dad will be here any second. Keep moving. (door knob creaking) - Hey kids, we're home. - What the fuck is all this shit? - We can explain. - Hey, how was the trip? How was the Amazon? - The trip? Well, as you can see, we both, unfortunately, got jacked. - Yeah, and luckily we got here just in time to witness this. [20:23](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1223) \- Daddy, we are so sorry. - Don't be sorry. We love parties. - Yes, especially with all this vibrant culture and diversity. - And the chauffeurs, amazing. - So you're not mad? - Oh, sweetheart, we love you. We couldn't be mad at you. - But what about the dead people? - Oh, wow. You're right. That is a lot of stiffs. - No matter what we do, people keep dying and we can't clean it up. - Wait a second, Danny. That pendant, I recognize it from Amazon. It's cursed. - You saw that pendant in the Amazon? - No, no. On Amazon, the online marketplace. [21:11](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1271) I was looking for a cursed pendant so I could get into some trouble with your mom on Halloween. - The party is cursed because of that pendant. - But Mom, what are we supposed to do? - The only way to break the curse is for its bearer to do a rave dance. - Rave as in rave reviews, like a dance that's critically acclaimed? - No, fool. By rave, I mean drum and bass. - Oh crap, we don't have that. - Boy, did somebody say drum and bass? The name's BF Wellington and I'm a world renowned DJ, isn't it? I play all over South Asia and Malaysia. [21:53](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1313) I came up spinning oil court rage in London and I brought the house down at the Hacienda in Manchester. Bloody legendary, man. - Whoa. - But there's absolutely no time to lose. I need two decks immediately. - Jill, get the decks. (ominous music) - Are you sure you can do the rave dance, Danny? You're our only hope to save the party. - I've been training for this my whole day. Hit it Wellington. (upbeat music) ♪ Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, bro ♪ ♪ Ah hell no ♪ ♪ Suck my (farting noise) ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Dad ♪ ♪ What ♪ ♪ Dad, dad ♪ ♪ What ♪ ♪ Suck my - ♪ ♪ Mummy ♪ ♪ That's what hoes do ♪ ♪ Penis ♪ ♪ Daddy ♪ (upbeat music) - Danny, it's working! [22:52](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1372) \- Keep dancing, keep dancing. (upbeat music) (ominous music) (Danny thudding) (whimsical music) - The curse is broken. - \[All\] Yeah! (all clapping) (Shannon laughing) - Wait a second everybody. Danny! He's not responding. What do we do? - Give him CPR. (Shannon kissing) - Let me try. I'm Traxton, by the way. You know, the toilet boy? (Traxton blowing) - Here, let me get in there. Come on, Danny. Breathe. Come on, baby. One 1000, two 1000. Please, Danny, you can do this. Three, 1000. - Hey, hey, hey, Addison. It's over. [24:12](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1452) He's gone. - He's dead? Well, he was a good son. - No, no! Come on, Danny! Breathe! Danny, you bitch! You never backed away from anything in your life! Now breathe! Fight, fight, fight! Do it right now! Fight, fight, fight! Now! (Addison yelling) (Danny choking) Oh, yes, baby. Yes, you got it. - He's alive? - Hi, hi. - Nice. (Shannon laughing) - You did it. - Addison, on behalf of Danny and the rest of our family, we are so sorry we didn't invite you to our party. We were so focused on impressing Conrad Pump. You saved Danny's life, and that's something we'll never forget. [25:11](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1511) Meanwhile, Conrad Pump just sat there doing his signature look. He's lame. How could we be so stupid? Addison, will you ever forgive us? (Addison croaking) (all laughing) (cheerful music) (all continue laughing) [26:02](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/the-smosh-halloween-special/transcript?t=1562) (grandiose music) (objects rattling) (ominous music) ## Questions about this episode ### Who speaks in "The Smosh Halloween Special"? Danny (Host), Jill (Guest), Shannon, Addison (Guest), Conrad Pump (Guest), Larry, Traxton, Jagger. ### What is "The Smosh Halloween Special" about? In this darkly comic setup, two siblings plot a Halloween party fueled by mischief, social climbing, and edgy fantasies, while navigating parental absence and a tense dynamic with a mysterious figure named Conrad Pump. The tension escalates as they push boundaries around party rules, safety, and reputations. ### What is mentioned in this Smosh episode? 16 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Danny, Addison, Conrad Pump, Jill, BF Wellington, Traxton. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it. ### How long is "The Smosh Halloween Special"? The episode runs 27 min; the transcript is about 3,011 words in 33 timestamped sections. ## More from Smosh - [All analyzed episodes](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh) - [Books mentioned on Smosh](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/books) - [People mentioned on Smosh](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/guests) - [Topics mentioned on Smosh](https://reclip.me/podcast/smosh/topics) About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 10, 2026.