Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk

Who speaks in this episode?

• Jeremy Delk (Guest) · 32 min speaking
• Unknown (Host of The Proven Podcast) (Host) · 30 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Inc. 500, Wall Street, Bargetown, Kentucky, Caribbean
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Del Enterprises, hospice, Impostor Syndrome, Wall Street
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Russia
4. 30:00 – 40:00: United States (states), Lithium, Middle East, Real estate
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Inc. 500, New York City, New York, Real estate, St. Barts
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Bill Perkins, Die With Zero, Fight Club, University of Kentucky
7. 1:00:00 – 1:02:09: Audible, Barnes & Noble, jeremyulk.com

Notable quotes from "Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk"

• Failure is actually your fastest path to fortune. This serial entrepreneur built two Inc. 500 companies within four years and has taken companies both public and private. But his secret weapon isn't avoiding mistakes, it's leveraging them.

  about Inc. 500 · at 0:05

• Opportunities industry agnostic a lot in healthcare have had a lot of success in real estate as well. So, we've got some really cool properties down in the Caribbean and some…

  about Real estate · at 1:09

• We lived in Louisville, which is a bigger city. before that, my dad unfortunately passed away when I was young. So, we passed away when I was seven. and he, was a.

  about Louisville · at 2:00

• An inheritance at 30 grand when I was turning 17. and that started my career on Wall Street and I started day trading and I had massive success and a massive failure very early at age 20.

  about Wall Street · at 3:11

• Different reasons. you ran into a little bit of a different one and then I spent eight years in hospice watching people die. People don't understand how motivating that is to…

  about hospice · at 5:09

• You're going to delay fixing the damn thing there's this thing in Judaism which I'm not religious in any way shape or form it's called shiva which means if someone dies you got a week yeah and you're not allowed to do.

  about Judaism · at 6:22

• Just look at the data this is the last decade for China. This is the last decade for Russia. This is the last decade for Germany. This is the last decade for Italy. It's…

  about Russia · at 29:40

• Come back on a high level because we're going to need that, especially here in the United States as United States, because we've had nine presidential elections that have…

  about United States (states) · at 33:39

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Jeremy Delulk — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:03
  Welcome to the proven podcast where it does not matter what you think, only what you can prove. Jeremy Delulk proves failure is actually your fastest path to fortune. This…
• Bill Perkins — Person · 1 mention · first at 54:21
  Worked at 55 like why not like there's a great book that a friend of mine wrote Bill Perkins I'll die with zero and it's literally just about like you know give the kids the…
• Peter Zeihan — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• The Singularity Is Near — Book · 1 mention · first at 35:37
  Curtzwell, Ray Curtzwell. So, it's a good book old book. It's called The Singularity is near and like that's the idea like the whole idea of like you know when man and robot kind of combine and that humanoid type of thing.
• Fight Club — Book · 1 mention · first at 50:16
  Have no idea who they are and they don't, there's this great line from the movie The Fight Club says, You're not your [ __ ] khakis.
• Die With Zero — Book · 1 mention · first at 54:23
  Why not like there's a great book that a friend of mine wrote Bill Perkins I'll die with zero and it's literally just about like you know give the kids the money now donate to…
• Without a Plan — Book · 1 mention · first at 59:58
  And like I wrote a book without called without a plan and like it pisses my staff off. But like what you said is 100% right. I don't go into I don't prep for meetings. I'm not unprepared, but I don't prep and like this is how it's.

Companies & orgs

• Inc. 500 — Company · 3 mentions · first at 0:11
• Fidelity Investments — Company · 1 mention · first at 9:10
  Conversation to my future boss at Fidelity to make me the youngest trader in Fidelity Investments history, right?
• Series 7 license — Company · 1 mention · first at 9:12
  Was pretty cool. Series 7 license and before I even graduated college and it was because I was this young cocky kid, but I had a lot of market knowledge and depth and that was very.
• Del Enterprises — Company · 1 mention · first at 10:22
  In Wall Street and going to all these things. So when I it was a time for me to start Del Enterprises and I left my highpaying job which my mom thought I was crazy for. Like…
• University of Kentucky — Company · 1 mention · first at 58:00
  That a study there's a thing I know happens at all law schools. I know it happens at University of Kentucky here.
• jeremyulk.com — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:01:01
  So I'm Jeremy Estelk on all socials. jeremyulk.com. check out the book.
• Barnes & Noble — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:01:04
  It's on Audible and Barnes & Noble, Amazon, wherever you get books. And yeah, reach out. jeremyuck.com. You can go book a discovery call and you got a really interesting business idea,.
• Sears — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Lithium — Product · 1 mention · first at 30:33
  Get back to your question. When you look at EVs take over, you need four times the amount of lithium that's ever been mined out of the world in order to make that accomplished.…
• Audible — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:01:04
  It's on Audible and Barnes & Noble, Amazon, wherever you get books. And yeah, reach out. jeremyuck.com. You can go book a discovery call and you got a really interesting business idea,.
• EVs — Product · 1 mention
• LLM — Product · 1 mention
• Zelda — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• Real estate — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 1:15
• hospice — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 5:12
• Judaism — Concept · 1 mention · first at 6:24
• Impostor Syndrome — Concept · 1 mention · first at 15:08
  Follow it for myself. That happens all the time. this idea of imposter syndrome there. There's I've been on this stick more times than I can possibly tell you. Every time I…
• Forex — Concept · 1 mention
• Japanese American internment — Concept · 1 mention
• Shiva — Concept · 1 mention
• TBI — Concept · 1 mention
• United States Bill of Rights — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Wall Street — Place · 3 mentions · first at 3:16
• Russia — Place · 2 mentions · first at 29:44
• United States (states) — Place · 2 mentions · first at 33:42
• Caribbean — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:18
  Success in real estate as well. So, we've got some really cool properties down in the Caribbean and some commercial conversions to reszi in the States. So, yeah, so investor…
• Lexington — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:49
  Not silver spoon. So, I'm I'm from Kentucky. I'm I'm talking to you from Lexington today. But I grew up about an hour away called town called Bargetown, Kentucky, which is like…
• Bargetown, Kentucky — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:53
  Lexington today. But I grew up about an hour away called town called Bargetown, Kentucky, which is like the bourbon capital of the world. So, super small population. we moved there actually in when I was in fourth grade.
• Louisville — Place · 1 mention · first at 2:00
• Middle East — Place · 1 mention · first at 30:08
  This on this level, Yeah. So when you look at this, like right now, we get less than 4% of our oil from the Middle East. Period. We get less than 4%.
• New York City, New York — Place · 1 mention · first at 45:15
  Yeah. I had a buddy we were doing business. This was in I was in New York City still and he had a line that the only difference between money and not is where you go, how you get there and where you stay when you arrive.
• St. Barts — Place · 1 mention · first at 45:33
  Are you driving the kids in the [ __ ] in a car going back through? Are you taking a PJ to you know St. Barts with I mean and then staying at a rental that's it where you going…
• China — Place · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Welcome to the proven podcast where it does not matter what you think, only what you can prove. Jeremy Delulk proves failure is actually your fastest path to fortune. This serial entrepreneur built two Inc. 500 companies within four years and has taken companies both public and private. But his secret weapon isn't avoiding mistakes, it's leveraging them. The show starts now. All right, everybody. Welcome back. I'm excited about bringing Jeremy on for this one. We're going to talk about success and failure. some of the things that I talk about all the time, which is the only way to succeed is to fail. Uh you're one of those people that do it better than anyone I know. So, welcome to the show.

0:33 No, thanks so much, man. I'm excited to be here. So, for the people who don't know who you are and let's talk about your success first and then we'll talk about the all the failures and all the things that got you to that way. So, tell me why, you know, what makes you unbelievably successful.

0:47 Yeah. So, um you know, the the CV business card, right? The you know, two Inc. 500 companies. Uh 24th fastest growing um was the first one and then I think this last one was like 120th uh fastest growing companies, two different businesses inside of four years which is uh which is pretty cool. Uh taking companies public, taking them private um we invest in venture capital opportunities um industry agnostic um a lot in healthcare uh have had a lot of success in real estate as well. So, we've got some really cool properties down in the Caribbean and some commercial conversions to reszi in the States. So, um yeah, so investor uh venture capitalist and and I speak a little bit and do some podcasts uh like this and yeah, that's that's me.

1:32 So, I'm curious, did you start out successful? Like what was your background growing up? Did you were you just born with a silver spoon and money came out of your or did your dad give you a million dollars to start your empire? Where are you?

1:43 Um I wish no. Um so so no. So definitely not silver spoon. So, I'm I'm from Kentucky. I'm I'm talking to you from Lexington uh today. But I grew up about an hour away called uh town called Bargetown, Kentucky, which is like the bourbon capital of the world. So, super small population. Um we moved there actually in when I was in fourth grade. We lived in Louisville, which is a bigger city. Um before that, um my dad unfortunately passed away when I was young. So, we passed away when I was seven. Um and he, you know, was a mechanic and job entrepreneur but had like his own little little thing. And um I always talk about uh this a lot. You know, you could talk about stability um but you can't teach a kid stability and it's hard for them to understand it, right? Cuz it's like oxygen. It's like omnipresent like are we stable not? Is there enough oxygen in the room? Like that type of thing. Um but you can

2:30 really um feel instability. So, um, it was definitely the opposite of silver. I mean, like we had like a family that loved us and and you know, friends and like, you know, aunts and uncles and all that that nuclear family and then all of a sudden just went went away. So, you you have the loss and that's a whole thought we can dive and understand like how how you deal with loss and grief and all those things, but that's one piece, but it's really the ripple effect that you don't really um think about that happens after. So it went from like the the three bed, you know, two and a half bath house to a smaller house to an apartment to a shittier apartment. So like that's those levels. So I think um no was not always successful. Um I I got an inheritance at 30 grand when I was uh turning 17. Um and that started my career on Wall Street and I started day trading and I had massive success and a

3:20 massive failure very early at at age 20. Um but I think the drive for me um came out of really two two main um viewpoints I guess. One is understanding cognizantly like hey um it sucks not having resources cuz that's what we were in like besides grieving all that stuff like now my mom had to go to work and like we have to figure out have aunts and babysitters who can help you know look after two kids a seven-year-old and a 2-year-old um for a young single mother now. So like that was like okay that was a resource or lack of resource problem [ __ ] let's fix that [ __ ] and make a lot of money right so I think that was like the the the the motivation piece and I think the other which unfortunately you know I I had experienced at a young age um a very hard lesson that we all learn that we're not promised tomorrow. So, I think that's probably that drive and then like the determination point of like let's

4:13 just go and take action is probably from that cuz like dude we don't know like who knows after this podcast what happens god forbid right so I think you just got to seize every moment every opportunity and you know look at it as a blessing every day you get to wake up yeah I agree people talk about this all the time about being able to succeed your way to success or fail your way to your success and I always talk about with a child if you know because you've got little ones if you're sitting there when your little one was first learning how to walk and maybe the first 10 times she fell and you know she landed on her tush and it didn't work out so well. I know you just like every other parent was like you know what she's never going to walk. We're going to buy her a wheelchair that's going to be the end of it. Doesn't make any sense at all. We sit down and we teach our kids from a very like just keep doing it. You're

4:53 going to learn how to walk. It's just unacceptable to give up. And I think for a lot of people they expect that every time they go up to bat they're going to hit against them. Every time they're going to hit a home run and they're going to crush it. And that's just not the reality we're we're brought into. You know I very similar to you. I did not I came from a broken home for different reasons. You know, you uh ran into a little bit of a different one and then I spent eight years in hospice watching people die. People don't understand how motivating that is to really get going. And I am grateful all the struggles and all the failures because that's what's made me successful. And there's a lot of people right now who are listening going what you you know you're you're grateful for all this pain. I wasn't grateful at the time that it was time. I was like this sucks. I really don't want this. I would

5:33 have it the other way. Yeah. No, it's it's so true. And it's and it's hard to take and learn the lesson in the moment. That's why I tell people like it's okay. You don't have to like, you know, be some fake person that has like some tragedy like, okay, it's all great. Like this is meant to be. Like it's okay to like grieve and like when when I, you know, lost 2 million bucks in 4 days, like I drank myself, you know, to bed every morning, woke up, I mean, it was like for like 4 days and, you know, I was like, "Okay, this ain't [ __ ] fixing it, right?" So like like so so now it's more of like all right buddy like cry do it then get yourself through it but just hurry up whatever you scream punch a wall just go through because once you realize that none of that's [ __ ] productive right it's okay to do it but just don't dwell on it and be cognizant enough like it it just the more you do that is the longer

6:22 you're going to delay fixing the damn thing there's this thing in in Judaism which I'm not religious in any way shape or form it's called shiva which means if someone dies you got a week

6:31 yeah and you're not allowed to do anything and everyone shows up and they feed you and other than wiping your tas they they do everything for you and then after the week they're like all right now let's go let's get back to it let's get so I think there is value in that but you've talked about some big hits and how to go through it you know you you've lost the parent you've lost a ton of cash you've you know you've run through these hurdles and done these things can you kind of give some people more ideas and dive into those a little bit deeper so that people can understand what loss and failure looks like and then obviously because we've just heard We heard the the CV side, right? Like, hey, fast is growing and I've done this and I traded and I make all this money and blah blah blah.

7:08 Yeah. People always see the end. They don't see the process. They always see how the cake the end result of the cake. They don't show the years it took to learn how to build make that cake. So, if you could share some of the trials and tribulations.

7:18 Yeah. It's, you know, I always say I'm an overnight success 25 years in the making, right? And and even when I'm coaching, that's, you know, when I'm coaching clients and talking to them about like what's going on with their challenges, it's not like I'm that smart and I've just read every book and I have all the [ __ ] answers. All the answers I have um are, you know, product of my environment and my experiences and and a lot of the the the lessons you really learn that you really keep are the ones that should get your ass kicked and the failures. Like that's the that's the piece. You don't it's hard to learn from the success because you're just patting yourself on the back. I'm [ __ ] great thing. Let's face it, most things including me and you, there's a massive amount of luck. Now, I would agree that, you know, you make yourself more lucky by the more, you know, reps you're doing, the more things like that you

8:02 like luck finds you. I think that that's that's a piece, but it's just doing the actions kind of going through and then understanding it. So, I think the first big lesson is, you know, I wasn't I told you I was drinking for 4 days, you know, in my townhouse that I bought as a college freshman when I lost all that money. Um, and I didn't see the lesson other than, you know, probably two or three years later. Um, when well, first lesson was I was day trading. Uh, lost all that money and but I had a condo. I had all these expenses. So, I I had I had a choice. I could like pack it in and go home with my mom or like figure it out, buddy, and buck up. So, switched to night school and started doing things.

8:40 And through I talk about this in the book, but through a series of odd jobs, like all of that self-taught chaos, but I was so entrenched in the market, I I learned a lot was like a little bit of a a tool that you kind of pick up. So, think of it like as a you played Zelda or playing a legend game or something. It's like another little thing that you pick up on your journey that's going to be valuable to you that you don't maybe know it, but whatever. It's like, hey, I'm a massive failure. I lost all this money. But that led me to have a conversation to my future boss at Fidelity to make me the youngest trader in Fidelity Investments history, right?

9:12 Um, was pretty cool. Series 7 license and before I even graduated college and it was because I was this young cocky kid, but I I had a lot of market knowledge and depth and that was very impressive. I could kind of go through and do it. So like that was like one thing you don't ever know how one experience is going to lead to it. And you know, one of my I talk about in the book, my early dreams was to kind of make it to New York and that's what took me there was end up going to Wall Street. The bigger lesson and I think this is what people forget about with loss um or failure is you know you set shiva for 5 days or you know whatever whatever whatever the time period is or 7 days like the 3 days of me drinking for four after we go through it like we want to block that [ __ ] out cuz like our humans are so as we're innately self-protective like [ __ ] that [ __ ] sucked let's not let's not think about

10:00 that and I'm definitely not one to look at life in the rear view but you need to look at those lessons and understand the strength that you have inside is [ __ ] massive cuz I was the biggest and everyone you're listening to the same thing. I I was the biggest failure ever and I lost $2 million. But then I got through it and I ended up getting a job in Wall Street and going to all these things. So when I it was a time for me to start Del Enterprises and I left my highpaying job which my mom thought I was crazy for. Like dude you just [ __ ] you just saved yourself. What the [ __ ] wrong with you? But it was the courage and I asked myself one simple question. Is there a model or a scenario that if I go out and start my own company that I will lose $2 million in four days? And the answer was no.

10:41 There was no there was no path for me to a little hard to do that. Yeah. So, so if I don't do that and I [ __ ] got through it, what's the worst that can happen? I can always go back and kind of go so you use that as the fuel and the energy and really the courage to kind of all right, let's go through and take that next step because the fear is all internal

10:58 100%. It's all what we're telling ourselves that negative selft talk. I think that's the the big the big driving piece.

11:05 Yeah. And I I think when you're talking about loss and you're talking about failures, you know, you've been around death intimately in your family. I've lost members of my family and I've been around death immensely. Understanding that you dive into it and you don't live in it every single day, but you don't wash it away. It's something that you always tap into. It's something that always comes in. It's always top of mind because there's always a lesson in that. And there's this whole idea that if what you resist persists, and there's times where I am just not firing all four cylinders. Well, sometimes six, but you know, I'm just as I get older, I lose cylinders. But, you know, as we go into that ball game where I'm just not firing and there's part of me that just wants to scream and yell and say, "You're a failure." And all that and I will jump into it and I will sit down and I will, for lack of a better term, feed that

11:45 wolf. And I'm like, "Okay, what's going on? Where am I failure? Where am I? Where do I suck? What have I done?" Because it's probably trying to tell me something. It's probably saying, "Hey, you're not prepared for this. You're not prepared for that." So, when someone's going through these, there's very specific tactics and questions I use when you're going through these type of loss. Let's go with the the basic financial loss and and we talked about this before that you're not an entrepreneur until you've lost your first million. Just when you lose your first million, you're like, "No, welcome to the club. Wait till you

12:09 Okay. Then once you lose your first eight, then wait till you lose your first 80." That's entrepreneurship and society's made it all sexy.

12:17 Yeah. Wait till you lose your first million. You're like, "Oh, welcome to the club." Yes. Hello. It just it is what it is. It's going to happen as entrepreneurs. And

12:24 it it's I I've been ridden I've rode motorcycles for years. We always talk about it. You're either in the process. There's only two type of writers. People have gone down or people going down. That's it. If you haven't gone down yet, you will soon. Don't worry about it. If you haven't lost your first million, don't worry. You will soon. You will lose it from family betrayal, from partner betrayal, from bad business deals, for you will lose it. Just be to understand that's part of the process. It is what it is. Just like we talked about the baby falling down and busting our butt,

12:49 what are some of the questions you immediately address when you're like, "Okay, I'm in a place where I'm spinning out. I'm I completely don't think I'm enough. I'm completely failed." what are the ways that you go through?

12:58 So, the first thing I I I try to do is find the humor in in a bad thing. Um, and I turn it into a curiosity. So, like you most people dwell on the thing. I just got like a bill for a million like I don't know one pointing 1.7 million for a project. Like it's more than I thought. Like that sucks. But like okay, I can just keep staring at it. The numbers aren't going to change. I keep like, "Wow, what am I like?" And then like, "Oh, what am I going to do?" And like you can just go down that path or you just like, "All right, well, whatever." Like, it's that sucks. It's it'll be interesting how this works out. And then like you just find it like I mean the secret to being in business is just staying in business.

13:39 Like stay alive one more day. One more day in business. Cuz you know how things happen. Like oh my gosh, like oh I've got nothing. And then all of a sudden like literally this happened to me. This happened to me uh um two weeks ago. I one of the businesses we invested in um I see the bank account so I don't really pay attention and you know he wasn't doing a ton and he's changed his business model a little bit and like I kind of literally was about to kind of have a conversation about like hey let's just probably write this business off or I'll sell my equity back for a little bit whatever and he's like hey um you just confirm your wire uh your bank details I'm like why he's like I got 100,000 I'm wiring you for I'm like oh yes I can I can so like you just don't know what we're going to go through so I I turned it into the curiosity of like this is going to be funny. This will be interesting how it works out and then it

14:24 does and that's that's kind of how how it is. So you turn that in and that curiosity that's how I look at business and investments. I'm a constant learner and I'm genuinely curious and like to create and understand and have those breakthroughs. That's why coaching is so much fun for me cuz like you know I do it for myself but seeing people have those big breakthroughs of like it just it's magic. You see that you're like ah let's now now let's go. And it's really them that are doing it. So, you're just helping them ask those questions and process it a bit.

14:52 It's funny as because I've coached for years and help strategize and scale companies. Everyone thinks that you're coaching your client. You're not. You're coaching you. You just happen to be coaching you the whole time and they're like, "Oh, this is great advice." I'm like, "Yes, that is great advice. I follow it for myself." That happens all the time. You know, this idea of imposter syndrome there. There's I've been on this stick more times than I can possibly tell you. Every time I walk out, I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ] I Why are they listening to me?" Because there's always that little fear, right? That's the imposter in the back going. I'm just this poor kid from Halia. What am I doing? Why am I here? So, staying curious is important, but when you deal with loss specifically and and we're going to get a little dark here, but when you deal with death on a high level, especially at such a young age,

15:30 uh I found ways to go through it because I was exposed from first the stranger side because I just watched it so much at hospice and then when I was actually one of my family members died. I know there's certain things that I've learned that I'll speak about in a second, but what are the things that, you know, when you have death hit you on such an intense level when it was your father, what are the ways that now that's that's changed you, but also that you can process that because there's people going through massive loss.

15:53 Yeah. Well, I mean, the I mean, the way I actually process it was I mean, you know, probably I'm mid6 figures of a lot of a lot of therapy because I didn't I I I tell you how not to do it. like I I I did it um you know this actually I think it's a great good question cuz I I don't think I've been asked to that that specificity. So, what a natural instinct to do. Um, at least what I did was what's the best way to not get hurt again, right? Like that was the thought, right? Like how do you how do you not get hurt? So, it goes in this like mass like self-p protection mode. And I did that [ __ ] very successfully for years. The trick and I can everyone write this down. Um, just have no actual real connection in your life. That's that that's and and you're good. you will never ever get hurt. Ever ever just that that's the answer and that's what I was doing. So like what so I I would have drinking or I go you know

16:50 party whatever some people like drink cuz they're upset or like want to forget like I would drink to almost feel like I wouldn't allow myself to actually feel because like that [ __ ] sucks like let's just not feel it. So it was when like as opposed like people drink I was like more like losing inhibitions to let me be vulnerable. So I think that's the the piece. So You have to look at it as nothing is happening to you or for you. Like this is a process is a natural thing just like going you're either down or going down, right? We are all headed to the same place, right? Different times of checkout, but we're all headed to the same place.

17:28 So once you get comfortable with that, then I think you have to look at the same thing. Just like a bad business thing, it didn't happen to you like my my dad dying wasn't my fault, right? But there was a period of time

17:39 you absolutely thought it was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. So, I think that's the that's the that's the way to to look at like, hey, understand this is a natural thing. Understand that your feelings are um okay, and it's okay to experience them, but like don't let them define you from from that piece. And again, I was obviously joking about not having a meaningful relationship. But my therapist actually said this to me, and it was it was the most genius aha thing cuz I was like fighting. I'm like, dude, no, I'm good. Like, I can love people. I can be nice. I can do that. But like don't want to get too close or be too vulnerable cuz then that hurt. So um the way she framed it for me which was just like wow ton of bricks was like this is a dark but like okay you've got a kid I've got three kids. You've got children. Imagine God forbid something was going to happen to one of your kids in two years three what whatever that

18:34 whatever the event is. And it's certain like it's going to happen like it's a medical thing, it's a accident, whatever, and they're no longer with you like you know that's going to happen. So by your logic, Jeremy, should you now stop loving your kid or or like slow like yeah, it blows your mind cuz like of course not. But that's what you're saying if you don't want to have a meaningful, you know, relationship. So I think that's the um that's the piece of like of course that that's asinine. So you would never do that. So you have to take that preposterous example to look back and like no let's just have let's be vulnerable. Let's have deep connections and understand that all you can do is control what you can control and that's you're who you love how how you love who you are your character all those things. And once you get comfortable with hey who you are as a person and you're like you're that

19:25 you're happy you love yourself you're happy with yourself then you can start loving others and go from there.

19:31 Right. I I I love that, you know, you got individuals who are very very successful and it's be it's still going against the grain a little bit to talk about it, but how powerful therapy is. And I've been I think therapy is the gift you give yourself. And I very similar to you. I was an individual was like, "Hey, I got hurt. I'm never going to let someone else in. I'm going to build these walls." And walls are great. They're very good at keeping people out,

19:52 but they're also very good at locking you in. And you isolate. and learning through my own ways and my own path through therapy of going uh you know that we are worthy of love you know because the equation is really simple everyone thinks it's if I do this I'll be enough and if I'm enough I'll be worthy of love and that's just a cliche shite it's complete and utter garbage because if you think about the person in your life that you love the most and you ask yourself what does that person have to do to be worthy of my love what do they have to you know or or else the answer is nothing but then when you reverse it and say okay what do I have to do to be and then you'll create this laundry list as soon as you can break that pattern, life gets really easy. Um, and so I love that you're you're strong enough to share about therapy. One of the things that I ran into with therapy was how fast therapists are to label

20:36 you. How fast they're going to say, "Hey, you're a this, you're a that, you're a this." And how fast I wanted to have those as well. Like, oh yeah, this I am this. Because then I had an exit strategy. I'm like, "Oh, yes. I am this type of person. You can't blame me anymore. I've got my escape." Versus, "Shit, I need to work on my stuff. I need honesty." Because until you until you embrace radical forgiveness, until you look in the mirror and say, "Hey, you know what? There are people out there who genuinely and authentically want to love you as you are and you don't have to change the ball game, that is a hard thing to do because you're just going to hurt a ton of people." And that's a hard lesson to learn because you're going to push away some of the greatest gifts that you've ever had in your life. And I can, you know, for those of you are watching the video, you can see on Jeremy's face,

21:14 he's experienced that as well. We all done that. We have lost people who we desperately wish we did not lose. So, if you haven't gone through therapy, um, do it now. Just it's it's it's a gift you give yourself. What are the other than the lessons she gave you, what are some of the other lessons as you as you've gone through therapy and as you've gone through loss? Because that's really what this is about. How to survive failures, how to survive loss and become successful. What is another one that just immediately just smacks you in the face. You're like, "Oh, wow. That Okay."

21:42 Yeah. So, I went through a really bad divorce and like that was that was like I was I was doing therapy like intense like

21:47 twoour sessions every day. It was like some deep [ __ ] was going through cuz I was like go figure obsessive entrepreneur life. Let's just solve it. Like let's just [ __ ]

21:56 let's just [ __ ] I can't wait a week for this. Let's [ __ ] hamburger go. I probably would have done 8 hour days if she would have loved me but it probably wasn't healthy. But um I struggled a lot um with cuz to me a divorce was a pretty big ultimate failure. Like I mean like big like you you are you like that's like I was so I struggled um if I'm honest with like what are people going to say and think right that was like partly it bigger the longest what took the longest was um my kids like cuz every you've heard this so many times like parents get divorced when the kids go to college and like the kids say like dude why the [ __ ] didn't you do that earlier like we cuz they see you miser but but you know that, right? So, so I was really struggling with that. So, the two things that she told me because my ex-wife and I, we didn't have like we weren't like fighting or yelling. There was never

22:51 talks, but there was just no love or no true connection. So, I've got, you know, three kids, boy, girl, boy. And she just another thing that was just like dropped the bomb on me like you like what your kids see, especially your daughter,

23:08 how they see your relationship with your spouse. Mhm. Is the exact thing they're going to emulate,

23:16 right? Absolutely. Like if if you have a if that's that's the example you want to set and that's like a loveless non-passion joking like I had my wife and I had a water fight last [ __ ] week and like I mean like that kind of playfulness is it can it's contagious. You see it on the kids and they're kind of going through. So so that that kind of reassured me on on that piece and like now and I I talk about some stories in the book that really get me choked up of like you know it was the right decision cuz like you can see your kids like so much happier. So that's number one. But then the the the secondary piece was like what are people going to say? And it was through that breakthrough that really I think set me free. And I talk about all the time is she like and I say what I say is like um no one cares about you. And that seems harsh but like they don't they don't they you know what they care about is

24:05 the [ __ ] selves and like yes you're divorced and you're people know you okay? it it'll be a thing for a few days or a week, but then like it go like the new cycle 247. It just it just it cycles through so quickly. And you're right and and it does. So that that and I I talk about that now in coaching. So like yeah, that was my my fear of like, oh, what are people going to say? And I I never looked at it in business cuz I always had such confidence in business that you could you can't beat me. You [ __ ] just can't I work you can't kill me. Like I just won't I'm relentless.

24:39 you cannot beat me in business. So I never saw it because I never like if I offended this I'm like I don't give a [ __ ] like I'm just doing me. So I never saw that piece from a very of what do people think what what will people say until that piece but it's actually helped me in business as well when you kind of like hey like I'm doing my right thing. This is my north star. I I'm I'm I know I'm doing this the right for the right reasons and that's it. And you're okay with it. Who cares?

25:02 And I also think there's going to be times you're going to miss your north star. None of us are perfect. Some of our times our characters are going to fail. are not going to do what we, you know, the ideal version of us would do. We're going to misfire and that that's okay, too. And just having honor with it. We talked about it in the beginning of this where it's like if you haven't lost a million dollars yet, then yeah, we're probably not going to be doing business together. Just this is the reality and we we expect the fails. I I would rather hire the person that just lost everything and completely screws up and learn how to come back from that than the person who's never done that because they come back stronger and we do it in business versus anywhere else.

25:33 You know, I I I don't know if we talked um I don't know if we talked about this in the green room or not, but like yeah, 100%. Like whenever I'm interviewing um and getting pitched deals, like especially these days, like later in my life, like it's very rare I will invest in someone that hasn't went through a cycle, right? Like you just get some SC like you you want some grit like you you you want you want that. Like that's super super important,

25:56 especially where the economy is going now. You know, it's it we're going to have some bumps. People, it is what it is. no matter what happens, no matter who whatever soap opera, be it's the left or the right, whatever you're listening to, we're going to have some bumps and being able to handle that so important.

26:10 I I I'm going throw you for a um a big open-ended question, but we were just having a dialogue last night. Um, we had a big barrel pick of some really cool fancy bourbon at at some buddies and just great conversation with some good guys and like yeah, probably drink too much bourbon, but it's really really good conversation

26:28 and I'd love to get your thoughts on um where is the future in the next 5 to 10 years um with what's coming with with AI, right? I mean, I'm we we use AI. We've spent a lot of money in AI. We've invested a lot in AI. We use AI in our business every day. Everyone is using AI. We put 750 750,000 last year on a LLM that's now like not even worthless anymore because of now that it's it's moving so quickly. We have a couple we're working on. I think it's the the biggest like invention since like the wheel, right? Think that's how kind of big big it is.

27:04 My and you I think you kind of gather for me. I am a pretty [ __ ] glass half full optimistic guy and I'm so excited for what it can do and some of the applications we're going for. But there is the part of me and like okay you hear like Elon talking like yeah the the drone monster robots that just take over and kill everybody that's I think that's not the the worry for me. I mean it's a real concern. The concern or question that I'm curious about would we have 320 350 360 million people in this country? Mhm.

27:35 I I think there's a real world um where the halves and have nots and this like this this you know the separation of this wealth gap I think there's a there's a there's a world where we could be India I think right you look at that the mass disparity in wealth just on the jobs like like on like on you know with with you know robots and AI like just the amount of work we're starting happening in Tesla with manufacturing and stuff like I just really curious on your your thoughts again I'm the most glass house full guy but it's just it's just such a disruptive thing I mean it's the wheel it's electricity I mean it's such just an omnipresent thing that's only going to excel and I don't think it's going to excel 20 years from now I think it's the next 5 to 10 I'd love to get your your take on that we

28:27 yeah so I'm I'm not an optimist nor am I a pessimist I'm a realist I'm like is it you know the glass is it half empty it's a glass of water, get over it. It depends on how [ __ ] thirsty I am. If if I'm thirsty, then I need more water. If I'm not thirsty, then it's fine. So, I'm I'm very much a realist. And I think one of the things that we go into as you get into this ball game, you have to talk about you have to get the the soap opera out of the way. So, if you're extremely left leaning or extremely right leaning, you need to put that away, right? That that's not what we're talking about here. You need to have conversations that are unchangeable. So, for example, geopolitical. If you look at birth rates, the birth rates that are happening right now in China are less than what the Jews had during the Holocaust.

29:04 Period. In order and when I talk about birth rates, if you have two children, your birth rate is two. If you have three children, your birth rate is three. If I have zero children, when you do the difference between you and you know, if you had two and I had because I don't want you have three and I have none, the answer is 1.5. In order to sustain a species, you have to have a birth rate of at least 2 to 2.2 to continue to do that. That hasn't been the case in the modern world for 60 years and most of well Europe's been 1 8 to 1.6. So no matter what happens and there's a great guy named Peter Zahan who talks about this in detail. If you just look at the data this is the last decade for China. This is the last decade for Russia. This is the last decade for um Germany. This is the last decade for for Italy. It's there's just it is what it is because they stopped banging 40 to 60 years ago. Even if we

29:55 did forced birth camps right now where basically we forced women to have babies, you're still looking at 20 years out. So no matter what happens, we don't have enough people. And when you look at this on on this level, Yeah. So when you look at this, like right now, we get less than 4% of our oil from the Middle East. Period. We get less than 4%.

30:12 We do not have enough people to govern the world the way we used to. Period. So even if we wanted to protect the Middle East, which we don't, there's no benefit for us doing that,

30:23 we don't have the ability to do it. Just it it is what it is. So we have to look at practical numbers. When you look at like EVs taking over, and I and I will get back to your question. When you look at EVs take over, you need four times the amount of lithium that's ever been mined out of the world in order to make that accomplished. It's not going to happen. We just don't have the science for it right now.

30:40 So when it comes to AI, we're running into, you know, again, Germany's got the oldest population it's ever had. China's got the oldest population it's ever had. Italy's got the oldest population. Russia's got the oldest population. They're aging out. There's there's nothing you can do there that's going to change that. We've never dealt with this as a species before. This happened because we industrialized. We went from agricultural to industrial. And when you go into industrial in this situation, you don't have those little horrible little brats because they're expensive.

31:06 You have less of them because you don't need farm workers. And then sooner or later, you're like, we don't want any of them because they're annoying. So, we've had that change as you industrialize. But to answer about AI, we started agricultural. That's what we did. And then that revolution came in and we didn't have to be hunter gathers anymore. And that changed. There were jobs that were created that had never been thought before. From there we went in industrial and which means bazillions of jobs were wiped out just completely exterminated on the agricultural side.

31:30 Then we went, you know, and industrial. Then we had that. Then we had the technology boom and it was like, "Oh my god, tech's here. It's going to wipe out jobs." And it did. It crushed jobs. When I was in college, the job I had was not the job that they were training me for. So when you come into these things, when you have these era of changes, the technological revolution wiped out industrial based jobs. Just crushed them. Look at Amazon. Look what it did to Walmart and Sears and and all of that. Crushed them. AI is going to do the same thing. It is going to exterminate walls of jobs and it's going to create walls of other jobs.

32:02 What do you think the what what and I guess that's the heartbeat. So that's a fair it's fair, right? like you you they have a very good examples with like especially agricultural revolution and the industrial but I just don't trying to look forward to it though like I could see that right and maybe it's easier to see because it's retrospective like okay that was a pivot and this this new job creation but I just don't see with again with the humanoid robots that are coming and AI I don't know what that because what is it it's com like compute like the machines are doing the work so I I I don't know the the I mean We're looking at from at a real estate side, we're looking at like, you know, who the any any facility that has like grandfathered in high amounts of voltage and like volume like that's those those sites are worth a lot of money because like that's where it all is. Data centers in this country compute compute

32:52 compute. So like that's just a asset play. I I don't see the the job the job. Yeah. Anything that's content creative any of that it's over. It's it's absolutely over. And you talked about, you know, 5 10 years from now. No, you know, we just ran a bunch of stuff through AI with we had a program that because we like we need to do photo shoots. And one of my sons like, "No, we don't." We took photo shoots that I had before. We loaded in the AI and we're like, "Well, that just saved me thousands of dollars on photo shoots.

33:18 We're just going to use those and they're just better." You know, we have we digitize my voice so we can have podcasts that are automated and it sounds like me talking to someone else. Google does that. We So those are those are being eliminated. Those jobs are being exterminated. But when we go into So anything creative, it's gone. I think your blueco collar workers, the people who can, you know, fix things and plumbers and build things that that will come back on a high level because we're going to need that, especially here in the United States as United States, you know, because we've had nine presidential elections that have elected presidents that are more isolationist than the pre than previous ones. They're all just isolationist. They we don't care anymore about the rest of the world. So, I think where the the new jobs will come that we've never even thought of before, but we're running

33:59 into problems that we've never had before. So, there will be massive new jobs to replace nurses and doctors and and all that, but robotics, we're not we're not anywhere near that. If you have any doubt on that, I mean, we're recording this 2025, I think, at this point. Um, we're recording this 2025. Go into chat GPT and play the game of 20 questions, which is, if you don't know what the game of 20 questions is, just say, "Hey, I'm thinking of an animal." And it'll say, "Is it a mammal?" And 4 seconds later, it's going to ask you again, "Is it a mammal?" You're like, "Oh my god, it's just not there yet."

34:28 Now, in 2 three years from now, absolutely. But when we had this fear about technological revolution, look at the people who made all this money on Bitcoin or crypto or trading at home. You know, you did this. You were a trader.

34:39 If I told you a guy could sit in his PJs at home and do seven, eight figures, if I told you that 20, 30 years ago, you're like, you're out of your mind

34:47 now. That's normal. I'm working on with another guy who's going to come on the podcast. He has a robot that just does forex. So for for those of you who's playing at home, forex is for an exchange. You're ch trading currencies. You're allowed to do it very high leverage. He built a robot. He's getting 6% a week on it and he's just consistently like clockwork gets 6.3% on this one no matter what. He's been doing it for like seven eight years and just just rocket firing like crazy. So the idea to be able to make that money and to do those things if you're walking into it being okay I'm afraid of this then you lose. It's like those people who don't let their kids get on the internet and don't have tablets. What world are you preparing them for? So I think AI is going to be phenomenal for creating massive amounts of jobs but it's also going to crush an immense amount of jobs. Yeah.

35:30 Yeah. We'll see. I mean, I just know like you know you familiar with Curtzwell,

35:34 Ray Curtzwell. So, um it's a good book um old book. It's called The Singularity is near and like that that that's the idea like the whole idea of like you know when man and robot kind of combine and that humanoid type of type of thing and with these nanobots and that that that's the that's the idea how to live forever. And um

35:51 I I think we've got some, you know, we've been we're right now we're more divided at least here in the United States than we've been since the Civil War

35:57 that no matter what side you're on, as you pull away rights from a person and you take away something that they used to have as a right, um which we don't have the Bill of Rights, we have the Bill of Options or the Bill of Temporary conveniences because we don't actually have rights. Um, if if you don't believe me, go look up 1940s Japanese containment camp for Japanese Americans, and it'll tell you all about your precious bill of rights. We live in a world where we're taking away rights from people. If you agree with them or don't agree with them, and you're forcing your belief upon them, those people ultimately revolt. Period. So, in order to get to where we want to get to with the humanoid and the singularity and all that, you've got to deal with the fact that 70% of the country's pissed and they're not going to walk away from this and it's going to get nasty. So, you also got, you know,

36:46 Europe in this situation has a they're they're upset with us right now. And as they pull back, how long do you think Germany, as we destabilize away from them, how long do you think Germany is going to pay for Greece's debt? you're going to go back to what it was 80, 90, 100 years ago before the World War II. Germany is not going to pay for this stuff for long. So, you have a destabilizing of the entire idea. But, you know, kind of going back to more of what we're talking about, how to be successful through failure. When you, you know, we talked about personal loss, we talked about, you know, divorce from the parents, I mean, from your wife.

37:15 We've talked about the, you know, the loss of, you know, of your dad. What do you do when you have business losses? And what what are some of the business losses you've had? Um, I mean, we need another podcast. Um, all all kinds. Um, I mean, I I I I turned down um $600 million for one of my businesses that I was sure I'd get a billion for. Um, ended up getting raided by the FBI, fined by the FDA, and and I sold it for 6 million. So, like, uh, half a billy um, loss.

37:50 How do you how do you deal with that? What are what are the ways that you push?

37:53 Yeah, it's it's a story. I mean it's part it's part of the journey. Like I mean I I looked at it and and and I would do it again which is probably thinking well I'm crazy. But um I I at that time I was making more money than I could spend. I have billionaire friends and we weren't living any differently other than I was chartering my jet and he was he owned his. That was literally the only difference.

38:16 And you know some you know hillbilly kid from smalltown Kentucky. Mhm. Few people will get a shot at taking down to Billy. Like few a few people. So that was me. Like [ __ ] it. Like what what's going to change other than tax bill, whatever. Like what what am I going to do? Like this is my opportunity. Let's go and do it. And I just punt it and and uh kicked it down. So when all that [ __ ] happened in the moment, did I feel smart? No. I felt like the biggest idiot ever. But again, if you let time and reflection be guide you and know that there is a lesson come know, I don't know when you're going to learn it, but there's a lesson that's happened and it's going to it's going to come to you. So for me in that instance, um it's having confidence to know that like there's, you know, this two will pass. If it if it's really really good, this two will pass. If it's really really bad, this two will pass. So the

39:10 lesson on that is that happened. That was an E500 company. disastrous whatever. This was right during COVID. Um I actually got an offer for 12 million, but it would have shut down the company and reload and I I would I would have cost 120 jobs during a [ __ ] pandemic,

39:25 right? 6 million wasn't worth that to me, right? Like I like I live in this town. No way. That company is still operating and going and just did a massive renovation. So jobs are saved. All is right in the world. Six months before all that happened, we had an idea for another company um to look at diagnostics and biological age and what have you. We had spent a million dollars on equipment. That's how much cash we had. That equipment had been sitting in our warehouse for 9 months. I don't know if we ever would have [ __ ] set the equipment up, but after all this stuff, like, okay, well, maybe maybe we should start to look look to pivot. That was my second inc 500 company. Right.

40:05 And I think, you know, talk about when there's failure, you don't feel very smart. Like, God, I'm I'm an idiot. There's this big failure.

40:11 Yeah. I I I'm curious if you've had the similar experience I've had where there was massive success and you turn around, you're like, I have no idea how this happened. I Because there's deals I've closed where I'm like, I'm not that smart. How is this? So,

40:23 as you said earlier on, there's a there's a bit of luck with this. There's there's a little bit of luck just putting out there and swinging.

40:29 Yeah. There there's a ton of luck, but but no one's any different than you. like anyone that you're I mean, well, maybe Elon. Elon is just he's next level. He's not from this world. I don't think he's he's he's something different. But no one else is any different than you, right? And I think I've been in the rooms. I've been on the stage. I' I've been there. I've met them. I've done deals with them. And they're just like you. And took a shant. And they had passion and they wanted to make an impact. And they [ __ ] said no to failure and said [ __ ] it ain't going to stop me. accept that it's part of the process and you know you can fight it, but you're not going to win.

41:06 Embrace it and and make it part of your your tool belt. Yeah. I think the most powerful lesson I learned in business and scaling and and being able to survive is you don't matter and it's nothing personal to anybody out there. I don't matter. No one else matters. And this happened because there were two guys uh they both went to diabetic schools. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And they went and they bought this pickling packing company. So they pickled uh pig's feet and they pickled eggs. And I was like, "What the heck?" And they bought this company and it was two guys and we were I was 20 something at the time. Like I'm going to run the IT division. And I was like, "Dude, it's one computer. What?

41:41 You don't need it." He's like, "Yeah, but we need someone to make sure the computer works." I was like, "You make enough money. Set up seven computers. What are you talking about?" So I just set up a computer, had a spare one, and put everything else in the cloud. We did all that for him. I was like, "What are you doing here?" He's like, "Well, we bought this company. It was complete kaka. It just wasn't doing well." He goes, "But we connected and and we we now distribute our stuff through Costco and all these other places." And I was like, "So, what's production look like?"

42:03 He goes, "Well, we have these containers and we drop in pigs feet and we drop in eggs and we fill it with the fluid. We seal it up and we leave it in the warehouse." And I was like, "Well, what about your product?" He goes, "It pickles. The longer it's in, the better it is." And I was like, "Son of a gun." I was like, "Do you guys study this and do all that?" He's like, "No, we just saw the deal. We thought it was easy and we just went for it." And they're multi-millionaires and they ended up selling the company and they made an absolute fortune, but they took themselves out of the equation. So, I think when you're running into this and you're worried about, oh, how am I going to fail? How am I going to survive? How am I going to rebuild? Take your butt out of the equation because if you're not scaling, if you look at the numbers either in your bank account or on your scale, your actual weight scale, that is

42:37 a result of your discipline and who you are. Yeah. You've you've chosen to get there. If you are a large individual who eats 700 cakes a day and you're wondering why you can't run a triathlon, tada. If you look in the mirror and you're blown away with how you look, that's on you. Same thing with your bank account. sitting down you we yield to our fear and we yield to comfort and if you can't push through those you lose just all day every day. Um when you're coaching people, you know, you talked about you you've started doing that. What are your normal clients when they come to you and what are some of the questions you ask right off the bat?

43:10 So um because I'm in healthcare for whatever reason I I have a lot of doctors um that come through because they just they're good at doctoring but suck at business and didn't learn that. So that's that's the um that's where it starts and they all come to me with the wrong problems um and like that's part of it like getting them direction like okay what is it cuz like why are you is that really your problem or that what you think the symptom is or kind of going through it. So a lot of it is how to optimize the business and the process where the business runs without you just to what your point is like that business is its own own entity and what that allows you to do is get the [ __ ] out of it right like I do and like let the system and the process that you like let let that kind of run then you can be whatever you want you can do podcast you can be more creative you can go to real estate you can do other other things so

43:57 that's the first the first piece that's sadly it's pretty easy for me but like it's a lot of value for them so I do it after we kind of get that piece or in in parallel. It's a lot of the internal like suffer. I just enjoy that, right? I'm I enjoy like, you know, helping people have those breakthroughs way more than business. B business is [ __ ] easy. And I I'm not trying to be

44:18 No, it is, you know, passive business like Yeah. But like just I really loved seeing that that breakthrough like, okay, now we got that sorted.

44:26 How are you? What are you going to do? I got you all kinds of time now. What's your passion? What do you And then you you would not imagine most of the time they have no idea. I don't know what like they

44:37 because they've been running away from the wolf for so long. They've been trying to get away from the lion and now they're like, "What do I do? I don't have to run anymore." Like that's a

44:43 No, you talked about running before, you know, becoming a billionaire, becoming a man, doing all of that.

44:47 I remember the day that I I first had seven figures in the bank and I was like, "Okay, sex wasn't better, food wasn't better, my car didn't fly, my health didn't radically better." I was like, "Son of a gun." So, it just it doesn't all money cannot buy happiness. Money buys options and it buys the ability to do what you want when you want and that will give you parts of happiness but at the same time you you're everything changes. It gives you options is for what I've said to people. Yeah. Um I had a a buddy um we were doing business. This was in I was in New York City still and he had a line that the only difference between money and not is where you go, how you get there and where you stay when you arrive.

45:26 Yeah. And that's pretty [ __ ] accurate, right? Yeah. Are you driving the kids in the [ __ ] in a car going back through? Are you taking a PJ to you know St. Barts with I mean and then staying at a rental that's it where you going and guess what every like this we've been to St. Barts we all these great places. If you're there on a yacht

45:45 there's someone there on a [ __ ] beach in a tent looking up same [ __ ] stars for one 100th of a price that you [ __ ] paid. Same stars. Same experience.

45:55 Same stars. Same exper you Not the same experience, but I remember I decided I wanted to be wealthy when I walked I was on a plane. I I grew up very poor

46:03 that I walked on a plane and I didn't know what business class was and I saw these people sitting in business class and I'm a decent sized guy so I'm just over 200 lb and the seats end at basically before my shoulders begin. So if you and I are sitting next to each other on a plane, one of us is leaving off that flight pregnant. That's just how big.

46:20 So for me when I saw business class I was like I don't care what it takes. I'm doing that. I don't care how much it costs me, what I need to sacrifice. I am not being jammed up to some complete stranger where him and I are, you know, sharing sweat. It's gross. So, I agree. I I also think that money is a is an amplifier. So, again, I don't drink, but if you were a jerk and you started drinking, you're going to be a bigger jerk. If you're a goofball and you start drinking, you're going to be a bigger goofball.

46:45 Money is the same thing as you go into it. So, what are some of the things you're talking about breakthroughs with your clients? what are some of the breakthroughs that you've had where or what are the processes that you get your clients to have that breakthrough? So, um, first you got to get them aligned with the realization of like, you know, if working more hours um and harder was the answer, you would have already been there, right? Like, and like like but they don't see that. Like, so you got to like, yep, okay, well, cool. That's not the answer or you wouldn't you wouldn't be here.

47:12 Well, I think it's cuz we're taught that, right? We're taught that from the very beginning. Work hard. Work hard, you'll make more money. That then if that was the case, then a janitor would be a bazillionaire. So, no, that's not the answer.

47:22 No, for sure. So, um, usually kind of comes down to trying to diagnose what they perceive their problem is, right? And kind of going through that whole process and like, okay, let's fix that, go to the business, but then I really start going to the goals like what's cuz like what's important to you? And it's funny that people don't often have that. Like to me, I can tell you right there, like my family, like whatever like my family wants, that's [ __ ] what's important to me.

47:44 Yeah. And legacy of course, but like legacy is kind of selfish, but also for my family. So like that's that's it. And that's a knee-jerk answer, but so many people don't really know like why am I doing all this? What what what what is that whole purpose? And they feel lost and they they kind of lost theirelves and identity in their job, in their career. And like forget it like think about it, right? And and especially like in the doctors that we we work with, that's an easy example. They all like they all went through the exact same cycle. something in them as a young as as a youngster said hey they're obviously very smart but like hey I want to help people get better I don't want to have I want to help sick people that's the basis premise like when the kids are playing doctor like that's the basis premise they went to school medical school all this debt to find out you don't really [ __ ] help people like like it's like

48:33 it's like it's but it's like kind of like so then they go out like [ __ ] that [ __ ] I don't want to do that and they go and do 10 years in ER medicine or whatever they do and they leave and they get into like concierge to send in cash. So they they've now they've got halfway there. They're now back and they're they're rejuvenated cuz they're happy cuz they're actually helping people. So they've got that. So they feel purpose. But then after a while they're like, well now I'm just chained to my phone. It's a different thing. Yes, I'm helping people. It's better. But now I'm kind of changed. So So they just lose themselves. And then helping them kind of find that working back through like, okay, you are chained up here. This is your thing. But it does not identify. It does. It doesn't you know you define you like unless you want to leave this forever like but that's hard to do with medical practices because usually it's a

49:15 person. So what is your life after this right after you sell it? I can help you sell the thing. I can help you keep it and just have a cash machine. You don't have to worry about it. What do you do over here? That takes some time.

49:29 It takes some time for them to really kind of go through and do that and do that work and they have to do it. you can help them and kind of probe and what whatever because like but everyone else's

49:38 you know what my dreams are are [ __ ] different than your dreams man and they should be so I can't project my dreams on you like do this I can tell you like hey I've got similar ideas or similar path I want to do and this is what I I what's works for me and sharing those experiences but yeah just getting them to kind of dig in but it's tough cuz you got to build rapport so like the business thing helps me cuz like okay maybe I'm smart I've got CV and successful solve a business problem Like, [ __ ] I didn't think that would work. That gives me a lot of authority when they when they see that. Like, okay cool.

50:08 You want to [ __ ] fix you now? Right. And like, that's that's the fun part. Yeah.

50:12 Yeah. I would I would say most people have no idea who they are and they don't, you know, there's this great line from the movie The Fight Club says, "You're not your [ __ ] khakis." So, they don't know who you are. And then I've had I've worked with a lot of doctors and they're like, "Hey, you know, I want to heal sick people. I want to do this thing." I'm like, "Cool. Do you want to do that every single day of your life?" They're like, "No." I was like, "Okay, you've just put yourself in a situation where that's your reality."

50:31 And I think having residual income, having success, picking yourself up from those failures is realizing that there's a bunch of people who are doing seven figures a year who are miserable because most of the time they show up, at least in my world, entrepreneurs don't have bad days. They have days where they don't want to have any more days. They're having days where they have a gun and the goal is to help pivot them because there's times where they want to discontinue living is the nicest way I can say it. And I'm like, "Cool, let's do it." They're like, "Excuse me?" I'm like, "Hunderc, let's do it." They're like, "Wait, what?" I'm like, "Hun, let's do it. This life you like, you don't like it anymore. Let's get rid of it." And they're like, "Okay, well, what do I do?" I was like, "Well, first off, do you want to still be married to your husband or your wife?" And they're like, "Sw what?" I'm like, "No, let's really

51:09 let's do it. You're saying you're What are we going to part? What are we doing? Let's get rid of Let's only keep what we want with the idea that in five, six months, what you want is going to change,

51:19 but you don't know who you are and you don't know what your truth is." We talk about this all the time. Life is Imagine most people go to a bar and as you can tell, I don't drink. They go to the bartender, say, "Hey, can I have some chocolate milk?" And the bartender's like, "Here's a glass of orange juice." And you're like, "No, I'm sorry. Can I have chocolate milk?" And then, "Oh, here's three gallons of orange juice. Now here, okay, can I have a glass of chocolate milk? Here's 100,000 gallons of orange juice." That person's never going to be happy because they didn't get their chocolate milk. Most people have no idea what their chocolate milk

51:43 chocolate milk is. And understanding that what you think your chocolate milk is today, once you get it, you're going to want something else later. It's just the nature of the beast. It it's it's part of it. So if you think a successful business or anything the process of success is failure of hey I got this cool this work now what do I want next because if you took a look at your life and my life right now and you rewinded it 10 years ago and told us what you have right now 10 15 20 years ago that version of us like oh my god you're a complete amazing

52:15 you made it your whole you're a god how did you do that and then we forget that with here like oh well actually what I really want is this what I really want is that and then when you finally get off that treadmill of if I get this, I will then be happy instead of just I'm just going to be happy now. A dear friend of mine found out that he's got TBI, which is traumatic brain injury. He's a former vet and he is arguably the happiest individual I know,

52:37 which is wild to me. I was like, your brain doesn't work. It's just wild to me.

52:42 Yeah. Anyway, so when you do this and you work, what are the some of the first questions you ask a client when they say, "Hey, I want to have you successful." What are some of the first questions you ask?

52:50 Successful or just like fulfilled? What do you So, I love that you brought that up. There's There is

52:56 Because it's way different. That's way different. Let's explain that difference real quick for everybody.

53:00 Yeah. Yeah. Because like, you know, they everyone has this outwardly um thing of success as what you just described. It is um you know, hey, we you know, got this award, we hit this revenue number, we think that that's what success is. But when you hit that mark exactly you just had 10 years ago and you get there not really that cool. So it so that's so working them through that understanding that like hey that just part of the journey and trying to change that look at like hey this is truly not a destination. We're not going to end up anywhere. We're just going to keep kind of going progressing that helps reframe their idea of success. And I I actually use very similar thing like hey 5 years ago were you happy? Mhm.

53:42 Um, no. But were you happy if you were if you just kind of work that piece out. The fulfillment piece is what's been a lot of fun because like that's a harder question to to ask and that's when you kind of get into like, well, why did you start doing this? Right? What what's this? What do you want to do after this? And that's an interesting question because after they always think about

54:05 it as this future thing that always is kind of pushing out. Why isn't after now, right? I think why why why after why why do we wait and you just change that construct of how we're kind of built like oh I'm going to retire so I worked at 55 like why

54:19 why why not like there's a great book that a friend of mine wrote Bill Perkins I'll die with zero and it's literally just about like you know give the kids the money now donate to charity now like don't wait right if you want to make that impact you can do it now so you look at fulfillment and how like the resources right like the money to your point can be used solely for fulfillment like that. That's what like and then you need to figure out what those times are. Are those experiences or those things or and most of the time it's experiences with with people they love and then okay then you can start this goats dark but negative like I'm taking my family to Italy next year. Um I'm sorry next in May so three two months something like that. 45 people going to be super expensive. It's my 45th birthday.

55:04 Mhm. Um not really weird it's a kind of a weird milestone but like my parents are getting up there. I mean, you just don't know like what's going to happen in five more years, right? So, I want to have that experience.

55:14 Mhm. [ __ ] is it is it typical? No. But do I give a [ __ ] No. I'm I'm going to kind of do it. So, getting them to understand what fulfillment is, but then to start receiving it earlier and just starting to take it and a lot of times it's just giving them permission

55:29 to take it, giving them because they already they already can do it. They just they don't think that it's that right time. And then you you just start change that framework. So, I think there's part of that permission is the feeling worthy enough, feeling like I'm enough. And, you know, you've gone through, you know, we talked about this before we're on before we're on camera. You went through a pretty ruth, you know, really intense divorce.

55:47 How do you sit back and you go, you know what, not only I get it. I'm learning, I'm healing, I'm doing the therapy, which again, if you don't doing therapy, go do therapy now. It's a gift to give yourself. It's so unbelievably important. Uh there's and if people like, oh, it's not it's not manly to go through therapy. I'm like, I can get you responded to the, you know, tier one operators who have been in therapy. These are warriors.

56:07 They're in therapy, too. So, if you don't think you're it's, oh, I can't do that. It's not hard. Okay, princess.

56:11 So, well, welcome. But when you're going through that, how do you refine your worth to say, you know what, I have failed in business. I have failed with my with my kids, with my wife, with all that where you step back and say, you know what, no, I'm going to have a relationship organ fight or I'm going to be able to do this and and go to Lee. How do you go through that process of regaining your worth? Well, I think you can't change the past. I mean, I've tried. If someone knows Ally, I'll take suggestions, but you can't undo it.

56:40 Um, so what we do are these these losses and these failures and these mistakes that we make, you know, a lot of times it's, you know, we just dwell in them and we're miserable, whatever. And I think that's a natural thing. But if you can go and change that to be okay, use that as that lesson to to make sure like, hey, that's not who I want to be. And not overcorrect, but just make that course correction to kind of go back and like, hey, I want to have that meaningful relationship. I want to be connected. I want to be home for dinner.

57:07 I want to do those things. Because once you do it, then you just take action and do it. And and and giving yourself that permission to be able to kind of go through. Um, the other piece is like, okay, you go through a nasty divorce, there's two [ __ ] people in it, and like it's very easy to put blame, but you, and this is true with life, with business deals, whatever. It's way easier to get to a result into a negotiation point, um, and get business or or relationships, personal, when you just put yourself on the other perspective. And I know it sounds so simple, but just understanding like just like you said, why am I having this visceral action? Why is this so important to me? What's their side?

57:46 What's what's their what's their truth and understanding? And then if you can do that, it's selfless and kind of going through it. You can get to a meeting point quite quite easy. There's a study that a study there's a thing I know happens at all law schools. I know it happens at University of Kentucky here. Um as I think second year of law they do like moot court and they give the prosecution and defense um it's about oranges. Um, and it's an intellectual property dispute and you know it's about IP violations. Who owns the IP? Um, and they're just fighting over it. Can't get to Empass. And the MOO court goes on for I think 3 weeks and basically goes to a judge. They're both kind of fighting out and like the judge renders a result that's kind of shitty. They basically neither of them get protection IP. So it's now a free-for-all. So they actually lost protection against themselves to everyone else.

58:43 They had notes of like what the what was important to them inside. Prosecution had a groundbreaking business idea that can revolutionize um food source with orange pulp. Right. Defense had a remarkable technology and defense for fuel with orange peels.

59:05 Mhm. Had they talked, there was no disputes. Right. You take the oranges, I'll take the peels. We're [ __ ] golden,

59:13 right? And we do that in negotiation. And there was a I learned negotiation from Harvard and we talk about, you know, this is we divide the groups up. Group A wants this, group B wants this, but group A doesn't know what group B wants or group B doesn't know what A and you have to negotiate with each other. And you do this one-on- ones.

59:28 Yeah. And one of the worst things you can do in negotiation is talk because the other person is already sk all their stuff that they prepared this whole time is stuck in their head. So they're not going to listen to anything you say at all until they get the crap out of their head.

59:40 So you walk in and then you're just listening to their pain point. What do they really want? And then just assume and again this is the only time I will talk about pronouns. That's when you start using you don't use you and you use we how do we get to point and you you become the same people on the same team to go after a certain thing.

59:56 And like I I wrote a book without called without a plan and like it pisses my staff off. But like what you said is 100% right. I don't go into I don't prep for meetings. I'm not unprepared, but I don't prep and like this is how it's going to go because every time it doesn't go that way.

1:00:13 Oh, every time. Um, so like but it can go better. You're going in for a distribution deal and it can turn into a merger, right? I mean there there but you have to be open to it.

1:00:23 Mhm. And that's it. So I agree 100% going silence is as magical. And then you identify their pain. Let's identify what their pain is. Identify what they want. And then in the process of giving them what they want, you get what you want. Happens every single time. But these are techniques and and strategies that most people don't know. And they and they need to sit down and they need to work with someone. They need to find a coach. They need to find someone that they can strategize with. They need to find someone that they can connect with who's been there. And again, if you're searching for someone as you're going through this, find someone who's proven by having failures.

1:00:53 So if people want to track you down, if people want to get a hold of you, what is the best way to do that?

1:00:58 So I'm Jeremy Estelk on all socials. Um jeremyulk.com. Uh, check out the book. It's on Audible and um Barnes & Noble, Amazon, wherever you get books. And yeah, reach out. Um, jeremyuck.com. You can go book a discovery call and um, you got a really interesting business idea, you're you're going through something, um, you know, if you're just starting out, um, probably not the guy for you. Um, if everything's going really well, not the guy. Like I like the dumpster fires and like shit's [ __ ] falling apart, like me. Like that's that that's fun.

1:01:32 All right, man. I I really appreciate you coming out and being so vulnerable and talking about it because there's a bunch of people who we'll just show you the shiny stuff and there's not authenticity, but the people who are actually proven, the people who actually have done this.

1:01:42 Oh yeah, we've had our we've had our bumps and our bruises and you know, I think the biggest takes away are, you know,

1:01:48 get your ego out of the way. Get therapy understands. Yeah. And just keep fighting the fight and getting back up.

1:01:53 That's right. All right, man. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much for coming on.

1:01:56 Appreciate it. Thank you. Success isn't about avoiding the fall. It's about how fast you get back up. Every setback is data. Every failure is fuel.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk"?

Jeremy Delk (Guest), Unknown (Host of The Proven Podcast) (Host).

What is discussed in "Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk"?

In order: 0:00 Inc. 500, Wall Street, Bargetown, Kentucky, Caribbean; 10:00 Del Enterprises, hospice, Impostor Syndrome, Wall Street; 20:00 Russia; 30:00 United States (states), Lithium, Middle East, Real estate; 40:00 Inc. 500, New York City, New York, Real estate, St. Barts; 50:00 Bill Perkins, Die With Zero, Fight Club, University of Kentucky; 1:00:00 Audible, Barnes & Noble, jeremyulk.com.

What is mentioned in this The Proven Podcast episode?

40 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Inc. 500, Real estate, Wall Street, hospice, Russia, United States (states). Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk"?

The episode runs 1 h 2 min; the transcript is about 14,590 words in 149 timestamped sections.

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