Transcript

Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026

From The Ramsey Show · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 2 h 6 min · 23,429 words · 476 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026", an episode of The Ramsey Show published February 11, 2026 (2 h 6 min, about 23,429 words). It mentions 16 people, works and ideas, including Ramsay Show, Ramsay Solutions, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Jade Warshaw, Baby Steps.

What this episode is about

The discussion focuses on the detrimental impact of financial decisions driven by emotions, illustrated through a caller's ongoing struggles to assist his mother, who continues to accumulate significant credit card debt despite prior financial assistance. The conversation emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and making informed decisions to achieve financial stability.

Key takeaways

  • Bailing out parents may seem compassionate, but it often traps them in a cycle of financial dependence.
  • Sometimes the toughest love is letting go; financial health requires emotional distance from family drama.
  • Debt consolidation might sound like a solution, but it can be a trick disguised as a treat.
  • Enabling poor financial habits often leads to exhausted relationships; saving yourself can actually save them too.
  • You've got to break the cycle: emotional guilt won't fix financial woes, only tough love can.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 15:00: Jade Warshaw, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Dave Ramsey, Ramsay Show
  2. – 30:00: Ramsay Show, Ask Ramsay
  3. – 45:00: Fair Winds Credit Union, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Ramsay Show, Jade Warshaw
  4. – 1:00:00: Every Dollar, Christian Healthcare Ministries, Baby Steps, Dave Ramsey
  5. – 1:30:00: Social Security, Jade Warshaw, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Fair Winds Credit Union
  6. – 1:45:00: Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Every Dollar
  7. – 2:00:00: Baby Steps, Ramsay Solutions, Every Dollar, Dave Ramsey
  8. – 2:06:00: Baby Steps

Notable quotes from "Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026"

  • Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So, we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsay Show.
    about Ramsay Show · at
  • Hopefully. And so Ken and I are gonna help you get to that point and go forward from here and leave the past in the past.
    about Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother) · at
  • Behavior, but none of it matters. That's why I'm not going to list it out. What matters is you. And Jade nailed it.
    about Jade Warshaw · at
  • It. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Xander can help you find the right plan.
    about Xander Insurance · at
  • And want an answer for your situation, you can now head to our website and use Ask Ramsay. This is our free AI tool that's built and trained on our proven Ramsay principles.…
    about Ask Ramsay · at
  • Budget and every time you use it, it's a reminder you control your money, not the other way around. Fair Winds Credit Union is for people who are serious about taking control…
    about Fair Winds Credit Union · at
  • Whatever this umbrella company is. I think you can just go out there. I think you can, in the words of Dave Ramsey, kill something, drag it home, and eat it. And I think that…
    about Dave Ramsey · at
  • I'm on baby step four, five, and six, and I hate debt. I've gone through baby step two twice now. first time to pay off $140,000. Second time was $113,000.
    about Baby Steps · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother) — Person · Co-host / Main speaker (episode lead) · 6 mentions · first at
    Co-host who drives the call flow, asks diagnostic questions, and gives direct coaching—especially around shame, relationships, and career decisions.
  • Jade Warshaw — Person · Co-host · 4 mentions · first at
    Co-host who leads several caller segments, provides budgeting/investing guidance, and frames money as emotional/behavioral (not just math).
  • Dave Ramsey — Person · Show namesake / Referenced host; voice in ads and brand framing · 4 mentions · first at
    Referenced as the primary brand authority (Ramsey principles/Baby Steps) and appears in sponsor-style reads; callers address him even when co-hosts lead.
  • John Bradshaw — Person · Referenced expert (author on shame) · 1 mention · first at
    Introduced as an authority on shame when Ken recommends a book to a caller struggling with shame after job loss.
    Recommend to you and it's a heavy read, but it's worth reading. I've read it, am reading it. It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. It's considered the…

Books & papers

  • Healing the Shame That Binds You — Book · Primary recommendation · 1 mention · first at
    Recommended reading for dealing with shame and emotional issues.
    Recommend to you and it's a heavy read, but it's worth reading. I've read it, am reading it. It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. It's considered the…

Companies & orgs

  • Ramsay Solutions — Company · Host · 1 mention · first at
    The company behind the podcast, providing financial advice and tools.
    Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So, we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsay Show.

Products & tech

  • Dodge Challenger — Product · Case study · 1 mention · first at
    Example of a sentimental purchase discussed in the context of financial decisions.
    Well, I bought this car with the intention of keeping it forever. I wanted my grandkids one day to find it in the barn type thing.

Concepts & topics

  • Baby Steps — Concept · Framework · 4 mentions · first at
    Core financial framework discussed throughout the podcast.
  • Social Security — Concept · Strategy · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a potential income source for retirement planning.
    I'm 62 years old and about ready to claim social security, but I have about $79,000 in debt. And I got a letter from the consolidating to consolidate it by stopping your credit.

Media & podcasts

  • Ramsay Show — Media · Broadcast · 3 mentions · first at
    The podcast itself, providing financial advice and call-in discussions.

Sponsors

  • Every Dollar — Product · Sponsor · 5 mentions · first at
    Budgeting app promoted as a tool for financial management.
    Brought to you by the Every Dollar app.
  • Fair Winds Credit Union — Company · Sponsor · 5 mentions · first at
    Financial institution sponsoring the podcast and offering financial tools.
  • Xander Insurance — Company · Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    Insurance provider recommended for term life and disability insurance.
  • Netsuite — Product · Sponsor · 4 mentions
    Business management software promoted for growing businesses.
  • Ask Ramsay — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    AI tool built on Ramsey principles for financial advice.
  • Christian Healthcare Ministries — Company · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Health cost sharing ministry recommended as a budget-friendly health option.
    If you're looking for a more budget friendly way to save on medical costs and stay true to your values, Christian Healthcare Ministries is a great option to think about. CHM is not health.

Full transcript with timestamps

Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So, we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsay Show. Alongside Jade Warshaw, I'm Ken Coleman. Excited to have you with us. The phone number to jump in for your question today is8825-55225.88255225.

Let's start it off with Steve who joins us in Atlanta, Georgia. Steve, how can we help today?

Hey Dave, thanks for taking my call. So, um I'm trying to um get some advice from you. I've got kind of a long-term problem here with my mother. And um I think I should give a little backstory here. Um about 15 years ago or so, uh her house was paid for. Um and we had her car paid off. Um I knew she's always been a spender. Um, I've been supplementing her income the last 10 years. And, you know, I I knew she was spending on credit cards, so I I I you know, first I gave her $3,000 uh to pay them off. Then I gave her the next year $5,000 and then it went to seven. And then in 2024, she had racked up 21,000 in credit card debt, and I had a heart-to-heart with her, and I paid them off. Um, gave her 21,000, and uh um

Let me guess, it's right there. Yeah. Told her I was uh I was done. I was not doing this anymore. Um and uh it's just kind of continued. Where is it today? She Yes,

she's at 33 now. So, she went above and beyond. She outdid herself. Yes. And so, last last year, I think I should if I can continue a little. I uh I'm just trying to figure out how I can help my mother. I want her to be okay, but I don't want, you know, I I paid her mortgage off. Um, and I didn't pay her credit cards off. I felt like, uh, at least I have some control and this is an asset that's appreciating. Um,

what's your what's your question, Steve? I know you want to keep going on, but we're pretty clear of what's going on here on our end. So, what's your question for us? So my question is, you know, what to do. You know, I don't want to pand Steve. Were you just Were you just playing poker with her and trying to bluff her when you told her you weren't going to do it again?

Well, you know, I guess how do I No, no, no, no. Steve, get her to Steve. Steve, that was a real question.

Yes or no? Were you bluffing or did you mean it? That you were never going to pay off credit cards again?

I meant it. Okay, then now you have to you have to prove that you meant it. There's something that you're um there's something in you that feels like you're bad or feels guilt for not solving her problem.

And your guilt about not solving her problem is stronger than your logic for actually doing the right thing. Mhm.

Well, you know, I understand that. And so I I stood, you know, I took my guns. She begged me to pay them off again. I didn't do it. Like I said, I paid the mortgage off. In fact, she actually got mad at me for doing that. As crazy as that sounds,

it does sound crazy, but it sounds crazy for both of you guys. Here's what I want you to not do. Um, if if if Ken and I give you a response going forward, I want you to not answer with the past, I want you to answer with something also that will be going forward. Is that fair enough?

Okay. Because the the milk is spilled. Right here we are. There was years of uh enablement and now we're at a a precipice of a new way of doing life for both you and your mother. Right.

Correct. Hopefully. And so Ken and I are gonna help you get to that point and go forward from here and leave the past in the past.

Yeah. So I guess my question to this is bankruptcy. She's she's she signed up for a debt consolidation company and and uh I don't want her to get taken advantage of. So that's the gist of my call.

I don't think you have to worry about her being taken advantage of. I think you she she's the take advantager of right. I don't think you have to worry about that.

Well, I Steve I listen I I have a lot of sympathy for you. I really do. But you called us and you're asking us questions and and the question that you're not actually asking is what is okay for me to do and what is not okay for me to do. You're not asking it that way and you're just circling the drain emotionally with her. And so you're asking like what about bankruptcy and all these things. Here's the deal. Your mother would be considered uh by the state wherever she lives, right, as uh capable of managing her own money.

Yes or no? Yes. Okay. And even then, you're struggling. You're still making excuses for your mom. Your mom is a grown woman who has got all kinds of pain. And there's some backstory that leads to all of this behavior, but none of it matters. That's why I'm not going to list it out. What matters is is you. And Jade nailed it. You're in a really tough emotional spot. And I think what you're supposed to do here is is acknowledge what kind of a tough emotional spot you're in. I would share it one last time with mom. Hey, I'm now out financially, but I will tell you the residue is I'm emotionally worried for you and I feel like I'm not being a good son. But here's the problem, Mom. If I bail you out, you're not going to stop and it's going to hurt our relationship. So, I can no longer worry about you. So, I'm going to lay it out. Mom, you can't keep doing this.

Here are your options right now. You're going to have to manage your own money, and you're going to have to wash your hands of this or else it's going to drive you absolutely emotionally insane, and then you're going to end up truly resenting your mother. Yeah.

This is a sad part is that you can't do anything. Are you the only child, Steve? Is it just you,

a grown adult? Well, I grew up I grew up Yeah. I So, technically I am. And we could go down some some deeper rabbit holes, but I grew up with uh with two steps and a step. Um,

and they're not in the equation today. Are they in the equation today or No, they're not.

Okay. And how old is your mom? She's getting ready to turn 80. Okay. Um, yeah, she has some physical u problems.

I agree with Ken. She's she's 80, but she's she's still here. She her mind sounds like her mind works plenty well, right? It's not She's not slipped. Is she slipping?

Without going down the rabbit hole, she's she's had some uh depression issues for certain. depression. Okay. But I'm talking about is she is she with it? Um, you know, does she no dementia, nothing like that, right?

Aside from her giving you the power of attorney and and basically her custodian for a lack of a better word. I know that's not the right word, so take it easy on me in the comments,

but aside from her agreeing for you to manage her money, that's all you can do. So maybe you talk mom into doing that with her being 80 with health problems, then you can manage her money. But aside from her giving you that sad

she'll she'll die with this debt is the sad part. But that's not your problem. And I'm really sad that you're in this situation. I think your one move is to go, "Mom, will you let me be in charge of all your money? Give me total control and I'll take care of you." That's the only shot you got.

Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day, someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits.

You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes.

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Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work. So, it replaces a large part of your income, so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet. Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it. If it's uh discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Xander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money's still showing up.

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Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. All right, let's go to Stewie in Chicago. I hope I said that right. Stewie, how can we help?

So, I've got probably the opposite problem of the last caller. I am kind of a saver.

Okay. And maybe over the last 10 years, I've been collecting cash, collecting cash. I always throw it in a drawer and I never really use it. And now I realized just the other day I realized I've got about $300,000 in my house.

Oh wow. Wow. And I'm not I'm unsure of what to do with it. And how did is it do I take it to the bank? Is it okay?

Is that your only is that your only money, Stewie? Is the 300,000 or have you ever used a bank?

No, I have a bank. I have a bank. I It started I don't It started as kind of a game 10 years ago. I'm save I save $100 bills and I just save. I don't know. Um

Yeah, but that's a lot. I got some money in a bank, but I just I got more than I It's too much at the house, it seems like.

Yeah, it's a it's a risk. It's too much. What do you What do you have? Do you have a traditional savings account?

I have I have got a checking account and I've got a high yield savings account for some other money that I've got.

Okay. Do you have any investment accounts? anything that's like a 401k or an IRA, anything like that?

I never have. Okay. Okay. How old are you, Stewie? I 50. I just turned 50. Okay.

You have no 401k, no retirement account of any kind. Never have. Who do you work for? Well, you don't need to tell us that because I want to keep you as private as possible. But what kind of work do you do?

I'm self-employed. I work in agriculture and I and our business does our business takes in a lot of cash and I just at one point I decided, you know what, I like cash. I'm going to keep it around and out of hand to see.

Well, listen. So, Jade is pulling up her uh handy dandy investment calculator. This is off of Ramseyolutions website, ramiesolutions.com. You need to pay close attention, Stewie, with the numbers and then she'll tell you what to do. So Stewie, with you just saving these $100 bills, what would you say on in a month, how much do you think you put away into savings under your mattress or wherever it is in your house?

I have no It's slowed down quite a bit. My family's a lot larger now. Um the kids are bigger. We're spending more.

Sure. But I mean, is it 500 bucks? Is it to you know, give me a ballpark? Yeah, 500 to a,000 probably. 500.

Okay, I'll say 500. So, here's what I here's what I want to show you. Uh, first off, if you take that money and you invest it, which you should be doing, because the truth is the time is going to come when you don't work, right? You're 50. I'm sure there's going to be a time where you don't want to have to go into work. Correct.

Correct. And you need to have a nest egg of money to draw off of, and there's a limited amount of time for you to build that nest egg. Fair enough.

True. Therefore, we need to harness the power of compounding interest. And when it's at home, there's zero compounding interest. As a matter of fact, it's almost negative. It's depleting the value of your money because inflation, right? There's no hedge against inflation. And you understand that.

So, if we can, you know, next step is yeah, you pop it in a high yield savings and maybe get 3.5% or maybe 4%. That's okay. But if you were to invest it in really just kind of your basic index fund, you know, good growth stock, mutual fund, growth in income, you could really have an average annualized rate of return of around 10%. Like you could pretty much bet on that. Okay. So, if we did that, if we just popped that 300,000 into an index fund, I mean, you don't even have to get sophisticated here. that money and you just said, "Hey, instead of putting the $500 that I sock away under the mattress, I'm going to just add that to that pile every month."

Do you know that just in 17 years by the time you're 67, you're going to have it would be almost $2 million. It'd be 1.89 million.

I mean, it seems hard to believe, but I I believe you. Yeah. And it and it is. And you need here the bigger part is you need that money because you said your family's continued to grow. There will come a day whether you want it or not that you can't work. So if I were in your shoes too and I I know Ken would do the same. We would be skipping down to the bank, you know, we'd be skipping over to uh invest that money right away because you said how much do you have in the high yield savings?

Uh probably 400. Oh man. Oh man, you're a rich man, Stewie. Hold on. I just want to make sure. 400,000.

I do. Okay. So, that's amazing. But listen, you've got to get with a Smart Invest Pro. Gotcha.

Okay. So, we're going to have Christian direct you uh to the spot on our website. You need to interview a minimum of three Smart Veester pros. They're independent of us. They're licensed, the whole nine yards, but they'll advise you the way we've advised you. and you are sitting on $700,000 in cash. So, what our advice would be is that you have 3 to six months of your expenses in that savings account, high yield. Okay? So, let's just say for sake of discussion, that's 50,000.

I'd even let him keep a hundred. Clearly, Stewie is the type that likes Okay, so let's say he keeps a hundred in there. So, now we've got $600,000 that you need to get invested soon. in in really good the mutual funds that she's talking about and let that money go to work for you and no longer are we putting money in the drawer the way you pay yourself the smart vest pro that you select and go with and they're going to explain everything to where you understand it

and your eyes are going to bug out of your head. Yeah. And now you start doing what Jade told you to do and again you're going to be a very very wealthy person. Uh, but you need to get on it because you've lost who knows how many millions of dollars by not having done this earlier. And at 50, it's time for you to step up and do this. There's nothing to be scared of, and they'll explain it well, but that's your next step.

What's your aversion to it, Stewie? What is what's caused you to kind of shy away from that?

I don't know if I have an answer. It started out as a game. I thought I I like saving money and so I started as and then I thought you know what

I I I feel I felt maybe at sometime I'm fearful of the stock I am fearful of the stock market.

Okay, that's what I was getting to. Tell tell us about that. Why are you fearful of the stock stock market because that that originated somewhere and if we can just put our finger on that we can we can change that and shift that in your mind for you.

I'm not sure. I mean I know that my grandpa told me stories of hardship during the depression. I don't know if that's enough to just Yes. those stories

know that I'm scared of the stock market stock market. Stewie, spend some time thinking about that tonight because those stories, all of those things. Grandma, grandpa told me this. I saw an image of this. I heard this sto report on TV. I read this in the news. All of that stuff starts to build up and it starts to inform our our view on a particular subject. And the thing is that's okay. That's normal. But we do have to come to a point where we challenge it and we say, "Okay, this is the story I'm telling myself. Is it actually true? Is it true? Or is this just what I've been around and therefore the people that I was around believed this and therefore it became my belief?

But if I actually hold it up next to facts, I find out that that's actually not the truth. And so I love that you called in today cuz Ken and I are giving we are giving you the facts. The truth is the annualized rate of return of the stock market since inception has been hovered around anywhere between 9 to 12%, right? Depending on a given year. And so it's always going to it's always ended up up. And yes, there's been downturns, but usually it recovers very quickly within the next year or two after it's it's fully recovered and then some. And so the point of the stock market is it's a long-term it's a long-term ride, right? It's not something you hop in and hop out of. But in your case, Stewie, oh my goodness.

You pop in 600,000 and maybe you leave the other 100,000 liquid. And I mean, you're going to be a very rich man when when it comes time to retire. So well done.

Mhm. And I would be very careful about how I transported the 300,000 in cash to the bank.

What do you do? You put it in a duffel bag. Even that looks pretty obvious. If some dude rolls into your local bank and a duffel bag, you're like, there's cash in that bag.

Yeah. Be careful, Stewie. They're going to I don't know how many trips you got in there. Maybe you're wearing some old school parachute pants.

Oh man. And it Oh god. I'd think about some security on that. It's a lot of dough.

You got Can you walk Can you just walk in with that kind of money? And I don't No. Here's what I would ask. I would go talk to my local bank

and the branch and say, "Here's what I've done. Help me do this the most secure way. They they've done this before." So,

okay. Yeah. Otherwise, you're going to need some very, very muscle bound people to walk with you.

I I was putting myself in his shoes. If I tried to take that, I my I would break my car would break down. Something crazy random would happen to me.

Yeah. And you know what I mean? And you'd be on the side of the road just with the stack of cash.

Yeah. I think I'd go hire a local Brinks guy and just be like, "Lock me in the back of this thing with it and drop me off."

Yeah. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's not what you should do. Go talk to your local branch manager, get a plan, and go talk to a Smart Vtor pro. I love entrepreneurs. Don't forget guys, I started my company on a card table myself. So, I know what it's like to have people counting on you. Your team, your family, not to mention your customers. And when you're the one signing the paychecks, you can't afford to fly blind. But I'll be honest, early on, one thing that nearly sunk us was wasting time with spreadsheets that didn't add up because business units didn't talk to each other. I finally told my team, just fix it, and they did.

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That's netswuite.comy. All right. We wish we could get to every call and question here on the show. There's just so many calls, so little time. So, if you have a money question and want an answer for your situation, you can now head to our website and use Ask Ramsay. This is our free AI tool that's built and trained on our proven Ramsay principles. You get an answer the same way we'd answer it right here on the show. So, ask your question today at ramseyolutions.com and click on ask Ramsay or if you're watching on YouTube or listening to the podcast, you can click uh on the link in the show notes. You think if you if you ask it a question, it'll say in your kin voice.

No, I gotta tell you. It ain't going to do that. The I gota tell I'll tell you what it will do. It's going to give you the fundamentals, but it ain't going to give you my special sauce.

The sauce the juice the way I would answer it. Uh not going to be as pragmatic as me. I'll tell you that right now. Okay.

But gonna get you your pure fundamental answer. You'll get you Yeah, you will get you will get a Ramsey plan answer.

There you go. Damian is up in Lincoln, Nebraska. Damian, how can we help today?

Uh, I just had a question for you. Um, so I got this pile of debt that I've accumulated over the past couple years. It started with just some small consumer debt and an auto loan. Um, started working on that and then this past year I had a four-wheel accident that put me in a pretty big bind with um bunch of medical debt. I had unfortunately dropped my in or my parent I had dropped off my parents insurance and I forgot to sign myself up for my own when I rolled into my new job. So I uh got a pretty hefty pile there.

Oh man. So, yeah, I'm kind of leaning between is it a go into chapter 7 and just wipe the whole slate clean or I've gotten met to the point where my income and expenses are all leveled out and I'm actually able to start paying down debt. Um,

how much is the medical debt? Uh, 210,000. Oh, wow. Okay. Do you now have insurance currently?

Uh, yeah. Okay. Yep. I've always had it. I just forgot for the one year and I thought I'd be fine but

Oh man, you got God got, didn't you? That's the odds of that are so crazy. Okay, so the 210, is that the only debt?

Uh, no. I have 19,000 in a card, credit card debt that has went to collections. Uh 18,000 on a auto loan that I had let go to repossession. Uh 4,000 on student loans. And then the 210. Okay. Um, was the credit cards in the repo a result of this injury? Is that kind of

Tell me more about that. They would have been Yeah, they would have been prior. Um, so years I've been following you guys for like 10 years now. I had worked my way down on credit card and then uh we had moved to Lincoln and I built it back up during that whole moving process and just never paid more than the minimum. So that that was there. And then uh with all of those adding up, the auto payment was uh just killing me. So I should stop paying on it.

Oh boy. Okay. Um and but you said you're steady now. Like what's your income today? What do you make? What do you bring home every month?

So before tax I'm 82,000 a year and then plus a bonus. Um but my take-home monthly is about 4,700.

Okay. Okay. And do the bonuses do they hit like at at the end of the year? Yep. In October. And this last year we got a very minimal one. So let's see what this year ends up being. It was 2000.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I would not do bankruptcy. I know that that probably feels tempting, but I think what's going to end up happening is you don't have a whole lot of money to give these creditors. Obviously, um you have a little bit, but you don't have much. And so I would start working with them on some sort of settlement pretty soon. Uh how long have these been due? Have any of them rolled into collections?

Uh so all of the cards are the medical is I think one of them has. It was like a $20,000 one. The rest is still with the u the biller.

Yes. At this time. Yeah. Okay. So for the one that's rolled into collections, you're now positioned to make some sort of a deal. and I would just do them one by one and roll them off. Uh I, you know, whatever the smallest credit card is, I'd go over there and say, "This has been in collections for x amount of years." And I'd stack up a little bit of cash. So, for instance, uh what's the smallest credit card that you have in collections?

Uh I think there's like three of them that are about $500. Okay. Easy payoffs. Yeah. But you're not paying $500. I'd go to them and I'd say, "I can give you 100 bucks." And they're going to take it.

Mhm. And you're just going to scratch them out just like that. The thing is, get it all in writing and and I would just let them know I'd be like, "This is just the tip of the iceberg of the debt that I have." So, if you think that you're getting any more money than this, you're not. And and and just be on them the same way you're they're on you. Just call them and call them and call them and say, "Here's my offer. Here's my offer." And they might come back and say, "What about 250?" Fine. At this point, it's low enough. Yes, go ahead and take whatever deal they offer. But for the bigger ones, when you start getting into that medical debt, yeah, you're you're going to really whittle it down. And the key is try to save up, I don't know, 50% of what what it is or try to save up, I don't know, 40% of what it is cash so you can be prepared to offer that money in cash.

Okay. On the uh so with the auto one that had rolled over into collections, they are wanting to do a settlement for really cheap. Like I said, $18,000 is what I owe and they were wanting to do 900. The only thing that was concerning me is that they list on there that they will file a $1099 on that and I was kind of confused how that whole process worked.

Well, that's the least of your worries. $900 settlement on an 18 $18,000 debt on a car. You're taking that and you deal with it. So the 1099 jade, that's just their way of that's how they're writing it off and then they because they're eating this big time.

That's about them. That's you have no choice in the matter on that. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's a small amount of money. So back to Jade's point, like same thing on if somebody told you you were going to get some 1099 income and you're going to go do $1,000 worth of landscaping, you would hold back, right? 30% just to be safe.

So you're just thinking about that. talk to your tax pro because you're starting to knock stuff off. So, don't be concerned about that.

Yeah. So, what you need to be looking at is if you're trying to settle this, it's really common that you could settle a debt for anywhere between 30 to 50% of the balance if it's already in collections. So, that's kind of the range that you want to aim in. And if you know it's a couple years old, yeah, push for that that 30% of the uh of the balance. Okay? That's kind of where you want to be. You want to make sure that you have that lump sum and you want to make sure that you have it all documented. I mean, this is when you get that letter, this is the one that you laminate and you put it you put it in a ice, you you know, put it in ice and keep it forever. Okay.

It's true. I love that. Yeah. So, Damian, yeah, I mean, you are actually working through this the right way. You don't need to file bankruptcy. You just settle these things one at a time. And now the big question is, are you learning your lesson?

Oh, it is. It is learned many times over. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and here's the deal. We asked that, by the way, not to put any kind of shame on you,

but really so that there's some conviction that's developed out of this. You know what I mean? Because none of us are sitting here without anything dumb. You've heard Dave say it for decades. I got a PhD in DUMB. So, but this is the key, right? Get through this, but never again. Yeah. No, I this is not a journey I ever want to take again. That is that is for sure.

And you're going to have to deal with some I mean the the truth is uh you can't afford to pay all of these. So 1800 pay me is going to be blowing up your line. Y

and that that right there uh is more detrimental. Yeah. Speak to that because you've actually walked through that. How does not just uh Damian but other people that are experiencing give them that mindset of what their options actually are? Well, number one, it it it feels detrimental because they're calling you all the time and they it makes you feel bad about yourself, right? And that's the trap I don't want you to fall into because you do have a plan and you're sticking to your plan. And that's really what you have to tell them. And if you even choose to pick up, you know, you pick up and you say, "Hey, this is my plan.

You're next or I'm getting to you next. And when I get to you, you better be ready to make a deal." Uh-huh. So, that's kind of the way that goes. Uh I I'm more telling you it as a friendly warning. If you get to the point that you're able to make some minimum payments there, you could, but it's not really going to help you when it comes to settling it.

Yeah. Really good advice. So, hey, uh there is a way. Seems like you've got the will now and uh we're cheering you on and better days are ahead here, but you got to finish this. You got to clean up your mess and then we can rebuild after that.

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All right, let's go to Tyler who joins us now in Wilmington, Delaware. Tyler, how can we help today? So, I'm in this uh relationship where I feel like I get uh leaned on financially pretty well and I'm very young and I do pretty well as of right now. I have a lot of money saved up and I just am wondering the, you know, perspective that you guys may have on is that like a healthy relationship or should I be using this time at my age to generate more wealth than what I'm doing current?

What is the relationship? Is this a marriage? Is this dating? What are we talking about?

Dating. Okay. How long you've been dating? Uh, a year and a half. Year and a half. How much money do you make?

135. And um you said you've you've been uh putting stuff away. Do you have any debt?

No debt. And what kind of retirement situation you starting to build? Um, I max out my uh 401k and then I uh have about in my private savings account just around $100,000 making me about 18% a year.

Okay. So, tell me about the other person in this relationship. What do they do and how much do they make? um they are in uh mental health and they make around $50,000 a year with um somewhere near 70 $80,000 in debt currently.

Okay, now let's get to the crux of the call. Um yes, what do you mean by leaned on? Like let's get real here. Like we need we need an example that really bothers you. either hurt you or angered you or maybe one of each. I'm gathering all this for for Jade and I to be able to to weigh in here. So, give us some examples or one good example.

I would say like vacations and then like weekend funds, dates, everything along those lines. It's like you pay for vacation.

Yes. The whole thing. Yep. And is it manipulative in how she puts that out there? Like how is that decided? No, it's more of just like she knows that I know and that it's like really not even up for discussion.

So, who who wait? How does she know that? Yeah. Well, just that like she knows that I know she's not in a great financial situation. And like, you know, in this young day and age, I feel like, you know,

females want to do all the fun stuff and just because the situation, they may not be able to. It's just

he just went he just went females. When you say females, that already lets me know something has gone down.

I agree. That's caused you to be uh you're feeling some type of way. I haven't heard yet, Jade. Anything where she's leaning on you?

Well, that's what I'm going to get to. Tell me how the conversation goes down. Is it you saying, "Oh, it's, you know, it's July. We should probably go on vacation. What do you have in mind?" Or is it her bringing up, "Hey, it's July. We should probably go on vacation. What do you have in mind?" like tell me how the conversations go and and and I need that because it's very different if you saying hey you know let's go let's go down to Fort Lauderdale and she's like okay and and you're like hey I made the reservation for the Hilton and she's like okay and then you just go versus her saying where do you want to go uh honey and you're like well I don't know and she says well I found this really cute place I think we should go here and then you're like whoa okay right all of that matters so I want to know how it goes

I say it's more of like a oh we should do something and then like I'm a very minimalist person and then the perspective on their end gets a little starts to you know the standard starts to increase and then it just kind of goes from there.

Okay, listen I ain't saying she's the gold digger. But she I get the lean now. I think do you feel that? I want to make sure I get the female perspective. I feel the Okay, I get the lean. So

where where are you relationally with this gal? Like is this I don't I don't live with them. No.

No, no, no. I I'm not even I wasn't even getting into that. I'm saying good. Uh what's your on a scale of one to 10? 10 being she's absolutely one. I'm going to marry her no matter what. Or one being could care less if I'm in this relationship one more day. There's your extremes. Where are you at with her?

I Yeah, I feel like I'm like right in the middle. It's just like a little stuck situation. I do care about that. You know what I You care about her, but this is troubling you.

Yes. So, what we need to decipher here is the line, and Ken, you're just the man to do this. We need to decipher the line between the classic chivalous male behavior. And I know I'm I'm choosing.

I would agree. I would agree. And then what is too much and um kind of like the lean as what what we called it. So, I'm going to start by saying yes. If you take me on a date, especially like you're not living together, like there's no like intent that we are in any way beyond dating. I'm expecting the male to pay every single time.

Totally agree. And I would say yes, you should be paying for dates. You guys have been dating how many years?

Yeah. One and a half. Yeah. Yeah. So, you're paying for dates. However, when she comes up with an idea that is an expensive idea, and by the way, you get to determine what you feel is expensive. This is a two-way street.

That's right. And you're the money. So when she brings that up, you should feel free to say that feels like it's too much.

And you can explain why. I agree. And and I think it's incumbent on you to explain why. Then if she follows up and goes, well, why why then you start to go, you know what? Some of this is on me because in the past you've suggested stuff that I would not normally pay for given my views on money. and I've got a formula in place. I don't want to spend this much. You lay it all out so she knows where you're coming from. She shouldn't be guessing.

On a vacation. Yes. On a vacation. What's the chival risk behavior? I'm thinking half and half.

It's half and half. But but I'm saying he has to take that stand and and think about it ahead of time and then say no. He has to feel comfortable going, I'm not comfortable going on a $6,000 vacation.

I I I I agree with that. I agree with that. And she goes, why? You explain it. And let's say you go, and I'm making this up. You go, I'm comfortable with a $2,000 vac. Okay, great. So then you explain to her, but I think you should be paying for half of it. Well, I can't right now. We aren't going.

Or we pick something more in your budget. Yeah. And then go and let this bleed into and I probably the wrong word. Let this lead into a bigger conversation about money so that you, my friend, can go from being a five to a eight, nine, or a 10 on whether or not we stay in this relationship.

You're looking for certainty right now because Jade, I'm going to bring it back to you. You're in the weeds on this and the data and you coach people

because he's dating right now and he's on a five. Yes. If this doesn't go to some certainty on whether or not they're a good fit from a value standpoint on money, this causes how many issues down the line?

It's going to cause so I mean it's the number one number two depending on what piece of research you're looking at cause of divorce, money fights and money problems. So, if this is somebody that you're starting to go down that path of she might be the one, this is to to Ken's point, this is just the type of scenario where you can start these conversations to really see what are each of your philosophies on money. And now is not the time to try to change somebody. Now is the time to try to go, who are you for real?

Great point. You know, I want to see who you are for real and and vice versa. Yeah. Now, if she says, "Okay, I she needs to feel the weight."

Yes. Of this. And we hope, Tyler, that this goes one of two ways. My hope is is that she reveals herself. Jade's absolutely right. And so, once she reveals herself, and what we mean by that is how she views money, at which point we now get to have a very serious conversation about how you view money. And is there a bridge to where we meet in the middle? in middle being, I'll help you and guide you and teach the principles that I've been living by, right? If you're willing to do it, that's me in the middle here. And then you're going to find out really quick whether or not she values you enough to change her values about money.

Yes. But the key strategy to what Ken is saying, and this is key, and this is for anybody listening, when you bring up the money conversation, the first question, you don't say your philosophy first.

Good. You let them say first because if they really like you and you say, "Oh, debt. I Yeah, I don't do debt." They're going to go, "Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah, me too." If they really like you and they think that you right, people tend to kind of shapeshift, especially in those early stages. So, you first say,

"What's your philosophy on debt?" And just shut up. Let them talk. Don't influence anything they're saying. You need to see this. You need to hear it. Then you go, "Okay, well, would you like to know mine?"

It's a great point. So, Tyler, this feels like this is a massive, massive moment in this relatively young relationship. So, step into it and uh let's see how this plays out. But you got a great head on your shoulders.

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That's fair winds.org. insured by the NCUA. Welcome back to the Ramsay Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio alongside the incomparable fabulous Jade Warshaw. I'm just Ken. Coleman is the last name. Excited that you're with us. 88825-5225LE8825-55225 is the number to jump in. All right, let's go to Jeff in Salt Lake City. Jeff, how can we help today?

Uh, thanks for having me. Sure. Um, so I lost my job um a financial adviser, lost my job back in June of 2025. Um, I was without gain meaningful employment for gosh almost 5 months. Um, it took me took me five months to get hired on with another firm. Um, and so now I am going I mean I still have not received a paycheck for my new job and the whole situation has just been really a disaster for um my family, for my home life, for my finances. Um

Okay. How long can you How long have you been at the new job? Um I hired on in November. Um, and

what is the reason? Okay. What is the reason for you starting last November and you still haven't received a paycheck?

Um, trying to transition my old business over. Um, when I was let go from my previous firm, probably half of my my existing book of business was ready to move with me. And with everything taking so long, most of those clients have unfortunately moved on. Um,

what kind of business are you in? I'm a financial adviser. So, you left one firm and you've signed off with another firm, but it's basically straight commission. You're just that they're a place for you to hang your hat essentially. You couldn't continue to serve those others

independently until you landed at a another umbrella business. I could not. So I was I was terminated from that from my original job. Um I had been with the firm for probably eight years and when I was terminated I mean I had no I mean I could sit there and I could continue to contact them and talk with them but ultimately they wanted somebody who could you know

like do the work. Yeah. All right. So, I couldn't do that. All right. So, for sake of time, let's get into what kind of disaster has happened so that we know what we're and and and and frame the question for us. So, we need to know where you're at financially, but what can we help with specifically as you lay this out for us?

Yeah. So, so we have we have blown through um just about all of our savings. Um

how much is left in savings? Maybe 10,000. 10,000. Okay. So, how much debt do you have?

Um I think we only have about uh 15,000 in debt. Okay. And when do you expect to make the pay like have you

What's going on there? Are you finding new folks? Are you able to get the others fired back up again?

What's the reality here? It's been very slow. Um right now I'm pulling in about two clients a month. What were you doing before? What was your normal month for you before?

I mean, before I I managed to book a business of about $100 million. I mean, it I I was

Yeah, but she's how much did you make? I was for 2025, I would have had I been had I remained employed, I would have made I would have made probably 300,000 that year.

Okay. Oh gosh. Okay. So, you didn't really answer her question. When do you expect to actually get paid? I should get paid this month.

How much? But I don't The thing is it could be 5,000. Okay. Oh boy. I'm way off of where I was.

But we only have 15,000 in debt. Correct. Okay. Then what is your what is your monthly budget that you just bare minimum to take care of all the the important things? How much do you have to be bringing in? What is that number? Um, I mean, take care of everything. I mean, we've we've got three kids. We've got school tuition and and all that stuff. I mean, we're we're probably at at at 10,000 a month.

Okay. Is where I need to be to Okay. You need 10,000 a month. Can I ask a question? Um, what precludes you from being on your own as a financial adviser? What's the thing that stops you from just saying, "Hey, I Jeff, I'm my own man. and I'm my own business and I I can just run my business versus being under an umbrella because you don't really with two clients, you don't really have the luxury of somebody taking a major piece of every chunk of money that you get. You see what I'm saying?

So, I am I am considered independent at this point. I'm a 1099 adviser, whereas at my previous firm I was W2.

Okay? And that firm was taking roughly 60% of, you know, the cut. And and what's this firm taking? um they they only take about 15%.

Right. And but my my and my question remains, what's the benefit there for you because they're clearly not giving you leads?

Correct. There's no there are no leads there. There's there's really no support.

No, it's on you. I've got a good friend who just got into this business two years ago. A couple things here to fast forward this. You're not in a massive debt situation. That's the good news, right? Your problem is is your income. and and you presented at the start of this call like there's some family stuff going on, but this is this is a point where you've got to make some money like

Yeah. right now and you know how to build a book book of business. Yes or no? Yeah.

All right then. Then like bro, we're in desperate I I don't have some magic pill of advice here. Three tips on how to win as a financial planner. You actually know how to do it. You've got to do it. Now, in the meantime, I don't know what's going on and we don't have time and quite frankly, I don't think it matters as to why you got fired, what it's done to your home life, cuz you mentioned it.

But if your wife can work and is not working, we are in a season where she needs to because we have a $5,000 deficit that is hitting us really quickly and we only have $10,000 of savings left. So, we're in go get it mode. Am I right, Jade? What am I missing? Well, I just want to remind you that you're the same guy who had who did $300,000 of income last year.

You're that same guy. Um I don't think you remember that. Like talking to you, it feels like you've forgotten that you're that guy.

And that's why I'm encouraging you. I don't think you need uh you know, whatever this umbrella company is. I think you can just go out there. I think you can, in the words of Dave Ramsey, kill something, drag it home, and eat it. And I think that you're getting too hung up on these other details. I to Ken's point, you know how to build a book of business and you've done it before. Nothing is stopping you from doing it again. I think the last five months really dinged your self-esteem, but I mean Ken, he's the same guy.

Yeah. I Jeff, I'll just ask a point blank question. This is a yes or no answer. Are you dealing with a lot of shame?

Yeah. Yeah. Um, are you seeing a therapist on and off? Okay. There's a book that I'm going to recommend to you and it's a heavy heavy read, but it's worth reading. I've read it, am reading it. It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw. It's considered the the the the foremost book written on shame. I think it's really important that you grasp the concepts in that book as well as therapy. Uh, but you got to throw your shoulders back right now. We don't have time to be ashamed, but it's a real feeling. It's underneath there. But I really recommend that you read that book that you lean in. But this is circle the wagons time with your wife. Let's go. We can figure this out. We absolutely can.

And now we must. And and what I'm hearing is a guy who rightfully so is ashamed of himself. We've all been there. But man, you have so much more to give. You're going to learn a lot through this season. So let's go, man.

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membership. Get started at chmin ministries.org/budget and use promo code Ramsey. That's chmin ministries.org. org/budget and promo code Ramsey. All right, next we go to Cord Delane, Idaho. Alexandra is there. Alexandra, how can we help today?

Hi, my husband and I love you guys. Um, you guys helped us so much get out of student debt when we were first married. Um, I'm calling because I have a question with my husband and I were not in total in agreement on how to spend money. Now that we're out of debt, we are on baby step four. Okay. Um, and we're in the process of buying a home and we're trying to do it the Ramsay way. But now that we're in a better spot, just learning how to spend money now, what it looks like. Um, specifically my stepsister and my best friend are both getting married out of the country this year and I was hoping to attend their wedding even though doing so will be expensive and my husband feels like traveling like this is really like financially irresponsible and but he said if I called you guys and got your permission that we could go. So my specific question this is our favorite. You couldn't have, in my

opinion, couldn't have got two better co-hosts today because we have disagreed on these things from time to time. And I'll just tell you, I'm usually more lenient.

I don't know if we'll disagree this time, Jade. We don't know. It's starting off pretty good.

Yeah, I heard baby step four, so it's already looking good. Couple quick clarifying questions.

You said two weddings. Yes. Yeah. Stepsister and best friend. Yes. Okay. And where are both weddings? One is in Italy and one is in Sri Lanka.

Oh Neither one of those uh are discount airlines. So that's that's going to be expensive. Have you run the numbers on what these trips are going to cost? Both together.

I think together it would be about $10,000. How what what's the time frame? Are they both over the summer or are they spread out at all?

One is in May and one is in August. Oh lordy. Which one's in May? The Italy one.

Is that Is that the best friend? No, that's the stepsister. Yes. Okay. Is Is Hubs included in this number? Is he going with you on both?

He's going with me to one, not for the other though, because we have a toddler and we think it'd be too much for the toddler.

Yeah, 100%. So, by the way, it's so just clarifying, it's 10,000 for you to go to both and him to go to one,

right? Which one is he going to? The one with my steps sister in Italy. Okay, good choice.

So, the first one. Okay, good choice. I like his choice. So, do you have the money? Do you have the money set aside? Not yet, but right now with we do every dollar and we have about like 2,000 after like um retirement and all of our necessary expenses. So, I think if we save for the next couple of months, we could easily save up for it, but we haven't done so yet.

Okay. So, I love solving these with what I'm going to call the financially responsible adult checklist, which is going to give you some freedom here.

I'm glad you're doing your eyes roll. I'm already ready to decide. I'm already ready. I've already decided.

I mean, I I think I have two, but I'm giving her the framework on how we arrived.

This is good. So, there's five things in the financially responsible adult checklist. Number one, are you a person who's on a budget? Yes. You mentioned every dollar beautifully several times.

Check. Check. Number two, are you a person who is out of debt and plans to stay out of debt?

Check. Check. Number three, are you a person who carries the proper insuranceances? Now, this means, have you started your term life insurance? You've got a little one there. Uh, one of you depends on each other's income. If you haven't done that, you need to do that before you make the decision.

Okay, let's get an answer. Where are we at on that one? We both have life insurance.

Check. I had to lasso. Okay, that's number three. This one is, are you a person who uh is saving for the future? Now, this means three things. Uh, you've got your baby step one. You already did that. You've got baby step three in place. Yes.

Yes. Uh, yes. That's retirement, right? Uh, again, no. Baby step three is 3 to six months of

expenses. Yes. They she said they were on baby step four. Is that right? Okay. And you're act you're actively doing the 15% to retirement,

right? And are you actively putting something towards a down payment on a house? You mentioned that.

Yes. We're in escar right now actually. Yes. Okay. That's four out of four. That's four. And then there's a fifth one. The fifth one on the financially responsible list is, are you prioritizing generosity?

Yeah, we tithe. Listen, that's all you need. That's all you need. Everything else is you just got

The tough one to get through is gonna always be Jade. She's just tougher than me. She just is. No surprise.

I lift with weights, kid. Um, yes, you do. And, uh, showing off the guns again. Uh, so the fact that you guys can actually cash flow this, this is a no-brainer. Tell Hubs that you have two yeses.

Yes. And this is an American Idol, so you only need two. In the words of Clubber, In the words of Clubber Lang. Ding ding.

Ding ding. I love the Rocky reference. Fantastic. Alexander. It sounds like it's going to be a blast.

Have fun. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And good for you, by the way. Love that you guys. And by the way, let's just be very clear to our greater audience here. She doesn't need our permission. We're have a little bit of fun with this. But I love that you listened to Jade walk through those five boxes. That's fantastic. Uh, and in this case, I love too that they were like, I'll go to the one in Sri Lanka and I'll stay back. That's great. You don't always have to both be there.

Yeah, you don't have to do that. It's the thought that counts. Plus, let's be honest. Does any man ever want to go to a wedding, Ken?

No. I've been very clear on this. Uh, no dude ever wants to go. Even Even a destination wedding, the destination doesn't zing it up for you.

No. In fact, if Stacy said to me tonight, "Hey, we've been invited to a wedding in um Barbados."

You love Barbados? I love and been to Barbados, but I would be in but slightly irritated. And if she said to me, "Well, you don't have to go to the ceremony." Then I would be like, "Oh, I'm totally in."

Right now you're just her sidekick. Yeah, I'm just travel buddy. And buddy, we're we're there in Barbados.

I don't have to go to the ceremony. But if you say you got to go to the ceremony, I'm telling you I have a bad attitude about going to Barbados and this is my point example, which I shouldn't have. Yeah. Ever.

Now, what if it was all you have to do is go to the uh the reception? Does that change it?

No. No ceremony, only reception. No one's ever asked me this before. Yeah, that does change it.

Yeah, because I think I don't have to sit through the ceremony, all the formalities,

straight to the drink, straight straight to the wedding cake. Yeah. Well, my followup question is, is there rum at the reception?

There better be. It's in Barbados. Then I'm in. There you go. Columbia, South Carolina is where we go next. Kevin is waiting. Kevin, how can we help?

Yes. Um, I've got a scenario here and we're trying to figure out. We bought a home um one year ago. We put 10% down at 7%. We then sold our other home and we have now uh we have one year they said you can recast. We have 200,000 cash right now in the bank that we're looking at putting at recasting or refying the current to bring down the mortgage, get rid of PMI, all that good stuff. But in our new home, we're also looking at poss uh maybe 50,000 cash aside because there's certain things we'd like to do home improvements like a retaining wall, a fence, additional car parking spots, things like that. And if we want to make a good wise financial decision on return on investments and you know, and putting our money in the best place possible, we want to know what your your advice would be and what we should consider.

Okay. Uh let me just make sure I understood it back. You talked really fast. I think I got all of it. There were two houses. One sold. Now there's only one. The most expensive one. You want to put 200,000 possibly to recast it so the payment's lower. Did I catch it?

Um, we have we there was two. Yes, there was two. We sold one and now Exactly. Now we want to recast possible out of that 200k.

But you're thinking maybe hold back 50 for the for the improvements. We're kind of thinking hold back 50 because we have some home improvement ideas, but we want to make sure we don't overbuild the neighborhood. I want to know about do I you know do I get this money back or is it better to put it into recasting the the current house?

So tell me well it really most of this rides greatly on the recast. Um when you if you put the whole 200,000 on the recast is it going to get your monthly payment where it needs to be 25% of your takehome? Uh it currently is already. It's uh we our mortgage is currently within 25% of our take home pay currently

already. So then what's the purpose of recasting? Why wouldn't you just put it apply it towards the principal and just pay down the house?

Um well they said if you recast is what we were told. If you recast within a year you can put that money and it'll it'll lower the month the mortgage payment as well.

It will pay less interest. It will but less money will go to the principal. So what by you doing that you're kind of shifting everything towards um if you just had a smaller payment. The smaller payment means less goes to the principal and the the less goes to interest or the same amount goes to interest. So you're robbing your principal payment at that point. So that's why I wouldn't do that. I would just apply it to the principal if you want to pay the mortgage down.

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Code Ramsey. Exclusions apply. All right. Uh, want to do a quick followup, Jade. I know you wanted to say a little bit more about our last caller. Uh, to do some clarification. Yeah, I want to talk about the recasting because we don't get that call a lot and it's actually an interesting thing that you could put a lump sum if let's pretend you have a mortgage that's you know the payments it's it's eaten your lunch it's a little too high maybe you come into a lump sum of money maybe you've just been able to save up somehow some way whatever you come across 20 30 40 in in his case it was $200,000 that he wanted to instead of do what we teach which is apply a principal payment extra payment and just lower the the the principal, the entire balance completely. He wanted to recast it, which basically what it does, let's pretend he bought the house for 400,000. I think he told us uh it was at 7%. When you recast it, the the

the lump sum would go directly to there. And so they're now they're re recasting the balance at the new the new amount. So it' be at 200,000, but the terms are still the same. So, it' still be at 7%. It'd still be on a 30-year mortgage. So, I suggested what I suggested, which is only put it towards the principal. Don't recast because the point here is to pay the thing off fast. Like, we want you to pay the mortgage off. If he recasts it, since the terms are the same, it's still on a 30-year or a 15ear, whatever he had, and it's not going directly in that way. So, if he if he wanted to, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing, uh, if he did recast it, um, and then he still paid the mortgage as though it was the old mortgage,

that could kind of be a move. But really, the only benefit there I could see is like, I don't know, it's almost like a contingency, like if I fell on hard times, my payment would be lower. Um, but that's not really the Ramsay way. The better way here is to go go for the principal, go for paying off the mortgage, saving time. Time is of the essence so you can take that money and later on use it to build uh other types of wealth.

Love it. All right. Great clarification there. Uh the number to jump in825-5225. Kate is up next in Newark, New Jersey. Kate, how can we help?

Yes. Hi. Um Ken and Jade, first of all, I want to say thank you so much for taking my call. I'm nervous. Don't worry, we we are on your team. We're going to take good care of you.

Thank you so much. Um you're my favorite duo, by the way. I listen to you guys every day.

Well, now we're going to be extra nice now. Look what you've done. What's going on? How can we help?

My question is, um so real quick, I'll just give you my question and then whatever details you need, just ask. Uh, the question I have is, um, I don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because my husband is a spend thrift and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how much debt he's racked up in the year that we've had. This is um that we've bought our house and now we are paycheck to paycheck or house for.

What What has he racked up? $12,000 in credit card debt in a year. Okay. What is the minimum payment on that 12,000?

So, it's all different um it's six different actually seven different credit cards.

Okay. The monthly minimums Yeah. are about $715 a month. Wow. For all of them. What's your mortgage payment?

Yeah. 3,138. What's your combined incomes? So, I'm not currently working. Um well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. He makes net 140,000 a year.

Okay. And is is he feeling this weight? We know you are. Is he feeling this? I don't think he's feeling it as much as uh he's definitely not feeling it as much as I am, but I laid it all in front of him basically to show him like how like everything on paper

and um he kind of got it I think but this was back in November and at the time he had agreed he loves Clara and Suzle and um I don't I hate them but uh he thinks that it's fine to pay the due the paying four things um because no interest or whatever. So um he agreed in November not to spend on those for Christmas gifts and I thought that we were on the same page. He had agreed and come to find out he actually did use claret and suzle and he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week but we almost weren't able to make our car payment. we had to um try to get scrged around for cash to pay for our car payment.

So, this was very recent and and I I want to get Jade involved here, but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here.

What was his What were the comments? What has the conversation been? We know what happened November. Now, here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will, to make a car payment. What was the conversation then?

Um He's it's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation like he it's almost like he's digging his head in the sand. He doesn't want to face the consequences.

Okay. And a little backstory. Um he is a recovering alcoholic. Okay. Um and I I really truly believe that the spending it's because

yeah, it's what's based it's a replacement that changes the uh equation. Um Jade, I know you've got thoughts. So, I want you to weigh in here for her.

Well, I mean, definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. I wonder would he be open? Have you said that to him that you're this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this?

I have said it to him. We actually are in marriage counseling. We're in individual counseling.

Great. Okay, good. Which thankfully is covered by our insurance. We have He has very good insurance with his job and we are in marriage counseling. But so far it we're working on addressing it, but it's like

slowgoing. It's not getting anywhere. It's getting Yeah, it's very slowgoing. Okay. Yeah. I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation. I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you

uh your mortgage is 35% of your take-home pay, it seems like, which is already a little high. I mean, it's nothing to like freak out over, but when you add 715 bucks a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it. So, that's the mechanics, you know, numbers wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more,

but the truth is until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is, um, it's going to be a problem. Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in in counseling. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this. I would say I believe um clearly my husband has struggled with addiction. I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending. And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season I should be the one to handle the finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money causing those problems.

Do I had a question about that anyway? It's a very good point. Do you handle the finances or does he? So, interesting you say that. I have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together. So far, he has not really wanted to do it. He just wants me to do it. But at the same time,

I think that's good. He just recently he just recently put his direct deposit in to the joint account. Up till now, literally last week,

um it hasn't been. So, he finally put in a joint account and he he's kind of like washed his hands of it. He's like doesn't want any He left it all to me.

That is great news. Now, I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited. Practically speaking, do you both have car payments or is it just one? I thought I heard car payment.

It's just it's just his. Yeah, mine is paid off. Okay. Cuz I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off. So, we need to look at selling that car. That's going to be a tough conversation. But I'm looking at what are some quick things that I get it. I get it. That's why I acknowledged may not be the right one to go after right now. But with you now taking over the finances, what can you do? Can you cancel the credit cards? If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today. Let's make this a real pain for him. Uh Jade, I want to bring you back into that. You got about a minute. What would you practically do if you were her?

I would I would make it more formal. I love that he shifted it that way, but I would almost, like I said, with your counselor, decide the best way to do this. He doesn't need access to the money on his own. He just doesn't because he's proven that he can't control spending. And that is an addiction. Spending is an addiction. Especially, it looks like it in his case. And so, I would take a little tougher stance on that and say, "Okay, I when you say I'm in charge of the money, that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it, which this is only for a season until you can get well again, and then we'll be really 50/50 on this again." And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family uh their safety is at stake and so is yours.

All right, tax season is here. I know, gave you all collective indigestion, but you got to do it. Uh, you got to get a free checklist, by the way, and guides from us. And this is at ramseyolutions.com/taxes. So, again, the checklist and the guides that help you file, make the right decisions, get the right people on your team depending on your unique situation. Ramseyolutions.com. Edwin is up next in Minneapolis. Edwin, how can we help? Hey guys. Hey. Uh, thanks for taking my call. Um, I am in the middle of maybe deciding to make a huge career change.

As in, I currently am self-employed on my family dairy farm. I own all the cows and rent the land, but I'm not sure if that's where I'm supposed to be. and I am looking to maybe go do a uh change of career to firefighting out west or something along that line.

Okay, I'm going to step in here, Edwin, and I'm going to take a guess. Tell me if I'm wrong that you absolutely know deep down that you're not supposed to be running the dairy farm. True or false? Yeah, I don't I can't answer that specifically.

Why? I do I do I do love the animals and it is maybe something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest and I sort of felt that I was supposed to take it.

But, okay, let me reward it a different way. Okay, let's say that might happen. Let's say that right now in my ear. Kelly, who's producing our show today, she says, "Hey, Ken, we just got a call from this uh fire department out west, and they need someone like Edwin. They got a great job for him right now." Edwin, how do you react to that emotionally?

Uh, well, I couldn't take it right now. I I I didn't ask you that, Edwin. You got it. Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

I would want to take it. Okay. What would your heart do? I'm pretty excited. Okay, it's a simple question. I understand we have realities, but this is why you called the show today and so so Okay, so let's keep playing this out. Your heart would be going crazy.

But you'd have to unwind some things on the dairy farm. True or false? Right. I would have to figure out a way to keep it going or make sure that it's not just going to fall apart.

How would you do that? Keep it high level. Don't get in the weeds. What would you have to accomplish for that to be the fact?

Find somebody to run it or create a partnership with my brothers that are still in the area, but they would have to sacrifice to do that as well. And then all of a sudden it becomes about Edwin and I'm not sure that I like doing that to my family.

Okay. Is this entire business on your shoulders? Did somebody tell you that it owns the land? I am in charge of everything, running it. I own the cows. Like, I'm in charge of the incomes, expenses, everything is on my shoulders.

Okay. But that's not your dad's business. Your dad owns the land. The land is valuable whether there's milk cows on there or not. True or false?

Yep. Okay. True. So, if you shut the thing down, okay, this is horrible, but it's going to make my point. If you get hit by a bus today,

dad's land, Dad doesn't lose a nickel on the land. True or false? Oh, that would be true.

So, whose business is the dairy business? The dairy business is mine 100%. And Edwin doesn't want to be in the dairy business, but you've calculated this thing and you've you've tied your responses to the fact that if you go chase your dream and do what you really want to do and fight fires out west that you're somehow letting the family down. But best I can tell by your words, Jade, if I missed something.

I don't think so. That this is actually your business to decide what you want to do with. True or false?

True. So, it feels like Edward would uh would definitely cut my cut me off probably from my family as far as my dad my dad would not be happy. My dad would not be happy. He spent his whole life building this thing up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You just told us that the dairy business is yours.

He just has the land. He's just been offering the land. Yeah. I mean, like, he he literally sold me the cows and like nobody else on the family is technically at home right now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And he's Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Edwin, stop. You paid your dad a fair price for the cows.

I did. Yeah, he didn't give them to you. No, he didn't. I I got to tell you, I'm not sure that you're correct. I think you're scared to death to leave your family and you've concocted some drama that may not be true. Is that possible?

That that is possible. Well, I'm going to tell you, I'm working with my brothers on this, but

Well, what do they say about all this? Well, they're both on the fence of you should go, and then there's some that say you should stay home. And

all right, I think the time has come on this call. You got All right, Edwin. I think the time has come on this call

to where you need to hear a different voice. And my kids, I could tell them everything, the gospel truth, great wisdom, and they'd not listen to me. And a coach or a teacher tells them, and they listen. So, I'm checking out because I've already walked you through. I didn't even tell you anything. I walked you into a corner. You're terrified. You're terrified. And you're letting your fear all of a sudden become ration uh the rationale for you to not leave. I'm going to bring Jade in who's been listening the entire time. She's the voice you need to hear. Jade, I I give you the balance of my time.

I really think that you are well. Yeah, Ken Ken has nailed it. I'm only going to reiterate what he said. I think you're well within the bounds to to to pursue firefighting.

I think it is your business. Therefore, you get to decide what happens with it. It sounds like you know what that would look like or what that could look like. And it's okay. I I also if you are correct in what you think might happen as far as the reactions of your family, they get to react and you can't control what their reaction is. And it's not your job to control what their reaction may or may not be. You can speculate about it, but you can't control it. And you certainly can't let someone else's reaction of what they think you should be doing with your life stop you.

You can't cry over spilled milk. Very true. Okay. Yeah, that's right. You can't do that.

I mean, I've been sitting there. I mean, what are we doing here? Uh, I think mom and dad will be proud. I think the fact that your brothers told you to do it, and and here's the other side of this, Edwin, and we've said this a million times on this show. If you don't do this,

I know. I've heard it. Okay. Well, then you know what I'm about to say. If you don't do this for the reasons that you've given us, you're going to end up resenting people

that you care so deeply about that. You by the way just made an assumption about

or what I will regret myself for not taking a leave. Well I went ahead of that the resentment becomes becomes of the regret. So regret hits us first and then we start looking for places to put the blame on

and we put the blame on the family members who actually never had the power as Jade so beautifully said. So my point is I jumped ahead. Resentment comes after regret.

Yeah that's very true. Listen, man. Eat more chicken. Sell them dairy cows. Let's go. I got no puns left. That's all I got. I only had two,

but I think you got to do it, Edwin. And I'm as serious as I can be for a moment. You're a young man who has a who has a feeling in your heart. The reason I started off this call, and Jay's heard me do this 100,000 times, and I do it privately, too. The test is always the heart test. You cannot put enough value on how your heart and your body feel. And if anybody's ever felt it, the call to something or a draw to something, it is undeniable. Is it not Jade?

It's you can't you can't stop it. You cannot stop it. So what say you what say you is who cares if your dad has a cow over you selling this business? That's it.

You You got to move on. Oh yeah. Look what you did. See, I had nothing left and you came in over the top.

The puns are flying. The puns are flying because the truth is so clear. It's time to move forward. And by the way, this is your life.

Okay. It's your life. You got to make the calls for your life, man. And and boy, you're going to go out there and you're going to do some great work out west. So,

I hear the excitement already in his voice. I too. I feel like you feel a little lighter right?

Yeah. No, it's definitely. Listen, if you want to keep one of the cows, keep one of the cows. I think it'd be so cool to have a pet dairy cow. They're great looking animals.

Keep the ones with the bangs, the bangs in their face. They're They were always my favorite cows at the fair.

Oh, yeah. They're sweet. The dairy cows. And here you are making a sandwich out of it. Ken,

I'd move if I could. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw is alongside the phone number is88255225.8825-5225. Toby's up next in Phoenix, Arizona. Toby, how can we help?

Well, I have um I've built up some debt. I'm 62 years old and about ready to claim social security, but um I have about $79,000 in debt. And I got a letter from the consolidating to consolidate it by stopping your credit cards. And so that was the first question. I've I've kind of listened over and look and looked at the show. It doesn't you know like that's a bad idea from what I hear you guys saying or is it a bad idea or I mean and I own three houses.

Okay. Tell us about one of those houses. I'm going to go short answer likely yes. I I short answer yes. Debt consolidation it is not the answer to this situation. It rarely I would never suggest it as the answer. The reason is what it's doing is something you could do, which is not pay your debts, pull the money, and then when they're ready to settle, now you can make a settlement. That's all they're doing, and they're just doing with with fees attached. So, you don't need help doing that. Um, tell us about the three houses because your your solution is likely there.

Well, I the thing is I have renters and I rented for forever and to sell one of the houses, I'd have to be putting a family out.

That's true. and they really aren't in that position. And I've I so far I haven't been able to do it and and and I have problems there just cuz they they have five kids.

Are your prices competitive or are you giving them some sort of a deal that they wouldn't be able to get elsewhere?

I I I'm probably very I'm very low on on that house that I would sell the other ones.

Let's go to the other two. We'll set let's set that one aside. We appreciate your heart. What about the other two houses? Give us the numbers.

Um, one house rents for $1350. Um, it would sell for 170,000. How much would you make on that?

Uh, oh, I don't owe anything on the houses. Okay. So, it's all it's all profit.

All right. That's house number two. Let's go to house number three. Um, house number three is a it's basically a rental apartment, but it it's a home. Um, but it's not very big. How much is it worth if you sold it today? How much would you pocket?

It's on my property on my house where my own house. Okay. So, I I couldn't sell that part of it. You know what I'm saying? It's just a spare house.

Okay. So, and you just happened to figure out a way. And just just for the heck of it, what is the house that the family of five or the family of seven with five kids, how much is that house worth? um down down the street in one um one other house went for 170.

Okay. So, this is this is a no-brainer to me. Ken, can I ask a question before you because I know what you're going to do. I just am curious for a guy who's got two cash houses. Why do you have $79,000 in debt?

I spent too much. But you paid off these other houses, right? Well, I paid off the other houses a while ago. Basically, I paid cash. I I turned in my 40 or my my retirement when it dropped so much in 2008. I got upset that they took all that money. I lost a lot. And so, I took the rest of it, paid the fees, and bought these houses.

Oh gosh. So, you have nothing in a 401k? Oh, I have nothing. No. Understood. So, your income is these houses. your income will be uh tell then then go back and tell me again what's the rent from house number one with the family of five. What what's your rent on that? What do you take?

11,100. And and what goes away in in in fees and upkeep? What what do you actually pocket as profit from that house?

Um there's not much fees and haven't been much fees and upkeep over the last couple years. Well, I mean, certainly you take

Certainly you take money out in case the AC goes out or in case it needs a repair.

Uh, I'm a plumber. Okay. So, I kind of fix things. I own a pl a plumbing unit. For round numbers, for round numbers, I'll use the 1100, but I want to encourage you to know what the numbers are less upkeep because that's going to give you a clearer picture of how well this is doing. Um, tell me tell me the rent on number three, the one that's on your property.

Uh, a,000. A,000. So, so far we've got 2100. And what's it take? Are you going to be drawing? You said you're going to draw social security here soon. What will that be?

Yes. Um, 2,000. 2,000. Do you think you can hold on until later so you can get a higher amount?

Um, no. I I've already signed up for it and I don't know some health problems. I'm not sure. I want to wait.

Are you currently employed? Okay. I work for myself. I own a plumbing business.

Okay, great. Locally. What do you pay yourself out of the plumbing business? Um I I I basically don't know. I pay the I pay for the plumbing parts and the plumbing bills and then I pay my taxes at the end of the year.

Are you busy straight checking? Are you busy? Um, I work as I work I work as much as I want every day. Okay.

I don't push it as hard as I used to work 8 to 10 hours a day. Well, you got no you got no retirement. You got no retirement. So, you need to sell at least one of these houses and clear up the debt and then Jade walk you through. You've got to start reinvesting in now.

Yeah. So, I mean, here's the thing. We need real numbers. I have a feeling obviously you don't have a budget. What I'm gathering is you're bringing in somewhere around 4,000 to 4,100 a month plus whatever plumbing you do. We don't know what that amount is. Um the equation we need is how much does it cost for you to run your lifestyle minus the debt cuz we're going to pay the debt off. So we need to find out how much does it take to keep the lights on, keep the water going, keep food on the table, keep the vehicles running. Um if it's 4,100, you're okay and and you can make this work. Uh what I would suggest is just what Ken said. We're going to sell house number two and we're going to take the, you know, 79 of the 100,000 and we're going to pay off the debt and then you're going to take 90,000 and I would say keep 3 to 6 months of expenses out. Keep that in a high yield savings account and then the rest you're

going to plop it in some nice mutual funds. And if you if you can after this call uh go to ramseolutions.com uh/smartvevestor I believe is what it is. And I I want you to get with a Smart Investor Pro because investing some of this money is going to be helpful for you. It's not going to be the break free point for you. I think at this point um I think at this point for you keeping these paid for um uh real estate is going to help you live. Like you can't afford to sell these just yet. So keeping the rent on them is probably going to be a big a good move for you.

And if you get to the point where you can no longer be a landlord, you're selling those and you're popping those into a 401k as I'm sorry, into a Roth IRA as well.

Really? So, you don't think you should sell one to clear the 79? If he sells it, he doesn't have any income.

I told him to No, he's got No, no, no. I told him to sell number two. Okay, good. Oh, okay.

I told him to sell I'm talking about the other two. The one that's on his property. He can't sell that one anyway.

I agree. But I would tell you the one with a family of seven with five kids, appreciate your heart,

but they need to at least be paying market rent. That's true. And then at the same time, if you need to unload that

to take care of yourself, you can give them plenty of advanced notice to where you're not kicking them out.

That's true. That's true. You can't just be the, you know, whatever you've fashioned yourself to be this hero here. Um, it doesn't make you a bad guy. there's a way to go about it in a way that does not, you know, make life for them really uncomfortable and stressful. But that's something to be thinking about. And I agree, you need to sit with a Smart Ver Pro tomorrow and begin to plot out your future.

It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here. I know some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th than face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is complicated, get in touch with a Ramsay trusted tax pro today. That way, they can take the stress off your shoulders once those tax forms come in and teach you how to keep your tax bill as low as possible. But don't wait. Ramsey can book up fast. Go to ramseyssolutions.com/taxpro to find one who serves your area with excellence. That's ramseyolutions.com/taxpro.

All right, the Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by Y Rei. If your private student loans are in default and other lenders said no, why refi could be your next step. Why refi was built for this situation, helping borrowers refinance with a low fixed rate and an affordable payment so you can get back to winning with money. Check out yrefi.com/ramsey. That's the letter yfy.com/ramsey. It may not be available in all states.

All righty. Today's question comes from Ashley in South Dakota. She says, "Jade, Jade mentioned on a recent show that her husband saves his personal fund money out of their budget to make larger purchases. What are the logistics of that? How and where is allocated money set aside and tracked so he knows how much he has in that fund?"

Oh, I love this spent each month. Okay. And I know I know how he does this. You do. You might need to You might could take this part, Kim.

Yeah. Um Okay. I I would just go out on the limb and just say this is what Sam and I do. Okay, this is how it goes in the Warshaw household, you know. Don't at me. Okay, so on the budget, we have a certain amount of money. Um, fun money. One line is for Jade and one line is for Sam. It's the same amount for each of us. It's there every single month. And it used to be for the longest if you didn't use it, you'd lose it. It's like if you don't use it, it's going to roll into savings. It's going to roll. It's going to go somewhere. So, you may I always use mine, but Sam was really bad about using it. And so, he finally was like, I'm going to pull this money out and just stack it up because he's the type

a he has expensive taste, Ken Coleman. I know. And it's not, believe me, it likes things that one month of fun money can't buy. Okay.

And that's fine. So, he stacks it up. I'll be honest with you. I don't know where he puts it.

You don't? It's somewhere in the house. I totally know where he does. Where is it?

It's in a drawer. It's in the sock drawer, I think. So, okay. Don't quote me on the socks,

but uh he and I were hanging out recently. I think this may have this came up on the show. He pulled off a great surprise for the fan. He did. And I don't want to reveal stuff I'm not allowed to reveal, but he and I were talking about it. I knew about it ahead of time. And he told me, he was like, "This is this is really an expensive surprise." And I said, "Dude, you're making memories." And he did. He did.

And but it was because he stacks it. Yeah. In that drawer, wherever the drawer is. And then he was like, "Oh,

it's months and months, months and months." Sam has always been a squirrel since I've met him. He He stacks cash. That is what he does. I'm the spender. Well, anyway, uh yeah, he stacks it up. I'm sure as far as the question, how does he know how much he has? I think he's just counting it. Like I think

he revisits it every once in a while. Uhhuh. And I bet you he counts it when he adds to it.

Yeah, he probably does. He has a ballpark idea. Yeah, he he probably keeps a ballpark idea in his head and when he feels like he's getting close, he probably counts it. Now, I Jade could care less. I'm telling you right now,

I don't know how much money he has over there. I don't care if I went home today and said, "I want to know how much money you have. Show me where it is." He would do all of those things. So, it's not even a question. Um,

and I know like he was saving up. He wants to buy a golf cart. He was saving up to do that. Yeah. He saved up and bought the He and he can buy whatever he wants. He saved up and bought a real life replica Ninja Turtle suit from the the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the '90s.

A lot. Yeah. Not a replica, like legit costume. Legit that an actor would have worn on the movie.

Yeah. It's on display in his office. It's unbelievable. It's pretty crazy. But what was great is like, and this is a great story because he said to me the night, he goes, "Do you think this is insane?" And he told me how much the thing was going to cost. And I go, "Do you have the cash sitting in your drawer?" He goes, "Yeah." and then some. I was like, "What are we talking about?

This is a done deal." Because it was months and months of a line item that stacked up and then it was also something that made memories. I I literally was like, "What are we talking about? You have to do it."

Yes. Great. And he did. So anyway, that's how he does it. That's how he does it.

It's not real scientific. And I think uh I think it is on par with how fun money should be spent. Like who says it has to be all it's not a FSA. It's

your personalities are different. So, if we mean it and we put it in the budget, then it's yours to do and you spend yours every month.

I uh I I I have a little bit saved. All right. Let me ask a question, and you can you can uh choose not to answer, but I think America would like to know.

Give us an example or two of something you have recently bought with your fund money.

Oh boy. Uh whether whether you saved or you went all in on something very small and reasonable,

I don't remember the last thing I bought. It was probably some clothing or shoe item. Like it's usually clothes or clothes or shoes. Okay. Well, there it is.

But I'm about to buy a hair dryer. It's $500 and I saving up for it. Yeah. It's called the Rev Air and it's amazing.

Is this one that you sit under the 1970s? No. It works the opposite. It works like a vacuum. So, it sucks your hair in and then it you don't like there's no tension. It sucks your hair into the tube. Sorry, what I'm doing with my hands.

It dries inside. Yeah. And then it comes out dry and straight. And you can set it on settings. So if you have your curly hair, it keeps your hair curly. If you have straight, it straightens it out.

Does it Does the owner's manual recommend that you do that with another adult present? No. Your emergency contact. It sounds a little risky to me. The way you described sucking in your hair

and what happens if it like takes your ear off? It won't. It's it's it's gentle. It's gentle. But that's what I'm saving my fun money for. So the point here is guys,

you need you need you need fun money on your budget number one if you're beyond baby step two and three and it's okay to save it up.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. Would you do you support this message? Oh, 100%. And I I support the fact that you're taking on a somewhat physically risky haird dryer.

Yes, I promise it's all right. I I'm a little concerned about it, but as long as again Sam is around,

he's around. He'll be okay. He can help out if something goes ary. Melissa is up next in Chicago. Melissa, how can we help?

Hi, I have a question about a student loan debt, but it is not my student loan. Um, my daughter is 27 and she's been graduated for a few years now, and I know her loans are in forbadance. And while she was growing up, I was a single mom. I'm still single, but I had one income and I wasn't able to help her save a lot for college. So, I'm in a better position now, and I really want to come up with a plan to help her pay these off, but make it motivating for her to do so. So financially, you know, her being an adult, me being a mom, like where should I go with that? Like offering her money or I just don't know how to quite make her cuz she hasn't been paying on them because she's a teacher and she's in the low income category right now. So she's kind of been burying her head in the sand and I've been listening to you for like four months now and student loans, student loans. And I feel like I skipped over

that baby step because I wasn't able to do it at the time and now I can help a little bit. So, I don't know where I should step, how far I should step into this.

Well, I love that you're She hasn't asked for any help, might I add. She's never asked for any help on them.

I mean, I love the heart that you would even want to help. I think that's very sweet and and very kind. My first order of business it would be to determine if you're in a position to help. So, how old are you?

47. Okay. And tell us about your financial snapshot. Do you have any debt? I have no debt.

No debt. My home. Great. and emergency fund saved up six months. Love that for you. And you're actively investing the 15%.

Correct. Okay. And so I mean I'm going to jump in real quick because we only have about 30 or 40 seconds. The question I have is is how much income above and beyond your expenses do you have flexibility with every month?

Uh I have probably 1500. Good. Flexible. And that's what you would spend or what would you give her?

I travel a lot. I travel a lot. So, hey, no shame in your game. So, tell Jade what are you thinking? What? Tell Jade what you think you're going to contribute. What what you've thought about.

I was thinking I say, "Hey, let's get going. Whatever you put down, I will match 50%. I want you to have some skin in the game, but you need to start." She's got a little

I like the matching thing because it incentivizes her to make payments as well. My only caveat on this is you must make the payment directly to the debt. We're not going to just give her the money.

Okay. Okay. So, get a hold of all of her information to do that directly. Yep. And she makes the payment first and you make the payment second.

Oo. Okay. That way that way it's it's on the up and up. That's a pro tip there. I like that. That's pro tip.

That is that's that's why she's in that chair there. I love that. Hey, Melissa, you're a good mom. Thanks for calling. Good.

I think Jade gave you some great advice. I would walk that out to a tea. Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade and I'm pumped for the new year and I hope you are too. But the problem is most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan. You know how it is. I'm gonna save money or I'm gonna get my financial act together. But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out. Listen, don't play yourself. I want you to win. And our Every Dollar app is the game changer you need. In 15 minutes, Every Dollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money right now. And every day, the app coaches you with ways to find extra money so you can beat debt and build wealth faster. It's like having me in your pocket, helping you stay on track all year long. So, don't just wish your money works out. You can be the one to actually make it happen this year.

Download the Every Dollar Budget app and get started right now for free. All right, let's go to Lisa in Las Vegas. Lisa, how can we help?

Hi, thanks for taking my call today. You bet. What's going on? So, I have a So, I have a question. I've been This is I've been remarried. This is my second marriage. Same for him. We've been married 4 years. And he still refuses to combine finances no matter what comes at us. Um, he was recently laid off after being at a company for 25 years, um, about four months ago. And after that, he still refuses to combine finances. So, I don't know. My question is how do I move forward despite that decision?

So, first things first, if he's not making an income, how is he living if he refuses to combine finances?

Um, he's getting unemployment um in recently. I did not know he was gambling. Um, like

Well, I didn't know this till he um won 50,000 like 30 days ago. Uh-huh. So, he's living off of that. What kind of gambling are we talking about?

Um, he bets I guess online for the football game. Sports betting, man, that's a problem.

Okay, that makes this make more sense. When you were first talking, um, Lisa, I had the thought I thought people who don't want transparency are generally trying to hide something. Not always, but a lot of times that's especially if they're like adamant about it,

then they gaslight you and say, "Well, I don't trust you." Yeah. Okay. So, this is a big deal. Any type of um I I don't know if it's an addiction. I mean, gambling in and of itself, you know, it's it's it can be fine to place a bet on something obviously, but it seems it seems like there could be more than meets the eye to his gambling simply because it's been used as a front to keep you out of his business financially. So you

may be say again I feel like he's not I feel like he's not gambling like thousands and thousands got lucky this time.

Uh based on the income that he makes and he still pays all the bills. So like about a year ago I was like you know what if you're not going to save I'm done paying any bills.

How do you know he's not taking out debt? I check his credit score. Okay. Okay. Okay. So there is some transparency. Yeah.

Okay. Um, what do you think? You know him better than Ken and I. What do you think is the reason that he doesn't want to combine finances? Is it he got burned in his previous marriage?

Not necessarily. I don't think um I don't think so. It just didn't work out. Um he just says he doesn't trust me. And I just want to give you like a little glimpse of what my financial situation looks like. When I came into marriage, um I had just finished building a triplex and since getting married, we I've paid it off since it was pre-marriage. So, I get income off of that. I work two jobs just because I I like it, not because I have to. So, it's not like

You're a hard worker. Is there anything relationally that would give him reason not to? Like, can you think of And you don't have to tell us if there is exactly what it is, but is there anything relationally that could cause him to go, I'm not sure if I trust her. If there is, it's just something that he has to work through. Not necessarily something I've given him to hold it against me.

But do you know of anything that could be there? Even if it's his to work through, do you know of what that could be? And again, you don't have to say it specifically but

how? Not really. I mean, I haven't done anything, you know, to make him feel insecure that I'm going to steal all the money. That

does he tell you the reason he doesn't tr if you ask him straight up, hey, why? What is the reason that you don't trust me? What What is it? What does he tell you?

Um because I wouldn't combine finances in the beginning. Um but I had no money in the beginning. So there was really nothing to combine.

Got it. So that was that leads me to did you guys discuss this at all before you got married?

So we did and we did open a checking account in the beginning to combine our finances. Um, but again, I wasn't putting any money in it because I had no money when we met.

But he wanted to combine he wanted to combine finances when you got married. Yeah, he was open to it. But little by little he started um putting his trick u his work money into another account and little by little like that communal account stopped being used. So, it's kind of like we went back. But every time I downloaded the apps,

I want to go back to that because I feel like I heard a couple of different things. First you said he doesn't trust me because in the beginning he wanted to combine finances and I didn't. Then it changed to well I would have but I didn't have any money. Then it changed to well he stopped putting money in the account. Right? So already that story shifting has me

has a question mark over my head over over what's really going on? How are you guys really talking about money? It how is he perceiving what you're saying in your actions? cuz I I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time

perceiving it myself. Agree. If you if he was on the phone with us, the first thing I would have said after hearing all this is you guys need to go sit with a marriage therapist who is objective and and guiding you both at the same time. You guys there you're like ships in the night a little bit. There's some stuff going on. You both come from previous marriages. you you got to own it and go, we aren't on the same page and if we don't get on the same page, this is gonna fall apart. So, now's a good time. Doesn't sound like things are completely on fire, but um yeah, you guys just you just don't sound like you're doing marriage the way that it's supposed to be done. And that's just like, hey, we're actually trying.

Doesn't mean we're perfect, but we're trying to be on the same page. And I just don't feel like that's happening. and and I think you need an impartial professional to help you get there.

Yeah, I would agree with that. I don't think that this is um a numbers or really a money conversation, per se.

Yeah. Yeah. I And and again, I think there's a bigger issue here and I put you on hold because I want Jay to teach to this.

This is a good example of why we talk about combining incomes when you get married. It it just So, let's go back. This is it's almost like a refresher. Why do we teach it and and how does this call kind of play it out to where we go this is the potential pitfalls even though this is not I don't think a crisis yet.

Yeah. So I mean there's the relational benefit then there's the actual financial benefit, right? Financially it makes sense. Two incomes are better than one. You know two heads are better than one. You go further faster together, right? That's just kind of like the the headline version of that. I don't think anybody would really argue with that. Now, of course, much of those um isms matter with who you married, right? You don't if you married a ball and chain, you ain't going anywhere fast, right? So, there's part I understand that. I want to know I want you to know I know that. Um so, marrying the right person obviously matters to that equation. Uh then there's the relational side, which is why marrying the right person matters. The relational side guys is when you can combine finances that means that there's a level of trust and a level of transparency in marriage that is needed to function properly. You

can't function properly in marriage with someone you don't trust. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you wouldn't be willing to give your passcode to that you wouldn't be willing to let them see all of your purchases. Because then you have to ask yourself what why am I hiding this? Why am I hiding this specifically from them? Why do they feel the need to hide from me? There it unlocks so many questions um within the the relationship, which can be a good thing in this case because now we're starting to head on the path of

because trust is a two-way street, right? And I love how you're pointing this out because I could be sitting in this situation going, "Okay, I don't trust you." And then if we dive into it with a therapist, you go, "Well, what are the reasons you don't trust?" And it's not something they've actually done. is something that has been done to you.

Possibly. It could be. Possibly. Yes. It's not always that clean. But can we also talk about and I want to say this with the caveat. I've only been married one time. Sam Warshaw is my only husband. But I do find

Well, except for the Sam being my Stacy's my wife. Yeah. Good clarity. I do find that on this show, we do find this a lot in second marriages. Yeah. And it's almost like there's it's almost like there's a framework that we have for first marriages, but we don't carry that framework in, which is the all-in I'm in. I'm with this person. da da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d we don't carry that into the second marriage and it's due to hurt I'm sure or I got burned or man they really out did a number on me and I think you have to fight really hard if you're in that second marriage seat to honor the same

vows and principles that marriage really is which is I am giving all of me to all of you and we are becoming one flesh that really is what marriage is about at the core

I heard John Legend in the background around when you were saying all of me. I can't do John Legend. Not even going to try. I was ready for it.

No, it's terrible. I would just butcher it. But great advice and that's why we teach it. That's as plain of an explanation as you're going to get. Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsay. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsay principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to ramseysolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramseyolutions.com.

All right, our scripture of the day comes from John 3 27. John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven." And our quote from Ronald Reagan, "The American dream is not that every that every man must be level with every other man. The American dream is that every man must be free to become whatever God intends he should become." All right, our next person up is Zach in Columbus, Ohio. Zack, how can we help?

Hi, how you doing? Good. How are you, sir? Longtime follower. Oh, pretty good. um longtime follower of the baby steps. Um I have purchased my dream car. I've owned it for about four years now,

which is what I'm uh so it's a 2017 Dodge Challenger PA edition with a manual transmission.

Okay. Um it's got only 16,000 miles on it. I bought it with 13,000. So I put about 3,000 four years.

Um treated as a, you know, Sunday driver type thing only in the summer. Um, it's the same year that my son was born, so kind of sentimental to me.

Okay. Um, I'm on baby step four, five, and six, and I hate debt. I've gone through baby step two twice now. Um, first time to pay off $140,000. Second time was $113,000. Um, so all I'm left on is my mortgage and it's driving me crazy.

How much? So I took $144,000. I just made a payment of 7,500 on Monday from 152 down to that.

What is your anticipated payoff? Because I know you're thinking about it. Uh 36 months.

Wow. Okay. Just around the corner. So, what's your question? Well, um you know, I bought this car with the intention of keeping it forever. I wanted my grandkids one day to find it in the barn type thing.

Okay. Um, but you know, I'm I'm contemplating, you know, if I sold this car, I could pay off 21% of my remaining mortgage tomorrow.

What's that number? Um, so I could sell the car wholesale 31 and I could sell tomorrow. If I sold it retail uh to another buyer, probably could get about 35 for it,

I got to tell you. So, I mean, if you want to sell it, you can. I wouldn't. Okay. You got you got two no sales here.

I mean, you sat you you you spent way more time explaining the car than the problem, which means you love the car. And then don't don't tell us it's on your child's birthday and all these other things and

you want them to find it in the barn one day. Come on. I mean, here's the deal.

Are you financially responsible? Yes or no? Yes, sir. Are you on track to pay that house off in 36 months?

Yes, sir. What are we doing here? Yeah. Like, here's the thing. You sell that car. Let's just play this out.

Let's fast forward. You sell the car and let's say you uh split the difference. You get 30,000 for it. Okay. And you put that on the mortgage. How much time is that going to shave off the 36 months?

Eight months. Eight months. Oh, so not worth it. Now, what do you think? Yeah. And and that's where I'm stuck is is No, you're not.

Then I get into thinking of, you know, if I do keep it forever, um, you know, just the brakes alone is $5,000 on this car.

Okay. But let's I I want to I'm going to fight for this for a second because we're talking about 8 months or a a legacy. Cuz when you said, "I want them to find it in the barn."

Yeah. We're talking about that is a long expansive time. So, when you're really saying it's a it's it's a it's a question of time here. Which time matters more? The eight months that it's going to shave off my debt-free journey or the years and years that I'm going to drive this car in the summertime with my kids, uh the the the thing that I hope to leave to them, right? And don't get me wrong, you're going to do what you want to do, and no one's going to be mad at you. I just want to help you see the value of what you what you were intending to do.

Zach, I don't think you think you deserve it. Yeah. And that that's one of the things with this car. It was uh you know, I graduated high school with a 1.8 GPA. I've worked my way up from the ground up. Didn't go to college, got married at 19. Uh put my wife through college. finally seemed to have made it and and bought my dream car that I never thought I could have and want to pass down to my kids and they love it. Looks like a Hot Wheels car to them. Um but but at the same time, the security

of a paid for house, no debt and but you've already you're already on track for that. And if you really needed the money for that car, you could sell it tomorrow. It's an actual in this case, it is a bit of an asset.

Yes or no? Okay. Yes, sir. Okay. So, I don't think you think you're good enough. You know how I know it? You said you said 1.8 GPA. You threw that out there and it's a little bit of a badge of honor, but it still's got some shame attached to it. Yes or no?

Yes, sir. Okay. So, you don't think that you're good enough for that car and you think you're being irresponsible by having that car? You threw out the $5,000 brakes. Well, two responses to that. Now, I'm going to fight for it. Yeah.

Two responses. Number one, you're a guy who's paid off over six figures in debt twice. That guy, yes, sir,

can put away a little bit of money each month, right, for car repairs, and you're driving that thing so little it's going to take twice as long to repair those brakes as it would if you were driving it every day. True or false?

That's true. Yes, sir. Stop making excuses to buy in to this narrative about yourself that's incorrect. We're talking to a guy who's very responsible. We're talking to a guy who loves his kids and only he happens to love a really cool car. And I'll bet you don't have many hobbies.

No, I work. I come home and push drive the car and that's about it. Then don't sell the car. Don't sell the car.

We've already ruled. There's no more discussion here. Don't, you know, gavel to the table.

You and I have had many discussions today, but this brings up another really good discussion um with money. The thing there there's something about money that it does. It scratches the itch of us feeling like, okay, I've done the responsible thing. I've made up for the past. I have, right? And you're trying to set um success there for your family or whatever it may be for you. The hard thing with money and the thing that we have to remember is it is a moral like it's just a tool out there. However, I'm going to say it has a magnetism to it.

There's a there's a quality that it always moves the goalpost further and further and it takes us with it. And it's like the goalpost goes there and like a magnet we go with it and then it goes there and we go further and you have to fight really hard to go well wait a second before it was a really great win to get debtree and then we were fine with like okay we'll pay out the house d and then if you don't fight that it pulls the joy of you living your life because it pulls the goalpost a little bit further and you're like h I got to do that now and oh I got to do and you're stealing your own joy from yourself because you're letting that magnet pull you further. And you have you just have to be careful. Don't give me I'm Ken. I'm all for success. I'm all for I am a very um

I love achieving. So I'm not taking that away from anybody, but you just have to be careful.

Yeah, I agree. And again, you talk a lot about in your in your last book, the bestseller, the emotions of money. And we can't forget that those emotions are based on experiences

in our lives around money. So, we didn't we didn't unpack this with Zach, but I'll guarantee you the same patterns where he talked about I was a 1.8 GPA. I got married at 19. Here's what I heard. I did things the untraditional way. I did things in a way that no one recommends. Everybody says go to college, so therefore he wouldn't have gotten married. Maybe he was playing out a narrative that said

he was proud of himself and rightfully so, but he did everything the hard way. Yeah. And and not the way that you're supposed to, right?

And so then you also go, okay, so there's those emotions which I touched on, but what we don't know is what kind of background he had. What was the environment like growing up in his house around money? How did people view money? Did his dad, did he hear his dad go, "We'll never own a nice car." And so is there a level of And I don't know. I'm I'm projecting, but that's where you talk a lot about about the emotions around money, and we've got to master those.

That's right. Yeah. We know this money touches every area of life. And because of that, when we teach something like the baby steps or even a really simple thing of saying, "Hey, for a little while you're going to sacrifice short-term for a long-term gain, right? You might tell somebody to sell the car. I might tell somebody to, you know, stop getting your nails done." And it's never just that. It's how could you tell me uh how could you tell me to sell my car? Don't you know that when I grew up, you know, we only had one car and I had to walk to school and I didn't have gloves cuz my Right. and it we spin out to whatever we remember. So, just remember that money is very emotional.

By the way, she goes into great detail in her best-selling book, What No One Tells You About Money. Can get it wherever books are sold. And remember this, folks, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026"?

Ken Coleman (Guest), Jade Warshaw (Host), Steve (Host), Stewie (Guest), Damian (Guest), Melissa (Guest), Zach (Host).

What is "Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026" about?

The discussion focuses on the detrimental impact of financial decisions driven by emotions, illustrated through a caller's ongoing struggles to assist his mother, who continues to accumulate significant credit card debt despite prior financial assistance. The conversation emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and making informed decisions to achieve financial stability.

What is mentioned in this The Ramsey Show episode?

16 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ramsay Show, Ramsay Solutions, Mario (Sherry Coleman's brother), Jade Warshaw, Baby Steps, Dave Ramsey. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Stop Letting Emotions Ruin Your Finances | February 11, 2026"?

The episode runs 2 h 6 min; the transcript is about 23,429 words in 476 timestamped sections.

More from The Ramsey Show

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 11, 2026.