The Pathetic Life of Stalkers

What this episode is about

A quick overview of stalking: it examines real-life examples from police body cam footage, highlighting how stalkers rationalize their behavior, the tension between intent and actions, and the impact on victims, with reflections on related personal stories and a cautioned look at criminal consequences.

Key takeaways

• Stalking thrives on misread signals: fixation converts routine museum-like admiration into dangerous, real-world pursuit.
• The 'communicate via art' excuse reveals delusion: jargon like 'muse' masks clear boundary violations and coercion.
• Law enforcement is stuck between procedural rope and real danger; speed and decisiveness often prevent tragedy.
• The human bias: offenders rationalize crimes with plausible-sounding narratives that minimize accountability.
• Hyperbole meets reality: long drives and grand gestures highlight how certainty in fantasy collides with harsh consequences.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Anonymous narrator (Host) · 8 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Stalking, Social Media, New Jersey (Jersey), Body-worn camera footage
2. 5:00 – 10:00: Stalking, Florida, Horror movie
3. 10:00 – 15:00: Stalking, Inmate with redacted name, Social Media, Billings, Montana
4. 15:00 – 20:00: Ski bum, Phish show (Telluride 2010), Telluride, Colorado
5. 20:00 – 25:00: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Mushrooms, Inmate with redacted name, Ski bum

Notable quotes from "The Pathetic Life of Stalkers"

• Recently and man so we're going to talk about a couple of those real quick the ones that stuck with me I'll put the full body cam footage videos in the description I'm going to…

  about Body-worn camera footage · at 1:36

• Media she ends up blocking him because he's a weirdo and then he gets in his head even though she's blocking me on all the social media we're still communicating because all…

  about Social Media · at 2:48

• He has a bunch of websites where he can even though he's blocked he can see your Instagram story and so he sees that her and her mom are taking a trip down to Florida and he…

  about Florida · at 4:31

• Scariest things about these stocking stories that you see over and over again is it's pretty hard to arrest someone for stocking they're like all right so first you got to get…

  about Stalking · at 5:49

• Skip that part but this guy was ruining her life totally freaked out this takes place in Billings Montana and she was getting to the point it was like something's got to give I…

  about Billings, Montana · at 11:10

• Were their kids had grown up and moved out they had lived there their whole life and they were letting Riley live in their basement their families knew each other or something…

  about Inmate with redacted name · at 14:48

• Literal bum and they get bitter and they get grumpy and he was telling me there's every ski season in toride there's this group of young people that moved from Chicago and…

  about Telluride, Colorado · at 17:01

• Quiet place it felt like walking into a David Lynch scene and so we walked in and we my buddy Brandon bought us those big paps blue ribbons like the big tall can I'm not much…

  about Pabst Blue Ribbon · at 20:53

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Inmate with redacted name — Person · Referenced friend in personal story · 3 mentions · first at 13:54
  Riley is the narrator's friend who lived in Telluride and is central to the 2010 bar incident story; however, the transcript does not provide a full name.

Companies & orgs

• Netflix — Organization · Referenced media platform · 1 mention · first at 0:46
  Netflix is mentioned as having an 'eight part series' about stalking, reinforcing the episode's theme and the narrator's exposure to stalking stories.
  Neck that's what I wanted to do that's what and even once they're in jail for years Netflix did I think it was an eight part series on horrible stocking situations and where they would interview the person that was being.

Products & tech

• Pabst Blue Ribbon — Product · Object in bar confrontation · 2 mentions · first at 20:59
  A tall can of Pabst Blue Ribbon becomes the focal object of the tug-of-war that triggers the physical altercation in the dive bar.

Concepts & topics

• Stalking — Concept · Core topic · 7 mentions · first at 0:20
  The episode centers on stalking incidents seen in police body-cam videos and a personal story about a stalker in Billings, emphasizing how stalking escalates and how hard it can be to arrest for it.
• Body-worn camera footage — Concept · Primary content source discussed · 1 mention · first at 0:10
  The narrator describes going down a YouTube rabbit hole of police body-cam footage, using two specific stalking-related arrests as the episode's main examples.
• Social Media — Concept · Key mechanism in stalking examples · 3 mentions · first at 2:45
  Social media is described as a major tool for modern stalkers (following, blocking, viewing stories via third-party sites) and as a way victims try to cut off contact.
• Ski bum — Concept · Theme in Telluride story · 5 mentions · first at 14:58
  The narrator uses 'ski bum' to explain why people move to Telluride, how housing costs distort that dream, and how bitterness can contribute to tense local dynamics.
  California or out east here they romanticize in their head I'm going to move to tell your ride I'm going to be a ski bum it's going to be great I'm going to ski powder every…
• Mushrooms — Concept · Context in bar incident · 2 mentions · first at 20:30
  The narrator mentions having eaten mushrooms before entering the Telluride dive bar, affecting perception during the confrontation.
  Go and you actually enter in the bar from the alley which gave it kind of a feeling I had also eaten some mushrooms an hour before but walking into this bar it had one of those…
• Horror movie — Concept · Descriptive framing · 1 mention · first at 5:28
  The narrator uses 'horror movie' as a metaphor to convey the fear and surreal dread of a stalker appearing unexpectedly in Florida.
  Swimsuit and he's got his towel and his sunglasses and this dude is just in Florida and think about this is straight out of a horror movie nightmare fuel brutal the woman…

Places & events

• Telluride, Colorado — Place · Primary setting (referenced location) · 1 mention · first at 17:29
  Telluride is the setting for the narrator's 2010 trip, the Fish show, and the dive-bar confrontation; it also frames discussion of ski-bum culture and housing scarcity.
• Florida — Place · Setting for escalation in first stalking case · 2 mentions · first at 4:42
  Florida is where the stalker travels to after tracking the victim's trip via social media, creating a 'horror movie' confrontation in a restaurant.
• Billings, Montana — Place · Setting for stalking anecdote · 1 mention · first at 11:16
  Billings is where the narrator's friend's mother was stalked and where the confrontation at a bar led to the stalking stopping.
• Phish show (Telluride 2010) — Event · Catalyst event for Telluride trip · 3 mentions · first at 17:29
  The concert is the reason the group travels to Telluride and sets up the post-show crowding and subsequent bar choice that leads to the incident.
  You have these people that aren't doing good and so you get it okay so in 2010 there was a fish show in tell youde so Riley called a couple of us and said hey I got tickets to this show you guys can stay I talked to the couple.
• New Jersey (Jersey) — Place · Setting for first body-cam stalking case · 2 mentions · first at 2:14
  New Jersey is where the stalker joins a gym and begins fixating on an employee before driving to Florida to confront her.
  And her mom are taking a trip down to Florida and he gets into his car and he drives 25 hours from New Jersey down to the tip of Florida I've done that drive pretty fun drive I…

Full transcript with timestamps

0:04 hey folks welcome back to the show I hope you're doing well so this past week I ended up going down a police body cam footage rabbit hole on YouTube watching people that were being arrested for stalking real great use of my time but if you've ever seen any of these stalkers have to be some of the most pathetic embarrassing horrifying individuals out there they're all clueless like what did I do I I what I can't show up to her house and kick her door down and put my hands around her neck that's what I wanted to do that's what and even once they're in jail for years Netflix did I think it was an eight part series on horrible stocking situations and where they would interview the person that was being stocked like in their living room room and they still have this look on their face of my life kind of got a little bit ruined from that and then they interview the person that was arrested from

1:10 stalking from inside the prison that they're in and same thing all of them were like I don't consider myself a stalker it's like sir you kidnapped the lady's parents when she wouldn't talk to you well I wanted to talk to her okay is that so wrong and so so I had never gone down the body cam footage um rabbit hole on YouTube until recently and man so we're going to talk about a couple of those real quick the ones that stuck with me I'll put the full body cam footage videos in the description I'm going to put it play a couple Clips just to give you context and then it reminded me of a story of my one of my best friends growing up his mom had a stocking story that has a happy ending and then it reminded me of another story that not related to stocking then I'm going to tell at the end so that's what we're doing grab a coffee get relaxed and yeah let's get into it so the first possibly the most

2:12 insane one of all the ones I watched on body cam is this guy joins a gym in New Jersey so around where I live up north Northeast and this there's a girl that works in the gym and the only communication they have is as they walk by he like says hi to her and she goes hi have a nice workout you know she's an employee of the gym that's what she's supposed to do he gets in his head this woman loves me oh my God she loves me so much and follows her on all the social media she ends up blocking him because he's a weirdo and then he gets in his head even though she's blocking me on all the social media we're still communicating because all post on on social media and then she'll post an hour later and it will be connected she's commenting off of what I posted and it's we have this like and here's a clip of him where the officers are they're trying to get him to talk about it as much as they can and so

3:19 they're going see you don't ever communic you've never communicated with her and he goes no we communicate through images and art and so check out that clip yeah posed pictures of me saying I was his Muse never had any relationship with him I just saw him at the gym I thought you guys didn't really have like conversation it was through conversations through messages like through pictures images art okay so like her stories your stories but you guys never actually communicated anything nothing verbal nothing verbal just like you're just thinking in your mind and maybe I don't know but you guys are posting similar things at the time so for example I would call myself a void or zero and she made a post of like because I Whistle a lot and I talk and like I like showing pictures of birds and whatnot I saw a post of a bird house and so after blocking him doing as much as she can to not communicate and

4:29 do everything thing he somehow he said he has a bunch of websites where he can even though he's blocked he can see your Instagram story and so he sees that her and her mom are taking a trip down to Florida and he gets into his car and he drives 25 hours from New Jersey down to the tip of Florida I've done that drive pretty fun drive I went all the way to was it Santa s Santa Anna Maria something Island in Florida fun trip but anyway I've done that drive and it's no joke you it's like you would have so many hours where it for it to hit you like this is the craziest thing to possibly do what am I doing this woman doesn't like me we don't talk and I'm going to drive 25 hours so he gets to Florida and he's wearing his swimsuit and he's got his towel and his sunglasses and this dude is just in Florida and think about this is straight out of a horror movie nightmare fuel brutal the woman that's being stocked in

5:37 her mom who knows all about it they're in a restaurant and then all of a sudden this guy walks in can you imagine that feeling and so they call the police and uh the police get there and one of the scariest things about these stocking stories that you see over and over again is it's pretty hard to arrest someone for stocking they're like all right so first you you got to get them with a trespassing and then once they violate that then you get them with the restraining order and then once they violate that and if you know if they as long as they've done something really awful to you already then we'll go ahead and charge them with stalking it's like what do you mean they have to violate the restraining order do you know how scary that situation is going to be for me while they're VI while you're waiting for it to check the stocking arrest just arrest this Maniac what are you doing and so that's the

6:33 tone of this one for a bit they're going well since he the incident just happened I don't know if it's in the system I don't know if we're going to arrest them and then luckily in both of these body cam stories that I'm going to talk about one of the cop has a Moment of clarity and just goes you know what there's no way we can let this dude just walk away hey see you later pal he's getting charged with stocking if it doesn't stick it doesn't stick and I think that's the mentality with these you got to just go for it if it doesn't stick at least they see like damn that kind of sucked I had to go to jail and see a judge and go through all that maybe it's not worth it and so luckily they arrested him but then the second one this one has three was posted a year ago and has three and a half million views so there's a chance you saw this one but this one's a lot simpler but just horrifying is this kid

7:32 just wants to talk to a girl and she doesn't want to talk to him she doesn't respond to any of his stuff and he shows up at her house knocking on the door and the mom is going go away she doesn't want to talk to you please go away and he just won't and he's just standing there's going I want to talk to your daughter it reminded me of the old I just wanted to talk I just wanted to talk to her but that's he just keeps saying he's like I'm not doing anything wrong I just want to talk to a girl and she going they're going she doesn't want to talk to you I don't know and he's going well I haven't heard her say that out of her mouth I just wanted to talk why I'm not doing anything wrong so check out a clip of that one just listen to me for a second stop arguing with her for what you don't even know me sir you don't know me hello I just like your daughter I'm trying to talk ma'am can you just can you let can you let me talk

8:27 to him for a second please do you want to step over here and talk okay so where we at now is you she don't want you here your daughter that's it hello I'm trying to speak to you that's cool I don't got to talk to you I'm trying to talk to him you got to leave though why do I got to cuz she you she don't want you here yeah but I want to he okay so how scary is that it's Poss it's very possible the reason these are hitting me harder than they ever had before is now that I have a daughter I'm thinking Jee Jesus this really could be you know 15 16 years from now if there's some dude standing on my doorstep going I just want to talk I'm not doing anything wrong it's like yeah well talk to my 12 gauge Home Defense pal okay so I'll put like I said I'll put the full um full body cam footage of those two in the description to this if you want to watch the whole thing both of those stuck with me the whole week that's why

9:33 I decided to talk about them but the story from my friend's mom from Growing Up uh it's kind of a good one because it has a happy ending but she had a stalker I think in her 20s early 20s maybe late te early 20s and the difference it's funny the difference now is stalkers they pretty much have to um follow the person that they're stalking social media that seems to be a big part of it and so now at least you can know that's the person or if it's an anonymous account maybe they can figure it out but this story there wasn't any social media so this person is stalking her it's been about 20 years since I since she told me this story so I wish I remembered but I don't remember the things he was doing but a lot of just like standing out in her yard she'd look out her window and he'd just be standing there and then she'd go somewhere where and then he he would be there or as she's walking to her car he would she

10:34 would see her and he would he was just freaking her out and it was going on and on and it it really is life ruining that's the scary part about these stalkers is they can ruin your life by Towing the line where the cops are like what are we going to do all right so he's standing in the parking lot I don't know I don't know if uh if that if we can do anything it's like well everywhere I go he's standing in the parking lot I I don't have any moments of peace my life is ruined this is horrible please help me and they're's like well you got to he's got to come in he's got to do something really awful first it's like well I I would like to skip that part but this guy was ruining her life totally freaked out this takes place in Billings Montana and she was getting to the point it was like something's got to give I don't know and she has a couple brothers and one of her brothers was at a bar one

11:28 night he's just kind of standing there hanging out and this guy at the bar had this kind of this smile on his face he was acting a little bit funny and he asked her brother he goes how are you doing he was like good he didn't know him he's like good man how how you doing and the guy was like I'm doing good I'm doing really good he had this strange energy about him the strange tone like he was enjoying some joke that her brother wasn't understanding and the the brother was like all right hey cool man good good for you that's uh just kind of want like turned away and then the guy messed up because I don't know he had a couple beers in front of him so he probably had just a little too much to drink was feeling himself got himself a little cocky and uh he goes as as the brother's turning away he goes been in a quiet voice he goes been scaring the [ __ ] out of your sister and the brother Whirled around and goes what did you say

12:35 and the guy realized instantly oops that wasn't the thing to say and he goes oh I didn't say anything I didn't say anything and the brother goes no what I heard what you said and listen to me and listen to me carefully if my sister ever even imagins that she sees you or you affect her life in any way ever you screwed up I know who you are now that was the one thing that was keeping this stupid thing going is we didn't know who you are now you messed up and I know who you are and if if she ever even feels like you're around her I'm not calling the cops do you hear me and the guy he got it and luckily it's not how it most of the time goes but luckily that was that was it for that one all right I got to go let my mother-in-law with the baby in real quick I'm going to pause it and then I'll come back and tell another story be right back all right we're back so this last story I'm going to tell has nothing

13:38 to do with stalking but I thought of it like oh I should tell that one thinking about that last story where my friend's mom stalker and her brother it all came to a head at a bar well here is a wild bar incident that happened to me in 2010 my buddy Riley lived in toride Colorado if you've never been to tell youde put it on the list it's got to be the most beautiful quintessential mountain town in the world huge Majestic mountains and this quaint little small Main Street to the point there has to be some historical landmark law where you can't build any more houses or buildings because it's this tiny little couple blocks and that's it smack dab at the base of this huge mountain and my whole life there hasn't been any more development or a whole new housing or new you know condos over here it's just the same small little couple blocks and somehow my buddy Riley knew a couple that owned one of the few houses like

14:44 right there on Main Street and he they were their kids had grown up and moved out they had lived there their whole life and they were letting Riley live in their basement their families knew each other or something but they were letting Riley live in their basement and so he could be a ski bomb and tell you ride Riley's whole thing what he lives for is Big Mountain back country skiing and the ultimate goal with that is to find a route down the mountain that no one else has done because they're not stupid enough to try it but Riley he's got a couple of those feathers in his cap and so if you're into that you you you know you only have a few years where you're young and strong enough to do stuff like that so you try to get as many in as possible so then when you're older and you can't do it anymore you can sit by the fire and think man those were the you know have those notches in your belt like I

15:41 did the first route down on that mountain and whatever it is I ended up going to Riley's wedding and that's what his wife is into too so you know wild skiing couple but anyway he was living in this couple's basement right there and tell your ride proper living his life and he told me he was telling me actually that it's not a great town to be a ski bum in unless you have some crazy situation like Riley got because housing is so limited and it's such an expensive place to live that people you know young people from California or out east here they romanticize in their head I'm going to move to tell your ride I'm going to be a ski bum it's going to be great I'm going to ski powder every day and grow my hair out and say bra and it's just going to be the best and then they move there and there's nowhere to live they end up living like a town over with 10 roommates sleeping on a groy floor you

16:47 end up getting a dishwashing job or something where it's not enough money to live in tell you ride and so they romanticize I'm going to be a ski bum and tell you right and they end up just being a literal bum and they get bitter and they get grumpy and he was telling me there's every ski season in toride there's this group of young people that moved from Chicago and California and all these places and they get there and it doesn't go great for them and it creates this energy in toride because you have these people that aren't doing good and and and so you get it okay so in 2010 there was a fish show in tell youde so Riley called a couple of us and said hey I got tickets to this show you guys can stay I talked to the couple that I'm staying with I'm staying in this house like right on Main Street it's a short little walk from where the concert is if you guys can get to tell you right on this date I think it was

17:55 August maybe 10th or something 2010 but he goes if you guys can get to tell you ride this was the summer at this point we can go to the show and sleep in the basement it's going to be this fun trip so we all a number of us head out to tell ride and we meet the couple thank you so much for letting us stay in your basement this is awesome and we're taking the gondola up the mountain and then down and seeing the beautiful tell ride and we go to the show and then after the outdoor again I've seen a Folk Festival in tell and I've saw that fish show but they have this amazing outdoor summer natural concert it's right at the base of the mountain it looks amazing and then after the concert is done everybody just spills out they must close the road CU I don't remember any honking cars or anything everybody just spills out of the concert on the Main Street and so after the concert we're walking back and it's it's like shoulder

18:55 toosh shoulder someone's back is right here and someone is right behind you you're just kind of walking like a cow and a herd down Main Street after the concert and so we were thinking you know let's go and just go to a bar and hang out for a little bit before we go back to the couple's house that we're staying at and so we're walking down Main Street and we we come up on like the main bar on Main Street and it reminded me if you've ever seen a disco during spring break in Cancun where it's just beyond packed and Loud the music was blaring it was so packed the windows were open and so people are hanging out of the windows sitting on the window sill it would have been everybody just as close to you as possible so we're standing on Main Street looking at this bar that's packed to the gills and we're looking at each other like this ain't it and but Riley had lived there in the town for a while so he's going no no

20:03 this is the this is the Tourist bar I got another quiet dive bar we can go to we can play some pool we can relax for a little bit and then we'll just go back to the couple's house and go to bed and we like that sounds way better than this packed loud nightmare so we walked um to this bar the quiet Dive Bar where all the locals go and you actually enter in the bar from the alley which gave it kind of a feeling I had also eaten some mushrooms an hour before but walking into this bar it had one of those old school cigarette machines where you put the money in and then you pull it and it had a juke box that was playing and it looked like it hadn't been remodeled since the 70s and it really felt it was a tired kind of quiet place it felt like walking into a David Lynch scene and so we walked in in and we my buddy Brandon bought us those big um paps blue ribbons like the big tall can I'm not much of a drinker so I

21:11 didn't I was I didn't even like really drink much of mine but I had it and I was just holding it and we played a couple games of pool we ended up losing and then it's kind of just getting tired and I was sitting there pretty much by myself I don't know where I think Riley was at the bar and our buddy Brandon was doing something and I was tired and I was sitting there and again maybe I had like the big beer that Randy gave me I'd probably drank like this much of it like pretty much full and I was just sitting there and this guy comes up to me and he's probably I'm 5'11 140 kind of a weird shaped body right he was probably three or 4 Ines taller than me and 40 to 50 pounds heavier than me and so this guy comes up to me and he goes you're going to buy me a beer and it took me a second it was so weird and I didn't know if because of the mushrooms I was just like a little bit like not on the right brain wave or

22:19 maybe I knew him and it was like a joke and so I sat there a second I was like what and he goes you're going to buy me a beer and I was like what are you talking about and he goes you're going to go up buy me a beer go up into the bar and buy me a beer and it took me a second to he like is this really happening what is going on and then finally it kicked in and what it was is one of those people that had like come to tell your ride to be a ski bum and just ended up being like a literal bum and asked out didn't have any money was sitting at this locals bar no money bitter and and he saw I think us probably have hey great concert having a good time I had you know and so he thought all right I'm gonna make this dude buy me a beer and he it like clicked all of a sudden I was like all right this actually is what I think it is and I said something to him like you're crazy if you think I'm buying you a beer what are you talking

23:26 about and right at that moment I'm I'm still holding the Big paps Blue Ribbon can he grabs the top of it and tries to like yank it from me to steal mine which honestly if he would have come up and just been cool and asked me I would have just given it to him like yeah to be honest it's not really going down all that great here you go I'm tired of holding this thing but he grabs the top of it and now we're having this absurd tug of war over my beer where I have the bottom and he has the top but we're both having to squeeze really hard and and it was pretty much full so a bunch of beer is like shooting out of it and he's pulling up and I'm pulling down well I have a lot more leverage going down than he does trying to pull it up so I just yanked it out of his hand and still I'm thinking this is insane what is going on here and yanking it out of his hand a bunch more spilled all over myself so

24:26 I'm like cool man and as I yanked it down then he grabbed like my shirt and started pushing me and I right at this moment so I'm all covered in beer guy that's much bigger than me has me by the shirt and and then all of a sudden he's off me and Riley has him by the neck and the shirt and Riley has him all the way off the ground take Tak two steps with the guy off the ground remember Riley is a big back country skier his thighs are like Tree Trunks and we would play basketball like our group of friends and Riley had by far the ugliest most awkward looking shot terrible dribbler but he was the best player by far because he could just out muscle everybody you couldn't you couldn't do much he just bounc you out of the way with his big old butt butt and then he would just kind of awkwardly put it in the hoop but anyway Riley has him up in the air by the neck and then Wall's up in the air pushes him with all of his

25:39 power and the guy flies back hits the wall so hard that he gets the wind knocked out of him and if you've ever had the wind knocked out of you or seen someone it's impossible to look cool or tough in that moment and he was doing kind of the pathetic moans and grunts that you do in that situation going and he's lucky Riley and myself is a really nice guy because he was sitting there trying to get the wind back not defending himself at all Riley could have just really clocked him or headbutted him or I could have run up and you know done something to him too but we didn't and then the bouncers ran over and like grabbed Riley and grabbed the guy and then luckily it happened so fast luckily one of the bouncers was like no no no I he like saw the final thing where he grabbed my he saw the tug of war and um and so they kicked him out and we waited a time just to make sure he wasn't like waiting for

26:44 us and then just quickly walked home with our head over our shoulders to make sure he wasn't you know trying to pull something but pretty wild night in tell you ride at the dive bar but that's the story story I'm going to cut it off there I love you all see you next time why Sten y sh

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "The Pathetic Life of Stalkers"?

Anonymous narrator (Host).

What is "The Pathetic Life of Stalkers" about?

A quick overview of stalking: it examines real-life examples from police body cam footage, highlighting how stalkers rationalize their behavior, the tension between intent and actions, and the impact on victims, with reflections on related personal stories and a cautioned look at criminal consequences.

What is mentioned in this TRUE CRIME Loser episode?

14 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Stalking, Body-worn camera footage, Social Media, Telluride, Colorado, Inmate with redacted name, Ski bum. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "The Pathetic Life of Stalkers"?

The episode runs 27 min; the transcript is about 4,772 words in 26 timestamped sections.

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