#3132 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)

What this episode is about

The discussion focuses on the Netflix documentary "My Octopus Teacher," highlighting the emotional impact it has on viewers and its exploration of the bond between a man and an octopus. The speakers, initially skeptical about the film, express their surprise at its profound effect, noting its potential to resonate with audiences in a way similar to popular wildlife documentaries, despite its unique storytelling style.

Key takeaways

• Octopuses: nature's reminder that emotional connections can be found in the unlikeliest of places.
• Cameron from Southern Charm weeping over an octopus? Proof that vulnerability knows no bounds—or species.
• Watching 'My Octopus Teacher' feels like a therapy session; you can't help but reflect on your own intimacy issues.
• Documentaries like this blend beauty and existential dread—who knew marine life could birth a midlife crisis?
• Craig's octopus escapades prompt the ultimate question: are we more alien or similar to the creatures we fear?

Who speaks in this episode?

• Ben (Guest) · 26 min speaking
• Ronnie (Host) · 39 min speaking
• Craig (Guest) · 20 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: My Octopus Teacher, Western Cape, South Africa, Cape of Storms, The Great Dance
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Cape of Storms, Adrenal Failure
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Pajama Sharks
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Pajama Sharks
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Pajama Sharks
6. 1:00:00 – 1:05:36: Cocoon

Notable quotes from "#3132 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)"

• So yeah so this is it's the documentary is called my octopus teacher and it's about a man who befriends an octopus. So I mean shall we dive in? Should we get into this.

  about My Octopus Teacher · at 1:38

• Horns. Now, physically, that might not be true. I was resisting this movie. And I have been listening to the Oprah Super Soul podcast, as you know. I love it. And Bnee Brown was on there. Now, I resist some Bnee Brown in my life. I.

  about Oprah Super Soul · at 2:30

• Because, there's that show on Netflix right now that everyone's I'm canceling my Netflix. It's called Cuties. It's a French film or whatever. and everyone's freaking out.

  about Cuties · at 4:30

• Note for this. But he's It was quite a long time ago that day that all started. My octopus teacher where in Western Cape, South Africa, there's waves against the cliffs. And…

  about Western Cape, South Africa · at 5:52

• With my brother and met these men who were the best trekers in the world. And to watch these men go to incredible lengths to find subtle finds in nature, things my eyes couldn't see. And they would do it for hours.

  about The Great Dance · at 8:58

• That he just I don't know, life caught up with him and I read in an article that he had like adrenal failure or something like that and I he just wanted to connect back into something and so you know he has.

  about Adrenal Failure · at 11:48

• Used to this camera, he is roving around this area trying to understand the kelp forest. And then he finds like this cave that's packed with pajama sharks. They're like all crammed in there like a bunch of Jill's errands and they're Hi,.

  about Pajama Sharks · at 29:01

• This? I felt so bad when she was all dull and white. It was like in Cocoon where they were all young and vibrant and then they turned old again and died. It was like It was like those last shots, you know?

  about Cocoon · at 1:01:35

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Books & papers

• My Octopus Teacher — Book · Primary recommendation · 3 mentions · first at 0:46
  Central theme of the episode, discussing the documentary and its impact on the hosts.
• The Great Dance — Book · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 8:56
  Mentioned as a previous work by the documentary's subject, Craig Foster.

Concepts & topics

• Pajama Sharks — Concept · Core topic · 3 mentions · first at 29:10
  Mentioned as part of the marine life in the documentary, specifically their interaction with the octopus.
• Adrenal Failure — Concept · Referenced concept · 1 mention · first at 11:52
  Mentioned in passing as part of the host's discussion about the documentary's subject.

Places & events

• Western Cape, South Africa — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 5:56
  The geographical setting of the documentary 'My Octopus Teacher'.
• Cape of Storms — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 6:07
  Another name for the Western Cape, mentioned in the context of the documentary's setting.
  These are not like cute waves. Like isn't that pretty? It's like a It's like a photo. These are like biblical waves wiping out humanity. this is like some Mary Elizabeth Mash…

Media & podcasts

• Tiger King — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 1:06
  Mentioned as a comparison point for the popularity of 'My Octopus Teacher'.
  And it just felt like this was going to be a thing that people would be talking about and if they're if they if it doesn't quite reach Tiger King levels, that's fine. But we I…
• Oprah Super Soul — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 2:37
  Mentioned as a podcast the host listens to, relating to the themes of the documentary.
• Cocoon — Media · Referenced media · 2 mentions · first at 1:01:38
  Mentioned in passing as part of the host's discussion about the documentary's themes.
• Cuties — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 4:36
  Mentioned in comparison to 'My Octopus Teacher' in the context of Netflix content.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:04 what happens when there's so much cares when there's so much that Oh, I'm excited for this bonus episode.

0:25 I'm very excited, too. Um, Ben picked this bonus episode. We were looking for things to cover and I was like, "Okay, octopus, whatever. Stupid. Whatever. Octopus. I guess I have to watch AN OCTOPUS VIDEO NOW." And then of course I cried. It's the best thing I've ever seen and I really want to find love now. So I mean, so what Ronnie's talking about is there's this documentary on Netflix called My Octopus Teacher and people are starting to talk about it. Cameron from Southern Charm put up a video where she was a blubbering mess. She was like octopus is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

0:59 And um it just felt like this was going to be a thing that people would be talking about and if they're if they if it doesn't quite reach Tiger King levels, that's fine. But um we I just was like this seems almost ridiculous enough and yet great enough that we should cover it. And um we've never recapped a nature documentary before. We've recaped everything else I think except for nature

1:23 Vanderpump rules. I mean that's true. that is basically like life on the savannah with you know animals and and you know

1:32 well lots of things with warts you know eating each other. So yeah throwing feces at each other. So um yeah so this is it's the documentary is called my octopus teacher and it's about a man who befriends an octopus. So I mean shall we dive in? Should we get into this madness?

1:51 Yes, let's get in. Um, now this is basically one big long story told by him. Okay, so that's pretty much what you're going to get in this.

2:00 Um, and it opens with an octopus swimming. People say octopus are like alien, but the strange thing is as you get close to them, you realize you're very similar in a lot of ways. No. Okay. So,

2:17 I have eight arms. She has eight arms. I can change my color. She can change my color. It's like, sir, what LSD are you taking?

2:26 She can change her texture and grow horns. I can change my texture and grow horns. Now, physically, that might not be true. You know, I I was resisting this movie. And I have been listening to the Oprah Super Soul podcast, as you know. I love it. And Bnee Brown was on there. Now, I resist some Bnee Brown in my life. Like, I don't need some snoody Texas woman telling me what to do. I've had one my whole life. But then I listened to Bnee Brown. Love her now, of course. And her whole thing is about being vulnerable and if you're you're resisting something, it's because it's bothering you on a level that you need to address and you need to stop resisting that and you need to be vulnerable to it. And so I was like, why am I resisting this octopus thing? And by the end of this, I was like, oh my god, I am just like that octopus. I'm even made of jelly. I could probably hide in a rock really fast.

3:14 You could. I think you're like made for for an octopus lifestyle. just like hanging out in a den, maybe going out, maybe meeting someone. Yeah.

3:23 Yeah. I'm like I want to die alone until it's time to pop out a baby and then I'll like let a man in to like impregnate me for about 5 minutes and then I'm going to be like [ __ ] kids. I want I want a shark to eat me, you know?

3:36 Yeah, I think this trajectory really worked well for you. Oh, I guess we should say that this is the If you haven't watched the movie, there will be spoilers cuz we're going to recap the whole thing. So,

3:45 that was a postspoiler warning. That was Yeah, post spoiler warning. Like, I mean, you had to know. So, the It's an octopus. Okay. Nature is nature is violent. So, um uh yeah. So, this guy, his name is Craig, and he's telling we're seeing this be by By the way, the imagery is beautiful in this so beautiful. Like, you could just put on mute and just watch it and you'll just be zened out. It's great. But he's like, "You're stepping into this completely different world. Such an incredible feeling and you think you're on the brink of something extraordinary, but there's a line that can't be crossed.

4:22 You cannot have sex with the octopus." You cannot. You cannot. Not you. I mean, wasn't every family in the country going, "Please don't [ __ ] that octopus. Oh,

4:29 don't [ __ ] the octopus." Because, you know, there's that show on um Netflix right now that everyone's like, "I'm canceling my Netflix. It's called Cuties. It's a a French film or whatever." and everyone's freaking out that it's child pornography and this and that. Now, I have not watched Cuties because I've read all this stuff and I'm like, if I haven't watched this, I'm probably a pedophile. Like, I'm not watching that. Like, I'm terrified to even watch it now.

4:50 Um, but I've obviously read a bunch like everyone else. But now I'm like, oh my god, is Netflix trying to get me to [ __ ] an octopus? Like, what's going on? Is it brainwashing?

4:59 What if the octopus wants to [ __ ] you? What about that? I mean, that would be flattering. I wouldn't do it, but I would be more flattered. You know, if it were the other way around, I would be horrified. But yeah, everyone I think at the same time was like, "Please do not [ __ ] that.

5:12 Don't have sex with the octopus. Please, please." And by the way, we never see his his wife, if he even has one, cuz I would really like to know what she thinks about this entire situation. Okay. Like my husband is swimming out into the ocean to hang out with an octopus. I don't know. I think I would I would have some concerns. I feel like I feel like we don't see his wife, but I feel like it's Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies without the abuse. just like bangs and sad.

5:41 Oh, yeah. And he's like got major depression issues. Um, as he kind of alludes to, but basically I wrote sad movie guy alone. So that's my overall note for this. But he's like, "It was quite a long time ago that day that all started. My octopus teacher where in Western Cape, South Africa, there's waves against the cliffs. And these are not like cute waves. Like isn't that pretty? It's like a It's like a photo. These are like biblical waves wiping out humanity. You know,

6:11 this is like some Mary Elizabeth Mash Antonio screaming at you that you are in the jaws of the monster. Like, you have to get out of there.

6:18 Yeah. And the place is on the tip of Africa. It's known as the Cape of Storms. My childhood memories are completely dominated by the rocky shore AND THE TIDE. TIDE TIDE TIDE. And then we see this little tiny house, which

6:34 I mean, who builds a house, right? Where it's just who builds a house in the middle of a damn uh wave.

6:41 I just want to see that one. I want to see that house on House Hunters International. House number three is far from town. And also, the ocean knocks it over every few months.

6:52 House number three was owned by a very nice man who drowned in his sleep. Well, I just love these appliances. fully updated mainly because it was destroyed about two weeks ago and oh look there goes the door. So he actually says he's like I grew up in a wooden bungalow as a child and it was built below the water line and the ocean would knock down the doors and fill the bottom of the house with water and it was incredibly exciting to literally live in the force of that giant Atlantic ocean. I'm like that sounds awful. The ocean is like flooding your your first floor every single time. What about your toys? What about your TV? Like, what?

7:30 Like, there is none. That's what kind of life he's living. That's why I'm saying he's a depressed person. He's living in a wave, basically. A constant wave. What What can you not have? You can't have a TV in there. You can't plug in your phone downstairs. You can't iron anything in the foyer. Every single

7:45 dead fish in the foyer. Yes. Like, what do you never iron? Like, that's I mean, I don't either, but still.

7:50 Probably so annoying in school cuz he goes, "Most of my childhood was spent in rock pools diving in the shallow kelp forest." That's what I most love to do. It's like, "Hey, uh, like you're at school." It's like, "Hey, you want to come over? We I got my He-Man figures. I have a better idea. Let's dive amongst the kelp." It's like, "Oh, Craig,

8:11 would you like to come over to my house after school and get your feet all wrinkly because they'll be wet the entire time?"

8:19 Knock knock. Who's there? The Atlantic Ocean pouring itself in. Exciting. It's like, is that delivery? It's like every time that there's a knock on the door, you don't know whether it's like UPS or a giant wave crashing into your house. As an adult, I'd been separated from that. And that was fine at first until I went to central Kalahari 20 years ago. And then it's like bump and now, you know, here we are and there's like a man running with an arrow, like a tribal guy running with an arrow and they're chasing some animal or something. And he tells us, "I was making a film called The Great Dance with my brother and met these men who were the best trekers in the world. And to watch these men go to incredible uh lengths to find subtle finds in nature, things my eyes couldn't see." And they would do it for hours.

9:12 They were inside the natural world and I could feel I was outside. Was like, "Well, yes, you're outside. Like, deal with it. It's fine. We're all outside of it. Okay. But I want inside." Yeah. Like you have to pick achievable goals, you know? Like you can't go to a zoo and be like, "God, I wish I was a monkey. My life sucks."

9:34 So 18 years later, and by the way, and also when he was making that movie, he was hot. He was real hot. I was like, Craig, let's How about that? The bigger goal is to get like great dance, but get back into like great dance shape. How about that?

9:47 Yeah. Go back to hiphop jazz, you know? But I think that he uh is still pretty hot. I mean, he had a pretty hot dad bod. I mean, look, that's even dad, but he had a hot he had like a hot like, you know, year 2000 bod or maybe it was like the '9s. I don't know when it was,

10:02 but he's like totally one of those hot guys who uses pachuli and they're like, I don't have to take a shower cuz I'm hot and I'm into nature. And you're like gross.

10:09 How How many people did he bore at cocktail parties about like when I was in Kenya, I met the greatest trackers in the world. They could see a grain of salt and know exactly what animal it came from. It's like great, thanks. We're trying to talk about big brother here. Who invited Craig again? And he does like subtle things that make me think, okay, like he's sad and approachable now because he's filming himself at his kitchen table, but he's like a snob in real life cuz he wears um rimless glasses. And I think people who wear rimless glasses are truly evil people. Like I think they feel like they're better than everybody.

10:48 They are. Yeah. Especially when they like befriend octop o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o octopuses and then they're like my friend's an octopus and you're like well I can't top that.

10:56 So uh so he's tell it's like 18 years later and he's had 2 years of hell and he's like worn out and he's just getting sick from all the pressure that's on him. We're not really sure what the pressure is. Maybe the pressure to move into a house that's not getting knocked over by waves, but he uh I guess I'm assuming it's from film making, etc. and he just didn't want to see a camera or an edit suite ever again in his life. My great purpose was in pieces.

11:22 Yeah. Because he was a documentary filmmaker and he was choosing really dangerous [ __ ] to go document. You know, it's like just walk around the the desert for months at a time to find out how to track a you know tiger or whatever. So yeah.

11:36 Yeah, he was depressed. And I guess once he went back to the real world, he couldn't deal with an edit bay or something. I don't know. Those are depressing places. edit bays.

11:44 They really are. No, it I mean this was 18 years after that, but like I think that he just

11:49 I don't know, life caught up with him and I read in an article that he had like adrenal failure or something like that and I he just wanted to connect back into something and so you know he has

11:59 what is that adrenal failure like? What does that a gland? I don't know. May I think

12:04 I don't know. I would I don't know. Maybe it's the adrenal system that gives you adrenaline. I'm not sure. Maybe he's like

12:10 I failed to be startled. So he he just Nothing surprised me. I mean, I did grow up in a house that flooded every five minutes.

12:20 When you wake up in the middle of the night because a wave has knocked your bunk bed on its side again, you stop getting startled by things.

12:28 Once you've seen your family dog be swept away to sea. Once you wake up with a starfish on your face, you're no longer frightened. So he uh he basically is like he doesn't he he's like he wants to be a good father to his son but he's like in a funk and he's like he he's like so I took inspiration from the trackers and from childhood and the only way I knew how to do it was to be in the ocean.

13:01 Now that's normally the point where someone signs up for Zumba. You know, it's a great time for Zumba.

13:09 You can either plunge yourself into like vicious churning waves in the Cape of Storms that are like like negative 500° or take Zumba. Take Zumba.

13:19 Yeah, like I'm older. I'm slightly depressed. Adrenal shit's going on. Apparently, my wife won't even be in the same room with me. Um, you know, I'll take a Zumba class or start walking around the neighborhood like that.

13:32 I'm always an advocate for board games. settlers can but just like it's going to live in the ocean, you know? That's a little extreme Craig.

13:39 Yeah. And he like chooses like the worst part of the ocean. He is like literally it's it's it's it is a hellscape of water. This these waves crashing and craggy rocks and it looks cold. like it feels cold. And he's like, "The water drops down 8 to 9° C and you just have to relax and then you'll get this beautiful time for 10 to 15 minutes when suddenly everything feels okay." I'm like, "You're getting delirious. You are going into shock and you're delirious, Craig.

14:07 You're literally dead, Craig. I think Craig died." I think this is all from his like Yeah. his ghosts.

14:14 Yeah, you're dead, Craig. Okay. Is someone going to tell Craig that he's dead? He's like, "The cold upgrades the brain because you get a flood of chemicals every time you immerse." It's like, "Dude, if you had spent less time tracking and more time like out with people, you would have found cocaine."

14:30 Okay. Yeah. Or cryotherapy. It's like much easier. You don't have to you don't have to swim.

14:36 So then he starts talking about how it gets easier and easier and easier. And then he goes, "After about a year, you start to crave the cold." I'm like, "Okay, Craig. All right. Now you're getting annoying." All right. Craving the cold water.

14:49 Um, so he goes, he finds calm water. We see him diving. And again, I mean, we're probably going to say this a hundred times during this. This is just a stunningly gorgeous

15:00 Yeah. film. I mean, it is beautiful. And I think he's shooting it all himself, right?

15:06 I'm not sure because there was another director that was listed and her name was Pippa. So, I think Pipa might be in the mix as well. I can't tell.

15:13 But you think she was in the water? cuz I think to get that maybe she did the interviews.

15:18 Yeah, maybe she got like a director credit cuz she did interviews and maybe some of the nature footage.

15:22 Yeah, cuz I mean he just shot this ju I mean it is just stunning and I don't know how much color correction or whatever was done at the end but I was I mean just totally taken away the whole time. Really gorgeous work. Okay, let's go back to making stupid.

15:37 Yeah. So he's like he's talking about how like swimming through the kelp forest is really cool because it's basically like it's a forest but you enter from the top and you can it's basically like flying cuz right you're not bound by gravity and you know we see all these jellyfish and and everything and he starts talking about getting he's like he goes you naturally just get more relaxed in the water. I'm like, uh, I would not be more terrified than to be there like with only like my bathing suit on and a mask, holding my breath while there are sharks swimming everywhere. I would be That's not my idea of relaxing.

16:12 Yes. I mean, and that's I think that's why depressed people do so well in the world because he's like, "Just kill me. What the [ __ ] do I care? Do you think I care about jellyfish?" No. I'm going to go swim right in the middle of those jellyfish and let them surround my dead body and see if they It's like it doesn't even occur to him like I could die right now because I'm standing I'm standing He's not wearing a wet suit or anything either. He's wearing his Costco swimming shorts into the water and that's it.

16:37 Yeah. Well, he says having a scuba tank in a thick ke forest is not optimal for me. What? Because you don't like air. Is that Is that not optimal? Being able to breathe?

16:47 Hate air. Stupid air. Only [ __ ] like air. It's like if you really want to get close to an environment. Yeah. It helps to not have a barrier. And I'm like, "Wow, I wonder if firemen ever feel like that."

17:00 Yeah. Exactly. It's like I want to be more like an amphibious animal. Like these goals that Craig has, I think we have to I think we need to get him to a career coach. Like so what would you like to be an amphibious animal? Um All right. But you're not. So what else would you like to be?

17:16 Yeah. a rich amphibious animal. Okay, you're getting closer. Okay, so then we see like a penis fish. We see all different kinds of fish that I've never seen. Yeah,

17:26 there some thing in a koi. It was like it looked like a shark but it was like in a it was shaped like a donut or was not shaped. It had like it was like biting its tail and it was like rolling around in a donut shape. I was like that animal has to get it together cuz that's not good.

17:38 Yes. The shark eating his own tail. It was like a little dog chasing his own tail but it was a shark and he had it in his mouth. It was like a horror movie. It was weird. Yeah, he had identity issues. He's like, I wish I could be more like a land walking animal. That's like me. I want to be amphibious with the shark's mindset.

17:56 So, he's like, and suddenly I realized I've got the energy to take pictures and film again. And so, we see all these beautiful shots. We see a fish eating a crab and then we see the fish eating its tail. And then we just see all these different kinds of

18:10 jellyfish and weird things. Yeah. It's We see all these really cool fish. And um it's

18:15 like going to a party on Real House of New York. Like all the people in the background who just sort of stare at the camera. It was like all those fish.

18:21 Yeah. It's like basically Ramona's birthday party. Oh, we got 15 of my closest fish friends. Okay.

18:31 Yo, we've all slept with him. Okay. There's like one fish trying really hard for a look.

18:36 Yeah. There's like a little Elise fish. He just stands there in the middle of all this chaos going,

18:42 "Yeah, she's the jellyfish. Those jellyfish. I mean, they're stunning creatures. Jellyfish. What? Beautiful.

18:52 Why do they have to be such dicks, dude? Yeah, they are dicks. Like, but also, does anyone eat jellyfish? Are there I'm sure there has to be a They has to have a predator, right? And I'm wondering I actually am like glad they have a predator because I feel like like no one's here to [ __ ] with you, jellyfish. So, the fact that you're so aggressive makes me want someone to [ __ ] with you.

19:11 Yeah. And they only work in the water. Like Craig is privileged, you know? He has like waterland privilege cuz he can do both and still stay alive. But like a jellyfish, it just looks like a like a used water balloon. I was going to say used condom, but that's disgusting. But I did end up saying it, which anyway. Um it it doesn't look the same when it comes out. It's just all like empty and stuff. So let me see. What do jellyfish eat and what eats them?

19:37 I'm I'm looking it up. There's an article in the New York Times that says, "Who wants to eat a gooey jellyfish?" Pretty much everyone in the ocean. Wa. So uh apparently um marine biologists had believed that jellyfish don't hold enough calories to be a significant part of the ocean's food chain. But guess what? Okay, everyone wants a jellyfish. Okay, it's 50 best jellyfishes. Okay, we all highly desire it.

19:59 I guess everyone eats them. It doesn't tell me. Leatherback turtles and big and ocean sunfish are exceptionally big. I guess they eat the jellyfish. Wow.

20:09 You know, Sunfish, we talked about Sunfish, but uh how they're dumb. Yeah, they're they're dummies. Maybe it's like a jalapeno in the fish world. It's just like a little sting, you know?

20:18 It's like a wonderful It's a wonderful spice. Well, I feel like sometimes like Yeah, fish like their relationship to pain is like a little different than ours. I think that we're more babies. Like fish are just like, "Oh, well that sucked."

20:31 Anyway, I'm hungry. Uh so, no, don't say that. How could you want to eat a fish after this movie? Oh my god, I've been eating fish and I felt so [ __ ] guilty. Okay, so the fish are they show these fish that change color to wherever. I mean, there it's so neat. And a big peach. It's like a big peach with a squirmy tail.

20:50 Yeah. All these really weird fish. Weird. They're aliens. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapp.

21:00 So then Craig is like, I remember the day when it all started. And then and then he it basically starts talking about how he went to a uh he found this kelp forest and he's like everything is murky but there's a small patch where you can dive and I saw a strange shape to the left which is what this movie also could have been called cuz like half this documentary is him saying and then I don't know what overcame me but I looked to my left and I saw a shape that I will never forget in the rest of my life. It's like every time it's like he sees something to the left.

21:31 To the left. To the left. Saw a strange shape. To the left. [gasps] Um, so he sees this really strange thing. And it is pretty cool. It's like a circle. It's like a ball but with all these shells glued to it. It looks like a collection of shells.

21:50 Looks like a second graders's art project basically. Like someone was given a styrofoam ball and they had to glue shells on it.

21:57 Yeah. Yeah. Or like if the cast of Little Mermaid was going to go bowling, you know, like a seashell bowling ball or whatever.

22:03 Yeah. It It looked oddly delicious. And then this these fish were like, "What the hell is that? Hey, what the hell is that? Did you guys see that shell ball? Hey, did you see the shell ball? Let's go look at the shell ball."

22:13 No, there was like three little fish who they just like cuz you know they have big dumb eyes.

22:18 Fish are dumb. If I'm a If I'm a fish and I see a strange ball that's larger than me that I've never seen before, I'm not going up to it. Like how I mean how many nature how honestly how many underwater videos do we have to watch of fish getting absolutely tricked all the time. It's like oh look there's a lantern. Ah I'm dead. You know like oh look there's like this looks like a nice patch of sand that's curiously open and then boom there's like a flounder underneath. It's like they're constantly getting startled by other [ __ ]

22:45 I mean all you have to say is treasure chest. I mean fish are the only people left in the world that are like oh my god it's a treasure chest. Did you guys see the treasure chest? I see it. I see it. Let's go over there. But we're always, you know, we're always told or I, you know, I'm always told or I feel like I've always learned that fish are dumb, right? Like other animals are

23:08 I don't know like they feel things or as a vegetarian, I've I guess I've tricked myself into thinking that like why is pescatarian a thing? Why can you only eat fish and not other things? And people are like, well fish are on a different level. You know, they don't they don't feel the same way. They don't have the same feelings that other animals do. And then after watching this, I feel like a murderer who's been tricked. Okay.

23:29 Well, okay. So, fine. Maybe apply that to octopuses. But then look at these stupid fish just going right up to this shell.

23:36 Cute. I love that they're so curious, you know? They're like, "Hey guys, this is something new in the neighborhood? I've never, you know, I just figured fish have a neighborhood? They don't have a neighborhood. They just swim around dumbly and wait for something to eat them, you know. But they do. They have like a little neighborhood and they're like, "Something's new here, guys. We should check it out." And then two of the other fish.

23:53 Start to sound You're starting to make them sound like Brandy Glennville. Stupid fish.

23:59 Guys, I'm glad that we gather here by this strange shell formation because I'd like to say that 6 months ago, this shell formation and I we had sex.

24:07 Yeah, this shell formation ate me out. I've got the text to prove it. And she said that you're a [ __ ] So, two of the fish are like, "I'm not staying by that stupid thing. That's crazy. I'm getting away from that." And that one dumb fish is like, "No, I want to taste it."

24:24 Stupid. It's like It's like the like knowing that it might be food always outweighs the fact that it might be the end of your life.

24:34 Always. It's like when you're cleaning the cat. Like, what is that? Well, I guess I'll taste it. You know,

24:41 fish are Yeah. It's like fish when they if they see a pebble. Oh, man. They're like, I know it's a pebble. I've I've seen all these pebbles on this floor, but maybe for the first time in my life, this pebble is actually food. Nope, not food. I'm going to spit it out again every single time.

24:54 It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapp. I'm being totally freaked out right now because on my desk I have um little stuffed animals that people have given me over the years. I have a little Jiggy and I have a little Lucy Lucy apple juice. And I was moving them around like I just looked, you know, I was moving them out of the way for a water bottle and I just turned around and Lucy Lucy Applejuice is staring right into my eyes. Oh wow.

25:21 It's creepy. Wow. Look away from me. I can see why Dar got rid of you. Look away.

25:27 So So Craig is looking at this shell ball and then suddenly an octopus flies out. Like the like the shells all dropped. It was And there's this octopus that had surrounded itself in a ball with all these shells and it flies away. And Craig's like, "At the time, I didn't know I had witnessed something extraordinary. I'd come at the end of a whole drama." You think, "What on earth is this animal doing? I think she's a little bit afraid of me." So, she lifts up this extremely slippery algae and wraps it like a cloak. And it she does she goes to this huge algae tree and wraps herself in it and then like peaks out with her little crazy alien eyes. She looks She looks very accessorized. She's basically like so glamorous in that moment. She just like wrapped in algae. Uh that was the moment when I was taking notes when I just named her Patty cuz I was like she's giving me like lots of Patty Leone

26:18 vibes. Like don't look at me right now. I'm in my I'm just just wrapped my show and it's been curtain and I'm now here in my evening wear my evening gown. I'm the octopus.

26:29 Yeah. It was a very like, "Hey, BIG SPENDER." LIKE VERY like uh Buxom. Yeah. Uh moment for the octopus. And it was so cute. And then boom, she was gone. And then

26:43 I wrote boom, she was gone also. Oh, did he say that? I don't know. But boom, she was gone. Like she just jetted out of there. She just dropped her feather boa and her cloak and then she like jetted for it. And she's jetting through. Yeah, she's jetting through the water and then she he never mentions this, I don't think. But they like blow brown ink. Is that ink? Is that squid ink? I guess.

27:03 Yeah. Well, it's octopus ink. Yeah, octopus ink. I mean, what does that do? Is it like when a skunk shoots you?

27:09 No, it's it's just to like obscure obscure. It's like to be like, you can't see me, you know? And that is so Patty Leone to be just to like take like a jar of ink like ink that she has nearby and just like throw it in your face while she runs away.

27:21 I said no autographs. I'll be there when I'll be there. Listen, I'm a woman of the stage.

27:31 So So the octopus flies away and Craig's like, "Well, I felt like there was something to this creature that was unusual. There was something special about her. She had a a fashion sense. And I had this crazy idea. What would happen if I abandoned my family for a year and visited an octopus instead every single day?"

27:50 What would happen if I brought this octopus to Chico's? I've seen what it can do with algae. What could it do with a nice rap?

28:01 What would happen if I interfered with this octopus's life and nearly got it killed a few times because of me? [clears throat]

28:09 So, day one. Initially, she was affected by my presence. So, I thought I'll just leave the camera and get her going about her business. Uh, so he leaves the camera.

28:19 No photos, please. No photos. Yeah. Like, turn off your goddamn cell phones. I'm not here for your amusement.

28:30 She just knocks the camera right over it. The camera's just like right there in her face right by her den. And she just puts her tentacle and just like pulls it down like enough.

28:38 She's so cute. like she's kind of hiding from it with seashells and then she like kind of touches it with a seashell so she doesn't like get burned by it or whatever. Then she touches it and then she's like, "Fuck that." And she just turns it down. She just like, "Yeah, she literally just she literally puts it down." So then um uh and I'm just like and while she's like getting used to this camera, he is like, you know, roving around this area trying to understand the kelp forest. And then he finds like this cave that's packed with pajama sharks. They're like all crammed in there like a bunch of Jill's errands and they're like, "Hi,

29:17 hey." They suck. They suck. Those sharks suck. And they have these they're flat like they're flat in shape.

29:28 And then they have these eyes that look kind of like costume jewelry. Like that sh you know that jewelry is like painted with glittery paint.

29:36 Yeah. Their eyes. And then they have these like two little teeth that stick out in the front.

29:41 Yeah. They don't look like the brightest shark in the world. You know, they look like idiot sharks, actually.

29:46 Yeah. They look like cartoonishly idiot. Idiot. I did like their stripes. There was something sort of cuddly about the stripes. I know it seems odd because you know you know how sharks are like the worst but like in stuffed animal form they're kind of the best and the stripes were sort of like they kind of I was getting confused cuz I was getting like um stuffed animal feedback from the stripes but I was like no but it's a real shark so I [ __ ] hate this shark. But I I thought like there was something like I did kind of want to like pet the shark in a weird way because I think because of the stripes. Yeah, they did have cute stripes. And they also I really did like their their um triangle work on their body, like the fins or whatever. They had I think seven or eight fins.

30:24 Tons. Yeah. So, they look from far away. You're like, "Wow, what a wellfinned shark." Like, that's so creative. But then you get up close to it and you're like,

30:32 and they like they're like the family in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They're just like all in the same bed.

30:39 Yeah. You're like, "Oh my god, get another bed." They're also kind of like the burglars from Home Alone. like they've got that kind of stupid energy about them like there they go bumbling around trying to find Kevin again.

30:51 Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That is exactly right. I did not like First of all, also if I'm like in the ocean and I'm like, "Oh, I'm just going to come into a cave and look. Oh, there's like 15 sharks just hanging out in here." He was like way too chill about that. I'm like, "Uh, like that's that's when I start panicking and bonk my head at the top of the cave and probably die." I think that he's got serious problems at home. I mean, I think that you're right. Like his wife, you never see his wife. His son doesn't really talk to him ever in the film, but we don't see his son till way later. And I think that he's I think he's on a suicide mission and like one day someone's going to find my camera and see all this great work I did. You know, I'm going to go hang out with the sharks. So, he goes to hang out with the sharks and watch them. And they're just such [ __ ] They're all fighting each other,

31:38 you know? They're just Yeah. They're just gross. Um, and then they do everything by smell. And that's why they're in a bad mood because they have really sensitive smells. And I think that would be the worst talent to have. That would be the worst gift is like an increased sense of smell. Everything stinks.

31:53 Well, and also like in the ocean, like there's just like nothing but fish poop everywhere. Like it's all it's like everywhere. The entire ocean is fish poop. Especially down there on the floor. That's where all the the poop lands. I mean, I think we've all seen like a a fish tank like that hasn't been cleaned. And you see all that [ __ ] And you know, like fish are really gross when they poop. Like have you ever seen a goldfish when it's pooping? It has like this it looks like a a line of like um like a streamer, like a party streamer just like coming out of its butt and you're like please just like finish with that and let it settle cuz I don't I cannot watch you swimming around this tank like you have a banner behind you advertising Coors Light. Like just drop.

32:28 Yeah. Parading it around with a banner that says, "Congratulations, Sviva. You did it.

32:33 You did it. You shat in the tank." So, he's watching the sharks and they're smelling the octopus. So, they're getting down into her little cave or her little dog bed or whatever it is, and she's so far up in there that she's just peeking out, but they can't reach her. And he's like, I'm thinking, how long before something happens with these animals? I would hate it if I lure her out of her den and make her extremely vulnerable. I would hate that. And then

33:01 Yeah, I felt like that, too. I mean, I like him and everything, but I was like, "Don't get this [ __ ] killed." Like, what are you thinking?

33:08 She has a plan. Okay. She has a plan. Yeah. So, so what stinks more than a human? I mean, why aren't they coming up to him to smell his old spice armpits? You know,

33:19 you if you think he wears deodorant, you are sadly mistaken. So, uh, so now day 26. So the octopus like she's now like chilling out a little bit and you know she's curious but she's not taking she's not taking stupid chances. She's sort of like she's sort of like half in the den but she's sort of like she's like you know starting to like now like hey I'm going to touch you know and so like he'll put his hand out and then she like puts her tentacle out and like touches and it's like it's like a shade video. It's like very underwater and sensual and like you know

33:52 I started crying. No. Did you? Yes. At this part, I started crying because she's like holding on to the back of her little cave and just peeking out like in case he's a predator. But then he reaches out her hand and then she reaches out her long arm and just starts like touching his arm. And the music too. I mean, we can't underestimate the power of music in this. It's like la [screaming] like the most romantic [ __ ] you've ever heard. I was like, this is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I know. Part of me was wondering, am I just projecting some sort of like human aspects onto this octopus? Was it just like, is there food here? Is this food? Is this food? Is this is there food under his arm? Like I, you know, like sometimes I wonder if like we are just projecting this emotion from the octopus, but it felt right. So

34:41 I don't think it's projecting because the octopus really did act like an animal, you know, for any Well, we've all spent time with some kind of animal, right? And so when you're getting to know an animal and they don't trust you at first and it was making all the same moves as like a rescue dog, you know,

34:57 and then when it starts to play around how it does it and like lowers its head and kind of licks at you. I mean, it was so cute. And it just goes to show you everything is alive. You guys stop eating it. Stop eating it. Stop eating Patty the bone the octopus.

35:12 And he's like something happens when the animal makes contact. I like to call it an erection. Uh they I'm not proud. I'm not proud. I'm not proud. But it is this is the natural world.

35:24 No. And at some point you have to breathe. Yeah. And he's he's a person who's a your talker. Like when he when he tells stories he's like you were down in the water and you're looking around, but at some point you have to breathe. So you go up to I'm like stop saying me. Okay. Cuz you're making this like very scary because you're saying me and that makes me argue with him, you know? I'm like no I'm not. No I'm not. Don't tell me what I'm doing. How about that?

35:50 So, so now the now the octopus is at the point where it's starting to come out of the den fully. And so now it's like full trust and then we're watching the octopus swimming around. And that's when he starts talking about like they're quite amazing. They can look spiky, look smooth, look sexy, look beguiling.

36:10 They can wear flats. They can wear tap shoes. They can wear a turban. page boy haircut, have long braids down to the ground.

36:23 They have so many looks. Well, I didn't know this about octopi or octopuses. Octopuses. Yeah.

36:30 That they can do all that. They grow little horns and the way it was changing colors as it like past rocks or the way it hid from other things by looking just like the thing. I mean, it was really neat.

36:42 Um and even matched texture. Yeah. like Max changed their textures to look like rock and stuff. It's neat.

36:50 Yeah, it is really crazy. And he's like, "But once in a while sometimes she takes out her two little legs and starts walking along."

37:01 This was so good because she right before right as he was saying this, she curled up. She curled all of her legs up to look like a big hairo. It was so cute.

37:10 And right and then she kind of moves and then two little legs come down and she looks like a lady in a big dress

37:18 walking around the old lady in a dress. Hey boys, I'm here. It's like this octopus strutting along like, "Yes, I made myself look like a rock because I'm here to rock your world." Hit it, boys.

37:31 Yes. I put She walks like a lady. Haha. Cuz she really does. And then away she goes just walking down the, you know,

37:39 diminishing the joint. And the judgy fish is watching her like that [ __ ] Look at that [ __ ] walking down.

37:47 Yeah. All those fish are so they're so stupid though cuz they don't even realize it's the octopus probably. They're like who's this [ __ ] walking around? Someone go tell the octopus.

37:55 We've got trash in the neighborhood. So stupid. Uh so um and this is when you know uh uh yeah so so ba this is when Craig tells us that she basically has one year to live. That's that's the that's that's the average um age or age range for a or age length for a an octopus. So we know like he's already setting up like don't start thinking this is going to be a like a lifelong friendship because it's going to be it's not going to last that long. Well, and he already looks like he's holding scissors in one hand just ready to end it on camera. Like this this whole time feels like a last will and testament, you know.

38:38 Yeah. How long do octopus live? Because doc one to two years for years. Three years.

38:45 Well, octopus I don't know. It just says average. Who knows? Wikipedia, anyone can change it. Patty might have gone on here and changed it. Tell me I'm going to live one day. I'm going to outlast them all.

38:55 I'm going to live forever. And so I guess of her age, even as an octopus, she can't annunciate for [ __ ]

39:11 Here's to the octopuses who launch. [gasps] Um, so I guess at her age, while this was being shot, she she probably only had like a year left. Um, so this she changes. Oh, wait. I keep going back to the lady in a dress. Okay, she puts her body in a strange form like a rock and then two of the legs start moving again, like the rock is moving and then she changes into the wobbly extraordinary lady again.

39:38 And uh he's like perhaps she's trying to mimic algae or a [ __ ] amazing Broadway star, sir.

39:45 Maybe she just wants to serve a luck. Um well, this is how she works. the incredible creativity to deceive. An octopus is essentially a snail that's lost its shell. A soft animal that relies on intelligence. She has no mother or father. She's alone. Like, oh my god, you're killing me with this Craig.

40:09 Craig is falling in love. So, now it's day 52 and he starts talking about how, you know, if you're going to become friends with an octopus, like your kit, like your your camera kit and everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be instinct because you know you can't afford to make mistakes. But unfortunately he was still making mistakes at that point cuz one day she was following me. It was such an honor. Here she was a Broadway star following me through the kelp forest and then suddenly my lens dropped and scared Patty away. And then she just like [ __ ] this [ __ ] gone.

40:44 Yeah. And she ran and blew ink at him and he's like you you could have kicked yourself. Stop it, Craig. I could not have.

40:53 That could have ended in the most incredible interaction. Have you ruined it forever? Will it ever trust you? And then I approached her too fast. And that's when she left the den and got a real fright and didn't come back to that den. I thought it was over.

41:06 Terrorizing her was gone. I know. In her documentary, it's like a It's like the It's like a girl talking in the vow, you know?

41:18 And then and then I tried to leave and they wouldn't leave me alone. He said if I didn't come back there, he was going to send everybody the video of me walking like a sexy lady down the street. What are you talking about?

41:29 Yeah. Her documentary is like, "So this guy, this big thing is is creeping around. I'm really not sure what the deal is with him. I've I've like pretended to be nice. I've pretended to be polite. I've tried to sort of like look ugly, dress down, sort of look like an old lady in a coat. He still follows me around. And then the other day he just like throws some [ __ ] at me which I felt like was a threat. And then I'm just hanging at my den and I'm like about to fall asleep and I wake up and he just comes like barging towards me and I'm like, you know what?

41:59 Enough with this guy. I'm getting a like a restraining order and I'm done. I'm done. That's her documentary.

42:06 Yeah, he is pretty creepy. So then it's very sad music because we're still on his point of view and he's like, "Well, I had these amazing experience with trekers. I wondered if anyone could trick underwater. This animal has spent millions of years practicing how to be lost. I had to learn what octopass tracks looked like. It was so difficult. What's the difference between urchin tracks, fish tracks, worm tracks, egg casings?" I'm like, "Oh my god. Oh my god." Mark Helenburgger. I just want him to hold a flashlight above his head, you know, like a black light.

42:40 I just wanted someone to just like like maybe his wife just like find another octopus and just like put it down there be like, "Uh, here, can you just like stop?" Like cuz she's like walked into like the living room and there's like a bulletin board with like all the it's like it literally is like CSI or like the Golden State Killer or something. There's like yarn from like, "Wait a second, I spoke to this piece of C and it said it saw nothing, but then this enemy said that it saw an octopus. Who's lying?" I was like, "Okay."

43:05 The jellyfish said she last saw a beautiful woman in a sexy dress getting a burger at Inn and Trout

43:15 and there's like this shows this footage of this crab cuz he's like looking everywhere and this like crab pokes out of the sand like seriously WTF could you just like leave us alone? Like we don't know where the octopus is and honestly we don't care because honestly she wants to eat me so just please get away.

43:31 Yeah. And then he's drawing a map of every little thing and uh it's like star maps basically. And then um we see it like going across his goggles like a beautiful mind.

43:41 It's crazy. He's like losing his mind over this. Yeah. I wonder if they are going to make a movie out of this. I'll bet they do with

43:50 the guy from A Beautiful Mind. What's his name? Russell Crowe. Yeah. This is a Russell Crow project.

43:55 Tom Hardy. This is total Tom Hardy to me. He'll be like super serious, you know, and he'll bucker a lot.

44:02 Yeah. So then we get But they'll make it like really gross because it's Hollywood.

44:06 Okay. Be like Kate Beckansale or something like trying to look ugly. That's like obviously like a beautiful Hollywood actress. Yeah.

44:13 Yeah. So then we see Yeah. the crab arm and those are the animals she's fleeing. And then he picks up a shell to study it and he's looking at everything that she ate and the marks that she's left in the sand and the changes in the patterns on the sand and the algae and all this stuff.

44:30 It's basically me playing Animal Crossing, diving for like seashells in Animal Crossing.

44:35 Within one or two meters, I felt her. I knew she was close to me now. AND THEN [screaming]

44:44 she's there. Well, [ __ ] it. And if you work this hard, I might as well let him into my life.

44:52 So finally looking for a week, day after day, there she was. It's like a human friend waving and saying, "Hello, I'm excited to see you. I could feel it."

45:03 Except it's an octopus in a new den trying to get away from you. So she puts out a tentacle like, "All right, okay." And so they're like, they're happy. And so then there's this actually really sweet scene where he like he puts out his hand and she's like, "Fuck it. I'm going for it." And so she just like swims up and just like latches on to his hand and then he's like, "Oh no, but I have to breathe." So he like goes up to the surface and he thinks that she's just going to like let go and be like, "Okay, back to the den."

45:36 But instead, she's like, "No, I'm I'm I want this. This is a free ride to the surface. I'm in. I'm in." And she goes with it.

45:42 She rides his hand the whole way. It was so cute. It was That was so cute when she did that.

45:48 Yeah. And he's like, "And there I was staring into the eyes of this incredible creature." And they just like sit there and be friends, I guess, for a long time. And then she swims away from him. And he's like, "It was diff." This part was kind of funny. He's like,

46:04 "It was difficult to see at first what she was getting out of the relationship."

46:10 I think it was pretty clear what she was getting out of it. She's like, "Oh, sweet. I have a giant thing that can protect me against those pajama sharks. I'm going to be friends with it because it will surely protect me anytime I need it to be protected. That's the way animals work,

46:24 right?" Um, and he goes back down and he's like, "It's quite stimulating for that huge intelligence." And they just stare at each other under the water and he's like, you know, somehow she understands that this thing's not dangerous. So to do a little tango and I was like finally some dancing, you know, cuz she does like reach her arm out and then like he takes the arm and [sighs] Yeah. And he's like maybe it does give you some sort of strange octopus level of joy. Like no, you are now her defender. She realizes this is a mutually beneficial relationship. You can defend her and she can give you She's like, I don't know what I can give you, but you're defending me now. Okay, you're part of this now. She's giving you a film and you're giving her a defense.

47:12 Yes. Uh so she reaches he reaches out and she sits on his hand and then she moves to his other hand and then she goes to the surface again with him

47:20 and he's like there's no greater feeling on earth and then she goes on his chest.

47:26 It was that was that to me was remarkable when she was just on his chest like a like a pet.

47:31 Yes. Like a little dog. Oh my god. Yeah. That was adorable. She rests for a while. They cuddle basically and then she swims away and then we see him later standing by a tree and he's like all I could do all the time was think of her in water and on land. It became a bit of an obsession. You just want to visit her every day and do you want to see what's going on?

47:54 You couldn't wait back in the water. Honey, are you talking about me or the octopus again? Oh, the octopus and not your wife.

48:01 SILENCE, WOMAN. GOD DAMN IT. [gasps] OKAY. WELL, UM, I made you dinner again if you want to have it.

48:10 I know. We do need another camera on the wife for sure for when he's gone. Well, Craig's gone again. Oh, really? So So, Paige, what's going on with you and Craig? Well, he's been he's been focused on on someone else. Oh, really? Is it Diane down at the supermarket? No, an octopus. Oh, I don't know how to what to say about that page. Um, so then he goes back and we get a closeup of her face and he's like, what is she thinking? Does she dream? And what about probably you saving her from sharks? Probably like, I got the high life now.

48:52 I got a bodyguard. So, she's like excited. Uh, and now he's like reading scientific papers about octopuses. And he's like, I did some research. She's a common octopus. A common one. She's like, "Fuck you. I am Patty, okay? I am doing a show every night down here in the kelp forest and you don't even see cuz you don't even come visit me at night. Okay, don't tell me. Don't tell me that I'm common."

49:15 I'm so glad you felt defensive for Patty, too, because I really did. I was like, "That's rude."

49:21 She's a spectacular octopus. Yeah. Like, she's just a common, lonely octopus looking for any man to give her some attention.

49:29 Okay. She's not Fantine. Okay. She is a superstar. Yeah. So 2/3 of her cognition is in her arms. Her entire body is thinking, feeling, exploring. She's got 2,000 suckers and using them independently. You can compare her intelligence to a dog or a cat. Thanks a lot.

49:50 Or even a lower primate. He's like, "What part of me changing my entire body to look like five different shapes and and like fitting in the colors for any texture says that I'm a lower primate bitch?" Okay.

50:05 Show me a dog turn into a rock in a dress. Last time I checked, no cat rolled itself up in shells and fooled a bunch of fish.

50:14 Yeah, Craig is very elitist, you know, and that's why I think he wears remless glasses and goes down into the ocean. He's like, "Look at all of you. can't even speak.

50:24 Yeah, he's like he he's painting himself out to be like this amazing friend, but he's actually so dismissive calling her a common octopus, like belittling her intelligence and then going back home and being like, "Oh, well, I'm friends with an octopus." And the octopus is like, "You are not a You have not even asked me how I'm doing. You just take pictures of me."

50:44 Yeah. You're objectifying me. You're octopus. You're octopusly objectifying me.

50:50 Yeah. So he goes uh so he keeps talking about her and he's like mollusks shouldn't be this intelligent. You're sounding gross, Greg. Like you're really sounding like an

51:02 Yeah. I mean you're the one who's like swimming in this violent water. Who's the intelligent one here? Really?

51:07 Yeah. Um he's like well you go you go into a place under under study and on a weekly basis you can find something new to science. And so we see more of him swimming around and then it's day 104 and it's the whale day.

51:23 Yeah. Which doesn't really mean that much. You just see some whales swimming and it's a full moon and he's decided that since octopuses are supposed to be nocturnal, he wants to see them at night. So he decides to do a night dive, which is even crazier than doing a day dive because it's like a day dive, but you can't see anything except what's in your little flashlight. So he's he's swimming around.

51:42 It's a universal thing that the dark is [ __ ] scary, right? Like it's scary to us as humans. like, "Oh my god, the dark." Like, that's where every horror movie takes place. Like, we get that. That's scary. It's also very scary in the ocean. Okay. That's when all the scary [ __ ] happens in the ocean, too.

51:57 Yeah. Exactly. Have we learned nothing from like the Little Mermaid? Those eels, they really come out at night, I feel like.

52:04 So, he's just swimming around. He's like, "It's a bit scary." I'm like, "Yeah, no, no [ __ ] Sherlock." And you hear the the whales that like there's like in the background, you know? Yeah. And so he's like he goes and she's not in the den of course because it's this is like this is when she it's time to to this is when Patty eats you know like I don't want to be don't don't show me eating. Don't show me eating. I'm wait till night time. No one can see me eating.

52:28 One meal a day. That's right, boys. I'll keep this body forever. And she's basically he finally finds her and she's basically what you would imagine Patty Leone doing to her staff. You no you. No. Yeah. Okay. Come here. Come here. Okay. I've had enough of you. All right. Bring me that. Bring me that glass. All right. All right. Now, where's that memo? She's like jabbing with all her tentacles.

52:47 I asked for a coffee, not for a toffee. She's like, "Patty, your enunciation. You got to get better."

52:58 So, she's just like catching fish. That's what she's up to. Yeah. She's hunting and caught the neon jellyfish. Everything is so cool. It looks like it's made up, you know? It looks like a movie. I mean, it is a movie, but it looks like a fake movie. And so hyper alert because there's the sharksun and he's worried because she's not in the den and uh I was going back to shore but then something made me veer slightly to the left to the left.

53:26 It's always to the left to the left to the left right in the shallow water. Can't see what she's doing but [gasps] lightning fast strikes using her arm like this strange weapon. I was like it's an octopus arm. It is a strange weapon. She's literally catching fish. She's eating like

53:43 Yeah. And she's like rolling her arm up in a fraction of a second and then catching them. It's so cool. And he's like, "I've never seen this in the day. [gasps] It's different. The sharks, it's different for the sharks. It's more dangerous now." Uh because the dark I I guess the the sharks are afraid of the dark or something. Is that what it is?

54:02 I wasn't totally sure. I I wasn't I wasn't sure what was going on, but I guess it just was safer for her at night cuz I don't know. Stupid sharks are all

54:10 performs only at night. Okay. Like she's not a matinea person except for Mondays.

54:16 We're dark on Mondays. So then we cut back to Craig and he's sitting at his table and he's just staring off and he's like the first instinct is to scare Shocks away, but that's interfering with the process of the forest. I'm like you've already interfered. Okay. cuz you're not a member there and you've already made her feel like she can like hang out with you during the day because she has a protector. So, you've already interfered. So, don't talk about interfering cuz you've already done it.

54:43 And you've already got your old spice smell all over her. She's probably like the strongest smelling thing in the ocean, you know? And I don't want to blame him cuz he seems so nice, but I just don't get I don't get what he's saying. Like yes, it's bad to interfere with things in the forest, but like if you see someone pull out a gun in a 7-Eleven, you know, you want to interfere with like the nature of what's happening in the 7-Eleven, like protect the What did Patty do?

55:07 Yeah, exactly. You're already anthropomorphiz anthropomorphizing this octopus, so might as well just like see it through, right?

55:13 So he's like, she was out of the den near the edge of the forest doing some press on the Today Show, and that's when I saw the shark. And so here comes Jill Xaron like hi.

55:28 So she comes Jill Xaron comes swimming through and so Patty goes to hide, you know, and Patty not Patty's strongest moment. She Patty has really been like on point with everything she's done. All documentary, but this is bad. She just basically is like, "Oh, I'm just going to like sit in this crack where no one will ever be able to find me." But it's like the perfect crack for a, you know, pajama shark, you know?

55:49 Well, those sharks are so stupid. Like you just assume that they're always going to be stupid. But even stupid people luck out sometimes, you know? Look at that guy from Malop.

55:58 Oh god. So she hides in a leaf. Like she wraps herself in a leaf and he's like, "Oh, I thought she's safe right under the rock, but now there are two and now there's these [ __ ] I hate these sharks. I hate them. They're terrible.

56:12 I hate them so much." And then one of them, she's in the crack, but I guess not all the way in. So, one of them clamps down on one of her arms and it's starts rolling around like a dog with a toy, which is really obnoxious.

56:25 Death roll. Yeah, it's a death roll, but it's like trying to be cute. I'm like, you're killing my friend.

56:31 It's not trying to be cute. It's trying to be It's just doing that thing cuz I think that's what um Isn't that what like alligators do, too? Isn't that like how alligators really get you is they like

56:39 Well, yeah. They roll on you. They roll on you to crush you. This thing I guess is

56:43 No, I thought they like I thought like by doing that it sort of like stuns its prey the spinning like you know whatever it is it's like when an animal starts spinning like that it's bad news.

56:52 Yeah. Um so they're like he's rolling around all over the ground turning over and over and I could clearly see her severed ominants mouth and I was so grossed out because it looked like calamari.

57:03 I know. I was like I I felt bad because for a moment I was like ooh that looks like kind of delicious. I was like, I do love I do love I honestly I do love a grilled octopus. It's it's like if you go to a Greek restaurant and you get some grilled octopus, it is like so divine. So I kind of felt bad because that's what it looked like and I was like, "Ooh." And then I was like, "No, no, no. That's Patty's arm. No, we No, stupid. Jill Xarin, get out of there."

57:26 Yeah. I was having such like vegan, vegetarian, flexitarian. I was having like a crisis the whole time, you know? So he chomps the shark chomps down on it and he's like, "And then you have that terrible feeling in your stomach." And I'm like, "Finally, at least we're on the same page now. I do have that terrible feeling in my stomach."

57:44 Yeah. So now Patty's like, "Okay." But now she's like weak. And so now she's just like she's like, "Uh." And she's like, "Thanks a lot for the help." I mean, uh, I I befriended you for a reason. You just stood there and watched while this [ __ ] shark ripped my arm off, and I'm just I'm just supposed to sit here and we're supposed to be cool. No thanks. I'm going to my den.

58:05 And not only watched, but watched with a [ __ ] camera, you know? It's like all the crimes we see committed. Like, you see Twitter videos and you're like, why was nobody helping? You know, like, how are you all sitting there with your cell phones out watching this terrible [ __ ] happen? And she's probably thinking the same thing about him. Like, you're filming me now, Craig.

58:23 And then he's like, I wanted to help her back to the den, but I didn't need to. Like, well, oh, oh, a little little too little too late. Okay, Craig, if you wanted to help, you should have helped with the shark. Yeah, sorry I let your arm get eaten off. Can I give you a ride home? Like, no, Craig.

58:40 And he's like, I didn't know what would happen to her. Would they finish her off that night? Well, it's a question you wouldn't have to ask if you just intervened in the first place. And she [ __ ] Craig,

58:50 seriously. So, she closes her eyes under the rock and I'm crying again. I cried like 10 times in this movie. So, I'm crying. I'm like, this poor thing. and like her friend betrayed her and he comes up for breath and he's like he's so depressed though to in his you know to his credit he's depressed he's like I didn't know what was going to happen to her was this going to make her weak and vulnerable and finish her off I couldn't help but feeling am I responsible for this

59:16 yes yes you are you are then and then he's like I felt like it's something that had happened to me no are all your limbs intact it did not happen to you and he's he's like I started to think about my own death, my own vulnerability, my child. What's his face? What's his name again? Who's his mother?

59:36 Tiny little pooper man, whatever he is. You know, I hadn't been an overly sentimental person towards animals before. But she was teaching me to become sensitized to the other. And I thought that was really sweet. And I also thought it was funny that he's like, I'm going through my own dismembering as I walk to get myself a cup of coffee. liking this,

59:57 Craig. Also, you're not that sentimental because uh you let your friend's arm get ripped off by a shark. So,

1:00:05 yeah. And also, I was thinking about real estate. Like, how much does that place cost? Because wow. I mean, this place was amazing. I mean, we The house looks beautiful for about the octopus den. I was like, I thought you were making a joke about the octopus den.

1:00:19 No, that's like the underground parking of an apartment. But this place, his house is gorgeous. And he's like, look at me. so depressed and he's looking out on this balcony that looks over the entire ocean. I mean, it's stunning. It is beautiful. But then I was like, "But you can't plug in a TV cuz you live at the water line. So, is it worth having this beautiful of a place if you can't even watch TV?"

1:00:42 Seriously. Well, they probably don't believe in TV. Okay. They probably like they read books.

1:00:46 Yeah. They had to like drive into the city's Applebees to watch this on Netflix.

1:00:51 Yeah. So then um so he goes back to visit her the next day and he's all scared and she's alive and breathing but she's weak and she's dull and white. She doesn't even have the energy to change colors. So he's like, "I know I shouldn't interfere, but I must." So I got her an appetizer here. A muscle. I'm like, "Oh, so now it was cute, but I'm also like, "Oh, so now it's okay to interfere. You're allowed to like like you're going to serve her a muscle. Okay. Looks delicious. Where's the ioli? Where's the aioli?"

1:01:18 Yeah. And he opens it for her. This is really cute. He's like, "Yours's not feeling well. Let me open this muscle for you." But it's such a man thing to do, isn't it? It's like he cheats on you and then he brings you chocolates the next day. Like, "Oh, that fixes everything Craig."

1:01:31 Yeah, the muscle fixes everything. And meanwhile, the muscles are like, "What? What? What? What did I do to deserve this?"

1:01:36 I felt so bad when she was all dull and white. It was like in Cocoon where they were all young and vibrant and then they turned old again and died. It was like It was like those last shots, you know?

1:01:47 Yeah. So, I never saw Cocoon, but I did recently read the plot. I did recently read the plot description on a Wikipedia, and that's really not a lie.

1:01:56 It sounds like I'm making a joke, but I I was like I went on a strange I went on a strange journey about Cocoon.

1:02:02 Okay, so you have Cocoon, Steel Magnolia, and The Color Purple. Oh my god, I'm going just be crying all day.

1:02:09 Well, Cocoon is more of a comedy. I mean, it's like it's got some drama in it, but it's more of a comedy. But there's,

1:02:16 you know, I'm very sentimental these days. Even though I haven't cried yet in this movie, I I I I get sentimental when I think about death, and it makes me like really tear up for

1:02:24 Ben. You're talking about wanting to eat an octopus while you're watching an octopus.

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Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "#3132 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)"?

Ben (Guest), Ronnie (Host), Craig (Guest).

What is "#3132 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)" about?

The discussion focuses on the Netflix documentary "My Octopus Teacher," highlighting the emotional impact it has on viewers and its exploration of the bond between a man and an octopus. The speakers, initially skeptical about the film, express their surprise at its profound effect, noting its potential to resonate with audiences in a way similar to popular wildlife documentaries, despite its…

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

10 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including My Octopus Teacher, Western Cape, South Africa, Cape of Storms, Pajama Sharks, The Great Dance, Tiger King. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "#3132 Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)"?

The episode runs 1 h 6 min; the transcript is about 13,433 words in 266 timestamped sections.

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