#3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Bethany, Real Housewives of New York, Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Bethany, Ramona
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Bethany, Ramona
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Bethany, Mark Tinsley, Ramona, Sonia Morgan
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Bethany, Ramona, FAO Schwarz, Mark Tinsley
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Bethany, Ramona, Red Cross, Mark Tinsley
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Bethany, Ramona, Red Cross
8. 1:10:00 – 1:15:56: Argentina, Palm Beach, Mark Tinsley, Real Housewives of New York

Notable quotes from "#3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas"

• But I could not believe this gift that came down from the Bravo gods. It's just Real Housewives of New York. They know how to bring it, which at this point is now just sounding…

  about Real Housewives of New York · at 0:54

• Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City. Lord knows there's enough dragons, breathing all over people in this show.

  about Game of Thrones · at 2:46

• Jolie Care. We care about you. Okay. So, we start where we left off last week at Darinda's house with Bethany and Carol and their passive aggressive passive aggressive fighting and flapper outfits.

  about Bethany · at 5:29

• So Bethany is You know what? This time we're different places, like you were traveling with Tinsley and like and I don't need your commentary and I don't need your commentary. And Carol's Oh, yeah. you're right. My friend.

  about Mark Tinsley · at 8:19

• Lann's a lo a loser. So, she's like now stirring her own loser stew over there and Ramona's chiming in. I don't know if you noticed it because Len goes, What did you say about me? What did you say about me? And Ramona goes, You're a loser.

  about Ramona · at 13:50

• Yeah. So, she comes in and Lannne is Oh, yeah. She's like talking about her Red Cross. I'm why am I talking so much about blood? She's I'm giving to the Red Cross because…

  about Red Cross · at 44:06

• Decorations, he comes in with a huge nutcracker that Bethany had requested from FAO Schwarz for Brin. So oh my god. Everybody's Oh my god. Everyone's so Bethany just starts screeching at this point. She's just Oh my god,.

  about FAO Schwarz · at 46:51

• And it's Oh, so what's the plans for the holidays? And L's Well, let me go to Palm Beach. cuz my brother's in Jupiter, I guess you could say, going out of this world. Would you…

  about Palm Beach · at 51:51

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Bethany — Person · 63 mentions · first at 5:34
• Ramona — Person · 30 mentions · first at 13:55
• Mark Tinsley — Person · 9 mentions · first at 8:23
• Ben Mandelker — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:27
  Crains, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this wonderful Thursday afternoon is the hilarious and glorious…
• Ronnie Carum — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:37
  Wonderful Thursday afternoon is the hilarious and glorious and supportive of other women Ronnie Carum from Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose. What's going on Ronnie?
• Jolie Care — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:24
  Here and cheer you on silently side of the road on. I'm just putting on Yeah. That was Jolie Care by the way.
• Sonia Morgan — Person · 1 mention · first at 38:00
  Made it through that. So Sonia comes up. She's Hi, Dire. It's me, Sonia Morgan.
• Dina — Person · 1 mention
• Dr. Jeff Leo — Person · 1 mention
• Luanne — Person · 1 mention
• Sonia — Person · 1 mention
• Young Carol (Yan Carol) — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Red Cross — Company · 6 mentions · first at 44:12
• Real Housewives of New York — Company · 5 mentions · first at 0:59
• FAO Schwarz — Company · 2 mentions · first at 46:54

Concepts & topics

• Game of Thrones — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 2:46
• Real Housewives of New York City — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 2:46
  Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City. Lord knows there's enough dragons, breathing all over people in this show.
• Emmy — Concept · 2 mentions
• Deadliest Catch — Concept · 1 mention · first at 2:28
  Something other. Like sorry. Like let's can we like not give it to Deadliest Catch or not nominate Deadliest Catch or Crabs on the Ocean or whatever those shows are called?…
• Top Chef — Concept · 1 mention · first at 3:13
  Amazing about your race anyway? Please bring me the Real Housewives of New York City. Top Chef, take a seat, sir.

Places & events

• Palm Beach — Place · 4 mentions · first at 51:55
• Argentina — Place · 2 mentions · first at 1:10:30
  Because I'll be going to Palm Beach regular Tinsley. Then I'll be going to Chile, then I'll be going to Argentina, and then it goes 48 hours later.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:08 What happens when there's so much crap? Who cares? There's so much that Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crains, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this wonderful Thursday afternoon is the hilarious and glorious and um supportive of other women Ronnie Carum uh from Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose. What's going on Ronnie?

0:44 Well, hello Be. How are you? I'm doing so great today. Okay. Classic episode Real Housewives New York City.

0:52 Oh my god, this was an amazing episode. But I could not believe this gift that came down from the Bravo gods. It's just Real Housewives of New York. They they know how to bring it, which at this point is now just sounding cliche or what trit or I don't know. It's like it's like it's it's not a novel thing to say they know how to bring it, but every time they do bring it, it's like wow. Wow. They just bring it non-stop. I mean, this was a this was an episode that had like three full cast set pieces in it, you know, and that's just part for the course, you know, and and we say it a million times. Everyone always says it, you know, if this were Beverly Hills, this would be three episodes right here. But the truth is, I mean, you It's true. It's like like no other no none of these other franchises can compete.

1:37 Oh my god. We'd have interventions for like 12 different people, like even side characters on this show. Oh my I I just I can't run. This this episode was so good. It was so hil I was cracking up the entire time. I mean everything and I and I mean these editors, they know how to craft a show. The producers and the editors who obviously worked well together, they they are just blazing hot. I This is like Emmy worthy storytelling right here. Like those Emmy voters have No, I'm serious. Those Emmy voters have to get their snobbery out of their asses. Okay. When it comes to the reality TV category, like this needs to be nominated for whatever what is the category like reality non-competition something other. Like sorry. Like let's can we like not give it to Deadliest Catch or or not nominate Deadliest Catch or Crabs on the Ocean or whatever those shows are called? Like can we can we at least get some appreciation for the

2:36 craftsmanship that goes into a show like this? cuz it is it is better and funnier than a lot of scripted television shows. There I said it.

2:46 Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, Lord knows there's enough dragons,

2:52 you know, breathing all over people in this show. Yeah. Um, so we open where we left off last week.

2:58 Thank you for letting me have that rant. Thank you. Thank you for letting me have a moment.

3:02 No, I was with you. And if ever I'm in the Emmy voting category, I will say no more to you. Amazing race. What is so amazing about your race anyway? Please bring me the Real Housewives of New York City. Top Chef, take a seat, sir.

3:15 Well, I mean, I I'm trying to remember. It's like it's I'm sorry. I'm always [ __ ] Well, they're in the competition category. I think the non-competition category is like inside the actor studio or something like that, which is like,

3:27 oh, give me a break. But like, come on. Here's the thing. interview actors. WOW.

3:34 YEAH. HOW ABOUT HEY, WHATEVER happened to Entertainment Tonight, James Lipton? Yeah. Go back to making tea, James Lipton.

3:40 Yeah, no kidding. Go back to teaagging, you son of a gun. Go back to sitting on a chair. Um,

3:46 turtlenecks are out. Woo! Just ruined your life. Here's the thing here. Here's why Real House of New York will never get nominated for an Emmy in the reality non-competition program, whatever. is a there is a lot of snobbery when it comes to reality TV even amongst I don't know who votes for reality TV in the Emmys because I I don't know if it's people who work in reality or if it's the whole thing. So, first of all, I suspect it's the entire academy. So, they already have skewed views on what is good reality TV, you know. Um, it's just, you know, it's probably like a lot of old people who, you know, care more about Game of Thrones than they do about reality TV. So, they're like, "Oh, well, this James Lipton, he looks sophisticated, you know, and like

4:26 and people also fail to realize that Real Housewives of New York really ultimately is a comedy. It is a comedy show." And people see them like, "Oh, it's just it's just women arguing." You know, it's kind of this like elitist view on these shows. This elitist like if it's not made me men made for men, it's not serious and shouldn't be taken seriously. And I say, "Stop it."

4:48 Oh, for Christ's sake. Everybody go march in the streets for the real housewives. It's like the reverse the reverse feminism march. Like, let's go march for housewives. It is all ladies fighting. And guess what? That is fine by me. That's an art unto itself. But I'm saying it should be here's the thing. The view the perspective should be you know what that is old ladies fighting. I'm nominating it. Not it's just old ladies fighting. Whatever. Let the ladies be ladies. You know

5:16 I'm with you. Thank you. You know I'm with you. I'm not going to argue with that. I'm just going to sit here and cheer you on silently side of the road on. I'm just putting on

5:24 Yeah. That was Jolie Care by the way. Yeah. She cares about us. Jolie Care. We care about you. Okay. So, we start where we left off last week at Darinda's house with Bethany and Carol and their passive aggressive aggressive passive passive aggressive aggressive aggressive fighting and flapper outfits.

5:41 Yeah, that's the best part is that they have this really this they they have a a serious fight while dressed like they're, you know, from the Great Gatsby.

5:51 Yes. And people on online have pointed out that Beth's basically wearing a silver thong on her head. Now, as someone who doesn't wear thongs, I didn't see that, but now I do see it, and it's all I can see.

6:01 Yeah, that is actually an amazing observation. Thank you, internet. Yes, thank you. So, they're in the middle of their fight. And we start with Carol going, "Come on, let me talk. YOU TALK A LOT, [screaming] PLEASE." And Bethany goes, "Well, when you when you talk, you talk whiny." Okay, you have whiny talk. You want to You want a whiny talk right now? Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Talk. The way you talk is whiny. The way you talk is whiny. It's whiny. It's whiny talk. It's like talk talk.

6:26 So she's like, "You don't want to let me tell my story, Carol. You don't want to let me tell my story." She's like, "I just want to know." No, you don't want to know cuz you won't let me talk. So neither one of them is letting the other one talk, but neither one of them really has anything to say.

6:38 Well, they actually do have things to say, but they instead of actually just saying it, they are getting um caught up on you won't let me talk. You're talking over me. I'm like, "All right, just say what you have to say. Well, don't talk over me." Okay. So, and then Bethany will be like, "Well, here's what I felt." Okay. It's like, "No, you just talked over It's like, you know, you guys are arguing over like Carol, stop interrupting her. Just just hold your tongue for a second. And Bethany, stop getting hung up on the fact that she's interrupting you and just say what you have to say. Okay,

7:04 listen. There's a song. It's called Say You, Say Me. I know that song. Hit it, boy.

7:10 Say you, Say Me. Say it together like you have a cabaret. Three, two, one. I'm gonna be in Chicago.

7:20 All right. What rhymes with Adam's an operator? Okay. Okay. So, this is where the fight gets really weird for me because again, the show makes me jump sides every damn show. I'm a hypocrite. And I don't even know what side I'm on anymore because

7:35 Bethy's like, "Well, yeah, of course I called him an operator. Remember when we talked, I called him an operator. I told you I think he's an operator." No, no, no, no. Which if she already told you that, what do you call the phone company doesn't mean that he's an operator.

7:47 Just cuz his phone number is zero. Just because I met him when I called 2125551212 doesn't make him an operator.

7:59 Well, you know, it's all a branding issue. I mean, if my phone number was zero, I'd say it was Oh, give me a call at Oh.

8:07 Oh, yes. Uh, it was so nice of Oprah Winfrey to make a magazine about my phone number. Oh,

8:12 thank you, sir. So, I'm going to sue Oprah Winfrey for publishing my phone number to the masses. So, oh, [clears throat] so Bethany is like, "You know what? This time we're different places, you know, like you were traveling with Tinsley and like, you know, and like and I don't need your commentary and I don't need your commentary." And Carol's like, "Oh, yeah. You know, you're right. My friend in LA's husband died, so I spent time in LA, too. So, thanks for reminding me that my friend's husband died." You know, like they weren't really getting anywhere.

8:38 Yes. And then you've got Sonia shaking her head over on the side like she's the mature one. I love when Sonia's the mature one. It always cracks me up. She's like, "This is very awkward. because they're very close friends of mine. And Carol's like, "Yeah, but you said you told me about telling Adam Houston, and you never told me about Adam," which who cares. What is this about telling Carol about Adam going to Houston? Why does that matter?

9:01 I don't know. I I was I was a little I was actually a little confused as to what was said to what and what was offensive to what at this point. But basically, Bethany is getting frustrated. So, she stands up to leave. D is like, "Don't leave. Don't leave. Say what you had to say. Don't leave. So, so Beth's like, "All right, Adam." So, she sits down and she's like, she's like, "Okay, like don't interrupt me, okay? Just let me say what I got to say." All right. So, here's the deal. So, what I when I when I texted you and I said this thing about Adam and and Carol's like, "Exactly." And basic, like, "You know what? I can't. It's impossible. I can't get away. I get I can't I can't get I'm" I'm like, "You're getting paragraphs in edgewise. That's how you talk." So, she's getting up pacing around. Carol's, you know, pacing around with her Well, she's got like a walker on her voice. Her voice is pacing

9:44 around at this point. IT'S LIKE A [screaming] I DON'T KNOW what they're talking

9:49 balls on her voice just Yeah. Exactly. Then she's like, "My voice isn't scratching your floor, Dinda." So she's like, "There those scratches were already there. I took pictures." And then it cuts to Lann with this big long cigarette on a cigarette holder and she's like, "So [snorts] yeah." So now again, once again, there's the they're talking about Adam and and Carol's like, "You know, you said it was just when you guys were talking, it was just a business thing, but you never told me about this whole situation or something like that." And like, yes, I did. Yes, I did. And then Lan just goes, "I don't give a [ __ ] about Adam."

10:27 He goes, "He is an operator. That's why he dated my niece." I'm like, "Oh jeez, that tea lasted long. Don't you remember your Chinese tea outfit? Did you waste it already? It's already wasted. So she's like, "He dated my niece." And girl goes, "Oh, Lanne, stop. No one cares what you think, Lan." And she goes, "Oh, really?" Well, where did you meet him then? In my kitchen. That's right. In my kitchen. Because of my niece. Don't forget it. He's an operator. Smooth operator with watermelon radishes. How dare you? How dare you?

11:02 This is no ordinary radish. So, the music here is just completely on point. Trixie Monle is killing it. So, first Beth's like, "What? I didn't tell you about Houston." And the music goes, "Snap." It's like snaps. And then Carol's like, I mean, when Lance's like, "My kitchen. My kitchen." The music goes like uh in Ferris Buer, you know, the song.

11:34 I forget the band that did that. I want to say it's yes, but it's not yes. Yes.

11:38 Trixie Monle in the watermelon radishes. Come to Countest and Friends. I'll be singing my favorite song. Bow bow. Yes. Cha cha. So Lanne still ends like he is an operator. And he jumped on Carol from my niece. And Jen's like, "Uh, Lannne, I mean, he was with Carol for three years. I don't know if that's an operator." And she goes, "Whatever time it takes. He's an operator. He's a little boy from the Midwest. Okay, that's who he is.

12:06 He's just a boy from like from the Midwest. He's just a small town boy coming from the Midwest. He arrives in New York City to be an operator. Don't stop cabareting. Hold on to that feeling.

12:25 Oh, if that even rhymes, Lanne. So Carol's mad at Lan and Lannne is still now Lann's whispering to Sonia. He was my he was with my knees for six months. And Sony's like, I know Jesus.

12:37 Not even our love seat. I would have believed it if it was true love if it was on his on the love seat, but it was a couch.

12:42 So then Bethany tries to take it back. She's like, "All right, look, look, look. It was summer. We were busy. We were both busy. I'm busy being an international business woman selling multiple things. You were busy doing whatever it is that you do." And Caroline Carol's like, "Yeah, we were busy." And she and I'm so proud of you, Carol. I'm so proud of you because I don't know what would you walk a block. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. Carol, would you get out of BED ONE DAY? WHOA, CAROL. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. CAROL. WHOA. WHOA.

13:04 WHOA. I'll pull on a parade for you, Carol. Pulling a pray for you. I just want to remind everyone that Adam is a little boy of the Midwest. That's who he is. Did I say that already? Did I say that?

13:13 So, Carol is sick of listening to Lanne. So, she goes, "Well, I told you I ran the half marathon." And your only response is that Lann's a loser.

13:21 You never even said congratulations on the half marathon. I'm like, Carol, okay, you're really pushing it. Okay, like a half marathon, I'm sorry. Maybe you Oh, cool. Like, good job. But like, that's a half marathon. Yeah.

13:33 Actually, I mean, a half marathon is still more than I could do. So, yeah, I give you props, but like let's

13:38 whatever. Shut up about your [ __ ] marathon. Okay. Yeah. So, she said, you said Lan's a loser. Lan goes, excuse me, what did you just say?

13:47 Lann's a loser. Lann's a lo a loser. So, she's like now stirring her own loser stew over there

13:55 and and Ramona's chiming in. I don't know if you noticed it because Len goes, "What did you say about me? What did you say about me?" And Ramona goes, "You're a loser."

14:03 It's like cracking up, Ramona. Yeah. She goes, "Well, if I'm a loser, the rest of the world sucks."

14:08 Okay. I'm a loser. Really? Then it comes to her talking to us and she's like, "A loser? Do I look like a loser?" I mean, really. I mean, if I'm a loser, God. I mean, right. Do I look like a loser to you?

14:25 I feel like I'm a winner in my very own rented penthouse. So, it's like, you know what? I'm done about it. I'm done. I'm done about it. Okay. I'm done about this. About this. I'm done. Why don't you just say your peace? Do you think you can just say your peace and then say, "I'm done." And she's like, "You know what, Carol? Leave me alone about it, Carol. Leave me alone." And she's like, "Oh, really? See, you're the victim here."

14:45 Oh, so good. And then Dinda has like this moment where she sort of like has like a mini yell. She's like [ __ ] And then Lann's like, "Direa." And then she like gets up and it's like, "I'm going to sit in the chair with you." This is something that nod losers do. They share chairs with people. I'm a giver. You see, don't tell me I don't do charity.

15:06 Can't say charity without chair. I'm This is so good cuz Dire's like I don't even know what she said either. I wrote I wrote down a bunch of letters and then Lann's like, "Direa, [gasps] don't try and make it okay all the time. That doesn't work." And she goes, "Yeah, it does, Lynn. Look, I'm making it okay with you." And then they hug and Dinda's like, "Look at those boobs." And then they like sit together and they start playing with each other's boobs while this fight is going on. And then Ramona comes from like reading reading Rainbow Corner over there. She's like, "Listen, friendships are about understanding each other." And Bethany only wants to understand her own point of view. And it hurts cuz I know that Bethy's hurt.

15:48 That makes me sad because I know she's hurting inside. Hurting inside hurts more than hurting outside. Cuz when you're hurting outside, other people see it and they say you're hurt. But when you're hurting on the inside, nobody sees it. Unless you're a woman with a career that Bethy's not supporting, then you see it and you're like, "You're hurt, bitch." It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapp.

16:14 So Bethany So now Bethany is like getting really shrill, you know, because it's like this she's she's Bethany is now so furious that Carol said that Bethany said that Lannne was a loser. She's furious that Carol is basically putting her on blast for that. She's like, "You think I would tolerate this conversation if you," you know? She's like, Her voice is getting this high thing and she's like, you know, I walk, you know, like what's the matter? Like, I walk out of every unpleasant conversation. Like, I I'm tolerating you right now because I care about you. Huh?

16:44 Like, how old are you? How old are you? I know you want to be 45, but don't act seven. Okay. So, what?

16:48 Yes. And Bethy's right on this one. That was actually a good line. That was a really

16:52 And that was a dick move, Carol. Like, fight your own battles. You don't need to bring everybody into it. And Le's like, "You know what's worse than Carol saying that I'm that you said I'm a loser? the fact that you said it. And she's like, "Look, look, look. I don't know that I said it. I don't know that I said it, but it's possible that I did. Okay, it's possible." She goes, "You think I care what you think about me?" And she stands up and she gets in Bethy's face and he goes, "I hope not.

17:16 I hope not." She goes, "Not for one second." And Bethany goes, "Oh, really? Do you care that you have lipstick on your face?" And then I goes, "Oh, I do, actually. I do." And she's like, "See, you care what I think about you, and I care what you think about me." And she goes, "I do care." All right. I do care. It's fine. And then what was All right, you got me. I care. What can I say? I'm a caring operator. 3 2 1 I care cuz I share. Is that a song? I made it up. So Bethany, also right before that, Bethy's like, L, how many bad things have you said about me? Okay. You're like, you're piling out this document for no reason.

17:49 L's like, I've never said a bad thing about you. Not one thing at all. Haircut. Is it Is it saying something bad if I report a crime? You stole a haircut. Just get mad at anybody who walks into a police station. Why don't you?

18:01 I mean, why would I insult the person who popularized my very own cocktail recipe?

18:06 I'm glad I could help you by letting you steal my idea for a cocktail company. First, you steal my cocktail, then my hair. I mean, what can I say that's bad about you, cuz everything seems to be nothing but flattery.

18:17 Oh, yeah. Well, okay, everyone, I have an announcement. I have said something negative about everyone at this table at some point in time. And Luan goes, "All right, now who's going [clears throat] to die? We're still doing the murder mystery, right? Where's Mr. Feathersby? So Carol

18:29 those guys must have still been in the kitchen like what the [ __ ] is going on out there,

18:33 right? Yeah. So, Carol, her whole thing is like Bethany can never admit to doing something that's less than perfect. Which I I actually think that's a valid point. I mean, Bethany will often talk about her flaws, but she talks about her flaws almost in a way that to immunize herself from criticism. Like, no, look, like I like I know my flaws. I know my issues. Like, don't come at me. Like, I already I already know them. But Carol's kind of right. Like Bethany Bethany has a hard time taking accountability when it comes to friendships. I think the things that she does wrong in friendships.

19:03 Yes. And then Carol has Carol's always trying to relate to the people. So she's like, "When you confront Bethany, she gets in the weeds." I'm like, "What is she a waiter now? Please don't put that image in my head of Bethany being in the weeds." Like, "Oh my god, oh my god. I got so many tables. This is too much going on here. There's too much going on. I got too much going on."

19:20 Like literally like skinny weeds. That's what I call them. You know what? It's like it's like you go to your garden and and now you got weeds but they're skinnier than usual. Skinny weeds. Huh. So Beth is like Bethany is like this is a seismic rift. Okay. You know what? Like Carol Carol said that Carol said saying that like I called you Louis the loser. Like that that's like that's a Ramona move. That's like Ramona move. Okay. That's bad. That's bad. So it's like okay this is this is bad. Now she's comparing Carol to Ramona.

19:41 Yes. And there are often separate corners complaining about each other. And so Carol's like, "Well, she wasn't supportive. She didn't donate a penny to my charity and I didn't say anything." Carol, it was a marathon. Okay. If you want people to give you money, sell some Girl Scout cookies on your way. You know what I mean? That's how to do a marathon.

19:59 Yeah. Exactly. And also, it's like Bethany is literally chartering airplanes to go to Puerto Rico. I mean, it it just came out today. I guess the White House said that this was the the best FEMA response of all times to Puerto Rico. I think that's what I saw in the view like fleetingly today. So, I'm sorry if I get that wrong. And like I I don't know why I'm bringing that up. I'm not trying to politicize this podcast, but the point is that Bethany was actually doing stuff. She was doing more than FEMA, I feel like. And and so Carol's like you like I ran a marathon, you know? It's like, okay, like Carol, like sorry if Bethany didn't First of all, I think Bethany did donate to you and second of all, sorry if she was preoccupied chartering airplanes to Puerto Rico. I don't know. To me, it just it was a petty moment. So Bethany is still freaking out and squealing like, "Well, she says I don't trust her.

20:44 Now I don't trust her cuz she said the thing. Why would I trust her? And like she's doing her squeal thing where she's just in the manic. Yeah, there's toothpaste. I can't put that toothpaste back in the tube. And so she's squealing and then Lan goes, "All right, now that's enough. Listen here. There is no loser here." It's like, "Let's concentrate on the fight. Someone called me a loser." So she gets a big feather boa thing and she's like, "Oh, child. No, that's Italian. All right, let's start again. Smooth operator."

21:12 She's just singing and Bethy's like, "What happened to this house?" Like I feel 4t tall right now. Like what what the hell is happening? She's like it's the berserkers. Thank you.

21:22 That's what happens. Oh, there we go. French just like my former husband count Alexander Decepts. So um

21:30 fun fun smooth operator. Am I right, girls? Run away. Run away. Run away and save your life. That's by a band called The Real McCoy. So, um, Ramona meanwhile is in the hallway talking to Carol and she's like, "I feel bad. I felt your pain. I felt her pain." It was like, "You know what I'm saying?" Like, "No, Ramona, I don't know what you're saying.

21:54 No one knows what you're saying." So, Bethany is hearing her and so she senses Bethany there. So, she's like, "Look, all I want to say is I love you both, okay? I love you so much." And Bethy's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, now you're on a stage and it's not, you know, that's not what you were saying 10 minutes ago. We get it, Ramona. You're on a stage." And she's like, "Listen, to be or not to be obsessed with healthcare, you know, I think you should be obsessed with your skin." Personally, Ramona singer skincare. Shut up, Ramona.

22:22 Yeah, Ramona loves this. You know, I'm not on a stage. Okay, but that being said, memories like the morning of memories of Mario. Memories. Where's the tire? I'm getting on the tire and I'm floating up into the heavens to see Avery with her friends in the memories. Oh, for Christ's sake. It's not Get off the tire, Ramon. It's not about you. So Ramona's following up this her up the stairs and she's like, well, you know, it's just I know you're friends with her and you have a friendship with her and then she has a friendship with you. And then, you know, other people have friendships with other people. B and Ernie, they have friendships. Bert has a friendship with Ernie. Ernie has a friendship with Bert, you know. And if there's something wrong, guess who's going to feel bad? Me. That's that's what it affects. Consider the real people affected by this. Yeah. It's always sad to see a friendship on the

23:10 rocks, you know? I know you have friendship with her and it's very upsetting to me. It's like, imagine if someone said, "Hey, Ramona, you and Avery, your sister friend, are no longer friends." That'd be very upsetting because we're basically like friends. I know my mother, but I'm basically her equal cuz we look the same. We go out to bars together. We get cocktails. We each get three cocktails. The first cocktail is a short one and a small glass with one ice cube. The second one's a tall one with tequila and three ice cubes and some soda. And the third one has three limes around it and a little bit of ice and a little bit of water. Okay. Okay.

23:44 Let's face it. It's time for a commercial break. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but if we don't take one, it's going to be very day class set. Okay.

23:54 Um, so then we get our South Park segment of the season cuz every year now Dinda's going to try and kill herself in some way. It's like Kenny, you know, from South Park where he just kept dying. Like they would find a new way to kill Kenny every episode. So, it's like every year they're going to try and find a new way to kill Direinda. Last year she was stabbing herself with a knife, not even knowing it. This year she's like, "Happy birthday." Well, actually Ramona takes over the happy birthday, which is probably one of the funniest things. Happy birthday to you. Okay. It's like, "Okay, Ramona, we hear you." So then Dinda has this cake full of candles and just like stabs her face with it.

24:30 Yeah. She's like to try to make things funny, she she like puts her head in the cake. Um, as Danny Pelgro said, Mrs. Doubtfire style, but the thing is that the candles were still lit. Like, she just puts her face into fire.

24:45 Yeah. She's like the Freddy Krueger now of the Birkers. She's like, I dreams. I'm going to stick my tongue out of your phone.

24:54 Hey, why don't you take us? Why don't you go to sleep so we can talk together? You know what's funny is that Lann when when Dinda does that, Lan goes, why did you do that? Why would you do that to yourself? Would you believe it, girls? She ruined the cake. She burned her face with cake candles.

25:08 So then they just all start eating the cake off her face, which was both disturbing and wonderful.

25:13 Yeah. Want to get a party started? Put cake on your face. 3 2 1. Cake on your face. Cake on your face. We got the party started with cake on your face. So then Beth's like, "Oh, you know what? Thank you, Dinda. Thank you for having us." All right, on the count of three, you made it nice. Like these people are crazy. Okay, we just went from the worst fight ever to you made it nice. Everyone's happy.

25:34 Yeah. So, it's 9:20 in the morning. Oh, no. It's 9:20 at night. And Lou and Sonia and the rest of them are just dancing downstairs, humping each other like crazy people. Just wasted.

25:45 I know. And then upstairs, Bethany is for some reason just fully naked except for a little thong. And she's trying to get into the green Santa costume. Just kidding. It's the elf costume. I know. Um, but she's trying to get into it. But like Dinda, she and Dire both drunk and they're both trying to get into it and they're sort of like wrestling and Dinda starts talking. I I forgot what Dinda said in her interview, but it was clearly what they call a pickup, you know, when they basically shoot an interview after the fact. And I don't know what's going on with her hair. Um, I'm going to squarely blame I I believe Luke from Ladies of London is her new hair guy, but she looked like Dorothy's Borneack. It was someone put Derinda in old lady hair and I did not appreciate it.

26:22 Well, it was probably a wig from burning all her hair off. Yeah, maybe that was what it was. So, yeah, they're just giggling and she's like, "I am Santa. I am Santa Bell. Stop trying to take Santa from me. And Beth's like, "Ah, I didn't know she owned Christmas." Okay. I mean, she has a hair of Mrs. Claus. And I've got the jaw of an elf. So, it worked out. I'll just I'll just be her. What's the matter?

26:42 I didn't know that elves had specifically like jaws, like like signature jaws. I thought elves were like had

26:49 fairly standard jaws, you know? Well, I think she's doing the elves from those Claimation movies, which I've been talking about a lot this week for whatever. those Claymation Christmas movies where they all have huge gins.

27:00 I think she's she's probably I think it's her way of saying, "Yeah, I know. I got a jaw situation." Okay. I know. I know. Okay. I know. I know. So, um so now so Bethany So Carol and Dindar are sitting on a bed now and they're like talking about the fight and everything. And then Bethany walks in. She's like, "Oh my god, like it's like a circle jerk of of conversations." See that? I said circle jerk. Is that funny? It's like circle jerk. It's like penis like seaman. It's like it's like I got semen on my face, but it's a conversation.

27:23 It's a seaman conversation. See what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to do this anymore, Carol. Cuz Carol is still talking to Carol's on the bed now talking to Direinda. And uh she's like, "Well, you know, I think Bethany is looking at this through the lens of her own experience like narcissists do." I'm like, "Excuse you. That is what human beings do. God forbid you you apply your own experience to something."

27:47 Yes. And I love this show for making me go so so far to the other side already. It's like last week I was like, "Screw Bethany. Carol's totally right. out there Bethany. And this week I'm like, "Shut up, Carol."

27:58 Well, it's kind of funny. This episode ultimately winds up being very anti- Bethany. So, it is like it's over even the course of the episode, I was a little bit more on Bethy's side during this argument. Uh even though most of the audience, I think, was on Carol's side. I was I was more on Bethy's side, but then it's like by the end of the episode, it's like, ah, but Bethany is she is she's a hard person to get behind sometimes. So, Carol's so they so Darinda leaves them alone and they sit down.

28:23 Like, I got to go. You guys talk. I got Campbell toe leg. I got to apply [clears throat] some aloe to my face. So Carol's like, "All right, I've said my piece. You've said your piece." And Bethy's like, "I never said my piece. I never said my Well, you know, it's an expression." No, I literally never said the word words my peace. Okay, my piece. Okay, now I said my piece.

28:43 She's like, "I've heard the expression Carol." So Carol's like, "Well, the thing is you didn't tell me you said Houston." She's like, "Oh my god, you must be missing a text or an email or something."

28:52 And Carol goes, "No, I'm not." I'm like, you wouldn't know if you're missing it if like, don't say you're not, cuz if you're missing it, you don't know that you're missing it. That's the whole point of a missing text or email.

29:03 Yeah. And Bethany goes, "Oh, so you think I just called you out of the blue and said, Adam sucks." And earlier in the episode, Carol was like,

29:09 possible. Earlier in the episode, Carol was telling Gus, she goes, "But one day, Bethany called me out of the blue and said, "Adam sucks."

29:18 I'm like, Bethany, you do later on call Ramona out of the blue and tell her that she sucks. So it's not like totally unprecedented for people like you know what Adam sucks and actually earlier before

29:26 friends call you they call you out of the blue like is there a certain time that they're supposed to call you? Of course you called out of the blue to say Adam sucks.

29:32 And I actually by the way in Bethy's favor what I like about what I what I liked about her in this argument a little a little bit earlier in the episode when they're still at the table is that I feel like Bethany can can walk back or walk through what she said and her motivations very clearly which is what sort of gives her an edge a little bit in my book. She's like, "So, here's basically what happened. You know, Adam, you know, he asked for rate. No one else asked me for a rate." And so, I called you up and I was like, "Can we be done with Adam already? Like, I'm This is ridiculous cuz she probably was calling to be Cuz Adam, Carol and Adam were sort of like on the outs a little bit." And Bethany called and thought she was sort of like pinging around, you know? Like I think that was what was implied like like let's just like have like a like a [ __ ] sesh about about Adam, you know?

30:15 And then she's like and then I realized that I pushed too many buttons and it wasn't really like working. So I like dialed it back. So she basically said at the table I kind of miscalculated like like our Adam [ __ ] sash, you know,

30:28 and like and I thought that was a very honest, you know, an honest explanation of at least from her.

30:34 Well, we don't know if it's honest, you know, that's the thing with Bethany cuz she keeps changing the things.

30:39 Well, I mean, I'm saying she keeps changing her story, but it felt because she was able to explain it clearly and cogently. That's why it felt more honest to me than

30:47 Well, at least it explains it to me because I don't know even what Carol's mad at now because now I'm like, "Well, okay. So, if if Bethany called you and told you about all this stuff and said that uh Adam wanted to be paid and all this stuff and he's an ass and he's an operator and blah blah blah blah blah, then why are you mad about that now? Are you literally just mad that something was said about Houston and you didn't know about Houston?" Like,

31:09 are you saying is why is Bethany mad or was Carol No. Why is Carol mad? Cuz now Carol's just bringing up Houston. And if you already knew all this other stuff, I thought mad she just heard that uh Bethany was calling Adam, you know, an operator and all this stuff. But if she already knew that, I'm confused.

31:24 No, I think this is why Carol was mad because she knows that there's been like a weird vibe with Bethany. And then she finds out the night before, thanks to basically Ramona and Derinda, that Bethany was talking about this situation, about the operator situation. So in Carol's mind, she thinks Bethany is going around talking [ __ ] about Adam and calling him an operator all around town. So that's got her mad like why the [ __ ] are you doing that? Like that's so obnoxious in her mind when really as far as we can tell this moment happened about the operator moment. Bethany called Carol was like he's an operator and she's like well you know everyone's an operator in business. You are most of all the operator and then and then Bethany told Dinda yeah you know what Adam did this thing and I was like I told Carol I kind of think he's an operator. So, in Carol's mind, she thinks she's mad because she she thinks

32:08 that Bethany is just like it the reason why there's distance is because Bethany has been so pissed about the Adam situation and has been talking to everyone about it except for Carol. Does that make sense? I got lost in my own talk.

32:19 Yeah. I mean, it it mushes my brain. So, I think it's doing the same thing to Carol cuz Carol's just at the point where she's like, "Look, I don't want to fight with you." And Bethy's like, "Well, Carol, it's just like you seem like you're so into yourself right now. like you're into yourself and your fashion and your hair and Tinsley and selfies. And of course, she dropped Tinsley in there, which is basically the problem. And Carol goes, "Selfies? You're like the queen of selfies. You're all over Instagram." And she goes, "Oh, you" She goes, "That's distorted what you're saying. You're saying I like my hair, so you're distorting it into saying I like my hair." I'm like, "You two are making me [ __ ] crazy with this." Okay,

32:55 just be quiet. The both of you just be quiet. But the thing is that like you know Bethany was being hypocritical cuz she is also about about selfies. But you know to say that someone is now all of a sudden about selfies. It doesn't mean that like you personally can't be about selfies like if you're the accuser. It just means that you know you never were about this before. Now suddenly you're about it. Like I've always been about it so I have no problem with it but you never were about it. Now suddenly you're about it in a way that's sort of like sad. And the truth is that what Bethany is saying is what we've been saying for the past few years. You know, Carol sitting on that counter at the camera shop being like, "Cool." You know, like this has been Carol's fatal flaw is this trying to be kind of like young and hip all this time. And then of course that opens up this whole other can of worms,

33:36 which I'm not going to go into is like why can't a woman do that, you know? But like I'm not going to bother with that. But the point is Bethy's basically saying what we've been saying.

33:43 Yeah. Except that it's not sudden. Bethany just needs Bethany will pick out anything that and then she just buries the Tinsley in there, you know?

33:50 Well, I think cuz Tins it really is about Tinsley, right? Because it's not just that Carol's trying to be young because she's always trying to be young. It's

33:56 what I'm saying. She just drops Tinsley in like all of these other complaints that have no

34:00 she's basically saying you think that like you and Tinsley are like two, you know, 41 gal 41year-old gals like gallivanting across the city and you're not you're not you're not you're not Tinsley's contemporary here is basically what Bethany is saying.

34:14 Yeah. So then they cut to downstairs. The ladies are now humping each other. Yeah.

34:19 Meanwhile, downstairs is Caligula. It's like Lan being like, "Oh, Frodage origin."

34:25 It's like droopy eyes wide shut. They're just all like They're just swarming on each other down on It's It's like a It's like a rat king happening down on the couch.

34:34 Yeah. So then back upstairs, Bethy's like, "Look, everyone has their own stuff. Like you had a breakup and then I had to go way too deep in this charity. I just got in too deep." It's like they want too much. I'm in too deep. I'm in too deep. I'm in too deep.

34:46 What is the charity doing? I know. Like what did they what did they what did who did they abduct for you to get to get the like all right Bethany we cracker that you want and we're not giving it back to you until you have tried to rescue planes.

35:01 Yeah. And Carol's like honey I got it. Which of course she says all the time. I'm just pointing that out. She like don't call me honey. Don't call me honey.

35:09 Uh so she's like that got to a 10. It didn't need to. She goes all right let's bring it to a seven. Well it's a seven now. It's a seven now. So we can't bring it to a seven. All right. It's in a two. Well I want a zero. I want a zero. How about that? It's like, oh my god, we're even arguing about which I You know what I want? I want zero divided by one because you know what that is? It's an imaginary number. It's an I. Okay. I want I want I right now. Imaginary numbers.

35:28 It's like, well, you know, now I'm in these PJs cuz Darn is in the other PJs. She's like, "Oh, you have other PJs, too." And she goes, "Yeah, they're Darren's vagina right now. Like, they're so far up her vagina." It's like she's going to give birth to a baby like velvet Santa Claus suit.

35:42 Dinda did mention having cameltoe a few times this episode. She was like, "All right, got I got some camel too on my Santa Claus."

35:52 So, um, now it's all of a sudden we're just the next morning. It's just it's like after all that they're like, "Okay, let's bring it down to a two." Okay, next morning. So, now it's the next morning and, uh, we are in the the blue fish room where Lann's like in bed with Sonia and Bethany is in the other bed. And I was like, "Was this the sleeping arrangement?" And it wasn't. And it was kind of funny because Bethany just sort of like startles awake and I feel like that's how she wakes up every morning like, "H, what's going on? What's up?

36:14 What's up? What's going on? What's going on? [gasps] Well, what startled her is Lan going, "Water, water, water." And she's like awake and she goes, "Oh my god. Oh my god. It's like being woken up by Darth Vader.

36:24 Oh my god. We're in the death tower." Okay. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm out of space. Okay. I didn't do any training. Okay. Oh my god.

36:31 So funny. Oh my god. What are we doing? Is Betty Ford open? Like what's wrong with us? What's on those fish up there? Why is there fish on the walls? It's like a bad lesbian porno flick with the fish. It's like a It's like a bad lesbian fish porn flick.

36:41 I'm like, what? I'm like, "Okay, I know you're going for a joke here, Bethany, but like, you know, it's it's it's like three women sleeping benignely in beds. It's like women fully clothed under the covers."

36:54 Cracks me up the alarm. Water. Water. Oh my god. It's like Darth Vader. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's a Kraken. Oh my god.

37:02 Kraken. It's Lan. By the way, Betty Ford, the Betty Ford reference also great foreshadowing.

37:07 Oh yeah. Um she's like uh promises. Anyone want to make some promises? Uh, so Dorinda comes to the door and she's like, "Hello, it's me, Dinda. Just reminding you there's a coffee station downstairs and if you want some coffee, you can get it yourself cuz I a goddamn hy. All right, so if you want your goddamn coffee and then Lan just opens the door and drags her in."

37:32 Come into the Kraken room. Guys, did I have horrible gamble last night? It was awful, but at least you weren't called a loser.

37:42 right now. So then down in the kitchen, Lann's in this huge blue fur, which is this [ __ ] show. So they're all eating and Dire's like, "We're tough [ __ ] and we made it through that." So Sonia comes up. She's like, "Hi, Dire. It's me, Sonia Morgan. We should have a talk." Yeah, [gasps] I just wanted to show you these photos of all of the issues in the room that we stayed in so that you can't blame them on me later.

38:12 It was She's like, "All right, here there's a nick on the floor." That was that pre-existed us. Here's another one. It looks like it's Lann's button impersonation button pressing in the wall. It's not. It was there before. Here's the swordfish. We didn't bring the swordfish in. That was on the wall. Also, Ramona is dating the swordfish, but she didn't rip it off the wall. So, I just wanted proof.

38:33 So, they basically all swordfish. They basically all leave like it's time to go.

38:37 Well, they're all they all just they're all packing up and all of a sudden we see Bethany go up to Carol be like, "All right, I love you. I'll talk to you later. Okay, let's just spy the [ __ ] out. Okay, I love you." I'm like, "Wait, what? Did this get a resolved? Did I miss something?"

38:47 Yeah. Um Well, I mean, as much as they do, they said they wouldn't stop fighting. I don't know if it left on a 10 or a two or a zero. I don't think they ever agreed on that. But, yeah, they agreed to stop fighting. But of course, it's his housewives. And now Carol's got a bone. And Carol will not let go of that bone. No. Okay. And Bethany is the same way. But Bethany will come out at Shadier. Carol's just every scene from now on, Carol's going to be like, "Marathon, Bethany. Marathon Bethany."

39:13 It's a great time to bring back a Viva. That's what I got to say. So, Miss Ryder Girl, so they're gone, right? Did you want to say anything else before they leave?

39:21 I did not. In my mind, it's over. In my mind, we're we're shutting the door to the Birkshire's 2018, which is which is a shame.

39:29 Yes. Uh and then she's all impressed with Sonia. She's like, "Oh, look at Sonia has a list of things to do. Look, congratulations. You didn't rip things off the wall this year." Isn't that what house gets to do? So, now we now we go back down to New York City and we get to see uh we we we actually don't even see pops of what everyone's doing. We just see Sonia at home. She has that like rust that dog, that rust colored dog that she sort of throws on the bed. And a contractor arrives. This is a guy named Leo. And basically, he's there to to fix things in the uh in the townhouse that way she can rent it out. She's like, "You got to you got to spend money in order to make money." I'm like, "Why are you yelling? Why are you yelling?"

40:04 So, yeah, she's in community theater mode in that scene. She's like, "It's me. It's Sonia." Where she's always facing the cameras and like shaking her head really big.

40:13 So, she's showing him the stuff that needs to get done. She's like, "Oh, and I also forgot to tell you. I had sex on the sink in the bathroom downstairs like in 2008. But, you know, it separated the sink from the wall. And then there's also the towel rack cuz you know, you got to hold on to the towel rack while your butt's going on the sink. You know how it is. But I was able to glue the towel rack on myself. You know, I just used some leftover jizz. It hardens up just like great crazy glue. The guy's like, "Knowing that my bathroom is kept together by a bunch of could have been babies. I mean, let me tell you, it's just changing everything. You know how hedge fund guys are, right?

40:43 Pickles in the walls. Could just let her free. Thanks." Meanwhile, we have Bethany at her place and she's trying to start a fire in her fireplace. She's like, "Come on, you got to be kidding me right now. Like, what's what's this not going to work?" I was like, "You need to take some lessons from Lanne." She that that one knows how to start a fire.

40:56 Yeah. And this is uh this We didn't start the fire. Just kidding. I did. I started the fire.

41:01 Started I almost burned out the entire house. The Bergkers. Bethany didn't start the fire. She was always burning because her world was turning in Skinny Girl. Headline. Headline. Another another headline headline headline's going to jail. Oh, that's the future. That's her nature.

41:19 That's that's her version of We Didn't Start the Fire Tinsley's in a fight with Sonia. Ramona's Mario left her and Tom and Lan got divorced. We didn't start the fire. You know those hedge fund guys, right? So Bethy's uh yeah having a party at her house now for Christmas and it's my annual Christmas party. Like nothing says more than more about Christmas than sushi. Am I right, guys? Am I right? Fire and sushi.

41:48 Yeah. You know, they tried to elevate Bethy's holiday party to an annual tradition, but I'm sorry. It is It's not I mean, even though she's had them every single year, they are not iconic. I first of all, they're always like during the day, which feels a little like not as fun. And it's always like they sit around her couch while the while like the servants just stare. They eat sushi and then they everyone leaves. You can tell it's like a 90minute occasion and no one really wants to be there.

42:12 Yeah. And this is a situation you don't want an open kitchen, you know? It's like the help is just like, "Oh, good." So, uh, Sonia shows all the girls start showing up and Bethy's being super nice to everybody because she's just had a public fight with one of them. So, she's like uber nice to everybody, which I love when she does this and doesn't realize that she's like suddenly, "Oh, I'm nice Bethany now. Oh my god, look at Sonia. Look, Sonia, you look like a model right now. Like, you're really feeling yourself. And then Sonia goes, "Well, you know, I had to use a washcloth because my house is just all wrapped up." So, basically, I gave myself a horse math. Anyone want to smell me? I mean, I need to move out, but I don't have a place. Can I stay with you, Tinsley? Yeah. Which that'll be an interesting twist. Or that was an interesting twist. By the way, did you notice Bethany was wearing like this big

42:58 golden sequined top with skinny skinny jeans, which I'm just going to suspect I'm going I'm going to surmise that those were skinny girl skinny jeans, right? Like those had to be because it was

43:11 Did they have like the bedazzled [ __ ] on the sides? I couldn't tell. But it just it felt like such a strange outfit because it was the top did not match. Like it was not those are not two things that you wear together. It seemed like very strange. So, I was like, the only reason why she'd have this strange outfit on is if she wants to be wearing her Skinny Girl jeans on TV, which I think is important, my theory

43:34 for the upcoming for the upcoming war. The Skinny Girl War. Yeah. So, everyone starts arriving and people showing up and then L arrives and like no one notices. She goes, "Well, don't anybody get up. Just a loser has walked in. A loser with her own cabaret show." Just a loser. Oh, one 2 3 4 I'm a loser. A loser. I own it. That's called owning it when you're at Friends.

44:01 Baby, so why don't you kill me? Um, yeah. So, she comes in and uh Lannne is Oh, yeah. She's like talking about her Red Cross. I'm like, why am I talking so much about blood? She's like,

44:16 I'm giving to the Red Cross because things happen and people need blood. So, I figure why not get all of my my blood sucking vampire old lady friends together and give a little. And I was like, this is not going to work out. Who in this group could possibly even be eligible to give blood?

44:33 I know. They're not going to take this blood from any of these ladies and they don't.

44:37 No, they most certainly do not. She's like, "What better way to give for the holidays than give the gift of blood?" I was like, "There's got to be a better way to say that. I mean, they won't let us hand out bottles of sky, so this is the next best thing.

44:50 So, Carol arrives and she and Bethany are sort of pretending to still be friends. They're sort of having a, you know, the, you know, fake pleasantries like, "Oh, how are you doing?" Oh, sushi, that's nice. Oh, you look good. Yeah, you look good, too. Yeah, that's nice. Okay. Yeah. Happy holidays. Yeah. Yeah. How's the How's that? How's that operator boyfriend of yours? Huh? Good. Okay, good. Yeah.

45:09 And so, now they're going to play the White Elephant Party, which is we all know how to play.

45:13 Yeah. Um, so Ramona, it gets to Ramona and she gets like a facelift in a box thing, which by the way, if you want a facelift in a box box, GO TO LELACKLACK.COM AND GET ONE. It'll keep you young forever. So she gets one of those and she's like, "Oh, [gasps] it's an anti-aging fusion. You know what? This reminds me, I have an anti-aging serum and so I'm testing other products. So it's really good that I get this so I could test it against my own product which is coming out soon." America. Yeah. And uh and then Lanne gets something. She's like, "What is this?" Like, "Oh, it's some sort of like beauty cleaning something." She's like, "I got cleaner." Me? What? What am I?

45:53 Some sort of loser who just has to sit at home and clean. Well, let me tell you something. There's I know a lady who once stayed at home and cleaned while everyone went out went out and have a good time. And her name was Cinderella. Would you believe it, girls? I'm Cinder [ __ ]

46:08 And then uh boom, boys. Bibbidity bobby boom boys again. Bibity bobby boom. My pumpkin's here. Bye.

46:17 Did you notice that? By the way, no one stole gifts. It was like the white elephant party and no one stole a gift. I thought I thought that I thought the way white elephant works is that you open a gift and then you decide if you're going to keep it or steal someone else's. Not you make the choice before you open the gift. Right.

46:31 Yeah, they explained it right. They just didn't play it right. They just kind of get bored.

46:35 I mean, look at their murder mystery. It's like I get it. All right, let's see. Yeah, they definitely don't get games. So, um, so anyways, they all open up their gifts and everything and then all of a sudden it's like, dingdong, special delivery. And guess what? Uh, Darinda's decorator guy, the guy who like guessed did all her Christmas decorations, he comes in with a huge nutcracker that Bethany had requested from FAO Schwarz for for Brin. So like, oh my god. Everybody's like, "Oh my god." Everyone's like, "You know, so Bethany just starts screeching at this point. She's just like, "Oh my god, what's Oh my god. Oh my god. Am I the best mom in the world? Am I the best woman in the world? Like I get the best kiss. I get the best kiss. Uh it's awarf

47:19 over and over. We get it. Congratulations. You got a book big wooden man for your daughter. It's that thing's going to terrify her every night.

47:26 Yeah. She's like, "Listen, you know what I got to do? I got to say thank you to the to the gods who arranged for this to happen." I'd like to say thank you to the giant car it must have taken to get this thing over here. Thank you, Carr.

47:38 I got to thank uh Mr. Schwarz, Mr. Oh, I got to thank the letters F A N O for making such a great Nutcracker. Thank you.

47:44 I I got to thank Tom Hanks for repopularizing FAO Schwarz with his movie Big. I got to thank uh Hillary Swank's uh ex-husband, Chad Low, because he uh she never thanked him at the Oscars, and I want to make sure no one ever gets forgotten about when someone's thanking people. Okay.

47:57 I'd like to thank Nuts because without nuts, we wouldn't need a nutcracker. Okay.

48:01 Hey, you know what I want to do? I want to thank the Sugar Plum Fairy cuz you know what? There a lot of fairies out there, but sugar plum fairy like no one really what what is that? What your sugar? What your plum? Your sugar like what is that? I don't know what you are, but I thank you.

48:12 I'd like to thank gun bands and gun restrictions because you can no longer use guns to shoot open your nuts. So, thank you.

48:18 You know what I want to thank? I want to thank I I want to thank those old men who who who keep it going. You know what? Cuz this this Nutcracker, look at him. He's got to be like 75, you know, but he's he's still working. He's working hard.

48:27 Thank you. So, Dinda's like, well, you know, I'm not one to look for a lot of thank yous or recognitions, but Maybe just a little bit. Maybe just missing my lane.

48:38 I mean, Bethany did say she turned to Dinda's, you know, you saved Christmas. You saved Christmas. You saved Christmas. Which is sort of like saying thank you. I mean, I feel like it was the sentiment of thank you, but she definitely but she did not say thank or she didn't say I feel like it was fine. I feel like she said thank you. Like what what are these people? Like I mean, yeah, I think that maybe maybe it would have been nicer if she said, "Oh my god, everyone, I was looking for this nutcracker." And I said, "Can you find it?" And Direinda actually did it. Dinda found it. But instead, she's just like, "You save Christmas. Oh my god. Oh my god. Am I not the best mom? Am I not the best?"

49:10 I think it goes Yeah, I think it I always get the best kiss. I always think I think it goes above just not saying thank you into like screaming, I did it.

49:19 Yeah, that was where it was a problem cuz it's it looked like she was taking credit or you know, I just you I'm the best. I'm the best. She could have been a little more thankful to Dinda, that's for sure. And then she takes a photo of his nutcracker and Carol's like, "Look at her taking a selfie with a nutcracker."

49:35 Oh, the irony of not saying thank you properly after she screamed a dancer for not saying thank you properly to Sonia. [gasps]

49:44 Well, looks like looks like Bethany really won this one. She's a real winner as opposed to me. I guess I'm just a loser. And then what did Ramona say? She's like something about like, well, thank you for your gift because I'm going to keep your gift.

49:58 She goes, so Ramona gives her gift to Lan cuz Ramona obviously does not like her gift. She's like, whoa, since you got some household cleaner, you just got some Windex that's in a nice bow and I feel bad for you, Lann. And I'm going to give you my gift because since I'm doing my own anti-aging line, I don't really need this. I can give this to you instead. And that's when Beth's like, "Oh, okay." So she got to give herself an infomercial. That's what's going on. Like she like she can't just like say thank you. Okay. She can't be great.

50:24 She's got to give herself her own infomercial. Anyway, let me sit down in my skinny gold chair. Okay.

50:28 Yeah. And Dren's like, she just mentioned an infomercial. You know, why why can't she just support the facelift in a video? We support skinny people. And then Ramona goes Ramona had like so many little gems this episode where she just was making these like proclamations. She goes, "Friends, support friends. Even if you're not my friend, just say, "Hey, good going girl. I'm proud of you. Big ups. You're such a good friend. Friends and friends forever. That's what friends are for. Keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep trying.

51:02 [clears throat] Man's like, "What are you trying to rap now?" All right, you can do count us and friends. [gasps] The rap MC from the DCC. It's Ramona singing. Keep trying. I don't even remember the lyrics of that song. Keep smiling. Keep being friends. That's what friends are for. For being friends for sure. Dion Warick is a singer in good times and bad times. I am I guess just a loser I guess according to Bethany.

51:31 The rest of the world is [ __ ] Oh is French. So then um Tinsley and Lou start talking about they're all leaving. So Carol and Direinda and who else is leaving? Carol Dinda like a few of them leave. Well, well, they haven't left yet because basically they're sitting around and it's like, "Oh, so what's the plans for the holidays?" And L's like, "Well,

51:55 let me go to Palm Beach. Uh, cuz my brother's in Jupiter, I guess you could say, um, going out of this world. Would you like to swing on a star?" Anyone guess where that star is swinging me? I'm flying into West Palm Beach, Tinsley, just so you know, instead of just Palm Beach.

52:12 And Sony goes, "Is isn't Tom going to be there?" Yeah, she's like, "Well, I don't know. How would I know? Why do you ask?" And she's like, "I thought you were avoiding Tom Lan."

52:21 And by the way, Trixie Monle again with there because when Lann goes, I'm going I'm going to Palm Beach. There was this ominous baseline where bass is like boom boom boom. Because you know ominous on real like on any other show ominous is like bum. But on this show it's like boom boom boom. Instead of bum bum bum, it's like bum bum.

52:39 It's like bow bow. So yeah. Yeah. So, Sonia's like, "Isn't Tom Isn't Tom going to be down there? Wow, she's really going back to the scene of the crime." I was like, "In more ways than one."

52:50 And Bethany is saying, "Um, oh yeah, you moved on so great, girlfriend. Like, you've done so good. I'm so proud of you how you've been moving on with that marathon and everything." Like, look at you marathon moving on, huh? You're moving on like a marathon man. Okay. It's great. Uh, you know, and I heard he has that busted up girlfriend now. You know, I mean, that's what Carol told me. Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't know that? Oh, I'm so sorry. What a dick. What a dick. What a dick.

53:09 Oh, yeah. Because it was a dick I am. It was Carol who left. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, but anyway, so so Bethany is like, "Yeah, and he has some bust up girlfriend." You knew that, right? You didn't know that. Like, I don't want to talk about it. I mean, why would I talk about I'm just some some low rent loser, I guess, who doesn't left behind, doesn't have a new boyfriend.

53:26 But did you like how Bethany did the exact same thing she just got mad at Carol for? It's like, "Oh, whoops. Just uh mentioned that Carol's the one who told me she was a busted up low down dirty piece of crap." Sorry, sorry, sorry. So, Lean's like, "Well, Tom should be under a rock. He knows all the girls know him. I mean, like, really, dude? Lo,

53:46 dick. Dick. So, now we go on to Lann's blood drive, which is Oh, wait. There's one quick thing. There's one quick thing. So, uh, Lann's like, "Well, I'm not upset at all. I'm leaving." And then Carol's like, "Me, too." And Derinda. So, they leave. And then Beth's like, "Guys, Carol, Carol, right? She seems sad. What's wrong with Carol?" I think it's cuz of Adam. I was like, "Oh my god, how out of touch are you?

54:09 She seems distant. I just can't get it. Like she seemed like she was at it, too, which is weird cuz she doesn't even like when we do it, too.

54:14 Yeah. It's almost like like it's almost like she's like fighting with someone who's like really close with her. She seems like really sad about it. It's probably about Adam. But actually, I mean, I don't There probably is something true about that, too. I mean, you know, car this Carol and Adam situation has sort of fallen apart and Carol probably does feel lonely, but it is weird. But but Bethany, it's like she's also fighting with you, which is probably why she left early. That's probably why she left.

54:36 She's being distant. Yeah, she's being distant, you dope. And Ramona's like, I think cuz we went out the night before. We went to the Birkers. Me and Carol just alone. Like we went out like that was really fun with me and Carol. And then we went to the Birkers and you know that was you know she sat for the Bergkshire still. I don't know if you remembered but Oh yeah. Yeah. Dinda in her face. Was it Da in her face? No. You know things from the Birkers. Remember in the Birkers? Yeah. H I don't know. Was it the dead guy? The guy who died.

55:05 You know the Berser thing where you did something to her ber? I don't know. It's out. It's out.

55:10 I'm just imagining Lannne just like opens the door again. I mean Bethany, she's mad at you. It's like really dude dick. Door closes again.

55:20 It just opens up. I'm going to kill you all. All right. I'm really leaving now. I'm really leaving.

55:25 That's the way a loser leaves the party. And typical Ramona. Well, there's no champagne, so I guess this is good. Like it's right there. There's some champagne right there, Ramona. Oh, okay. I'll stay. Where should I sit?

55:38 Yeah, let's toast. I don't know why I didn't write down any notes about that scene. That was like a significant moment. I think I was too engrossed. I was caught up. I was looking for my own champagne. I'm like, do I get to toast, too?

55:48 Okay. Because how can you write notes when we're doing something important for the Red Cross?

55:53 Yeah. So, now we go over to Lann's blood drive with the Red Cross. And um the irony of irony as you already predicted is that Lann was rejected from blood giving as were all of them because they weren't they went to Mexico in the past year and I probably like a Zika situation right so they weren't allowed to give blood so she has a blood drive and no one's allowed to give blood but uh

56:12 and she goes I was turned away I mean I felt like such a loser I love that it's just a running theme in this episode like what a loser Lannne may or may not be.

56:20 She has embraced she has embraced her role. I felt like so bad. I mean, what a loser.

56:29 Like a dick. So, um, so they're there. Oh, what's the matter? We told you it's because of Mexico. No, it's what's the matter coming towards us like a bull.

56:37 Yeah, cuz here comes what's the matter. Um, and she's like, hi, it's Megan from Bethy's office. And like, how are you? You are young. You are lower than me in life. Uh, you have a lower station in life. So, therefore, I'll be formal with you. And go, how are you?

56:52 How are you? Yes, I will take sparkling water. Thank you. And it says, and Megan's official title, Bethy's brand manager. As she's sitting here doing yet another errand for Bethany, great brand managing, you know.

57:04 So, she's like, uh, will you do me a favor? Will you tell somebody I told Bethany, Bethany, you look amazing.

57:10 All right. Now, give me an intro to this Red Cross [ __ ] cuz I got Bethany stuff to do. So, she's like, "Hey, Red Cross [ __ ] Uh, Bethany can't be here to give blood and who would take it anyway. So, here's $1,000 in cash cards, and we'd really appreciate it if you distributed that directly to those affected.

57:26 Excuse you. That is not how the Red Cross works, madame. Yeah. And also like way to like I mean, the woman from the Red Cross was very appreciative. Like, that is so wonderful of her, but you know, inside she was like, "What the [ __ ] am I supposed to do these cash cards, you know?"

57:41 Yeah. Thank god it's so close to Christmas, honey. That was so heartfelt. I will be shopping with these. So, um, Carol shows up and she's like, "I can't donate my blood because I'm under the weight limit." I'm like, "Well, a that was like a little bit of a backdoor brag, but also, uh, you were in Mexico, so

57:59 I brought cookies." And Sony goes, "Oh, really, Carol? Well, tell us, Carol, how are you? How are you Carol?

58:08 Are you sad?" Cuz Bethany was saying, "You're sad. Are you sad?" She just gets right to it. Oh, you poor thing. Let me stroke. Oh, your hair is falling out cuz you're so under the weight limit for blot. Are you sad about that, too? Oh, did you not have a good time?

58:22 I'm sad. I guess I'm sad, but I'm not like boo sad, but I guess I am if everyone's saying it. And she goes, well, they said, Adam, that you're sad and that you're also sad in general and that your cookies are sad. I mean, they haven't said that yet, but they will. So, like, why wait for another episode? And just remember, denial ain't just a river that I have a yacht going down. Okay. I had sex with a h a hedge fund guy on that yacht years ago. So if you need to glue it back together a little bit, call Leo. He's great.

58:48 I love the Nile. He's a great psychiatrist. Thank um so yeah, Sonia is [ __ ] with her now. These ladies do not waste any time.

58:59 Oh, sorry. Oh, no. Go ahead. Well, I was going to say that Lann also is stirring the pot cuz she goes up to Darinda's like, "So, what happened? What What is this whole nutcracker situation? like why didn't Bethany thank you? And Dinda's like girl's like Dind Dinda's the one who got the nutcracker. SHE GOES, "OH, I had no idea. I mean, you didn't say anything about it." So, [gasps] naturally, I gave props to that young man, that young hot Santa man, young gift that you brought for me. I'm like, "Well, who did you why would Darinda's assistant be bringing it, people? Come on."

59:32 Yeah. Exactly. So now Ramona is talking to Carol about the stuff that Bethany said about about Carol being sad and Carol, you know, Carol's like, "Well, I think it's pretty obvious that Beth is really talking about herself. She's talking about herself. I think she has a hard time painting and maintaining friendships." Painting. Did I say I write down painting? Have a time m whatever. She has a basically Carol says that Bethany has a hard time creating and maintaining friendships, which is true, too. And that's what we've always said. Bethy's biggest problem is she cannot be in a friendship.

1:00:07 Yeah. And car Dinda's like, "I was disappointed. I achieved something. I achieved something Bethany couldn't." Do you know how hard that is to achieve something that you couldn't? I mean, it would have been nice to get a shout out is all I'm saying.

1:00:20 That's all right, Ryan. I just wanted to call up Z 100 and be like, "This is a shout out to Dinda for getting a nutcracker, and now I'd like to request a song by Zed." Just put a [ __ ] Darrento wig on that nutcracker and let's all be done with it. So ridiculous.

1:00:33 The way her hair is going, it's not that far from it. I'm telling you, Luke, get that hair in shape. All right. So, Carol, um, you know, Carol actually has a good point, too, which is like, well, basically, if Bethany was so concerned that I was sad, it would have meant a lot more if she pulled me aside and was like, "How are you doing?" You know, although now I'm going to contradict myself. You know, sometimes you like if you're in a social situation, you see that someone looks sad after the fact, you go, you know, I think that person looks sad. And then you maybe reach out to them. But like I don't know. I don't think that what I don't think that what Bethany said is the worst thing in the world.

1:01:04 No, I think Carol, come on, Carol. You were being distant. She you left and she was basically like, "Why is Carol being distant? I mean, why is this like then don't be distant then?" I mean, come on. Like you can't say, "Oh, I forgive." And then she's like, "Well, I don't forgive yet." It's like, "Oh, gez." So now we skip over. Yeah,

1:01:21 I was going to say her revenge is to now wind up Ramona about Beth. Is that what you were going to say?

1:01:26 Yeah. She's like, "So Ramona, what did Bethany say about me?" She goes, "Well, she said Carol is lonely and so sad without Adam being lonely. She's so lonely. She looks lonely. She smells lonely. Lonely. Lonely. Facial. Lonely. Face lift in a box. Lonely. That's what you look like. Lonely." Her mother just kept saying lonely. lonely teardrops. Okay. So, Carol So, Carol's now

1:01:54 and you mentioned skin care and she said in she said you were trying to do an infomercial. That must not have made you feel great. And like guys, where else are you allowed to speak to people like that the way she talks to us? Where else? Why are we letting someone talk like that to us? We don't talk like that. Get that goddamn blood tracking thing away from me. Ramona realizes that she suddenly has a horse in this whole race and she goes, "Yeah, it was hurtful. It was hurtful." I'm like, "Okay, Ramona suddenly the delicate flower, you know, who can't take like a simple joke about the infomercial." Yeah, hypocritical for sure, but like it wasn't really that hurtful. So then Ramona goes,

1:02:33 Bethany claims to be a big supporter of women, but doesn't support start at home with other women. She's not supporting any of us. Okay, let's face it. She doesn't support anyone. Reminds me this one time when I was a little girl and I was having dinner and I was like, "Could you please pass the bread?" And Jelian Parson Smith said, "No, no more bread for you. You're a fat little girl." And I said, "Wo, but doesn't support start at home?" And she said, "No, support starts with your bra." Okay. And to this day, I've never had bread. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know bread rolls.

1:03:04 So, we leave these crazies and then we go, "Oh." Oh, no. So now Sonia and Ramona are walking around together just defending everybody giving blood

1:03:14 basically. Yeah. They're just like walking. These people are like feeling woozy. They're about to pass out and like and meanwhile Ramona and Sonia are walking around being like, "Let's go check our iron levels. You know, if you have too much iron, you get constipated." Well, you know what? I actually would like to be constipated a little bit. Oh, really? Well, you know, I just I want my poops to be a little firmer. I want them to have I want them to be more al dente. You know, not that I eat them, but I just want them to have a good firm tactile feel about them. A little too loose. Ah, that means you don't have any iron. I have no iron. I need more iron.

1:03:42 Okay. Right now, I have duck poops. So, I have duck poops. And then the they just pass this lady who's like horrified by the whole thing.

1:03:50 Could you imagine if they could give blood? Could you imagine having like Darren's blood coursing through your body? That's a really really intense feeling. Or like Lanne

1:03:58 suddenly just start stabbing yourself like what is happening to me? I just lit my face on fire. So now a small but like epic iconic scene. I think this scene will go down with like the Brooklyn Bridge scene because we suddenly see Ramona walking her dog on on the sidewalks of New York and she's walking around and the phone rings and it's Bethany and Bethany calls up and she's she's un she's like she's upset. She's she's agitated and she starts we can tell she's like winding up to go in on Ramona and she's like you know what I don't have many girlfriends and the few girlfriends that I have and and then uh Ramona's basically like she basically starts talking point what's your point Bethany what's your point like she's already starting to get mad cuz she can tell that she's about to get yelled at

1:04:46 so Beth's like you didn't even let me get to my point you didn't even let me let me get to my point I'm going to tell you my point if you'll just let me get there like can we get this down to a seven or like a two or like a zero. A zero would be great. Bethany really has to work on that. It is really irritating that like she she does get hung up on these like you're not let me talk. She did that with Ramona back in the Birkers last year too when they were starting to have their talk and she's like so um so basically Bethany says you know Sonia told me that you guys were all talking about me at the Red Cross event you know and so then she says so I do have good friends and Carol's actually one of them and I feel like through this group you have your different moments with each person and like you've definitely done like emotional damage and Mo's like you know what you sound very negative and I'm in

1:05:24 a great place okay and Bethy's like well you know what you enjoy you enjoy you're you're enjoying my argument with Carol that's what you like you like it a lot and I don't enjoy any arguments. What are you talking about? I hate arguments. The Whenever you see me smiling when you guys are arguing, that's because I'm thinking about a happier time when you guys weren't arguing. I'm not enjoying myself at all. I'm actually the saddest when I'm smiling during your arguments. Okay.

1:05:47 Meanwhile, the dog is standing just in the street. Ramona is standing in the street just like completely not paying attention. And you know, I cannot believe that this dog did not get just completely splatted all over the street cuz it's just standing in the street. Like, who does that? It's like, you know what? I don't even care about your relationship with Carol. Okay? Like, what are you calling me about this? Like, why are you blaming me? I don't even care. Okay? I don't even care. You know what I care about? My dog making a little pee pee. Okay? That's all I care about. Make a little peepee. Like, how many times do I have to tell just make a little peep and

1:06:20 poops? You pray out the week. Like, what is wrong with you? You pray out the week. I'm like, oh yeah, you're so [ __ ] weak, Bethany. And also having these moments with everybody. And also f you for having me take Ramona's side that I don't know this has ever happened. This was so this is this was an unhinged moment from Bethany and I have to say I think Ramona read Bethany what to what do you say to [ __ ] to hell to wherever she just like she just took her down and it was like whoa because Beth's like you know what you say you support women and goes no actually you don't support women I'm very very upset and hurt that you had the audacity at your lunch I came out and I said I was making a skincare line and you said oh wow that's an infomercial And when you left and right bring up every left and right, you bring up every product that you do. And you don't support other women. You don't acknowledge anybody for

1:07:11 anything they ever do. And as soon as Carol left the party, you talked about it behind her back. So how do you have the audacity to talk to me like you're talking to her? How do you didn't How about you didn't even give Dinda credit for the getting the nutcracker. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know how upset you got Dinda for not acknowledging she got you that nutcracker for your daughter? Okay. I'm sorry. Your problem is with yourself. Don't perform me.

1:07:34 Yeah, you put everybody down to make yourself look good. Okay. And I'm not having any part of that. So, I'm hanging UP NOW. BYE.

1:07:41 THIS clicks up. Meanwhile, she's like dragging a dead dog and doesn't even notice.

1:07:45 You don't support other women whose dogs just died during this phone call. Okay. It was such an amazing monologue. It was like it was

1:07:53 the Ramona monologues. Okay. Everyone just we'll gather just famous actresses to gather around and read Ramona monologues. I uh I'd love Ramona's uh decision just her her her casual feminism what it convenient feminism for when it works to take down this idea you don't support other women I mean I

1:08:14 you don't support women okay you neither that's what it should be called # you neither Bethany

1:08:20 you neither I mean it's true it's true I don't think Bethany is great with supporting other women but I love that suddenly Ramona cares about that like out of nowhere Ramona cares about is supporting other women

1:08:30 well now They've all decided that that's their thing. So, we saw at the Red Cross thing, Winter Wind is like, "Why would we let anybody talk to us like everybody has decided now they're going to go after Bethany for not supporting women? That's like their uniting cause now for the rest of the season." Which, you know, all this is going to do is get everybody back on Bethy's side. So, you guys go for it because look, I was I've been anti and then pro every other week I change sides. But, I know that this is going to put me on Bethy's side cuz now you guys are just ganging up on Bethany.

1:08:57 It's like they are. They really are. they it is now turning against Bethany. But Bethany did herself no favors in the scene because she really was like she needed to take a seat when she's coming at Ramona about like you know you're you're enjoying other people's arguments. You know she was I was like Ramona really wasn't part of this and she wasn't really stirring the [ __ ] between them. Um but I have to say it was all worth it. I mean to to get these lines I mean listen to this line. How about you didn't give Darinda credit for getting the nutcracker? I mean what sort of line is that? Like can you believe these things are coming out of her mouth? You know, do you know how upset you got Dinda for not acknowledging she got you that nutcracker for your daughter? Do you know?

1:09:31 And the rest of the season is completely set up. So then we go over to Lanne where her real her realtor Ann is there

1:09:38 and she's found to a perfect rental. Oh, isn't it perfect? I mean, look at this. There's a door to the outside. The dog just goes out there way doors work.

1:09:49 And Ann's like, "Oh, it's a new chapter. It's the perfect place for your new chapter." For example, you go outside and then you just, you know, you're facing a wall. So, I mean, just put your hands up against the wall and just breathe deep because that's your new chapter now. Like, oh, well, it's been done. I love this bad boy. Bad boy. What you going to do? What you going to do when Anne finds a penthouse for you? Oh, yes. I I feel like I have a clean slate. I mean, everything's going to be uphill from Well, I mean, like, everything's We're no place to go but up from here. Except you can't go that far up cuz I do have the penthouse. Ha.

1:10:25 Well, I won't be here much anyway because I'll be going to Palm Beach regular Tinsley. Then I'll be going to Chile, then I'll be going to Argentina, and then it goes 48 hours later.

1:10:35 It'll be such a great trip. I'll be totally unshackled. Don't try and tie me down.

1:10:42 I can't wait to try each and every cocktail in all these countries, cuz surely that's what I'll be doing. drinking cocktail after cocktail. I will continue to be drinking cocktails and walking around like a free lady from country to country all through South America. Nothing's going to stop me. Not nothing in the entire world.

1:10:57 48 hours later seats in the back of that uh cop car in in Palm Beach. No, don't touch me. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you all with my singing.

1:11:12 Killing you all softly with my songs. And so she's like, "Why are these things on me? Can I just get out of them?" And he's like, "I'm going to hog tie you if you don't stop." Oh, I love procido. Oink oink.

1:11:24 But it sounds delicious. Tie me up, officer. I don't mind. Hog hog tie me up. I just love how me. I'll send you I'll send you a thank you note after. Hog tie me up.

1:11:38 Hog tie, baby. Hog tie. Send me your love, baby. Baby, your love. Hog tie. Yeah. So, she's just wasted. She slips out of her ties, her handcuffs. She slipped out of I've never seen someone do that. She Houdini that she got out of her handcuffs and she Why? Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why?

1:11:58 I'm going to kill you all. What did I do wrong? What did I do? What did I What did I do to deserve this?

1:12:03 I cannot believe they use that footage. Shady shady shady. And they show her in jail on the and the judge is like, "Now, I don't know if you have a drinking problem or not, but you should probably stop drinking." And it's like bum bum bum to be continued. Wow. Wow. That was amazing and so hilarious that they just she's they show her literally talking about going to Chile and Chile and Argentina and you know excited about her new chapter and all the fun things she'll be doing and it's like 48 hours later she's they show security footage. I mean so shady.

1:12:38 Way to take the piss out of her out of amazing people. Love it. So good. And that brings us to the end.

1:12:48 Yeah. What a just an amazing amazing episode. Um if Lann's a loser, then we are all winners. That's what I say.

1:12:55 I loved this episode. Thank you Real Housewives of New York for everything you give us. And everybody, thank you so much for being here. All right. Bye everyone.

1:13:04 Bye. Watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

1:13:22 Get on the right foot with Chrissy Off. We never miss her Call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay. It's Emily Goautier.

1:13:31 Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickus. Hava Ngila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

1:13:43 She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tr. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

1:13:51 Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacy B. K. Sra. Sarra. Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay B. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy is Maisy Mckenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg. This is living with Michelle Vivian.

1:14:13 I love a ya Olivia Williamson. She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can. It's Savannah.

1:14:20 Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy. It's Tippy.

1:14:26 And our super premium sponsors. Make way for AJ Lopez. She's VIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

1:14:36 Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlyn O'Neal.

1:14:44 Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

1:14:52 Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubs. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the Corkmaster. The master of the cork, Jennifer Corkerin. We got our wish, it's Jen Plush. My favorite murdo. Karen McMmero.

1:15:07 She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manok. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. Gee, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Lola Alani.

1:15:22 The incredible edible Matthew sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemi.

1:15:35 We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah. Tell of sun. Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony,

1:15:41 please don't stop at Soie and pop. Let's take off with Tama plane. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

1:15:48 She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "#3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas"?

In order: 0:00 Bethany, Real Housewives of New York, Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City; 10:00 Bethany, Ramona; 20:00 Bethany, Ramona; 30:00 Bethany, Mark Tinsley, Ramona, Sonia Morgan; 40:00 Bethany, Ramona, FAO Schwarz, Mark Tinsley; 50:00 Bethany, Ramona, Red Cross, Mark Tinsley; 1:00:00 Bethany, Ramona, Red Cross; 1:10:00 Argentina, Palm Beach, Mark Tinsley, Real Housewives of New York.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

22 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Bethany, Ramona, Mark Tinsley, Red Cross, Real Housewives of New York, Palm Beach. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "#3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas"?

The episode runs 1 h 16 min; the transcript is about 16,543 words in 275 timestamped sections.

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