Married To Medicine S12E04: Toya Story

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Julia Simone, Brandy, Contessa, Heavenly
2. 10:00 – 20:00: LOL dolls, Contessa, Julia Simone
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Heavenly, Contessa, Julia Simone
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Heavenly, Contessa, Julia Simone
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Heavenly
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Heavenly, Contessa, Brandy, Julia Simone
7. 1:00:00 – 1:00:53: Heavenly

Notable quotes from "Married To Medicine S12E04: Toya Story"

• I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello Ben.

  about Ronnie · at 0:03

• Birthday as opposed to Contessa's man, Scott, who did nothing. So, we're we're in the wake of that and Simone has just been making comments about sort of like wanting to get…

  about Julia Simone · at 2:21

• Heavenly next to him. So Simone's I have been so frustrated with my family and the way that Cecil has not had my back. This is a clear indication that my marriage is not in the right.

  about Heavenly · at 3:11

• A monster truck. And Savannah, the little girl, is I think I just want like 60 LOL dolls so I can have them. Maybe that's my surprise.

  about LOL dolls · at 18:41

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Heavenly — Person · 24 mentions · first at 3:11
• Julia Simone — Person · 12 mentions · first at 2:26
• Contessa — Person · 10 mentions · first at 2:04
  Start off we're actually still at that hookup party for Brandy. is her birthday dinner where Contessa just had a fullon, I want it's not a meltdown, but she definitely had a…
• Brandy — Person · 6 mentions · first at 2:02
  Vintage Toya this episode. So we start off we're actually still at that hookup party for Brandy. is her birthday dinner where Contessa just had a fullon, I want it's not a…
• Chelsea Toya — Person · 5 mentions
• Quad — Person · 3 mentions
• Mark & Mini Cecil — Person · 2 mentions
• Mimi — Person · 2 mentions
• Ronnie — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:03

Products & tech

• LOL dolls — Product · 2 mentions · first at 18:46
• Tesla — Product · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello Ben. Hi Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Welcome to Married to Medicine Day everybody. Today is also our final Amazon Live of the Year. It'll be at 400 PM Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can find that by um looking at our link in bio on Instagram. That's the easiest way.

0:23 And today we're going to do a little married medicine and then below deck tomorrow and then we're out of here for Christmas. exciting.

0:34 It's so exciting. So exciting. This episode of Merit Medicine. Wow. What a doozy. What a doozy. I was I mean, Toya is going to Toya. That's what I got to say. All these years in, Toya is still gonna Toya. It is. I was cracking up. I was cracking up and I was also like Toya.

0:52 Toriia. Shameful. Embarrassing and shameful. Toriia. But, you know, it was kind of also refreshing because a lot of times on these shows, I mean, this show is in its 12th year people, okay, 12th.

1:06 And a lot of times on these shows, you watch them for so many years and people really get watered down. They listen to what the audience is saying and they take that and they try and change for the audience. And I mean, look at Kyle Richards. Carl Richards actually used to be fun and somewhat honest and now she's just like I can't talk about it and it's so and it just gets so annoying and watered down basically to watch these people after a decade sometimes not Toya not any of this cast I have to say really not any of them they're like you know what I'll be worse than ever

1:40 it's season 12 and I'm going to be the worst version of myself that you've ever seen so sit tight it's like Yes. Yeah. Truly. Um Toya is a force unto herself and sometimes you just forget that and it was great to see Toya being vintage Toya this episode. So um we start off we're actually still at that hookup party uh for Brandy. is her birthday dinner where Contessa just had a fullon, you know, I want it's not a meltdown, but she definitely had a moment where she was feeling obviously very jealous about the fact that Bry's man did something to contribute to the birthday as opposed to Contessa's man, Scott, who did nothing. So, we're we're in the in the wake of that and Simone has just been making comments about sort of like wanting to get divorced from Cecil again and everyone is is alarmed especially including Quad who you know Quad and Simone have been on you know shaky ground for a while but Quad puts

2:42 that to the side to express a certain amount of uh concern. Yeah. She's like, "Who here, who here has not thought of ending their marriage?" And Qu's like, "Don't say it. Don't say it, Simone. Don't do it." And uh Simone's like, "Girl, you have no idea. Do I look happy? Do I look happy? You don't sound happy. You don't sound like a happy person."

3:11 Heavenly next to him. So Simone's like, "I have been so frustrated with my family and the way that Cecil has not had my back. This is a clear indication that my marriage is not in the right place." And so Jackie is like, "Oh, this is back down memory lane for Simone and Cecil, and it's disturbing. We often joke about our husbands, but something's not right." The dword, divorce. Yes, we know. We know the dword. Thank you, Jackie. Um, uh, for those who didn't listen to Real Housewives of PTOAC recap, uh, it turns out that after all of this, after all Simone's heming and hawing and standing up for herself, and I'm not taking this [ __ ] anymore, she ended up buying that little brat a Tesla and then took him and his brother and their girlfriends to Jamaica. So, yeah,

4:02 I don't know what happened between this scene and that, but damn, cuz she's fit to be tied right here, you know? So, um, Simone's like, "Well, I just want to live in a highrise downtown." And Jackie is like, "Say it again, and I'm going to pop you on your lips. I'm going to I'm going to pop you on your L word." That's lips. Uh, and she's Simone's like, "I'm in my zen." So, Bry's like, "Okay, uh, everyone, this is supposed to be a, uh, something for good spirits. We're supposed to be coming in here with good spirits, so let's change it." Yes, let's change the energy, daddy. So, Contesta's like, "Yes, let's reset. will reset. I'm like, don't act like you're the one Contessa acting like you're bringing in a new great energy. You're the one who created the negative energy at this party in the first place.

4:48 You started it, Contessa. But also, Brandy saying, "Oh, guys, we I feel like we lost the whole intention for this thing."

4:55 Have you watched this show? The intention is wallowing in bad marriages. I mean, where have you been?

5:01 There's that, too. So, uh, Contessa's basically saying that Brandy, she's like, "Bry is new to this group and we can go hard in the paint." But I don't think paying for a couple, you know, thousand dinner, like paying, you know, a couple thousand dollars for dinner is a thing to do cartwheels and back handsprings about, but for some people it is. And that's awesome. I'm like, "Yeah, it should be cuz this isn't like a milestone birthday. It's just like seems like it's just some other like an offyear birthday. So, yeah, I'm still going to support this guy doing this for Brandy. I think it's pretty cool compared to Scott.

5:33 Yeah, why not? Especially when Scott did nothing and you're trying to give him credit just for paying for it.

5:38 Yeah. Yeah. So, Heather's like, "Simone, can you get get some love? Come on, have some love. Are you doing okay?" And she's like, "I love you. It's tough." She's like, and Qua's like, "She's going to be all right." And He's like, "Well, my shit's worse than yours. Guaranteed. I fussed my boy out and he left and I don't even know where the [ __ ] he is."

5:57 You're going to find him. Okay, let's sit down cuz hey, we got these shoes. Baby, let's sit down so I can cry to you. Okay, you want to hear what happened to me? So when my son got arrested, you don't understand my heart. And then I came off all wrong obviously because when I tried to curse my opinion to my boys and you know I'm cursing their opinion out and I don't know, I just feel really bad that they didn't understand what I was trying to say when I was like get the [ __ ] out of my ass. They didn't really understand.

6:23 And someone's like that's how I do it too. She goes very loudly. She's like, "Yes, that's me." And Heavenly's like, "And you know what? He never disrespected me. He just got his [ __ ] and he left."

6:34 But here is the thing, Heavenly. We created the monster, and you can't be mad at the monster. Yes, you can. Retrain the monster. Retrain the monster. Don't just be like, "Well, that's a monster." That's what they do. They scare They scare my kid when she goes to bed at night by hiding under the bed. Put nails under the bed. Do something to get the monster out from under the bed. you.

6:58 It's in your control. Frankenstein, you literally can be mad at the monster. If you're not going to be mad at the monster, it's just a pet. Okay. Like the monster is there for you to be mad at, right?

7:08 Yeah. So then um so then they sort of like hug or whatever, but they they sort of like understand each other in that moment. So now we go back to Simone at work. It's another day and a patient's asking Simone about hot flashes and she's like, "Well, one of the things that make hot flashes worse are caffeinated beverages and alcoholic beverages." And the lady's like, "So, what about wine?" Wine is alcohol. So, then we go over to Contessa and Scott's money pit, the the new office, and um Contessa's like, "Okay, realistically, how much time do you think before we get finished?" And uh he's like, "Well, we've got 40,000 in floors and walls and ceilings to do."

7:49 Which isn't that a coincidence? That's how much her party cost. And so she's like, "Pinky promise." Which is weird, but we just had a scene last week where they told you it was two months. So I don't know why you asking Scott every day how much time you have left is going to change everything. It's still two months.

8:05 Yeah. And then we go to Brandy at work and she's just she's, you know, going to give some filler to someone. And now we have Toya and Eugene and they're walking. This was this was important

8:15 because there's a new kind of filler that's a very thin filler. So I thought that was I was like what is it? Talk about it. Please talk about it. What kind of filler is this? Is it better than big chunky like Lisa Rena filler? Like what is it? I want to know what it is. How much does it cost? Where is it on the menu? What does it do to my uterus or whatever? My urology center.

8:35 Yeah. Something we'll have to look into for 2026, I suppose. Yeah. Thank you. So now we go to Toya and Eugene. Yeah. And they're walking in the park and Toya's like, "Look at this kid play like playing, look at this kid playing player. Did you ever did you want to have another What is she What is she What is she saying here? Look at this kid playing player. Did you want to have another quick so we can walk to

9:02 I don't know. I don't know. Children, they're sleeping bed with the black the blackout shown until 3:00 in the afternoon. What's up with that you?" And he's like, "Well, that's boys. That's why they grow a lot in the summer [snorts] cuz they sleep a lot." And she's like, "What?" And he goes, "Cuz that's when your body sleeps." And she's like, "Are you good excuse for staying in bed all day?" He's like, "No, I'm serious." She's like, she's like, "Well, I don't want them sleeping the summer way either, but anyway, how many days are you off here till?" He's like, "Well, I'm off for six days." Off off from the How many days are you actually going to like off from the Recharge Wellness? She goes, "Well, I don't have anything scheduled, but I do need a break because I just worked pretty much seven days in a row." And she goes, "Well, I know you were asking me about my walkthrough at Contessa's

9:45 office." And he's like, "Yeah, well, what did you think?" And she's like, "Well, when I told her that we were looking for space, she's like, "I took the storage unit, so I just carved out a little bit more space for Eugene." And she's basically like, "Yeah, they gave us like a shitty little corner of their building that's not even done yet."

10:02 Yeah. She says the problem is they took up all the greatness in the building for herself and then she's like anything on the right with windows is mine and then here you go over here in the storage closet right outside the bathroom. So we got to smell everything going on. Nah, I'm good. I'm good.

10:18 Who would have thought? Who would have thought that this would have already started to lead to problems? I didn't think

10:23 we knew this was going to happen. We knew it was going to happen. But I'm surprised Contessa is ballsy enough to put Toya's husband right by the bathrooms in a closet. That's crazy.

10:34 Yeah, that is wild. Um, so Toya was like, I just don't feel confident with some of the things she was saying. And Eugene's like, look, I understand the goal is to work less and to be home more. And I I even like growing Recharge Wellness some because that gives me the opportunity to be home more and work less shifts, but like now I'm just like, I'm sorry that the compromise with me making more money right now is being out of town. She's like, yeah, why why do you need to work? Why do you need to work yourself until you're exhausted and drive 5 hours away to any job? Well, um, have you seen the rest of your episode, Toya?

11:04 Why does Eugene have to work so hard that he has to drive like then like he has to drive 5 hours just to make the money he can like to to support this family and then cut to her with a part like a pool party at back with Louis Vuitton towels that cost $545 each cuz yes, I looked them up.

11:22 Oh my gosh. Not to mention, why would he want to? Because you're hellish. If this episode is like anything like your normal life, he is escaping you. Do you understand? Because for a lot of this, I'm like, well, why? There's places that aren't five hours away to work. I don't understand why he would have to go do this 5 hour thing either. I didn't really get it either. But after this episode, I sure as [ __ ] do. I mean, damn. Yeah. He's like, look, I'm working less shifts that just happened to be out of town. And when I was working in town, it was the same amount of shifts, if not more. So whether I sleep in my own bed or the Holiday and Express and she's which you know she hated that he said Holiday and Express, you know, cuz [clears throat] like here they are like their Louis Vuitton blankets but he's like or or towels but he's when he's traveling he's staying at a holiday and express. No, don't tell people that's

12:08 what you say. You mean at the Ritz Carlton of rural Georgia, right? I know. But can you imagine if he tried to stay at the Ritz Carlton? She wouldn't let him. Not without her. She'd be like, "Oh no, you're going to the Holiday in Express, sir." and you're lucky that it's not the best western non-express.

12:24 So, she's like, "At the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing." And Eugene can roll his eyes and shake his head, but he has no clue what type of stress that we go through as a stay-at-home mom, single, because your husband's gone. Okay. Well, your kids are old and at school all day. And I'm not saying that that's nothing. But comparing that to this man working 10 jobs and driving all over the damn state to just try and get you Louis Vuitton towels, I'm It's enough. Tori, come on. Like, yeah, we all acknowledge that being like being a stay-at-home mom is a very rigorous and difficult job. Like, we we will never take that away. Even when even when the kids are older, it's still a lot. But like like do you understand like you guys are moving houses every single year. There's extra there's extravagance on display all the time. Like we see like the cars, we see the the the towels, etc. It's like like that doesn't

13:21 pay for itself. Like he has to go out and work these jobs. It's crazy. And she's saying, "Well, you're sleeping and you know your family's coming and going and your house is being run to perfection." And so yeah, I mean it's not any different for you, but for me it's very different. And he's like, "But I'm home." Oh, she says, "I'm home for five or six, seven days without my husband." And he's like, "Well, you can't have your cake and eat it too, Toya." And she just looks at him like, "How dare you?

13:47 What else am I supposed to do with a cake?" Yeah. He's like, "All these hospitals that I don't understand like all these hospitals I keep going to, they want me to work there full-time. There's a good there's a need for good ER doctors. There's not many." And she's like, "Yeah, but there's also a need for good black husbands at her home." And he's like, "I know, but like which is why I took this job." So they, by the way, they are in a clearly in like a death spiral right now because like she's miserable cuz you know what? Honestly, like, you know, it does suck cuz she wants she wants him to be home with her and and so she's miserable that he's not home and so she's resentful. So the time that they do have together, she's angry, which makes him want to actually leave more, which makes her more resentful.

14:29 and yada yada yada goes around in a circle and it's not good. I know that Simone and Cisa will have a whole lot to bite into when they do their own licensed couple therapy later this year therapy in the Bahamas or wherever we're going to go this year

14:43 when they do relay races. Yeah, relay races and somehow this fixes everything. The potato sack race of whose marriage is on rockier ground this season. Toya, you're gonna speak to daddy and pretend that daddy is Eugene. Now tell Daddy how you feel about Eugene. That's what it's going to be. And say it on my lap, Cecil. Uh so then we go to Dr. Jackie's office and Quad's there. And uh Quad is there with King. And uh Jackie is like, "Oh, King came. He's going to get an exam, too." And she's like, "Well, what are we checking on King JJ?

15:22 What are we gonna check out on King Jackie? Yeah. And she said, "We'll check out his prostrate." And he's like, "Oh, that's exit only. Sorry."

15:32 All right. Well, Tam, you know Quad. So, she introduces Quad to like the the tech and everything.

15:37 I love that he's acting like it's a gay thing. He's like, "Exit only." Okay. So, you're never going to get a prostrate exam. Really, sir?

15:44 It is. It is also kind of funny to think like she's like, "Well, what are we checking on King?" I'm going to stick my finger up his [ __ ] The OBGYn. Well, yeah. I've got bad news for you, King. That day is going to come, whether you like it or not. Someday a doctor's going to stick their finger up your butt. And uh it's going to happen a lot sooner than you expect. Um so Jackie is like, uh so they're settling in everything and um they're saying hi, etc. And then King's saying he's from or asking about this this tech from Jamaica, whatever. and that they get in and Jackie is saying how like you know she's working with the doctor in Ghana for this fertility journey and she's be supportive and they're going to go look they start looking for cysts and everything and what was so funny is that like King did like a lot of research ahead of this appointment so he knows like all this information and he's like

16:39 he's like very happy that he's like he knows stuff he's like sort of suppressing his smile because

16:46 because basically Quad is looking at the cervix Actually, it's like more initiative than we've seen any husband on any show on Broadway ever. I know to be honest.

16:54 Seriously, like I was actually impressed. I was like, "Oh, his wife has a medical issue." And he's actually sat down on the internet and did like the research. So, uh, Dr. Jackie is like, "So, from the end of the uterus to the cervix?" What? Uh, this is the cervix. And Qua's like, "What does the cervix do for the people? Let everyone know." And King goes, King is like, "It holds the baby." Jackie is like, "Wow." He looked at what the cervix does. Look at that doctor. Look at him. He's so smart, Jackie. He's so smart. [gasps] My

17:27 So, since you have a long cervix, we won't need to suture anything up because we and we'll be good. Wow, look at that. He's like, I studied. He's so happy.

17:37 He's like, "And then we're going to measure the thickness of the walls and make sure they're not worn out." And like, my walls are not worn out. Now, watch your ass. How dare you? How dare I talk about my walls?

17:52 No, my walls are stronger. The one who's got weak walls is Jill the daffodil has it baby. Jill the daffodil has it, baby.

18:03 So, um, so anyway, they're looking there's they see a little cyst and Jack is explaining it and, um, you know, that it's like it's part of what happens, etc. And basically it's just a medical scene. And it's just only funny because King actually keeps on interjecting, but he's like, "One thing about ovaries is that they tend to grow at a rate of 3 millimeters per year." He just has all these little facts. He's like so happy. [clears throat] Okay, so now we go over to Mimi and her husband and they're driving and they're like, "We have a surprise for you kids.

18:39 What do you think it is?" And the boy is like, "A monster truck." And Savannah, the little girl, is like, "Um, I think I just want like 60 LOL dolls so I can have them. Maybe that's my surprise." LOL dolls.

18:51 Oh god, kids love those. What are they? What's an LOL doll? I have to look it up.

18:56 Um, you know, our friend Michelle, she has two two daughters and when they were a little bit younger, they were always asking for these LOL dolls. Um, they're like I think they come in like a little box or a ball or something.

19:09 A ball. They come in like a little lunchbox ball. Yeah. It's like a p It's like a It's like a capsule. It's like a Tylenol cap. It's just like big eyed like a big eyed doll. Big eyed little doll. Sort of like a Bratz. It's like the It's like the It I feel like it owes a lot to the Bratz community. By Bratz, I mean the toy. Nothing else. Um so, uh yeah, they want this this girl wants a lot of LOL dolls. And so Steve's like, "Are you excited for like excited for summer?" They're just making small talk with the kids and everything. And they're telling us that the kids are 18 months apart and Stevie was diagnosed with autism. Um he has certain peculiar behaviors. Um and and like that diagnosis was hard for them. And so they need to like they're going to find like a special needs camp for Stevie.

20:02 Yeah. So they're talking about that and then um Stevie gets mad at his sister and hits her and so she starts crying and they're like, "Oh god." So they pull over and then they just basically talk about how hard it, you know, how hard it is to learn how to deal, you know, and be good parents to their kid and all that. So it's nice. It's a nice

20:23 I found myself like out of nowhere like just I got I started to get choked up because they're both crying in their interview. like they're both sitting there crying and actually really see these are two parents are really trying to work with this. It's a difficult situation and they basically like Mimi goes in the back seat to sit with the son, the daughter goes in the front seat. Although it was funny. I thought like when the kid like punches sister and she's like she starts to cry and then they're like can you guys h like Stevie like they they reprimand the son and then Steve Sanders is like I think it was Steve was like okay you guys have to hug and I just thought it was funny cuz like they hug but they're still mad at each other but it's like what kids like you know when kids have to do things you know and they're like she's still angry and she's like let him go

21:11 but like Um, but it was actually like a very beautiful scene and I was definitely I was like I was like they're such good parents. They're working so hard.

21:22 I'm imagining you sitting at home crying on your couch on this scene. It's so funny cuz you know I can't stand kids and yet like like weirdly like I'll get like choked up about this stuff. Maybe I can't stand them because I secretly want them. No, that's a lie. I definitely do not want kids.

21:35 Do it. Oh my god. Do it. I would love that if you guys had kids. Man, I need a kid. I need a new baby. I got I got a new baby here in Texas. My cousin had a baby and she's so cute. Little

21:46 Isa, but I don't have a new baby in Well, actually, that's not true. My friend Rebecca just had a baby. Never mind. You're off the hook. You've got like five years till I need a new baby.

21:55 Oh, she had her baby. Yeah, it's cute. She's so cute. Yeah. You know what I Oh, you know what I had last night?

22:01 I need a baby in my life. H I did not have a baby last night. I had dinner with my friends. So, that was fun. I liked being able to do that anyway.

22:11 Well, that is the thing. It's like, "Oh, love your baby. Miss your mommy." You know, always tell the baby, "Miss your mommy." Okay. But thanks for being I'm sure it's gonna be great for you.

22:20 Yep. Like, you know, for us gays, that's what we see. We see our straight friends, they get married, and then you say "Well

22:28 that's it. See you later." Having their babies and I'll see you in 18 years. Nah, I still see him all the time. It's just different, you It's not at like nice dinners. It's just like we're both covered in in Cheerios now and barf.

22:42 Yeah. You see them you see them. It's just in a different context. Yeah. So then um Eugene and Toya are getting ready for their party. They're making a list and Toriya's inviting everybody and she's saying, "I'm very hesitant to invite the other ladies because we're judged on everything. I can't even keep track of all the things said about these l these ladies have said about us, but I'm just trying hardest to give my friends the opportunity to show me something different. Oh, okay. And then so we see clips of everybody being so judgmental and it's like heavenly going, "Wait a minute. Why are there camels at this party,

23:17 which I feel like is a valid judgment, you know, as a valid judgment. And like also you guys had tax issues, so that's why people are being judgy. Also, Toya, you're a judgy bitch." When I say [ __ ] I mean like the nice [ __ ] Like yes, [ __ ] Not like you're a dodgy [ __ ] But like, you know, like you're like we're judgy [ __ ] too. Like that's just how it is. Were you not just being judgy about Contessa's office building 5 seconds ago? Like I'm sure they could pull out a whole nice montage of you being judgy over the years. And guess what? Don't stop. We appreciate it and it's deserved. Um, but also another thing is like whenever you buy a house, that's like always inviting judgment. No matter what. Doesn't matter if you're toy or just anyone who buys a house.

23:56 People are going to people will will judge and they'll have side conversations. They'll be like, "Wow, I really like the house. Well, I was surprised they like I'm surprised they went for this or they did a good job with that." So, if you keep buying a house every single year, you're just basically inviting a new round of judgments. Sorry.

24:11 Yeah. So, she's telling you, Jean, okay, well, I started texting. Now, don't get me wrong, I started it, but there was a fake Balenciaga purse that was left in my party the other day. So, in our group chat, I said, "Whose fake ass purse is this?" And Eugene's like, "But why? Why do you have to go about it like that?" It's like, "Why?"

24:29 Who hates judgments, who hates judgments. And Toy, who doesn't have any fake things. I know. Yeah. Tori is like, "Why are they so judgmental? So who left this fake ass purse at my house?"

24:39 Yeah. So Toya is like, "Well, so Heaven Heavenly sends a text and is like, "Uh, baby, that's my purse, but like the h but my house is paid off." Which I love that. That was Heaven's response. It's like, "That's my purse, but my house is paid off. And Eugene goes, "Yeah, well, I'd hope so. You've been there 35 years." And she's like, "That's what I said." I mean, disgusting. They're living in an old house that they've been living off it for like 35 years. Like, it's not gross. It's called being financially responsible and preparing yourself for retirement at some point. Unlike Ugene, who's never going to be able to retire.

25:16 He's going to be working till he's 90 years old. I know. I love how judgy they are for someone who's been in their house since 2023. I'm I'm sorry for for 23 years. Like like she's like, "Wow, that's that's horrifying." You know, do you know that these things appreciate, right? Real estate supposed to appreciate or

25:38 Yes. You know that you are in debt and they have money coming to them like a lot of money coming to them from theirs. So Eugene is like, "Yeah, group chat, bad idea." Yeah. And she's like, "Oh, you and your friends still don't have a chat." And he's like, "Yeah, but we" He's like, "No, we don't have a group thread." Which is weird, right? That the guys on this show don't have a group thread.

26:00 That's I don't believe that. I don't either. I don't believe it. They definitely There's guys chat. If there's anything we learn from the Valley, there's always guys chat.

26:06 Yeah. So Toya's like, "Yeah, the only thing it would be would be about cigars and the next golf outing and like, you know, wearing sports jerseys." You know, Eugene was like, "Wow, you can have a group chat about that? I'm sorting it up right now. Hey guys, I just got a new cigar. Want to go golfing? I'm gonna get a new jersey afterwards.

26:23 Yeah. He's like, "Whose fake golf bag is this?" And they laugh. And she says, "I mean, girl, let me go love all my Oh, I said, girl, let me go love all my family and friends who love me in return and get this party together. See you." And then she put, "Girl, I'm in between patients, but I had to say this cuz my man loves me, too, but his dick is so big. You're loving on some little [ __ ] Let's go."

26:44 Heavenly. I just want to be in a thread with Heavenly where she tells me off every day.

26:50 I know. And Eugene's like, "This is the dumbest conversation ever." And he does that thing where he like sort of like looks left and right, you know, where he's like and he looks sort of like he sort of he becomes kind of like a little bit of a muppet cuz his head chicks goes the dumbest conversation ever. She's like, "Yeah, that was the first thing in the morning." So now we go to Steve.

27:09 You started it both with Heavenly and by telling everyone your h you wish your husband's dick was bigger, which I mean you started it on every level. So then we go to Mimi and Steve. They're on their way. And um he's uh Mimi is saying she's talking about the group chat and saying it was lit. She's like Toya and Heavenly went at it. And like I'm just embarrassed about my friends acting like this in this group chat. I just want you to know what you might be walking into. You're embarrassed. You're the one who signed up for this. You You This chat was been raging for years before you got here, Mimi. So then Toya announces, "So this is the party." So after yelling at Well, she didn't yell, but after uh after basically, you know, chastising Eugene for working too much, uh Toyo's like "Okay everyone I'm now going to throw a party with Louis Vuitton towels and all sorts of excess. It's a skip work day

28:04 Toya style. It's all about serenity, which spoiler alert, there's nothing serene about this party.

28:10 The fact that she says it's all about serenity is hilarious. So, she's like, "Yeah, I'm going to take the girls and transport them to the south of France."

28:20 Okay, this is not the south of France at all. This is not the south of France. Like the south of a French dressing bottle, maybe. So she's like, "Yeah, you gotta have a bartender with frozen drinks that cool you off." And we see, by the way, big week for that frozen margarita machine because it was the same one that Craig had on Southern Charm. They got a bunch of close-ups on this episode.

28:43 Oh, it's like the same brand and everything. I think so. It looked like it. Maybe we should put that on our on our Amazon live.

28:50 Yeah. Are there they selling these on Bravo right now? Uh so then Cecil, you know, people start arriving and stuff and Eugene's like, "Did you skip work?" And Cecil's like, "Well, hers can't be a skip date because she's skipping patients." And Simone's like, "I would have called I would I would have to be called Leave the Patience Behind." [gasps] So they they say, "Hi, Anila's there." And oh god, Anila and Kieran. They show up and of course a cyber truck. I for some reason I didn't really peg um Kieran to be a cybertruck driver. I pegged him to be someone who would make fun of those people. I pegged Eugene to be a cyber.

29:27 I thought Eugene would be the one with the cyber truck because Eugene is very much like he's like a big old like tech nerd and I feel like he would be into like the techy like the like oh my god it's self-driving and has all these features blah blah blah blah blah blah blah like the way like all those Tesla like the hardcore like Tesla people are. Um so I thought Eugene would be the one and then Kieran would just be like making fun of him but it was actually Kieran who has it and like I'm just so embarrassed for him. I'm embarrassed for anyone who has those trucks. I'm sorry to say.

29:57 Yeah, those trucks are stupid. I mean, they're just driving. They don't They don't even make any sense. And I was wondering, have you ever seen the windows down on those? Are they like knives? Are they like sharp daggers that

30:09 chop your children's fingers off because they're perfect triangles, you know, and then the window goes up into a triangle. So, how does that work?

30:17 I know we're going to get some emails from some people. I actually have a cyber truck and like I swear I'm not a dick. It's actually a really nice truck. Like I'm very happy for you, but what part of me saying that we're judgy [ __ ] did you not hear? I am a judgy [ __ ] I'm a judgy [ __ ] And I see the Cybertruck. I've got the Cyber the the the Cybertruck cafe. The the the pilot experiment, the Cybertruck diner is like a few blocks from me and

30:42 Oh god. Lined up. Oh my god. I drove past that the other day going I think I was with you. We were doing something in Hollywood and I was leaving there and going somewhere else in Hollywood and I passed that little place and I was cracking up. I mean it's the biggest douchebags. There's everybody's like out there shooting content. They're like, "Hey." They're like standing on their Tesla pretending they're surfing like you getting this. You getting this, bro? They're like shooting like hip-hop music videos in the streets on their Teslas cyber trucks and [ __ ] It's like oh my god. Literally every person in here is a [ __ ] douchebag. There was not

31:18 one normal person. It was literally all Tik Tok content creators acting like dicks. I was cracking up cuz I had never seen that before. It was like a movie set.

31:28 It's It's crazy. It's crazy. And then so I'm just like not going to have sympathy for anyone who drives a a Cybert truck because

31:35 No, those cars are stupid. It's just a douchy. It's just a douchy car. I'm sorry. So, I will say the Tesla, my cousin, one of my cousins got a Tesla and she was telling me about it the other day. That self-driving feature sounds amazing. Now, that sounds amazing. Now, politically, I wouldn't get it because I would driving one,

31:52 but I don't think people buy Whimos for themselves. Those are just like And also, they have like the full chimney thing on top, the chimney fan or whatever on top, which are really

32:01 I like to think of it as a top hat. Yeah. But the Tesla, she's like, "Yeah, I have it. take me to the mall. I said, because she went to the mall Christmas shopping and I'm like, who does that right before Christmas? Wasn't it crazy on the weekend? And she said, oh yeah, but I just had my car drop me off in the front and then I told it to go park itself, so it went to find parking and then when I was ready, it came to pick me up.

32:23 I mean, that's wild. I didn't know the Teslas could do that. I thought the Teslas were like you were in the car and it would sort of like drive for you, like it would follow the lanes, everything, but you still sort of have to monitor it. You could take your foot off the gas, it'll do the rest. I didn't know it was like you actually get out of the car. Imagine like that's what imagine that's the story that you were told but in reality it's like news report like abandoned Tesla rolls crashes into three cars in the mall parking lot. I wouldn't put it past this cousin to just be like yeah I just got out in front and when I came back my car was there waiting for me.

32:55 That is totally like her. It never drove away. I did take my first Whimo by the way. I took Whimo for the first time.

33:02 Your first one? Well, I don't know why I've never taken one. No, I've never taken one, but I drive everywhere. I don't really drink anymore. I don't drink that much anymore. So,

33:11 well, it was kind of great. Uh, it was [clears throat] uh what was crazy about it is that it changes lanes very aggressively. Like, it's kind of like, well, it was very much like the Teemo of changing lanes. It's like now is the time to change lanes and it's like like whoa. But it was it was nice.

33:26 Make chang. It was fun. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed my Whimo experience. I uh it's wild at first. It really is wild. You're really like, "Wow, there's no one driving this car. The steering wheel is just turning itself [gasps and laughter] and I'm in the hands of a robot." Um, but every time I start to get freaked out about that, you just have to reme remember all the times you've been in the hands of a human and the terrible decision that they make over and over and over again. And somehow the robot doesn't seem as bad.

33:59 I'm here for the robot apocalypse. Frankly, I think it's great. I mean, not [snorts] the apocalypse where they turn on us and kill us all, but the point leading up to that sounds so fun, you know, like we're almost do everything and, you know, it's great until they get sick of our [ __ ]

34:13 Anyway, so this is a party about serenity and she's like, and then everybody's going to walk around outside and be transformed where you just feel like you're around people with money. All right.

34:25 So, um, poor Tori, that's so tacky. just to be like, I want everybody to come to my place and feel like they're around money and people with money.

34:36 I feel like people with money don't feel like that. It's just like you you feel like you're around people with money cuz we're all rich. Like I don't have to make you feel that way with like cheesy branded towels.

34:48 Yeah. Or napkins. Zatoya's like, "Well, I'm going by my napkin right there. Did you Did you read it, Mimi? That napkin? Did you just sit on that little bitty ass?" So, she's mad cuz Mimi put a napkin down and sat on it and the napkin was like monogrammed or something. And Toya was so so mad that this napkin was not and this is also how you can see the difference. Ryan and I recently like we had we went to someone's house who was very very very wealthy, very very very very wealthy and she had all monogrammed cloth napkins and they were like and I was like oh my god this is like I was being so careful with it. It was like a monog it was like a little cloth napkin with a monogram. I was like be careful and she was like oh don't worry about that. I've got pack of 500 or something like that cuz you when you're wealthy you just buy them in mass. It's like buying solo cups and that's the difference cuz Toyo was like

35:46 wait but that was one of my monogram napkins. But I think it's also really offensive that she just like came and put a napkin down and then sat down like and she goes why you do that cuz my shit's clean. Okay, this isn't Heavenly's house. It

36:01 was also funny cuz like that napkin's probably not going to help. That was funny. But like I didn't I didn't I was looking away from the TV and I didn't go back. Did Did she put it down to protect herself or did she just sit on a napkin without realizing?

36:12 I don't know. But she's like, "Are you confused?" Because she sat on that little bitty napkin like it was a cle something over there. And Mimi's like, "Um, so this negativity." And she was like, "Yeah, where are you coming from with this negativity?" And and this is like Andy holds on to it for the rest of the episode cuz later on when she's like calling out people who are being negative at her party and she's like, "Mimi." It's like because of the napkin. Because she sat on the napkin.

36:34 This is coming for Mimi. Yeah. So now Heavenly and Damon arrive and Heavenly is like, "Oh, what a beautiful home. Now, wow, look at this. Can we go straight to the bar?" I said it was nice. Okay, now can we just go to the bar? And so Tori is like, "Oh, look at you, Goldilocks." She goes, "Oh, this a beautiful house, Tori. I swear to God, it looks like your last one, but grander this first one." So yeah. So yeah. So it's not like this one. It's not like the last one you were in, you know. This one, this one's grander. And you know what? It has so much more debt attached to it. Congratulations, Toy Story.

37:09 This is I really like this one. This is This is much better than their last one. But not the last one. The one before that. Well, the one that was after the other one, but before the other one. What was the one with the waterfall? The one which had the double doors. I forget which was the one that was haunted that had the ghosts and but the one that also had the basketball. Not that the one with the pool on the inside. And Tori Tori's like, "Oh, so the what we actually built, the forever home

37:29 that lasted two weeks. Come on now." Yeah. So Heavenly's like, "I mean, all the homes are nice. I mean, she's been in seven or eight homes. I could probably count them out, but who has the time? Toya works hard. She works hard, baby. She works hard for the money. I don't know what now I don't know what she does, but she works. She does something."

37:49 So she's like, "Are you so mad at me for Miss Morning?" She's like, "No, no, no. I promise to God, no. I I just came in to get my purse. That's all. I just need my purse. That's all I need. That's I need.

37:58 Which is funny because Toya is still mad from the morning, but she's asking if Heavenly's still mad. She's like, "Well, now you know the the purse as go in my closet. I mean, it wouldn't even go in. I mean, my door wouldn't unlock." She's like, "Yeah, I just need my purse. Can my purse, please?"

38:11 So then um uh then all of a sudden these servers come out and they're like it's like a guy in like like uh like tidy whiteies like this muscular guy, gorgeous muscular guy and everyone's like what?

38:26 Makes sense going on. It's just like the husbands are there but then there's also like but then there's like a woman who comes out in a bikini and we're like what is happening here? Why? Why are you

38:37 I want people to come into this party and and feel like rich people are here. I'm like, "Yep, just like you see at every wealthy person's party, strippers in their underwear serving, you know, like [ __ ] cost, you know, weenies or whatever they're serving."

38:52 You go to Granch, Connecticut, and I'll tell you one thing, all of those bankers have nothing but but bikini clad servers.

39:02 You're going to see some dick, that's for sure. And uh Emily's like, "Oh my god, look at this. Look at this guy with his dick out." So, [gasps] I mean, they brought their whole dicks out at the table, Simone. And Tori's like, "What are you talking about?" And she's like, "Mimi, you look uncomfortable." And Tori's like, "Come on, let's go outside. Come on." So, now they go out and Tori's like, "Go stop by the men servers. Go go go ask Wuji what he wants."

39:31 Yeah. And all the guys are like, "What is happening?" So Jackie and Curtis arrive and um then Contessa and Scott and Mimi's asking for a tour of the house. So Toya gives like a tour. She's like, "Okay, okay, this here's my closet. Look, there's a look, there's a tree in the closet." And contestant's like, "Wow, this is amazing. Who thought to put a [ __ ] tree in here? That's who would have thought? That's amazing." You know, they're all like, "Why is there a tree in our closet?

39:55 Why is there a big fake like Michael's tree in your closet with cherry plastic cherry blossoms glued on there? Like, is there storage in this tree? What do you do? Do you lean on it to put on your shoes? Like, what is the point of this tree? Could you have had an island or something that you could like fold clothes on or something?

40:12 Was this part of Avery's school play? Like, you're like very attached to the set. So, then Quad and King arrive and everyone's like, "Hey, King. Hey, we hired you to be a server. You got to take your shirt off or whatever." He's like, "No, no, no, Ro. I love this house, but I'm a little uncomfortable. I mean, why are there naked men here? Whoa, whoa. I can't see naked man.

40:33 They're like, "Sir, would you like an appetizer?" Exit only. Exit only. Okay. Exit only.

40:37 All right. So, um then, um Troy is like, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, you need some more." Okay, guys. Let's time to play a game. Okay. It's girls versus guys. So, I'm just It's just going to show how shape you guys are. Okay. I'm going to put some hula hoops on the ground and uh I want you to keep in shape so that when we go on the couple's trip, you all look good and you can take off your shirts. What the hell kind of game? It says, "There is no game in the world that would get me ready to go take off my shirt out of town." Okay, put your hula hoops away. Save yourself some time.

41:08 So, she basically she wants to have like a fun little scene, but like at the at all the husband's expense. And the guys are like, "We thought this was like a day off. Like, we don't like we don't want to play a game. We just want to like hang out and smoke our cigars." And she's like, "We got to do it. We got to do it." And Eugene's like, "Okay guys, I'm going to write a script so that way we can uh be excused from strenuously exercised." So he starts writing like a prescription you know as like a joke to like oh let me show you how to play.

41:32 Okayene now you know out of anyone I understand the frustration of when you're trying to put together a party game and you want people to pay attention and have buy in because you know it could be really fun, it could be really funny, it could be a really great moment and then there's one person who's like their humor is to be like you know anti and then they ruin the whole vibe and your whole thing goes down in plants. So, I get that. I fully get that from Toya. But your party game is to like humiliate like your husband, you know? And it's like, no, Toya, like this is like your whole thing is that you you want him to be home more and then now he's home and you want to like you want to like humiliate him with like this party game. I don't

42:20 Well, even that I mean, the game didn't even nothing. We don't even know anything about the game. So, we don't even know if it was good, bad, whatever. But she's like, Jean, are you paying attention? And he's he's pretending to write the prescriptions. And he's like, "Oh, I'm just going to keep writing these." She goes, "Oh, really? You want to be hard right now?" And he's like, "Uh,

42:39 so she starts like going at him at this party." And it's really awkward. And she's trying, I think, to like get some I don't know, like what do you do?

42:49 There's like a desperation about this. There's something so weird about it that she's just going to like let Eugene have it in front of everybody and show everybody who's boss. And it's like

42:59 there's like she comes in with an energy to this whole game that's like not like okay guys we're going to do something fun. She's like okay Eugene okay I'll let you do your thing and then when you're done like or she's she doesn't even say something like like okay could you Eugene please can you like help me out with this? Like she sort of has this like determination like I'm going to have this scene. We're going to do this. We're going to do this. Like oh you're not going to do this with me? Oh, so now you're gonna be hard. Like there's like a there there's like a she's like unsettled or something and uh it starts to like totally unravel for her and she cannot stop herself now. Now she's going down this path and he's like, "Whoa, whoa." When she's like, "Oh, now you're going to be hard." cuz now she's like really kind of like she is now like challenging him at like a on like a personal level that's

43:47 already now very awkward for all the guests cuz we you know that this has now shifted from banter to like uh oh this is a couple fights. So Steve's like wow why is your wife talking to you like that bro? And she's like oh u are you done? And he's like I had to write some doctor's excuses. And Scott's like, "Oh yeah, we got doctor's excuses so we don't have to participate." She's like, "Oh yeah, you think you're really funny, Luj." And he's like, "So what if we got doctor's notes? We got notes." And so this it's like trying to be funny. But it's past that point cuz she's made it so awkward. So she's like, "Okay, man.

44:19 Come on this side." And Eugene, can you be the leader of your house and lead your friends to this side? And Heavenly's like, "Oh, no. Toya toy. No, no, baby. No, no, no." And she goes, "Well, how else do you expect them to get up?" And Heavenly goes, "Say daddy." I like that. Say, daddy, it always works, daddy. And Eugene's like, I mean, you can do it in a nice way or you can do it in a mean way. She's like, I did it in a nice way first. I've been asking you for the last 30 minutes. And he's like, yeah, and we had a joke where we had doctors. It wasn't funny. He's like, but you want to do that? We're not going to do that.

44:50 She's like, well, it wasn't funny. And Curtis is like, I mean, it's kind of funny. I mean, some of these are funny if you you read the prescriptions. Like, this one here was very funny. She's like, I don't want to hear it.

45:00 Yeah. So he's like, "Well, I can sit here all day long." Eugene says, "So she's like, "I try. I'm over this. I'm over it. I'm over it." Now the whole party is standing basically in a circle watching her just lose her [ __ ] mind. It's so awkward. And so she walks inside all pissed off and he's he's like, "Okay, it's okay. I mean, we've been married 18 years, right? I'll get over this." And so

45:21 he's fine. Yeah. Anila pulls Toya to go try and have a scene, which I love that they didn't even put one sliver of dialogue of Anila's in there. They just cut it all out. Sorry, Anila. You can keep trying it. But yeah, there the production's a huge no on Anila. So Heavenly's like, "Oh no, they're going to start this [ __ ] in a new house. I mean, this house costs too much. The divorce is going to take too much money away from the house. I mean, who's going to get the house?" And Quad's like, "No one. They're going to stay together and they're going to kill each other in this house."

45:52 And then Curtis turns to King. He's like, "Is this what you got to look forward to?" And King's like, "Man, no. Nada. I did some research and I found that one out of seven couples end in divorce. So, I'm already prepared. Like, wow, you really do do your research. So, Toya's like, "Well, they all want to do is just like sit around and drink and watch that, you know, watch asses walk by." And Neil's like, "Well, then let's let we can play the game." And she's like, "No, it's not. It just it wasn't just a game." Okay. And so, Catessa now comes up to console Toya in this they're in the closet and she's like, "For a man, that's a good party."

46:27 What' you say? She did get a sliver of dialogue. Sorry. Did you get a line? Sorry. Yeah, I thought she didn't even get one line. Okay, go ahead.

46:34 Stop with the Anila eraser. Okay, I did. I was like, "Yes, for erasing Anila. She deserves it." But never mind.

46:41 Just happy her mom wasn't there to be honest. So, um so they're like they're like rallying around her and then um Eugene is or well maybe they're not even in the in the closet yet. They're inside and Eugene comes in. And he's like, you know, he's like, you know, you don't have to talk to me, but Toya, like, and she's like, no, don't try to be nice to me now, okay? Cuz all cuz you were like just out there being embarrassing to me. And he's like, what the [ __ ] did you just say? Like, what what do you mean? And she's like, don't [ __ ] cuss at me because you don't want me to you. What I said to you is, hey, can you please be the leader and lead the man? And there's nothing wrong with that. You took that personal because you obviously don't feel like you are. I'm like, Toya, you were not like, could you please lead the men and help out with this game? No.

47:20 No. And that's not where it started. It started way before that when you were like yelling at him at the party for no reason and acting like an [ __ ] I mean, she's just such an [ __ ] in the situation. And now she's doing it again. She's yelling Now she's yelling at him in front of the guest again. Now they're just doing it inside. And he's like, "But I mean, listen, the ladies next to you took it personal, too." And she goes, "Oh, [ __ ] them [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] what they think. They don't even have real [ __ ] conversation with their husbands and they don't know how to be like uh you know how to be who they are unless they're not around their husband and you want to sit there and compare compare them to us. I need to go fix my makeup. I was like okay. So not only is your husband a piece of [ __ ] but all your friends marriages suck.

48:01 Yeah. And this is somehow evidence of your of your relationship actually being the best.

48:05 Yeah. So then Scott's like, "Yeah, she just needs a minute to calm down." And Eugene's like, "Yeah, well, I mean we're easy to get hot and you know, me too." And I'm not going to say it's just it's not just her. You know, and Scott's like, "You're easy to get hot." Like Eugene. Eugene is like never lost his temper like massively. And Eugene's like, "Yeah, no, I'm like really I'm like really easy to get hot, guys. Like look, like I'm angry. See guys, that was like so that was so hot right there. I was like so lost my temper, right?" Like Mhm. So then Steve is like, "Um, just a question. Just asking to learn." Um, is that like normal or was that extreme for you guys?

48:41 like, "Do you guys fight like this all the time?" or "Yeah." And they're like, "So, are you trying to psychoanalyze this now?" And so they start kind of laughing and Mimi's like, "Listen, marriage is the most sanctification that you will experience. It shows you yourself." Well, that's horrifying. He just had to fight with Toya. Don't tell him that.

49:02 Wants to see himself and Toya or Toya and himself or whatever. So he's like, "Okay, well, I could have read the room better cuz she's super stressed about have No, this is crazy. You did not read the room wrong. Toya's being an [ __ ] and somebody needs to [ __ ] tell her. Everybody in this house is just kissing Toriya's ass now. Now that all the girls go upstairs like, "No, Toya, you were right." No, Heavenly is the only person here who's like, "No, that's not cool. You shouldn't be yelling at your husband like that in front of everybody." And it's right whether Heavenly is an [ __ ] most of the time or not. This is [ __ ] crazy of Toya. That's nuts.

49:34 Yeah, I agree. I I I agree totally. And um so Kings So then King's like, "Well, I like the apology, but an apology is with an attitude." That's just like no apology at all. And Quad's like, "Well, if I feel like I've done something wrong, I'll come back and I'll apologize." But you don't apologize nicely. You apologize with attitude. I was like, "Excuse me.

49:56 What are you doing? What are you doing, sir? You can sit down, too. This isn't even about you. Why do you need to insert yourself being an [ __ ] in a scene that's not even a King being an [ __ ] scene?

50:06 Yeah, King I don't like. You were doing so well this episode. Like I was saying last year, this [ __ ] everybody thinks is real cute with King is going to be done in I'm saying five years, but probably less. I mean, this would get grading. This guy just being a dick on purpose just to like be hilarious, but he's not being hilarious. He's saying what he really means. He's like, "Oh, I'm just going to tell all your friends now that you're a total [ __ ] to me, and you only apologize uh with attitude." Like, what are you? We already have Toya, okay? Be quiet. We'll get to you later. So, Toya's upstairs and she's like, "Well, I walked away because I was I was just starting to get a [ __ ] place, you know." And Cadessa's like, "Well, I came to check on you, boo, cuz someone once asked, "Who's going to check me, boo?" And it'll be me, but I'm going to check on you. And I was looking for you to teach

50:53 us how to play that game, you know? Oh, and she's like, "You and Scott, no. What I really want, I'm going to be nice and include one person, but I'm going to have my own personal conversation with them." She's like, "Oh." Oh, so you're going to exclude Heavenly. And she's like, "Yeah, I want Heavenly and Mimi to get out. I want them to get out." And just as a reminder,

51:09 that's two people. Yeah. And the only thing that I can see that Mimi did wrong here was sit on a napkin. Right. So Doyle's like, "I want them out."

51:18 And Cadessa's like, "So you want me to go tell them? You want me to be the bad guy? I don't have a problem with that." She's like, "Yeah, I don't like that [ __ ] Don't do that." like don't egg on don't egg in the arguments between me and my husband like that's not cool. So now I feel like Toya is going to try to create a narrative where they would have had a normal conversation but heavenly egged it on to become a bigger fight than it actually was which is not true whatsoever.

51:39 It's not true. I mean all she said was don't you shouldn't talk to your husband like that and she was right. You were being embarrassing. So now she's going to make it all their fault, you know. So um Qua's like well I love you beautiful tree. It's like thank you but you know watching Eugene to die like a TV show talking about like don't talk to her like that Toya because you were making a scene Toya if you don't want people to act like an audience and stop making a scene girl and

52:06 literally on TV on TV also. Yes. And Contessa's like I don't need people telling me how to talk to my husband. And Tori's like yeah but you know like leader of the household lead the men. I mean where's the insult in that? Because you're saying that like he is not really a you saying he's not a man. You're saying like he's not a leader. The man in the house be a man. You're not even a man. You can't even do that.

52:32 Yeah. And then you and then you were like, "Oh, now is the time that you want to be hard?" Implying that he does he's often very soft. He's he's not he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't you know stiffen up in most situations. So Contessa is like, "Can you talk to Eugene and be nice because he's nothing but contrite right now. He's very apologetic. Yes, he really is so contrite. And Toyo's like, "Well, he's always apologized to other people." And God's like, "No, he's going to apologize to you. You can do it." So Toya's like, "Okay, fine." So she goes downstairs and she's like, "Hey."

53:06 They just had this conversation. They're like, "Just go make up with you, James." Like, "Okay, let's get back to a positive place. Sounds great, guys. Okay, now we can go back to a peaceful party. Sounds great. I'll be right back, guys. Be right back." So she goes downstairs to hear Eugene out and she goes, "Y'all listening because you like to listen to all the negative shit." So for those of you who aren't my friends, who like to sit here and watch me and Eugene go back and forth and talk all that [ __ ] about what your relationship like, what about what your relationships are like when you're not, please don't make me list all the [ __ ] that I know about all of you. Don't do that to me. Don't do it because I'm done with this [ __ ] and we have faith.

53:44 And Heaven's like, "What is she even mad about?" And she's like, "Whoa, we just really [ __ ] up." Because you know why? He was more concerned about what the [ __ ] you hater [ __ ] think. And that's what the [ __ ] I was concerned. Now she's screaming at the whole party and calling them all hater [ __ ] And Heavenly's like, "Uh, are you looking at me?" She goes, "Oh yeah, I'm looking at you cuz you stood right [ __ ] here. It was you, Heavenly, Randy, Mimi. All you [ __ ] talked about us." And Heavenly is like, "Uh, I mean Eugene knows the way you treat him." It's like, "This is my [ __ ] house." And we [ __ ] love each other and we got kids upstairs. So, let's be clear cuz I'm not drunk at all. I'm not drunk at all. Like, what I'm going to not what I'm not going to do is have you up here smiling my [ __ ] face when you get guy got my [ __ ] back as far as my marriage. Oh, okay. And Heavenly's

54:32 like, "Oh, everybody's got your back with your marriage. We're your friends. I mean, everybody was saying the same shit." I mean, having your back in the marriage is telling you to stop like verbally abusing your husband in front of your friends. Like, that's [ __ ] behavior.

54:44 Crazy. Exactly. So, Angel's like, "Yeah, this is Cuz Angel's there, by the way." Angel's like, "This baby, this this energy is not good in your new house." And Bry's like, "I I don't even remember what we said." Like, "Well, we've got to be mindful of each other's feelings." [gasps] That's why one of the reasons why when you go to people's houses, you just got to be on your best behavior. Just hold your tongue real tight because if you say anything, they're going to put your ass out. That's it.

55:10 So, everyone's like, "Okay." Yeah. Well, Quad would know. Quad has been put out of many a house on this show. She's like, "Take it from me. Say one thing in someone else's house, you're screwed." You want to fight with someone, do it at a restaurant.

55:23 Yep. So, everyone's like, "Uh, well, thanks Eugene. Thanks for having us. That's a

55:28 fun party." They're like, "Bye bye." Yeah. So awkward. While it just ends, so it starts with Toya screaming at her husband in front of everybody and ends with Toya screaming at everybody. Oh. Oh,

55:42 yeah. So Simone is like, "Okay, Toya, tell me what's going on." She's like, "I'm just tired of them. Tired of being judged like our relationship is any different from anyone else's. I'm over it. I'm tired of crying and every [ __ ] Can you please get me a napkin with my name on it, please?" And so Simone is like, "Okay, well, you know, people deflect and they deflect all to you because they don't want to deal with their own shit." She's like, "You can't take that in." And basically Simone's like, I understand how how she feels because but what I don't understand is why she's giving Heavenly all this power. Like don't give her any ammunition.

56:17 Of course Simone is going to turn this into Heavenly thing, too. She's going to be like, "Oh yeah, this is Heavenly's problem." Yeah, I don't understand why she gives Heavenly this power. How about tell her to stop yelling at her husband in front of the friends and then stop screaming at all of the friends at the party. like

56:33 you're just trying to use her against your own proxy war against Heavenly, which is crazy cuz Heavenly was just being really nice to you at that other event when you were leaning on her.

56:41 Such a weirdo. So Heavenly is like, "Well, this house is beautiful. Thank y'all so much, Daddy. Let's go, Toy. I never said anything bad, by the way." And she's like, "Yes, you did." "No, I didn't. What did I say?" And she's like, "I sat there and I watched you heavily." She goes, "I said that that's how they love each other." You know, some people's love language is gifts and some people's love language is hung. And Tori's love language is just ripping her husband a new [ __ ] in front of people. That's all I know is to no heavenly. You sarcastically do that [ __ ] on the regular. She's like, "Well, it's a beautiful house and I thank you for it. Bye-bye. You've got my fake purse cuz I need it cuz we can't get we can't get the door. We can't get the door."

57:18 But she gets so mad. She's like, "Your [ __ ] door, your cantaliever door, whatever it was that Cadessa Cadessa was like, I love a cantal lever door, whatever it was called." So then they finally like get this door open and Heavenly's like, "Mimi, did we see anything negative about the marriage?" And Mimi's like, "Well, that's the thing." No, we didn't. But the thing is that she doesn't know that right now. She can't receive anything from us cuz Toya style communication is very one-sided. She likes to hear her own opinion and you just have to meet people where they are and she is just right there like nowhere.

57:51 So King tries to get Heavenly to go back in and she's like, "No, no, no, no, no." And Damon's like, "Here's the thing. Like, Eugene's my friend and Toriel's cool with me, so I'd rather leave. And I'm not like, it's not hatred. It's just respect, you know?" And she's like, "Well, bless this house. It's a beautiful house. It's a beautiful house. The bank is going to love taking this house back. They're going to love it." So then Brandy uh is inside is like saying, "It's never my intention to make you feel that way." And especially if it created any issue with your marriage, so I apologize for that if it made you feel that way, Contessa. And cuz they're talking about her party. And Contessa's like, "Well, I don't know one marriage that people don't argue with." She's like, "Yeah, no, I'm sorry for real."

58:33 And Quad's like, "Well, people fight in friendships, so you know that they fight in marriages. It just is what it is." Yeah, but then don't go around saying, "I'll be your [ __ ] friend." wanted to be like, "Why you judging me behind my back?" You know, and Jackie's like, "Well, I still have to say you're both wrong." She's like, "Don't start that willy-nilly shit." Okay. Well, it's better than saying you're wrong, which is the truth.

58:57 Jackie's like, "Okay, instead of saying I will have to say, I'll just say I enjoy saying that you're both wrong." That was fun. Let me do it again.

59:05 Now, have you considered counting your calories as a couple? Smells like, well, they had a beef even before she got here. Like, yeah, it was not a beef about anything. I mean, Heavenly has a beef with everybody in the [ __ ] room. What are you talking about? Heavenly has dogged your husband and He's talked about Jackie's husband. She's talked about her whole life and her ass and everything that she could think of and [ __ ] And she [ __ ] with anybody. And you, Angel, you're going to be next. And then your Brandy, you're next, too. And of course, we see a I think we see a montage of heavenly talking [ __ ] about everyone on this cast for years and years and years.

59:41 I've been hilarious. That's not wrong. Like what she's saying isn't wrong, but it's also not the point. This was you. This was all you. This was all your fault. You made an ass out of yourself. And I thought there was like a glimmer of hope for her when she said, "I feel like I failed myself today." And I was like, "Oh, wow. Toya is going to take some responsibility." And then she goes, "Because Heavenly is a snake. This just sli." Oh, okay. Okay. So, it's all Heaven's fault.

1:00:06 Typical. Typical. And she says she's going to keep slivering until you chop a head off. It's like geez.

1:00:16 Yeah. Don't chop Heavenly's head off because she, as usual, is the most entertaining thing about this [ __ ] show.

1:00:23 About this episode and every episode on this show. She is hilarious. And all she had to say was like four lines.

1:00:29 I know. just Yeah, it was wild. It was a really, really good episode. Well, thanks everyone for

1:00:35 Yeah, thanks everyone for being here and we will be back tomorrow with some below deck Mediterranean. And we also have, unless it's already happened, Amazon live tonight. So, we'll catch you on the next one. Bye

1:00:49 bye.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Married To Medicine S12E04: Toya Story"?

In order: 0:00 Julia Simone, Brandy, Contessa, Heavenly; 10:00 LOL dolls, Contessa, Julia Simone; 20:00 Heavenly, Contessa, Julia Simone; 30:00 Heavenly, Contessa, Julia Simone; 40:00 Heavenly; 50:00 Heavenly, Contessa, Brandy, Julia Simone; 1:00:00 Heavenly.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

11 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Heavenly, Julia Simone, Contessa, Brandy, Chelsea Toya, Quad. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Married To Medicine S12E04: Toya Story"?

The episode runs 1 h 1 min; the transcript is about 13,114 words in 172 timestamped sections.

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