RHOSLC S614 Trick of the Trademark

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Mother's Day, Ray Whitney, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Alison Roman
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Ray Whitney, Meredith Marks, Ronnie, Mother's Day
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Mother's Day, Ray Whitney, Brooksie, Meredith Marks
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Nick D. Giovani, Mother's Day, Brooksie
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Mother's Day, Brooksie, Ray Whitney, Nick D. Giovani
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Ray Whitney, Nick D. Giovani, Meredith Marks
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Ray Whitney
8. 1:10:00 – 1:17:28: Ray Whitney, Meredith Marks, Mother's Day

Notable quotes from "RHOSLC S614 Trick of the Trademark"

• Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

  about Ronnie · at 0:00

• Yeah, today is Real Housewives of SLC as we mentioned. And Monday is our final Amazon Live for the year. So, join us for that at 400 PM Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can get…

  about Amazon Live · at 1:06

• Everybody's waking up in I am Greek and Whitney is probably still drunk and screaming, Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. It is Mother's Day in Greece.

  about Ray Whitney · at 2:38

• This is such a great Meredith Marks episode. this is Meredith Marks having a pity party is one of my favorite versions of her. I think we talk a lot about Meredith Marks getting.

  about Meredith Marks · at 15:18

• Totally right. She's Oh, look at this. The finger is coming back. I'm trying to bring Brooksie back on the phone.

  about Brooksie · at 23:49

• So the rest of them go meet Giovani, their cooking instructor. And while they're all getting situated, we keep cutting back and forth to like the happiness of Oh, welcome, welcome.

  about Nick D. Giovani · at 29:38

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Ray Whitney — Person · 21 mentions · first at 2:41
• Angie — Person · 8 mentions
• Nick D. Giovani — Person · 7 mentions · first at 29:38
• Meredith Marks — Person · 5 mentions · first at 15:20
• Ronnie — Person · 4 mentions · first at 0:02
• Brooksie — Person · 4 mentions · first at 23:53
• Bronx — Person · 2 mentions
• Alison Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:25
  Page over at our link in bio on Instagram. We can you can go check out our crappy hour. We had Allison Roman on this week, which was super fun to talk to her. And I think…

Books & papers

• My Secret Santa — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:46
  It's with the reality gays. And the movie we recaped is called My Secret Santa on Netflix. We're not necessarily suggesting you watch that movie cuz it sucked. Okay, it's bad.

Companies & orgs

• Amazon Live — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:13

Concepts & topics

• Mother's Day — Concept · 21 mentions · first at 2:45
  Everybody's waking up in I am Greek and Whitney is probably still drunk and screaming, Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. It is Mother's Day in Greece.
• Real Housewives of Salt Lake City — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 0:17
  Today is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City day. We're rushing up to the Christmas holiday. We're so excited. My god, it's going to be so fun. It's next week. Yeah, it's next.

Places & events

• Tango — Place · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

0:07 Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? How they hanging, bro? Everything's hanging real well. How's everything hanging with you?

0:14 Good. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City day. We're rushing up to the Christmas holiday. We're so excited. My god, it's going to be so

0:26 fun. It's next week. Yeah, it's next week. I'm very excited and that's really all I have to say. And also, you know, Christmas gifts are starting to come and man, it is just candy, cookies, cookies, candy, candies, cookie, cookies. So, I'm just surrounded by

0:44 Yeah. Well, not that. I haven't had any dildos yet, but lots of cookies and stuff. And, you know, I ain't even complaining. I'll tell you who's fighting it is my medication. My weight loss medication.

0:55 It's like, you don't want that. I'm like, eating it anyway. So, u my body is in rebellion at the moment, but God bless it. Thanks to everybody who sends me junk food. Yeah,

1:04 I love you. Um, but yeah, today is Real Housewives of SLC as we mentioned. And Monday is our final Amazon Live for the year. So, join us for that at 400 PM Pacific time on Amazon Live. You can get a link to that page over at our link in bio on Instagram. We can you can go check out our crappy hour. We had Allison Roman on this week, which was super fun to talk to her. And I think that's it for special stuff. Oh, we've got our Christmas movie coming up over Christmas. It'll be Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and then Monday and Tuesday the next week. There's four episodes. It's long. It's ridiculous.

1:44 It's with the reality gays. And the movie we recaped is called My Secret Santa on Netflix. We're not necessarily suggesting you watch that movie cuz it sucked. Okay,

1:53 it's bad. It sucked hardcore. But man, we had fun talking about how much it sucked for four hours. So, join us for that over the Christmas holiday. Ben's got a little cough today, so sorry.

2:06 It's like I'm not like under the weather. Like I feel totally fine. I think it's like either allergies or I don't know what it was. I don't know. But like I I have like a little bit of a little cough is coming up. So, I apologize to anyone who I'm like coughing in your ears with this podcast. I'm just what the body does. Okay. I took some cough medicine to like to abate it a little bit, but you know what? I got a little post-nasal drip that's causing a little bit of cough. Okay.

2:30 Yeah. So, we open Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, season 6, episode 14. Everybody's waking up in I am Greek and um Whitney is probably still drunk and screaming, "Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day." It is Mother's Day in Greece.

2:53 It's Greek Mother's Day. Greek Mother's Day. Very exciting. Yeah. Everyone's opening up the blinds. I feel like the producers were like, "Can you We need to get footage of you opening the blinds because we need to make a montage of blinds opening." So, that's what we see here. It's very exciting.

3:09 Big move on production's part, guys. We need more blind opening on this show. Okay.

3:14 Yeah, let's do it. So, uh Whitney comes out of the bathroom topless. Um, and they need more towels and so they have to call a butler, which I think they're joking. I don't know if they really have a butler or not, but

3:26 yeah. No, not on Salt Lake City. I would assume not. But yeah, those two can't do anything. Last week they were asking, you know, they were saying, should we go get water or go or go take a shower and then they decided they didn't have time to get water and everyone online is was well, not everyone, but there was a Reddit thread like, are they on drugs? Do you think water meant coke? No, I think it meant water because

3:49 those two dumb dummies are the ones who don't go to the store to get water. And you know what? I judge people like that cuz what's the first thing I do when we get to a hotel bed? I go find a 7-Eleven or a store and I get me some gallons of water.

4:01 You got to do it. You never know. That is 100%. That is 100% correct. You always find the water every single time.

4:07 Yes. Thirsty be Now we Yeah. Now, we see um Heather and Angie in the kitchen, and there's a chart there that says the friendship commandments. And Heather's like, "Are these our commandments?" And we flash back to the tea boss and tea party where Brain's like, "Here ye, here ye. We're going to have friendship commandments." Yes. And this was one of the episodes where Heather, and Heather does this probably every episode, but especially on vacations, it makes me crazy. Where everything is amazing. Like everything that happens, she has to yell and scream to everybody around how amazing it is.

4:43 She's like, "Oh my god, are these the commandments?" Like these are the friendship commandments that we make the way we make a mark when anybody does something wrong. Is that what we do? Like everything. They get dinner later and she's like, "Oh my god, is this food? Are you kidding me? Like, oh my god. Like, she's the most performative, happy person on vacation.

5:14 Is that sunset? That's such a Greek sunset. Oh my god. It's like, you're not having as much fun as me. You know, is what she's yelling at you the whole time on vacation. And I'm like, I just want to be away from you. Just be quiet. I'm on vacation.

5:30 Well, she's definitely cheating towards the audience, right? Like she's like, "Wow, look at this." It's like winking like, "Guys, take a look at this. Salt Lake City bringing the comedy again, America."

5:44 It's kind of her vibe. So, this has columns and it has all their commandments on it. And so, whenever one of them, you know, goes against their commandment, they get a mark. They get a red mark.

5:54 And um so Angie is, you know, not the brightest sometimes. So, she's trying to figure it out. She's like, "Wait a minute. So, this is a list of commandments. So wait, if we get a mark, does that mean that we've done something good or bad? God,

6:11 don't have game night with Angie. Yeah, they're strikes. Strikes against you. And so Braun's like, "Okay, well, I'm going to regret this." Yeah. No, I put this up because of, you know, originally it was supposed to be, you know, it was supposed to be like a funny thing, like a reverse sticker chart. You know, the sort of comedy that comes from calling out your friends for acting like [ __ ] Mhm. Mhm. And then we see a flashback to um a day earlier and Bronwins put it up and Meredith is watching and she's like, "Well, if we all are going to stick to our commandments that we made, so you know, if I said something about someone's family, they would come back and they'd like put a block on that square." And Meredith's like, "I'm not sure I understand that. And even if I did, are we supposed to put up gold stars because I used up all my gold stars putting them on Brooksiey's door cuz he's the best

6:56 little toddler in America?" Well, we're always acting like kindergartenersh. And so this is what kindergarteners do. So it's a sticker chart. And I think if you see your entire column in red, then that's bad. And maybe that'll be like a little motivation to change your behavior.

7:18 Yeah. Their behavior is nationally televised and it is ridiculed by the internet on mass every single year and no one has changed. I don't know if like a little red red ink on the wall is going to do anything

7:32 but you know, have fun trying. So, uh, Ronin's like, "Well, you know, people with the least marks all by a prize. You stick to your commandments and you know what I mean. You know what I mean, guys?" And Heather's like, "Wait a minute. So, that means we win. I'm already in the lead." And Angie's like, "I'm not getting a prize." And and Braum's like, "I'm just hoping the sheer humility and embarrassment will turn some of this behavior around." Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Again, no, that's that's No, you're No. So, Heather's like, "Well, I don't want any checks. I want to have my record clean and pure. Let's give Lisa more checks."

8:06 And then she can say, "I didn't do that. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed. Dismissed." Then we hear echoes of dismiss, dismissed, dismissed, dismissed dismissed dismissed

8:18 dismissed. So, they go outside and Angie's uh there's not much room between the door and the pool. So, Angie's like walking around the along the ledge and acting like she's going to fall off a building and everyone's like, "Oh, oh god, this is funny. Do you see Angie? She's walking along a ledge. Hilarious. I feel like I am Joseph Smith back in the pioneer days coming across a lake and not wanting to fall in. Oh, dear God in heaven, please save us and the sisterhood. Um, and then we find out it's Mother's Day again because, you know, Whitney comes out and she's like, "Happy Mother's Day." And so they're all wishing each other happy mother's day.

9:02 And um, Heather is saying, "Best Mother's Day ever." I mean, honestly, I know I'm not supposed to say that, but like Mother's Day, I mean, on a girls trip with no responsibilities, every Mother's Day should be like this. Um, and Britney's like, "Well, Mother's Day is usually bittersweet for me, and so it's nice being around other mothers, but at the same time, it's a little difficult seeing how other mothers relate to their kids in an uncomplicated, normal way when I have a really complicated, nuanced relationship." Um, is it complicated or did you just abandon her for several years? I mean, I think

9:42 like you've had a few chances to simplify that situation and um and you haven't. So Britney's like, "Can I point something out?" Just like we're light and bright and having fun and there's one person that's missing. I wonder who that is. Yeah. So, you're blaming Meredith for not being there for you guys to pound her and like like dog pile her. Then you then you're like, "Wow, it's so fun without Meredith. Not for long, cuz you all won't have a toy for very long. Leave her alone. Leave her alone for too long and they'll be coming for you next, madame."

10:17 That's right. Uh so, um let's see. So, Heather is, you know, really upset about Meredith still. And so she tells a really damning story about Meredith. She's like, "This morning I saw her. I was trying to make coffee, but the coffee machine was broken and she was very madish. She was very madish. I could tell. I could just tell she was going to get mad cuz she tried to get coffee and Angie said it's broken." And then Angie was trying to fix it and Meredith was so mad. Has Have been around someone who drinks coffee before? Like this is a normal emotional response to the coffee machine being broken. You wake up in the morning, you're dealing with a whole bunch of [ __ ] You're tired, you're hung over, you're jet-lagged, and all you are looking forward to is just a nice little cup of coffee. And then the coffee machine's broken on what's supposed to be some sort of five-star luxury, you know, accommodation. So yeah, I would be

11:12 mad too. Yeah. Don't take it don't take it personally. You know, she's mad at the coffee. Geez, she's mad at the curig. Who's who hasn't been there?

11:22 Yeah. Who hasn't been? Everyone like the whole half the point of coffee is that like coffee makes you feel better because nor and then when it's not there for you, you're you're grumpy. And that's just how coffee is. That's that's coffee culture.

11:35 Yeah. But it's also Heather's like, "Wow, I just yelled at her at dinner again last night after she tried to give me a peace offering. I wonder why she's still mad. This is so crazy." like I'm going to enrage somebody and then I'm going to act like a huge victim when they're mad the next day, which you know is typical. So she's like, you know, Meredith refuses to acknowledge my experience and last night's dinner was no different. I mean, I just shouldn't keep having the same discussion, I guess, but I'm just holding out. Oh, that Meredith will swallow her pride for the sake of our friendship.

12:08 Lady, she just wants coffee. Okay, so Britney is like, Angie, okay, like what are we doing? What? What's What's happening next? And Angie's like, "Well, first we need to find Meredith." So Mary goes in to find her. And Angie's like, "Lisa, Bronin, Mary, and myself are going to ride donkeys." Oh my god. Are you kidding? Are Are we really? Oh my gosh. Like, we're really going to like go ride donkeys? That's like crazy right now. Oh my god. I love that. I love a donkey. I thought I would put asses on asses. These are two asses. And then Meredith, Britney, Heather, and Whitney. And Whitney's like, "Whoa, that's an interesting combo." She's like, "Yes, are going to Greek cooking cooking class." And Whitney's like, "Why do you hate me all of a sudden?"

12:52 Even though I'm really frustrated with Meredith, it might be nice to spend some good one-on-one time with her at cooking class. And then Britney is like, "Um, are there just like not enough donkeys on the island for all of us? Like, what about me?" So, uh, Whitney's like, "Yeah, cuz every time Meredith opens her mouth, Lisa's, um, typing in." And, um, uh, wait, what happens when Meredith talks? I'm confused.

13:20 So, now we go to Mary Mary uh, seeing if Meredith is okay. And Meredith is in full-on victim mode where her head is completely tilted to the side, and she's just looking down, shaking her head like,

13:33 so she's like, "Are you okay?" He's like, "Well, I'm very tired. I'm being treated like I'm a piece of dirt on the floor. If I'm going to be treated like a piece of dirt, please don't be dirt on the ground. I'd like to be dirt on a seat." So Mary's like, "Well, so what do you want to do?" Well, I really don't know. I mean, the good news is it's Mother's Day, and I know the sound of my toddler calling me from across an ocean is the only thing that will get me through the day. So, that's something I'm going to look forward to quite a bit in the future.

14:03 I'm just not in the mood to deal with them. They are mean girls and they are mean and that is it. And uh so she's very tired of Whitney making these false accusations and then we see a flashback to oh yeah alcoholic pill popper. H so good. So Meredith is like it's exhausting. They are damaging and she needs to worry about herself and her home life and stop projecting it on to me. It's giving me like and Meredith is like well I don't think she's taking accountability for how she hurt you. Well, she didn't hurt me, Mary, because I don't care what she thinks. What are you not understanding here? Uh oh. Meredith is in rare form today. They finally broke her. I mean, I think Meredith came on this trip, you know, doing her whole like, look what I got necklace, like trying to be nice and trying to put everything past her and just start over. And people were not having it. So now they've broken her. She's a broken doll. They've

15:08 broken her her neck things. So her head is tilted down the whole time, just kind of bobbing, you know? They've broken They've literally broken me.

15:17 Yeah. Um, this is this is such a great Meredith Marks episode. I mean, this is Meredith Marks having a pity party is one of my favorite versions of her. I think we talk a lot about Meredith Marks getting angry and yelling at someone, but like her this entire episode is she's so funny. Every single thing she does and the way she is so melodramatic, it really brought a smile to my face.

15:43 Yeah. Um, so then we go to Brmwin and an and they're talking about donkeys and of course Angie's already done this. Okay, Sean and Electra and I rode them last time we were here. It was so fun. You're going to love it. And so, you know, now we get the activity time and Lisa's late so they start leaving her, but she's coming and she's like, "What are you going to have me like walk alone on the streets of Grace? Come on, you guys.

16:13 Which she's already done in the last episode. So, we know she'd be fine. I would be fine with Alisa solo on a donkey episode.

16:20 Really? Oh my god. She was just like, where are we going? I'm like on a donkey. Like literally like where's this donkey going? So then they um they get into this sprinter van. By the way, I want I want to point out the sprinter van. I think this such a cool sprinter van. It's got like these tan seats with interesting stitching on it and they face each other. They got a little table. I really enjoy it. Just an observation, Ronnie. That's all.

16:44 The Sprinter van. Yeah. I just want to give like a little Sprinter van review. You know, we're so used to the standard Sprinter van setup. I um I enjoyed this one. So, they get in

16:53 I think it's difficult having that kind of Sprinter van because if you have more people than are supposed to fit in the van, you know how sometimes you can just fit more people like if you get an Uber large or whatever and you're trying to get like 10 people in instead of eight, you can always slide over on the seats. But this one is like individual seats and they're like, "No, you will not get more seats." So, I felt like the Sprinter van was like, "No, Ronnie and his drunk friends in Palm Springs. You'll have to get two of me." And so, I was like, "Fuck off, Sprinter van." But I do appreciate the nice individual, you know? I mean, it depends on who's there trying to slide in next to you, I guess.

17:28 I I just I gave it points for looking a little different from our standard Sprinter van. You know, this is the Sanini Sprinter van. Um, which is funny because I can't really sprint that fast. It is Greek. So, they get in and of course

17:40 this cast does its best work in a sprinter van. So, they get in and Lisa is pointing everyone's like, "So, you're going cooking, cooking, cooking, cooking donkey cooking donkey cooking." And Heather's like, "Meredith, how do you feel about the groups? How do you feel about this arrangement? Do you want to get mad? Should we talk about it? Do you want to talk about your friend where I don't even know where we stand?" And Marath is like, "Well, about the groups of who I'm going with, I am not feeling very positive, which is why I'm going to look into the seat belt to the side of me and just stare into it stitching and hopefully find some solace there." Well, it is in hopes of positive outcomes. I mean, if you guys all Where's that tension in the group? If you gather and you make amends, then the rest of the trip won't be the rest of the trip can be fun if you make amends.

18:26 And so she's like, "Wow." You know, um, I'm doing her a favor because donkeys are very sensitive. They could kick her off. I would at the same time I feel like we are robbed of seeing Meredith Marks on a donkey. I feel like it would be like a countless Lan on the camel moment. So because she does Bray as well, you know?

18:50 She's like a Yes. So I think it would be funny watching her bray on a breayer. I think that would be fine.

18:56 Yeah. Well, ever since the plane, it's clear that how I speak is not okay. No one wants to hear what I have to say. I've been told not to speak. I have been challenged on whether or not I've seen the rest of Crazy Rich Asians. And I've explained I fell asleep. I wasn't even aware that there was Maong in it. But I've been told that the way I speak isn't good enough. And apparently I'm too educated and I speak too eloquently. And I guess I'm just like the wrong one here. I mean,

19:21 so I was laughing at that. Apparently, I'm too educated and speak too eloquently to even have a discussion with you.

19:30 Yeah. Like they they never said that. But I love No one ever I love that that's how it is in her head. Like you were just too intelligent, Meredith. Please stop being so eloquent. How are we supposed to fight with this?

19:43 Well, it has nothing to do with your education. I too am educated. It had to do with the fact that you're being pretentious and not connecting with me as a friend. You were dictating to me. You were like teaching me. It was condescending. And I did imitate you because it was [ __ ] frustrating. And it's not my job to get you to be a friend to me. It's a sisterhood.

20:05 Oh god. So she gets a phone call. It's like uh mom. Mom. Her ring is just Brooks saying, "Mom, mama. Mama." Oh, Brooks's first word. So she gets on the phone in her mommy [clears throat] voice. She's like, "Um, hi. Hi mommy. Hi. Hi mommy. They're And Britney's like, "She's taking a phone call. I can't believe this." Yes, honey. I did mash up some some sweet potatoes and left them in the fridge for you, honey. I miss you, too, honey. I wish I was there to feed you myself. And then she's just like, you know, she's like, "Hi, honey. How are you?

20:45 It's my son wishing me a happy Mother's Day. I'm sure you can all understand. Hey, honey. Did you put the little ring on top of the big ring on top of the bigger ring? Oh, I'm so proud.

20:57 So, the producer is asking Heather, well, she picked up a call in the middle of your argument. I mean, wow. What do you think of that, Heather? She's like, um, hold on. My daughter has called as well. Sweetie, sweetie, I know you're 22, but you must have um you just have to smooth the dollar out before you put it into the machine. Okay. Oh, you too, darling. Happy Mother's Day to you, too. I'm sorry. Was that bothering you? Was that bothering you?

21:25 Yeah, except the thing is that your version of it, Ronnie, somehow was a fraction of the length as Heather's version. This thing went on for so long. Listen, as someone who kills jokes regularly every single day, who takes them too far, too long, and kills many of dead horses. Even I'm saying, "Whoa, Heather, this this was going on too." This was like, "Come on, let's let's

21:42 I was trying to do the audience a favor." Okay, it went I was like, "Is this still going? has her little is her little bit still going. Okay.

21:51 And it's really funny because she gets of course supremely offended that Meredith takes this call. But I read Heather's first book. And um in that book, she's complimenting Meredith um on one of her traits being that no matter what is happening, she doesn't care if she's in the middle of a meeting. She doesn't care if she's in the middle of dinner with friends. Wherever she is, if the kids call, Meredith answers on the first ring. And that was something I just remember always thinking was so funny because when we first met her, well, when I first met her, um, a couple years ago, that's what she did.

22:24 It was like we were talking, it was like three people talking and she's like, uhhuh. And here's, well, here's how I feel about it. Oh, hold on, Roxy. Hi. Hi, honey. She just picks it up right there and talks. So, they all know that she does this and it's Mother's Day. So now they're going to make this the biggest deal and be like, "I can't believe you are taking a phone call after we just tried to start a fight with you over the same thing we've been fighting about for six weeks. How dare you ma'am?"

22:51 So then Meredith does the next great thing, which is that she then litigates this whole matter in front of Brooks. She goes, "Well, honey, I love you, but I'm getting yelled at to hang up the phone on Mother's Day, which is today, and I am a mother and you are a child, and this is me fulfilling my Mother's Day duty." Sure, sure. I mean, instead of us talking, I guess I just have to hang up on my toddler. Thanks a lot, ladies.

23:16 So, she hangs up and everyone's super awkward because now Meredith is going to be the biggest victim in the world about it. So, she's like, "Well, I want to be with my family and I don't want to be here right now." And that's how I feel. She does this movement [clears throat] a lot where she puts her hand flat out and then she like puts her fingers back in like she's saying, "Come back. come back. And that's my favorite Merida thing. She gets mad. She's like, she's like, "Well, I'm very upset right now and I'd like to talk to my family."

23:47 No, I've never noticed that. But that's totally right. She's like, "Oh, look at this. The finger is coming back. I'm trying to bring Brooksie back on the phone. Fortunately, I'm not able to."

23:58 And so, when she says she just wants to talk to her children, then uh He Heather and Britney are rolling their eyes. And Lisa's like, "Well, I'm happy in Greece just saying like, "Love you, Jack and Henry. Bye." So Martha's like, "It's very normal to take a phone call." And I just wanted a couple of minutes to hear a happy Mother's Day from my son because it was the only opportunity I'd have to speak to him in the next 24 hours. And then after that, who knows what might happen. But that's fine. It's just Mother's Day and I'm just a mother both, you know, literally and figuratively. I do have a lot of people saying mother to me. So, I don't know. I'm not getting more phone calls from more gay people, but that's okay, too. I guess I wouldn't be allowed to speak to them either.

24:40 Is Mother's Day a separate holiday? Look, I'm upset because I felt like I got rigged over the coals and I felt like all of my track record was thrown out the window and it totally crushed me and then you never could even like deeply apologize or see that it hurt me. You talked your way out of it. You made it seem like it was quidd proquo, which doesn't even make sense here when it absolutely wasn't. And that's okay. We all [ __ ] up. I will maybe step outside my comfort zone and say I [ __ ] up. I'm sorry. And I love you. I love you. And I do not want to put our friendship at risk, but I did not get that from you.

25:19 And it makes me question when the next morning I wake up and I'm still in trouble. Still getting cold shouldered. Like I'm in trouble for you not being okay. And I'm not okay. You are okay. What are you talking about? You started this fight and you did it again last night. I don't know what in the world she's talking about that she's so victimized. That fight on the plane had nothing to do with you and you didn't even step in to help the girl who was supposedly so abused and you said you fell asleep three times. So, I'm not really sure how you're victimized, but Heather's whole like, "Oh, I'm the one who's hurt and you won't even apologize to me. What are you talking about?" Now, we've gotten to the point where Heather deserves an apology because Meredith called her a liar. That is I can't. So, Meredith is like, "Well, I am so sorry and I don't know what to say." Oh,

26:12 yeah. I love I love this that I love Meredith Marks doing the very serious monotone um insincere apology. Well, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say to that. I'm sorry.

26:25 But then is it just me you have tension with? I mean, it's Heather and Britney, too. Girls, you want to fight with Meredith now? I've already taken my turn. And Lisa's like, "Okay, you know what? Let's just talk about the real issue." Okay, Whitney, her feelings are hurt because like she's basically I want to hear from Meridan.

26:42 I want because you're piping in on Heather's fight right now as you always do. But you're doing it again. This is what I say happens every time. She goes gray rock and you pick it up and you speak for her. What? I didn't pick up a rock. No, I'm just saying like what you mean? Because this this is why we're gray rocking because nobody says what they mean. That's all I am doing. It's Mother's Day and I had to hang up on Brookie. That's it. But why do you feel like I'm always after you, Meredith?

27:14 I don't know. I don't know, Whitney. Why would that be? She's just like, you are Whitney. That's why. She's nuh-uh. You can't you can't say that I am cuz I'm not.

27:25 You're spreading rumors that I have mental health or substance abuse issues and I'm not interested in your opinions anymore.

27:32 Well, it seems like you are though. And uh Heather's like, "Meredith, don't be an ice queen. Like, feel with your heart what your friend is saying to you." Um maybe fill with your heart that she doesn't like being accused of having substance abuse issues. That's what she just said. Why is that not dead enough for you? She has to be crying. Like they say, say what you feel. She says what she feels. And then she They're like, "No, you have to be crying while you say it." What do you people want? What do you want? You're breaking Meredith.

28:03 Yeah. She's like, "Well, she's projecting lies onto me and I'm not interested in the lies." There, you said it. Yeah. When he's like, "I'm not projecting lies onto her. What am I a film projector and the movie is lies?" Ha. And Britney's like, "But that's her experience." Oh, who cares? I'm so sick of this. Like, but that's my experience. Your experience is wrong and you're telling it wrong. Okay? Like, you don't get to lie and then just be like, "Oh, it's my experience." So, that's the true opinion. No, your experience your your your experience sucks there. That's my argument.

28:37 So, um Lisa's like, "Well, okay." Because there's more silence cuz Whitney goes, "Can you just please help me understand why you feel that way?" And Lisa says, "Cuz you called her a pill popper." Okay. And you said she's a cheater. I mean, duh. It's like, but I want to hear from Meredith. I want to hear from Meredith. Lisa, this is so unfair for me.

29:00 Well, I'm sure you do want to hear from me, Whitney. And I'm sorry that you feel that way. That's all I can give you.

29:07 But she just said that you called her. You were accusing her of having substance abuse. She already said it. She said a full sentence and she said why she's mad at you. Why do you need her to say it 10 more times?

29:18 Yeah. So then uh they arrive um they drop off all the people who are going to the cooking class which of course is Heather and Whitney and Meredith among and then and Britney. And then Meredith Meredith just like walks off cuz the rest of them go to the cooking class. Meredith is like I'm going to walk in this direction until I get to wherever I need to get to and that's what I'll do. So the rest of them go meet Giovani, their cooking instructor. And while they while they're all getting situated, we keep cutting back and forth to like the happiness of like, "Oh, welcome, welcome to the cooking glass." And then Meredith being like cluck cluck. And she like sniffles her way down the streets of Santorin

29:56 trying to figure out cobblestones in her heels. She's like, "All right, well, this is not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm really feeling that right now." And um Heather, you know, gets there with her overexaggeration with Giovani. She's like, "What? Giovani? Your name is Giovani. This is crazy. We're going to cook everybody with Giovani. He's Greek. Giovani. He's like Zeus. I mean, he's like, he's not the Greek god I imagine, but he will definitely do. It's like, okay, our friend Angie is Greek and her family's from Cree. And he's like, oh, really? Well, we have a lot to talk about later. She's going to be joining us later. And hopefully Meredith will have joined. Maybe she went off to ride the donkeys. Yeah, donkey riding in a mini skirt would be itchy. Ha. Then we cut to Meredith. Cl Happy Mother's Day.

30:53 Happy Mother's Day. And this little yellow car stops. Uh, and I thought the little yellow car was going to pick her up and she was going to get in it. And I was really hoping for that, but she didn't. It just kept passing her. I was like, "Get out of the road. Get out of the road, [ __ ] Like, well, at least somebody said mother to me today. So, over the donkeys, they're they're arriving. They're talking to like the donkey donkey owners. And Lisa is like, "Oh my god. Hi. Nice to meet you. How are you? Are the donkeys nice?" Like, "Yes, but of course." Do they bite? Yes, of course they bite. Yes, of course.

31:31 And then finally, Angie's like, "It translates cuz he has no idea what she's saying. He just doesn't translate. Lisa keeps going, "Tell him, but I don't think he understands." Angie, ask him if it bites. And Angie goes, "Does it bite?" And he's like, "No. Yes, of course." And she goes, "No, bite." "Yes, of course." "Bite." "Yes, of course." I was like, "Angie, it's not Greek to just keep saying the same English word over and over to the Greek person." And she's like, "I know. My five words of Greek do not cover this situation."

31:59 I just love that when Lisa asked, "Does it bite?" He's so happy. Like, yes, of course. It's like you you came here to get bitten, right? That's like part of the appeal.

32:08 The customer is always right. You just say yes to anything. So Lisa's like, "Is this a boy or a girl? I I don't even know. I don't I won't I won't ride a boy." And uh he's like, "They're both girls." And she says, "Yeah, I've never been on a donkey before. She looks like a snippy little [ __ ] but she's beautiful." And he goes, "Oh, thank you. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, too." She like, "Oh my god, thank you." The donkey's like, "Uh, one moment. I'm getting a phone call from my toddler." Hi. Oh, I guess I'm sorry. I guess I have to do a donkey ride now, but it's the only time I can speak to my child.

32:41 That's okay. It's hard not to look cute when you're standing next to an ass. So, they start riding and Lisa says, "What do you call a donkey that has a degree?" A smartass. Okay. What do you call a donkey that has a degree and keeps lifting up its shirt at parties because they're male- centered? A good time smartass. Yeah. Yeah. I love how Lisa brings out all her good material for the donkeys. She's like, "Yeah."

33:12 What do you call This is the happiest we've seen Lisa all season is with the donkeys.

33:15 What do you call it when when you're in a car and you're about to like go into a different lane and then the donkey puts its hoof on the wheel and it's like, "Stop it." It's called driver assass. Got it guys. Driver assass.

33:31 That is a good one. When my dad lived in his village, this was the transportation that they had. They didn't even have cars. This is how they got around on donkeys. Uber Eats took a long time back then. And he would pack the mule with groceries and walk it 17 miles down a mountain when he was 10. So that's what I wanted to bring the ladies to. Listen, that's great. I do not want to experience this. You know what I mean?

33:58 Like, I'm glad I'm sad that your dad went through that, but can we go to Disneyland now? Seriously,

34:05 I would love it if like Louis was just like lying to Angie all these times. Like when Angie was like a little girl and she wasn't doing her chores that he was like, "You do your chores. You know, when I was your age, I walked 17 miles with a donkey with groceries on its back." And it's like totally like a lie just to get her to do her like do the dishes.

34:20 Yeah. Uh, when Auntie refused to get milk on the way home from school, he's like, "Oh, really? Hard for you. Try 17 bars on a donkey up a canyon.

34:30 Oh, you can't pick up the milk. Oh, I thought you picked up the milk." I did every single day with donkey on its back. 17 miles. 17 miles. And you know, it was like three blocks, but he's like 17 miles. This is important to me because for me it is much deeper because it is a glimpse of my dad's childhood. And I picture this 10-year-old little boy and how grateful he was just to have a donkey while we drive Porsches and Range Rovers. We're so blessed. We're so blessed with our lives. I love um it's like a peep show. It's like a peep show when they have a moment of introspection and gratitude. like the the the thing comes up and you see the gratitude and then the shield comes all the way back down again. They just go back to being materialistic and self-centered. They're like, "Wow, that was a that's real." Wow. Can you imagine?

35:19 We take for granted that we drive these Porsches. Anyway, let's get back to let's get going into our poverty. It's like, wow. Remember a time when people didn't have iPhones? Look at the poor people. Take a picture. Okay, let's go back to the resort.

35:35 Yeah, let's go back. Um, then Mary is on her donkey and she's like, "Um, is anyone else not enjoying this besides me?" She's like, "Why are we on a donkey? Why?

35:44 Why don't you like it, Mary? Why? Why, Mary?" And she's like, "Well, I just feel bad for this little boy. I mean, like, I'm on his back." It's so nice to hear somebody say that because,

35:54 yeah, these people do not need us on the back. And you remember when the cast of Shaws went on like horses? I think they went horseback riding and I was like, you know what? This cast does not need you all on them. this cast of horses.

36:06 This guest of this cast, it was a crossover event. You're abusing the horses at this point. Okay.

36:13 Yeah. So, 10 courses on camera. They like literally just ate 10 courses and then they got on a horse. You know those horses.

36:22 Mary tells us, "I didn't see Greece coming with riding a donkey. Like, you've got all these beautiful views. You got the water and my outfit's cute. I like you, but I'm on donkey. Like, why did you do this to me?" So, uh, now we go back to the cooking class and this chef Gor comes out. I made him I don't know if it's actually it's pronounced as Gor, but I feel like anyone named anyone who's a chef should just be pronounced Gor instead of George. And Heather is like, "So tell us everything. What are we making today?

36:50 Pray tell what does Zeus from Mount Olympus, what has he brought down for us? Is it ambrosia? Is it wine? Is it grapes? please take us into your land and perhaps bring us back to the council of the gods. Like, okay, ma'am. Okay, we're just making musaka. That's it. It's just musaka.

37:06 He's like, well, it's Greek musaka to be specific. He's like, uh, it's Greek Musaka. Oh, thanks for the specificity. And Heather's like, are you kidding? We got our own little musakas that we get to make. We're making our own musakas. Wow. Wow, girls.

37:23 Like, they know they're all there. Why are you announcing everything like you're a game show host? Just let them make a [ __ ] musaka for Christ's sake, lady.

37:32 Yeah. And so then we hear the cuz here comes Meredith in classic Meredith form. The classic walk off and walk back.

37:42 Yeah. Head tilted hair just kind of swinging in the wind. She's kind of moving it out of her way and her big like I guess I'm here. I had no choice but to go back cuz I'm stranded otherwise. It's not exactly what I want to do. But where else am I going? I can't walk back. Going to make some musaka or as Brooksie likes to call it mom saka. Actually what he says is mom's so cool. Which is sort of like musaka if you think about it. So Giovani is like mom.

38:16 OH MY NAME IS GIOANI. Georgia hers is here beautiful lady come please join the beautiful cooking lesson and she's like wow lovely thank you for welcoming me

38:29 hush tones hush tones mode has been activated thank you very much for inviting thank you I appreciate

38:35 you for inviting me and welcoming me do this does this msaka need to be seasoned with the salt of my tears cuz I'll be over here crying in the corner [gasps] Okay. Well, yamas, yamas. So, they all do it and uh they drink and Meredith doesn't. She's like, "Well, I'm glad they can enjoy their wine while their friend is living in misery as their baby toddler doesn't get to speak to." So, now they cook and um you know, Heather's still freaking out that she's making musaka in a little terrain. So, Giovani, this guy's actually so nice. He sees that one of the people at the table is clearly upset. So he sort of goes over to her and he's like, "What is happening? Are you okay?" She I'm okay. Thank you very much. You're very gracious. Can I help you? Honest honestly, how can I help you? You're very kind. But unfortunately, some of the women haven't been so kind and I'm sad and I miss my son on Mother's Day

39:33 and I I won't get to talk to him. It's just it's very very sad. Thank you. Well, the wine makes us so happy, which is hilarious. Um you're telling a table of women that wine makes you happy. you're telling a table of mothers that wine makes you so happy. Trust me, they know.

39:50 Um, but he's also telling her right after they've been accusing her of being an alcoholic. So, she's like, "Well, it'd be nice to have something that can make me happy without my friends calling me an alcoholic right here on national television." So, will you enjoy your wine, Giovani? Okay. But some of us are not so lucky on Mother's Day. Well, Giovani, or should I say Zeus from up high on Mount Olympus, she's not happy. No, I I'm not happy. Not happy, Giovani. I'm not happy at all. Don't Please don't ask any questions. Why? I'm just not happy. Very sad in the corner.

40:27 It's going to be okay, Meredith. No, it's not going to be okay because Bronx is on a flight and I will not speak to him on Mother's Day. It is a 37hour flight someplace where he will never be able to speak to me again and that was my only chance to talk to him and and I'm sad and then that's the one thing that's very important to me and I'm hurt and I'm very sad. He's circumnavigating the globe in a plane is trying to set a world record for most hours that a toddler has been around the moon and or around the earth and I will not get to talk to him before his monumental flight. I'm just I'm very sad and I think I'm allowed to be sad for Brooksie.

41:06 By the way, Brookie is the one Brookie is the one who booked a flight on Mother's Day. Brookie is the one who who is at fault here. Brooksie should be waiting there until he does not get on a plane until he has a good conversation with his mother.

41:18 I rescheduled my flight so I could say, "Hey, Mom. Sup?" That's all I needed. Beautiful. That was

41:29 And then Britney has the nerve to go, "Well, I didn't get to talk to my kids for 3 years. Um, you abandoned yours, so please, please stop. You're lucky they even let you talk about Mother's Day on this show cuz you should be banned."

41:42 Yeah, it doesn't really work that way. Uh, Marath, well, of course it's all about you. Okay, wonderful. Well, at least you have a daughter who can call you, but my son is now he's trapped in the sky and now I will not be able to talk to him. So, thank you very much.

41:54 Yeah. So, Britney's mad and she's like, really? I mean, she can't even feain happiness for a sweet host. I mean, like, he's working his little heart out. I mean, it just feels like Meredith is using this not being able to talk to Brooks thing as a deflection to not have to answer hard questions. She's answered the questions. Here's what's happening. You guys won't stop. And now she's going to make you pay for it for the rest of the episode. Is it fun for me personally? Yes. Uh, is it fun for the group? No. But you guys, you guys sewed it. Reap it. Reap it, suckers. you guys sewed it. So Whitney's like, "I'm sorry you missed the opportunity." So now over by the donkeys, Lisa is like, "I wonder how cooking's going. I I wonder if they're able to make as many funny jokes about asses the way I have. Cuz asses are like, "Hey, you know what I said to the my accountant? I said, hey, you you could you're like a donkey that's in a

42:47 chair. You're dealing with assets. Get it?" H. [groaning] [snorts] Um, and Brahma's like, I can't imagine it's going well. Well, you know what? I feel like these little things become exacerbated. Like, you know what? There's situations that can be resolved in conversation. You know what? All you need to do is get like some some poster boards and just like write stuff on them and put them in front of people's faces because people here can't read poster boards. That's how to solve a fight, you know? But it can be overwhelming if you're in it.

43:22 Yeah. Well, um the thing is is in a friendship you have to be comfortable with being fallible. Sort of like how when Heather asked me if um Todd made out with someone and farted, I was like I don't want to talk about this. It's like that's what I'm talking about. Being comfortable being fallible and like

43:37 Yeah, just be fable, you know? Or or call everybody a liar and say that you never said that in the first place. That would be fun. That's a good one to do.

43:46 Or just tell them that it's sealed. Just say the case is sealed. Mhm. That's how [clears throat] to do it.

43:50 Yeah. Just being infallible. And as people, we make mistakes. Sometimes we take the cherry off the person we loves banana split before they're ready to have the cherry. And if someone, if you want to have deep friendship with someone, you just have to let them see the parts that aren't good. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. And as hard as it is, she also has to own what she said and not just wait for you to come to her rescue and you and talk her way out of it for her because you have been helping her. And maybe you should step back so she has to find a voice.

44:21 Yeah, it's just like so hard for me to step back. It's like really hard just mainly cuz like my heels don't like support that kind of movement. And Angie's like, "But she wants you to keep doing that for her and she so she doesn't have to do it." Mhm. Mhm. And that's the thing. Meredith and Heather have to figure it out for themselves. If they're going to have a relationship, you can't figure it out for them. Mhm.

44:41 Yeah. Well, I hear what they're saying, but like it's going in one ear and not the other ear. Because I'm like a real loyal friend. I'm never going to stop defending, you know, that that that [ __ ] who poses like the poses that poses with her family of posers. I'm never going to stop defending her.

44:59 She's like the biggest [ __ ] in New York. I love her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. slept with half of Manhattan. Yeah. Well, um, yeah, she's like she's like a great I'm like a great friend to her and she's like a great friend to me. Mary's like, "I don't know. Something's off with Meredith. I'm feeling something is off."

45:17 Uh, so, um, now the donkey ride girl, the donkey riding girls go to the cooking class and Heather's like, "Oh my god, it's the girls from the donkey ride. Can you believe it, everybody? They smell like donkey. They trek from high and low across lands of plenty. Through sun, through rain, and they have made it here to greet us with their friendship.

45:43 Oh my god. You know what? I love donkey riding so much. I love my donkey. I loved it. I have five now.

45:52 Yeah. Well, I thought we had fun, but you guys came back at twice as much energy as us. Did they feed you guys Musaka, too? Well, they're out lapping us on the front fun department. And Mary's like, "So, did you guys talk? I mean, you didn't get anywhere. You didn't talk." And Heather's like, "Well, Meredith expressed that she was express upset about Mother's Day. You want to talk about that part, Meredith? So talkative today. Why don't you talk about it, Meredith?" Well, just that I'm not going to get to talk to my son and just made me sad. I'm going to shrug to show how sad I am cuz it's been a bit of a rough day. It would have been nice for me to talk to Brooksie, but I didn't get to. I love that. By the way, Khloe's like not a factor here. It's like or Noror's Reed.

46:36 It's like, well, you know, you could you can still speak to Khloe and Reed. Not as good as Brooksie. He's like really the most fun on the phone. Like, I just if I'm not talking to Brooksie, why even bother with the other two? I mean, they're all slicing a lemon together anyway.

46:49 Yeah. J goes, "Oh, you're sad about your children. Well, join the club, Meredith.

46:55 You're not in that club. you're so happy to not be around the kids you say. Yeah.

46:59 So she's like, "But you're not that true. What you're really upset about is all of it." She goes, "Well, of course I am. And that's what I was telling you, Heather."

47:08 Yeah. Well, when it comes to your emotions, I think it really has nothing to do with Mother's Day. And it has to do with like our feelings and our relationships and our friendships. Well, am I allowed to just be like upset for like five minutes? Okay. I tried to walk away and it was very difficult cobblestone street so I had to come back here and cry. But you don't get to use that as a detour when we're so we're all begging you to be a part of the group again Meredith and I'm here. I'm just showing up for my girl and having a great time because we knew we were going to be in Greece on Mother's Day. We all chose to be here.

47:43 And Brain's like it's not a surprise that it's Mother's Day. Okay, we knew we'd be here. Okay, they even arranged for us to be able to give someone a bob just us so we could feel like mothers again.

47:52 You know what? I'm gonna say this on Bravo again because not enough people are saying ground zero. So, let's just go back to ground zero. Come on, [clears throat] guys.

48:03 Does she know? Is it Why do people keep saying that? Let's go back to Does she know about square one? Is it square one?

48:08 Yes. Let's go back to square one would work better, but ground zero is just not ground zero.

48:14 The place of the destruction, you know. And uh that's Sorry. Go ahead, Ben. No, I was I was supporting you. That just said we don't need to.

48:23 Oh, thanks for the support. You're a real donkey. So, you know what? That's where Whitney and Meredith are not getting along cuz Whitney feels like one way and then Meredith feels another way. That's just it.

48:36 Lisa's hilarious because everything she's now trying to chime in and sound more neutral, but she's just saying generic things. Yeah, guys. Meredith feels one thing and Whitney feels another thing. See, look, I'm very neutral. And so Whitney's like, "What I said about you, Meredith, look at me. What I said about you pill popping and alcoholism is a very slippery slope and it's not appropriate. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I called you those names, Meredith. I'm sorry. Look at me. Look at me."

49:08 Meredith just goes, "Okay, great. Great." She does. She goes, "Okay, great." At the end, I never should have called Meredith those things, but it doesn't take away my concern for my friend. She's like, "Well, I never should have called her an alcoholic and a pill popper, but she is, so whatever."

49:31 She what she should have said was, "I needed to I needed to say something extreme to get your attention." Which is I thought what she was going to say, but instead she's like, "No, I just shouldn't have said it." So, Angie's like, "Oh, there we go. Making headway." Okay. And actually Giovanni goes, "Opay." So they cheer and Angie's like, "Now the man now that's the man you should be looking to get a phone number from." And Heather's like, "How do you know that I don't already? Did you see his Rolex? We've been hooking up. What? What's your version of hooking up? Mine means just hanging out. What? Why would you think that we had sex?"

50:04 Sorry, I was missing for a while, guys. I was [ __ ] around with Giovani. Did I say that? So now they're going to get ready for dinner and they're back in the sprinter van and Lisa's like, "I keep almost falling asleep. Is anyone else tired? Is anybody else tired?" I'm like, "If they were tired, they probably you're probably waking them up again by be like, "Are you tired? Are you tired?" Um, uh, Heather's like, "Nope, not one bit. Just ready to run a [ __ ] marathon." I mean, Whitney's like, "Are you ever going to shower?" Whitney goes, "Yeah, but are you?"

50:39 And he's like, when he's like, I realize I have to apologize to Meredith cuz I've got bigger fish to fry here, which is that Heather smells like fried fish at the moment.

50:48 Yeah. Can we just get Heather shower? I'll put all my fights aside if we can just get Heather to take a shower.

50:54 I shower every day. I do it when you're not in the room. A 10 to two in the shower. That's what I do. I should say a 10 two. 10 two in the shower. What does that even mean? Meredith does a 1012 every time. And she shouts it from the rafters. 1012. I mean, Heather clearly learned some sort of slang because I've never heard this before. 1012. I only know of 67. 67. 67 in Greece. So, what do you think this means? I mean, we find out that number one is pee pee. Number two is poo poo, which we already knew. But do you think 10 is like 10 minutes in the shower?

51:28 I think so. But also, why are you doing a two in the shower? A 10? I think it just means I'm going peep. I'm going poop. that I'm taking a 10-minute shower. Like, oh, maybe they say that cuz they're like, "Okay, guys, we're leaving in in 20 minutes." Okay, well, I'm doing a 1012, so I should be out in time. I guess like

51:47 I kind of like that. A 1012. Yeah, I'm just going to do a I'm just going to pee, poop, shower, and I'll be right back out. Take a quick shower.

51:54 Now, here's a hot take. I won't I won't dwell on this because I know this is not your favorite subject matter, but if you're doing the two, you're kind of doing the one at the same time, right? Why does the one even have to Oh, I see. Never mind. I was thinking the 1012. I'm so stupid. I was thinking like a one minute pee and a two-minute poop, but it's just saying the one. It's confusing because the 10 is referring to time, but the one is refer and the one and the two are referring to the deed. It's all clear in my mind now. Everyone, we can move forward. The national nightmare is over.

52:21 Well, I don't know if that's correct that the 10 means 10 minutes in the shower. I'm just assuming it's that. I don't know.

52:26 Is the 10 just shower? Is that code for shower? Do we have like we have to look up in the shower?

52:32 Yeah. I don't know what it is. Oh, Tenn is actually doing her nails. Yeah, it could be. I mean, who knows? So, um, now they're trying to talk and Heather's like, "So, what is a 1012?" Tell her, Meredith. And she's like, "Pe? It means pee." No, 1012 is a P and a poo. She goes, "Oh, well, I thought about I forgot about the two part. I only do the 101. I don't poop." Everybody is trying

52:58 and Meridith is trying to sleep. She has like her head against the window and she's like her she won't open her eyes. She's like, "Maybe if I just pretend like I'm talking in my sleep, they'll just shut up and leave me alone. Two means poop. Good night." I like that. She was like, "Well, I was sleeping." She like she like jerks her jaw. She does like a Kirsty Kirsty uh what's her name? Not Christy. Ali Ali Sheety

53:21 in the the bus. Um so they talk about this 1012 thing a lot. And Braun was like, "Oh, Angie did the 10 two before we went on the donkey and I had to use the men's room because she was taking so long."

53:34 I did not. I did a 5-second 101 and then your donkey did a big old 10 two and then Mary's like, "He did cuz mine not did one after Bronins and mine had a normal bowel movement." And here's he had diarrhea. And we see like footage of the donkeys pooping on the sidewalk. Oh my god, it's so watery. So, um, then they get home and they they decide to have a pool day, so they're all getting into their swimsuits. Butler brings out flowers. They do have a butler. There you go.

54:02 Oh, you're right. You're right. And they're having fun. And Angie's like, "We have tequila." And Lisa's like, "I'm not drinking that. I only drink my own." It's like, "It's okay, Lisa. You can drink a competitor's tequila when you're on vacation. We will not hold it against you." So, I read that this was um Angie is Angie has a partnership with some other tequila. And so, she she's been trying to show her tequila all season, but they won't show it. They keep they keep cutting it out. And Lisa's like, "Yeah, I'm not going to drink yours. I only drink my own."

54:32 It's very Kathy Hilton for that to happen. So, uh Meredith comes out and she's in like a cute little number. wears like a bathing suit, but it's like a bis it's like it's typical Meredith where we like a bathing suit but also looks like it's she could like have a meeting in it and uh they're like Meredith wait a second and then she take they're like that you're supposed to be wearing a bathing suit and then she's like and then she drops the bottom part and there's bikini bottoms on and she honey

55:02 my f I do love the Meredith Marks vacation pivot because she does this I mean I think season too. There were many vacation episodes where she was screaming at people and then they just wind up in a hot tub just like laughing and joking. She really can do it. She can just turn it all around. She also has more business casual bathing suits than anyone I've ever seen. Like where do you even get those? Like she has like business suit bathing suits. It's so [ __ ] funny that she pulls so many of them out. Uh so now they decide they're going to have fun by doing a doggy paddle race, which I don't think they know what doggy paddling means cuz they were doing the breaststroke. This was not battle.

55:39 I was so Well, it's really Whitney who's doing the breast stroke. I was like, "This is not a doggy paddle at all. Like, you do not know what you're talking about." So, they do it and it's Whitney, Meredith, and Britney, which is shocking because Meredith is with her two sworn enemies of the season. And um now they're all happy that Meredith is happy. And then Meredith also cheats. And they're like, "You cheated." She's like, "I know, but you were going to win." And I got mad. And then she's like, "Fun. Meredith is back."

56:06 Yeah. So, she gets uh flowers from from Broxie, Brox and Chloe. And Lisa's like, "Oh my god, Jay, do you do you usually come here? Do you get any other cuisines other than Greek stuff?" And she's like, "Well, actually, Electra gets sushi." And Heather's like, "Era's rejecting everything Greece, including the food." Does she identify as Greek? Well, right now she identifies mostly as just her horse stuff. I was like, I don't know horse if horse stuff is a nationality, but sure.

56:37 That's like her thing. That's her life. She's a teenager. School friends and then she rides five to six days a week. Or America.

56:44 Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, like school friends. I remember those days. Sneaking miniskirts into your bag. Do you Did you guys ever change at school? I did all the time. I did it all the time. I did. I did twice and I got busted the second time and I wanted to die. When did you have your first kiss? Do you guys remember when you had your first kiss? Heather, tell us. Tala, talas. And Heather's like, "Yes, of course I remember. It was just before with Giovani." What? I mean, we never kissed. Why are you guys saying that?

57:14 Heather. Heather got one of the hottest guys in our school and they dry humped. Wait, you dry humped? What? You are a good time girl. Meanwhile, we just see a close-up of Mary trying to eat a taco and she's like, I don't think the shrimp shrimp is dewormed. [cough]

57:31 I don't know if shrimp's and just keeps eating it. Dewormed. I think sheoo about the poo poo line.

57:39 Yeah, I love how we pick up on these things. We're like, there she is doing the breaststroke in the middle of the doggy paddle race and she's talking about the poo line. So Angie's like, "Speaking of first kisses, Bronwin, have you ever kissed a girl?" And she kiss.

57:54 Yes. Yes. Oh, okay. Okay. How many? Wow. Did you fart when you did it? Did you fart? Did you fart? A handful. Mhm. Mhm. Wow. Did you Did you go do second pa?

58:10 Yeah. I've done more than just girl kiss girls on their pea, guys. Okay. I've done more. Mhm. Wow. Second base. You've done second base.

58:19 Mhm. Well, I've done more than everybody here with a girl. How about that? Are we clear? Can I get Whitney out here, please? Can I get Whitney out here? And Heather's like, I've never kissed a girl. We uh Heather's like, I've never kissed a girl. We have morals. Yeah.

58:34 Uh, can we just roll the clip of the black eye night when Heather and uh, Jen Shaw were like wasted pressing like lifting up their shirts and pressing their boobs against each other and then making out.

58:45 Can we just show that? Yeah. Seriously, your morals. So, uh, Britney comes out and she's like, "Why do you need help?" And, well, Mhm. They're asking me if I've ever kissed a woman and I don't want to be the only person here with anything to share. So, can you sit down and answer some questions? So she's then they they like they kiss and he's like, "How did I know that was coming?" Oh,

59:08 I've been told ever since my first kiss that I'm a great kisser. So Brahmwin be kind of dry there, but if a pet got her excited. [snorts] So none of you guys have kissed a girl. Have you guys ever kissed a very old man who likes their originals? How about that? Like no, no, we haven't. Would you want to? And Britney's like, "No, no, I've kissed hundreds though." Hundreds of women. "No, of men." Oh, you're talking about kissing women. Why are you saying I've kissed hundreds? And as if that Okay, well, whatever. So, Britney says that she's kissed hundreds of men.

59:42 She has to remind you that men find her very, very attractive. That's all she's got.

59:46 Yes. So, she's kissed 367 men. And he says like, "How how do you keep count on your Excel sheet?" She's like, "Yes." So, she's been keeping a little spreadsheet

59:58 men. Is it like kissing sessions or is it individual unique men? 367 is a lot of people.

1:00:05 That's insane to keep a spreadsheet of the men you've kissed since college. Is that Is that also like like friendly kisses where you see someone you haven't seen in a while and you give them a kiss on the cheek or is it like full-on romantic kiss?

1:00:18 It's a lot that's a lot of people. I don't know. But I'm sure it's it's followed up by a lot of phone calls from Britney going, "Are you going to call me? I'm just waiting for you to call. I'm just waiting. So Mary uh Mary is like 300. That's how many people are in in my church. [clears throat] And Heather's like, "Oh my god, what was the first rule you guys broke in your house growing up?" Meredith's like, "All right, story time. Well, I'm not sure that my mother knows this to the day, so I hope my mother never hears this, but my parents went on a huge trip. So, I had an enormous party with all of my friends and we got together and we [ __ ] made out, ate each other, [ __ ] dudes got

1:01:06 lit the fence on fire, broke a dish. We broke the dish. [clears throat] And Britney's like, "Ooh, well, I'm sorry, Mom." And Heather's like, "Jes, bring us the glue. I can't believe this story." Okay. Well, Heather, I'm also like, yes, it is. It is ridiculous. It is hilarious that that's the climax of the story. But Heather's entire thing, her entire shtick is that like she lived a very G-rated existence, and now she's going to make fun of Meredith for doing it. No. No, Heather. No, you be in shock.

1:01:35 And Brainwood's like, "Wow, it only took her 40 years to admit she broke that dish." She'll be like 80 years old saying, "Hey, grandkids, guess what? I did something on a plane once."

1:01:47 That was funny. So, um, M's like, "So, anyone else have any stories?" And she's like, "The Greek nightlife is calling. Should we go change? Get ready. Go out." 1012, everyone. 1012. So, they're all going to like get changed. And Heather's like, "What are we wearing? Are we wear Are we going to the boardroom?" Bikinis, huh? No boardroom. Meredith, do not dare come out in the blazer. Which she does. I love that Meredith was like, "Well, I'm going to do what I'm going to do, which is wear my blazer.

1:02:18 So, they get ready and we see Angie and Mary getting ready and Mary's going to stay in and she's just tired and and jetlagged. So, she's just going to stay in and then uh Bronwin and Lisa are by the commandment chart. And Lisa's like, "I love making these marks. I don't even know why we're doing it. Is this for how many diet Cokes we're ordering for tomorrow?" Um, no. No. By the way, did you put this mark over here? Yeah. That's for Whitney. Like, move it over. Put it on Whitney's. Yeah. So, um, Heather's like, "Wow, Whitney, you look like an Australian pummel or an Austrian pummel thrower. You look like you could do the shot put." And Whitney's like, "Oh, yeah. You better watch your face." And then she throws her gold bag across the room to hit Heather and it misses. And she's like, "That was my Prada bag. Whoops. I broke it."

1:03:06 Um, I don't Is a pummel Oh, a pummel. Oh, well, I'm not even going to ask. I was gonna say, "Is pummel thrower a thing?" I know there's the pummel horse. Anyway,

1:03:13 I thought there was thrower. Maybe she meant shot. I think Yeah, honestly, I can't even make fun of Heather for saying that because the number of times I use the wrong word in the wrong time, you know, I'm I'm just as guilty. So, Heather, you're off the hook with your pummel reference. Um,

1:03:28 it says a pummel thrower isn't a standard term, but likely refers to technique in combat sports or historical martial arts using the pommel for strikes.

1:03:38 So, yeah, I think she just got it confused. Um, yes. I was like, I will choose this moment not to be a typical person on the internet and rake her over the coals for saying pummel instead of shot put. I will let her I'll let her go. You get away with this one, Heather. I got my eye on you. So, uh, they have this funny moment. And then they get into the sprinter van. My favorite sprinter van I'd like to point out again.

1:04:00 Oh, hold on a second. I have to interrupt this podcast cuz I've got some information. The slang terms 101 and 102 are primarily walkietalkie codes used in film production, but in other fields they're used for taking a bathroom break. A 101 refers to a quick or short bathroom break, urination, and a 102 refers to a longer bathroom break, defecation. So, I guess you doesn't have to do with a length of shower or a length of shower.

1:04:29 You just added the shower in there. Yeah, I think it's just 101. 101. Good buddy. We just tried to make them more efficient to be like they're going to do it, but they're going to take a shower. I guess they'd probably hear a production be like, "Okay, everyone, we're going to take a 10-1. We're going to take a 101. 101 everyone. 101." They say 101 on the set.

1:04:47 Well, yeah. So, there you go everybody. You can rest well tonight. Now you know the truth.

1:04:53 As we like to get to the truth truth of certain things. What does 101 mean? What does 102 mean?

1:04:58 Is there such a thing as being a pummel thrower? Okay. Yeah, don't say you don't come here to get educated.

1:05:04 So, they're making fun of Whitney for how she's dressed cuz she looks ridiculous. I think they're trying to call her a Russian hooker.

1:05:10 And Heather's like, "Spet Lana, how do you find America?" And Lisa's like, "Oh my god, you do look like a Svet Lana. You do is this your Eastern European Olympian Spetana?" And this is her handle handler and agent. Yeah. If she gets messy, if she's like shist, you can call her high body count and a drunk. So yeah. So, it turns out that this stupid little jokiness then leads to our next plot point because Britney goes, "Guess what? I trademarked High Body Count." And Angie's like, "You did?" It's like, Lisa's like, "That's not yours. You can't trademark that. I stole it."

1:05:45 And Lisa's like, "Oh my god, I'm asking one of my attorneys, one of my seven attorneys, if we can trade if we can take our trademark. That's crazy. Britany, why would you do that?" Well, I'm the one who took it on the chin, that's why. But I think it's super embarrassing that you would go and you would steal that from me.

1:06:05 Um, that's a little hardcore. That's like, what about me? What about my trademarks?

1:06:09 No, because it's embarrassing that you would take something and someone else said and that you would patent it. That is crazy. I am the person who has not had a w This is the person who has not had a witty line other than ting ting ting in her entire life. And she trademarks my line to try and make money off of my line. She's the sidecar on my car trying to get on my gravy train.

1:06:32 I love Angie's mixed metaphors that she's the side car on my car. Like they're they're they're doing some sort of Back to the Future 3 thing where there's a gravy train and they're on like a little she's like on a motorcycle and Britney's on the side car and they're going to jump on the train, but it's a gravy train. Like like that has nothing to do with the side car. I listen I I have to say I think that like this is definitely Angie's phrase, but like that's on Angie. If she did not trademark that right away as it started to blow up, that's a bit on her. Like she should have been on top of that.

1:07:00 Well, honestly, it's also on the trademark office. They they're not supposed to just be handing out trademarks willy-nilly. Like Angie didn't invent that either. I mean, if Angie went to the trademark office and tried to trademark high body count, she wouldn't be able to she shouldn't be able to trademark that because that's been a term since the 80s. Like why? Like I mean I know that Angie made it popular on this show, but that that term has been around for a long time. Most recently used as we all know in the manosphere.

1:07:27 Um you know like those like red pill guys are always like oh yeah this high body count whatever. I've heard it there too but I mean I used to hear it like the 90s at least like high school. You know I had never heard it before so that's why it was so novel to me and so exciting. But either way like you know I think it's shitty of Britney to do it. Not not the it's not the worst defense in the world because it's definitely it's definitely Angie's thing. But this is not actually if you think about it, this is not unlike Lanne taking Javanni and making it her thing.

1:07:58 But um Oh, it's happened many many times when they on PTOAC when they said, "Oh, what about your husband? We heard he's called Happy Eddie." Like flirting with people

1:08:08 and then they turned Happy Eddie, they trademarked that and turned it into their thing. Or um the dungeon, Candi Sex Dungeon. She made a whole show based on Candi Sex Dungeon. The lie about Candi Sex Dungeon. So

1:08:20 you you got to pounce pounce as soon as possible and in a housewife court of law you'd lose that trademark.

1:08:26 Yep. And also in like real court of law actually. So um Heather's like, "You're not flattered at all by it, Angie." She's like, "Not at all. But were you going to trademark it?" And Britney's like, "Sorry, all fair and love and trademark. Sorry, Angie. Don't be a sore loser." I mean, I don't know why Angie should have gone and trademarked I have an announcement. Like that should be the very first thing to do. You can just trademark random words now. I love it because that's basically what it is. Like I can't believe you could trademark that. It's nuts. That's literally nuts.

1:08:57 They could have a hostage exchange. Yeah. Like I will give you I have an announcement if you give me high body count here.

1:09:02 I'm not that mad. I just think it's kind of embarrassing and weird that you would do that. She like, but I'm just I'm the one that had the hair ratted. She goes, "Oh, so you think people want their hair to look like this? Is that what you're saying? Like they're going to buy your hair product? I mean, come on, Britney." Mhm. Well, what's wrong with my hair? I love my hair. Your hair's gotten better. It's still way too long for your age. No offense. Are you kidding me? She like, "Yeah, when I look at you, it makes me want to cut my hair." Cuz when I see Britney's hair, I'm like, "Oh my god, my hair's almost as long as Britney's." And I just think it looks cheap. I'm not even lying.

1:09:38 You think my hair looks cheap? Yeah, I do. Yeah. It makes me want to cut my hair or take a length off a little bit so I just don't look as awful as you do.

1:09:48 So rude. Uh, so now they arrive at a place called Tango. And we know cuz Heather goes, "Oh my god, we're at Tango. I wonder if they accept cash here." So Lisa's like, you know, in the summer, I feel like this is probably like insane and amazing. Have you been here in the summer? summer, the time when the Greek gods and goddesses come down from Olympus and celebrate with us simple humans and we say, "Please, please take us up to your mount and make us immortal like." It's like, "Okay, Heather, be quiet." Okay, we get it.

1:10:24 Do you want to hear my and Brunin's new business venture? I'm in a good mood tonight. It's me, Meredith Marks, being in a good mood. And they're like, "Sure." And Bronwood's like, "Sure." Well, Meredith asked me if my straw worked, could I drink out of my straw? And I said, "It would be great if I had a flask inside that you could drink out of." And then Meredith said, "Let's trademark it." So, we got a patent. Ting ting ting. We have an announce. We don't have an announcement because it's see it's a secret flask that goes inside your drink.

1:10:57 And they're like, "Oh." Cuz actually it's that Brain has a has like a little purse or a bag that looks like a drink, but it's not a drink. So, it has a fake straw. But she's saying, "No, we we are going to patent that. There's a real drink in there.

1:11:10 Oh, I'm glad you said that because I thought they were coming up with a flask that's small enough that you put in a glass that

1:11:17 a club within a club. Yeah. And I was like, why don't you just pour it into the glass? I thought it was weird. I mean, I knew it wasn't serious, so I wasn't trying to take it so seriously, but now I see. I see what you mean.

1:11:26 Although that is kind of too like you have a Diet Coke, but what people don't realize is that you put a flask of whiskey in there. Although, you could just pour whiskey into Diet.

1:11:35 Yeah, that's what I'm Yeah. Why wouldn't they just pour it out of the flask? But

1:11:39 the idea is that it looks like a bag, but it's not a bag cuz it has a flask in it. And they don't have an announcement because they don't want to announce that they have alcohol in their bag. Yeah. That is so creative. And Brin's like very high body count. Mhm. Cuz Bronwin is going to jump in on any chance to rag on Britney. You know, she's the only person that Brarwin's not afraid of. She's not going to come after the rest of them because she knows they'll get her ass. But she will bully Britney any chance she gets. So she jumps right in there.

1:12:09 But Britney, it is embarrassing that you would do that. That's like Did Serella Whitney's like, "Didn't we have a high body count uh party for her to support her with her hair cuz Whitney and Heather are on they're they're taking Britney's side really in any argument because they're team Britney in the larger war against Meredith right now,

1:12:31 right? They're supporting their pro, you know, they're supporting their partner in the proxy war,

1:12:36 their puppet. And so Angie is like, "Look how like look how Britney's all proud of herself." Like it was like she came up with it when she didn't. She am proud of myself. I think it's fantastic. And she's like, "But what did you do? You have bad hair." And I said it.

1:12:51 All you did was have bad hair. You should have trademarked bad hair. She's like, "Well, I mean, I think that you're strangely jealous of my hair. Herman, look at my hair. And then Angie starts laughing and Meredith is like, "What?" And then Braum just starts cracking up and Britney's like, "Well, maybe your hair doesn't curl easily. I mean, I don't know. No one has any problem with my hair other than you. I'm in my lane. I am in my share lane, babe." It's like, "Well, maybe there's something about me that's threatening.

1:13:18 Like, I literally don't know why you're so obsessed with my hair and like my trademarks, my business moves, all of that. Like, what's the deal?" She's like, "There is no jealousy. I think I've been really nice to you." What are you going to trademark split ends next? What is that? You going to to to trademark scarecrow hair? They already have that. Like, well, you've been nicer. Except for in the van on our way over here. Yeah. I think it's like really weird that like you trade someone else's line, Britney. That's like really weird. Yeah.

1:13:45 Well, it's not someone else's trademark, but it is my line. Oh, so just because you thought of the same thing, I'm supposed to give up my trademark to you? Hell no. No, she thought of she said the line. She didn't think of the same thing as you. You didn't think of it.

1:14:00 You didn't think of it. It wasn't You don't think of your own insults against you. And Braum was like, "She didn't think of the same thing. She said it first about me." But you didn't think of it. Here's the thing. Mhm. You had some crazy ass hair. She made fun of it. She said it. And Heather's like, "Angie did not invent high body count hair. She said it in a funny way,

1:14:18 but she made it famous." Mhm. Okay. She made it famous. So if somebody said you look like a [ __ ] then what? Then what?

1:14:28 Do you own the word [ __ ] Do you own the word [ __ ] now? So the brain are cracking.

1:14:35 Well, I was smart enough to do it first, so Oh god. Well, and Auntie goes, "Oh, so now I wasn't smart enough. You sound like a fool, Britney." And she's like, uh, Winnie says, "But wait, high body count's supposed to be funny, and I have a high body count outfit on, but low body count hair, and that's what's funny." Whitney explaining the finer nuances of this term. Um, and she's like, "And to sit and attack,

1:15:02 I have a high body count outfit on, but I have bullied person hair." Trademark that.

1:15:10 Trademark. I'm trademarking chocolate syrup on Justin and to sit and attack and over over about how someone looks. It's just like like I know Meredith doesn't like it when it happens to her. I don't like it when it happens to me. And Brain's like, I didn't say anything about her hair or her bronzer. Don't lump everybody in on this. Meredith and I didn't say anything about her looks. Neither of us said anything. Don't make this a group conversation. Don't even try.

1:15:33 I don't like that. I don't like thatm I don't like that. I was generally bullying her. Okay. I was not looks bullying her. It was just general giggling.

1:15:44 So, she can dish it out to everyone else, but she can't take it cuz she does. And there's a reason why everyone chimes in. But look around us. Look right now. We're in Palestine. No, we're not. We are in G. We are in Greece and we're supposed to be out having fun. And instead, we're hoper hyperfocused on trademarks and hair when we're in California. We're in Greece.

1:16:10 We're in Greece. How could you see somebody like this when we're in Europa? Look at this.

1:16:19 Look at the view of the Bay of Tokyo. And you're going to fight about hair. And Angie's like, "Okay, then let's be done with it." Shockingly, they actually stop fighting. I was like, "Oh, we're heading towards a big to be continued. Instead, they just cheers." And happy Mother's Day. And Britney says, "I'm trademarking that.

1:16:42 Whitney coming in to save the day on the bullying charges. You got to love it. Whitney alcoholic pill popper. Stop bullying somebody about hair.

1:16:53 Great hilarious episode. Um and then Salt Lake City is off for a few weeks. At first it was three weeks and then I guess you saw saw something that's gonna be it's going to be off for two weeks. But either way it's going to be off next week for us.

1:17:05 For us it's going to be off for three weeks. Yes, it'll be off for three weeks, which is tragic. Um, but uh just for anyone who is interested in just general programming notes, that's the news for that. Thanks. Thanks everyone for listening. What a fun show. What a fun, wonderful way to spend a Wednesday talking.

1:17:21 Yeah. Love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "RHOSLC S614 Trick of the Trademark"?

In order: 0:00 Mother's Day, Ray Whitney, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Alison Roman; 10:00 Ray Whitney, Meredith Marks, Ronnie, Mother's Day; 20:00 Mother's Day, Ray Whitney, Brooksie, Meredith Marks; 30:00 Nick D. Giovani, Mother's Day, Brooksie; 40:00 Mother's Day, Brooksie, Ray Whitney, Nick D. Giovani; 50:00 Ray Whitney, Nick D. Giovani, Meredith Marks; 1:00:00 Ray Whitney; 1:10:00 Ray Whitney, Meredith Marks, Mother's Day.

What is mentioned in this Watch What Crappens episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ray Whitney, Mother's Day, Angie, Nick D. Giovani, Meredith Marks, Ronnie. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "RHOSLC S614 Trick of the Trademark"?

The episode runs 1 h 17 min; the transcript is about 15,460 words in 230 timestamped sections.

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