Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys

What this episode is about

The discussion centers around skepticism towards current trends like artificial intelligence, food fads (specifically cottage cheese), and wellness treatments such as red light therapy, emphasizing that many popular notions are overly hyped or misleading. Additionally, the hosts address the challenges of adulting, the complexities of social dynamics, and the importance of navigating gossip with humor and authenticity.

Key takeaways

• AI isn't just for men; it's also for those avoiding gossip and cottage cheese in everything.
• Red light therapy claims to reverse wrinkles—Pro tip: It's usually just a red flag for scams.
• In adulthood, no one's got it together—turns out we're all just meticulously winging our way through life.
• Navigating motherhood? Prepare for comedy, chaos, and potentially getting locked out of your own home—twice.
• Time management is a myth when you add kids into the mix; expect the unexpected, like pumping while driving.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Abby Howard (Host) · 42 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Abby Howard, Bible study, Artificial Intelligence, Ashley Tisdale
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Hillary Duff, Ashley Tisdale, Mandy Moore, Megan Trainor
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Abby Howard, Zootopia
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Red light therapy, Amazon
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Cottage cheese, Artificial Intelligence, Red light therapy, VidCon
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Artificial Intelligence

Notable quotes from "Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys"

• Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host Abby Howard and Abby Howard and we're here to share the hope in the heart with heart and.

  about Abby Howard · at 0:42

• Yeah. So, she wrote that article called Breaking Up with My Toxic Mom Group. And I think it's quite ironic because one of the very first things it says is some sometimes I'll say something.

  about Ashley Tisdale · at 9:26

• One, she didn't mention who they were or at all. People were speculating. Then Hillary Duff's husband went on to Instagram and made an Instagram story kind of mocking her post. So for to explain, I'm just going to show and we.

  about Hillary Duff · at 10:58

• The only ones I knew were the ones we mentioned Hillary Duff, Megan Moore, or Mandy Moore, Megan Trainer, and some other people who aren't.

  about Mandy Moore · at 12:21

• Maybe what makes you and what makes me makes we better.

  about Zootopia · at 21:31

• Because I got so many emails from sketchy Amazon companies asking me if I wanted to promote their red light therapy masks.

  about Amazon · at 38:46

• No. I Okay. The first time I learned about Laboo was when Matt and I went to VidCon last year and all these kids had them on their backpack and I was that's cute for kids.

  about VidCon · at 41:19

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Abby Howard — Person · Host · 3 mentions · first at 0:42
  Primary on-mic host of the episode; co-leads the conversation on trends, friendship dynamics, and listener Q&A.
• Ashley Tisdale — Person · Referenced celebrity / author of discussed article · 3 mentions · first at 8:43
  Her article about leaving a 'toxic mom group' is the catalyst for the episode's broader discussion about mom-group dynamics, gossip, and public call-outs.
• Hillary Duff — Person · Referenced celebrity in gossip/news discussion · 4 mentions · first at 8:46
  Central figure in the 'celebrity mom group drama' segment; discussed as a speculated member of Ashley Tisdale's former friend group and tied to the Instagram response via her husband.
• Mandy Moore — Person · Referenced celebrity in gossip/news discussion · 2 mentions · first at 8:48
  Named as a speculated member of the celebrity mom friend group discussed in relation to Ashley Tisdale's article.
• Megan Trainor — Person · Referenced celebrity in gossip/news discussion · 2 mentions · first at 8:50
  Named as a speculated member of the celebrity mom friend group; mentioned as part of why the story became a 'hot topic.'
  The only ones I knew were the ones we mentioned Hillary Duff, Megan Moore, or Mandy Moore, Megan Trainer, and some other people who aren't.
• Gabby Dawkins — Person · Referenced influencer/creator in gossip/news discussion · 1 mention · first at 12:50
  Mentioned as a likely non-celebrity member of the speculated mom group; identified as 'Cooking with Gabby' in the conversation.
  Yeah, Cooking with Gabby, I think is her account.

Companies & orgs

• Amazon — Company · Service mention · 3 mentions · first at 6:01
  Mentioned as a platform where party decorations were purchased.

Products & tech

• Red light therapy — Product · Trend discussion · 4 mentions · first at 0:14
  Discussed as a skincare trend with skepticism about its effectiveness.
  Red light therapy. Reverse your wrinkles. I do not think so. You've been scammed.
• Cottage cheese — Product · Trend discussion · 5 mentions · first at 0:06
  Mentioned as a food trend that is being incorporated into various dishes, with mixed opinions.
  Don't fall for it. Quit putting your cottage cheese in everything.

Concepts & topics

• Artificial Intelligence — Concept · Core topic · 3 mentions · first at 0:00
  Discussed as a controversial technology with concerns about its use and boundaries.
  I haven't used it actually a lot of times because I'm so avidly against it.

Places & events

• Bible study — Event · Personal activity · 2 mentions · first at 1:04
  Mentioned as part of the host's routine and personal challenges.
  Okay, I faith. I know I have to be at Bible study at 9:30. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my children because I am still being very paranoid about bringing CJ to childcare to get.
• VidCon — Event · Personal experience · 1 mention · first at 41:21
  Mentioned in passing as an event attended where a trend was observed.

Media & podcasts

• Zootopia — Media · Cultural reference · 1 mention · first at 21:27
  Referenced as an example of a story promoting diversity and open-mindedness.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 AI is for men. I haven't used it actually a lot of times because I'm so avidly against it. When Matt gets on it, I'm like, take it in another room. Cottage cheese. I'm not falling for it.

0:09 Don't fall for it. Quit putting your cottage cheese in everything. Red light therapy. Reverse your wrinkles. I do not think so. You've been scammed.

0:20 She wrote the article breaking up with my toxic friend group. This is too high school for me. I'm done participating.

0:24 There's actually no real grown-ups in the world. I know we're all winging it. The biggest trap women can fall into is the trap of like gossip.

0:33 Always here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor. Welcome back to Always Here. I'm your host Abby Howard

0:45 and Abby Howard and we're here to share the hope the hope in the heart with heart and

0:50 humor. Abby, I have to tell you about my day. What happened? I mean, I saw you a lot this morning. This day was just incredibly irresponsible and I just This is like so type B. If you are type A, I'm sorry for the sweats that this might cause you. Okay, I faith. I know I have to be at Bible study at 9:30. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my children because I am still being very paranoid about bringing CJ to childcare to get sick during sick season with Vivian. Maybe too paranoid, some may say, but either way, we're still there. So, I set my alarm for seven. I oversleep it by an hour.

1:26 Okay. Okay. So, it's So, the alarm's just going off for now. I'm sorry. An hour and 15 minutes. It's 8:15 when I wake up. I have to leave the house at nine. So, I'm looking I'm like,

1:34 "Wait, is CJ just still in bed?" Yes. But you know what? I do briefly remember him screaming, "Mama, the lights green."

1:41 Oh. And he just stayed. He just got books and started reading. Wow. Sweet. Yes. But he's kind of he's in this season of being scared. He doesn't want to leave his room. So, he'll just sit in bed.

1:51 I know. So it's not I'm like okay I have 45 minutes to get me CJ Vivian ready nurse the baby feed alone takes 45 minutes breakfast. No literally she nurses for 40 minutes. So then I was like uh okay go start running around. I'm rushing out the door. I am 15 minutes late to dropping the kids off to my parents which means I'm then 15 No I'm 10 minutes late to Bible study.

2:13 Good thing we were walking in at the exact same time. Yes. I was like I feel validated. Honestly I'm okay. Abby and I walk in at the same time.

2:19 Pathetic. So then I get there. I think the study is only going to be an hour long. It's almost I mean it was like an hour and a half.

2:25 Yeah. Um which was great. I loved it. It was I was not sitting there antsy. But then I got out and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I have a lot to get done in the next few minutes before I have to go record." So I'm driving home. I call my mom. I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to go home. I'm going to run because I want to work out

2:41 and then I have to edit a video. Um and then I'm going to pump and then I'm going to run the milk by you because you have both the children." Um, and I'll do all that in an hour and a half. So then, so those are my goals. I get in the car, I call my mom, I'm driving, I realize I'm locked out of the house

2:58 because my parents and I switched cars, so they had the car seats. I have no way to get into the home. So then I call my mom and I'm like, "Hey, I'm actually headed towards you to get the keys." So I drive 20 minutes now. 20 minutes and then 10 minutes home. So now it's 30 minutes instead of 15-minute commute. No, not not as much time. I get there, I get the keys, I go home. Um, I had to go to the bathroom cuz I've been holding all day. I go to the bathroom, say, "I'm going to go for a run." I go to leave my house to go on a run. And I think the one time I'm like, "I'm not going to bring my keys." That I'm going to leave the house unlocked. I never go I never not lock my house up. I never And the one time I'm like, "I'm not going to bring my keys."

3:38 I shut the door immediately. I turn around and go, I locked the keys inside the house. I'm again locked out of my house. So then I call my parents and go, "Hey, mom. I'm locked out again." So my dad has to drive over. I'm like, "Well, I'm just going to run until you get here." I run a mile, 1.62 miles. I'm heaving. I am dying. And I've got such stress, like pent up energy. I'm running so fast. 9 9 minutes and 22 second pace. So fast. And I'm I'm dead. My dad comes, he looks just like disappointed at me. He's like, "Are you all right?" Like, "What's going on with you today?"

4:20 Um, so I do have time. I love your dad, by the way. I worked out with him on Monday. So fun.

4:27 He's so fun. He's always down for the ride. But anyway, I didn't have time to do anything except shower, put makeup on. I pumped in the car, and I ate my salad all while driving him.

4:37 I come up, I walk in, I have one pump on one side and a big old salad bowl in one hand. I'm like, I'm ready to record the podcast. Here we go.

4:45 The best part is she walks in. She's got the pump cord hanging down. Pretzel's running up to greet her. She goes, "Pretzel's going to get my cord."

4:53 She's trying to eat the tubes. She's trying to get the tubing. She will. She'll get it.

4:57 Ambitious. So irresponsible. And hey, I was on time today. You crushed it. You were You were here early before 2 o'clock.

5:06 I was. That was good. That was just I just had to tell you that. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, Abs. This is so funny. I just thought it's funny cuz I was telling you all the plans I had in between and you were like, "That's a lot." We're going to interrupt our episode real quick. Just ask that you guys take 5 seconds to hit that like button, subscribe button, follow button, share button, any button you see. If you wanted to hit it, we'd be very, very grateful. Um, thank you guys for watching the podcast. Now, back to the episode. Okay. Do you want to start us off with hope? Hopes and hearts.

5:35 Yeah, mine are light. I said I was like maybe I'll go a little lighter this week. Um, my hope was I had so much fun at the shower this weekend. That was like really fun to do. I feel like a lot of times for parties I focus on making the food and I have no decorations. So, this time I was like, I'm going to order food and decorate and I honestly kind of like that switch up.

5:56 It was so cute. It was fun. Thanks for helping. Oh my gosh, it was so I walked in and I was blown away.

6:01 Thank you. I got everything from Amazon. It was really fun. Really cute. That was my hope.

6:06 And the the party was so fun. Thanks. Yeah, it was a good shower. I have a couple hopes. Our fireplace is looking awesome.

6:14 I'm excited. Caleb's crushing. I talked about that last week. And um Vivian slept the night for the first time ever.

6:21 It didn't happen again. But it was glorious. That's all you need. Yeah. I woke up just just so spriteful.

6:28 Rejuvenated. Yeah. So, that was really great. That's fun. My heart is just my diet has been terrible. I literally am like I need to cook. I just been eating out so much. And so maybe tonight will be the first night that I make dinner again. I genuinely don't think I've cooked a meal in this entire like I cooked a dinner this entire calendar year.

6:53 It is. Whoa, that's really weird for you. Um I made waffles for dinner one night.

7:01 It's just it's going it's going out the door. I need to get back on the cycle. I need to give. Yeah, once you fall off the wagon of cooking, it's so hard to get back on.

7:08 The wagon is derived. I didn't go to the grocery store all of December. What? It's a shock.

7:13 It was bad. You're just like feeding for scraps at this point. You're like, I'm literally like a rodent.

7:18 Taco Bell again. Oh my gosh. I was thinking about this. You've thrown so many parties. You throw like one to two parties a month.

7:25 Yeah. I was just thinking about that the other day. I'm like, we have so many fun things going on. I'm like, wow. Aby's literally thrown a million parties. Thank him. Three baby showers, a favorite things party, Christmas, Thanksgiving hosting.

7:42 Yeah, I I think that was like our goal like in buying this house. We're like we want to have people over all the time and we have we have done that.

7:50 Yeah. So, oh my gosh, you're very generous with your home. Thank you. So, hopefully I can go to the grocery store and like maybe get some eggs, something get some chicken. Let's just get back on because I feel like like you said once you get off the wagon it's really hard to get back on.

8:08 I actually don't have a hard for this week. Okay. Sorry. I thought I did. But I just feel Yeah. It's been a great smooth week. I shared my heart today. Just being frazzled.

8:18 Frazzled. Frazzled pants lady over here. Yeah. Just crazy. That's frustrating. We have a fun Wow. That's crazy.

8:27 I'm so curious. Wow. That's crazy. Wow. That's fat. Not crazy. Have you heard about the celebrity mom group drama?

8:34 No. Then this is the celebrity. Celebrity. Not mom talk. Celebrity mom group. These are celebrities that we know and love. Ashley Tisdale. Haley Duff.

8:46 I'm sorry. Hillary Duff. Oh, really? Mandy Moore. Megan Tra potentially. Yes. That's why it's why it's become such a hot topic. So, Ashley Tisdale wrote an article for The Cut talking about how she let go of her toxic mom friends and she didn't name names in this article at all. Um, but people are speculating because she was very public about the friend group that she was hanging out with and it included all those people that we just listed.

9:14 Wow. They were very public on social media. They did a lot of things together, playdates, all kinds of stuff. So, it's pretty it's gotten a little nasty. What? Yeah. Addy, do you have more details?

9:26 Yeah. So, she wrote that article called Breaking Up with My Toxic Mom Group. And I think it's quite ironic because one of the very first things it says is um some sometimes I'll say something off-handedly only for it to turn into a headline or start a conversation on TikTok is the second sentence of this article. That's exactly what happened. People took it and ran with it. So she published that that article and

9:53 like what was the tone of the article? Um it was more like trying to liberate women from being in bad friend groups. Okay.

9:59 Yeah. So it says she wrote the article it's called breaking up with my toxic friend group and she wrote that she found this friend group during the pandemic. She felt like she had found her people like she was really really happy with it. And then things kind of started to change. She started to notice there were side chats or side conversations. People were planning things um without her getting invited to it. They were at a kid's birthday one time and they were planning their next thing and not having Ashley in that conversation. Um, and so they were making plans without her. Then she text she ended up texting the mom group and being this is too high school for me.

10:32 I'm done participating. So she was very upfront kind of breaking up with the group. Then she wrote this article and she mentioned one of them was worse than the others in this mom group. People are speculating that's Hillary Duff. Um, but they didn't like her.

10:50 I know. But wait till you hear what her husband did. Yes. So then she wrote this article. It came out in the cut. Then Hillary, no one,

10:59 she didn't mention who they were or at all. People were speculating. Then Hillary Duff's husband went on to Instagram and made an Instagram story kind of mocking her post. So for to explain, I'm just going to show and we can show it on screen too. This is the picture that is in her article. Yeah,

11:18 he I don't think I have the picture of him actually. He just did the same pose on a couch

11:23 and he headlined it and he headlined it and the headline of it said, "When you're one of the self one of the most self-obsessed tonedeaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers."

11:38 Oo, isn't that crazy? I know. I literally like my stomach dropped. Then that blew up. Then Ashley's husband got involved naturally.

11:50 He posted on his Instagram, which honestly he should if someone I would if someone came at me like that, someone's husband and can't get their husband up. I'd be like, "You better get involved.

11:59 Better get step in the ring." So he just reposted a quote from someone else like it's some it was a different post and it said underrated life skill pausing to particip pausing to decide if it's worth my energy.

12:13 Okay. And so that is where where everything's at now with So who's in this supposed friend group?

12:21 The only ones I knew were the ones we mentioned Hillary Duff, Megan Moore, or Mandy Moore, Megan Trainer,

12:28 and some other people who aren't. They're influencers. They're like maybe in that world, but aren't stylist.

12:34 Big celebrity. Oh, the the chef. Um, what's her name? You could look it up. She's a big like

12:42 No, a big cooking creators. Well, that's interesting because I feel like a lot of those people are like very respected women.

12:49 Yes. That's disappointing. Gabby Dawkins, is that her name? Yeah, Cooking with Gabby, I think is her account.

12:53 Oh, yeah. So, I feel like So, now people are writing articles, meet the moms of Ashley Tisdale's former nothing.

13:02 Yeah, it's all speculation and like Ashley's never confirmed anything or any of that. I do think it poses an interesting conversation for us of like mom and friend group drama.

13:13 Yes. And I don't know how you guys feel. I don't feel like I personally get offended when there are side chats or things that I'm not invited to. That's something that I struggled with for a while because I my biggest fear is that people don't feel included. That's something that just like that bugs me so much. But that's just a fact of life. Like there's things where it's like okay this can be a big group and this can be a small group or this isn't personal but because of your schedule this is getting and so that's something I have had to learn to let go but it was hard to like let go of

13:45 and I do fear that sometimes that does step on people's toes but that naturally happens.

13:51 Yeah. Can I just say one thing before we enter this is that I have learned as I am now 27.

13:57 Every year I'm like, "Okay, people are gonna we're going to feel grown up and we're everyone's going to be grown up." And I just realized there's actually no real grown-ups in the world.

14:08 I know we're all winging it. Everyone is. And and the thing is is that no one really necess there's not an age where you mature out of these things. And so sometimes you can find yourself maybe in your 40s and doing the same things that you did in high school. So

14:22 that is something that I'm like, "Oh, that's that was a shocker for me. I was like, maybe once we get out of high school, then this will be over. Maybe once we get out of college, maybe once we all like are in our careers and like have kids, then we'll get over

14:35 Nope. Still never." And I've kind of just reached that point where I'm like, "No one's really grown up."

14:39 Totally. And that's a little sad and scary. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think but also letting go of that does kind of like

14:46 give you some freedom to make adult decisions then. Yeah. So, you can give people grace. You're like, "H, they're just doing the same old same old.

14:52 They're just doing this life for the first time." I feel that like when I when I when Ashley Tisle sent a message, like a breakup text to me. I'm like, I just feel like I if I didn't like a group of friends, I would just kind of phase out. Yeah.

15:05 Yeah. Like like not everything needs to be a big conversation or needs to be stated. And if you don't like people, I'm like, why do we have to create drama and then call people out on things? You're like,

15:14 you can just remove yourself. Especially when you are are such a public person.

15:19 Yes. The implications are too severe to be doing that type of thing. Yes. Yeah.

15:24 But I just feel like when I was younger, I always was like, I have to let them know why I'm leaving or why I don't want to be friends or what they how I feel about this thing. And I feel like part of just me growing up was like, I actually it doesn't matter if they know or not. I'm just going to remove myself. Well, also because a lot of it is personal, too. Like why you're like I think it's not like you don't need to say like you guys are the problem so I'm leaving. I think a lot of it could just be like hey like

15:46 what you're looking for or what I'm looking for in a friendship is different than what maybe you're looking for. That's also something I've learned a lot. Like it's not not necessarily not everything's personal. Like it's just not a good fit. Like you can leave somewhere and just be like yeah

15:58 they're awesome. I'm awesome. We're not the same. We're not awesome together. We're not awesome together. That's fine. And like it's not personal and there doesn't have to be any like

16:07 we don't have to label someone as bad for us to give ourselves permission to leave something.

16:11 Totally. That makes sense. Totally. Yeah. I think the conversation of mom groups is very interesting because I have felt good fits and I have felt like wrong fits and I think you honestly know kind of quickly, right?

16:24 Yeah. I think the hardest What would you say the hardest part of mom groups is I don't want to say like you don't want like it's I you have to be like I don't want to judge other people's parenting. Yeah,

16:34 with their kids because you're with the mom and the kids. So, you see a lot of it up front. It's like I actually see firsthand how you discipline, how you speak to your kid, how you get involved in situations and then I see your kids behavior and so I never want to judge because I'm also like I don't know what I'm doing either. We're all winging it. So, I feel like that's a hard part is like making sure that I'm not I'm not critical and just have like a that's doing it and that's good. We all see how our kids will be in the end.

16:58 We'll see how our kids 18 years from now. A great character. What did you say, Addie?

17:03 For me, especially cuz I feel like our group is like the group that we have com together is very large. Is like you don't have to be best friends with everyone in the group. And you can be like

17:13 I I feel like with our conjoined group of like mom friends, a lot of them I'm friends with. I'm not super deep with a lot of them. I have another group of friends that I'm more deep with and not feeling like I have to do that with every

17:26 person. And so I think it's just been sweet at least for me to join this season and just seeing everyone love on my baby. I've got the good sides of it so far.

17:35 Yeah. I think the most important thing when like starting to find like your group of people that you're going to raise your kids with is because also you're kind of hand selecting your kids' friends at least for the early part of their life

17:48 is to cultivate a healthy environment from the beginning. And I think the biggest trap that women like I will hold like I'm included in this can fall into is the trap of like gossip.

18:00 And that is something that it's like I constantly like and I feel like I know like as soon as I walk away from things I'm like

18:07 that maybe went a little too far and like just always being aware of that because that is

18:13 poison to large friend groups. Totally. specifically like and so um whether it's not even like oh her husband or her kids or there's just so many factors when it's a mom group thing because most people are married or and most people have multiple children and it's like there's just so many topics that you could touch on that it's just like it's it's it's never ever worth it. It's never going to do there's nothing good that will come of that. And so, um, it is a fine line to to navigate, but just always keeping that at the back of my mind like is always something I try to remember because when there's so many people that could that is where the whole cards could crumble down, you know.

18:54 Yes, I would 100% agree. I feel like I when I reflect back on some of my past friend groups, I'm like, why didn't it feel like there was a lot of drama ever? I think it's because we really try not to gossip about each other. And I think it makes a huge difference and I think our we're friends are pretty good like oh if it starts to get in there we we're good at all like pivoting the conversation and changing it up.

19:15 No, I totally agree. I think and that's something like I admire about both of you and I think I've learned from you guys because I I love the gossip. I love the celebrity gossip a lot a lot. It's less personal, but it sometimes can relay into other areas. And so, I feel like I've grown from both of you knowing that, oh, I I'm not going to gossip because one, I know you guys don't want it, and also, it's teaching me that that's not nice either, you know? So, I feel like I've learned a lot from you guys in that

19:38 transitioning that conversation is what about the husbands. I think that's so crazy that he posted that and that Hillary was like, "Go for it babe."

19:47 If she did, I mean, that's that's bold. which maybe he was like, I need to if everyone in the internet was coming for his wife, maybe he's like, I just need to call a spade a spade.

19:56 The sub head is a mom group tell all through a father's eyes. Oh my goodness. I don't I don't want to talk about them specifically, like my opinions on those those people because I almost did, but I almost gossiped.

20:11 No, but that is a crazy thing. Like if Caleb did that, I think I'd be embarrassed.

20:17 Yeah. Um, just getting involved in like my drama, you know? Maybe the best thing you could do is support your wife uh privately like first and foremost.

20:28 Yeah. And I mean it all depends I guess on what she wanted though. You know what I mean?

20:33 Totally. It also wasn't he is the one who posted that and then it was like oh he's confirming this is the group. He was the first one to confirm that that was the group.

20:43 Yeah. Um the other side of this that I think comes into uh mom groups a lot is the side of differing opinions, differing beliefs.

20:53 Um I think these two have differing political views and people are speculating that that came into the factor too. So how do you deal with mom groups and having those different beliefs within a group?

21:04 That's a good question. Our our group is very diverse. Very diverse. Yeah, I think the this is just something that I think is relatively new, but everyone has latched on to the fact that if you don't agree with someone, then

21:16 you can't be friends. You can't talk. You also they're they're a bad person, right? Yeah. If you believe that, that's your character and you're you're bad to the core.

21:24 You got to cut them out. That is so not how the world works. Honestly, we could all take a note from Zootopia too.

21:31 Maybe what makes you you and what makes me me makes we better. I love that. Ah, I love Zootopia 1.

21:38 I might have misqued that, but that's what I gathered from Zootopia 2. We need to be able to hold both. Like they are I enjoy being with them and they're a good friend and we view things differently. We actually need to view that as a good thing because that is actually how we refine ourselves as people and also are able to be more open-minded. And I think this is

22:00 and balanced like I need to be balanced out and called out and and even just like stretch my my thinking like I need to have people on all sides of everything to talk about things with and even if I still disagree when I hear your point viewpoint I'm like okay well cool.

22:14 Yeah I have a lot of respect when you can like we like if I can say my piece and you can say your piece and we're just like sweet let's go get coffee. Like that's totally fine. And this is this is the this is honestly really dangerous trend that's we're heading down. Uh-huh.

22:28 And um yeah, I have a husband that like loves to lean into controversy and difference. And so I have learned to appreciate too like the fact that it's like okay like the first time we meet, maybe it's not the first time you meet, but this often happens with us like we're getting dinner with a couple for the first time and it's like we just touch on everything that we view differently and we're they're some of our best friends like so many times. But

22:53 yeah, I don't know. I I don't think I would actually I guarantee I wouldn't like if my husband defended me in that way. I think a part of me would be like thanks babe for trying to defend me.

23:04 I love you. But another part would be like this actually is making the situation so much worse probably.

23:10 Yeah. So man that's disappointing. That's tough. Yeah. I feel bad for all of them. I'm sure all of them feel sad. I feel all of them feel attacked by the internet for different things which is obviously just a hard place to be. But I feel like it did start good conversation about mom groups.

23:27 I will say the person that speaks the loudest on things I tend to question the most where I'm like, you chose to make this all a big public thing. I wonder what your internal dialogue was like with those women before you just decided to put it on such a big scale.

23:43 Yeah. And I sometimes I wonder about timing. Like it seems like maybe the breakup with the friend group, whichever friend group was recent, and then she spoke about it. I'm like, if it was 5 years from now, I don't think I would think anything of it and it wouldn't have been a big deal. But since it's so recent to when she was like posting with these girls and stuff, you know, like the timing, too, I would agree with you.

24:02 Yeah. I just feel like life has a lot of things going on. Everything's nuanced.

24:06 We don't need to have drama, girl drama on top of it. Gosh dang it. We don't need fight.

24:13 Gosh, this big a fish to fry around here. Dang it. Well, that's disappointing. I hope that

24:20 they resolve it. they resolve it. This was also posted on January 1st. So, the article was fresh.

24:27 Fresh. Well, dang it. I know. It makes me feel differently about some of those people, which I don't like.

24:32 I I don't Well, I mean, I just feel differently that they like went public with something like that. Sure.

24:40 Maybe just Ashley. Yeah. And Haley and Hillary. I feel like they're the main two.

24:44 Dang it. Because I do feel like Ashley's the one who talked about it and then Hillary and her husband. And I'm like, I feel like that must have been dialogue inside their home to make him want to like share that.

24:55 He had to have like a photo shoot. Like he set it up. Hey, I know. Bummer. That's been all the topic online lately.

25:03 Dang it. I know. Maybe they find new friend groups. Yeah. We have a video kind of I saw online.

25:11 Oh, yeah. I honestly I think we should just describe the diagram. Okay. Because it might be too hard to put the whole thing in.

25:16 Yes. But I can't I was scrolling and I saw this video. I thought it was so funny.

25:21 Yeah. On the topic of friendships. Yes. Yes. Thank you for the segue. Yes. Your dad. That's what we got to work on is the segways conversations. He's so great.

25:31 The art of a segue. My dad gives good feedback. I saw this video online just scrolling and it made me pause and watch the whole thing and I immediately wondered what friend am I? And so yeah. Do you want to explain the diagram?

25:41 You sent it. I love this. Okay. So it has four quadrants. So the people that are likely to plan things but are also flaky. He calls them captains because they're coming hot to group chats. They're like, "Yes, we're doing

25:54 it. We got it going." But then they will bail a lot of the times. I'm busy. I I actually can't make it, you guys.

26:00 My kid's sick. You know, there's just like random stuff that pops up. Totally. Totally.

26:04 Okay. Then the people that are that don't plan things and are flaky. He calls them fruit flies. He's like, "These are the people that just kind of

26:12 they just pop in. Pop in." Wow, you're here. It's that time of year. Like, here you are.

26:18 Here you are. Awesome. They just like probably I I picture the people that like don't ever respond in a group chat, but will just very rarely just like will appear and you're like, "Awesome. Good to see you. I haven't seen you in a while." Okay. People that don't plan things but aren't flaky. He calls them golden retrievers. He says, "These people show a shockingly low amount of agency on their own life. They love when people plan things and they are like locked in but they don't ever

26:45 take the initiative. Take the initiative. Yeah. And then the people that are not flaky and also plan things, he calls them bees. And he says that they fluctuate from being like super chill to not chill at all. They'll send you an angry text if you don't show up to their birthday. They keep all their bees close to the hive. They like hash be a good buddy and are like grouping people together often. So, I think that we all know where we fall. We all we talk about where we fall. I'm curious, too. Leave in the comments where you guys fall cuz I think this is this is good self-reflection time.

27:23 Send it to your friends, too, to see like what do you think I am? Yeah, it's Pete Balmer. That's who made the video. You can go look him up and find it.

27:30 Abby, you're a golden retriever. I'm 100% a golden retriever. I am I never plan a thing, but you ask me, I'm in and I'm down and I will make I will be there.

27:39 Yeah. And I will not I will not bail. You will be late. I'll be late, but I'll be there.

27:43 I'll be there. Um Yeah, that's funny. You're definitely a bee. Yeah, you plan everything. A million parties. Do I I do feel like when I was like I wouldn't send someone an angry text, but I'm like

28:00 I've never gotten an angry text from I wouldn't send an angry text. I would be like, hey, would like to know.

28:07 Did you RGP? Yeah, that was me when I was back and forth on if I was coming this weekend. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to make it.

28:15 She flaked. I call her out. You did flake, Addie. Listen, I texted and said I was

28:21 But I think it's still flaking if it's the day of. Um, I am a captain. That's good.

28:26 I like to plan things. I will be in the group chat. Totally. I will tell Abby the things that she should plan that we should have. And then I also will be like,

28:36 I don't know if I can make it. It's going to happen. We're sleep training Bel can't leave the house and Blake worked all week. So,

28:44 yeah. I think there's a beauty in that where you're you don't take it so seriously where you're able to be like this is actually it would be inconven like a super inconvenience and sometimes I'm like it's really inconvenient but I I have to go cuz I feel

28:57 yeah I literally absolutely I can't look myself in the mirror if I flake I literally can't

29:02 I know I'm like if I would be sick as a dog and I'm like I got to go. I said yes.

29:07 Said yes. I wish I could be more honest which that maybe that's not the nice part of being like I just don't think I'm up for going today. you don't even know where we're going today.

29:16 I don't know. People have said that to me before and I kind of was like, "Yeah, don't say that."

29:20 I'll keep lying. I got to be honest. One time we were like planning, we hadn't seen these people in a long time. This was years ago. No one can speculate who this is. And we were in town. Like we came all the way to the state that they live in. We're like, "Okay, we had dinner plans." And then like an hour before they're like, "They have no kids. We had kids." And they're like, "We just sat down on the couch and we just can't get off the couch today." And I was like I like, "Ah, that's not an acceptable excuse." Maybe that's the bee in me, but I was like,

29:52 "What?" Yes. I feel like laziness is different than like, "Oh, the the babysitter cannot make it and or we're sleep training and literally did not sleep at all."

30:01 I think that's different than like I just don't want to get up. Like I think a part of me appreciates that honesty and another part of me is like

30:08 that's such a lame excuse. I know. I think people will fall all across the board on this opinion. Some people be like be honest and be like no.

30:15 Okay. As does it change when it's a pairing? You and Caleb together invited to somewhere. You and Matt together. Cuz when I'm with Blake, it's even higher level of flakiness.

30:25 Really? Yeah. Cuz Blake doesn't want to do outings. So if I want to go and he doesn't want to go, we end up not going. See, I if Caleb is involved, we are 100% going. When we first got married, it was one weekend Caleb like came in all jolly and he's like, "What do you got going on this weekend?" And I go, "What do you mean? I'm hanging out with you." He goes, "What? I've asked four people to hang out." Like, he's so extroverted and wants to hang out and I will not plan anything.

30:48 Is he a bee? No, he doesn't really take initiative to plan things. I think he was probably before we had kids and he started working more, but yeah, not as much now. I wouldn't say.

30:58 Matt is so very much a golden retriever. And I actually like I remember when this happened, I was like, I take for granted how down you are for literally any plan I throw at you. And I have to give you that appreciation because I literally think about it. Well, cuz I think about Blake, my brother. Like he's like I I and I think about my own father who's

31:16 the same literally a rep they're replicas of each other. Like they are just like so they like what they like and they don't want to stray from that. And I think Matt could not be more open because and here's the day that it really hit me is that one day at 2:00 I was like we're going to a couple's private Pilates class and your legs are going to be in these stirrups and I just remember being in that class. I was like he didn't know when he woke up this morning that I had this scheduled. He didn't know an hour before this happened that I scheduled.

31:45 He just came. I'm going to be so honest. It's because we're middle children. He's like

31:49 we always had our older siblings planned everything for us. Our parents plan everything for us and we were just along for the ride. Dude is along for the ride.

31:55 We Yeah, we He's along for the ride. I'm the same way. I'm like, I want to do things. I'm not going to plan them.

32:00 Gosh. Yeah. I don't know why I became a bee. But I kind of think I've always have been.

32:06 Yeah. You've always You're very extra. Your mom's that way, too. So, you're you're both that way. And then Blake is like his dad.

32:11 Because I love having plans. I will tell you that. I saw this pillow at HomeGoods and it was like lover of canceled plans. And I was like, what?

32:18 Why? Lover of me. What the heck? I like literally love having plans because I'm like that's keeping me excited. I'm like I can't wait to do that. It can be the most simple thing in the world, but if we if I like think ahead. I'm like tonight we're gonna make frozen pizza and watch a movie on the couch when the kids go to bed. I be like plans. I love it. I just like to look forward to something.

32:39 I don't always feel sad when people cancel on me if it's a night thing. If it's during the day, I usually feel bummed. But if it's a night thing, I'm like, "Oh, good. I can just chill."

32:48 Oh, I'm always bummed. I'm always happy afterwards. I like wear. Yeah. I'm always glad when I do.

32:53 Yeah. Like the other night we were I had a girls night with my friends that I was hosting and they were like, "Should we cancel? Not everyone can make it." And they're like, "No, we're going to do it." And I was like, "Oh, it kind of would have been nice to cancel." And then they all came and I was so happy. Like it was so fun.

33:05 But I do get fall into that realm like an hour before something is planned. I'm like, "Gosh dang it, I really wish I didn't have that."

33:11 Totally. Maybe I am more extroverted than I realized. You are one of the most extroverted people I've ever met.

33:16 Really? Yes. Yes. And I'm not saying extroverted as outgoing. I mean like you you were energized being around people.

33:22 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like after okay after we hang out with people I'm like what do you want to do now? They're like I like want to talk to I want to debrief with Matt and Matt's like

33:31 so exhausted. He's an introvert. I'm the same. I'm beat. Even though I'm always the last to leave. I can't leave for some reason.

33:37 Yeah, you are the last. I always linger and then the car I'm always like did I stay too long?

33:42 Did I overstay my love? You are mad. He overthinks everything too. That's the only thing I ever overthink in my life. And

33:48 I think it's because I used to not being included to things. That is a knife to my heart.

33:54 I know. I used to not be invited and then I was like, well, I must not be cool enough to hang out with people.

33:59 I mean, that's sad. So, now I don't Yeah, I think that's maybe why usually afterwards I'm like, I think I was annoying and I stayed too long.

34:05 Oh, I always think about that. I'm like, I was so annoying with what I just said or I talked too much or I did too much. And

34:11 I never think that ever ever ever. I unpacked that with Abby one day and she was like, "You are just like Matt." Literally, he like asked questions. I'm like,

34:21 "Maybe you're the anyone thought anything of that." Yeah. Whoa. I don't ever overthink. I don't think about the things that I say. It's really just my length of time or my presence. I'm like, "Is my presence a bother?"

34:33 That's more That's deeper. Maybe that's worse. Who cares what I say when I'm around?

34:39 I could be talking about nothing. My body being here is a disruption. They hate me. No, I'm just kidding.

34:45 Well, this is fun. Send it to your friends. Are you a bee? Are you a golden retriever? Are you a flute fruit fly?

34:51 Or are you a captain? I feel like there's like it's like as you're going through it, it's like that that that

34:58 I do feel like I've been a lot more flaky recently though. So, I'm It's been a season.

35:02 It's been convicting. I've never felt you never flaked with me. Here's the thing about Abby is she probably the same with you. You will always be there. Doesn't matter how late. If I said yes, I will be there. M

35:13 like let's even say like you were going to come over and watch Housewives one night and I'm like I don't know if she's ever coming. She said she was going to come then it's like 8:30 and she comes she's here and I'm like oh cool great

35:24 you will inconvenience yourself. I'm like that was not inconvenient for you to do that. Yeah.

35:30 Yeah. Um I'm always glad I did it. Yeah. But um yeah I got to work on being late. I actually was really thinking about that today. I was like Abby do you really think your time is so much more valuable than other people? And I was like, I just can't get it together.

35:44 I know. I When we walked in to say, we walked in together, I was like, oh, thank goodness everyone is there. We were by far the the latest.

35:51 Yeah. I mean, we're 10 minutes. Does it hurt you guys to be late? Sometimes. It depends on the situation.

35:56 Every time Blake and I walk out the door and we're going to be late. I'm mad. Caleb's mad.

36:01 I'm mad every single time. Every Sunday morning. No, I think the problem is that Matt and I are both just like what?

36:07 It's not even that I don't like I I get why people get mad. Like it does feel disrespectful of time and it's like I really thought I was going to be on time. That's my trap is I thought I could get there.

36:18 I don't get mad at other people for being late though. So then that's the other thing.

36:22 But I get why people do get mad like it is. Yeah, I get it too. That's why I was really kind of

36:25 I know. I feel convicted about it too. Maybe that's our Maybe that's our one goal that we do. Forget all the other ones we talked about a couple episodes ago. We just work on time, man. I said my whole life, you guys.

36:37 We'll have to get rid of the rest to get focus on that one. I'm like, "Okay, show up when you said you were going to, not early. Show up on time."

36:45 Oh gosh. No. So hard, Addie. Okay. Well, we're going to segue. Sorry, not a smooth one.

36:53 These are trends that we're not falling for. We're not We're not buying into these trends. And that doesn't mean they're bad. If you like them, we love trends. I fall into a lot of trends, but these ones aren't necessarily my cup of tea.

37:06 These are ones that's like if someone chooses them, love that for them. Perfect.

37:11 Own it, girl. It was for you. It was made for you. It was made for you. Own it. I'm so happy for you.

37:15 Yes. I'm not going to I'm not going to fall in line with that one. I won't be joining want joining the bandwagon.

37:20 And I really mean this. I really mean this. Can't get offended. No. Can't get offended if you're like, "This is my favorite thing ever and I will die on this hill."

37:29 Yes. But because there are so many things I love that people hate and I just got to rock it.

37:34 I dislike it cuz I It's good to be different. Hey, we actually I always said this with my friend growing up. I was like, "You're weird." And I meant it as a compliment. And she was secretly getting offended until one day in fifth grade. I meant it as a compliment. Like I was like, "I love that you're weird. Like we're weird together." And then she was like, "When you say that I'm weird, I remember this." And so we always talk about it now. Like she's still my friend. That's funny. She's like, "But like weird in a cool way, right?" And so, Morgan, if you're listening to this, weird in a cool way.

38:04 Maybe we do a follow-up episode to this. We do things that we like that are weird.

38:07 Oh, yeah. We'll see how this one pans out. But this one performs. If you guys like this one, we'll get to do more.

38:13 Okay. You want to kick it off? Yes. I feel passionate about this one. Red light therapy. Listen, I understand there are some medical reasons that this is a necessity. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about those little face masks that the girlies wear for skincare around their house and they look like Iron Man. You are telling me that some rando company put Christmas lights in a face mask and that's going to reverse your wrinkles. I do not think so. Your cells aren't doing nothing in there. That is a That's a scam. You've been scammed.

38:44 And you know how I why I feel like that? Because I got so many emails from sketchy Amazon companies asking me if I wanted to promote their red light therapy masks.

38:53 And I was like, "Okay, they're all fake." M these are timu purchases that they're selling up working up for a lot of money. Can I be a devil's advocate for a second though?

39:03 Sure. Think about the sun and like the rays from the sun that definitely has effects on your skin.

39:08 Sure. So, we know that light can do something to our skin. Don't you think like I've never used it, but like ultraviolet rays that I think the lady who does my facials was explaining it. It's like the only thing that can go like you can do everything topically to your skin, but it's the only thing that can go like deeper in your skin. I think if you get the really expensive medical grade ones, it's probably doing something.

39:27 Oh, you're talking about like I'm talking more about the ones from Amazon. Oh, you know what I mean?

39:31 Like what's your minimum price you need to probably spend on one of these? I would probably say like 200 bucks.

39:36 Oh, I think you probably need to spend more. Probably 600 bucks. Yeah, I Yeah, if you're spending less than $600, those light bulbs are from Lowe's. I'm sorry.

39:42 Yeah, they're from Lowe's. You could string those up on your You could string those up on your tree next year. Just put the mask up there. Tree topper.

39:50 There's one for $89. I don't I'm not buying that one. 79 109. That's That's expensive. That's a lot of money to just buy as like in the hopes that it's going to work for skinare.

40:01 I I I I kind of agree, but I'm also like I don't know enough. I don't know anything. I'm being honest. I'm researching

40:08 the health effects of red light. I don't know. It has mental health effects. 4,000 people have bought this one in the last month and it um what is $93.

40:16 Okay. See, it's supposed to like rejuvenate your cells. But that's the thing that I'm always like hesitant with is these beauty trends, these beauty gimmick things because the we've been sold these for millennia

40:31 and different put this goop on your face, do this cream, do this thing, do that. And I'm like, you're telling me that this light that you're putting on your face,

40:37 that's a valid one. I can see it. Turn back the clock. I never used one. I don't want I feel like that would be a claustrophobic nightmare.

40:45 Yes. For me, this is promoted as smoothing skin, oil control, skin tightening, purple. I just kind of buy it.

40:56 That's a good one. I'm not talking about the health people. Like, I know someone who has cancer and she does red light therapy and it's great.

41:02 That's not what I'm talking about. Like a red light room type thing. I'm literally talking about the Iron Man.

41:06 The Iron Man mask. Yeah. Okay, that's valid. Okay, that's my trend. Okay, this one I don't even think is like a relevant trend anymore, but laboo. Laboos.

41:16 I You didn't buy any laboo? No. I Okay. The first time I learned about Laboo was when Matt and I went to VidCon last year and all these kids had them on their backpack and I was like, that's cute for kids.

41:29 They're kind of creepy, but that's fun that they have their thing. But then when I saw adult women with them attached to designer bags,

41:38 of course, was when I was like, what are we doing? What are we doing here? And I I genuinely think that like give it two years, everyone's going to look back and be like,

41:49 "What? What was that? What was that about? What was that?" Cuz I have things I can be like, "What was that about?" But that one I'm like genuinely like grown adults with fancy expensive bags and little weird stuffed animals attached to them. That is objectively weird.

42:04 It's weird. I kind of like it. I would have I didn't purchase any, but I kind of like them.

42:13 Are they expensive? How much is a Lubu? No, I think originally they're like $30 from PopMart, but it was the black market that went crazy.

42:21 Like limited edition Laboos. They're all limited edition. I'm pretty sure you don't know which one you're getting, which is also part of the craze.

42:27 Oh, I didn't know that part. Yeah. So, when you open I'm pretty sure. And yeah, they're they went expensive on the secondhand market. That's why they went crazy. Well, Addy, your face is like this is crazy. What? The one that's at the top of the when you look up Loos and go to the PopMart chart is the monsters $114.

42:46 Yes, they're not originally that expensive. They're maybe $30 to $60 originally.

42:50 This one is $25. Yeah, but it was the secondhanders. A sidebar of that is that a trend I also will not be falling for is designer anything. M

43:01 I I can respect it in the sense of like it's art to people. Like these bags are like art to people. It's just I'm not going to fall for that. I don't really I don't want to buy a bag for that much. I don't think it's it's not worth it to me.

43:16 See, I'm the opposite. I love I love I've always but I've always loved like the history of fashion and the art side of it. So someday when it's not like sin for me to spend that much money on a bag, I will buy myself a a special bag. But I will say a trend I don't like is dupe culture. That's not on my list.

43:36 But in my head I'm like I'd rather just not have it at all than have a fake. And that's a hot take.

43:40 Yeah, that I I I have I like a dupe. Yeah, you like be like you would rather have a fake than buy spend your money.

43:45 No, no, it's not even about the fake. It's like I like the shoe for what like for the shoe that it is. That's like it wasn't ever about the brand.

43:53 Mhm. You know what I mean? So, it's not because it's replicating a brand. It's cuz like the dupes I have are like UGG dupes. I'm like I like those warm shoes.

44:00 Sure. So, yeah. Yeah. I know. And I never cared about the brand. So, then I was like I don't

44:05 Yeah, there's two ends of the aisle. I will never buy what a Magnetiles dupe. Oh, no. Some of the magnets aren't as strong. No, I will never buy it because on their box, their packaging of every single box. It was like they have like some type of disclaimer that's like please look out for false magnetiles and I just think about this in my head. It's like a family small business that started magnetiles and it really took off because it's an amazing product.

44:29 It is an amazing and we love magnetiles and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I don't want to fall for that." And I honestly should probably view Uggs that way, too.

44:36 Yeah. But well, Uggs are different because there's a whole history there. Yeah, I know that there's some history behind Uggs. So, I will you'll I will never, mark my words, I will never buy a magnetiles dupe.

44:46 To make it even more to the heart, it was invented in Japan by a math teacher to teach geometry.

44:51 Magnetiles. Yep. And then it was brought to the US in 1997 and that's when they changed the name to Magnetiles.

44:58 Magnetiles is a great name. Incredible creation. Okay, my next trend, pimple patches in public as fashion. I'm so sorry.

45:06 You're right. That is just nasty. We don't need to normalize pimples. They're already normal. They're already normal.

45:11 We don't need to draw attention to them with a star on our face. I don't like it.

45:14 We can normalize acne, but not Yes, of course. Uh yeah, highlighting them. I I think it's okay to like take it off your face and go out looking a little bit more presentable

45:25 to the people. This is something I'm very passionate about is the pimple patches and the colors and the shapes.

45:31 Yes. Just it's bad. I didn't think a thing about your pimple until you put that patch on it and now I'm like that's nasty.

45:37 Yeah, there's something there's some puss coming out. Yeah, that's drying out in there. Then that should be done at night time while you're sleeping.

45:43 That should be done overnight. I agree. Actually, that is weird. My next one is very controversial.

45:51 Uh-oh. Cottage cheese. Oh, I'm not falling for it. Don't fall for it. Put Quit putting your cottage cheese in everything.

46:04 I put it in literally everything. Honestly, grotesque. Stop blending it. Stop. Not a good texture. I tried it. It's a lie.

46:11 Don't put it in your W. Heaven forbid you put cottage cheese in any of my desserts.

46:19 Heaven forbid. Heaven forbid. I'm literally like, please get that out of here. It doesn't need to be in everything. I mean, also cottage cheese has been around, guys, like

46:27 a long time. It's long. And it's also curdled milk. Sure. Let's be careful where we're putting that.

46:33 I'm literally like so tired of hearing about cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese. Yeah, I don't mind it. I like it. I actually like it a little bit in my eggs.

46:41 Yeah, that's fine. It's good. It's really good. Really creamy. I did try that because of peer pressure.

46:47 Pure pressure. I was peer pressure, too. I'm not doing it currently. Never doing it again.

46:50 Well, probably won't either. It's just like let eggs be eggs. Eggs are let everything exist as it should be.

46:57 You know what the next food trend is that I'm excited about? Actually, it's cabbage. I love cabbage.

47:01 Food trend. Blake just got cabbage. I don't know. He's on probably food. It's coming up. People are catching on. Oh, cabbage was already a part of that green dip that was really popular online.

47:10 Oh, I didn't. You would love it, Abby. I love cabbage. I love I'm going to make it for you. You just have to chop up everything so small and it takes forever. But it's a really good

47:18 little green dip. Let's try it. I'm honored that you would do it. But there's no cottage cheese in it.

47:22 Good. Keep it out. And don't put it in desserts. Don't make any dessert healthy.

47:27 Don't do it. Just make a dessert bad. Okay. Not bad. Just eat it. Just eat your

47:31 foods aren't good or bad. Abby, I'm sorry. Okay. Okay, my next one's also controversial. Paying it forward.

47:42 I sound like the biggest jerk, you [ __ ] Okay, I have a reason for this. You have a valid reason before you comment.

47:51 Before you hate me, okay, Caleb and I went to Culver's to get ice cream. It was a tight budget month and we were like, "Let's treat ourselves and go get ice cream." We restrained ourselves. We both got smalls. Okay, we're like, "We're not going to go medium wrap because we don't want to spend more money." We get up to the window. Oh my goodness. The car in front of us paid for our order. That was so nice, so generous. But then I look at the lady in the window and I go, "So what do we do? Do I pay? Do we have to pay for the people behind us order?" And she goes, "If you want." And I just felt like a jerk. How do you can't be the one that ends the pay it forward train? Because you are then a bad person. And you know what? The people behind us ordered mediums.

48:34 So, we should have just ordered what we wanted. And that's why I will be saying, "I'm not falling for that trick again. If you want to pay for my meal, that's amazing. I'll take it generously." But I'm just going to accept the gift.

48:46 I'm just unless I'm in a Unless we are like, "Let's be generous." But I'm not going to feel pressured to be generous.

48:51 Okay. In the moment. You let that one go. You in the train. I've had this story written down for so long. I wrote it as pay it forward. Hoopla.

49:00 Hoopla. I've been using that word a lot recently. That's really funny. Yeah, it was a bad

49:06 That is some hoopla. That was hoopla. I think it's funny. It's just really ironic that your decision was a financial decision only for such be.

49:15 So I guess honestly what you should take from this is just get the medium. I That's what I'm saying too.

49:21 Say what's $5. You know what I mean? H it's just funny. Okay, this one I know we agree on this one. AI. Oh, Abigail.

49:31 I'm not falling. Oh, Abby. You can call me Abigail. Your name. I go by that sometimes. Um, AI. And Abby brought up this point. Just say it.

49:42 AI is for men. It is. And here's the thing. I've used it before. Honestly, I had to use it for this podcast.

49:49 I used it lots of times. That was I haven't used it actually a lot of times because I'm so avidly against it,

49:55 so annoyed by it. And I know that. Here's the thing. I know that it's inevitable. AI is going to continue to grow and become this massive thing and I'm gonna end up using it too. But at this point, I just think there needs to be more boundaries with AI. I remember like it's really Matt. He is always talking to AI. I'm like that's not a person. We have to have boundaries. Like we can ask AI a questions like hey like come up with a name or come up with like a concept or heck even like I don't know how what's a nice way of phrasing this email. That's fine.

50:26 Yeah. But when it's like give me life advice, give me um like I don't know, there's like things that I'm like these a human has to be there.

50:36 Sure. A human has to know you, not a machine. Yeah. And my other gripe about it, if I were to give you a list,

50:43 it gasses you up so much. Oh, I hate it. I It's like, what a wonderful idea. That's a great question, Caleb. I'm like, shut up.

50:51 Yeah. They're like, Matt, wonderful idea. And I'm like, "No, it wasn't." Just kidding.

50:58 That That doesn't mean anything. It's a computer. It's empty. Here's where the issue comes is both of you are talking about how they speak to it.

51:06 I have used CatchBT for work for different things. I type anything I need. So then I'm not getting the emotional side of things. I never talk to it ever.

51:17 I hate the talking. And it they they fluff. It rambles. It doesn't get to the point. I'm like, don't give him a compliment and then get to the point. Just get to the point. I can read Google faster than I can. You get to the point. One time Caleb goes, "Okay, hey chat, my wife and I d" and it goes, "Oh, wow. I that's funny that Abby wants to do that." I said, "He never You never told it my name. It knows my name." And I was mad.

51:41 I get mad when Matt tells AI about me. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, it's for men that need a mentor." I honestly think,

51:48 okay, this is where I AI is for men. I was listening to a podcast and these guys were talking about how Gemini at the bottom of a video they will say, "Gemini, summarize this video for me." And I said, "That's it. Women will never do that." And they were like, "Oh, that's going to be all the new thing. People are going to just summarize their videos." I go, "No woman is going to summarize their video. I want the story. I want the details. I want to be sat and I want to hear it.

52:11 I want to wind down. I want to wind down. I want the information. Don't summarize this. Summarize that. I don't want it. It's

52:16 too much too soon. Too much too soon. That's for men. They want to get to the point and they just want to move on with their day.

52:23 Yeah. They don't care about like details all the details. That's right. That's right.

52:27 AI. And here's the thing. I I even hate to be saying this cuz I know I'm a hypocrite right now because I just know that I'm going to succumb to this, but right now I'm just going to I'm going to do it reluctantly.

52:37 Sure. A slow adopter. I don't like it when it talks and I don't like it like and I'm also like it changes per people all the time.

52:48 I don't I don't know people. It's actually a problem. People think that they're like in relationships with AI personalities.

52:55 Yeah, they do. They're full apps for that. The other day, Caleb had chat talking and it literally started it got drunk in the middle of it sentence. It started slurring its word. Did you hear that?

53:04 But your your chat has a problem. It's an addict. I literally when Matt gets on it, I'm like, "Take it in another room. Take her in another room.

53:13 Take her." Ew. I just got this flashback of like 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and like if someone were to watch you guys talk about this and be like, "What the heck?"

53:21 Yeah. I don't know how colleges are adjusting to this. I don't know. I don't know.

53:25 Know what's going on, but it's out of control. It's out of control. Out of Too much too soon.

53:30 Okay, here's my next one. Fake freckles. I I think they look cute. Honestly, it's just another step and I'm not doing it in my makeup routine. I've always been jealous of freckles. You have the cutest freckles. I think I would look cute with freckles. I'm not painting them on my face.

53:44 I agree. I will not be doing that. You have them or you don't. Yeah, exactly. You're blessed.

53:50 Oh, you're a mess. I'm just kidding. I feel like your face probably looks the best the way it is.

53:55 Yes. I don't think it's going to look better with freckles. It might look a little different.

53:59 It's just such an extra step. Like, don't we already have enough things to do? Also, it could go wrong really quickly.

54:05 So fast. Yes, that's that's my whole point with that one. I agree. This one, man. I did two heavy ones back toback. AI have a lot of passionate feelings about one. This one, manhating. Talked about it on unplanned before and people did not like it.

54:21 Why? They said you should hate men more. Oh, it's a trend, Abby. Oh, it is a trend. It is a major trend, but I'm still standing on this. Hating men is Okay. hating, discriminating against an entire gender because you had a bad experience with one is still discrimination even if it's men. Even if you view them as like, you know, privileged in some type of way, which they are,

54:47 but that is still discrimination. It's still not okay. And also, I'm raising two boys. I would like to think that one day when they grow into men that they can be in a world where women are not going to be constantly looking to degrade them, to belittle them, to look for them to make any mistake and then be like, "Yeah, because you're a man." You know, I think it's just it's so it's not serving us. It's not doing the purpose that we want,

55:11 right? Like we should actually maybe encourage men and you know, the way that we want them to encourage us.

55:19 Yes. And maybe heck, maybe they'll step up to the plate. Gosh dang it. Dang it.

55:23 Gosh dang it. Imagine you speaks positively to someone and they turn it around.

55:27 Me personally, when people are like giving me praise, I'm like, I want to do more of that.

55:31 Literally, when people are knocking me down constantly and I think this is running rampant online specifically.

55:39 And so that's why I say this on this platform is because it has become so cool and be like, I hate all men or all men are terrible. Like just make these crazy comments and I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. If someone were to say that about women, we would be pissed off

55:55 literally. And like th this is just so crazy. And it's just been a trend among any type of like couples or family creators. It's like let's villainize and demonize the man. Let's call them gay. That's a big trend too. Like let's just do everything to demasculinate them. And also just belittle them, make them feel so small.

56:12 And we're also hitting the wrong target so many times. I'm like, they're an awesome person. They're amazing. And we're going after the wrong people. Everyone, this is just not women. It's not going to help us, right?

56:26 It will only hurt us. Trust me. Tearing other people down to build yourself up has never been has never been effective.

56:31 Never would effective. You can love women without hating men. Yes. And also, it makes us just sound like prideful in a bad way. I'm like, it's not it's not like a cute pride.

56:40 It's just it's like women are amazing. We are awesome, but like that can be the period. You know what I mean?

56:47 That can be the end of it. Both things can be true. Women are awesome and men are awesome.

56:50 Yeah. And I do understand that the the conversation, the man hating started after the Me Too movement. Much needed movement. Very important movement. But it's just gone too far.

56:58 It wasn't all men. It was never all men, right? And it's just gone too far. It's gone way too far.

57:03 We all need We need to ring it back in a little bit. Ring it in and calm it down, everybody. And I'm sorry if you've had a bad experience with a man.

57:10 Yeah, that man sucks. That man sucks. We hate those men. We don't like that man. But making these broad statements is just it's

57:18 right. It's out. It's unfair. Yes. I love my man. He's awesome. So I'm like, "Everyone calm down."

57:25 What's that song? That's my man. Thank you for my man. That's my man. Yeah. I sing that in my head a lot. Um, okay. That's good, Abby.

57:35 Thank you. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. I'm like I honestly think about my little boys and I'm like

57:40 they're awesome. I don't want anyone to just be like You're a man. I will fight them. No,

57:46 I know. It's going to make me not like girls, right? Yeah, I love girls. I love girls.

57:51 I'm a girls girl and a girl. No, I'm a girls girl. Yeah, I don't even know what I was trying to say. Okay, my last one. This one is a hot take. This one's controversial.

58:00 Okay, Pilates. I'm sorry. I don't like it. I'm sorry. As a whole or as your primary form of exercise?

58:18 I've done it multiple times and I was bored every time. I think I've invited you every time.

58:22 I've done it. Yeah, I've done it a bunch of times and every time I'm like, "Oo." You see all those videos of line of girls where they're like, "My football boyfriend come to Pilates and he's like shiver, you know, shaking so hard."

58:31 I've never experienced that. Really? Yes. I mean, maybe for like an eight count.

58:36 Oh, I've been I've been trembling in Pilates. Sure, you tremble a bit. I don't know. I just I was bored every time. I've done it multiple times like at many different

58:46 many different uh gyms and it's just never been my thing. So, I just like to work out differently.

58:52 No, I agree. It's so expensive. It doesn't get your heart rate up. No, I think I like that.

58:56 I like getting my heart rate up. Same. And it's like $45 $40 for a drop in class at some of these places. I'm just telling you if you can't if you have if you wanted to try it and you're like feeling left out, it's okay.

59:06 That's a that's good. Actually, I mean, it's not my preferred workout. It does. I think the reason the trembling comes from is because you're working muscle groups that

59:15 are small. Are small. Yes. Yeah. And it's like you're like they've never done this before.

59:20 Yeah. Totally. They've never had this responsibility. Um but yeah, I'm sorry. People are going to hate me for that.

59:27 I don't know about that. They will. People love People love their gym. If people said that about Burn, I'd be like a That's a bummer.

59:34 But I know people don't like Burn. So, it's okay. Actually, it's okay that I don't like Pilates.

59:39 It's okay that you don't like Pilates, Abby. It's okay. I think I think it's perfectly fine.

59:42 I prefer other workouts as well. Yes, that's awesome. See, everyone see how that just went? Abby said something and we all said it's okay.

59:50 It's okay, Abby. It's okay. Okay, I got one. This one actually is still a trend. And I'm surprised that it is.

59:57 Okay. Laminated eyebrows, or as I like to call them, electrocution eyebrows. I was googling to how to get my eyebrows laminated the other day.

1:00:07 Okay. No, no, no. Go off. No, no, no. I think you can get your eyebrows like professionally laminated and like tinted and like lifted. I'm talking about going literally straight vertical.

1:00:18 Yeah, those are Yeah. a little crazy. Fluffing them directly up, especially if they're long,

1:00:23 and greasing them all the way up. No eyebrows grow like that. Sure. And I think the whole point of makeup is to

1:00:30 accentuate the natural beauty of your face and your features. And so when they go straight up, shellacked straight up,

1:00:40 it's not looking like an eyebrow anymore to me. My eyebrows have looked like this through all the eyebrow trends. And that's because that's what they look like.

1:00:48 Sure. So I'm like, it's not for me. Yes. Eyebrow eyebrow blindness is a real thing.

1:00:54 It's bad. Eyebrow blindness has been around since 2015. Well, remember Okay. And also, let's just have a moment moment for all the trends of eyebrows.

1:01:04 Super skinny like the early 2000s like pen straight overplucked. Yeah. Then we swayed so hard to the block eyebrows

1:01:15 squares completely filled in. Now we've gone to a more natural shade of eyebrow, but shellac to the heavens.

1:01:24 Shellac to the heavens. I actually look back sometimes and I have shellac to the heavens eyebrows. Sometimes I have a little bit of eyebrow blindness.

1:01:31 I think it's part of the clean girl aesthetic. No, I've never noticed you having it. I'm talking about extreme cases cuz I do also I brush mine up.

1:01:38 Yeah, that's that's great. And it's just for me, I'm like when they go all the way up and they're really long, it's kind of

1:01:44 like fluffy eyebrows. It's like the big See, I don't even think I think that's what they call them, but they don't look fluffy to me.

1:01:49 No, I know. It's the extreme. I know exactly what you're talking about. Greased straight up.

1:01:54 Yes. Yes. Yes. That is crazy. It is crazy. I one time I did do that and my older sister DM me and my sister Olivia goes,

1:02:01 "What is wrong with your eyebrows?" I think you go up and then just a little bit to the side. Yes.

1:02:07 Cuz it's just you kind of always look surprised. Maybe that's why I like it. I'm like, "Oo, a little faceelift."

1:02:14 I do think it's part of the clean girl aesthetic that I never quite like. It doesn't suit me. So, it's probably just a trend that it's a part of a larger a broader trend that doesn't suit me.

1:02:24 Sure. And yeah, maybe I'm just also too hairy. I don't know. I'm pretty hairy, too. I brows I like I like the the brows, but I get what you're saying with the extreme.

1:02:35 Maybe if they're too Maybe it's the problem is when they're too long to be doing that.

1:02:38 It's the length. Yeah. Uhhuh. Yeah. I'm glad we got those off our chest. I'm glad we got those off our chest.

1:02:46 Ask Ask Ask Aby's. Hi, my name's Ashley and I just had a question. You both seem to have a large friend group and to host a lot of gatherings and I was just wondering what your best hosting tips would be. Love watching you guys and listening along. Bye.

1:03:07 Take it away, Abby. Oh, I'm no expert. I mean, my advice is like don't worry about perfection like in your house. Like my house will be messy. Straight up messy. And we're still having people over. And I think that is maybe just to do with the season of life that we're in too where it was like I don't have time to clean my house all day because we're going to have company. But also it's just like it's more about the company that you're going to have over and like your true friends are not going to think a thing about you having toys out or dishes in your sink.

1:03:37 Yeah. I think that's the main thing that I think of. I think people think that their house has to be perfect and that their event has to be perfectly planned and all these things. And it's really not about that. You can just say, "Hey, come like I'll have a few snacks. you can bring snacks to

1:03:49 and it's just about the community and the company and not about how like your house looks. I think that yeah, especially as women, we kind of feel like things have to be perfect

1:03:59 and that's not the point of it and your real friends are not going to care at all.

1:04:02 Totally. Yeah, I think that's good. I don't know if I have anything to add. I think that's great. Thanks.

1:04:06 Hey guys, love listening to the podcast. Um, I was just calling to ask for advice about what to do or how to get through a season with your partner where you feel like you're becoming distant or disconnected. I know that it's like eb and flow within relationships, but sometimes some seasons are harder than others. And how did you guys navigate through that during your relationships? Thanks.

1:04:30 Oh man. Yeah, that happens a lot. I mean, not a lot, but that's happened here and there throughout the seasons of our marriage for sure. And I feel like we recently had a season like this, especially just being postpartum and pregnant. I told Caleb, I looked at him, I said, "I just feel a little bit more like your roommate and your friend than I do your wife." And sometimes just voicing it out loud to your spouse

1:04:52 opens up the conversation of like, "Oh, wow. I didn't even realize that." Like, "What do you need from me to feel more connected?" Or, "What can I do to help us feel more connected?" And I think it goes both ways. Like asking I would ask Caleb like, "What can I do to help?" And then he would also ask me like, "What can I do to be a better husband?" And then we schedule a date night. And I think that's really important because sometimes you just need quality. Like I'm a big quality timerr. When I'm lacking on quality time is when I start to really feel distant. So yeah, whatever it is with your love language or your spouse's love language, just ask. And then really try to go above and beyond for a little bit of a time. Not just like one time, but like for a couple weeks until you kind of feel like you've reconnected.

1:05:32 That's really good advice. And I like how you even said like relationships eb and flow. I think we need to do more normalizing of this in rel like a normal relationship like can have parts where you're like it's not necessarily all passion right now. Especially in seasons like you said when seasons are more difficult. Postpartum like any hard thing in life that can happen is going to naturally affect how you are showing up in your relationship and in your marriage. And that has to be normal and it can't go to like panic time. and like, "Oh, this isn't like the movies.

1:06:04 This isn't passionate. This isn't like a romcom, so this is bad or this is wrong." But it is good to acknowledge that and like to do a check-in then and then uh yeah, have an honest conversation. I think the advice to go above and beyond for like a couple weeks is great advice. Just kind of shock everyone out of it. Be like, "We love each other. We like are having fun."

1:06:22 Yes. And so, yeah, I think that's really good advice. And also just expressing that because I feel like if you were to honestly say this, I think John Deloney says this where he's like it's one thing to say like I need this from you. And it's something even more intimate in a way to say like I want this from you. Like and I think that maybe your partner can hear this that better too. It's like I want you. I'm craving like intimacy with you. And I feel like that honesty and transparency will almost always be well received hopefully.

1:06:51 Hi Abby and Abby. My name is Bren and I'm a regular listener regular listener to your podcast both unplanned and um your new one. I wanted to know what is both of your favorite way to unwind after a long day. Thanks so much. I loved listening to your podcast. Bye guys.

1:07:12 That's sweet. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thank you so much. I like a big old bowl of ice cream smothered in chocolate shell. Oh yeah,

1:07:22 ice cream. I Yeah, that really helps me feel just happy at night. That's awesome. Yeah,

1:07:28 I have a new habit now of after we put the kids to bed, I'm like I just need at least like I honestly would say ideally at least 20 minutes to just put on headphones and I listen to library music on YouTube and read my book and have a hot tea. And I literally just like I'm amazed by how

1:07:47 like I feel after all that. And Matt, like now he makes my tea. He knows it's like an expectation. I have my little corner of the couch, my Kindle, my blanket, and I'm like, "Thank you." And like, we don't talk for like 20 minutes. And it's amazing what like

1:08:02 that does for my brain to like wind down. And also, I'm just like it's so relaxing. It's like so It's my favorite thing ever. And then Matt like came and sat down. He's like, "Oh, are you not done yet?" I'm like, "No, you can come sit next."

1:08:15 Like I'm like, "This is I like did it one night and I was like, "This is going to be a frequent thing. I like love this." But everyone has their own things. I feel like I would caution against like scrolling because it feels like it's easy to do and it feels good, but you're not actually probably winding down. You're probably winding yourself up.

1:08:34 Now I'm thinking about I probably don't have anything that I do to wind down. I probably need to implement something. It is very relaxing for me when I cook to watch a show and like put my headphones in. I have a show going when I cook, but I haven't been able to do that as much in this season. So

1:08:48 yeah, I'll get back to that. Yeah, but that was how I would before wind down. Wow, guys. I every time I hear your voicemails, I just want everyone to know how grateful I am that you guys are listening and like participating in this way. It's It's really really cool and I'm just I just feel so much gratitude for our audience listening and for everyone here that are always here.

1:09:10 I'm like, "Oh my gosh, we asked people to call in and they actually did it." That's amazing. It's so sweet. Thank you for supporting. If you guys want to call in, the phone number is 6024569690. And it could be a question about anything.

1:09:24 Yeah. Yourself, lighthearted. Yeah, you guys are awesome. I've loved every question that's come in.

1:09:29 Me, too. It's been great. Thanks so much you guys for listening to another episode. And remember, we're always here.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys"?

Abby Howard (Host).

What is "Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys" about?

The discussion centers around skepticism towards current trends like artificial intelligence, food fads (specifically cottage cheese), and wellness treatments such as red light therapy, emphasizing that many popular notions are overly hyped or misleading. Additionally, the hosts address the challenges of adulting, the complexities of social dynamics, and the importance of navigating gossip with…

What is mentioned in this Always Here episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Abby Howard, Artificial Intelligence, Ashley Tisdale, Hillary Duff, Red light therapy, Cottage cheese. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Mom gossip, cottage cheese, other trends we're not falling for - with the Abbys"?

The episode runs 1 h 10 min; the transcript is about 15,420 words in 403 timestamped sections.

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