Our Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, & the Frida Mom Scandal

What this episode is about

A lighthearted look at modern parenting challenges, including toddler habits, branding seen on kids’ products, and the chaos of daily family life, with humor and candid reflections on parenting hacks, mom life, and contemporary awkward moments.

Key takeaways

• Santa’s binky swap reveals how kids mirror parental control: shocking, funny, and a tad Freudian in 60 seconds.
• Nerf 101: a toy teaches chaos theory—simple thrusts can become inevitable misfires when curiosity wins.
• Three meals for toddlers? Marketing vs. metabolism: kids eat less, parents budget chaos into every bite.
• The ‘story I’m choosing to tell myself’ line reframes conflict, turning contempt into collaborative clarity.
• Birthday paradox of parenthood: you stop aging at 25, but your feed becomes a perpetual growth spurt.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Abby Howard (Host) · 56 min speaking
• Addie (Guest) · 23 min speaking
• Blake (Host) · 5 min speaking
• Louis (Guest)
• Caleb (Guest) · 5 min speaking
• Unnamed interviewer/hosts (Guest) · 5 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Marriage, Caleb Howard, Abby Howard, mom hacks
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Breastfeeding, snot sucker, Thermometer, Parenting
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Parenting, mom fails, mom hacks, Terrence Howard
4. 30:00 – 40:00: St. Louis
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Abby Howard, family motto, Parenting, Terrence Howard
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: mom hacks, family motto, Matt Howard
7. 1:30:00 – 1:33:22: Marriage, marriage conference

Notable quotes from "Our Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, & the Frida Mom Scandal"

• We're your hosts Abby Howard and Abby Howard and we are here once again to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor.

  about Abby Howard · at 0:43

• I know. So, okay, let's give a little recap for the people maybe don't know what's going on. Freedom Mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products for moms.

  about Freda Mom · at 10:19

• And I think it's appropriate for the setting of Marty Gro. They're doing a they're trying to like get away the stigma of breastfeeding being weird in public.

  about Breastfeeding · at 12:31

• That's what this says. It says others are saying that brand intended to use adult humor to make light of the realities and frustrations of parenting, not to sexualize children, but acknowledge it cross the line for many.

  about Parenting · at 16:27

• Oh, we comparing I'm not comparing us to freedom mom, but we have some mom fails, too.

  about mom fails · at 20:27

• That's right. That's what this podcast is all about. And so, not necessarily the wins, but we're going to talk about some of our mom hacks, if you will.

  about mom hacks · at 44:10

• And so we said Howards are patient, generous and kind. Now we have kind of like expanded on some of those. But patient, generous, and kind for us was a really good foundation because it gets a.

  about family motto · at 45:16

• My number one tip is I prompt the response that I want to hear. And I actually heard you do this today with Griffin. You said hey we're leaving in one minute. Let me hear you…

  about Terrence Howard · at 48:27

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Abby Howard — Person · Host · 4 mentions · first at 0:40
  Co-host who drives most segments: life updates, Freedom Mom scandal discussion, and parenting hacks/fails.
• Terrence Howard — Person · Referenced child · 4 mentions · first at 0:08
  Used in examples about nursing, naps/sleep environment, and binky joke.
• Caleb Howard — Person · Referenced spouse / supporting character · 3 mentions · first at 1:53
  Referenced as Abby Howard's spouse in stories about marriage, budgeting, discipline, and household projects.
  Oh, yeah. Yeah, I ask him to do that and I Caleb and I was What do we talk about? I was No, we have questions prepared for you guys if you wanted to do it.
• Matt Howard — Person · Referenced spouse / supporting character · 2 mentions · first at 41:10
  Referenced in parenting discipline framework and household stories (diaper/pull-up mistake; car cleaning backlash).
  Matt did that last night. Matt didn't put a pull-up on Griffin.

Companies & orgs

• Freda Mom — Company · Primary discussed company · 1 mention · first at 14:08
  Center of the episode’s main controversy: sexualized marketing/packaging for baby/postpartum products and public backlash.
• Balenciaga — Company · Referenced cautionary example · 1 mention · first at 13:36
  Referenced as a prior scandal involving children in inappropriate imagery, used to frame why Freda Mom feels unacceptable.
  They had a campaign that was really It just promoted it looked made kids look like they were in really inappropriate like SNM like type stuff. It was really inappropriate.
• Scrub Daddy — Company · Referenced comparison brand · 1 mention · first at 18:34
  Used as a comparison for viral/cheeky marketing tactics that feel more acceptable for a sponge than baby products.
  Don't know. I think about Scrub Daddy because Scrub Daddy has I think they have very similar marketing tactics to Scrub Daddy, the sponges.
• Catholic elementary school — Organization · Referenced school type · 1 mention · first at 3:17
  Mentioned in a story about switching to public school and experiencing culture shock.
  Not instant. I remember I switched from a Catholic elementary school to public school and I just learned so much that first week.
• public school — Organization · Referenced school type · 1 mention · first at 3:17
  Contrasted with Catholic elementary school in a discussion about adolescence and learning social norms.
  What's wild is that I went to public school the whole time and I never learned anything.

Products & tech

• snot sucker — Product · Discussed product · 3 mentions · first at 10:35
  Flagship Freda Mom product repeatedly praised; becomes a test case for whether they will keep buying the brand.
  I think it saved my kids lives multiple times. I'm not kidding. That's a I think gets the snot out of their brains. It's really effective.
• Thermometer — Product · Referenced product · 3 mentions · first at 11:00
  Central example of the scandal: a rectal thermometer post captioned with a threesome joke.
  It's a cartoon and it's a rectal thermometer and it says, The closest your husband will ever get to a threesome. That was the caption on their Instagram post. That's crazy.
• lie detector — Product · Referenced content prop · 1 mention · first at 1:48
  Mentioned as a prop used in a recording day/video concept involving questions for couples.
  Oh, yeah. Yeah, I ask him to do that and I Caleb and I was What do we talk about? I was No, we have questions prepared for you guys if you wanted to do it.
• baby nail clippers — Product · Referenced product · 1 mention · first at 10:55
  Mentioned as a Freda Mom product they owned; also tied to a listener mom-fail about clipping a baby’s finger.
  All, the postpartum get a lot of their breastfeeding things like the warmers, the pads, like all that stuff. We had the baby nail clippers, the We had the thermometer, everything.

Concepts & topics

• Parenting — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at 16:31
  The episode is structured around parenting realities: discipline frameworks, routines, mom fails, and practical hacks.
• mom hacks — Concept · Segment theme · 4 mentions · first at 0:16
  A major segment where hosts share practical strategies (lunch as snack, car shoes, screen-time rules).
• mom fails — Concept · Segment theme · 1 mention · first at 20:30
  A major segment featuring listener submissions and host stories to normalize imperfection in parenting.
• family motto — Concept · Parenting framework / hack · 4 mentions · first at 45:00
  Presented as a key parenting tool (“Howards are...”) to shape behavior and provide a shared standard.
• Breastfeeding — Concept · Supporting topic · 5 mentions · first at 10:52
  Discussed in context of public breastfeeding stigma, postpartum products, and sleep-deprivation anecdotes.
• Marriage — Concept · Supporting topic · 4 mentions · first at 4:00
  Appears through conflict-resolution language (“story I’m choosing...”) and joint budgeting/discipline alignment.
  Or not even like even just like thinking something about them that's not positive that you say the story I'm choosing to tell myself is and then you kind of can say which…
• private money — Concept · Supporting topic · 1 mention · first at 4:17
  Discussed via marriage conference takeaways: budgeting, fear around money conversations, and planning monthly reviews.
  It was like the perfect amount like it started to just feel like a good time to leave and come back home but we went to a marriage conference. learned about money.
• postpartum products — Concept · Supporting topic · 1 mention · first at 10:25
  Discussed as a key product category where Freda Mom is strong (kits/caddies, breastfeeding accessories).
  What's going on. Freedom Mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products for moms.
• budget — Concept · Supporting topic · 1 mention · first at 4:08
  Concrete action item from marriage conference: create and review a household budget monthly.
  This conversation I wouldn't feel that way right so we do need to do that and so we have it on the calendar for the top of March to do yes and hopefully we'll start doing that.
• everything shower — Concept · Lifestyle reference · 1 mention · first at 7:20
  Used in a sick-day anecdote describing self-care while parenting (including showering the dog).
  Yeah, it was nice. I was just in my PJs literally all day until 3 p.m. And then I took an everything shower and that was the day.
• Artificial Intelligence — Concept · Referenced explanation · 1 mention · first at 11:51
  Mentioned as an initial suspicion that the controversial posts might be fake/AI-generated.
  I don't know. I thought it was AI to be honest when I first saw these. I literally was like that's not real. I've used like you know what I mean? And some of these posts that have come to light.

Places & events

• marriage conference — Event · Referenced event · 2 mentions · first at 3:58
  Source of takeaways on budgeting and conflict resolution language (“story I’m choosing to tell myself”).
  Yes and hopefully we'll start doing that monthly then so half of it is money and then half of it was like marriage specific and I told you on Sunday that I was like the line that we like learned and took away from it is to say.
• Mardi Gras campaign — Event · Referenced marketing event · 1 mention · first at 12:41
  Cited as part of Freda Mom’s controversial marketing (breastfeeding/public flashing comparison).
  Yeah. So, I feel like they're coming definitely come under fire. They're doing a Marty GR campaign right now, which I actually I don't agree with it personally, their decisions here, but I.
• St. Louis — Place · Referenced location · 1 mention · first at 32:53
  Setting for the Magic House slide incident (a mom fail story).
  Okay, this next mom fail. This happened recently, actually. We went to the Magic House in St. Louis over winter break. Did I tell you this story?
• Disney — Place · Referenced place · 1 mention · first at 27:36
  Used in an anecdote about free feminine products in restrooms and kids treating them like souvenirs.
  That was a thing at Disney cuz in the women's restrooms at Disney, they have free feminine products.
• Nashville — Place · Referenced travel location · 1 mention · first at 9:51
  Mentioned as a context for increased scrolling/screen time while away from kids.
  Just in Nashville. I really got to get under control again, though, because I was like just without kids.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 We had Santa take the binky. If you can have a fictional character take your binky.

0:04 TJ now hates Christmas and Santa. Our kids had not seen a Nerf gun before. Griffin wanted to play with it and he didn't know what to do. And I'm like, you just push this. Shoot under. This one is unhinged. Don't mess with lunch.

0:19 Honestly, love that. Three meals a day is crazy. It's crazy. With toddlers, they don't eat that much food. Their marketing and their branding on their packaging is very sexual. Is it enough for you guys to not buy freedoms anymore?

0:40 Welcome back to Always Here. We're your hosts Abby Howard and Abby Howard and we are here once again to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor.

0:51 Should we just say the whole thing together? Yeah. I was kind of like I feel like I have it memorized at this point.

0:55 Yeah. Hey, we're getting professional here. I I'm down. I like it. Okay, we have a big week. I feel like this

1:01 I feel like we have a million things to talk about. I could yap a long time today.

1:06 I know. We got a lot of big segments. I'm excited. We do. We do. Um let's just kick it off with what's been going on in our life.

1:13 Life updates. We had a birthday girl in the house. Addie is now 21 years old. A such a baby. He's actually 25.

1:24 I almost texted you happy 26th birthday. So, good thing I didn't. 25 now. It was good. It was fun. First birthday as a mom. So, that really

1:35 changes things. That's sweet. So, Abby came over and watched Belle that night. So, Blake and I got to go out to dinner.

1:42 We had a really fun recording day on my birthday, which is kind of fun. Oh, yeah.

1:46 You had a fun recording day. Mhm. A video will come out soon. We brought a lie detector in.

1:50 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I ask him to do that and I Caleb and I was like, "What do we talk about?" I was like, "No, we have questions prepared for you guys if you wanted to do it."

1:58 If you wanted I actually have them in my bag right now. Sorry. I still like to see those questions.

2:01 It was very last minute. It was very intense. It was very last very intense, but it was funny.

2:06 It was a fun day. And now Add's 25. I stopped aging mentally at 25. So, I think 25 is a great year. And I think I just like sat on that one for a while.

2:14 Yes, I'm sitting on 23. It's too much. I think it's too young. I think I've said that before.

2:19 23. I keep telling people like, "Yes, we're in our young 20s." And then I'm around 23 year olds and there is a stark contrast.

2:26 You feel it? Yeah. Like I am not 23. I I feel that. I'm like I can't I don't feel like I could say that yet, but sometimes I'm around like 20 and 21 year olds and I'm like

2:35 I'm starting to feel older than you. Maybe it's cuz I have a baby now and I'm like been married for a few years. It's still the freshness of all of it, but I'm like,

2:44 "Wow, I am getting older. I really don't know how to talk to high schoolers. I feel like they're the hardest group.

2:51 I think in my head I'm like my peers and then I'm probably like the old lady. I think middle schoolers I feel like are harder to talk to

2:59 really than high schoolers. I feel like middle schools middle schoolers are just children.

3:03 Babies. So yeah, they're so so babies. But then I look back and I think or think back to what I used to talk about and think about in middle school and I'm shook into my core.

3:14 Not instant. I remember I switched from a Catholic elementary school to public school and I just learned so much that first week.

3:23 What's wild is that I went to public school the whole time and I never learned anything.

3:28 I had such a bubble. Um it was good. So happy birthday to Addie. Thank you guys.

3:34 Um yeah, our in-laws came in town this weekend. Me and Aby's in-laws. We had a busy weekend. It was I mean it was so fun having them here.

3:41 Yeah. You guys were gone for a lot of it. We were gone for three nights. We actually came back early cuz we were just like we missed the kids.

3:48 Three nights is really the max I feel like and we got there late one night but no it was good and it was busy and then it was like the perfect amount like it started to just feel like a good time to leave and come back home but we went to a marriage conference. Um learned about money. I hate talking about money.

4:06 What did you Excuse me. What did you learn? I learned that we do need to have a budget and talk about that.

4:11 I know it's so important. I talk about all the time on my accounts and then every time Kayla brings it up I'm like oh look at the budget

4:17 it pushes me into like a fear space like with money which is like supposed to be the opposite like if I actually have this conversation I wouldn't feel that way right

4:25 so we do need to do that and so we have it on the calendar for the top of March to do

4:30 yes and hopefully we'll start doing that monthly then so half of it is money and then half of it was like marriage specific and um I told you uh on Sunday that I was like the line that we like learned and took away from it is to say to your spouse whenever you're like having some type of conflict or dispute or not even like even just like thinking something about them that's not positive that you say the story I'm choosing to tell myself is and then you kind of can say which sounds wordy but I feel like when you put it into practice it's really good because it's like taking ownership of like this is not necessarily true

5:07 like this is what I'm gathering but this also is how I'm feeling feeling and it kind of just makes you feel like so you don't go to contempt like in a relationship where you just like believe these nasty things about your partner and then it's really hard to recover from.

5:20 Yeah. But uh yeah, I think that was a good line to cuz that was like for the conference of like how to resolve conflict I think.

5:27 So practically how I'd use that let's just use the example Caleb was like I hate your shirt and then I would go to him and say

5:32 the story that I'm telling myself is that you think I'm ugly and you hate me. Yeah.

5:36 That's how you would Okay. Okay. Yeah. Or like say that's an extreme obviously or say like they're on their phone like say your spouse is on their phone a lot like this is the example I think they use like choosing to tell myself is that you don't care about me or you don't enjoy spending time with me and so you're looking for

5:54 uh I'm not an expert on this but that's what I gathered from it and I feel like that would be like useful like a useful line.

6:00 I feel like that kind of cuts the chase like it's not like I'm dancing around oh like something you said could hurt my feelings. It's kind of like hey this is what I believe.

6:07 Yeah. Yeah. Is that wrong or And it's like why it's bothering you too cuz it's not like cuz then I feel like it can become passive. It's like oh is there something really interesting on your phone like but then it's like getting to the point of like why this bothers you and it's like oh that's not and if that's not true then you can clear that up and then they can also hopefully change your behavior as well.

6:23 I'm such a passive aggressive person. Really? Yeah. I didn't I didn't know I was but I am. And in my head I'm telling myself that I'm nicely pointing out something that's bothering me. But then Caleb's like will you just tell me what's up? Like instead of being passive,

6:38 I'm a straight up girl. No, I'm always like, "Oh, is something funny over there or something funny on your phone?" You know, like I'm just so instead just be like, "Hey, put your phone down.

6:47 Put your phone down." Or the story I'm choosing to tell myself. No, the story I'm choosing to tell myself is that you hate me. You don't want to spend time with me.

6:56 No, that's really good, Abby. That's a good tip. I was telling you, I feel like after this weekend, we had so much fun with our in-laws and just coming off of the crazy weeks that we talked about last week. I obviously sound congested because I am. So yesterday I took a sick day and Abby said, "What does a sick day look like when you're a mom?"

7:13 I was like, "What does that mean?" And you said, "And it was nice." Yeah, it was nice. I was just in my PJs literally all day until 3 p.m. And then I took an everything shower and that was the day.

7:23 How did you take a shower at 3 p.m.? Well, they're napping. Oh, okay. But I also did have to shower with the dog. So, it wasn't like a relaxing everything. It was literally I showered everything, myself and the dog.

7:33 Ew. Oh my gosh, Louis is a horse, so I the only way that I can shower him is if I physically bring him in to the shower and I have a handheld, but I get so wet because he's massive that I just shower anyway.

7:45 Have you uh recharged your clippers? Caleb bought new ones. Okay. We came over to their house on Valentine's Day evening right when we got home. And Louis's legs are like long and fur long and fatted. Like

7:59 his head and body are fully shaped and then his he looks like a butt. Yeah. What's the septar?

8:06 Is that what it is? Where it's like half centaur. Yeah. He's very hurt in the bottom.

8:11 He looked rough. It looks so bad. Yeah. I know. The kilpers gave out halfway through his haircut so we had to buy new ones.

8:18 Well, yeah. Yeah, busy weekend for everyone. Yeah, it was good. That made me think of I texted Abby and Matt last night because Blake came up with this idea that you guys should do a parent swap. Like you guys swap kids and dogs

8:31 for a day for a video. And I'm just like, or you could just do the dogs. And it's like, madam, you have to give Louis a haircut.

8:37 Oh my gosh. To shower. It would take six hours. I would have to call somebody. Kayla's back hurts. And by the end of it, he's so frustrated. He's just

8:45 Does he stay still? Um, sometimes. Yeah, he's gotten better at it over the years. No, not for me, but he does for Caleb. Yeah, that's a good idea, Addie. I like that idea. We'll have to do it. Caleb did so many house projects this weekend. He worked almost 80 hours last week. And then he came home and Hey, baby, the ceiling fan. Like, you have a day, you know? So, he did the ceiling fan and then he switched out our garbage disposal cuz it went out and he replaced our sink faucet. He's been on a tear.

9:11 When I found out that your garbage disposal was out, I was like, "Oh crap, I've put a lot of things down." was out at the tearful party, but a lot of stuff backed up and I was like, "How do we handle this?" Um, so Kale just replaced it.

9:23 I know. It never smelled thankfully. Yeah. At least not that I knew of. No, my disposal smells and it works. So,

9:29 yeah. Yeah, that's impressive. So, he did a lot of things around the house which was great.

9:32 Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. All right, that's enough of that. I am really anxious to talk about this week's Wow, this is Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, we told you what it was, which is against the rules. You adjusted it.

9:45 You did. This is when I knew what was happening. I had a little extra screen time.

9:50 Oh, Aby's back online. Just in Nashville. I really got to get under control again, though, because I was like just without kids.

9:56 Yeah. I was like, I'm just going to scroll. Going to scroll. And um I don't actually fully understand what's happening, but I think I get the gist of it.

10:05 Same. Yeah. We're talking about the freedom mom scandal and everything going on with their company and their marketing tactics because they are salacious.

10:14 You would have thought that their product was like an adult toy of some sort. I know. So, okay, let's give a little recap for the people maybe don't know what's going on. Freedom Mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products for moms. Super super popular.

10:29 That's all they do. That's all they do. And they're very good at what they do. Their products are amazing. everything.

10:35 Yeah, I love love love the snot sucker. I think it saved my kids lives multiple times. I'm not kidding. That's a I think gets the snot out of their brains. It's really effective.

10:45 Um, so I feel like it's been a little all their things. We had the nail clippers, the postpartum. Well, first of all, the postpartum get a lot of their breastfeeding things like the warmers, the pads, like all that stuff. We had

10:58 the baby nail clippers, the We had the thermometer, everything. Yeah. So, they're very successful company. And I feel like it's just started to come to light that their marketing in their branding on their packaging is very sexual, which I've never noticed before.

11:16 Never noticed it. And I We're so tired. Who's looking closely? And also, it's a baby product. Like, I'm just not expecting anything exciting on the packaging to be honest.

11:24 I always thought it was like cheeky and fun. Yeah. But I never thought I was gross

11:31 talking about threesomes, right? And pulling out and it's so it's so crazy to think about. I'm confused say it without like feeling disgusting about it.

11:41 I'm confused why it's also just now becoming like a like why are we how are people how are we just noticing this? And also what about just maybe just someone brought it up?

11:51 I don't know. I thought it was AI to be honest when I first saw these. I literally was like that's not real. I've used like you know what I mean? And some of these posts that have come to light are from 2020.

12:00 That's what I heard. Like the one that I thought was really crazy, there's a a picture of a baby. It's a cartoon and it's a rectal thermometer and it says, "The closest your husband will ever get to a threesome." That was the caption on their Instagram post. That's crazy. That's crazy. So crazy.

12:17 Yeah. So, I feel like they're coming definitely come come under fire. They they're doing a Marty GR campaign right now,

12:23 which I actually I don't agree with it personally, their decisions here, but I actually think it's kind of interesting and I think it's appropriate for the setting of Marty Gro. They're doing a they're trying to like get away the stigma of breastfeeding being weird in public.

12:39 Yeah. Which is great. Yes. And so they're saying if you can flash your boobs at Marty Graer beads, then you can be able to put your boobs out to breastfeed.

12:47 Totally agree with that. Yeah. I don't think that's like inherently wrong. Um, I did block them on Instagram when I saw the post because their first post on their feed was just a girl flashing her boobs at Marty girl. Full boobs.

13:00 The last two posts are both censored. Like I can't click on them unless I click. I would like to see them.

13:04 And they still have them up. Yeah. And they haven't posted anything since um a week ago.

13:08 Yeah. They've been coming under a lot of heat. Yeah. I just think it's a little concerning. I understand the marketing mind behind it. Like, hey, sex sells. If you do things that are outrageous, it creates viral content that people then talk about, which then promotes sales. So, I understand like the rage bait side of it. I understand like the wanting to get people talking side of it. Um, and being bold, but I do feel like it's missed a mark. And I also think about like the Balenciaga scandal a few years ago where they did the same thing. And I think it's different when it comes to kids. It's like you can't be really pushing the boundary in this realm when it comes to children.

13:47 I just got chills. You mentioning the bullet thing. Do you remember that, Abby?

13:52 I don't know enough about it. They had a campaign that was really It just promoted it looked made kids look like they were in really inappropriate like

14:00 SNM like type stuff. It was really inappropriate. So yeah, I just feel like it's kind of tonedeaf.

14:06 Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I think is it enough for you guys to not buy Freedom Moms anymore?

14:12 Um, I was actually thinking about that. I am not one to ever really like be a cancellor. I will still buy the snot sucker, but if there's two products next to each other and one is a Freedom Mom and one is a different brand and they're the same quality, I will go with the other brand.

14:28 Yeah, I'll probably still get the I just I did really like the product. I mean, I I again, it's I don't like what they've done, but also I think I probably will still buy.

14:40 Yeah. Are you the same? Yeah. I mean, I haven't used a lot of that stuff because it's like all mostly baby, but I also remember being like that was usually one of the only retailers that sold that category in store. So, I feel like it would require an extra step.

14:53 I I think for me and more specifically what I'm saying is like the postpartum packaging like that was so great. It literally is a diaper caddy with all the things in it. I just put it on there. Or the breast stuff that you can just get a package of all the things you need. I'm sure there are other people who do that as well and so I'd be open to it, but I've been seeing people throw away the things they currently have.

15:12 Oh, I mean, I understand why people do. I'm like, "Yeah, if you want to do it, you know, I agree with that decision."

15:18 Um, I think there's like a huge market now. Like you're saying, Addy, there aren't a lot of other brands that do these kits that do. So, if you're a brand that wants to step in the market, now there's kind of a gap. Freedom Mom's been pushed to the side a little bit. you can take over

15:34 and do it better. Yeah. This isn't something you really forget. Like I feel like this is something you're going to kind of remember.

15:40 It is so interesting that they've probably had this on their marketing for a long time and

15:45 we haven't noticed it yet. I feel like the most crazy things though were live on their Instagram,

15:51 right? Which I didn't follow or like look at closely. Yeah. I never did. Um, but you see this pattern brought throughout their like whole thing. Like what was it

16:02 that that's what I was saying a lot of their captions and their content is kind of on in that like joking about like things sexually and so it's interesting that we've never known 446,000 people follow their Instagram which is I'm sure has been dropping. I'm sure people are unfollowing. So I can only imagine how many people were following before. I mean, I'm sure it started just as like funny parent humor stuff, which was a great tactic, and then I probably just went too far.

16:27 That's what this says. It says others are saying that brand intended to use adult humor to make light of the realities and frustrations of parenting, not to sexualize children, but acknowledge it cross the line for many.

16:36 Yeah. Which I don't have they apologized yet? Not on Instagram. Okay. That's a bad look.

16:43 Okay. what the company has said so far. At the moment, Freda Baby has not issued a detailed public apology addressing all the specific claims.

16:51 Um, and that's if we're telling people today's date, that is Wednesday the 18th. So,

16:56 well, we're going to keep the conversation going for at least another week because this will be posted a week from now. But

17:01 yeah, that the things that really bother me like the the boob stuff, I'm like, yeah, I think breastfeeding should be normal. Like I think that

17:09 I just didn't like the the sexual nature of this the thermometer the threes something is so beyond inappropriate that it's like

17:18 how are we just now right bringing that like that's it makes me actually like like I feel like I could like it brings up so many like anger sad like deep sadness just like it's like that should be the safest person is that baby's dad and mom and like that is just not

17:35 yeah that is so whoy even goes there to think of making that joke. I don't know.

17:40 And so, what do you think if they rebranded their cuz I again, we just talked about cancel culture and being like, "Okay, I'm never going to buy them ever again." What if they come out there like we see at this cross the line and they change their packaging? Like that's great.

17:51 Is that I think it's always good to for people to be able to like I I understand. I feel like remember the Paul brothers. I think Logan and Jake Paul talked about this a lot. Sometimes you just get blinded in the pursuit of a goal

18:06 and you just lose sight of your northstar and sometimes you just take things too far

18:11 and so I think it's that is where I think cancel culture can sometimes be good. It's like I don't not cancel culture but I think calling out a company when they have crossed the line and taken it too far. It's good to help point them back.

18:21 Right. No, I would give them an opportunity to apologize. I would still buy their product for like a future baby. But I

18:28 like you said if there was like a thing where I was like, "Oh, there's both." I'd maybe opt for the other one. Just I don't know. I think about Scrub Daddy because Scrub Daddy has I think they have very similar marketing tactics to Scrub Daddy,

18:40 you know, the sponges. Yeah, it's a sponge. That's what I'm saying. It's like the product is so different that it with Scrub Daddy, it's like funny and makes sense, but for a baby product, it's like most precious innocent life form

18:52 on this planet, right? Wasn't there another one? I feel like there was another There was like the Yeah, she did post other options for like their signature products. Oh, who did?

19:01 Her name is Jordan Lee Douly. Do you follow her? I don't follow her, but I know who she is.

19:04 She um has like other baby brands that like have like similar nasal aspirators or thermometers or like wind windy pipe alternatives, which is like their gas reliever

19:17 and postpartum care alternatives as well. So, which I feel like that's for me what

19:22 was the main thing I really liked was the postpartum like women's care, which at that point I'm like we can make some like jokes about that. That's just us and our body.

19:31 Even still, like maybe not. But like that's fine. It's really crosses the lines exclusively with the baby thing for me.

19:38 Yes. Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. I only really use their snot sucker. See, I didn't like that cuz I always just felt like snot was going to get in my mouth.

19:46 I like the used a snot sucker ever. Well, Belle's nostrils are too small. You also have to change those. You're supposed to change those are single use.

19:53 Yes. I didn't realize that for a long time. Oh, and I just couldn't keep up with the single use thing.

20:00 No, it's not a single use for me. Okay. Gross. I do change them out frequent. No, not frequently. Every once in a while, but

20:10 that's what got me when they said that nasal respirator. Well, no one should be sharing those anyway. Exactly. It's fine.

20:15 But yeah, once they said it was single use, I was like, "Oh, I'm out. I like the bulbs." Just because,

20:20 you know, well, I would say that was a marketing fail. Marketing fail. Lesson learned, everybody.

20:25 Lesson learned. And you know, I feel like we all fail. Oh, we comparing I'm not comparing us to freedom mom, but we have some mom fails, too.

20:33 Sure. And so do you guys. And you guys were generous to share some of your mom fail. So, we thought it'd be funny if you We shared some of the ones that you guys submitted and then we'll talk about our mom fails and then we'll give some of our mom hacks.

20:45 Fun. I love a good mom fail. Thank you. If we can't laugh about some of this stuff, we're we're gone.

20:52 We're losers. We're done. We are done. The biggest bail of them all. That is the biggest bail of all cuz no one's a perfect parent. We I feel like everyone is the first to say that, but sometimes we get a little bit ashamed.

21:03 It's true. But let's just laugh together. That one. Do we want to start with our fails or their fails?

21:08 Let's start with some of their fails. Okay. This is from Jessica. She clipped the binky clip onto her son's skin when he was 2 months old.

21:16 Sad. That's That's actually a really sad one. Is it like screaming? You don't know why. Oh,

21:23 that one's a bummer. That one's sad. That one's a bummer. This one just says, it's from Kinsey. It says, "Bought our kids iPads."

21:30 Thumbs down. That's all. That is something that that's a hard and fast rule. Hey, I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I feel like our phone was acting like that for a little bit, like in the car, just to get them to like stop screaming

21:43 and then we had to really nip that in the bud cuz I was like, "This is no different than an iPad if I'm handing you my phone." Right. And so it's just a it's a tough one to take back is the problem.

21:53 Springtime is hard to reel back in. She said that's all. That's all. This is from

21:57 You live and you learn, Kenzie. You do live and you learn. Uh this is Mariah. This one's a little crazy. She said, "I put Add's lips in it."

22:08 This is crazy. I put cayenne pepper on my 9-month-old's food to get him used to spice. Quote, I dev traumatized him. There is something to that though. There was a little girl that I babysat. Her family was Indian and so their cuisine was different.

22:25 Yeah, you have spicy cuisine. You got to get your kid used to it. She was way more tolerant of it than I was. We were eating fish. She was like one.

22:32 We were eating fish and the mom also left enough food for me. It was a more of like a mommy's helper situation. I was there the whole time.

22:39 And so I was eating my fish and I cried pepper's really spicy. So spicy. That's a crazy I'm like chili pepper. What? or chili powder would have been like still kind of spicy. But

22:50 I ate my fish and I was like literally felt like there was steam coming out of my ears. I had no tolerance. I had the whitest food ever growing up. And I literally did not know how to ask this woman for water and milk. I go to the bathroom. The door is cracked. I'm drinking from the bathroom sink and she comes in. She's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." I'm like,

23:12 I will never forget that. I was humiliated. Meanwhile, the one-year-old's housing, but she loves the fish.

23:18 She loves it. We had these same fish. She's like, "More cayenne, mom. She can't even talk and she's just eating such spicier food than me." But I mean, that's hilarious. Maybe not spice.

23:28 I don't know. Caleb tried to give CJ hot sauce. And yeah, I think he didn't like that either. Just like a little dollop on his pinky. And um I don't know. I have like the mildest tongue and I think my son has inherited that.

23:39 Yeah, we gave him that elote chip from Trader Joe's and he started crying. He started crying like rubbing his tongue to try to get it off. It was really sad.

23:48 That was also G. That was also kill. We've all been there. Mariah, this one is from Mama Converse. My daughter ate an entire tub of margarine while I had a shower. Diaper was bad.

24:01 Entire tub of marine. Oh no. I know. But honestly, you're like, "What's When you're in the shower,

24:07 we got to We got to weigh our odds here. I'd rather shower honestly cuz that's what's so scary. I just would sprint.

24:15 You were in the shower for five minutes and you come out and you're like, "What am I going to find?

24:20 I'm scared." And when it's quiet, it's worse. Oh, you know it. Um, this is Mazy. She said, "I hid my toddler's Valentine's candy, so we forgot about it." And I eat some each night.

24:31 Everyone does that. I've done that. Uh, this is from Sally. I dropped my phone on my baby's head during a 3:00 a.m. feed.

24:38 I've done that before. I feel like I probably have too. Oh, that one's sad. That is so sad. What a bad wake up.

24:45 I feel like in middle school I used to do that where I'd lay like this and just break my nose. The worst.

24:51 It's just so dumb. Like why did I do that? Poor baby. My son Grace, this is from Gracie. My son was crawling around making a sucking noise and I thought he just learned a new sound. Then he coughed. A leg flew out. The kid was sucking on a cricket for like an hour. Thanks. He coughed and a leg flew out. He was sucking on a cricket.

25:13 Cricket's edible, though. I mean, there could be worse things. I think there's good protein.

25:16 Yeah, that feels that feels good. Actually great for him. This one's from Emory. It says, "Breastfeeding a blanket in the middle of the night. Not my baby. Lols. That's sleep deprivation. Breastfeeding a blanket." Okay. With Vivian, I was trying to put her pinky in her mouth, but she was in the bassinet. I kept trying to get it. I was like, "Why is she not taking it?" I open my eyes. I look over. I'm putting it in her ear. She's like, "That's not gonna do it."

25:49 Augur said, "My son was on my lap. A spider crawled onto his hand. I shoved him off the floor so fast." Sad.

26:01 That's just what I was saying. You can't slow it down once it started. I mean, honestly, good reaction time.

26:08 Good reaction time. This past weekend at my house, I was like, "What kind of bug is that?" And you just go

26:14 a dead. That was so aggressive. I'm afraid of bugs. Are you afraid? Yes. No. That wouldn't What kind of bug is this? A dead bug.

26:23 Dead bug. I think it's funny that we're reading these cuz it's all these people are also recognizing their air fails. It's not like they're like, "This is a great thing I did." Hey,

26:32 thank you guys for sharing. Less than ideal. Okay, this is a longer story that someone submitted. I couldn't find out where my pads and tampons were going for three months straight. Wow. Every month I thought every month I thought I was stocked up for the next month and yet somehow they were always completely gone when I needed them. This week we had painters come in to paint a few rooms. They ended up having to move a few pieces of furniture and I was helping move some stuff out of the way when one of the guys moved our coffee table. The coffee table is pretty big, but also super low to the ground, so you can't really look under it. Underneath was a massive pile of all my missing products. I kid you not, half a year's worth. Apparently, my toddler had been transporting my stuff from the bathroom drawer and had been shoving it under the table for safekeeping or something. The guy was obviously taking it back. He just tried

27:22 to pretend it wasn't there and stepped over it all. I was mortified. Anyways, make sure you don't wait three months to vacuum under any piece of furniture, especially if you've had toddlers.

27:33 It's hilarious. The movie guys like, "Oh, sorry. Excuse me, ma'am." That was a thing at Disney cuz in the women's restrooms at Disney, they have free feminine products.

27:41 Griffin, Auggie think they're souvenirs. Yeah, of course. They're just like pushing the button and getting them. And I'm like, "Those are for women. Those are for women. Put them back before I take them."

27:51 Dang, what an expensive hobby that kid had. Taking all your tampons. Okay, this one. She said, "My bestiey's motherhood mishap." She was cleaning the bathroom in the new house they had just bought, and her one-year-old son was playing behind her. When she turned around, she found him playing with the toilet brush and put putting it in his mouth. But the worst part is it was the previous owner's toilet brush, not even their own poopy germs.

28:19 That is so bad. I'm dying. That is so bad. I'm dying. I Oh my gosh. Oh, I think I I don't that would be a Caleb would have to handle that one.

28:28 I can't tell you how many times as a parent I say, "You have no idea where that's been from the Grinch."

28:36 You have no idea. You have no idea where it's been. That's great. Um, okay. This one says, "When I went to cut my daughter's nails for the first time, oh, so many of these learning lessons. I ended up clipping part of her finger. So much blood. She was fine. I ended up passing out twice, seeing all her blood. Oh my gosh.

28:54 Oh my gosh. This is coming from a nurse who has been elbows deep inside of women's ears.

29:00 It's your own kid, baby. You're just like, I know. I think about it all the time. I'm like, I'm not grossed out by bloody things or gashes. Like, I love saying that, but I imagine it on CJ and I immediately want to throw up. I know. Okay, last one. My husband forgot to put a diaper on her baby before bed one night. We didn't realize until I woke up to feed her at 2:00 a.m. and couldn't figure out why she was so happened last night.

29:20 Matt did that last night. Matt didn't put a pull-up on Griffin. The first diaper that I ever put on CJ right after he was born, um I put it around his thighs and not didn't even cover his butt.

29:31 And Caleb lifted him up and goes, what are you doing? I go, I just had surgery.

29:37 I just had surgery. I don't know. Oh, thank you guys for sharing those. Those are awesome. We

29:43 relatable. Yeah, so relatable. I feel like we've all done some of these. Um so we thought we'd share some of ours. Here's my first mom fail.

29:51 Okay, I think you've heard this story before. Our backyard is very safe and so I'll just let CJ go out the doors and just play in the backyard. And he was maybe a one and a half. I would never put his shoes on him to go outside because that keeps him away from the dog poop and the rocks. So, he just goes on the turf barefoot and he's usually concealed. Well, this day I put his shoes on him. I don't know why. And I let him and Louis run out the door.

30:14 He was recent. No, he was like one and a half. Oh. Um, I let him run out the door. I go into my pantry to grab a snack to bring outside with me. I look out the window of my pantry that goes into my backyard and all I see is CJ's hand and my horse of a dog's pee rod just just he's peeing so hard and CJ's hand he's just sticking it in his stream and I like run out there. I go CJ no. And he looks me dead in the eyes and one word goes hot.

30:48 Probably was hot. So he immediately got a bath. He's just covered in so gross. It was so gross. I said, "Okay, no more of that.

30:58 No more. I will be out there immediately with you." Dang it. Snowshoes. Honestly,

31:03 him and Louis go out on shifts. And go on shifts. This one's not even funny. This one just still makes me sad.

31:09 Oh, great. Okay. Different vibe. Everything's fine. But okay, so one of our kids is sleeps like a rock and one of our kids not so much. And so we never like our youngest just like doesn't wake up in the night, like consistently never does.

31:26 One night we heard him make like a couple sounds, look on the monitor, don't see anything, and then he just went right back to sleep. It wasn't like he was even crying, but he just kind of was like making sounds, which was really unusual cuz he like goes to sleep, stays asleep the whole night.

31:38 Right. That next morning when I get him out of his crib, puke everywhere. I was so sad.

31:45 Oh, he's just sleeping in it. He's just sleeping in it. Sleeping in it. Sleeping in it. It smelled so bad.

31:53 Oh gosh. I was like, buddy, a makes me so sad. And so now I'm like, that just makes my anxiety with this freaking sleep and monitor thing just so much worse.

32:05 And so after that, every time I'm like, go check him right out. Right now. He's like, he literally just sneezed. Like everything is fine. But like I just felt so guilty that he like slept in that. But

32:14 yeah, I actually as a kid did that. I was a little older. I remember throwing up um around me and my mom came up the next morning cuz I guess I normally wake up early. I did not come down. So she finally came up to check on me and she's like when I was coming up the stairs, I was smelling like bad smells and I was laying there fully awake with my hands in the air. And she goes, "Abby, why didn't you come get me?" And I look at her, I go, I didn't want to get my hands dirty. So, I just laid in my I'm covered covered in vomit, but didn't want to get my hands dirty. Me and Matt are the same. Oh my gosh.

32:48 Okay, this next um mom fail. This happened recently, actually. We went to the Magic House um in St. Louis over winter break. Did I tell you this story?

32:56 Mm- Maybe. And they have this thing called uh it's like a super slide. Oh, I heard this from Teresa.

33:04 Such a bad story. It's for ages three plus. CJ is two and a half and he's like a big kid. So, and he was a little scared. So, we were encouraging it. We're like, CJ, you're going to do great, buddy. You can go down the slide. It's going to be so fun. You go down slides all the time.

33:17 So, it's like a threestory tunnel slide, and it's aluminum. It's large. And as you go down the steps, it has windows. As a parent, you can watch your kid as they're going down each level.

33:30 The visual image just came down. because we went on the same slide a week later or whatever it was.

33:35 Yeah. So, I was like, "Oh my gosh, I tell you what happened." Okay, so we're like cheering him on. We're encouraging. We're saying, "Cjac, go, you got this, buddy. Be brave." We send him down the slide. We start walking down the first flight.

33:46 Display window. Big display. Massive display window. I just see a washing machine KID TUMBLE DOWN AND

33:52 and aluminum. It's aluminum. CJ is tumbling down the slide, screaming. It's just like a flash of the pan just flashing past me just tumbling child. And I go, "Oh my gosh." And I start running.

34:08 Flights of stairs. It's three stories. It's three flights of stair. Like three big stories. So I'm running down the stairs and I'm yelling to my sisters at the bottom. I go CJ's falling.

34:19 He tumbled down the entire slide. He My sister's at the bottom to catch him. She says he comes down head first laying on his back. Okay. He started feet first forward.

34:29 How did that even happen? I think he put his feet down and tripped over him. I felt horrible. Horrible.

34:36 So, we only went down once. Only went down once and I said, "We're never doing that again."

34:41 We were stuck in that slide for a really long time. Oh my gosh. It was so It was like a movie. Like just a picture. You look It's just a flash of ah like down the window. It was horrible.

34:52 Teresa made this. Wait, was Teresa there? Uh, no. Um, you must have told me the story. I did tell her about it. Yeah. Yeah.

34:59 Okay. This one was This one was so bad. Okay. Let me preface this by saying we don't have Nerf guns in our house. I'm not strongly opposed to them, but I just feel like it's something that once we introduce

35:12 Oh, you're never going back. Never going back. And it will be I will find bullets everywhere. And I just feel like we need to have more conversations about them because they can actually seriously hurt your eye. Matt got really hurt by Nerf.

35:23 I know. I'm kind of anti and so and I don't even know but like little boys tend to just create guns out of anything

35:29 they do shooter shooters and I'm like they just made up the word shooters. I know go like weird even I feel like it will happen eventually but let me just say our kids had not seen a Nerf gun before. We're playing at someone else's house and Griffin brings it up to me and he's like mom like I want he wanted to play with it and he didn't know what to do and I'm like oh buddy look. And I'm like, I show him my gun and I'm like, you just push this to shoot under

36:04 so stupid. No one told me he's bringing a locked and loaded Nerf gun to me. He brought it to you. He's asking you to shoot him.

36:15 No, he's like, "How do you use it?" He didn't even ask me to He certainly didn't ask me to shoot him, but I'm like, "Oh, buddy, you see this?" I cry. I literally cry. I think it's really fun. You just

36:33 I don't know if I like this toy. The way he looked at me after the shock. I'll never forget it. It was literally like my own mom. the betrayal.

36:49 The betrayal he felt. I'm laughing. But also, I was like, "Oh my gosh." Oh my gosh.

36:54 The way that he just literally looked at me like my own mother. I dared treat me like this. I was like, I'm so And I was like, and that's a really good lesson.

37:07 Never aim it at your face. Never aiming at people's face. Sorry. I don't even I was someone else's face. They they went there's a witness to this.

37:20 There's a witness. I was like, "Oh my gosh." Oh my gosh. Sorry about that, buddy. Go play.

37:27 Thank goodness I didn't get his eye. Don't tell about so bad. That's so funny cuz that's so You know why that's funny? Because we all do it.

37:38 We all do it. I was like, "Oh, buddy. Let me just I was trying to show CJ how to use one of those punch balloons. It's on a string." Okay, I didn't hit him, but I go, "CJ, look." And I went boom and it just broke my chandelier. That light went pop. It's so fun. I had it for two seconds. I go, "That's an outside balloon, buddy. It's an outside balloon. He's an outside balloon.

38:09 Oh my gosh, that was so That's a good one, Adam. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, moment.

38:14 Thank you for your transparency. Okay, so this other one was recent. CJ transitioned from his crib to his big boy bed. And you know, they have to learn how to sleep, not moving in all directions at night. So, you get in the pillow and the blanket. And I was like, well, it's a nap first, so it's fine if he doesn't sleep. Well, he slept. He fell asleep fine. He was like, I love this bed. I'm going to fall asleep. Aby's rolling her eyes. He's always been a very easy sleeper. Um, so I'm like working and the floors in our house are all tile, like hard hard tile. And I don't know, this was such a mom fail.

38:50 All of a sudden, I'm working and I hear conchk silence. He does have long pauses.

38:58 He stops breathing for so long. And I run in there cuz I know immediately this kid just fell out of the bed. He's laying out of his crib fully upside down stuck in a scorpion. His feet are touching the back of his head and he's just not breathing, just stunned. Like he's think about it. He was in a dead sleep. A dead sleep. And he's upside down, head on the floor just crying. And I'm like, I am such an idiot. Why didn't I put a pillow, a blanket, why didn't I move his foam pad just two inches to cover the floor? Poor kid. head injury that day.

39:34 Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't even the one I was thinking of. Oh, what was my I was thinking of when you're in Missouri.

39:41 Oh, we should insert an image. Visual aid for this one. This one we had CJ, you know, like he's been in his taller bed. So, he's like, "You got it, buddy. A mattress on the floor. We're not going to bring your pack and play. You'll sleep great." The kid is poor kid is terrified to fall asleep on this mattress in the middle of the floor. He wakes up. I guess he fell off the bed in the middle of the night. wakes up under like the bed frame of a of the bed next to him. The mattress off of it. Well, Caleb was going to have him sleep in it on the bed frame. I was like, "Kale, this bed's too tall. Like, I think he's going to fall off." So, he moved the mattress on the floor. Sure did fall off underneath the other bed.

40:15 Woke up horrified. He woke up not breathing. So scared. This show deep sleeper.

40:21 He's a really deep sleeper. We'll insert an image of him just under this bed. That would be scary.

40:26 Yeah, it would be so scary. So, I learned if you're transitioning your kid, put some pillows on the floor.

40:31 Okay, this one somewhat recent. Um, so I went to go buy dog food and my friend works where I buy the dog food and she carries the food out with me.

40:41 It's very heavy. She's very strong. And so, um, I had the kids with me. I put them in the car, but I could tell that we were going to chat a little bit. She was she had some things going on. So, I wanted to be a good friend and like obviously give her my full attention. I'm like, I'm not going to strap them in their car seats. They can just roam around the car while I'm talking. We have white leather seats, which that's on us. I mean, seriously, can't be mad when those get dirty.

41:07 Problem is, they found ink pens. And so, we actually got so Matt apparently got so much heat on Instagram or what Tik Tok or whatever cuz he showed him cleaning the car and he showed like they're like,

41:19 "You let your kids run crazy like and it's like no, I was actually a foot from them." But um they clearly found a good activity because we had blue ink pen all over the white leather seats. And you know what? I didn't even really say anything to them cuz I was like, "That's on me."

41:36 Yeah. Yeah. You're like, "This was I love these two accessible." I left a two and a three-year-old in a car near a pen.

41:42 I mean, I'm right next to them the whole time and I was like peeking in. I'm like, "Oh, they're having fun.

41:46 They're carcin they're using their imagination. They're using their resources and usually a car is trash." Gosh, I'm like, there's so many fun things for them to play with. Nope. That way they found the pin of all things. And I And it Oh, it doesn't come out. And so we used um acetone.

42:05 Yeah. Took strip the the leather. Stripped the leather. So you just have ink pen. It's there.

42:12 It's there. So what does the leather look like now? So the parts where the acetone was, it's like not even white. Exactly. It's a totally different finish. And it started to go to like gray.

42:21 Perfect. Whatever. Well, now you just need to color the rest of the seats with the marker.

42:24 Just make it even. Oh, acetone. I was like, you know what? It's just got to It's just It's going to look that way.

42:30 We'll keep this car forever. It's ours. That's great. That's a good fail. My last one is a newborn one cuz Addy said she wants to hear a newborn one.

42:38 We're here. Um when CJ switched, he started doing formula at like 6 months and around seven months, Caleb was giving him a bottle and it took about 40 minutes for him to drink out of this bottle and he was like, "What is going on? Why? Well, it's taking him so long to drink this bottle. Well, turns out we had a seven-month old drinking out of a newborn nibble.

42:56 Uhhuh. That's a slow flow. Slow. Slow flow. He's like trying to get 8 ounces. Like 45 minutes.

43:04 Can I tell you my fail? You give him a coffee straw. No, literally. I did the opposite. I went to go order her new nipples cuz

43:12 we're she's getting to go up in size. Choked like crazy. Yeah, we actually only have that size. We only have the bigger size. She never had a newborn nipple.

43:20 What? No wonder she didn't like nurse first. She gave me that bottle. No wonder at first she was like, I don't really understood that.

43:28 No, she's like the milk comes out so much faster. She wanted the bottles. They were coming. They were She didn't want to have to work for it. She wanted to take it.

43:35 Gosh. So, I need to So, I ordered new ones and I put them on. I said, "These are the same size." I was like,

43:41 "Oh my goodness, Addie." Yeah. She's always had three plus month bottles nipples. Perfect.

43:49 Unfortunately. Oh my gosh. That's But she does great. She drinks bottles. Hey, maybe that's my mom hack. She actually took once we got a nipple show. She did breastfeeding and bottles perfectly fine.

43:58 Perfect. It could be a hack or a fail. There you go. That was great. Thanks for laughing with us.

44:04 Well, it wouldn't be fair if we just only talked about the fails. We got to also talk about the wins.

44:08 We got to talk about the hard and the hope. That's right. That's what this podcast is all about. And so, not necessarily the wins, but we're going to talk about some of our mom hacks, if you will.

44:19 I love it. Also, there's no judgment on any of those. I don't want to hear no judgment. We're not judging. We're not judging. We are all

44:26 That's why it's a fail. You live and you learn. You live and you learn. Yes. That's the whole point of having fails, honestly. So, that you learn. Don't do it again.

44:33 Don't do it again. That's right. Okay. Um, yeah, we have some hacks. Do you want to share your first hack?

44:37 Yes. This one's actually kind of like a serious one. I don't know. My first one was kind of serious, too.

44:42 Okay. This one h I've we actually did it when Griffin turned one and now he's three and a half. And so we've done this for two and a half years with both of our kids and it works really well for our kids. Now I'm going to say this like

44:54 every kid's different. I acknowledge that. And things that work for one of my kids does not work for the other vice versa, but this works for both of them.

45:00 And mine is have a family motto. And I feel like when they're young, honestly, you can start with one word. And usually we just say Howards are and then we say like one word that like so we had three and it was really hard for them to memorize it but they pick up quickly. Yeah.

45:16 And so we said Howards are patient, generous and kind. Now we have kind of like expanded on some of those. But patient, generous, and kind for us was a really good foundation because it gets a lot of those early misbehaviors like they don't want to share their toys. It's like well Howard are generous. So that what that's that's where it really helps is when you have a strong family motto when there is a misbehavior it you can see where they can put it in their category. It's like oh this is this isn't okay because this is what's true about us.

45:46 And so and I also think that they really remember I'm like oh but wait a minute Howards are and then they're like generous. So patient is another one because obviously little kids are like mom or like they need things now. There's no concept of it's really hard for them to conceptualize like tomorrow or you know five minutes even and so it's like we just we are patient and so that kind of helps like those like whining behaviors sometimes

46:09 and then kind that kind of gets every like the hitting the like yelling the just like the general like reaction towards other kids. Those three really surface them all. We've expanded now to also obedient and also we've workshopped a few others that haven't worked.

46:26 Like we were thinking good friends to others and I'm like it's just too wordy. Too wordy.

46:29 So we're going to switch it to servant-hearted because I feel like it wasn't even just about friends. Like it was more about like having service towards others and like we do these things. We make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes to serve others. So we're going to add those two. We've already added obedient and now we're going to work on servant harder because that feels a little bit

46:46 advanced. But I think we're ready for it. Yeah. So, I think having that family model though is just a really good thing because we can also say it for ourselves. It's like, I'm doing this because Howards are kind or like and

46:58 I think it can also age well with them. Totally. And so whenever there is like a misbehavior, just constantly going back to that family motto really feels like it makes it clear for them. And it's also really concise.

47:10 Yes. I stole that from you. I remember I didn't create this, by the way. I don't know who I got it from, but

47:14 it's good. It's really good. No, I heard you say that to Griffin when he turned one. You said, "Howards are generous." That's the first one I remember and I started using that with CJ when he got older. Um, it also is really convenient that we have the same last name.

47:24 Like, well, CJ, Howard's Howards are. Um, but yeah, the one I've been using a lot with CJ recently is Howards are Howards do hard things.

47:32 Oh, yeah. Because I feel like he's getting to a point where I'm like, why is he trying to Why are you being lazy? Where's the lazy?

47:39 Not lazy, but you know, like doesn't want to throw his trash or do so. I'm like, Howard's do hard things, buddy. And I think it's been really it's an uplifting way to instill um

47:49 what's the word? Instill values in them, right? And because I feel like to expand upon that too, I hate as a parent when I'm constantly like no, stop, don't. Whereas like this is like an actionable that they can do. It's like

48:01 and cuz otherwise I feel like it's like what do you want me to do? Like I this is what I like my instinct is telling me to do. Like this is what you know human nature is telling me to do. And like but it's like yeah and it's also not like you're you're being mean. It's like hey Howard's all of us are kind so I also have to abide by these

48:20 right and so I think it's like it makes a family unit which is cool right I really like that when you did that. That's a great number one tip.

48:26 Thank you. Um my number one tip is I prompt the response that I want to hear. And I actually heard you do this today with Griffin. You said hey we're leaving in one minute. Let me hear you say one minute. And then they said one minute. Um, and I do this with CJ where especially on the more serious things, um, if I'm asking him to put his shoes on and get in the car and like some of the stuff that obviously kids just do not want to do, but I feel like these are the things in parenting that can drive you crazy is when your kids aren't listening. And so I go, "Hey CJ, I'm not asking you, but I'm telling you, we're going to put her shoes on right now."

48:59 And then we're going to get in the car. Say, "Yes, ma'am." And then he'll say, "Yes, ma'am." And it's kind of like this like I'm prompting him and like hey I'm expecting the action and the response at the same and it's obviously respectful. Um and I feel like that's helped us a lot with like a no kind of

49:15 obviously he's not perfect at it but I feel like it's helped a lot with like the repeated begging to do things. It's like when he's like oh I have to respond and I'm going to say yes then I'm going to do it. And I think that's just been really really helpful and discipline and some of these like

49:29 parenting things are just not so fun. That's a really good one because I feel like it's easy as a mom of toddlers to just get so naggy. Like I feel myself doing I'm like I've told them a million times to do it. Like should I sing it in a song? Like what should I do to get them to actually listen? But I think you're right. Like prompting that response. It's like okay now I know that you know cuz sometimes I'm like I feel like I can't give you a consequence if I'm not even totally sure you heard me or we're listening. But it's like that val that like validates that okay you did hear the expectation. Now, if you make the choice to not do that, then my it's clear for me now that you're like, "Howards are obedient." And so, like this like And so, yeah. And also prompting respect, too, I feel like is really good, too.

50:14 Like, CJ, put your listening ears on. He goes, "No, mom. I'm not putting my listening ears." He's like, "No, mom. I'm not listening.

50:20 I'm not listening." I go, "Okay, well, we'll come back to this." These aren't foolproof. They're not foolproof.

50:25 These are these are ideal scenarios. These are our best scenarios. This one is unhinged and so once again don't want to hear it any judgment because it's not going to change.

50:37 Um, don't mess with lunch. Honestly, I love that, Abby. Okay, don't do lunchtime. Here's the thing. Three meals a day is crazy with toddlers. They don't eat that much food. They And so I found myself early on with them. I was like constantly like their little silicone plates like just dumping the entire plate and just starting again. And I'm like, "Oh, there's still lunch on it. Now it's dinner time, breakfast." Three times a day. It was driving me insane. And they also weren't eating food.

51:06 They don't care. They're playing. They weren't eating food. But if you present it as a snack,

51:12 and it literally is a snack, which essentially is what kids lunches often are anyway,

51:17 then it they eat more. It's more well-rounded because they look at and they're like they feel like they chose a snack, right? Like cuz I'll bring an option of fruit. I'll bring a like a protein option like a beef stick, cheese or yogurt,

51:31 like any fruit, banana, oranges, strawberry, anything. And then some type of like carbby option like chips, crackers, a granola bar,

51:40 and that's that's lunch. That counts as lunch. I'm not going to lay a plate down and ask you to sit down cuz I'm only going to do that fight twice a day.

51:48 Right. Exactly. I'm not doing that fight three times a day. That's crazy. That would be my whole day.

51:52 So, this is my advice to you. Don't do lunch. Don't do lunch. It's freeing. It's free. Yeah,

51:57 it's dumb. And then you can do it on the go. We'll go to parks and I'm like, "Oh, you want your snack?" And then I just make sure that they get like one of those three things. Sometimes some Hey, throw fruit snacks in there.

52:07 Yeah, of course. It's lunch time. It's lunch time. Snack time. It's a fun time of the day.

52:11 Don't do it. It's a trap. Seriously, I feel like I give CJ a full breakfast and then he's like snacks until dinner. He just eats all day long. So

52:19 that's all it is. And I'm okay with it. Yeah, their stomachs are small. Yeah, their stomachs are small. They don't need to fill up three times. No, they don't. That's crazy.

52:27 That's crazy. My second one's also food related. I was having a huge issue with breakfast time, especially once I had Vivian and I would have to nurse in the morning first thing and then by the time I'd be done nursing, CJ would be starving. Poor kid. And then it's like, okay, then I have to cook and prepare breakfast. And it was just too long of a time to go without feeding him. And so what I did was I would give him like a breakfast snack while I was nursing to then tide him over until breakfast. And I felt like that was like a real hack.

52:55 Like okay, I would give him one of those OOS protein yogurts and then I would give him his little vitamins and that would hold him for 25 minutes until I could go make the rest of his breakfast because the kid's very he loves his pancakes.

53:08 That's just a timeconsuming task. So, give your kid a little snack, like a little fruit, a yogurt before the breakfast.

53:15 That's a good one. Yeah. Thank you. I feel like we're always heading out the door too fast that I don't have the time. But if I was nursing, that would change things.

53:22 It was really hard when you're nursing cuz you're just sitting there and your poor kid is just waiting for you so patiently to be done, you know? And I'm like, I'm sorry.

53:31 You want to eat food, too, right? I know. Okay. This is also another like more serious one related to like behavior modification. I don't know what the word is we're to use for that consequences. But um I started to frame um whatever our kids had a consequence. I started to really make sure like whatever their consequence is I kind of like hold that certain like kind of lightly cuz I'm also not exactly sure what I want to do best. I recognize that usually like if there's certain behaviors, especially where someone else is getting hurt, they need to be away from that situation. I don't love the idea of timeout. So, usually they're in the same room as us, but just separate.

54:09 And they have to be like they can be with us, they can see with us. I would even sit with them, but we're with them. And we're kind of still workshopping that because I'm like, I don't know how effective this is. But I've noticed that the true like where I really feel like I'm reaching them after a misbehavior is the conversation after whatever the consequence was is done. And so Matt and I have both been really intentional with like how we frame like that resolution time. And it can be hard to do in the moment, but this framework made it like kind of seamless. So we say like why are you taking a break? And they can answer this younger than you think. Like why are you taking a break? And then they can usually answer and then it says, "What are you going to do differently next time?" And then, "What should you do now?" And those three questions like really helped me feel like, "Okay, whatever this consequence is, I don't

54:55 care that it's necessarily like they hate whatever they're doing, but that I can come to them and like really like have this resolution moment." It really has been so good. And now the kids are doing this on their own. So like in the car, they weren't listening great today after church. And um randomly Auggie, my youngest, he goes, "Sorry for not listening, Mom. I'm gonna listen next time."

55:18 Oh my god. And I was like, I love that because it's like, and I made a huge deal about it.

55:23 Yeah, of course you're going to praise that. That's amazing. Yeah. But I'm saying like these three questions made it really easy for both of us to just like always have this like baseline to go back to. So it felt like,

55:32 okay, we're not just like throwing consequences at you or like making you not play or be with your friends because mom and dad are mean. which also we say this I got this from our friend Val. She loves when we shak that she actually loves it.

55:49 Um she a really good she's a great parent and I learn a lot from her and so but something that she tells her kids I've started telling my kids is that everyone has consequences because it's true everyone on this earth has consequences and so I don't want them to think that that we're specifically picking on them which is also why we have like our family motto too. It's like we are all held to a standard

56:06 and we're held to a standard as a family and also just like as citizens, right?

56:11 And so anyway, that resolution like moment feels really it feels like a template that is easy to kind of make it all feel clear to everyone like what just happened. We don't want to just have tears to have tears or we don't want to just do these things. And so it really feels good and I feel like they can start to use it on their own too. Yeah, that's a great point.

56:30 Cuz I want them to be like, "Sorry, sorry." That uses that loses its meaning. Totally.

56:35 And so that has helped a lot. Yeah, that's really good. Um, something that I I think I've been thinking about a lot too is I just want the expectations to be really clear. And so I'm trying to figure out like, okay, the bigger like the more violent things are timeouts. Then I don't want every thing that needs to be that everything that requires a consequence to be a timeout. So I'm like, what are other creative things that I can do in like the discipline realm? And then I'm like, "Okay, but I don't want to lose the expectations where CJ's like, "What's it going to be this time? A big consequence or a little consequence?" And so, um, Kim, she's she's been a mentor for me.

57:09 She did this with her kids. I thought it was a really good idea. It's an if then chart. And I think when CJ gets a little older, I'll start implementing it when he can understand it better. But it's like, hey, if you hit your sister, then no fruit snacks or if you do this, then you get a timeout or if this, you know, it's like just really clear expectations of, hey, if you choose this choice, then this is it. And then it's like really easy as a parent to like reflect back to it. Cuz I think that's the thing that you're saying too that's really good is like they're able to reflect back

57:38 to these questions and be like, "Okay, this is how that applies." And it's like you're thinking through it and then it's it's not it doesn't always have to be such a big conversation. Yeah. if there's the expectation.

57:48 Yeah, that clarity is really good and also good for your husband like husband and wife to like okay the same expectation holds because

57:56 there's a chart or like there's this this is how we do it. Yes. Cuz sometimes that's hard like when Caleb's he works normal hours. So I'll do certain things or I'll try different things with discipline and then he'll come home and it's like wait no no no I wasn't doing that today you know like so it's like we had to stay on the same page and that's like a huge part of

58:12 and now it's a learning time but also it is good to start doing those things early cuz they are really they're really smart. They pick up on things really really quickly.

58:21 Oh yeah. Okay. So I for my third one you're gonna hate me for this one. Oh no why

58:28 my third tip is don't have the perfect environment for sleep. Oh gosh, you have too much privilege to say this. I knew you were gonna get me. I knew you were going to get me. Okay. I have My kids are really mild temperament kids, so I understand that. Like they're very just like they love to just lay a mom and they love to sleep. Um, so keep that in mind. I feel like this is very dependent on kids. But something that Caleb and I talked about from the beginning was that like I remember reading some of the stuff about like having the blackout curtains and like the temperature of the room perfectly set and like just creating the perfect sleep environment for your kid. And I was like I will definitely do that if my kid doesn't sleep, but I don't want to start out that way and then have them only be able to sleep in like this perfect environment. So that was kind of like my our last resort was like adding in the

59:17 different things if necessary. Um, so like when CJ was little, he would literally nap in a full lit room and I wouldn't always put him in his sleeps sack if he didn't need it. He always had a sound machine, which is easy like on the go to have a sound machine. Um, but these are just different things that I tried and I feel like it benefited. Our kids are pretty flexible sleepers. Um, so if it's possible that you can do these things and then your kids still sleep the night, do it. But obviously if you need to be strict, but I'm just saying don't I would I don't ever give the advice like start out super strict with sleep. Like work your way there.

59:50 I don't think anyone really can because they're in your room with you. What do you mean?

59:54 Like as a newborn? Yeah. As a newborn there's noise, there's like light. Yeah. But like once you start sleep training, you know, like Vivian now is in her crib and I vacuum during her naps. Like her room does not have blackout curtains. Louis is barking. You know, there are different elements where I'm like, I could put the dog away and like not clean or do certain things to like try to hone in to make sure her naps are perfect, but I don't I try not to stress about it.

1:00:19 Mhm. And I think it's benefited so far. Yep. I know it's annoying. No, I love that for you, Abigail. I love

1:00:28 it's not a one size fit, but that's my tip. Don't start strict if you We did that with I will just give you the little caveat. We did that exact thing with Griffin. Yeah,

1:00:36 he slept in the room like in fully lit rooms. Mhm. Didn't go I know not every kid is not going to work for him.

1:00:44 And um so then we learned and did the opposite. And then our second was a much better sleeper. So I guess I say this because I just feel like the internet is so um you know like they always want to we talked about like anxious moms and like it's always like you have to do these things this thing this thing this thing like start sleep training your kid from the day they're born. It's like I feel like I just stressed about stuff that was not applicable.

1:01:06 And like I didn't have to worry about CJ's sleep until I knew if he was a good sleeper or not. And so it's like I don't need to implement all these things to create the perfect environment until I know that my kid's not a good sleeper.

1:01:17 Do you know what I mean? I think it's like it's just let's just take the stress off and just let your kid, you know, this helped me. This actually helped eliminate stress for me personally because I was like I can recreate this and it I'm sleeping. So

1:01:29 yeah, who cares? That's the most important. I think that's I mean I think that's a good baseline, but I do think you learn pretty quick whether or not you're going to have to use interventions. So for sure

1:01:36 I think also I would I have struggled with that a little bit of like we did the sleep training, we did the nap training. Bel doesn't have like a blackout room. She it's dark but it's not and we have a sound machine but I was really worried about like she naps during church and so she's in the nursery

1:01:51 in there and she's only taking 30 minute naps in there. at home she takes two hour naps and I'm like

1:01:57 that's okay if she takes a 2-hour nap later but only takes a 30 hour 30 minute nap now that's okay like having to like really tell myself that

1:02:05 it is what it's going to be yes you know and figuring that out I think we can get so like dependent on the schedule and then we become a slave to the schedule

1:02:13 yeah I I didn't go to church the first two weeks we were sleep training because I was like can't schedule no I'm really pro I'm pro being flexible with the schedule so then it's like okay as long as if Viv V has she's taking four naps a day. So I'm like if she has two naps in her crib that are good then I think that's a great day. But she's sleeping through the night. So I'm like then if she wasn't sleeping through the night then I would adjust and be like we got to stay home for all four naps. Okay this one this took a lot of reworking because there's a major irritation

1:02:42 especially with two toddlers. Keep a pair of shoes in the car. Oh that's a good tip.

1:02:48 Keep them in the car and when they get home take them off in the car. M we just have car shoes.

1:02:54 Car shoes exist because we couldn't I I'm telling you how many times we'd get to a location and I'd be like

1:03:01 you took your shoes off after it took me so long to locate them, get them on your feet and you just rip them off. And so I was like that was just making me so agitated. I was literally saying it till I was blew in the face. I was like keep your shoes on. Keep your shoes on. Wear your shoes. Put your shoes on. And I was like I'm just done with this. We're keeping shoe cars. Mhm.

1:03:21 Or car shoes. Car shoes. We're keeping car shoes. And here's my other advice. Keep the kids socks by the shoes

1:03:28 because I remember so many times heading out the door. We finally found the shoes. Thank goodness. But oh, socks are up in their bedroom.

1:03:34 That's a good idea, Abby. Keep the socks by the shoes. And that can probably be like wherever your garage door is.

1:03:41 Um, and also just keep a pair of car shoes. Don't put them on until you're at your destination.

1:03:46 That's efficiency brain. I don't I would have never thought that but I'm like it is so annoying when we're out like get at the door and his shoes are there and I'm like we forgot socks. Run back in and get socks.

1:03:54 That was the last that was my final straw. So you need so many things to get out the door with them. I just was so tired of fighting with the shoes.

1:04:00 Yes, there's four feet. The car is the ultimate diaper bag. Let's just be honest. I don't even carry diaper bag in there. Keep wipes.

1:04:07 Keep a changing pad in the car. Go change your baby in the car. Your extra outfits, diapers, wipes, everything. And you'll never have to carry a diaper bag again. Great. It's so great.

1:04:15 It's great tip, Abby. Um, my next one, we had Santa take the binky. If you can have a fictional character take your binky, it's so much better because then there's like no chance of that thing coming back. You know what I mean? Not because the

1:04:31 now hates Christmas and Santa. Make Santa the bad guy. What a weird. Make the tooth fairy the bad guy. Make um the Easter Bunny the bad guy. Make Santa the bad guy. Make a leprechaun for St. Patty's Day. The bad guy. That way you don't have to do it and you can start talking about it weeks before. Hey, St. Patty's coming and he's going to take your binky and it's

1:04:57 But he's going to leave you. Maybe he's a leprechaun. He's a leprechaun. Not Oh, sorry. Saint

1:05:05 Sorry, Saint Nick took our be. That's crazy. It's crazy, but it worked for CJ. Santa. Santa. Yeah. And you know what? He took those binkies and he gave them to the other little boys and girls that needed them. Like Vivian.

1:05:21 Like Vivian. Yes. And then if you have a second kid, you could gift them. Just rub it in their face. I'm just kidding. But it really did work. And then because Santa goes away,

1:05:32 he never asked. I mean, he would ask. He'd be like, "Where are my binkies?" And like CJ, where'd they go? And he go Santa took them with the cookies. Saying it, and it was really easy to reference back. And then it wasn't a conversation of hey the binkies are you know you can't like I've heard people plant them in the yards and like flowers bloom up and I'm like I think CJ would have gone out there with a shovel and tried to dig them out you know.

1:05:53 Oh we've tried everything. I know. So I'm like just tell him I'm really big into telling him the truth which is kind of the opposite. I'm like they're messing up your teeth.

1:06:01 Yeah. Well Griffin's old enough to understand that now. He's like yeah they're messing up my teeth.

1:06:06 Yeah. And I'm like I think it also comes down to like how what kind of sleep there is your kid.

1:06:13 Yeah. Like if they like sleep. But yeah CJ I would tell not leading up. I'm like CJ you're getting buck teeth buddy. So we got the pinkies. They're just not appropriate.

1:06:22 Well I had the dentist have a conversation too. I mean we really tried. We did the fictional character. We did the

1:06:28 everything. And now we did the hack of just like let's just let them do whatever the heck they want.

1:06:34 They're sleeping. No, that's a good one. That's a good one. Controversial, but good.

1:06:40 Sure. My final one is catch them doing good. I feel like this is an obvious one, but also it can be hard to just remember day-to-day as a mom. Like whenever they do something that like a behavior that you want them to do more of and you know that it's a especially something that they've changed like it's a you're noticing a difference,

1:06:59 praise the crap out of it. That's my biggest like we we like and it's amazing how they like light up and that's so meaningful to them.

1:07:07 And so like I said when like they said sorry I was like I really I brought up a couple times like I was like I really like how you apologized and like I was able to forgive you and you and you knew why or like whatever it is even them finishing their plates. We have like a whole song. They like we are so proud of them for that like eating their meals like when they're supposed to. because that's also the difficult. That was also my other hack is uh with meals. If you're fighting with your toddler about meals, we can you can just say we provide you decide. Like sometimes I handle that where it's like you can decide if you're going to get dessert tonight because if I'm providing you with something now, if you're trying something new, we're not going to hold you to that same standard, but it's something that's like I know you enjoy this food and you're choosing not to eat it,

1:07:53 then you decide. You decide. And so anyway, praise the crap out of what they do, right? And I you I think you would be surp like you just see that behavior so much more.

1:08:05 Yeah, they do respond so well to that. Yeah, totally. Um I love when they eat finish their food, they go, "Agie finished my food.

1:08:13 I ate it all." And they sit up on their chair, they go, you have a whole chant. It's a big deal.

1:08:20 So fun. Okay, my last tip. This is something that we decided before CJ is born honestly because I saw an influencer post about it and I was like I'm gonna do that. Um we really really try to keep screen time to the weekends and that has been it's crazy when CJ like has screen time like TV time during the week. Uh I just notice it a lot in his behavior and it's and then it's asked all the time, "Mom, I want to watch a show. I want to watch a show." And it's like, "Hey buddy, actually the expectation we just don't do that during the week, buddy. we just do it on the weekends. And it honestly like kind of nips a butt in the asking for cuz I'm like we just don't do that on Mondays. Today's Wednesday. Like you can watch TV on Saturday.

1:08:58 And I think it's been helpful a lot during the week. Also for me, I think if I'm feeling tired or whatever, like it could just be like very easy for me to want to put on a show, but then it's like no, I should just actually put a blanket outside and we go sit in the backyard and like have imagination play or I'll sit and read my book in the backyard. So, it kind of keeps me off of screens, too, which I've really liked.

1:09:20 Um, and I think it's really fostered. CJ has such a he's really good at imaginative and individual play. And I think it's because like I don't have the option of TV during the week and I think it's just been really like it's been really good in our house. Yeah,

1:09:36 it's really good. I didn't stick to that yesterday, so I'm obviously not perfect at it, but yesterday we had a sick day and so we did watch Veggie Tales.

1:09:43 That's awesome. But we've really tried to stick to it and I feel like it's kept the screen time conversation to a minimum.

1:09:49 Yeah. And whatever the expectation is, I think with screens it's just it has it's got to stay consistent.

1:09:55 Yes. Because then otherwise they're like well wait they'll ask for it all the time.

1:09:59 Totally. Like even if it's like our Val hey girl um we talk about all the time like they do screen time after naps and so it's just like the hey no we're not going to watch it until after like if you just have a set time

1:10:10 I feel like that's really the most helpful. Yeah, within parameters. I feel like that's been helpful for us.

1:10:16 Ask Ask Ask Abby. Let's do some voicemails, guys. Thank you so much to everyone who calls in and leaves us messages with a question. It can be about anything light-hearted, silly. It can be serious. It can just be a curious question that you have about us. Whatever you want. If you want to call in, the number is 602456-9690. We'll also put it in the show notes. Here's the first one.

1:10:43 Hi Abby, my name is Madison and I was wondering what are your favorite parts about living in Arizona? Thank you so much.

1:10:54 Thanks for calling, Madison. My favorite part about living in Arizona. I feel like there are a lot of things I really love.

1:11:00 I love living in Arizona. I love it so much. It's so different than the Midwest. So, it's also been really fun just to experience something totally different than what we had growing up. Um, I mean, obviously the weather here is unbelievable. I just really love the access to being outside and the different options of all the things that you can do outside. There are just an endless amount of activities here that I really, really, really love.

1:11:22 You cannot beat sunshine. No. Like when we go back home, like I am reminded how much I take for granted the sunny days because it just affects like it's just so gloomy when the sun's like we take for the sun is out basically every day and when it's not out like today. Oh, it's cozy. It totally

1:11:38 it's like a little cozy day. It doesn't even feel like there's just like there's just not really bad weather here. And that just makes a big difference in my motivation to like take care of my own health and also just like get out of the house and do fun things with the kids. And also our kids can like basically always play outside.

1:11:55 Obviously the summer is like the more trickier time, but it's just so nice. Yeah.

1:12:01 Let the hounds out. Let them out. Let them out. And even in the summer when it is super super hot, um like you swim and

1:12:08 sprinklers, splash pads. Yes, there are different there's still activities to be outside.

1:12:12 What about you, Addie? I was going to say I really like how much there is to do, but more so on the thing of like Blake and I both like sports and watching things like that. We live in it's living in a bigger city, but we like are kind of in a suburb area of Phoenix. And I feel like I really like that we can go and do major league sports or go to spring training or do these um like cute dates like different places to go to. I think um I really enjoy is the season I'm in right now.

1:12:40 Totally. You could never do everything which is so different from like growing up in like a smaller

1:12:44 for sure area. Yeah, it's been fun. Hi Abby, my name is Nivea and I just the question that I had for you all was what is a season in your life that you feel like you took for granted and you go back and just like relive every moment if you could I love your podcast and thank you for listening. Bye.

1:13:08 That's a really good question. I have to think about that for a second. Thank you Nvea for that. That's really that's a thoughtprovoking one. every season of my life I can say like I have thoroughly enjoyed. I don't know that I could say the word like I felt like I took that for granted, but there's really sweet things that I like can recognize more in hindsight about certain things in my life. And I think about being a kid a lot. Uh-huh.

1:13:30 Like I'm like that was such a like I don't know it was such a sweet time and such a comforting time and like I knew that I felt like I had the freedom to make decisions but ultimately I knew that my parents were going to like step in and take care of things for me. And I think I appreciate that even more now being a parent. Like it's so fun being on this side of things. There is so much responsibility. So then you think about like okay nothing was actually truly that serious when I was a kid. Yeah,

1:13:57 like that feels and that was because I had really good parents like you know the stakes were pretty low and so I don't know I always think about like uh when I was a kid

1:14:07 totally things were just things just happened just free things just happened food was there

1:14:12 yeah I think it was one of our first episodes you said I just went to dance practice and

1:14:16 just went to school went to school went to school went to dance and my parents made it happen for me

1:14:21 they made it happen and so it was just like yeah sweet I don't think that I necessarily took it for granted cuz I think I always knew I was like I this is great that I I'm like very grateful that I I had to do these things but I'm like wow

1:14:34 that was so good like that was literally so good. I'm also so grateful this is kind of like a little bit off track with this question but I'm always so grateful that every season of my life I've had good friends pretty much and I think that has also made like even the hard things in my life like so much less difficult than they could have been. And so I especially had like I had really good friends growing up which I think is like probably the most important time to have good friends. Yeah.

1:14:58 And that's the thing I wish them most for my kids is like please make them be friends with like good examples.

1:15:06 Yeah, for sure. I mean that that influences their life so much. I don't I don't really feel like there's a season of my life that I feel like I've taken for granted either. I feel like I've I feel like I've always had a very gracious like I've always felt so much gratitude for different seasons and um I think something a season that just like that newlywed season with Caleb was so sweet. I look on it look back on it so fondly. It was just such a fun fun fun season and I don't think I realized in the moment how fun it was.

1:15:34 Um so I think maybe that is a season I look back on. It was like those first three years married. Also it was COVID and we were newly weds. So, we got married in 2019 and then CO hit. That whole year just disappeared. I don't know what happened to it, but like what a fun time to be quarantined with your husband, your best friend. You know, it was so fun just getting to spend so much time with Caleb cuz we worked from home. We were together all the time. And now I feel like I barely, you know, I don't see him often as much. So, I love love love that. I probably took all the time we spent together for granted.

1:16:07 Mhm. That's special. Yeah. Well, this segment is called Always Eating. Always eating.

1:16:12 Always eating, which I'm actually hungry right now. Yeah. Honestly, let's go home and eat.

1:16:16 We're trying to just think about like how we can give to you guys and like I don't know, just make this more of a community. We're still having conversations. So, we're open once again to any suggestions. I feel like a lot of us in this community are in a season of either being like a newlywed, um mom, like we have got people we got to feed.

1:16:32 We've got a great range. Yeah, we got people we got to feed. We have our food range, but we all have the common thing of we're all hungry and we have other people that are hungry that we got to feed. And so, we were thinking about sharing a new recipe every week

1:16:45 to kind of just help if you're like, "Oh, I make the same things every night or I don't I have no idea what to cook tonight." So, if you're head to the grocery store right now while you're listening to this or after listening to this,

1:16:55 we got a couple new recipes for you. We'll link them below. I I linked my shrimp tacos because I just have started making those again a lot. Um, but I'm telling you, you got to buy your shrimp from Costco.

1:17:08 Actually, I have to have one of you, Abby. You have to buy from Sam's Club. Really?

1:17:11 It's three lbs for $21. Peeled de veained raw. Ooh. I don't have a Sam's Club membership.

1:17:18 I know. I was going to tell you need to get one. We just got one. You can use just to get Shrimpies.

1:17:22 No, but I have heard Sam's is better than Costco. It's just a little cheaper. No, here's the thing. Costco has way better healthy options,

1:17:28 but Sam's is cheaper. Well, then I'll probably stick to Costco and just get my two. It's 2 lbs, but it's peeled, debained, and raw. But they have the biggest shrimps. It's hard to find peeled, debained, and raw.

1:17:38 Yeah, it is hard. It's hard combo. But they got it at Sam's and Costco. So, whatever membership you have, you're covered. Shrimp tacos. I don't follow this recipe. This recipe is just a good baseline. It's very flexible. Basically, just cook your shrimp and just put all the toppings on that you like. But this is just a good seasoning blend and it's just the sauce is good and it's just it's foolproof.

1:17:58 I love your shrimp tacos when you make them. Thank I eat a lot of them. I do, too. I make them huge cuz I also love the tortillas from Costco. So good.

1:18:06 They have raw tortillas. It really makes all the difference. I'm rambling right now, but I feel like those are good for dinner and lunch, too. My recipe is a cabbage soup, which sounds weird. I just love cabbage and I always have.

1:18:17 You're going to have to make this for me cuz I saw you share the recipe and I was a little skeptical.

1:18:22 Well, okay. So, I I'll link a recipe that was I kind of adapted my own, but the recipe itself is good. Um I what I posted on my Instagram story is like my own little adaptation of it. But it's hearty, it's warm, it feels healing, it's just the perfect like blend of warming herbs and good vegetables. And I added chicken for protein. It is so good. Served with some crusty bread.

1:18:45 It's a win. Okay, I'm going have to try it. Yes, I'm excited about that. And it sounds very healthy, too.

1:18:51 It is. Okay, book review time. Everybody, your homework is due. Did you read the book? We're actually still transparently trying to figure out the best way to do this book club because it like sounded like a great fun idea. Just sent it. And we mostly just want to do fun things to like foster community with y'all.

1:19:09 And I love to read. I feel like we got a couple readers in here. Abby, you like to read, too.

1:19:14 Yeah, I like to read when I'm told to read. When you're told to read. And so, um, yeah. So, we're just trying to figure out what the best way to do this is because like for those of you that didn't read the book, you're probably like, "This is boring. I don't care. I don't want spoilers. So maybe on this video we can put a time stamps for when we're done talking about the book. Yeah. And we'll try to keep it somewhat brief, but maybe down the line we're thinking of other options of like what's the best way to do it. We thought about having like a separate channel, maybe Patreon type of thing for those of you that like want to be a part of the like book club.

1:19:43 We thought about doing all kinds of different Discord chats like keep it separate or we can keep it in here. But mostly we just want your guys' feedback like what do you prefer?

1:19:52 Um cuz we're just figuring this out. Is it still new in the Goodreads? I I think a lot of people have said that link isn't working and also I feel like we don't know how much to engage in the good readads. So if there was a different platform that's a little easier to do the book club in, we want that. And obviously we would make it like accessible and easy and stuff.

1:20:11 Yeah. So or if you're like hey this is preferred do it this way. This is a democracy

1:20:17 so you need to speak up. Is it a democracy all or an oligarchy? What's the difference?

1:20:23 Wait, which oligarchies like kings and queens? You guys are the queen. Democracy.

1:20:29 I don't know. It's a democracy. You guys vote. Please vote. You guys got to vote. This isn't inherited.

1:20:34 Spoiler alert. We're going to give spoilers. So, if you don't want to listen, maybe fast forward

1:20:40 for My Husband's Wife by Alice Feny. If you haven't read it and want to read it, skip.

1:20:45 Skip. But don't leave. Just skip. Okay. Okay. What was everyone? Let's start with everyone's ratings.

1:20:53 Five stars. Oo, there you go. I would gave it a 3.5. I give it a three as well.

1:20:59 Oh, so on good readads it would actually be a three. Yes. That's why I couldn't I was going to do a 3.5, but good reads you could only do full stars. So I did a three.

1:21:06 I think I'm dumb. Like I'm actually still confused. Did you both finish the book?

1:21:11 Yeah. I sat myself down. I did read it so fast I was like I'm going to have to go back read something.

1:21:16 I'm actually still confused. I feel like Okay, here's my thing. Mhm. No. Let you guys talk.

1:21:21 No, there's too many crazy people in this book. There are a lot of crazy. What are the odds that all like every single character

1:21:29 is willing to do something crazy? Crazy. It just got to a point where I was like, first of all, I'm like it's a thriller. It's not like real. So obviously it's going to be fiction, but it just got to a point where I was like

1:21:42 it was too much. Everybody is psycho. So it's not based in any kind of like it kind of lost me. Like I was like, "Okay, every single character is Looney Tunes."

1:21:51 Sure. Sure. I could see that it was like it wasn't grounded in something. I I was confused because I thought Harrison committed to a like said he murdered her a million times, but he didn't wasn't the murderer.

1:22:03 I think they wanted you to think like feel suspicious of everyone. I was suspicious.

1:22:07 Harrison was actually the cleanest of them all when you really think about it. He just created a weird company,

1:22:11 but then he was at the end he was like, I don't my company's not not worth it. It's not real. like it doesn't work. He knew it was a bad thing, you know? He knew it was bad to know when you were going to die. I It to the reason I gave it three stars, it took me

1:22:24 at least 45% of the way through to be like, oh, stories connecting like the first cuz it's just like two separate like birdie's talking in one of them and then there's everyone else and I'm like, how do these connect? And so once they connected, I was like, okay, now I'm starting to understand what's happening. But I would read it again and

1:22:43 I liked the first half better actually. When Eden died, I was shocked. Shocked.

1:22:48 Really? Remember when her her Oh, off the cliff chapter ends. She goes, "And this is how I died." Whatever. I was like, "Oh my gosh, she died." The main character, but then you realize she's not the main character.

1:22:58 She's kind of side character. She actually didn't die. No, she did die. That's No, that was Mary.

1:23:06 No, Eden did not die. We're all confused. No, Eden Fox did die. No, his fake wife. His second wife did die. No, that's Birdie.

1:23:16 No, that's Birdie. Oh. Oh, Birdie didn't die. Abby is confused. We might need to explain the book.

1:23:21 Did Eden die? Eden did die. Eden got pushed off. That was Mary. Guys, Google it.

1:23:26 No, Mary is in Switzerland with Harrison living happily ever after. Yes. Yeah. Oh, Jane thought it was Mary and accidentally killed Mary instead of or accidentally killed Eden instead of Mary. Yes,

1:23:37 because Jane is the one who pushed her off. We were the whole time. You're like, who pushed her off? Also, that was a terrible mastermind to because you barely talked about her.

1:23:46 Oh, Carter's wife. But at the end, I actually liked that. Really? Yeah. Because it was very unsuspecting. And then at the end when she was talking about my my husband's wife, I was like, "Wait, who's talking Eden or?" I didn't know who. I thought it was Eden.

1:24:01 My husband's wife and it's not even about Eden or like the title of the book is not even about

1:24:06 like I feel like that it was cool because the title My Husband's wife applied to two different stories. I kind of like that. Yeah, I thought that was creative.

1:24:12 I liked this one more than the other Alice Feny book I read, which was rock, paper scissors.

1:24:16 Me, too. I liked it much better. The beginning was really strong. I also like the setting better.

1:24:20 Yeah, I did like the setting of rock paper scissors. Yeah. Just an isolated Yeah.

1:24:24 But I'm still confused. Uhhuh. So, um, the person who gets pushed off the cliff is the real Eden Fox.

1:24:32 Yes. The real Eden. Yep. The real Eden. And then Mary. Sorry. And Jane tried to kill Eden, but it was actually Mary. And she didn't even know that she killed

1:24:40 No. No. Mary's not dead. She tried tried to kill Mary that she thought was Eden, but it wasn't. And

1:24:47 Yes. Pause. How do they look so much alike? Yeah. I don't know. That's weird. That was also crazy.

1:24:54 But a lot of these people had never met her before, like had never met Eden like in the town because Mary was going around and meeting people like this whole time, but had not known. Like Carter slept with Mary. Uhhuh.

1:25:08 Not Eden. He just kissed her, I thought. Oh, maybe they just kissed. Yeah, but still.

1:25:12 He was maybe fantasizing about No, they had they just kissed on his desk cuz he said, "I want

1:25:18 That's what she saw." But then he actually did sleep with Birdie, but he he slept with Birdie. But

1:25:23 see, this is two affairs actually. That's what I'm saying. This is crazy. Like Jane was willing to commit that crime just of a kiss cuz that's the only thing she witnessed.

1:25:33 Yeah, I know. But then he was actually cheating. There was just too many I I didn't really like the storyline of how Eden pushed the daughter over the balcony. I'm like, that just was so far-fetched. Like, she wasn't actually hit by the car. That whole story was like a little crazy.

1:25:50 All of it was all And then Gabri Gab, Gabriella, the daughter, also crazy. Just randomly one chapter where you find out she's crazy.

1:25:58 Or like at the end they try and they try and sneak in that she's locking Eden out of the house. This is my house. and she's like in her clothes and stuff and then she goes, "Don't mess around like that." And then she lets her in the house. Like it was like weird.

1:26:10 Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And when they they ended the chapter with one of the chapters with Gabriella jumping out of the car.

1:26:16 Yeah. And then never really came back to that. There was too much happening and too short of a book honestly

1:26:21 of trying to wrap up all the loose ends at the end. I was lost. I'm actually clearly still lost.

1:26:26 I actually I really enjoyed it. Debrief. I thought it was very um entertaining. I wouldn't recommend it personally, but

1:26:32 really I would I would I highlighted or this was chapter 10, so we were really very beginning said, I'm Olivia Bird. I tell him and then he his face folds into a frown and he shakes his head. Olivia Bird is dead. I said, "What the heck is this freaking book? I'm so confused."

1:26:50 I know that was about the grandma like was dead. Oh yeah. Yeah, the fact the two characters had the same grandma's in there with such an intricate she died twice

1:26:59 and the mom died and I was like there was so much happening. Yeah, I I was thought it was I think if the mom died twice and then Birdie died twice that would have been

1:27:08 I think I'm just too dumb for this book. No, it was a lot. She does have I think Alice Can someone confirm that she has all 10 fingers because both

1:27:17 she tried to fingers. So, does she have all 10 fingers? Why is this her signature? In the other book we read by her, rock paper scissors, the book ends with a finger cut off with a ring on it. That's why Abby made cookies. If you ever saw that video,

1:27:31 cut a a finger off in this book. It was Olivia Bird's finger, wasn't it? It was the grandma's finger was cut off.

1:27:39 They like with the green ruby. Yeah. Or something. Yes. Does she not have all fingers?

1:27:44 SHE HAS NINE FINGERS. HOLD IT. Oh my gosh, that's so cool. It says she has spoken publicly about losing part of her finger in a childhood accident. It's something she occasionally mentions in interviews and author talks.

1:27:59 Oh my gosh. Well, she mentions it in her books. It's always funny. That was crazy. Okay, that's cool.

1:28:05 That's really good. I love when an author has a signature. Yeah. I think I actually still need to Google and just like be like, "Please explain the ending of this book." Like,

1:28:13 who's who? Cuz see, I think what's happened is that like it not the the parts that were actually Mary, but you're thinking are birdie. Yeah. Never got rewritten in my brain.

1:28:24 Yeah, it is. So, I'm like, she has really hardcore twists. I never expect her twists in both stories. I was very shocked by her twist.

1:28:31 My hot take though is that like I like to be surprised by a twist, but I just think that her twists are just underdeveloped. Like there's you should be able to make inferences of some kind or at least go back and see like, oh, this was this. But I feel like it just smacks you out of nowhere.

1:28:44 It does smack me out of nowhere. I think that's why I like it though. I'm like, is that good though? Like story development. I don't know.

1:28:51 But um yeah, you know, it was a good thriller to start. It's a fast-paced one to start your year off. You can

1:28:58 get one book under the belt. Now you can read another. Yeah. I have a suggestion for the next one. I don't

1:29:03 Yeah, I was going to say we probably should if we have another book. I feel like we need to do a new release that's not brand new.

1:29:10 Okay. because it's hard to get our hands on. We heard some feedback about that. But this one came out last year and it's called Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reed and it's like it's a fiction but it's takes place it's related to females going to space and people say it's like very inspirational and really good and I really like that author.

1:29:27 She wrote um Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo which I've heard of that but I never got it. She also wrote um Dais Daisy Jones and the Six.

1:29:35 Fun. But this one's kind of like it's like slightly historical fiction, but it's like the '60s, I think. But it feels like girl power and I feel like that'd be fun.

1:29:41 Yeah. Let's go. Always homies. It's a fiction though. It's not like it's not it's a it's a story.

1:29:47 Yeah. Fun. It came out last year. It has 65,000 um reviews and 4.5 stars. Fun. Let's do it.

1:29:56 Okay. Atmosphere. It's a GMA book club pick. A love story. Perfect. Love love story.

1:30:02 I need a change of pace. I feel like that one was that one got me. I also read a thriller before that so that disturbed me. So maybe I just need to have a little

1:30:10 something a little lighter. Something a little lighter. Well, just be a depressing depressing book.

1:30:15 Depress something. I enjoyed the book club and I'm glad that we're doing this. Oh, my other side note really quick, one more thing is that the subplot of the paintings felt underdeveloped as well. that she just kept painting spiders

1:30:29 that they all painted and then like the wolf and the like all the points just felt underdeveloped to me. Like it felt like there was a lot of good potential, but then it never came full circle enough for me to be like appreciate those like plot elements.

1:30:42 You wanted to be a longer book. Maybe it needed to be longer, but I do think some of the things need to just be eliminated

1:30:47 or edited out. Some of the variables need to be not as many lunatics. Sure. Yeah. I feel like there could been been some editing.

1:30:54 There wasn't one sane character. Yeah. I just whenever Carter was crazy, too. What happened? Okay, question. Another random thing. What happened to Maddie? You know, they're like, "We can't contact her. She's not answering her phone."

1:31:04 Matt disappeared. Oh, yeah. She disappeared. Well, the power went out. That was just kind of like

1:31:09 The Day of the Dead. What? That was not that important. The power was dressed up.

1:31:13 Yeah, the power was coming. Like, yeah, that never played a role. The Day of the Dead really never just came to do anything. I thought for sure someone was going to be hidden. Well, Jane came and looked at was dressed up and came and looked at Birdie, but Birdie had taken all the pills and passed out. And so, she's like, "Oh, she's

1:31:28 she's already dead, so I don't have to kill her." Right. Right. Right. Ph. Yeah. All right.

1:31:37 I'm glad I I wasn't mad at it. I was just kind of like, eh. Gotcha. Okay. In closing, we just want to say thank you guys. Wow. This was a long episode. Thank you for uh sitting with us and chatting with us the whole time. Actually, I was going to tell you at the marriage conference, a woman came up to me and she said that her and her daughter listen to always here every week together. So sweet.

1:31:54 I had a girl come to me at church. Her name's Taylor and her daughter Isa. So sweet. She's the first one to ever come to me.

1:31:59 I know. I love the mother daughter. That's so sweet. It was so fun. So, thank you guys for saying hi and listening. It's crazy.

1:32:07 Yes. Especially we want to thank Haley for She did the next right step and that is write a review. She wrote, "Love you all. I look forward to this each week. It really does feel like I'm right there with you all. When Abby would talk about her books on on plan and joke about having a reading corner segment, I'd always beg for it. So, now that you guys added a book club, I'm so happy. You guys do so amazing. If you love girl talk, friendships, and books, this is the podcast for you.

1:32:32 Amazing. So, we thank you so much, Haley. And also, anyone that is feeling generous today, please take a moment or two to just write a quick review, subscribe, share this episode, download.

1:32:43 What are all the things you can do? Part it. I don't know. give it a thumbs up, whatever that you need to do on whatever platform you're listening on to just show them that you're enjoying us and you intend to come back. It really means a lot. We're so thankful to you and so is our entire team. So, it's not just for me and Abby and Addy. There's more people behind the scene that also are really encouraged by that positive feedback as well. So, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

1:33:05 Well, I have to pee. Yeah. Well, you know what? You guys remember we're always here.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Our Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, & the Frida Mom Scandal"?

Abby Howard (Host), Addie (Guest), Blake (Host), Louis (Guest), Caleb (Guest), Unnamed interviewer/hosts (Guest).

What is "Our Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, & the Frida Mom Scandal" about?

A lighthearted look at modern parenting challenges, including toddler habits, branding seen on kids’ products, and the chaos of daily family life, with humor and candid reflections on parenting hacks, mom life, and contemporary awkward moments.

What is mentioned in this Always Here episode?

29 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Abby Howard, Parenting, Freda Mom, Terrence Howard, mom hacks, mom fails. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Our Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, & the Frida Mom Scandal"?

The episode runs 1 h 33 min; the transcript is about 20,867 words in 507 timestamped sections.

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