You Can Change Your Life TODAY If You Do This - Ep 998 Q&AF

What this episode is about

This content emphasizes the power of personal decision-making in transforming one’s identity and life circumstances, highlighting that both successes and failures are reflections of past choices. It encourages individuals to define their desired attributes, adopt the behaviors of those who exemplify those traits, and ultimately reshape their external reality through conscious decisions and actions.

Key takeaways

• Your current reality is just yesterday's decisions; design tomorrow with today's choices.
• Winning or losing, your identity is a conscious construction—pick the blueprint wisely.
• Transformation is a choice; mimic those you admire to rewrite your life script.
• Success isn't accidental; surround yourself with achievers and your reality will shift.
• Skip the ads, keep it real—authenticity is the true currency in the podcasting game.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Andy Frisella (Host) · 39 min speaking
• DJ (Host) · 7 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Andy Forcella, 75 Hard, andyforcella.com, Live Hard
2. 5:00 – 10:00: Operator Standard, Andy Forcella, Operator Standard podcast, Live event
3. 10:00 – 15:00: Cruise the Internet
4. 35:00 – 40:00: Andy Forcella
5. 45:00 – 46:16: Cruise the Internet, CTI Live, Share the show

Notable quotes from "You Can Change Your Life TODAY If You Do This - Ep 998 Q&AF"

• What is up guys? It's Andy Forcell and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality. Guys, today we have Q& AF.

  about Andy Forcella · at 0:58

• About how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to fix their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.

  about 75 Hard · at 2:49

• Share the show. I see what you got on your head there. Oh, I got this I got the new operator hat from Operator Standard.

  about Operator Standard · at 4:58

• Yeah. Yeah, we do. Join us 700 p.m.

  about CTI Live · at 45:57

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Andy Forcella — Person · Host / main speaker · 4 mentions · first at 0:58
  He frames the episode format (Q&AF) and delivers the core advice on validation, entrepreneurship, and life pivots while also promoting his programs and website.

Books & papers

• The Book on Mental Toughness — Book · Primary recommendation · 1 mention · first at 3:12
  Recommended book related to the Live Hard program, providing detailed insights into mental toughness.
  History and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is called the book on mental toughness. It's available at andyforcella.com.

Companies & orgs

• Operator Standard — Company · Business focus · 2 mentions · first at 5:03
  Mentioned as a company with exclusive products and a podcast, part of a larger technology system.
• YouTube — Company · Platform · 1 mention · first at 1:24
  Mentioned as the platform where the podcast's Q&A episodes are hosted.
  Now, we have made an executive decision that we are just going to go ahead and stick with the original YouTube channel.

Products & tech

• andyforcella.com — Product · Primary owned destination for purchases/info · 1 mention · first at 3:14
  Presented as the place to buy the mental toughness book and as the domain used for audience submissions (email).
  The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is…
• 75 Hard — Product · Referenced program/framework (part of show content and transformation narrative) · 1 mention · first at 2:41
  Used as a recurring reference point for transformation stories (“75 Hard verses”) and positioned as the initial phase of Live Hard.
  About how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to fix their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.
• Live Hard — Product · Flagship transformation program referenced as the umbrella program · 1 mention · first at 2:56
  Explained as the broader program of which 75 Hard is the initial phase; described as free and obtainable via Episode 208.
  The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is called the book on.
• ask andy at andyforcella.com — Product · Audience submission channel (email) for Q&AF · 1 mention · first at 1:21
  The mechanism for collecting listener questions, central to the Q&A format of the episode.
  Yeah, guys, you can email your questions into ask andy atypyforcella.com. You can click the link in the description to submit your questions for a chance to be answered or drop them in the comments of.
• Episode 208 — Product · Reference point / access instruction for Live Hard · 1 mention · first at 3:07
  Cited as where listeners can obtain the Live Hard program for free, functioning as a navigational CTA within the podcast catalog.
  The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is…
• Operator hat — Product · Merchandise mention / conversational aside · 1 mention · first at 5:03
  Used as a segue into discussing Operator Standard exclusivity and the Operator Standard ecosystem; described as exclusive and not available publicly.
  Yeah. It's going to be operator standard exclusive, so it's not going to be available.
• Operator Standard exclusive — Product · Exclusivity descriptor for Operator Standard merchandise/access · 1 mention · first at 5:11
  Signals scarcity/limited availability tied to Operator Standard, reinforcing that certain items (like the hat) are not publicly available.
  Yeah. It's going to be operator standard exclusive, so it's not going to be available.

Concepts & topics

• 75 Hard — Concept · Core topic · 1 mention · first at 2:41
  Initial phase of the Live Hard program, discussed as a mental transformation program.
• Live Hard — Concept · Core topic · 1 mention · first at 2:58
  Described as the most popular mental transformation program, free and part of a larger system.
  The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is called the book on.
• CTI Live — Concept · Segment · 2 mentions · first at 1:41
  Live show segment mentioned as part of the podcast's schedule.
• Share the show — Concept · Call to action · 2 mentions · first at 4:44
  Encouragement for listeners to share the podcast to help it grow.
  World, and we need more people getting better, okay? And we need more people aware to what's going on. So we ask very simply that if you enjoy the show, if you like the show…

Places & events

• Live event — Event · Upcoming · 1 mention · first at 5:44
  Mentioned as a future live event to be streamed, related to Operator Standard.
  We're we're using the early adopters, the people who jumped in December to really plug the holes in that system. So and then we will have a big launch coming up in the next few…

Media & podcasts

• Cruise the Internet — Media · Segment · 3 mentions · first at 2:08
  A live show segment discussing society and culture, part of the podcast's offerings.
  This is where we talk about what's going on in society and culture. that's a live show that we do at 7 p.m.
• Operator Standard podcast — Media · Segment · 1 mention · first at 5:25
  Mentioned as a podcast available in the app, part of the Operator Standard system.
  Yeah. But, but yeah, we launched Operator Standard and the Operator Standard podcast which is available in the app. It's not open to the public. We are working out a it's it's it's a technology. It's not a.
• 75 Hard Verses — Media · Segment · 1 mention · first at 2:39
  Segment where people who completed the 75 Hard program share their experiences.
  Have real talk. Real talk is just like a rant. It's 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 hard verses. This is where people who…
• After Hours — Media · Segment · 1 mention · first at 2:23
  Mentioned as a live stream segment from a cigar lounge, part of the podcast's offerings.
  On Mondays and Thursdays. And then we have after hours, which is a 700 p.m.
• Real Talk — Media · Segment · 1 mention · first at 2:35
  Described as a rant segment, part of the podcast's varied content.
  And in addition, occasionally we will have real talk. Real talk is just like a rant. It's 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75…

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 to change your identity of who you are. You just got to make a decision. The life that you're living in right now, when you look around and you see like the house you're living in or the apartment or the car you're driving, all of that [ __ ] was dictated. And by the way, this goes if you're winning, too. If you're winning and you're looking around, man, I got a nice car, nice house, I'm winning. Right? This is not just for people that are losing. Whatever you're living in in your physical reality right now was created by a past version of you today. Whether you're winning or losing, you have the opportunity to say, "I want to do this.

0:31 I want to become this. I want to take this further. I want to do these things. I want to become this kind of person. I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to be fit. I don't want to be broke anymore. I want to make money. I don't want to be a dumbass anymore. I want to get educated." That's a decision. Okay? And then all you have to do is model the behavior of the people that do those things. And eventually your external reality materializes to look similar to theirs. What is up guys? It's Andy Forcell and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality. Guys, today we have Q& AF.

1:09 That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ, tell them how they can submit their questions.

1:18 Yeah, guys, you can email your questions into ask andy atypyforcella.com. You can click the link in the description to submit your questions for a chance to be answered or drop them in the comments of the Q&A videos on this feed.

1:30 Now, we have made an executive decision that we are just going to go ahead and stick with the original YouTube channel. So, just letting you guys know that.

1:38 So, you will find the Q&A episodes under the videos tab and you will find the CTI episodes under the live tab.

1:45 That's right. Um, with that being said, if you are new to the show, we have shows within the show. It's not going to be the same thing every day. Okay. We have personal development and then we have society, culture, and comedy. All right. We like to think it's comedy. Um,

2:00 comedy to somebody. Yeah. If nobody else, at least to us, we're going to be laughing.

2:05 Okay. Uh, so Q&A is Q&As typically go on Mondays. Um, and then Monday nights we have CTI, which is Cruise the Internet. This is where we talk about what's going on in society and culture. Uh that's a live show that we do at 7 p.m. on Mondays and Thursdays. And then we have after hours, which is uh a 700 p.m. live stream from my uh cigar lounge where we just kind of hang out with you guys. So that's what we got going on. And in addition, occasionally we will have real talk. Real talk is just like a rant. It's 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 hard verses. This is where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to fix their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.

3:01 The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is called the book on mental toughness. It's available at andyforcella.com. Uh it is very popular book. Sometimes we have it. Sometimes we're sold out. But if you're somebody like me that likes to know the ins and outs and dive into all the details and the wise and the hows and what is and what isn't, the book is highly recommended. Okay? You don't have to buy it, but people think it's a pretty good book. Okay. Um, let's see.

3:40 We got a fee. Got to pay. All right. One thing about our show that we do differently than literally every other show is

3:46 I don't take ads for the show. Okay? I'm not for sale. I never have been. Every single podcast that I've ever done for the last 11 years has been done on my own dollar. All right? And the reason for that is because I don't want to feel pressure from anybody about what I can and can't say. My whole thing is I'm gonna keep it real with you guys and I don't want anybody thinking, "Oh, Andy's getting told to say this or that." Okay? So, we don't run ads on the show, but I ask you guys, this is very important, that you do something for us, okay? Help us grow the show. A lot of you guys love the messaging. A lot of you guys make big improvements in your lives, and we need to fix what's going on in the world, and we need more people getting better, okay? And we need more people aware to what's going on. So we ask very simply that if you enjoy the show, if you like the show, if it gives you new perspective, if you learn skill

4:44 sets, do us a favor and share the show. That doesn't mean share the show once. That means if you listen to the show and it's good, do us a favor and share it. Okay? So don't be a hoe.

4:58 Share the show. I see what you got on your head there. Oh, I got this uh I got the the new operator hat from Operator Standard.

5:07 Huh. Yeah, it's nice. Yep. It's cool. It's really nice. Yeah. It's going to be operator standard exclusive, so it's not going to be available.

5:14 Oh, that's Oh, they're going to be hot. Yeah, they're going to be hot. Yeah. But, uh but yeah, you know, we we we launched Operator Standard um and uh the Operator Standard podcast which is available in the app. It's not open to the public. We are working out a it's it's it's a technology. It's not a group. It's not just a podcast. And we're we're using the early adopters, the people who jumped in in December to really plug the holes in that system. So uh and then we will have a big launch coming up uh in the next few months. So that'll be a live event. Um

5:49 it'll be streamed. You guys can find all about it. But it's going to be really cool.

5:53 Yeah. Some of the most revolutionary technology that's ever been developed. Yeah. So

5:57 and using it for the good. So, it's so big that I think eventually that's what people will know me for.

6:03 So, I think it's going to be the biggest thing ever, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. People are winning, too, bro.

6:09 Yeah, they are. It's awesome. Yeah, they are. It's awesome, dude. I did a I did a live stream in there with the with the people

6:16 the other day and like I was asking about their wins, dude. It was It was crazy.

6:21 Yeah. Like 30 lbs down, 20 lbs down, making more money, got this going on. Like it was just it was cool, man.

6:30 Because like look, dude, if we're gonna fix what's going on in the world, which everybody is frustrated about, we have to build better human beings.

6:38 That's the bottom line. Yeah. So you have and it's easy to set that goal out there, but being able to walk it backwards, that's where I think a lot of people miss at.

6:46 Yeah. Well, you can't give away the the full secret there. All right. No secret sauce. It's very helpful. Very verying helpful.

6:54 Yeah. You're in there. Yeah. You got your little crew in there. Yeah. Yeah. Got free crew calls and everything. It's cool.

7:00 Um but yeah, sick, man. Well, let's uh let's let's try to help some people. Let's try to make some people better how we can. You guys know how this works. I got three good ones for you.

7:09 All right. Yeah, let's do it. Uh guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I've made some decent progress so far. Uh no payoffs, no massive payoffs, no big wins just yet, though. Uh, part of me feels proud and part of me wonders if I'm just settling because nothing looks impressive from the outside. How do you measure winning when no one's clapping for you? Uh, I know the horse goes before the cart, man, but how does how big does the win needs to be before you get the claps?

7:43 Well, if you're doing it for the collapse, you're doing it for the wrong reason.

7:46 Okay? Because let me tell you a little secret. Right now, you're looking for people to celebrate winning. And unfortunately, in the culture that we live in, people will pretend to celebrate winning and then feel jealous and spiteful and bitter and frustrated about their own lives. So, what will happen and everybody needs to just accept that this is the reality. You will get to a point where your success is recognized, but once you get to that point, people do not clap the way that you expect them to. Okay. And if you're doing everything that you're doing for the admiration or the validation externally, you need to realign and think about why you're doing it. Because building something is a lonely process, especially in the beginning. But I'm telling you, none of you, this man or woman or anybody else, needs any validation from the outside world. And to expect it is a false expectation that

8:51 creates this this extra weight that you have to carry that you don't need to carry.

8:56 There's other [ __ ] to carry. That's right. It's going to be hard enough, dude. Yeah.

8:59 So you you have to understand most of your outcome comes from I would say 98% of your outcome comes from you controlling the things that you can at such a level that the 2% of the time that it's not in your control, the people who are quote unquote they have the connections or they have the gatekeeping or they've built something that you guys all want to be at those tables. Everybody's worried about networking. You don't understand that unless you are controlling the things that you can control at the highest level possible, those people won't even have the conversation to bring you to the table because they see the holes in your game.

9:41 So when I say 98% of it, it's really 100%. Okay? Because once you become that person, the other people that are like that recognize that because it's so rare that they start asking you to come to the things and go on this trip and come to this meeting or I got this opportunity and that's where things start to materialize. And when that happens, you create a whole new network of people that think nothing like the people that you came from who are there to not instill doubt in you anymore. Now they're gassing you up. Now they're saying, "Hey man, you you're a [ __ ] stud, bro. You just got to keep going.

10:23 You got to keep moving down the and they start to mentor you and they start to help and they start to push you forward." And that's where you want to be. You want to be surrounded by people who are going to help you win. And those people that you knew from back in the day, from high school or college, that are living completely different lives, you can't expect them to even understand why you want what you want because they are perfectly fine where they are. That does not make them bad people. That makes them on a different journey than you're on.

10:57 Okay? So, you can maintain relationships with people from the past. You could still have friends. You could still have family. You could still have all that [ __ ] but you can't get them to understand something that they've never even thought about. Okay, these people have never thought about what they are actually capable of. They have never thought about actually wanting more. They look at success as this thing that's out there that is reserved for certain people and they believe in their heart that they are not one of those people, which means they will never become one of those people. But I am here to tell you that that is not the truth. The truth is you've got to become that person first and then you get your your way into the door. The doors start to open. So in between those two things, you know, I call that no man's land, right? In the beginning of your journey, you're surrounded by, let's say you're

11:52 20 years old, okay? You're surrounded by your high school buddies and maybe some college friends, some people that you've known your whole life. And that's comfortable. All right. But the minute that you start to say, "I'm going to go do this," or, "I'm going to be this," or, "I have these dreams," that's where the chirping starts. That's where the doubt is seated. That's where it it's it appears like they're caring, but they're not actually caring. They're trying to keep you in the circle. And when you start to move out, that's why they say [ __ ] like, "Who the [ __ ] does Andy think he is?" You know, he thinks he's better than everybody. No, I don't think I'm better than everybody. I think I want better for myself. And you're interpreting it that way. So, we have to understand what we're dealing with here.

12:40 And it's it's it's it's just a part of the process, dude. It's like breathing the air.

12:48 Having people chirp, having people talk [ __ ] having people not like you, having people, you know, that you used to know now, you know, want to see you. That is normal [ __ ] That is normal [ __ ] that every single person who's ever built anything deals with that. All of them. And if you can't get through that, you don't have what the it takes. So you got to understand, dude, it's a requirement. It's like it's literally like f here. Hey, Steve, here's the path. Come with me. Oh man, there's that one part there and it looks really tough. How can you know? I don't know if I want to go through it. Okay. Well, you're not going to get over here then, right?

13:30 Like there's no other path. You got to go through it. So you guys who are young, you have to understand this is part of the process. But I'm telling you, as someone who's been through that process, it continues to go through that process because it never stops. Because once you outgrow that next that next group of friends in the middle area and that next group of friends in the next middle area and you're moving your way up, as long as you go, it's always the same behavior. The minute you start to escalate from the successful group, the same [ __ ] starts to happen in a different way. So, you have to be okay with other people having opinions that you don't think are good, but they have them. Okay? And this is why like when you guys watch me on CTI or you know, you you you say like people say, "I don't care, bro. You don't have to agree. I don't give a [ __ ] if you agree with me. That's this is my [ __ ] This is

14:23 what I think. This is what I know. this is what I'm seeing and if you see it a different way, cool.

14:28 Cool. Yeah. I And like legitimately, I don't care. And in the beginning, you care a lot because you don't understand it. But that's a useful thing. We have to learn to use that because there's way more negativity out here than there is positivity. And if you lack the ability to take the negativity and turn it into productive action, then you lack an essential tool that is that is required for success. So your job in this part of the phase is to take all the [ __ ] that people say, all the doubt, all the shit-talking, all the things they say and remember it.

15:05 Build a massive chip on your shoulder. And then when you feel lazy or you don't feel like doing it or you don't feel like, you know, this is the right path, you think back on all the [ __ ] people said, you say, "Fuck them. I'm doing it." Okay? So it's a useful thing, but you got to learn to use it. And when you get to that point, like you're in the upper levels, you don't hear it as much. But

15:30 when you do hear it, you're conditioned to use it. So it's always useful for people to hate. It's always useful for people to talk [ __ ] It's always useful for people to say you can't do [ __ ] if you know how to use it properly. and using it properly is a requirement for success. Regardless of what any of the feel-good guru on the internet say, negative energy is far more powerful for progress than positive energy. You will move faster away from you don't want than towards what you want. That's the reality. You will move faster away from pain than you will towards pleasure.

16:09 That's a normal thing for human beings. So if you learn how to use it, you accept the game for what it is, it becomes irrelevant. But you got to understand, dude, you got to go through it.

16:24 It's it's required. So your expectation of, you know, people are going to clap and cheer and all, bro, they're not. They're just not. They're until it's so undeniable and it's so obvious that you're a winner and anything you say and do is going to [ __ ] happen. Bro, to the to this day, okay, I've been winning for 27 years. All right. To this day, when I say, "Oh, I'm going to do this." There's still people that are like, "I don't know. I don't know about that one."

16:55 Yeah. And I'm thankful for those people. I like it. Okay. Because I bank that [ __ ] and I'm like, "All right, we'll see.

17:00 Mother, we'll see. I'm gonna make you eat that [ __ ] Okay. And and that's how it works.

17:07 Yeah. So, um I feel like you you speak a lot too on like, you know, how important it is having awareness as an individual, right? Like being able to like truly just look where are you? You know what I'm saying? What are you actually doing? Right? And I and I bring that up because I feel like with the validation thing, it's like so you're telling me like you need other people clapping for you, telling you that you're doing it the right way. Like, can't you just look at your [ __ ] and tell yourself if you're doing it the right way?

17:33 You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. Isn't there awareness to this? Right. Yeah. Yeah. For sure, man. But, you know, I think the last 25 years of everybody getting a trophy for every little thing and everybody getting a celebrated for, you know, doing [ __ ] that they're supposed to do every day anyway has changed the perspective with a lot of people. So, like when they work hard for a week, they want to be like, I worked hard this week. Welcome to the club.

18:02 Yeah, right. That's what the [ __ ] we do, right? Where's my pizza party? Yeah. Like,

18:06 I worked hard for five years. Yeah. Nobody cares, right? Here, here's what you got to understand. Bottom line, Here's the bottom line. You ready? Nobody cares. You care. Just because you care doesn't mean they care. Okay? Nobody cares. They got their own [ __ ] going on. and they got their own drama going on. They got their own lives going on. You might be a comment and they might say something and and two seconds later they're worried about something else. They don't care. No one cares and they don't care about you. You think that people care about you? They don't care about you. They care about themselves.

18:46 They care about themselves. That goes for every person on the planet. Okay? I'm not saying your mom doesn't love you. You're right. I'm not saying your dad doesn't love you. I'm not saying your brother doesn't love you. But I am saying outside of that, nobody gives a [ __ ] And the harsh reality of the world is this. People really only care about things that benefit them. And until you become someone to where your mere existence is benefiting thousands of people, nobody cares. And by the way, the minute that stops, no one cares again.

19:21 Stop caring again. Okay? And that's reality. And people will say [ __ ] like this. So you're saying that only people only care if you if you're successful? Yes.

19:29 Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Uh but it opens your options for life. Okay. It opens your options in into you know furthering your ability to take care of the people that you love. It opens your options for your future mate. It opens the options for you to have the choice of how you want to live your life. And the reality is you either want it or you don't. Okay. So, you know, you got to accept the cost upfront, bro. You got to understand like this is the way it is. This is what I'm prepared to do and I'm going to do those things. Yeah.

20:05 You know, that's real, dude. That's real, man. Let's get to uh let's get to question number two. Uh Andy. Um Andy, I started my business because I hated feeling controlled, but now it feels like the business controls me.

20:20 Correct. I'm reacting all day instead of leading and every problem feels urgent. How do you get back into the driver's seat? Uh when the thing you build starts running you

20:30 well. Oh man, that Well, look, dude. Um that's the big misconception about owning a company or or starting a business or being an entrepreneur, you know, like this saying that people say, "Oh man, I want the freedom to be an entrepreneur." What the are you talking about?

20:45 Get to make my own. There's no freedom in entrepreneurship until maybe you've sold your business or maybe you've

20:52 made it to such a point that you can hire people to to potentially run it for you. And even that is not really that real if you really want to make it. So this idea of starting a company or a business for the idea of freedom is not a real thing.

21:08 So again, you've got to accept the reality up front. You're not getting more freedom. You're trading one kind of control for another kind of control. You're trading the ability to make uh the ability to not make the decisions for your own existence for the ability to make your decisions for your own existence. But that's not actually freedom. You just answer to different people. Okay? Now, instead of answering to your boss, you're answering to your customers. Now, instead of uh you know answering to uh a company, you're answering to your team.

21:43 Right. All right. So, this is a different it's just a different thing. You're trading one sort of control for another. And yes, it provides certain decisions, certain luxuries, c certain outcomes that you wouldn't be able to have working in this first time, but those only come after years and years and years right?

22:05 Yeah. So this idea that you're going to be freer is not a real thing. All right? So that's the first thing you got to understand in order of like getting back into control. This is about understanding what drives the business forward and letting the other [ __ ] taking the other [ __ ] off the table. Okay?

22:28 Motion comes not from adding more but from subtracting things that don't move the needle. So, what are the things that you're doing every day that you think are urgent because you're hypervigilant about winning, but won't actually move the needle forward. And you've got to become very discerning at where you spend your time because we only have a certain amount of time and we only have a certain amount of capacity to make the decisions. And you want to spend that time and those decisions and your energy when it's fresh on the things that matter most. So this is an I this is prioritization okay what's critical and what is not critical what is going to move the needle forward today and then

23:13 the fires get priority after that now if the fire is big enough and it's going to derail the business then that would become a higher priority type of situation right but go you learn this instinctually um

23:28 through the experience of going down the path you know back when I was early in business. You know, I I can relate to this question because things would happen and I'd BE LIKE, "OH, [ __ ] THE WORLD'S going to crash."

23:39 Yeah. Everything's a problem, right? And and dude, that's hard. Okay. And by the way, in the beginning, things are much more critical because you don't have the momentum moving forward.

23:50 So, when you're in that beginning middle phase, it's very hard to identify the difference because everything feels critical. And I think that's a good thing. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's a great thing to be hypervigilant about your business because everybody else is and that's who you're competing against. All right. No, nobody that's winning is casual. Nobody that's winning is taking it easy. Nobody that's winning is like saying, "Oh, well, that doesn't really matter." No, they have the same attitude you have, but they understand how to prioritize those situations into what continues to move us versus what needs to be addressed now. So you you will learn this as you go and it will become much easier for you to deal with. Like for me at this point in my life, I have my critical tasks that move the business forward or move my my initiatives forward. It might be for this or it might be for something else

24:44 I've got going on. But then I have my firefighters. Okay. And and that that is all day every day.

24:52 Okay. So in between my critical things that are moving forward, I am addressing these things that are going on throughout the day and obviously I have teams and people around which allow that to uh happen quickly. Yeah.

25:06 To solve problems quickly. But at the end of the day, man, um you know, you you have to just continue to go and learn how to prioritize things that are going to move you forward versus things that aren't the end of the world right now.

25:22 Okay. But those things still have to be addressed because if you allow them to grow and spread, they can be the end of the world.

25:27 I I dude, that was going to be my followup, bro. Like, how many how many how many times have you seen people just simply because of delaying addressing something?

25:36 Ruins everything. Yeah, it happens all the time, you know, and it could be it could start off as so lack of urg like everybody talks about uh hustle culture and this and that and this bro those people lose.

25:48 Those people all lose all of them. They don't get it. No, nobody says anything about that that's actually built something or if they have, they've exited that company and they've forgotten what it's like to run it,

26:00 rebranded themselves as this cool. No, I'm not even saying that. When you get out of the fight

26:05 Yeah. it you start to like think differently and you you think you're still thinking like you used to but you're not. Okay. So this idea that you hear on the internet you know about urgency being a bad thing or hypervigilance being a bad thing or not uh you know being less urgent and people knocking that [ __ ] Bro, listen none of those people have built a real business. They might they might be a they might be building a coaching business off of a bunch of people that are never going to win and victimizing them and telling them, "Oh, take it easy and you'll win." But they ain't going to win either. Okay? So, you got to understand, dude, this is what the it takes. It takes that. So, when you hear like all these dogooders and these fluffy nice things on the internet, you got to realize that's for other people, bro. You're here to [ __ ] win. You're here to build. You're here to create.

26:59 You're here to become. And if that's a serious thing for you and that's seriously what you want, you are entering into the most vicious competition that exists on the planet more than baseball, more than football, more than MMA, and it also is the longest. It lasts your whole life. Okay? So, you are voluntarily entering into a competition with other people that are willing to die in order to win. And if you don't have that in you, you're going to lose. That is how competition works. So if you're one of these people that's like, man, I think I want to start a business because it's I get more freedom and this and that and this and bro, don't. You'll get killed. You'll get sm it'll ruin your life. It'll ruin your life because you'll leave your life now. You'll get into this and you'll get destroyed.

27:51 You'll spend all your money and you'll be broke and you won't know what to do. So I'm just being real with you guys. If you think that this is anything other than a gauntlet that you're going to run down your entire life in order to create a different sort of existence for yourself and you are willing to go to battle every single day for the next 20 years at a minimum. If you can't do that, you shouldn't do it.

28:18 You should not do it. You will get crushed. Now, you might be able to be one of these internet scammers and come up with some sort of [ __ ] in the meantime and make a little money. I'm talking about building something real. I'm talking about real company. I'm not talking about a [ __ ] hustle.

28:34 Get it? Absolutely. You have to do it. You have to do it. It's required. There's other people doing what you do that will eat your food right off of your table and laugh.

28:43 You don't understand that. Yeah. People don't understand that. Like, it's vicious, bro. Now, I'm not saying you should be vicious. You can become very successful by being great at what you do and being a good person, but you got to be prepared for what it's going to take.

28:58 You can be naive to the reality of it. Yeah. Let me ask you this because I feel like this would also be something that like somebody would want to try to do like alleviate these problems by making somebody else or designating somebody else to go handle the [ __ ] right? Right. Well, I mean obviously,

29:13 but like how important it is is it I guess learning those lessons of, you know, figuring out is this problem big rather than just passing it off and delegating it to one of your, you know, employees or something.

29:24 What do you mean? So, like you got the problems coming up, you feel like you're out of out of control, right? All the [ __ ] you have an employee who's really good. Just hey, you go handle that and just put it all off on them. Yeah.

29:36 Meanwhile, you're missing all the lessons that you're supposed to be learning by handling them. I mean, at what point do you do you assign little firefighters?

29:42 Well, first of all, if you're actually the kind of person that's going to win, other winners will be attracted to you. People who are also willing to go down that path with you. But those winners, and this is the mistake people make,

29:59 there are savages that are not entrepreneurs. Not every savage becomes an entrepreneur. There are tons of savages that work within the framework of of another company. Those people, the people that you're asking about will only work with the the former that I described

30:18 because they want to win too. And they are not going to attach all of their effort, all of their life, all of their [ __ ] to someone who's casual about it. It's not going to happen. Okay? So, in order to even have the kind of person that you can hand things off to and have it fixed, you have to be that same kind of person. Otherwise, you end up with some a bunch of incompetent dumb asses that, you know, don't really give a [ __ ] Cuz let's be real, dude. What's the workforce made up of? M

30:51 okay our workforce here because we have stringent cultural standards that we have abided by for a long time we are savages everybody in this building okay normal culture what is it

31:08 it's people who have low standards it's the attitude is I'm not doing that it's 501 right uh you know I'm not doing they're not paying me for that duh duh duh

31:20 duh And then you wonder why, you know, they're 100 pounds overweight and the biggest excitement of their entire life is when they throw a [ __ ] pizza party and in the in the corporate office and it's Karen's birthday, right? Karen's birthday. Who's got the dog?

31:34 Everybody, we got cake. Oh, you got cake? I'll be there, right? I was going to start my diet today, but well, you know,

31:43 Monday. Yeah, right. Like it's loser [ __ ] bro. So, you got to understand that most people out there, they don't want to they're not trying to achieve the highest standard for themselves. They're trying to get paid so they can buy their [ __ ] And then, ironically, those same people who have very low standards blame the company for not paying them enough because they don't provide any real value. Okay? But again, that usually comes from the leader. If you go into a company where you see the people I'm describing and then look at their leader, their leader usually looks the same.

32:16 They usually act the same. They usually talk the same. They usually get extra excited about the cake. Yeah. Right.

32:22 Okay. These are losers. They will lose. The I'm not saying these are losers like they're bad people. I'm saying factually they are going to lose over and over and over and over and over. That's just reality, dude. So, you got to ask yourself, what are you actually trying to do? What are you actually willing to do to get there? And if you buy all the way in, you will attract other people that are willing to go down that path with you. Okay? When you do that, those people are more than willing to step in and help. And they will help you with the fires, and they will help you with the minutia, and they will help you with the [ __ ] But that's never in the beginning, bro. That's only after you've proven yourself to be battle tested to where you're going to go through the gauntlet and other people are going to say, "Goddamn, that's tough. I'm going I'm going to hitch my wagon to that."

33:18 Yeah. Okay. Because you're asking them to trade their life for your mission. Do you understand that? People spend more life in work than they do at any other place. Okay? If you don't have a worthy mission, if you don't have a a a a mission that's big enough, that means something that allows them to cultivate all of their desires and all of their dreams and all of the things that they want to become inside of that, you can't do it. Okay? The days of of recruiting high talent to to to build a, you know, landscape company that has no ambition to grow and they're just going to stay the same. That doesn't happen, dude. No,

34:02 the winners don't go there. Okay, it's just it's like college football. I always bring it back to this.

34:09 The real W where do the real winners want to play? They want to play places that are proven to win. That's right.

34:14 They get the best talent. They get the best recruits. Same for your best [ __ ] the uniforms.

34:19 It's the Yeah. That comes later, though. Yeah. Okay. When you are when you're not that kind of a person, you you know, uh I'll play at a community college. Yeah,

34:32 I'll play D3. It's cool. I like the game. Yeah, right. Those at Alabama or Indiana, they ain't playing for the love of the game. They're playing to win.

34:42 Okay. And there is a big difference. I'm not saying you can't build a small company that could pro provide. But if you do build a small company and you keep it small, you're going to have massive turnover over and over and over and over again. And you're never going to have real killers want to work for you because there's no outside for them. Like why the would a real killer work for someone who's happy where they are? They won't. It doesn't work that way. So you have to be committed and the vision has to be big and it has to be big enough to where they can provide for their families the way they want to inside of that. Okay?

35:18 I I I could have stopped my company 15 years ago. Okay? But if I did that, I would not have the great people around me. I would not have all these young people who have come in, learned all these skill sets. And by the way, some of them moved on to other things and they become successful in other ways. All right? But if you stop and you just say, "Oh, I just want enough for a bass boat and a [ __ ] this or a that, bro." You're you're setting yourself up to get your [ __ ] ass beat worse than if you went for the big vision.

35:58 Does that make sense? Yeah. Because now you're dealing with fires all the time. Now you're dealing with disgruntled people all the time. Now you're having people come in and be like, "H, this sucks." and quit. Now you have more headaches. When you have a big vision and people can clearly see that you are very intent on accomplishing that vision, the the great people come to you, bro. They come they'll they'll [ __ ] they'll come from other Dude, we got people here that that are from Europe that have moved here to work here.

36:27 Yeah. You understand? It's crazy, right? It's not crazy when you But because the mission is worthy and it's big and people want to be a part of [ __ ] like that.

36:37 Yeah. So, and you could do that in any company, dude. You can set you you've just got to think about it. You know what I mean?

36:44 Yeah. I love it, man. Well, we got one more for the people. Andy, guys, question three. Andy, I don't even know how to word this, right? But I feel stuck in a life I chose. No one forced me into it. I'm 32 years old. I'm single. No kids. I do have a really good career that I love. I'm not miserable, just boxed in. Responsibilities stack up and it feels like there's no room left to change direction without screwing everything up. So, how do you make a move when nothing feels safer uh but staying put feels even worse?

37:23 What What kind of responsibilities could you have at 32 years old with no kids?

37:28 You're as free as you're ever going to be, brother. The moves you need to make are going to be like right now is the time to make them. if you're going to make them.

37:36 Yeah. Okay. Um and very simply, you have to ask yourself, and you already answered it. Is it worth staying where you are, or is it worth going down the path to get where you want to be? And I think you already answered the question. You said, "I feel boxed in. I don't like where I'm at. I don't like what I've got." Well, I can promise you if you stay there, it's only going to get worse. You know, and this comes down to how people evaluate risk, right? Most people evaluate risk from, you know, what if I do this and this happens and this happens and this happens and this happens instead of the proper way of evaluating risk, which is what happens if I don't.

38:21 What happens if I don't? You already know what happens if you don't because you're [ __ ] living in it and you hate it. So, you answer your own question, bro. And to be completely honest with you, the fact that you're not married, the fact that you don't have kids, bro, you think you you think you've got responsibility now, go get married and have some kids, and then feel how trapped you're going to feel in a place that you can't escape.

38:44 Okay? So, you're in the perfect position to pivot to who you want to become, what kind of life you want to live, and and you know, a lot of people that are 32 say, "I'm [ __ ] 32." Bro, you're still a kid. You're still a kid. You know, I to me the question's answered in the question. I mean, this guy already knows. You You just want to hear it. Here's the answer. Go do it or you're going to regret it your whole life.

39:13 And it's going to get worse. Wherever you're at, if you don't take action forward, it's not going to maintain because everybody else is moving forward. Society is moving forward. If you try to stay where you are, you're automatically going backwards by default because everything's moving forward. So, the key is you have to move forward faster than everybody else. So, the truth of the matter is for this dude is uh Yeah. If you stay where you are, you're going to hate your [ __ ] life forever.

39:41 Yeah. Yeah. So, you better do it. Yeah. That that's a pretty simple one there dude.

39:47 Yeah. Well, he answered the question in the question. You know, he already knows. You already know. You already know how. You guys all know. Like, what the [ __ ] are you even listening to me for? You all know. You know that your life sucks right now. You know that things need to change. Go change them. You are in control of those things. You are in control of all the things that create the outcome. Not someone else, not magic, not the president, not your mom, not the kids from high school. None of that [ __ ] matters, bro. It's simple inputs and outputs. What actions are you taking to create the result? And if you take enough actions over the course of time, the result changes and things get better. And that is it, man. It's not this is not

40:33 hard. This it's it's not hard to understand. It's hard to do. And a lot of you guys ask questions because

40:40 you're trying to ask for a hack around the hard. Well, I'm sorry, dude. Um, I don't have one. Okay. Now maybe all these other smart people who have built real things in real life uh you know that you see on the internet offering advice for free you know maybe they know a way to hack around but uh you know I would highly consider looking at their actual uh results and how they actually make money because right now we are inundated with a bunch of people that make money by selling people on ideas of how to make money then they never made money any other way. Okay? And I'm telling you as someone who's built multiple things in real life, and I'm talking about things that exist, things with employees, products that ship, okay, in many different industries, I'm just telling you there is no hack. It's a long journey. You have to go through it every single day. You need to win every single day along the way. And

41:31 eventually your external reality starts to materialize. Okay? And a lot of people don't even understand that. They don't understand that to change your identity of who you are is very simple. You just got to make a decision. All right? The life that you're living in right now, when you look around and you see like the house you're living in or the apartment or the car you're driving, all of that [ __ ] was dictated. And by the way, this goes if you're winning, too. If you're winning and you're looking around, man, I got a nice car, [ __ ] nice house. I'm winning.

42:03 Right? This is not just for people that are losing. Whatever you're living in, your physical reality right now was created by a past version of you. Okay? Today, whether you're winning or losing, you have the opportunity to say, "I want to do this. I want to become this. I want to take this further. I want to do these things. I want to become this kind of person. I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to be fit. I don't want to be broke anymore. I want to make money. I don't want to be a dumbass anymore. I want to get educated." That's a decision. Okay? And then all you have to do is model the behavior of the people that do those things and eventually your external reality materializes to look similar to theirs.

42:42 So this is not magic, bro. That and this is the thing. People think this is magic or it's luck or it's circumstance or it's this or it's that because that's all they've ever heard from all the people around them their whole lives. How many of you have seen someone who's successful, who's driving a nice car, who's got their [ __ ] together, who's built a nice company or whatever, and you're like, "Man, that's pretty cool." And then you have a friend or a parent or somebody that you hang out with be like, "Yeah, but dude, uh, you know, that guy everybody over along the way.

43:18 I'm not willing to do that because I'm real." No, you're a [ __ ] Okay? You're hiding behind your own preconceived, which are inaccurate assumptions about anybody who's built anything. Because I'm going to tell you something, in today's world, the way that word of mouth spreads, you have to have integrity. You have to provide real value. You have to be the real deal to even win. Otherwise, you get found out on the internet and your [ __ ] goes away and your reputation is ruined and you can't do [ __ ] All these coach coaches I coach coaches to coach coaches to coach coaches. They're learning that lesson very hard right now.

43:56 Yeah. Okay. So, it's a long game. You have a choice right now to decide that you want different and all you have to do is behave differently from here on out. It's it's not magical. It's just hard. Okay? And if you're willing to gut through the hard, it will become easy. Just like when you get into a cold swimming pool and you're like the fir, you know, you guys are all into cold plunges. The first time you do a cold plunge, you're like, you know, but after like six or seven days, you're like, "This sucks." And then after like a month, you're you just get right in and it's normal. Okay, that's the same way this works.

44:40 You were at the beginning, you start to move. It's very hard. Then it just becomes your life. It's no longer hard. You acclimate to it. Like when I wake up and it like, dude, I have a big life, man. Like I have a lot of responsibility. I have a lot of projects going. I have a lot of [ __ ] that I have to do. Okay? I don't wake up every day and and think this is so hard. I I now some days I might wake up and say I don't feel like doing that today. But it's not really hard. Like it's just [ __ ] I got to do.

45:15 Yeah. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't you you get acclimated to it, guys. And that's what you got to understand. And the reason that you don't understand is because you haven't been doing it long enough. Eventually, you get used to it and it becomes just your your standards. And that and and the cool thing is is that when you model winning for long enough, you know, eventually you're not chasing winning anymore. Winning is just what the you do. That's who you are. So when it becomes that winning isn't even hard. It's just what the you do.

45:48 You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, dude. Absolutely, man. Well, guys, Andy, that was three.

45:54 Yeah, that was three, big dog. Yeah, we got a special guest tonight. Yeah. Yeah, we do. Join us 700 p.m. Central tonight for CTI Live and uh we will see you there. All right. Don't be a hoe.

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Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "You Can Change Your Life TODAY If You Do This - Ep 998 Q&AF"?

Andy Frisella (Host), DJ (Host).

What is "You Can Change Your Life TODAY If You Do This - Ep 998 Q&AF" about?

This content emphasizes the power of personal decision-making in transforming one’s identity and life circumstances, highlighting that both successes and failures are reflections of past choices. It encourages individuals to define their desired attributes, adopt the behaviors of those who exemplify those traits, and ultimately reshape their external reality through conscious decisions and…

What is mentioned in this Andy Frisella episode?

21 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Andy Forcella, 75 Hard, Live Hard, andyforcella.com, Operator Standard, 75 Hard. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "You Can Change Your Life TODAY If You Do This - Ep 998 Q&AF"?

The episode runs 46 min; the transcript is about 8,811 words in 129 timestamped sections.

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