Patreon Episode: Foley's Fashion Show! | Are You Garbage (FULL)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Blue Bell, Pennsylvania, Lucas Patukus
2. 10:00 – 15:00: Robert Graham
3. 15:00 – 20:00: Robert Graham
4. 30:00 – 35:00: Beats by Dre
5. 35:00 – 40:00: Apple Music

Notable quotes from "Patreon Episode: Foley's Fashion Show! | Are You Garbage (FULL)"

• Our good pal, producer, Lucas Patukus.

  about Lucas Patukus · at 1:35

• I could feel the crisp breeze of a sundae on my face as the golden sun is setting behind the neighborhood in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania. I can smell the meatloaf cooking at my…

  about Blue Bell, Pennsylvania · at 4:22

• That's Robert Graham. Teddy Graham's brother. It's an offshoot.

  about Robert Graham · at 14:20

• Something that Apple just goes their streaming service then became it helped launch the Apple Music. Yeah.

  about Apple Music · at 35:37

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Lucas Patukus — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:38

Companies & orgs

• Robert Graham — Company · 2 mentions · first at 14:20
• Beats by Dre — Company · 1 mention · first at 34:38
• Apple Music — Company · 1 mention · first at 35:41
• DXL — Company · 1 mention
• Polo Ralph Lauren — Company · 1 mention

Places & events

• Blue Bell, Pennsylvania — Place · 1 mention · first at 4:28

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's

0:26 that little show you sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it after the group to be classy.

0:30 Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with toies in a new edition. But I'm going to tell you folks that. Why is that my good pal Kevin?

0:40 Cuz of the [ __ ] homies. Cuz they're the [ __ ] homies right here on the old Patreon for a little bonus episode.

0:52 Yeah. Yes sir. The boys and the homies were hanging out. My co-host, my formentioned co-host, standup gentleman, good guy, good kid, ride or die [ __ ] Let me tell you that right now. Shotgun man. Bottom [ __ ] You always come up with my bread. This guy will stick an eightball up his ass for just about anybody. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. We ain't talking the drugs. I'm talking bull ball.

1:20 Uh tricked. Shout out everybody. Welcome. Welcome. What am I doing? I'm all flustered here. Uh, [clears throat] shout out to the [ __ ] homies, baby. The lifeblood of the organization, THE GODDAMN BOOT [ __ ] undercover brothers, the sleeper cells that we freaking love you, the ladies man.

1:34 Love you gang so much. And we also love our good pal, producer, Lucas Patukus. Hello everyone.

1:40 Corner office for the for the for the homies out there. It's a Friday. Just happy to be here.

1:45 Just happy to be here. Getting out of here. You got you a nice lunch. Got a nice weekend planned.

1:50 Big weekend. Yeah. You love it. Thursday. Well, it's Friday to us, man. What's up, dude?

1:56 Not later. Working on the weekends like usual. Working on a Wednesday like usual.

2:04 Now, this is a this is a mystery episode, ladies and gentlemen. You're not going to like it.

2:09 You know, uh just can you have fun? Been a very busy busy uh couple of weeks. Very close to going out on the road. Can't wait for that.

2:18 Um I'm obviously in pre-production for my film that I'm doing. Mhm. Um, that explains the mustache.

2:24 No one's asked about it. It's completely just a beard now. Trimming up the uh the physique a little bit, you know, working, you know, working on my lines, working on the script, thinking of the direction of my character, how I'm going to play it, and all that kind of stuff, you know.

2:35 Yeah, that's right. But what's going on with you? Uh, nothing. This was uh it's kind of funny.

2:44 What is how much of a jerk off I am? 100%. 110%. Mhm. And I appreciate you guys loving me. I can't thank you enough.

2:55 No, it's okay. It's great. I was talking to the homies, not you stabbing at my eyeballs, dragging me down.

3:02 What? Dude, I'm trying to get you into like clinical help. I'm trying to get you into [ __ ] programs.

3:07 I am. I'm still waiting on them to get back to me. Yeah, you got to give these doctors some time.

3:11 What the [ __ ] that? What if I was [ __ ] getting ready to [ __ ] waste myself? Fingers crossed. I just mean to have a couple of beers. Everybody relax.

3:21 Um, I did send her a very thoughtout message. What's up, [ __ ] You You girl them titty certified? I got a doctorate in bee holes. Call me back. You leave them voicemails.

3:43 What's your [ __ ] problem? Uh yeah, we're trying to get the big man. Big man's doing great. Bug man's back. Big man's great. You know, we just uh baby steps, a little guidance from old Kiparino. Loot new guy Luke, you know,

3:57 keep you on a short leash. Yeah. Um you know, it's back to school season. YOU'RE A BIG

4:03 YOU'RE A BIG SEASON GUY, you know. Um must be the season of the Kippy. Uh it's very much, you know, you're you're you're you know, it's it's a new us. We're going back out on tour. You're, you know, you're you're you're circling the wagons. We're tightening it up. We're doing this. We're doing that.

4:22 I could feel the crisp breeze of a sundae on my face as the golden sun is setting behind the neighborhood in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania. I can smell the meatloaf cooking at my mom's. I can smell the grass on my knees from playing uh football with the

4:41 playing pocket pool with the neighborhood. playing football with the guys, coming back with my brother, you know what I mean? High school, maybe a sophomore, hanging out with my brother and his friends, discovering new music. Did I ever tell you about the time that Sorry, my sleep apnnea kicked in. Kind of crazy. I'm drinking a lot of coffee and you were still able to put me to sleep. That's crazy. We did a pickup game of lacrosse right before the season started. And I was a freshman and this uh senior at the time, Eric Pakornney, great guy, defenseman, uh who was friends with my brother who was a sophomore at the time or no, he was a junior at the time.

5:19 It doesn't matter. Picked us up and drove us home and it was like a it was like a beautiful Sunday. Exactly what we're talking about. And he played Superman bym for the first time. And in the back of my head, I was like, everything's going to be all right. It's going to be fun.

5:31 Well, he was that wrong. Bits and pieces. Yeah. Half of it was a dream, half of it was a nightmare, but

5:37 Oh my god. You know. Sure. Yeah, I know. Yeah, totally. So, what about the seasons?

5:43 Uh, you know, seasons change. Haircuts change. [ __ ] you know, wardrobe changes.

5:51 Yeah. Uh-huh. Bugman never changes. Bugman doesn't change. We're trying to get Bugman to change. Bugman resistant to change.

5:58 I've never really changed my style, have I? Nope. And that's what we're doing today. We went out and got you gear. You're a pretty little woman. Let's go, Ryan. Hit it.

6:09 No. Little pretty woman. Little pretty woman. I got to try on clothes. We're getting you ready FOR THE BALL, LITTLE LADY.

6:18 OH, come on. What? I got to like take my shoes and stuff off. I don't have any underwear on either.

6:25 That's their problem. I'm not wearing socks or underwear. You're not wearing underwear?

6:29 Uh-uh. What are you doing? I'm a freak. All right. Well, I guess we own these pants now.

6:34 What do you got? You got you some stuff. It's so funny. I mean, we've planned this completely under your nose. Like, not even really trying to hide it, talking about it in plain sight in front of you, and you had no idea,

6:47 man. It's Friday. It's going to be [ __ ] phone it in for a couple of minutes, then get out. I got to get up and change.

6:54 Gear for the weekend. Gear for the weekend. Yeah. You're saying, "Let's hang out. Let's hang out."

6:59 I'm not going to do any. Right. Get in here. Right. What do you mean? I'm home alone. I'm going to shut

7:07 Not anymore, baby. We're out here. I'm going to shut the phone off and disappear for

7:10 No, no, no. That's what old Bugman does. New Bugman's back. Fresh gear. I don't know what he got you was getting some pictures.

7:18 Wait, you let this [ __ ] kick you out? That's That's how you produce a comedy show.

7:22 I'm like the fattest seven-year-old. I don't know. This could all be brut in here. I don't know.

7:26 You don't know what size I am? Yes, we do. If you go to a local DXL, you give them your phone number, all of your stuff is saved in there. Those [ __ ] rats.

7:37 Apparently, isn't there a hippo law against that hippo law? They can't say that.

7:43 Apparently, you're a [ __ ] That's like when you tell a doctor 12in submarine sandwich kind of guy.

7:48 That's when you tell a doctor that you've done drugs. They can't say nothing to anybody.

7:52 They try to put it in your [ __ ] chart and I say, "Ew, that's between us." Like, well, you could have a heart attack with a medication. I'll take the heart attack. Don't [ __ ] rat me out.

8:00 Sure. You know what I'm saying? What do you got? They're very sweet of you. What?

8:06 Very sweet of you. I listen. You need You got an active something stain on your pants.

8:13 That was unplanned. We already had this planned before I saw like I don't need new jeans. These are great.

8:20 All right, let's go. Might need more than one pair of jeans in life. All right,

8:23 maybe. You know what I mean? Are you familiar with salvage denim? Oh my god, I'm wrapped up like a mummy.

8:32 Give me this eight. You got me trying on clothes. I like when I go into DXL, I go in with a light pair of shorts and flip-flops so I can get out easy.

8:42 All right. Well, not everything's [ __ ] I'm going to have to put my pants on like six times. Did you get pants?

8:49 Son of a [ __ ] Let's do it. They look real stiff, dude. [ __ ] They look real itchy. And I'm sure you bought me small sizes just so you can all have a laugh at me.

9:00 No. No. We want what's best for you. We always We don't. I think in your head you think we don't.

9:07 What? Are you a loser? A [ __ ] pea brain like you would. All right, let's see what you got.

9:14 Oh, this these clothes are heavy. Heavy dog. It's crazy. There should be like 400 pairs of shoes in here at that weight. There's three t-shirts

9:24 and some construction material. This is nice. $ 69.50 dollars or size. 69X. True Nation. You know True Nation?

9:37 Do I? I'm living in it, dog. That's where my jean jackets are. All True Nation.

9:42 The bags do look like contractor bags. WHOA, THAT'S PRETTY SHARP. High quality [ __ ] we're talking there.

9:49 Very nice. That's We got to see it on 5XL. That's in the wheelhouse. It's in the wheelhouse.

9:57 You can change over here also. Yeah, you can. You don't have to change on camera. Just take a step off.

10:04 What are you paying for? Blur them out. That's a lot of pixels. What's the blur? Trap. What's the blur budget on this? Not bad. I would go open.

10:14 Oh, whoa. I need that new style. Big man back. throwing like a white tea under that. That's nice. That's Dude, from the back you look like a [ __ ] snack.

10:24 That looks good. You look like a linebacker kind of. You look good. You look like a football player that you claim to be.

10:32 Okay, that dude that that's You look good. I can maybe I think Yeah, maybe a little shorted and we'll take it to the tail get zip it up in the front a little bit.

10:44 But that's vibing. That's better than anything you got. Okay, that's some good gear.

10:48 Got you. Then we got you some We got you some staples. Some fall classics. I think like lunch meat, cheese, bread, milk.

10:55 Just have stuff in in case someone comes over in case it rains. Polo. Whoa. Spruce you up a little bit.

11:04 Off-brand polo. See you in a Yeah, see you in a at least one. You don't have to try everything on, but one of one of everything. I'm big on a polo. Ry guy did.

11:13 What? I work at a [ __ ] car rental place. I'm not going to wear these. I don't wear That's not my style.

11:19 You don't have a style. Hey, do I definitely don't wear [ __ ] off brandand stuff. Polo, Gucci, East St. Lauron.

11:26 This could be This could be big for you. You'd be hanging out with Luke and his cool guy friends.

11:31 Yeah. Luke's dad. You think Luke's dad wants to hang out with a guy in a [ __ ] snow camo shirt or whatever it is that you wear that looks 500 years old?

11:40 That looks nice. That was good. What are we doing? That looks really nice. You're killing it.

11:49 That looks great. What? You're a new guy. A fresh coat of paint. Look at you. I'm shocked. Undo the button. Stay a little bit, will you?

12:04 What? What's What's that? Am I Is my parents going to come in here or something like that?

12:08 What the [ __ ] It's just You're being too nice. There's not an intervent. I swear to God if I go on the other side of that door.

12:14 [ __ ] crazy. [ __ ] lose it. I'll kill myself right in front of First of all, bad news. Your dad's not coming.

12:21 What? Your dad's not coming. What? Son of a [ __ ] He never loves me. You look great.

12:28 Really good. Come on. Round of Let Let the Let the runway model see you. He hates this. I'm loving every minute of it.

12:36 All right. Well, let take you take a break from trying stuff on for a second. It's nice. Got you a stable full of [ __ ] fresh teas.

12:45 Nice. You can burn through those. What's with the pockets? The pockets look nice on you. It adds some dimension to you. Just saying. Yeah.

12:52 Yeah. It's a little [ __ ] takes the cuts the eye off a little bit. Where's my shirts? Thank you, Diesel.

12:59 All All All in your colors, I feel a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You look great in the collared shirt.

13:05 I know. Yeah. I look like I work here or something. You do work. No, but I mean like a like a you know

13:14 I look like you know like I look like an adult. No, you look like an adult who owned who at one point had $29.99 to buy a 5XL shirt with a collar. That's what you look like. You look great.

13:25 Well, I thought I looked good today when I came in. No, that what that's bad. Why is this bad?

13:32 Why? How's it good? Cuz it fits me nice. I look cool. That fits you nice and you look cool. When I put my sunglasses on and my chains coming out, I look like, you know, what's this guy doing?

13:41 No one thinks that. No one thinks that. No. What's this guy? That's That's your whole That's your whole wardrobe. You want people to go, what's this guy doing?

13:50 Hey, what's this guy all about? Okay, Ryan, did you get any underwear? What's in there?

13:56 There's one more in there. Oh, yeah. Well, you took a couple of swings, it looks like.

14:01 Oh, god. Man, you are a [ __ ] guido. Look at this thing. Oh my [ __ ] Who is he? Vinnie Ponzerini. What the [ __ ] That's crazy.

14:13 Oh my god. I kind of like it though if I'm being honest. Really complicated. That's Robert Graham. Teddy Graham's brother. It's an offshoot. That's all right, though. Like a wedding or something. Like a nice dinner. Good jeans. Showed a watch off the chain. That's flashy. Oh man,

14:36 that's a little too I can't wear this. Obviously not like on stage or nothing. You look like you're doing a Vegas show.

14:49 Henry Houdini. When did you start opening for Sebastian? Listen, what are you what's your a fat kid going to church? Not happy.

15:06 Watch me make this oy train disappear. Watch me make this guy's penis. Now you see it. Now you don't.

15:18 Isn't it crazy? I'm still talking and you can't see it. It's in my ass. Yeah, that's funny.

15:26 That's That's Listen, hold on. But like you're going out to a nice dinner or something with a jacket, something nice. No this

15:34 I'm trying trying to make it work. This is too like Yeah, it's too guidoy. That is a big swing. How much is that? What's the price tag say on that?

15:43 $155. Are you [ __ ] kidding me? What was this total haul? I I adding this up. Let's Let's see how good you are.

15:51 Probably about $6700. Yeah. What was it? Whoa. You're good. I shop there. I'm a magician. What do you Is this your shirt?

16:06 Yeah. I mean, this looks like I'm getting a haircut. Yeah, she's doing pretty good.

16:17 Just a little off the top. All right. I respect this wing though. Yeah, I respect this wing. He tried.

16:25 Man, you are a Ginszo. Oh, that's so funny. Were you eating a cutlet when you picked this out?

16:30 Dude, that's dad's like that's something my dad I want something I can get sauce on like four or five days in a row.

16:37 Give me something. I'm naked over here. I tit. Nobody told you to take your Well, I don't know. You want to give it to them?

16:43 Goddamn showman. I know they've been all itching to see this. I told you I'm gross. It really is.

16:46 I'm a magician off the strip. I know something about show business. All right. Uh this is not You're going to need to put a tea on for this though.

16:56 Why? That's a Timmy Dedo. No, no, no. That's a showstopper, dude. That's a black zip up.

17:03 No, that's I wonder why your traps are so big. That [ __ ] is heavy. It's like you're doing deadlifts all day.

17:12 What are my traps? Are they big? Yeah. I mean, cuz you're you're carrying around [ __ ] 18 pounds of sheet metal on you. That's like wearing chain mail. This looks great.

17:23 But Timmy D wears the polar. No, he doesn't do the full zip. Doesn't matter. It doesn't. It does.

17:29 First of all, more than step on Timmy's toes. You're not stepping on my lights.

17:34 That's great. Yeah. What's up, girls? Nice. That's really good. That one's nice.

17:41 I know this wasn't [ __ ] cheap. I don't know. Check the link. Go in there and shop like a [ __ ] Westchester housewife, don't you?

17:51 How much was it? Nuhuh. What the rest of this 18 cents? 168. It's all right. Polo Ralph Laureni knows what he's doing. There you go. I I bet you $669. We never see any of this on him ever again. It's going to go in a bag and sit in that [ __ ] closet.

18:09 It looks good. Pair of trousers for you. Levis's. They're athletic. No. Uh-uh. What?

18:20 I don't like the ankles. What's wrong with them? They're too big. Can we see them for comedy purposes?

18:31 Come on, bug man. They're 52s. They're not going to fit. What size are you? Not 50.

18:37 108. Come on. What? All the [ __ ] you've given me over the past [ __ ] three months for comedy. We can't get a fat guy in a new pair of jeans.

18:46 The Robert Graham shirts are so funny. There's like they're like they do like Superman styles. Like it's all like

18:52 Robert Graham shirts. Yeah. Like that for that magician shirt. Oh, are that them? What are we talking about? You look great. What's wrong with the ankles?

19:10 I like a tape. I got a I got a couple complaints about them toenails. Those 5X things, too. Yikes. You look That looks good. How do they feel? They look a little tight.

19:23 No, they're great. Oh, yeah. They feel good and they're thin. The ankles look normal.

19:28 I mean, I can't wear this. Why not? I look like Jay Leno. He's got a career now. That guy's got some good material.

19:36 I got material. Keep stealing and doing my bits in front of other people. When?

19:41 I don't know. Somebody told me. I don't know. I'm lightheaded. What's next? I got one more shirt for you.

19:48 Okay. Buttonup. Uh-huh. Ah. They said you were He said he talked to a What did they What did they say? Get on the mic and give give us a little bit of

19:58 brought me a short sleeve button-up. You thought What do you think the Hawaiian is?

20:02 I know, but thought it was going to hook me up now. Look cool. This is cooler than anything you got. I'm going to catch a ration of [ __ ] at the end of this.

20:13 Why? Very nicy. I hope you guys can hear me out there. And I hope you're not eating. If you are, save me some.

20:22 Very nice. Have you ever been one of those guys that puts it on us? That is you.

20:27 Yeah. Keep it buttoned. That slipped right on like a glove. Oh my god, that looks good.

20:33 Looks like Luke Holmes. Yeah. Yeah. This that vibe. Yeah. Little big but gets the job done. Sitting down at the table. You look nice. Nice shirt. How's it feel?

20:49 Great. I can tell when he's lying with a great It's good. What's that? I can eat.

21:03 Now, did we spray any of these with like uh ether or anything to prevent stains? Put that shoe stuff on them.

21:10 Very sweet, man. Awesome. Yeah, we can keep the Guido one as a joke or something. I don't want to up keep away from the table.

21:21 Uhhuh. Now, I'm only going to be in these for a couple of months cuz I'm going down. So, we'll have to do this again in a couple of couple of months.

21:28 That's okay. Not DXL. What are you thinking? What's bigger than that? DXXL. Athletic taper. Good job. For the former athlete.

21:43 For the former athlete in all of us. in the Waffle House. Awesome. Love it. [ __ ] awesome.

21:50 I'm I'm Can't thank you enough. Look, throw this [ __ ] out for me. It's It's all the stuff that I get. I mean yeah

21:58 you're a little upset about the non-name brand, which Hey, no, I'm joking. These these are my brand. These are the t-shirts that I wear other than True Classic. How you doing? Um I just I never really [ __ ] with uh polos cuz I look like I work somewhere.

22:14 You know what I mean? I mean, sure, I get the but not everybody that wears the polo

22:20 looks like [ __ ] Jake from State Farm. You know what I mean? He looks like he works there.

22:25 That's the bit. It's also a red polo. I mean, a light blue polo. Yeah. Or like the the the royal blue polo. You look like you work at Best Buy.

22:33 Yeah. There's no other connection to a black polo though. Okay. All right. Home run of a job. Great job. Love you guys.

22:40 What did uh what were the vibes in the DXL when you got there? Who who who took care of you? Was it Angel?

22:45 It was not Angel. I asked for Angel. He's off today. Okay. Um, skinny black guy.

22:50 No, Elizabeth. Older woman. Oh, yeah. She's nice. Showed her a picture of you. She didn't remember you.

22:55 Really? Really? Huh? [ __ ] She remember that commission. Did you give something to St. Jude's?

23:02 No. What? That's bad luck, man. You're going to get me [ __ ] jacked up. I already got the ladybug hanging over me from a couple of weeks ago.

23:10 Sure. Do you let go of that? What What What was Were Were you in and out of there pretty quick?

23:17 No, there they were slow. They were walkie-talking to each other from across the room.

23:21 It's probably lunchtime. The DX. They're not fat in there. At DXL, it's always lunchtime.

23:27 I mean, that's probably a pretty good gig for someone who's like a little heavier cuz then you're not, you know, you're the fattest guy in the room.

23:33 I could work there. What do you have a job? I know. I'm just saying. I could. Sure, you could work anywhere.

23:38 I get a job there on the weekends. Keep myself busy. I don't hate that. And probably see what the employee discount is over there at DXL.

23:45 That's true. Hey, save couple couple hundred bucks a year doing that. That's That's not bad perk.

23:50 I mean, who's not going to listen to me? Come on. You got to dress You got to dress fresh, though, not them [ __ ] rags you've been walking around in.

23:56 I'd wear the clothes from there. Sure. Plus, there's a pizza place across the street that'll [ __ ] blow you.

24:01 Keep them in business. How you doing? Get a 30% discount. What? Really crazy. What's the hourly hourly rate? And do they offer health insurance in a 401k?

24:13 You have health insurance. They don't know that. Double dip. Pick a card. Any card.

24:20 15 uh about 15 per hour. Mhm. And then if you get to management, you can do 18 to 28 per hour.

24:26 Management. See, that's pretty [ __ ] up to only pay manager $3 more an hour and deal with all that [ __ ] Cuz if I find out you're only making $3 more than me, I ain't [ __ ] listening to you. I'll tell you that [ __ ] much.

24:39 Wow. You would sell me [ __ ] say $3 some sid. You ain't better than me. Mhm. That was always tough for the [ __ ] guy who got bumped up. The guy or girl who got bumped up to it happened at the [ __ ] grocery store all the time. They bump someone up a couple, you know? They were a cashier and then bump.

24:57 Nobody respects you. No. Unless they're new people, which cuz then you come in as the manager. It's like you're you were just [ __ ] genuine

25:05 smoking weed with me 10 minutes ago. Ask my D a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, it's always tough. You see that stuff, you're like, "Yeah, you gotta It's got

25:13 What the [ __ ] Oh, dude, that was You just freaked out. You put your You put your little tootsie on the uh the sticker over there.

25:21 I got to get better at trimming my nails. Look at those things. It's crazy. Would you touch my foot after all? I just did all that. Got my shirt off the [ __ ]

25:30 Show my asshole." No, man. First of all, show the new guy. Hello. That's a [ __ ] lawsuit coming in. Uh,

25:40 what? I'm surpris you. You You played along very It's kind of funny. We very nice. I appreciate this. I needed some new gear, too. Under my nose. What are you talking about?

25:49 Like, I didn't know about it. Yeah, I knew about it. I was at DxO with him. I picked all this stuff out. I was working there.

25:56 My first day. I didn't think I got the discount. This would have cost him $1,000 easy.

26:01 Yeah. No, I'm glad uh I He hit the nail on the head. Some of the stuff a little, you know. No, it's all all per I mean all perfect except for one shirt.

26:09 I told him to get a couple of shackets. You're a big shet guy. Huge shacket season.

26:13 I That's This is a shet. Yeah. Nah. But not The only problem is Here's the thing.

26:19 What's the thing, bud? Except for the t-shirts. If you wash any of this, it's over.

26:25 They can get dry clean. Yeah. Yeah. I I should start dry cleaning more. Definitely

26:30 working there. That shirt is a little big now that you're sitting in it. Drowning in it. I know.

26:35 But it feels comfortable and I don't give a [ __ ] as long as it look good. Trying to represent the business well in meetings and stuff like that. You know, we're meeting some pretty powerful people these days. I don't want to embarrass you. Who are the powerful people we're meeting?

26:51 Think we in today? I talk about Can we Can we talk about that for a second? I screwed the [ __ ] pooch on that.

26:57 I thought you were screwing me out of the deal. I had a feeling that K trying to screw me out of some Cheeit money. I had a feeling

27:04 got the Pepper Swarm people on the phone. So, we uh I had a call with a potential sponsor which I thought was for

27:11 potential paid partnership. Yes. Uh which I thought was for uh I thought we ain't talking about mid rolls. We're talking about company men.

27:20 Sure. Good. You can wear a shirt. Looks like you work here now. It's the Saudis out. Uh I thought the call was at noon.

27:30 Hey, what are we [ __ ] boring you? Little prick. Draft. Cut the Luke. Hit him. Yeah, cut the Luke. Where the [ __ ] are you?

27:38 YEAH, WHAT THE [ __ ] He's probably in the Jitney out to the Hampton's getting one more weekend in. It's the goddamn fall. You're weeks away. It's over. Pack it up. Um, what?

27:52 Real rap. Just you and me anyway. What? What is your excuse not to take this stuff home today? Cuz I get it. Leaving here with stuff. Don't Don't lie. Ah, it's great. I love it. Give me the real feel. I know leaving here with bags of stuff sucks.

28:09 Well, I put What is What What's spinning right now with I got to deal with this.

28:14 I put the jeans on. Mhm. So, there's They're coming home. What's happening with the other pair of jeans? They got something on. I thought it was dog vomit. There's something on them jeans.

28:22 I don't have a dog. I know. Uh, it could be seaman. It was a little red. Dancing with the devil. Where the [ __ ] did you go?

28:32 I had to pee really bad. I'm sorry. I'm professional. Very got you. Caught you sleeping at work.

28:41 I'm back. Uh what's the What's the You're going to take a couple te. So here's I don't think laundry at the house is fully done at the moment. So part of me might think you can take I'll take one or two tea. You're you're like really by yourself 24 hours.

28:58 I'm going to wear this probably. No shoes. I don't know if I'm putting my shoes back on

29:02 cuz I putting shoes back on without socks after they've already been on. Yeah. [snorts]

29:07 Oh, and my and my my things came out. The insoles. Oh, yeah. They they held up.

29:14 So, I might just walk to the car in my in my bare feet. No, you're not. I can't let that happen.

29:17 Sure you can't. No, I can't. Yeah, you can. No, we have standards here. You work here now. We got standards.

29:22 Oh, am I hired? Yeah, too. Sure. Yeah. $15 an hour. Be manager in a couple of years.

29:28 18. Um, yeah. If it was ah I What's the B? You can't take it home. I can't take it home. I can't.

29:36 Why? I have other stuff here. I know you don't take anything home. You have a very leave here with nothing policy.

29:44 Yeah. You like being free. Yeah. But you just get in a car and go home. Yeah. So, what's the uh I do it I don't like

29:55 I don't know. Our Christmas presents take a long time to get home. Yeah. Just like, you know, it's a long day. I mean, we're in here for sometimes 10 hours.

30:03 I'm just lazy. I know. It's just don't want to do it, you know? I don't know what it is. I feel like I I always want to push it off. Whatever it is, everything reminds me I got to call American Express. I got I need

30:19 Hello. That was not me. No, no, no, no, no. I gotta talk to him about what? Couple of things.

30:27 That's not good. Number one, paying the bill. Work out a little deal. Uhhuh. So, we might be getting them on the

30:36 This is brought to you by American Express. I have to leave home without it. I'm legally obligated to leave home without it. They shut my [ __ ] down.

30:45 Okay. Hey, dude. They shut you down. I don't know. Threatened to. I've always paid. You ain't going to shut me down. Uh

30:52 doing business with them. Big cash. Not good business. It's good business for you.

30:59 Solid for them. Yeah, it's all the interest charges paying it. I don't [ __ ] around with that [ __ ] either. They like charging interest. Capital One. It's like a drunk at Christmas.

31:09 Smack them around a little bit. Pay them gift cards if you want to. Yeah. I'll cut the card up.

31:13 Mhm. Yeah. No, this was this was awesome. This was cool as [ __ ] Very sweet of you. And and all everything that I would have bought. What's your favorite thing?

31:23 I mean, the nice polo. You like that? The polo zip up. Polo zip. That's nice. That's like

31:28 That's something you can't I get you to Timmy D stepping on his toes just cuz he wears so much polo, but it's like so many people wear polo zip ups.

31:36 I know. You know, both bigger guys. It's kind of You guys also do have the same orange hoodie.

31:45 That was an accident. I know what I'm saying. Black zip up is s I got one of them.

31:51 Do you wear them at the same time? Do we should be wearing the same [ __ ] like the Ramones?

31:57 Okay. All right. Never mind. You should try this. How about you try this shirt?

32:02 Why don't you go Why don't you go shopping for me? Whoa. Etsy you talk all this [ __ ] Cool guy stuff. Look.

32:10 What size are you? Large. Extra. If that's a problem, I fluctuate a little bit. All right.

32:16 I think if you hit the jeans around a 36, you got the jeans covered. You just need some tops and something with the hair.

32:23 I got bad hair. What do you like? I There's not much there. And get you some moisturizer for the eyes and the face,

32:29 buddy. I got a [ __ ] newborn at home. You're breaking my stones all day. Stop [ __ ] leaning on the kid. The kid skin looks great. You don't hear him complaining.

32:38 It's [ __ ] 8 weeks old. It hasn't been [ __ ] riddled by tobacco booze and loose women.

32:44 Let me go down there and whisper in his ear for a couple hours. Yeah. Turn him to stone.

32:47 Dad, get this guy away from me. Is he saying anything yet? Uh, a lot of lot of like he's trying like obviously there's like but it'll be like he'll hit you with like a he's trying to like obviously not talking but it's like there's a

33:03 no Google Gaga yet. It's funny because they cry. Yeah. Yeah. So, their vocal cords work.

33:09 Yeah. I don't think they have the their brain isn't developed to like just go your brain's barely developed to [ __ ] put words together.

33:15 Is not uh Yeah. I don't think their brains are uh I don't know how it all works, but they don't have fully formed human brains yet.

33:28 So, it was my Listen, I [ __ ] up. Juicy gang. Juicy. Okay, relax, dude. This is how you screw things.

33:37 How do I screw it? Not you. How the uni a real ju right before the email comes in. YOU'RE [ __ ] GOING PUBLIC.

33:43 LOCKED IN. YOU'RE LIKE WHEN TYRESE went public and almost blew the Apple deal with Beats.

33:47 Tyrese. Yeah. Gibson. Is that his name? Yeah. Tyrese. He was with Dre when they made the [ __ ] Apple deal where he became a billionaire. They're drunk celebrating. He gets on [ __ ] Instagram live and he's like, "Yeah, we billionaires out here." They almost [ __ ] fumbled the deal. Jimmy was Tyrese invested in it.

34:07 No, he was just big up in his boy all [ __ ] up. Wait, Tyrese Gibson from Baby Boy?

34:12 Uh, yeah. Wait, is that is that what he did? Who? No, he's an R&B singer. Singer. Tyrese.

34:18 Tyrese. And he was in the Fast and Furious franchise. Oh, I thought he was an actor straight up.

34:24 He's an actor, model. He was like, Triple Threat. Um, wait a minute. Jay-Z sold beats to Apple.

34:32 Dr. Dre. Oh, Dr. Dre and Jimmy Ivine. Beats by Dre it was called. Right. But they stunk.

34:41 They were not the best. They were just the most popular. They were good. Like good. They were fine. They

34:45 So they were more popular than like the Apple headphones. No, Apple or uh Beats had a really big streaming platform that Apple kind of just they start buying up. That's kind of what those people do. Like those like Apples and the Googles and the Facebooks. like Facebook bought Instagram cuz it's like you already you're already got it off the ground and figured out this proprietary technology that we you know we're not going to come up with better technology than you've already discovered

35:12 and you took you you took whatever it was 10 years to figure it out or something they just [ __ ] buy the company it's now now it's [ __ ] apples

35:19 what was the beat what was beat streaming service I don't remember that uh yeah I don't I don't even think it was I don't think it was ever [ __ ] anything but they had they owned Beats owned some sort of My understanding of it, I think they explained in that documentary that Beats Own had better technology like one one piece of code or something that Apple just goes

35:39 their streaming service then became it helped launch the Apple Music. Yeah. That we have today.

35:44 I thought we already had Apple Music back then. No, I think we did. Not where Not the streaming Apple Music that was for like $3.99 or whatever. I think so. Yeah. Whatever it is. I don't Yeah, not streaming. you there was Apple Music where like you put the [ __ ] CD in can like put songs on your

36:00 iTunes? Yeah, iTunes doesn't exist anymore. It still exists. Yeah, but that's more their storefront now.

36:07 Storefront? Yeah. Like you can go buy an album or buy a [ __ ] movie or buy But iMusic you can stream for $3.99 a month.

36:14 It's like their Spotify. Yeah. Listen, I I'm not I don't work in a [ __ ] industry. I've never worked for the company. The loose idea was they bought them due to some technology. still own Beats.

36:26 Yes. Yeah. Wow. I don't They probably dissolve I mean, you know, they're not dissolved it, but they're like

36:32 they they still do the headphones and everything. No [ __ ] Yeah. They weren't buying the headphones.

36:38 They didn't buy the headphones. No, they they did because they bought the company, right?

36:42 But like Apple doesn't need to sell you cool headphones. Why not? I like cool headphones.

36:50 Sure. I'm saying that's not where they make their money. I would argue it's in the technology and the streaming service.

36:54 It's in the Yeah, it was in a bigger investment play. They do make a lot of money on their products cuz it's all proprietary. So, you have to What does that mean proprietary?

37:02 They It's their specific like the [ __ ] There's a reason you buy the Apple earbuds,

37:07 right? Because they're the best and they work best. What did Beats do in sales last year?

37:14 Feel smart with this clothes on. What did Craft Singles close at today? Beats is not publicly traded because it's Apple. It's owned by Apple. So I

37:23 So you don't know you don't know what their sales are? No. Huh. Couple hundred grand. Couple billion. Couple billions.

37:30 A million. No. Million. Probably tens of millions. Definitely. And how much did he sell it for?

37:34 It made them billionaires, right? Yes. It made him and Jimmy I billionaires. Damn.

37:40 Like they each made hundreds of millions of dollars from it. Damn. But they go back to you screwing the pooch. That's what he did. And they almost [ __ ] cuz they they couldn't go public yet.

37:52 Why? That's how those [ __ ] billion dollar deals go through. They don't just like [ __ ] start tweeting it.

37:57 Mhm. They have to do their due diligence. The lawyers to sign the [ __ ] all this [ __ ] can go wrong. So it was like here's the deal. Sign it. Shut up till the [ __ ] ink's dry and we can move forward. Dr. Dre and Tyrese went public on like Instagram live or something bragging. Mhm.

38:14 And then [ __ ] Jimmy I had to go tail between his legs to Apple and was like, "I'm sorry. We got to fix it." Like it was like almost like I wanted to [ __ ] kill him.

38:24 Well, damn. But they would cancel the deal because of that. Yeah. Wouldn't they be excited that you're getting people excited about the launch of this product?

38:31 No. No. No. It's bigger than That's what I'm saying. It's bigger than a product. They're going because now people are going, "Well, they don't Apple doesn't need to buy Beats headphones. They have great headphones. Mhm.

38:43 So, what other propri what other strategic reason? I also don't know. I'm just saying this is how this business stuff works. What other reason would they be buying

38:51 Beats for their streaming site that they've developed that's doing pretty well or whatever the [ __ ] idea is now that competitors go, [ __ ] they're making a move.

39:02 It wasn't to go, hey, all of a sudden we we're now selling beats. It was to then like build out take years build out their streaming thing with Spotify. Now everybody knows what the [ __ ] going on.

39:13 That's right. Okay, I'm with it. Turning me into [ __ ] business insider. I got

39:18 I'm with it. All right. Um, great documentary. The Defiant Ones. Yes. Great. I'd like to go back and get more eyes on that.

39:25 I'm going to go I'm going to watch it tonight. My new clothes. I know. Great. Yeah.

39:31 So good. I like Sopranos. Same streaming service. What do you mean? I believe it's on uh Max. What am I an old man?

39:41 Yeah, I watch Tuby Pornhub. Ph. Um, but that's what you're doing. A big juicy deal and then it's not going to you're going to [ __ ] goo us and it's not going to go through. Also, we don't even know Foley's Foley in this. Could be for 50 bucks.

40:01 Two in the bird, one in the bush. Two birds in your tush. Take that. What the [ __ ] was they?

40:06 So, we were Let's tell the whole tale. Here's the [ __ ] Here's what happened. Here's the turkey of it all. I We had a call originally set for a couple weeks ago for noon. It the time was noon,

40:22 right? We then had to reschedule it last minute. They had to reschedule for last minute to

40:29 uh this week to today. Mhm. And so I tell me and you you have a you have an appointment at [ __ ] you got to go get your driver's license or something.

40:39 I had to get my real ID so I could travel the country. Not with my passport like a loser.

40:46 Mhm. You got a cool shirt like that. You Well, I heard they take you in a room and check you out.

40:50 Really? I don't want you looking too hard. Thought it starts even coming apart at the seams.

40:55 Yeah. Um I start freaking out talking to the fuzz. Kimpy's idea. Gy's got weed. Get him. [ __ ] Are you raning on me?

41:04 He was training on Cessnas all week. Um, oh, by the way, I was going to [ __ ] I was driving up here the other day.

41:10 Mhm. There was like I don't know what kind of plane, but way too small to be landed in Newark airport on the [ __ ] No kidding.

41:18 Like there might have been four people in the It looked like a It didn't look like a It was owned by a company.

41:24 You know what? It could have been um organ donor. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, but aren't they like jets typically?

41:31 Usually, maybe. What kind of plane was it? Like a Cessna. Maybe it was a black market organ donor.

41:37 Okay. Uh, but I was like I remember I was looking up like what in the [ __ ] that guy's that guy's getting yelled at over the intercom for sure.

41:47 What the [ __ ] are you doing? [ __ ] big Delta flight. Lufansza flight coming in over top of them.

41:53 Heavy bike. Um, yeah. Yeah. It was just so funny cuz sometimes those depending on when they're landing, they come right over and you're like, "Oh, that's a huge [ __ ] you see how big the 747s are and shit."

42:04 But then this little guy's like [ __ ] you see him like shifting and stuff. I'm like, "Buddy, [ __ ] yoke that thing up dude." Uh, so whatever. So I'm driving. So I got to drive into the city for a call at noon. You're Ryan D laced you today, too.

42:24 In a good way. Oh, great. What happened? Huh? What happened? Um, I had to get I had to get my I had to get my real ID. Um, I'm an idiot.

42:35 And you dragged your feet on for a long time. I did drag my feet on. That's kind of what I do. That's why these clothes will sit here until the spring.

42:41 No. Sending them home with you. A carrier. Ryan will take them down for No, you can carry your [ __ ] clothes down. [ __ ] am I doing? I just keep bend I just keep bending the rules for this [ __ ] idiot.

42:51 Lunch. I just get a dinner. I can't get and you go. I can't take my clothes. I'm going out to dinner. I'll get them. I'll get them tomorrow.

43:00 I know that, baby. I just keep getting you. Just keep go get beers. I'll get beers. I'm going leave these clothes here. No problem. Can't be a [ __ ] Can't get no chicks with a bag full of clothes. Looking like a goddamn [ __ ] tourist.

43:15 No, thank you. Uh, how'd the day start with Ryan D? Uh, the day Did he set the appointment for you? set the appointment, did the paperwork, told me what to bring, all that kind of stuff. And he's waiting down there with for me with a [ __ ]

43:30 He meets you. He's He meets me there with egg bites and a [ __ ] uh cold brew. Good guy.

43:37 However, you thought you were off the bites. Yeah, it was different today. Why?

43:42 I don't know. My stomach was empty. I was starving. Yeah, I really did. I I didn't eat it all yesterday. I didn't eat all yesterday because I was sick because I took my shot the day before and then didn't eat great that day and then that morning and day here I had egg bites and then I had a chicken Caesar wrap and I went home that night and was [ __ ] felt gross.

44:07 So I didn't eat all that day and then you know now I feel somewhat reset. Um, sure. But he's always got a motive.

44:18 Uh, he did. You know what's going on. I don't know. Yeah, you do. What? You two were talking about it.

44:23 We were talking a thing he's looking for. Oh, certain time. Six man. Sure. Which

44:28 he's a smart kid. Is that what Ry is? Is that what you were angling for? Hey, I love how you're just trashing a [ __ ] guy publicly.

44:38 Not trashing him. You're not big uping him. Yes, I am. You said he was doing it with [ __ ] uh you know

44:44 I don't trust nobody. No, I'm kidding. Of course. Get down there. He's got the egg bites.

44:49 Okay, air it out. What do you got? You know what? Henry comes to the appointment 20 minutes late. Had me sign in late.

44:56 I'm forging signatures. Piece of [ __ ] You signed in for him and the numbers are going. We're We're 94 and they're at 42. He calls me. He wants to chat.

45:05 Show up. I agree. They call our number. He's not there. Really? So, I'm waving people ahead. This is my morning. We should talk.

45:17 What' you say? We should talk. Uh, wow. Wait, go back. Go back. Go back. This is

45:22 You're the best, buddy. This was better than you. You [ __ ] sandbagging son of a [ __ ]

45:27 And I would keep my mouth shut, but you had to. You had He would have see that. He's a loyal soldier in the H. Foley army. I don't know why cuz he's got a [ __ ] for a general, but he's a loyal [ __ ] foot soldier in the H Foley army. And then you publicly get on here and go, "The only reason he's working hard is cuz he's due for a raise." Knowingly, he's got this ammo on you that you [ __ ] show up late.

45:52 Hey baby, can't keep the plate spinning. Meanwhile, he also knows he's leaving that to then go pick to go p to be your personal shopper.

46:04 I didn't know that. I thought you went to pick up the computer. Yeah, we lied to you.

46:10 What do you mean right under my nose? Oh, that's why I That's why I didn't get a laptop.

46:14 No, you're not getting a laptop. All right. You have to You weren't going to get a laptop. He didn't go and get a laptop today.

46:20 I don't think so. It's getting shipped. It's getting shipped. Wow. He's good at his job. 42.

46:27 I I will tell you, Henry, the amount of uh instruction you require, it's like you fill out the form, but I need the social security. You got to point at it on the form. He's writing it in the date part.

46:39 I felt like a real He's writing first name where the last name is. [ __ ] I didn't put my middle name. I [ __ ] everything up.

46:45 What you I feel like that lady was into me. Swing a bit. Hey, you like bad guys who fill out the forms?

46:55 I said, "What do you normally do for lunch around here?" Mhm. And they started talking about Tango Wanga or some place down here. I don't know.

47:00 So, cuz you said, "What do you do for lunch around here?" You thought she was into you.

47:04 I don't know. Talking about lunch. I know. Yeah. It'd be okay. It'd be one thing if she said to you, "Hey, you should try this new lunch place that just opened up down here. You look like you know your way around a chuck web." Um, excuse [clears throat] me.

47:23 Showed up late. Woke up a little late, got in the car. It said I'd be there at 10:05. Okay. But I had put 11 Greenwich Street. I put 11 Greenwich Avenue and not Greenwich Street, which is only 5 minutes away. Uber driver was on point. So I get there, Diesel's waiting in there. Awesome. Cup of coffee, couple egg bites. We sit, we talk, have great conversation. Go up through the first thing, take a picture. I got a new picture coming. Did that, sat down for a little bit. We talked for a while. Went over, uh, filled out the stuff. It was easy peasy. Pull50 it cost me, which I don't know.

48:03 $12.50. I don't know where I get that from. Yeah. You know, you get it from the [ __ ] $669 worth of clothes we just bought.

48:09 That's different. That's This is only for the show, too. He's not allowed to wear this.

48:13 His wardrobe for this is wardrobe for live performances. And actually, you know what? It stays in here. This doesn't go home.

48:20 Really for legal tax purposes. This stays in here. I like it. Um, put on a hanger and you can

48:27 Also, yeah, I'm fine with it staying in here. I didn't have the 1250, so Ryan had to spot me on that.

48:31 You didn't have the 1250? I didn't cash on me. It was only cash. What the [ __ ] Is this the 1400s?

48:37 I didn't have my wallet with me. Yeah, but you went down to get a new ID without your wallet. What the [ __ ] is wrong with you?

48:43 I don't know. Oh my god. Now I had my wallet in between checks. I'm in between jobs.

48:50 No, I paid the uh paid the 12 bucks. Um and then that was it. Saw a homie on the way out. Say, "Hey man, what's up? Big fan." Big shakeup.

48:58 What are you doing for lunch around here? [snorts] Cool guy. Yeah. Got in the car, drove up here. Uber driver was real chatty.

49:06 Oh yeah. This was I've never heard this. Uh and then he had to take a leak. So, we stopped somewhere in Tribeca and he went out and took a piss in some schwarma place, got back in the car, left. You know, he did a pro move though.

49:19 I've first of all, I've taken 10,000 Ubers all over the world at this point. I've never had the driver say, "Let me get out and take a piss."

49:26 I know. That's crazy. But it was double parked on uh Veric Street or something. I can't remember where.

49:33 That's also crazy. Now that Now you're you're holding a hop and you're holding a hop.

49:37 Open the trunk. He's like, "Watch, I open the trunk. Nobody [ __ ] with you." Yeah, but that's still rolling the dice. Cop comes. Hey, you got to you got to get the [ __ ] out of here.

49:44 My car, not my car. I'm drunk, bro. Drunk. It's coming from getting my license. I'm oified.

49:52 Twice the legal minute. What's that from? Drunk guy that like you're twice the legal limit. And he Yeah. Funny. Um, okay.

50:01 So, I'm scheduled to get here at now. We got a call. We have a call. I'm scheduled at noon. I'm scheduled to get in here around 11. Mhm.

50:10 that I then at 10:50 I get a Google alert. What's that? Like you know it it adds it to my calendar to call.

50:21 What do you mean? I don't know how else to explain that. Adds a call. Oh, that that you have a call.

50:25 Yeah, it says you have a call in 10 minutes. What's a Google? What's it sound like?

50:30 No, it's like on my phone pops up. You got 10 minutes or call in 10 minutes. Huh.

50:34 If you ever have an appointment, that will happen. You'll get that. Really? Yeah. Have anybody ever emailed you or anything?

50:40 I don't get [snorts] Google alerts. Well, when was the last time you had a Zoom like and someone sent you like the thing ahead of time?

50:47 Does that come up on my phone or it comes up in my email? I I don't know what you I don't know what system you're working off of. I don't know. You got [snorts] I don't know if you got like Windows 95 or whatever. But if they send it and you you're attending the thing, it adds it to your Google calendar and then reminds you of it.

51:04 Okay. Maybe I do like it pops up like a text message. Yeah, like like an alert.

51:10 Oh, I thought it I think like like a sound. I mean, it could make a sound if that's what your settings are set to, I guess. I don't know. I'm sure it's Google. I'm sure they figured out how to ding your phone as you're doing video communication. I don't think the ding has uh eluded them.

51:27 I'd turn it off. Yeah, me too. But yeah, they have a ding. Okay. You want it to ding?

51:32 Yeah, I want a ding. Yeah, they'll ding. Google alert. Um, they should have a special soundoo. They might.

51:39 That'd be a good one. Are you [ __ ] your pants? I need a swarm of place. Uh, there's some guy sleeping in the bathroom in there, though.

51:52 But me and D had a great morning. Probably I' I'd say one of the best mornings him and I have had in a while. Not that we've had bad ones.

51:59 Sure. But I felt good. Yeah. Felt felt really good for the first time. That's good.

52:05 Yeah. Um, so I uh might have been all the poppers I was on. Kidding. Whatever. Uh, so I'm taking an Uber into the city.

52:17 Mhm. I get a ding in the [ __ ] Midtown tunnel. You got to call in 10 minutes. I go, "Fuck,

52:25 you [ __ ] up. This is a sponsor call. I'm going to drop the ball. I should have given this to the [ __ ] suits. I didn't. I don't want them wetting their beaks on it. I'm gonna handle it.

52:35 Love you, boys. Uh, so I'm like, you know what? Well, it was also just like a, you know, figuring out like it was like a meeting, you know, like a call. Like a

52:43 friendly the discovery call as they say in Is that what it's called? Maybe. I don't know. I heard someone say

52:48 soft pitch. No, just like a, hey, meet these people. You meet these people. Like a sit down and a chat.

52:53 Sure. It's a chat. Chitchat. It's okay for a chat. Not okay for a sitdown. Sure,

52:58 Jackie Jr. Um, so I I get and I go, "Fuck, I text you. Now I'm texting you. You're icing me."

53:06 Oh, yeah. Why? Because you screwed me out of the meeting. So I'm going, "Fuck, I messed up. The call's in 10 minutes. You're not going to be back from the DMV cuz you showed up late." 20 minutes.

53:16 I wouldn't have been there. I would have wouldn't been there anyway. I know. Uh, so I'm like, "Shit." Now I am I don't know why an alltime [ __ ] bozo move by me. I go, "Guys, can we do 11:05?" I should have said 11:15. I only bought myself five minutes. Hey, can we do 10:55? So now I'm like, [ __ ] Open up my computer. It's dead. Now I'm thinking maybe I can take it in the back of the Uber or something. Computer's dead. I got my little travel cup of coffee you've been making fun of me for. Empty right?

53:52 What's in there? It's empty. I finished my coffee. So I throw that in my bag. I get out of the now it's traffic. Gridlock traffic. I got to get out and start cooking. Good thing Good thing Kippy's down about 40 pounds cuz I get out of the car and I

54:08 power walking or running. I'm I start walking and it's so funny how much ground you cover running than walking in the time. And they're not even they shouldn't even be done with the same legs. It's like being in a car versus being in a plane. I start walking. I'm like I got this. I just trying to do the math on that f like a beautiful mind running's when you Okay. Um, so I go I Hey, stop it. I just trashed over here. Looks like Christmas morning. So [snorts] I'm like, [ __ ] Uh, I start walking and then like I don't make it an avenue and like 3 minutes has gone by. I'm like it's like 10:5.

54:53 I got I was under I had under 10 minutes and I am a long way away to be at the pace I'm at. So I walk I like speedw walk half an avenue from like 10th to 9th something like that whatever that is and I go I got to start you I'm booking

55:12 I got to start cooking. Well I start [ __ ] running and I'm going what the [ __ ] kind of life I'm running through the city in jeans and a backpack. Looks like,

55:23 hey, you're hustling in New York City. I know. It looks like he just knocked over a jewelry store.

55:28 The [ __ ] OUT OF THE WAY. I KNOW. [ __ ] bunch of people behind me. Well, coincidentally enough, he calls me.

55:34 Uhhuh. Busting my balls that they're calling my number. I'm about a 4-minute walk away. And to me, he might as well be on Krypton.

55:44 Mhm. So, it's gridlock traffic as well. And I'm like, "Hey, I got to get out." I get out. Soon as I get out, the light changes. I try to get back into the Uber.

55:54 Nuhuh. [ __ ] yeah. That's crazy. Get the door halfway open. The light changes again. Quick light. [ __ ] slammed the door. Walked up. So I got out and hoofed it too.

56:06 Uh-huh. Um, so I'm coming down here. I'm getting to like Uhhuh. this avenue. Sixth Avenue. Whatever. New York's big enough. I get to Sixth Avenue and I'm not at I'm between seventh and sixth and it starts the light at six. I have the light at six. I'm walking at this point. I'm taking a breather. Got an egg bite. Getting a schwarma. I'm I'm taking a breather and that light starts clinking down from 15. And I know at my current rate I'm half an avenue away. I'm not I'm not gonna make that light. I'm not gonna make it to the light in 13 seconds walking and then that's going to be three four minutes.

56:55 You're not tiptoeing through the intersection that say that that Sixth Avenue is tough cuz they cuz they [ __ ]

57:01 You got to cross six a Yeah. Oh, you're [ __ ] Crossing a street. Forget about it.

57:06 Yeah. Crossing that avenue cuz they get that green lights and they come they're coming in hot.

57:10 Yeah. So I'm like, "Oh, fuck." So I'm like you got to this this is you making this call or not only myself

57:18 two more minutes. Yeah. Now I can't go back. Just be careful with your headphones.

57:22 Two more minutes. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I can't go. I apologize. I can't go back. I need three more minutes.

57:27 So I [ __ ] turn the boosters on. I'm the last gas I got. Get across the street. Get upstairs. Get here. Open up my computer. Got to plug it in. There's a little bit of juice that it turns on. I open up my email. I click the link. I get in. It says join. I join. It says

57:44 launch the call. Who's the deal? Waiting for a host to let you in. It's then it starts spinning. Host letting you in. My computer turns off. I look over. The coffee from my travel mug. The the drops have spilled out, landed in the charging ports, and this is now all soaked. Now it won't ch the computer won't charge. I'm panicking. Look. And then he's texting me. I was just letting you in and you disappeared.

58:11 Playing hard ball, man. This kid is an international businessman. I got to take it on Luke's. I got to call in his [ __ ] Louiswis Dempsey over here.

58:21 Oh my god. Huffing and puffing. I'm Dude, just making the Dempsey group look better and better, huh?

58:25 Luke's like, catch your breath. I'm [groaning] Yeah, we love to do business with you. I'm like, Luke, order me some egg bites.

58:35 Hey, well, you set it up all along, didn't you? Wow. screwed me. But it all worked out.

58:40 Hopefully. We'll see. Uh but yeah, what a [ __ ] uh what a wild turn of events. New guy got some gear. Might have a new deal coming in.

58:47 Can't thank you guys enough. This was this was this was so much fun and I appreciate it. And Ryan, you're the absolute best. I'm gonna get it from him. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next weekend. Peace.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Patreon Episode: Foley's Fashion Show! | Are You Garbage (FULL)"?

In order: 0:00 Blue Bell, Pennsylvania, Lucas Patukus; 10:00 Robert Graham; 15:00 Robert Graham; 30:00 Beats by Dre; 35:00 Apple Music.

What is mentioned in this AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast episode?

7 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Robert Graham, Lucas Patukus, Blue Bell, Pennsylvania, Beats by Dre, Apple Music, DXL. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Patreon Episode: Foley's Fashion Show! | Are You Garbage (FULL)"?

The episode runs 59 min; the transcript is about 12,124 words in 394 timestamped sections.

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