Transcript

Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 2 min · 11,858 words · 393 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published December 10, 2025 (1 h 2 min, about 11,858 words). It mentions 87 people, works and ideas, including billionaire, Cali, Columbia University, Ryan Seacrest, University of Georgia (UGA).

What this episode is about

The content discusses the universities that produce the most billionaires globally, highlighting both expected and surprising institutions. It also features a light-hearted conversation about songs associated with names, emphasizing a mix of entertainment and factual information around wealth generation and higher education.

Key takeaways

  • Sophia song search falls flat—musical fame eludes namesakes like giraffe toys.
  • Mambo Number Five immortalizes Monica, leaving Sophia in lyrical obscurity.
  • Harvard churns out billionaires, 104 strong—it's a lavish leadership factory.
  • Columbia shocker: protests aplenty, yet fourth in billionaire genesis.
  • Mumbai ties Cornell; global billionaire education isn't just American dominance.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: billionaire, University of Mumbai, Fudan University, Moscow State University
  2. – 20:00: billionaire, Mocha Moose, Black tech billionaires, Cloud Dancer
  3. – 30:00: Brentwood Country Mart, Christmas Vacation, Houston's
  4. – 40:00: Alison Roman, Brick Tops, Die Hard, Dr. Mo Hannah
  5. – 50:00: Casper, water bottle, Bruce Colton, butane tank
  6. – 1:00:00: Dell's, ancient Rome, Bruce Colton, Criminal Profile
  7. – 1:02:00: country club

Notable quotes from "Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner"

  • Do you think most Sophie? That's Sophie.
    about Sophie · at
  • So this one was the universities producing the most billionaires.
    about billionaire · at
  • There is an India one, but it's University of Mumbai, which could be.
    about University of Mumbai · at
  • Okay. Moving on. USC. next is University of California, Berkeley 15.
    about University of California, Berkeley · at
  • Nope. It was Mocha Moose, but it was really close to mouse, so it was me.
    about Mocha Moose · at
  • Do you think Colton Scriber sounds like a character name in something? I do. I don't know what genre like Old West movie or something.
    about Bruce Colton · at
  • People cannot get over the rat in the water bottle. And now I So I have that tea kettle, tea kettle, electric tea kettle. I have that very one that's next to us in my.
    about water bottle · at
  • On New Year's Eve one year. Everyone was in town for a car show and we went out to Dell's, this bar that Scotty and I went and sang karaoke at all the time.
    about Dell's · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Cali — Person · 10 mentions
  • Ryan Seacrest — Person · 6 mentions
  • Bruce Colton — Person · 2 mentions · first at
  • Tope Awotona — Person · 2 mentions
  • Sophie — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Koch brothers — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Did the Koch brothers go there? Are they from Georgia?
  • Dr. Mo Hannah — Person · 1 mention · first at
    But then when we got to Nashville, Hannah, sweet Hannah, most beautiful singer in the world. Yes, she had made a whole other Thanksgiving.
  • Alison Roman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Already said and someone she went to Colombia with was at this event I was at last night. This Allison Roman book event.
  • Colton Scriber — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Do you think Colton Scriber sounds like a character name in something? I do. I don't know what genre like Old West movie or something.

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • Calendly — Company · 4 mentions
  • Zankou Chicken — Company · 3 mentions
  • Houston's — Company · 1 mention · first at
    We're putting up all this stuff and then we do a special lunch normally at Houston's and it's a whole thing. It's a whole day. It's a beautiful day.
  • Brick Tops — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Let's go downtown to Bricktops. Let's go out to this restaurant. Well, with 22 people, we're not going to a restaurant.
  • Southwest — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Should be a double day holiday. And then we all flew home on Southwest on Sunday, one of the busiest travel days of the year.
  • Ziploc — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. It couldn't reseal a Ziploc bag once it got inside.
  • Saw franchise — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. Okay. did the Saw franchise make a billion dollars? Yes. 1.1 billion worldwide.
  • Casper (mattress company) — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

  • water bottle — Product · 2 mentions · first at
  • bag — Product · 2 mentions
  • straw — Product · 2 mentions
  • butane tank — Product · 1 mention · first at
    You should be way more worried about getting a 28 in butane tank up your butt. That also happened in Armchair Anonymous. But are you worried about that?
  • Ziploc bag — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. It couldn't reseal a Ziploc bag once it got inside.
  • brush — Product · 1 mention
  • tarna — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

  • billionaire — Concept · 14 mentions · first at
  • Ebola — Concept · 3 mentions
  • Mambo No. 5 — Concept · 3 mentions
  • Mocha Moose — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
  • Casper — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Definitely. Okay. You said Casper wasn't successful.
  • Pantone Color of the Year — Concept · 2 mentions
  • Sophia the giraffe — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Black tech billionaires — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I don't know because he's not white. One of just two US black tech billionaires.
  • Cloud Dancer — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    In color. It's called Cloud Dancer. And it's white.
  • superstition — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. And so when does it cross over into it being a superstition, pathological or a superstition or something that's actually not causing joy, causing suffering?
  • Christmas Vacation — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Through some of the movies. Yeah. And I do feel like if it's December 24th Yeah. and we haven't watched Christmas Vacation. Yeah.
  • Die Hard — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    We did Die Hard first night Christmas movie.
  • Scrooged — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • reincarnation — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    They're like reincarnation, which is great.
  • cremation — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Well, I liked this at my aunt's memorial during the cremation. There's so much emphasis on this is this it's just this physical body that's gone now but that's all it is. Yeah. Exactly.
  • morbid curiosity test — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • head transplant — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    If a head transplant was possible, I would want to watch the procedure. Now, we got the same situation. Strongly disagree. Disagree. Somewhat disagree.
  • supernatural — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Okay. I think the supernatural is an interesting topic.
  • public execution — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Oh. If I lived in medieval Europe, I would be interested in attending a public execution. A Yeah, agree.
  • exorcism — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I would be interested in attending or watching a video of an exorcism.
  • gladiatorial fight — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    If I lived in ancient Rome, I would be interested in attending a gladiatorial fight.
  • occult — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Okay. I find the occult interesting.
  • voodoo — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    A documentary on voodoo would interest me.
  • mummification — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I think the preservation of bodies like in taxiderermy or mummification is interesting.
  • Criminal Profile — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Being a criminal profiler who studies the personality of murderers would be an interesting job.
  • paranormal — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Okay. Your paranormal score 2.33.
  • New Year's Eve — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    People that I thought were being put out by this energy. This happened perfectly on New Year's Eve one year. Everyone was in town for a car show and we went out to Dell's, this bar that Scotty and I went and sang karaoke at all the time.
  • Beverly Hills Cop — Concept · 1 mention
  • Casper (1995 film) — Concept · 1 mention
  • Casper the Friendly Ghost — Concept · 1 mention
  • FOMO — Concept · 1 mention
  • spirit as vessel (body-as-vessel concept) — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

Full transcript with timestamps

We hope you enjoyed this episode. Unfortunately, they made some mistakes. Is there a famous Sophia song?

Oo, I can't think of one. I don't think so. Sophia the giraffe. Do you think most Sophie? That's Sophie. Oops.

I know. Do you think most names have songs? Yeah. Wow, that's cool. You've heard your song, right? A little bit of Monica in my life. A little I'm not gonna sing.

A little bit of Monica in my life. Yeah. Mambo number five. Do they say Monica?

Uhhuh. Oh, they do. Oh, yeah. I was thinking of a different song. What? You know, it's like Monica. Monica, I think I want your number. Monica.

Oh, but is that not it? I don't think so. Oh, that's Gloria. But I like that. Well, you were like, "Damn, this actually sounds like it could be a hit because it was."

Sure. Well, I knew it was a hit, but I didn't think it was my name. And I was right.

I think I know more, but I have to really think on it. Okay. Well, we already know Mambbo number five. That's pretty good.

That's really good. Yeah, that's more than there are Dax songs. I know your yours is

That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. You got a chair. Oh, I just got a weird fun list. You know, I follow this account on Instagram. I really like it. I'm shocked I haven't sent you forwarded you any.

What is it? It's just all data and it's all global data. Okay. Um, so this one was the universities producing the most billionaires.

Oh, is that kind of interesting? Yeah. But is it obvious or there's some twists and turns?

I mean, it's obvious. What's interesting is this is the world over. Okay. This is every university in the world.

Okay. And of the Let's see how long this list is. One, two, three, four, five, six seven eight nine 10 11 22.

And I wonder, no, 21. Are you feeling antsy to read them all? Cuz like now you know what it's like.

No, I more wanted you to guess. Oh, okay. Out of 21, how many uh are not American? That's

not count. I mean, I was gonna let you cuz that was a good clue. Yep. Yeah. Okay. I think

big world. It's a big big world, isn't it? China is a huge country. Over a billion people

and Oh god. Okay. Now, what about like undergrad and grad cuz this is tricky cuz some of these people might have gone to an undergrad in one place and a grad in another.

Do you think you're overthinking it? But let me see if it if it delineates that.

I am thinking it through. I guess it would have to mean everything. Their graduate program, their undergraduate programs, like the school. How many did the school produce?

Okay, this is hard because I think most billionaires um go to graduate school most.

Okay. And I think they come a lot of them come here for graduate school. Sure. So, I'm gonna say six of them are not [snorts]

great. Seven. Okay. Okay. Now, what's crazy is how um dramatic the difference is, right? So, first place, what's your guess? Go, you know,

say it. Harvard. Okay. Harvard has aund has produced 104 billionaires. Mhm. Third place has produced 38.

Wow. Yeah. Second place 69. Great number. Congrats to I'll give it away. Stanford.

I was gonna say Okay. You want to guess three? Yeah. I want to I want to guess. You always get to guess.

Yeah. Um MIT. Great guess. You want to know what number that is? Yeah. That's number five.

Okay. So, and what about not Yale? Is that a guess? Oh my god. You're you're mean about list. I am fun about them.

Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. Ask me again. Not you. No, no, no. Not you. Okay. Um, is Jesus. Okay. Harvard, Stanford, not Yale. Um, what was MIT again? Five.

Five. Okay. Uh, one above MIT is a shocker. The other one's like, yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Is um Princeton. No. No. I I I take it back. I take it back. I'm looking I don't even know if Princeton's Oh, no. Princeton made the list in the high teams. Is Caltech on there?

No. Oh [ __ ] Um, okay. If you tell me number three is UCLA, I will be so I won't believe this list. Okay,

that'd be great though. Right under Stamford ahead of MIT. Is it IIIT? Is that on the list at all?

Um, there is an India one, but it's University of Mumbai, which could be. Yeah. Um, and that's pretty high up. So the first country to make the list after the US in 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 eighth place is University of Mumbai with 22 billionaires and I guess that makes them tied with Cornell which is above them for some reason. Yeah. Okay. You want to hear third?

Yeah. Penn. Oh Wharton. Yep. So they have 38. So again 104 69 for Stanford 38 for University of Pennsylvania. Now four I thought was I was like really

can you give me a hint? [clears throat] Oh [ __ ] That's what's fun about Liz. Yeah. Okay. There were a lot of protests here.

Berkeley. No. Oh, more recent the [clears throat] newsworthy. I'll give you a hint. It's in New York.

Colombia. Colombia. Really? Can you believe Colombia's four? No disrespect to Columbia graduates.

Shocked. But I do you know maybe one of the explanations for that again it's going to sound like I'm taking the wind out of Columbia sales but you're already in New York and the families that are already rich people who live in Manhattan are among the richest people in the country. So you're saying they were they probably entered already in a great position

inherited billionaire status some of them or they started with quite a bit and made it more. I just don't think of Colia as um

a money-making school. Yeah. I think of it more create some creative I mean Cali went there.

Yeah. And she is on track to be a billionaire so it makes sense. That makes sense. So Columbia is number four. MIT five with 28 billionaires.

Okay. I'm shocked that's not higher. Yale 24. Okay. Cornell 22. University of Mumbai 22. Uh, can't pronounce this university, but it's in China.

Okay. 19. Great. To Singa. Okay. NYU. Yeah. 18. USC. Yeah. Yeah. Again, rich kids go there. It's like you start with a private school. That's a lot of money.

Yeah. That Yes. That of course all of these are hard. Like it's much more common for someone to go from a millionaire family to a billionaire than I think it is

from a welfare family to a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Okay. Moving on. USC. Uh, next is University of California, Berkeley 15.

Um M 15. Tied with Berkeley. P. King University 14. Moscow State University 13. Wow. Princeton 13.

University of California, Los Angeles 12. University of Chicago 12. Fudan University 12. Seoul National University 12. and Xi Jang University 12.

Wow, that was a fun list, right? Yeah. See, you did them all. You didn't do top 10. It's really, you know, lists when you're reading them, you want to keep going. And now you understand. I know. Now you really understand it.

I'm have to I'm going to push back a little bit though. I Your lists Yeah. are really rarely 21. They're often a h 100red and I am scared of 100.

And we'll just see next time you're holding a list that's a hundred and we'll see what happens.

Okay, we'll see. We'll see. I'll continue to screen grab my favorite post on Instagram.

That is really fun. Now h how many universities do we think have produced one billionaire? Like do we think almost all have? No. Well, there's the whole point of this was they just announced like currently there's 2,990ome billionaires worldwide.

Okay. So, in reality that's not a ton of billionaires out of seven billion. Exactly. Like sometimes you think billion is diluted. I do like I'll I'll start thinking like

I guess billion means what a million meant to me when I was a kid. Like when you're a kid, you knew someone that was a millionaire. It was like unimaginable. But you just the news is is populated with stories of people becoming billionaires. I just read like the youngest female billionaire of all time was just crowned like a 27year-old who created some I think marketplace where you can bet on all kinds of weird things elections and that's kind of what I discerned from what the article said.

Okay. But yeah, I think she's 27. Yeah. Younger than Taylor was I think the youngest up until then. She really are. I I mean I don't want to [ __ ] on this 27y old but sounds like she's taking from the poor and the vulnerable. So um okay listen I just Googled how many universities in the world this is annoying because it should be it should be very clear.

Uh but it says there are an estimated 25,000 to 50,000 universities in the world.

Well that is a great quick answer to no. They couldn't have all produced a billionaire.

Exactly. Yeah. I wonder if University of Georgia has produced a billionaire. I'm gonna look up.

I bet it has. Let's go UG. Let's go dogs. Uhoh. For the listener, Monica's jaw opened up like it reticulated like a a snake about to eat a copy bar and then it closed. And I'm not sure what that means.

Well, the University of Georgia, UG. Go dogs. Roll tide. Take it back. You're not allowed.

Roll dogs. You're not allowed. I know. It's so fun. Has many successful alumni, including celebrities like Ryan Serest. That's not true. AI is not right.

Oh, he did not go there. His sister went there. I Okay, now I'm worried, but I'm I feel really

I'm almost shocked we've never interviewed Serest. Wow. It does say he went there.

So, AI is correct. I'm shocked, too. He's your age. Old. [snorts] He's 50. Yeah.

It's all the more reason to be on the show. That's why I said that. He find himself in good company.

Oh, but he didn't get a degree. I got two. So, um All right. He can have one of mine. Okay. Including celebrities like Ryan Serest and Georgia is home to billionaire. Oh, Georgia. The state is home to billionaires. Duh. Like the Kathy family of Chick.

Did the Koch brothers go there? Are they from Georgia? I don't know. Specific list of billionaire alumni often.

I'm conflating Coca-Cola and KO Brothers probably. Okay. I don't think we have any secret.

What is wrong with you? That was a good joke. No, it wasn't. I don't even get it why. Because he's from the stupid doesn't make sense cuz he's from Kentucky. Clearly, Kentucky Fried Chicken. But it's kind of funny.

I didn't understand it. Okay. Ryan Serest is not a billionaire. No. So, seems like maybe we don't have any [snorts] yet.

You have a real task on your hands. Do you think people would be happy for you?

Right. No. Okay. That's fair. I don't think any It's so interesting. Like I feel like unanimously people hate billionaires.

I know. Yet 100% of people would want a billion dollars. I know. It's like make up your mind. You can't want something and hate it at the same time. But you can because people are complex.

Yeah, we're full of contradictions. You're right. I found one. This says the guy that founded Kalen Kalandley Taupe Alonia.

Are you reading from Jing? Are you doing a China? He But he graduated from UG. Oh, that was his name.

I thought you were talking about product. I heard I heard Kalandley founder Cap Kalen

Kalen Kalen. I don't know how to say it. I give up. Yeah. What's his name? It's like calendar but L Y and no E R.

Oh my god. Calendar with an L Y and no E R. What's his name? Oh boy. OKAY, FORGET IT.

I DON'T BELIEVE. OKAY. OH. OH, look at the zero to hero. Okay, great. Yeah, everything in this picture.

Awatona. You did a good job with Awatona. I think the mastermind behind the scheduling app Calendarly. I don't like the name of that. We didn't need Lee.

Hey, just I love him. He's a wonderful person. Obviously, it was working for people.

I think it's great. Um because you know what? It made him a billion dollars. So, it can't The name can't have been too bad.

Absolutely. Now, I want I'm going to ask a very dangerous question. If he were white

Yes. This is a black man. This is a black man. If he were white, would you like the name Kalen Lee?

Come on. I don't know because he's not white. One of just two US black tech billionaires. That's amazing. And he went to Georgia.

So sad, but yes. Amazing. Well, it's sad, but it's cool that he went to Georgia. But he is taking my spot as the first billionaire to come out of that school.

Yeah, that's okay. You can root for him. Of course I do. Yeah. Yeah. And what a great And what a great man.

Actually, this is interesting. Do you think people don't root for him? I do. I think

from zero to hero. I think they do. They should. I think we all have, as we should, we have a different appetite for when black folks get a lot of money. I think when black folks floss and they're like showy and have big cars and stuff, we don't care.

I agree. And we should when white folks do it, you're like, Jesus Christ, man, get it together.

Just calm down. But I Yeah. Never bothers me if someone's um flossing and flexing. And that changes per ethnicity, which is so weird and funny. Like each human being is just a human being.

[snorts] Yeah, you know, but there are societ I mean there's just struggles that we can't you know there's societal struggles that are embedded and you know we know about embedding

we know about all that. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. All right. So to be clear, I have I don't have a billion dollars and I don't want anyone to come after me because I don't have that. Now this is a ding ding ding.

They are angry enough at what you got already. I know. And I actually I think that's frustrating to me.

A self-made lady, not born into wealth. One generation away from abject poverty.

My dad grew up in a village. Literally in a village. That's a big deal. It is huge.

Yeah. Yeah. So, people need to get on board. They need to wake up. They need to wake up. Now, woman of color. Me.

Yeah. Ding ding ding. Two things to say about women of color. Mhm. One thing to say about women of color.

The pan this woman of color. Oh, the panton. Exactly. I saw that today and I got very excited for you and I even followed a link to see the color.

You did? so that I could be supportive of this. And the link had 300 popups and I was never able to see the color.

Oh, well, it seems like you're not following me close enough on Instagram. I haven't been on Instagram today.

Okay. I posted about it yesterday because um as people may or may not know, I use the Panone Color of the Year as my phone background. So, this is a very exciting day for me when it's revealed and I have it for the following year. It's Last year it was Mocha Mouse. Nope. It was Mocha Moose, but it was really close to mouse, so it was me.

Yes. This year is a disappointment. In name or color? In color. It's called Cloud Dancer. And it's white.

The color is white. It is like, is there wisps of blue in there? I don't like the background they chose. It's so confusing. Well, the background they are trying to they're trying to make it better by putting it on a sky, which it is better on a sky because as it is, it's just white.

Yeah. I don't know if you're going to be able to have a full white background. You won't be able to see anything.

Okay. So, this is the issue. So, it's a little gray. Okay. But as like a teeny bit of gray.

Mhm. And this really made me go down a mental rabbit hole. Okay. You are going to be able to see because what do you mean? You'd still be able to see

that's that. No, no, this is Mocha Moose. I'm not allowed to put it on earlier. It's bad luck.

Also, like once that whites there, you don't even see your calendar and your all that stuff that's white goes away.

Well, it's a little gray. Well, we're about to find out. I know. Now, that's the thing that sent me down a rabbit hole. Okay.

I was like, "Fuck this white. That's going to look so dumb on this phone." How committed am I to tradition? And you're very committed. I'm extremely committed. Me as

a core tenant of your identity. Yeah. And I was really thinking about that last night. I was like, man, because somebody was like, oh, so are you just not going to do it? And I was like, no, I'm I have to do it

because it would be bad luck not to. Like maybe I I wouldn't go so far as to actually I don't think I think that. I don't think it would be bad luck. I think I would be like I think I would just be very sad.

Okay. like that something was ending. You lost something. I lost something. Something that I enjoy a lot and that and that like makes me happy, I look forward to is no longer a thing.

Um is is a little too much for me. Yeah. Yeah. So, um I'm going to have a a white background on the phone, but it didn't I was like, God, at what point I mean that's like my controlling nature.

Uhhuh. At what point could I say like, you know, it's okay. You don't you can put it doesn't have to be that.

I think it's funny how the mechanism to me seems very related to addiction, which is like you do this thing one time.

It gives you this feeling and you now just have to have that feeling all the time. So it's like whatever first time you did this, you liked how that felt.

Yes. And you want to use this mechanism to feel good. Yeah. Again and again, I'm not saying like there's anything wrong with that,

but it feel it it does remind me of addiction, right? So like but I think most people would say like they have traditions.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. And and so when does it cross over into it being a superstition,

pathological or a superstition or something that's actually not causing joy, causing suffering?

Well, I don't have this opinion, but I can imagine this opinion, which is the more traditions you have, the less real estate there is for new discovery.

That's just in life. If you could imagine like currently we have like seven holidays or some something like that where we all do kind of the same thing and that's lovely.

Yeah. If you had 364 holidays that would leave a single day to discover something new or novel,

right? So there's got to be a magic balance. I think it's a balance. I do think there's something really special and beautiful about consistency and commitment. [clears throat]

Mhm. And it's hard to do both of those things in life. So I I it's meaningful to me. But if Yeah. If you make everything a tradition, then it's not special. But I don't think I make everything a tradition. But this is a tradition.

Mhm. And when did it start? Also, how do you get that image on your phone? Do you go to it, zoom in, take a screenshot, and then do it?

Yes. Okay. Cuz I have to use the actual thing by You probably can. [ __ ] that. How do I spend my money? Kal and delete

way rather. It really rolled off your tongue and it's a great name. All good names roll off your tongue.

That's right. Starbucks. Um, so I think it was like four or five years ago. Okay. So, you're not that in bed with it?

No, I'm not. I'm not. But it does bring me joy. It's like, oh, it's coming. I know. I know. Yeah. I Can you just get a phone case that's in that color?

Oh, no. See, and then this is where this is where maybe I am too stubborn. It's like, yeah, that's probably a good thing to do. That's a good solve. It's like, oh, I'm still it's still part of it, but no, I need it to be the background because that's how it is and that's how it's supposed to be.

There is a level of rigidity. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think how rigid I am. What would you give assess me out of 10

on tradition? This is a dumb question because it's going to be context dependent. Yeah. As everything is. I actually don't think um you are like hyper.

Yeah, I'm not like you're not hyper rigid. Well, you are. And some you go you go, I don't really think you are. And I go, yeah, I'm not done. And you go, well, hold on.

No, you didn't let me finish my sentence. That's the problem. I was going to say you're I don't think you're rigid at traditions.

Okay. Okay. Okay. But I think you have areas in life where you're tightly wound.

Yeah. Well, you're right. I am a That's why I'm saying was this dumb question because it's like on one hand I am such a creature of habit. I love routines more than anything.

Yes. You're very rigid about that. I am. I am. Now, I don't get upset though when I don't get to do it. I just do it. And when the times I can't, I I'm I'm okay with it.

Well, you know, sometimes you're like, "And I didn't get to work out today." And you know, you do.

Yeah. I go if I have to miss like it happens at least once or twice a week where I I can't work out cuz we have two guests and there's just no time and I roll with that. But yeah, if it's three days in a row I can't work out then I'm starting to

but I'm also starting to feel worse. Exactly. Yeah. I mean yes on the scale. No, you're not at a hundred of even that even like the routine. Some people they really can't handle any deviation. Um, and then I think on tradition, uh, you don't have any, so

so [ __ ] it. No, I'm kidding. I think you like traditions, but I don't think you're married to them. And

I do think I value novelty more than tradition, [clears throat] right? That's true. We're very different in that way.

I, you know, I love tradition, though. I love Christmas. That's Well, you love Christmas, but you don't have to do the same thing. I mean,

no. No. In fact, we're switching the whole thing up this year. Last year was a different thing than the year before.

Exactly. But I mean, in so far as I want the lights, I want the tree. I want all that stuff. And I want to watch the same movies. You know, I've already gotten through some of the movies. Yeah. And I do feel like if it's December 24th

Yeah. and we haven't watched Christmas Vacation. Yeah. I get this feeling like I [ __ ] up,

right? Like it's a real How'd this happen? Yeah. I'm disappointed in myself. Okay. So, this year your trees were delivered right?

No, this year Carly went and got three trees. Yes. You guys did not go pick out trees this year,

which is the first time in 12 years of having kids that we didn't go do the thing.

Yes. And I when I But as you remember from previous trips, it's often a disaster.

But it's but that's what's like that's fun. You're right. And when you said like, "Oh yeah, Carly got the trees." I

you had a little sh I was like, "Oh my god, you guys didn't go do that." And not not for any other reason than like, "Isn't that like a tradition?"

Right. Right. Right. Right. And so for me, I mean, that's pig day. That's Jess and I. We get our tree every year. It's it's a

If you were going to miss that, it would No, I can't miss it. Yes. And I mean, well, we can just tell people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Peek behind the curtain. Yeah. Um, we had a there was a bit of a debacle. We had a pod,

not fight. No, just a a a pod complication. Yeah. A pod drama. We had a pod drama.

And I'll say my perspective. Okay, great. If that's okay. Yeah. So, yeah, we have these traditions. We do secret turkey and and Thanksgiving with everyone and it's so it's so special.

Yeah, totally. And I feel that everyone thinks that. Yes. And I they do. Yeah, absolutely.

So, okay, that's great. Now, I have like so many traditions. You have about seven or eight

during that weekend specifically. It's my favorite weekend of the of the year. Yeah.

And it starts off with mom's giving. Yeah. Then it's our pods giving. So special. Then I have Black Friday tradition with Cali at Brentwood Country Mart where we get all the sales.

Well, it's where all the deals are. I've been told by some experts that there's not a lot of deals at that.

I'm an expert in Black Friday. Nobody is. Nobody else is. Um, so we go there and that's like a beautiful fun day I have with Cali. You know, Cali is a family. So, it's everyone's like just making decisions to put that aside and make time for one another. Yeah.

And then culminating Saturday with Jess pig day, we go to Home Depot. I don't know if we're allowed to go to Home Depot anymore, but we do. And we are. And we get our tree. And then we give birth to it.

Yeah. And I do. Um, and then we put it up. He puts the lights up. And now we're in Christmas.

And now we're in Christmas zone. and we're putting up all this stuff and then we do a special lunch normally at Houston's and it's a whole thing. It's a whole day. It's a beautiful day.

Yeah. And then this year, understandably, of course, um you guys were like, "We want to maybe go to Nashville."

Yeah. I sent a text to everybody. Yes. To the to the whole group that said like "Hey

22ish pe Well, not in the kids included, but they weren't on the text. But anyways, a lot of people

and it said like we're tossing around the idea of going to Nashville for Thanksgiving. We'll pay for everyone very generous. We'll pay for everyone to go basically like how do people feel about that?

And [clears throat] [ __ ] [clears throat] Okay. And then I made a grave error.

I responded very quickly. I'm also very on top of my phone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I responded very quickly. I can't go because I have traditions with Calie and Jess. And by the way, normally we do our pods giving on Thursday on on Thanksgiving. Yeah. And I was like, I have traditions with Cali and Jess Friday and Saturday.

So I can't go. Um, but if it works for everyone else, have fun. Go do it. Have fun.

And a thumbs up. Okay, now I'm going to stop outing now from here because I want to talk about just us. But like then somebody responded immediately.

Uhhuh. And said, "Yes. Oh my god, this is great. I'm so happy." And I got really sad.

Die. Like something like really died inside of me. Yeah. And um it was a very outsized reaction.

Uhhuh. But it was very very I wasn't like I wasn't being dramatic. I was feeling

core fear was ignited. Abandonment. I'll be alone. They'll I'm disposable. I I thought this meant the same thing to everyone as it does.

Everyone else is white. I'm brown somehow. I did not. It wasn't that. It was a little bit of pilgrims and Indians situation, but um no, I it was just like wait, why wouldn't this why wouldn't we what like it it really it was very destabilizing.

Mhm. And then I knew I was like, "Well, I can't I can't do this where I'm just like so upset on my own and like resentful of everyone because they've done this."

Yeah, cuz they've decided to go even though I said you can go, which was my fault.

Thumbs up. No, be nicer. I'm being pretty nice, I think. Okay. Okay. And [snorts] then I

I've only added one thing to the story and it was thumbs up twice. Okay. And then and then I I really couldn't do it. So I responded back cuz then then people other people are chiming in.

Uhhuh. And I said I I'm going to be honest. This makes me so sad. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm going to remove myself from the chain.

Yeah. And that was a self-p protection that was like I can't keep seeing these texts come in today.

That's fine. Um, and then I removed myself from the chain and then there was then it was a drama because pod drama.

Yeah, there was pod drama because I was very upset and then people were upset that I was upset but they still wanted to go on the trip and then you wanted to cancel the trip and you were mad at me and

well I wondered when you were going to jump in. Well, just I just want to say from my perspective I sent this text

and then I didn't look at that chain. I missed everything. By the time I'm alerted that this pod drama is going on, Kristen has said, "Oh no, Monica removed herself from the chain." And I'm like, "I don't even know what that means."

Sure. You're not very techsavvy. No, I'm as we know. And then so I then kind of go through now I'm seeing the whole thing pretty far after it all happened. And then I just wrote, "You know what, guys? Scrap it. No problem. Let's just We'll go back to

I wasn't on that." Oh, yeah. I sent it to everyone. I said, "Well, okay, that's probably not a good idea, so just forget it."

And then, yeah, that caused its own thing cuz people were excited to go. And then you and I had an issue cuz you're like, "No, you have to."

Well, and I was like, "I'm not going to do anything that prevents you from being with us on Thanksgiving."

Well, well, I was mad at you. You were You're You're skipping some steps. Yeah. I was mad at you.

You were mad at me. I was mad at you for not being honest the first text. Yes. cuz I felt like it ended up trapping.

Yeah, you felt like I I trapped people, which which I did do unintentionally. I thought the right that I was doing the right thing and then immediately I was like I

I also and I owed you an apology and I'll still say I'm sorry is I was like that felt like a test.

I know. And it that was the part that I was like I got my own trigger is just like I have certain people in my life our life that

will test you like they need to and I and I that's a big one for me. So now all of a sudden I was like well this was a trap like you said go everyone have fun.

Yeah. You got you got worked up about that piece and I and it was not I was not trying to do that. I was not trying to test that. But you know what I didn't have, which you might have thought I had, which I really didn't have. I had no no part of me was like, "Oh, [ __ ] Now we can't go to Nashville." I didn't have that. I was like, "Okay, cool." I floated the idea. It backfired. Let's just we'll stick with the normal thing, right?

And then my family will go to Nashville on Friday or whatever. Yeah. I didn't I didn't I didn't even

like I wasn't upset to cancel the idea, but I'm I would I understand why that would make you sad and upset. You love it there. You want to go there. You want to spend your time.

Also, several members of our pod have never been there. Yes. So, I was like, "Oh, this is great. This will be a we'll be able to get everyone together." And

well, and then that was al there was also layers. I mean, it's so layered and so complicated, but I, you know, you then, you know, we record the next day

and we're mad at each other and you, but I I would I was never upset with you or Kristen,

right? I mean, this is unfair to everyone else, but I wasn't. I was like, "Oh, of course they they are just offering up something nice. They're just floating it. I felt so sad when it was like just yeses across the board after I had immediately said I can't go. That was the painful part. It had nothing to do with the trip. The trip great like

yeah of of course you guys want to go do that. I would want to go if I didn't have these things. So the problem is then like I come in, you're upset with me because of this potent this entrapment and I am not upset with you but then I'm like oh he's being so he's so mad at me.

Yeah. Yeah. For being hurt. Yeah. And I'm like where's the empathy? I'm so sad.

I know. I know. We worked it out. We worked it out. And then the solution was we had Thanksgiving on Wednesday.

It was perfect. No problem. It was [ __ ] great. It was perfect. And then we all flew at 7:00 a.m.

Yeah. The rest of the group went and had a wonderful time. It was so fun. Uh it was it was such a nice 3 days cuz as much as I absolutely love summer and you're there,

you know, I'm on the boat every It's like boat to breakfast, boat to dinner, but activity.

Yeah. You're moving around. Let's go downtown to Bricktops. Let's go out to this restaurant. Well, with 22 people, we're not going to a restaurant.

Yeah. And it's winter, so it's not warm out. There's no boating to be done. We're not even going to ride the motorcycles that are there. So, we just sat in a house for 3 days, all of us,

playing games, watching. I'm getting jealous. Sorry, I'll back off the details.

I I made these choices, but that's awesome. We did um Die Hard first night Christmas movie.

Never seen it. A lot of people hadn't seen it, and everyone was like, "Isn't that a Christmas movie?" So, someone picked Die Hard. And then we did um Beverly Hills Cup.

Oh. And then we did Scrooged. Nice. So it was like games all day, order food, and then movie at night.

Love it. Very cozy. Pool was broke, the hot tub was broke, you know, tons. I was like in, you know.

Yeah. You were in a fixer mode. Sauna worked, so we sauna. Nice. And we ate fun food and we did a lot of fun stuff. That's awesome. It was great. And you were missed. It was such a fun time.

I I I'm sad I couldn't be there. Yeah. Um, but I'm also happy I got to do all the things.

On top of the being excluded fear, [snorts] I would imagine you're also like already Nashville's this thing. It's like I'm changing everything. I'm moving there. I'm quitting Nashville. Nashville. N now now Thanksgiving's in Nashville. Like I'm sure on top of the other anxiety about Nashville. It's like now we're now our tradition got moved to Nashville.

Yeah. Or was that not in the mix? It was. It's not the Nashville specific piece. Uh-huh.

It's the everything is changing at a pace I can't currently handle right now. Right. Right.

Um and and it's it's too overwhelming for me. But then I had to work through that.

Yeah. And I did and it's okay. And change is okay. And you gave me a huge gift which it never occurred to me you could do this. So we had a full Thanksgiving on Wednesday.

Yeah. But then when we got to Nashville, Hannah, sweet Hannah, most beautiful singer in the world. Yes,

she had made a whole other Thanksgiving. So, we had two full-blown sit down insane meal, eat all day leftovers. I'm like, this should be a double

I know. Should be a double day holiday. And then we all flew home on Southwest on Sunday, one of the busiest travel days of the year.

Yeah, very busy. And somehow it shook out where almost all 21 of us ended up in a middle seat.

Oh my. Wow. I, as you know, got sick. Yeah, you were sick. Kristen got sick. Lincoln got sick.

Oh, yeah. Those pack flights, man. Yeah. Like when you walk on, you're like, "Okay, I'm gonna feel like [ __ ] probably for 3 days."

Yeah, that'll happen. That'll happen. Anyway, okay. So, that was Thanksgiving. That was our podum.

Pod drama. Um, the second thing I wanted to say, it was ding ding ding to Colombia. Um because Calli went to Columbia as I already said and and someone she went to Colombia with was at this event I was at last night. This Allison Roman book event.

Yes. That was very Were you like the host or MC or something? No, I was not. Kate Berlant uh was the moderator, I guess we'll say. Sure.

Yeah. Master of ceremony. Yeah. Motorcycle club. And uh and it was so fun. She's hysterical.

Caperland is so funny. Yes. And and so is Allison. That was the comedy show we were going to when I saw the [ __ ] the [ __ ] um

pike. Whoa, that's a ding ding. That's wild. It is. Um anyway, so that was so fun. And then we went to a um they had rented out this little like bar restaurant thing after

and it was just really lovely. But okay, I had to check my laptop. Ooh, I wouldn't have done that. I it I I had like a real like I don't know what to do.

That's my life. It really felt like I was like giving a child. Yeah. And then during the talk I was like thinking about it and I was like what if something happens to it or someone else checked their laptop switched?

I don't let my kids touch my laptop. I don't let Kristen touch my laptop. It's like everything I've written is on there.

I know. No one's allowed to [ __ ] touch that. I was very scared, but for Allison, I did it.

Yeah. I was even in a situation where I brought my laptop. Oh, I was going to go to Zancoo.

Oh. And do a little research with my laptop. It's a weird place to set up shop. Like you're always at a nice place.

And our Zancoo is really something. It's like a bus stop. Yeah. That Why would you pick that?

Cuz I was in the mood for Zancoo. They do chicken, right? They got a They got a tarna. [ __ ] It's so good.

It's really good. Um, but I had brought my uh laptop and then I was like once I got there and I looked at the the terminal. Sure. I was like I want to eat in I'm just going to get take out and then I got out of the car and I was going to have my computer in the car [snorts]

and I was like going to be able to see my car. Like I walked halfway. I was like I keep my eye on the car the entire time. No, I don't even feel comfortable. I got to hold my laptop while I'm there. So I went back to the car, grabbed my laptop and held it like a blankie.

And then I did do my stuff in there and it was great. Oh, you did. You pivoted. Okay,

I did. I was in there for like 3 hours. Wow. Anyway, that was great. Buy Allison's book, Something from Nothing. It's really good. And I hope Max doesn't listen to this, but Callie was like, I'm buying her book for Max for Christmas.

Oh, sorry. And then I said, you know what? I had already said that on my verbal gift guide on the fact check.

So, you're a poser. Yeah. Okay. That's what I said to her. Okay. I used Cali as a resource. I know. For the Netflix thing.

No. Oh, really? Interesting. I use someone as a resource too. Okay. DVD. Okay. Do you think Colton Scriber sounds like a character name in something? I do. I don't know what genre like Old West movie or something.

Oh, to me it's like um like detective detective scribe. Could he be a detective in the Old West?

Sure. Like at the OK Corral or what are those towns? We can combine. Okay. Definitely. Okay. You said Casper wasn't successful.

The Friendly Ghost. Yeah. Oh, Casper's financial performance has varied. Oh. Oh, the films

with the mattress company. Oh, Casper mattresses. Casper the movie make Casper 1995 made over $287 million at the worldwide box office.

Okay, that's pretty good. More than any movie I've ever been in made 102.7 million domestically and 187.6 million internationally.

Pretty good. Pretty good. I They didn't make a sequel though, but that's pretty good for $95. That's also like maybe everything needed a sequel.

Yeah, perhaps. Now, how long do cats sleep? 12 to 16 hours. Okay. And if you're a male lion, 21 hours. [sighs and gasps]

How long? It's crazy that male lions are so jacked cuz they don't do anything but sleep and be ready.

18 to 20 18 to 20 hours. They have to conserve energy for activities like hunting, mating, and defending their territory. even hunt.

Well, that's how they have it made. Do you know they don't hunt? Really? No. Their m their manes are too big, so they can't hide. So, [snorts] literally the women do all the hunting and then you stroll over as the male and you eat the hell out of the thing first up.

Yeah. It says the females do all the really hard work killing the majority of prey.

Yes. The only time they're needed is when the hyenas surround the carcass and then they'll go kill a bunch of hyenas. And when you need them, you need them.

So, they do deliver. They can [ __ ] mow through hyenas. I've seen some incredible fights where like one male lion takes out nine hyenas. They're so [clears throat] strong.

They That's all they do. And then they fight other males that roam in trying to take over the pride. But then they just sleep, [ __ ] and then eat the food that they didn't catch.

Wow. Pretty good racket. How come I'm not a lion? Well, cuz you're a human. Well,

yeah, mostly. No, I mean in in the game of like what's our animal? Why am I not a lion?

You think you're like a lioness? Well, I mean I want to be and no one's picking that. No, I'm not a male lion because I think I kill.

Yeah, sure. Absolutely. So, I just wonder like why no one ever thought of me as that. I also have a very long mane,

which makes you a male lion though. That's maybe why you're not a lion. It sounds like a good racket to me.

I know. Although I don't like sleep. I wouldn't want to sleep 21 hours a day. I don't want to miss everything.

I love sleeping. I have FOMO too much. What if something fun happens on the Serengeti?

You won't care cuz you're like one of my buddies killed a bunch of hyenas. I was like, "Fuck, I want to I would love to have seen that."

Yeah, that's why you're not one. No, I'm a lioness. I'm a female lion. You're a female lion. I'm a male lion. I guess if it's either or, but I need to be out and about and hunting.

No one wants No one thinks I'm a male or a female lion. They think I'm a chinchilla with no bones.

Floating rib cage. I just That's It's like It's so offensive. Or no rib cage. I can't remember what's going on. It's so squishy.

That's cuz they're made for cuddling. You don't want to be made for cuddling. They're not. They're made for squ like ew. Speaking of, okay, so many people I have run into who listen to Armchair Anonymous. Every Armcherry brings up the rat story that has really struck a nerve understandably.

People cannot get over the rat in the water bottle. And now I So I have that uh um

tea kettle, tea kettle, electric tea kettle. I have that very one that's next to us in my house and it's been acting a little funny. Okay.

And like sometimes it's like spilling and then the white it seems strange and I got it in my head that there's a rat in the stem.

Oh Monica, the stem is like a/4 inch thick. I know, but I think the rat is able to get in there.

Maybe an octopus could be in there, but not a rat. I mean, a chinchilla could if it can disable its ribs. It still has its jawbones and stuff. It's limited.

I think there's a rat in the stem. I really do. I try. Yeah. I like try to stick this like straw in there.

You're crazy sometimes. That's madness. You can't look at that stem and convince yourself there's a rat inside. That's just Look at the stem.

Ah, it's in. There's no You can't put straw in that stem. That's what we thought. How did the rat get in that water bottle? But it got in. And then

she left some part out of that story. She had the lid off for a while. She probably had the lid off, but still that's still a small

The fact that she was drinking out of it for a while is insane. Okay, I feel like I would definitely be able to taste.

She said she remember she had like [ __ ] rat hair on her teeth. Come on. She had rats.

I hate to judge our arm cherries, but No, no, we're not judging her. That was a great story. But also, it taught me a lesson that rats can get in spaces and they're in the stem of my tea kettle.

You should be way more worried about getting a 28 in butane tank up your butt. That also happened in Armchair Anonymous. But are you worried about that?

No, cuz I have control over that and and physics has control over a rat in that stem. So,

I did leave it to physics. Yeah, I tried to stick this little like very tiny that wouldn't even fit

brush in there. And it did feel like it was hitting something. Yeah. The sides of the super narrow tube. [snorts]

Anyway, um I just So, you going to throw it away and get a new one? I think. Are you going to keep it in a ziplockc bag so you know that a rat can't get in it?

I should put a bag on top. Okay. But that's ugly so I can't. A rat can get through a bag, too.

Yeah. You'd be able to tell. Yeah. It couldn't reseal a Ziploc bag once it got inside.

If you saw that the Ziploc was unsealed, you'd know you had a rat in there. Unsealed or by

not a part. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Uh, did the Saw franchise make a billion dollars? Yes. 1.1 billion worldwide.

Worldwide. Is Ebola rare? Yeah. [clears throat] It's considered not even Yes. Not not not any numbers out of 100,000. just yeah,

it's considered a rare but severe disease. That's what he said. He was right. Um, there are no active Ebola cases in the US as of the latest information, just FYI.

So, that's good news. Currently, okay. Is Savannah considered the most haunted city in the United States? Yes. widely considered the most haunted city in America due to its long history of tragedy such as fires, epidemics, and battles which have left behind many unsettled spirits. Other cities frequently mentioned include New Orleans and Austin.

Oh, I've not had any ghost activity on my trips to Austin. Also Salem, Massachusetts, obviously

that makes sense. Um, but yeah, on all these sites, Savannah. So, do you think you got some of your fear complex by spending so much time in your childhood in Savannah? No, because I didn't know that then.

You weren't aware of the Thank God apparitions and spirits. Yeah. What if your par your grandparents had any run-ins?

Are [snorts] Indians big ghost folks or No. No. They're like reincarnation, which is great.

Yeah. It's positive. It's not. Yeah. You don't linger. You come back as a squirrel.

Well, I liked I liked this at my aunt's memorial during the um cremation. There's so much emphasis on this is

this it's just this physical body that's gone now but that's all it is. Yeah. Exactly. It's just a vessel like the the spirit is still here

thriving. Yeah. So I don't But is it here or is it elsewhere? I just don't know.

Yeah. It's too exact. Not sure where it goes. It's not a science. Yeah. Um okay real quick. I think we can do it quick. We're gonna take a test.

Oh, fun. The morbid curiosity test. This is on Colton's website. Okay. I'm gonna ask you. Okay.

Okay. If a head transplant was possible, I would want to watch the procedure. Now, we got the same situation. Strongly disagree. Disagree. Somewhat disagree. Somewhat agree. Agree. Strongly agree.

Agree. Okay. I think the supernatural is an interesting topic. Disagree. Oh. If I lived in medieval Europe, I would be interested in attending a public execution. A

Yeah, agree. I am curious. I wouldn't want to, but I would want to, right? I am curious about crime and enjoy reading detailed news accounts about murders and other violent crimes.

Sure. Agree. Yeah, that's fun. That's funny though because you don't like it when your mom calls is like, "This person's dead." I don't like it because I don't like what feels like my obligation, which is to express a b bunch of sympathy over someone I'm just learning was even alive.

That's my issue. It's like, why are you telling me this? I don't even know this person. Am I supposed to join you in

Well, she just wants to feel like she wants to talk about it cuz it's upsetting.

She just has something fun to report. She Well, I think she older women love reporting these illnesses and these deaths. Everyone's mom I know does this. Does your mom not do this?

Um it's a very mom thing. Yeah. Not really. Once you pass 65 as a mom, you're going to start keeping your ear to the street about anyone who's got any kind of disease.

But I think it's to it's like it's you heard Mary's son. I'm like, "No, I don't even know who Mary is." So now I don't know Mary's son.

My mom does that for sure. She Yeah. I think it's pretty universal. But I think it's because she's It's like It's like gossip. is sort of that same like it's spreading information in an attempt to like help.

Sure. But you know, also maybe your mom is freaked. Your mom when she hears Mary's son is dealing with something upsetting like it's upsetting to her. It might not be upsetting to you.

That is the assumption I should make and I wish I were a better person. My what I really think is she hears it and she's like, "Oh my god, I can't wait to tell everyone." No,

I think that's what really that's how my mom says it. I feel like too. Yeah. I mean, your mom's just not doing it right. I think your mom's not doing it to you.

If you ask Kristen right now, her mom does the same thing. She like half the calls are about people she's never heard of that have a sickness.

It's a bizarre activity. If I just called you like, "Hey, do you hear a guy in Bangladesh lost his arm today?" It's like

I would be like I'd be like, "Oh my god." Like I would hear that and say like, "That's horrible." And I would think that you were telling me because you thought it was horrible and you wanted to share it.

I do. My mom thinks it's horrible. Yeah, for sure. But she I think she's also so horny to spread all the information as quickly as she can.

Okay. Speaking as the only woman in this room. I think um it's more like this makes me feel unsettled and like I need to I need to share that feeling so I don't feel so alone in this unsettled. I think there's probably a great evolutionary explanation. I think it was probably women's job in whatever capacity to be monitoring the health of everyone and reporting on it and

pulling resources. And I think that was the domain. Yeah. But that's how I feel. If I hear something horrible happened, I'm like I do want to tell people, but it's not like cuz guys I have a story. It's like this horrible it's horrible things happened. It's hard for me setting and you want to share in that.

Yeah. And I want I guess I kind of am looking for like comfort and that the world isn't it or I don't know. I'm

It's interesting and and I think a guy's first thought is like I'm not telling anyone that like oh so and so's got gang green. I think like they wouldn't want anyone to know

and no one's going to enjoy hearing that. I I just have a completely different instinct, right,

which is almost like don't tell anyone. Yeah, that's weird. I mean, that to me Yeah, it's different.

It's different. It's different. But I I just think you could give some benefit of the doubt that it's not like, oh my god, I got a story to tell as opposed to like I really don't like this about life.

Okay, but let me be very specific. I'm not judgmental of that instinct because I think all the things we're supposed to do, the mechanism that motivates us to do it is a reward. I think both things are true. I think it's serving a purpose. Clearly, it did historically that these moms would be spreading this information and I think they get a dopamine hit from the sharing of it, which is how the body encourages them to continue that practice. So, it's like I'm not judgmental of it, but I do think there is a horniness. I don't know that that's fair. Okay, let's keep going.

Okay. I would be curious to see how an autopsy is performed. I have in the past been curious and I've watched one. So, I would have to say I agree. I don't ever want to see one again.

Agree or strongly? Disagree. I would be interested in attending or watching a video of an exorcism.

Disagree. If I lived in ancient Rome, I would be interested in attending a gladiatorial fight.

Strongly agree. I would be interested in watching a documentary on motives behind real murders. Agree.

I'm interested in seeing how limb amputation works. What's the middle one on that one?

There's somewhat disagree. Disagree. Strongly agree. Some would agree. Agree. Strongly

somewhat agree. Okay. I find the occult interesting. Uh, agree. If I saw a street fight break out and knew I could not intervene, I would try to watch it.

Yeah. Strongly. Agree. My favorite part of a crime show is learning about why the killer did what he did.

Yeah. Agree. I would like to see how bodies are prepared for funerals. Agree. A documentary on voodoo would interest me.

Disagree. I would be curious enough to watch a duel if I lived in the Wild West.

Yeah, strongly agree. I would be interested in watching an interview with an imprisoned serial killer talking about his crimes.

Agree. I think the preservation of bodies like in taxiderermy or mummification is interesting.

Agree. I am curious how a Ouija board works. Uh, strongly disagree. I prefer violent movies and TV shows to be uncensored.

Agree. Being a criminal profiler who studies the personality of murderers would be an interesting job.

Um, the middle one somewhat. Yeah, somewhat dis somewhat agree. Okay. I am curious what the deadliest toxin in the world would do to the body.

Agree. I think witchcraft would be an interesting topic to learn about. Disagree.

I am curious what a bottle looked like. I already know. I'm curious what a battle looked like in the Middle Ages.

Oh, strongly agree. I'm curious about the minds of violent people. Agree. Okay. Here are your scores. One is the minimum score and six is the maximum score.

4.7. Well, it's multiple things. So, your overall morbid curiosity score is 4.42.

Okay. Okay. Your paranormal score 2.33. Yeah. Your minds of dangerous people score 4.83. Your body violation bodily injury score 4.83. Your violence score 5.67.

Wish I would have got six. Uh, then I think you cheated. I didn't cheat. I'm just kidding. I know. I know you like violence.

Yeah. All right. Well, that's cool. So, you're Let me ask you something, though. When you say you like violence, are you turning your nose up to it compared to serial killer interest?

No. Do you think some are worse than others? Well, I think um I don't think worse or better.

Okay. I think they're different though, obviously. They're modeling out different

Yeah, they're modeling out different things. Fears. Yeah. So, I have a huge fear of being in a physical violent situation with another man. So, I'm always going to be interested in

But you're also you're you have a fear of it, but you're also like you're kind of attracted to it.

Yeah. Yeah. Like most things, I'm afraid of the motorcycle. Mhm. M uh speed. But you started fights.

I mean, first of all, yes. Like in junior high, just straight up started some fights.

As an adult, I don't I would say I haven't started fights. I just have such a clear category. I've seen guys walk into the bar and they want to fight.

They're there to fight, right? I've not ever walked into the bar cuz I want to fight. I walk into the bar, I see some behavior I don't like. Right.

The sheriff in me tells me, "Oh, I've got to protect everyone from this energy everyone hates,

and then I end up in a fight with that person." Yeah. And I think some people could read that as starting a fight as opposed to leaving.

Sure. But I would I wouldn't abandon the people that I thought were being put out by this energy. This happened perfectly on New Year's Eve one year. Everyone was in town for a car show and we went out to Dell's, this bar that Scotty and I went and sang karaoke at all the time.

Mhm. It's like 1:00 a.m. on New Year's Eve. These guys walk in. They were at They weren't at the bar all night. They just came in. They shoved two different guys just randomly immediately on their way to the bar.

Then one bumped into me aggressively and I turned around and said something. And then Scotty noticed that was going on and saw he had a friend so he kind of got by the friend and then the friend just immediately swang at Scotty. So like those dudes just they rolled in. They were like gangbanger dudes. They rolled in to beat someone up.

Yeah. And um in that situation, in that bar, I think, oh, Scotty and I are best suited to deal with these two people of all the people that are at this bar.

The other two guys that got shoved just got like shoved to the ground. Couldn't do anything about it.

But what about just like the bouncer? There's no bouncer at at Dell's. It's just a people. I mean, sure, by the time the police got called, two people would have been punched in the nose and they would have been gone. And

yeah, so I've seen enough of those situations living in bars for a decade that yeah, in those situations I'm like, "Okay, well, I'll be the guy."

These two are fighting somebody in this bar. I guess it's also the type of bar maybe.

Sure. It's not like a fancy but not even fancy. Like I'm thinking of like the college bars, like they're rough and tumble.

Uhhuh. And no one in my group was like fighting or looking for fights or being a like vigilant about the fights.

There might have been more fights where I came from. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Like definitely the bar we drank at in Detroit, there was a few fights a week.

Mhm. Every Saturday night there was a fight at the bar. Yeah. I guess that's all in part of it, right? Like your bars are ones where there are fights. Those are the ones you're picking.

For sure. We're all we're all victims of our childhood. So, it's like it's all Yeah. The bars I drank at probably the vast majority of people at them, their parents were divorced. They grew up like I did. That's why for whatever reason that bar appealed to them,

right? That's the kind of bar they got taken to as a kid. Mhm. Like it all makes sense. It's just like, yeah, we are all similar and we find each other. And then the people who went to country clubs, they're at a country club drinking and most people don't fight at the country club.

I doubt it. Well, they have different kinds of fights, I guess. Sure. And I'd rather just throw down than the

Yeah. other version. Yeah. Well, 4 something. I already forgot. 516 violence. Yeah.

All right. All right. Love you. Love you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner"?

Dax Shepard (Host), Monica Padman (Host), Coltan Scrivner (Guest).

What is "Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner" about?

The content discusses the universities that produce the most billionaires globally, highlighting both expected and surprising institutions. It also features a light-hearted conversation about songs associated with names, emphasizing a mix of entertainment and factual information around wealth generation and higher education.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

87 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including billionaire, Cali, Columbia University, Ryan Seacrest, University of Georgia (UGA), Calendly. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Billionaire University, Coltan Scrivner, Pod Drama | Fact Check for Coltan Scrivner"?

The episode runs 1 h 2 min; the transcript is about 11,858 words in 393 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 15, 2025.