Billy Crudup | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Who speaks in this episode?

• Billy Crudup (Guest)
• Dak Shepard (Host)
• Monica Padman (Host)
• Kristen Bell (Host)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 15:00: Dr. Manhattan, Manhattan, Billy Crudup, Amazon
2. 15:00 – 30:00: Coffee Elite, North Carolina, Dallas, Texas
3. 30:00 – 45:00: Amazon, North Carolina, Dak Shepard, Alexa Plus
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00: Jay Kelly, Netflix, Inc., Kristen Bell, North Carolina
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00: Brad Pitt, Jason Patrick, Without Limits, Prefontaine
6. 1:15:00 – 1:30:00: Jay Kelly, Mastercard, Hermès Birkin bag, Mastercard
7. 1:30:00 – 1:45:00: Jay Kelly, Adam Scott, Adam Sandler, George Clooney
8. 1:45:00 – 2:00:00: Jay Kelly, George Clooney
9. 2:00:00 – 2:15:00: Amazon
10. 2:15:00 – 2:30:00: Pumpkin spice, Charllemagne, Charles the Great (Charlemagne), Genghis Khan
11. 2:30:00 – 2:37:10: Alexander Technique, Billy Crudup, Mona Styles, Tom Stoppard

Notable quotes from "Billy Crudup | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"

• I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

  about Dak Shepard · at 0:16

• Incredible. Please enjoy. Billy Crudup, armchair expert is proud to have Alexa Plus as our presenting sponsor.

  about Billy Crudup · at 1:04

• Still Kristen's never made noises like I heard some 20 years ago. You sure they weren't you sure they weren't complaints? No. I Oh my god. I was I should bring them water.

  about Kristen Bell · at 7:14

• I'll ask my mom. but when my grandmother died, my grandfather was a widowerower and I was going to school now 45 minutes away from him at UNC Chap Hill. Great school. I love Great school. Great campus.

  about UNC · at 10:13

• No. I mean Dustin Hoffman he played our lawyer so he would talk to us and he was extremely entertaining often trying to steal our lines I might add.

  about Dustin Hoffman · at 1:01:57

• Yes. So, everyone check that out. That's still airing on Apple Plus right now. I don't think we've reached the end of the season.

  about Apple TV · at 1:27:41

• Yes. And Noah has done that for a long period of time. And this was it was a beautiful script about a movie star George Clooney. George Clooney perfectly cast.

  about Noah Baumbach · at 1:29:11

• Out of state students make up no more than 18% of the first year undergraduate class at UNC Chapel Hill due to its UNCC system policy. M and then I thought this is interesting.

  about University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill · at 2:26:19

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Billy Crudup — Person · Main guest · 3 mentions · first at 0:27
  Primary interview subject; the episode is an in-depth conversation about his life, career, family background and recent projects.
• Dak Shepard — Person · Host · 2 mentions · first at 0:16
  Host of the Armchair Expert episode; leads the conversation, asks personal questions and shares anecdotes.
• Monica Padman — Person · Co-host / Co-interviewer · 1 mention · first at 0:16
  Co-host who engages with Billy, asks questions and contributes to discussion and fact-checking.
  I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.
• Jay Kelly — Person · Referenced character / film title (ambiguous) · 6 mentions · first at 49:34
  Referenced as the title/character of Billy Crudup's new movie (referred to repeatedly as 'Jay Kelly'); central to promotions of Billy's recent work.
  New season is currently out now on Apple Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.
• George Clooney — Person · Referenced actor / co-star (in 'Jay Kelly') · 4 mentions · first at 0:56
  Mentioned as a co-star in Billy's new film (referred to as 'Jay Kelly' in transcript) and discussed as part of a film storyline.
  New season is currently out now on Apple Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.
• Adam Sandler — Person · Referenced actor / co-star (in 'Jay Kelly') · 2 mentions · first at 0:58
  Mentioned as another well-known co-star in the same upcoming film; part of cast discussion.
  It sure does. And Adam Sandler. It's a big movie.
• Noah Baumbach — Person · Referenced director · 1 mention · first at 1:29:11
  Mentioned as the director of the film discussed (Billy's new movie directed by Noah Baumbach); discussed positively for his body of work.
• Kristen Bell — Person · Referenced person (host’s spouse; acting-school anecdote) · 2 mentions · first at 7:14
  Mentioned in personal context (Dax’s wife) and in discussion of acting training (NYU Tisch/Alexander Technique).
• Dustin Hoffman — Person · Referenced co-star · 2 mentions · first at 1:00:27
  Mentioned as part of the Sleepers cast and described warmly (anecdote about meeting him on set).
• Reese Witherspoon — Person · Referenced collaborator (The Morning Show cast) · 1 mention · first at 1:27:19
  Mentioned as part of the Morning Show ecosystem; used to situate Crudup within a high-profile ensemble and prior Armchair Expert guests.
  Also, we've had Reese and Jennifer.
• Brad Pitt — Person · Referenced co-star · 3 mentions · first at 1:00:23
  Mentioned as part of the Sleepers cast; referenced in the discussion of that early film.
  To remind everyone who's in Sleepers, because you might have forgotten, it's Brad Pitt, it's Kevin Bacon, it's Robert Dairo, Dustin Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman, Jason Patrick, Mini Driver, what.
• Jason Patrick — Person · Referenced co-star · 3 mentions · first at 1:00:29
  Mentioned as co-star in Sleepers and as an acting peer of Billy's on that project.
  It was Jason Patrick, Brad Pitt, Ron Lard, and myself who were supposed to be four buddies and we got to send to Juvie and not treated well.
• Dee Corvenous — Person · Referenced teacher (theater) · 1 mention · first at 53:11
  Named alongside Susanna Reinhardt as influential acting instructors at UNC; part of Billy's formative theater training.
  Performing but and I also did work in the theater department there where there were two teachers there Susanna Reinhardt and Dee Corvenous who I took introduction to acting…
• Susanna Reinhardt — Person · Referenced teacher (theater) · 1 mention · first at 53:11
  Named as one of the teachers who taught Billy acting at UNC and encouraged him to take theater classes; part of his training background.
  Performing but and I also did work in the theater department there where there were two teachers there Susanna Reinhardt and Dee Corvenous who I took introduction to acting…
• Dr. Manhattan — Person · 6 mentions · first at 7:49
  Manhasset. Well, when you pronounce it, I now realize it sounds like a bunk version of Manhattan. oh, you guys did Manhattan. We're going to do Manhattan.
• Charles the Great (Charlemagne) — Person · 6 mentions · first at 11:58
  The way that I processed it when he showed me the family tree at the end, which dated back to Charlemagne in 700 something, whatever, France, which means essentially I come…
• Tom Stoppard — Person · 2 mentions · first at 56:10
  Language and how to lift it and perform it and celebrate it was directing me in this Tom Stopppper play and Tom Stoppard's there.
• Adam Scott — Person · 2 mentions · first at 1:38:48
  And I got so obsessed with him and I This is not my observation. This is Adam Scott's observation. And so and he too is a huge Tom Cruz fan. And I was like I go after doing this summer thing where we watch all of his movies. you.
• Mandy & Ralph Ellison — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:30
  Cuz it was him doing you. He It was him doing Cor my character on The Morning Show, Cory Ellison. Okay.
• James Joyce — Person · 1 mention · first at 52:48
  My dad thinks I'm doing marketing, but meanwhile, I'm figuring out how to play do like a James Joyce short story as a performance. I'm having a ball. You're doing monologues…
• Susanna Reinhardt — Person · 1 mention · first at 53:11
  In the theater department there where there were two teachers there Susanna Reinhardt and Dee Corvenous who I took introduction to acting with them and they were like you can…
• Gertrude Stein — Person · 1 mention · first at 54:05
  Wrote that was an imagined discussion between I hope I'm getting it right, but I think it was Gertrude Stein and Pablo Picasso and she was like Meil Stre and she was in my class and I'd just never seen anything like.
• Pablo Picasso — Person · 1 mention · first at 54:05
  Wrote that was an imagined discussion between I hope I'm getting it right, but I think it was Gertrude Stein and Pablo Picasso and she was like Meil Stre and she was in my class and I'd just never seen anything like.
• Patrick Stewart — Person · 1 mention · first at 55:51
  Shakespeare Company talking about monologues and it was like Ian Mckllen and Patrick Stewart, Anthony Hopkins, Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren, like just bad asses. And so all of a…
• Bob Hoskins — Person · 1 mention · first at 55:53
  Monologues and it was like Ian Mckllen and Patrick Stewart, Anthony Hopkins, Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren, like just bad asses. And so all of a sudden, this guy that I was…
• Victor Garber — Person · 1 mention · first at 57:36
  We had a cast. Robert Shawn Leonard, Victor Garber, Paul Giamatti, Jenny Dundas. There's just like fantastic actors up and down the line.
• Jenny Dundas — Person · 1 mention · first at 57:39
  We had a cast. Robert Shawn Leonard, Victor Garber, Paul Giamatti, Jenny Dundas. There's just like fantastic actors up and down the line.
• Kevin Bacon — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:00:23
  To remind everyone who's in Sleepers, because you might have forgotten, it's Brad Pitt, it's Kevin Bacon, it's Robert Dairo, Dustin Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman, Jason Patrick, Mini Driver, what.
• Steve Prefontaine — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:03:00
  My dad started to go berserk when I did without limits and it was about an athlete prefontain Steve Prefontaine. My dad started to get on board because Without Limits was the…
• Patrick Wilson — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:06:04
  Do a stage adaptation of High Noon and so I've been watching westerns and Patrick Wilson turned me on to a whole bunch and I didn't really know the western genre so well. My…
• Henry Fonda — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:06:10
  Western genre so well. My Darling Clementine, if you like the Wyatt Herb story, Henry Fonda plays it. It's awesome.
• Sam Jones — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:07:50
  People my age, Almost Famous. This is a big I watched a little clip of you and Sam Jones today, which was kind of funny.
• Sam Jones (photographer) — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:08:06
  He's a phenomenal photographer, but I was This can't be a nice story.
• J.J. Abrams — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:40:54
  There. So, like it really u like a team player. There were two moments that I'm thinking of now. one was because J.J.
• Mona Styles — Person · 1 mention · first at 2:35:06
  And I think it might be Mona Styles because she taught the Alexander technique for decades before her passing in 2020 at the graduate acting program at NYU. I do think he said he. So, you.
• Arthur Miller — Person · 1 mention
• Barry Levinson — Person · 1 mention
• Charlotte Stoudt — Person · 1 mention
• Dee Covaness — Person · 1 mention
• Genghis Khan — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• Without Limits — Book · 4 mentions · first at 1:02:58
  My dad started to go berserk when I did without limits and it was about an athlete prefontain Steve Prefontaine. My dad started to get on board because Without Limits was the first time I was starring in something. He actually had.
• Almost Famous — Book · 3 mentions · first at 0:38
  He's very Yeah, he's very special. almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show.
• The Morning Show — Book · 3 mentions · first at 0:40
  He's very Yeah, he's very special. almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show.
• Prefontaine — Book · 3 mentions · first at 1:03:00
  My dad started to go berserk when I did without limits and it was about an athlete prefontain Steve Prefontaine. My dad started to get on board because Without Limits was the…
• Sleepers — Book · 2 mentions · first at 0:40
  He's very Yeah, he's very special. almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show.
• J Kelly — Book · 2 mentions · first at 0:52
  Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.
• High Noon — Book · 2 mentions · first at 1:05:58
  Totally exactly the same. Speaking of which, I'm about to go to London to do a stage adaptation of High Noon and so I've been watching westerns and Patrick Wilson turned me on…
• Hello Tomorrow! — Book · 2 mentions · first at 1:13:58
  I did this show called Hello Tomorrow and I was interested in which I love by the way.
• Big Fish — Book · 1 mention · first at 0:38
  He's very Yeah, he's very special. almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show.
• Finding Your Roots — Book · 1 mention · first at 11:42
  There was on C there certainly was for a while. Actually, I did Finding Your Roots.
• Arcadia — Book · 1 mention · first at 54:32
  School that I landed a part in a Tom Stopppard play, Arcadia.
• Avalon — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:00:40
  Oh, the Baltimore Trilogy. just like Avalon.
• Tombstone — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:05:50
  Without limits. But Okay. Okay. This is like Wyatt Urban Tombstone or Yeah. Oh yeah.
• My Darling Clementine — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:06:07
  Patrick Wilson turned me on to a whole bunch and I didn't really know the western genre so well. My Darling Clementine, if you like the Wyatt Herb story, Henry Fonda plays it. It's awesome.
• Watchmen — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:10:44
  Sometimes they would say, Oh, you don't want to be a star. I was Did you see Watchmen? You think I was not trying with Dr. Manhattan? that wasn't I wasn't deuring. Almost Famous wasn't meant to be a niche drama. the it's just that like it's.
• Alien: Covenant — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:11:19
  The opportunities, I had to audition. I had to put myself on tape with dummy sides for Alien Covenant.
• Death of a Salesman — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:14:06
  The it's it's a sort of death of a salesman sort of story.
• Jetsons — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:14:16
  Selling plots on the moon. Exactly. He's he's a traveling salesman in a retro future like the Jetsons or something like that. Retro American future. And so he's selling time shares on the moon.
• Kicking and Screaming — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:28:17
  Squid and the Whales. The first thing I saw amazing kicking and screaming back in the day. Yeah.
• White Noise — Book · 1 mention · first at 1:35:37
  The way that he described it he was feeling somewhat disenchanted with movie making after he made a film called White Noise and it just it wasn't received in the way that he…
• Mission: Impossible III — Book · 1 mention
• Off Camera with Sam Jones — Book · 1 mention
• Rain Man — Book · 1 mention
• Squid and the Whale — Book · 1 mention
• Taps — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Netflix, Inc. — Company · Distributor / platform · 3 mentions · first at 0:49
  Mentioned in release windows for Billy's film (in theaters Nov, on Netflix Dec 5).
  New season is currently out now on Apple Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.
• Apple TV — Company · Platform / distributor · 2 mentions · first at 0:43
  Referenced as the streaming platform for The Morning Show (Billy Crudup appears in the series).
• HBO — Company · Referenced company · 2 mentions
  Mentioned in passing (one mention); no deeper discussion.
• Apple Inc. — Company · Parent of Apple TV+ (platform reference) · 1 mention · first at 0:43
  Mentioned implicitly via 'Apple TV+' references for The Morning Show distribution.
  He's very Yeah, he's very special. almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show.
• Apple Plus TV — Company · Media platform · 1 mention · first at 0:43
  Platform where The Morning Show is aired
  New season is currently out now on Apple Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.
• Harriet Henderson — Company · Referenced company · 1 mention · first at 8:53
  Mentioned in the context of Billy Crudup's family history
  At Raleigh Durham. And my grandfather was vice president of marketing for Harriet Henderson. And so my dad wanted to I guess go out on his own. So he went with a competing firm. Oh.
• Coffee Elite — Company · 2 mentions · first at 24:47
  Where the new business opportunities were. He was o opening a company. I think this one was Coffee Elite, which they sold it was a coffee additive that they would sell to like prisons to turn one pound of coffee into 10 lbs of coffee.
• Mastercard — Company · 2 mentions · first at 1:23:18
  I was just texting last night with one of the producers of the Mastercard campaign. Greg Lotus is his name.
• Chateau Marmont — Company · 1 mention · first at 2:36
  At a little boutique hotel called the Chateau Marmont.
• Burlington — Company · 1 mention · first at 9:02
  Any relation to the Burlington Coat Factory?
• Burlington Coat Factory — Company · 1 mention · first at 9:03
  Any relation to the Burlington Coat Factory?
• Top of the Hill — Company · 1 mention · first at 11:16
  It was not Top of the Hill. some it was the Rat Skellar. which is sort of underground and was a restaurant when he was at Chapel Hill in the ' 40s and was a restaurant when my dad was.
• Madhatter — Company · 1 mention · first at 35:16
  At MGM cuz he had been he had been tending bar on the Upper East Side Madhatter. It's the name of the place. I waited tables there in the summer and a woman who was a regular there said, You're not working here anymore. you're.
• University of Georgia — Company · 1 mention · first at 49:57
• Lincoln Center — Company · 1 mention · first at 54:35
  Arcadia. Yep. And that was at Lincoln Center.
• Royal Shakespeare Company — Company · 1 mention · first at 55:40
  And I used to watch these tapes called Acting Shakespeare, I think it was. They were like VHS tapes that had the Royal Shakespeare Company and Trevor Num was the youngest at…
• UNC Chapel Hill — Company · 1 mention · first at 2:26:23
  Out of state students make up no more than 18% of the first year undergraduate class at UNC Chapel Hill due to its UNCC system policy. M and then I thought this is interesting.
• University of Michigan — Company · 1 mention · first at 2:28:40
  Then we got University of Michigan.
• Champion Athleticwear — Company · 1 mention
• Church & Dwight — Company · 1 mention
• Lucifer's Pizza — Company · 1 mention
• Penn — Company · 1 mention
• PlayMakers Repertory Company — Company · 1 mention
• St. Thomas Aquinas High School — Company · 1 mention
• Texas Tech University — Company · 1 mention
• The Rathskeller — Company · 1 mention
• Tisch School of the Arts — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Pumpkin spice — Product · 7 mentions · first at 1:48
  Fantastic. I got you guys a pumpkin spice latte if you want one. No, I don't know what that is.
• Pumpkin spice latte — Product · 3 mentions · first at 1:48
  Fantastic. I got you guys a pumpkin spice latte if you want one. No, I don't know what that is.
• Hermès Birkin bag — Product · 2 mentions · first at 1:20:01
• Fire TV — Product · 1 mention · first at 31:09
  Not barking commands. You're just talking. And it works across your compatible devices, Echo, Fire TV, and more. It's your all-new smart proactive AI assistant. And honestly…
• Echo — Product · 1 mention
• Nair — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• Genghis Khan — Concept · Historical ancestor concept · 4 mentions · first at 12:31
  Referenced in genealogical discussion comparing widespread descent from historical figures (Charlemagne and Genghis Khan).
  You're most people are a descendant of Charlemagne like Genghask Khan.
• Charllemagne — Concept · 6 mentions · first at 11:58
  The way that I processed it when he showed me the family tree at the end, which dated back to Charlemagne in 700 something, whatever, France, which means essentially I come…
• Alexander Technique — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 47:29
  And she did Alexander technique where you're like breathing into people's mouths and the young men are wearing sweatpants.
• Bulldogs — Concept · 1 mention
• Priceless campaign — Concept · 1 mention
• Tar Heels — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• UNC — Place · Education / setting · 2 mentions · first at 10:28
  Billy discusses attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and family ties to the school—important to his background story.
• University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill — Place · Education / alma mater · 1 mention · first at 2:26:23
  Full institution name tied to Billy's college attendance and family tradition; discussed in relation to legacy admissions and school culture.
• North Carolina — Place · Setting · 6 mentions · first at 8:39
  Mentioned in the context of Billy Crudup's family history
  Fabric or from North Carolina. My dad was from North Carolina. The town that he grew up was called Henderson, North Carolina.
• Manhasset — Place · Setting · 5 mentions · first at 7:38
  Mentioned in the context of Billy Crudup's personal history
  Manhasset. Well, when you pronounce it, I now realize it sounds like a bunk version of Manhattan. oh, you guys did Manhattan. We're going to do Manhattan.
• UNC Chapel Hill — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 10:24
  Mentioned in the context of Billy Crudup's education
  Widowerower and I was going to school now 45 minutes away from him at UNC Chap Hill. Great school. I love Great school. Great campus.
• Chateau Marmont — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 2:34
  Mentioned as the place where Billy Crudup is staying
  I would have guessed. I would have guessed. All of you boys do chateau.
• Playmakers — Place · Theater (regional) · 1 mention · first at 53:37
  Referenced as Playmakers Repertory Theater at UNC—context for the local theater environment Billy experienced.
  Wasn't, Playmakers as a great repatory theater and they produce really good work, but I didn't, it wasn't the same kind of thing as seeing these hyper ambitious, focused, like obviously professionally talented people. Yes.
• Manhattan — Place · 6 mentions · first at 7:49
  Manhasset. Well, when you pronounce it, I now realize it sounds like a bunk version of Manhattan. oh, you guys did Manhattan. We're going to do Manhattan.
• Dallas, Texas — Place · 2 mentions · first at 24:10
  So he had a he was divorced for the second time now and had a singles apartment in Dallas, Texas.
• Hollywood Boulevard — Place · 1 mention · first at 3:59
  In the pictures you're always like sitting by the star, but you're sitting in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard.
• Trump Star — Place · 1 mention · first at 4:10
  They did a number on Trump Star. Have you seen that?
• Henderson, North Carolina — Place · 1 mention · first at 8:42
  From North Carolina. My dad was from North Carolina. The town that he grew up was called Henderson, North Carolina.
• Raleigh-Durham — Place · 1 mention · first at 8:47
  Okay. It's about 30 40 minutes north of Durham at Raleigh Durham. And my grandfather was vice president of marketing for Harriet Henderson. And so my dad wanted to I guess go out on his own. So he went with a competing.
• Upper East Side — Place · 1 mention · first at 35:14
  He was working as a publicist at MGM cuz he had been he had been tending bar on the Upper East Side Madhatter. It's the name of the place. I waited tables there in the summer and a woman who was a regular there said,.
• Venice — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:36:19
  Being a part of this crew. There is so much. Oh, you guys want me to show up in Venice short? I'll buy my own ticket, like whatever.
• Central and South America — Place · 1 mention
• Chapel Hill, North Carolina — Place · 1 mention
• Durham, North Carolina — Place · 1 mention
• Hollywood Walk of Fame — Place · 1 mention
• Manhasset, New York — Place · 1 mention
• Papua New Guinea — Place · 1 mention

Media & podcasts

• Without Limits — Media · Referenced media · 4 mentions · first at 1:02:55
  Movie mentioned as part of Billy Crudup's acting career
  Athlete prefontain Steve Prefontaine. My dad started to get on board because Without Limits was the first time I was starring in something. He actually had this hilarious habit…
• Finding Your Roots — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 11:42
  TV show mentioned in the context of Billy Crudup's family history
  With which was GI with Skip, which inc. Have you done that?
• Rain Man — Media · Referenced media · 1 mention · first at 1:39:00
  Movie mentioned in the context of discussing Tom Cruise's acting
  I'll tell you this, I don't forget. He was incredible. Yeah. In that movie, that is a phenomenal performance.
• Dax’s Avatar — Character · Joke/reference · 2 mentions
  Mentioned once as a playful or joking reference during the episode.

Sponsors

• Alexa Plus — Sponsor · Episode sponsor / presenting sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 1:09
  Read as the presenting sponsor; an ad segment describing the product and a CTA to amazon.com/new Alexa.
  Incredible. Please enjoy. Billy Crudup, armchair expert is proud to have Alexa Plus as our presenting sponsor.
• Amazon — Company · Sponsor owner / product owner · 6 mentions · first at 1:09
  Owner of Alexa Plus (sponsor); referenced in sponsor ad read and CTA to Amazon site.
  Incredible. Please enjoy. Billy Crudup, armchair expert is proud to have Alexa Plus as our presenting sponsor.
• Mastercard — Product · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 1:23:18
  Sponsor of the podcast episode
  Incredible. Please enjoy. Billy Crudup, armchair expert is proud to have Alexa Plus as our presenting sponsor.
• Sponsor: Alexa Plus — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsor: Mastercard — Sponsor · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Welcome. Vocal exercises. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Oh no, it's a mess. Armchair expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

0:19 Hi. Hi. I was giggling because I tried to do it quietly. They're going to hear it. I'm gonna leave.

0:23 Oh, you're gonna leave that in. Okay. Uh, today's episode is someone I idolize as an actor. His name is Billy Crudup. He is a Tony and Emmy awardwinning actor. He's very sparkly and magicy. He's very Yeah, he's very special. Uh almost famous Watchman, Big Fish, Sleepers, of course, The Morning Show. New season is currently out now on Apple Plus TV and he is in a new movie in theaters November 4th. Now in theaters now and on Netflix on December 5th. J Kelly and it's got the Cloon Doctor in it.

0:58 It sure does. And Adam Sandler. It's a big movie. It's a big old movie. No bomb back. Yes.

1:04 Ah, incredible. Please enjoy. Billy Crudup, armchair expert is proud to have Alexa Plus as our presenting sponsor. The allnew Alexa Plus is your smart, proactive AI assistant. Just chat naturally about anything and watch your to-do list disappear. It learns your style and anticipates what's next across Echo, FireTV, and more. Learn more at amazon.com/new Alexa. He's an object. He's an expert.

1:48 Fantastic. I got you guys a pumpkin spice latte if you want one. No, I don't know what that is.

1:54 You did. How charming. Are they? I've never had one. The smell really puts me off. Got to just be perfume, right? No real That's not a real taste. Distilled pumpkin.

2:06 Pumpkin spice. There's pumpkin spice. That's real. All spice is real. These are real spices, you guys.

2:14 And but but pumpkin spice, how do you make pumpkin spice? Is it from the peel? Like you try out the peel, the seeds. Grind up the seeds with mixed with a little paprika.

2:24 No, I don't think it's I don't think that's how it works. Good thing we do a fact check.

2:30 Oh, there you go. That's a good place to start. Mhm. Billy, where are you staying?

2:34 At a little uh boutique hotel called the Chateau Marmont. I would have guessed. I would have guessed. All of you boys uh do chateau.

2:43 Well, we had this one Naomi set up because uh she is she also in town? She is in town. She's got a premiere for a show she did. And a couple of days ago, she got a star on the Walk of Fame.

2:54 So, we have a ceremony for that. You were Were you in attendance? I certainly was. Most certainly was.

3:00 I didn't go to my wife. I know. That was That's embarrassing. Yeah. You were working out, I guess.

3:05 I was busy lifting. I was in the middle of a set. Well, dude, then that's a total bro excuse.

3:10 I mean, what do I mean? I could lift that stone. I could say goodbye to these gains,

3:16 but they're temporary and that star is permanent. I'll get to it. I went to hers.

3:22 You were there? That's generous. And then there were protesters there. The the antiax community hates us. So they were they were in full force

3:30 screaming at her. What a day to remember. I'm sad I missed it. Holy cow. Okay, that is that different sort of spin.

3:38 Yeah. Not what I think a young actor envisions when they think of getting a star on the Hollywood.

3:44 My star. Could you guys just for a second quiet down? Just give me one second. You can bake me afterwards.

3:50 Total agreement, but I just need a second with my star. It also is funny because like you know in the pictures you're always like sitting by the star, but you're sitting in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard. Correct. And it's disgusting.

4:02 That is not um that's not for the faint of heart. No. But neither is this business.

4:07 No. Oh, you're right. And the cess pool of this business. They did a number on Trump Star. Have you seen that?

4:12 I have not. Oh, people have gone. Have you seen it? They gone to town on it. Oh, I It's got to be hundreds of people. There's no way one person could be responsible for the amount of damage that it looks like there's been acid involved and pickaxes and I mean, it is

4:26 it's a mess. I guess I'm not terribly surprised, but I think I just saw an article that the city was finally like, "We're going to have to remove it. It's a big hole in the ground now."

4:34 Oh, boy. Now. Well, we're doing voices. I just heard my I just heard my voice there, which doesn't always happen.

4:44 Do people imitate you? Do you have people Do you have people who do impressions of you?

4:48 Negative. Actually, there is one young comedian who does impressions, very good impressions. I ran

4:55 a friend. What's his name? Tall. Matt. Insanely tall. We just had him on. We just had him on.

5:00 He He came up to me. He he I I think he lives in Soho or around uh Naomi and I are downtown in New York. And

5:07 he came up to him and said, "Hey, hey, I nice to meet you." I'm like, "Hey, nice to meet you, too." And he said, "I do impressions." Uh and it turns out

5:16 he did one before and I think it was Kimmel or somebody else had forwarded it to me and I gave him a critique back on it.

5:23 Okay. Cuz it was him doing you. He It was him doing uh Cor my uh uh character on The Morning Show, Cory Ellison. Okay. Specifically.

5:32 So, him doing Corey. Yeah, correct. Played by you. Exactly. Because there is no Billy here.

5:39 I transform. No, we're here for Billy and Billy only. Yeah, Billy's boring. Boring Billy.

5:45 Oh, boring Billy. You a disco. Disco as a kid. That's correct. And boring Billy, I guess.

5:51 And boring Billy as an adult. Actually, that's a good way to be an adult, I think.

5:55 All right. So, now I I As you arrived here today, did you have any fear that I would tell this story that I always tell about you?

6:03 Um, you must. I did not. It didn't even cross your mind. Why would you do that? It's so inappropriate. He would never do that.

6:10 But he's going to I'm not going to cuz I don't I know you don't want me to. 500 million streams mean

6:16 it means a lotion people are going to listen to this story. That's the amount of tributaries that feed the Amazon. That's it. 500 million strength

6:25 because this is a green space. I see. Okay, good. Um, we're off grid. I one time had the rare honor of hearing Billy make love.

6:35 Whoa. And I'm just here to I want to keep it I want to keep it as clean and not offensive to Billy as possible, but I've never ever ever heard someone receive that much pleasure in my life. I felt very inept and insecure

6:49 and I have thought about it. I'm already impressed about there were other people in the house that was not

6:55 coming from my vicinity. The calls of pleasure. I just was like when's this going to end? But anyways, when I saw uh Billy, I just had to tell him, you know, I think about that often. And that was 20 years ago.

7:08 Yep. It was about 20 years ago. 20 years ago. That's why he's been in the gym ever since. He's trying to He's trying to compete.

7:14 Still Still Kristen's never made noises like I heard some 20 years ago. You sure they weren't you sure they weren't complaints? No. I Oh my god. I was like, I should bring them water.

7:29 I worry about everyone. Hydration. Exciting for that person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. Let's talk about Manetta, New York. Is that what is it called? Very close. Manasset.

7:45 Manhasset. Manhasset. Well, when you pronounce it, I now realize it sounds like a bunk version of Manhattan. Like, oh, you guys did Manhattan. We're going to do Manhattan.

7:54 My suspicion is they're all drawn from Native American tribes in the area. Maybe this is my thought. It hadn't occurred to me before, but there are quite a few um

8:07 places in this country where the names uh originated before we got here. And I suspect Manhattan Manhasset may be in that.

8:16 Where is it? Manhasset. That is on the north shore of Long Island. Exit 36 I think or so. Uh about 30 minutes outside of the city. My dad was selling

8:30 textiles. Okay. In the late 60s, early '7s in Manhattan. So he would take the train.

8:36 And when you say textiles, big bolts of fabric or from North Carolina. My dad was from North Carolina. The town that he grew up was called Henderson, North Carolina. Okay. It's about 30 40 minutes north of Durham

8:47 at Raleigh Durham. And um my grandfather was vice president of marketing for Harriet Henderson. And so my dad wanted to I guess um go out on his own. So he went with a competing firm. Oh.

9:02 Uh Burlington. Any relation to the Burlington Coat Factory? I believe there is a relation. You'll have to look. I don't know the precise one, but there was, you know, quite a bit of yarn coming out of uh North Carolina. And so, yeah, my dad would sell the the the cotton to the uh garment district in in Manhattan.

9:22 Now, did grandpa was he charmed by that? Did he say, "Oh, my son has pluck." There was almost nothing my grandfather was charmed by.

9:29 Okay. Uh my grandfather, he was he was a fascinating guy. Uh he was extremely canankerous.

9:39 Okay. And um cops, we called him pops. Uhhuh. And he was angry. He from the time I met him.

9:48 I don't My my grandmother D, who died the day I graduated high school, was an absolute angel. She was the greatest. Priscilla was her name. Where did come from?

10:01 Well, I'm not sure. It's a great question. It was D and Pops. But I don't know why cuz we didn't both of my parents were only children. So they didn't have grandchildren before us that they were the names that they went with. But it's a good question. I don't I'll ask my mom. Um but when my grandmother died, my grandfather was a widowerower and I was going to school now 45 minutes away from him

10:24 at UNC Chap Hill. Great school. I love Great school. Great campus. Tar Hills. Tar Hills. Yes. Well, done. Dax. Yes. Now we're getting somewhere.

10:34 Unfortunately, uh, two years or a year before I got there, so we did not have the Jordan era teams. And then after I left, we won the championship, I think, a year later or two years later.

10:46 So, you were kind of a Didn't have rebuild period. And there was a rebuild. We were a rebuild period.

10:51 You got Jordan there. No, no, no. He followed Jordan. Oh, right. Jordan came before you.

10:59 That's kind of what I wanted. Jordan did come before he kind of followed Jordan. I um that reminds me of another story, but I'll save that one. So, my grandfather, he took it upon himself to say, "We're going to have lunch every week."

11:15 Oh. At the same restaurant. Top of the Hill. Uh it was not Top of the Hill. You know, some it was the Rat Skellar. um which is sort of underground and was a restaurant when he was at Chapel Hill in the '

11:28 40s and was a restaurant when my dad was at Chapel Hill in the '60s. So, and your dad's a third?

11:35 My dad's the third. My brother's the fourth. Um Okay. So, a lot of tradition happening here.

11:40 There was on C there there certainly was for a while. Actually, I did um Finding Your Roots.

11:45 Uhhuh. With um which was GI with Skip, which inc. Have you done that? I did it.

11:50 Yeah. It's pretty incredible. I mean, it's a very unique experience. I confess the way that I processed it when he showed me the family tree at the end, which dated back to Charlemagne in 700 something, whatever, France, which means essentially I come from a long line of bureaucrats because they all filled out the paperwork, marriage certificates, death certificates, birth certificates. That's how he can trace all that stuff. You're right. So, I didn't feel any particular pride.

12:21 Did he say that's the farthest back he's been able to get someone that feels? No. And it turns out

12:26 Yeah, it turns out Charlemagne uh is you're most people are a descendant of Charlemagne

12:31 like like Genghask Khan. Yeah, there is a significant percent. I thought great about it until I looked it up. I was like, "Oh, you're one of 600 million." You know, like the the the tree of people of Europeans coming from Charlemagne. But I did um because both of my parents were only children

12:49 and uh I didn't have aunts and uncles and cousins stuff. There wasn't much history that was shared between us. So

12:57 you were curious. I was very curious. And um so I also thought, you know, it it would be just a wonderful opportunity for my family to have, you know,

13:05 that's very cool. And trust me, there was it was replete with um bad stories. You know, they're Americans through and through. The first people that got here were like in uh late 17th century, early 18th century. And there were, you know, slave owners and there were uh Congress people. There were people who bought fought on both sides of the Civil War.

13:29 Really interesting people who were in uh P camps. He showed me a picture of one of the P camps. Wow. Confederate people who were held in the Union um Confederate camps. And so it, you know, I I've always I don't know. I'm thinking this is why I inherited it, but my parents and grandparents seemed to insist that civics was a part of your responsibility as an American.

13:54 So, you know, I was on the student council and that kind of stuff and as a boy scout and um

14:00 You were? I was. Okay. Um not a great one. Sure. A couple badges. More than a couple badges. Thanks. I particularly like not tying. Um, do you have the knife?

14:11 Uh, I had all the gear, of course, and it's I'm sure it's in a box somewhere and I would really I would love to find it.

14:19 Skip would like to get his hands on that stuff. Yeah. Well, I mail it on over. I don't know about that. I'm not convinced of it.

14:27 I don't want to do too long on it. But here's the other thing. So, it's like you're going to you're going to go in there and you're going to find out you're you're related to someone's famous, right? Historically famous,

14:35 right? to which I'm like I don't feel any ownership over it. Like I'm not ex I'm not proud of

14:40 Right. And then they hit you with you owns your family owns slaves. Yeah. And then conversely like I don't feel guilty about that. Like I I don't know what to do with that info. I didn't own slaves.

14:51 You didn't did you? No. But but it's put on you as if like you got an al process like I come from people who own slaves. Like well I

14:58 Well, I I I I I think of it um similarly but not the same. Okay. which is if you want to understand a bit of what this strange experiment of America is called which is so different than most other countries yet there's not a um pluralistic democracy that has a GDP like we do a very interesting strange thing that has all sorts of consequences that we're seeing right now and a lot of it is about trying to understand well what is it people

15:27 uh were trying to do maybe collectively or separately why were they fighting about it why did we have to come together about it? Why did we have wars about it?

15:36 Um, and so I think for me that was and my son and I were talking about it quite a bit uh during the lockdown and stuff and um it it was a way to sort of study what this country in general large is trying to do through by focusing on your lineage. So, I like that

15:57 I didn't feel a responsibility to any of the great stuff. I mean, or the guilt of the but I I did feel attendant to being an American.

16:07 And uh I for whatever reason, I think that's important. I wish you I wish I had talked to you before I did it cuz your pitch of it just now was so succinct. It's like you wrote it a month ago.

16:19 That was a beautiful way. That's my thing is I I write stuff. I memorize them. I put on other people's clothes and I pretend it's myself. But now back to grandpa taking you to the the restaurant.

16:29 Oh yeah. So he was he was angry. He was um a pretty impressive amateur athlete in high school in North Carolina. He set records in track and field in football and in boxing. Records that stood for 30 or 40 years and stuff. So he was a tough guy.

16:47 He was a tough guy. And then he went to World War II and was a in the um the bombers. He was in the like the radio guy and the thing blew up in his ear and made him deaf.

16:57 And uh but I'm not sure if like his just general vibe was anger. Um but my he did

17:04 he was tough on my dad. My dad was an only child and so he did not take kindly back to your question before about my dad working for a

17:14 competitor. Okay. And so those two had um would they get into it at like Christmas and stuff and family? They got into it all the time, but it was it was a lot of passive aggressive kind of

17:26 stuff. And um when I was at school going to lunch with him, then I was in the middle because my dad,

17:34 he wasn't terribly reliable financially. He was a fascinating guy. Complete to totally charming.

17:41 Is he with us? He's not with us. He died in 2005. Okay. Um the same age as my grandmother died at 63. They both smoked and you know my dad liked Paul MS and you know

17:51 my dad had 62 Vantage menthol 100s. Yeah. So they I mean like his whole body went cancer you know at once. He didn't want to mention the lung cancer part of it you know uh because then that would mean he had some responsibility in it. So he would always talk about the blood and the brain and the bone and you know like all the other ones but it was also lung cancer. And um he he was really a a lovely person and big dreamer. I liked being around him. Huge dreamer. There was no obstacle that couldn't be overcome. Uh just frame things a little differently. But that also meant he was kind of divorced from reality.

18:28 And it also I think stemmed from his father being um uh punitive towards him growing up. My dad felt like he had to hit the jackpot in order to be a success. Cuz my grandfather's way of loving was to toughen you up. I mean,

18:45 every lunch with me started with, "All right, what are you screwing up now?" Oh, wow. You know,

18:53 luckily the list was long. It didn't help, by the way, that my first semester I had a 1.7 GPA and I had to learn a few things about college. If you don't go to a class, you should probably drop it off at least rather than taking the zero. You know, you do that a couple of times. Doesn't matter if you make A's in the other ones, the average works out. But my grandfather did that to my father growing up and it I think it planted the seed that my dad was never good enough. So my dad had the inclination to pay him back

19:23 to be spectacular with major success. I think that was internally what was going on with my dad. But that never happens to people, right? You just don't hit the jackpot. You have to grind out of life and occasionally

19:35 a door opens, you get a ray of sunshine, then it closes and you know you go through

19:40 happen but with the odds of the lottery. Precisely. Yeah. So they happen. It's just you're looking at

19:46 speaking. Yes. You go, "All right, I've got about 20 more million tries and then I'm going to hit it."

19:51 Right. Right. Right. Um and my dad, you know, each time he pulled the thing, he's like, "Here we go. This is the one."

19:56 Yeah. I know it. Anybody else here have coins? You know, and so his whole thing, anybody else here have coins? Like that is how we grew up.

20:07 And so the lights would go out, you know, and in the dark you'd hear, "Ah, damn it." My mom would go, "Tommy." And he would go, "Ah, the mail, this postal system. I sent that dang check. Oh, they know."

20:21 She never took responsibility. Never took responsibility. It was very difficult for him to take responsibility. So consequently, when my grandfather and I were having lunch, uh often my dad hadn't paid the bills. Well, this I'm going to place part of the blame of this on my father that my 1.7 GPA,

20:36 which is when he told me he had pre-registered, paid the uh tuition, so I was pre-registered, that was in fact not true.

20:44 So when I went to pre-registration in order to get the classes that you might attend as a freshman, like anything after 9, um they were all gone. So, I ended up with a slate of AM 8 a.m. tough classes and I was making a an adjustment. Well, that happens twice a year and um there were lots of other bills to pay.

21:06 Yeah. And my dad was constantly saying uh he had paid them and my grandfather then would be like he my grandfather was extremely reliable and he was there for lunch laying on the horn, you know, every day. Uh, I mean every Wednesday or Thursday, whenever it fit into my schedule.

21:23 This is the exact same dynamic, by the way. My papa Bob worked at Wonder Wonderbread Bakery 45 years, saved everything. My grandfather, my dad's dad,

21:32 played by the rules, plotted along, and was safe. And my dad was a car salesman.

21:39 He started many, many businesses. He went bankrupt many times. He owed my grandpa money his whole life. I mean,

21:46 but then my dad would make a ton of money and start buying a lot of stuff and he would never pay anything back. So I, you know, my dad never made any money. That would be the difference. Yes.

21:54 Your dad never made any. He was a hustler. So he knew how to survive enough cuz he was a salesman of fabric, but also he was a

22:01 Well, once the thing here's what happened, I think, and again, this is conjecture on my part. Yeah. Because I didn't get to ask my dad this, but my younger brother was very close with my dad. And uh I think my dad was making up for lost time with my younger brother and um they became very close when my younger brother was in college in Austin and they would have lunch every week. Okay.

22:22 And he intimated at a certain point um about correspondence to organized crime at a certain point in our lives.

22:30 That being said, when the uh you were in the garment district in New York in the late '60s, early '7s, it was replete with mob guys. Okay. And my dad thought they were awesome.

22:42 So he liked to dress like them. He liked to gamble. He was a bookie. He was a lone shark. He carried a gun, you know.

22:49 Great. Took my mom to a uh the funeral of one of the mob bosses. And my mom who was like a debutant from South Florida.

22:58 That's what I was going to ask. Yeah. Tommy, what are we doing here? Whose funeral is this? And I was like, this is great. We got Junior over there. Bingo. Slim Jins over there. You know, like

23:11 it's a wise guy funeral, huh? It was a wise guy funeral. And so, uh, I think that started my dad's relationship with this sort of alternate economic system.

23:22 Mhm. What reminded me is you you you have a story about him taking you to something, but he's got to stop and collect.

23:30 Yes. Someone owes him money, right? Soccer practice, but he's got to also pick up his his dude.

23:35 That's right. His heavy Mr. O. Mr. Oh yeah. After the second time my parents got divorced because they were divorced then remarried to each other then divorced again.

23:44 How long was the gap where they were not married? It was like uh three I think they were divorced when I was six and then they remarried each other when I was nine. Okay.

23:52 Divorced again when I was 12. Oh wow. Um what a ride. So he was Yeah. And um you know they my mom and dad adored each other. They just simply adored each other. There was just my dad could not keep it together. And um so he had a uh he was divorced for the second time now and had a singles apartment in Dallas, Texas.

24:12 Um because really quick, you live in New York till 8 and then at 8 you moved to

24:16 we moved down to South Florida at six because my mom was from there after they got divorced the first time. Okay. It was so we were in Miami. Okay.

24:22 Um and I went to uh three different schools there. First, second, and third grade. And then

24:29 uh not because I was kicked out of them or because of my grades. I could feel the the judgement.

24:36 Um, no, just needed different schools for each of those grades. And then we moved to Dallas

24:42 where the new business opportunities were. He was o opening a company. I think this one was Coffee Elite, which um they sold it was a coffee additive that they would sell to like prisons to turn one pound of coffee into 10 lbs of coffee.

24:58 It was like cutting coke. It was the baby lax coffee. Exactly. Well, coffee elite was not so elite. It was just a front for his booking operation. And would he get you excited like he was too? Cuz like when my dad had new business, it would like we'd be the first person he he pitched

25:18 and and we I'd be like we're going to be rich. It was inc the inflatable ice chest, the Brock umbrella, the uh good products. he did have um um an interest in marketing. So he would try to buy the patents for products that had underperformed in the marketplace and try to remarket them in a different way. He was just never successful at it from a financial perspective.

25:42 Sure. For evaluating it by how much money we're talking about quantifiably whether or not you can pay your bills where she would say make your nut. Uh he did not he did not make his nut off but he always thought that he was going to

25:56 hit a home run. I mean to the point he got cancer when he was about I think 61 went into remission.

26:04 Um and at that point he realized that I was having some success in my career. So he was always wanting to partner on a new business venture. And you know, I would send him checks from time to time just to um if he needed to, you know, make ends meet or whatever. But I I was like, "Dad, I'm I'm not a a business guy. A, you know, not saying I and if I was, I would not be in business with you." Right.

26:29 Even with my uh minimal acumen in business, I know not feel like I'm thinking of the red and the black and the feels like you're mostly in the red. I think that's I think that's a stop sign for business. Um, so he he was often asking if I wanted to be a part of a business. And I said, um, by this point after he had gone into remission, he had this, um, to his way of thinking or the way that he would tell the story, he had somebody at the Vatican who had um, uh, endorsed a Do you remember those old box sets of cassettes? Uh, where, you know, self-help ones? No, it could be self-help. could be where you would buy a set of 40 cassettes and they would be in like a briefcase.

27:25 And so his Bible, Old Testament and New Testament in Spanish that he was going to sell to Central and South American

27:34 countries because it was endorsed by the Vatican. And so I was like, so you're taking advantage of people's faith and you know what? I don't think that's something I am going to partner with you on that. But yeah,

27:50 um since you've never paid me back for any of the money I've given before, how about I structure a loan for you?

27:55 Yeah. And so I structured a loan for him. He he set the terms. He def the first payment came due. He defaulted on the loan, declared bankruptcy, listed me as one of the creditors, and died 6 months later. You

28:09 And when I got that letter, he was like, "That letter is not that doesn't mean a thing." Also, it speaks to his optimism that he's taking the time to file bankruptcy with six months left to like like just let it rip. Like you're going to die.

28:22 All right. Who gives a about the collectors? Well, even when he was in hospice, I remember um he was like withered, you know and you could barely hear a whisper and but if you could make it out, he was saying, "I'm going to beat it."

28:38 And you're like, "Yeah, buddy." I mean, it's just whatever he needed to hold on to.

28:44 Are you're laughing now, but were you laughing then or were you like so angry about this?

28:50 It's a great question because I I was angry when I got to be an adult. But when I was younger, you know, the times that were scary were like the drunk driving times, you know, where my brother at 13 or 14 had to take over the wheel. You know, those things were not fun. Yeah,

29:08 but the guns and all and the colorful people and the new ventures, you know, I mean, we went to flea market after flea market. We were always finding these new products. He was there was constant optimism and occasionally he would, you know, um be on the right side of the line uh as a bookie. He was not a very good bookie, which is really bonkers because it seems like that's a lock to play the house in those. In any case, I think it's probably he's gambling on the side. Make sure the bets are equal.

29:38 Yeah, exactly. If he made made anything, well, back to the jackpot thing. Ah, I made 10 grand this year. We got I'll put it all in red, you know, let's turn it. Why not turn it into 20 or lose it all? So, there was a kind of, you know, he had like um a riot shotgun next to his bed.

29:55 And his um instructions were all right, don't go near that. Right. Right. There was no, you know, so it didn't feel like totally dangerous in the way. But as I got older, obviously, and was in a relationship myself, um I began to see how his lack of self-reflection and uh his inability to take responsibility was not a virtue

30:22 in a mentor. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We are supported by Alexa Plus. All right, let me tell you about something. I'm genuinely excited to talk about the all-new Alexa Plus. Look, we're all juggling a million things these days, and this thing is designed to actually make your life easier. It's like having a conversation with someone who really gets what you need. Picture this. You're planning a night out and instead of opening 12 different apps, you just have one conversation with Alexa and it handles everything. Dinner reservations, entertainment, the works. It learns your style and puts thousands of services at your fingertips. What I love about this concept is how natural it feels. You're not barking commands. You're just talking. And it works across your compatible devices, Echo, Fire TV, and more. It's your all-new smart proactive AI assistant. And honestly, the idea of

31:17 having AI that actually anticipates what you need, that sounds pretty amazing to me. Check it out at amazon.com/new Alexa. Also, you are paying the ultimate price, which is like you're moving nonstop. It sounds like

31:39 Oh, yeah. I went to nine different schools by the time I finished high school. Right. So, you you were probably buffeted by having two brothers. You're in the middle. That's like probably what gets you. If you're an only child in this scenario, you're probably pretty up, but you're in your little

31:52 I agree. And the three of us, you know, for sure we were uh posi. Yeah. And you just look at each other and you're like, "All right, this is batshit crazy, right?" And as long as they both agree this is bad crazy somehow that's we're good now.

32:05 It it it definitely helped. And you know we all had our different way of developing our understanding of our father later.

32:11 Yes. But when we were younger we just revered him. You know I I found a um uh a journal when from like 1981. I must have been I guess 12 or something. And um

32:24 in it and I'm talking about how my dad's a winner. How being a winner is the most important thing in the world. And I'm so proud of my dad cuz he is the ultimate winner. You know, he just had that energy about him.

32:34 I do think there's a moment though that people hit, which you obviously hit at some point and I've I hit it recently with someone in my life who was like sort of a mentor when I was younger and it was like, "Oh my god, this person's so great." And then you hit adulthood and you realize the reason they were so great is because they were your age mentally.

32:55 And then once you pass them, you can start seeing. What a great observation. Yeah. Like, oh, actually that's just very immature. That's really that's very childlike,

33:04 right? And then that's very disappointing to feel, right? And I I mean, that's perfectly said. I totally agree. Also, too, when you get to be the age they were when they were parenting you and you realize, oh, I don't think I would have done that. That seems like a that's a really risky thing to do. Obviously, it was a different period of time. you know, they were smoking in in the car, no seat belt,

33:29 drinking and driving was fine. Drinking and driving. We had a cooler in the back seat, you know, feeding a Miller high life or whatever. Um, while the windows are up. Um, my poor older brother,

33:40 he never smoked, but boy was he exposed to a lot of secondhand smoke cuz I smoked when I first started acting. Um, just out of nerves and because I guess my parents smoked and but and my younger brother smoked too, but my older brother, he was just around it all the time. you might as well have just started smoking, so why not?

33:57 But I think that the considering how young they were when they were making these mistakes, you have both a kind of appreciation and empathy for them and also it's exasperating, you know,

34:09 how were you dealing with the starting new schools nonstop? It was extremely helpful that my brother, my older brother Tommy, because we were a year apart in school, he was a year and a half older, but he was a, you know, junior when I was a sophomore. And, um, he always set the table. So,

34:27 was he a stud? He entered St. Thomas, well, we both entered St. Thomas Aquinus in 1984, I think. I was a sophomore.

34:36 Exactly. and he was he was a junior and his so he entered the school as a junior and was the senior class president as a senior. So he could find his footing.

34:48 He knew and so when I walked into the classroom it was always like oh you're Tommy's brother. Okay.

34:53 Okay. Wonderful. Was he Was he handsome and tough? He was Yes. Both of those. Both of those things.

34:58 He was a catcher on the baseball team. you had a mate just walked around and you know he did that when my career um started to have some success.

35:08 Yeah. He was he was working um as a publicist at MGM cuz he had been he had been tending bar on the Upper East Side Madhatter. It's the name of the place. I I waited tables there in the summer and um

35:21 a woman um who was a regular there said, "You're not working here anymore. you're going to come to MGM and be my assistant as just by the force of his own personality, you know. And so he starts as a publicist and when I would go to these premieres or the, you know, I'd have some event, Tommy would be there bulldozing the crowd. He's like, I'm taking care of Billy here. You know, you want to talk to that person, they'll talk to that person.

35:44 Oh, fun. And he, I mean, he's just, you know, that that kind of guy. So that that was one thing that really helped. The other thing was because it started very early in our lives, adaptability and this sort of carnival life

35:59 felt very familiar. Well, right. It was what it sounds like is you either adjust and you can do it or it destroys you.

36:05 Yeah, exactly. And then and and I think your point about having siblings, the the three of us were aligned, you know we

36:14 really um looked after each other and certainly my mom as the consistent one who had to make the money and go to PTA meetings and, you know, be involved in at back to the civics thing, she was involved in the community, you know, the um she she did the lion share share of mentoring and responsibility.

36:38 So, but I grew up very similarly and then I lived in this first apartment I had for 10 or 11 years and I lived in the next house for 16 years and never wanted to leave it. Do you are you a freak?

36:51 I've the apartment that I've had in New York I've had for 20 years, right? Were you a freak like I was a freak about my bedroom? Like my bedroom had to be the same.

36:59 I did not renovate uh till I was in a relationship with Naomi uh like Occasionally I would do things like build bunk beds for my son or something like that, you know, but

37:10 or try to um fix all of the problems myself or install the appliances myself. And I did not want things changing. And I think at a certain point Naomi realized that there was a slight indentation in the couch where I watched my baseball games for long enough to put an indentation in the couch. when she would walk into my apartment, it was like her eyes would bleed. You know, she's really interested in design and and frankly, you know, my son and I or were the occupants of that apartment. It was for us. You know, the reason we had a couch like that is cuz we like watching movies together. And um so, uh it all seemed incredibly comfortable.

37:53 And a lot of the stuff that I bought, I had this thing I I I I'm somewhat sentimental and and sometimes it kind of sneaks up on me in the ways that I'm sentimental. And like I said, I had a very close relationship with my grandfather.

38:07 And when he passed away, um, nobody really had room for a lot of this stuff except for me.

38:16 So I took the share of put some of it in storage, then kept some of it in my apartment. And they had these beautiful um lamps, like glass blown lamps, you know, and I just they, you know, reminded me of my grandparents house and of him. And they um they were just kind of romantic looking, but they were sitting in in my um closet in my new apartment, you know, 20 years ago or whatever.

38:40 And at a certain point, uh I said, I think I should hang these on the wall. Sure. And so I like got some

38:50 of put them into they weren't plugged in. They were um the decoration. It was Yeah. And and I realized like if you looked at it a certain angle um that uh you could imagine those houses I those lamps in a house in it like two-story house, you know, like the that one might be in the den downstairs and that one might be back up in the bedroom. So, I think I was trying to bring in some of my Well, to everybody else, they were like, "What in the are those lamps doing on the wall?"

39:21 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are they doing up there? You turn those off. No, not the actor. He's the lamps guy.

39:26 You know, do you find that you read up on the wall there and you need a lamp right there?

39:29 And I did have this idea of getting an electrician to put in plugs so that I could put them in. But I I never got around to that. So, my I to your point, I wanted for my son to have some stability. and consistency.

39:46 It's funny having kids makes you recalibrate. I'm sure I wanted it for myself, too, you know.

39:53 Did you pay any price for all that moving? I would say I benefited, you know, enormous amount.

39:57 When did you start acting in there in high school? I Yes, probably even before that, actually. Okay. Um, at like camp, you know, somebody would say anytime somebody said, "Does anybody in this class want to put on a costume?" I'd be like, "Yep, I'll do that. That's not a problem. That one's for the new guy." Like I was the new guy trying to fit in. and class clown was my angle

40:16 and so I anytime I got a part in anything I was happy to humiliate myself for it.

40:23 Did it do anything though as far as like preventing you from creating deep friendships? No, the actually thing I was going to say w was I have some lasting, incredibly lasting friendships from like the time I was born um to like my oldest best friend Ray Benrod, fourth grade, Dallas, Texas. Um we're still extremely tight. Had dinner with him two weeks ago in New York. Um, and the throughout high school, still have, you know, fantastic friends from high school and college cuz back then it's not like you you could you moved ultimately to Fort Lauderdale.

40:59 Yeah. You can't call your buddies in Texas cuz it's too much money to make like I don't even think young people realize that like you couldn't talk on the phone. It's too

41:06 expensive. I became I became possessive of those friendships. I realized that people around me had been friends since first grade. And when I started to see that, I would reach out to Rafe when we reconnected, you know, um, in high school and then when I was in college and, um, and subsequently thereafter and you'd have periods of times where you'd build different friendships, but it was really important to me to return to those friendships. So, in a way, it did did build a skill of attending to your friendships in whatever way you can, you know. Yeah, that's

41:41 well it was going to require effort if it was going to be maintained and you did if you just are they always live next door. You don't have to put a ton of

41:47 and it also gave me an incredible opportunity to um live different kinds of ways in America. You know, there were times when things were great and we were living in a nice house somewhere and there were times when things were not so great and it was a little precarious. and uh between

42:07 Texas and Florida and North Carolina and New York. Um I've I've lived in a lot of

42:14 cultures, different ways in this country and um I think it's a beautiful country in that way and to get to experience the different kinds of people.

42:21 Yeah. In that way, albeit, you know, um not always uh great for uh a child growing up or whatever, it definitely had its virtues. And um so I think that's another reason I have incredible affection for this place and um and the people in it.

42:39 How do you pick North Carolina just cuz of grandpa and dad? Yeah, exactly. Because if I was if I had left New York and then I was in Texas and then Fort Lauderdale, I feel like I would be like I need to get back to New York.

42:49 It's interesting the uh I I we left New York when I was six and we were on Long Island. So I only have kind of you know um

42:58 frosty memories of it. Picture memories. Yeah. But it wasn't like I I didn't feel like in possession of New York at the time. We weren't in Manhattan. I did the it was like another kind of place. And

43:09 if you go to Carolina, you're going to have all sorts of Carolina swag up in your house. And so my grandfather and my dad had signs, you know, indoctrinating you, the propaganda. If God wasn't a tar heel, then why is the sky Carolina blue? You know, that kind of stuff.

43:25 Yeah, good point, too. Is it, by the way, great point. Um and the uh hard to beat that.

43:31 And um so there was a kind of mystique surrounding that university and my brother ended up going to Texas Tech and so it was sort of left to me to carry that tradition.

43:43 Yes. And you truthfully I did not get in on my own merits. This is I was a part of a legacy group. I know full well how this country works frankly on the legacy Okay. I am a benefactor of it and it really started to haunt me at school um because 85% of the

44:03 student body was um in state and so getting in from out of state was really difficult and I was a good student and I was very active, you know, I was in sports, I was on the student council, I did all the things that you should do. I was a well-rounded student. Exactly. And um but still definitely not good enough.

44:23 So hard to get into that school out of school. And because my dad went there and because my dad knew somebody at the emissions, I'm certain the reason that I got like that at all. I felt like a fraud when it started to really really dawn on me really. And I think that was a part of me branching out and saying I'm going to cut my own path as an actor and and that's why I got my masters. I paid for it.

44:47 This is fascinating. So, but I can understand where were you weren't floundering there though, right? No, I was uh thriving actually. I mean, I I I loved it. Yeah, that's an interesting thing you focused in on. Like I would feel that way if I got there and then I was like I was an embarrassment and I wasn't rising to the level everyone else was on. But if I was thriving, I guess I would be like I was grateful for it, but I think I I

45:14 I I I realized it as well that there were there was another candidate out there that was probably more qualified that didn't get it.

45:21 There was some injustice. And so, yeah, I mean that um yeah, I saw it up close and personal. So, when I when I decided to go in and get my masters,

45:31 yeah, I was mostly hedging my bets because I realized that there was nobody in my family that was in the entertainment business. I didn't have any reason to think that you could actually have a career in it. And most of the mentors in my life were teachers. And so I thought I would really love a life as a teacher. And I really love performing. So I would love a life as a a teacher of acting.

45:57 Oh, interesting. So when you went and got your masters, you were mostly thinking, well, I'll teach acting.

46:01 I was I was hedging my bets. I was like, if I would like to act professionally, but since nobody does. Um,

46:08 again, you're rebelling now against your dad, which is like, I'm going to be ultra realistic.

46:12 Correctly. I'm going to be responsible. I wanted to pay for my um for the um applications, you know, $50 fee here, $100 fee there. I wanted to drive to the auditions. I wanted to get in on my own merits if I got in anywhere. And um when I got into school

46:34 at NYU, that felt like an enormous accomplishment in the way that Carolina did not feel like an enormous accomplishment, even though I still had to survive at school and do as well as I could. Yeah.

46:45 Um, so that that was a big part of me kind of establishing my own sense of self. I think

46:53 you were in the Tish School. Yes, they well they it's called the grad acting program because it the undergraduate is the Tish school. Okay. And they're all a part of Tish. Okay. But um

47:04 the undergraduate has three or four separate acting components uh to it. And the graduate program is a conservatory style program where there's 20 people in each class and you have three years and you just spend day and night

47:22 studying voice, speech, text, movement. Kristen went to Tish undergrad. Yes. And she did Alexander technique where you're like breathing into people's mouths and the young men are wearing sweatpants. You're not breathing into people's mouths, man. I don't know where you got that every day. drives me nuts. That is not what you do with the Alexander technique. It's just a way to find a neutral spot so you can process air through your lungs and create a good reliable sound with your voice. a nice consistent listen to his voice.

47:53 That's one of the best Alexander techniques really worked out. Uh so when breathe into each other's mouths in sweatpants

48:02 actually well the sweatpants is dead right and we had this incredible um Alexander teacher whose name will come to me in a second but you you there he had like four

48:14 um acolytes is that the right word that people who followed underneath him. And so you would typically not get with the grandmaster of Alexander. You'd spend most of your time with the other person, but occasionally you'd get a session with him and sometimes he'll do table work where he'll try to like help you align to your spine. This is how you hold your body. You're trying to figure out how you naturally hold your body so you can find a more neutral place of starting and then build the character from there. And so he'll be like, you know, doing some work on you and you're lying there kind of trying to readjust yourself and breathing and he'll kind of listen to your breath and and he he put his head on my chest at one point now

48:55 and then and then and then I hear Oh no. And I start laughing. He he fell asleep.

49:02 And so the the laughing from my thing woke him up and he goes and take a breath in.

49:07 Oh wow. So, it's even worse, Monica, than I said. It's going to sleep on each other while you're breathing each other's mouths. It's like sleeping with each other. We didn't breathe into each other's mouth.

49:15 There's no breathing each other's mouths. I also study theater, so I take some umbrage with this because I did not breathe into anyone's mouth. This is funny. My my Rafe,

49:26 that's his name, right? You got it right. My Rafe is Callie and she actually is um in marketing at Netflix and she did the Jay Kelly trailer. This all circles. Yes. Um, but she brought up the other day that in one of my acting classes, I guess I I have no memory of this, but I had to wear a mask, like a blanket.

49:45 Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Mask. And mask work. That's mask work. Neutral mask we call that.

49:50 That's right. Yes. And we had to wear it around campus. Like we had to be Wait, where was this?

49:57 University of Georgia. Oh, wow. Gosh. Even you're a bulldog. Yeah. And so she said, she was like, "Yeah we

50:05 mask her mask liked Alabama." No, the mask is neutral. Roll tide up here. That's the way to get killed at Georgia if you want with us.

50:17 Um, but apparently she was like, "No, we would try to find you on campus like while you were walking around in your mask cuz you had Yeah. And they wanted to like distract me, but I had to like not pay attention and be neutral. How could you not remember walking around campus with a mask on?

50:31 No, that's hum I mean that's like hazing stuff. I mean acting is already so humiliating.

50:38 Oh, it's so embarrassing. What a It's not a bad idea in general to get you um used to the idea of rejection.

50:45 That's true. Which is a common denominator for us as actors for the rest of your life.

50:50 Yeah. Anyway, I was pretty impressed with myself cuz I was like, man, I was committed.

50:54 You don't even remember. You were so in character, you weren't even imprinting memories. Yeah. Monica's brain was offline.

50:59 Man, I do remember you from As and and and and a bit informative to my broader questions about your path, but you're not like hellbent on being a professional actor. I I I wasn't until the first day of acting school when you have something called showings where the incoming class does the monologues that they did to get into school.

51:28 Mhm. And this is the first year, second year, and third year. The second year does seamwork and the third year does whatever they end up doing, whether it's a a personal piece or seam work. And when I saw a collection of 60 other young people who were actually invested and interested in the craft

51:49 Mhm. and I saw the that they were doing, I thought, "Oh, no. That's exactly what I want to do.

51:54 I just needed to be around people who were taking it seriously." Now, at the time, I was, yes, still like targeted to get my masters, etc., But there was no question that that really that day rung a bell in me.

52:09 Well, now it wasn't a pipe dream. It was a reality that was observable in all these other people. So maybe it didn't seem so cool.

52:16 That was it. And you know at Carolina I wasn't a theater major. Um even though I did theater because I knew my dad and my grandfather would not accept that. So I was a speech communications major and um you know what the hell did that mean? And you know, it meant you took class in broadcasting and marketing and you know, a lot of different kinds of things, uh, rhetoric, but they also they had a performance studies concentration. So, I could take classes like oral interpretation of pros and poetry. And my dad thinks I'm doing marketing, but meanwhile, I'm figuring out how to play do like a James Joyce short story as a performance. I'm having a ball. You're doing monologues and I'm doing monologues and getting A's most importantly to make up for that not so stellar 1.7 GPA trying to write the ship. Um and uh so I did a lot of performing but and and I also did work in the the theater department there

53:10 where there were two teachers there Susanna Reinhardt and Dee Corvenous who um I took introduction to acting with them and they were like you can sign up for whatever class you want. you have such an interest in this and you have so much energy. Um, and so they let me I took the whole slew of classes at in the acting department. Um, and I did performances there. So I was around a lot of people but we we were undergraduates in a way that

53:36 and you're in North Carolina. North. It wasn't, you know, Playmakers as a great repatory theater and they uh produce really good work, but I didn't, it wasn't the same kind of thing as seeing these hyper uh ambitious, focused, like obviously professionally talented people. Yes.

53:55 Um, Robin Wigger, who's a fantastic actor, she did this monologue that she wrote that was an imagined discussion between I hope I'm getting it right, but I think it was Gertrude Stein and Pablo Picasso

54:08 and she was like Meil Stre and she was in my class and I I'd just never seen anything like that. It was incredible.

54:16 So, you graduated in '94 and then you get your first big Broadway plays 96. 94 actually. I got uh

54:24 it was about 6 months after I graduated school that um I landed a part in a Tom Stopppard play,

54:32 Arcadia. Arcadia. Yep. And um uh that was at Lincoln Center. Were you shocked to have success that quickly after graduating?

54:39 Definitely. Um and my you know friends and colleagues made sure to make me feel like I should be shocked. Everybody was extremely happy for me. Now I'm a philistine, but I understand Tom Stopppert is what everyone has a boner for. Like all my friends that are super into acting, he's the dude. You've done a couple.

54:57 I have. Yeah. And he's um his writing is just unusual. He's got a fascinating mind and he English is his second language and or maybe his third or fourth. I'm not sure. I think he was um born in Czechoslovakia. I I may be wrong about but I believe that's right. and um his attendance to language

55:22 is it's just unusual. He thinks on different levels at the same time. So some of his plays,

55:30 you know, and he was actually there for rehearsals. Trevor Nun was directing it and I I used to watch these tapes called Acting Shakespeare, I think it was. They were like VHS tapes that had the Royal Shakespeare Company and Trevor Num was the youngest at that time I think artistic director of the Royal Shakespeare Company talking about monologues and it was like uh Ian Mckllen and Patrick Stewart, Anthony Hopkins, Bob Hoskins, Helen Mirren, you know, like just bad asses. And so all of a sudden, this guy that I was watching in high school talk about text and language and how to lift it and perform it and celebrate it was directing me in this Tom Stopppper play and Tom Stoppard's there.

56:12 So Tom Stoppper to back to the point about his use of language. Um, you know, he would I I'd go I tried to say very little because I did not want to get fired

56:23 and I was like, "Uh, sorry, Tom. Is that a um a double on tandra there? And you go, well perhaps or maybe a triple. Could be quadruple if you take the time. You know, like

56:38 what do I do with that? Incredible. I'm like, is that playable? He's like, no, definitely not. But if you were asking, you know,

56:48 I mean, just a brilliant, brilliant mind. And that character in particular, he's like this tutor to this 13-year-old math prodigy, and he's he wants to be Byron. So, he's always like making he thinks of himself, he's like, "Ah, I'm a tutor." And so, like, he's got to make all of his jokes to himself.

57:07 So, that but the audience gets to share in that. So, he's a great conduit for the audience. And he's a romantic figure. And then he dies saving her. So, it's like I mean, that's like winning the lottery. You come out of school into the professional life as this hero, this incredibly articulate, beautifully dressed, by hero.

57:28 Dangerous first hit. Yeah. Yeah. They're definitely nowhere to go but down from there.

57:33 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that'll get you hooked. We had a cast. Robert Shawn Leonard, Victor Garber, Paul Giamatti, um Jenny Dundas. There there's just like fantastic actors up and down the line. So, there was a great support system in it. Now, when you're doing that and it's working and I and obviously you're like, "Yeah, you're with Giamani and all these people, it's it's it's heaven." Are you content or are you like, "I want to do movies. Where are we at in like where we think is next or were you even looking?"

58:03 I wasn't thinking uh um about that. know that you know the sort of training that I had I it implicitly or explicitly was suggesting that it might be a good idea to take as many different kinds of parts as possible so that you will build some level of versatility to combat the um periods of time where you are unccastable um which just happens you know and um so

58:34 I was interested in parts and it didn't matter to me whether or not they were in film uh or on the stage. I discovered pretty quickly though that that television scared me because I had auditioned for it was a news show. It was a pilot.

58:50 Okay. and they wanted me to do a screen test and I was in New York and um I was standing on the corner think 57th and 6th or so on the pay phone with my new agent Philip Carlson and he was telling me that I had to sign a deal and I was like cool what does that mean? He goes, "Well, this deal is a seven-year deal. So if" And I'm And I'm like, "Wait, wait wait wait wait."

59:14 Yeah. The sevenyear deal for what? He's like, "The show." Like, "But I don't have the part yet." And I'm right. They don't want to fly you out unless you're going to do it if they cast you. And I'm like, "Do what? I read one scene.

59:28 How will I know what it is that I'm going to do? You're going to do this scene for the next

59:33 I'm going to do this scene for the next seven years. that's not going to be great for the whole versatility game. Um, so that scared the out of me and I kind of stopped. I was lucky enough, that's the truth, is I was lucky enough to make enough money to cover my expenses.

59:48 Your nut, my nut, as my dad would say. Um, um, so I I I was ready to do that where I not to make money, but uh, I was lucky enough to make enough money. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

1:00:15 Okay. So, when you get in Sleepers, cuz the play's 94, Sleepers is 96. And just to remind everyone who's in Sleepers, because you might have forgotten,

1:00:23 it's Brad Pitt, it's Kevin Bacon, it's Robert Dairo, Dustin Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman,

1:00:29 Jason Patrick, Mini Driver, what directed by Barry Levenson, who made some of my favorite films growing up. Oh, the Baltimore Trilogy. Um, just like

1:00:40 Avalon. Avalon. I mean, phenomenal filmmaker. What could be more exciting? Nothing.

1:00:46 Yeah. So, how do we compute that? like first plays a Tom Stopper and then our first movies like Dairo and Hoffman and

1:00:53 I was sh hitting myself. Were Yeah. Were you intimidated? It was Jason Patrick, Brad Pitt, Ron Lard, and myself who were supposed to be four buddies and we got to send to Juvie and not treated well.

1:01:07 Ron Lard and myself, our characters did not turn out well. We became a part of the Westies essentially, which was uh

1:01:14 You guys were all molested. We were all molested and beaten, you know. Um, and uh, so Brad Pitt was able to get out of it in some way. Jason Patrick was able to get out of it in some way, but he and I got uh, Ron and I got caught up in it. In any case, we were paired up for most of the scenes.

1:01:33 Yeah. And he had a very similar approach to acting that I did. We were really acting nerds.

1:01:39 Yeah. That was that was a safety net for me. And uh we talked shop a lot and you know sat there marveling over Dairo on the stand playing a scene you know we could barely hear him and watch him working.

1:01:52 Did you have the type of personality did you try to talk to these folks between takes?

1:01:57 No. Um I mean Dustin Hoffman he played our lawyer so he would talk to us and he was extremely entertaining often trying to steal our lines I might add. not his first rom. But he uh was incredibly charming. And my mom came to set one day and he made this big thing of like jumping over the um the what do you call them? Benches or what's in a courtroom where the people sit. I know. I want to say pew, but it sounds kind of churchy.

1:02:26 It is. Well, he jump like leaprogged over them and it was like what's her name? Georgian. Georgan. Like and my mom was out of her skull. She still has the picture of me and Dustin and her from that day. So, what a moment.

1:02:39 It was that was an amazing moment. There were lots of aspects of that that were um

1:02:45 they were just novel in a way that you can't describe. And you're trying not to it up. You know, that's the

1:02:53 I don't know anything about Your dad must have been going berserk. Uh my dad started to go berserk when I did without limits and it was about an athlete prefontain Steve Prefontaine. My dad started to get on board because Without Limits was the first time I was starring in something. He actually had this hilarious habit where he he was terribly interested in words. It's somebody who tries to use big words but always gets it wrong.

1:03:17 And my dad was kind of like that, but he had a word a day calendar and on his answering machine he would always

1:03:24 he would always leave he missed me this time. Uh however, I am going to give you a gift today. The word of the day is superfluous. Superfluous.

1:03:38 And you would change it every day. Yeah. Regularly. If it was every day, probably not, but regularly. Yeah. And in in me teaching you this word is in fact the definition of the word super.

1:03:50 You don't need to know this. He might say something like, "Hey, Bill, you are super fluous in that."

1:03:58 Understanding for you. Got the super. Sure. Sure. Maybe going for superb. Okay, so without limits, prefontaine, you're already a runner. That helps. People love to play prefontaine. This is not This has happened a few times.

1:04:11 Well, you know what happened actually is they were part of the same creative team. Uh the producers, writers, directors, um were all trying to Tom Cruz was going to do it first

1:04:23 and then there was some disagreement about how to proceed. Of course, he wanted to. He's the best onscreen runner we've ever had.

1:04:33 100%. Nobody runs as fast. It's terrifying how fast he runs on during the period of time that um they were fighting about how to make it happen. He felt like he aged out of the part.

1:04:44 Okay. So, he became a producer. But um what happened was I can't remember who it was, the producers or the writers, but one group got enough money to start making the movie. At which point the other group was like, "We have to make the movie first." So they were literally in a race and I had no idea. I had been cast.

1:05:08 I moved up to Eugene, Oregon, where we shot a bunch of it. I went to um the field where he ran. And um somebody said, "Oh, uh which which of the movies are you with?" And I was like, "Which of the come again? Which of the And that was when I learned that there was a competing movie happening at the same time.

1:05:33 Okay. That was the Jared Leto version. That was the Jared Leto version. And um theirs came out ours ours was called Pre first. And because theirs came out first and it was called Prefontaine, they had to change the title and it became without limits. But

1:05:47 Okay. Okay. This is like um Wyatt Urban Tombstone or Yeah. Oh yeah. totally exactly the same. Speaking of which, um I'm about to go to London to do a stage adaptation of High Noon and uh so I've been watching westerns and Patrick Wilson turned me on to a whole bunch and I I I didn't really know the western genre so well. My Darling Clementine, if you like the Wyatt Herb story, Henry Fonda plays it. It's awesome.

1:06:14 My Darling Clementine. Okay, I like those movies. I like a western. They're very applicable to right now. And what you discover is a lot of the writers the guy who wrote High Noon the movie uh was blacklisted and part of I mean if you rewatch High Noon under these circumstances you see it's really not about that kind of heroism. It's about um cowardice in the face of um a violent threat and how people

1:06:45 uh kind of turtle up even uh for somebody who they have lionized before. Yeah, if they feel like it's not in their best

1:06:53 interest. So there you go. I mean the big red scare was people giving up names, people being blacklisted. Um companies not wanting to put out uh anything that might be perceived as um left-leaning. Um, and so yeah, that culture you you watch those movies in uh that were made in the '50s and

1:07:17 it's essentially how do you make a civil society out of a lawless community and so without laws and the rule of law and consistency with the rule of law and its application,

1:07:31 yeah, what you have is a bit of chaos. And can you have a civil society in a chaotically structured environment?

1:07:39 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, I become very aware of you, of course, like a lot of people my age, uh, Almost Famous. This is a big I watched a little clip of you and Sam Jones today, which was kind of funny.

1:07:52 Oh, he's awesome. He's the greatest. And I loved his his his show off camera. It was so great. But he's talking about he actually was the one who had to photograph you for the cover of Esquire by just coincidence.

1:08:06 He's a great photographer. We still All of our artwork is he took of me nine years ago or 10 years ago.

1:08:13 He's a phenomenal photographer, but I was I was This can't be a nice story. Well, no. It's just simply It's not nice or not nice. It's that it was not for you.

1:08:23 Yeah, it was not. And I guess I think that's my big curiosity from looking at you from afar.

1:08:29 What wasn't for you? Being famous or being on the cover of a magazine. Magazines. Got it.

1:08:34 It didn't feel right. Well, you know, I'll tell you what happened was in the '9s there was this big rush by entertainment glossy magazines, and there were a lot of them to discover the next big thing. So, there was something called the IT guy or the ITG girl. And I'm sure they still have it. I sound like I'm 104.

1:08:58 We had things called the IT guy. It used to be more in your face. It was different for sure.

1:09:04 It was intense. And they kind of they crammed some people down your throat. They rejected most people down your throat.

1:09:09 I want to say someone's name, but I don't want to say and and I was aware of those kinds of things that that were happening. They were happening before people actually produced anything.

1:09:18 Right. And I was not feeling terribly confident. I didn't feel like I feel like I did good professional jobs in movies, but I didn't think I was giving like memorable performances. But they thought I photographed well. So, they wanted me for their magazines. And I realized I didn't want to be a model. I didn't want to wear somebody else's clothes. I was just interested in acting. I definitely didn't want to talk about myself or talk about my personal experience because how am I going to be able to convince people that I'm somebody else if they know all this about me and I'm also not that good. So, you know, that was like a part of my it was that that was a conscious strategy on my part much to the sugarin of many people I worked with.

1:09:59 Yeah. So, this is kind of common. We've interviewed a bunch of people who are they're hesitant to be interviewed because they have this old architecture of like you don't want people to know the real you so that you can convincingly play these other people.

1:10:10 Neutral mask if you will. Neutral mask if you will breathing in one another's mouth damping on each other's chest pants.

1:10:21 No. I think a lot of actors said like well I don't want everyone to know me cuz then they won't be able to believe me in this. And that's that's the logic they've employed. But I do think simmering under that are some fears.

1:10:34 I'll tell you this, I was not unambitious in my work. I went after some Okay. And so like, you know, people would say sometimes they would say, "Oh, you don't want to be a star." I was like, "Did you see Watchmen? You think I was not trying with Dr. Manhattan?" I mean, that wasn't I wasn't deuring. You know, Almost Famous wasn't meant to be a uh niche drama. Um the it's just that like it's they didn't work. You know, Almost Famous lost money.

1:11:02 It did. That's insane. So people think about it and I was number one on the call sheet. So I got and since I wouldn't do press either, it wasn't like my rate was go was going up.

1:11:12 Um and uh so I wasn't getting a lot of the opportunities, you know, I had to audition. I had to put myself on tape with dummy sides for Alien Covenant.

1:11:22 Wow. So, you know, at this point at when that came at 47 or something, I've been in a lot of things.

1:11:28 So, it's even I I wasn't demuring from that, but I wanted to do it on the merits of my work, not on a magazine's interest in exploiting my cheekbones, which by the way is cartilage from my hip. So, I don't walk so well now, but I've got these great cheekbones.

1:11:48 You had them put in from your hips? Yeah. When I was young. My parents did that.

1:11:51 Oh, good for them. They wanted to set me up for success. Got it. They made the right call. They're gorgeous.

1:11:58 I remember sharing a story about going to a couple of different schools and the way that the writer um rendered it was that he had a very difficult upbringing. And that was one of the first articles that I think came out. My mom was in tears. Yeah.

1:12:18 So, I think there was also a part of me that was protective of my parents and whatever um uh that the people around me,

1:12:27 but also it's kind of sounds like it's the UNC thing all over again. Like you really are only comfortable if you feel like you really earned something.

1:12:35 Yeah. By you. Uh probably. Yes. It's the same thing. Yeah. I I think that's a good

1:12:42 You kind of circle I think that's a good observation. I I it's hard for me to be comfortable in general cuz I think I realize how much luck there is in life and I I really I walked into even though you know we talked about some of the difficulties of having a parag childhood. I walked into a fastball in my life. I got really lucky in a lot of different ways.

1:13:00 I'm going to go one step further on that. So I think you were feeling like your dad if you were to jump in the spotlight and do all these things. That would have been a very dad move. That would have been what your dad would have done.

1:13:11 Definitely. Live fast, die hard. Yes, that is not a long career. 100%. So that's what I mean is like there might also have been in the mix a little bit of I'm still defining myself as not being like my dad as I did my whole life too.

1:13:24 Sure. I am absolutely sure. I mean I that I think that's in in so many aspects of my young adulthood. Yeah.

1:13:33 Is trying to figure out the ways I'm the same, the ways I'm different. How can I how can I um uh embrace the things that I loved about him that are in me without accepting the things that were difficult?

1:13:46 And often they're the same thing. That's what's so hard. That's true. The irony is if you're me and then you just wake up and you look in the mirror and you're like,

1:13:53 "Oh, I'm I'm him. I tried to be the opposite and I just really became him." I I did this uh show um called Hello Tomorrow and I was interested in

1:14:04 which I love by the way. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Um the the it's it's a sort of death of a salesman sort of story.

1:14:10 They're selling plots on the moon. Selling plots on the moon. Exactly. He's um he's a traveling salesman in a retro future like the Jetsons or something like that. Retro American future. And um so he's selling time shares on the moon.

1:14:23 Except there are no time shares on the moon yet. But he believes that well this is it was totally coincidental. We shot in Manass. the street like in the opening sequence that's that's in Manhasset and the on every call sheet they list a hospital and the hospital is Northshore Hospital the hospital that I was born in.

1:14:43 Whoa. And you're playing your dad. I'm playing my dad. Yes, you are. Yeah. When I look at pictures from that um and some of pictures of my dad, I mean it's like spitting image.

1:14:56 You're so good. Like when you sit down at the in in the diner with the guy who wants nothing to do with you. The way you turn that whole scenario

1:15:05 Oh, thanks. was so skillful. I You can't really act your way into it. There has to be some kind of um you know, cellular salesman in you.

1:15:15 Yeah. Well, you know, my dad there there was a kind of curiosity even in the word thing. He was curious about things. He loved people

1:15:25 much more than I do. Yeah, but he loved people like terribly interested. You know, he'd get into a cab and

1:15:33 I'd sit down and he say, "Hey, how you doing up there?" Uh, give me your name. Uh, I see it and I don't exactly know how to pronounce it and I'd like to be correct. And the guy's name, he's like, "It's John." He's like, "Oh, John. Wonderful to meet you, John. I'm uh uh Tommy Crudup. You can call me TC, big T, top dog, whatever you like. Uh, this is my son, uh, Billy. I call him disco. You can call him whatever you like to. He's an actor.

1:15:58 John, now tell us about you. Wow. And then he would lean into the conversation.

1:16:05 And then typically by the end of it trying to get John to be a business partner with him something.

1:16:12 You ever thought about selling Spanish Bibles out of the trunk of this thing? What are your thoughts on the inflatable ice chest, John?

1:16:20 I could go great in this cab. Wow. um unique from the outside. What I have observed and the the kind of theories I've come up with about you, it's and it's substantiated by people I run into who know you, which is like you're an actor's actor. Every actor has a boner for you. It's a fact. Even the actorous actors, there's a ton of reverence there. Like a lot and a lot of the guys that I know that are really good, they all admire you in the very similar way. and Jennifer Anderson. We just had Jennifer Anderson on and she said the exact same thing.

1:16:54 I feel the same. But I was like, "Oh, this is one of these unicorns who was not pulled towards a ton of money like I was and loves the stage and just prioritize that." And it seems almost impossible for someone to make that decision if if you're like me and you're a greedy little pig and you want security. Like, so I've just always been curious from afar of like, wow, this guy has some kind of integrity that I really I can't imagine having.

1:17:22 Well, I'm I'm going to Is this broadcast? Because I'd like to put this out all over the place.

1:17:27 Okay. I really appreciate that setup there, Dax. Yeah. Um the my interest was in trying to exploit the best of my potential and uh this kind of goes back to civics because you should u contribute to your community and if you have a skill set that's applicable in some way that can contribute to your community even if it's stupid storytelling.

1:17:56 Yeah. Yeah. If you can be really good at it, you can be really useful in a certain sector of somebody's life. You know, this part of their life, they need a half hour break or whatever.

1:18:04 Yeah. Um like that guy in Hello Tomorrow, he uh that character feels really useful when he can light that guy up with a little bit of hope.

1:18:14 And I feel useful when I can tell a good story. Yes. and I can collaborate with people with desperate uh upbringings and ways of seeing and create something that none of us imagined uh individually. One of the reasons why I love New York, why I've been there, it like it is pluralism, right, smashed in your face, you know, it is just compressed, distilled and so the audience is there Jews sitting next to a cowboy with a cowboy there. Yes. And on your way to work on the train, you're going to sit next to all of those people and one of them is going to tell you to off once a day. So you're not going to be able to get a big head about it, but you're going to be a part of the community. And so I suppose that's one way, one reason why the theater in particular,

1:18:58 I think the biggest reason is because that's where I've had some of the best parts. I mean, you know, how do I turn down some of those parts? It's just

1:19:05 I I I studied this kind of work so I could apply it in this way. So if somebody's going to give me an opportunity, I should get off my ass and do it. And um and you know, keep my cost of living low. That's another big thing.

1:19:22 Well, one thing I happen to know about you is um you did have a safety net from 1998 to 2007, I want to say.

1:19:33 Oh, more than that. More than that. Yeah. Hold on. Let me just Don't say though what.

1:19:38 Okay. 1998 to 2005. A big safety net. And I've printed something up for you and I and I hope you'll cold read this for me.

1:19:45 I certainly will. Okay. cuz Monica probably doesn't know this and this is great.

1:19:50 Yeah. Get in position. This is a treat for you. Prada sunglasses $548. Striped blouse from the row $1,600. Hermes Birkin bag $38,500. Realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look, you're going to Tonka in the car.

1:20:15 No. No, no, no. Stop. Stop it. Priceless. There are some things might buy for everything else. There's faster card.

1:20:27 I don't even know what Tonka means. But does that mean yourself? That means that is that it's capitalized. I can do another I can do a better tape. Okay, let's go again. That was just that. That was warm up.

1:20:41 This is like that thing I wrote. realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look.

1:20:49 It's too hard. Hold on. Hold on. I'm a professional. You know, if you pay me a little money, I'll take it very seriously. This is the only way we're getting the campaign back. Really?

1:20:57 No. Oh, I think I deserve some money for this. Realizing I can guarantee in the 13 years I did it, I never had to say $38,500.

1:21:10 Yeah, right. realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look, you're I can't do it.

1:21:16 Is it is incredible. That's great writing. I got to tell you that as well is writing the cave. Did you watch this great doc we watched is about these people

1:21:26 empir right. But one of the chimps was Tonka and Tonka would wipe his duty on the glass and they had Tonka and they had to make Tonka clean as So when Monica had an accident, she's been referring to it as Tonka.

1:21:49 I said I said I felt like I was Tonka. Like I was just an animal like no control.

1:21:57 We we have a friend and I who is desperate to write a book called Happens about all of those kinds of stories. Yes,

1:22:04 we are famous. towns on Earth are um when we call it unauthorized evacuation. We have a month on Fridays and people tell us stories of their unauthorized evacuations.

1:22:15 There was another one that I really liked where um somebody thinks they're going to pass wind and you know something else where uh it's uh I gambled and lost.

1:22:24 Yeah. Yes, that's right. People say I trusted a fart. I haven't heard that one yet. I trusted a fart. And then uh

1:22:33 I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. Okay, let's see. This is you. Prada sunglasses $548. Stripe blouse from the row $1,600. Hermes Birkin bag $38,500. Realizing halfway home from Santa Monica that despite how cute you look, you're going to Tonka in the car. Priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Master's car.

1:22:57 I mean, there's a professional. Thank god he was not around in 1997 when I was auditioning for that. But that's a gift of all gifts, right?

1:23:04 For sure. That kind of allows you I think we should really really celebrate like that gives you the freedom to do have the exact career you wanted.

1:23:11 I was just texting last night um with one of the producers uh of the Mastercard campaign. Uh Greg Lotus is his name.

1:23:21 You're so good with names. It's kind of maddening. Joyce Thomas. Uh she started the whole thing. Joyce King Thomas. and she um you know some of these names by the way what if they're all made up and I'm getting them all wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:23:36 You're selling it though. Do you know Timothy Olafan? Yes. So he does what you're saying but he he really does it. He says is Deborah so and so and then that's not who it was. And he started saying names when we interview him. I go stop. You know these aren't the real names. It's very close. Well, it's important to give these two credit though because Greg wrote Greg wrote to me last night and Joyce is um

1:24:01 uh at the point where she could be in the advertising hall of fame or something and he was like, "Would you write something?" And I wrote exactly that. She worked for an ad advertising agency and they were often trying to get an account to win an account. So they would do a temp version of what they were doing um or do a real version of it and um try to give it to the the company in this case Mastercard. But I did one for Champion Athletic wear and Mastercard and I was just doing it for the session fee and getting some uh experience doing voice over.

1:24:33 She um called my agent and said they they won the account and they just wanted to use the voice that they used in the track. And I got to say the first year or so, even though I was making some money, um I I didn't understand what I really had. And I was kind of like, "Oh, this is a pain in the ass. I got to go up to 20th Street again and go record the same word,

1:25:00 say the same thing, you know." And it was about 2 years into it where I realized this is the gift of a lifetime. So, you're right. I had an enormous safety net in that. I mean, when you're starting out, if you can bank on 20 grand, 50 grand, whatever it is a year,

1:25:17 yeah, you that your life opens up creatively. You can really make the kinds of you don't have to take those jobs. You don't have to do

1:25:26 sevenyear contracts, sevenyear contracts or the marketing, you just do, you know, you work your six months at a time. Try to keep yourself employed, stay in the game, take the good parts that you can. Um, but I'm telling you by, you know, year 10, I was just like I could walk in that do 20 spots in about 20 minutes and uh it it was

1:25:50 and pay rent on your next apartment for the It was great and it's iconic. It's a cool thing to be a part one of the greatest it became a cultural phenom. People would use it as you know. Well, I occasionally would be invited to these like charity events where they you would be like um um golf like event cuz I played golf when I when I was growing up and I like competing at anything. So, I would show up at these charity events and um I'd walk up to the foresome and I'd say, "Hi, I'm Billy Crudeup. I'm um I'm your celebrity um uh fifth man on the team." And inevitably I'd get, "No, you're not." And I'd say, "Uh, well, I was just pointed I think this is group number four." He's like, "I just paid 10 grand for goose gas. Who the are you?" And I was like, "No, this will be." And I I'd have the master card in my bag. So, I'd just wait until like the third or fourth hole after I'd had a birdie or something and helped the

1:26:48 team and I I'd go, "So, you guys don't like theater? You don't get to see a lot of theater?" "Um, well, uh, there are some things money can't buy." And they go, "Oh, get the out of here. It's a master card.

1:27:00 Yes. Yeah. Chichi Rodriguez or whoever I want to play with. Look at Arnette. Arnette like he's been GMZ trucks for like 25 years.

1:27:09 That's incredible. I mean, I'm so jealous. Yeah, that's a Okay, we've arrived at um Jay Kelly.

1:27:17 Let's talk about Jay Kelly. Amazing. Um also, we've had Reese and Jennifer. You're the third morning.

1:27:23 I can almost not do any more mornings show. We just Yeah, we've had almost the whole cast. And by the way, another blessing getting that part. I mean, that was just uh that that was great. Good luck. And so uh another one I'm grateful for. We fun season this season. So, hope you're tuning in to the morning show.

1:27:41 Yes. So, everyone check that out. That's still airing on Apple Plus right now. I don't think we've reached the end of the season.

1:27:47 Yeah. Uh you're stellar on that, of course. Thank you, J Kelly. I'm just reading Hermes bag. I looked up those. wanted it to be real. That's what a bag cost 385.

1:27:57 38,000. Not all of them. I mean, I don't have one. The one I looked up was That seems like

1:28:04 That's tough. That's tough. A lot. Really? Okay, let's talk about Jay Kelly. So, Jay Kelly. Noah Bombach.

1:28:11 Yeah, we love Noah Bombach. Yeah. Terrific director. Squid and the Whales. The first thing I saw

1:28:17 amazing kicking and screaming back in the day. Yeah. Um, and I, you know, he he's made so many good movies and has been such a consistent filmmaker and such an interesting filmmaker for a long period of time. It's

1:28:34 very hard to do. I think, you know, if you make one good movie as a director, like a good movie, Yeah.

1:28:41 you're probably a really, really good director. If you make two good movies, you're probably one of the better directors of your generation. If you make three good movies, you're freaking great. You're ready for the history books. You're great. And even if you look at the they're really hard. People underestimate hurting cats, you know, and it is

1:29:03 especially if it's something that you have written and then you've got your own guts in there on the paper and that's a hard thing to sustain.

1:29:11 Yes. And Noah has done that uh for a long period of time. And this was it was a beautiful script about uh a movie star George Clooney. George Clooney perfectly cast

1:29:25 uh in the sort of twilight of his career looking back back to your earlier question saying was it worth it or what did I do wrong or what did I do right? And he's got uh two grown children.

1:29:37 The last is leaving. Is that what the last one is leaving? Exactly. and he starts to have a bit of um existential crisis. Yeah. And uh immediately like narratively in the film his mentor dies. So he ends up at a memorial uh for his mentor and all of a sudden his north star is gone and his children are sort of out of the picture and one of his former acting school friends uh and roommate is at the memorial as well and they haven't seen each other in a long time and so um Jay Kelly George is feeling like nostalgic and he's like hey man you want to go get a beer? And so the character I play is his acting school buddy and we go get a beer. We start to bond about, you know, like, oh, who's still working?

1:30:29 And and basically nobody is working still. One of them does voiceovers from that class. And but Jay's the one who took off and just kept flying. But it turns out the character I play is holding on to some things. And um George's character, Noah, built into it a little bit of a a narrative trick where George's character says to my character, "Um, oh, you were always the one we looked up to. You were the great actor in the class. I mean, I could watch you do anything. I could watch you read the menu." And so then that's what the character has to do in a way that is um impactful. And so

1:31:09 the way that Noah had written it, he was describing a kind of like method acting. That is not the way that I work. And the way that I work is like I was saying before, storytelling. I just want to try to tell the story that the writer has written and that the director is trying to compose in a way that makes the audience become involved. I don't um I I don't try to manifest emotion. If emotion comes in the playing of a scene, I'm not afraid of it. But the scene is not exactly. So the aim is to accomplish the story, the event of the scene. Why is the scene in the movie? Why is the scene in the play? All right, let's make sure that the three of us as actors collude to make sure that event happens.

1:31:53 And then whatever happens in between, you're listening to each other and then you have something that is creatively novel because you're all trying to be witness to it at the same time. And this one is saying, "No, this event has to happen." I kept telling him, "No, I'm not sure that I know how to do that." Um, and I I told him, I said, "I I'll tell you the way that I work, and I think it could work in the same way." Um,

1:32:16 he and I describe it exactly the way that I did now, which is kind of long, you know, this is one scene in the movie, you know, and he's listening very patiently to me. And I was actually in London doing a play at the time and they were shooting part of it in London. So on the day off, I was going to go and do this scene and I kept writing to him saying, you know, what if it's kind of like this? And he'd listen and say, "Oh, that's an interesting idea." And then I'd come in for rehearsal, me and George and Noah rehearsed and and George is like, "Yeah, I hear you're going to try some new things out." And I was like, "Yeah." And you know, we wouldn't quite get to them. And I was noticing that the script wasn't changing. And like two weeks before I was like, "Gez, I better figure out some method shit."

1:33:01 Uh, so I I did a quick and deep dive into whatever I could in their um repertoire. And you know, during the during the day's work, I said to Noah and George, I got no idea how this is going to go. So, I've got a lot of backup plans, but just bear with me if you could.

1:33:21 Is that easy or hard for you to say out loud? It's okay to say now. Yeah, I feel um

1:33:27 I feel m much more because I know that I want to be helpful, you know, that's that's my like

1:33:33 baseline bottom baseline is I don't want to be destructive to it. Yes. So, it doesn't mean I'm not passionate about when I'll have these discussions with the writers. Um, has great writers on Morning Show. Um, Carrie in the first two season, then Charlotte Stout the second two seasons and their whole team. And if something doesn't sound right to me or I feel like it's going down a way that I don't understand, we have big creative discussions. I don't I I don't um um have any problem having that kind of discussion uh if I don't understand the story. This one, you know, was more about accommodating my ability to tell it in a way

1:34:11 like what Noah probably wanted to say is like, I understand you work that way, but the character you're playing doesn't work that way.

1:34:16 Correct. Exactly. And I'm like, but but no, I'm a 57y old actor. I've been doing it for that. The character that I wrote that you're going to come play does it different. Precisely.

1:34:26 Kind of life imitates art a little bit. It was It was It was really great. And to be asked to do something that you don't know how to do is that really that's a big gift, you know, and so um the but the reason why I'm saying all of this is because that's the pretext for George's character to go on a journey of discovery.

1:34:45 So if I don't make that work, him going away dramatururgically doesn't make a whole lot.

1:34:51 Failure to launch, we call it. It's a failure to launch. So it was a really great experience and uh I had known George and wanted to work with George but moreover the stories about George and Adam Sandler and their partnership cuz does Adam play his agent or something?

1:35:11 Plays his agent. Yeah. Yeah. They wouldn't they didn't give us the movie. Normally I would have watched could only watch the trailer. Yeah. So I'm piecing together who Sandler is. Sandler is um his longtime agent and Laura Durn is his publicist and um I mean there is a murderer's row in that cast of great actors and uh Noah the way that he described it he was feeling somewhat disenchanted with movie making after he made a film called White Noise and it just it wasn't received in the way that he imagined it would be received or the story didn't land in the way that he had hoped that it would land and got felt kind of cynical about it And this is sort of like a a beautiful um not necessarily love letter but like um description of the carnival life that we lead you know and it's gilded with you know the George Clooney charm and like and also a beautiful heartfelt performance and I just every part of it

1:36:10 you know I only worked for like three or four days but I'm at every press thing. I love being a part of this crew. There is so much. Oh, you guys want me to show up in Venice short? I'll buy my own ticket, you know, like whatever.

1:36:22 Cover of Esquire magazine. You got it for it now. Now I'll do Oh, that magazine folded. Damn it. Uh I'll do the online version. Uh so yeah, I'm I'm riding their coattails as far as I can. It was a beautiful thing for me to be a part of and uh a really um a gorgeous film that I hope people

1:36:41 when I was talking I talked to Netflix and um also ever like some personal publicist and I was like guys if there is a movie that the armcheries would want to see because you know our listeners we call them armcherries. Um we talk so much about this about like looking back on your life and the things that seem like they're going to be so great aren't necessarily so great. I mean, it's it's so it's so us

1:37:07 and a Cal Callie, my Cali, um has, you know, she obviously saw it a long time ago and was like, "Yeah, it's like it's so good and it's about this." And I was like,

1:37:16 "That's our audience." So, I really encourage Well, that's I mean, I would just expand on that by way of saying I do think that's an American phenomenon in particular, this notion, and we talked about it a bit with our fathers, too, that my great life is about to begin.

1:37:32 Yes. like when is it going to begin? And while you're because it's the land of opportunity and abundance, um you're sure that your gilded life and what better way to describe that than a movie star who we think somehow as a

1:37:48 completely protected, gorgeous life, free from any kind of malady at all. Royalty. Royalty. Exactly. Well protected from the mundane realities of living. And if you are busy looking forward to your future, you miss the life that you're having.

1:38:08 And so I think it's a great metaphor for some kind of American discontent, too.

1:38:16 But it's told in a I mean, I'm I'm taking more of a sociological kind of take on there. The the movie itself is just lovely.

1:38:25 Oh, I had one question. Um, what is it like to work with Tom Cruz? We went on this summer my family did we called it Tom Cruz's cruises and we watched almost the entire cannon.

1:38:37 Oh my gosh. So we watched all eight um Mission Impossibles. Wow. Uh you're in the third one,

1:38:43 correct? You're great. Thank you. And I got so obsessed with him and I This is not my observation. This is Adam Scott's observation. And so and he too is a huge Tom Cruz fan. And I was like I go after doing this summer thing where we watch all of his movies. I mean, you you really forget how insanely good he is in um Rainman. He's like playing someone that's completely not Tom Cruz.

1:39:04 I'll tell you this, I don't forget. He was incredible. Yeah. In that movie, that is a phenomenal performance.

1:39:10 So, I said to Adam Scott, I'm like, "This is going to be a dumb sentence, but like I think Tom Cruz might be the most underrated actor alive."

1:39:16 That's hilarious. Obviously, remember Taps? I think it was Taps. Yes. Yes. always had this rapid intensity that uh is unusual. Yeah.

1:39:27 But what Adam said and I think it's really astute. He said, "I think Tom Cruz's gift as an actor is he is acting solely for the audience sitting in the seat watching this screen and his understanding of what their experience is going to be with that lens on with me at this distance doing this with my eyes that that's his genius." And I was like, I think you're right. I think he has a better idea than anyone's ever had about what this thing I'm doing right now will will be experienced as in one year on that size screen.

1:40:02 I completely believe that. So, um, when you're acting with him, what kind of like things are you observing? Cuz you must be equally fascinated just to get to work with him.

1:40:11 Sure. Yeah. You have to catch yourself a little bit, you know, because does he suck you into the

1:40:15 He's a star, you know, like I could probably just start loving movie stars and you know the

1:40:22 um and he's you know one of them risky business you know with smacked me right during high school there like

1:40:29 Tom Cruz was the man and um well cuz he was a producer on without limits. I had some, you know, superficial um uh interactions and he was always incredibly supportive like Billy, what do you need? We're going to make that happen. Well, let me tell you about that experience and in the way that I think of it, this is this is what's going on there. So, like it really u like a team player. There were two moments that I'm thinking of now. Uh one was because J.J. Abrams made that movie. JJ is a brilliant brilliant man. And um in the in the movie I play somebody with uh duplicitous um motivation. And uh there is one scene in particular where I reveal to Tom Cruz the extent of my duplicity.

1:41:21 And uh it comes in the form of a monologue while he's tied up and been beaten up. And uh I only do well with text if I have time with it. I I can memorize things but not well. Okay.

1:41:38 And I can't perform. I mean anymore, you know. I think everybody who's an actor probably got into the business because they could internalize text. That was the way their brain worked. Otherwise, it's just too intimidating, you know.

1:41:50 So, as you get older, it starts to atrophy a little bit. and uh what was once the special skill is sort of gone. In any case, I had this monologue that I realized too like the Jay Kelly thing was pretty important for the plot of the movie. And uh so JJ when he sent it to me he said um don't memorize it yet because we're working right now and as we're working on the script and they were shooting also while they were working. So, they're working on this scrape down shooting and about two weeks out, I said, "Jay, I that monologue is about a page long, and I want to kill it for you. So, I I I want to start memorizing it now, so I'm just going to go with what I've got." And he goes, "Don't definitely." He raised me back, "Definitely don't." Oh, boy.

1:42:36 Um because we there are some things that the the names are changing and the order is going to, you know, it's in flux right now. a week out. I go, "Dude,

1:42:49 we are like we're this is Defcon 1. I'm in triage mode here. I have to start." And he's like, "It's coming today. 3 days before,

1:42:57 Billy. I can promise you it's the morning we're shooting it in the makeup trailer."

1:43:02 In the trailer, I get the pages. No, this is how I'm recalling it. It may have been the day before, but I believe it was in the trailer.

1:43:08 Cut to Tom tied up. Me off camera reading the text. God, they're shooting his side first. At least first practice. Give me some practice.

1:43:20 Turn around to me. Total panic attack. Melting under pressure. Can't remember anything. This is what Tom Cruz does.

1:43:28 Billy, you ever worked with Qards? And I was like, uh, no, Tom. I have not ever wor We're working with Qards today. Has somebody write up the whole monologue and this is holding the Q card like right here so he can still have an eye on it.

1:43:42 He's still giving you So, he's giving me everything here. WHERE HE'S GOT THE CARD OVER here and I'm doing everything I can to not play the scene like

1:43:52 you really should go after the rabbit's foot u when you would go to uh the Central America that's a bad idea you know like oh my

1:44:01 it is but JJ and Tom are so good that they made it work in the thing but Billy when you go home that night and you lay in your million

1:44:10 oh man well you said you needed it I told him I needed it and and JJ J was like, "No, it was totally fine. We'll make it work and everything.

1:44:18 It's great, but I could have done so much better, Dax. I could have done so much better."

1:44:22 Okay, so that one's a little bit of The Girl Who Got Away. You want a second chance?

1:44:26 Tom saved me on that. And the second was my father died cuz I had about maybe two weeks work on that movie, but it was spread out over several months. And during that month, my my father passed away after he had cancer and stuff. And we had a memorial for him. And then I had to fly to Los Angeles on Monday to work on Monday. And Tom, as he did every day that I was there, came bounding into the makeup trailer. How we doing today?

1:44:53 You know, yeah, we're looking good here. We're on fire. Ready to go. Let's go. Good. Good attitude. Good to see you all. Wonderful people here. So he goes me, how you doing? And in my head, like I start doing all this social calculus. I'm like,

1:45:08 oh, which way do I do this? Yeah. And I said, "Well, actually, Tom, my father passed away, so I was at a memorial over the weekend." Well, if Yeah. You haven't been consoled until you've been consoled by Tom Cruz.

1:45:19 Oh, tell me what happened. Cuz that is right there. Yeah. Like, he came in to the point where I was like, "No, it's totally fine.

1:45:26 I mean, everybody has a dad. They all come and go." What are you going to do, Tom? Terrific. He's built for it. He's fearless, right?

1:45:33 Built for it. Yeah. He's like, "This is awkward for most people, but I'm going. I'm coming right in." Yeah. Sweet.

1:45:40 Yeah, I thought it was. Yeah. Well, Billy, this has been so much fun. I'm smitten with you. As I told you, we got to back time this year over the summer. We did a lot of dancing.

1:45:51 Yes, we did. We did a good two hours of dancing together. Your family are some dancing fiends. Right back at you. A great time with Naomi's got major moves,

1:46:00 man. She I I I uh I I I hope she slows down at a certain point because I try to keep up and I'm like,

1:46:08 "Is it the right arm or the left arm? Which one should I be looking out for?" You were not signaling that at all. You look like you

1:46:14 I like to keep up. Yeah, it was great. Um yeah, I adore you. I think you're magic. I'm so glad you came in. Everybody watched.

1:46:20 Yeah, this was great. Jay Kelly, everyone see Jay Kelly November 11th in theaters. If you don't make it, but you should. It'll be best consumed there. should

1:46:29 December 5th. I'll tell you why it should be seen in the theater. Because there's a tribute to Jay Kelly in the movie. Jay Kelly is attending a tribute to himself. And in that they use George Clooney footage.

1:46:44 Oh, fine. Real footage. Spoiler alert. But it is worth staying to the bitter end in the theater

1:46:51 or uh if nothing else, I you're going to have a great time in the movie. But uh where wherever you see the movie, whenever you see the movie, but in the theater, it's it's pretty awesome. Yeah. Awesome. I hope everyone checks it out. Um and please come back.

1:47:04 Absolutely. Will. Thank you guys for having me. This has been a pleasure. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. He wears short shorts. If you dare wear short shorts, n wears short shorts. I don't get that if I'm being honest because N doesn't wear short shorts.

1:47:29 Well, in this case, N does wear short shorts in the commercial. I know, but doesn't make sense.

1:47:33 I know. N can't wear shorts. Yeah. Is there like a little pair of tiny shorts on the N bottle?

1:47:39 Let's think about this. If you dare wear short shorts Uhhuh. nare Maybe they're using wear like a verb or or not a verb, but

1:47:48 like never. No, like um nare like that's a new term. That's like You nared it, which is which is no hair.

1:47:57 Yeah, narew wear means no hair on your head. Oh, why am I wearing headphones? Oh, yeah. You just wanted to.

1:48:07 Well, we were just doing We were doing armchair anonymous and then I got used to it. So, that's crazy.

1:48:13 You still can if you want. I was like, what? You sound really loud in this fact check. I was like, because I'm no longer hearing you in my ears the way I used to.

1:48:20 Exactly. We have this dist between us. You're at the distal end of this conversation.

1:48:26 Um, okay. First things first, I have a huge question to ask you. Oh my god, I love huge questions.

1:48:32 Do you eat the skin of the baked potato? You know, I did it when I was a kid and now I love it. Especially if it's a little crispy.

1:48:42 So, you like cut the whole baked potato? You eat bites that have skin? I usually eat the Oregon meat out of it.

1:48:51 Okay. you know, eat the inside. Yeah. And then I cut up the remaining uh skin. Okay.

1:48:56 Again, if it's crispy, I I prefer that. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes it's damp.

1:49:01 Yep. And then it's just like you're eating like damp bark. Yeah. You're eating um brown paper bag

1:49:06 that was sitting in dirt. You're eating dirt. That's why it's that color. I think they're white on their own. You scrub them, they're white.

1:49:12 Maybe certain ones. Not rustle. I don't think Russet. They're brown. What made you think of this? Did you have a baked potato last night?

1:49:18 Not last night. And do you call it a baked potato or a baked potato? I call it a baked potato.

1:49:23 Well, you're you're portraying your southern roots. I know. I'm treading very carefully.

1:49:28 Why? Cuz you hate when I claim southernness appropriately. Yeah. Well, you don't have southern roots.

1:49:35 Well, I am I am a southerner. I You have a house in the south. I live in the south.

1:49:40 I will say you have a house in the south. A house in the south. House in the south. Um, listen. I was at a restaurant and a baked potato was bought by Jess.

1:49:51 It was a twice baked. So I don't know if that guarantees crispiness, right? Should Okay. Yeah. So I see him cut this potato.

1:50:04 Mhm. And eat it like a um a steak. Yeah. And I was shook. I was like mortified. What are you doing?

1:50:16 Right. Like he was a psychopath. Yeah. Like you are not That's not what baked potatoes are. It's to eat the That's just the vessel for the inside.

1:50:23 It's the wrapper. It's the wrapper. Exactly. It's like if you ate an orange by cutting it and taking bites. It's like, no, no, no. You're not supposed to eat that peel.

1:50:35 I mean, that's a little more harsh, but cuz there's no version of an orange peel tasting good, and there certainly is a version of a potato soup. So this is why I wanted to ask you because he he was like you don't eat that and he was like you don't eat potato skins and then that was an interesting point cuz I was like oh I mean I I have eaten potato skins but not like this not

1:51:01 I love potato skins. I haven't had them in so long. I would go like this. Slice slice slice slice slice slice slice.

1:51:07 You would take that that knife is scary. Okay. So like, oh my god, I thought maybe stick in really cool would have been it.

1:51:16 You're acting willy-nilly. Listen, so I wanted to put this out there. I was like, I got to ask Dax's opinion on this. And there's a high chance that he too,

1:51:27 but I don't do it like him. And I think that's cool. He does it like that. He's mixing

1:51:31 textures. It's like fullbodied for him. It's super nuts. It It is. He's He said he mentioned the crispiness a lot. Like you have now mentioned crispiness. It's imperative.

1:51:42 I just am I I'm just shocked. I never I have never been exposed to anyone eating the outside of the baked potato. Yeah.

1:51:51 Ever? Yeah. That's why like No, I think when we were at Brick Tops, I want to say I took down a a baked potato and then I did eat the skin.

1:51:59 You did? Yeah. I think I thought that was the way you ate it. I think it is the majority of people eat it that way, but I don't think I think that's 7030, Rob. Uh, I don't eat the skin, but it wouldn't freak me out if I saw someone eat it. So, somewhere in the middle of us, which is generally his chosen safe path, I think, through these minefields.

1:52:23 I I just didn't even know it was an option. Well, are you trying blown open? Well, are you open to trying it?

1:52:31 Yeah, they're good. I mean, again, potato he had a great counter. Potato skins are fantastic. Yeah, I guess I'm open to trying it, but I too have this idea that it's a paper bag.

1:52:43 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh now, do you eat at Lil Dom's ever? Yeah. Okay. So, we we almost never eat there cuz I'm always freaked out that there's a line.

1:52:50 Oh, sure. But we happen to be in the mood to go out to eat two nights ago. We were in a rush and it was 5:30.

1:52:57 So, that's a great time to hit a restaurant. Side note, there were three birthdays in a row and the whole restaurant sang for all three. It was so fun. went in Italy.

1:53:06 I was there on Friday, two nights ago. Tuesday. Tuesday night. So, you've eaten there. They do a whole baby potato and they're smashed and cooked. Those are incredible. And those have the skin on them.

1:53:17 They do. So, I said I said it's not that I'm against eating the skin on a potato. I've had the red potato. You'd always eat the skin.

1:53:25 I've had plenty of skins on potatoes. It's specifically the baked potato. But how about a um when you eat a eat a bread bowl,

1:53:33 right, the soup? Do you eat the bread? So, cuz I think that's the best comp. I eat the a lot of the bread inside the bowl

1:53:43 cuz I the bread. You leave the husk. I do. Every now and then I'll peel off like a little bite and stick it in. But no, I'm not

1:53:51 I miss a bread bowl like crazy. We can get you a gluten-free one. I don't think so. Gluten-free bread in general is pretty

1:53:59 It's tough. Now, what's so interesting is like Kristen has now taken a stab at at gluten-free sourdough bread.

1:54:06 God bless her. She's worked very, very hard. There's been like nine or 10 batches.

1:54:10 They're never really comparable in any way to sourdough bread. Okay. Yet, she makes gluten-free waffles that are kind of sourdough with the starter.

1:54:20 Those are dynamite. Yeah. Those might be the best gluten-free, you know, alternative in the bread space. They've also really nailed pizza.

1:54:30 Yeah, they have figured out pizza. Yeah, sometimes I even choose gluten-free crust at

1:54:36 Lucifer. Thank you for calling Lucifer. It's been a long time. Can we hear about your day yesterday? Are we allowed to hear about it?

1:54:43 Sure. Sure. My first filming day in I think five and a half years. Yeah. How was it?

1:54:47 Well, it was great in that I accomplished my goal. Okay. which is in the morning when I meditated. I really was really thoughtful and mindful. I was like, I just want to go today and not have any power struggles. I want to be a joy to be around and I want to service the director and in this case the star.

1:55:12 Yeah. And the project. And um and I did that. Good. And I felt really good about it

1:55:18 cuz I filmed my cockals coming. It was like 6:30. I got to be on set at 6:30. I was like, that feels early. And I look at the call time, it's like 8. Why am I there an hour?

1:55:27 And I was like, and shut the up and show up at 6:30. And then I went into the wardrobe fitting.

1:55:33 Yeah. And um the costumeumer was an armchair. A which made me so happy right away. That was lovely. And then I had a a I forget how fun it is to order breakfast on set.

1:55:46 That is fun. What'd you order? Um I they I said, "Do they have gluten-free bread?" Ding, ding, ding.

1:55:51 Waffles. No. Do you have I said, "Do you have gluten-free waffles with a sourdough starter

1:55:55 that my wife makes?" And uh they did. And then so I had a a fried egg sandwich with bacon and cheese and mayonnaise. It was outrageous.

1:56:06 And I ended up going with my gold tooth. You know, I had two different options, a grill, a grill and gold tooth. I went with the gold tooth. People liked that. That was great.

1:56:15 Great. And I see you're not wearing it right now. I'm not. Well, now then I've now I'm in a tricky sitch.

1:56:21 Oh, which is now that tooth is for that. Uhhuh. So now I don't want to be all around town and on the show and stuff and you see it non-stop and then when you see that it's not like a oh that that's a thing. So I kind of I that up until the whole project's over.

1:56:35 Okay. Which is the long time from now like I think March. Okay. Interesting. So I do want to say that I did notice in a recent edit, this edit actually, you were touching it a lot. Yeah, I did not touch it at all in my scene.

1:56:53 No, I know that. I'm just saying I think like maybe subconsciously. Oh, yeah, of course. Because there's something weird in your mouth.

1:56:59 Yeah. And I was like, can it all? Yeah. You're just like checking it. It always feels like it could be popped in just a tiny a hair more.

1:57:06 Right. This is what And if you watch parenthood, it's a mess. Like you Oh, no. Not Parenthood. Little bit there and then bless this mess. Since I've never worn a wedding ring in real life, when I have a wedding ring on, I just touch it nonstop. I can't not because it's this foreign thing. It's so clear I'm not used to having a ring. That's why I'm a bad actor.

1:57:27 You'll see some of my bad acting when I just come out when you have rings. But in my defense, I do see some guys playing with their wedding ring a lot. It is a thing. It's a fidget spinner.

1:57:35 I do think when they first get it, there's a lot of that. I do think over time it becomes second skin.

1:57:41 You know what's great about Aaron? He's pretty clever. What? He gets 10 packs. His wedding ring has these like rubber rings.

1:57:48 Oh. And he like knows he's going to lose them and he plays with them and just he has a bunch of He has a ton of wedding rings on his nightstand.

1:57:55 That doesn't sound like a wedding ring. That just sounds like a regular ring. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. Okay, that brings us to something fun. Um, and this is maybe unethical.

1:58:18 Uh, oh, okay. If it goes sideways, I guess by the time this comes out, we'll know.

1:58:22 Okay. So, I very much want Christmas lights down in Nashville. Oh, yeah. I want it to be like a spectacle.

1:58:29 Yeah. And um I got a bid and it was it was insane. It was offensive. Yeah, it was I can't help but be offended. cannot imagine that was the price that non-acctors would have received.

1:58:41 Okay. You think it's personal? I do. I do. I do. Um I'm like, what is this place going to be like the North Pole for this price?

1:58:49 That's what you want. Let's just put it this way. I said, "Well, I'm sure for three grand Aaron would be happy to go down there for a week and string lights up."

1:58:58 So, it was three grand. Oh, no. It was 30 17,000 to put I was like, "Are you kidding? That's offensive. Yeah, I I don't know that.

1:59:09 In my mind, I'm going to overpay Aaron three grand to do it. Like, let's just put it this way. I said to Aaron, "Hey, you want to go decorate the house for three grand?" He's like, "Fuck yes." I'd have to drive Uber for, you know, two weeks or three weeks or whatever.

1:59:21 Hold on. Let's not I just I'm serious. Oh, man. You keep doing this. This is what This is what happened on race to 270. You end up cost me four times what I said the prize money would be. deserve what they deserve.

1:59:38 Well, there's two. Okay. There's a lot of issues. You're saying five because the bid was 17.

1:59:44 I'm not actually. I'm not actually. Okay. I think that's actually a hard job. I think that's a

1:59:50 I don't think so. I've strung Christmas lights on my houses for the last I'll, you know, do it here.

1:59:55 I know. But you get like about it. It's a day at best. It's a day. So, anyone in America is making three grand for the day. I think that's a damn good way.

2:00:06 We are making way more than Don't talk about what I make. We're talking about that. This is a very

2:00:12 I'm just saying if we're gonna use that as like a daily I can't believe I'm getting shamed into five grand for a day of hanging lights. Also, he's going to be hanging in Nashville driving my around having a blast. Motorcycles. It's a fun time.

2:00:26 I need you to separate. Very excited. Okay, I'm I guess I'll pay him the extra two

2:00:32 now. It did. I am. So I I was like, "Hey, do you want to do you want to go down to Nashville and do this for three grand?" He was like, "Absolutely." You know, let me find a couple days and all. So, and then a flight. I had to buy plane.

2:00:44 Listen, that's not part of it. That's not part of it. It's his It's his work. You're going to have me up to like 18 grand all in. I should just hired the professional company there. Probably look a lot better.

2:00:56 Well, that's the thing. How good is it going to look? I I have very low expectations. I want to be colorful. If he overdelivers, great. But I'm not expecting him to do a great job.

2:01:04 He has to get on ladders and stuff like There we're at There we are. You're at the You're at the heart of the issue. Yeah. Now, let's go back in time. Aaron was a roofer for 15 years.

2:01:15 He lived on a 30-foot ladder. Yeah. So, if there's any guy for the job in that department, it is Aaron. He's lived on a ladder.

2:01:22 Um, I'll poke a hole in that in a minute. You're I'm going to get you there. I'm going to poke the same.

2:01:28 Okay, great. So, I'm just like He said yes. I've said great. I've bought a plane ticket and a couple days goes by and I'm just like if he falls like if he

2:01:37 I know we had such a laugh about this. I called him. I facetimed him. I'm like I'm starting to get a little worried that you're going to fall off a ladder and die while you're put and I I don't want Christmas lights that bad.

2:01:47 So please like if you got to rent a bucket or whatever. He's like I think I you know like the little machine you drive and it's got an arm on it. You sit in the bucket and it's got a remote control. He's like, "I'm way more afraid to be driving a bucket around through your yard and tipping the thing over on the sidewalk or some shit." And I'm like, "That's kind of a good point."

2:02:04 But we were saying, we had such a laugh. We were saying that at the eulogy, I I would be giving the eulogy. That's okay. This is our sense of humor.

2:02:11 I know, but I don't want I said at the eulogy, I would say some people have suggested that I may have saved Aaron's life by sending them to treatment. I don't know about that. But what I know for sure is that I have killed Aaron Weekly. killed my best friend cuz I wanted Christmas lights.

2:02:28 So listen, we had a long talk and I'm like "Look it looks dicey. I don't give a They don't have to be up that height." And then we were joking. What if he just put them all on bottom bottom be the first step? We just go there. They're all laying around the bottom of the like the pants fell down of the decorations.

2:02:45 But we had a long talk and we had uh we have some safety measures in in place. I don't want him to go

2:02:51 I want him to wear a life alert medi alert bracelet so if he does fall off the letter he can hit a button.

2:02:57 I don't like it. Oh my god. He can handle decorating a house. He's very competent.

2:03:02 He's extremely competent. But look. Do you think I could go decorate the house? Would you be worried about me?

2:03:06 I don't like that either. I don't I wish I would like you to farm this out to a professional because that house is big and there are a lot of houses. It's huge. I'm not doing that. It's a huge house and it has it has high areas.

2:03:24 One high area. Also, is it going to be on the boat area? What's that called? The dog.

2:03:30 The dog. Yeah. No, I'm not going to have him decorate the dog. Well, that's cute. I bet the other people would do that.

2:03:36 Well, another side note to this is I don't want him to have to go get all of the um lights.

2:03:42 Yeah. So, I have been ordering lights ahead of time that are getting delivered there.

2:03:46 Sure. So, I ordered a ton of lights. So, is this is the original bid that thing? Did that come with the lights?

2:03:54 I should hope so, right? I assume it does. I would hope so. Um, but again, I went for broke. You can't spend $1,000 on lights. Your whole place, they're they're so cheap,

2:04:07 right? So, anyways, I ordered like 11 strands, probably probably like 1,200 ft of this one kind,

2:04:12 okay, that Kristen liked cuz you can make you can change the colors. And then I was like, I want those kind that like rain down.

2:04:18 You like icicles. Yeah. And they're not because there are icicles that are like hard plastic. These are like little ropey, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. Aaron calls them that, too.

2:04:27 Yeah. That wasn't the name on Amazon. But anyways, I had already ordered all these ones. And then I changed my mind.

2:04:33 Oh. And I'm like, well, he's got to decorate trees and too, if he if he wants. He's like, he's going for a week. It's like a

2:04:40 Yes. Okay. So I then ordered like 1300 I ordered a quarter mile of the kind that I like

2:04:49 the icicles. Yes, the icicles. Okay. There are so many when he arrives there's going to be so I bet it'll take him one day to unwind all the lights.

2:04:58 You're more to my point. This this job has gotten enormous. Okay, I'll give him five grand.

2:05:05 Okay. Also should never brought this up. A $2,000 mistake. Listen. Yeah. Uh, just because he was a roofer,

2:05:12 Yeah. doesn't mean he's still capable in the same way. Because listen, I just went to play Maong at Anthony and Allison's house

2:05:23 and they have a young daughter. She was excited to show me she's been working on splits and she wanted to do a split contest. And

2:05:29 that's part of Maine. No, the daughter. No, but with splits. Splits. Oh, do the physical splits.

2:05:37 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like we're hanging out with the kids before we play majouncing around from topic to topic. He was like ma

2:05:44 was it clear Rob? No. Yes it was. God he can't. Okay. So you know she's like yay Monica's here. And then and I made that part up but like in her head she was

2:05:58 OH MY GOD MY ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. MONICA'S HERE. They do get excited when friends are over. that wish on that falling star worked.

2:06:08 So Alison told her daughter, "You know, Monica is going to really love seeing your splits because she used to do splits all the time and she was a cheerleader." She was really bragging about me, you know,

2:06:21 of course building you up. Yes. You're a legend now. And they were all very impressed by this.

2:06:27 Yeah. Yeah. And I and and she was like, "Can I see?" And I was like, well, first of all, I'm not in the right attire. And second of all, I can't do them anymore. Not even close.

2:06:38 Right. You got to maintain that. Just because I was once a huge professional Mhm.

2:06:44 doesn't mean I can still perform in the same way. Okay. Counterpoint. Are you ready for it?

2:06:49 Yeah. When Aaron was a roofer, he had two bundles on his shoulders all the time. He was a drunk. He was smoking cigarettes while he climbed the ladder. Yeah,

2:07:00 he was hung over or even drunk. Yeah. And uh he was heavier. So, in many ways, you'd be more safe to assume he'll be much better on the ladder now than he's ever been.

2:07:12 No, but he's not in the routine of doing it. It's It's I've had him run drills. He's been climbing the ladder all week.

2:07:18 No, you haven't. I leave that up to him. Look, here's here's what At the end of the day, I would trust myself to put the lights up, and I have the same faith in him that I have in myself. Can he wear a helmet?

2:07:31 Oh my god. Please, can you wear I was thinking I wish there was a way for him to tie in.

2:07:39 Yeah. You know, like some climbing gear. I know. I'll give him $500 extra if he wears a helmet.

2:07:48 Well, text him. Tell him that. Or I'll Yeah. Well, I'll text him. I need So I need Yeah,

2:07:54 this is getting crazy. What if he goes, "I'm just not coming. This is You guys have now scared me." He's like, I was just going to go hang lights, which I do have my He already did his own house this year.

2:08:02 I'll give him $50 for football pads. Okay. Get the arm chairs involved and see if they'll sponsor. But he's like he looks like he's a goalie for a hockey team and he just falls off the ladder cuz he's got too much on safety glasses and gloves.

2:08:18 I mean, the numbers really getting up there. I think it's I'm happy for that. Yeah. So, that's what's um that's what's brewing.

2:08:26 Are you going to do this house? It's done. Isn't it under? So, you aren't doing it.

2:08:33 No, we Kristen did hire someone. Exactly. You didn't put lights up here. So, we don't know if you're still capable

2:08:42 this year. I did this year. That's what I mean. This year this year, you're both 50. Things change.

2:08:47 We're both in better shape though than we It's nothing to do with that. It's equilibrium.

2:08:51 Well, mine's great cuz I do so many, you know, I do my bicycling. But Aaron doesn't. He plays pickle ball all day long. He's as agile and and and his is his his balance is

2:09:02 Okay, I'm going to give you $3,000 to not have Aaron. This is getting very complex.

2:09:09 We're going to have to bring an accountant in. And someone's already mad at me, rightly so. Someone's already in their car going, "You're going to spend three grand on your Christmas lights."

2:09:21 I know. Like I that's what I make in a month. So already I know. And that's understandable.

2:09:26 Yes, that's understandable. Absolutely. That made me excited for Christmas. I love that. Now, I have another question for you real quick.

2:09:32 Okay. You know how I had two twice I've had these pierced ear infections that had turned rancid?

2:09:39 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Both times. Yeah. Do you think I could try it on the other ear? cuz they were both on this ear and maybe this ear just has the sensitivity.

2:09:54 You're going to hate this answer. But if you do it and your ear falls off, I'm simply not going to feel bad for you because you have been taught this lesson twice painfully and if you have to learn it a third time.

2:10:08 How many rock bottoms did you have? Okay, but no one was in support of it. No one was like encouraging me to hit another bottom.

2:10:14 But we're compassionate. Okay, so you you uh if you have one ear. Yeah, you better.

2:10:20 Thank god it'll be the right side that you're not getting shot on. No, this one it would be it falling off,

2:10:25 right? And the camera's here. Oh. Oh. Oh, sure. If you're picking an ear to lose, that is the correct ear to lose.

2:10:31 And you can shave that side of your head too. Oh, and then it's just smooth. The whole thing's so smooth. There's

2:10:36 a whole ear hole. Shave sides in an ear hole. Okay. So, you think no. I think no. I think I think you learned your I think your ears said to you, "Hey, Monica, we don't want these up there."

2:10:47 I know. But you're So you think it's going to change the whole day. I do. Can't you do like clampy ones?

2:10:54 Yeah. So, this is the problem. So, I have a cuff. Cuff we call it. We call it a cuff. But all the c I keep buying cuffs.

2:11:03 If you dare wear ear cuffs, cuffs wear ear hairs. So, I I keep buying cuffs. Okay. And they're all my ears small. Yeah.

2:11:14 So they're always a little too big and so they're fall. They're not sitting where they need to sit on my ear.

2:11:20 You pinch them. I try. It's they're nice cuffs. Like you can't You use pliers. Pliers.

2:11:27 Monica. Here's what you do. You get pliers. But before you get to pinching Yeah.

2:11:32 Put some duct tape on the inside of both the pliers so that they don't leave creases or marks on your earrings. So, just put tape around the pliers and then just give him a pinch.

2:11:42 I don't know how to You don't know how to operate pliers. They're just like scissors.

2:11:46 Activity. Pay Aaron three grand. He'll come and I will. I will. I'll trust him to do that.

2:11:52 Um, going to be so rich at the end of this. I know. So, no, I have tried and like some of them do squeeze, but then it still opens up and then it slides and I'm pissed and

2:12:03 yeah, you know, I'm I'm meant to have some in there permanently for my look. You know, my look is meant for it.

2:12:13 Okay. But my ears are saying no. What if you put a little little piece of two-sided tape on the inside of the cuff

2:12:19 so that it sticks? Yeah. Sounds cumbersome. It sounds uncomf. could get irritated as well.

2:12:27 Yeah. And I do think like, okay, so I have two I have, you know, two piercings here and I have two ears currently. Mhm.

2:12:36 Um, and I have had two piercings for a long time and then I have a third piercing. And the other day I put three earrings on one side

2:12:47 and I could not get the uh earring into the third hole on my right side. It would You didn't try hard enough?

2:12:55 No, I did. Cuz Lincoln puts the earring in my ear and that hole was closed for 25 years.

2:13:01 Yeah. But I don't know what to tell you. You want her to put it in? Sure. Sure. I

2:13:04 It's only a gram for her cuz she's a minor. You can try it. Um, no, I can tell like on this side I was basically re I was reiercing it and it whatever. That was fine. And then I was trying so hard to reierce on this side, but I think because the holes a little close to the edge, it was not working.

2:13:21 And that's fine, you know, whatever. And then that night I took out all the piercings and and other than just my original piercing. Everything was so inflamed.

2:13:35 Money. You can't you can't it's not an option for you. You have a lot of gifts and of course you're going to have some not gifts. And in this case it's that you don't have that freedom to

2:13:46 I'm not willing to live a life where I can't have two. Well, then you're just going to be impusted and inflamed and in and

2:13:52 I know. Okay. I'm just telling you like you're just warning me. Yeah. That if you see some goo like I'm choosing that.

2:14:00 Yeah. Okay. But you're saying no to the piercings. Okay. Yeah. That's just my vote. I mean, watching the middle.

2:14:07 You better not. You should do it. Okay. Natalie has ear issues with her piercings, too. So,

2:14:16 and you you enjoy dealing with those? I know not to talk about it. Talk about it.

2:14:23 Farmer is wiser than me. He's more like a 70-year-old grandpa. He learned to shut the up better than me.

2:14:28 But you also, to be fair, have had to cut the earrings out. Yeah. Which I like.

2:14:34 Yeah. You enjoy that. So, I'm kind of surprised. I'm actually working against my own self-interest here because it denies me the chance to be a hero.

2:14:41 You love performing surgery. I mean, a hero. Hero. Yeah. Do you need me to nare anything? Oh, I'm good.

2:14:48 Your arms or anything? Oh, I do. Okay. Do you want me to narrow your naring? But I am gonna do a laser hair.

2:14:54 Okay. On that hair. I had a hair on my bum. All right. Well, I guess let's do some facts. I have other things to say, but we'll be back.

2:15:01 We'll be back. All right. Now, we start the episode off by talking about pumpkin spice.

2:15:07 Oh, sure. And I'm here to tell you what's in pumpkin spice. Okay. Perfume. Nope.

2:15:11 Okay. typically includes cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, and cloves. Delicious.

2:15:19 Okay, but Monty, don't you think that's the taste that you're tasting? I don't think pumpkin is real. I don't think it's in the mix. I think what you're tasting is like that combination of those very unique flavors we've labeled pumpkin flavor. I don't think that's real.

2:15:36 The name can be misleading as it does not contain pumpkin itself. Oh wow. I didn't even That was the last

2:15:43 commonly used to flavor pumpkin based desserts and drinks. I think that's what everyone thinks pumpkin tastes like.

2:15:50 If you just take the inside of a pumpkin, you add that those spices in. What you're tasting and what you come back for.

2:15:59 Yeah. is that the the the pumpkin is just like a a vehicle and I'd argue a poor one for delivering this incredible alchemy of tastes.

2:16:09 Wow. And perfumes. But you know, it's a little like rest assured, there's no pumpkin in your pumpkin spice latte.

2:16:16 There's pumpkin spice. But that's not There's no pumpkin in it. You're right. Yeah, that was a cute mashup.

2:16:23 Oh, yeah. Pumpkin. There was a pumpkin. A little baby. A CC little baby. She looks so cute.

2:16:33 She had a radical mohawk. Yeah, cuz her dad's a hair stylist, so he did her hair perfect. And it Oh my god, was she cute.

2:16:41 It's outrageous. Um Okay. Okay. But so when you buy pumpkin spice, the little container that says pumpkin spice, this is what you're getting.

2:16:50 You're Yeah. You're not getting any pumpkin. And you could have called it carboncle spice.

2:16:56 No. You know what they should call it? And actually, this is appropriation. I'm gonna say it. Ow. Head.

2:17:05 Oh. Oh. What's in there? Some sort of scab. Oh, scabby. Um, from your hair top,

2:17:19 maybe. Let's hope. Too damp. Too much moisture. Um, I just pictured your room at night like tropical when you're wearing your hair.

2:17:29 Oh my towel. Cuz like it just keeps all that moisture in your hair and it somehow makes the whole room tropical.

2:17:35 I don't sleep in it. Oh, you don't? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I just What do you do? You just dry your hair with it?

2:17:40 No. After the shower, I tie it up, put it in its towel, and I like, you know, bop around for a while.

2:17:48 Uh, hours. Like an hour. Okay. Okay. And then sometimes only 15 minutes. Okay. And then I take it out and then I sleep on a silk pillowcase that night.

2:17:58 Oh, only that night. Yeah. Cuz why? If I if it's wet hair, I sleep with a silk pillowcase because I cuz silk pillowcases are notoriously better for your hair. I don't really necessarily think that.

2:18:12 Might be a pumpkin spice latte thing. Yeah, it might be misleading. Mhm. Um but I buy in when I'm trying to have that hair the next day.

2:18:21 Yeah. Yeah. You might as well do it. It's not going to make it worse. Exactly. Yeah.

2:18:25 Okay. Appropriation because these are all the things in chai. Ahu. Uhhuh. So I feel a little like

2:18:34 just different doses. Yeah. Dosages of those things. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's a grievance.

2:18:41 I'll tell you. I guess if you're if you're talking about appropriation to chai, then yes, I think you have a

2:18:47 an argument. If you're saying appropriating the pumpkin, because there's really no pumpkin, but they're coasting on people's

2:18:54 I'm saying pumpkin spice is appropriating. I got you. I got you. Cuz I was going to say then, well, they're kind of lifting the image of the pumpkin.

2:19:02 Sure. The pumpkin is winning. Yeah, the pumpkin's a big dumb ugly No, it's I love them. But you got to acknowledge they're all love them.

2:19:12 They're not uniform. They're always dented. They always look like they have a tumor somewhere on them.

2:19:17 Yeah. That not the ones I pick. They're an ugly offering. And they're enormous. They have elephantitis.

2:19:25 O yuck. Yuck. Okay. How many tributaries flow into the Amazon? Oh god, there's got to be thousands. 1,100 tributaries with 17 of them being longer than 1,500 km 930 m.

2:19:40 Whoa. Okay. Is Manasset the name of a Native American tribe? That was his guess,

2:19:48 right? Or that it was a Native American word. Yeah. And he's right. Manhasset is named after the Native American word Manhancet, which means island neighborhood. This name comes from a tribe of Native Americans who lived in the area before European settlement and used the nearby bay for fishing and shell fishing.

2:20:10 So then he was right in that Manhattan is also I think you added Manhattan in there maybe and it all sounds right.

2:20:16 He's smarter than me. He was smart. He was very smart. Is Manhasset exit 36 off Long Island? No, he's not smart.

2:20:24 Thank God. Exit 36 on the Long Island Expressway is for Singerton Road. Manhasset is served by nearby exits such as exit 32 for Little Neck Parkway, which is west of Manhasset and further east exits that lead into the area.

2:20:41 The Lie, isn't that what people say? Probably. Okay. How many people are descendants of Charlemagne?

2:20:49 Okay. Okay. It's estimated that nearly everyone in Europe is descended from Charlemagne.

2:20:58 What? And therefore related to him and each other. This is because Charlemagne had at least 20 children who established royal lines. And due to the large number of people in Europe, genealogies fold in on themselves, making it statistically certain that nearly all Europeans share common ancestors like Charlemagne.

2:21:15 Whoa. Whoa. It's not that he as much as Gangaskhan. Doesn't seem like that because now I looked up Genghask Khan.

2:21:24 He had thousands of children. An estimated 16 million people are direct mail male line descendants of Genghask Khan.

2:21:32 Direct, which is about.5% of the world's males population. Wow. This figure is based on studies of the Y chromosome, which is passed from father to son. Millions of other people are likely descended from him through female ancestors, but this cannot be traced genetically using the same method.

2:21:48 So, it's double. It's not like he had only had male offspring. I'm sure he had fitty fitty.

2:21:52 It's insane. Yeah. Do you think I am a descendant of him? No, I don't. Do you think I'm a descendant of Charlemagne?

2:22:01 Nope. I think you're a descendant of Sid Arthur. I'm more likely a descendant of Genghask Khan than Charlemagne. If we had to pick

2:22:10 on its what do they say? Premmaaciacia. What is it? Yeah. Uh perma. Primma. Dubner said that multiple times.

2:22:18 Primmaaccia. Yeah. On the surface that makes sense. But uh they both had empires and I don't know which one spread closer to India or not. Even though I did read the Genghaskhan book which was great.

2:22:31 Maybe I'm a descendant of both Charlemagne and Gangaskhan. Oh, double whammy. Um, secondhand smoke rates. I looked that up for fun. Nothing related to the episode.

2:22:44 Oh, I'm just kidding. Okay, I'm kidding. It came up. According to the CDC, secondhand smoke is responsible for an estimated 41,000 deaths per year in the United States. This includes 7,300 deaths from lung cancer, 33,900 deaths from heart disease, and 400 deaths from sudden infant death syndrome. Yeah, no one likes that last one. That's from living people who live with a smoker, I guess.

2:23:09 Yeah. You shouldn't have to do the time if you don't do the crime. I know. It's sad.

2:23:15 I was uh inundated with secondhand smoke in my childhood. I know. Cuz my father smoked in the car with the windows up. Then my grandparents smoked and I was with them a ton. They both smoked.

2:23:26 How long did your dad smoke? Till the end of his life. He quit smoking I want to say 10 years before he died.

2:23:32 Okay. So, mostly. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and really voluous levels of he would go through these phases like I remember my mom telling me this time when they were newly married and he had started this company selling doortodoor mini bikes and he was like he was all in.

2:23:49 Yeah. And then the company collapsed and they couldn't deliver orders and like he was done. He didn't know what he was going to do. And she said that he sat

2:23:57 in a lazy boy for like two months straight all day long every day and just chain smoked cigarettes. smoked like five packs a day

2:24:05 and then one day woke up and took a shower and put a suit on and went and got a job somewhere else.

2:24:09 Uh but he'd have these Yeah. even when he was uh healthy and sober, he still smoked like

2:24:18 two and a half packs or more a day. That's a lot. As you know, my dad stopped smoking for me.

2:24:25 How How long did he smoke? Smoked a long time cuz in India they smoke a lot. Four years old you started. He started as a baby boy and then

2:24:36 they do in Papa New Guinea. Probably not anymore, but as recently as like 15 years ago,

2:24:41 kids, they wean children from breastfeeding with cigarettes. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

2:24:46 And no lung cancer. Wow. Really? Yeah. Well, on the ethnographies where they did chest x-rays,

2:24:52 there was no lung cancer. That's strange. That's what all these people build their theory on that like it's really the chemicals that are in the American cigarettes, but I I don't agree with that. But that's

2:25:01 where it comes from. Huh. But yeah. Yeah, he smoked a lot and then he he had to quit for his little girl. No pit stops.

2:25:08 Yeah, no pit stops. But uh it took him a couple a couple tries. Yeah. Does he desire it ever? Does he like see it in a movie ever? I kind of want to bang a dart with a joke.

2:25:18 No. Come on. When he's 80 and he's not going to He doesn't want to anymore. No pit stop.

2:25:24 Him and I sitting out on the porch of either his southern home or my southern home banging some camel lights just reminiscing. I think he has like what you have with drinking. Like there's nothing about it that

2:25:36 he doesn't even think about it. Yeah. He switched to to to get off of it. He switched to a pipe.

2:25:44 That's silly. And then he had to get back on he missed it. He had to get back on it. Yeah. No, but I think he got back on the pipe or something and then

2:25:52 then he was done. And you know when we say on the pipe generally in the 80s we're talking about the crack cocaine party.

2:25:57 No, this wasn't like that. Okay. It's just weird for you to say my dad got back on the pipe.

2:26:01 He talks he sometimes talks about his pipe. Okay. Now, UNC, speaking of Southern Homes, um UNC is an incredibly hard school to get in out of state.

2:26:14 Is it? Yes. And I my one of my best friends went there and it was like a big deal.

2:26:19 Sure. Out of state students make up no more than 18% of the first year undergraduate class at UNC Chapel Hill due to its UNCC system policy. M

2:26:28 and then I thought this is interesting. I wanted to look up hardest. Okay. United States public colleges ranked by lowest acceptance rate. But I wanted public colleges.

2:26:38 Okay. I like this. I like this a lot. Fingers crossed. What do you Well, I feel like Berkeley is going to be very high on that list.

2:26:46 And that's what you want? Yeah. I want all the UC's to be high on the list. Yeah. Yeah.

2:26:50 Well, congratulations. UCLA is number one. OH, WOW. I did not see this coming. This

2:26:59 This is a big I'm proud of you for read. If I were you, I would have saw that and be like, I didn't even see that. I'm going to keep going.

2:27:05 I I am a woman of integrity. Number one in the whole country. 9%. Whoa. And but we're out of

2:27:15 Oh, so they've passed Berkeley cuz when I went there it was Berkeley then UCLA.

2:27:19 Yeah. Uh out of state it's not really hard. Yeah. Um, number two is the Naval Academy.

2:27:28 Okay. I'm kind of surprised they count that, but sure. All right. Um, let's throw that out. That's bad.

2:27:34 I don't count that. Berkeley. Number two. Next. Okay. Number two. Then we got Air Force Academy. I also don't

2:27:41 No. Okay. So, what's number three? Then we got Military Academy. No. Okay. Although, we want to say to our uh men and women in the service, obviously, this is very important and we're and we're grateful that so hard.

2:27:52 This is not what we're meaning. state colleges in the civilian world. So, we got we got UCLA.

2:28:00 So far, all we got is UCLA and Berkeley. And Berkeley. And guess what number three is?

2:28:03 Well, you're smiling so big as if it's UG, but I can't. What could it possibly be?

2:28:09 I I would say it's U of M. No, it's not. No, it's Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech. Okay. So, you're feeling some pride.

2:28:16 Yeah, cuz my dad went to Georgia Tech. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, then just to remind people, you did you went to UG, right? You

2:28:26 Oh my god. This weekend I got the cutest vintage Georgia Bulldog shirt. Oh, you did.

2:28:31 It's so cute. I love it. I can't wait to wear it. Okay. Then we got UVA, University of Virginia.

2:28:39 Okay. Then we got University of Michigan. Oh boy. So number five or six once we dump all those militarymies.

2:28:48 Okay. If we're not counting military, we have we have UCLA. Let's just remember the list. UCLA, Berkeley, Georgia Tech, UVA, U of M,

2:28:56 Michigan, number five. Okay. Uh and then UNCC Chapel Hill. Okay. Well, this is a this is a good day for me.

2:29:03 I also don't necessarily trust this because I am absolutely not on board with the next few.

2:29:13 Well, really quick, what's the percentage at U of M and number five? If UCLA was 9% 18, so D twice as hard.

2:29:21 We got some more UC's a little further. You know, this would this would guide my decision on what college I wanted to work at in the admissions department. I would not want to work at UCLA. So, it means you have to sift through

2:29:37 oh, tens of thousands of applications to get down to your 9%. That's too much work. I want to go to a place with like a 78% acceptance rate.

2:29:46 Okay. So that I'm only reading an extra 30ome%. How did you even get into that school if this is the way you think?

2:29:53 I know. A a corner cutter. A short cutter. Yeah. Yeah. UG is on this list. It's on the second page.

2:30:02 Okay. What number is it? It's not It's not Oh, we didn't get a number. We also threw out some other numbers.

2:30:09 Did they just list all the state? No. Okay. a lot more. Okay. Okay. Okay. There's five pages.

2:30:15 Is is is Penn not a public? Penn is private. I think University of Pennsylvania. No.

2:30:21 Private. It's private. That's why it's so expensive. And like Wharton. Okay. H Wharton.

2:30:27 Anyway, that was interesting. Wow. Okay. I feel really good now. That was that felt really good.

2:30:34 Okay. I I'm like I just really resent. I want to be I You're making it so hard. You're making it so hard cuz you are you were a California resident.

2:30:47 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just want to Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

2:30:50 I just want to say that. Yeah. Yeah. And you were a Georgia resident. I regret, you know, only because of this. I deeply regret not applying to some other schools.

2:31:05 Yeah. I only did the one. Yeah. the joy you'd feel right now if you go like, "Well, I turned down you CLA."

2:31:10 Out of state. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know though if that would How dare you. Well, Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica,

2:31:18 we have the exact same IQ to the point. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to let that one just go away.

2:31:27 Um, you want to get into that one? I don't know that I have a higher or lower IQ than you. Mhm.

2:31:36 But what I maintain is that that wasn't an IQ test. That that's just I'm okay. Okay. Our co on our cognitive test on our cognitive test. Yes.

2:31:45 To the point. Yes. Tenth of a point. You can you can be smarter than me. I I'm not saying I am.

2:31:52 I'm just saying it was an IQ test. Okay. Then what was the other thing I was upset about? You made a lot of inflammatory statements. Really

2:32:00 BCLA. Oh, I do know. Okay. Let's hear it. It only and it only got worse. Okay. We would I can answer if you would got in or not because I know what the starting GPA was for freshman

2:32:13 at UCLA. You mean entering freshman? Yes. Okay. I recall that you did have a 4.0, right?

2:32:20 I graduated from Georgia with a not your high school. High school. I didn't have a 40.

2:32:26 You didn't have a 40? No. Okay, great. And so and nor did I. Yeah. But the starting average grade point for a freshman was 4.08.

2:32:35 Yeah. The average person had gotten all A's and did some AP classes and got A's.

2:32:40 Actually, I would I need to go back. I I need to know what my GPA was because I did get I was in a lot of AP classes, so I got a lot of bonus.

2:32:49 Sure. So, I don't really remember, but let's just say let's That's a big thing to assume. That's That means you never ever got a B.

2:33:00 No, I got I got B. Yeah. Yeah. I did not do well in um physics. Okay. Or chemistry.

2:33:10 Okay. I mean, and when I say did not do well, that means B. I never got below a B in anything.

2:33:16 Right. And Jim, how'd you do in gym? I did great. I am a great athlete. Okay. Okay.

2:33:23 I did like 45 pull-ups. Oh, wow. I was so light back then. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I think those were the B's. Physics and chemistry.

2:33:31 Okay. Which is incredible, but I do think it would have ruled you out for admission.

2:33:37 I don't know about that because um you're not ready to admit that. Yeah, I it was probably the average entrance. So, some people got in under that.

2:33:47 And conversely, many people had 4.2s. Yeah. But some people had 3.8s. Yeah. if they had a 2,000 on their SAT or whatever the hell

2:33:58 such thing see 1,800 1600 1,600 okay which I also did not have right okay okay so

2:34:07 but you know what I think my essay would have really been compelling I tell myself that my essay is what got me in

2:34:13 and and I would have got a diversity bump okay now we're talking you got a little little

2:34:21 diversity bump both as an Indian person. Anna's a southern girl. No, you don't get that.

2:34:27 Yeah, you get that. They're not trying to Yeah, they want that. Make sure the people from the south.

2:34:33 I think they want that. Okay. Um maybe southern Indian like Carol, but not southern.

2:34:39 I'm working on with two. You think you have? Okay. Um now Alexander technique. He talked about teacher like a very prominent Alexander technique teacher at UC, excuse me, at NYU. Uh, not on the list because that is a private school.

2:35:00 Mhm. And you can get in with like a 2.3, I think. And the 400 on your SAT. And I I I think it might be Mona Styles because she taught the Alexander technique for decades before her passing in 2020 at the graduate acting program at NYU. I do think he said he. So, you know I'm

2:35:21 I feel like he said he as well. He did. It might be. It might be. We don't need to know. It might be. We don't need to do that.

2:35:29 We don't deal in hypotheticals here. Yeah. Tom Stopppard is Czecha Slovakian. He got that right.

2:35:36 Great. And I guess I should read a Tom Stoppard play. Great plays. I wonder when you when you come over to my new house. Yeah. if you'll be impressed by how smart I am because um I have like so many plays.

2:35:56 Oh wow. Yeah. That I read and studied and you can flip through them and you can see my notes and

2:36:02 they'll be on display in your new house. Yeah. Right now they're like behind the couch. They're hard to see,

2:36:07 but in my house you're going to be able to see them better and I think you're going to have a whole new opinion on whether or not I could get into UCLA.

2:36:15 Okay. All right. TVD. Okay. Um Oh, I can't believe you was number one. That really went my way. That's like a real blessing.

2:36:25 You went to that school. Yeah. As an instate resident. I mean, even worse, you want to keep piling on as a transfer student, which is also

2:36:35 I decided not to say that. Okay. You felt like that was picking punching down. That was a little too much.

2:36:40 Yeah, that's punching down. Well, that's it. All right, Billy. Well, that was lovely.

2:36:46 Uncle baby Billy. Not Uncle Baby Billy, but you know, Billy Crudup. Billy. Uncle baby Billy Crude. All right. Love you.

2:36:54 Love you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Billy Crudup | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

Billy Crudup (Guest), Dak Shepard (Host), Monica Padman (Host), Kristen Bell (Host).

What is discussed in "Billy Crudup | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

In order: 0:00 Dr. Manhattan, Manhattan, Billy Crudup, Amazon; 15:00 Coffee Elite, North Carolina, Dallas, Texas; 30:00 Amazon, North Carolina, Dak Shepard, Alexa Plus; 45:00 Jay Kelly, Netflix, Inc., Kristen Bell, North Carolina; 1:00:00 Brad Pitt, Jason Patrick, Without Limits, Prefontaine; 1:15:00 Jay Kelly, Mastercard, Hermès Birkin bag, Mastercard; 1:30:00 Jay Kelly, Adam Scott, Adam Sandler, George Clooney; 1:45:00 Jay Kelly, George Clooney; 2:00:00 Amazon; 2:15:00 Pumpkin spice, Charllemagne, Charles the Great (Charlemagne), Genghis Khan; 2:30:00 Alexander Technique, Billy Crudup, Mona Styles, Tom Stoppard.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

142 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Billy Crudup, Dak Shepard, Monica Padman, Jay Kelly, George Clooney, Adam Sandler. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Billy Crudup | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

The episode runs 2 h 37 min; the transcript is about 30,292 words in 821 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

• All analyzed episodes
• Books mentioned on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
• People mentioned on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
• Sponsors mentioned on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
• Topics mentioned on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard