Transcript

Holiday Dinner 2025 | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 3 min · 12,892 words · 374 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Holiday Dinner 2025 | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published December 17, 2025 (1 h 3 min, about 12,892 words). It mentions 19 people, works and ideas, including Wobbby, fecal microbiota transplant, WBY Wobb, The Beverly Hillbillies, Sunrise on the Reaping.

What this episode is about

In the holiday special, a lively gathering of close and eccentric friends unfolds around a delicious dinner, where playful banter reveals personal stories and humorous insights into family dynamics during festive gatherings. The hosts engage with fun listener-submitted questions, prompting amusing anecdotes and reflections on past holiday mishaps.

Key takeaways

  • Family brawls at Christmas: Guilt-fueled gift-giving or the real 'festival of lights'? Discuss.
  • Calling your partner 'worm bait': When father-in-law bonding goes from charmed to alarmed.
  • Honeymoon with parents: European elegance meets Beverly Hillbillies chaos. Romance level: extreme.
  • The art of euphemism: When 'colorful' describes family antics more than holiday lights.
  • Misophonia alert: When dinner party chatter hits discordant notes, we all play critics.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Audible, The Beverly Hillbillies, WBY Wobb
  2. – 20:00: Audible, Portugal. The Man, Someday Now, Sunrise on the Reaping
  3. – 30:00: Ken Kennedy, progeria, Wobbby
  4. – 40:00: green card
  5. – 50:00: Aunt Carla, Celsius

Notable quotes from "Holiday Dinner 2025 | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"

  • Thank you to our presenting sponsor Audible, for supporting this episode.
    about Audible · at
  • In, and, out to, even, it, all, out., And, our, our, wife, is here as well. And WBY Wobb who's going to be in and out.
    about WBY Wobb · at
  • The, Beverly, Hillbillies, have, come, for dinner.
    about The Beverly Hillbillies · at
  • Curated list like this, I breathe a little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
    about Sunrise on the Reaping · at
  • Okay,, fine., Portugal, the, man., We, were, in the middle of the interview and I was Oh, my,, he, has, such, nice, he, was kind of meek. I would say he was very.
    about Portugal. The Man · at
  • Wobbby., Well, done., Really, well, done.
    about Wobbby · at
  • We, have, a, tree, baby, once, a, year, and, it ages quickly. Like by the time it, has, progeria.
    about progeria · at
  • But, you, really, give, and, take., You, really make me feel safe. Well, you're you're the female equivalent of Ken Kennedy which is like he does everything right.
    about Ken Kennedy · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Wobbby — Person · 2 mentions · first at
  • WBY Wobb — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Ken Kennedy — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Aunt Carla — Person · 1 mention · first at
    And they go to Dinty up the street and they order it and they go, Shoot, Aunt Carla loves home-cooked meals. Let's just say we made it. And then they plate everything. those girls are on a trajectory where they didn't have the.
  • Ariel — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

  • Sunrise on the Reaping — Book · 1 mention · first at
  • Someday Now — Book · 1 mention · first at
    About. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective.
  • The Hunger Games — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

Products & tech

  • Celsius — Product · 1 mention · first at
    Like I was drinking an espresso right before I went to bed. But and then I drink a Celsius at like two and, I'm, wondering, why, my, sleep, is, not great. So I it's it's just…

Concepts & topics

Places & events

Sponsors

Full transcript with timestamps

Thank you to our presenting sponsor Audible, for supporting this episode. Armcher's Audible's best of 2025 collection is here. The year's top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals across every genre. Their editors spent countless hours listening and debating to handpick this year's must listens. If you want to finish the year with something you know is going to hit check out Audible's best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/bestof2025.

He's, an, observer. So,, welcome, to, our, holiday, special., If you have misophonia, sorry.

Yeah,, this, is, the, wrong, app. This, isn't, the, right, app, for, you., But, we um yeah, we have a delicious meal and we invited some of our um

closest some, of, our, closest, and, most, eccentric friends and our nicest friend.

Yeah., Our, worst, friend, and, our, best friend. Yeah,, exactly. In, and, out to, even, it, all, out., And, our, our, wife, is here as well. And WBY Wobb who's going to be in and out.

And, we'll, let, the, listener, decide, who was the nicest and who was Yeah,, they, need, the, meanest., They, may, be in the comments, you know.

Exactly., And, then, we're, going, to, go through some fun questions that the listeners Yeah. listeners sent questions in that are like fun dinner party questions.

Eric,, your, your, dad's, wonderfully colorful like I'm going to try to use euphemisms and not use the word nuts but was there any in your childhood was there any like big blowups at a family um Christmas gathering? Well, every Christmas, I mean, it would start nice and then, you know, the drinking would come and then it would be like a big sort of blowout. Um, but it was but then it was great for me because I was an only kid and I they'd sort of feel guilty and then I'd get a lot of stuff to make up for it, which was fun.

So,, you're, hoping, he, would, have, a, real embarrassing episode so he'd have to apologize with Gail.

Well, Eric started crying. He never saw this side of him. I, know., Oh,, no., This, stuff, does, hurt. Eric,

that's, what, happens, on, this, show. Yeah. You, know, yeah., You, tell, a, story, that, you, thought was funny for the last 20 years and you tell it, "Wait, that's a terrible story."

Were, you, embarrassed, or, did, you, find, it funny? I, don't, know, if, it, was, embarrassing cuz it was family, so it wasn't like there were third parties there

but, it, was, uh, kind, of, predictable. It was really fun at the same time. It was um it would get a little bit scary I guess.

And, you're, attracted, to, that, a, little bit now as an adult. I, mean,, it, definitely, gave, me, the ability to deal with chaos a lot better than

And, normal, people, and, and, cause, chaos. Can, you, tell, the, 30, secondond, story about you and Molly being on your honeymoon and you bringing your parents along for some of it and then you guys being at an insanely fancy restaurant in Europe in tuxedos?

Oh,, yeah., We, were, at, Via, de, Este Estee, which is a um well-known hotel in Lake Ko.

So,, and, it's, very, European. And so we're uh we're staying there and we're down at the restaurant and I think it was like the night we had checked in and um my parents were already there and they were sitting down and then Molly and I came later and I can tell they were a couple um Manhattans um ahead of us. Not

everyone. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., My, my, mom, was, kind, of giving Molly kind of a look that I knew was going to be dangerous.

And, then, my, dad, would, do, this, thing where he would kind of like um Jose, what are you doing over there Jose? And it was just a And I never figured out who Jose was.

He, was, kind, of, delirious. Well,, it, was, like, a, Yes. Or, was, it, vaguely, um, a, burn, on, her, being Ecuadorian or whatever the hell?

Yeah., Molly's, from, Ecuador. No,, cuz, it, was, pre, Molly., He, was It, was, like, a, um, what's, it, called?, A imaginary friend.

A, bit. So, he, starts, looking, at, Molly., He's like, "You're you're a worm bait. You worm bait."

And, I'm, like,, "Dad,, you, know,, stop, it. You know, this isn't cool. Molly's, you know, just sitting there. She doesn't know what's going on.

Let's, remind, everyone.", I, think, we've really really sped fast the fact that he called her worm bait. Has anyone ever heard that insult before? I had never heard it.

Well,, I, mean,, what's, lower, than, a, worm? That, Well,, that's, how, you, explained, the bait, I guess. Like, the degree of the burn was

Yeah., Savage. It's, really, rough., And, for, the, listener, Molly is our second nicest friend after Molly's the first. She's so nice. Beautiful. Regal and actually hovers above everyone. So the notion that she was wor bait is pretty funny cuz it's almost the opposite.

So, uh, he, keeps, doing, it, and, I, like, look man you you can't do this. You, do, you, you, do, this., Um, I'm, you, know I'm going to hit you.

Oh cuz, you're, not, at, your, best, either., We should add No,, I, mean, I'm, I'm, taking, not, sober, yet.

I'm, taking, pills, and, I, don't, even remember what I was taking at the time. So, we're at this restaurant and all the waiters have their little tuxedos on and it's, you know, very nice and the guests start, you know, carrying on very politely and um so my dad just keeps doing it and so I just decked my dad

and, then, he, decked, me and, then, uh, we, pushed, the,, you, know,, the table over and all, you know, the drinks and everything. be a day.

The, Beverly, Hillbillies, have, come, for dinner. Yeah,, the, Beverly, Hillbillies, have, come for dinner.

Exactly. And, so, we, just, get, on, the, floor, and we're just like wrestling.

Yeah., Hitting, each, other, on, the, on, the ground. I actually have a for some reason I had a video recorder on like on the way home that I still have and it's just like

uh, my, dad, and, I, yelling, at, each, other and my mom yelling something and Molly's crying.

Everyone's, dream, honeymoon. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., Speaking, of getting hit.

Yes, Jess. Oh,, wow. You, got, hit, today. I, was, just, having, lunch, with, the restaurant owners. Um, I walked up. Also funny, she 1 hour before she's like, "Do you mind being filmed? My doc, people are following me around." I'm like "Okay, that's fine. Great. Perfect." So I looked cute.

Walk, up., She's, talking, to, someone., Right when I walk up, camera on. a homeless guy uh in a wheelchair comes straight up um jittery um short little I'm 6'5 looks over at me hey can you buy me a t-shirt over there

and, I, go, what, um, no, man, I'm, so, sorry punches me right in right here in my in my uh elbow

and, that, was, as, high, as, he, could, go, yeah and I didn't flinch okay that, was, my, reaction, just, because, it, was crazy. And then the owner goes, "You got to get out of here, man." And so he rolled a little further and looked at a lady, "Bitch," and called a lady. And then I go, "You got" And then I got a little bit more aggressive and then he rolled away

and, it, was, all, on, video. Yes. At, any, point, did, you, think, this, woman's her reality like her whatever show she's making, this is part of it.

I, know., Like, she, planted, him. Like, what, if, he, got, he, turned, the, corner and then you saw him get out of the wheelchair?

Yes., Because, the, owner, did, say, at, some point um about the homeless guy, he's really tall.

I, go,, how, would, you, know?, He's, in, a [ __ ] wheelchair. That's, true., Oh,, that, was

that, was, Oh,, no., No., This, is, weird. You're, going to, be, in, a, prank mockumentary.

I'm, so, susceptible. You, are., Yesterday, we, talked, about, how susceptible you are. So, makes sense.

But, buy, me, a, shirt., Like,, buy, me, a medium. Like, what? It was so specific that they're like, "Are you all right?" I'm like, "Yes, I forget that I'm 6'5" 220. Like, it just helps sometimes like that. And she would have been at his level.

Monica the, punch., Monica's He, could, have, got, her, in, the, face. Oh,, yeah., Neck., Anything.

You, got, licked,, right?, Did, a, guy, lick your back of your No,, he, just, touched, right., He, just touched the spine of my back.

But, like, in, a, weird, like, this, like, a, put a spell on her. And one other thing before the questions, I think a lot of people the last time they'll have seen you is you didn't have a mustache and so you're in a new phase of your life and I'm curious like how did you come to decide it and then how's it been um playing out?

It's, been, so, good. It, is. It's, been, so enjoying it. Well,, I, worked, at, a, restaurant, for, 26 years and we had to be clean shaven every single day. It's kind of like um you know interview with vampire like she cuts her hair and then it grows back like you you have to look like you did when you get hired. So what however you got hired you have to look like that every day even 26 years later. So um razor burn razor burn shavy shy. So yeah I'm I'm playing with the beard but the beard gets a little gray and white.

Sure. And, this, stays, wet. The, mustache, stays, wet. Yeah., I, got, shamed, a, little, bit, for, the mustache and for Monica in the beginning.

Maybe, it, is, wet. Red. Oh,, still, got, it., Got, it., Got, it. Red., And, I, like, it, a, lot.

I, think, it's, in, now., Maybe, I'm, just seeing it more. I'm seeing more mustaches.

It, looks, handsome, on, you. Thank, you, so, much. When, I, first, got, in, the, car, and, he, had, a mustache. It was like when Delta said, "You're not You don't look like my daddy anymore."

It felt, like, that., I, think, I, did, say,, "Oh, what's going on? Do you are you covering something on your

Oh,, what's, that? But, then, didn't, you, have, like, a, gay, icon on and they said it's a it's it's part of the community and you felt bad.

Yeah,, somebody, told, us, that. I, went, to, a, barber, for, the, first, time two years ago in Florida. So now I actually do that and then they just they trim so that you see my lips still like they do they shave here.

Oh,, you're, going, to, have, that professionally groomed sometimes., Yeah,, sometimes., It's, really nice.

Wow. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor, Audible, for their support. So Audible just dropped their best of 2025 collection, and I got to say, this is one of those things that actually makes your life easier, Monica. Their editors have been doing the heavy lifting. We're talking countless hours of listening heated debates, and the whole thing. They've handpicked the year's top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals across all your favorite genres. And what I love is that they're not just highlighting the giant releases, though those are in there. They've also dug up some real hidden gems, the stuff that might have flown under the radar, but totally deserves your attention. I love a good recommendation. My queue is out of control. So, anytime there's a curated list like this, I breathe a little easier. Two titles I'm excited about. Sunrise on the Reaping. Anything

Hunger Games related is an automatic ad for me. And someday now, which everyone says is incredibly warm and reflective. If you want something solid to close out the year, this is a great place to start. Check out Audible's Best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Go to audible.com/bestof2025.

Seeing your lip is a thing. This just came up. Yes. Oh,, it, is. What?, How, did, it, What, happened?

Dax, had, an, experience, of, passionate aggressive experience. Yeah, I was on set and um I happen to know this older actor from another movie I did 20 years ago. So I know her a little bit and um but I haven't seen her in a decade or more. And I was on set and she came up to me and she got really close to my face and she grabbed my chin and she said, "Listen, I like to see your upper lip. You're not shaving this up high enough. I want to see the outline of your upper lip because that's what we want to see because we like that part.

So, I need you to shave differently. It was very flirty, and, fun and, direct and, I, loved, it., And, I, did, trim differently, which Kristen observed. And then I told her why cuz my new 82year-old lover prefers it that way.

I, do, love, an, like, an, older, woman, who's so come into her own and stopped dealing with

most, insecurities., I, know, they, never, go away, but like just was like, "No, I'm going to tell this young man something.

He, needs, to, hear about, his, face, that, I, feel you,, you, know,, you, would, be, [ __ ], if you

I, so, I, like, so, respect, the, fact, that, she just came up and was like, "Listen to me." She didn't give a [ __ ] Here's some notes

and, I, took, it, to, heart. Yeah., And, I've, seen, men, that, they, chomp on it like, "Eat it." And

yeah,, like, is, it, tick, or, or No,, it, just, has, grown, there, and, then, you they won't know anyone's looking at them. And like Ryan's uncle, even Ryan sometimes gets too long and you kiss him and you're like "You got to cut that back.

Cut, it, back." Jess's, favorite, quality, in, a, person, is that their physical trait is having a top lip that's as big as the bottom lip.

I'm, a, I, love, lips. That's, rare. It's, so, rare. Yeah,, but, so, pouty, and, so that's what you're supposed to do in pictures. I heard the supermodels, they go

Yours, is, close., I, remember, Dax's, bottom lip clearly when we were at the ground together.

It's, asymmetric., My, top, lip, doesn't really The, bottom, lip, was, thick enough.

Yeah, it, got, you, past, the, skinnier, upper, lip. Lips, for, me., Mouths. Mouth.

Top. What's, yours,, Kristen? Like, my, favorite, physical, feature, of someone?

Eyes, for, sure. Eyes cuz, I, feel, like, there's, so, And, it's, not even about the shape cuz there's so many shapes that are pretty. There's so many colors that are pretty or appealing, but there's micro muscles around the eye that tell you a lot about someone, I think, or either invite you in or

windows, to, the, soul. Windows, to, the, soul. Amy,, well,, my, initial, thought, was obviously the butt

but, really, it's, the, eyes., And, she, kind of said it, too. I think about, the, butt.

That's, nice., I, think, there, could, be, two different categories. Like what brings you in? Like what gets your attention first and then like what part are you most pumped about?

Interesting. I, mean, eyes, definitely, like, say, so, much without saying anything, you know.

It's, funny., I'm, not, an, eyes, girl. I, like, eyes. Well,, cuz, you, can't, see,, my, friend., Oh, yeah.

Yeah,, you I, have, bad, eyes. Bad, eyes. Um,, also, arms, are, real, nice., Arms, are like I can visualize even like Ryan's arms back in high school being like those are some nice arms. Yeah. Yep. I know. Arms are mine and hands.

And, hands. I'm, very, into, hands., We, had, a, guest, on. I won't say who it is.

Portugal, the, man. Okay,, fine., Portugal, the, man., We, were, in the middle of the interview and I was like,

"Oh, my,, he, has, such, nice, like, he, was kind of meek. I would say he was very very sweet and he had sort of this like meekensitive." Yes. But his hand said otherwise. They were strong and like big

little, veiny. They, had, some, veins, and, I, was, like,, "Oh, okay." But, I, don't, do, I, It's, not, like, I'm, like, "That's what my penis looks like."

Yeah., I, know, that's, But, it, is. That's, what, a, lot, No,, a, lot, of, people say that.

Yeah., They, measure, it. Yeah., But, I, don't, think, that's, what's happening for me.

Oh,, right., Right., But, you, might, know, on a primitive level even though you don't know.

Maybe., I, don't, know, what, I, know., I, know. Your body knew it. My, body, knew., Eric,, what, about, you?

Well,, one, of, them, is, skin. Uhhuh., Oh, boy., Here, we, go. We're, getting, into, the, controversy immediately.

That's, what, I, noticed, first., I, think for, the, listener,, Eric, is, the, one, that has given me some tough compliments over the years on my skin.

We, I, apologize, for, that. I, mean,, not, feet. Yeah,, I, know., That's, what

Well,, I, think, feet, are, more, like, um because I sold women's shoes for like 10 years and I've saw some gnarly feet some gnarly women's feet.

So,, I, really, appreciate, a, good, foot,, a good woman's foot. You, kind, of, became, a, connoisseur basically.

Yeah., So,, I, I, wouldn't, say, like, I'm, like sexually attracted to feet necessarily. It's more that I could really appreciate a nice pretty little foot.

And, would, ugly, feet, be, a, deal, breaker? Oh,, yeah. Yeah., Okay. I, mean, but, we, could, never, date

if, Molly, was,, you, know,, three, sizes bigger and had some corns and, you know some

bunions. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., We, wouldn't, be married. Rob,, these, cookies, are, so, good.

You, couldn't, pay, me, to, get, within, 10, ft of a nut or a dried fruit in a cookie.

Yeah. And, I, tasted, them, to, be, polite, one, year and they are my absolute favorite. I don't know how he does it.

They're, incredible., My, hair, is, soaking wet. I, know. Mhm., Look, at, the, back, of, my, hair, down.

I've, been, wiping, consistently, this, whole meal. Like an astute person might think "Oh, [ __ ] He's on meth."

But, you'd, have, to, say,, "Look, how, much, he just ate. He's not on meth." Unreal.

Wobbby., Well, done., Really, well, done. And, then, last, thing,, I, just, before, we get into the questions, I have one last question. And is basically I want everyone to tell us out of 10 how much you love Christmas. Like is Christmas your favorite holiday? is Christmas a midlevel. Um I think out of 10, Jess you can use the 100 scale. I know you prefer that.

Jess,, where, where, do, you, put, it?, Don't say 92. No., Why?, No. What, do, you, mean?, Why why, would, you, say 92?

I, always, think, of, all, my every, movie, you've, ever, seen, ever, seen is 92.

I, just, go, in, liking, things. He's, just, positive, boy. I, really, do, see, the, best, in, everything. Also, I don't go to things that I already know like that I'm not going to like.

You, only, go, to, see, movies, you've, already seen. He, only, goes, to, ' 92s.

92., He's, got, an, app, on, his, phone. I, just, saw, Eternity., I, really, liked, it. I cried.

92. 92. Um,, this, is, not, great,, guys,, but Christmas is not one of my thingies., I, I, get, sad, a, little, bit., I get a little lonely. Um, that's good. We needed a bahug. And I uh um stopped kind of doing gifts with my family a little bit here and there. We hang out a little bit and it's good and I enjoy eggnog. So the eggnog got me to 79.

Wow., Okay., So, that's, a, C++. Again,, you, are, a, high, score, cuz, from everything you just said, I'm waiting for a 60.

No,, no,, no., I, don't, live, I, don't, What, is that? You've, never, Right., I, can't, imagine you've ever given anything a

worst, day, is, a, 77., But, I, do, think, that you um like some of the traditions around Christmas. So maybe that

upped, it, a, little, bit. Yeah., Amy, and, Ryan's, Christmas, party. That, um, love, what, we, do., We, get, our tree. We get our kid. That was really really nice. We have a really beautiful kid this year. This is our third baby.

Do, you, want, to, tell, them, how, the, birth went? Um, it, was, geriatric. I, mean, we

it, was, a, geriatric, pregnancy, cuz, getting older. We normally just go in. We immediately know this is our our baby. And this one was

Oh,, take, this. Rough rough, to, find., And um the, umbilical, cord, was, a, little, stuck.

What, are, we, talking, about? Our, Christmas, tree. Oh., Oh., Oh. No, one, knows., The, listener, doesn't, know. We don't know.

So, clear. They're, baby, trees. We, have, a, tree, baby, once, a, year, and, it ages quickly. Like by the time

it, has, progeria. Yes,, it, does., By, the, time, I, come, home from the holidays, it's it's dead.

Um,, it's, lived, a, long, long, long, life. Like right now, our baby is like 34.

Yeah., And, we've, had, her, seven, days., Him. It's, a, boy. Wait,, how, do, you, have, a, a, baby, tree together if you don't live together?

Because, I, come, visit. Wow., A, lot, of, people, get, people, pregnant that don't live together.

Exactly., They, pick, it, out, together. Oh,, you're, acting, like, you, had, the, baby

when, they, picked, it, out., I, thought, you were talking like you went to a Christmas tree lot and picked out a tree.

We, did. Yeah. Okay. And, that's, their, baby. That's, their, baby., So,, it's, like, more, of adopted baby.

No,, we, had, it. And, I, have, to, put, the, lights, on., It's hard. Yeah. Even, at, 6'5.

Yeah., Like, I'm, sweating., Like, I, have, to go around and she's also I can sense that I'm not doing it right.

No,, no,, no,, no. But, you, really, give, and, take., You, really make me feel safe. Well, you're you're the female equivalent of Ken Kennedy which is like he does everything right. He's kind of a perfectionist and everything you're doing around him you're like, I know I know I'm [ __ ] this up by some measure. I don't have a good eye for stuff like that.

Can, I, ask, you, a, question, about, how, you do the lights? Because we recently got into this about how you do the lights cuz I did them this year. And do you go around the tree? You do. Don't you find that

holding, it, and, then, start, from, the, top and then dragging them and then you, start, from, the, top, is, in, that's insanity. So if she was looking at you funny, I think start on the top.

You, have, to, start, on, the, top. I, have, to, start, on, the, bottom., There's no way you'll predict where it'll end.

Yeah,, I, will., I, judge, you, eye, it. Yeah,, I, have, to, plug, it., Plug, in, the star at the top. So you need the butt.

No,, put, the, star, on., Then, start, your strand. Go around and then at the end if you're running low, then you put the bottom one on and you can just tuck it behind the tree.

That's, what, we, do. I, could, see, that., But, my, my, question about the either or is if you go all the way around. To me, that's so much more work than just going like, how would you describe for zigzag?

Yeah,, a, zigzag., No,, but, you, go, all, the way around to the back. But you don't have to actually physically go

step, behind step, behind, the, tree., And, then, when, you take them off, you just pull.

Oh,, that's, cool. That's, great., That, part,, I, agree, with you, is brilliant.

And, but, the, back, of, it, then, looks, like kind of a suture. Who's, looking, at, the, back, of, your, tree?

Great, point., Um,, at, unfortunately, at, my apartment there's a mirror right behind the tree. Do you spend a lot of time staring into that mirror at the back of the tree? Okay. Well, then yeah, you can't do that.

I, can't, do, it. Can, I, say, one, more, thing, about, the suture? I don't think it's going to look like a suture because the the cord is green

and, the, lights, are, colored, and, bright. So, it's really and they're spaced out and they're all scattywampus anyway. I don't think it

Okay, that's, fair. I'm, going, to, stand, by, it. Uh,, Ames, a, 10, for, me., Yeah,, definitely, a, 10., I'm with you. Favorite holiday.

I, think, you're, the, only, practicing Christian in the group. Unless I don't know that Rob is. He doesn't speak often on his religious views.

Do, you, have, an, extra, gear?, And, I, say this very sincerely cuz for me it's a [ __ ] 10. Now I imagine if I really thought this was also the birthday of my favorite dude. Like does does that up it? Do you think?

100%. It, does., Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., Where you're like, you do feel like, "Oh yeah. I'm so glad he was born today."

Absolutely. Yeah., It's, like, the, most, exciting, gift the world's ever been given.

Nice. That's, so, sweet. And, that's, the, whole, point., We, get, to, do all the fun things we love to do in celebration of it.

Have, you, ever, been, like, these, all, these bozos and jambonis can't shouldn't be celebrating this if they're not down with the fact that this is all about this guy that you don't believe in? Like what? You guys are all posers. Is that ever?

No., Because, I, don't, think, that, you're claiming to celebrate necessarily that you're just celebrating like the all the things that come along with Christmas. I do maybe think like, oh, I wish that they got to experience what the joy and the hope and the peace that is brought with this gift of Jesus. But

yeah, might, as, well, celebrate, away. You've, never, been, like,, hey,, get, off, my holiday. Either you believe or you don't. You don't get to like

That's, cuz, she's, a, real, person., a, car. Well, but don't you would agree to like what's fun is I can imagine believing in Jesus and I know what he's all about. So, he wouldn't mind at all that we were like

absolutely, not. He, still, want, us, to, probably, celebrate. Absolutely. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah.

I, mean,, and, then, me, judging, people, that wouldn't make anyone feel good. So what's the point of that? That doesn't make any sense.

But, you, could, secretly. No. Yeah., I, would, be You, would, be, like,, "Well,, yeah,, cuz there was a peptide that's going to make Eric and I your color." And you're like "This is bullshit."

That, is, not, a, strange, thing, at, all. The, same, exact, thing. I'm, having, trouble, following, that, one, as well. And I can usually follow you pretty good

cuz, she's, like, "You, don't, get, to, be Indian when it's convenient to you." Like you don't get to take a peptide to be Indian when you want to look tan.

Yeah, that's, her, point. That, is, my, point., Yeah. Which, is, that, would, be, a, good, parallel to the like Christian on just this day.

But, people, who, like, Christmas, aren't necessarily saying they're Christian. If they on that day were like, "Yeah, I'm Christian." That would probably be bad.

We're, not, saying, we're, Indian., We're just saying we share the same beautiful complexion as Indians.

I'm, Indian. Still, pass. When, I, was, You, said, I'm, Indian. You, did, say, you, were, Native, American.

Yeah. Yeah. And, you, believed, it, in, your, defense for, a, long, time until, 23, and, me., When, I, was, growing, up, um there were uh a lot of religious communities intermingling of different sorts and then some people who weren't religious and we called the people who went to church on only Christmas and Easter, we called them cheers.

That's, a, good, burn., It's, a, very Christian burn. It's, a, very, PG, burn. Stay, tuned, for, more, armchair, expert, if you dare. Rob Wobbby Wob Nine and a half. Wow. Nine and a half. Nice.

As, high, as, my, scale, goes., I, think, it's gone up since having kids. Like it was not always 9 and a half. Um but we take it pretty I take it pretty seriously. Like

we, have, spreadsheets, where, here's, gifts from Santa for the stocking that we're bringing. Is it arrived? Is it ordered? Is it W.

You, guys, are, so, [ __ ], organized. You, travel. Well,, it's, cuz, we, travel., We, avoid

Very, impressive. We, avoid, family, on, Christmas. Oo. That's, nice. That's, hard, to, do.

We, leave, LA, and, go, see, friends., That's what we do for Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Yeah., Yeah. Oh,, I, want, to, lodge, one, complaint., I have a single complaint about Christmas which was growing up when I would go to these aunts and uncles and we would all get our presents.

Every, one, of, them, would, go,, "Hey, Daxter, I got you a Christmas and birthday present. It's the same cuz my birthday is January 2nd.

That's, tough. And, then, I, would, look, over, I'm, like that's interesting. My brother got the same present.

Oh, no. It's, not, his, birthday. It's, a, scam. Yeah., There's, a, lot, of, that, [ __ ] going on.

Yeah., That's, really, upsetting. So, that's, my, one, my, one, grievance., Still a hundred.

Okay., Should, we, do, a, few, questions? Let's see. Okay., Let's, start, with, this, one., If, you were trapped lost in the wilderness with no food and had to eat someone who's currently present.

Oh, yeah., at, the, holiday, dinner, to, save everyone, who would it be? This, is, tough.

Well,, I'll, tell, you, why, this, is, a complicated question. Cuz it's like you you could go either way. It's like who would we least miss and then who would be most delicious?

Yeah., Right. When, I, was, in, college,, um, my, friends Ariel and Jennifer and I would when we'd go to a bar and there would be a lot of like learing guys. We used to walk up to one of them at the bar, like all three of us, and be like, "Hi." and start a flirty conversation and be like, "We just have a question.

Which, one, of, us, is, the, prettiest tell, us, what, you, think?", Just, to, get them very very uncomfortable.

Yeah. Eric, would, pass, that, in, one, second., You for, sure, you. There's, also, an, efficiency, answer, like who would be best to kill? Who So we'd kill Jess cuz he's he he you want only have to kill one person

to, feed, everyone. To, feed, everybody, the, most, mean, versus you and Kristen are like one Jess.

That's, what, I'm, saying., really, want, to eat boobs though. Like, so I I would want I'd really want to like your boobs would be delicatess. They're so they're so fluffy and meaty.

Daddy, I, know., But, I, like, Yeah,, I, won't, take That's, why, ribeye, is, so, good., So, much fat.

Just, just, picked, Monica,, right? I, would, want, to, eat, her., I, just, think you're I think everything about you would not I like I think I don't want some some of Eric's face.

Yeah. I, don't, you, know, I, taste, weird. I, think, you, would, taste, gy., Yeah.

I, don't, think, it, would., I, just, think you would taste good. I really do. And I really would

But, you, don't, think, you, don't, think then, move, to, your, vagina because, you're, not, for, you.

No,, I'd, eat, around, it. Um, Rob,, who, would, you, like, to, eat? That's fair.

I'm, just, going, out, of, meat., So,, it's between you and Jess. Oh,, wow., I'm, so, flattered., I'm, really, I thought for sure no one's going to pick me.

Really?, I, would, pick, you. You, would? Yeah., Because, I, feel, like, I, know, what you put into your body. Mhm.

I, see, how, you, take, care, of, it., It's, very muscular and I want to want a little meat on the bone. I am not I mean I It's not that I don't want to taste your boobs, but it's just I would prefer the protein over

You're, on, a, high, protein, diet. I'm, on, a, high, protein, diet., I'm, trying to get through pmenopause, guys. So

protein. Yeah., Raise, your, glass, to, that. And, that, way,, remember, we, used, to, all say that we would eat Amy's poop.

No., Well,, I, was, going, to, say, we, all, said we'd have a fecal transplant. If there was some one member of the pod, we would all want a fecal transplant from it was unanimously. Amy

I'd, eat, her, poop., Don't, eat, the, poop, guys. You just eat anyone's poop. You just put the my poop up your butt. You don't actually eat it. You just put it up the butt. I think we might want to try it. Yeah. Fal transplant.

Eric, I, would, definitely, eat, Monica. Okay., I, mean,, there, you, go., In, fact, your skin is so nice. Look at how nice her skin is.

I, love, it., What, if, it, has, zits, all, over it at the top? That, dark, feet., Yeah.

Yeah,, feet, are, his, favorite. Those, feet,, those, nice, little, fives. I, would, sacrifice, myself, if, we, were really in this scenario. I would have to sacrifice myself cuz I don't have kids. I thought that was going to come up. Not even like ethical.

Yeah,, it's, more, ethical., It's, like, if one of us has to get run over by a car.

What, would, be, ethical?, I'm, older, than you. I'LL DIE. NO. YEAH,, WE, both, don't, have, to., It's logical for me cuz I'm the oldest.

No,, but, you, have, two, children, who, need you. But, they're, already, grown.

They're, almost, across, the, finish, line. Yeah, they're, both, great. Yeah., Oh,, I, got, a, big, life, insurance policy.

So,, I, I, would, love better, for, them. I, want, to, hit, that, life, insurance policy. It expires when I'm 63, I think. So, I'm coming up.

You're, incentivized, to, be, something happens to Eric, we'll know because, I, think, you'd, be, del.

Money,, who, would, you, eat? I, said, Amy. Oh,, you, did?, Yeah., Okay,, great.

Clean., Clean., so, clean., But, protein,, I mean, I I'd really miss you, though. And the whole thing would fall apart cuz you're the one keeping everyone together and nice. So, we'd all end up eating each other once you were gone.

Good, thing, this, is, not, a, real, real thing. Amy,, did, you, pick? I, think, I, I, was, saying, I, would, just, let you guys eat me. That would be the easiest decision for me. I don't think I could pick. I don't think I could.

Okay. What, if, you, have, to, pick, or, all, your kids die? Okay,, now, we're, getting, somewhere. Christmas.

And, again,, it, goes, to, probably, Yeah., Dax or Jess the most meat and the most

sustain., Yeah. I, feel, a, little, insane. I think it's, just Yeah., You're, just, not, as, big.

Yeah. I, mean,, we, think, we, weigh, the, exact same. Oh,, okay. Probably. Yeah., You, You're, a, little, lighter, than me, I think.

What, do, you, weigh? Like, 194, and, a, half. Oh,, no., You're, lighter. Yeah.

Yeah., Five, lbs. It's, cuz, of, all, the, peptides., You, just put so much peptides in you. You do too. Kind of. Not as much as him though.

I, don't, know., We're, We're, pretty peptides. You're, on, the, same, [ __ ] I'll, pick, you, then, instead.

Okay., Thank, you. Huh?, Wait., Okay., This, is, a, question. Girlfriend and I stand to inherit a lot of money. If we don't come out to our families, what do we do?

Oh,, for, sure., This, I, mean, I, have, this conversation with people all the time. You do. I barely understand.

You, understood, that, question. Yeah., These, people, who He, does, it, all, the, time.

Yeah., These, people, have, in-laws, and they're hard to get along with their parents, but they're rich. And you look at it as you go to whatever Christmas Thanksgiving, and you just look at it as like an hourly wage. I mean, let's say these people are worth $10 million to their parents.

So,, they, spend,, you, know,, 150, hours, with them over the next 10 years. breaks, I, don't, know what, it, breaks, down to but I'm sure it sound it's over 10 grand an hour. I mean

like, if, you've, got, rich, relatives, you have got to kiss their ass for, the, inheritance., And, there's, you know people are so proud. Oh well I don't need anything from my wife's parents or my parents. I'm going to make it on my own. Like [ __ ] you. Take the money. Yeah. Take the money. It's it's ridiculous this like principle that you're not going to be nice to the in-laws because they're they're not the right politics or whatever it is when you can get all that money identity. It sounds like right that you followed it as well.

Okay., Yeah., Like what, do, you, mean, their, identity? Well,, they're, saying, we, are, only accepting of you if you're in a heterosexual relationship and we're only going to pass our money on to you if you're in a heterosexual. Let's say I'll even make a great argument for them. They're like this is generational wealth. We want you to have kids and pass it to those kids and they have kids and carry on the family name and that's what we want.

So, yeah,, act, like, you're, straight, or whatever to get the money. You, hire, someone,, you, know,, you, that person makes a ton, too. Like, hey, you got to come to Christmas with me. It's just like you're trying to get your green card, you know, it's all it's all a ruse. And you pay them really good right? Your fake wife or husband

right?, I, mean,, if, you, had, a, a, parents award with $100 million, you'd figure out how to get that.

Yeah., But, then, you, got, to, ask, yourself, are you okay with reserving that portion of your identity to to just yourself or your inner circle and not to that those family members?

I, think, that's, the, the, counter, argument, right, is they would go like, I'm not going to pretend I'm someone else for money. I don't think it matters if those people are receiving a lie. They asked to be lied to with this preposterous condition. So it's like you're not you're not straight. You're not straight because they wanted you to be straight. You're not straight. You know it. The person you love knows it. Everyone that you care about knows it. This handful of knuckleheads doesn't know it because they wanted you to lie to them. So, [ __ ] them. Why?

And, then, you, have, to, spend, time, with them. I guess that's the other thing. Like you're deciding to

That's, where, you, got, to, get, to, like $10,000 an hour is a lot of money to spend.

It, could, be, like, two, holidays, a, year, for most people. But, there's, something, about, having, their money. It's like blood money.

No,, you, you, just, make, a, mental, decision. this really makes me feel fraudulent and and betraying myself. Or you can decide I'm not betraying myself. And I would just decide I'm not betraying myself. I'm getting $10 million for [ __ ] a few weekends a year. And me and the person I love are going to have this great life because of it

right? Yeah., I, mean,, I, think, whatever, you choose is fine. It's ethical, whatever. But I I don't think it's bad to decide not to take it. And I I understand wanting to be like free

also, because, it, could, come, with, so, much more time with like if they expect them to get married to someone like it's not like they're getting the inheritance tomorrow. They have to make decision. It's like they'll have to play the game for the rest of

Yeah., What, if, Yeah., What, if, the, game, is that they now have to be straight

and, start, slowly, poisoning, them, in, a, way that is undetectable because you have a little time on your hands?

Yeah. Does, it, change, if, we, make, it, race?, like it's a white East Coast blueb bloodood family and they're like we're only giving you your inheritance if you marry a white woman and then you're really in love with a black woman and then you got to tell the black woman I have to take this white chick to the thing to get the inheritance. Does that somehow does it feel worse or the same? It does. And why you know it shouldn't in a weird way.

No,, that's, completely, worse, because well, we're, saying, racism, is, worse, than homophobia which is interesting. a person on the other end of it, like I would never be okay with that. The the person of color is going to be like "Fuck you. Goodbye."

Right., And, so, the, partner, might, feel that way. Well,, we, don't unless, they're, both, in, that, situation,

right?, Oh,, if, they, have, a, a because, then, it's, apples, to, apples really. It's like you're you're ashamed. You know, that's what you would think.

Well,, then, yeah,, if, that's, true,, if, they have a partner Uhhuh., Then, no,, you, can't, take, the money. Like you can't then leave that person.

The, partner, may, want, the, money or, Yeah. I, mean,, think, about, who, the, this, joke's on the parents.

I, more, than, anything, want, the, parents, to get [ __ ] in this scenario. That's what I'm trying to point. Like for how long the partner just sits at home for the rest of their life.

There's, a, third, option, that, also, might be true, which is like you could call their bluff. They probably are still going to give you your inheritance. You're their child. They've done this. They've threatened you. This is why money is cancerous in so many ways because the the older folks tried to control the younger generation with this money leverage, but often it's [ __ ] You're still getting the money.

Yeah. What, brings, you, happiness, at, the, end, of the day is the money. So you might the real win might be like, "No, I'm not playing that game. I'm going to go live my life and I got the money anyways." So that that's likely and worth exploring.

And, I, think, it's, different, if, you, have rich parent I don't have rich parents. So I think if you have rich parents there's a thing about them controlling you that you hate

right?, That, I, don't, have, the, baggage, of either, right?, And, that's, giving, the, money, to them trying to leverage that.

Yeah. To, control, my, life., And, in, that, case,, I would be like, "Fuck you. I won't be controlled for money."

Yeah. Yeah., Okay., That, was, interesting., Um,, if you could commit any crime without legal or moral repercussions, what would you pick?

I, know, what, mine, would, be. Oh,, right., Uh,, I, would, be, a, thief, if, I see I'm going to use a perfect example. I would take that headband off your head and I would wear it and I would put it in my closet and it would not be yours anymore.

Is, that, what, happened, to, the, shoes, you Listen,, I, have, definitely, thought, I, did say to Anna the other day, Monica's nuts if she thinks she's getting these shoes back.

She, knows, where, to, get, them, if, she, needs them. But, I, did, weirdly, I, did, bring, them, the other day when we all hung out. I just forgot to give them to you. You will get them back. You will get them back. We appreciate the Yeah, I would take things off of people physically. Like if I saw something like a ferret, if I saw something shiny or that I liked, I'd be like, "Oo, I like those shoes. I'll take it., I, like, that, earring., I'm, going to take it. I like that. That's mine now."

Yeah., Okay. Unlimited, gathering. Unlimited, gathering. That's, good., So,, you, you, also, shoplift then. Let's add that to the mix cuz that's like you're in a store and you're like, I want it.

Sure., But, what's, funny, is, I, have, I'm less inclined to do that because in a store there's too many options. Again like you have to understand my brain works in in a very specific way that if there's too many options, I get overwhelmed really really easily and I have really have to like sit there and stare at everything and process. I know that headband, there are 100,000 headbands to choose from. That one looks great because you're making it look great and I'm going to take it and it's mine.

And, it's, like, in, the, moment, you're, just seeing it right there and you're like, I got to have it.

Oh,, that, looks, so, pretty. I, have, one., I, would, kill, Putin., Yeah,, I was going to say I I imagine someone would kill like a leader, a leader.

Yeah,, I'd, kill, the, [ __ ], out, of, him, and I'd have a good time. That, could, backfire, big, time, though, cuz you could have a worse person

in, China come, in, power, or, you, can, have, a, nuclear war at least we haven't been in a nuclear war.

I, mean, what, if, you, killed, Putin, and, then there was a nuclear war. That, man, will, go, down, in, history, as, one of the most successful administrators of power. the way he has silenced the media and the way he's imprisoned his enemies. He is a genius on that level. I don't think he could be replaced by someone as savvy as him. I think there'd be a string of like their previous presidents.

I, just, think, he, is, uniquely, dude., He, was he was raised by the KGB right?

You, know,, he, is, a, unique, individual, that has somehow kept power over that country like he was a born a king. He's been in power for like 30 years at this point. He's not going anywhere.

But, at, the, same, time,, like, we, haven't They're not really worried about being in a nuclear war.

Um, I, think, a, lot, of, us, have, been watching this Ukraine thing going, "God what's the limit to this?"

Yeah., Yeah. Yeah., I, have, not, felt, incredibly, at, ease about that. I can't think of one.

I, mean,, this, feels, impossible, because they all feel like they have a moral repercussion and I don't have a desire really

in, my, heart, to, do, that., But, I, did, really love the cartoon Robin Hood. And I always thought it'd be fun to steal from the rich and then give it to the poor cuz they have too much and even it all out.

Even, it, out, a, little, bit., However, you, do that. And, let's, say, you've, got, a, um, you've, got an all you can eat bar of billionaires right? You've got Bezos you could knock off. You got Gates, you got Zuckerberg and you got Elon. It's like

you'd, be, like,, I, wouldn't, feel, terrible. They, would, probably, not, even, notice., And then you'd be do so much good with it. That's the I think Jennifer

I, I, think, it's, so, funny, because, I, think most people fantasize about like the Robin Hood idea

but, taxes, is, the, Robin, Hood, idea., It, is taking from the rich and and trying to disseminate it out.

That's, the, part, that, misses, I, feel., So, like I think a lot of people who don't want taxes would also say like, "Yeah Robin Hood." Not you. You aren't in that kid. But I feel like Elon, maybe Elon wouldn't say he likes he wants a Robin Hood situation.

I, would, do, the, tax, fraud. That's, my, crime. I, mean,, tax, fraud., I, don't, know., Is, that illegal?

Yeah., That's, my, fraud. I'm, picking, that, one. You, got, to, make, a, lot, of, money, to, have tax fraud though be yours.

I'm, not, making, a, lot of, money, but, I'm, already, in, a, little, bit, of, tax stuff right now. No, you're saying you don't want to. You're not going to pay.

I'm, not, paying, taxes. Yeah., Good, for, you. And, I'm, just, going, to, Yeah.

Right, after, the, Robin, Hood, coming., I love it. That's, my, point. Like, I, agree, with, that., And, also, I shouldn't pay taxes.

Yep., That's, what, most, I, think, that's what most people think. Yeah. Well,, if, they, were, distributed, really well, that'd be nice. Yeah.

Do, you, have, one,, Eric? I, I, I, definitely, wouldn't, steal, from, a billionaire because I would still feel bad. Um I was trying to think of something I just wouldn't feel guilty about. I like the Colombian drug like steal from drug dealers. Oh

I, guess., Um, I, was, thinking, steal, from like the Federal Reserve, but then you're still stealing from the government. You could do like something that didn't have like a what's a financial crime that doesn't really have a victim. Maybe like insider trading.

Oh,, trading., I, like because, you, know,, nobody's, really getting hurt doing it.

Um, although, I, would, never, do, it, because it's illegal but Okay, I like that. I think the ste like shoplifting is a is good, but part of the high from shopping is the payment

for, me., Like, it's, it's, like, I, have, the power to own this. Oh, wow. Like, not, not, the, item., I, mean, the, the items are great. I pick it.

It, feels, good, to, be, able, to, pay, for, what this thing you want. It's, like, what, it, means.

Yeah., You, earned, this, to, get, to, that point. Yeah. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

Is, it, wrong, to, order, takeout, and, then claim you made it? Rob, says, yes., And, I, think, yes,, too. Yeah.

With, lying. Yeah., You I, mean,, who, cares,, right?, I, mean,, yeah, I would lie about that. That's like a lie that it doesn't matter.

But, you, don't, cook,, so, you, don't understand that it like takes some real energy and effort and thought to do. So if you're saying, I did that, too, and you didn't.

Yeah., And, your, aunt, slaved, away, on something else and she brought this and, it, doesn't, make, you, feel, good, at, the end of the day. You lay down being like why did I do that?

For, me,, it's, did, they, buy, it?, Like,, did they buy my lie? Cuz I only wouldn't say it because they were like, yeah, right Jess.

They, would, see, right, through, it., Yeah, it would be unbelievable. But, if, I, really, could, pull, it, off, and I'm it's in like these nice plates and it's not smokehouse garlic bread, but it's like I made this and they believed me, then maybe I would.

This, was, all, Stoers,, I, should, say., Now, I feel like it's weird that it's, interesting, how, not, black, and, white these questions are to me. Like, I need so much more context because if you were to say like, sure, lying about a meal no, I probably wouldn't do that because I'd feel like an idiot because you're right, Rob. That's a lie. But if you're going to tell me that the girlfriends are going to host a Christmas for their families and this is their coming out party and they're going to do it really peacefully and say, "We certainly hope we're not cut out of the inheritance.

This is the girl I love." And they've been rushing around all day and they've both been incredibly stressed because they have to come out to their families. And they go to Dinty up the street and they order it and they go, "Shoot, Aunt Carla loves home-cooked meals. Let's just say we made it." And then they plate everything. those girls are on a trajectory where they didn't have the time to do that. To me, that's like I'm I'm cool if those girls go, "We made all of this for you." If the family's like "Oh, thank you very much."

And, then, the, family, is, like,, "How, did you make a fortune cookie?" Dling, say, the, lies, were, easy, or, that, I had quick recall of restaurants. Didn't I great?

The, only, thing, I, thought, of, a, great restaurant. I, like, um, what's, the, worst, gift, you've ever received? But I I I have a good memory and I can't think of one. So is that

I'm, trying, to, think. Maybe, not, me,, but, I, did, get, my, stepdad, a joke tie

and, he, he, shamed, me, in, front, of everyone. I, was, like, 11, and, I, was maybe, it, was, I, was, mortified., He, really made me

like, you, got, me, like, it, was, just, really just double down. That was the worst gift he's ever gotten in his life. the joke of the title water or No, it just silly.

Oh,, silly., And, I, think, it, was, I, got, it at the mall and like I got him something and it was just like really poor little jazz.

Yeah,, that's, that's, so, sad. I, have, to, now., Joe, Bella,, if, you're watching this, I don't know um my age really cuz if if I was 16 maybe like but I'm remembering as I was a kid.

Yeah., So,, and, I'll, but, the, joke, tie I, think, you, have, to, be, like, 30, or, above to shame someone for a present they got you a joke.

Well,, I'm, not, 30., I, mean, 45. What, was, Christmas, in, Sweden, like?, Cuz you had a bunch there, right?

Amazing,, but, very, macrobiotic, and, they we don't we didn't buy a tree. We we had a paper tree on the wall.

So,, it's, a, green, tree and, one, wooden, toy. Yeah., And, like, like, we, would, eat, carob,

but, that's, more, just, cuz, your, dad, not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're not gluttonous. Like it was just it was all about we're not going to kill a tree and

Oh,, that's, why, it, was, a, paper., But, that that's made of paper. That's made of trees.

Yeah., I, don't, know., Um, but, lonely., I mean, but it was nice. Yeah., But, I, missed, my, dad., So, like

it, was, nice., It, was, lonely., It, was, It was great. I It was It made me sad.

No, wonder, Christmas, is, sad, for, a, 79, for you. Okay., I, think, this, one, would, be, good. Name one thing you're letting go of from 2025 Eric.

Oh,, that, I'm, letting, go, of., So,, this, is this isn't a New Year's resolution. This is uh

It, kind, of, is,, but um, uh, I, want, to, stop, drinking, caffeine um completely.

Past, 6:00, at, night. Oh,, that's, Yeah,, completely. They, say, to, set, realistic, goals,, so that's probably smart. Well, yeah, cuz I was thinking and the amount that I drink. Like I was thinking today like caffeine has a 5h hour halflife. Like if I have like eight espressos in the morning at 10:00, that's still like I was drinking an espresso right before I went to bed. But and then I drink a Celsius at like at like two

and, I'm, wondering, why, my, sleep, is, not great. So I it's it's just asinying that I do that. So, it's I want to leave um leave the caffeine at the table and in 25.

That's, great. I'm, opposite., I, might, pick, something back up next year. Smoking.

No,, I, haven't, been, on, any, apps, for, a whole year. Oh,, yeah. One, app,, no, dating, and, no, sex, for, a whole year.

So,, um, maybe, I, will, give, up, a, little, bit of my work addiction. How's, that?

Oh,, interesting., What, has, been, the result of of celibacy for a year? The the cons is oh no, am I ever gonna get it back?

Am, I, ever, gonna, is, that, part, of, me, gonna ever get the, desire? Yeah,, the, desire., Like, the, the, more, sex you have, the more you want it. And the less sex you have, the less you want it.

Yeah. And, so, now, I'm, just, not, even, thinking about it. I'm like, "Oh my god, this was such a big part of my life." Um and the pros is um what I'm doing, which is I have a career and I'm working and I'm getting self-esteem from actually helping people and helping restaurants. So, I'm loving that. But I do think it's become a little bit of a obsession, too. Or I I'm like thinking about that all the time just like it whether it's the apps or the the job.

Were, you, letting, go, of, Kristen? I, know, mine, and, I, knew, it, right, off, the bat when you asked the question and I felt so excited. Um judgment.

Nice. Of, others, or, yourself? Both., Ooh, which, I, wouldn't, say, I'm, um, a, judgmental person, but I certainly form judgments and have judgments about people. It's not what I lead with. It's not like my first five instincts, but it's in there. Especially if my feelings are hurt. If my feelings are hurt, I will be I have noticed I will be much less likely to give the level of compassion that I know I want to give to someone else. Mainly because they deserve my feelings. But I have decided that that's just not serving me anymore. And I'm not going to be in an invisible war with anyone and it doesn't make sense in my body or in my brain or in my heart. And so I'm just not going to judge anything anymore.

Did, 2025 have more judgments than other years? Um yeah., Why, do, you, think, it's, um, something you've become aware of that you're like you, know what,, I'm, going, to, tackle, this.

Yeah., I, don't, know, if, I, was, feeling extra vulnerable this year or if my feelings got hurt more this year or if I felt more judged this year, but my judgments were spiking. I felt like I didn't have armor on or something. You know what? Everyone is doing the best they can with what they've got. Me included.

Mhm. And, everyone, else, on, this, planet., And I'm just going to let that be. I don't need to have an opinion about what someone else is doing.

It's, hard, when, it's, affecting, you. Yeah. But, that's, a, beautiful, goal., But, it's funny cuz I would never put you in a category of needing to do that. I feel like you're so you you always lend compassion.

I, think, I, Thank, you., I, I, certainly, try to, but I think when I can't or when it's not as easy for me, that's when I know I need to like make a statement to myself of like, yeah, we're just not doing that anymore. We're not judging anybody. We're not judging the person that's speeding. We're not judging the person that's nasty on the internet. We're not judging the grocery store clerk for doing this or that or not doing that. We're giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. If someone is going slow, they have a cake in the back of the car. If someone is going fast they have a pregnant lady in the car. I can I can create scenarios to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And I'm going to do that. And

I'm, just, losing, all, judgment., It's, not fun. That's great. That's, funny, though, that, she, has, that one cuz she's probably like one of the best persons at having empathy for other people. It's like no matter who they are.

Yeah. You're, not, in, her, mind. I, know. Yeah., No,, I'm, just, kidding., Well,, we have code words really, which is like I have learned that I've got a preface. Like I want to rant. I want to be toxic for a second

right? Like, I, want, to, call, this, person, [ __ ] I don't want to hear about why it might not be their fault or it might not they might have had this thing. Like I need to express that I [ __ ] hate this about this person right now. And I'm not really interested in making a case for them yet.

I'll, get, there,, but, I'm, not, there. I, feel, like, you've, done, me, the, same favor.

Yeah., when, you, can, tell, that, I, just, need to like rant something out. It's, so, I, know, what, it's, coming, from, too. It's like, "Oh, they're struggling with this. If I can paint this other version, it might alleviate this angst they're feeling." Like, it feels like a solution. I think at in the moment, uh when you're delivering that, but when you're receiving it, you're like, "Well then I don't even want to tell you." Like, I'll tell someone else that's willing to go like, "Yeah, they're a [ __ ] prick." And then later I'll think of it. You know

what, is, it?, comfort, or, advice?, What, do How do you want me to answer that? Like isn't that what you're supposed to say?

Right. What, do, you, want, right, now? Solution, or, Yeah., Just, in, a, listening ear.

Yeah. Amy,, you're, really, hard, on, yourself, than anyone I know. You're always trying to be better and you've been perfect since I met you. So, I know you have something even though you shouldn't have.

Um,, I, think, the, first, thing, that, came, to my mind was maybe like busyness. kind of like letting go of some like saying no to more things

and, slowing, down, a, little, bit, which, is hard to do. Great. I, I, like, to, be, productive, and, I, like, to do things but it's okay if they don't get done.

So, I'll, use, this, very, public, forum, to ask this very personal question. Yeah.

So, I, too, have, to, be, very, productive, at all times. My kind of dream is like I that I can think I'm worthy of love without being productive and spectacular. I'm just curious if you know what this engine is in you. Are you just genetically born to be that hardworking all the time? Or do you have fear that if you're not spectacular and productive at all times, you're you won't be loved?

I, don't, think, it, stems, from, that., I, feel like it stems from there's just always something to be done

with, a, house, of, three, girls, and, like, I have two jobs at the moment and my husband's gone. So, there just always feels like there's something to be done. But it's also okay if like the floor doesn't get mopped and that there's extra laundry to do. But I knew you before you had kids in there before there was a circus

and, you, were, by, far, the, most, industrious person in that house of 12 people.

Right,, mama? When, your, oldest, daughter, was, born,, your water broke and you got up and made banana bread before you went to the hospital.

Well,, they, told, me, it, would, take, a, long time, so I thought, why not distract myself with some banana bread?

Um,, I, don't, think, it, feels, like, I, need to get love from it because I know that I'm loved. Like, I feel it so deeply. Okay.

I, think, I, genuinely, love, to, like, create. I love to like make things. I love to have things in order

but, I, also self-esteem. Well,, yeah., But, I, also, like, just, enjoy it. Like I really love accomplishing things. I love learning new things. If something breaks, I'm like, "Let me see if I can fix it first cuz it's exciting to think it comes from my my dad is really handy and loves to like figure it out for himself." And I would always go along with him and he'd teach me how to like put the putty on the wall and sand it down. And I like learn love to learn how to do things. I like to know how to do stuff.

And, not, to, embarrass, Ryan, or, emasculate him for certain every time you come over and there's some project being done. You are doing it. He I don't even know if he knows where the tools are. You are definitely doing all

he, will, hand, me, the, tools., He, will, hand me the spatula and make me laugh the whole time. But no, he did not get given the like handyman trait. I was talking to Kristen a while ago. I've been reading books about the Sabbath

and, what, that, actually, means, and, what, I always thought it meant. What, does, it, mean, and, what, did, you, think it meant? I thought it meant that you like are forced to just like read the Bible all day or something and have all these rituals and it was like something that a law that you had to live by that was like more condemning in a way. And I'm learning that it's like a gift of a day to like delight in God's creation

and, like, be, still, and, enjoy, it, and, do things you like, which if it's a walk or a dinner with friends or where we say yes to so much because there's always something to do and a party to go to and uh and it's like if you prep the week then you can have a day where you don't have to do the laundry or the any checklist stuff and you can just read a book all day. you can just be. And so my heart has been like craving that idea cuz there's always something to do. But it's like if you allow time to just rest, it's a gift.

I, knew, that, within, an, hour, and, a, half, we would see um on display that Amy's the most beautiful person in the world.

Yeah,, she's she's, so, peaceful., I, want, some, of, that peace. I need to find Jesus.

She's, pretty, great. You're, selling, Jesus, really, well. You, wear, Jesus., Well,

I, am, a, CH., I, am, a, C, H, I, S, T, I, N., I, have the L O R D in my H E A R T and a L O. Love them on the T. That's the happiest I've made. Amy, I think

I, was, laughing, so, loud, in, the, car., I think my version is a little different. And I love your version even more.

Everyone, corrected, me., Where, did, I, get, I have uh It's, so, close., I, think, it's, I'm, C., I have C H R A S T in my H E A R T. And I will, L, O, V, E, E, T, E, R, N, A, L, O L, Y., That's hard.

What, is, that, one?, Longevity. Eternally,, I, think. I, can't, spell, either., That's, why, it's, a memorization from childhood.

Yeah. But, it, just, made, me, laugh, so, hard., And then you got Monica to sing on the podcast and

I, didn't, even, know, it, was, happening., I didn't do it this time. It, was, a, Christmas, miracle, and, the, Lord intervened,

right?, Intervention. Uh Mon, do you know what you're giving up? Yes., I, am, going, to, try, to, give, up, um fear of change.

That's, a, hard, one. Yes,, it's, very, hard, for, me., But, I'm going to try try to be more um just ride the wave a little more. Like it's okay that things are changing and that it's I feel like feeling unsteady or unsafe is is okay. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. The only certain thing is life is change.

That's, right., Good, job. Buddhist. That, was, very, Buddhist. Buddhism. I, was, Buddhist, a, little, bit, this, year, if you remember. A couple weeks

intermittently., Yeah., Intermittent Buddhist. You did it. Yeah., And, so intermittent, fasting.

Yep., I'm, going, to, add, a, couple, more weeks this year to Buddhism. What, about, you?

I, think, I'm, going, to, take, the, cue, from our 12-year-old who said, "I I just have too many opinions." And that's probably true. You're giving up all opinions. Don't do that. We love them.

I, have, an, opinion, on, anything., Anything you say to me, within 4 seconds, I know immediately how I feel with it. For better or worse.

You've, been, so, good, lately, though, at like letting other people talk and not like you'll you'll like there'll be a group of us.

Here, they, are., Here. A, real, time, compliment. Waiting, all, day., Well,, there'll, be, a group of people I know. I know I could see you and I know you have something and you don't you don't say it and somebody like Molly or Amy or Kristen or some somebody will say it and then you still don't talk and you you do it a lot.

Oh,, well,, thank, you., Um,, as, as controversial as it is, I am identifying greatly with this ADHD symptomy thing and I am recognizing through these many memes I see like the interrupting thing like I'm just aware of like oh is this like so ADHD it's like impul I can't resist saying it and then I I interrupt and I do all these things and I'm like I'm just like I got to get my handle you know hands on.

Yeah., But, you've, been, working, on, that for a couple years I think. God, bless, you., And, I, had, one, more, cuz, I told my daughter that I'm going to go to the grave saying this. I'll be dying and I'll be saying, "Why did you worry so much?

You, worry, so, much, about, so, many, things and, it, doesn't, really, matter, if, these things happen or not. You just it's you just live.

Fix, the, problem.", Yeah., Worry, doesn't fix it. Yeah., And, sometimes, I'll, think, of, you., I mean, you don't worry very much at all.

Try, not, to. And, it's, like, amazing. Yeah., I, I, I, think, I, can, worry, my, way, out of things. It'll lead to premature death.

He's, worshiping, the, problem. Yeah,, it, really, hit. Yeah. Um, well,, you, guys,, I, love, you, so, much. Um Wabby, thank you for making cookies.

Yes., Thank, you, for, spaghetti. It's, delicious. The, fact, that, we, have, um, this, many, good friends that we can call and say like "Hey, come over and um be on the show and eat spaghetti." And they go "Absolutely. What time?" [ __ ] dude. That's better than everything else.

Um,, I, love, all, you, guys, so, much. Love, you., Thank, you, for, happy, holiday.

I, hope, this, gets, you, from, a, 78, to, an, 812 to, 92. All, right., I, love, you, guys, so, much.

Merry, Christmas. Love, you, guys., Can, I, take, the, cookies, to go?

Questions about this episode

What is "Holiday Dinner 2025 | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard" about?

In the holiday special, a lively gathering of close and eccentric friends unfolds around a delicious dinner, where playful banter reveals personal stories and humorous insights into family dynamics during festive gatherings. The hosts engage with fun listener-submitted questions, prompting amusing anecdotes and reflections on past holiday mishaps.

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

19 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Wobbby, fecal microbiota transplant, WBY Wobb, The Beverly Hillbillies, Sunrise on the Reaping, Someday Now. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Holiday Dinner 2025 | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard"?

The episode runs 1 h 3 min; the transcript is about 12,892 words in 374 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated December 19, 2025.