Transcript

Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe

From Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 53 min · 10,243 words · 295 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe", an episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard published February 4, 2026 (53 min, about 10,243 words). It mentions 8 people, works and ideas, including Hogwarts, General Hap Arnold, Oceans 11, Trinity School, Argent.

What this episode is about

The content focuses on a lighthearted discussion where the hosts acknowledge previous mistakes made while recounting a bizarre story about a woman who inadvertently drank from a contaminated water bottle, intertwining humorous anecdotes and personal experiences. The conversation also features a culinary delight shared by a friend, highlighting the joys and quirks of food preparation while emphasizing the importance of fact-checking and clarity in storytelling.

Key takeaways

  • Transitions lenses: Now you can enjoy your friend's imperfections in stunning high-definition!
  • Rats in food? A new culinary constant; we might as well embrace rodent-inspired recipes!
  • Hot bar horror stories: Proof that some people are just a burnt twinge away from a lawsuit!
  • Mice are surprisingly conscientious—forget about pests; we're now worried about their hygiene!
  • Buffets may be a thing of the past; nothing says 'trust issues' like strangers breathing on your food.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Argent
  2. – 10:00: California
  3. – 20:00: General Hap Arnold
  4. – 25:00: Oceans 11, General Hap Arnold
  5. – 40:00: Hogwarts
  6. – 45:00: Trinity School, Elizabeth Smart
  7. – 50:00: Hogwarts, Gringotts, California

Notable quotes from "Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe"

  • She voice memoed me the other day and she said Sally from Argent Sally who owns the amazing suit company Argent very successful very smart woman and successful woman so.
    about Argent · at
  • Either going to get it today or we're going to get it in 4 days. We live in LA. Our kids go to a schools. I'm going to get everything. So I was all I'm doing is picking what time I think is most convenient for me to get a cold.
    about California · at
  • Yeah, this thing Tom Arnold can do fearlessly without any He just ran right in there, started letting rip. The guy had already been given morphine, but that wasn't.
    about General Hap Arnold · at
  • Yeah. I showed Lincoln your favorite movie.
    about Oceans 11 · at
  • I can't afford to build a Hogwarts, but I could probably Yes.
    about Hogwarts · at
  • Trinity High School where she went and she was like alluding to the fact that it's fancy.
    about Trinity School · at
  • Unimaginable. Yeah, it's jarring. Yeah, it is jarring. Like when we had Elizabeth Smart on, it was interesting talking to her because I think I and I think this is to for me to feel better about living in this world. I.
    about Elizabeth Smart · at
  • I want to live there so bad. Oh, I wish that for you. I know.
    about Gringotts · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • General Hap Arnold — Person · Referenced collaborator / anecdote subject · 3 mentions · first at
    Referenced in a story about performing comedy for U.S. troops in Afghanistan and visiting wounded soldiers; used as an example of someone who can bring levity in extreme situations.
  • Elizabeth Smart — Person · Referenced prior guest / example · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a prior guest in a discussion about human cruelty and coping by attributing horrific acts to mental illness; used to frame how the speaker processes disturbing stories.

Companies & orgs

  • Trinity School — Company · Referenced institution · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a prestigious school in New York City, with high tuition fees.
  • Argent — Company · Referenced business · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a successful suit company owned by a friend named Sally.

Concepts & topics

  • Hogwarts — Concept · Core topic · 4 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a metaphor for an ideal school or care system, with personal aspirations to teach there.
  • Gringotts — Concept · Referenced concept · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of discussing the wizarding world and its currency system.

Places & events

  • California — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as the location where the speakers live and discuss their daily lives.

Media & podcasts

  • Oceans 11 — Media · Referenced work · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a favorite movie, discussed for its clever screenplay and cast.

Full transcript with timestamps

We hope you enjoyed this episode. Unfortunately, they made some mistakes. Oh my god. It's like I'm looking through binoculars.

Why? I just got my new lenses. Oh. That have my far prescription up top. Transitions they call them.

Oh, sure. Yes. And then my nearsightedness down here. I've never had the top. I feel like I'm looking at through binoculars. I can see every pore on your face.

Great. My favorite thing. So happy to hear that. I'm totally teasing. I cannot see your pores. That's just a an example one would give if they can see perfectly.

Okay. I just want to apologize to everyone because we did an armchair anonymous story a while back where a woman drank a rat.

Yep. in a water bottle, which we've referred to a couple times, but I it's really [ __ ] it's really [ __ ] with some people, including me, as we know. I thought a rat got in my kettle into the straw part of the kettle. I still am not positive that that didn't happen.

Um, even though physics would say, Con, anything's possible. Yeah. Yeah. My friend Sally uh she voice memoed me the other day and she said

Sally from Argent Sally who owns the amazing suit company Argent very successful very smart woman

smart woman and successful woman so get in line folks that's right well don't she is married and has children

okay but get in line to buy her stuff me a voice memo and said I make this dessert for my kids where I puree strawberry strawberries and lemons and then it sounds amazing. And she like slices the strawberries. She puts the puree on and um whips cream, puts that on there with some honey and vanilla or something and then I know

and she layers that up. Yeah. She she sometimes makes this for the kids, she says. And she makes a little bit for her.

Mhm. So she did this and she says she was she was eating it and she tasted something weird. There was a weird texture. And so she pulled out this little piece, this little white tiny piece. And then there was more. And she's convinced that it was a rat.

She now Now there's rats in all of our foods. Okay. Well, I you know, I have been laughing about it thus far. I know it stayed with you. Really? It was really strong. It's uh it's a big one for you.

Yeah. And I had made a water in the gym. Oh boy. Last week. And then I put it in a little holder next to my machine. And then like two days went by and then I I went and I had another sip of it.

No. And um what? It tasted weird. And I will admit I was like, "Oh no, is there a mouse in here?" It it I had I had it. I had the feeling. Of course there was not a mouse in there. Sure.

Yes. And I was like, "I don't how could I even entertain this?" like it was it was up so high on a rack. There's no way a mouse could have got up there.

Of course they can. And and the top was closed, but it tasted funky. And you'll be happy to know that it is in my subconscious as well because now that the minute I taste something funky in water, I now do think, "Oh, there's a mouse inside. There's a mouse in this house."

I hate to tell you, a mouse went in there, swam around for a while, and then came out.

He opened the lid. Conscientious. Yeah. I mean, they we are as a as a group. Mice are conscientious and hardworking and good at covering our tracks. So, I feel like that mouse opened that lid, went in there, did a swim,

took a bath. Yes. Bathed. Yeah. Well, yeah. And then clean mice. They're clean. They're cleaner than you think.

Heard you coming and was like, "Oh my god, Texas is coming." Ran up and closed it and r and you drank it.

And now I have bubanic plague. Should we make water bottles with fake r mice in them? Oh, wow. No,

like a mice uh mouse ice cube thing. Oh, that's cute. Actually, just a toy one that floats in there.

Um I think we might get sued chokingwise. I guess it could be huge. Yeah, it can't fit out the hole. You'd be surprised.

What you can choke on. Oh, what you can sue. Yeah, I just heard a story about someone I'm afraid to tell him.

Oh, what? Well, just someone sat on the hot bar at at a Whole Foods and they burnt themselves and then they sued Whole Foods and now they're the reason that there's a sign. And I said to my kids that's

I said, "What's this say? You pick up the tongs and slam them into your eyeball." Well, we got to have [ __ ] signs on the tongs. Don't slam these into your eyeballs. I don't like this story

on the hot bar. Yes. And got burned. Why do they Ew. Well, also that there was a childish, old enough child that I, you know,

I have to say something that is so disgusting that someone's butt was on the hot bar.

I think they were clothed. I don't care. They farted in their pants and put their pants on the hot bar.

I know. Uh yeah, maybe um Hopefully she sued them. Exactly. Exactly. It might have been Gellson's. I'm not sure. So don't sue me if you're either of those stores, but apparently this happened.

It could have been Lazy Acres. My kids were thrilled by this story and I was like, "This is not a good story. This people shouldn't be suing companies for sitting on top of a hot bar."

Did the kids think like, "Yeah, stick it to the man, I guess." Or I don't know. They just probably cited someone they knew had a story that involved changing a policy at a grocery store.

One of their friends who sat on the hot bar. It was Yeah. Yeah. Or one of their friends sisters or something. I don't know.

Oh my god. Don't Please don't sit on the hot bar. Yeah. That's I feel bad because I'd like a buffet in theory. I used to like them a lot. We know you love a buffet.

Love. And it's getting the older I get, the more I resist a open food situation

because of you're afraid of um I'm just like ew. Like too many people breathing on it. Like I just don't trust people.

Sure. Anymore. That's why these salad bars often they have such a restrictive plexiglass plate over it so you can't cough on it that it's nearly impossible to get your arms under the thing and operate. And I'm like I'd rather take on some illness and have the freedom to move and do my magic.

You want that? Yeah. I want to I want it wide open so I can operate. Oh no. But you know me, I'm a risk taker. I'm an adrenaline junkie.

You also have ger stuff. You have weird stuff. Not very much. I guess you just don't like fish.

Yeah, I think you're confusing fish and germs. I guess I work under the assumption you're going to get every single germ and it's kind of a waste of time to worry about it.

Okay. Well, I disagree. I don't think you have to get lististeria and and you actually you don't you do not

lististeria won't be born from the people coughing on it. That's that's that's coming from the field. Yes.

So that's I don't want lististeria, right? But we're trusting that whoever put that huge vat of lettuce cleaned the lettuce.

Yes. But okay, this will be a very unpopular opinion and people will be mad about it. But it's like when we have friends that are like they were going to come over and they're like, "Uh, I don't think we should come over cuz so and so got sick." I'm like, "Well, great. We're either going to get it today or we're going to get it in 4 days. We live in LA. Our kids go to a schools. I'm going to get everything. So I was like, all I'm doing is picking what time I think is most convenient for me to get a cold."

Yes. I totally disagree with you. Yes. Um I often avoid many sicknesses by just not seeing the person that's sick.

I think some people's lives are controllable in that manner, but I think once you have kids that are in a public school that that's there's no control. It's like whatever is in the gen pop, you're going to get because they're going to be at school with other kids that have it. So, and maybe this is just me accepting the reality of my last 13 years, which is like when you have kids, you're not going to be able to choose who you interact with.

Mhm. That's out the window. Sure. So, when we have friends that are like, you know, so and so's sick, I'm like, "Yeah, well, if it's in her school, it's in my kids school, or it certainly will be by Tuesday, and then they're going to bring it home to me." It's like, it's just all we're talking about is timeline.

Yeah. But sometimes timeline makes a difference. It's like if you have a huge [ __ ] thing at work or you have something big and you don't you're like I'm not I don't want that

right for that. I want it on the weekend. I'd rather have if I have to get it I got to get it a different time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of sicknesses, um I was at the hospital visiting a friend

for a positive thing. For a positive thing. But that's my whole point. Hospitals are so they're such a mind [ __ ] cuz the best possible things are happening there and the worst possible things.

Sure. Life is coming into the world and life is leaving simultaneously. The circle of life is all in that city block

in one building. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I was visiting a friend who had a baby and I was pulling up and I could feel myself. I was like getting kind of anxious as I was like driving up to the hospital

and I was like what is this feeling like? Is it what what and it was like at night and I was kind of tired. So I was like oh maybe I'm just tired.

But then then I was like no I really I don't want to be here. I don't like hospitals at all. And I it was kind of a new realization and maybe it's maybe it's newer the older I get. Uhhuh.

And where I know like, oh, death is upon us. Yeah. Um, and I just I did not like it there. And

and I was happy to be there to support my friend. I was really happy I went. I wrote in my journal. That was the best part of my day.

Yeah. I don't know if that was like a lie to myself, but I was happy. Do you find that you lie in your journal a lot?

No. Okay. Well, I don't know. Sure. No. No. Like I'm writing down the correct amount of water. I'm writing down the correct amount of alcohol. I'm I'm I'm doing it. But I was

But are you writing down takeaways that you wish were your takeaways versus what they really were?

No. Like yesterday I wrote, "Am I depressed or do I have an infection?" Mhm. That was in my notes section.

Okay. Um uh no, I think I'm pretty honest in there. Okay. Anyway, so I was just like very overcome with the idea that these nurses there's like and they're so happy. Some nurses came in and out like

they're truly a special breed. They're the best we've got. They really are. And and we're so lucky like to have them. It's so

truly and like the NICU nurses and stuff. I Because at least the doctors you're you're like, "Oh, the doctors are rich."

Exactly. But the nurses aren't rich. And and you're like, "God bless." The nurses are doing the dirty work.

95% of everything. Yeah. They're doing a most of the work and all the dirty work.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The thankless work. The thankless work. And they're so smiley and that the patients are often quite cranky. They're in their worst mood they're likely to be in their whole life.

I know. So, I was so They're amazing. I mean, truly, I'm not pandering to anyone. They're [ __ ] mind-blowing.

And there, you know, um, one of the night nurses my friend was talking to and was like, "Why why do you do the night shift?" You know, they work 7 to 7. And she said, "Well, then, you know, I get to be with my kids during the day." And my friend was like,

"Well, when do you sleep then?" Yeah. And she was like, "Well, I nap when my kidnap." Basically, I nap when my kidnaps. I'm like, "You get one hour of sleep a day? like this is and she's so smiley and happy and kind and I mean it's they they are really special and then they have to see so much death. I wish my dad were had had been a little gentler on some of the nurse staff uh towards the end, but he got a couple wild things in his mind that he thought had happened, you know, as after he got brain radiation and stuff. There were a couple things where it's like I showed up and he was at war with the entire nurse staff.

Sure. Because they Well, they had come he had this story about how they had come in in the middle of the night and like assaulted him in all these ways. And as I was listening to the details, I'm like, I think they changed his diaper. Like I think that's that's what happened. But it is like delirium. Yeah.

It was this crazy event that happened. Yeah. But they're used to that cuz like a lot of patients with dementia like my grandfather too like you know.

Well after that I start every time I came I brought flowers for the nurses and I would say to them thank you for your patience with my dad. I was afraid he was going to get kicked out. I'm like he needs to be like like bud you bet if you get kicked out of here. What the [ __ ] Back to the hospital thing.

This is a brag. I do think my superpower as a person I just isolated this recently uh cuz I was going to see a friend that's very ill and uh Kristen was like as I was leaving she's like I in some way like you know oh this will be hard you know good luck kind of a thing

and I said oh I'm going to have a blast like I that's what I can do I can have a blast anywhere that's that's the thing I can decide is like I'm going to have a blast here and I've been in the hospital quite a bit in my day visiting people And for the most part, it's been a party, you know, like I just I can that's the one thing I can do is I can figure out how to have fun nearly anywhere. Or my um Lincoln and Kristen went to a funeral in Toledo leading up to it. You know, they're of course somber. They're also sad about the person

and I said, you know, don't forget a lot of times these funerals are so [ __ ] fun because you're seeing a bunch of your family members you haven't seen in a long time or even in Lincoln's case meeting some that she hasn't met. and um this funeral. Yeah. Halfway through they bounced and went uh sledding

with cousins she had never met. And I was like, you know, these things can turn into a always be open to the fact that they can turn into a party,

right? I do not sell you on this. I think that's right that you I I think you do do that. I think you can do that and you do do that. And

it's like my one skill. I can't fix anything that's going on with these friends and family members I've had that have gotten ill. Like I can't I feel so powerless.

There's nothing that can be done. Um but then I think well the only thing I can do is like I can be a party when I'm there. I can be I can try to be

a reprieve from the heaviness of all this. Sure. Yeah, that's true. I mean for the person that's like sick, that's a huge gift.

Unless they're like, "Hey, why are you so goddamn happy, man? I'm [ __ ] dying." I guess it could go that way.

Well, it's not time for jokes, my friend. Depends on who it is. Yeah, everyone's different.

I I think if you're sick, you want lightness probably mostly. So, that's probably good to have you around.

I think the flip of that coin cuz all super powers have a dark side. Have a dark side.

Yeah. Yeah. Um double-edged sword. In some ways, I think that there's a compartmentalization that you have to do to do that, right? You have to be like, that part's not here.

I just simply go to if I were them and I was towards the end, the last thing I would want is to watch person after person come and cry in front of me and me to know I'm the source of all this sadness. That would be very hard for me with my disposition,

right? Like I have always been trying to make everyone around me as happy as possible. So if I was the source of all this sadness around me, that would just be a very miserable last period for me. It's like, oh my god, all these broken all these people's hearts. This is like one person, you know, I I just So I just I assume right or wrong that they're in that situation that they've mostly been dealing with people coming in and crying.

Mhm. And then maybe even feeling inclined to have to comfort all these people. And so yeah, I want to I want to I want it to be like we have limited time to party. Let's do it.

No, no, I don't mean for the person. I mean for like for me Well, what is true probably is that quite often I don't experience the thing that people were experiencing in the hospital room till months later.

So I do think that is true. Like I'll I'll I'll I'll get a wave of sadness post everything.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. with Barton. It wasn't until I got on an airplane to fly to Detroit where I was like, "Oh my god, all that just happened, you know, cuz um I wasn't allowing it to happen at the time." I don't know which one's better or worse, whether I feel it a month later or in the moment. I don't know.

Yeah, I I I don't mean Yeah. I I don't think it's there's better or worse for it's just individual. But I wonder if you expect more people to have that mentality. You're very very quick to move on to like the bright side, the happy side, the remember funerals can be a party.

Can't spell funeral without fun. Fu n sure that part. And I think that is definitely a way that you cope, but I don't think it's how every I think a lot of people like need to feel it.

Oh, sure. Yeah. I don't I don't I I don't think most people are like me in that way. For sure.

Yeah. Now, this is borderline a saccharine story, but truly it's one of the most exceptional things I've ever witnessed in my life, which is I was in Afghanistan with Tom Arnold. We were in just starting this comedy show we were going to do. Um then they started firing the the halitzur which is this huge cannon. It's shaking the whole thing. We're on this tiny little base on the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan. And they come in at some point. There's a lot of firing, firing, firing. Then they come in, they go, "Okay, it's over." Um go out to the flight line. Um um they're bringing back um two dead soldiers and like four wounded soldiers. And so they take us to the flight line and they teach us how to salute and we're going to do this whole thing. Right. And now it's getting really intense. Like um it's also that the air is incred like it is all very memorable. It's like very warm but it's it's raining and we're

saluting and it's emotional. And they play they're playing the bag pipe. Yeah. And I'm like wow this is [ __ ] crazy real. Like how am I standing here?

Yeah. And then after the where we salute they send us back to our little temporary where we're staying in these barracks. And then about 20 minutes later they come in. They go okay guys you are up. Go into the emergency room. Oh,

um, we want you to talk with the guys that are wounded. And now I'm thinking like, are we um qualified to go do that? I mean, this is these guys are like 30 minutes out from being ambushed.

Yeah. So, we go into this um little tiny plywood hospital where they are like they're doing some radical stuff on these guys really quick. And I I see them put an X-ray up. They've just x-rayed this guy that they've just also wheeled over. And I can see he has shrapnel all over his chest, right? So this guy's quite [ __ ] up. And without missing a beat, Tom Arnold stepped up. He's like, "HEY BUDDY, WHERE YOU FROM?" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. AND Tom started letting it rip. And he's telling stories about Roseanne and about all this getting stabbed in the chest in the kitchen. And this guy is starts laughing so hard that the doctor has to come over and go, "Okay, hold on. Hold on. Back off a little bit.

That's nice." And I was just sitting there. It was the Tom show. I wasn't involved at all and I was just watching like this is insanely powerful.

Yeah, this thing Tom Arnold can do fearlessly without any He just ran right in there, started letting rip. The guy had already been given morphine, but that wasn't necessarily changing anything. But this it was it was insane.

Yeah, that's amazing. And I was like on the verge of tears watching this power Tom Arnold had uh and what he did to this dude in this moment. Um, and then we then went on to other bases and blah blah blah. And then when we got back to the main base, we ran into that dude. Um, he had been sent there for more medical treatment and he was well enough that um, we saw him and yeah, the way he thanked Tom for that was like

that's huge. It was incredible. Yeah, that's incredible. I think that's great if you can give someone that.

Yeah. Like what he bought him in that moment is like you can't there's not even a drug you can give somebody for that.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I showed Lincoln your favorite movie. I know you just heard that in the previous interview.

Movie. Yes. Top five. Oceans 11. Oceans 11. So good. What' she think? So she loved it. Yeah. It's so clever.

It is. It's so clever. What a screenplay. It's so fun and smart. Like you are trying to figure like you the way it all comes together in the end.

Danny Ocean's very clever. He's very clever. It was fun for her, too, cuz I think she's only been seeing Brad Pitt at his current age.

Yes. And for her, not me, he's a very old man. That's wild. You know, when you're 12, a 62 year old man is quite old.

Yeah. So, seeing him at whatever he was in that movie, I think it was 2001, he was probably, I don't know, 40 or something, but he looked probably 35.

He looks so youthful looking. And she was like, she was getting it. She's like, "Oh my god, he's so cute." I'm like, "Oh, no. I know. that whole cast. Oh my god.

I know. Everyone I heard they're doing another one with the original cast. I don't know if that's a rumor,

but I hope they bring them all. Everyone is so good in it. Casey is so funny in that movie.

Um, everyone's great. Cheetah's incredible. Damon's. They're all [ __ ] phenomenal.

I know. What a movie. And no women. One woman. One woman. Julia Roberts. Biggest movie star of all time.

Yeah. and she has a few scenes. Yeah. But it's just funny because as this already came up in this interview we just did, but yeah, as I watch all these movies with my daughters, it's like it's almost impossible to not acknowledge that there was almost no women in any of these movies. We that were huge.

I know. I mean, obviously women know that, you know, like women see it and understand. I do think it's it's reasonable, but it is so funny that it it requires like having women in your life. not even like a wife, but like do specifically daughters to be able to like see the injustices for women.

But you just said we knew. But do do you think that's true? Because like Kristen will be the first like when you were watching Oceans 11, were you thinking there's no women or were you just enjoying the movie?

No, I was. I think now you're were cognizant of it. But we were in the water at that time. I don't even think you noticed cuz it's all that existed. Well, no. You know, like No, you enjoy the movie, but you're aware that like

there's one female role in a movie that you'd want to have. Mhm. Or there's two. There's the role and the best friend often and that's it.

Yeah. So when you're an actor, even when you're just like an acting class looking for scenes and stuff, like you're very aware like, "Oh, th this is limited or there's two tropes only."

Yeah. Yeah. Um but like when you were 14 and watching it. Mhm. Or like Beverly Hills Cop.

Yeah. But I didn't see that. Yeah. Just zero. Much of these movies uh that were huge.

Yes. Yes. I didn't notice. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it's that's just what a movie was. Exact. Yeah.

Yeah. Written by men, geared toward men. Yeah. It's men writing stories that interest them, which are going to be adventury, conquer, you know.

Yeah. But I also think men now that things have changed to an extent and are changing it. I men still enjoy those. It's just, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think we've all Yeah. Now you're like, "Duh." Yeah. Yeah. I'm just more like I'm having the um that fun dissonance of like having grown up without ever thinking of anything and then you know, and this is just this this goes for a bunch of things.

Totally. Yeah. It's pretty weird. You know, you watch movies with from the 80s with your kids and it's just like there might be a fat runner that goes on for like 13 scenes over the course of the movie. There might be

I mean, my god, uh Revenge of the Nerds. It's like they they rape a girl and it was a huge hit movie.

I know. And you're like, "Oh, but they're nerds. You feel bad for them." Like, it's insane. You watch it now, it's just like, "Wow, I just don't understand how that wasn't obvious to me back then."

It is. It is. So, it is crazy how time um moves. Yeah. And society moves and what's acceptable moves. And I think that is, you know, when we when we get into like, oh, like everyone's so woke. I think that's just like a tension with the changing times. Like at some point

this is going to look crazy. Something's going to look crazy. People are going to watch it and be like, "Oh my god, they were saying that they were doing that. They evolve, you know, and I think they'll always be a group that's like,

what? We should be allowed to do that. We should." But it's like we got to keep evolving.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. Tears. Tears. Um, okay. Oh, I also wrote, do you think Asians have a resistance to water?

Could they? How much water does? You know me, I like to I know Asians have a resistance to lactose.

Okay. It says there's no biological resistance or genetic inability for Asians. Oh, this is confusing. To swim or float in water. That's not what I'm asking. Yeah, there there's no nobody's allergic to water.

Not allergic. Not allergic. Okay. But just like maybe it doesn't. Okay. First of all, you know more than anyone there's no such thing as nobody.

No. Um there are some nobodyies. There are some nobodyies. There's no human that's allergic to oxygen.

Well, there probably is. And then they die. Well, then they're not a human. They didn't even make it.

Well, they were a different species if they couldn't process oxygen. Okay. I mean there are some things you know humans will die if they're left in a room that's 200 degrees. Uh we have some limits that that doesn't uh no one is excused from.

So yeah we need water all humans. We need water. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And um nobody's allergic to water.

I didn't Okay. But do you do don't you think some bodies could process things differently and you might not know? So, yes, people have different salinity counts, baseline salinity counts, like how well they process and or hold on to to salt.

Mhm. And so, yes, there are people that have a higher salinity count who will dehydrate slower than people with a very low salinity count. So, sure, there could be populations of people that have a predisposition to dehydration and some that are less likely to dehydrate based on that populations differing. So that is salinity count.

Ding. Because then certain populations have a high salinity count. They might not need as much water and then they might be like full off of water.

Well, no. Yeah. So we I agree with you. All I don't agree with you is that anyone would not need water.

Okay. Well, not not need at all. Just needs less. And also like totally possible

when I'm with people and they're drinking so much water and then I'm like trying to drink more water.

Mostly white people love water. Is that the It's not all white people. It's not all whites.

It's not all whites. I think it's socioeconomic to some degree. I I would love to see a graph of socioeconomics and water intake.

Why? That's interesting. Because I think rich people have the bandwidth to be micromanaging their health in a way that people are just trying to survive would be.

And so I think they they have more of a um an obsession with with water. Oh yeah, that's probably true. I just mean the way my body feels like

I'm with people and they're they're their glass is gone and gone and gone and then I'll be like I need to drink water to match, you know? And then I'll start and then I'm halfway through the cup and I'm I'm full of water. Like it is not I'm not I'm It's not an exaggeration. It's not like I'm like I'm full.

Sure. Yeah. You're a maximum water. I don't want my my cup in my body. My cupth is full

is full and it will it will runth over and it's uncomfortable for me because you know at night I drink a ton of water because of my vitamins. Mhm.

So, I'm just like drinking so much water and I'm uncomfortable for at least 20 to 30 minutes.

Wow. So, I could be a medical marvel. The only thing I would offer as a counterpoint to all this is that I do think you should be peeing more often.

Yeah. But then since I've been drinking more water because of my planner, I've been peeing more.

Yeah. And you're going to be less likely to get a UTI. Well, that's why I was doing it cuz I was like, I think I'm getting an infection, so I need to

I think there is a baseline of what we would say is healthy amount of urination.

How many pieces? And when you check into a a hospital, they do ask when's the last time you peed. Like peeing is a big marker of your health.

I pee at least once a day. Oh boy. I pee three times that in just the night. Well, now sleeping. I know. Well, now I have, you know, you get it in your head and then now I wake up in the night. I'm like, I got to pee. And then I don't. But I make myself. Okay. How many peas a day is normal? Okay. Six to eight times for adults.

Yeah, that's you're way under that. Okay. But it says, "But four to 10 times can be considered healthy."

Does it one in there at all? No, I don't do one. I at least do two because I pee first thing in the morning and I definitely pee at night. And I normally pee at least once during the day.

Three times. Can you find three on that chart? But I I probably pee four times a day. Let's see. Today I just peed.

Congrats. But but by the way, this is new. You and I have worked together for almost eight years now. And there seven and a half of those years you did not pee at all during the day.

Yeah. Well, true. Maybe I only peed once on set when I was on set that day. Yeah.

And I was there 13 hours. Yeah. Like I'm going to Disneyland this weekend and what'll happen to me is I will make it the first couple hours of the day without having to go to the bathroom.

Yeah. And then it'll get progressively crazier. Well, I will be peeing every hour. Like when we see a bathroom, I know I need to stop in there.

That's why it's You broke the seal. I never break the seal. Yeah. Yeah. You like it?

I think I like it minus the occasional infection. Sure. Sure. Sure. Now I when I'm driving I can I can alter that a bit when I'm driving.

See I think but I also pee in cups while I drive as you know right but not ever. You don't pee like eight times in a cup.

When I'm driving for 16 hours straight. Yeah. Which I do often. I will make it the first like seven hours without peeing.

And but by the time I pee I'm in I'm in trouble. And I've been wanting to pee for a couple hours but I've been ignoring it. And then Yeah. Yeah. And then again, like everything else, it starts then I'll pee 3 hours later and then I'll have to pee an hour and a half later.

Right. You broke the seal. Yeah. So I now my theory is peeing is mental. I feel like like mental a mental game.

Um we probably only need to pee three to four times. Well, I think you just read the six times.

It says the normal number of times. That's like average. That doesn't mean that's what we have to do. That's what people do. I think it's um brain power coward. Like what is that?

Mind over matter. Yeah, it's mind over matter. Mind over bladder. And yeah. Yeah,

it's mind over bladder. Um and I a lot of physicians will warn about holding pee. It can get

Yeah, I'm going to get in trouble for this because it is it's like, you know, it's not great advice to drink less water and pee less.

My mom's always she's so worried about my pee. Yeah, because she thinks about it all the time. She does.

I bet a few times a day she thinks about your pee. Yeah, because it's weird to think it's God, I feel bad for her. You know, when we were in India when I was four, I had this like horrible bladder infection and

she didn't want to use any of the bathrooms. I don't know why you told me. Yeah, probably. Or like I was

I was scared. I was in a new place. I didn't want to leave my mom. So then I got this one.

You look like everyone. You could get mixed up. Sto kidnapping. Yeah. And I already had a fear of that as we know. So then you know they were like force making me drink coconut water from the coconut.

Oh cool. Nature's hydration. Sounds cool now. It wasn't cool that I I just think it's cool that nature was provided. Me too. Also it is cool now. I would love to drink.

Yeah. They say it's very hydrating coconut water. Well, that's what they were trying to force me. And I was like no. You know I was so

stubborn. I was so stubborn and my poor mom is just like trying to cure my infection. I feel bad. I'm not going to tell her.

You're not going to apologize? No. Okay. I hope this gets back to her. Um, moms have a tough

I call my mom probably once every eight months to apologize and apologize for something that I'm now dealing with with my own kids. Yeah. Well, your mom was

I mean that spring break was the ep that was the biggest wakeup call of my life. It was like

Oh, when you took them on your own. Yeah. And I was like they were fighting the whole time. I was like, "God, man, she had a third one in the mix that was fighting

and she couldn't afford the vacation we were on. I don't know how she handled the stress."

And my brother and I fist fought. Like the fights were, you know, they were scary probably. Yeah. I mean, we'd be in the back seat like there's two lions in the back seat going at it, you know, seat belts off, rrestling around and she's trying to like read a map.

Oh, paper map. Exactly. And doesn't have any running on fumes. Running on fumes.

H Yeah, that's hard. God bless moms. Nurses and moms. This this fact check was dedicated brought to you by nurses and moms. Okay, let's do some facts. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

Claudia. I say Claudia because we have a friend named Claudia and it's more fun to say it that way and I feel like that's the German way to say it. Claudia.

Yeah, I say Claudia. Yeah, I think Claudia would prefer you. I I agree because I think that's how you say it.

And you probably say row, but I say Rowi. Oh, wow. I say Claudia Row. Yeah. But it's really Claudia Row.

It is. Yeah, it is. In fact, first fact. Um, I loved this episode. Yeah. I've been repeating. For me, the most salient point that was made in the entire thing is that poverty looks a lot like neglect.

Exactly. [ __ ] Exactly. Exactly. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and the real statistics about taking kids from their parents, even if their parents aren't what you think are fit or cuz I could I could see myself have having definitely thought that for a long time like well they just but they they aren't fit to take care of that.

They're hungry sometimes. Exactly. Or they're not good parents or what whatever and like doesn't matter.

The other option is worse. The other option is worse. Yeah. And it's yeah, that really struck me and now I've been very aware of like when I hear about the system or also when I look around at all these unhoused people and I just think like they're all from it.

I even observed something this morning weirdly that made me think of it as I was walking Delta to school and then there was a kid dressed in their pajamas.

Mhm. And uh they do have pajama days some days, right? Yeah. But no one else was in pajamas. And then this teacher was asking the student and then I just had again this thought like [ __ ] man maybe she didn't have someone that

got her dress got her helped her get dressed or and I don't know that that's the scenario. Maybe she thought it was pajam but the teacher was concerned

right and then I was a little bit like that's how this this ball gets rolling. I know

and it's well intentioned but also but bad. It's not necessarily the outcome is not better. It's really It's very hard to like

to accept. Yeah. Because I understand the impulse like, well, we got to get this kid in a situation. They can't be living in a house where they don't have clothes and stuff, but they really can't be living in a house where they don't have parents or someone that loves them or knows them,

right? You got to go like, "Oh, [ __ ] They're uh they clearly haven't bathed in a long time and they're in the same clothes six days in a row. That's troubling." But probably not as troubling as sending them to prison, which they'll have a 65% chance of happening.

Well, that's the other Now I've been so I'm like so angry about when a kid is removed from their family, I'm like, you ruined it.

Mhm. Immediately you ruined it. Yeah. Yeah. and you started this cycle and now that kid

is traumatized and probably will do something that confirms that you think this system is bad.

Yeah. And it's like don't do that. And then look, there's going to be some percentage that are getting sexually abused and physically abused and they can't be there. And then in that case, it's like we need a great place for those kids to go. have to. And even the thing about like what she which is a a fact about kinship care, like that has to be the first resort.

I mean, you could build that Hogwarts. I mean, I can't afford to build a Hogwarts, but I I I could probably Yes. help get a Hogwarts built.

I'll teach there. I'll teach What classes are you? Dark art. Dark. Yeah. And then I'll s like I'll it'll probably be hard at first to get a good teacher. So I can do multiple subjects.

Okay. So I'll do dark arts and then um I will do transfiguration. Okay. That's exciting.

Okay. Um I'm not interested in teaching herbology. So don't ask me to do that. I won't.

Okay. I'm going to teach mischief. Yeah. Sure. Sure. There's a right dosage of mischief that everyone should have in their life.

I understand. Anyho, um, okay, let's see. So, oh, how many students in Bedington College where she went? She said it was so small. About a thousand total students, 700 to 800 undergraduates and a smaller graduate population. So, very small. Trinity High School where she went and she was like alluding to the fact that it's fancy.

Okay, which wasn't for her. I looked up prestigious schools in New York City, but top contenders consistently mentioned for academic rigor, history, and elite college placement, Ivy League Plus, include Horus Man School, Breerly School, which is girls, Trinity School.

Okay. Dalton School, Collegiate School, boys. They sound fancy. They really do.

Yeah, they deliver. Spence School Girls, and Chapen. I'm probably saying that wrong cuz I didn't go to any of these.

Uh, school girls. That's the first test to admit you to the school. How do you pronounce this? Anywho, so tuition for Trinity School.

Hit me. 70,000. 70, hello. What grades does it go from? How much? Do we know? Is it just high school or is it

That's a good question. 6 through 12. I want to do some fast math with figures.

Rick, see Trinity School. Do you remember in Christmas um story the movie with Ralphie

K through 12? K through 12. So 13 times 70 would be 210 $910,000 to get through there.

Oh maybe kindergarten stuff's cheaper. I doubt it. I don't know. Um what were you saying about Christmas

Christmas story Ralphiey's father? He's always fighting the furnace downstairs. He's a freer and my dad string together uh

or he melled together a string of swear words, whatever, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That is me in this door. Oh, what's happening? My front door. I think I already told you that I took it apart. I was I was gliding on a cloud for two days

cuz I had packed this hole that I thought was going to and it worked for two days and then today I noticed it wasn't working again.

Okay. And I was like, "You [ __ ] back scratching dirty." Oh, you became two bit rat soup beating [ __ ]

Oh. And I got the Dremel out today. Okay. And I cut pieces of the hardware out.

Oh boy. Okay. And it's working incredibly now, but my ongoing battle with this door

now. Are you are you that's biblical a little bit like I kind of want to just prep you like David Fagenbomb who we had on you know and he um cured his own disease.

Oh yeah. But you know he kept thinking he cured the disease and we celebrate and then the disease came back.

Yeah that's right. Well that's what that's what stage I was at this morning. But today I cured it.

You sure? Yeah. cuz I removed the offensive piece that was getting bound up and I really studied for a long time like if if that's out of there is it not going to function and I I did a lot of different little tests and I'm like I think it will work just fine without that piece and then I cut it out and it [ __ ] works great now.

Okay, I'm happy for you. That's good. That feels good. Oh, okay. So, she mentioned she said the Tana Broly story and asked us if we knew about it and we didn't. So, I looked it up. An African-American woman from New York who gained notoriety in 87.

This is recently new new to this world. Um, at age 15 when it was alleged she falsely accused four white men of kidnapping and raping her over a 4-day period. At the end of November of that year, Broly was found in a trash bag after having been missing for 4 days from her home in New York.

This is god awful. She had racial slurs written on her body and was covered in feces.

[ __ ] dude. The feces came from a collie owned by a resident of the building where Broly was found. Broly accused four men of having raped her.

I do think I've seen a doc about this now. This that trash bag part feels familiar. Oh god.

Um Yes. The savagery that humans are capable of at times is really Isn't it shocking?

Unimaginable. Yeah, it's jarring. Yeah, it is jarring. Like when we had Elizabeth Smart on, it was interesting talking to her because I think I and I think this is to to for me to feel better about living in this world. I chalk everything up to just like mental health issues.

Mhm. I'm just like that person's sick. Yeah. Right. And I can live in a world where people are sick and do horrible things, but I it's like very um strict. Yeah. Like it makes it hard for me to like breathe thinking that that's not the case that they just are doing it.

Normal people can do that. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, you look at historically how many times mass amounts of people have participated in some pretty vile stuff and you get into the the power of your tribe, you know.

Yeah. And I mean, I guess this whole episode spoke to a lot of this, like the people she met in these prisons who've done horrible, horrible things and they are products of their environment.

Mhm. Okay. Oh, what states have adopted kinship care? All US states have adopted kinship care to some degree. Uh with many actively expanding programs, especially since the family first act encouraged prioritizing relatives for children in foster care with specific states like Michigan, ding ding ding, we like that. Kansas, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, Colorado, Delaware, Illinois Iowa Kentucky Louisiana Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Washington. Implementing distinct licensing standards for kin caregivers to access federal funds. Um, I'm not seeing California on there, which I don't like.

Okay. Um, get Newsome on the horn. Exactly. That's Oh, I thought I had more. That was it. That was it. She Claudia Rowey came with the flat flax.

Yeah. The whole thing is, you know, it uh I get so frustrated when we treat symptoms and not

I know diseases and we don't do anything up river. I know. And we know but we know so because they won't fund it and they think it's fiscally responsible but it's not. It's fiscally irresponsible. The homeless crisis is so expensive. The prison system so expensive. The state-run rehabs are so expensive. The theft and loss of property. All of it is like

it's so expensive. I know. And they think it could not cost more than Hogwarts.

Hogwarts in every city. I'm going to charge a fair amount of money as a teacher.

Monica. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. You're not allowed to. It just is like a skill I have.

No, no, no. I don't think any of those teachers were getting paid at Hogwarts. Yes, they were. They were in great roses.

Yeah, they'll supply all kinds of great stuff cuz you're supposed to be living a very fun You're eating great food. You've seen the meals at Hogwarts. Floating turkey.

Just they were they just fill up automatically. Oh, I can't wait. Okay, fine. I'll only charge um like 75%.

I'm just kidding. I'll obviously do it for free. Pro bono. Yes, I'm doing that pro bono. Dark arts. That could get a little dicey though if I'm doing it for free because then I like I might get really dark and I like myself.

When you're a wizard, you don't need money. I know. I don't really understand money. But because some are poorer than others, so I don't really get that.

I don't either. Just make money. Like obviously they skills turn lead into gold.

And they have the but they have the bank. They have They got their own currency, right?

Yeah. Gringots. Okay. I want to live there so bad. Oh, I wish that for you. I know.

I want a time machine and you want Hogwarts. I do. I breathe. God, would I zip around in my time machine?

You think I'd be a good wizard? I I want to know what you think. That's like asking, do you do you like this dress? Is this is a question that can't be answered? Really?

I want honesty. I I I don't want to answer. Why don't you think I'd be a good wizard? I didn't say you wouldn't be a good wizard, but this this is it's just ripe for

Listen, we know if you thought I'd be a good wizard, you'd say yes. I've never even thought about it.

I know I'm asking, but I immediately thought if my answer was bad witch, then that's not going to work out.

Bad witch. Whatever you're asking. Like if my answer were dark arts or whatever you're asking.

Oh, no. I'm What did you just ask? Oh. Oh. Oh, I Okay. You took it as would I be a good wizard or a bad wizard. That's right. like morally.

Yes. But I was asking, do you think I would make a good wizard? Oh, yes. Great. Absolutely.

But now, no, I don't even want to Oh, no. You think I'd be an evil one? Oh my god. No. I What I immediately thought is as I was evaluating, I was like, well, this is already an errand I don't want to be on because if I conclude you'd be a naughty witch.

I don't want to say that and then have you be upset. And so I immediately uh recused myself from the question.

I know, but I just it's we like to talk here about fun stuff and thought experiments.

Well, fun stuff's stuff where people's feelings don't get hurt. I'm not going to get my feelings hurt. I just want to know why I'd be a bad wizard.

I don't think you would be a bad wizard. But you think I'd have some things that were bad.

I'm not thinking at all about your wizard. No, I'm not going to. Okay. Well, now you have hurt my feelings. says, "You won't answer.

This is a no win. Even in a not participating, it was a loss." Well, like, yeah, you didn't. Yes. And

I It's okay if you think I'm naughty. I just want to know why. I don't think anything about what kind of wizard you would be. I don't even understand what makes a good or bad wizard. Some of the characters are likable that were bad, right? Um, well, they turn out some turn out to be good, but they weren't they weren't nice.

Okay. But they did the right thing at the end. But like Slytherin on the surface, I'm like, "Oh, yeah. To say someone would be in Slytherin is an insult, but that's not true, right? To be Slytherin is fine."

Well, there's Okay. Some people think that there's good and bad in all of the houses. Okay. And um

it sounds consistent with what we know about humans, right? But um there are traits and tropes,

you know, and and look, there's a lot of people who are diagnosed Slytherin. Yeah.

And they like mostly they all love that. Yeah. Like they're like they're taking Exactly. And Erica, too.

She says she's a Slytherin. She's really proud of it. Yeah. And I don't like that, right?

Because I'm like, guys, it's like so eye rolly to like like being bad. See, so this is kind of my point is that I know how much it all means to you. So I don't want to tiptoe in and accidentally trigger something that like I wouldn't even think would be a thing.

I'm letting I'm telling you now it won't. I'm letting you I'm I'm giving you permission to be your free self.

I'm giving you permission. M. Do you think I'm a Hufflepuff? It's okay if you do.

What do you want to be? No, we're not doing that. You're a Gryor. No, we're not doing that.

Griswald. Okay. I love you. I love you. This is probably why I'm a muggle. It's like somebody didn't want to make the decision, so they just

let's make her a muggle. And even like muggle, I don't even That means a lot to you.

Yeah, cuz that's a non-magic girl. Okay.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe"?

Dax Shepard (Host), Claudia Rowe (Guest).

What is "Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe" about?

The content focuses on a lighthearted discussion where the hosts acknowledge previous mistakes made while recounting a bizarre story about a woman who inadvertently drank from a contaminated water bottle, intertwining humorous anecdotes and personal experiences. The conversation also features a culinary delight shared by a friend, highlighting the joys and quirks of food preparation while…

What is mentioned in this Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard episode?

8 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Hogwarts, General Hap Arnold, Oceans 11, Trinity School, Argent, Gringotts. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Mind Over Bladder, Claudia Rowe, Ocean’s Forties | Fact Check for Claudia Rowe"?

The episode runs 53 min; the transcript is about 10,243 words in 295 timestamped sections.

More from Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 5, 2026.