Can White People Say It? | Open Tabs #2

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Big J Oracle, Cyp sounds, Dave Williamson, DJ Awolf
2. 20:00 – 25:00: The Game
3. 25:00 – 30:00: Chad Hanks, Mark Duplass
4. 35:00 – 40:00: The Game, Drink Champs, Drink Champs, DJ Vlad
5. 40:00 – 45:00: Drink Champs, Drink Champs, DJ Vlad, The Game

Notable quotes from "Can White People Say It? | Open Tabs #2"

• Boozier, and birdier. November 19th to 23rd, 2026. Miami to Kazu Mel on the Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud…

  about Whitney Cummings · at 0:19

• He asked the game this the is what do you think about gay rappers and the game is so not media savvy that he basically says like here's my problem with gay.

  about The Game · at 1:15

• Some what was the name of the [ __ ] goddamn comedy champ with Mark Duplass. Mark Duplass did the baddest thing. My wife's He was the best. He killed it tonight. He went through and he told the story about how he had met a girl in.

  about Mark Duplass · at 28:22

• Country on Netflix looks amazing. I didn't pitch it perfectly. [snorts] Now, here's where we get into Chad Hanks.

  about Chad Hanks · at 29:22

• Go from there to the game. The game looks [ __ ] phenomenal. And Vlad TV, is this Vlad? Vlad, DJ Vlad, I think is Vlad TV asked the game. Vlad, it might be the best interviewer…

  about DJ Vlad · at 36:28

• So I watch this on Gay Rappers. One of my favorite podcasts ever, ever is called Drink Champs. I don't listen to the podcast. I just watch the videos. You ever heard of Drink Champs?

  about Drink Champs · at 38:20

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• The Game — Person · 9 mentions · first at 1:15
• DJ Vlad — Person · 2 mentions · first at 36:36
• Whitney Cummings — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:26
• Big J Oracle — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:28
  23rd, 2026. Miami to Kazu Mel on the Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres…
• Felipe Assa — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:28
  23rd, 2026. Miami to Kazu Mel on the Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres…
• Miss Pat — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:28
  23rd, 2026. Miami to Kazu Mel on the Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres…
• Katherine Blandford — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:31
  Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp…
• Rose Bud Baker — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:31
  Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp…
• Dave Williamson — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:32
  Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and…
• Shane Torres — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:32
  Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and…
• Cyp sounds — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:34
  D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and many more. Every day will be packed with…
• Ian Finance — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:34
  D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and many more. Every day will be packed with…
• DJ Awolf — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:37
  Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and many more. Every day will be packed with live comedy shows, live podcast…
• Mark Duplass — Person · 1 mention · first at 28:26
• Chad Hanks — Person · 1 mention · first at 29:28
• Maria Sharapova — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Drink Champs — Company · 6 mentions · first at 38:27

Concepts & topics

• Drink Champs — Concept · 6 mentions · first at 38:27
  So I watch this on Gay Rappers. One of my favorite podcasts ever, ever is called Drink Champs. I don't listen to the podcast. I just watch the videos. You ever heard of Drink Champs?

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Permission to party kicks up again in 2026. Huntsville, Alabama, January 15th. January 16th, Columbia, South Carolina. The 17th, Charlotte, North Carolina. And Augusta, Georgia, January 18th. Avoid scalpers and go to berber.com to get your lowest ticket price. Fully loaded at sea is back. Bigger, boozier, and birdier. November 19th to 23rd, 2026. Miami to Kazu Mel on the Norwegian Jewel. me, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle, Miss Pat, Felipe Assa, Joe D. Rosa, Rose Bud Baker, Katherine Blandford, Shane Torres, Dave Williamson, Ian Finance, Cyp sounds, the Darksiders, and DJ Awolf, and many more. Every day will be packed with live comedy shows, live podcast, theme night, karaoke held by my wife every night at midnight, gambling, the tattoo parlor, and wild onboard events like the belly block contest, the speedo contest, smallest dick on the boat, beer run, and game night. Shirts are optional,

0:59 hangovers are questionable, swinging is encouraged, but we are guaranteed to drink this boat dry. You're not going to want to miss it. He asked the game this the is what do you think about gay rappers and the game is so not media savvy that he basically says like like here's my problem with gay people. You're like hold on one second. Stop right there. Stop right there. You what do you mean here's my problem?

1:42 Hey everybody, listen. Uh, I appreciate everyone who listened to the first episode. Thank you so much. I did not expect anyone to listen to it. Uh, and it was it turned out great. So, this is what it is. I kind of go through all the thumbnails on my on my what I Google when I'm drunk and then I I we talk about all the things I learned throughout the night and then you learn what I learned and then we're all up to speed. And by the way, my my spirals get so deep. We I mentioned this to HOL earlier, but it ends with questioning P.

2:11 Diddy's sexuality. It It starts with Chad Hayes, then gets to Ched Hayes, by the way, Tom Hanks, better-l looking son, who has an affinity for the n-word. We talk about Oh, we're going to talk about the N-word a lot in this. There's I I have a subtle obsession with where we go in this. And Chad Hayes is just he's just the the tip of the iceberg. Chester Hanks is his name, by the way. It is odd that he has such a intense We'll get to him in a second. Anyway, we're [snorts] gonna start off with something I probably haven't talked about. You probably haven't heard about it all. It's the marathon. The I ran the LA Marathon. Oh, are you [ __ ] talking about this again, Bert? Yeah. Here's where Here's why. I talked to Ari the other day and Ari said to me, "You should go back to the to the video we did of uh uh where we were uh calling you out and saying you couldn't run a marathon. You should go back to that and then edit it

3:10 together and then post it on Instagram and that would be funny." And I was like "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah." But what I came out with was basically them saying I couldn't do it in under five hours. And they were like, "That's a pretty solid bet." By the way, it's a very accurate bet. I did it in 5 hours and 33 minutes and without training. I will say that 5 hours was a really smart bet because it I was on a 5 hour pace the whole time and uh and I could I couldn't do it. So, first of all, Joey on the podcast last week said uh you should run you should challenge Joe, Ari, and Tom to a half marathon. And I was like, I would love to do that. And then give them proper training, do the proper research. These are the best half marathons in America.

3:53 Are you ready, guys? Let's see if we can Let's see if we can blow this up so you can see them next to me. There we go. All right. Best half marathons in America. San Francisco half marathon will not do it. Nope. Pass. Hard pass. Why, Bert? Because it's hilly as [ __ ] You do. You want what you want. No joke. If you're going to do a half marathon, Google the easiest half marathons. Like there's actually there's actually a website I found called the fastest marathons, meaning it's all downhill. Like a slight downhill. You're just cruising at your [ __ ] go go go ghost G ghost. God damn it, bro. You [ __ ] Not doing the San Francisco half marathon. Although it would be cool to run across the Golden. They probably don't shut down the Golden Gate Bridge.

4:40 I don't know. They shut down all of LA. Yeah, I guess you're right. Airbnb half Brooklyn marathon. That's not happening. I [ __ ] hate hipsters. I hipsters were on the course when you go through Silver Lake and when you were down oddly enough on Sambinte, just off Saminte towards No. Uh, it wasn't Saminte, it was Beverly Hills on Burton Way. I think it was Burton Way is where you run. [sighs] I've never wanted to stop and curb a person more cuz everyone holds up signs like that's their they hold up signs throughout the marathon like uh seemed like a great idea four months ago like to me like it's their time to shine man it's their Twitter like ah this is what we did before Twitter I'm a throwback hipster oh I wanted to [ __ ] seem like a good idea four months ago yeah it did it seemed like a great idea this morning as well it's actually seems like a great idea right now. I'm accomplishing

5:36 something I've set my mind to and decided I was going to do. It's a bucket list adventure. And you [clears throat] know what? You're the [ __ ] loser. You're the loser that woke up and made a [ __ ] sign. You're the one that went to CVS last night like a child putting together a project. Got a a piece of poster board, some glitter, and some markers. You're [ __ ] grown man. You're 45 years old and you got glitter and markers. Guy's like, "Uh, bachelor party." He's like, "No, marathon." Oh, you running? No, I'm being snarky on the side. I'm going to be on the holding up sign so that like when they run by, they're looking at it and they're like, "You got me, bro. [ __ ] off, asshole." Okay, [ __ ] you and [ __ ] I'll choose my words wisely here. Uh, I'm not pleased with the feminists.

6:28 I did not need uh your politics during the race. Okay. So, for all you young ladies who held up down with the patriarchy, uh, time's up. Like, I get it. I get it. I'm not saying, you know, I'm not Colin Kaepernicking you right now and going, "There's a time and a place." But I really didn't need it. By the way, we're one person at this moment. We're all running a race together. We're not looking at each other as like, "Fuck this [ __ ] I hope I can impress her somehow." No, I'm looking at her like, "You got this."

6:59 Like, we're all talking to each other as a [ __ ] team. You're missing the point of a marathon. And by the way, uh, the patriarchy is watching a woman's [ __ ] pants right now and not taking a picture of it because I might be there, too, cuz we're on the same field right now. We're both running at a 1244 pace. We are the exact same [ __ ] human being. There is no stronger man, stronger woman. We are both struggling and your mom just [ __ ] her pants. Okay, so go [ __ ] yourself. How you like that? How you like that?

7:31 Bert's taking a political viewpoint. I'm trying to It's probably not coming out right. It's probably coming out very misogynistic, but it was like you're missing the point of the marathon is that I am getting beat by women. Yeah, I'm well aware of that. They're beating the patriarchy. Not doing the Napa wine half marathon. Not do I do the Rock and Roll Half Vegas marathon. Rock and roll Vegas. It starts at night and you end at like [ __ ] I think you end at midnight and then you go party your balls off. That's the thing about a half marathon.

8:02 A half marathon is kind of like just sending an insurgence, right? A marathon is a full-blown [ __ ] war. When you get done a marathon, you get done and you're like, I'm out. I'm going to go I'm going to kiss my wife. I'm going to go spend time with my family. I'm going to get drunk and I'm going to appreciate what I have at home. I am done with you people. I'm out of here. A half marathon is like, "Okay, so we're going into Kuwait and we're going to set up bases and then let's chill for a little bit." And that's basically a half marathon.

8:29 That's why half marathons are fun. You get there and you're like, "Oh, we should go in. I hear [clears throat] they have like a a camel [ __ ] a woman. Should we go look for that show?" And you're like, "Oh, yeah. That's a half [snorts] marathon." Disney Princess half marathon pass. Monteray half marathon pass. [ __ ] Monterey. Oh, maybe I'd do that. I don't know what I don't even know Monterey is. Me neither. [snorts]

8:50 I'm I'm I'm just hoping it's not hilly. Boston's run to remember. Oh, can I tell you something? I mean, not to get super solid, but like I just to put this in perspective, the I when I was running the marathon definitely I was thinking like this is where bombings happen, you know, like the Boston Marathon. What really sucks is that all those people had to qualify those like that. Like you have to qualify for the Boston Marathon. You have to qualify for the New York Marathon. You can't just [ __ ] go in and sign up. I think I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about that, but I think you have to qualify for them. You have to run like a 3h hour and 30 minute marathon to get into the Boston Mar. You can't just go, "Hey, I'm going to the Boston Marathon." Or maybe that's for people who don't live in Boston. I wonder if you're a resident if you can.

9:42 I don't know. That's a good question, Bert. Anyway, Charlotte covered bridge half marathon pass. All right, let's get out of here. Here is this. This is the video I was looking for, but I couldn't find it. This is Thank you, Pizza Clip King. This is

10:00 got five has to be a good mark because after that three hour mark or even doing the half you're going to hit a real [snorts] tough wall but you also will be running with a pace group though

10:10 wearing the exact same hat and the exact same shirt time which helps. Yeah. And I'll be running with them like I have to go with them no matter what. I have to go with them.

10:18 Five hours. 5 hours. 5 hours. That's hilarious. I don't even know what I'm saying.

10:22 I've been thinking about draining my bank account to bet you. That would have been a good [ __ ] bet. Five hours is undoable for me without training. That would have been a really good bet. That would have been a really good bet [cough] because I would [clears throat] have hurt myself. I would have definitely hurt myself if I had done five hours.

10:40 33 minutes less than you did. It's undoable. Mhm. This is This is what I like about me, but Leanne hates about me is I love talking out of my ass. I love a bet. I love a gamble. I love the gamble where you go like I what I like about me is like I I don't know anything about guns. So I went and bought two guns cuz I was like I don't know anything about gun laws so I'm going to get involved in it. Like I like that. I love that I [ __ ] thought I could run a 5-h hour marathon. My dad was like buddy you can definitely do it. 5 hour marathon. Just so you know my pace was 12 hours and 44 minutes across the board. That was my pace for the whole marathon which is pretty slow.

11:23 That's like a I want to say that's like a 4.7 on the treadmill or like a 4.9 on the treadmill. Um 11 Oh, I can tell you right now 11 minutes and 27 seconds would be the pace that I would have had to keep up. I ran

11:43 at a 12 minute and 44 second pace. I couldn't have done it. That would have been a really wise bet on Joe's part.

11:50 Come on, Joe. Five hours. What are we doing here? I like this. Wait. Do you think he can do it in five hours?

11:59 Do it. Wait, hold on. I don't get a saying this. This is me trying to I remember being here and I This is me trying to do the math on whether or not I could do it in 5 hours. Cuz I'm trying to do the math going, "What is that on a treadmill?" If you had told me it was 11 minute and 22 seconds, I would have taken the bet. I'm thinking Ari and I could make some serious money on

12:20 Let's get Let's get a Let's get a course that [snorts] we're talking because we're not going to camp do one in Colorado. Obviously,

12:25 I want I want to I would have taken the LA Marathon course cuz it's all downhill.

12:30 Boston. It'll keep you late. I want to say Boston 5 hours. You would have to really prepare.

12:37 Yep. That's a That's a very accurate statement. I don't like that Joe's right in this. I wanted to be right. Like I I like I like I just wanted I wanted in this moment I wanted to win this bet.

12:51 You're like I'll go run it right now. He's willing. I want to see what he's in shape right now.

12:55 So wait he you have to really prepare to do 5 hours. I think you could do it. I'm not saying you couldn't do it if I'm not giving you a year. Idiot. [ __ ] You're going to do it. What's the next marathon you're getting on? What's what what city are you going to be in? You're going to be

13:10 [ __ ] Ari. By the way, these are all if you had done the exact same thing I had, you would have trickled all the way to the end where I'm going. This is the new Melissa McCarthy movie. I love I love Melissa McCarthy. My wife met Melissa McCarthy one night at a party and my wife had been, by the way, uh this may not be true. Um my wife had been to her agent the day before and the agent her agent was like, "You need to make a call. Are you going to be overweight or you going to be skinny? like you either need to lose 10 lbs or gain 15. And my wife's like, I'm not gaining 15 and I can't lose 10.

13:46 And uh which by the way, I [ __ ] wish she still had that agent. And uh and so uh shout out to Wife of the Party. My wife's podcast this week is all about uh how bad I am in bed apparently or how good I am in bed. I don't know. Probably bad. Anyway, so my wife is at that party and Melissa McCarthy was there. Melissa McCarthy and my wife are in the kitchen and Melissa McCarthy is just shoving cheesecakes in her face like just [snorts] and my wife's like, "Whoa, slow down." She's like, "I just talked to my By the way, that's the lie part." Um, they're just having a glass of wine and Melissa McCarthy, my wife tells Melissa McCarthy what happened with her agent and Melissa McCarthyy's like, "Yeah, I had the same conversation with mine and I just was like, "Fuck it. I'll stop trying to be skinny. I'll just be who I am and be funny." And and I like Melissa McCarthy's role roles and all everything

14:35 she's done. I've liked everything she's done. But this movie, uh, can you forgive me? I, by the way, I'm obsessed with trailers. I'm obsessed with trailers. I'm obsessed with trailers. If you ever want, please shoot me a link to a trailer on Twitter. A good one. My favorite trailer, by the way, sidebar, Let's Be Cops. It's my favorite trailer. Probably Let's Be Cops. The trailer was [ __ ] amazing.

15:03 I remember that. That's really funny that you say that. It's a great [ __ ] trailer.

15:07 Yeah. Um, but this trailer is pretty good. Looking to the right side of the box. I'm just getting out of there. Oh, Isla had a project at in the middle of the night. Uh, at like 10:00 at night, we're getting ready to put the girls to bed or 9:30 at night. We're putting the girls to bed and Isla comes to me and goes, "I have a project I have to do." And I was like, "What?" She goes, "Ancient Chinese food." And I was like, "Are you [ __ ] kidding me? It's It's like almost 10 o'clock at night." She's like, "Mom's going to be really mad." And I was like, "Yeah." And rightfully so. Me and Lean are supposed to watch my special. I'm going into the edit bay in an hour uh to go finish put the final cut on my special.

15:47 All I will say is I am very happy with it. That's awesome. There is uh I'm not I'm not going to brag on it or anything. I'm just I'm I hope you enjoy it when you see it when it comes out. It's coming out on Netflix. When I did my last special, which I was very proud of, very, very proud of, I had a really hard time at the beginning of watching my last special. Like, I started watching my last special and I was really uncomfortable. I was really, really uncomfortable. [snorts] And and and then I remember on watching my last special, I remember 25 minutes in going, "Hey, I don't I I don't have any notes. Like, I don't have any edit notes." My wife's like, "What?" I go, "I forgot we're watching this for edit notes. Like, I'm just enjoying it."

16:31 Like, I go, "This is really good." And she's like, "Yeah, I forgot that I was doing that, too." And so, I was like, "Wow, we got to we got to go back and see if there are any notes." And we had no notes. My editor, Dave Harrison, is he edited my last special, and I was like, "I want him to edit this special because he just is really good with very fluidly bringing together the show, showing you wide shots, showing you tights, going in on the right tight moment. He really just knows the pacing of how to edit a comedy special in my opinion. Dave Harrison, if anyone wants a great editor, any comics out there, Dave Harrison, he's great. Pay him what he wants to get paid. It's worth it in my opinion. By the way, we lowballed him. But yeah, so last night watching it, same the intro is is the hard part cuz that's the part where your your your heart's attached to. That's the and and so we're going back and forth.

17:20 the first literally I want to say 40 seconds we must have watched 20 times cuz that's the most important part in my head. first bit comes out, I'm like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that." And then 32 minutes later, Leanne and I were like, "Oh, [ __ ] We haven't given any notes." Like, we're not we're I was I got I was so I was in it and I was doing the bits like I was like I was like uh uh she leaves me spiraling like I'm doing the bits in the chair. I loved it. It's great. So, I'm very happy with it. I'm going in. We're going to figure out the beginning and the ending. Those are the, you know, the two parts that I think oddly enough I I have my most thumbrint on. So, and we also got I want music. I want certain music. So, anyway, Isla has a project. So, I'm googling [ __ ] Chinese art for her. And this is one of the This is just what if you're curious what it looks like, this is it right here. And so, I'm printing them out and

18:23 then we're putting them on a poster board and writing stuff like, "Seemed like a good idea four months ago. Down with the patriarchy. I was like, I can't wait till you're a [ __ ] feminist island. I can make these poster boards with you. Yeah. Cuck up, [ __ ] I Man, I could make some great I know what gets to the the heart of a man. First we feast. Ah, so Oh, this we'll explain this next little thread. Obviously, eight truths about Chinese American food that no one wants to talk about. And fortune cookies aren't this all the stuff. This isn't doesn't help any of it. But then History of Chinese Cuisine.

19:03 Uh, and then I get on Shawn Evans. I love Shawn. Sean's like one of my favorite dudes. But and and I'm not [ __ ] on Shawn, by the way, but I'm [ __ ] on I've been in this moment so many times. I started watching this and my heart started breaking for Shawn. when you do something original, right, and you're a [ __ ] groundbreaker. Like, he he broke ground on on the way the internet is is doing interviews with celebrities. He really is. First, uh uh Hot Ones is one of the best interview shows ever. I watched all of them. I am such a fan. He is one of the best interviewers. He's such a real guy. Even in just like all the other stuff I've shot with him, he's so real and in the moment. There's no [ __ ] to Sean. And there's no [ __ ] to me in a lot of ways. And then you buy into the system and you go on a show like Rachel Ray.

19:59 And you're forced to like you're forced to like take notes from a producer. By the way, I'm not [ __ ] on any of Rachel's producers. I love them. They were all great. But you're forced to take not I'm just putting logistics out. You're forced to take notes from a producer who's like 26 years old, who doesn't really have any original ideas, who didn't really get into television. like they just thought it was a cool gig, you know? They were looking for something. Their friend hooked them up and they started as a audience coordinator and then they worked their way over to um to the office in the editing bays and then they kind of like, "Hey, we're looking for a segment producer. Do you want to go do a smokehouse up in upstate New York?" And they're like, "Um, yeah, I can do that."

20:36 And so what they do is they give them a beat sheet. These are all the shots we need. And so then they go out with a we literally with an executive producer just gave them all the shots we need. So there's no creativity in it. It's them just doing a school project. It really is them doing a school project. They're 24, 25 years old. Male, female, doesn't matter. It's just 24, 25. And then that goes well because they go out there with talent that knows what they're doing. And they get some shots they didn't expect to get. And of course, the executive producer credits them and then moves them up. And then one day, they go into a green room with Shawn Evans, who is a legit talent. And Rachel, a legit talent. And by the way, I'll bite my tongue on that. Rachel's a legit talent and Rachel does not suffer fools lightly. I'll just say that, okay?

21:25 I've seen her not suffer fools lightly. But Shawn doesn't have that option. He's got to He's got to kind of play the game, right? He's got to play the game. I I've been there. I've been there so many [ __ ] times. This I've been there. You can find clips of me doing this exact [ __ ] segment. practically the exact [ __ ] segment is in the bullpen. Young producer now the 28 years old kind of little little swagger to them. They know what they're doing. They've got nice handmade shoes. They know what they're [ __ ] doing.

21:59 Okay. I you know what? I've been on Ray Ray for about 5 years now. So why don't you bite your tongue? Okay. When you get out of the bullpen, come talk to me. That kind of swagger says uh Sean Evans. Who's that? I don't even know who it is. Oh, I don't watch the internet. I don't I mean Hot Ones. I don't follow hip hop. What does he do? Oh, Charlie Seron. Okay. Oh, Rachel was on this. Oh, I know this. Oh, I know. By the way, I'm making this a girl voice only cuz let's go straight to dude. Oh, I know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. No, no, no, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this.

22:32 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do all the time when they talk to you. Yeah yeah yep yep yeah yep yep yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Um, what heck am we going to do with Sean? Oh, I got an idea. He'll eat [ __ ] for [ __ ] 6 minutes. What? We'll find the grossest stuff in the world and Rachel will interview him. And poor Sean is just like, I'm game. It's a good segment. It's not bad, but it just was like, I've been here so many times where they're like, so B, we're thinking, um, we'll have you run down the middle of the audience in a wrestler's costume.

23:04 And you're like, huh? Like, how does this have anything to do with the segment? They're like, "Just [snorts] thought it'd be fun to like you're in a like a wrestler's mask and Yeah. Can they see my face? You know what? Obviously, at one point you'll take it off. Where am I wearing the mic?" Uh, the mic. Um, you know what? That's a question for audio. I'm going to talk I'm going to take that to audio and audio will figure that out. And then you get there and the guy's like, "I have nowhere to [ __ ] mic you." I go, "This isn't my idea, bro." and you're sitting there trying to problem solve a [ __ ] a young producers's who, by the way, will not be in television in 5 years. They just won't. That That's it. That's all there is to it. They won't.

23:44 They won't because of the pressure. They don't love it. If you have passion about something, you love it. There's no pressure. You just [ __ ] love it. I love television. I do. I love this. I love podcasting. There's no pressure when I podcast. I [ __ ] love it. I could do this 23 hours a day and sleep one hour. Stand up. There's no pressure. I [ __ ] sat watching TV yesterday with my joke book on my chest writing jokes about [ __ ] getting off the grid because that's all we do is watch off the grid shows. And if you're in television, oh [ __ ] Speaking of [ __ ] on

24:17 Hi, I'm Adam Scott. I don't even know who Adam Scott is, right? But I am tired of [ __ ] stale premises on the internet. Adam Scott hijacks hijacks a stranger's Tinder. God damn it. That's [ __ ] original. This is me hate watching stuff online. Like going like I'm not angry enough yet. I just want to watch a guy with perfectly manicured messy hair. Per Let's take a look at this. By the way, I I do know who this guy is. This is a guy that [ __ ] on Dane Cook in Step Brothers. He's like, "Come on, honey. Torggasm's on in an hour."

24:59 Oh, yeah. He's actually a pretty good actor. He's in that really good show with Craig Robinson. Yeah. Ghost World or something. Ghost Ghost Doctors.

25:06 He's been in a ton of He's actually a really good actor. And by the way, once again, this isn't Adam Scott. I'm not [ __ ] on Adam Scott. I'm [ __ ] on the tired ass producer from [ __ ] Vanity Fair. We're going to get out of this. I'm tired of this. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. They had him go from that to GQ. What did I just say? I just closed the window. I wish I hadn't closed the window. They Vanity Fair had him hijack right hijack someone's Tinder. I think Amy Schumer did that first. I think it was original when she did it. I think she actually took someone's Tinder and started swiping for them and they were like, "Roll cameras.

25:39 Roll." No one produced that. Amy just did it cuz she's a regular funny [ __ ] person. He went from GQ. He went from Vanity Fair where he hijacked someone's Twitter to GQ wearing the exact same outfit, the exact same backdrop. This is how stale [ __ ] producers are. Adam Kusc goes undercover on Reddit, Instagram, and Twitter. Undercover. Shut up. Or you could just go as yourself. Like, what do you mean undercover? I go undercover on Twitter. [ __ ] next. This is another Rachel Ray Sean interview. They're good friends. Maybe I'm jealous of Sean cuz I have a crush on Rachel. I'm not jealous of Sean. I mean, I'm jealous of Sean. I think he's doing fantastic. I'm proud of him. I'm not proud of him. What the [ __ ] wrong with me? I like Shawn. I don't want you to think I'm [ __ ] on Sean. I like I really love Shawn. I do. Um I love Rachel, too. And she hasn't reached out in a while. So, whatever that is. Here

26:29 we go. Maria Sherupova, what's up, y'all? Hold up. Let me take the sunnies off. I want to thank you eye to eye for

26:35 gets real about race in tennis. It wasn't the payoff I was looking for. Okay. the the what what what what read was what came up in the side was Maria Sherova gets real about pettiness and race. That's all that came out. Not race in tennis. So once I saw that, I was like pass, right? Uh it took everything in the world for me not to click on comedians defend Louis CK. Let's get out of there. Oh, this is fun for Louie. Oh, this is one of the deep dives. We got to wrap this up soon. Uh one of the deep dives I got into was uh these travel hosts that do their own vlogs. They really got the [ __ ] life. Like, if you really do love travel,

27:15 that's the [ __ ] gig. This guy, Fun for Louie, he makes millions of dollars and travels the world for free. He's a good-looking guy. He has fun. He gets like girlfriends and then breaks up with them and keeps going on and he's got cool ass dreadlocks. Um, yeah. I just got Check out Fun for Louie. This is his most viewed video. It's only got 3 million views, so maybe he's not a millionaire, but um I got into Oh, Wild Country. Did you see this?

27:44 Uh-uh. Wild Country. Wild Wild Country is a documentary on Netflix that I've been It's been popping up everywhere. It's about these uh this Indian guru who moved out into the middle of like Montana to try to start a cult. And he did start a cult. And then the a war started and his parishioners started taking up arms and became a militia to fight the locals who were all rednecks. I am watching this [ __ ] documentary. Me too.

28:12 And by the way, it's done by the brothers. Uh what are the brothers names? The Duplass brothers. I did uh some what was the name of the [ __ ] goddamn comedy champ with Mark Duplass. Mark Duplass did the baddest thing. My wife's like, "He was the best. He killed it tonight." He went through and he told the story about how he had met a girl in high school and he told her he could play the drums to this song. And then he and he lied. He couldn't play the drums to the song. And then his whole story was, "I hope she's watching right now because not only will I play the drums to this song, I'll play every instrument to the song." It was the song um was the song Don't Stop Belie. and he went and he played every instrument to the and then the other musician would grab the instrument when he was done and he'd go to the next one. It was [ __ ] badass.

29:05 Yeah, Mark Duplo is a badass dude. Um it's a hard song to play. Yeah, the Duplo brothers are apparently filmmakers. I don't really know them. I didn't know him when he was there. I was like, I've never seen this guy in in the open or in the not open mics and at the clubs, but he's not a comic. Maybe he is a comic, but he's a definitely a filmmaker. And this movie Wild Wild Country on Netflix looks amazing. I didn't pitch it perfectly. [snorts] Now, here's where we get into Chad Hanks. Okay, Colin Hanks, not the best looking of the Hanks sons, you know. Chad much better looking.

29:37 Yeah, much better looking. I think Colin's more like the company guy, you know? It's got to be tough being like Tom Hanks's son. Yeah,

29:45 it's got to be tough like just like sitting there in the mornings and you you're like at dinner and Rita's like, "So, Colin, how was soccer?" And your dad's Tom Hanks. He's like, "I lost 50 pounds for this role. I was on an island for like two months and I I mean, I learned a lot about like dial it back, Colin or Tom. Colin wants to tell you about soccer." He's like, "Fucking soccer. I'm [ __ ] I'm the biggest movie star in the world and we're gonna hear about your shitty I feel like that sometimes and I'm not Colin Hanks or Tom Hanks. I I'd come back from Travel Channel adventures and they'd be like they'd be like, "So Isa, how is tennis?"

30:24 And I was like, "Did I tell you guys I jumped off a stadium?" And everyone was like, "What? Maybe that's a bit we can work on." I I used to frustrate the living [ __ ] out of me. And I used to always I used to always end up turning into a version of Allan Iverson like, "We're going to talk about practice. I [ __ ] jumped off a stadium." Anyway, he's talking about realizing his dad was famous. It's a pretty good interview. That guy got has a I wish I hadn't clicked out of it. Whoever that guy was, that guy is a go to good radio show. Um, and then we go to Ched Hanks saying the word. Now, here is where we I start spiraling. Okay, I try to stay a word away from a lot of words that [ __ ] up people's day cuz that's my thing is like my thing is about I don't want to [ __ ] up anyone's day. Like I want you to watch me and enjoy and smile and have a laugh even at my expense to some point.

31:11 Like I don't mind looking goofy so that everyone has a good time. It's part of being a comic. I think it's a it's not selfless. It it fills a void in me. But ultimately I don't I try to stay away from words. I say the word [ __ ] in my special. But it was it was just fit. I apologize if you're a little person. And I heard this whole bit about not saying that word to my daughters because one time they Georgia was like uh Georgia was like she told me a punchline a joke and the punchline was he's a [ __ ] and we were in the car. I was like oh baby you can't say that. She's like why? I said cuz it makes someone feel like [ __ ] So like you got to keep it out of your just keep it out of your vocabulary. She was like I can't but like they're not in the car.

31:54 Like they're not here dad. And I was like, I know you'd think that's how it works, but it's you got to just trust me, if you say it a lot, then you get used to saying it. And if you get used to saying it, you'll say it when you're drunk, and then that's when you get your ass kicked outside a bar in Boston. And she's like, "Okay." And then Brad Williams came over. And she came back to the man cave. And Brad Williams is sitting here, and she sees him. He's a little person. And she like eyes light up like, "You [ __ ] snitched." And I go, "Georgia, come on in." So I bring her in. You can hear this is an old podcast. You can find all my old podcasts on btcast.com. Um, it's towards the end of the podcast and I bring her in and I said, "George, this is my buddy Brad. Uh, it's the one with just me and Brad, not me and Brad and Hefron." He go, "George, do you have any jokes you want to tell him?" She's like, "He's in

32:38 the [ __ ] room. That's" She's like, "No, I don't." And then he says to her, "It's fine to say midget." I'm like, "Brad, you're [ __ ] You're defeating the purpose of me trying to raise a good kid." Anyway, so I I have a problem because I'm a tea totler, right? Like I have a tea totler's mentality. If I'm not drinking, I'm I'm definitely not smoking weed and I'm not eating pills and I'm not taking Nyquil. I'm not doing anything, right? But if I party, I party. Uh if I'm drinking, I'll probably smoke weed if you got a joint. I'm not doing Coke. That's just not my thing.

33:10 But like I'll smoke weed, sure. Uh but if I'm not if I'm not doing anything, I don't do anything. When I'm eating healthy, I don't [ __ ] stray at all. There's no cheating. There's no cheating when I'm It's It's a little bit of OCD. And I'm that way with the N word. I'm not comfortable with kids in my daughter's school, the Mexican kids saying the N word. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable maybe because I'm a little bit of a rule follower. We talked about this on the Javier Air podcast.

33:37 I'm a little bit of a rule follower. And part of me says that if you guys are going to say it and you're not black, then everyone should say it and that should be the rule. or just black people say it. That's my rule. Just black people say it. Black people, that's their own prerogative if they want to say it or they don't want to say it. But then I started going like, so rappers, you you don't get a pass. There's no white guy that gets a pass. Then I start. So that that's where this it's TMZ said that Chad Hayes aka Chester Hanks had said the N word in a song and had tweeted it or put it on Instagram. So then I go, "What about Fat Joe? Fat Joe is not black and he says it all the time." And godamn it, Vlad TV, you are [ __ ] six steps ahead of me cuz he's got the perfect interview.

34:31 [snorts] Water on people and Rosa Parks, then you take offense to that. This is This is about the n-word, okay? And can white people use it? Can people use it? And then this is what happens. Have you ever had an an African-American person tell you they're uncomfortable with you using the word?

34:49 My man, I went I was on radio in in Chicago. Yeah. And a chick interviewed me live on radio and she she was like, "If you're like Tunino, I want to know why you use the word." And I looked and I paused for a second and I said,

35:07 she she was black herself. She was black. And [snorts] I said, "Maybe it's because I am that Oh my god. I don't give a [ __ ] man. Like, I don't think you understand. I don't give a [ __ ]

35:22 dude. Can I tell you? Hey, Vlad, I know you do comics sometimes. If I'm ever in New York, I would love to do your show. I've wanted to ask Fat Joe that question for maybe 13 years. For probably 20 years, I've wanted to ask him that question because it makes me uncomfortable when a person that's not black says the n-word. And it makes me uncomfortable for black people cuz I go, "If I said it, they'd call me on it." But they're in this weird territory where they're like, "Yeah, I understand you're part of the culture." And he goes on, this is a great video if you want.

35:59 We'll put a a link to these videos that I have of Fat Joe. It It's [ __ ] fascinating because he breaks it down and he says he says, "You can't own the word. It's part of the culture." And he basically goes on and says, "I think white kids should say it." Like like I I think I'm paraphrasing. You should watch a video. I'm not putting words in Fat Joe's mouth. But I've wanted to ask him that question forever. So then obviously, you know, I'm obsessed with hip-hop. So, I go from there to the game. The game looks [ __ ] phenomenal. And Vlad TV, is this Vlad? Vlad, DJ Vlad, I think is Vlad TV asked the game. Vlad, it might be the best interviewer of hip-hop guys ever. He asked the game this is, "What do you think about gay rappers?"

36:51 And the game is so not media savvy that he basically says like like here's my problem with gay people. You're like hold on one second. Stop right there. Stop right there. You what do you mean? Here's my problem. And but the best is the game has no control over his face. By the way, I I apologize if the game is not finding this entertaining, but there's just a is real respects real, right? Game is [ __ ] real. like he's not this like and this is what I love about this is what I love about Alan Iverson about Deion Sanders. By the way, next episode we're going to talk about Deion Sanders hair transplants. [snorts] Oh my god. Deion Sander getting hair transplants is one of the most religious experiences you've ever seen in your entire [ __ ] life. He is on the final phase of his hair transplants. You can follow him on Twitter and go watch all these videos. Anyway, the game they asked the game like are

37:48 there gay rappers? And he's like, "Oh yeah, oh yeah. Have you rapped with any gay rappers?" He's like, "Yeah." And then and then he goes, "Would you rap with a gay rapper?" And the game's like, "Yeah, but oh no, I think it was maybe too short said, "Yeah, I'd rap with a gay rapper, but not if we sang about gay shit." Like like like as if he'd go, "Hey, I want you on my track." And he'd be like, "We like sucking dicks. You're up game." And he's like, "I don't like it." No, we do. Yes, I it dude. By the way, the game is in great shape. And he's like 6'5. He is a [ __ ] monster.

38:20 So I I watch this on Gay Rappers. One of my favorite podcasts ever, ever is called Drink Champs. I don't listen to the podcast. I just watch the videos. You ever heard of Drink Champs?

38:33 Nope. Oh, okay. Hold on one second. Let's get out of the game. Speaks on gay rappers and hiphop. So good. I Googled it twice. And then

38:42 so good I Googled it twice. Uh Fat Joe. I just wanted to make sure that he was Puerto Rican. This is once again P. Diddy. Let's get out of this. And this is what we'll close on. Uh this Netflix Nicki Ricky Jerves's special is pretty good.

38:59 Oh yeah, it's really good. Well, I'm a big Ricky Jerves fan, but his special is really [ __ ] good.

39:03 Yeah. Um so, Drink Champs. So, okay, Drink Champs. Let's just show you Drink Champs, by the way. Uh, I just want you guys to know. Fabulous. Wait, who's who who are the hosts of Drink Champs? Let's see. It's [snorts] about drink champs. Let's just tell you. I want to officially tell you about Drink Champs. Nori, N O R E, periods after all of them. formerly Noriega is an American hip hop uh rea artist from Queens. All right, we all know who we all know who Noriega is. Um he's one of them. The founder is DJ FN. He's another guy.

39:56 Okay, they've got By the way, this isn't what I'm looking for because I've I've watched Drink Champs a bunch and it's always people basically Nori is the one I like is they go on, they bring hip-hop guys on and they get drunk with them. Okay, I'm underelling this. You really should go check out Drink Champs cuz I'm not doing such a great job of telling you how great it is, but they get people drunk. DMX comes on. One of the greatest episodes ever. Okay, I think Method Man, any rapper you love has been on Drink Champs. They're based out of Miami. I'm telling you right now, I know my motto this year is stay in your lane. But I definitely would love to go. I'll fly myself to Miami to be on Drink Champs. I will fly myself to Miami, put myself up.

40:35 If you promise I could do a full episode of Drink Champs and drink you guys under the table, I would definitely do Drink Champs.

40:40 Yes. Um, so anyway, I'll look I'll I'll just uh So they're talking about gay rappers and then of course on the side Charlemagne is on the Breakfast Club. He's talking about how Diddy's gay and he says Diddy Diddy's gay. He came out on drink jams. But I that's what I'm reading into it. Watch watch watch. He makes him blow out candles. That's the gayest thing you can do to a man. [cough] Hey, will you blow out this candle for me?

41:20 Oh, [ __ ] I was howling, laughing watching this last night. [snorts] Oh, [ __ ] I think I just shut it and saved it. All right, we're good. Okay.

41:27 Um, it's on here. Dude, this is what I love about podcasting. This is what I love about alternative media. And if we're going to bring this full circle, this is what I love about not having a 25year-old producer that doesn't know anything about anything producing your television shows. This is what's broken about television and great about the internet. Okay? And we'll cover all this in in one breath. Never in a million years would a 25-year-old producer ever think that I could run a marathon in 5 hours. They they would just first of all, they'd be like, "He can run it in 3 hours." they would never work it through. But because we did that on the podcast, it was just this natural conversation. Once again, if someone could isolate those audios and post them so I can repost it or steal it and put it on my Instagram, I'd love that. That is just that is four friends high as [ __ ] bullshitting. That is the Rogan

42:18 podcast, right? Then we go full circle to drink champs where it's the same [ __ ] You're seeing unfiltered parts of this, but it's beautiful. It's beautiful because it's real. That you would never get that in traditional media. Look at me. I've got [ __ ] excited fists right now. You would never [ __ ] get that. It makes me so excited. And then go back to DJ Vlad. You know why? Never. Never on the Today Show would they be like, "Hey, ask DJ ask uh Vad Joe if black people are upset that he says the N-word." They would never do that on the Today Show, but DJ Vlad does it. Hey, The Game's promoting an album. Ask him if he'd rap with a gay rapper. And but you realize what brilliant television that would be? Cuz the game is so [ __ ] uncut that he's just like, I mean, we're going to rap about gay [ __ ] Like, yeah. Napoli. Yeah. Hey, this can you give me 16 bars about eating the man's ass? Okay. All right. I got you.

43:17 And that's that. I hope you guys have a fantastic week. Um, my legs are getting better. Thank you everyone for asking. Uh, I'm going to cryogen. I'm going to Levity to go look at the edit of my special. I'm going to cryogenic therapy and then I'm going to try to throw a party at my house tonight cuz I leave tomorrow for Sacramento. So, I'm going to have some friends over. Party and [ __ ] and party and [ __ ] Have you ever heard that song? Nope.

43:41 And party and [ __ ] It's Biggie. uh set to uh set to uh Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA.

43:54 Oh my god. Oh, was a You know what? We'll just I don't care if we get pulled off. We're not going to get pulled off. We're just going to lose it. We won't be able to advertise on it, but I don't think we're already going to advertise to it. So, I think we're fine. You want to hear it? Is this This is Tell me if this isn't

44:12 We'll uh we'll fade out to this song. Here. This is You ready? I'll play it right here for you.

44:22 I was a terrorist since the public school era. Bathroom passes, cutting classes squeezing a daily routine. I used to have to bubble.

44:36 Have a great week everybody. I love you.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Can White People Say It? | Open Tabs #2"?

In order: 0:00 Big J Oracle, Cyp sounds, Dave Williamson, DJ Awolf; 20:00 The Game; 25:00 Chad Hanks, Mark Duplass; 35:00 The Game, Drink Champs, Drink Champs, DJ Vlad; 40:00 Drink Champs, Drink Champs, DJ Vlad, The Game.

What is mentioned in this Bert Kreischer episode?

18 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including The Game, Drink Champs, Drink Champs, DJ Vlad, Whitney Cummings, Big J Oracle. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Can White People Say It? | Open Tabs #2"?

The episode runs 45 min; the transcript is about 8,946 words in 89 timestamped sections.

More from Bert Kreischer

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