Transcript

Prince Harry’s Insane Vegas Outfit | Open Tabs #1

From Bert Kreischer · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 33 min · 6,388 words · 91 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Prince Harry’s Insane Vegas Outfit | Open Tabs #1", an episode of Bert Kreischer published January 6, 2026 (33 min, about 6,388 words). It mentions 11 people, works and ideas, including James Michael, Kathy Lee Gford, Tom Sigura, Los Angeles Marathon, Jesus Tjo.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: James Michael, Kathy Lee Gford, Los Angeles Marathon, Tom Sigura
  2. – 10:00: Gromins Chinese Theater, Hot 97, James Michael, Jesus Tjo
  3. – 15:00: James Michael
  4. – 20:00: Harper Lee, Sally Field
  5. – 25:00: Kathy Lee Gford

Notable quotes from "Prince Harry’s Insane Vegas Outfit | Open Tabs #1"

  • Kathy Lee Gford still talks with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. I don't judge them.
    about Kathy Lee Gford · at
  • There's James Michael. I just had him on the podcast. That was a great podcast, by the way. I really enjoyed it. this is the seating for my show. This is the show. I Google my shows. There's.
    about James Michael · at
  • Comedy store. This is where we'll get our second win. So, I'm running it with Jesus Tjo is running it with me. At mile 14 is a comedy store. We're going to stop, take a picture…
    about Jesus Tjo · at
  • But and you know what's so interesting is I'm so into hip-hop and I'm so into the hip-hop shows like Sway DJ The Breakfast Club, Hot 97. I think Hot 97 is a No, Hot 97 is not in the Breakfast Club. That's Ebro.
    about The Breakfast Club · at
  • Hate those sayings. I hate broke the internet. Oh shit. Bert Reynolds still considers Sally Field the love of his life. By the way, I'd pay to watch that porn. Sally Fields is one of the hottest [ __ ] women alive today.
    about Sally Field · at
  • Harper Lee's estate sues over Broadway version of Mockingbird. Harper Lee just died. Harbor Lee apparently was a her last book came out apparently allegedly was like a raising raging.
    about Harper Lee · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

Companies & orgs

  • The Breakfast Club — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • Hot 97 — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Is I'm so into hip-hop and I'm so into the hip-hop shows like Sway DJ The Breakfast Club, Hot 97. I think Hot 97 is a No, Hot 97 is not in the Breakfast Club. That's Ebro.

Concepts & topics

  • Los Angeles Marathon — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    The pacing and the miles, which is really important because they say the Los Angeles Marathon is a thinking man's race. Let's see if I can find the Let's see if I can find the…

Places & events

  • Gromins Chinese Theater — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Want to race. I want a sightseeing tour through LA. do something. We're going to do a picture at Gromins Chinese Theater, Dodger Stadium, Olivea Street, Little Tokyo, Echo…

Full transcript with timestamps

Permission to party kicks up again in 2026. Huntsville, Alabama, January 15th. January 16th, Columbia, South Carolina. The 17th, Charlotte, North Carolina. And Augusta, Georgia, January 18th. Avoid scalpers. And go to berber.com to get your lowest ticket price.

Kathy Lee Gford still talks with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. I don't judge them.

It's marathon week, everybody. Shut the [ __ ] up, Mona. God, man. Our dogs drive me nuts. They started barking in the middle of the night last night. It's marathon week, and I still have a cough, and I don't know what we're going to do about that. I don't think I'm going to get much sicker than I am right now. I've been running. Look, here, let's let's let's backtrack because I I think this all should start with the shaming of Tom Seagura. Tom Sigura talked out of his ass. That's what he does. He doesn't think things through. Oh, I could roller skate a marathon. But then when push came to shove, he just started backing out.

Slowly but surely. Started backing out. I Are we really going to do this? Are we really going to tell Tommy Skates doesn't really want to do this? And I know you're probably thinking, Bert, don't stoop to him and push his levels. They always attack you and you never attack them. You always take the high road. But look, I'm running the marath. You're right. You're right. I'm better than that. I'm much better than that. Let's just say what's happening. I'm running the marathon Saturday, Sunday. Uh, I performed tonight, tomorrow night in Grand Rapids and uh, and then I'm off to back to LA on Saturday. I land on Saturday. This is where it gets tricky because I probably will want to drink on the plane cuz my flight's at 5:45. So, I'll probably bring some roies, but I don't want to drink the night before my run. I want to sleep sober. I want to sleep good. I don't want to take a Xanax. I don't want to I want to just

sleep. So, I'm going to try to exhaust myself all day. I got to pick up my race pack at Saturday and then bam, that race starts. I think we I think 6:55 is when my corral starts. What's your plan, Bert? I told you, Burle the Turtle. Slow and steady. My main thing is keep moving forward in this marathon. Keep moving forward. Shuffling your feet like it's stripes. Just shuffling. Shuffling. That's all every day. I'm going to I I'm I'm going to go on the plane today. I'm going to make a a uh I'm on the flight today. I'm going to definitely drink on my flight today. I've been actually looking forward to it. I'm I might get on the treadmill this afternoon. I might run Friday, but I'm not running Saturday.

[snorts] When I ran my half marathon, I didn't run at all. You're like, "Wow, this is a fascinating podcast, Bird. I'm glad we're doing more solo ones of you just talking about a [ __ ] marathon that I've heard non-stop about." But look, I'm I'm excited. Okay, I just have meeting I had two meetings. I had a meeting with my team yesterday and then a meeting with my financial team today and [snorts] all I could think about was this goddamn marathon. And then in the middle someone goes, "So, are those investments comfortable? Are you comfortable with those?" And I was like, "I'm thinking about the marathon." And then he goes, "Oh, my buddy made uh race tats, which are uh tattoos. I I'll show you. I'll I'll pull them up so you can see them. Um race tats. The first time I pulled them up, by the way, it was just uh black power, white power, race tats.

Yeah. But this is race tats. My buddy JV did them. And uh they're basically it's it's your pacing that didn't come up. [ __ ] images. I'll show you what they are. See, you're getting all the race tats. These are numbers. That's not what this is. It's uh I I couldn't find I I wonder if it's in my messages. Did my messages come in? Nope. So anyway, uh it's race stats. It tells you the elevation and the pacing and the miles, which is really important because they say the Los Angeles Marathon is a is a thinking man's race. Let's see if I can find the Let's see if I can find the course map for you. So I can I'm sure I've Googled it. I've Googled everything I have up here that I've Googled this past week.

There's James Michael. I just had him on the podcast. That was a great podcast, by the way. I really enjoyed it. Uh, this is the seating for my show. This is the show. I Google my shows. There's Something's Burning. We're going to talk about that in a second. We got a new episode. And then race stats. I guess it's not coming up. Who gives a [ __ ] Anyway, um it the LA Marathon is a thinking man's race. I'll pull up the course so that you can see what I'm talking about. LA Marathon course. And the elevation's kind of [ __ ] up.

So, take a look at this. Tell me what you think. Where's the elevation at? Great podcast, B. Really great podcast. Great podcast, B. I really like the course elevation. There we go. There we go. Here we go. Here's the elevation for the course. I just found it.

Oh, cool. Yeah. So, here it is for the LA Marathon. not to go back. It starts at 600 ft. Not a ton of elevation change, but 300 ft between friends is a lot. And then by mile three, it drops all the way down. So the first 3 miles are going to be a fun 3 miles. It's down by the stadium. You're just running down through I think Echo Park and just going all downhill. And then throughout downtown, it gets a little hilly. You climb back up. You're up and down. Here's where it gets really good. Now, it's pretty flat from mile 7 to mile 13.

And at mile 13, mile 14, we're at the comedy store. This is where we'll get our second win. So, I'm running it with Jesus Tjo is running it with me. At mile 14 is a comedy store. We're going to stop, take a picture at the comedy store running the marathon. Of course, I'm going to take pictures throughout and post them all day to Instagram. I'm going to like I'm going to make this fun. I don't want to [ __ ] I don't want to race. I want a sightseeing tour through LA. do something. We're going to do a picture at Gromins Chinese Theater, Dodger Stadium, Olivea Street, Little Tokyo, Echo Park, uh Muso and Franks. I love Muso and Franks, uh the Walk of Fame, Hollywood and Vine, Pantageous, uh the Chinese Grommit Theater, Whiskey, Agogo. We're going to take pictures at all these, but at 14 it starts going downhill and it goes downhill hard and then kind of slow climbs up by through Santa Monica, which will be a [ __ ]

bore. At mile 20, it starts climbing up. That's when you hit the wall. And of course, the wall is mile 20 to mile 24 23. And then at 23 all the way to the end, it's all downhill. So the last three miles will just be a [ __ ] cruise downhill.

I like that the comedy store is like halfway. So once you get there, you can go "Okay."

Yeah, comedy store is halfway. Yeah, that's cool. And uh and then this is the map. It shows you that first little six miles sucks dick.

It really does. It's going to be a rough six miles, but then we're we're all just flat running all the way until we get to the store pretty much. And then once you're at the store, it's all downhill from there until it's back uphill. Anyway, I got to play this. This is This was going viral today.

What is it? DJ Envy. I don't know what that is. cuz I haven't heard of it. And then we'll end on this cuz I got to get out of here. I got to get a plane. Okay. DJ Envy walks out of the be breakfast club interview. Let's see if we can find this. I think on Twitter it'll be easier. But and you know what's so interesting is I'm so into hip-hop and I'm so into the the hip-hop shows like Sway DJ The Breakfast Club, Hot 97. I think Hot 97 is a No, Hot 97 is not in the Breakfast Club. That's Ebro. Um, he was trending today. So, my buddies

Oh, [snorts] Das and Miro. My buddies Das and Miro. And by the way, [cough and clears throat] I have vested interest. I'm fans of theirs. I know I've explained that guy who explained fandom to me to on the last podcast with James Michael, but I'm fans of theirs. I'm fans of theirs because I found them and I they made me laugh. I was introduced to them by buddy by my buddy Vincent and they made me laugh and then they made me laugh every morning. Every morning I watch them and I get a kick out of them. They're irreverent. They're young. They're they're they're hiphop. They're New York. They're just really cool guys. And then I literally fought to get on their show. I was like, I want to be on their show. And I know stay in your lane is like the that that's like the the the coverall of 2018 with Trump and whatnot.

Stay in your [ __ ] lane. But man, I did it and I wasn't I was I probably wasn't their best guest they've ever had, but it was funny [ __ ] and I get a kick out. So they go on and they talk [ __ ] about everyone. And here's the crazy thing is they really promote New York radio because they talk about New York radio all the time on their show. They have a they have a show on Vice that Viceland that is airs everywhere and they always talk about Charlemagne and freaking DJ Envy and they talked about they just blew up Charlammagne the other day because uh what's the girl's name? The black black chick Mo'Nique.

[snorts] Mo'Nique went on and called out Charlemagne and kept calling him by his street name. It was awesome. Mon'nique calling out Charlemagne was like so badass cuz you were like cuz Charlemagne was cool about it. He was a little pissed but he was like and she said stuff like don't worry the streets are coming for you or something like that you know I'm paraphrasing you don't stand behind your black women trust me and oh it was [ __ ] intense. So then this morning this is hang on let's see let's see if we can see the so I'll tell you what happened. So, I'm not going to show you the call out video because that's not interesting. But what is interesting is DJM walking off set. DJ uh Dus said something about something disrespectful about uh DJ Envy's wife. It was very light, by the way, in my opinion. It was just like, you know, she knows those DJ Envy checks because she was like, I don't know him as DJ

Envy. like I know him as my husband. Which is what my wife would say. And then he goes, "Oh, but she knows those DJMV checks." It was just basically saying like, "Yeah, it was it wasn't even a slam." Like if you said to my wife, "My wife doesn't know the machine." My wife does know the machine. But if like if she was like, "I don't know the machine. My kids don't know the machine." And then Diesa said, "Yeah, but they know those machine checks." I would be that's a diff a little bit of difference. And I would say between black and white, but I think in age of men

is like some men don't like their families talked about at all. you know, like doesn't really bother me. I think if you make fun of my kids, it would hurt my feelings or I'd be like I'd be like, "Yo, bro, why would you do that?" But if you talk [ __ ] about my wife, I probably join in, you know? But that's but things are different. And and and definitely I know this in in New York hip hop radio stations, you don't talk about people's kids or their wives. You do not. I know that. I know. And Miro comes on and says he doesn't like anyone talking about his wife. But that's it's a respect thing. And I think that's I think it's a tad bit cultural, but Kevin Brennan just did it to this guy, which was a great [ __ ] video. Great video on Jim and Sam. He just did it to this guy who said, "I'll [ __ ] your daughter."

And Kevin Brennan was like, "What the fuck?" And stood up and tried to fight him. Now, that's a little more intense than what Jesus said about DJ. He just basically said, "She knows those checks." And I think his wife was upset going like, "I love him. I'm not here for the money." You know, but then this is what happened. Okay, hold on one second. You can just let that slide though and then it won't even

No, but you know, but it's it's a hip-hop show. Okay. Yeah. Hang on. I see. Hang on.

You dig your grave. So that's DJ M walking out. No, watch Charlamagne. This is why I love Charlamagne.

Like you just don't leave, bro. Look at him. Look at him. What just mean we doing we doing a five city tour.

Brilliant branding. Be sure to check out Brooklyn. Please put the camera on chair right now.

That's why I love Charlamagne. You hear me, bro? By the way, that's an interesting slam.

The thing is he said that N word is light-skinned as if he can't take I was like, what is that? A new insult.

I guess he mentioned I did not see him act like that. I didn't know that was going to set him off.

Light skin instead of not having thick skin. Yeah, this is them defending it. Subjective. Like I if you call my wife a [ __ ] to me that's disrespectful.

My thing is he just pressed us on us. He just pressed us on air about it. We apologize. The [ __ ] should be over. That's true. You know what I'm saying? Am I Am I wrong?

And I get it. It seemed it felt like a harmless joke. But to him, people don't really know their whole story. So people do I think what it is is that people probably do say, "Oh, she's just with him for the money all the time." But he probably felt like we cool. Y'all come on the show. And Gia definitely has held him down from the beginning. Yeah. Yeah.

I love when I love what I love about hip-hop. We thought we was because like we joke on

I love when hip-hop when they're like they have to use hip-hop phrases to speak about things. Gia has definitely held him down and you're like it doesn't sound as cool when you I hold you down, boo. You know, but uh I got to get I got to here. So I obsessed about this this morning. I saw them walk out. I love Jesus mirror. So I'm watching them on anything they're on. And then I see them get called out and they were very repentant. They apologized. I think they part of them was like it is a joke. I think they were standing behind that. That's what upset him.

And then I think and in DJ Envy's defense and by the way I am the only one defending him. Twitter black Twitter is tearing him apart.

Really 20,000 tweets about DJ MVY this morning at 6:00 in the morning when this went down. 20,000. He went viral quick [snorts]

and everyone was tearing him down. And I'll defend DJ Envy in that I think he they were having fun and he was still upset and he was just being like I think he was like I'm just going to I'm going to take a break. I'm going to take a breather. I don't think he thought it would turn out to be what it is. I can't believe I'm talking about the But look, this is what I'm obsessed with. I love I do love hiphop. I don't talk about it much. I love standup comedy. [snorts] I love vacationing and uh and I love booze. That's what I and Mary marathons. So, I think that's all the all the all the stuff I've been googling. Let's take a real quick once over and see if there's anything else. The Tom Ari stuff. That was uh that was James Michael. We'll close that window out. Oh, let's see what's going on real quick in the entertainment news. I love doing this.

I love entertainment news. I I I could really be an entertainment news biographer. Rihanna Snapchat says app made a joke [clears throat] of 2000 Chris 9 Brown assault. Okay.

Okay. Don't really care. I I'm just shocked that that guy has a career. I'm I'm

Oh, yeah. You watched this documentary, huh? Yeah. And then you were like, "Ah, I just feel so bad for this guy." Wait a minute.

Yeah. That documentary was a [ __ ] fluff piece. Hitler had a very comparable one where he he shot it up as his DACA where they brought his dog up. Did you ever see that?

No. Oh, they brought it. So, they were trying to change Hitler's like they wanted to like they're like your brand's a little rough. Um, we want to we want to kind of make you a little more like user friendly. So, um, so we're not none of the Hile Hitler. That seems aggressive. How about this? How about we get you a dog? So, they got Hitler a dog, a shepherd, German Shepherd, and they bring it up to his DACA. By the way, uh, Nor McDonald's special was called Hitler's dog. So, so he talks about this in this I I don't know if he talks about this. I think he talks about something else.

Anyway, they go and they're shooting video of Hitler and the dogs coming close and there's no sound in it. And I'm sure they're like, "Hitler, pet the [ __ ] dog." And he's like, "Huh? I've never done that. I've only killed them, exterminated them." They're like, "Pet the [ __ ] dog, Hitler." And he's like, "Oh, okay." So, he reaches down to pet the dog. And clearly it's Hitler's dog. He knows the guy behind closed doors. He's had a few run-ins with him when he's had a few stines of beer and the dog just goes and whimpers away from Hitler and it backfired. But the Chris Brown documentary and by the way I'm just saying like hold the [ __ ] like hold the line people. If you're not going to be cool with people beating up women then it's got to be all people. Like I don't hit my wife. I don't hit anybody.

I don't hit people. I don't hit people. How about that? We also don't hit people. I don't like people who hit people either. And but like across the board. Across the [ __ ] board. Okay. It's the thing that [ __ ] frustrates me about this. It seems like it's a little selective. American Idol Katy Perry didn't sexually harass him. Whoa. By the way, Katy Perry, I would like to play a game called uh sexual harassment or I have a heart on. God, [snorts] sexual harass me all you want, Katy Perry. She is so [ __ ] hot. Danny Bole says he's writing and directing James Bond 25. Uh, I'd be cool with the black James Bond. Tomb Raider, Perils of Blockbusting. I don't really care.

Minaj, Drake, Travis Scott, Juju Schmid, Shustster, Twitch view. Okay, I don't care. Oh, that's the Twitch. I don't really understand Twitch. I know Young Jamie does it. Yeah,

you watch people play video games. Yeah, I bet that's [ __ ] fascinating. It's not.

Willy Wonka was on Jeopardy and the internet was so shook. Ah, he broke the internet. I hate [ __ ] lame sayings like that. Slide in the money is like it's stale. It's staleness. And my kids do that, I get mad at them. But but that ass be like, "Oh, [ __ ] off. Don't ever I hate those sayings. I hate broke the internet. Oh shit." Bert Reynolds still considers Sally Field the love of his life. By the way, I'd pay to watch that porn. Sally Sally Fields is one of the hottest [ __ ] women alive today. Still, she's still beautiful. A lot of people say Leanne looks like Sally Fields. I don't see it. New Avengers Infinity War teaser is released. Megan Markle and Prince Harry's royal wedding.

Everything you need to know. I don't need to know any of it. Actually, am I invited? Nope. [snorts] I know that they invited like 900 uh pedestrians. Shout out to Prince Harry for [ __ ] marrying a black chick, right? Dude, I love that guy. He's so much better than William. He's my favorite. And by the way, this is the same guy that wore a Hitler costume to a [ __ ] party in Vegas.

A prince, dude. What? Yeah, I'll pull that up right now. No, I'm certain that's true. I might have made that up. Prince Harry Hitler. I'm sure the [ __ ] royal

Prince Harry Hitler. Prince Harry goes Nazi. Yep. You see it? He wore a Nazi costume here. Take a look at that. Do you see that? He wore a Nazi costume to a party. He looks I mean he looks like one of those desert Nazis, though. And you can't blame them. They were just fighting a war in Africa, right? All right. Where were we at with uh Entertainment?

Uh I just looked up Sally Fields and she she does look like Leanne. Oh, really?

They look Yes, they look so close. They have like the same smile, brown hair, eyes.

Uh Harper Lee's estate sues over Broadway version of Mockingbird. Harper Lee just died. Harbor Lee apparently was a her last book came out apparently allegedly was like a raising raging racist but she was just a woman that was born in the south in the [ __ ] teens. So I mean it was like yeah what do you she was progressive for then um Georgia does this thing Georgia is reading to kill a mockingb bird and so Georgia will do the voice that is uh the the narrator I think what's her name Jyn is the brother um Scout is the narrator and she will do Scout's voice in an old southern accent but she'll tell the story in ridiculous ways and Capernac, not Capernicus. Caperna Capernia. Caperna. What's the type in to kill a mockingb bird? Capernia.

Capernia. Made me a waffle out of a flip-flop this morning. And I took a bite in. I smacked Jyn as hard as I could across the face. And I said, "Jyn, this is the best damn waffle I've ever had made out of a flip-flop." Capernia said, "Boo Bradley love." She'll tell stories and it makes me laugh so hard. Uh, what was it? Capernia.

Yeah, Kalpernia. Kalpernia. Kalpernia made me a flip-flop waffle this morning. Me and Jyn didn't want no sweet butter on it. Robert Dairo says he won't stop criticizing President Trump. Scott Mccuri discusses Five More Success. Don't know who he is. Kendall Jenner pushes back on rumors about her sexuality. Don't really care. Jennifer Lopez on her Me Too moment with the director. I was terrified. Dude, what the [ __ ] man? Who was a director? I haven't been abused in the way some women have, but I have been told by a director to take my shirt off and show my boobs. Yes, I have. I did it. I did.

Did Did But did I do it? No, I didn't. Yeah, I've been told uh I've been asked to take my shirt off. I'm a guy so I don't really care. But there is weird casting things like and then you don't know if they're doing it if they're doing and by the way she doesn't have like huge boobs. So like

who asked JLo to take their shirt off? Like don't you know? Well, there was a time she wasn't JLo. She was just a dance. She was just Jenny from the Block,

right? Yeah. Kathy Lee Gford still talks with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. I don't judge them.

Jesus. I have no words for that. I have no I mean I I have no [ __ ] words for that. I still talk to Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein. I don't judge them. [snorts] Chris Cuomo, he's off. He's doing mornings. I think he's going over to NBC to the girls party they got going over there. or [ __ ] Cardi B. I don't know anything about Cardi B. I'm keeping her out of my brain.

Escape to Margaritavville. Oh, that's gonna be [ __ ] awesome. By the way, I'm a big Jimmy Buffett fan. I'll always be a Jimmy Buffet fan.

I got really sick in Vegas from his margaritas. [cough] Oh, drinking too many of them were food poisoning.

Yeah, drinking too many of them. It was so sugary and so sweet that I I felt like complete dog [ __ ] when I got back to

Oh, my car [snorts] picks me up in 45 [ __ ] minutes. I don't think I'm going to have time to run.

Maybe I'll run hard for like 30. Just run on the mic and just explain to us how you're doing.

I'm just kidding. I wish um I talked to uh I talked to uh let's see who's on Hot Ones. I was looking up Hot Ones the other day cuz of this project we're working on and I was looking at their cast. Pretty [ __ ] pretty badass. He's killing it.

He really is. He's awesome, man. I love Sean. Sean. Yeah. Um and then let's just see. Let's just hit up YouTube real quick and see what's trending on YouTube and then we'll wrap this up. Jesus and Miro. It's all I have. Charlemagne versus Mo'Nique. The Joe Budden podcast. This is all I TK Kirkland. They were talking about uh whether or not black people find Chappelle funny. And so all the like all the there's a a genre of of comedy that is like black comics. Like TK Kirkland's show. You've never seen anything like it in your life. I I stayed one night to watch him. He's really funny and he but he's like he's he's like he's got the streets love TK Kirkland like they love him and I I mean I'm trying to say that the right way but like his shows are all black but it's when you see an all black audience like that it's not you it's not like a white audience like there they they sit differently in their chairs and

they're getting up and walking around and they are talking but they're not being disrespectful about talking and they're paying attention. It's really fascinating. It's very different than a white show. And I think uh uh Faison Love came out and said n-words don't like Dave Chappelle. Nwords don't laugh at Dave Chappelle. I'm paraphrasing obviously. He said the real word. And so then TK Kirkland came out and he actually defended Dave. He said that yes, the mostly he was playing to white audiences when he was younger, but that was the business. That was how the business was shaping him. But when the Chappelle came show came out, the then black audiences embraced him because it was funny and and I think everyone embraced him. But I think everyone discovered him, really discovered him on the Chappelle show. And by the way, I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm not saying one side or the other is right. I

will say personally, I I I can't tell you if black people thought he was funny cuz I'm not black. I've always found him funny as [ __ ] That's all I'll say. [snorts] Uh Alpino's playing Joe Pno. Uh

I have a question. You were there at that like 6ix9ine guys fight right at the airport or something.

Yeah. You posted about it and then I I remember looking him up and I was like, "This is intense. This guy is

weird." Yeah. He's a weird dude, by the way. Everything I Everything I Google is so [ __ ] Look at how I I just literally I just Google like anything black guys do that and eating contest in Rogan. Um yeah, I I pulled up when the fight was ending and uh it was [ __ ] chaos. It was legit chaos and I I saw the cops talking to the other guys and I saw them cops following the other guys in. I mean, it was like, just to put it in perspective, I was almost I checked in my bags curbside and then I got in line for security and I was with him in line for security. So, that's how close we were to the fight. Um, but then and then this is I made a mistake, but I I was celebrating him a tad bit on Instagram because he he his album was coming out Friday and it was this was Wednesday or Thursday. I was like, "Oh, of course he gets I was like, I bet he staged that fight. I bet he hired guys to come out. TMZ was

there. TMZ caught all of it. It's all on TMZ if you want to see it." And uh I mean I can pull it up so you see it. what you're like wonder why why won't you pull it up right now Bert um 6ix9ine TMZ and I was like what a genius guy for staging a fight and then you know that's so smart and then everyone was like so like by the way I'm I'm pulling up right now in my car as this fight's happening

Come on, TMZ. But and so and then a bunch of people texted me and they're like, "Yo, the Mexican mafia is after him. Like, don't call him a genius. You're you don't know who you're supporting." Like a lot of people came after me and were like, "Bert, you don't know what you're saying, man. He's not a genius. He molested a child."

And I was like, "Okay." Like, "I don't I was like, it was my Instagram stories. Like, I don't I don't really like the guy. I'm just telling you.

You're not like a fan of him. Here, here. Here. By the way, 6ix9ine kind of. This is him. Tekashi 69. The guy with the yellow hair. He kind of gets worked in this fight. Look. Watch this. Watch your watch your boy right here. Take his shirt jacket off. Oh, I guess this is going down. Let me jacket inside then. No, no, no. We're not done. No, we're not done.

Watch this. He gets punched. He gets punched. This was the fight. By the way, I'll tell you when I pull up

right here. Bam. Not a hard hit. Not a hard hit. Okay. Now, the way, by the way, these two guys are working Tekashi 69's posi and Tekashi 69's running around like, I want to do something. I want to do something. And then all of a sudden, he gets worked here. Watch him get thrown. He gets goes to fight the guy and the guy tackles him and throws him.

Oh my god. Okay, now I'm pulling up. Now I'm pulling up. Okay. Oh, he just kicked him in the face. By the way, those two guys.

Whole lot of gang [ __ ] Whole lot of gang [ __ ] Okay. Ready? No. Right. Right now I'm pulling up. Right now I'm pulling up.

See if you see Bert in the in the reflection. I'm I'm right to the right, by the way. I'm right to the right. That Cadillac was still there. Here we go. Here we go. I'm I'm really I'm watching them. I'm watching all this.

Oh, come on. Am I in my car right there? I'm watching all of this happen. By the way,

they did talk to him for a little bit right there. So maybe I was a little later but

don't close that. Don't close. Oh, I just I just froze it. Okay, it's it's saved.

Okay, cool. Um it's 11:21. I think [cough] me running today is not going to happen. Maybe I can push my my car picks me up in in an hour. If you're wondering, I'm getting uh I'm getting these albums sent to me. I mean, so many it's ridiculous. So, uh keep sending them. I'm not. By the way, I don't have the heart to break some of them. Like, I could never break this Steve Martin album. I could never break it. It's like I like him too much, you know, and I want to listen to it.

Buddy Hackett. I love Abbott and Castello. I love Johnny Carson. Dude, this is I mean this is like these are the best bits from Johnny Carson. Whoever sent them to me. I I got his name. His name's Hang on one second. Oh, the Bert coins. I want to talk about that real quick. I thought you might enjoy these vintage comedy albums to put in your man cave. Thank you, Sean Hartman. I appreciate it. These are really cool. Will the Walker Chichin Chong and then Don Ho. That's when That's when everyone starts sending me other ones where you get like Don like really kind of I wouldn't mind listening to Don. I I might have to get a record player now.

That'd be sick. Get a record player in here and just listen to Ari's records. The ones that are left. Someone sent me a double album of Wilco cuz I know I'm a Wilco fan. I was like, I can't break Wilco. That's my I like that.

That's an expensive stack of records right there. That's There's like This is probably $1,000 worth of records

maybe. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Just say that they're all 10 bucks. Maybe. Uh, they're not. Records are $20. Oh my god.

And the double albums are like $60. Whoa. Yeah. So, keep sending records. Maybe I'll start a record collection and just blow Ari's mind. I want I know how I am. Like, look, obviously I I'm taking in a ton of free content, you know? And so, I enjoy it. I'm a fan of Das Miro because of all the [ __ ] they put out online. I love it. So, uh, I just want you to keep enjoying it and, uh, and hit up Tom today and let him know that he's a welter and that you kind of were let down in him, that you really always believed in him, that you thought that he was the hero. He was the guy that you could really understand cuz he did the hard work the right way. He did the hard work the right way and he lost weight.

He followed Joe's diet to a tea. He didn't Mickey Manel gene it and just not eat for [ __ ] a month. He did it the right way. By the way, I still weigh less than him. I still weigh less than him. I've kept the [ __ ] weight off. I still lay we way less than him. And the and Mark and the movie, I think, were like, "Yo, we need you bigger." So, they're having him put on weight. I think he put on 150 pounds.

Oh my god. That's fake news. By the way, I love [ __ ] with Arian Tom so much. I can't even tell you.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Prince Harry’s Insane Vegas Outfit | Open Tabs #1"?

In order: 0:00 James Michael, Kathy Lee Gford, Los Angeles Marathon, Tom Sigura; 5:00 Gromins Chinese Theater, Hot 97, James Michael, Jesus Tjo; 10:00 James Michael; 15:00 Harper Lee, Sally Field; 20:00 Kathy Lee Gford.

What is mentioned in this Bert Kreischer episode?

11 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including James Michael, Kathy Lee Gford, Tom Sigura, Los Angeles Marathon, Jesus Tjo, Gromins Chinese Theater. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Prince Harry’s Insane Vegas Outfit | Open Tabs #1"?

The episode runs 33 min; the transcript is about 6,388 words in 91 timestamped sections.

More from Bert Kreischer

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.