Transcript

EP1 - You Took Something Away From Me

From BETH'S DEAD · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 32 min · 5,601 words · 128 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "EP1 - You Took Something Away From Me", an episode of BETH'S DEAD published October 30, 2025 (32 min, about 5,601 words). It mentions 32 people, works and ideas, including Totally Lame, Nobody's Listening, Right?, Totally Married, Los Angeles, Monica Padman.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Los Angeles, Nobody's Listening, Right?, Armchair Expert, Marina del Rey
  2. – 10:00: Totally Lame, Totally Married, Totally Mommy, Aaron McAfee
  3. – 15:00: Totally Lame, Dak Shepard, Kristen Bell, Nobody's Listening, Right?
  4. – 20:00: Unrequited love
  5. – 25:00: Body image issues
  6. – 30:00: Armchair Anonymous, Body image issues
  7. – 32:01: Andy Rosen, Casey Wilson, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman

Notable quotes from "EP1 - You Took Something Away From Me"

  • Probably heard me talk about my favorite podcasters, Elizabeth and Andy from Nobody's Listening, right? Elizabeth and Andy are my go-to comfort podcasters, and they've been a constant in my ears since 2010. So, it was really upsetting.
    about Nobody's Listening, Right? · at
  • Instructor, though I use a different name professionally. Originally from Norway.
    about Norway · at
  • Way to have them come over to our house, interview them once a week on our original show, Totally Lame. And yeah, around that time I there was like a couple shows on public…
    about Totally Lame · at
  • Thing I was here in Los Angeles to do, but I was getting paid to babysit. That was my job. And I worked in Marina del Rey.
    about Marina del Rey · at
  • Totally Married, which was you and Andy giving advice to listener questions.
    about Totally Married · at
  • I was interning at UCB years ago and saw you perform in Aaron McAfee's This Feels Terrible show.
    about Aaron McAfee · at
  • I work for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard and we have just begun talking about starting a podcast. It's literally a seed of an idea now. just a thought bubble. Smiley face.
    about Dak Shepard · at
  • Question, it came to mind because it was about something that really hit home for me, which is body image issues.
    about Body image issues · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Monica Padman — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Hi, I'm Monica Padman, co-host and producer of the Armchair Expert podcast.
  • Aaron McAfee — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Dak Shepard — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Kristen Bell — Person · 1 mention · first at
    I work for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard and we have just begun talking about starting a podcast. It's literally a seed of an idea now. just a thought bubble. Smiley face.
  • Casey Wilson — Person · 1 mention · first at
    With it because people I knew from the UCB theater like June Diane Rafield, Casey Wilson, they got me to sell my very first pilot, like got me my first real writing job.
  • Tammy Sager — Person · 1 mention · first at
    And then Tammy Sager, who I met on the podcast, she had been a fan of the podcast. She got me to sell my second pilot.
  • Andy Rosen — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Experts Monica Padman and nobody's listening, right? It is produced by Monica Padman, Elizabeth Lame, and Andy Rosen. Additional engineering by Rob Hollis. Music by Andy Rosen.
  • Elizabeth Lame — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Experts Monica Padman and nobody's listening, right? It is produced by Monica Padman, Elizabeth Lame, and Andy Rosen. Additional engineering by Rob Hollis. Music by Andy Rosen.
  • Rob Hollis — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Listening, right? It is produced by Monica Padman, Elizabeth Lame, and Andy Rosen. Additional engineering by Rob Hollis. Music by Andy Rosen.
  • June Diane Raphael — Person · 1 mention
  • Mark Maron — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • Patreon — Company · 1 mention · first at
  • LAPD — Company · 1 mention
  • UCB — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

Concepts & topics

  • Body image issues — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
  • Parasocial Relationship — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    I think it's important that I point out I had my own very intense parasocial relationship with you two. And to the degree that I reached out and met you, that's crazy. But it is all very relevant to this.
  • Unrequited love — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Idea this might be if it goes wrong. On a similar note, do you guys have any advice on how to get over unrequited love?
  • Gender curiosity — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

  • Los Angeles — Place · 3 mentions · first at
    Andy is a record producer. I was in comedy. We had moved here from New York to Los Angeles and I had stopped performing. I was just writing or trying to write. Yes.
  • Norway — Place · 1 mention · first at
  • New York, New York — Place · 1 mention · first at
    Wow. Looking back, it's so funny because Andy is a record producer. I was in comedy. We had moved here from New York to Los Angeles and I had stopped performing. I was just writing or trying to write. Yes.
  • Marina del Rey — Place · 1 mention · first at

Sponsors

  • Patreon.com/bestdeed — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    If you don't want to wait for more Be Best, you can binge the entire series today at patreon.com/bestdeed, where all 10 episodes are available adfree right now.

Full transcript with timestamps

Hi, I'm Monica Padman, co-host and producer of the Armchair Expert podcast. If you listen to Armchair, you've probably heard me talk about my favorite podcasters, Elizabeth and Andy from Nobody's Listening, right? Elizabeth and Andy are my go-to comfort podcasters, and they've been a constant in my ears since 2010. So, it was really upsetting when in 2016 they just all of a sudden stopped podcasting. It was so abrupt and I always wondered what happened. And when I finally had the chance to ask them about it in person, I was shocked.

It's a crazy story. It involves Elizabeth and Andy having their locks changed, the LAPD stepping in, and the death of a listener. When we started this project, our goal was to tell that story. But it ended up taking us on a path we could have never imagined. This is Beth's dead. Elizabeth, I wish I could give you a hug so bad right now. My husband told me that you, Elizabeth, were one of I'm a 28-year-old dance and yoga instructor, though I use a different name professionally. Originally from Norway. Were you Beth's counselor, her therapist? I am desperate to figure out what's happened.

Are you all right? I'm really excited because we have two of the biggest celebrities in my head in the attic today. Elizabeth and Andy from my favorite podcast, Nobody's Listening Right.

A Thank you. M. So, I have you guys here. It's very exciting for me. We'll get into all the reasons why, but the reason we're doing this show is because you you took something away from me. And I never knew why.

And so, this show is going to explore why why you guys went off the air. Yeah. But before we really get into any of them, before we really deep dive, we're going to take the time today to sort of rewind and talk about who you guys are and what the shows were.

Yeah, let's do it. You guys are kind of the OG podcasters. Yeah. I will say in preparing for this podcast, we we did pull our original podcast that dropped February 4th, 2010.

And Wow. Wow. Wow. Looking back, it's so funny because Andy is a record producer. I was in comedy. We had moved here from New York to Los Angeles

and I had stopped performing. I was just writing or trying to write. Yes. Not getting paid to write. I missed all of my comedy friends. And so this was a way to have them come over to our house, interview them once a week on our original show, Totally Lame. And yeah, around that time I there was like a couple shows on public radio that I liked listening to that I think had started posting as podcasts. So that's how like we even got whiff of what a podcast was. And then one of your friends was Mark Marin's roommate at the time. So that was and that was right at the beginning of Mark's thing where it was like he has a kind of big podcast that's just started. So like that's how it was kind of in the air for us. Huh.

And and Mark was a turning point for us because we had between 16 and 50 listeners for the first however many episodes and then Mark came on and suddenly it was like hundreds.

Oh wow. I found you when I was this is a time in my life also not getting paid to do the thing I was here in Los Angeles to do, but I was getting paid to babysit. That was my job. And I worked in Marina del Rey.

Oh, that's right. For those who don't live in LA. That's a nightmare. Yeah. This is a nightmare. I had to be there at 6 in the morning. I worked 6:00 to 8 and get them ready for school.

Yeah. Then I went home and then I had to come back to pick them up from school and then I was with them until

what? So, wait, what was your break in between? It was 8:00 a.m. to 3. No, Monica. I know. This is actually insane.

So, okay. Yes. So, I had this crazy commute where I had to drive to Marin, drive back, then drive it four times.

Wow. So, somehow I must have just been searching like I have no idea how I originally came across. At the time, I was at UCB. UCB was my world.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. UCB, for people who don't know, is an improv theater in Los Angeles. Very well-renowned. Um, and I was sort of obsessed with everything there, all the teachers, and you guys had a lot of those teachers on your show.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I somehow stumbled across one of the episodes, and you had already been in it for a little bit because I was able to

just binge. Uhhuh. Yeah. which is sort of ironic because well, we'll get we'll get to this, but it really got me through for so long. That stupid commute because I was obsessed. I was listening to Totally Lame.

Mhm. Cuz things were going so well with Totally Lame. You started another podcast. Yes.

Totally Married, which was you and Andy giving advice to listener questions. Yep.

And then after that, you did a third podcast, Totally Mommy. Uhhuh. which was about your journey into motherhood and I didn't even have kids also wasn't married but didn't and didn't didn't matter I was all in and you had a woman on your friend

yes and she was a therapist and I at the time was looking for a therapist right

so I reached out to the totally lame email oh my god and I said we have to find that

do you have the totally lame can you get on to totally lame I just need to get Wi-Fi on here, which we should have access.

Thought of Oh, we got access, baby. Whoa, I'm scared. Okay, we got January 21st, 2015. Hi, Elizabeth.

My name is Monica. Oh my god. I was interning at UCB years ago and saw you perform in Aaron McAfee's This Feels Terrible show.

Wow. Oh my god. That must have been how I found it. Wow. Oh, I thought you were such a fun storyteller and you plugged your podcast at the end, so I started listening to Totally Lame.

We got to the bottom of it. A mystery solved and have been an avid listener to all your podcasts ever since. It should also be noted that even though I'm not married nor have a child.

Oh my god, I'm still saying the same lines. I still love listening to Totally Married and Totally Mommy. So, one, you're great. And two, I'm weird.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Okay, this is so sweet. I know. It's so sweet. Anyway, I'm actually reaching out because I was listening to your Totally Mommy with Soandso and I was wondering if she's currently working at a practice here in LA. I've been looking for a therapist for a while and I've been researching a lot of people, but it's hard and scary to pick someone at random. It's not urgent, but it would be helpful to delve deeper into some of my issues, such as why I'm a single person in my 20s who downloads a Mommy podcast every week.

Ah, I looked online but was unable to find anything. So, if you happen to know if she's currently seeing patients and could pass along her info, that would be great. Thanks so much. Elizabeth responds same day.

Hi, Monica. Thank you for the email and kind words. I love that you found me through Aaron's show and are still listening. And I reached out to so and so. She passed along her email. I totally hear you on the difficulty of finding a great therapist. it so hard. Her email is this. Good luck and thank you again for listening. I want to read your response now.

Oh no, there's more. Elizabeth, thank you so much for replying. I will definitely reach out to her and see if uh there's any available options. One other thing I forgot to mention in my first email, I'm a comedy actress writer.

I'm going I'm going. I hate this. Which is what first drew me to Totally Lame. My childhood goal was to one day be on Oprah and then she went off air and destroyed that dream. So when I found Totally Lame and tuned in week after week to your amazing show in which I got to listen to my comedy heroes and in some cases peers, my new goal was to one day be on Totally Lame.

Wow. Wow. Sadly, another dream dead but not forgotten. Oh yeah. Basically, in a long-winded way, I'm trying to say you are Oprah, so I don't think you need to hold out on meeting her or feeling um her presence. You're already there,

Monica. Oh my god, this is so I feel I have all these feelings right now. I got to read your France. Haha. Oh, Monica, will you marry me? I adore you. Oh my god.

Thank you so much for the kind words, the kindest. What a response. It's so embarrassing.

Oh my god. [gasps] Okay. Well, we'll just move right along from that. I did end up seeing that therapist for a really long time. She's amazing.

Yes. And so that was in 2015. And then three years later, Dax and I launched Armchair Expert in February of 2018.

Oh my god. Has it been that long? That's insane. And when Dax first said, "I think I want to do a podcast," I said, "I'll help you." And I immediately thought of you guys and was sort of scrambling like who how am I I need to figure out how to do this. I told him I would figure it out. So, I reached back out to you to see if I could like potentially shadow you or I don't know, you could just show me what to do.

Oh, boy. Did I do I start with this is comedy writer or comedy actress? Her might remember me.

Hi Elizabeth. Hope you're well. I'm Monica so and so's patient. I've been listening since the early days of Totally Lame and they have all really brought an abundance of joy and inside into my life.

You once proposed to me. We're married. I work for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard and we have just begun talking about starting a podcast. It's literally a seed of an idea now. just a thought bubble. Smiley face.

But I was wondering if you would be open to meeting me so I could pick your brain on the podcast world in both theory and logistics. I know you have a family and are super busy, so no worries if you can't. I totally understand. Please let me know. Thanks so much. Best Monica, a comedy actress.

I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Um, that's very sweet. Yes, professional. You didn't mention the proposal.

I didn't. and I kept played it cool. How crazy is it though that you emailed about just this idea of a podcast?

It is so crazy. It It is really hard for me to go back and think about a time when it was a quote thought bubble or a seed as we're seven years in and it's grown into such a huge part of my life.

Yeah. And I I think that it'll be successful if you keep at it. Oh, thank you. I'm I'm gonna keep going. I think it's important that I point out I had my own very intense parasocial relationship with you two. And to the degree that I reached out and met you, that's crazy.

But it is all very relevant to this whole series. Yes. And I know we're laughing and we're having fun here, but this is all important backstory to sort of get us to something that is not a laughing matter.

That leads us to something interesting because as I noted in the email that that was a dream lost but not forgotten because you guys at that point had stopped doing Totally Lame.

We must have. Yes. After having Totally Lame and actually because of this. So Andy was unaware that I was also responding to every email

and also proposing to people. I definitely didn't know that. Proposing I don't think to people. It was just to Monica. I think I was special.

Okay. But we started a new podcast called Totally Married, which it really wasn't about marriage. It was just two people who are married and we would

It's similar to our podcast now. Nobody's listening, right? where it was just Andy and I hanging out, catching up. But the second half was us giving unqualified advice to listener questions.

You guys received the most incredible questions. They covered such a wide spectrum of topics. I mean, obviously there was relationship questions,

but then there was also like really serious questions with pretty intense implications.

Yeah. Andy, can we play a couple clips maybe so that people can get a feel for the show?

When I was grabbing clips, I wanted to get some that were random and fun and this one jumped out. Question is the following. I've been slightly in love with my friend for about 5 years. One problem is that I'm gay and he isn't, or at least he says he isn't. There have been strange things in the past where he's definitely been half flirting with me and some people have agreed that he seems to like me. I've told him how I feel in the past and he's always very politely said, "No, thank you." but then continues to initiate conversations with me even though it sort of breaks my heart to have a friendship with him when I really want more. So, that's the background. Here's my question. Oh, this is a good one. How ethical is it to possibly ask to pay him money just to hug me? Almost like a very vanilla version of prostitution. I would offer him around $150 to just hug me for an hour/t talk to me while hugging.

Nothing more, nothing sexual, just that. I'd be totally okay with killing the friendship, a likely scenario, because it's difficult to ha having to talk to him, and I don't enjoy just being friends with him. I really want to scratch that itch of having him in some way. And any level of intimacy or company with him, even if just hugging, is the most appealing thing in the world to me. My question is whether if you were single, would you accept this proposition from a friend you've known for over 5 years, and just how bad of an idea this might be if it goes wrong. On a similar note, do you guys have any advice on how to get over unrequited love?

This is a terrible idea. Yeah. Well, it's a terrible idea. I mean, I love this question.

It's a the one of the best questions without a doubt. Thank you for this. A terrible idea.

First of all, I'm kind of confused. Does hugging scratch that itch? Hugging? This guy just wants any piece of this guy. And I think he's probably hoping that it'll it would escalate.

That's my thing is would it just be hugging or would you then just be wouldn't you be so sexually frustrated?

He's wants a hug for an hour. Can you imagine if a friend of yours see I don't even understand where they're at in this relationship? Cuz I can't in all of my friends historically. Imagine what it would be like if one of them was like, "This is going to be a weird request." But I got $150 burning a hole in my pocket and I want nothing more nothing more than just to hug you for an hour. Would you do that for 150? Like that sounds

the friendship is over. If it's legitimately if the person's legitimately asking that like the writer inner is proposing I'm pretty freaked out I think.

Well, yes. So and why aren't they just hugging each other anyways? Well, not for he wants he wants cuddling. So my thing is if like a lesbian friend of mine who I'm I've said no thank you to in the past is saying can we just hug for an hour to me and also maybe guys don't feel this way hugging is

like cuddling is extremely intimate and I think for guys it's extremely intimate and in in a weird way even more so than just [ __ ] something right like you got to really love someone to cuddle with them for an hour.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't even get hourlong cuddles. Have we ever cuddled for an hour?

Well, maybe. And actually, I'd like more cuddling since it's I'm not I'm not good in the cuddle department.

But I'd like some more, actually. Yeah, I hear that. That's great. Um, but just an hour.

Okay. Is this question a joke? Uh, what if this guy was like, [gasps] "This podcast has been sort of stale lately. I'd love to spice it up a little bit." No, I mean, listen, if you're okay with killing the friendship and this is a Hail Mary pass, go for it. But

yeah, I'm going to say, and please keep us posted. Hey, we don't You never know.

What a doozy. God, that that's hard. I I feel for that person who just wants to be touched.

I know. By that one person. Yeah. I mean, we all go through that, though. We've all had crushes that aren't reciprocated.

I know. I guess in some ways it's nice that he has the means to He's very wealthy. He's very

He has one thing going for him. So, sorry we are totally off the rails, but this is a prime example of what your show did. like we are now talking about the question. It it really made you think and deep dive on honestly what it just means to be a person. Do we have any clips of maybe the more serious questions?

Yes. Let's look at this one. Okay. So, my sister and I were raised by my mother. My father abandoned the family when I was very young. My [clears throat] mother was a dancer. To say that she pushed us is an understatement. She literally said on more than one occasion that the only reason anyone would care about us would be because we stayed pretty and danced well. Oo, that's a lot of pressure. Even as a little girl, I thought that was an evil [ __ ] thing to say. But my point is that we didn't have the best role model. Now, my sister-in-law says she's trying to spare her daughter from awkward teenage years by telling her to lose weight. Oh, she's a 15. She's 15.

I'm just having flashbacks to when I was a teenager. We would have been screamed at if we gained 5 lbs. I think about how terrible it feels to have a mother like that, and I'm more concerned about that than my niece's weight. My husband thinks I'm overly sensitive because my upbringing. I know what a bad mother would do, but I really don't know what a good one should do in this situation. Any ideas? Health is important to me. I'm happily I'll happily help my niece if she came to me for advice on her own. I'm just so scared about her relationship with her mother. Am I just being paranoid? Is it ever okay to step in and tell someone to lose weight? I really don't know. [snorts] So, what are our thoughts? Hm. I'm trying to imagine if there is a scenario where it's appropriate for

Well, in this case, this 15-year-old, her mother's concerned that she's a little overweight. So, it doesn't sound like she's putting her health at serious risk,

right? I had chubby phases for sure, and my mom definitely kind of put pressure on me, honestly, cuz it gave me issues

that then compounded and then turned into like me not being in tune with my body. and it was all about restricting or binging or whatever.

Yeah, that's Yeah, but if it more seems like this is something the mom's uncomfortable with.

Yeah. And not actually I don't know though. I could see the mom being like, "Oh, this is going to be a little bit harder for her because she's a few pounds overweight."

A that's her own [ __ ] I mean, yeah, maybe society would make it harder on her, but I guarantee you this girl would rather just have society being on her than society and her mother being hard on her. I mean, that sounds like the whole like, oh, I'm fine with you being gay, but it's upsetting cuz everyone else is going to be hard on you. Like, no, you're not really fine with

But okay. Okay, let's not use such extreme examples, maybe. Okay, let's let's make it something like this. Let's say the kid wanted to wear a police hat. We're talking he's starting middle school

at a new school. Mhm. And his thing is he likes wearing his police hat. Mhm. Every day.

Mhm. And you're, you know, that like, oh, things would be so much easier for our boy if he didn't Oh, Andy, this is

if he didn't show up in the police hat. This is really truly adorable because this just like goes to show the difference in what it feels like to be a guy who has never struggled with your weight. As a girl already with a mother like that, I can tell you with 100% confidence that this girl feels the vast majority of her self-worth is tied up in how she looks

and she feels like she's failing and the person who loves her the most in the world is saying she's not good enough.

That okay, that I totally makes sense to me. I was trying to boil it down to more the parent perspective of just the parent having the moment like, "Oh, this will be hard for the kid or things could be easier if they if this wasn't an issue. Do I say something?" And I was trying to use an example.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. That was small. Right. Well, I mean I parents face all the time like a child who wants to wear you know clothing that's associated with the other gender.

Sure. And you know these kids who are transgender or um gender curious like have one of the highest suicide rates of any you know social group because they lack the support starting where they need to feel the most secure which is at home. My point is your kid is going to be treated by society however she's going to be treated. At the very least, you should be supportive. And of course, I feel very sensitive to this issue.

Wow. Mom of the year. Yeah, you did a great job. I'm impressed that you knew gender curious seven years ago or 10 almost 10 years ago.

I know. You're uh you were ahead of the game. Yeah, you were ahead of the game where I'm talking about

not police hatalies. And you saying it's so adorable. I'm so patronizing. I'm so adorable. But to be fair at this question, it it came to mind because it was about something that really hit home for me, which is body image issues.

Oh, yeah. We had tons of those the issues. Yeah. I mean, yes, I do. Um, but this question got a lot of action in the comments section, which made me realize, you know, that sometimes our show actually did resonate a lot for especially women. That makes sense. And I bet you got a lot of Did you get like a surge of self-esteem when you gave that answer? Cuz that's that's intense. Like that's like really giving major life advice.

Yeah. Oh my gosh, my ego was getting boosted left and right. Like I was giving advice. Our show was growing. And it's funny listening back to that because I remember that writer in her. She was a Norwegian listener.

Oh, that's right. I was responding to all these emails. I started to develop relationships with some people.

Did you I mean I know we're we're revisiting a lot of this obviously for what we're doing here. I didn't know to the depths of like you responding to people like you were so kind to respond to Monica and whatnot. What I've been wondering lately revisiting this, you must have really liked that part of it or did you just feel like you needed to or somewhere in the middle of that?

I think something in the middle. I mean, particularly young women reaching out and I would talk a lot about, you know, losing my parents and grief and body image issues and all of these things that I think I connected with other women on. I felt like an obligation in some ways. And also I I mean ego comes into it like feeling a little bit like I've got some answers or

and to be totally honest I kind of needed an ego boost at that time. Like I was this was all I had.

Yeah. Um not I mean I obviously had you and our family and stuff, but like I had been trying so hard for so long to become a TV writer and it was a it was a slo.

Yeah. And so having this and having people look up to me kind of felt good, I think.

Yeah, I get that. I mean, we had this website that was bursting with comments, too.

Yeah. We had 4,000 pages of comments on our website. Like, it became this community and listeners would connect.

Yeah. You know, and that probably felt really special as sort of the cult leader

of of I'm kidding. But also, but yes, like, oh, look, look, I'm bringing people together and yeah, I'm sure it did give a little bit of a boost of I made this. I did this. It feels good,

right? I think it was really healing for me to speak to this stuff too because I was processing I becoming a mother of a of a daughter and son,

I was processing a lot of my own stuff and connecting with people that you you realized were having the same issues as you.

Yeah. So, we had like serious things like that that generated comments and then we had just random silly kind of fun questions that were really our bread and butter. And this one we're about to play stood out regarding our comment section for reasons that will be self-explanatory. I love this question because I'm loving that a lot of these questions now are um my husband has a problem and I was hoping for some listener feedback. So I guess we don't have to answer this. We can just hear what our listeners have to say.

You're really kind of insecure about that, aren't you? [gasps] Yeah, cuz I just know our advice is like so stupid that people now are writing in, which I get it. Our listeners are all like smart and have great opinions.

That's the best thing about this podcast and your website. I know. Hilarious. So, everyone get go log on to totally and go leave feedback. Okay. So, my husband cannot pee in a stall/ urinal situation.

Oh, I got I got some great advice. He can pee in public places, but only if it is a private bathroom.

Yep. I have had a couple tips over my lifetime handed down to me by some people. One is the bolt technique. And the bolt technique, my buddy Marcus in college told me about this. Basically, if you're looking at the urinal and the pipe, there's like that big bolt, and all you do is stare at that bolt and just say bolts, bolts, bolts, bolts over and over in your head. I'm not kidding. Uh, and I found that to be very effective. I use it to this day. And also another advice from college, my roommate Christian, he would have a hard problem with that and he would pull out his driver's license and read his driver's license while they

But that's at a urinal when there are other people that you got to be willing to like have people wonder what the hell is going on. But, uh, I recommend bolts, bolts, bolts. And when bolts, bolts, bolts doesn't work for me, I wait for uh the stall. And I have no shame in waiting for the stall.

She's saying he'll only go if it's a private stall, like if it's a bathroom with a door.

He cannot pee in a stall/ urinal. I'm sorry. That whole bolts thing. Hopefully that helped another listener.

Yeah, I'm sure it's not for nothing. Oh. So, what's your advice here? I don't know. Yeah, I guess we'll leave it to our listeners. She was wise. She was a wise woman.

I love how Andy just lit up at the mention of a urinal. It's really his area of expertise. Uh so yeah, those are three clips out of, you know, thousands that kind of give you a little tour of our show. And I should say all of this is incredibly relevant to Armchair for a few reasons. One, we have Armchair Anonymous where we talk to people and it's so fun and cool.

It's the best. Honestly, I love connecting with listener. I mean, obviously I love connecting with listeners.

Not only that though, like so much amazing stuff came out of it, especially for say your career.

That's very true. Honestly, everything good in my career originally started with it because

um people I knew from the UCB theater like June Diane Rafield, Casey Wilson, they got me to sell my very first pilot, like got me my first real writing job. And then Tammy Sager,

who I met on the podcast, she had been a fan of the podcast. She got me to sell my second pilot.

Wow. And not only that, though. Yeah. Let's not forget that's how we met you. Yeah.

Yeah. I know. Oh, it sounds like it was going so well. It was. So then why did you suddenly stop?

We had something scary happen to us. And it all started actually with an email from a listener with a question for Totally Married.

Do you see the email? Oh my god. The subject of the email is, "You may recognize my vagina. If you don't want to wait for more Be Best, you can binge the entire series today at patreon.com/bestdeed, where all 10 episodes are available adfree right now. Best is presented by armchair experts Monica Padman and nobody's listening, right? It is produced by Monica Padman, Elizabeth Lame, and Andy Rosen. Additional engineering by Rob Hollis. Music by Andy Rosen.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "EP1 - You Took Something Away From Me"?

In order: 0:00 Los Angeles, Nobody's Listening, Right?, Armchair Expert, Marina del Rey; 5:00 Totally Lame, Totally Married, Totally Mommy, Aaron McAfee; 10:00 Totally Lame, Dak Shepard, Kristen Bell, Nobody's Listening, Right?; 15:00 Unrequited love; 20:00 Body image issues; 25:00 Armchair Anonymous, Body image issues; 30:00 Andy Rosen, Casey Wilson, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman.

What is mentioned in this BETH'S DEAD episode?

32 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Totally Lame, Nobody's Listening, Right?, Totally Married, Los Angeles, Monica Padman, Armchair Expert. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "EP1 - You Took Something Away From Me"?

The episode runs 32 min; the transcript is about 5,601 words in 128 timestamped sections.

More from BETH'S DEAD

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 19, 2025.