Transcript

EP2 - You May Recognize My Vagina

From BETH'S DEAD · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 35 min · 6,572 words · 118 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "EP2 - You May Recognize My Vagina", an episode of BETH'S DEAD published October 30, 2025 (35 min, about 6,572 words). It mentions 20 people, works and ideas, including Natasha, Monica Padman, Andy Rosen, Elizabeth Lame, Patreon.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Andy Rosen, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman, Sexual Harassment
  2. – 10:00: Body image, Patreon, Totally Married
  3. – 15:00: Nude Modeling
  4. – 20:00: Armchair Expert, Armchair Expert, Trauma Currency
  5. – 30:00: Natasha, Feminism
  6. – 34:37: Andy Rosen, Best Beast, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman

Notable quotes from "EP2 - You May Recognize My Vagina"

  • Welcome to Bethstead episode 2. I'm Monica Padman and I'm here with Elizabeth Lame and Andy Rosen.
    about Monica Padman · at
  • Co-workers and my boss admitted to seeing me naked. This has led to more sexual harassment, judgment, and creepiness than you'd believe. I don't expect people to condone what I…
    about Sexual Harassment · at
  • We will absolutely discuss on a future totally married. Thank you for sending in.
    about Totally Married · at
  • Yes. and our views on things. And there's a reason most of our back episodes are on Patreon behind a payw wall. We don't want it just, out there.
    about Patreon · at
  • Something on empowering what all women's bodies look like. And I was sign me up because I have dealt with body image issues. And I thought like if this maybe will help me feel…
    about Body image · at
  • Before we move on, we have to address that both of you have done nude modeling.
    about Nude Modeling · at
  • And it is all relevant. which I think we touched on last week, but Armchair Expert has a show. We have multiple shows where we talk to people as well, right? It's a weird thing when you read someone's personal question or.
    about Armchair Expert · at
  • About this question and people really engaging like back and forth. I see a lot from Natasha who's a woman who it seems is kind of on your side Elizabeth and Yes.
    about Natasha · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Natasha — Person · 5 mentions · first at
  • Monica Padman — Person · 2 mentions · first at
  • Andy Rosen — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Welcome to Bethstead episode 2. I'm Monica Padman and I'm here with Elizabeth Lame and Andy Rosen.
  • Elizabeth Lame — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Welcome to Bethstead episode 2. I'm Monica Padman and I'm here with Elizabeth Lame and Andy Rosen.
  • Rob Hollis — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Additional engineering by Rob Hollis.

Companies & orgs

Products & tech

  • Armchair Expert — Product · 1 mention · first at
    And it is all relevant. which I think we touched on last week, but Armchair Expert has a show. We have multiple shows where we talk to people as well, right? It's a weird thing when you read someone's personal question or.
  • Best Beast — Product · 1 mention · first at

Concepts & topics

  • Sexual Harassment — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Body image — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Nude Modeling — Concept · 1 mention · first at
  • Trauma Currency — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    There is a little bit of trading in trauma currency a little bit that it's just something to consider. I've just been thinking about that on my own.
  • Feminism — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Usually though, it's women who are telling me that I'm setting feminism back or leading men into temptation or whatever. So, congrats. So, for Natasha, because you asked, and Frank, because you genuinely seem oblivious to what.
  • Parasocial Relationship — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. Too deep. It's like the parasocial relationship tables have turned and now I'm the one giving very disruptive advice.
  • Shame — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

Sponsors

  • Patreon.com/bestdeed — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    If you don't want to wait for more Best Beast, you can binge the entire series today at patreon.com/bestdeed where all 10 episodes are available adfree right now. Best is…

Full transcript with timestamps

Welcome to Bethstead episode 2. I'm Monica Padman and I'm here with Elizabeth Lame and Andy Rosen.

Hello. Hello. So, last week we left off hearing about this email that changed everything for you two.

And the subject line was, "You may recognize my vagina." Now, Elizabeth, you've just handed me the email.

Yes. And I'm going to read it. Hey guys, I've been listening to your podcast for a while, but I've been really reluctant to write about this marriage question. If you end up thinking it's not something you want to deal with, I get it. It's just something I'm not very comfortable talking about with people closer to me and I could use an outsers's perspective. My basic question is how much do you have to tell your new family because I'm engaged about your embarrassing past. I feel like the details are important here.

This starts a few years ago just after I turned 20. I had done a ton of small-time modeling work over the years while I tried to get my real career going, but the work wasn't reliable and didn't pay all that well. I suddenly found myself desperately in need of more money than I could make. When a contact from modeling offered me what seemed like a lot of money to do some adult modeling, I very reluctantly did it. These pictures are no worse than what you'd find in a playboy. I never performed sex acts or even worked with a male photographer. But I did take a ton of pictures to fulfill my contract, and they all revolve around me getting naked. I don't have any illusion about what this was. I wasn't making art. It was stuff for people to get off to. So, I actually understand if people think that this is akin to prostitution.

I expected that I never have to interact with the few people who would see those pictures. The problem was I guess people liked my look because my pictures got spread all over the net without me seeing another dime. Of course. Seriously, if you frequent just about any site that features links to naked people who aren't having sex, I guarantee you'll have come across one of my galleries. The feminist in me says women should be able to do this without being demonized, but my actual experiences make me really regret all this. So many people have seen this crap. Like at my last job, a bunch of my co-workers and my boss admitted to seeing me naked. This has led to more sexual harassment, judgment, and creepiness than you'd believe. I don't expect people to condone what I did. I wasn't excited about it in the first place, but very few people seem to realize that I was doing it cuz I needed money and not cuz I'm a giant [ __ ] For

what it's worth, I'm actually very sexually conservative. As I mentioned, I'm now engaged. My fiance is actually more okay with all of this than I am. And the few people who are really close to us know about it, but my fiance comes from a huge family with step siblings and a bunch of nieces and nephews, some of whom are hitting puberty. We can't seem to agree on what we should tell people. I'm not eager to say anything. Ideally, nobody would see this stuff and I can move on with my life. But I know that's unrealistic. People check this kind of stuff out and they're going to see me eventually. I don't want to tip people off about this like, "Okay, kids, you know your new Aunt Beth. You can see hundreds of pictures of her getting undressed. So, don't go looking for those." But if people are going to know about this, and some will, I'd rather be able to try to explain myself than have it be some open secret that everyone's

too embarrassed to admit or have it cause some kind of scandal down the road. My fiance supports me however I choose to deal with this. I just don't know who in his family I should tell or what I should say. I don't know why you'd want to help me. I get that very few people seem to feel any sympathy, but like I said, I could really use another perspective on this, and I'm really uncomfortable telling more people that actually know me. Any thoughts? You guys are the best. Exo.

Yeah. So, that was our first interaction interaction with Beth. When these emails would come in and like when you read, "You may recognize my vagina." At the time, did you read that and think, "Oh my god, this is so exciting or were you hesitant

as us as a show?" There was a lot of playfulness, light-heartedness, there was a lot of sex talk that I do think that there might have been something

delightful about that subject line to us that, oh, they'll think this is funny. I'm guessing there was an air of that to the subject line, right? It was in our brand of humor.

Totally. And I think that's important because also as we're talking about this,

Beth, her interactions with us at no point in time, well, no, that might not be true, but at this point in time, it did not seem like a crisis situation.

Yeah. She presented it almost like tongue and cheek, right? So, it felt Yeah, it felt kind of light-hearted and on brand. So, I probably was excited about this. So before you would read it on the podcast and have this open discussion, you would respond.

Yeah. And usually it's like, "Great question. We'll definitely answer it." And that was also part of me.

I think now I would assume it's consent if they're writing in the question to have us respond to, but that was also my way of informing you we will be reading this and talking about it. So

should I read my email response totally? And you haven't, just for the audience, you have you have not revisited this response since No, I haven't. Okay. Oh, wow. I totally feel sympathy. Honestly, if any of the poor decisions I made in my youth had been for public consumption, I'd be beyond upset. We will absolutely discuss on a future totally married. Thank you for sending in.

Which is that's very kind. I like that. Yeah, that was kind. Okay. So then Beth responds, "Oh, you're so sweet to say that. I think I get why people don't feel much sympathy. It's not like most women have to choose whether or not to do this. So whatever other mistakes they may have made, they're sure that they wouldn't make this one."

Huh. It almost feels like text. Yeah. It's familiar. It is. Especially back then.

I know. Yeah. Immediately. I mean, this is the third interaction. Okay. Then she sends another email the next day at 2:47 a.m. She says, "Oof, I just reread part of my original email because I'm so nervous about my wording. I wasn't clear on this, but when I said I had done smalltime modeling while trying to get my real career going, I wasn't talking about a modeling career. I never wanted that. Just something I fell into and now will never do again." Exo, Beth.

Okay. Wait. So, what's the clarity there? She wants me to know that her ambitions were never to be a model. It was just like to make money.

Okay. So, she was obviously ruminating. Yeah. Because that's the middle of the night and she is going back and looking at old emails and it's obviously on like top of mind for her.

Yes. Is that a detail that you as women is relevant? Cuz to me, I'm like that changes nothing to me. It feels honestly like when I mean I've done this before and I've had people do it to me, but you go to a party and you have a great time and then at 2 am you wake up and you go when I complimented her glasses, did it come across like I really didn't like them? And then I I write a text that's like, hey, your glasses when I said they reminded me of my grandmother's, that actually was sincerely a compliment.

Grandma had the best eye of anyone I've ever known. It does feel like that. To me, this doesn't change anything or

but it it just is an insight to her uh headsp space. Yeah. The one part of this story that I cannot reiterate enough that this was seven plus years ago.

Yeah. And we had been podcasting for a while and we're very naive to I don't know interactions and stuff like that. So, we're kind of very anxious to hear what our actual response on the podcast was about this because a lot has changed since then.

Yes. For us and the culture, you mean? Yes. Like, and our views on things. And I mean, there's a reason most of our back episodes are on Patreon behind a payw wall. We don't want it just, you know, out there.

Not that anything was crazy, but I'm worried that we're going to be like super reckless and playful in our response. Do you know what I mean? Back then, I'm not sure. Hey, we had no idea what was coming down the pipeline.

Yeah, here's that clip. It's from the end of her question. This is going into our response.

She says, "I don't know why you'd want to help me. I get that very few people seem to feel any sympathy, but I could really use another perspective." I do feel sympathy.

Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. Listen, first of all, I mean, I actually did a nude photo shoot that is not No one can ever see this or cuz this very reputable photographer here in LA when I was like 21 years old was doing something on empowering what all women's bodies look like. And I was like, sign me up because I have dealt with body image issues. And I thought like if this maybe will help me feel empowered in some ways and also just I like the idea of there being images of real women's bodies out there. Okay.

So, I did it and the project never came to light, which I am now grateful for. I did a naked photo shoot as well.

You did? That's right. I've seen those pictures for an ad campaign that never came to light.

So, we're both lucky in that this writer inner had no idea it was going to become what it was,

right? And I mean, there's no shame in it to me at all. Not at all. Not at all.

It got away from you, though. It uh it went viral. So, um, my whole point was Andy and I both could have been in similar situations.

I have my photos. I know. Should I put those up in the comments section? God, no. Anyway, um so point being one thing I want to say and there is a follow-up to this and I know the question is just basically should we tell people in my future family and how if so but I just want to say it sounds like this writer in her is carrying a lot of shame for this

that I just don't think she I I'm wondering if she could go to a therapist and find a way to unbburden herself and just look at it for what it is which was you made a choice that you regret, but like it doesn't define who you are. I think that this writer and her shame is coming through loud and clear on this question. And personally, I don't think she needs to have shame about it. How do you feel?

Here's my advice. Okay. No, do not tell the family. There's absolutely no reason to be proactive in this situation. If at some point in time it comes up, you can totally address it then and I would own it then.

This is the sort of thing I would feel just like her because I might think that like everyone in your family would know about it and be talking about it behind my and your back and even wondering if you knew about it and judging me for it. No one's necessarily going to say something to her about it

and then she's like paranoid, right? So, it might make her feel better. My advice would be that if there's ever an opportunity to bring it up in a casual way, like if you're talking about maybe have your husband bring up like odd jobs that people worked and you could bring up be like, "Oh my god, well, when I was in my 20s, I did the craziest thing. Um, I was I really needed money. It was a lot of money, but I did not ex anticipate it was going to follow me around for the rest of my life. Lesson learned.

That that is just the one thing that I I have a hard time with being proactive about it is like it does open up the can of worms,

right? But I I get your point though. I mean, yeah, like do you def do you defuse the bomb, so to speak?

Right. Well, maybe she's diffusing her paranoia bomb. But she might be lighting a different bomb, though.

You guys, I'm so I'm sorry. Before we move on, we have to address that both of you have done nude modeling.

Guilty. Guilty. Wait, have you not? Now I'm feeling like maybe there's something wrong with me. No one asked me to nude model.

Everyone has done nude modeling. No, that was insane. I hadn't even I'd forgotten about that. Not Andy's, but yes.

Wow. Andy, how did you feel about that? I was like, "Oh, we weren't reckless or anything." I felt f I felt fine with it. I was worried that we would have said way dumber stuff. Did you feel okay again?

I I did. I Yes, I was pretty pleased with how we responded. I was very happy that I suggested she go to a therapist.

Yeah. But that's not actually the end of our answer. So, let's play the rest. Okay. Here's an very interesting update, though.

Okay. Basically, my fiance got a call this morning from his brother letting him know that there were new pictures of me on the internet. Even though it was an awkward conversation, my future brother-in-law seemed cool about it. But I guess my point is, it really seems like it's impossible to keep this away from my loved ones. And the treatment I've gotten in the past has made me so paranoid about how people will react. When I think about having kids down the road, I almost get sick thinking about how this will affect them. And it would be so much easier if taking those pics was something I really believed in that I'd be willing to defend on principle because women should be able to do this kind of thing without being treated like [ __ ] But it was never something I wanted to do at all.

Oh, okay. O, that does make it interesting. Yeah. Here are my thoughts. Number one, I think it's good that the brother-in-law knows and called the brother so he can kind of act as a diffuser for the rest of the family.

Oh yeah, that's if it comes up. So I hope that the writer in her can let go of her paranoia. If anyone treats her differently because of this, that's on them.

That's on them. You don't need to worry about what it means for you. You know who you are. Um in terms of your kids growing up, I think if it does come up, I mean, part of me hopes that by then

Yeah. I don't know. There will be so many more images on the internet and it won't be a thing by then.

Hopefully not, but if it does come up, I would just take it as a learning teaching opportunity with your kids

to say, you know, I did something I regretted because and I I think we all have we're going to have to teach our kids so much about like not sending naked selfies. it actually will be a great learning opportunity and they can learn from what you went through and however it affects them. So it might be in a I mean not a way you would want but it might be a positive thing

for your kids. So I would just try to find peace for yourself. Let it play out. If anyone ever brings it up to you or treats you differently because of it you can explain to them what you explained to us. And if they still judge you for it, then I think that that's going to be very eye opening for that person that you don't really need to respect their opinion anyway.

Yeah, I think that's I I like it. I You got nothing to be ashamed of. You need to do a little healing on this on your own.

Just own it. Yeah, I think that's good. Okay, so that was your response to her followup. Now, what are your thoughts having heard all that?

You know what? One thing was striking to me as I went on the roller coaster hearing that of like the amount of paranoia of these photos and I think as an outsider you're like I mean don't worry about it and now we're like there's so many pictures on the internet but then there was one moment when she had the followup where for whatever reason and I've never had this thought before it did resonate like oh I do know that feeling like when something happens and you're so worried. Well, one, so in the follow-up email, I have it in front of me, and um when you read it on the podcast, you you did leave out the last line.

Oh. And she says, "So, I'm obviously still really struggling with this issue." [ __ ] that's rough.

Yeah. And it's This just gets so tricky knowing how this ends. Yeah. really I I'm honestly so uncomfortable right now knowing that we even addressed it on air after hearing this.

Yeah. And it is all relevant. Uh which I think we touched on last week, but Armchair Expert has a show. We have multiple shows where we talk to people as well,

right? It's a weird thing when you read someone's personal question or experience and it's dicey or upsetting or intense and you get a tiny thrill.

Yes. Yeah. Cuz you get to then deep dive in it. It's it it's weird. Well, I feel I that's almost part of our culture now. And also as a TV writer, I'm I'm acutely aware of that. like

people using their trauma, which is it's beautiful if people can find positives out of their trauma and help other people. But it's almost like if you go through something, you have to then use that and

and in TV writing also, I mean, there have been many times I brought my own stories in that uh it was really empowering. Maybe it was stories that were painful or something like that, but that shouldn't be the expectation

for sure, you know? But it was like that's a great story, right? It gets a little sparkle in the eye.

There is a little bit of trading in trauma currency a little bit that it's just something to consider. I I've just been thinking about that on my own.

Yeah, Monica, when you say that, is it dualsided? like one you're there's a thrill of ooh we get to talk about this on the show it'll make for a good show plus ooh I get to talk about this with the person like you're getting let in on a secret like is it is it both of those things or is the quality of the show the bigger one because I think for us it was probably for me it was that but for you maybe it was both Elizabeth what do you think

yeah well I think I got more excited about the like I'm connecting with this person and

when we would have follow-ups which we did with Beth have many and there were other

particularly like young women who seemed to be struggling and maybe didn't have a support system.

Yeah. I mean I couldn't help but feel a little bit like the big sister who was caring for them.

There's a validation like you're worthy of answering this question or you're which we we we did make very clear on our show. I mean, the whole thing was it's unqualified advice from two idiots, basically. Like, we had no qualifications to answer anything. So,

we we hammered that home pretty well. I think it is weird because I didn't I really was not that Elizabeth was ever hiding any of this from me.

Yeah. Up late at night [clears throat] like he's asleep. No, but just I think I would never have the bandwidth to be able to even engage with people. Like I get overwhelmed with doing emails with talking to people. So I'm assuming you would never expect me to even know about this or

care or care like really care is more it at that time. But it is weird to find out after the fact

just how much Elizabeth was talking to people. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like at this point you guys are just like answering sort of jovially and in the way you do.

Yeah, totally. Do you have more interactions with her? Yes. Okay. Can you flip through and see?

The next one is is from her. Okay. I'm going to read it. Hi, Elizabeth. I tried making a comment on your site, but I think I screwed something up. It's not important, though. Everyone's been so supportive. Even that one guy that wasn't didn't say anything I haven't heard a million times before from people much closer to me. Okay, so she's giving an update.

Yeah, the comment section on our website comes into play here in a pretty big way. And that was kind of step one. There was some guy, I think his name was Frank, and he was poking the bear. So, she went and commented, "Hey, I'm the girl from the episode." because people were already weighing in like I feel so bad for her.

Okay. And so he came in and was basically [ __ ] shaming her and really Yes. So I have these comments in front of me. There's a there's a bunch

and I think it started off nicely. Yeah. It was mostly supportive. Yeah. So lots here. Then I see a Frank. So I'll read that because that's what Beth was referring to. Frank to the girl in the nude photos. Yeah. If you need to go to therapy to get over this then do it. But you don't get to control how other people feel about it. Apparently, other people here think you did nothing wrong, and that's fine. Many people wouldn't feel that way. I hate to say it, but I think you should feel a little bad about it. Not because I'm religious at all, because I think you helped contribute to the idea that women are just sex objects for men to enjoy.

You're worried that your in-laws will find out about this. Well, their son and maybe their future grandchildren can be very negatively affected by your actions. So, maybe you should try putting yourself in their shoes before you start complaining about how they might feel about you.

Yeah. Now, Elizabeth, you responded to this. I did? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm going to read it.

Okay. From Elizabeth. Oh, god. O ve Frank, this is incredibly harsh. And for what purpose exactly? I mean, have you ever made a mistake? Do you understand that she did these photos before the internet was what it was today? How could she have possibly imagined that the seemingly innocuous way to make some money when she needed it would haunt her for the rest of her life? and to your statement about contributing to the idea that women are just sex objects. Here's my thought on that. You are a man, I assume, from your name. You have no place to weigh in on this for a woman for the same reason I took nude photos.

You love to bring up your nude photos. I don't even remember. You're on fire. We really need to talk about that, too.

[clears throat] For the same reason I took nude photos as a young woman, women's relationships with their bodies and sexuality is complicated to a degree that men do not understand. Not that I think she should have had the foresight to understand how mass spread her photos would be and to what degree they would be used. But even if she did, she could have chosen to do this to empower herself, to her own sexuality, etc. And she owes nothing to the concerns of how this or her in-laws or family feel. I really, really hate this comment. It feels so abusive and counterproductive and for no good reason other than you want to shame someone for a choice they made a very long time ago and cannot change and are trying to heal from.

Wow. Shut it down. Wow. Wow. Wow. So impressive. And I'm also so embarrassed that like I wouldn't even be able to type word one of a response to that guy's [ __ ] comment. Like I wouldn't even know where to begin. That's really impressive. I mean, I love that you defended her and obviously what I can gather is like at this point you're invested. You care. I care.

Yeah. I think I'm caring a lot at this point. And do you think because of the overwhelming response on the website, like with all the comments and then especially this guy, were you like, "Oh, I'm invested." Or were you invested before you even saw the audience response to the question? I think I was invested also. You know, we would get questions along these lines or something like this pretty frequently that we're answering through the lens of two liberal people living in LA with like, you know, we would get questions about people coming out and things like that where I also think it was easy for us to go, "No, don't say anything. Don't worry about it." But then when I took a step back and had more interactions with her and realized she's coming from a place where the people surrounding her have a very different mindset than the people surrounding us.

Yeah. Um I took it more seriously. I think that makes sense. Yeah. And this comment section is huge. There are there are so many comments about this question and people really engaging like back and forth. I see a lot from Natasha

um who's a woman who it seems is kind of on your side Elizabeth and Yes. and Anders a Frank back and forth.

Is there like one pro comment we could hear over there Monica? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Also, I see Beth's response. Hi everyone. I'm the girl in the nude photos online. She says, "And yes, except for the name, there's nothing to hide that it's me. not even Photoshop or dyed hair. It was so interesting hearing two strangers have the same conversation that I've been having with my fiance for months and with myself for years. My fiance is on the same page as you guys saying, "However other people treat me, I should be accepting of this the way he is." And rationally, I know that's true. And I'm starting to accept that I need to get into therapy. Weirdly enough, maybe the clearest proof of that was how I reacted as soon as Elizabeth began reading my letter. I felt my whole body clench as if Elizabeth and Andy was going to say something really hurtful or judgmental, even though I didn't really believe that

for a second. To address the question of whether or not I'm carrying around a lot of shame from this, when I took the pictures, I certainly wasn't ashamed at all and would have defended them the way I'd still defend another woman's right to do this. When I say I didn't want to do it, I only mean that I didn't do it as an act of self-expression or want it to be my contribution to the world. But after years of some pretty harsh treatment from a small minority of people, yeah, I definitely feel a lot of shame about this. I know I shouldn't, but how I know I should feel and how I actually do feel have become very different.

Okay, so she then goes on to address Frank specifically. She says, "Frank, it absolutely blows my mind that you apparently heard my letter and interpreted that to mean that I'm whining about people thinking mean things about me. Of course, people are free to think whatever they want. Even comments like yours are common enough that they don't hurt my feelings. Usually though, it's women who are telling me that I'm setting feminism back or leading men into temptation or whatever. So, congrats. So, for Natasha, because you asked, and Frank, because you genuinely seem oblivious to what women can go through, I'll have to write another comment soon. I'm just out of time right now explaining some of the treatment I've gotten that has actually hurt me so much. And I'm sorry if I'm complaining too much for your taste from other Elizabeth. Damn, I didn't know she weighed in like that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she weighs in. That was one. I mean, I rarely like mediated in the comment section.

Yeah. And that was one where I definitely kind of got felt like you needed to be a part of.

It's interesting because Natasha Mhm. was another listener who you'll remember from last episode. She's a Norwegian dancer that I kind of like formed a bond with and she was very active in like the community, I guess. And

she and Beth, I think via this specific comment section, formed a connection. Yeah, that is what it's seeming like. There's one from Natasha that says, and this is a while later. Also, everyone's referring to her as other Elizabeth, which is funny. Other Elizabeth, has there been any update on the question you first wrote about? Did you decide to talk to your fiance? If so, how'd they take it? I know it's none of my business, but my husband and I have been so concerned for you. Even though we feel you did absolutely nothing wrong, we also acknowledge that people can be very sensitive anytime female sexuality comes up.

Who's that one? Natasha. Oh jeez. So, the next day there was a email from Beth. Tonight, I told a lot of people about my nude photos. It went so much worse than I ever imagined. It was the worst night of my life. I've never felt so worthless. Thanks anyway for trying to help me.

And that's it. Mhm. No sign off. That's in really intense. Yeah. Also, I should That was 2:33 a.m.

O. You respond at at a normal time. 11. But then the same day. The same day though.

Same day. Wow. I say, "Oh [ __ ] Beth, I'm so sorry it went that way. Will you please promise me that you'll get into therapy ASAP? This broke my heart. And while I know it is awful right now, I trust that you will get to a place where you see that anyone who judges you for what you did in your past with your own body that wasn't hurting anyone else is not someone worthy of your respect or worry. I understand this is your family-in-law and will be hard to navigate, but I know you will find peace within yourself, which will allow you to find peace with their ignorance. What you did is totally okay. The repercussions, I understand, have been hard for you to contend with. But remember, you had no idea that was going to happen with this photo shoot. At worst, it was an honest mistake you made as a young woman. At best, it was something you chose to do to make some cash. And you have no shame about the

human body or sexuality, which is a good thing. Any way you slice it is not worthy of judgment. And anyone who thinks otherwise is small-minded, cruel, and would find a way to be toxic towards you and others if this weren't it. I'm sending you love. Please go speak with someone and lean on your husband to be for support.

That's really sweet. It is. I think this was the first red flag for me of like her saying I feel worthless. These are big statements.

Yeah. And I think I was realizing I'm maybe in over my head at this point. Her first email so playful. You might recognize my vagina. And like and I think at this moment in time I realized, oh, this is [ __ ] serious. And so I followed up later that day. So that was 11:00 a.m. and then

11:13. Oh god. 5 minutes later. Will you Will you keep me posted on how you're feeling about all of this? I really want to be there to hug you. I'm so sorry you're going through this for something so benign in my opinion.

Whoa. So you're now I'm you're spinning out 5 minutes later. I think I am spinning out. And I I think I did realize, oh god, she responds that day.

Mhm. At 11:35, thanks so much. I guess my fiance really did expect everyone to be totally fine with it. When some people started saying that now they couldn't trust my judgment or my honesty or asked him to think about problems that might cause in the future, he defended me. But as he drove me home, God. But as he drove me home, he started talking about how he quote owed it to his family to take their concerns seriously and I deserved to marry into a family that accepted me unconditionally. He just kept saying those two things.

Before the drive was over, he had put the engagement quote on hold while he thought about things. But I know it's not happening if he's this uncertain about me now. I'm seeing a therapist next week and I have a good few friends to lean on. Thank you so much for the support from you and your other listeners. So, her life is unraveling and you're at the computer.

This again, yeah, these aren't texts. These are emails. Emails. I say, "Oh my god, Beth, that is awful. I hope this is just an incredibly huge lapse in judgment on his part, and that he comes to you today begging for forgiveness, and you will both have to work on be rebuilding trust because of his betrayal." If he doesn't and continues to side with his ignorant family, I truly again think this is a gift for you, even though it seems impossible to see it that way. But if a man you're about to marry is so easily able to turn against you for a choice you made so long ago, I can't imagine it would be easy to navigate life with him as a teammate when the going really gets tough. I mean, this is all over a few photos you took as a young woman. So ridiculous. He's willing to throw his happiness and love away for something as benign as that. Gh, I'm so sorry.

Anyway, thank you for the update. Keep me posted and know that I'm rooting for you.

That's kind of a big swing you took there. I know. I'm uh kind of weirded out listening back to this that I'm basically just telling her to blow up her life.

They're engaged. It's on pause. But you not knowing that much of their relationship or whatnot are like you're dodging a bullet if this falls apart with your person that you want to marry.

You're in deep. Yeah. Too deep. It's like the parasocial relationship tables have turned and now I'm the one giving very disruptive advice. A few days later, Beth responds, "I was hoping you could do me a crazy favor. Could you just take a look at one of my galleries? I'm begging." If you don't want to wait for more Best Beast, you can binge the entire series today at patreon.com/bestdeed where all 10 episodes are available adfree right now. Best is presented by armchair experts Monica Padman and nobody's listening right. It is produced by Monica Padman, Elizabeth Lame, and Andy Rosen.

Additional engineering by Rob Hollis. Music by Andy Rosen. Heat. Heat.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "EP2 - You May Recognize My Vagina"?

In order: 0:00 Andy Rosen, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman, Sexual Harassment; 5:00 Body image, Patreon, Totally Married; 10:00 Nude Modeling; 15:00 Armchair Expert, Armchair Expert, Trauma Currency; 25:00 Natasha, Feminism; 30:00 Andy Rosen, Best Beast, Elizabeth Lame, Monica Padman.

What is mentioned in this BETH'S DEAD episode?

20 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Natasha, Monica Padman, Andy Rosen, Elizabeth Lame, Patreon, Sexual Harassment. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "EP2 - You May Recognize My Vagina"?

The episode runs 35 min; the transcript is about 6,572 words in 118 timestamped sections.

More from BETH'S DEAD

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated November 19, 2025.