Transcript
Weirdest Heckle EVER in Stockholm | Standup Comedy
From Chris D'Elia · Episode page · Watch on YouTube
· 12 min · 1,514 words · 24 timestamped sections
This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Weirdest Heckle EVER in Stockholm | Standup Comedy", an episode of Chris D'Elia published January 4, 2026 (12 min, about 1,514 words). It mentions 2 people, works and ideas, including Crystalia, Pluto TV.
What is discussed, and when
Notable quotes from "Weirdest Heckle EVER in Stockholm | Standup Comedy"
His name was Crystalia. Do you know him?
about Crystalia · at
Who and what is mentioned in this episode?
People
- Crystalia — Person · 2 mentions · first at
Companies & orgs
- Pluto TV — Company · 1 mention
Full transcript with timestamps
What have you been doing? The what? What have you been doing? What you have been what?
What you have been doing? What have I been doing? Just doing some stand up, I guess. What? What the [ __ ] did you mean? What the [ __ ] did that guy mean? I just said that. I'm trying to think. What have you been doing? I told a whole story about a frog. But um I was scared to get it and then my son got it and killed it and threw it out. And the guy's just like, "What have you been doing? Does he mean then or does he mean right now? Did you black out? I don't understand. Did you just come too and go, "Oh, sorry. What have you been doing?
What is happening? I've never got such a weird heckle in my life." So, what have you been up to? Like, does does this guy think we're on the phone? What the [ __ ] I think he's just saying [ __ ] he heard in movies. What have you been doing? I have a special set of skills. What have you been doing, dude? Well, okay. So, just because I'll never sleep again. I unless I know. What did you What did you mean? [clears throat]
What do you mean then? Then what? What have I been doing since? Oh, because of all the frogs were there.
Exactly. Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] That was way easier than I thought it would be. What have you been doing? What is that? That's [ __ ] CL. That is one for the books, man. That's just an incredible moment in my career in my in my 20 years of I had to travel to [ __ ] Stockholm for some guy to just throw me a [ __ ] the biggest Vegas loop. What have you been doing? That's amazing, dude. You know why that's amazing is because you felt I love I actually love the fact that I'm telling this story and you were so in it and comfortable that you were just like, you know what, [ __ ] it. I'm going to ask him.
That to me means I'm doing my job right. Okay. cuz I would have hated it if you were driving home tonight and you didn't ask that and you were just like I wonder how he has been dealing with these frogs ever since then I was going to I almost asked him you know but I didn't feel comfortable enough because he's not that good of a comic but I if he was a little better, I would have felt comfortable enough to just ask him, you know?
I'll never know what he's been doing since then. You'll be on your deathbed in [ __ ] 40 years. Just [ __ ] your family's just like, "Papa, you lived a good life." Just like, "Yes." Do you have any regrets?
Actually what? What? Papa, do you know? Okay, so do you know Do you know, you probably don't know this comedian. He's he died 10 years ago. Uh, old old. His name was Crystalia. Do you do you know him? Well, probably not. Probably not. He he never got that famous, but he ended up hosting a game show on Pluto [clears throat] TV and then and he died of HIV. So, but anyway, there was a there was a show I was at of his once. Yes Papa. He told his story. He moved into a new house and you see there were frogs everywhere.
And the story was long. It meandered a little bit. It had laughs. But at the end, his kid threw a frog from inside the house to outside the house. And the catch was in that the the frog died. Okay, the son killed the frog and threw him out. And all of the other frogs outside waiting for him, they were so mad. And ever since then, I've always wondered what he's been doing.
Oh no, Papa. You will never know. You died. It is up to me. I will avenge his I will find out what Crystal Leo has been doing since then. It never ends. I will carry on my father's legacy. WHEN I have children, I will teach them. What has Crystalia been doing for years and years? It's a new religion. In [ __ ] 1,000 years, it's a new religion. And then Crystalia had a frogs in his house. His son tried to get thrown out and then killed it. What has he been doing? Bro, that that is the longest story I've ever made out of somebody just [ __ ] it's asking me a nicity. You know what I mean?
Just a nice guy. I am the nicest guy in the world. You know, I'll ask you. I don't care where the [ __ ] you are. I'll ask you. Uh, what are you even doing? You know, I'm [ __ ] interested for real. Yeah. What do you do as a for a job?
I'm an engineer. An engineer. Nice. I'm dumb. I don't even really know what that means. Do you you're like what what is it that you do every day?
What have you been doing? I'm an engineer at power plant. An engineer at what? Power crane.
Power. Power. What does he say? Power plant. Power plant. Power plant. Power plant. Power plant. I'm basically actually producing the the energy that you're using right now.
You're you're producing the energy that you're using right now. He says it like he's an X-Men or some [ __ ] I am producing the energy you're using right now. So, be careful. How have you been doing? Without me, you couldn't be here doing this. Just so you know, without me there is nothing. Yes, I am a nice guy. I will ask you how you how you've been doing. I will ask you what you have been doing. But if you don't give me a good answer, I will make all the energy in the world stop and you will not be able to see or do anything like with transit.
All of the energy in the world is it comes from me. How do we defeat him? How do we defeat him? He has too much energy. And that's the thing. I want to defeat him, but then he turns off the [ __ ] lights and then it's like I can't see him. And that's when he [ __ ] wins.
You're crying. She's [ __ ] crying. Bro, you can't you're you're a fan or you just came to the show to laugh or actually a fan. I meant to ask YOU TO PUT A OH, GUYS, another question. I MEANT TO ASK you since we're on the phone doing the thing with the conversation with the drunk.
I don't know. I don't know that bit anymore. It was [ __ ] 15 years ago. I love it. I love the
Yeah, I understand. But it's on YouTube. You can look at it. No. He's like, that's funny. That's funny. You're not going to do it. Uh, do it. I'll crash your plane tomorrow. You don't do it. I'll turn all the engines off. You understand? You understand what you're saying no to? That's it, right?
Dude, did somebody just [ __ ] leave? What was that? Or did you demagnetize the doors? Just a little sample of what I can do.
This is one for the books, man. I got to go. What's your day tomorrow? You work with this guy or what the [ __ ] You just energized them right up. What is your day tomorrow?
I don't even What do you even mean? Like what? It's going to be Friday for me, sir. I Is that what you wanted to know?
What? Yeah. You turned them off or what? Enough is enough. Ah [ __ ] I have all the information I need. I know he's going to be at the airport. I will shut his plane off.
Questions about this episode
What is discussed in "Weirdest Heckle EVER in Stockholm | Standup Comedy"?
In order: 3:00 Crystalia; 6:00 Crystalia.
What is mentioned in this Chris D'Elia episode?
2 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Crystalia, Pluto TV. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.
How long is "Weirdest Heckle EVER in Stockholm | Standup Comedy"?
The episode runs 12 min; the transcript is about 1,514 words in 24 timestamped sections.
More from Chris D'Elia
About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 15, 2026.