Transcript

Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air

From Fresh Air · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 48 min · 8,692 words · 155 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air", an episode of Fresh Air published July 29, 2025 (48 min, about 8,692 words). It mentions 6 people, works and ideas, including Atco Akatska, Margaret Cho, Father, Hulu, Big Bear.

What this episode is about

Atsuko Okatsuka discusses her experiences with language, identity, and the nuances of her Japanese name, revealing how these elements have influenced her life as a caretaker and comedian. She reflects on the challenges of growing up in America and the unique blending of culture that informs her comedic perspective.

Key takeaways

  • Silent U, loud story: a name's pronunciation is a comedic tragedy in cultural translation.
  • Language adds letters like seasoning—sometimes, tempura needs an 'M' for flavor in the Western palate.
  • Living in a garage: the American dream? More like a garage band remix of a family saga.
  • Trauma & comedy: laughter can be the therapy we didn't know we needed, delivered with punchlines.
  • Stacy: a name that fit like a coat off the rack—temporary but a pivotal part of identity quest.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Atco Akatska
  2. – 15:00: Father
  3. – 25:00: Big Bear, Jesus Camp
  4. – 30:00: Father
  5. – 35:00: Margaret Cho, Father, Hulu
  6. – 40:00: Father
  7. – 45:00: Father
  8. – 48:19: Atco Akatska

Notable quotes from "Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air"

  • Really know your grandmother's reasoning. You don't know your mother's side of the story even with your father and that connection of how they came together. And so you were…
    about Father · at
  • Yeah. It was somewhere it was in Big Bear but it was like usually you know churches sign up together like the youth group will sign up together.
    about Big Bear · at
  • That was my guest today, Adsco Akatska in her new Hulu comedy special, Father.
    about Atco Akatska · at
  • Margaret Cho. you tell the story about how being at this Baptist church, right, someone gave you a DVD. Did they give you that DVD because they already could see you were funny or was.
    about Margaret Cho · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Atco Akatska — Person · Main guest (comedian/interviewee) · 2 mentions · first at
    Primary interview subject discussing immigration from Japan, family trauma/mental illness, and her comedy career including a Hulu special and touring show.
  • Margaret Cho — Person · Referenced comedian / inspiration and peer · 5 mentions · first at
    Cited as an early comedic influence (DVD from church) and later as someone the guest met and formed a meaningful peer relationship with in comedy.

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • Hulu — Company · 1 mention · first at
    That was my guest today, Adsco Akatska in her new Hulu comedy special, Father.

Places & events

  • Big Bear — Place · 2 mentions · first at
  • Jesus Camp — Event · 1 mention · first at
    Garage. So I took it very seriously to the point I even like signed up for Jesus camp on my own.

Full transcript with timestamps

Oh, let me see your nails. Wait, hot dog. One hot dog. Oh my gosh. Do you mind if I take a photo?

You have to. You've got to take a photo of these nails. Atco Akatska, welcome to Fresh Air.

Oh my gosh, Tanya, it is a pleasure. It's an honor. Um, it was really cool. I'm just still in awe. I'm processing, like I was saying, your angelic voice, your aura, and the way you introduced me, I was like, this is too good, too good to be true.

Well, it's a pleasure to be sitting in front of you, Atko. And I have to ask you about your name and the spelling. So, there's a U in both your first name and your last name, but the U is silent,

right? Yeah. Yeah. What's your relationship to the letter U? Because you're always probably correcting people like it's silent,

right? Right. It's there to trip you up because Yeah. I mean, you know, it's a Japanese name, so in Japan, it's not like we're walking around being like the U is silent. There is no U.

Right. Right. There's no U in the Japanese alphabet or like the chronological letters. Yeah.

Right. And so, you know, it's just when I saw it spelled out in English when I moved here, I said, "Really? That's interesting. Um, I guess, you know, we'll keep it that way and then that will be sort of my lifelong story of having to help people figure out how to say it. Yeah.

So, it's interesting. So, when it's written in Japanese, the translation added the U to it,

I think. So, that's what it Yes. Yeah. Isn't language language is wild, right? You know what I've There's a few more words like this, right? in uh various like foods for example like tempura in English is spelled t e m yes

p u r a right in Japanese it's ten t e n pura tempura there's no m right where did that m come from

no idea we just added it yeah it's just so that you know you know what it's done for me as a Japanese you know immigrant coming to America when I try to order my own people's food from Japanese people here. Wait, no, sorry. What's What is done is Yeah, they don't understand what I'm trying to order. Does that make sense? Because I'm trying to do it the correct way from Japan.

And they're so used to everyone here not being able to do it. So they're like, "It's Tea."

Yeah. Did you ever have an American name or Yeah. Yeah. Americanized name? Yeah. For a couple of months, I I went by Stacy. Yeah. I thought it would, you know,

why just a few months? because um you know I say a lot it's important to know who you're not and when something feels off right I'm going by Stacy right you know after a few tries of that and a couple of months I was like okay that doesn't stick for me

yeah the coat doesn't fit I don't know what that is yeah Stacy yeah there was a Barbie named Stacy at that time and so I think I sometimes would I I' I'd seen her at the toy store. She

So, is that how you chose it? Yeah. Well, my teacher at the time had suggested maybe, you know, you go by something like that so that it would be easier for people to say your name. She knew I was getting teased for osco.

Mhm. Yeah. And so, um, it was her trying to help, too. It's always people trying to help a lot of times. And then you still have to go, you know, to yourself be like, "But is that right for me?" Yeah.

Yeah. Well, your story is incredible. Um, as you mentioned, you immigrated here from Japan. You were born into a Japanese Taiwanese family, spent your early childhood in Japan, moved here to the United States when you were 8 years old. Your grandmother basically kidnapped you. And you joke about this. You joke about your mom's mental illness. You guys arrived here as a trio. But although you tell this story in a pretty comical way, it sounds pretty traumatic,

right? Yeah. But you know what I found about trauma is while you're going through it, you're not going, "This is trauma. This is trauma. This is not good."

Right. I didn't have time to feel that. I'm realizing. Yeah. Yeah. And so in a strange way as I like processed it over the years, you know, I guess, you know, whether it was like depression that I was hitting or right, sadness that I was feeling, um, I didn't know that was maybe the trauma that I was like processing. And then now that it's been really a longer time, u, and I'm able to joke about it, I'm realizing I've sort of started to heal without even realizing it. Does that make sense? Well, it does because so much of your comedy, it feels like you're working it out on stage. Um,

you know, and that's the fascinating thing about your comedy and I really want to get more into that. I also want to know though about those first years when you arrived here because the three of you, your mother, your grandmother, and uh your mom, you your mother, your grandmother, and you you arrived and you were staying in your uncle's garage.

Was it a real garage? like describe this garage. So, it was a garage that he then um extended for us so that there would be a bedroom attached and then a a restroom, a toilet shower

and then a kitchen unit in where the cars were originally would go. Yeah. And so I don't even think I don't think that built that that was legal for him to do

cuz Yeah. to deck it out like that. But it happened to be that the garage was like behind the this um sort of like gate that you open to go to the backyard. So um it was kind of hidden away from um you know the streets like if you were driving by the house you wouldn't see that that's what they had done to the garage. Yeah.

So basically it was one big room. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um there was a door that led to the quote unquote bedroom like and toilet and shower. So it you could have, you know, um you could be in two separate like spaces though

at one time. At one time. Yeah. Yeah. At one time. Yeah. You joke when people um ask you like, "What's wrong with you?" You say, "Well, I was raised by a 50year-old woman when that's your only friend." And that really cracks me up when you say that. But I mean, what has your grandmother said about your choice to arrive here and to come here? You have talked about this quite a bit on stage and in this this American life. There's a beautiful episode where you even joke about like you know your life is traumatic when Ira Glass calls you and says

oh yeah yeah that it's not good. But what did your grandmother tell you about the choice to bring you all here? And really you spent your childhood in that garage.

Yeah. I think well so my grandma and I hadn't really talked about it in depth until kind of Ira Glass

which was just 2023. Yeah. Yeah. Just two years ago. I mean this whole time I just needed

so I want to be like do you want to do it for radio? And I'm like yes yes yes. Now I would like to uncover what's going on or else you know I'm fine with just not knowing. You know, the truth hurts, right? And so I want to do it not alone. And it helped that I got to do it with Ira and the thousands and thousands of thousands of listeners.

Yes. Right. At the same time, then I'm really not alone. It wasn't funny though, you know. I mean, you told it in a a very um matterofact way and a very moving way as well. I just wondered as someone Yeah. as someone who is always used to bringing in that that little bit of humor into it. What was that like for you to share that story in that way?

Well, you know, my basis my base I feel like I always say there's like a kind of aura of sadness around me,

you know, because the truth is my mom as we're speaking is I can picture her right now. She's sitting upstairs in the house that uh my uncle owns, my other uncle. Um and she is laying in bed and she hasn't left that house in a long long time. She uh you know doesn't have any friends. She um is severely depressed and you know I she I just all my life my mom has suffered and I I I I think about that all the time as I get to do things like tour and travel see the world. come to here the west side even you know as I go out drinking with friends my mom can't do any of those things she's suffering so much right and so um so I have the ability to tap into I think um I guess just being present and real especially when dealing with heavy topics you know um when I'm trying to protect an audience when I'm trying to protect other people which is why I became a performer. I I love people and I love the arts because of that. Uh yes,

I'm going to do it with humor. You know, people paid tickets to come see me. I'm not going to just tell you sad stories. I'm going to make sure you laugh so you can forget your problems, right?

It's so interesting you use the word protect as a way to entertain. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what it is. I mean, for me, for me as a performer, that's what I want people to have is to um feel seen by the end of my shows, but also um that they got to have a good time

because then they're going back to their regular life. And I don't know what that's like.

Yeah. And um so so yeah naturally you know doing a piece like I did with Ira Glass right where it was um because I was discovering things for the first time too interviewing my dad

as you're telling the story right because some one thing that you do in your comedy is um and in this story is really parse out how

when you're living it you don't know all the pieces of the puzzle. So you didn't really know your grandmother's reasoning. You don't know your mother's side of the story even with your father and that connection of how they came together. And so you were learning it as you were as you were actually putting that story together.

Right. Right. Real time detective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really noting what you said about like how your mother's presence is kind of always with you. You can imagine where she is actually in this very moment. What's interesting is your mother was not diagnosed with schizophrenia you share until she was much older. She was in her 30s.

So growing up, what did you when did it become aware when did you become aware that she was suffering and and that maybe she wasn't like other mothers? I think that I was always in denial a little bit. I still am. you know there uh I still think that I think this of everyone that is going through mental illness because I think it is true I truly believe it that like however much you know there is um I don't know quote unquote abnormality going on or like uh chemical imbalances going on underneath that is the real you is the beautiful real you that loves dancing if you're my Um, my mom was a ballerina when she was young or loved to put on plays with her neighborhood friends, you know, when she lived in a small village in Taiwan. Um or you know whatever your story is, whatever you're into as a person, you know, uh before bipolar or depression or multiple personality disorder or whatever that you um have come across,

you know, I I truly believe that about each each person. When did you start when was it apparent to you when you were younger, you guys living in this garage, that your mother was suffering? I knew before I even was moved to America in Japan, you know, all of my classmates, their parents were still together. You know, it was classicing in a sense that I'm realizing so Japanese family structures at the time uh I guess '9s, right? um were was very classic in a way that like fits for society, but maybe it's not great for

uh weirdos, right? What in what way? Yeah. And women and you know, it's just the classic patriarchal structure. The the man of the household is the bread winner and he goes to work every day, whether he's a salary man or an engineer or whatever he does, right? And then the mom is a stay-at-home mom. she cooks and um if there's like school uh plays that are being put on, right? Um they'll both go. The parents will both go. Um

that's what we Yeah. That's what we see on TV, right? Yes. Right. So, I did notice, you know, uh you know, for at like school plays or parental meetings, it was always both parents present for all the other kids. um when I would go have playdates at their house too. It was both parents there on the weekends and stuff.

And so was it your grandmother who would take you to those things? Right. So it would be my grandma. Yeah. And uh you know sometimes it would be like whispers like okay is it

who she bringing this time? Is it grandma? Is her mom going to show up? What's her mom look like? We don't even know.

Does she have a dad? You know and um what would you tell people when they'd ask you about your mom? Well, I remember one time telling my um like second grade teacher because she she she she knew that my mom was sick. That was the word I would use.

My grandma told me she was sick and I knew something was off. So, I was like, "Oh, she's sick with something." And so, you know, and then my I remember trying to describe to my teacher what would happen sometimes. And uh one, you know, my mom also has seizures. So that was the part that she understood. She was like, "Oh, wow. She she has seizures and then she'll just fall."

Yeah. And okay, that's that's intense. Yeah. I can see why it's hard for her to physically be at the school or get places, you know. I didn't know how to quite describe her mental state. Yeah. Cuz I, you know, I was

a kid. A kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what was revealed in that this American Life piece and what you've gone on to reveal is that your grandmother really just wanted to have you. She wanted to protect you, but she knew that maybe circumstances weren't the best in Japan, and she knew your you alone with your mother maybe wouldn't have been the best, so she brought you here. But um I found this really fascinating um this relationship that you all have because it's such a deep profound relationship. You did this wonderful documentary when you were um in college where you documented sort of a day in the life of you and your mom and your grandmother and you called them Laurel and Hardy and there was sort of a humor there just in watching them do day-to-day activities.

Yeah. But that was like a twosome. But in reality, your childhood was a threesome. You all were the three amigos in a way. What was your role in that that sort of trifecta, you know?

Yeah. Well, you know, I felt like I was super an observer. That's kind of I didn't really think about it till now when you brought up, you know, me documenting them, right? um in so that was in art school where I was you know playing with documentary film making which meant that I was behind the camera when I was filming them right and now I'm like oh she's a star what is she doing behind the camera I said where's this trio it's just two people you know where's my facetime my camera time but anyway so you know being behind the camera I realized oh I was kind of going back to I guess my childhood where I was observing a lot

I was observing my mom, my grandma. So, I didn't know how to fit into the picture of the trio quite yet.

Yes. Because um you know, it seemed unstable. I was like, do I go in this trio? Uh do I want to be a part of this trio? When I was 17, I started dating someone for the first time in my life. And I took off with him, you know, to go live with him in Santa Clarita, which is uh

not too far from here. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a 40minute drive from that garage. And so I was like, I'm out of here. Here's my new family. This this boy.

A lot of your comedy revolves around um you not knowing basic life skills like how to do laundry. And I thought, well, that's interesting because you were raised by a Taiwanese grandmother. So you know at the same time there's like this combination of uh wonder and innocence in you and also uh a maturity.

Oh. Uhhuh. Right. Yeah. Emotionally very mature. I have a lot of feels and love for human beings. You know, I will never My goal in life is to make sure nobody feels left out. And that I can do for humans. But

if you tell me watch my purse, I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I could promise you that, but I will be there emotionally. If you, you know, if you tell me that you feel alone or left out or something sad has has happened to you, I know how to be there for you. But, you know, to do something and I'm getting better. I'm getting better at the tangible uh being on top of things.

Yeah. So, you know, um like obviously I won't lose your purse, but there was a time in my life where you really couldn't trust me with that.

Yeah. With those basic things. I think your your friend um DLo DLO said like you talked to my friend DLO.

I did not talk to your friend DLO, but DLo has talked to lots of other people in articles and things. So I actually watch I read an article where DLO said you live like 10 seconds behind everything else that happens to you. And I wondered what did they mean by that. DLO I swear to God when I first met DLo he didn't tell me this but he he asked other people if I was on drugs

because we were about to do a show together in San Francisco and uh before stage. Yeah. I was just, you know, I had my purse and my purse is was always a little open, you know, and sometimes things would fall out of it and I would walk. I'm a little pigeon toaded. So if I wore heels, I wore more heels back then, you know, I would just click clack click clack, things would fall out. Oh, there's Osco coming. Boom. Maybe, you know, bump into a wall and then be on stage. But, you know, I would charm the audience. You know, I would do well. And comedy was the one place I really thrived. And then and then, you know, we'll go back to the hotel and I'll realize I've left my wallet.

You know what I mean? I was like that. And so I think that's what he meant. He literally

I guess had asked uh the other comedians and the producers, hey, is she is she on drugs and should we be gentle with her?

I said, "What? No, this is just me." Right. You know, I was thinking about the your mother's diagnosis and what it was like um growing up with her, but she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her mid30s. Was that a relief to know a name for what you had been experiencing throughout your childhood? Did that offer anything to you by the time that happened? Oh. Um, it did not because I I think I didn't super look into it on my own. I was afraid for more probably truth. Yeah.

What do you mean by that? So, I used to go to church um when I first, you know, got to the states and my uncle who we were staying with and his wife, you know, my aunt and uncle were going to church.

What kind of church? It was a Chinese Baptist church. And that's how you end up going there, right? Is like it's easy if you're an immigrant. It's very easy for them to be like, "Well, you need friends, right?"

And this is a place you can get friends. It's church. Yeah. Right. And you you like free food. I was like, "Yes, yes. Do we do outings sometimes? We go, you know, play basketball at the park. I like that." So, yeah, I ended up there and, you know, um because of that and then I became super Christian, right? like on my own. Um I think you know right I needed something to believe in or something. It it was community all these things and I was still confused about why we didn't go back to Japan.

Yes. And my mom's condition and in that garage. So I took it very seriously to the point I even like signed up for Jesus camp on my own.

Joy of Jesus camp. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It was Is that Is that what it's called? Joy of Jesus.

There is a camp called Joy of Jesus. and it's a Baptist camp and it's all over the country and so when you said Jesus camp I just thought about that.

Yeah. Yeah. It was somewhere it was in Big Bear but it was like usually you know churches sign up together like the youth group will sign up together.

One year nobody from my church signed up but I was like I'm going to do it on my own because that's how much of a believer I am.

What an insane thing. I had no group representing me. It was just me on my own. And so I went and um I remember at the camp there were like these prayer groups and prayer meetings we would break it off into. And one night it was like me and like 30 people in a prayer group. And I I asked for them to pray for my mom. pray for my mom to get better, to you know um to to to be freed from the voices in her head and all these things from the suffering from severe depression from the seizures from you know feeling so isolated and down all the time and and then I remember like when the when 30 people are praying for you out loud

and you're like in big bear it's almost like a vacation right we were outdoors overlooking like forests and mountains. It was so beautiful. I truly thought that it was going to work.

I remember believing like like I was in middle school. I remember believing, "Oh my gosh, this is really different. I've prayed for this before, but it's really going to when I go home, she's going to be healed."

Even with medication, I mean, yeah, the medication, you know, she we had to choose. Do we treat the seizures more or the voices more? because those two kinds of medications cancel each other out. So,

Oh, we uh decided to treat the seizures more because that's more, you know, immediately fatal and scarier just cuz it's physical. Yeah.

What a choice to have to make, right? Yeah. And so, I mean, that's something I found out later, but maybe that's what I was afraid of, right? Like being told that, well, you have to choose seizures or schizophrenia. I'm like, they both start with an S. Jesus Christ. You have to choose one or the other. Okay. And that's a bummer, too. Yeah.

Did you ever try to make your mom laugh growing up? I did. Yeah. But for a big chunk of my life, I was very scared of her. Yeah. So, I would try to avoid her. Um, sometimes I would uh entertain her. Yeah.

What did that look like? I would take like toys that I had in the house. I would give her one and I would have the other one and we would sort of play out scenarios where maybe we're battling bad people that are coming to us, you know, get them over here to the left, to the right, mom, behind us. They're we're surrounded. I don't know. We're always surrounded by evil spirits. I don't know. It's so poetic now that I think about it now.

That's what she would say. Like you guys were always around evil spirits. Yeah,

maybe. Yeah. And so I would uh fight it off with her. Not that that was a funny thing or it was trying to make her laugh, but I think it was me trying to entertain her

and you know and myself. That was one way we could hang out was pretending there were other things going on

instead of just us, you know, sitting down for a chat or whatever. Um you're in your late 30s now, right? You're you're somewhere in the there.

Yeah. 30. Yeah. 37. I just turned 37. Thank you for the reminder. Happy birthday. Your birthday just happened. Happy belated birthday.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I stay humble. Was there ever a fear that you might inherit a mental illness?

Um, you know, my dad mentioned that he was afraid something might have passed down to me, but I never feared that. Yeah. Something I realized is like I, you know, sometimes people ask, "Are you scared of dying?" Things like that.

Yeah. I don't think about that for myself at all. I think about it for other people. I'm constantly afraid people around me might pass or something will happen to them. But I never go, am I going to get mental illness? Am I going to die? I never think about that. something really interesting. You found out while dating your husband, was it very early on, that his his um his mother also has schizophrenia,

right? Yes. Yeah. How serendipitous. I know. What a what a princess fairy tale love story. Right.

Right. So, it's something that you all bonded over um through dating and um I can imagine there are things that you all just don't even have to say to each other that you sort of just know implicitly um through your actions, through your decisions and things like that. When did that become clear to you that not only do we both share in this same experience of having a mother, but there are things that now I see in you and you see in me that maybe maybe you hadn't seen in anyone else before.

Yeah, that's very true. You know, I saw glimpses of it very early on, right? We both love to entertain. We both love to um make other people laugh. He's very witty. He's very funny, my husband. And uh he's a natural caretaker, too. Yeah. So, you know, for example, he tours with me. Um, he makes sure that I don't feel left out by making sure other people can pronounce my name. Things like that that he'll do for me on the road. You know, his name is Ryan, so he's he knows he's never really had to go through that experience. He's seen it through me, though.

And so, um, those little glimpses, right, that I also see in myself because of my upbringing.

Yeah. Um yeah. And then you know on one of our earlier dates we were uh having drinks outside. It was like a bar with a patio outside and there was an unhoused man who was talking to himself and kind of scaring the uh people at the bar. Um and um I knew what was going on with him, you know. Uh and

uh my husband, he knew how to deal with it, too. He was also um a manager at a coffee shop. So, you know, people were kind of scared of this man kind of stumbling and is he going to walk into this establishment, whatever. My husband needed to like look at him calmly and sort of talk him, you know, out of like being in that area, but you know, very kindly cuz we know that's schizophrenia that's going on. Yeah.

You all have a lens into the world. um through your understanding. I think about work living in a place like LA or or any major city where you're encountering people who are having mental health episodes all the time.

But what does it also mean for you to see the world react to it and not understand it?

Yeah, I I understand, right? not wanting to understand it or be scared of it because it is hard. It's not black and white. You know, human beings were super nuanced. And so add oh my gosh, chemical imbalances and mental illness on top of that. That makes it even harder. It's a case by case basis.

Yeah. I want to talk a little bit about this latest standup special because you talk about reconnecting with your father in it and he's always lived in Japan. So essentially you grew up here in the states in LA where you all arrived without him and I want to talk more about that in the moment but he has brought up the idea of you and your husband having children and

here's what you had to say about that in the special. I have reconnected with my dad and we're very close. But he really wants me to have kids because he thinks that's how you undo a traumatic past. And I always have to be like, "Oh, dad, I think our family should stop. Should should stop." In fact, Ryan has a vasectomy scheduled for the end of the year.

Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, thank you. Thank you. I booked it. Thank you. Thank you so much. That was my guest today, Adsco Akatska in her new Hulu comedy special, Father. What I love about that is that it's very singular because it's your experience, but I think that a lot of people can also feel that way, like we're not passing down this generational trauma here, right? Right. Um, but was not having children something that you always knew for yourself that you didn't want or did that come with you and Ryan together making that decision based on your history? It's something I I never really wanted, you know, and then Ryan happened to feel the same way, too. So, when we came together, it was an easy thing to, you know, come to a conclusion about. We didn't even have to come to a conclusion. We were just like, "This is how we feel."

Yeah. Yeah. And he has had that vasectomy. Actually, he has since then. Yes. Yes. Yes. Look how excited you are. Woo! Yeah. He's We're free. Well, it was a long process of healing, but Yes.

Margaret Cho. Um you tell the story about how being at this Baptist church, uh right, someone gave you a DVD. Did they give you that DVD because they already could see you were funny or was it just a coincidence?

I think they knew. Yeah, we would joke around a lot about stuff and you know, she said she was older than me, this girl who passed me the DVD. Yeah.

Yeah. And uh she said, "I think I think you'll like this." Yeah. Um and she gave me an example of a joke that Margaret Cho had, which was, "Oh, she you know, she's she's really pr prolific. It's uh she has a joke about how like you know Hello Kitty um you know she's Hello Kitty that's her name but she doesn't have a mouth so how does she say hello or something like that

and I was like oh that's you know as a kid I was I I found that to be so funny and neat

and so yeah I think it's because she saw that I would enjoy it many years later you're face to face with Margaret Cho you guys are not just relating and like a hey I'm a fan you're relating in a

I see you and you're my friend kind of talk a little bit about that the significance of that you being in this world where this person kind of showed you the way

oh my gosh this is what I love about comedians you know comedians we really know what it feels like to be sort of alone in our craft you know we don't we're not an improv team. It's not a play we get to do every night with a whole team. Yeah.

You know, it's just us on stage. It's us when we're writing. Sometimes, you know, you can have friends to bounce off jokes with. Some people have writer rooms even to write their standup jokes. Uh but because of that, we just know, you know, um what that feels like. And it's it's really cool with Margaret Cho because it's kind of full circle.

Yeah. I I was really touched. I think she said about you that when she looks at you from the moment she first um became acquainted with your work that you just knew who you were immediately because she didn't know. And I think that's just she didn't know for herself when she first started off.

I think that's so powerful because you know who you are in part because you were able to see her do it.

Oh, for sure. Without Margaret Cho, there's no me. There's without even Bobby Lee who is one of the first without Joe Koy you know there wouldn't be me without a lot of people right and we can go on with the list without Anime Wong who is an actress and not a comedian but there wouldn't be me okay I have to ask you about being these like titles of being the first or the second um what do they mean to you do they hold significance to you because on one hand I mean they're they're said like this is an honor You're only the second.

At the same time, it's like it's 2025, you know? Mhm. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's kind of like the being an inspiration thing that I talk about. It's like you don't want to be an inspiration. You don't ever want to make the news cuz that means something bad happened, right? Or something, you know, bad has been happening, right? Um yeah it's yeah it's 2025 but you know I think that's why I invest so much in the people because the people have always known the people will always know before the five to 10 deciders

who give you a special the folks you mean when you say the people you mean the people who come to see you in your standup and follow you on social

that's right yeah because those are the people the bus drivers the people who wait tables, the librarians, the doctors, whoever, right? The people who, you know, the people who aren't afraid of, I don't know, I guess losing money, who is the exec at a place that, you know, decides whether you have a special or TV show or not. Um, you know, they're they want that content and they they say they want it. That's why social media has blossomed so much, honestly, because that's where citizens, the people are. One of the things I think I heard you say is that you're like there's a three-prong approach to your uh your comedy. It's your voice, it's the material, and it's also what you do with your body when you're on when you're standing on the stage, right?

That each of those by themselves you actually don't think is kind of funny. You think it's like all three of those things that it's actually the magic.

It's the father, son, and holy ghost. Um, yeah, I guess so. Right. Yeah, that's how I um how I express myself.

How did you discover that? Especially when it comes to your aesthetic. I mean, your fashion game is what you are known for secondary to you being funny. You wear these bright, beautiful colors. Your hair is on point. I mean, your your hair stylist, did they like when you were out in the parking lot do a little snip snip to make sure that that bowl cut is as straight as can be? Like, how did you come to that look? Had you always been a fashion person?

I um I don't think I was. I used to even wear like my grandma's clothes as a kid. um whatever she got her hands on.

And you know when someone 50 years older than you is dressing you, sometimes it was like plaid on plaid on plaid, what is going on? You know, or her idea of what a kid would wear. So sometimes it was like Hello Kitty top, Hello Kitty pants, you know, bright red shoes, polkadotted shoelaces, right? And uh I think the randomness of that was kind of um it it pushed me to, you know, be out there looking wild. Um, when I was a kid, I had this bull cut, too. And, uh, a lot of Asian kids have it when they're a kid. And, um, but I love I love like I love I do love fashion and I love uh the arts. And so, I love like looking like a art gallery owner a little bit, but also, you know, it's a a lot of um Asians say, "Hey, I had that haircut as a kid. It was a nightmare." You know, everyone made fun of me. I think it's so ugly and I like challenging that a little bit to be like, well, the things that made me feel like a freak,

right? I'm going to own. Now I get to choose my own look. Right. And it's chic. It's chic now.

And it's fashion, right? And people show up wearing wigs of my bull cut to my shows now. I've started a movement.

Do you remember that first set what you joked about? Yes, I do. Yeah. I remember one of my first jokes.

What was it? Yeah. It's um um oh this guy found out I was Japanese and he said Japanese huh? Well I have a really good friend who works at Mitsubishi. Do you know Gary? And I go Gary? No. No I don't know Gary. I know Tom. That was my first joke. Yeah.

How did the crowd respond to it? They they laughed. They laughed. Yeah. They loved it. Yeah. And I was like, "Oh cool." So much of your comedy is uh it's light and observational, but there is an element where you're also subversive where you are sitting in your identity as um an AsianAmerican woman, but yet you're also like challenging the stereotypes. There was this uh this uh video that's out there where someone asked you about taking off your shoes in the house

and taking off your outside clothes when you're getting in the bed. And you said not only do you not take off your shoes, you also lay down with your outside clothes in your bed. Jail. Jail. Arrest her. Arrest me. Jail. Solitary confinement. Um yes. Yes, that was me. I cannot find I cannot believe you found it TA you were trying to cancel me and no but that is out there and but it but the reason why it's so funny actually is because while you're leaning into who you are you're also like really giving us another lens into what it means to be a multitude of a person as an Asian-American because we start off thinking about those early Asian-American comedians and the things that often they were pushed and forced into and then here you are talking about here's what I'm not.

Thank you so much. You you couldn't I couldn't have said it better myself and that is why I still wear shoes in the house sometimes and I was like clothes on the bed.

Did you get some hate from that? Yeah, people were like jail, jail, put her in jail. But, you know, yes, there's I didn't have a conventional upbringing. So, there's various reasons why, you know, shoes in the house became a thing. Like, you know, my my mom and grandma my grandma is 50 years old. My grandma's 90 now. Okay. And, you know, they both wear diapers, my mom and grandma.

Yeah. There's in in is it incontinents? Is that what continents? There's incontinents going on. So there is urine on the floor and so we just found it easier to wear shoes for example you know around the house. Um

and so you know there's little things like that then having to you know uh take your shoes off and then clean it and then take your shoes off you know over and over and then washing your feet you know it's just yeah it's uh just you know no family is the same. No Asians are the same. We're not a monolith.

Of course. Yeah. You went to college, you tried out a lot of things. You also went to art school. You produced this documentary we were talking about where you followed your mother and grandmother. We got to see some of the realities of their lives. And one of the things that really struck me is that um as you said like your mom's always on your mind. Um, you all are a trio and as they age, I wonder how you are, how are you, how are you dealing with it as you become an individual more and more out in the world and the people that you grew up with that are like you never really saw yourself outside of them are aging.

Yeah. Like like how how are you dealing with it? Yeah, it's something I think I'm thinking about as I, you know, I'm touring with my new show um after father and those are the themes I'm actually talking about more because I am going through it and thinking about you know my grandma's mortality for example because um she is 91 and you know she's getting physically sick a lot more like uh she got her first ever UTI um high blood pressure issues. Uh I gave her a bath for the first time recently. You know, I'm learning these new things.

Yes. And so um it is something I'm thinking about and more and more I think you could see that like on my socials my social media I I don't feature them as much anymore. I am becoming very much my own person in that you know um in I'm in that phase that you were talking about where you're like oh when maybe there's trauma happening you don't know it yet so in a year it'll be funny or I'll be able to talk about it

right but right now you know it's like I got my therapist and then you know um we're figuring out more medical stuff with my mom and you know me and my husband are figuring out um medical stuff with grandma too. So yeah, it's we're we're just in the thick of it right now. Yeah.

Tell me about this new show. Well, this new show is uh it is about like you know caretaking and also um now I have a I also recently met my brother for the first time.

Your brother from whom? My dad's side. Yeah, because my dad's side is full of surprises too. I'm I'm finding

and I just realize we might have like skipped right past this after I mentioned your father, but when you moved here at eight, you lived with your mom and your grandmother and you had so many questions in your mind about your father. Why didn't he intervene and stop you from coming here to the States? Even when you all forged a relationship, you never asked those questions until you were on this American life. And he shared with you that he felt that maybe it was best for you to be with your mom and grandmother, but he felt a lot of pain about it.

Right. Right. But he had two adult two children older than you when you were born from a previous marriage.

Right. And I didn't even mention the third one. There's another brother and that's the brother I met recently. So yeah, my dad's gone through a lot. But um so uh this past Christmas I when I went to go see my dad I I got to meet this brother too for the first time.

Can you say publicly what this new show is yet or is it still under wraps though?

Oh yeah. No, I'm touring it now. I'm currently on tour with it. Uh I just came out with a tour title. It's just called the Big Bowl tour.

Ah okay. Where my bowl cut is four times bigger than it is right now in in the flyer in the poster. Yeah. Yeah. And you know in a in it I really talk about going back home to Japan and you know and this reconnection with my my brother. Yeah. As well. How do you brace yourself for um these surprises? Cuz you know I think when when we we turn 18, we turn 21. We kind of we know who we are. We're set. We understand our origin story. But your origin story keeps evolving.

Yeah, I know. Because people be wild. No one was ready to have a kid is what I'm realizing,

right? All of our parents, everyone was improvising, hence secrets, right? And so, how do I embrace it? Oh my gosh, in my unhinged ways, right? So, when my dad, you know, was like, well, your brother is here in Japan and we just reconnected. Would you want to meet him? I said, every time I come back to Japan, it's like a new piece of information. Yeah. What is up with my family? What is up with you guys? I have a every time I have a new sibling. Yeah. Okay. Yes, of course I want to meet him. But I said if we're going to meet do something dramatic like that, it's got to be under my terms.

What were your terms? We're going to meet at a ninja samurai theme park. What? Near my brother where my brother lives near. Yeah. And so he lives in Niko which is like

a few hours away from Tokyo. Yeah. And I said, you know, there's a Ninja Samurai theme park that I I I want to go back and revisit. It's really fun. It's mostly like 12-year-old kids and white guys that go.

How did you know about it? Was it a place you knew before and you're like, I got to get there?

I went there once with my dad and when I was like 20. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. When I got my green card and I could go visit him finally, I I went and um we went we went to that park together. Um and this time I had Ryan with me. I was like, I want to enjoy, you know, uh this, you know, running away from like ninja actors and samurai scare actors. And there's a performance every 30 minutes. There's a lot going on where I was like, we will never really have to communicate.

You can meet your brother, but you guys don't have to deal in feelings. That's right. Yeah. It's me running away from feelings.

What's your mom's name? Linda. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I know that's her American. We all know that.

Oh, okay. Okay. Right. Right. Look at me. So, like being under that hypnosis of her name is Linda. Uh um Shing. Shing. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, hi Shing. Yes. Yeah, I'll tell her that. Yeah. And then she'll be like, I go by Linda,

right? You told them that name. Yeah. Atco Akatska. This has been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for having me. You This was so in-depth and insightful, and I learned things about me through you, so I appreciate you.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air"?

Tanya (Host), Atsuko Okatsuka (Guest).

What is "Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air" about?

Atsuko Okatsuka discusses her experiences with language, identity, and the nuances of her Japanese name, revealing how these elements have influenced her life as a caretaker and comedian. She reflects on the challenges of growing up in America and the unique blending of culture that informs her comedic perspective.

What is mentioned in this Fresh Air episode?

6 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Atco Akatska, Margaret Cho, Father, Hulu, Big Bear, Jesus Camp. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Atsuko Okatsuka on Caretaking, Comedy, and Growing Up Late | Fresh Air"?

The episode runs 48 min; the transcript is about 8,692 words in 155 timestamped sections.

More from Fresh Air

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.