Transcript

My Final Episode

From H3 Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 3 h 33 min · 39,751 words · 1389 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "My Final Episode", an episode of H3 Podcast published December 19, 2025 (3 h 33 min, about 39,751 words). It mentions 22 people, works and ideas, including Ethan Klein, Gabe, Elvis Dan, Christmas, Idubbbz.

What this episode is about

In the final episode of the year, the hosts reflect on a chaotic 2025 while announcing a month-long break. They discuss their experiences, including humorous remarks about the recent Keemstar incident and share lighthearted banter about the challenges of the past year.

Key takeaways

  • After a wild year, everyone deserves a break—just don't hit any elk on your way out.
  • Keemstar's surprise win proves that even underdogs can steal the spotlight during the holiday season.
  • Driving at night? Watch for moose; hitting one is like crashing into a brick wall—just ask Gabe.
  • Letting deer flourish could disrupt ecosystems, but who knew they had such a biblical claim to the earth?
  • Mixing Mariah Carey and moose videos? The internet's bizarre algorithm never fails to entertain and confuse.

Who speaks in this episode?

  • Ethan Klein (Host) · 2 h 8 min speaking
  • Gabe (Guest) · 43 min speaking
  • Dan (Guest) · 32 min speaking
  • Ela (Guest) · 11 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 15:00: Christmas, Gabe, World Series, Keemstar
  2. – 30:00: Keemstar, Christmas, H3 Lore, Boogie
  3. – 45:00: Idubbbz, Ethan Klein, Christmas, Prize Pix
  4. – 1:00:00: Ethan Klein, Elvis Dan, Christmas, Keemstar
  5. – 1:15:00: Elvis Dan, Christmas, Lena
  6. – 1:30:00: Outdoor Tom
  7. – 1:45:00: Christmas, Ethan Klein
  8. – 2:00:00: Christmas, Idubbbz
  9. – 2:30:00: Ethan Klein, Christmas, Idubbbz
  10. – 2:45:00: Christmas
  11. – 3:15:00: Christmas, Teddy Glow, Mega Man, World Series
  12. – 3:30:00: Idubbbz

Notable quotes from "My Final Episode"

  • Thank you. Thank you, Gabe. We're brushing our teeth. did you just wake up? What's going on, Gabe [snorts] with the red cup? Shout out.
    about Gabe · at
  • Just a reminder, this is our last show, but Teddy Glow is still the perfect gift for Christmas or the holidays for yourself or anyone else there that you might love.
    about Christmas · at
  • The crew. So it the individual crew members have pages dedicated to them on HD Lore, but a lot of the newer members of the show didn't yet have one. And so those are being rolled out with the.
    about H3 Lore · at
  • Let's watch one. This is Dan saves the ad read. Let's see what it is. Boy, it takes you right to the time stamp.
    about Elvis Dan · at
  • Pathetic behavior. You said how so dumb. [snorts] I don't know. The fact that Keemstar used to be enemy of the show, the amount of trash your boss would talk about him and…
    about Keemstar · at
  • An alternative title for this episode which got vetoed was one more Idubbbz humiliation for the road.
    about Idubbbz · at
  • Ana thinks I would kill with the straight ladies on Only Fans.
    about Ethan Klein · at
  • Download the Prize Picks app today and use code H3 to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code H3 to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.
    about Prize Pix · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Ethan Klein — Person · Host / central speaker · 5 mentions · first at
    Leads the episode, conducts sponsor reads, drives segments (Keemstar win, Idubbbz clip, Secret Santa), and is repeatedly referenced in the OnlyFans discussion clip.
  • Gabe — Person · Guest / call-in · 3 mentions · first at
    Appears at the start for holiday banter, sponsor shoutout, and discussion of religion and the Pope; framed as a recurring show personality.
  • Elvis Dan — Person · Co-host / producer / segment lead · 3 mentions · first at
    Runs parts of the show while Ethan steps away, is featured in H3 Lore 'top moments', and is a major participant in the Secret Santa exchange.
  • Idubbbz — Person · Referenced subject of segment / ridicule · 7 mentions · first at
    Central to a long clip/segment framed as 'one more Idubbbz humiliation', including OnlyFans talk and past boxing losses and NFT controversy.
  • Keemstar — Person · Referenced personality / recurring topic · 6 mentions · first at
    Discussed as the winner of the show's soundbite tournament and referenced in jokes and audience backlash about past feud history.
  • Outdoor Tom — Person · Crew member / on-mic participant · 3 mentions · first at
    Participates in banter (driving/stop sign joke, Keemstar 'packing' bit) and later appears in the Secret Santa segment setup.
    Menaces in Or it's like running a stop sign, right, Tom?
  • Lena — Person · Crew member / Secret Santa giver · 2 mentions · first at
    Revealed as Love's Secret Santa and gives a set of gifts (vintage Coke, cooler, novelty foods).
    Good. So, we had a budget of we try to stick to around $75 each, but some people went over and yeah, first Lena will be giving love.
  • Boogie — Person · Referenced personality (clip reaction) · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears in a clip during Keemstar's victory message, spitting liquid; discussion notes his dog is not doing well.
    Yeah, Boogiey's going through it. I think Boogie's puppy is not doing well.
  • Nina Lynn — Person · Referenced antagonist / controversy subject · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as a 'vile' person and noted as being (supposedly) permanently banned on Twitch; debated whether it's truly permanent.
    You should be okay. This is dumb that I'm not talking about this dumb Nina [ __ ] Lynn idiot. She's [ __ ] [snorts].
  • Alexander Francis — Person · Referenced religious leader · 1 mention · first at
    Brought up while discussing Catholicism and the Pope; used as a comparison point when talking about 'the last pope'.
    Were I What was the last pope's name? I forget. Francis.
  • David Licker — Person · Referenced creator/brand persona (joke) · 1 mention · first at
    Named in the Teddy Glow plug as a comedic attribution ('from David Licker').
    It's no playing that. You don't have to be a star David Licker to enjoy Teddy Glow.
  • J Shetty — Person · Referenced influencer (religion/rave joke) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as someone who 'probably been to' a Buddhist rave; corrected as likely Hindu.
    J Shett's a Hindu monk, right? I don't think he's Buddhist.
  • Nick Merks — Person · Referenced creator (OnlyFans comparison) · 1 mention · first at
    Named in the Idubbbz humiliation clip as another creator who would attract straight women on OnlyFans.
    Nick Merks. True. Actually, I kind of Oh, even Nick Merks is getting a nod from Ana.

Companies & orgs

  • H3 Lore — Company · Referenced community/companion site · 2 mentions · first at
    Promoted as having content during the break, including crew pages and curated 'top moments' with timestamps.

Products & tech

  • Teddy Glow — Product · Merch/product plug · 2 mentions · first at
    Promoted as a Christmas gift; discussed as sold out with mention of best-selling lip balm.
    Just a reminder, this is our last show, but Teddy Glow is still the perfect gift for Christmas or the holidays for yourself or anyone else there that you might love.
  • AI — Product · Referenced explanation (authenticity doubt) · 2 mentions · first at
    Used to express disbelief about the Pope rave clip and the Idubbbz clip, suggesting they feel like AI-generated content.
    This isn't like a AI video that you generated. Did you write the script for this?
  • HelloFresh membership — Product · Referenced product (in clip) · 1 mention · first at
    Appears in a replayed comedic clip about an ad read; used as a punchline.
    That was not going to be aborted. Your HelloFresh membership. Did that kill the music?

Places & events

  • Christmas — Event · Seasonal framing event · 23 mentions · first at
    Sets the episode context (final show of the year), drives gift exchange/Secret Santa, travel plans, and sponsor/product positioning.
  • World Series — Event · Referenced sports event · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in the comedic story about the Pope being seen at the 2003 World Series and blessing a jersey.
    He blessed a Dodgers jersey during the World Series.

Media & podcasts

  • Mega Man — Media · Referenced media (sweater / nostalgia) · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned via Dan's Mega Man Christmas sweater and discussion of a new Mega Man game announcement.
    That's fine. Do it again. yes, people are pointing out my Mega Man Christmas sweater. people in the audience might not know, but I actually I grew up with Mega Man.

Sponsors

  • Prize Pix — Company · Sponsor (primary ad read name variant) · 2 mentions · first at
    Main sponsor segment: betting promo around Jake Paul vs Anthony Joshua; includes code H3 offer and feature explanations.
  • HelloFresh — Company · Former sponsor (clip reference) · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears in a replayed 'Dan top moments' clip about an ad read; explicitly stated they are no longer a sponsor.
    Today, today's episode is sponsored by HelloFresh.

Full transcript with timestamps

Hello everybody. Welcome to the final show of the year. It is 2025. But yes, so you guys decided to go on break or what?

Can't wait to get out of here. Well, we're all excited and I'll tell you, it's been a crazy ass year and we're all

we all could use a break, eh? Oh, yeah. And we're taking a long one this year. Uh, a month off. So, although we'll be gone for a while, I know you all will understand the need.

And we're going to come. Yes. Jordan Peterson. And I am not taking what you're pushing.

No, I am not. And I am not taking health or medical advice from you, sir, of all people. Really?

Yes. Really? A month? Yes. This guy, he's on lifesaver. Yeah. Um, we now are living in a uh post Keemstar uh soundbite winner world.

Wow. Wow. Keemstar won uh last he won. Actually, I'll be honing annihilated me on in the finals. I I'll be honest. I thought I was going to win for sure,

but Keem Stark, he swept in and in the discard, can I say sometimes the underdog has their day?

What can I say? Every dog has his day. Mhm. Except for that. A witch dog. Which dog doesn't have his day.

Keem hit on Christmas. Oh, that dog had a rough day. Well, you could might call it a day. Not a good day.

Mhm. Yeah. Come on. He's just He's Come on. We just honored the man. Yeah. No. No. I I tease. I tease.

Was he speeding when it happened? About it. It sounded like it was an accident. It

was an accident. He seemed beat up about it. Yeah. But he did kill He did. He did hit a dog.

It's hard to move by move past that. Yeah. I mean, I've never hit like an animal like that. I would be devastated

if that happened. I would feel so bad. Hitting a deer. And I know that's like really common in places where there's lots of deer. Freaks me out, man. They're huge. They're here. They'll [ __ ] your car up.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they just walk off and leave your car all screwed up. Yeah. I mean, it's like driving into a brick wall.

Yeah. I used to South Jersey. There's a lot of deer just running around, right?

Menaces in Or it's like running a stop sign, right, Tom? Yeah. Same thing. Pretty much.

In Sweden, we got a lot of elk or moose. Um Oh, those are massive. They're dangerous because they have these dainty legs and then like a school bus up top. So, it just removes the whole cab and like uh decapitates people. Oh my god.

I'm not kidding. Yeah, it's really It's like the worst animal to hit because it's not hitting at the engine. It's hitting the legs and the and then the whole body comes.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, guys. Before I forget, uh before I forget, I want to thank our sponsor, Prize Pick.

Thank you. Thank you, Gabe. We're brushing our teeth. Uh, did you just wake up? What's going on,

Gabe [snorts] with the red cup? Shout out. Just getting ready for the Christmas weekend. 14 day Christmas weekend. You ready for the 14 or 21 day weekend?

I'm having a 30-day weekend. All right. That's Yeah, dude. Gabe, do you usually brush around 100 p.m.? I usually brush when I either get up or I'm ready to go out.

Are you going out or you getting up? Day. You get you getting out or you going up?

I'm getting I'm going I'm getting ready to, you know, do some shopping or something.

Okay. You going to do some Christmas shopping? Nice. By the way, I wanted to show you guys because

show me. If you haven't seen a picture, it's quite startling. They're [ __ ] Wow.

Monsters. So scary. Awful animal to hit. They are monsters. They're beautiful. Look at that. Like that's

loose. And they'll they'll attack you too if they have the kids around. [snorts]

They're huge, dude. That's a lot scary. And look at those antlers. Run. Yeah. Run for your lives. I was driving a motorcycle on like a really small dark road once

and I break in the middle of the night and he was just standing looking at me straight ahead and I was sitting on my motorcycle maybe couple feet away from it.

They're dangerous. It's very charge you. You're [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. But they are they aggressive?

Yeah. Yeah. When they have kids the moms are very aggressive. I'm trying to get a shot. Apparently

in college we had too many deers on campus I guess. So they hired like hunters to come help get rid of them. Yeah, it's pretty [ __ ]

Why? There's too many. Let the deer be. Yeah. Well, there's not what there's not enough grass.

It actually really ruins the environment if you don't if you let [snorts] them just grow.

Yeah. Well, well, I that's but not but they shouldn't be killed. Period. Well, let them be let them take over the earth. The deer shall inherit the earth. That's what the Bible says. MURDER ANIMALS. [screaming]

GABE, are you religious? I've never asked you that. I'm Catholic. Roman Catholic. I don't really believe what um what they say. I have my own beliefs like Catholic do the right things and stuff, but

what are your beliefs? Just out of c whatever you're comfortable. No, no pressure obviously.

No, I believe God. God's on my side. Luck's up on my side. That's what I That's what my belief is. God for luck.

God in what? Luck. Why is that? Why is he showing this? I clicked a moose video and it's showing me Mariah Carey getting [ __ ]

molested. I guess Mariah Care's the god. What the hell? Well, you don't want to hear.

I clicked this moose video. Legendary bull moose of Alaska. Okay. It's just showing me random crap. You got Do you guys Does this happen to you guys?

Yeah. You got to do it like 20 times. Yeah. Let's see. I didn't think it's ever gonna give it to you. Oh no.

Oh, have you seen this? Have you seen this? It's a J C Penney Bill You deserve.

They say it looks like Hitler. Doggy. What is it? That's all I see. Wait. Wait. I see doggy Hitler. It looks like a dog. That's Hitler.

Kyle, why the [ __ ] did they include this kettle of all kettles? Like, and it's just a normal kettle.

I mean, the reflection being the tie. What the [ __ ] It's crazy. Oh my gosh. That is crazy.

If honestly, if it's intentional, I'm impressed that they did it intentionally. That's how weird it is.

I generally think that's probably not a brand friendly move, but who knows? Well, you know, marketing, you know.

Here's a giant moose just uh so you guys can see. But yeah. Damn, dude. They're really cool.

That's a juicer. Yeah, it is a juicer muser. Would you say I would? So what? So do you believe are you down with the pope? Do you believe the pope is the man?

I believe the pope is like the president of religions. I call it the president.

The not the king, the president. The president because he gets a lifetime appointment that only ends when he dies or or sometimes they walk away but not very frequently.

You like the new pope? I haven't really heard anything about him. I know the Argentinian pope, there was lots of buzz about him, but this new pope is like,

"Wait, did we did we ever talk on the show about the blessed rave?" He the pope bless.

Yeah. Okay, hold on. You got to see this video. This is [ __ ] awesome. How do you like the new pope, though?

Or I don't know anything about him. He seems he seems nice. Nice and and understanding. That's what I That's what I lately saw.

Were I What was the last pope's name? I forget. Francis. Francis. Did you like Francis? Were you a fan?

He's good. He's He's pretty good. He's He seems like he's a strong, you know, religion supporter.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's the Pope. He better be, right? The new one from Chicago.

Imagine a Pope atheist. You're like, I'm kind of lukewarm on on the God thing. The anti-popee. Um, that's not [snorts] actually what it is. Apparently, the new pope gave blessed a rave. We're going to pull that up here. Um, let's see. Oh, he showed up to the rave.

No, it was a video message almost. Yeah. Oh, I think I have seen this, but let's watch it.

As you gather before the splendid cathedral of Kosiche, which is up here. Is he Italian? What's his thing?

No, he's from Chicago. He's from Chicago, bro. He was spotted at the American Pope.

Yeah, he's like a big White Sox fan. We're everywhere, baby. He was spotted at the 03 World Series behind home plate on the Chicago

the Pope was sitting home plate back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's the Pope. He could pull that. He's be World Series if the Cubs. He's He's going to be home play.

He's the Pope. He's from Chicago. He's got to sit there in a He really likes the Blues brothers and Dan Akroyd.

Let's hear. He blessed a Dodgers jersey during the World Series. He blessed the Dodgers jersey during the World Series.

That's why the [clears throat] Oh my goodness. I didn't know that. How much they pay him for that one.

Coming from different nations, yet united by the same faith, your presence is a tangible sign of the fraternity and peace that is instilled in our hearts by friendship with Christ. I impart to you my apostolic blessing and entrust each of you to the protection.

Yeah, this is crazy. What is mother of the church? Wait for the draw, bro. Queen of

yo, he's he's leading up to a beast. The blessing of Almighty God, the father and the son, and the holy spirit come upon you.

I'm ready. Amen. Amen. No way. That's so sick, bro. Come on. I'm not going to lie.

I'm about to be uh born again, bro. I'm about to learn this weekend. Now, this goes hard. I have to

I want every religion to do one of these. Good move, dude. And then I'll pick one.

Whoever does the best rave, I'll pick pick the that rel. Yeah. Whoever can put on the best party.

That was [ __ ] cool, bro. I'm telling you. Now, I I have a something else about it to make it even cooler. The DJ

is a cardinal and he's like 80 years old. What? What? There's this cardinal. He's like 80. This and this is his birthday. That's why this is happening.

Did he make this beat? I No, he's probably somebody playing somebody else's song.

So, the Pope came out for his cardinal. Yeah. Yeah. They're like their dog. Family right there.

Your voice. Uh here. Um, this is like a South Park rape. I know. I couldn't I thought it was like an AI video, frankly, when I first saw it. Or just like any like bump, bro.

He look at him bumping the Christ. I like [ __ ] with that big time. Damn, that was sick.

So, yeah, shout out to his family. So, there it is. The Pope is out there and he's doing good work this season. Hey,

is there any Buddhist raves? I feel like that could go hard. J Shetty probably been to one.

Oh, hit me up. Uh J Shett's a Hindu monk, right? I don't think he's Buddhist. Oh, he's Hindu,

I think. Oh my god. Hindu if I'm not speaking out of I try it out. I try it out.

Well, at any rate, listen, Gabe, uh plans [snorts] for the holiday. Are you going home? You staying there with your pops?

I'm going back to LA on Christmas Day. Oh, yeah. We talked about that. We're not here.

Wait, Gabe, are you seriously going to be in LA on Christmas Day? Yeah. Are you Santa Claus?

Ho ho ho. I knew it. I knew it. No way. We caught you. We caught you. I want to

talking about Oh, I'm Catholic. All innocent. You're St. Christ, bro. No, Nick. Catholic.

S not Christ. Jesus Christ. Um, anyway, who uh anyway who uh uh Gabe, have a wonderful holiday. It's so nice to see you. And you know,

nice to see you. I am Santa. Santa wants to Santa Santa wants to [ __ ] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I see.

Who's he want? Wait, hold on. Who's he want to [ __ ] Mrs. Claus, bro. His claws.

Oh, you know his claws. He's just going to tear his wife up. Santa has a hog, dude.

And God bless him. Santa has a hog. He's got a hog, man. But I don't know. At his size, he's got to have crazy like blood pressure issues and cholesterol. That dick probably don't work.

No, he's got like a thick veiny like it looks like his bag, you know? Bro, at that age and that size, I don't think

he's like 900 years, bro. 900 years of slinging dick. Yeah, there you go, man. Why do you think he's got so many reindeer? He's not fat. His dick's fat.

Yeah, the reindeer hold is hot. I I know. I know because I live up there. Yeah. Love those.

And he they It's a misconception that he he doesn't have a sleigh. It's actually his dick.

Right. Right. Running around. Yeah. Well, that that certainly dick was a sleigh.

That certainly changes the tone of the childlike uh fable. Everything's perverted, you know.

Gabe, you buy any of that? I don't know. Whatever. I believe I think either it's it's either true or maybe it's a fiction.

Yeah. Or that's good. Or maybe it's in between. Probably in between. I'll say I'll take that. Maybe truth. A little bit of truth.

All right, Gabe. Have a great one. Have a great year. Let's all Let's all go into the new year with our hearts and minds open to the world and going into 26, which is a beautiful number. We are going to have a great great year in 26. Gabe.

All right, man. $10 cameos, baby. Let's get those Christmas cameos out there. Gab's got to do some Christmas shopping.

Shout out. What are you getting me, Gabe? What happened? Yeah, I bet. I I It's a good move.

That's my move. All right, Gabe. Um, have a great holiday. All right, buddy. Have a happy holidays, a great New Year, and you guys are the best. Cuz you deserve the best.

You're the best, man. And you're not a psycho, by the way. I know that. Because I am not a psychopath.

You are not a psychopath. He is not a psychopath. He is not a psychopath. He is not a psychopath. HE IS NOT A PSYCHOPATH.

Oh my god. All right, Gabo, be good out there. Okay. Have a great one. God bless you.

That's Gabe, everybody. Thank you, Gabe. So, we have actually a really fun show here. We got all kinds of fun um content to get through. I'm not even kidding. Like, it's just banger banger banger banger. And then we also have the um

well, it's not exactly Craig's miss, is it? It's an evolution of Craigslist. Durian is no longer with us. And so, there's a new Santa Claus in town named

Oh. Uh I guess me. I I I No one can take Ian's place. It's a different thing. But yes, I will be

Abdul. Abdul miss. Abdul miss. Well, you know, you're going to be MCing and you're going to have the Santa hat on. I'll take it. You know,

yeah, I'll take it. Yeah, we're having fun. So, we all got presents. We actually What we did is a secret Santa

and we all got presents for our secret. Nobody knows who got who [snorts] what.

That's the case. There he is. But we're going to find out. There that There's that miss or Admiss.

Um any any fun plans uh over the holidays? I know love you're about to run right?

Yeah, I'm about to fly on Santa's never a giant [ __ ] Santa's ball sack. Yeah, Santa's red sack.

So vulgar. Red sack. Jesus. get. Sorry guys. Sorry. It's my last day. That was vulgar. That was bad.

Yeah. Um yeah, I'm flying to Sweden tonight. I'll be heading out a little early today.

Out to the homeland. Haven't been home for a year. So yeah, it's been it's been it's been um

well overdue. So I'm I'm very excited. You know, are you going to spend the whole

No, just two weeks. And uh you know that this month having a month break is pretty big because

it's hard when you live so far away from where you actually or when you have two homes kind of like that because

I go there every break and then when I come back I didn't get any you know my own time.

Exactly. Which I I mean obviously I prefer to go there but now I get both two weeks there two weeks here.

That's the same problem I had and that's why I said let's Yeah, let's think it's a good move for all.

There it is. Yeah, God bless. So, we're all chilling and uh well, why don't we just jump in because there's a lot to get to, right?

You know, um just a reminder, this is our last show, but Teddy Glow is still the perfect gift for Christmas or the holidays for yourself or or anyone else there that you might love.

It's from David Licker. Andy, [ __ ] you. It's no playing that. You don't have to be a star David Licker to enjoy Teddy Glow.

Um, everybody is loving. Wait, is this back? No, it's sold out. It will be back, I guess, next year, fortunately. But

we got you. But one thing, this is our best selling is the uh balm. The Is this the balm? Yeah, hydrating lip balm. I don't even know.

Something like that. Yeah, it's good. It's good quality. Whatever it is, it's the one with the dingle

with the charm. I carry it everywhere. It's so It's really nice. You call it the dingle.

And it's heavy, so it kind of like makes it easy to easier to find in my bag. I grab it right away.

Yep. Yep. So, there it is. Um, H3 Lore has some fun content planned for over the break for those of you interested.

Oh, let's see here. Monday. Oh, he's continuing the whole uh podcast schedule over at what? H3lor.com.

That's correct. What an amazing website, guys. Um, starting on the 22nd. That's Monday. Nate crew page. Christmas break. No shows tomorrow. What is a tomorrow? What does a crew page mean? I don't know. Todd and Tuck. I know who that is. That's

That's uh Zach's dad. Uh, the crew. So it the individual crew members have pages dedicated to them on HD Lore, but a lot of the newer members of the show didn't yet have one. And so those are being rolled out with the Nate, Tamara, and Morgan pages.

Oh, I see. And apparently the AB pre because mine has so much content. That must be it.

Surely that must be it. Um but then uh the other things are just uh Yeah. If you go to crew at the top there.

Yeah. Okay. So there isn't any AB yet. Well, let's take let's take a look at uh

they did the white people first. Let's see what happens. Top Dan moments. Well, hold on. Nate is still going before you.

Go back to that last page. It was But I'm saying Nates is launching next Monday.

Well, uh crew, what what about it? I'm just saying there's three people that haven't been done yet.

What do you want me to do about it? Not you. Yeah, we already said that. We'll get there.

Y'all click it. He's making a fuss, Ethan. He's making a Well, you know, we Listen, you've been here a while. I don't know what he's doing. He should have done He should have done you a long time ago. I agree.

I'm I'm I'm totally fine. I'll talk to him. I'm kidding. You want me to talk to him?

It's fine. It's launching. It It's It's up. It's It's coming. But just to give you an idea of what's here, you click Dan top moments here. Let's watch one. This is Dan saves the ad read. Let's see what it is. Boy, it takes you right to the time stamp.

Any minute. A bunch of those. So, let's thank our sponsor today. Hello. Well, this is a free ad.

No free ad. You know what's not going to be aborted? Your HelloFresh membership.

Oh, maybe not. We don't have to worry about that one. They're gone. They're long gone.

They're no longer sponsor. That's good. That I'm sorry, but that shit's funny. That was not going to be aborted. Your HelloFresh membership.

Did that kill the music? Take off the graphic off the screen real quick. This is the first time we did this. or Ethan. Uh, why don't we do our ads?

Okay. Today, today's episode is sponsored by HelloFresh. Hello Fresh. Goodbye fetus.

We're having an abortion today, folks. All right, that's Yeah, I mean, they're all funny. Damn. Bobby Lee interruption. I mean, this is classic.

Oh, these are great. We've All right, I'll watch it. We've still seen this one a thousand times, but it's, you know,

Hey guys, I'm so sorry to interrupt. We got to go to break. Why would you break down?

Oh my god, Dan. That was fantastic. That was fantastic. Here's another Dan moment.

I tried. Uh oh. Rich Lux is in the chat. They flew away. He says, "I'm shook. Can't believe it. They did not let me in." I guess he didn't see the first part of it.

Well, guess what? Hey, Rich. Welcome to the show. Don't rewind, buddy. Don't go back.

Wait, was this the band? This is the infamous ban. You banned him? Yeah. This is what started the whole thing.

Damn. Damn. Blocked me. Damn. Blocked. Dan is the queen. Oh yeah. About to get kicked out of another thing. Oh, oops.

Oh, did you ban him? No. What did you ban him? I don't remember. Uh, well, we were talking about the AceFest thing and we had gone and had a good time and I remember he had gone and I don't want [snorts] to say like made a hit piece, but like most of the influencers that went there were to [ __ ] on it if you remember.

Yes. Uh, and I guess I mean if we're being honest that was our intention too, but we ended up having a good time.

That's because that we do real journalism. Yeah. Exactly. Unbiased. So there was there was a dispute over that. [snorts] Yeah. So Dan was feeling I guess he took that personally.

Said ban him and block him. Listen, it's all water under the bridge now. Rich, he's he's family. He's going on the show.

He's hanging out on poker streams. Yep. You know, well um actually and also Keemstar wants to send his uh thanks to everybody. He's taking his victory lap.

Um and and he deservedly so. He's happy. I knew he was going to be happy about this and I'm glad, you know, somebody won who actually wanted it.

Yeah. Absolutely. And it's not even like making fun of him. The sound these sound bites are not like they're not making fun of him really. It's just him being funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's true. Yeah. So, you want to tell this guy? Who is this guy?

They swap every Does he have a mustache here? Like I can't really tell if that's a shadow or a mustache. I think it's just a shadow. If it's a mustache, it's like super uneven. [clears throat]

No, it's not a mustache. Why is it so dark? He has a bloody nose. Clinking glasses emoji.

Uh, again, thank you so much to the 83 people and I'm so glad that I won. Uh, rad chick 8

Boogie just starts spitting liquid all over. Disgusting. To everyone that voted for me, thank you so much. I do appreciate it. I have never won any uh

Sorry. I think Boogie kind of stole your moment. Yeah, Boogiey's going through it. I think Boogie's uh puppy is is not doing well.

Yeah. Or his Yeah, his dog. That's his long-term dog. Longterm dog. When you say puppy, you

I thought I thought it was his new dog. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Well, I know he's had the same dog for a long long time, too.

Yeah. Well, his dog's not doing well. Shoot. So, he's not doing well. He's not doing Yeah, I know. You shouldn't be doing that.

Yeah. I don't Yeah. I mean the It's messy. Gets messy. And that's probably like full sugar drink, too. It's going to get sticky.

My first thought was I hope that's just soda water. Nah. You know that's not soda water.

Probably not. Probably not. A word ever. Boogie. What are you doing, man? Nobody. Why is nobody reacting?

This is a heartfelt moment from Keem and Boogiey's just stealing. I feel like Boogie did this on purpose. Keem.

Yeah, he's stealing your moment. and only award I've ever won. So, [ __ ] yeah. Let's go. I [snorts]

Is he drunk? I mean, that was kind of the only Yeah. Yeah. won something. GameStar, how much do you hate my ball?

Oh, yeah. He's drunk. I could tell. That dude's microphone is glowing so bright. It's like a torch in Minecraft.

It's like Rudolph. It's like Rudolph. Won't you ride my I saw a comment yesterday that said the back of his jerseys is should say Keem's package.

Keem's package. I like that. Uh you think Keem is packing? Exact. Shut up, Tom.

You can be honest. Uh Keem. Um let's see. The answer is if you have no hold on like an impulse thing.

Don't Don't be just be honest. You can't say everybody has a heart. Now, I'm not trying to guide you one way or the other, but there has to be someone who doesn't have a heart.

I'm going mid. Like, I wouldn't call it small average. Maybe below average. I think he's he's got he's girthy.

Like, I feel like it's more like, you know, I would I wouldn't call it a cho necessarily,

but So, we're looking at a slightly below average, but thick. I wouldn't call him blessed, but

So, he's slightly below average and a little thicker than average. like he gets the job.

We're supposed to be congratulated. I bet I bet the pubes match the facial hair. That's what I'm thinking.

He's hiding Osama bin Laden in there. Those are the uh those are the al-Qaeda caves there.

Yeah. Um AB. So you're are you know people are upset that um they're blaming you for Keemstar winning now. We can't we don't control who. I was we were all tipping the vote for me. At least some at least I was. And I think Love and I don't know.

Yeah. But um we can't help who wins. Keemstar won fair and square. Yeah. He just was saying thanks for everyone who who voted.

Pretty pretty um unoffensive. Yeah. Yeah. Friend or foe, you'll always have my vote. AB says, "Oh,

which is true. Pathetic [ __ ] right here. By the way, the minute I read this, I was like snark, they're a snarker and they're trying to pretend like they're not." And then obviously

Yeah. Because who else would be [ __ ] bothering to hang out in Keemstar's responses

waiting for AB? Like like this is pathetic behavior. You said how so dumb dumb. [snorts] I don't know. The fact that Keemstar used to be enemy of the show, the amount of trash your boss would talk about him and would literally call him the worst person in the world. And now you're here. AB you're an embarrassment. Shame on you. I'm not quite sure what's their point.

Go to the next. You can call us a lot of people the worst person in the world. That's like normal.

So, but is this person a Keemstar fan? I don't know. Not actually getting their angle.

So, they're just mad for the sake of being the hypocrisy would team me up this well.

Well, this is when it was like, "Oh, I get it." Also, you say nothing about the harassment your show has caused. Froggen, someone you claim was your friend. You have zero spine. And that video of you trying to save Ethan from falling is so That was a snark thing. So, you did a joke. Like is he talking about when I was on the table with the skates?

Yeah, when I forget the high heels. Yeah, it's called a joke, people. And that video of you trying to save Ethan from falling is so embarrassing. I genuinely show it to my girlfriend whenever she's having a bad day. That's what you don't First of all,

first of all, checkmate. You don't have a girlfriend and I know because nobody would do that. It's cringe and weird. No, and your girlfriend would not be happy to see that video. It'd be odd. Uh AB said, "I'm glad you show your girlfriend a video can make bright and her day." And I mean, that's really the truth of it. This guy must

That's a great response. Yeah, I usually wouldn't be that cocky, but he just teed me up so well. I I owe it to him.

So, they're out there. Also, an important announcement. Nina Lynn, [snorts] the most hateful per just the most vile person.

Yeah, I think she wins vile person of the year or at least top contender. Uh she was permanently banned on uh Twitch. So, there you go. and block them.

Uh Dave Clancy said banner and block her. And um so now she was there yet another incident or was she uh banned for the shoplifting stuff?

I can't even keep up. I don't know. How do they know it's permanent? Did she say

she responded and she said it's not? Yeah, they never I'm kidding out of this. Twitch has never done a permanent ban. Like unless it's like

something they perma ban people. It's very rare and it's not usually big creators, but it just as a general rule. So that's why I was suspicious.

You should be okay. This is dumb that I'm not talking about this dumb Nina [ __ ] Lynn idiot. She's [ __ ] [snorts]

Um, worst person in the world. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I said contender. I didn't almost didn't almost. But you can't read my mind.

Um, all right. But let's move on. We got fun stuff here. And um, an alternative

stuff. cool stuff. An alternative title for this episode which got vetoed was um one more Idubbbz humiliation for the road. And uh this you know we watched this clip of Ana talking about how she how um no straight woman would ever be attracted to him.

Yeah. And um we were all cringing pretty hard, but it came to my attention that that is only part of a longer clip.

And the whole clip even worse. Yes, it does. No way. It already It gets worse. And you're going to love it. Have you seen this?

No. You're going to [ __ ] love what's in this. Oh god. God. Yeah. And Zach, you probably want to sp pay special attention as well.

Yes. Okay. Oh boy. It is. Enjoy the show, guys. This is a Christmas special here and I think this is 6 minutes but we're going to watch the whole thing. Um, it's fantastic.

I'm trying to think of like who would pull the most straight women and I think it's by far Dr. Mike.

Um, this is after I don't know. Is this before or after Dr. Mike gave him brain damage?

I I don't know. When did this take place? Yeah. I'm curious if this is before or after the brain. Regardless, that's his opponent.

Yeah, it was. Yeah, exactly. Pull straight women from like Well, what what what are the other like uh factors?

Demographics or or Yeah. What what is what is the question? Um what content creator?

Okay, we're good. The highest percentage of um highest percentage of like like their breakdown of their only fan subscriptions would have the highest percentage or mainly straight women. M

Sand is a very good one. I agree. I think Esfand would have a high amount of straight women.

I'm not a straight woman, so I don't know. But she basically lists everybody online except him.

That's a a good one actually. But but a different type of straight woman than the

She got very excited about Sfand though. Like I'd be like, "Girl, chill. You got to relax. You want to see his dick or what?" I mean, he's probably got a hug. He's a big guy, right, Zach?

Uh, San, I'm blanking on who that is. I can Google. We like him. I'll look. We don't have to do it for for every person. You know,

this guy, you probably recognize him. Just real fast. Oh, yeah. No, he's blessed.

Is he You've met him, right? Is he big? You see how quickly? Yeah. No, he he's tall.

He's got a gift. He's he's super nice. He's he's a really nice guy. Oh, yeah. Look how he's standing. He's he's blessed.

Congratulations, sir. So he he would kill it on only Only Fans according to Ana for straight women. Not Ian. Not Ian.

Dr. Mike is attracting. Look at this dumbass just silently. Nick Merks. True. Actually, I kind of Oh,

even Nick Merks is getting a nod from Ana. Disrespect. I was just going to say your disrespect. get a lot of um

Yeah. The like um the popular girl Mhm. straight girl demographic almost peaked in high school.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Like um fine too. Yeah, I agree. Ethan would me. But you what? Ana thinks I would kill with the straight ladies on Only Fans.

But Ian is so repulsive. No straight woman would want to to even imagine. She says I would kill with straight women on only Only Fans.

I know lying. She can't be serious though. Like she Oh lord. Not everybody needs an Only Fans, right? Not

she's just yapping to hear her own voice. You know what I mean? Well, but no, but it's part she's it's a humiliation ritual because this is all in the context of him being so repulsive to straight women. I got to clean that.

And he's the one actually thinking about making an Only Fans. None of these other people are.

This isn't like a AI video that you generated. Did you write the script for this?

That is exactly what I it I know. It feels like that, doesn't it? There's all sorts of critters in your eyes.

Well, this is a few years old, so none of us really were tuned in, you know. I'm surprised it took this long for this to resurface, though.

Yeah. Ethan would Yeah. So, they obviously grabbed that Zach. One more time. We'll go back. high school.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like um Ethan Klein, too. Yeah, I agree. Ethan would Yeah, Ethan Klein for sure.

So, this is after Oh, Hassan obviously after he fought Dr. Dr. Mike. So, post brain damage, which is why he's sitting there so slow.

He's just like, "Yeah, by the way, Dr. Dr. Mike's a lot hotter than you, just just so you know."

I mean, he is though, to be fair. I mean, Dr. Mike's a hunk and he's rich as [ __ ] He's a doctor. I mean, that guy's like made

Jew. He's Jewish, too. He is a Jew. Yeah. Wait, who who was the other opponent that beat the [ __ ] out of Idubbbz?

It was uh what's his name that um Don't tell me he was Jewish, too. No, he No, it was a guy named Alex. Alex, what's his last name?

He remember Alex Wasabi. The second wasabi. Okay. Yeah, he got annihilated. Dumbass loser. Idiot. Brain damage. Ian, I'll talk slow for you. I know you got brain damage. I will talk slower so that you can hear me. Or Ana. And then Nissa, can you translate for him because that that'll take the show will take too long.

Yeah. Yeah. [snorts] Yeah. Hassan I think Hassan would have a very healthy split though.

Everyone wants to [ __ ] everybody. Hassan really uh is very um versatile. But yeah, a lot of straight women. I think Ethan like because he's got a vibe that actually is pretty rare on the internet. I would say

yo she [ __ ] she dude. She says I have a vibe that's rare on the internet and that that I would kill on only Only Fans. Dan's mouth is a gas. A gas.

Yeah, dude. This girl's been talking mad [ __ ] but this whole time, who's got sexual psychosexual obsession now?

I'm not thinking of anyone's only. I'm not being like, "Oh, you know who needs to do Only Fans?" Ana. Well, she already does, but like, I'm sorry, sexual harassment. Why are you imagining me doing Only Fans, weirdo, and talking about my vibe? Like, are you sex psychosexually obsessed with me or what? freak lunatic obsess you'll never get this and he said never and even if I was even if I was single there was not a you could never never never never

I know you're watching is that the best is that the [ __ ] best thing ever I was like I can't believe it I can't believe it yeah

yeah because he's got go back a little bit more is very um versatile. But yeah, a lot of straight women. I think Ethan like because he's got a vibe that actually is pretty rare on the internet, I would say. Uh he'd actually probably do really well on Only Fans, I think.

What? She can't be serious, though. I would not do well. I mean, maybe like the first there would be a morbid curiosity, sure, but she can't be serious,

you know. What would you I'm trying to think for you. I think you would pull better. I don't know.

No, I'm I'm straight up pulling gay. And because only if you shave the mustache and and clean up the mullet. Oh, because it's a little too alternative.

I think I think you look like [ __ ] So, Ana, I believe she You look like a [ __ ] idiot.

If I had to summarize her opinion, I believe and that she would she would dub me as breathable.

Yeah. Gross. That's the vibe. She I'm I'm have a tight breedable [ __ ] dick. I'm saying it. I'm button you.

Why? It just means sex. birds and the bees. Dan, shave the mustache and and clean up the mullet.

But like he's looking like that because of her that he didn't make the decision to be covered in these [ __ ] quarter quarter gumball machine tattoos, you know, and and to have a mullet in a m That's your doing. You did that to him.

Oh, because it's a little too alternative. I think I think you can have a mustache and mullet and appeal to gay men, but it has to be like more uh purposeful,

right? What what a bizarre conversation just just in general. This is [ __ ] insane.

Weirdest human beings on the planet. Insane business. And they go, "Damn." And then they got all mad. They're like, "Why are you making fun of me, bro?"

Yeah. You just called me breathable. Sorry, Dan. She's what you said. Right. Wild, right?

Right. Right. Too a little little too. And she's right. I mean, you guys know from from my uh fertility journeys, I only have boys.

There's been kings and emperors who have lost their minds because they can have a an heir.

Right. True. All I get is heirs. Henry VI, right? Yeah. He's killing wives. He's trying to again, you know, they're having 20 50 babies. All it's like, you know,

right? That's true. Air maker. I'm an error maker right here, baby. Make errors. All right.

As Howard Stern would say, super sperm. Yeah. Mhm. Tempt overall. Yeah. I think if you shaved the mustache and trimmed up the mullet, I think you would appeal to gay and bisexual men mostly.

What? Gay and bisexual men. That would be my strategy. Uh, no. No. And bisexual women. I think you'd get right now the way that you are, I think you would pull um like bisexual women and uh like a a mix between gay men and straight women.

So, in other words, nobody wants to see you naked. You're like, you you do you think I do good on only fans? you um you serve a very specific niche of people, a small small niche of people. Um the bisexual woman voting block.

Yeah. Um they're coming and supporting you. God, please let Ian's dick uh on Only Fans end up on the internet. That would complete that would be the ultimate lal journey. Please, I want his dick on the internet.

Fight from him. Not. And from him putting it up there. That's a great clip. Yeah.

Yeah. His ball sack. His ball sack is NFT. You should buy it. That's disgusting, by the way. Remember that?

That used to That's Idubbbz. All of his new fans. Do you guys [ __ ] with the ball sack NFT? That [ __ ] was disgusting. He put his ball he

talking about. So he made an NFT a few years ago during the NFT craze where he stretched out his ball skin

and like and there's like a light under it or something and so you can see through it. Yeah.

Sick. That's what I'm saying. This is your guy. That's the guy. This is your guy.

Yeah. I can't wait for you to open your secret Santa gift. That's all I'm going to say.

It's not my scrotum if that's what you're wondering. We should do our ad and then we should get on to that because it's already 1:30 and we got to get on with it before we lose.

All right. We'll come back to this cuz I'm This is How much more is there? 3 minutes. We're only halfway. We're only halfway.

Keeps going. Yes. And it's all good. You do it at the end of the All right, we'll come back to

end of the show when I'm not here. Yeah, we really do have to. Yeah, Loves love's got to got to go catch a flight. So, let me thank our sponsor here today.

Thank you so [snorts] much to Prize Pix. Now, I'll tell you something real fun's happened over on Prize Pix. [snorts] So, Jake Paul's finally fighting somebody. Anthony Joshua this time. I don't know who that is, but he's fighting uh this weekend, I believe. Tomorrow.

Oh, it's tomorrow. Yeah, he does seem to be a professional fighter, so I don't I don't know who cares anymore.

He's heavily favored. Heavily favored. Oh, he's favored. He's Jake's size. He's a little older. He's in his late 30s

in the actual odds. He's favored. Yes, heavily favored. Okay, so this is a big So, this is a first for Jake. I don't think he's ever fought where he wasn't the favorite.

He's never fought a real guy. He's world heavyweight champion twice between 17. Wow. Okay. 17 and 19 and 19 to 21. So, I mean, he's a little over the hill, I would say. But he's not that old. He's like in his 30s.

Yeah. Okay. I hope he 36. That's prime. He's good. Yeah, you're good. Okay, that's interesting. Maybe I'll tune in. But if you do tune in, um, Price Pix is running a special here. So, when you set up your betting line, they're they're saying if Anthony Joshua hits only one punch on Jake, that's a betting line. So, you can they're putting up odds for It's basically a free win.

He lands one punch and you win. Yeah. So, it's basically a free win. So, if you get up there and vote, I I mean, that's a that's a vote. That's a bet I would take. What's the cap? Can I bet a million dollars on it? Although the odds probably are what, like probably like a million to one million bucks to win $1. I don't know what the odds are, but probably not that bad. But anyway, um yeah, if he if uh Anthony Joshua manages to land one punch on Jake Paul, just add another player to your lineup and if your pick hit hits, you cash in. out. You can you can do your lineup on all kinds of other things like uh basketball, football, soccer, golf, probably

everything. And so they give you these uh premises like um Steph Curry is going to score 10 points tonight or he's going to score over 10 points tonight.

Yeah. Yes or no? So you go yes or no. So um so that and you do a whole like collection of them. It's It's not It's It's really fun way to to watch sports if you're into that, you know. 9:00 p.m., huh? Friday 12:19 at 9:00 p.m. Wow. Now, you said there's a big height difference. What's the height difference?

I know. I think they're probably about the same size. They're both I mean, Jake's a big guy,

but I saw someone say there's an insane height difference. Oh, really? Um, there's got to be a weigh- in, right? Let me see the weigh-in.

Yeah. But that's what's popping over there. [snorts] But uh let me tell you guys about price picks. Um this uh whether you're starting a new routine or making player picks for the first time, trying something new can be hard. But in life and on price picks, it always feels good to be right. With high pressure playoff matchups every weekend and elite hoop action almost every night, the action never stops. And price picks let you take control. I got to say, I really like that. Um, oh my god. So Jake is really actually taking a real fight.

Yeah, he's This guy is towering over him. How is Jake going to not get annihilated?

I don't know. He's cocky, too. He's coming out like I'm going to win. You know, it's going to be the comeback of the underdog of the century.

If he wins, then I guess you got to give it up. But [ __ ] maybe this is like his final payday, you know?

He made a shitload, I think, on his other Netflix. Yeah. Yeah. But it's on Netflix. If you got Netflix, it's live. So that's interesting.

How the hell Jake Paul is a 61 and Anthony Joshua 66. Oh my god, dude. That's a huge difference in reach.

And they have a 20 lb difference, too. Even if he was like an amateur fighter, that that size difference is pretty devastating.

Yes. What the hell? You figure if you're evenly matched, the bigger guy is always going to win.

Yeah. It's just it's just the laws of physics. You can't be a better boxer than them.

They're all right. Well, I'm I'm okay. They got me hooked. I'm watching. I'm watching. And I don't have to pay for it either. I just put on Netflix, you know, so that's nice. Um but anyway, here's how it works. Um it's simple to get started as I explained. You just get in. You you bet on these different premises. And they have a new feature, guys. Um actually, they have a new feature called early payout. So if you're if you are players getting off to a hot start, you now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game finishes. So if you're if you're up and you're you want it to stay stop the count, you can stop the count.

Um I'm assuming they do a little less payout or something, but you still win. Um on price picks, how you play is up to you. If you want flexibility, choose flex play where you can get paid even if one of your picks misses. And if you want the biggest payouts, go for power play. No matter your play, Price Picks is a great way to take uh to put your takes to the test. And it's available in all 50 states, guys, including California Texas Florida Georgia Georgia. Download the Prize Picks app today and use code H3 to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code H3 to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

Price fix, guys. It's good to be right. Thank you to our sponsors over there. I appreciate you very much. Um, all right. I I I need to run to the bathroom. I I I'm having like a pee sometime. I just can't stop peeing some days and I don't know why.

Huh. Okay. Are you pregnant? I don't think so. You're breedable. Dan said you're breathable.

Ana impregnated me with her sexual harassment. Ethan would All right, I'll be right back.

Um, okay. You want to go over there and set up? Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, dance word love.

Wow. Thank you so much. And let me introduce you all to Tamara. Tamara. Yes. Tomorrow.

Can you guys hear me? Oh, she's in Hyrule. We're doing that. She's in Hyrule. So, tomorrow's here because uh she is participating in the gift exchange. Uh so, uh when we get to her gift, she'll she'll be able to chime in. And I guess there's a gift for you, too, tomorrow that you're going to have to uh wait till you get

I know. I I have a feeling that you have me. You what? I have a feeling that you have me, Dan.

H Well, I guess we'll find out soon now, won't we? He does not look like he smells nice.

What the [ __ ] Is that very nice tomorrow? Why? Um he doesn't look like he smells nice, but Dan does smell nice.

You smell very nice. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Uh Zach. No, it is. Okay. Hey, tomorrow. Remember when you called Tom a pedophile?

Edo yesterday. Yes. Yeah. And then I won't lie. I know you guys always You guys always say I shouldn't, but I was on the Reddit and some people were in the comments like, "That was so unprofessional." And I was like,

I agree. I mean, are we watching No, no, no, no, no. Are we watching the same show? Like, what? Like, it's ridiculous. I would say your unpre unprofessionalism is your best asset.

Very true, bro. That one that one was definitely a little far. That one was That's fine. Do it again. Um

uh yes, people are pointing out my uh my Mega Man Christmas sweater. Um people in the audience might not know, but I actually I I grew up with Mega Man.

Oh, really? Yeah, I did. And were you excited when they announced the new Mega Man game?

I was. I was there in the room. Do you know with Mega Man? I don't know if you talked about it, but

I don't think we did, but yeah, there was they're they're bringing my boy back. The blue bomber himself returning in the near future. So,

so exciting. So exciting, man. Yeah, yeah, we get it, Zach. Thank you, man. Yeah. Anything else?

I'm done. Okay, he's done. All right, let me uh thank some of these uh fine fine people. Um there's a $5 donation saying, "Dan, please read my $50 super chat from yesterday." Well, I'm sorry. I read that one. So,

you a tip to you guys. You guys should just do the donation again. I feel like you know what I mean?

No, no, no, no, no. But instead of asking to go back and read it, if you're going to donate, you can just donate it again or rewrite it. Yeah, that's true. But that said, I did find it. So, let's see. Uh, hey guys, if you care, this is from baked temper. Hey guys, if you care about the environment and animals, I care about both of those things.

Uh, please voice concern for Trump's proposal of changing changes to the Endangered Species Act, which will let big corporations do what they want in protected land.

Google it. Hey, that's that's love's thing. And I agree. Google that sounds important. So, Google it, guys.

And how you can help by December 22nd. So there's still time. There's still time.

It got worse after the Obama era. It's true. You know, a lot of things did. It's true.

A lot of things did. Okay. I know that. Thanks for the tip, baked temper. And uh I will look into that. I I there's, you know, it's such a uh fire hose of uh horrible news coming from the White House all the time that it it is very easy for things to uh to slip by.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for letting us know. I'll definitely Google that. Also, thank thank you to everybody uh who has voiced their support for Shipnarf. Uh that has a new soundbite that just broke yesterday during the soundbite tournament.

Shitarf. Shitarf. But but that's going to that was after the cutoff. So that actually is a 2026 soundbite. Uh

yeah, it you know technically it's not 2026. Well, if it's a competitor, well, we'll see. I mean, we got 12 months to find out. So,

um, Ela is here. Here. Hello. Yeah. Uh, I see we have Tamara on the call now. Now, tomorrow, I'm glad you're here because I actually did need to ask you about yesterday's tournament. Now, you you did get pretty deep. You should feel good. But ultimately, you were who beat you in the heads up.

It was the pedophile one. Oh, yeah. Wait, it wasn't No, it was you, Ethan. It was you. It was you. Yes, it was.

I mean, you didn't expect to be to beat me, though, right? Uh, no, I didn't even expect to beat the pedophile one because that one is was actually really good. That was the one I thought was going to win at all.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, I thought it was a contender, too. How What did you think about Keemstar? The Keemstar win. That surprise you?

I um you know, I I'm a big uh Keemstar soundbite fan. when I first joined started working with you guys, I have always been about the tonight, you know, I love I love that stuff.

Yeah. So, um but yeah, you know, I I do think uh the pedophile one that could have gone really far and I it's kind of crazy that I beat it out.

You beat the pedophiles. I did. We're so grateful. We're so grateful for Well, tomorrow and uh I'm glad you're here because today is a day that we will all remember. It's the day we wait all year for, guys. It's It's not Craig's miss. It's Abdulmiss. Secret Santa Craig's miss.

Wait, that thing It looks lit and it gives off smoke. Does it give off smoke? I thought I saw smoke.

Oh, that's kind of epic. What is it? It's a fake cigar. I don't know. I found it.

Anyways, found it. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. 2025 Greg Smith. You know where that thing's been

in in in one of the bins. 2025 secret Santa Craig Smith/ Abdulness. Gross. Uh we're a little bit on a time crunch because love is leaving. So

if you had love as your secret Santa, will you come up and give him his gift? Show yourself.

Show yourself love. Love. Love. It was me. I can't tell you. Oh, we have a Oh, it's Lena. Good. So, we had a budget of we try to stick to around $75 each, but some people went over and uh yeah, first Lena will be giving love.

So, we How was So, these there's another uh mic over there, by the way. By the way, we had a website where we like put in our names and it automatically secretly matched us up.

Yes. Totally. To no shenanigans. Yeah. No shenanigans. Totally random. Yeah. Wow. Love, how exciting.

Yeah, I'm very excited. Thank you. I'm I'm so excited. I have no clue what you've cooked up here.

Really? Yeah. I'm very excited. Oh my god. It's a big item. Oh my days. What could this be?

I love the wrapping paper. You'll see. That's a good guess, though. It looks like a Tweety.

Should I just dig in? Go for it. Is it a golden cage? Any How much was it? I made I've made the budget like on the dot.

Okay. 75 bucks. Okay. I I'll just dig in. Yeah. Dig in there, love. What is it?

What is it? What is it? I see a polar bear. Wait, this seems like something nice. I'm loving it all. The bucket.

Why wouldn't you? We were expecting something bad. Yeah, that this is sick. [screaming]

You lie. It's a soda. It's a soda. Oh my days. Um, yes. So, it's not electric. You just put it. So you put ice in.

Wait. So we got a but it's a little mix of cooler. A polar bear. Yes. Which is my

We know this. Polar bears. Um we got some uh dried anchovies. I don't like that. But

you like to taste test things. So I thought that might bring it to Sweden. They probably will eat it there.

Okay. I mean uh I'll uh maybe give it to the cats. How about that? Yeah. And there's also some bugs in there before you dig into the

That's fine. Oh, some Oh yeah. Yeah. You could taste test those, too. These I'll actually eat. Yeah,

I would I would eat these bugs. What is that? Mixed bugs. No chocolate, just bugs.

It's just bugs. All sort. You got some uh grasshopper, some uh nasty worms. You want to try some now?

Uh put me on the spot. Let's go. Yeah. No, you said you'd try it. I'll try it when we come back so everyone can.

We'll we'll put it on my desk. People eat People live on that [ __ ] Do they? You want to try one?

No. Not my present. Wait, so this this actually I I feel like is really cool actually.

This is You're holding some vintage Coke right there. Oh, no way. Can you drink it?

That one is from 1952. No way. Drink it. That's actually so good, dude. You know how you could

You could Yeah. Well, I actually do love sodies and I have never thought about the history of soda, but maybe this is my new like uh

damn a whole sixer. What? No way. See what year. Wait, that's how it used to come. Wait, back in the days. Does that have cocaine?

Wait a second. Wait, so this is actually like you're probably I have like some bad like collector like uh

what's it called? What? A hoarder type behavior. So now maybe you're getting me down a bad trail here. Now good for that collection for your I would genuinely put this on like a on on like a display at home. This is so creative. This is so so thoughtful. I think

actually that ice chest is sick for a party. Yeah, dude. Right here. I would love to have something like that at a

uh Yeah. So, it has um a nice Is it on wheels? Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. Thank you very much. That

Wow, what a nice spread. So, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. Can I get inside?

I want to do something now, but I I have to give mine to someone else. That's amazing, Lena.

Okay. Well, thank you very much. Thank you guys. You know, funny enough, when Lena showed me this at first, I'm like, "Oh my god, you are definitely your father's daughter because I always Yeah. Yeah. I always talk about how Lena's dad always has a bunch of

He didn't even realize in the moment he'll be prom." That's so funny. So, who do you have, love?

Uh, any guesses? Does anyone have a feeling? Have I given anything away? No. See, I'm I'm good. I I haven't told anyone. Mr. Dan.

All right. that night. Dan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I guess Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah. So, I I I got Dan and I was very excited and I had a couple like different like thoughts in mind like show memes and whatnot.

Okay. But I picked the one of the most recent ones. Can you can you think of it?

Recent show made involving me or just in general? Oh. Oh. Uh did your balls come out?

Another one. The skeleton. Is it related to that? Your balls come out. Oh [ __ ] It's one of these big ones. Wait, there's a power something.

Ah, interesting. Oh, you plug it in. So, it's a old something powered. That's all I'm going to say.

Okay. Uh, so yeah, go ahead. All right, dig in. It's all yours. Oh, it has an electricity. That's pretty fancy.

Wait, this the dancing skeleton perhaps. Oh, is that a giant? No, no, no. [screaming]

Wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold the phone. Hold the phone, bro. Are you kidding me right now?

What? Ladies and gentlemen, take his shoe wrapping off, too. Okay. So, so he looks like a little short, right?

What happened to his leg? He looks a little short, guys. Yeah. So, I want you to place a hand on each shoulder.

Okay. Uh, so get get the camera ready here. Okay. And I'll I'll help you on this side and we'll do on three a push down. Okay.

One, two, three. THREE. [screaming] That is actually scary. That's a child's that's a dead child.

So, there is copyright music involved. So, we'll we'll have to like maybe we'll we'll we'll sing along. We'll clap really fast.

[ __ ] dance. Oh my god. Let's see. I don't know. We'll see what he does. Go ahead and click the button right between his legs.

Spot right between his legs. I just got spooked. LOOK. THIS is sick. Wait, put the mic up so they can hear.

It's the same song. Yeah. Yeah, it is the same song. Yeah. So, uh, you got to do this for copyrighted reasons.

So, there there's more surprises if you keep clicking the button. Yeah. Keep clicking the button over.

He's got good hip movement. Yeah, he he [ __ ] [ __ ] up, bro. Are you going to take this home?

You better put that would be offensive, you know. You got to put that by your gaming stage.

He's looking at you. Still going. What's up, dude? Yeah, he loves to dance. He loves it. Uh, so yeah, go ahead and click the button, right? Super freaky.

Now, what happens if you push the button a bunch of times? Well, hold on. So, what?

See, he has multiple songs. You do? You do. I [ __ ] with maybe this is something Sack could uh be interested in. There's a input for a microphone in the back.

Oh, that's cool. And I don't know why. I don't know why. Why? Our new sound. Push the button a bunch of times. The ghost comes out.

Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. It does it, too. Isn't that funny? That's awesome. THANK YOU.

WOW. WOW. YEAH. What a gift. He He He got five songs. I got this from a Shady deal in a McDonald's parking lot with um

For real. Some old dude with a pickup truck. He came up. How much was it? It was 100 bucks. Yeah. I had to I got it down from $300.

Whoa. Master negotiator over here. No way. That cost $300 to be brand new. No, they go for 300 bucks on Facebook Marketplace. There there there's a couple of them.

Collectibles. Collectibles. Yeah. Huh? It's clicking. Yes. Oh my god. So yeah, he while I'm gone you guys, this is me. You know what I mean? I'll be

Excellent. Yeah. It's just he's around the same height, too. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

His little buddy. Well, thank you. How exciting is that? Amazing. Stunning. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Incredible.

Maybe maybe we should If you keep him plugged in, he'll just keep going forever and ever and ever.

You know, would be funny if we all leave the whole break and he just keeps dancing. Still dancing the whole time.

We could do Yeah. 24-hour live stream with this dude. I think so. Oh, I think that's a good idea.

What if he like starts doing curse [ __ ] in the middle of the night at 3:00 a.m.?

I would be tuning in. PlayStation video incoming. Cursed singing skeleton at 3:00 a.m.

I kept him plugged in in my apartment and I didn't click the button for a while and then he'll just stop and then he'll scare you. So, he'll silent for a couple for 20 minutes and then he'll jump up and and start singing again.

Yeah. All right. Wow. Yeah. What a present. I'm going to be heading out now, by the way. So, see you guys for this year. Thank you everyone. Uh,

safe flights. Say hi to to your family who I love. I will. And um, merry Christmas and go and happy holidays guys.

Yeah, we celebrate ule, not Christmas in Sweden. Oh, u Yeah, it's like tide. Ule tide.

We celebrate like the uh the Norse. It's It's like based on Norse mythology. You don't do Santa.

It's the same thing, but it's just Ule. It's It's technically less Christian. Santa.

Yeah, Santa. It's the same thing. It's the same thing, but less Christian, I guess.

I got you. I got you. I [ __ ] with that. Byebye, guys. Have a good one. Fly safe, love.

That was a great gift. On his way back home to Sweden. Fly high, young cockling.

Woo. Okay. Thank you very much. All right. So, I'm up. Hey. Yes. Well, let's keep the cycle going because my person is behind the camera right now. It's AB. It's our very own AB.

It's Mr. Absmus himself. Yeah. Um, can uh somebody come work the camera? Oh my god.

I'm honored. Ela's got it. Organ's got it. Um, okay. So, Oh, man. So, I was given a very very good suggestion for AB uh by my lovely wife Allison.

However, great ideas and I there was some issues with it. It was very expensive and it turned out,

right? Uh it was like Well, don't get too excited. Well, it was like $400. Shout out,

which is quite a bit over the $75. And I did I did approve it. I sent it to Ethan and said, "I know this is like way more expensive than we said, but it's so good." Turns out it was shipping from China and it couldn't be here for like two weeks or uh sorry two months. So there was no way it was going to happen in time. So I was very dejected. I didn't know what to do.

So I went out hunting and I found myself in a toy shop in Little Tokyo. Okay. And my eyes fell upon this and I just it was a blessing. So

is it the same thing or something? No, no, it's something different. It's something different. I'll I'll tell you after what the other one was.

Oh man. Okay. Yeah, you know, Dan said that Ally gave him some ideas initially, and I was wondering, could it be me? Cuz I know me and Ally like a lot of the same like nerdy [ __ ]

It was a good guess. I mean, you do as well, but we like the corny stuff, I feel like, as well, like the prequels and

like perhaps Dragon Ball Z. Oh [ __ ] Now, hold on. This is a very special Bulma statue.

It's an Arabian B. It's It's an Arabian Bulma. I found Arab Wulma in a in in a bootleg store in Little Tokyo. I do not understand why this exists. Uh perhaps this is some deep cut from the show that I don't remember.

Um she also is very wellendowed. Uh maybe we can get a uh closeup of that. It's uh kind of absurd. This is

fun. Can we zoom in? Yeah. Can you zoom in? Does it go in more? Before but not on the show. Can you do more? Kidding.

That's okay. Yeah. I was just literally walking down the hall uh the aisle way and

and I saw the statue very buom. Yeah. Okay. Put those away. Put those away. Bulma.

Yeah. Put those things away. Yeah. This is This is awesome. I love it. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. You're welcome. I'm curious of the original. Well, I'm going to show you. And now, unfortunately, I can't show this on the show.

Can I guess because it's too vulgar. Oh, you sure? You will not guess what it is. Well, there was one time long time ago you told me something about a sexy Levi.

Wait, what? You're close. You're close. Wait, what? So, it's not Levi. It's Aaron uh Jerger from Attack on Time.

Do we still get it? Well, wait until you see it. [gasps] Um, it's Aaron Joerger getting out of a bath and it is fully articulated.

And he's hard, too, right? Yes. He has a giant throbbing [ __ ] I'm not kidding. Here's a picture of it. It's so sponsored, but um yeah.

Why don't you send it to um No, it's $400. It's broken. Well, it's very big apparently.

It's really big. That is one of the And let me tell you, Aaron Jerger stacked. He's packing. Zack, he's packing. Zack,

let me take a look. Hold on. Hold on. Hold. Send it to somebody. Uh I will. And And we'll just blur it.

Zach needs to verify the claims here. Hold on. I haven't actually seen the dong cuz it was

I can verify. It was so long ago. And when you mentioned Levi, I I thought it was just like a shirtless Levi. There was nothing of that magnitude. See, the thing is it's such a detailed figure and I'm such a fan of the show that I don't know what I do. I feel like I try to hide the dick somehow.

I don't know if I have it up in the background. I don't think you could. I find one that's uncensored.

What What do you do with an object like that when you have like family coming over?

Oh, I Well, this one could be a coat hanger. Closet maybe. It's like literally a code hanger. Here I found this one's still censored, but it it you can you can tell what's going on

here. I'll send it uh I'll send in the WhatsApp, I guess. Dang. Oh, great. If somebody wants to forward this to uh

Is this a picture? It's going to immediately download it to all of my photos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You got to turn Well, well, you should probably turn that off. I turned it off and it still does it anyway.

It's not off then. All right. I did it. Sent it. I've sent it to the group chat if you all want to take a look at that.

Tomorrow tomorrow has to go. We should do her next. Okay. You know. Oh my god. That is I actually

Oh, that's perfect. There you go. Kind of worked out perfect. Let's just cut to tomorrow.

Take care of her, please. She's mine now. [snorts] Okay. So, she already since tomorrow's

right here, Ethan. She's here. She's here over Morgan. Do you mind unwrapping the gifts for her? And I'll uh

she you're you're she's yours? Yeah, tomorrow. Yeah, everyone. Morgan, can you act like tomorrow?

Okay, this is how tomorrow talks. Tomorrow, how do you feel about that? It's not how she talks. I just did a voice.

Mine was I found it more absurd that Ela even asked. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. It's okay. It's okay.

Did I get tomorrow a gun? Wow. Oh my god. Oh my god. No. Um, this one I got her three gifts. This one I'm going to have to unbox. You could do the rest just cuz I don't want you to get hurt. So,

a sword. I know what it is. Tomorrow's always asking for a saw. She's always asking for a

Yeah. So, no way. I went I went to a very creepy house. Wait, but you asked Morgan to come unwrap it.

Everyone but this one. There's multiple ones. This one I want her to get hurt. Okay.

If it was tomorrow, I would just have tomorrow undo it. But Oh my god. Whoa. Oh, rusty blade.

Oh my god. This is a saw from 1910. Wait, what? What? Amazing. I love it. I love it.

And the guy who sold it to me, he talked a lot. He told me, "God bless his soul." I think he's from 1910. He said you could people would bend it and play it like a violin.

Wow. That's Does it come with a tet? some music from me. No, but you're right. I shouldn't be touching it.

I'll put this on your desk. I'll I'll teach you guys something. You don't get tetanas from rusty metal. You actually get it from uh

places where rusty metal is. But rusty metal does not cause tetanas. Oh, in fact, let me fact check myself on that.

Google it. Google yourself. You're saying I don't know. Is that true? I don't know. Google it.

That's a shortcut. And so tomorrow, if that doesn't work, I got you something else. It's for your unwrap.

Thank you. Okay, I'm tomorrow right now. You smell very nice. Oh, me and love got the goof juice. We me and love like the goof juice.

Call someone a pedophile. What kind of things does she say? Tom, you're a pedophile.

Wow. I know you're I know you're a fan of Zelda. Funny enough, you're in Hyrule right now.

That is so exciting. If the saw doesn't work, oh my god. Wow. This is a [ __ ] sword.

Actually, like like it's actually a sword. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real blade.

Like it's heavy. Morgan, how heavy are we talking? Oh, yeah. That's a sword. This is a real sword.

It It's sharp on the side. How sharp is it? You'll find out. That's what Oh my god. Well, it's amazing. Thank you so much, mannequin.

Oh, drive him through. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I do. No. I do not perform to use the sword before me. I do not permit it.

Don't do it. I don't have You can't use the sword. Right. Right. All right. You wanted it, right? Okay.

I feel like the the person unwrapping should have the stationary mic. No. And then

that makes sense. Yes,gan. That does make more sense. That makes a little more sense.

Okay. And then there we go. So, uh that's also to help you if you need it. Um instead of the saw.

Yeah. And I got you one last gift tomorrow. Um you're new. Uh you haven't been here for some of the things we've done in the past.

So I say, why ruin a good tradition? What is that? If you don't mind, no idea what

I'm again. This is uh Oh, please let Is it a PlayStation? Is it a PlayStation? I thought you wanted a Steam Deck.

I know, but I know Steam Decks aren't that big. I know what's in that. Please let it be what I think it is.

Oh. Oh, please let it be what I think it is. Oh, use your little cursed. Oh, you went right for it.

You just got cursed. It smells so bad. Ethan, who are you talking to? Who got yours now?

Who? It's so dirty. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's like I don't know if I should cursed.

No, not yet. Oh, no. Yeah, sorry. No, it's fortunately for you. Um, yeah, Morgan just got

Morgan, you're cursed. Oh, [ __ ] I disagree. I'm not ready. I disagree. Okay. I think it's going to be Tamara because it's

it's the owner. She's the owner. Well, what do you think, AB? Who's cursed? AB or tomorrow?

It's so smelly. I mean, the doll doesn't know who the owner is. It smells so bad.

What happened to it? It's cursed. What do you mean? This is like horrifying. Let me get this stable.

I think we bought up all the the cursed dolls in California. We had to bring that back from Michigan.

This is like dirty. No. Who? No, seriously. Who's cursed, Davey? I think I think Morgan. I'm sorry. That's okay.

She handled the thing. It's not fair. I think it's not fair. I think when you give it to

It's going to be in tomorrow's position when tomorrow accepts it. So, you'll just be cursed over break.

So, you have to convince. You need to bestow it upon me in a way that I don't know if you have trick me into having it.

I'm going to break into your house again. Yeah, exactly. That's what you need to know.

Yeah. So, uh this doll was supposedly in a fire. I don't know much about it. It's a raggedy doll. They always are.

EW, IT'S WET. WHY IS IT WET? WET. Why is it wet? You should wash your hands. I need to wash my hands.

Something wet in that in that tight space. Oh, that's a that's a health hazard.

That explains the smell. Anyh who, does the suitcase have a story or no? Uh, not that I know of. It just came in the suitcase.

Oh, it came in the Okay. So, who did you have tomorrow? I know you got to go. Well, let me Yeah, let me just say AB, that was those were wonderful gifts. Some of the best gifts I've received in my life.

Thank you. Uh, we'll test the quality of that sword when I'm back. But you may need it against the doll.

Yes, I actually I had Ela. Ela. Oh my goodness. Now, I will say after seeing I'm so confused cuz I thought we weren't supposed to get nice things. Um,

you can do whatever you want. No, I was told that this was silly present. Yeah, that's

I will I'll also say I got something that I myself thought I would I thought I would like

for you. Nice. It has a giant bow on it. Really big. Very pretty. Wow. I didn't wrap that.

It's got Well, somebody did you a big favor there. I wrapped it. It was Morgan.

Morgan put a giant beautiful bow on that. Eh. Okay. So, we got a box. We got a box, people.

Got a box. Amazon box. Nate, switch the side. I'm on There's an address on the box.

Oh, that's What's in the box? Scissors. We need scissors. WHAT'S IN THE [ __ ] BOX?

SCISSORS. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's so good. Dad, we're not going to fight because you

What's in the is going to need She's going to need a table to demo this on. Oh,

can we get a table? We need a table, people. Oh my goodness. It looks old and weird. Let's pop it in there.

What is this? A little birdie told me that you like beds. Oh, that's so cute. You know, you got to wind it on the table.

Oh, it's a windy toy. Look at that. Was it gonna explode? No. WHOA. That's a wild ride. It almost knocks itself over.

Okay. That's really sick. Oh, that's so cute. I like it. Do you actually? Yeah, I do. Also,

this looks like vintage teddy bear. It does. No, it is. It's a like a vintage windup toy.

Um I really like them. I I have two. Oh, you do? And um I do. I think they're cool. Um

You only have two? Yeah, I just saw that. I only have two. I like it. That's going to go in my closet where I keep my stuff that Chief can't reach.

Yes. That is not at this. By the way, I'll show it. I'll send a picture when it's like nicely displayed on there.

Okay. It's going to Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't get you something huge. Is it not a little too old timey? Like a little creepy maybe?

Yeah. Look, it's even got little wheels. Wow. Like, show the closeup of his face. It's just a little like

just a little slimy. Wow. No, it's cursed. Just like it looked on eBay. Hell yeah.

All right. All right. I could see this being a cute graphic for Teddy Fresh. You know,

I think it's super cute. It's so cute. And it's so Tomorrow. It's very tomorrow.

I'm the only one creeped out by it. You're creeped out by it. It's It's creepy. It's It's It's old. Weird. Yeah.

The face. But I But obviously, it's a beautiful gift. Uh Tamara as well. I'm keeping it.

She's keeping it though. There it is. Ela. Tamara, do you have to go right here?

I do. I just I wanted to say though, can I say something briefly? Every when people play poker, they have like a lucky item. What if I take it on my poker table and then give it

put it on the table and then wind it? Yeah, that's not good manners. It has to be a small weight.

Okay. Well, I'll get you. What if I got a even smaller one that was of a tiger that you could wind and when you did good did a good it would roar.

Time to roar. Time to roar. That would work. But make sure it has a flat like coinlike bottom.

Oh, that that's kind of the classic uh card weight. I see. Yeah. You know the purpose of the card weight?

To keep the cards so the dealer doesn't muck your cards on accident. Oh, which does happen sometimes.

Wait, but if you already have the cards, how would the dealer just if just if you put them away from you too far or they get confused or something? I don't know. It does happen.

Okay. Well, my next person, thank you tomorrow. Bye tomorrow. Bye tomorrow. Have a great holiday.

Okay, bye guys. Bye. Travel safe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Now, next person is one word. So, Ward, come on down.

Ward. Oh, I didn't understand you. I thought you said one word. You don't know.

He didn't even He didn't say anything. You are stupid. Yeah, Tom Ward. So, there's a

Dan, there's a video. It's in the dock. There's a video associated. It says, "So, for for

I uh Wait, hold on. We're missing bagel." I was struggling to think of something. I was told a silly present.

Yeah. Okay. Um, so I was struggling and then um something came to mind and with that I don't have a physical present, but we are going to look at the screen.

Okay. Oh, and um roll it whenever you can. Roll it. Oh, okay. All righty. Let me

Hi, Tom. It's Marks from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and uh I have been requested to give you some advice from your

She looks wild on confidence. And confidence is just about feeling good about yourself in your own skin and um knowing that you know you're the rock star that you are. So I know that you're cool and a great person and you just have to be able to show that to the rest of the world. So um like I'm I'm not showing that now.

Everything what how you speak, how you walk, all of your actions. feel good about you because you are amazing and show the rest of the world how cool you really are. Sending you lots of love and positivity.

Oh my god. Wow. Meredith from Salt Lake City, the true housewife. Now, can I ask how much is a cameo from Meredith?

Funny that you asked. Yeah. Yeah. Why? I thought cameo would be cheap, you know, like I'll definitely be safe

for her. How much did Meredith? Meredith from Salt Lake City decided to charge $300.

What? That was an extraordinary waste of money. She didn't even present. She wouldn't even go into a private room where she went to the corner of like a barber shop.

She was in a bathroom. We got to tell them the whole prompt that you sent. I We I wanted I wanted a vision of you being bold.

Okay. Oh, she didn't say it. She said, "My friend Tom is having confidence issues cuz he's

Man, you missed the most important part." So So she actually she she softened the blow.

She softened the blow, but she's a pro, guys. Nobody asked for her to soften the blow.

Well, Eli actually followed up and she's supposed to do a make good. So we'll see if we

emphasizing the Meredith. We want to [ __ ] make good on 300 bucks. We said ball. We said Bob. bulb.

That's good advice we could all learn from. True. Yeah. You got the world, right? Your gifts.

So, we could put that on a DVD for you. I appreciate you got to watch it every morning.

Physical media. All right. Well, thank you so much. All right. All right. So, Tom, who do you got?

I can stay right here cuz I got you, old friend. I got you. I got you, babe. Old slick Tommy.

Tommy boy. Tommy gun. Tommy gun. What do we got here? Huh? Come on. So, I think what do you get the man who has everything? I can't get you watches. I can't I don't know what hobbies you have. If you even have hobbies. I

actually don't know much about you at all. Yeah. Well, no, let's keep it that way.

Not much to know. Not much. Exactly. Right. So, just here. I figured get you something practical for the next phase in life.

Okay. Oh, let me guess. It's some [ __ ] a walker or some [ __ ] I don't know what it is to be honest.

Okay. Just for the record, Tom, we did we did a mass poll. We did and you ended up older than me.

Uh like 3 years. That's that who gives a [ __ ] But what happened? If you're old If you're older than me by even one year, whatever this is, it should be for you.

Look, the point is we're both old and you got to accept it. And I think you're going to have to make some changes in your life.

I got This is really Oh, careful. There's a label on it. Other way. Other way. Did I show it?

No. Oh, thank you. Well, it's it's extremely taped up here. So, give me a sec. Okay.

Give me an old man. Force him to use a sharp tool. You could use the sword, I guess.

True. What's on the mannequin's face? They're all snotty. Yeah. Nasty. All right. What you got, Ethan?

I'm getting there. Shout out to uh Selena Gomez and Betty Blanco. Shout out. Shout out.

Shout out. All right, here we go. Let's see what we got. Okay, let's go. Well, this there's some there's several things you can take them out one at a time. All right, here we go. Here we go. Oh, okay. Oh, this is great. First of all, you are so predictable.

Yes. Look at my hand, you [ __ ] old [ __ ] Yes, I will. Put it together. Well, yes.

Um, squeeze balls. Wait, that actually sounds legit. Arthritis is the silent killer, Ethan, and you're entering the next phase in life, and I want to make sure you have your strength.

Well, let's open this cuz I'm actually excited and try. This is These are actually probably really cool.

There you go. All right, I'm going to try all this stuff. I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to take

Take this seriously. Take it seriously. Yeah, please. Why is this Why? They're just like rubber eggs.

Cuz you squeeze them, dude. You really got it cuz of the picture on the front. You see?

There you go. But hold on. I think I might like these for real. You like balls? Lasagna.

Balls in your mouth. That's a sound bite. Okay. immediately. Ethan always got to smell everything. Why do you smell it?

No, those have a smell. I know. Doesn't those don't? No, surprisingly not. Sometime the balls do smell.

You don't smell stuff? No. I have a I have a tremendous sense of smell. You know that.

Yeah. Yeah. It feels good. You want to try it? Um, yeah. I mean, I need some. I got myself a pair as well.

Oh, well that's a pretty fold on. Look at that. That's a bloodborne weapon. Yeah.

Snap. That's kind of nice. My balls. I'd love to hold your balls. They are very testicle shape. E

fallen and I can't get up. Let me adjust this. There's more presents by the way.

Oh, there's more. Um, what what is that? The [ __ ] is that? I think you're break it.

That's how you break it. Yeah, it was fine as it is if you're traveling. How do I this?

You can break it down. That's full size. Yeah, that's what full size is. Put it down. Give it a

Have a walk. It's okay. Yeah. No, that works. That works, right? Do you feel steady on your feet?

It does feel like it needs to be a little bit higher. It's too short. You're using it like Dr. House.

Yeah, it's got to adjust. You got that Chaplain walk, bro. It looks cool when you use it, honestly.

Yeah, you look sick. It would be cool if there was like a a built-in gun. Oh, okay. Oh, there you go.

There he is. That's nice. Oh, it supports you. That's good. You want that in a king.

Hey, seriously, you look so cool. Do they make Do they make this but with like an actual gun in it so you can like

I'm sure that we can arrange that. Sure, why not? A gangster came. Yeah, good. I need [ __ ] I'll need it one day.

I mean, sooner than later, my friend. Old people fall. I'm just looking out for you. I So, do you think it works with the watch hand, Zach, better? Or the or the

the watch hand? Yeah, draw attention to the watch. Yeah, that is a beautiful peach.

Wow. You look good. Yeah. No, this is a good look for you for sure. Is your other arm like glued to your hip now?

Yeah. Old people are get poor posture. It's hard for them to stand up. Poor your poor supple little wrist there. It's a lot of weight.

You know what? Worry about your own. My wrist game is strong, dude. Yeah, you probably jerk off a lot more than me.

All right. So, actually, I [ __ ] with the cane. [ __ ] with the with the eggs.

Hell yeah. I'm liking what I'm getting so far. Okay. What else? You think this is a joke, but I literally

He's already got that one next to my bed. See, I know you, bro. It could be It could be for your night time.

No, this one actually is pretty nice. Ethan, get rid of the box. I know. Ethan, the box.

Ethan, lose the box. Lose the box. Oh, is the address on it? What's in the box?

There you go. [ __ ] box. This one actually is an upgrade though. Yeah, it was the

It has a button on it. Five stars. Oh, for real? Yeah. Only the best for you, boss. So, I had um I have one at home, but it doesn't have these buttons.

Oh, the flip. Oh, that's nice. That flipping action. Wow. Yeah. Very fun. It makes taking fun.

You don't have one of these? Actually, I do. Don't we all have one of these, though? Like, at the end of the day, like at some point,

Yeah. We're old, bro. I mean, I'm right there with you. I have the same. Well, mine's all psychiatric medicine most.

Yeah. So, it's not really No, it's nothing fun. No. Okay. Um, and so and the feedback I I heard I watched the comments and stuff is you look much younger without the gray.

Yeah. And I'd love to see you in jet black hair. I just think it's funny. We've done it. It's [ __ ]

Well, well, hold on. We We did not We didn't do it right. Okay. Well, we did on the subathon drunk and we dyed it like the darkest onyx black amount of magician.

Okay. Okay. Okay. When we come back, I'll go to a salon, get it professionally dyed.

Interesting. And then we need to do another calling the mom. Calling the moms. Oh, I mean, you're going to kill me, bro.

Well, let's see. I think I'm going to go to Turkey over the break and get hair.

It's definitely It's praying that makes you look older. Like 100%. Yeah, let's get him a really nice hair.

I got 30 days to get hair plugs. Just embrace it. You think you can do grow those out in 30 days?

You ever think about it? You ever think about getting transplant? No, I don't know.

You don't care. I don't care. Yeah, good for you. You rock it. Thank you. So, this is my

Meredith knows that beard and easy combing color. So, here we go. There you go.

You do that over the break. Thank you. And the last one. This one I really like because this really applies probably when you're hanging out, maybe you have some of the younger crew members over to your house. You know, you're you're from different generations. You don't know how to relate. So, conversation cards for grandparents. I thought

if they're not sure what to talk to you about, this is a little help. Let's see what these cards are. Eh,

that's kind of a clever idea. I like it. Maybe this will allow you to connect with the youth.

Isn't this a little patronizing? Like, oh god, I don't know how to talk to grandma and grandpa. They're so weird.

Pretty common. I need a card. How the [ __ ] do you talk to an 8-year-old about Skippy toilet when you [ __ ] fought in World War II? You know what I mean?

Well, how are the cards going to help then? At least they can give you the vocabulary.

Be like, "So, how's the weather?" I'm surely the prompts will be better than that.

Well, we'll find out then. Let's see. Let's Let's have a conver dead ass. Here we go. Let's start from the top. When and where were you born?

Me. That's what it says. Stratford, New Jersey. Look. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing that Grandpa.

Wow. Did you have an allowance as a child? If so, how much was it and what did you spend it on?

Oh, wait. This is sounding like questions the kids are asking the grandparent. Yes.

Yes. This would be for the young. This would like for example, Lena would read this to you.

Oh, if there were awkward moments in your interactions so that we can interact with

the old cuz you need like a the s you need like a translator to talk to old people.

Yeah. It's difficult for the young people these days. I asked you a question, bro.

Um, I got an allowance of $5. Yeah. And I spend it on baseball cards. Nice. Pretty much. And candy. Candy.

You You hold You still have any of those baseball cards? No, I sold them for drugs when I did college.

Did you have good ones, though? Um, yeah. I guess you were able to buy some drugs. It must have been worth something.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I had some good sets. Do you like sports? If so, what are your favorite teams? If not, why don't you, Grandpa?

Something in the chat said security prompt questions. These are all like what's your what's your name?

So true. This is like a really this is like a mentalist or a social engineering habit.

So grandpa, what's your pin number? Yeah. What's your last uh five of your social?

Um, have you ever met anyone famous? The great Ethan Klein. Wow. What are the chances? What are the chances? One more. One more. What did you learn when you were young that impacts who you are today? I would be like, "Stop with the dumb [ __ ] questions. Just watch the Big Bang and shut up. Just shut up and watch the Big Bang."

Grandpa, isn't it time to take your medication? I already did this morning in my pill box that you gave me. Thank you.

Yes. So, that's it. And then I was out with the fam last weekend and I saw something um that made me think of you.

Okay. It's not old people related. Okay. Give me Give it here. There you go. You can put this on your desk. That's it. No, this is this is it right here. Right right in your hand. That That

peace and love. It's It's peace and love. And it's a VW bus. It's a VW bus. That says peace and love.

Oh, this is awesome. And if you can wind, you can pull it back and it'll go. It's fun for the whole family.

Oh, wait. You You should play chicken with with Ela's gift. This is a Mr. Beast video. Let's see which one is faster.

Capture it here. Which way are we doing it? This way. Oh, we're doing it towards each other.

Head to head, baby. Where you going, coward? Where you going, man? Where are you going? Three, two, one, attack.

YO, [screaming] YO, the horse wins. The horse. I mean, this guy. Wow. Wow. Japan. That's quality.

That's quality stuff, dude. That was sick. That thing is really fun. All right. Well,

there you go. Yeah, whatever you want. And it's got a door that look at the door opens. Did you catch a detail of it?

The back door opens, right? Is your back door open for business? My on my car. Yes.

Okay. Thank you, Tom. So thoughtful. Wow. Thank you. Merry Christmas. Santa. Uh-huh. So, Ethan, who do you have?

Yeah. So, well, give me the Yeah. Yeah. All right. I have the only person that's left I think.

No, there's more. Oh, yeah. Um, you Morgan. Good Morgan. Morgan. Wait, I have a funny thing.

Good Morgan. See you tomorrow. [screaming] Good morning. See you tomorrow. Now, I'll be honest. I had trouble thinking of something.

It's okay. Um, we haven't known each other as long as as some of the other ones here.

True, true, true. But hopefully we have all the years to to get to know each other. Don't touch.

I thought you were an idiot to me. So like so here's your first gift. But I do know you get give me back.

Oh my god. Let go. But I do know you're an actor. You're a writer. I am. Yeah. You love the arts.

I love the arts. And you're Jewish coded. I I do not claim I do not believe in stealing the valor of the Jewish aesthetic.

Has anyone ever told you that? I've been told that. Yeah. Okay. I've been told that.

So that's that's one. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Go ahead. I can. Yeah. You Jew. Thank you.

Wait. So what's the story? Do you have any Jewish in you or none at all? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. Oh my god. Woody Allen, a propos of nothing, autobiography. Is he Jewish? Was Woody Allen Jewish?

Oh, yeah. And he also is Woody Jewish. Great writer. No, I mean, one of the best.

The fantastic being a good writer and being a bad groomer. Mutually exclusive things. Good writer.

They often go hand in hand. They go hand in hand. Yeah. But but like talking about like writing, acting, theater, this guy has everything you're interested in.

He's a such a role model. It might it might you might say that that he's your spirit animal.

Oh my god. My spirit No, my spirit animal is a narwhal. I'm sorry. That's decided.

It's not It's not a decrepit old man. No, no, no. Have sex with his Is he still alive?

He is sadly still alive. We're all waiting. We're all waiting. Just don't take parenting advice from him.

In this candid and often hilarious memoir, the celebrated director, comedian, writer, and actor offers a comprehensive personal look at his colorful life.

And this is this is by all accounts a terrific book. I mean, I got a month off. I might as well, you know, I just want I'll have to put something on the cover so nobody knows I'm reading it

and then I'll I can read it in the park. You should cover it with like a smut or like a big embarrassing.

Yeah, just something anything else. But to um to offset the uh curse of this one, I got you something. Listen, I'm the boss. I got you got the boss.

I got to get you something nice for my people. A Wait. Well, you don't know what it is yet. What do you think it is?

You don't know what it is. Nate, you don't know what it is. Nate's laughing said he knows what it is.

Wait, let's let Nate know what it is. Wait, let Nate guess. But yeah, what do you think it is?

First name. That was a sharks gift card. Sharkies gift card. It's I thought about it.

What is this? Do you know what Mastros is? No. Oh, it's a it's Oh my god. It's a really nice restaurant on Red.

It's a fancy restaurant. What? Very nice. [screaming] Yeah. $300. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. Take you go there and you'll have a great meal. You'll have a great You'll have a Christmas feast.

Oh my god. Thank you. You'll really enjoy like the the restaurant. It's really It's a beautiful place.

I'll bring this book and I'll sit there and eat an entire $300 meal by myself while reading this book.

You could. Um, there it is. Merry Christmas. All right. Yeah. You're so welcome. Oh my gosh.

Thank you. Merry Christmas. Amazing. Amazing. Who do you got, Morgan? I have for you if you want.

Oh, yes. Totally not going to steal. I have Zack. ZACK. ISAAC. HEY, NOW. [screaming] AB, I told Ethan that it's a shame. It's a shame he didn't get you because you could go eat steak and choke on it.

Hey, true. Honestly, you know, it's a good place to die. We We went to breakfast in Vegas, us two, and Harley and I almost choked on steak. I'd be like, man, can you imagine the only Arab at this table dying?

You got to choose your food, man. Oh my god. it. I feel like this gift is pretty self-explanatory. Not much like presentation needed, but

you want to wrap up Torah. What is that? Is a Torah like a long circular really did nice today.

I cleaned it. It's extra shiny. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, how cool. Oh, what is that? It's a little instrument of some sort. It's uh [snorts]

Oh, it's a Spam Joe. It's a Spam Joe. That one two string Spam Joe. Wait, is that

No, I don't think so. He's going down the river. as spam Joe. We We ain't seen you around here before, boy.

Who told you you could come down this river this way? Wait. Oh, WE NEED We need to You make the music. And this is the music video.

Wow. That's really cool. That's a spam gel. Love it. I love that. Love it. It came with

Amazing. And a little book of uh you in your pocket, but came with like sheet your like tablete.

Oh, how cool. Wow. Yeah. Thank you so much. You're welcome. That's awesome. Very cool.

You're welcome. Wow. I can take that for you, Zach. All right, Zach. Actually, hold on. Let me grab my balls.

Your balls. Yeah. Cough for me. Don't step on my balls. Uh, right there. My [ __ ] ball, dude.

Missing a ball. Missing a ball there. Oh, no. Oh, no. You one ball. Here. Try it.

All right, Zach. What do you got? So, I Yeah, it's kind of nice to be Hold up. Dan wants to hold down one of these balls. Hold Ethan's balls, Dan.

You have to put it like right deep in your palm and squeeze it. I like it. Why? Why do you assume I got you?

Cuz it's too hard. Can you hand me the ball? The yellow. Okay. I thought it would balls feel good, Dan.

Yeah. Why? Why is she hating on? Hold on. We're having two separate conversations.

Me, too. I think me and Trying out the balls. Very squishy. Like a Yeah. Yeah. Some kosher balls, Dan. Kosher balls.

Um, I got my right-hand man, Nate. Come on down, Nate. Come on. Hey, ladies and gentlemen.

Nate dog. I'm going to frame. Come here, Nate. Really? I've really created a bond with you this year.

Thank you. So, I have with you. I'm glad to call you a friend. Thank you. So, I wanted to get you something very special.

Oh, okay. Let's see. So, why don't you open that up there? There's two things in there.

Did you get the bag? I did not get the bag. So, I got Nate his VERY OWN GUANTE.

IS THIS OJ'S? Why does it look so Why does it look like a monkey pop? Cuz the uh

Can you make a wish on it? Yeah, you can do. And then also if you look in here look so

This is his very own guante. And I wanted you to always think of me. So I got you a face for the guante.

That's actually funny. Oh my god. Looks like a murder. Yes, it does. OJ. Yeah, it's OJ's. All right. Well, thank you.

But you know that meme everyone comments with the spinning glove. So, it's your very own Guante, dude. So, merry Christmas.

Wow. Merry Guant Merry Christmas and happy to Merry Guand. Merry Guandamus. Wow.

Guess of course not least. I got Lena. Of course. Never. Never least. Never. I can't wait to see this.

I got the enormous gift. You got a giant gift. Um, I know you are a huge horror movie fan,

so be careful with it. I recommend maybe starting from the top just so you kind of just see what it is. And uh

Oh my god. Okay. Nice size serial killer. I feel like the size is already like so impressive. I just

What could it be that's so big? Oh, your own. You got You got your own place. You could put it somewhere in the house. You could keep it in the office.

Put it in the dark closet. Put it in the dark closet. We're taking this home, AB. We're taking this home.

Of course. Enjoy. Wow. It's going in our living room. Thank you so much, Nate. This is amazing.

Get ready for multiple screams at night, AB, when she goes to get water or whatever.

Lena, you did this to [ __ ] with me as well because he knows an OCD about space at our place.

It's really cool. Yeah. So, enjoy. I also have a Chucky doll. So, this guy's going to be great right next to him.

You know, if you put unironically, if you put that near the front door, any intruder that comes in,

they might turn around. You should put it in the window and just have it face. Yeah. Yes.

No, but I'm taking it home. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, Lena wants it. I can tell. Thanks so much.

Wow. Right. That's it. That's it, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being here.

I feel good with my balls. Shut up. Like the cane. Like the balls. Good. Your balls come out.

Yeah, they come. Yeah, they nice. That was really fun. Oh, and I like my pill box, actually.

There you go. You get an upgrade. Made in China. Now you got a button. What isn't?

You know what's not made in China? Tom. Only in America. Made in America. That's right.

America. Um, I feel my arthritis dissipating. Fantastic. I find it like really annoying.

Why? It's like too hard. That's the you got I think I don't know but your balls come out.

That's how you stop arthritis apparently. Although you haven't spent as as much time at a keyboard as I have.

Mm- My whole like my whole life has been me sitting with my hands like this on a keyboard

essentially. Well, there you go. So, thank you. So thoughtful, Tom. Of course. I'm very impressed with what people were able to put together cuz we decided to do this not that long ago. like Lena. How did you pull it off so quickly?

Um, or I mean, you don't have to share your secrets. I had [clears throat] some help for maybe just a little bit, but

I'm Santa Claus. Yeah, for I mean, Santa and Love's present. And whose present? I'm sorry.

Love. That was crazy. I know that that was impressive. [cough and clears throat]

One thing I do need to say is that um you can't leave the curse here. That that those aren't allowed to stay in the office overnight. So, Morgan, are you going to take that or maybe you put it in your trunk?

It's It's uh It's for Morgan until tomorrow gets back. Oh, man. A [ __ ] wet and somehow both wet and burned.

Sister traveling curse. Explain that, huh? Well, um Well, that was so much fun. Now, let's get back to laughing at Idubbbz.

Now, let's let's celebrate the real holiday spirit. Yeah. Wait, do we got new material? Well, I only got three minutes through this [ __ ] By the way, tetanus update. Um, it's caused by bacteria that's often found in soil, dust, and animal manure, not rust.

I think all of those were on that [ __ ] saw, though. That's So that's why people think you get it from rusty metals because it's frequently in contact

with these types of things. So, I've been uh medically lied to by the people saying if you cut your finger on a nail, then you need a tetanis shot.

No. Yeah. I No, but I mean it's I think it is good advice because rusty metal objects can have this bacteria on it.

But um if but is it a is it does it the rust that gives it to you? No. Every time you get scratched by a rusty nail, are you going to get tetanus? No.

No. You know, so there's that. You can get tetanus from clean looking metal actually. So actually the rust is irrelevant. Wood splinters, animal bites, small cuts containing contaminated with soil.

Wonder if RFK has ever had a tetan. You cannot get tetanus from rust alone. And it needs to be on a wound obviously as well. So there's that. What does tetanus even do? You know,

I think it's like horrible. Really? I think I'm googling it right now. Can you get Can you Let me see.

Yeah. What's tness do? I don't think it's fatal. Blocks nerve signals, causes tightening. I know the lock jaw thing. 3 to 21 days after infection. Jaw stiffness. Lock jaw. Neck and shoulder stiffness. Painful muscle spasms, trouble swallowing or breathing, fever, sweating, fast heart rate. That didn't sound fun. Muscles can spasm so hard they break your bones. That sounds very painful. Breathing muscles can lock up. That's life-threatening. And without treatment, tetanus can be fatal. It's not contagious. There's no cure once the toxins bind to the nerves. Sorry about that.

Uh, but you recover in weeks to months. So, how about that? Merry Christmas everybody.

Can I give my input on tetanus? Sure. I mean, I don't really care about what you have to say about a vaccine, but

Well, here's the thing. I'm I'm I'm a fan of the tetanus shots. Oh, that [clears throat] one you like?

Yes, because I do eat uh nails in uh my Cheerios in the morning. You eat nails?

Yes. Why do you think I sound like this? So, do you are you pro vaccine or not?

Well, who came up with the term tetanus? I don't know. Now, say the word tetanus.

Tetanus. Now, say Jewish. Jewish. Case closed. What? They don't even sound similar at all. What the hell is this guy talking about?

I just wanted to come all and wish you a merry Christmas. All right, get out of here and wish Merry Christmas to yourself, you weirdo. Anyway, back to um back to my favorite clip maybe of the year, which is kind of funny that we're serving it up on the last one, but we were we were watching the Idubbbz clip and um we were only 3 minutes through, so I'm going to skip right back to the middle um and honor my dear friend Ian and Ana who are doing great and we're all very happy for them. like bisexual women and uh like a a mix between gay men and straight women, I would say. But I I think actually your strongest demographic is bisexual women right now as is.

I'm going to go through like a um an evolution. I'm going to shave the mustache. I'm going to get like a freaking Chris Hem Hemsworth haircut and I'm freaking swoll. Okay. If you do that, you are like specifically appealing to gay men. I think at that

Oh, that's how does he appeal Damn it. How does he appeal to straight women? Just tell him.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's impossible. Just toss him a bone. It's not possible, bro.

You're just unfuckable. I'm sorry. He's like, "What if I get as heterosexual as possible, cleancut, uh just try to look as conventionally attractive and regular?" or she's like gay. Sorry. You know, like get toss your man a bone. He's obviously hurting out here. Like, I know he's laughing, but his ego is not recovering from this.

I like appealing to gay men. They have good taste. Well, you're just trying recipe of how you could appeal like I I actually don't think there's a world

where I appeal to straight women. You could appeal to straight women. No world, right? Yeah,

guys. In no world in not in any of the infinite parallel universes I can I cannot

will any straight woman ever find you [ __ ] which by the way and as I've said before Ian lost his virginity to her.

So as far as he's aware she's right. So imagine how like um he probably feels like she's the only woman that will ever you know

touch him in that way. Uh I don't even know if she is. It's It's very confusing cuz isn't she a straight woman at that point in time? Like she's dated another guy before him.

Yeah. I don't know if she's been doing this by thing for a while. I just heard it for the first time recently.

So, you know what bye means in Ana's world? Bye-bye. Bye, Dubs. Bye, Doug. Bye-bye. Hello. New relationship. Yeah,

it makes a lot of sense that like that lines up with my history. Yeah, because you right now I think [cough and laughter] so.

And what history is that? Ian, you're a virgin. You're a virgin. So defeated. It's painful to watch.

She loves it. She just she's like boot on his face and just grinding. Clean up.

She's basically curve stomping him right now. woman's dream. Um, and laugh it off, buddy. Oh [ __ ] we got to kill this.

But I think appealing to like straight women, specifically straight women, I think would be it's just not your your vibe is not, it doesn't really

Sorry, buddy. Bushy says, "Uh, no, no, no, Ian, you're hot enough to appeal to gay men, no matter the form." Wow. All right. Have you ever considered opening up an Only Fans?

Me? Yeah. Um, you're in a room. You're in a room with one other person. What the What do you mean me? Me,

[ __ ] You heard the [ __ ] question, idiot. He's probably uncomfortable. He's having a whole ass conver. That's what it means.

Yeah. But imagine you're having a one-on-one conversation. There's nobody else around. And they go, they ask you a question. Who me?

[snorts] Who else? Straight Ian. No, straight Ian. Yeah, straight female love to be eaten by Ian. Not this weird thing.

And I went back. You could change it. Oh [ __ ] We got to kill this guy. Yeah, kill it. But I think appealing to like straight women, specifically straight women, I think would be it's just not your your vibe is not it doesn't really

Zach, we got to run these next year, man. He got up. But yeah, we'll get on top of that.

No, no, no. I was going to say if Zara ever had this like braided me like this, like beat me down so much, I would stand up. I would give my kids like kiss and hug and tell them I love them. put my head down and just walk out of the house and never come back

for cigarettes. Charlie Brown style. Absolutely. Yes. Well, I certainly wouldn't sit there and just smile and laugh. I would ask, "What the [ __ ] are you? What are you? What? What? Why are you Can we not have this conversation in front of everybody? Can you call me hideous and unfuckable in private, please?"

Smelly, too. Bad breath, by the way. Shane brain damaged. Ian, you're hot enough to appeal to gay men no matter the form. Wow.

All right. Have you ever considered opening up an Only Fans? Me? Wow. Yeah. You

uh I I start to consider it when I freaking look in the mirror about to shower. I'm like,

"Yeah, I've been freaking I've been working hard." Mhm. True. Um, yeah, I'm not opposed to it.

I think, uh, listen, listen, Ian, she just spent the last 5 minutes telling you nobody wants that [ __ ]

So, just say no and do the world a f do yourself a favor. Save some face and just say no. Jesus Christ, man. Although you guys know the thing I want more than anything is for his Only Fans, a pick of his penis from Only Fans to hit the internet and then the the LCA ascension will be complete. Like that's like the that's like the the beginning of a worldending spellbinding like at the at the moment that the watch strikes 8:00 p.m.

Mhm. on December 28th. Lo, the lol cow's penis shall enter Twitter. Wow. And the antichrist will rise again.

Wow. Sorry. It is what it is, guys. I was falling. Yeah. I don't know. You have a lot of You have a lot of range.

Yeah. Someone said by women only a look that appeals to everyone or what look appeals to everyone.

Hassan Obby appeals to everyone. Guys, that's so funny to say that. So funny. It's so funny to say that.

He's laughing and she goes, he what? He does. That's so funny to say. He proceeds to cry. It's so funny.

That's so funny to say. That's so funny. That's really funny. Will you take that dagger out of my back real quick?

Would you do me a favor? Yeah. Because I was going to say that's a that's a that's a tough question or whatever. You can't like you can't like it all.

No, you're always going to be polarizing to someone. Mhm. That's true. But I think Hassan Obby has the most

not him though. I think Coffeezilla could do really well on Only Fans, too. Coffeezilla. She's literally

talking about She's literally naming every male. Dude, is Coffeezilla like super hot?

I mean, I bad looking dude. He's not a bad looking dude. But it's not like yo, nobody's asking for his Only Fans.

Nobody is asking for his Only Fans, but like she's naming every person who none of us are thinking of doing Only Fans for obvious reasons, but he is. And she's like hot, hot, hot, hot. Sick hot vibes. Hot. Nobody wants to [ __ ] you. Stinky. Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian.

Suck my ass, [ __ ] No, man. You're such a loser. Yeah. I know. You really are a house elf, aren't you?

Wow. All right. I do. I think he would do really well. What the hell? He would do well because anyone who's like assertive and giving takes and like being online definitely has an only fans demographic. Anyone who's doesn't come off like they would have an Only Fans automatically will do [clears throat] well on Only Fans.

So Ian, it does gives the vibe that he desperately It's hot. It's like taboo. Like are you telling me Coffeezilla showing like [ __ ] neck on the internet? Like people would be like, "Holy shit." Like what the hell? Like that's it's like access in a way that you never thought you would like see,

you know? Yep. So, so that's, you know, clip of the year contender right there.

Yeah. Right. That hurt. What a couple. What a folks. What a couple. Love to see love win.

Love always wins. Even up there in Edmonton in minus 30° weather. Wow. I know. She's She's negging him, right? That's what she's doing to him. Like, she's just

constantly putting down. What does that mean? Negging. It's like you you like don't compliment them, but you put them down.

Nag nagging. No, nagging with ne. GG. The form of emotional manipulation where someone uses backhanded compliments or subtle insults to lower another person's self-esteem. Wow.

That's what she's doing. I never heard that. You guys never heard of that? Guys usually do it to women.

She's doing that. She's negging him. Well, cuz she's saying you could do no fans, but straight women wouldn't like you. Like it's a compliment, but also you're repulsive.

Nothing of what she said is a compliment. I was trying to figure out what's the word for what she's doing. So that's that's good. I learned a new word.

Yeah. Negging. It sounds like she does that constantly, too. Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh, I have an interesting uh I have an interesting update for my gift for AB from Avery. You see this?

Uh I haven't, but I I I'm sure he's jealous. What is it? It's not that he's jealous. Although he may be. Um, apparently Arab Bulma is canon. What? Oh, from Dragon Ball. The original Dragon Ball.

But when did that happen? Her outfit the whole time. No, it must have just been like an episode where

Well, this must have been the deleted app when she got a boob job. Yeah, right.

This is what they call those like the And in fact, in seeing this, this is rather inappropriate because I believe this character is like 13 years old here. So,

no shot. Well, she's a teenager, right? I remember I tried watching the original one and like at some point Goku like is sexually like like

there's a lot of really perverted [ __ ] in Dragon. I was like what? Yeah, he's a kid and I bailed after that.

I mean, even in Dragon Ball Z, uh, what's his name? The old guy, Master Roshi. Master Roshi is a pervert. His whole character is that he loves boobs.

Well, who character to be fair? I'm not a pedophile. Yeah. No, let's get that out of the way. Um, we got a lots of other stuff. Let's see. I'm telling you, Myin, friend of the show, um, cowardly anti-semite who once pressed, fell quiet in shame and despair. And, uh, he has no reason, uh, he has no reason, um, to feel good about himself. He is literally just a self-hating [ __ ] stain. Uh uh uh. But not only that, he's getting absolutely annihilated by this Colin. Now, you [clears throat] know, he's all about like per hypergamy and alpha maleness and all this stuff, but we all know his girlfriend Angie, who he loves. He was super into Angie, she left him for a hot roller skating daddy.

Roller skater. They call him Rico. Rico. Right. Right. Right. So, this caller calls in and just watch this. It's fascinating. Is this Myron?

I think you don't have real game. And uh yeah, let's be real. She wasn't locked in with you. You had a girl, but you didn't have her soul. So Rico, she he didn't really steal Angie. He collected her. That's a big difference, bro. Yeah, man. They call him Rollerblade Rico. He's a shadow that just rolls out of nowhere, man. Smooth wheels, smoother games.

You don't even hear them coming. One minute you're holding her hand, next minute gone. Gone like the wind. What are you lacking Myin?

Everything that you can't hold her desire. Why didn't you have her so locked in? I mean, she was your girlfriend, right? You claimed to have her as a girlfriend. So, where did you lack as a man? Roller Blade Rico just swooped it up. Are you small?

I know. Silence is very loud right now, but you have nothing, dude. What? Whoa. Was that unedited? Like, he was just sitting there in silence taking it cuz that's almost too good. It's almost too good.

I don't I as far as I know, it's not edited, but I mean, let's see. Well, he mentioned that he was sitting there in silence, so

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He acknowledged it. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Has he Someone on our subreddit asked, "Has he tried not being a misogynistic Nazi?"

No, he hasn't tried that. Ladies don't like nice uh guys who don't want to uh you know

who don't want to be Nazis and hate them. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It's weird. Women don't hate men or don't like men that hate them. It's very strange.

Um so there it is. So that was So I mean two fat dubs, huh? pretty good. Wow, that was crazy.

Two really nice clips. I'm surprised he didn't just hang up on the caller or something.

No, he let it happen, man. He was like disassociating. I kind of feel like the caller probably said something like, "Don't hang up on me."

But he's so easy to bait. I feel like he could set him up so easily. That caller was very funny though and very brutal,

man. Little baby. Yeah, my people don't like you. Even like guys, like everybody knows you're a [ __ ] You're a loser. You have no self-respect for yourself, let alone other people. I mean, what a [ __ ] loser dude.

And also a coward. I mean, you had the opportunity to sit here and tell me exactly what you think about Jewish people, but you fell quiet. In fact, it's absolutely fascinating because once again, when you pull up this quote,

that's his sound. Is is is Fitz still [ __ ] with him? Yeah. I feel like I always see Myin on his own now. does like his own like pre-show and after show, but he's still

I I'm I'm We got to get coconut. I'm I'm working on something with Myron for when we get back. I've I've been I've been slowly cooking. I will say

I will say I'll just say this. He ends his YouTube stream, starts his own member stream, and says, "Now that we're off YouTube, and he takes out Minecom, puts it on his shelf." He starts

Where was that guy? He starts with uh Hell Hitler the song playing. He does a Nazi salute. That's a week before the Bondi thing. So [clears throat] I was curious to see now that this happened, this massacre happened. How does he

now? What does he have to say about it after Oh, also his sub notification is like the uh you know the anti-semitic

every bro you got to get like a personality. Yeah. Yeah. Like hating Jews is not a personality especially if you're trying to attract a woman. It's like so tell me about yourself. Oh, I hate Jews. It's like fine. It's a new hobby, buddy.

Yeah. So, after after the the massacre, he still played hell Hitler, did the Hitler salute.

Yeah. Yeah. Sticking to his guns. Yeah. Mhm. [cough] I love this quote. And I feel like he might be the most embodiment of it. Never believe the anti-semitists are completely unaware. And that the ending gets you. Never believe the anti-semitists are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that the remarks are frivolous and open to challenge, but they are amusing themselves. For it is their adversary who's obliged to use words responsibly since he believes in words. The anti-semites have the right to play.

They even like to play with discourse. For by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocator. They delight in acting in bad faith since they seek not to persuade by sound argument, but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is passed.

That's what you did. You're so [ __ ] predictable. You're such a small tiny person that this dude Jean Paul Sarter [ __ ] wrote your whole [ __ ] life story.

A French guy, dude. You got written by a French guy from the mid century. Like like

so embarrassing. Come on. You know what are we doing here? That's petition. Yeah. Okay, my you can call back in. I mean, if you have I don't know if he wants round two of that beatd down.

I mean, if he's going to do the same thing, what's the point, right? I'm assum Well, YouTube did change their policy.

You can now just be openly honest on YouTube now. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, to be just to be blunt,

they're more relaxed now. And racist and like just to everybody, right? Right. I do know that they've they've loosened the rules recently.

Yeah. All the social medias were like, "Racism is back on the menu, boys." Calling for violence against minorities is back on the menu, boys.

Wow. Um, you guys, speaking of uh back on the menu, speaking of How about some birthday cake? Huh?

Huh? I said speaking of back on the menu, how about some birthday cake? Okay, sounds good. Like cake.

Do you Well, I guess after we light it. It's more dramatic, right? We'll start singing as you light it.

Hold your lighter. [clears throat] Ready? Oh no. This is always better. Uhoh. Oh no.

Yeah. No. No. Yeah. Pour some more. Oh my god. Oh. No. Not on the tape. What? Wait. What

was that? A dog or a cat? It got the [ __ ] out of there. Look at him. Look at him. There's multiple.

And that's why, guys, when you're in a situation like this, don't panic. We have more angles.

This is another Yeah. Oh, there's more angles. Okay. Yeah. Wow. It's like a big marshmallow. It's

still pouring. Put it down. There's no Turkish firefighter coded. Shout out to Why are you Oh my god.

My god. I love the guy recording though. Yeah, there's two people that didn't stop recording.

Operating zero health. No. Oh my god. How'd they get all the angles? Everybody's in on this.

That's crazy. Oh, see there. I didn't even know that guy was there. Oh, one of the filmers was a was a teenager. That's why.

I think they all knew it was going to happen. No shot. Nobody like says anything which is is weird. They all just like

spring and surprise. Well, in the first Oh my god. You know, in the first one you can see the dad is not happy,

right? Ironically, the best thing they could have done is probably nothing because it's just burning the the gas will go out once.

She does it so close to the cake. It's crazy. I mean, she was doomed. There was she There was no helping. What was in the cup?

Some kind of very flammable lava. Probably just pure alcohol. I don't know. Yeah,

like something really [clears throat] flammable. Like lighter fluid. Is it that crazy? What is it?

That would be so insane. But it lights so fast. Yeah. What? She doesn't like What are they trying to do?

So now we know who's holding the camera is that young guy. Yes. You see? Yeah. That's crazy move putting that like something that's way more flammable.

Dude, that cat bolts out of the cat was like, "Watch the dad. Watch the dad. Watch the dad."

Put the flame away. Put the flame away. They tried to help her. Emmy uh s pouring.

There's a fire. Extra pour is really what gets me. Uh Emy's pointing out if you were there, you would have just blown it up.

Guys, well, I don't get this joke. Pull up the moment if it's so damning. Pull up the moment.

I didn't say it. Emmy did. Pull up the time stamp. Who is Emmy? Emmy, please. I don't care. Pull Give me pull up the time stamp.

Well, as soon as Emmy sends it to me. Can somebody explain what are they doing with the cake? Like,

I don't know why. Why do you need to light it on fire? Is that Does that What does that do?

Right. It's cool, dude. Fire's sick. True. Is it like a baked Alaska type deal?

What does that mean? Like, isn't that like another like thing that you light on fire? Like another dessert?

I think you're right. It's like a dessert that that restaurants, but it's just like a

It's just like a quick little thing. I don't think they like dump a bunch of flaming liquid on top of it.

I have a photo. I'm still looking for the time stamp. Let me see. Yeah, the photo is not enough.

The photo is pretty damning. Well, no, but I I asked for help. Let's see the video. If she asks for help, it's, you know,

I knew I did. I tried the first time and nothing went off. So, I was like, I was doing my duty to help Ela

cuz it would have been cuz it's like everybody's singing happy birthday. Everybody's looking at me. It's awkward. I just want to move on.

No, I know I did. All jokes aside, I know exactly what you're talking about. And I just get this over with people like she can't blow. She can't blow.

Whatever it is, like in his thing, she can't blow. She can't puke. If if I'm like I know like Lena's like nervous on camera and I try to like

Yeah, exactly. do something for her and then I get [ __ ] for it. I'm like nice mansplaining or whatever.

That must be what Ian was crying about in the content cup. What? Ian Idubbbz. Yeah,

he was crying in that content cup about how hard it is to stand up for your girl online.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what he was talking about. You think he blew out her candles? Yeah,

but probably she didn't want it. By the way, thank you to 42 for the 50 gift. So kind, so generous.

Mr. Towel is back. I've been saving these. There's a bunch of people that have been

read them off gifting. We had to 42 with 50. We had uh Lapser Daxic. Did my best.

Thank you. Thank you. Also with 50. That's two people with 50. Wow. Thank you guys so much.

Ben Fel uh sent 10 gifted. Thank you so much you guys. Thank you so much. That's a classic comeback.

There was one more. Hold on. What about Lapser Dax? Do we thank him or Yeah, that was Yeah, I think I pronounced it differently, but that was

Lap Lapser. Lapserta Labsertz. Yeah, I was struggling. Lerta, thank you for the 50 gifty. That's so kind and generous of all you guys.

Yeah. Well, let's see how we All right, we found it. Thank you, AB. Let's see what the [ __ ] going on here. [snorts]

All right. All right. Ready? We're going to try to blow the candles. None of us are.

I was too slow. I think I know. I wish four other guys wearing white suits came out as well.

See that? Nothing happened. There we go. Ethan blew out the camera. That's bad luck.

I think my videos lately, you guys are full of [ __ ] Like it's so obvious I was doing the right thing.

Yeah. So obvious. I think maybe I didn't ask like with words, but telepathically I was telling him, "Help me out here."

Okay. All right. Well, we don't have that connection. So yeah, I I trust that he knows you better.

I went that way too. Okay. That being said, happy birthday [singing] to you. He may have taken your wish.

All right. So now she blows. Too slow. I think I know. I wish four other guys wearing white suits came out.

I think I don't know. Ethan blew out the camera. It wasn't going out. It wasn't me.

That wasn't Nate. That was love. That was love. Of course it was love. Temptation,

bro. Came at me so quick. Damn. Sorry, Nate. I thought it was you. A did that. Everyone saw that.

Sound by competition's over. You got to get close. I don't know why. So, you got to get closer. Maybe. I don't know. Nothing was happening.

Ethan blew out the bad luck. That's bad luck right there. No, it's not. David. Oh, right. It was Ray. And that's that's why I didn't write it down cuz I thought I would remember and then I forgot. But Ray, our very own Ray gifted 10 as well. So, thank you Ray. Our mod Ray. Yes.

Oh, to do all that, Ray. But thank you. That's so kind of you. But like, come on now. You don't give me money. I give you money.

Right. And then Nick Boris just now uh gifted 20. Thank you guys. So kind. Merry Christmas to all. Thank you. Thank you. Um,

holly jolly Christmas to you. I'm innocent of the birthday blowout. Yes. Hard. Oh boy. Do boy throb update. The snarkers have got to boy throb. Their their comments are full of people being like, "Whatever you do, do not collab with Ethan Klein." It's like, "Okay, whatever. Boyth throbs for all of us. I don't care."

Yeah. It doesn't really matter. And do I mean do we even want to collab with them? I feel like

No, I'm okay. I'm enjoying just being a fan. Well, I don't I want them to come on the show.

Unfold. Oh, fair enough. Fair. I don't want to like be a part of the gang. I just wanted them

Oh, yeah. You don't want to join the gang. Okay, fair enough. Fair. But anyway, they dropped a Hanukkah banger.

All right, let's see it. I'm pretty sure Papsmere is Jewish. Yeah, I remember he posted a video from Hanukkah.

You should call him that. Why? He's way cooler than a papsmear. I think it sounds cool. He's Jewish.

You're not a girl. Shmeir is. Oh, papme. Yeah, his name is Pap and he's a shmear.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking about Okay. All right. Here we go, guys. Let's go. Hanukkah, which it is today the fourth night, I believe. Fourth night of Hanukkah. Let's go.

Is it or is it the fifth? I think it's fifth. I mean, it's fifth. It's not my expertise.

You're tracking. I just someone I guess yesterday said happy 4th [clears throat] day.

Yesterday the third I so we did three candles but then I saw somebody on Instagram do four candles so we may have been a day behind.

We'll figure it out. So you know Oh Lean, are you here? I got the craziest Hanukkah gift for the boys for the last night.

Oh yeah. It's kind of for me too. Actually, I'll tell you guys what it is cuz it's to surprise the kids and not you. I got a fullyfledged

DDR arcade. Holy [ __ ] That I'm going to put in the basement. No way. The boys. Yeah, I know someone who's really good at that.

Yeah, the boys have been dancing a lot. Ally and I are coming over. Come over. Ally is Can I say good?

Alli is a DDR queen. Yeah, she's really good at it. It's really good exercise. I have never tried it.

It's super fun. I used to do it as a kid. It's really fun. And the boys, they love dancing lately.

Yes. And so I think I think they're going to really love it. Sick, dude. It's sick. It's sick.

Hell yeah. There you go. So that's a flex. Yeah, there was like there was like half measures where like you could buy like a nice mat that was hard or you could buy a mat that had like a a railing or something like that, but I was like

the mat suck. This isn't this isn't scratching the itch. Yeah. Yeah. I want the whole [ __ ] package.

Sure. you know. Well, it's not DDR. It's the uh So, you What's there's a different one they're making now because DDR's

I don't know. I haven't So, you think you can dance or some [ __ ] Oh, I think that sounds right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah. Anyway, happy Hanukkah from the from the boy throbs.

Shalom. Congrats to Jewish. [ __ ] is not common to be a part of that tribe. What's it like to become happy?

Wow. Send this to someone Jewish. Jewish. Send this to someone Jewish, guys. It's absolutely amazing. Did they make up the song? Cuz I've never heard it like that. I think they that was maybe an original uh medalley an original um composure.

It's really good. Oh yeah, that had to have been Well, it was set to Dre Dre, but

Yeah, but the way they did it the lyrics. Yeah, that's very good. Their new single is [ __ ] sick.

Have we Do they have an actual song though? Yeah, they dropped their first ever song.

It's called Finger and it's good. It's called Finger. Funger. Funger. It's really good.

Stick your Hold on. I wonder if it's on YouTube. Stick your finger. Wait, stick your for this character to come back.

There's hunger. There's a hunger. We need hunger. FF back. That's so funny. He text me.

He just texted you? Yeah, he um How's he doing? He's doing good. He's uh I'll tell you. Uh I'll tell

you after. Yeah, he's good. He's good though. He's good. He's good. He wants to do something.

Yeah. Nice. Okay. Um the hell is this? It showed me a bunch of options and then it Guys, let's let's try this again. This is not working. Stream it.

Why didn't we think to get a secret Santa gift from hunger? Funger only. I don't know if it's going to get claimed. We can test it out.

Probably do a quick one there. I just want to give you a just a taste cuz taste of the finger. Okay. Four boys.

Wow. Give you more than that. Okay. Yeah, that beat sounds familiar. What I hear so far?

Wait, it does. It sounds like a DOA beat. Oh, it does. You're right. It's kind of giving K-pop though, which I'm super into.

K-pop Demon Hunter AF. Anyone? Yeah. If you got the little All right, I can't help it.

Listen to it in your free time. Dance Funger just joined as a FOA trooper. Dance Bunger.

Dance Funger. Yeah. What a legend. This clip was unreal, man. This guy I don't know the streamer, but he's where I where Oh, he's in an airport lounge. That's where he is. cuz I was trying to figure out where the [ __ ] would this guy who's gambling on steak happen across Ringo Star in the background. So, so he's in like the first class lounge at an airport.

Okay. And Ringo Star, the one and only one of the most famous people alive. Mhm.

Wanders into the back of his screen and this guy has no [ __ ] clue who he is. It's crazy.

Retreat with this and he's live streaming. Yeah, he's live on stake gambling. Yeah, mate.

Yeah, mate. Oh, no. Oh, you're not on the radio. Oh, no. I am. I'm just gambling, mate.

Oh my god. Where you from? I'm from Liverpool. Oh, really? Oh my god. You man, you believe that? He asked [ __ ] Ringo,

where you from? And he gives him the answer. The the Liverpool answer. You know,

the be the Beatles, they always seem fairly humble, you know? Like they're still just like just dudes.

John Lennon was a little John Lennon was probably the most like full of himself. Yeah. No, he was for sure. But uh but the other three

Paul McCartney is like by all accounts like the nicest. He's just like a chill guy.

Like controversyfree dude ever. My parents just saw him two months ago. I saw him like 10 years ago. It was one of the best concerts ever. And they were saying he's he just dances. He plays all instruments. He didn't even take a a break to drink water. No water during the whole show. Three hours.

His8s or something. How did he do it, man? Great. Yeah. He Exactly. There was a clip from Paul a few years ago there. He would he was at some party in New York and the bouncer wouldn't let him in because he didn't know who he was. He's all I didn't write enough hits.

Can you imagine stopping Paul McCartney as a bouncer? What the [ __ ] are we doing here? You guys don't What is wrong with this guy? And he's English, too, which I don't know if that matters, but I feel like it doesn't. It should. That's even worse.

They're like royalty. It felt like that's a national I mean, that's a national treasure.

Yes. No wonder they all moved to the States, right? Yeah. [snorts] It's crazy. He sounds so iconic. Like,

yeah. When he goes Liverpool Liverpool from Liverpool, Manchester must be brothers. Who was that guy, man? He said, "Oh,

his his wife was like very classy, so he must be a very high he must be pretty high value. You

pretty high value. Look at these idiots, bro. Ringo Star. He He's beyond your high value.

There is no value." Yeah, he's priceless. I've seen a longer clip. What? I'm So, where are they?

I'm from Liver. Well, they're in I So, what I what I gathered is that they're in a first class lounge at an airport.

But what is he doing live streaming there? That seems so uh he's just he's a dumb He's a dumb fake gambling streamer. He's in Don't expect anything from him.

Liverpool. Yeah, where you from? Liverpool. What do you do? I'm in a band. Give me a radio.

That's Ringo Star, bro. You're not on the radio. Also, Ringo Star is so recognizable. I mean,

he's Come on, bro. No, not everybody [ __ ] with the Beatles. What can you do? It doesn't matter. You still should know who he is.

You think young people don't [ __ ] with the Beatles anymore? Like, do like 15year-olds know who Ringo is?

I think they don't. They do. No, I don't, man. I start listen to the Beatles when I was 13.

When every time someone turns like around 18 or so, they start you you realize,

but do they still like listen to Dark Side of the Moon and like do all that [ __ ] I don't have any.

I think Pink Floyd and the Beatles, specifically those two of all the classic rocks.

Well, because like Dark Side of the Moon is I think you're wrong. Whenever I whenever I get to ask somebody that's younger, they they don't know the Beatles. They don't care about it.

I know what he looks like from the show to be honest. Look, I feel like without the show, I wouldn't know what he looks like.

You would know Rango Stein. I'll be honest, I wouldn't have recognized him. Like,

I told you. I told you, bro. Telling you, you're getting old. I [clears throat] know what he looks like in the old timey photos, but I don't know what he looks like today.

The same. Looks the same. Pretty much love. Surprisingly, he looks like the guy

more liver sports. Who was that guy? And then he starts going, "Star Ringo. Star Ringo. Who is that?"

Staring. Oh, no. He goes, "Sorry, Ringo Beatles. What is that?" He goes, "He's they sell him Ringo Beatles." He goes, "I don't know what that means."

Even with the word Beatles in there, he's not putting it together. Yeah, that's

that's why I want the We need a poll. Galia says she had no idea who Ringo Star was.

I'm telling you, Ethan Young. Okay, but you're you I mean, you're Ukrainian, so maybe it's I mean, it's the English language.

No, I I got a taste of it even already when I went to college when I was studying art.

Yeah. Uh some of the people there that were younger than me, I remember they were like, I don't like the Beatles. I don't know.

But they know who they are. No, it's like in a like I don't care about it kind of way.

Yeah, but that's what I said when I was a kid, too. Cuz you're an idiot. Cuz you're an idiot.

No, not in that way. That's in that way. The problem is when you're a kid, you're only exposed to like Yellow Submarine or like the hits. At least [clears throat] in my case,

or just like with your parents, you know what I mean? Like that that's the reason I didn't like it was cuz my parents music. I was like, "Ew, gross. Hate them."

My parents were like, "Yeah, I guess." Yeah. My parents were only [ __ ] hip-hop. Like that's it.

Some Your parents listen to hip-hop? Oh, that's all they listen to. Yeah. Oh, they were your parents?

Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. My My mom picked me up from middle school blast and DMX.

What? What did your dad put on? Um my dad, he likes a lot of like older like, you know, like Pac and Biggie and

Seriously. Holy [ __ ] My first like Sorry. Go ahead. They were teenagers in the 80s and 90s. That's right. Right.

Yeah. They had me young. They were like, "Do they like the new stuff like Drake or Kendrick?"

Uh, they'll if something's like really popular, you know, like Not Like Us or something, I'm sure they will, but um yeah, if it's on the radio,

about that. Mhm. They still listen to the radio. Yeah, but my dad still pays for like uh Well, I know I know people pay for serious for Howard, but my dad just likes the stations.

I know. I I don't honestly I don't get serious. It's just a weird thing. Like maybe it would made sense for me.

Howard Stern show. That's it. That's it. I'll pick my own music. I got Spotify. What are we talking about?

Yeah, exactly. I don't need some idiot to [ __ ] make a playlist. Like, I hope he plays my favorite song next.

That made sense when you had to sit there and listen to it and you're like, "Oh, this guy has good taste."

Yeah. You know who has good taste to music? You for yourself from Liverpool. Can we find the longer one from this?

I Yeah, I just looked on live stream, fells. They used that one. And I'm still looking.

I saw on probably it was a Twitter vid. Uh, in the meantime, Elon Musk comments on Sydney Sweeney. Oh god, what does he say about her?

Oh no. I think she's trying to I think she's trying to tell us something. I think she's trying to show us something.

No. That she's on top of the world right now. There's something she wants us to notice about her.

So he replied to this photo with can't be easy. If you go to the next photo, there's something about basically Yeah. her boobs weighing her down.

What it look So cuz she he's saying she must have back pain. Whatever. That's actually true though.

Let's get out of here. Let's go. Let's Let's go. So he he's offering her uh He's sympathizing.

He's sympathizing. Yeah. I thought he was gonna be weird. I mean, I mean, it's still

it's still very weird. Very weird breasts. I would have avoid that probably, you know,

but okay. Tips are fun. I agree. Totally. Um, so that's all that. Oh, we have an end of the year recap we got to play you guys.

And also what I wanted to do at the very end, right? We play them off. Well, we have um some of our favorite m me uh moments from members content from throughout the years just to kind of remember for all of us members and and also to entice those of you who have not made the plunge yet that we are making really fun stuff and you're going to have a ton of fun. Yeah, I was uh this morning we were kind of figuring out what else we were going to do besides the Christmas thing today and uh I was looking over videos from the last year and just realizing that I personally a lot of the hardest I laugh this year was during members episode

uh genuinely and I started to kind of pull some moments that I thought were were pretty good.

Well, let's take a look. Um here's the first one. North Bergen police officers who plan to sue their police chief Robert Farley now Tuscano says he hopes it doesn't come down to that saying that the

like how do you fire a police chief like he's drugging people he's [ __ ] on the floor can we just get him out of there

no it's not that so this story was crazy this story was so the police chief was like showing up I don't know if he was on drugs or something but he was like he was just psycho

he started [ __ ] on the floor like assaulting people [ __ ] with people's [ __ ] stealing stuff.

He was like poisoning people's coffee. All that stuff is and they couldn't they couldn't get rid of him.

They couldn't get rid of him. Like some police union thing or something that he was like they literally could not get rid of this guy.

What? There's got to be a clause about you forgot there's an even crazier thing that he did is

right. That's community relies on on their on their policing. Well, and if if all of their accusations are true, I don't think it's any question.

Those seem very easily provable one. Well, don't talk [ __ ] on his policing. He's been accused of pooping on the floor.

Maybe maybe he's an ex I You're right. I do question his judgment a little bit.

Well, I mean, sure, maybe how he acts in the in the station doesn't matter. How does he act in the field? You know,

he's a team player out in the field. All right. All right. Attorney General's office should decide something before it gets to that point, including removing him.

Getting to what point? He [ __ ] on the floor. Is that him on the Who's No, these I think are two of the accusers, I think.

Okay. From office. Now, in talking with Tuscano and his son, Matthew, they say Chief Farley is in this picture.

He's got no shirt on. He's trashing his He's shaving his arm hair onto this dude's desk.

What? Yeah. Certified batshit. [ __ ] just breaking glass. Like, what are you doing?

What is happening? Yeah. Holy [ __ ] So, I guess it's retaliation or something. He took off a shirt and was shaving his

hair onto that guy's desk. Completely red gunk. And it sounds like they've been filming it for a long time. I mean, how dysfunctional is our system? Everybody in the police in the police office is filming their chief [snorts] [ __ ] shaving his pubes and arm hair, shaving his body hair on people's desk, drugging people, and we can't get rid of him

back even further. How'd this guy get on top? Maybe he lost his marbles. Maybe something went screw.

That's what I'm saying. Like more than firing, I almost feel like a psych is what's in order. You're gonna hear it

it keeps getting worse on multiple occasions sometimes. It's like how did how did weep like the shaving the hair part which is like the crazy part. But just imagine going into the crazy part

well of this picture. I mean that's the crazy part. But imagine going into a a police station and the chief is walking around shirtless.

Just not professional. I wonder what made him so upset. Eddie what what made him so upset? Is he's doing it all in like retaliation or something?

I think he's [ __ ] nuts. I don't I think we determined that he was just a huge [ __ ] Uh, and crazy. Yeah.

He's like, "Release the Epstein files. I'm going to shave myself." So, wait, what was the main thing he was accused of?

Uh, well, the [ __ ] but yeah, we kept saying that there was something else. I don't know. Keep watching to find out more.

Office here, guys. There was some capstone to this. That was [ __ ] insane. Yes.

Let me see if I can look it up real quick. Service. That's the goon station, bro.

[snorts] shaving his arm hair onto his deputy chief's [clears throat] desk. In another photo, broken glass after they say the chief lost his temper. But the accusations get much worse and include exposing himself to co

exposing himself. Get a load of this guy, huh? Hey, I didn't do nothing. The [ __ ] I can get past is the shading.

Yeah, I'm with you. Uh, Zach, the [ __ ] on the floor, I don't know, but the the body hair shaving is

somehow that's worse. So [ __ ] strange. I'm reading the article right now. He also was shipping dildos to employees houses

right? Wow. Right. He's doing so much. He's doing so much. And also very chief. He's the chief. He's in charge of the police, man.

Yeah. He was putting firecrackers under their chair. um dosing dosing people's coffee with Viagra and Adderall

and jabbing a needle into an officer's groin. Michael stab somebody in the dick stab was he stabbed someone in the dick

with a hypodermic needle. Oh yeah, he was stabbing people with a hypodermic needle.

It's a prank, bro. I crazy. I don't know how people showed up for work down. Yeah, it was it was [clears throat] really

funny. It's not working. The man [ __ ] on the floor, guys. What? That means his ass his pants were down and his ass he's just squatted in [ __ ]

So I I went I went through the lawsuit after this and that's the next link in the dock. So after this we can read through that where they really lay out all of the specifics and I could not believe what I was reading.

Is he still employed there apparently? Yeah. No, that's what this is all about.

Let me see if there's been an update cuz this was back in March. Let me see if he's been fired since.

He's still there, man. It would be insane if that's impossible. He did. He He did a felony. He attacked people with needles.

Yeah. Well, maybe it's still working its way through the system. He stabbed someone in the dick.

A dick stab. Uh oh. Busted. This is their website. You still northpol.com. Shout out.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I really want this as a workplace sitcom with him as the main character.

With him as the main character, but it would be so unbelievable. That would be like Reno 911,

basically. Yeah. Wait, no, hold on. There's got to be more info. I I refuse to believe that this guy is just continuing as chief. [snorts]

I'm not seeing any update news articles, though, so that may be the latest. Anyway, so that uh that was great. That was one of my favorites. You can watch that on members episode 101.

Yeah, become a member now. You can go back and watch it, too. Northbroken police officers.

See you next Thursday 101. Uh, the next one is discovering spoony tunes. Spoony tunes.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking is he was going to eat dinner. He has a full collection.

Oh god, the mustache. All right, are we ready everybody? Like me, I I believe in wearing like my watches. I don't watch them. I wear them, enjoy them. Same thing with Paul River. You'd be eating your frozen yogurt with the ball spoon.

I would make Lena bust it out. It's safe. All right, this is what uh started the whole conversation. Here we go.

Welcome to Spoony Tunes, one of the largest spoon related shows on Instagram. And boy oh boy, do I have a treat for you guys today.

Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] They're all so small. Wow. Oh my goodness. They look like baby boo.

This collection is so funny. Wow. Wait, why did I never see this before? Edition.

Why you been holding out on this? Holding out. Well, why did you film this? It sound like it was pretty well tuned. My Instagram show.

Wait, was this on your Instagram? Yeah, you just This is just This is like Saturday afternoon for Ian. Like you got to understand this man loves like antiquing and [ __ ]

I think this was just a story too, right? You never posted. It was just a story. It wasn't even a post.

Yeah, I just threw it. Crazy. Oh my goodness. Look at this. [clears throat] Wow.

Absolutely pristine condition. This is spoon and goon. That one looks beautiful. The green one.

I still don't like it. That's better. I was very shocked to see this very exhaustive spoon collection, you know, of all different. If

I remember correctly, he these were all obtained at the same time in one purchase.

Didn't they give it to him basically? Yeah. Ian is he's like a become an antique guy. He goes antiquing all the time and just like finds weird [ __ ] And last I was over at his house like I don't know a month ago

and it was museum like weird. I'm like what is all this stuff surrounded by all this crazy like

um you guys who were not members missed the several wonderful girl uh tea times we did

and this one comes from see you next Thursday 108 when a note is passed certainly poor she just had a baby

I know we did get a note uh oh is it bad is it good I don't know it says a siren is a dangerous monstrous uh creatures typically depicted as a half bird, half woman who lures sailors to their doom.

Yeah. Yeah. We said office siren. Yeah. So, we allow different corporate men to their doom.

I mean, we're not talking like Game of Thrones today. I don't know what you guys wonderful.

Thanks for the definition, though. It's boys. Thank you. That looks like Dan. That does.

I see Danny. I see Dan all over that bird. There's one where you guys burned the note.

Yeah, there's one where they burned it. And there was one where Olivia I think we told her somebody died. Yeah, she found out someone I think one of the

one of the actors. I was looking for that one to be honest, but I couldn't find it.

I thought the that bird looks like the bird one too. though. Um, Jace, now you guys don't know this, but telling you now. Jay Shetty is scared comes from a member's episode.

That's not good for you. I didn't really appreciate you. See you next Thursday. Thursday, uh, 97. We

You just never know, man. I realize how hard it is to make a good man. We did kind of recap this a little bit during the sound tournament yesterday. Um, but it's just too good. This is This all happened organically. It wasn't even planned. And Ethan just found this video and we started watching it and it was one of the hardest. I laughed all year for her.

You got to give him a little credit there. He just said cuz he just said he cooked for her.

No, wait. When did he say that? He literally said, "What did he make? Riceeroni."

Well, I don't know, but it sounds like he at least tried. Let me hear. You know what? I think this is actually the wrong time, but whatever.

I literally would be so good, too. Why? Do you know what? Last time I cooked for you, I did really appreciate you more afterward.

He said last time I cooked for you. It there's no details included on that. Okay. But you know

that's I realized how hard it is to make like a point there, right? Yeah. She didn't sound impressed. I'll tell you that. She was kind of like,

you know, but the thought she wasn't like, I love that, sweetheart. Cook for me more. No,

that mac and cheese sucked ass. Yeah. Mac craft mac and cheese. That made you appreciate my cooking? Oh, yeah. And you forgot to add the butter. Your [ __ ] sucks. You couldn't even follow the most basic instructions.

The right spices. Look at that. Uh, so effortless. Yeah, but I've been doing it for so long

in a large skillet. He He all [cough] jokes. What I don't understand is like they've never like, dude, are they actually married? Like, you've never seen her cook? And he's apparently has some extreme phobia of knives. And he's like, it's so scary. And she's like, why? Like, do you do these people know each other? It's so weird.

I hate him. I can see. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, I feel so justified, man. [gasps]

The oil over me. Have you got the oiling the oxygen? Oh, yeah. Remember that little arrow?

See those brown? Why did that happen? Oh, we were paring wall cow. That's Yeah.

Oh, we got to get more of those. We wanted to get more and you you said I guess they're expensive. That's a good one.

YouTube has a good one too about the No, they don't. Oh, fair enough. You distracted.

You too. It's a deep cut about uh How about Browneyed Girl? That's what I said.

Oh, is that what you said? Sorry. That's the girly with the brown eyes song. Don't you think that song's a little bit like despite having brown eyes, you're still lovely.

No, it makes me feel like, oh my girl. Yeah, he doesn't really get give off. You know, I have a confession. I just recently found out where this soundbite comes from

and now I know why. I'm looking at the background. I must have not been there that day

cuz the lights aren't on behind you guys. Oh, you were not there for the J? I wasn't there and I was like too embarrassed to ask at some point.

Wow. So, we'll go back and watch it. [cough] If you guys want to watch the whole cooking segment, which was a lot of fun, you can do that on CNX Thursday 97 coming at you. H3 show coming at you live. Uh Mario Kart tournament. This was a big one. This was a big one. Lots on the line here.

This was intense. Mhm. Now, Bowser's Castle. This is from uh Se next Thursday 115.

See, is going to present some interesting challenges for our racers. Um there's lava, there's fire, there's rock balls,

boulders as some people call them. Me. Now, this is just an example. Thank you, uh Olivia. Now, this is just an example of the luck that Dan experiences on a regular basis. He gets hit by a shell over a boost, and that's that's, you know, it just it is what it is.

That's life, man. Some people are born with it. That's life. This is Oh my god. What an epic epic blunder by

Did you see what I just did? Did you see what I just did WHILE YOU'RE TALKING [ __ ] OVER THERE?

Holy [ __ ] Blair Witch Project victim. Yeah. And I got passed and I immediately greenshelled them with perfect precision [ __ ] aim, bro.

Well, be that as it may, he's you're currently in third. And again, it's it's it's just anyone's hearing. We're in the final lap.

Watch what happens. Say what? You hear all this [ __ ] you're talking? Yeah. Watch what happens.

I'm not talking [ __ ] I was just I'm announcing what happened. You did. You crashed.

You got stuck in the corner. I mean, amateur hour. I don't know what to tell you, buddy. Practice more.

I wouldn't do that. And tomorrow's in last. [screaming] Love is off the map. Dan is off the map.

We have two colossal mis. What a misfire here. What a blunder. But Dan is still holding a classic blunder as I was.

Oh, watch out. Dan almost. No. Again. I hate this map. Watch this [ __ ] Love is off the map again.

Go. Let's [ __ ] go. Oh no. Oh my first place. Is in first place. I hit six. I got so I was number one there for a second.

Oh, [ __ ] Oh no. I can't believe this. Oh, Madonna. Sorry. So, there [clears throat] it is. Um, Dan's big moment. But if you want to watch the whole tournament, it's 1 15. See you next Thursday. And uh Oh, I actually don't. Ethan's most vicious AB roast of all time. Uh

oh. This one I didn't even specifically remember. I was just going through the members.

This is a quick site and I saw you know how YouTube shows you most replayed part

this. So I saw that this was this and I was like what what I have no idea what this is.

Watch this. No, I noticed if we want to I'm just saying just throwing it out there. We could put the traffic on her dress. I'm just saying we could we could change

Oh, that is interesting. We could combine if we want to combine the two or something. I'm just saying. I'm just throw it out there.

Ethan thoughts? I was enjoying this video. Okay. Well, we can continue to do that. That's fine. You want to just watch it normally [snorts]

like a normal person about the traffic or we talking about Alec? [ __ ] I don't know about you.

You had the shaved eyebrows and the black hair. Isn't Isn't that why your parents got a divorce? A

That was really good. That was make everyone happy. He's trying to make I don't know of you. Talking about you.

I'm trying to make everyone happy. Isn't Isn't that why your parents got a divorce, AB?

I love the arms in the background. I don't even know who that is back there. They're just like, "Oh my god,

that's so funny. I know anything about your relationship." Just kidding. No, they they told me it wasn't my fault.

No, they totally won. Of course they did. Of course it was. It was they were lying.

Don't let them don't lie to yourself, maybe. I of course. So yeah, I just had to throw that in.

That's a good one right there. Well, so anyway, guys, um, become a member, you know,

some good stuff over there. We're going to have a lot of fun. And like I said, coming into the new year when we come back, which again will be on the 19th, will be our first show back on the 19th, Monday of January.

Mhm. Um, I am going to come with some revamping of the uh members perks and not in a way that's better. Not I'm not taking anything away. I'm trying to make it uh more enticing and better. So So don't be afraid cuz it's

it's only going to be more engaging is the is the idea, right? Um well, I guess is it about that time?

I guess it's about that time. Let's see how long we've been going. Going three hours.

[cough] Let's see what else. I mean, dating and money we could check in on. Oh,

I don't know. Is this stuff good? AB, ask AB cuz I don't know how like extensive this is.

I I'm always just amazed by him. I mean, he recorded a date. I got to see that.

Oh, no. He recorded a date to prove he has spoken to a woman before. Oh, boy. [snorts]

I don't know how this guy even convinced this person to come eat a meal with him. Such a strange dude.

Why are we going to dance? Go try the fondue at Cantina Freda in Beverly Hills. Okay. Fancy.

Okay. A little plug. Here. You want to feed me? Put it in my mouth. Uh, but no homo. Okay. All right.

Is that where we ate from recently with the boys? or just melted cheese. I want [clears throat] cuz I got that same dish.

Should have added the sugar. A strange video. Why did he post this? Exactly, Dan. Like, there's only one reason to post this.

I got to say, this girl is quite strange as well. Maybe it's a good match. Like, the way she's just scooping and pushing around the cheese is very odd. Maybe it's a good match. [ __ ] I don't know.

You You could be the first to comment. Nobody's commented. Oh, wow. Probably. Why would he post that?

That's that. Yeah. Like, what is the purpose besides to show he was eating with a girl?

He said that's his sister. He was released that creatine. Oh, yeah. You haven't heard about this?

Guess what's in the box? Everyone's talking about it. That's right. Mother dating and money creatine.

What? Shut up. In the game. If you go to the gym and you don't take creatine, you might as well not even go to the gym to be honest. Guess what's in the box? Guess what's in the box? That's right, mother. Dating and money.

We got the highest quality creatine in the game. Is making this [ __ ] Wow. Who wants to look like dating and money?

Like Bradley Martin can sell me creatine, but this dude Well, he has an ad for it. Okay, good.

Uh, sus people are suspicious that it might have been made by AI Jack. Super Jack.

Get dating and money creatine today. What the hell? Oh my god. Get dating and money creatine today.

Like, you don't know anyone that could have just said that and done that for you? Wait, he was jacked before. There he's jacked and now he's still the jack.

And money creatine today. We have a We have one comment. Let's see what we got. Zero likes, one comment. Falling off. Oh, come on. Deaths. Husband, be nice. I just bought 10 kilos. Zohan. Zohan is also he's been a busy be. Uh he also launched a new cryptocoin which people have been really excited about. I know that um those who got in on the ground floor are making major moves

at the [clears throat] I believe a $3,000 market cap. That's pretty good. That's not bad.

Oh, come on. Come on now. One sec. Let's try that again. I become in the end. All right. Dating and money, crypto. Get your wallets out, people. Here we go. Let's show you that boy.

That is just bizarre, man. This guy is so strange. Um, so strange. Well, and let's just do the recap. I think we're out of stuff.

Uh, let me uh thank some of our uh donators before we go. Um, and also this was the cutoff, so don't expect your donation run read after this point

with peace and love. Peace and love. No more donations. No more donations will be read. Not 3:45 p.m.

Uh, okay. Let me go back to the beginning. Um, enjoy your break. H podcast. You all [ __ ] earned it. That's from Oddball. Thank you very much bro.

H podcast. This is your minute. You called it. Uh, that's from Habanero. What did I call?

That was at the beginning of the [clears throat] show. Maybe that was because uh we were late.

I feel like they were razing us for being late. Uh, thank you. New Year's resolution. Start the show on time.

That's from uh Emily. Well, it's not New Year's yet. We'll see. They said JK. They said JK people.

Love you guys. Seriously, enjoy a welldeserved break. Uh, peace and love. No homo, no pedto. Thank you.

No homo on no pedo. Thank you for the disclosure. Very nice. Uh, Pphanie, thank you so much for putting on a show and a time and again for us in spite of all the hardship. Uh, I'll be going to rehab for the second time in New York. And you guys have got me through some of my darkest moments. Happy holidays. That's from Pphanie. Stick with it.

Stop going to rehab. You can do it. Getting sober is the best thing ever. You got it.

One day at a time. Tom know I mean Tom is a survivor. And um you can do it. You can do it.

Once you're sober, you The thing is when you're addicted to drugs, you start to feel like

nothing is fun or exciting if you're sober and you have to be high on something all the time or nothing's there's no point in doing anything.

Not true. But that goes away if you can believe it. It feels like it doesn't, but it does. And then when you look back in whatever five or 10 years um you can't you you won't believe the person you be you used to be.

So good luck. Do it. Good luck. Don't let don't stop. Stick with it. Um so Russ is uh challenging me. Um it said no more donations, but technically he didn't he didn't leave a uh

he doesn't have a message. So he just sent $500. Oh my goodness. You can send messages. This is so mysterious.

Cheney. Well, hold on. You can send you can send money anytime you want. We just said

I just don't, you know, I don't want to set expectations here. Listen, if you drop 500 clams, we'll read your message.

Okay, I guess that's fair. Actually, though, unironically, Russ, thank you for being such a loyal and uh generous patron throughout the whole year. Not just to us, but to uh members of the crew as well.

Yeah, we really appreciate that. Very sweet. Very appreciated. Thank you, man. Amazing. Um, Drea said, "Dear Senna, all for want for Christmas. Is Ethan to be on time in 2026?" And then they put a giggling, laughing like this, Mojack.

Nah, we ain't doing that. Oh, no. Uh, shout out to Ela for being an inspiration for all the introverts of the world. Keep up the great moves. This from Big Lip Boy.

Big lip boy. Big lip boy. Thank you guys. Bring those big lips on over here, boy.

Give me a smooch. Just remember, if I can do it, you can do it. It's true. There you go. She was the shiest person I ever met. It was She was

sure. Yeah. I remember still is sometimes, you know. Yeah. And look where we are now.

But World Series of Poker. Yeah. Chopping it up with Daniel Negrronu. Negron's name is.

Mhm. Pretty cool. Uh Devin, hey uh can I get a hey girly from everyone for my 29th birthday? You sure can. minutes over the break and I'll miss my besties for the

Yeah, thank you very much. Happy birthday. Enjoy the last year of your 20s. Um, Turkey Club said Ethan doesn't mess with the sanctity of the final four. This may have gone differently for him. Oh, they're talking some [ __ ]

What did I do with the final four? I'm assuming they're talking about the sound tournament, but I

Oh, the how we did the brackets, mate. Oh, down to a final bracket structure. Interesting.

You guys are tripping the bracket. The way I did the brackets, I was happy with

I kind of like speeding. You don't have to circle back. Exactly. And like refresh on that mind. It makes sense. It makes sense.

It does get it gets really redundant at the end. You're right. Sorry, Turkey Club. You're wrong, but thank you for the donation.

Appreciate you. Your feedback has gone into the consideration. It's gone in Yeah.

Yeah. It's in the trash. Threw it in the trash. That's what we call the consideration. Tasty Stacks 420 69. Yo yo 424, dude.

You got to add 67 in there. It's not just about 69 anymore. No, there's a new There's a new epic number.

69. 67 is the new 69. 69. So true. Uh Dan, your black hat makes you look exactly like you have a Beatles style haircut.

H maybe. I guess their hair wasn't that short though. Little mop top. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. I've been stewing on it for weeks now and needed to share for weeks. They've been thinking about this. Uh, well, thank you, Tasty Snack. And I I mean, you know, I'll look like a beetle. That's fine. Handsome dudes.

It's kind of a Mo Howard cut. That's more It's too high to be Beatles. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take that, though. Mo Howard's a legend. Uh, Enter Chazman said, "Y'all taking a whole dang month off? Uh, what do you think you work?" Congress.

Yeah. Listen, to be fair, those guys those guys take way more than that. That was a good one.

You think those guys just take one month off of work? Yeah, they take more than that.

I think they take like six months off, frankly. Uh my uh Mark Dragon said, "My grandma didn't get run over by a reindeer, but she has hit a deer and she also literally ran herself over once. She's fine." Big ups grandma.

Big up grandma. Hang in there. Happy ending. I thought that was durable, strong, powerful grandma. Built Ford tough.

Built for tough. Yeah. Uh Liv uh said, "I'm mostly a silent viewer, but I wanted to wish you all a relaxing break, and I want to flex on my YouTube wrapped. I'm in the point top three.3% top viewer of the podcast."

That is that means you're a really big fan. 3% and and doesn't comment or chat.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you always watching. God bless you. Uh, Habanero Sriracha, a great uh, another great supporter of us, uh, says, "YouTube won't let me donate subs,

saying I've reached my weekly max." Is that you? I've never heard of that, but I've never heard that. How many How many How many has he given us?

You've done enough. You've done enough. You've done enough. Apparently, you you've done all you can. You've done all you can.

You've done all you can. Generous soul. And I want to give a special thank you to you because we've all appreciated your patronage and we're all very grateful. So, thank you to you as well. If you're in the chat and you got a gifted sub from another FUA trooper, send send a little thank you to one of our fine supporters that's uh that's keeping I I see people all the time um people are so generous with donating the gifted saying like I'm in my third month of uh being a member um just from gifts from other people.

Wow. Like that, huh? Yeah, it's pretty cool. Well, cuz they the system on YouTube is awesome. It gives you to it gives them to the most active

Yeah. If you watch a lot, you you are more likely to be gifted. Uh, so freaking cool,

which I think is pretty neat. It's not just a a random distribution, which means all the snarkers for sure have memberships to them.

But, you know, that's okay. Says they watch the joke. No, but no, no nothing. Nothing.

Well, I got it. It was not really like a laugh out loud thing. It's just too real.

Too real. Too real. It's just real. Yeah. Uh, Sutton Bassnet said, "Uh, family. My girlfriend Sydney is home for the holidays and I miss her so much. I was hoping Dan could simply wish her a wonderful Christmas time." No, don't make me do it. I'll wish her a wonderful Christmas.

Time. Why you time? Cuz I don't like I don't [ __ ] with that song. Yeah. gently.

If you're singing a song, you got to include the obnoxious uh Yamaha actually sounds.

Yeah. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Now, I'll be honest with you. I sat down recently and listened to the whole thing after

it goes on a little long, dude. It's so obnoxious. It goes on a little long. It really is not a good song. I'm sorry. Love, Paul. trying not trying to hate but obnoxious Christmas song.

I'm going to read one more late donation but it is the grape tickler and he said okay this one still counts. See you later fam.

Well thank you great tickle you next month. Tickle you next month great grape grape grape

appreciate you. The great grape. Uh Sappa for show said hi Vivian. Hi Sammy. My hometown H3 fam. Hi Viv. Hi Sam.

Hey friends. The Spike dude say, "Uh, hey Vam, as of yesterday, I finished my, uh, MSC's, Masters of Science thesis about quantum memory."

I could use some quantum memory. We could, we could all use a little quantum memory. I wanted to thank you guys for being in my ear during my long lab hours. Would love a Joker church from Zach.

Oh. Oh, that's a little bit of a deep cut at the Joker church. Yeah, praying at the Joker church. Thank you so much, Spike, dude. Um, let me keep going. Happy 25th birthday to my wonderful girlfriend Ila. We're listening live and packing to go to Yusede for the weekend. Can she get Zach's choice of sound bite? There it is. Choice. Love you all. Break.

Coming at you live. Coming at you. Dealer's choice. December 18th, 2025. It's sunny.

Here we go. Here in Los Angeles. Drum roll, please. Hey. Hey. Hey that one is good.

When I'm speaking, I'm my back is turned right now. I imagine I'm hitting all of you. Hey,

that is good. That is good. All right. Longtime viewer, wishing amazing crew and youthful and host uh youthful host. Oh, they're talking about you Ethan.

Thank you. A restful break today. December 18th is my 25th birthday. So, I want to spread the love. Uh you help us laugh during these tough times and I appreciate you family. That's all from Erica. Thank you so much.

Thank you for the donation and the kind word. Hold on. Rich Lux in the chat. $100 rich

but no rich don't don't be rich. He said the real song should be simply having a wonderful Hanukkah.

Oh yeah that's what's up. Speaking of which from Rich Lux is always riding for us. Rich, you didn't have to give us $100. That's outrageous. Don't waste your laboo money on us.

Yeahoo girl. Taylor Luren, we have to get him a Christmas present now. Hold on.

Okay. Nice. Okay. Good idea. Good idea. Shout out. Get you something. Rich OB24, uh, speaking of Hanukkah, said, "Happy Hanukkah, fam. May we all get 8 days worth of olive oil for the price of one.

It's a bargain. It's just a good deal. It's a good deal. It's a good deal. And I, you know, not to lean into stereotypes but

that's what I wrote. We love a good deal." Um, AH3 team, first- time donator, longtime watcher here. This is a $50 donation from JH. Uh, longtime watcher. You got uh, love you guys. Wanted to send you a ton of gratitude and love from my boyfriend Ethan and I. Oh, another Eth.

He was in the most recent Teddy Glow shoot. Wait. Oh, Ethan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. We met him.

Uhhuh. The guy said it was amazing. Yes. We just posted him today. Super nice. Very, very nice guy.

Absolutely stunning. If you guys haven't seen it, check out the picture. It's on Teddy Glow. Um, so you guys know with some of the backlash with the with the models not wanting to be in shoots, um, a lot of fans reached out and so we're slowly starting to work with more fans and this was one of those cases.

Oh, that's awesome. And this is Ethan. He was great. His name is Ethan. Ethan. He I mean he must be a model, right? Like an actual

No, not professionally, but I think he's going to start doing it more. He said,

let me pull it up. There you go. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I think we just posted these

and What a sweet, beautiful. Oh, and that same donator followed up with a especially Tamara, Dan, and Ela. Us three specifically. Hey,

nice Ethan Alexander. Well, shout out Ethan and shout out to JH. Thank you both. Um, Richard Hannley, uh, donated $50 said, "Dan, loving the Mega Man shirt." Shout out. Uh, wanted to give a shout out to my buddy Justin, a huge fan of the show who developed a fanmake Mega Man game called Mega Man X Regenesis. Okay, check it out if you have a chance. It's a juicer Mcuser for show. Guante, thank you, Richard Hanley.

Look at that. That's it. Potential Mega Man lead there, huh? Snow the Guante. Show the Guanter with a $50 donation. I'm trying to get through as many of these as I can. Tyler, hey crew, could I get a hey girly for my friend Marshall in Seattle? He's a bike messenger and watches live while delivering for years. He's like 67. Yo,

so please don't make fun of his freakish circus height. Uh, we won't make fun of Ethan makes fun of short people.

No, no, you can be too tall. Oh, okay. Never mind. It gets weird after like six I mean 67's pushing it. 6'8 for sure is where you starts to get a little bit weird. Marshall is on his bike right now on the streets of Seattle having to take this.

Maybe don't ride a bike if you're that big. It's kind of freakish. It's like a moose on the road.

Kyra Savage said, "Wanted to close out the year by giving thanks to H3 and this beautiful community, amazing people. I'm 6 months sober tomorrow." Congratulations.

Nice. And having this show truly helped in making it easier to accomplish. Love you all. Have a wonderful break. H3 forever. That's from Kyra. Thank you.

Thank you and congratulations on Friday. We we keep getting questions about the car wrap. Do you want to give an update on that?

I don't know what's the update on that. I think the update was that we decided it's not

the guy right here. Love is No, I don't think it was decided that we were doing it.

Yeah, there was like there was a back and forth with the shop. I think Love decided

he won all the attention. I was told that it's not driving people who aren't fans of uh the show. Well, I don't know if

I guess maybe getting credible death threats will change your mind about wanting to advertise your location to the world.

Maybe he should get a fat love tattoo. That's I like a tattoo. We could put it on the arm or somewhere they can't see it. Yeah.

Just all over his body like we were going to do the car. Just like wrap his body in fat loves.

What if we just got to make good on that somehow cuz people don't. Yeah, the rap the rap is dead. I mean we we got to do something. Yeah, I guess I I I knew there was also was struggles with the shop. They were like dragging their feet for a long time and this whole annoying thing.

I don't think that's the reason. I think it's safety issue. That's That's fair. That's fair.

So then should we Okay, so I Well, when we get back, let's remember to circle back to that game. We got to We got to do something for the people.

Yes, I'll note it. Um Drake Smith said, "Been a quiet fan for years. Just want to express my gratitude to Ethan Ela as well as the crew for showing up every week and being there for people who need a little escape from this crazy world.

Thank you. You're welcome. It's my pleasure. It's my honor. It's my privilege. Uh okay. And Robert Nihan just donated. I know I said I wouldn't, but it's their birthday. It's my 34th birthday. 34th birthday on December 22nd. Can I get a special shout out uh special sound bite, Zach? And a happy birthday. What your ass going to do?

Happy birthday, Zachie. 2026. I'm hopping off. I'm I'm hopping off, bro. I swear. I'm hopping off it. I've been bouncing on it for too long. Just [ __ ] spinning on it, bro.

I know that. Who spins on it? On it, man. I don't believe you, by the way. Huh?

I don't believe in hopping off Spotify. Wolf. Yeah, we'll see what the rap is next year. Unless he drops an album, then I can't, you know,

I think there's a chance it might happen, right? Nah, they're teasing something. Do you see all this [ __ ] they're teasing?

They're teasing their businesses. They're doing like a project three. It doesn't matter.

Their business project three. Who cares about that? He cares about it. No, I don't.

Well, he does. Well, then don't. But just keep that [ __ ] to yourself. Don't tell me.

I'm here for the music. Uh, okay. Last three. I'm just going to power through these three. Live 27. Matt said, "Ethan gave me insane clout at work. Apparently, Daron from Boythro is huge in India, and I surprised my Indian co-workers when I knew who Darawn was."

Nice. Very nice. You learn that's important knowledge learning on the show. And then Ashley Farmer said, "I love you all so much. I recently lost my grandma. I've been uh making it through laughing with you all. I hope you all have a relaxing vacation and I will miss you all. Peace and love." [cough]

Thank you. And sorry for the your loss. Um, but I'm glad you're doing okay and uh I appreciate the kind words. Thank you so much.

All right. And finally, Messy Mermaid says, "Happy holidays, fam. I'm so proud to be such of an part of such an incredible community. Love you all. Can I get a soundbite from our queen Ela? Pretty please."

A soundbite from Hilla. A soundbite from me. So, I don't know if that means from you or you're picking one. I'm not sure.

I think it means play an Ela soundbite. Giant [ __ ] Whoa. Good one. All right. Thank you to everybody who donated. If I didn't get to your message, I apologize sincerely. Um I tried to get through as many as I could, but um we're out of time. It's the the time is here.

We are out of time. It is the end of the year, the end of the road as we round off this year. It's been a crazy year, I got to say. And I want to offer my heartfelt gratitude to all the friends, all the all the fans, all the audience members who stuck through this. You know, tough times. It's not been an easy year to be a H3 podcast uh viewer. Sure hasn't.

But try being an employee. But uh you know, that's the beauty of the new year, right? We get to we get to wipe the slate clean

and make a new go at it. And that's what we're going to be doing in 2026. I'm excited to get some rest and come back and do a whole another great year of shows. But anyway, I just want to thank you all so much. Really, genuinely, I wouldn't be able to deal with all this [ __ ] if if I didn't have your guys' support.

Absolutely. So, I would have been gone. So, uh enjoy the holiday. Get some rest. We have this um Don't forget we've got the uh highlight reel we've got here to play us off.

Oh, yes. Don't Don't close the window yet. Surprises throughout. And um so I'm going to play that, but I just want to say thank you guys. We all love you. Happy holidays. Happy New Year.

And don't go anywhere. We're going to be back. Yeah. Don't go start watching other podcasts off.

Literally just [clears throat] sit where you are right now for the next Don't I'm serious. You know what I mean?

Yeah, me too. Don't [ __ ] around, you know? All right. Listen, I hope you guys enjoy this high highlight reel. Thank you all so very much. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Happy holidays. Happy New Year. See you tomorrow. Here we go. Yay. Hello. Hello. Hello, everybody. Happy holidays. Here we go, ladies. You ready?

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bell swing and jingle bell ring. Snowing and blowing and bushels of fun. Yeah, now the jingle hop has begun.

The most terrified I've ever been. Whatever you have in today, we're going to be talking about H3.

How is that criticism? You think it's boring just so there was a podcast that I was ON WITH

IT. COPY MY WHOLE [ __ ] FLOW. WORD FOR WORD, BAR FOR BAR. OH, NO. We are back, my friends. Thank you for standing back and standing by so patiently. [screaming] That's right. It's been over two weeks. The H3 show has been on break and um you have all been waiting patiently for us and I thank you for that. And here we are in 2025. We made it.

If the wind was blowing this way, our house probably would have burned down. I am no longer Ethan. Jeff was supposed to come cut my hair today and he delayed until next week and I'm just like broke. Oh my god,

I have. So you heat it up and it just I mean it prolapses out and it does as someone who's seen a prolapse many times. OJ, have you ever seen a prolapse? I'm not from the Lego cast to be honest. This is going to be my first as well.

Has she been anti-dy? Yeah, he got her fired from Oh, see Wendy, she's right again. She hit him with the diddy dong diddy don diddly dong done it again.

Oh no. Um by Oh Nate. Oh my god. Congratulations Nate for Nate and his beautiful lovely wife and their lovely child.

At the courthouse baby shotgun wedding. It's one of those Las Vegas things. Almost the Las Vegas thing.

That part is devastating. When he carves Brooks is here in the Yeah. And there are babys.

We're relying on you to stay alive so give more views on the news. Yeah. I'm going to I'm going to stream it. I want to begin by stating I take responsibility for infringing the content nuke.

Reality can be whatever it wants. This is our new dog. Her name is Alder. Huge and she's 7 months. She's a puppy and she's big. Creator Clash 3 influencers will pay. Well, it's not AB this time, but it is an AOD for a

my new move. One time. One time. Let's go. Let's go. Son of a [ __ ] did it. 2025 the first champion of the year on over to H3 show. [singing]

Alexis is a hero of the H3 nation. That is beautiful. Did you see it? Yeah, we saw This is what happens when you [ __ ] with the juice. You got a sneaker full of gapilta fish. [ __ ] spicy. Don't kill it yet by me later.

Oh, top of the morning to you ladies. Today we are coming to you. It is 2025 the H3 subathorn and it also happens to coincide with St. Patrick's Day.

Yes, I love Tesla. Oh, boy. All right, let's get to the thing back that we did not want to to ever see. We got something special for you. It's something that I hate to depart with. I absolutely love to depart with all your buddy.

But it's only right, Ian, that you take this with you. Thank you. I wanted to keep that so bad.

You understand? That's one of the best things we've ever done on the show. Well, we felt like it wouldn't be right.

Thank you guys. Still got it. You still got it. Thanks. [clears throat] My time has come.

Some breaking news. Your your old friend Idubbbz just released a video. Yeah, it's about you.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. Oh my god. That is the No, it can't be. Well, it actually can't be. Holy [ __ ] dude.

It sure is. Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] This guy went associating with people calling CPS on my family.

Check the description. Like, bro, what kind of cowardly [ __ ] is this? Like we have one disagreement where I get upset cuz you guys aren't defending me publicly after everything I've done to support you guys and like you you bring on people who are [ __ ] denims and frogan who did a [ __ ] anti-semitic tier list and you're platforming them and co-signing them. Lena's fighting in your fight, bro. Like what the [ __ ] are you doing? It's actually [ __ ] unreal.

Pretty wild. Oh, great. You got psychology in Seattle. My 10 out of 10 perfect apology. Fine. I'll be at my side.

failure to acknowledge the trauma of both groups is the reason why you are a radical [ __ ] propagandist liar. Both trauma needs to be acknowledged by both groups. There's two things that need to be true for this ever to be resolved peacefully. Palestinian self-determination and Israel's right to have secure borders. As long as you ignore that, there will always be war. Palisian will always die and you will continue to make money from it.

Dan, he needs you more than you need him. Stop babying this man. Please. He needs you more than you need him. Stop babying.

Well, I know that's true, but I don't baby him. Come on. Okay. All right. You did it again, James. You pushed away the one guy who actually gave a damn about you.

What are you doing? Hello. Hi. Hello, girl. Thank you for your uh information. Shut up. [screaming]

Big announcement here, guys. We have a new crew member. This is the Morgan from Jeff

Morgan. A brilliant Mara the goat. The goat. We should say too, Jamara also that um animation that we play whenever Ethan goes to the bathroom. She also came up with that. For all you know, camera. Look at him. He's a good horse. He smells very nice. Okay. [screaming]

Okay. All right. We got to go. Mom and dad Gary. Yeah. Special guest Harley. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Dylan Burns is girl with a microphone. RICH LUCK. HELL YEAH. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS is a bit right now. This is all real.

It's just afraid. Oh my god. No, everybody. This is spooky. Oh, there she goes.

Good girl. Good girl. You guys, we got another dog. I love Chief. I love him. Like monster truck. No, that would

play. Oh my god. He's hit the trigger. He could play that way if he wants to tie.

Daddy, you tell me a bedtime story. What's his deed? My guy. Okay. You know what? I was in a little bit of a rush. I was in a little bit of a rush. WOW. [screaming] UM, KIRK, did do you believe the Holocaust happened?

I don't get into any of that either. Wow. Because uh fighting is a very hard whether you're fighting MMA, boxing, whatever. It's uh very hard cuz you're getting beat up constantly and then you're supposed to show up to the gym the next day and the next day and the next day. AB can attest to it, right? So, it's mentally very hard. Shut up. Feel bad.

[ __ ] you're going to miss the days when I sat on the fence. So, are you are you leaving?

Yeah. Are you leaving? I would love to stay if you'd have me. I would love to fight this war to the end. Even Even if you next day woke up and did become the worst person who ever lived just to [ __ ] piss them off. I would love to stay. I would love it.

You guys also Amy and Lena, I hate this [ __ ] country so much. Such a first world problem, but it is emblematic of all of America's much more consequential violence. Okay, it's the same reason as to why America Ka, please just [ __ ] go. My dog's generated this shitark,

you know. Pay for my whole visa. Got me like she's getting off a place. She's scared of shark.

Got to stay in that little place for 8 hours. She getting up. I can't allow her. [singing] Okay. I would say you're

Guante

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "My Final Episode"?

Ethan Klein (Host), Gabe (Guest), Dan (Guest), Ela (Guest).

What is "My Final Episode" about?

In the final episode of the year, the hosts reflect on a chaotic 2025 while announcing a month-long break. They discuss their experiences, including humorous remarks about the recent Keemstar incident and share lighthearted banter about the challenges of the past year.

What is mentioned in this H3 Podcast episode?

22 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Ethan Klein, Gabe, Elvis Dan, Christmas, Idubbbz, Keemstar. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "My Final Episode"?

The episode runs 3 h 33 min; the transcript is about 39,751 words in 1389 timestamped sections.

More from H3 Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.