Transcript

Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!

From Handsome Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 5 min · 11,487 words · 340 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!", an episode of Handsome Podcast published February 10, 2026 (1 h 5 min, about 11,487 words). It mentions 9 people, works and ideas, including Paula Pell, Atlantis Morissette, Province Town, Girls5eva, The BBS.

What this episode is about

In this engaging conversation, Paula Pell and Handsome explore their most amusing and cringe-worthy dating horror stories, sharing personal anecdotes and insights into the often chaotic world of romance. The discussion highlights the humorous side of dating mishaps while also emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and resilience in navigating relationships.

Key takeaways

  • Checking car insurance first could save you hundreds—unlike figuring out your smartwatch on a walk.
  • Province Town: where personal freedom meets gourmet dining—paradise is a matter of taste.
  • Forget Valentine’s Day plans; how about concert tickets? The love songs and memories are the real gifts.
  • Tech fails during concerts? Ironically fixing a ticket situation is more stressful than attending the show.
  • Atlantis Morissette's concerts: from sold-out to available in seconds—a reminder that hope springs eternal!

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Province Town, Allstate, Atlantis Morissette
  2. – 20:00: Netflix, Inc., Claire Danes, Allstate, O Positive
  3. – 30:00: Paula Pell, The BBS
  4. – 1:04:44: Allstate

Notable quotes from "Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!"

  • Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart.
    about Allstate · at
  • Oh, you know what? Okay. Her website is atis.com. That makes sense.
    about Atlantis Morissette · at
  • It's been announced that we're doing the Netflix as a joke festival with the cast of the Hunting Wives. And yeah, with Mini and Britney Snow.
    about Netflix, Inc. · at
  • Oh, at the Netflix Golden Globes party, Claire Dne was there and she was dancing up a storm.
    about Claire Danes · at
  • Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Today's episode of Handsome is supported by O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company that offers a range of…
    about O Positive · at
  • Today's question asker is an Emmy-winning writer, producer, and actor who wrote for SNL from 1995 to 2013. She played Gloria in Girls Five Eva and stars in the new comedy The BBS on.
    about Paula Pell · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Paula Pell — Person · Question asker / featured guest voice · 1 mention · first at
    Introduced as the episode’s question asker; she asks about worst dates and is discussed as an Emmy-winning writer/actor and as the writer of a film Fortune is currently filming.
  • Atlantis Morissette — Person · Referenced musician / concert target · 1 mention · first at
    A recurring topic as the hosts discuss buying tickets, her website/domain, and a VIP meditation add-on; used as a comedic through-line about fandom and logistics.
  • Claire Danes — Person · Referenced actor · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in passing in relation to a film the hosts watched and a sighting at a Netflix/Golden Globes party; not central to the episode’s main discussion.

Companies & orgs

  • Netflix, Inc. — Company · Incidental · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in passing in the context of a festival.

Places & events

  • Province Town — Place · Setting · 3 mentions · first at
    Described as a beautiful mosaic of cultures and a popular destination for vacations.
    Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Who's planning a trip to Province Town this year? Province Town is a beautiful mosaic of cultures where everyone is welcome. For…

Media & podcasts

  • Girls5eva — Media · Referenced work · 3 mentions
    Mentioned as a show one of the hosts wrote for.
    Today's question asker is an Emmy-winning writer, producer, and actor who wrote for SNL from 1995 to 2013. She played Gloria in Girls Five Eva and stars in the new comedy The…
  • The BBS — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a show one of the hosts stars in.
    Today's question asker is an Emmy-winning writer, producer, and actor who wrote for SNL from 1995 to 2013. She played Gloria in Girls Five Eva and stars in the new comedy The…

Sponsors

  • Allstate — Company · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at
    Primary sponsor of the podcast, mentioned multiple times with promotional language.
  • O Positive — Company · Sponsor · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a sponsor offering women's health supplements.

Full transcript with timestamps

This is a Headgum podcast. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you know how to use your smartwatch before going on a walk. I'm in trouble. I promise I'll return your text as soon as I figure out how to make this thing work. Yeah, check in first is smart. So, check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary. subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Who's planning a trip to Province Town this year? Province Town is a beautiful mosaic of cultures where everyone is welcome. For many of us, the definition of paradise is summertime in Province Town. It's all about freedom, sunshine, and a chance to be ourselves.

I was lucky enough to visit Province Town last year for the very first time, and I cannot wait to get back. It's such a beautiful natural setting and the town has amazing food and a great atmosphere. If you like dining, dancing, entertainment hiking biking beaches glamour, and an overall unique experience, you will love Province Town. It has everything wrapped up in one destination. Whether you're planning a solo getaway, a romantic excursion, or a big family vacation, Ptown has fun in store for you. They've got amazing theme weeks for everyone LGBTQ plus as well, including Pride, Girl Splash, Bear Week, Family Week, plus Carnival and Trans Week. From Boston, hop on a fast ferry for 90 minutes. The fairies run from midmay through mid-occtober. For more info, go to ptownourism.com, the official guide to Province Town.

That's ptownourism.com. Handsome friends on the handsome pod with friends on the handsome pod.

Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm your host May Martin joined by your two other hosts who are

Fortune Feminster and Tigotaro. Yeah. Hi you guys. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello y'all. Welcome to um I don't know. It's Valentine's week.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I see how May is celebrating. How? How? What do you mean how? You have your uh window completely open for the world to see.

Come to my window. Yeah. Look. Oh, there's Melissa Arage. Now, I'm inside of the moon. I had that piece of fabric hung up there and

it was so good looking. It was so sketchy and you made fun of it so I took it down embarrassed. So now but now I left up the little patches of tape where it was hung up.

Much better. Yeah. And you have your guitar case in the corner as if you're going to sing a little diddy to someone.

I wish next time we're all together in the studio I should bring in the guitar and we'll do some songs. Please do one now.

Well, cuz I don't have a mic stand. I I like to hold it in my hand. That's what she said.

Ah, who said that? Who said that? Who said that? She did. She did, girl. Is she your Valentine's Day?

I don't think you don't have a Valentine's Day, do you? Well, whoever she is. Oh, she

Well, well, one thing is last time I was at Largo, the tech guy there um does guitar setup for Atlantis Moriceet and he said that she's in Sacramento on February 13th. And as as you hear this, I'm scrambling trying to get tickets. I'm texting people. I'm saying, "Please, what can I offer anything?"

Wait, why can't you buy a ticket? I was going to ask that. Yeah. Wait, that's a really

I just assumed you could just buy one. Yeah, why wouldn't you buy a ticket? I assumed it was sold out. I think it sold out.

Oh, okay. Well, that's different. Why don't you look right now? Okay, let me check. Hang on. Let me see.

Let me see here. Hang on. Yeah. Oh, man. That was a good concert. And not just because I sang as part of the concert.

Yeah. Yeah. I just Googled Atlantis Sacramento. Uhhuh. Okay. Atlantis Mor. Is that February 13th? Yep. That's a

Tickets available. Um accepting Oh, there are tickets available. Wait. Okay. No scrambling needed. Buy a ticket and support the woman.

Oh my god. I'm doing it literally right now. Wow. Can I do it while we're Yeah, why not? Walk us through it. Well, you might have to find Are you going to buy two tickets and ask for one?

Yes, I am. Oh my god. I have a great idea. What is it today? You should invite Atlantis. Okay. There isn't an ironic they're expensive. I'm going to

I'm gonna do this. You're buying them right as we speak. Well, yeah. I'm literally doing it right now. I have to cuz there's very front row center.

No, there's not. They're not left. So, but there's like ninth row. Uhhuh. Pretty good. And And you know,

ninth row is great. She can belt it out. So, yeah. She can sing. She was amazing. God, it was good. Fortune.

Yeah. And this time you can go with somebody new. Oh, you're you're busy or I will be doing shows

on stage with Atlanta. I'm performing at the Beacon on Valentine's Night. Um in New York City.

How do I How do I know if um I'm getting This is a scam website. Uh why is that where you want to be? Well, you want to don't don't buy it on like a um third party site. Buy it from her website.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Go to atlantismorset.com is what I'm assuming it is. Of course, Fortune knows stuff like that.

I would just Google like Atlanta's tickets California. I did people are googling right now. New York City Beacon Theater Fortune on Valentine's Day.

Okay, guys. I just typed in Atlantis Morset. It says the domain name alennismoret.com is for sale.

No. No. We need to let her know. Buy it. No. We should buy it. We should She should buy her own. Do you think she knows it's up for sale?

This is not at all where I saw this episode going. Oh, but I feel like we need to help Atlantis.

How much does it cost? Oh, you know what? Okay. Her website is atis.com. That makes sense.

Oh, she didn't. She's like, I don't need my last name. Everybody knows who I am.

God, if I Right. But why would that still be for sale? But you should also own Atlanta's there's VIP tickets available. And it says

you got to get them. Share a special moment with Atlantis who will lead. Oh, it's the it's the meditation right?

It's meditation. Who will get it? They will lead this exclusive group in a meditation and answer selected questions.

What are you talking about? That's I have to do this, right? Wait, you're going to do that for you and a friend?

It's too expensive. How much? I know. You got to buy yourself the VIP and your friend has to wait for you outside.

How much is the VIP? $1,200. That's a lot of money. And and and I have met her before.

My VIP is 165 and that comes with the ticket. Yeah, it's like great. But are you leading a meditation fortune?

I'm not. That is pretty special. I would pay 1,200. I would totally pay that for

fortunes meditation. I wouldn't pay it for my meditation, but I'll pay it for meditation cuz she's like a she's like good at she's like a guru with that stuff.

Yeah, she is very wise. And is she still vegan, Thomas? We should also tell her morset.com is for sale.

So, why do we tell her? Why don't we buy it and then she has to buy it from us? You know, we're going to make some cash. You may you buy the website and then I'll trade you

for a VIP ticket or I'll tra No, I'll trade you. I I want to sing. I But still not for your friend. Your friend still has to wait outside.

I got the idea. We buy the site. May puts a bunch of different videos of uh singing Atlanta's songs. So she will

Yeah. So she will finally see that you got them piped. turned 98, you won the lottery next day.

I think this is the part I was singing. Yep, it is. And now you know the lyrics. You had to Google them that night. Let's not get into

nervous. I was nervous. I I mean, I'm going to have to do this after the podcast cuz it's like sign into your ticket master account.

You need to think about it, too. Do it now. Thomas said, "Alanos refers to herself as about 80% vegan. Does that count?" My eyesight is so bad. I saw that she's been a vegan since the8s.

My brain just went uh 80% vegan. That's pretty good. She's doing the best she can. She's helping.

I have no judgment. I was just curious if she was still uh good. Don't judge my girl.

I wonder if that means I love your girl. I know you do. As much as I love Carrie. Go ahead.

I wonder if she'll be in Oh, Carrie Russell. Yeah. Do I really have to? I mean, she's carry.com.

Yeah. Okay. I wonder if that means that um Atlantis will be in LA before that and maybe

does she not live here anymore? We This is a great idea. We should spend the episode speculating.

Just speculating where she might be before and after. And then we end episode with Happy Valentine's Day everybody. Oh man. But you guys,

what's wrong with us? You I mean, Fortune, you are basically friends with her at this point. You have some sway like if one day will you

But I don't have her number. If Okay, if we were dating, you and I, Fortune. Oh, you and I are dating in the scenario.

And it was Valentine's Day and your your friends. Thank you. Um, but would you would you motorboat Fortune?

Of course, it's Valentine's Day. I'd have to push them together. Go to YouTube. But fortune would this rack.

Fortune, put those down. You're going to break your back. Look, that's how far down they go that I can go.

Oh my god. What? What? May. Sorry. Would you um if we were dating and you wanted to make me feel special, would you reach out to Lannis and say, "Hey, May really wants to sing with you." Or could you?

Probably. Yeah, I would find a way. Yeah. Yeah, you would. See, that's why you're such a catch.

Love finds a way. I'm a catch. Love finds a way. Love finds a way. Fortunately, it looks like you have a Star Trek.

I know it does. I thought about that, too. It's just a little polo guy. Yeah, but when I put it on, it looks like your uniform.

Well, not mine. Mine's uh kind of yellow gold. What it was? Wait, you you froze for me also in the That is my job. And don't

do not make any fun of what I do. No. Oh my lord. Fortune Marie, you need to go lie down. No. No. Fortune. No. Uhuh.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Uh, no. No. I got to say, we are I think it's

not a catch. It's been announced at 4:00 a.m. today. What's up? Go back to sleep.

How dare you go back to sleep. You're acting like a beast. May, what were you going to say? I'm sorry. T interrupted you.

I don't know. No, please. Please come back. May come back. I like it when you guys beg me like that. What if I go like this?

May, please. May, turn back. Turn back. May, turn back around. Come on. Don't tease us. There you are. There's that pretty handsome face.

Um, it's been announced that we're doing the the Netflix as a joke festival with the cast of the the Hunting Wives. And

yeah, with um Mini and uh Britney Snow. I didn't know this, but I'm not. No, Stephanie watches that show.

But I was just watching fortune you watching you do your, you know, go down on your hand and and I was thinking this is dangerous.

Why do I not have this information? Why don't I told you? You probably didn't pay attention.

That is so rude of you. You know, I don't miss anything, not even my part in an animated film. Well, I think that this is going to be um it'll be like a special a thing that we maybe we'll air we we could probably air it if we wanted to.

Um not like a live stream, but as a pod, but I think we're actually going to have them sit down and chat with him a little bit.

Chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Chat with friends on the handsome pod. So when we But then we'll also ask we'll also have them ask a question, but we're gonna also chat with them because they did have a lot of lady sex. I know. Well, this is what I'm worried about. Fortune, you got to rein it in. I am worried about your decorum with these professional ask. You need to stay home.

No, this is when you ask these questions. It's what the people want. It's It's like the actor studio but with lesbians.

I'm going to have some really hard-hitting journalistic questions and then I'll let I'll let you ask. Uh

well, in Swedish, so people that listen in Sweden will really want to tune in. I can't wait to invite Stephanie. She loves that show.

Do you think she has any lesbian questions for them? They're not lesbians in life, but they did a really good job going down on each other.

This is what I'm worried about. Like that we're going to be like, "Oh, should we ask them for tips about their their sexualities?

Should we ask them for tips?" Um, I'm good. Maybe our audience or maybe our listeners can help us think of fun questions for them as well.

Yeah. Fun or disgusting. I need to binge the rest of the show and then in the camera into your camera.

It's literally on the camera. Hold on. People pay good money for this show. They don't. It's literally free. That's why they have to listen to ads.

Yeah. that they love that they can fast forward through. But don't don't don't don't do that. You need stop fasting.

You get good deals. We got some good deals on things. I just watched uh Britney in that in that really scary one.

Oh, wait. Which one? With the psycho killer and um Claire Danes. Oh yeah, that was a good one.

That was really the beast or something. The beast inside of you. Yeah, we're talking a lot about beasts. Oh, at the at the Netflix Golden Globes party, Claire Dne was there and she was dancing up a storm.

One Dne or two? Claire Dane. Did I say Dane? Yeah, you said Dane. No, I meant Danes.

Oh, I was like, okay, I feel like her last name is Dan. I think I said Danes. No, no, no.

She was dancing like crazy, like booty dancing, like all up in it, like super into the music. And did you get in on that?

No, but I was in the circle that she was dancing in. Rashita Jones was also dancing. We were all just

like dancing. And did you say, "Hey, could could you do a handsome question?" No, I should have. We really

Let's Let's do it right now. Let's just get you on camera asking us a question. I I have a a a thing on Sunday with somebody that I'm really hoping I can get a question from that is kind of a big one.

That would be awesome. It's It's not kind of. It is a big one. Is it? Mhm. Is it

Obama? No, it's it's like basically that level. Whoa. Is it Oprah? Is it Oprah?

No, it's that level. Okay. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Who else is that level of Oprah? Because we Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Obama, McCartney.

Uh, ALF. Al. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's exciting. That's a tease. Well, we'll see. We'll see you guys.

Yeah. Um, does are you is anyone excited for Valentine's Day? Good transition. Checking I'll stay first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make some time to binge that new reality TV show. You're going to regret it. Now I'm having lunch with friends and I don't know the details of that spicy love triangle between Bobby Megan and Bobby 2. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check All State first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Today's episode of Handsome is supported by O Positive. O Positive is a women's health company that offers a range of best-selling symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond

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I used to hate Valentine's Day. Mhm. Not I'm not really that like into it now obviously. But um

What do you mean obviously? Why obviously? Yeah. It's not obvious to me. It's not obvious to me.

I don't know. Oh, it's just another It's just another one of those Hallmark holidays.

Oh, yeah. But who cares? Why not take the moment to celebrate? That's true. No, I'm happy.

No, it sounds like you're being negative. No, I love No, I love love. All right. I love you, too.

Um, but growing up, I had I probably had a chip on my shoulder about it because I never had a Valentine. Mhm.

And um and so you know when you weren't with somebody that a day like that felt poopy.

Yeah. Watch your mouth. I didn't have Valentine's either ever. You seem like you would have been like a little have a bunch of girlfriends in like high school or junior high.

No. Oh. Oh. I didn't know what was up with me yet. Mhm. My face and my outfits knew, but I didn't.

Yeah. I feel like if you don't have a Valentine and you should just find any kind of like a dog or a kid.

Wait, what? Wait, why a dog? What are we t Why a kid? No. What are we talking about? Oh my god. Yeah, I need to explain this better though. Yes, please.

Oh my god. All ears, weirdo. Oh my god. Weirdo. Oh my god. I was just I Okay, this was my call. Find a dog.

Dog or cat? If you don't have a date, find a dog. Oh, no. My thought process was that when I was in in school, like my dad would make us feel really special on Valentine's Day and it would be like fun games and balloons and stuff. So, like if if you're feeling sad and lonely, just make it special for

a dog or a kid and it'll bring you joy. I know your dog's going to be pumped about Valentine's Day.

It was weird. I didn't have anyone, but now I have a Valentine. Oh my gosh. My cats are going to sleep right through it.

Yeah, they won't even know. Exactly. You got to wake them up. Sausages. You got to wake them up.

The only flowers I was ever sent in high school was from my brother. He sent me Valent He sent me flowers.

What's going on there? Wait a second. What is What? Nobody has a normal Valentine's Day.

He was being nice. He sent flowers to me and flowers to my mom. That's nice. And was here.

They're yellow. It's friendship flowers. Was he already at college and stuff? No, I think I was in ninth grade and maybe he was a senior.

Is yellow friendship flowers? Uh-huh. Huh? Yellow is for friendship. What are white?

Uh, love, I believe. Triple X or what is white? Peace and love. Motorboating. Red's romantic.

White is motorboating. White flowers means motorboat. My brother, he was probably like, "Oh, she's she's not going to have a Valentine's. Let me send my sister some flowers."

My brother always sends me FL. Not always. Valentine. Relax. I didn't have a Valentine in college either. I was a real loner.

I didn't go to college. There you go. Yeah. I didn't have one either. Yeah. I don't think

we should have dated fortune. I know. Why didn't we? I don't know. It's crazy. I bet you had male suitors, didn't you?

Yeah. When? In my teens? Yeah. Anytime. Yeah. I had male suitors, I guess. And and then 16 plus I had I had girlfriends and boyfriends.

Oh, yeah. Cast a wide net. Do you think if you guys had met in high school or college and you know when you don't know any other queer people and you're in a small town, you just think, I guess we'll date. Like you guys might have dated.

D. I can confirm that we didn't date. Um, but I think we would have been friends.

We would have been friends for sure. Been like, "Check that chick out." Uh, and I'd be like, "What? Are you gay?"

No, no, no, no, no. I just SHE'S MY BEST. SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND. YEAH. YEAH. T and I met a long time ago. We we we were we're both into feminine women.

Mhm. No, I know. But you know when you don't really know that yet and you're and you just meet a queer person and you think, "Well, I guess I'm just in love with this person because you're like recognizing things about yourself, you know?"

Wait, how about those mysterious people from your childhood, from junior high, from high school that you're like, I know what like looking back there's something up with them.

Yeah. They're married to a man. Oh yeah. Children. I know several of those. I know. Where you're like

where I'm like that person's 100o gay. Yeah. Like wow. You're still sticking with it. There is this one woman who I met like when we were like 20 or something. And I was like, "Okay, where is your girlfriend?" and to this day still never has a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Wow. Straight as an arrow. She's missing out. Well, claiming to be straight as an arrow. It's so fascinating. There's like Yeah. a long list of people through life where you're like,

"Wait, she needs to try the Just try the lady train." You know what I mean? I know you mean

get a ticket. Take a take a ride. It can be one way. It could be round trip. Yeah. Yeah. You can hop on, hop off.

Yeah. Like May does. May hops on, hops off. Yeah. May does whatever they want. Yeah. I mean, and with everything.

Mhm. No. I If I My life would look so different if I did whatever I want. Oh, yeah.

Like you might have a curtain. Yeah. I would have a curtain. I would Oh, I'd have like exotic pets, you know. But I know you're not allowed.

What kind of exotic pet? Koala. Well, you'd probably start dating it cuz it's Valentine's Day.

Just I can't just grab a dog or a um a koala. Yeah, I'd have a koala. Yeah. Snuggle in my lap right now. Can you imagine? I go look guys. We don't need to see your

We don't need to see your lap. Whoa. Look at my leg. Hi, YouTube. May is showing their crotch. I need some eucalyptus if you had a koala.

You know that. Oh. Oh my god. Finally, an organic mayactly. It's been forever. Okay. Uh, koalas are actually a

I love that. That's on your desk. Tag forever. Um, I said forever. Say forever. I'm assuming.

I don't know if that's on going to be there. How dare you? Um, koalas are allergic to eucalyptus and yet they eat it all the time and that's why they're so sleepy all the time because they're actually they can't digest it very well.

Oh, they're dumb. They also all have chlamydia and they also have I didn't know that.

Yeah. And their fingerprints are indistinguishable from human fingerprints. Whoa, that's weird.

And also their favorite artist is Jennifer Lopez. Every single koala loves Jennifer Lopez.

Loves JLo. Mhm. And Razer Blades. Mhm. Well, sounds like a very exciting Oh, I know it's We talked about it last week, but it's Tig's anniversary.

Mhm. On Valentine's Day, Party Kisser on the list. Party Kisser. Are you going to do anything romantic?

Well, Party Kisser got pinned down, you know. Um, but am I doing anything? No. Uh, I feel like there's something that's going on on Valentine's Day where I can't be with my um special.

Oh, you're not together? We're We're rarely together. Oh, no. I am home on Valentine's Day and then

you got to plan something special. The Independent Spirit Awards are uh the day after and we were nominated for best documentary. So, I'll be at that. So, I will be home, but I

in the morning. Well, I'm going to be home on the 14th, and then the 15th is the award. So, I I don't know what the 14th holds.

Y'all will make You should go to some overnight oats. Mhm. I'll meet you in the kitchen for some overnight oats, my love.

You leave instead of flower petals, you leave a trail of overnight oats, granola, blueberries.

Yeah, that's that's romantic. Maybe you'll wear your night gown for her. Yeah, maybe. We'll see. Or maybe I won't wear my night gown for her.

Oh, girl, now we're talking. Finally. Yeah. Sexy. Uhhuh. And I feel like uh May still has a few days and they could end up with a date for the weekend going to this concert.

I'm going to go to the concert regardless. And then um Yeah. Or maybe I'll meet someone at the concert.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna set I'll set up a a Valentine I Valentine's Day is a I I was proposed to on Valentine's Day. It kind of ruined all future val Valentine's days for me.

Well, no, you need to reframe rewrite your Valentine's. Don't cry cuz it's over. Smile cuz it happened.

That's right. We'll be right back after this commercial break. But should we get to our question?

I feel that way about you saying that quote. I feel like don't cry because it happened. Don't cry.

Oh, what is it? Don't cry cuz it's over. Smile cuz it happened. Yeah, you're smiling about me saying that

about saying that. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Look how I smile. That's beautiful. Thank you. Um, let's get to our question asker.

Today's question asker is an Emmy-winning writer, producer, and actor who wrote for SNL from 1995 to 2013. She played Gloria in Girls Five Eva and stars in the new comedy The BBS on Peacock. Paula Pel is asking today's question. Woohoo. Paula is very funny. Paula is actually who uh wrote the movie I'm filming right now. Um Paula wrote it with her wife Janine Bridto and uh they're very very funny and Paul is a very amazing actress as well.

Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Let's hear it. Hi hilarious hunks of handsome. It's Paula Pal. Thank you for having me. I love this podcast so much. Here's my question I'm posing to you. What is your absolute worst date you've ever been on? Just like a full diaper from beginning to end.

A full diaper. Oh my. A full diaper. Diaper. That's funny. I've not heard that phrase. A just a full diaper from beginning to end.

I'm trying to think what to share. I feel like I don't go out on a lot of dates. I feel like I meet people

and then we figure out we like each other and and then you're dating. Then we're dating,

right? But even if you just like go out for dinner with someone you're dating, that counts as a date.

I mean, my most awkward dates were definitely like early on. Um this this was uh the time of Craigslist being a hot spot. Do you remember these these days? Did you end up in married threesomes?

No, I've never been in a threesome. This is not a threesome gal over here. Okay, girl.

I Craigslist was like this would have been Well, because I came out in 2005, you know, I was like a late bloomer

and Craigslist was very popular at the time for like finding like sports teams or dating or whatever. Like it was a very um the the community was active on there. And then, you know, eventually someone ruined it by murdering someone. It happens every time. But for a couple years, you could like if you wanted to do anything social

if you wanted to get murdered. Well, we didn't want that, but sometimes, you know, just happens. Mhm.

Um, so I had joined some I had come out and I would join some sports team was trying to meet

I was trying to meet gay people just for friends and then I was trying to like get the courage to go on dates but I had no game. I did not know how to talk to women. I was so awkward and I went on Craigslist and started emailing with some people. But this was also no pictures. It was all just like women seeking women and you just put traits about yourself.

Oh my god. And so I went on a couple dates via this and they were terrible. Oh my god.

Terrible. I think I went on three dates to three different women. Total blind date. Like

total blind dates. That's brave. Barely knew anything. And I had we had Zilj in common. All three of us.

Yeah. And these were three very different women. Very I mean it the first one I was we met for coffee and I was so nervous. I like she had already gotten her she was kind of nerdy and she had gotten a tea and I sat down and spilled her tea everywhere on the table.

Oh god. So like and you already know out of the gate I don't want anything to do with this person.

You can I mean she's thinking the same about me though. Like there's no chemistry.

But I couldn't stop saying the word gay date. Like I was like, I've never been on a gay date. Have you you go on gay dates?

This is this is a a very interesting gay date. And I was like, WHAT AM I DOING?

WAIT. And you weren't being funny. No, I was not being funny. I was being so awkward cuz I was I had never been out on a date.

This is my first date with a woman. Did you have your Star Trek shirt on? I did not. But, you know, that was what sucked about coming out late is that these are the awkward things I should have been doing at 16, you know.

Yeah. And I was having to do them at like I don't know, this was 25, 26. And um

the dork. I was like, this gay date. Wow. Pretty crazy going on a gay date. That's so funny.

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was too long. And then I met another one at a bar, like a lesbian bar, and she seemed really into me. And I was like, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I I was so scared of women. I couldn't I just couldn't I was not ready.

You were like, whoa, she wants to motorboat me. Yeah, but I was not ready for that. And there was I we didn't really have chemistry either. And then the other one I think we I think we met at Chili's.

Why are you laughing? You'd still do that now. I would do it. I would do it now.

Why are you laughing? Oh my god. We just split triple dippers and uh That sounds good.

So the date wasn't, you know, we weren't compatible, but man was the triple dipper fantastic. But

I just was such a bumbling idiot for a couple years until I finally just got, you know, like you just have to practice. It takes just like doing it.

Yeah. But those were the most awkward and and when you when when you're meeting like that, it's so not organic.

Yeah. You know, you're putting two like totally mismatched people together and just like being like, "Okay, here you go." It's different, I think, when you like,

you know, go online, you're talking. I don't even know if we talked on the phone really. Like, we just like went out, which was such a mistake. And then I did another um a couple years later when I was more comfortable. I

kiss her. I know. A couple years later, I went on Matt. Did you kiss any of these people?

No. No. No. No. You just like peeled out and like home going, "What the hell?" Like, what was your conversation to yourself? couldn't get out of there fast enough. All three.

And then I went on I was never really much into the apps or whatever. Mhm. I just um preferred to try to meet people in person and uh this one um I I finally went on the app because I was having a hard time meeting people and um I emailed only two women

um and they uh and I met them both in real life and then found out um within a couple weeks of hanging out just as friends that they were dating each other.

No. Mhm. They were currently dating each other. They were currently dating each other. They had met on the website.

Oh, but what's the website? Matt I mean like match.com I think and they but they both continued to stay on

they were triple dippers the website. And then I and then um Yeah. And then I was like And so they were like we just want to be they would each were telling me they wanted to be friends and I was like why are you on a dating site? Yeah, it was so weird to me. Um why like

I hope they broke up of course a couple months later they listened to this podcast now by the way

for sure they regret one of them I did ask out after they'd broken up. I mean they were they dated like 3 months. It was like nothing. And I think I asked a couple months after that if she wanted to go out and she was like no.

I can't believe you asked me out. And I was like, "Oh, that tone." I know. She seemed very Yeah. like very offended and then like hit on a friend of mine. I was like, "Okay, this is

I had I had a couple years of just bad luck like just drama early 20s fumbling through.

I would like girls that didn't like me back and or they were like confused about their sexuality. I just It took me a while to really get in get it right like as far as like starting to have good dates. Yeah.

Or were they maybe like turned off by gay date coming up all the time? Well, I didn't do that again. That was the first I just did it on the first one.

But yeah, take I just think that's what's tough about coming out later is because you want to, like I said, be be doing this awkward stuff.

Mhm. In your teens. Like that's when you want to be um going through stuff not when you're like 25 to, you know, late 20s. Well, yeah. I feel

then it feels worse. Yeah. And I feel like honestly it kind of there's like sometimes a rested development vibe.

Totally. In that in the community because people have not experienced Yeah. Yeah. At least now with the apps, you can get so specific about what you're into. You could you could put

Well, now I'm a grown ass woman and Oh, okay. Jeez. Um, I'm now I'm Rico Suave, right?

Yeah, you are. Yeah, absolutely. I've come a long way. That was 20 years ago. So,

I uh was a baby gay, as they call him. I'm thinking of the the date that sprung to my mind is um it was my birthday and I was I was living in England and I was living with my girlfriend who was closeted and so I I had like a little cupboard under the stairs that we would pretend was my bedroom like Harry Potter.

Adorable. I can't It was like it was literally a tiny It was a quarter of the size of this office I'm in now. And it just had a single bed and it was just so if people came over we could be like, "Oh no, May sleep sleeps in there." Like

you sleep in like a little You sleep in like a little match like a Barbie dream house.

Yeah. And so it was my birthday and I I'd started to be like, "Okay, you got to start telling people now." And she and like the pressure was on and

it was a sore spot. Anyway, she brought me in the rain to way out to like Richmond, way out side of London, like an like really the outskirts to to walk around a garden. And I slowly realized that it was just cuz we wouldn't bump into anyone we knew there. And then also she got tired and so she made me tell them that she needed a wheelchair. And so I pushed her around I pushed her around this garden in the rain in a wheelchair while and I was like

this is the hottest thing I've ever heard. I was like, "This sucks." And then sounds awful.

Oh, it was awful. And and uh wait, where did the wheelchair come? And why could she not walk? Y'all are young.

We were young. She was just tired. She was like And I need to pull that sometime with Stephanie. And then and then we went back to our apartment and then she was like, "Oh, my friend's coming over, so can you like not be weird?" And then I was like, "Okay, well, I wanted to take a bath." And she was like, "Well, that'll be weird if you take

You love a bath, though." Yeah, I love a bath. Anyway, a bath, too. I love you, too.

And then the other bad date I could think of that actually. Wait, can I ask a followup real I want to hear this one,

but did y'all last much longer? We were together three and a half years and and only a handful

and she was in the closet the whole time pretty much. Yeah. I mean, everyone knew our our friends, but they were British people in their 20s, too awkward to say anything. I was like,

this is Yeah. I mean, I should have got I'll be honest, I don't know how I missed how the wheelchair ended up. Um,

she just got tired. They just had spare wheelchairs for, you know, the elderly and stuff at at Q Gardens. You could rent them. and uh she said, "Can you go and tell them that I'm I need one and that you know I have a leg problem or something?" And then I I went and got one and I was I just remember pushing her around being so tired and it dawning on me that we were out in the middle of nowhere so we wouldn't bump into it. Yeah.

You know, that's interesting. Um, even though this isn't what you were saying, I just had this memory that my first girlfriend, she um would want to hold my hand and I was so uncomfortable that I would um I'd limp when she held my hand. Like

really I would act like I needed her to help me. Oh, so she wouldn't holding your hand.

Yeah. Dig. Oh my god. Oh, her little internal homophobia from back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So glad to be far from that. I know. I know. I was I was very very uncomfortable.

And then what was your other one that you were going to talk about? The other one it actually ended up being a fun weekend, but it was with an ex of mine. We went up to Big Bear and I and I was like crazy about her and we're we're in the car. We got up to Big Bear and it was like day one and I she said something like, "Well, we should probably talk about where this is going." And I was like, "Yeah, great. I wanted to go everywhere to the moon and the stars, baby." Yeah.

And she was like, "Oh, well, I'm not really sure what I want." And I it and then I was like, "Fuck, we have this whole weekend now." And I'm like visibly shaken by that, but I'm like, "No, I'm going to be cool." And I'd rented this Airbnb and it was the middle of winter and snowing. And uh we got in the hot tub that night and it was night time and we locked ourselves out and it was snow and the and we're in the hot tub but the the Airbnb was 45 minutes from anywhere and uh oh my god and we're in our bathing suits

but we had our phones so we called the company that ran the and they said well we can have someone to you in about 90 minutes or something but the roads were so icy people were like

and so we're just freezing but also The chlorine and the bleach in the hot tub that we were in there for hours and when I got out my black bathing suit was bleached like almost orange.

Oh wow. And the guy the guy showed up and he'd forgotten the key and he had to take the whole front door off its hinges to get us in

and then put it back on and then basically the next morning we woke up and our skin was like cracking dry. It was the biggest boner killer. We had to go to CVS, buy as much moisturizer as we could. You would have loved it.

Did you at least put the lotion on each other? Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure we did.

That I mean, you could make a, you know, make something with that. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a terrible weekend.

Especially that was lazy and wanted to sit in a wheelchair. Well, the wheelchair was

That was a different act. Different act. I know. But that is just like you and like push me around in a wheelchair. that you had to pretend that you lived in a Barbie dreamhouse under the stairs.

She was a real character. There's more stories there. Oh, those aren't the only two.

Did you draw from some of that for feel good? Cuz wasn't that character in the closet?

I did a bit, but um in Feel Good, I made you really root for the relationship, I think.

And in real life, I don't think anyone was rooting for Everyone's like, "Okay, it's time to move on."

Yep. as she's rolling around a wheelchair outside. I'm exhausted. Just cuz she's tired.

An exhausted sausage. Tig, what about you? Well, yeah. So, you don't go on many dates, but

No. But you you probably asked Don't yell at me. Fortune. I would you should be someone who had the confidence to ask some girls out.

No. My god. No. I didn't ask girls in LA. No. even in Colorado. Oh my gosh. Th this girl in LA, she was a standup writer, producer person that I just like would meet. I I you know, we just became friends and we really like enjoyed each other. Oh my gosh. I um I never want to overstep or make somebody uncomfortable.

Yeah. Uh and I don't like to assume anybody is attracted to me. Like I it's it's crippling, you know.

Yeah. Um and um she and she had never been into a woman before. Um, and uh, we hung out and was she she lived in this apartment in Santa Monica

takes care. I'm just It's so hilar because we're still friends and she's, you know, she's great. It's just so funny to think back before we knew each other better. And so she had me over. We went to her the roof of her apartment in Santa Monica and it was like,

"Yeah, so want to come sit with me on the swing?" And I was like, "Sure." And and I'm like, "Is she into me?" Like I I just didn't know what was happening. And so we're like swinging. And then she's like, "Well, it's it's getting late. Do you want to spend the night?" And I was like, "Um," and it was, to be fair, it was very late. Um, but I mean

it's not like I couldn't drive back to Hollywood from Santa Monica, but I was like um sure.

And, um, so I stay I She makes up the couch for me. Okay, that is confusing. Then this is mixed signals. Yeah.

Well, I think I probably had something to do where I was I pro I could imagine this is you made up the couch.

I probably was like I could sleep on the couch. You know what I mean? like I was trying to like probably get ahead of things and

so I'm like on her couch and she's in her bedroom and then uh you just hear this voice go um um Tig and I'm like yeah and she's like are you comfortable on the couch?

Oh man, she wanted you to come in the bedroom. And you probably went Yep. Yeah. Okay. Oh no.

Oh my god. Oh my god. So nothing happened. Putting it out there. No, I mean we ended up like hooking up, making out, kissing, like um

that night. Yeah. No. T was not picking up on anything. Yeah. It's like you have to absolutely

just kiss you. Yeah. Yeah. It it because there's no world that I will um do that.

Yeah. I just I was pretty bad about that too. I never knew if someone liked me.

Yeah. I think I've mentioned a story also about this girl that when she was done with me after we had

she was done with me sexually or No, she was she was so done with me because um it just it just it was not happening

and um and then of course it it created that situation where where I became more interested in her.

Yeah. when she was less interested. And uh one time I stopped by her house, I think I mentioned this on the show, wearing the shirt that she always would tell me I looked cute in

like Yeah. And she uh Yeah. wasn't having any of it. It didn't do it. No. No. But but we're totally pals still. Yeah.

I we haven't really ever talked about that about you on the sofa. Yeah. And it it's also I mean like we're both married with kids and like rarely see each other. I think it's been like

10 years since I've seen her. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But um anyway, that was uncomfortable

and I was fully to blame. Tig, are you comfortable on the subway? Yeah, everything's good.

Yeah, I Yeah, I I definitely had some awkward like phone calls where I like liked someone, but I nothing was ever happening and I it would just drag out and drag out and drag out and finally I would just call them and be like, "I like you." And they would be like, "I don't like you like that." I'm like, "Okay, okay, bye. Okay, bye." Oh, wrong number. God, my 20s were a mess.

But once I hit 30, I found my stride. Yeah. But man, those 20 those 20s wereof.

Yeah. I I Yeah, it's rough thinking back on my life before. Oh my god. I'm always like, my apologies to everyone. My apologies. I just

I was just not great at things. Wow. It's a weird thing. Some people are good at it and some people aren't. But then eventually you found your your right person and then it was so easy, right?

Yeah. I mean, God, so easy. But it's also um I don't know what I was going to say. H Oh, I know what I was going to say. It's so impressive though, Fortune, that you felt that way and you still put yourself out there. Like I didn't I I didn't ever do that at all.

It was so hard. I mean, I was like, you know, my stomach was in knots. Yeah. But still, that's like true bravery and like strength because

it is because you're you're so full of fear and insecurity and you're you're like, I'm still going to put myself out there. I what it it had gone on where we were in this weird like in between for a bit where I couldn't it part of it was I just couldn't take it anymore

like the not knowing cuz I was my feelings were continuing to develop and and I I had this like run where I liked a couple of not at the same time but I liked a couple women in a row that unrequited love thing.

Yeah. And I don't I couldn't get out of that pattern where I just was like falling for these people that just nothing was happening. And

um and but I I was developing feelings and I just got to the point where I was like I have to I have to like find out because

um not that I I won't be their friend, but I need to know so that I can put my energy elsewhere if this isn't going to develop. So yeah, it was basically just after a while of me just not wanting to feel that like awful in between anymore.

And now you and Tig are such good friends. So look at us. We made it through. I was just slept on my couch.

I was also I don't know how I ended up on this coffee date with a girl. It was right after it was in 2012 after all the hell I had been through and and she was like, well, there you go, Fortune. She looked like a version of Jennifer Aniston, you know,

and um but she was so deeply boring. I like I I was I was truly staring at her like

how on earth are you choosing these words and sentences and I I was so confused. And um after our our coffee she texted me that was so nice and I was likely and then uh she knew that I had a show that night and she texted me before the show saying have a good show and I was like uhoh. And then Yeah. And then at night when I was in bed, I got a text from her saying, "Sweet dreams." And I was like,

"Oh my god." I I I called her text. I called her textifer Aniston. Um but um I was just like, "No, no, no, no." And uh and that was actually a story I had told Stephanie before we got involved. And then when she and I exchanged numbers, she texted me at 11:00 that night and said, "Sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams. She's so good at those call bags. Yeah. Yeah, she's good. But anyway, I can't even imagine the the awkward stories people have about me.

Oh my god. Wouldn't it be nice to hear what people say about you? Well, it makes me think I would love to text um that friend, the comedian, writer, producer. What if it was Paul?

Yeah. Um, no. That um that that went on with all those years ago and just be like how hilarious. How hilarious. And what are your memories of that? Yeah,

that would be funny. Anyway, uh let's hear Paul. Yeah. After my divorce, I went on a date. Someone fixed me up with someone. I had moved to LA and they fixed me up with this girl and I was all excited. I got a blow dry and got my nails done and I was all nervous and I got ready early and sat and waited with my purse in my lap like I was waiting for church to start and I was waiting for her call cuz she had a meeting at at like 7 and was going to be done ready for dinner at Caners at 8:00. We're going to have a little deli meal all excited and she just kept delaying. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Cuz I kept having to check in. Hey, are we still doing this? I'm so sorry. I'm walking my friend to his car. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm talking to my friend. He's going through something. I'll be there very soon. I'll call you. Finally, about I'm not kidding. Two hours go by and I'm like, if you want to cancel and we can

do this some other time. I had completely melted all my all my beautifification. And she said, "No, no, I don't have my car. Can you pick me up at this corner and we can go to go uh to a bar?" So, I picked her up. We went to the bar and started talking. She was really nice and we're laughing and talking and she proceeds to tell me that she went to dine with her friend she was talking to that delayed the date at Caners where we were supposed to be going.

What? And she thought it was funny and she was just telling me like, "Can you believe it? We did that."

And I was just like, but I had very low self-esteem at the time. So of course at the end of the day I was like, "I hope she still wants to make out with me." Which she did not. Oh my lord.

God dang. Paula, you don't deserve that. Is Paula in a relationship? Happily married.

Oh, okay. She remarried. Yes, Paula remarried and is so happy. Oh, good. How long has she been with her wife? Her new her new probably not new.

No, they've been together for a bit. I don't know how long, though. Yeah. But they they seem like a great fit.

Oh, that's awesome. The nerve of that date. Yeah. To be like so funny. While you were waiting, I went to the place we were going to go.

That's so rude. That's so silly of me. Yeah, I did ask someone I thought I asked someone on a date once. This is again back in my 20s

and um it was one of those outdoor um movies. This was like and a bunch of my friends were going. I was like, "Oh, this is the perfect like first date like we can kind of get to know each other." So, I asked this girl and she brought a date to

That's like Mike Burbiglia. my um girlfriend's boyfriend. She I had I like sat there and had to like entertain her date like like she's like fortune's so funny and I was like God what am I doing with my life? Those kind of moments of truly where you catch yourself in a mo where you're like,

"What? How did I end up here?" Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, that is so funny. Um, I'm excited for the Paula Pel's movie with you in it, fortunately.

Yeah. When does that come out? I mean, we're This is the one we're filming now, so I don't know. Wow. Well, as Paula

Paula and Paula and her wife Janine wrote it, so Oh, amazing. They wrote it together. They're both uh really fantastic comedy writers.

That's so cool. Yes. It's so great. And they live on a farm as lesbians do. Wait, in real life?

Yeah. Really? Like with chickens and stuff? Cows? They've got She invited me. It's in uh I think it's in New York. Somewhere in New York.

I can travel. All right, we'll tell Paula you want to go to her farm. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's my big dream in the in in the end. Oh my gosh. But it's my big dream is I want to I want to start an animal sanctuary.

I could see that for you. And to go back to wheelchairs. Yeah. I want Bring it full circle.

I mean, I would love to have an animal sanctuary with animals that are like in wheelchairs,

like three-legged donkeys and stuff. Yeah. Oh my gosh. do it. I bet you that is I mean that's what I want in life.

I love that for you, bud. Thanks. I love you, too. Well, awesome. Um, what do you guys That was so fun. What do you guys have coming up on uh

Well, Valentine's Day, right? Yeah. big New York City, Beacon Theater February 14th, and then in March I have San Diego, Oklahoma City, Fyville, Arkansas, Little Rock, Arkansas, and um a bunch of those rescheduled dates like Toronto and

uh San Antonio, Portland. I'm so sorry I had to reschedule again, but I'm coming. I promise. I'll be in Tucson, Fan, uh, Santa Fe, Ventura, California, Mterrey, Los Angeles, Charleston, uh, West Virginia Cincinnati Chattanooga Knoxville, Keane, New Hampshire, New Town, Connecticut Portland Maine Redbank New Jersey, Bellingham, Washington, Brooks, California, St. Louis, Bispo, Albany, New York. Peaksale, New York, Clayton, New York. Do you do Oh, this is when I can go see the animals. Rochester, New York. There you go.

Callisville, Montana, Spokane, Washington Eugene Calgary Omaha Oklahoma, all of those places. I will be there. tignotaro.com. Looking forward to it. I'll be with Amy Burkeman, the speed painter, opening for me, raising money for good causes, including for animals. Um, that's what I'm up to.

All right. I am tomorrow night. I'm at Largo in LA trying out my new hour um before I go on tour to all those cities. Then uh February 26, Oklahoma and the 27th Houston and Dallas and go to mayartin.net. Um it's selling out, but there's still some tickets available. See if I'm coming to your town and uh I can't wait.

Subscribe, rate, review. Also, subscribe to YouTube so you can see fortune touching her knockers.

Yeah. All right. Share an episode with a friend. And um I mean, it's really That's the noise they make. I don't know what to do.

No, I know. I used to have those things. They're still They're still bouncing in the dumpster.

But yeah, it's a wonderful community of people. Just a sea of handsome merchandise at the shows. It's so wonderful. You guys are the best. Yeah.

Yeah. You're so so great. Awesome. And until next time, what do you say we uh keep doing?

Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking how long it takes to bake sweet potatoes. Not so smart. The rest of dinner was ready long before those potatoes were done. So now we're enjoying them for dessert. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook Illinois.

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Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!"?

May Martin (Host), Fortune Feimster (Host), Tig Notaro (Guest), Paula Pell (Guest).

What is "Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!" about?

In this engaging conversation, Paula Pell and Handsome explore their most amusing and cringe-worthy dating horror stories, sharing personal anecdotes and insights into the often chaotic world of romance. The discussion highlights the humorous side of dating mishaps while also emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and resilience in navigating relationships.

What is mentioned in this Handsome Podcast episode?

9 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Paula Pell, Atlantis Morissette, Province Town, Girls5eva, The BBS, Netflix, Inc.. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Paula Pell and Handsome share dating horror stories!"?

The episode runs 1 h 5 min; the transcript is about 11,487 words in 340 timestamped sections.

More from Handsome Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 12, 2026.