Transcript

Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome

From Handsome Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 24 min · 4,478 words · 127 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome", an episode of Handsome Podcast published January 9, 2026 (24 min, about 4,478 words). It mentions 6 people, works and ideas, including All State, Fortune, Mariana, Chief Thunder Bear, Gina Davis.

What this episode is about

In this episode, hosts Fortune and May Martin welcome back their beloved pet, Biggy Bear, sharing heartfelt moments about their reunion and discussing the lovable quirks of their furry friend. They also offer light-hearted tips for creating the perfect romantic atmosphere at home, emphasizing the importance of thoughtful lighting choices.

Key takeaways

  • Good lighting sets the mood; don’t let your overhead bulb crash date night—switch to lamps or candles.
  • A new car can feel like freedom, but always narrate your drive—safety first, confidence booster second.
  • Pomeranians lose teeth like humans but stay spry, proving age is just a number, not a mood.
  • Insurance savings can be substantial, but remember: not checking could cost more than a romantic ambiance.
  • Year of the Horse symbolizes progress; let those 'big dick' vibes propel you forward—trust the universe.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: All State, Chief Thunder Bear, Fortune
  2. – 10:00: Mariana
  3. – 15:00: All State, Mariana
  4. – 20:00: Fortune
  5. – 24:18: All State, Fortune, Gina Davis

Notable quotes from "Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome"

  • Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart.
    about All State · at
  • Welcome to the Handsome Pods pretty little episode. I'm Fortune.
    about Fortune · at
  • Hello, handsome. My name is Mariana. I'm a first-time caller, forever listener.
    about Mariana · at
  • I think didn't Gina Davis get become an archerist. Is that the word?
    about Gina Davis · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

Companies & orgs

Full transcript with timestamps

This is a Headgum podcast. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that your overhead lighting is off when you're trying to create a romantic atmosphere. Let's do better. If you're having a date night at home, go with a couple lamps and not the big light. Or better yet, candles. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check All State first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook Illinois.

Pretty little episode. Hello. Welcome to the Handsome Pods pretty little episode. I'm Fortune.

I'm May Martin. Hello. Hello, May. I don't know if you want to start off the bat with this, but we also have a special guest today.

Oh my god, this is huge. It's Biggy Bear. It's Biggie Boy. Go to YouTube. Look at this angel who's back in your arms.

He's the best. I haven't seen him for a little bit and we're reunited and it feels so good.

What was the reunion like? Um, he was since it's been a minute. He, you know, he kind of out of sight, out of mind kind of guy. Not going to lie,

not gonna pretend in his heart, but he was like he was like that when we would like take him to like a sitter or something,

right? Uh, whoever's feeding him has his heart, you know? Yeah. And but as soon as I got home with him, I he was like running around and like pumping my arm and

Great. Yeah. I'm like, he's back, baby. He's back and he's horny. Well, I can't I can't wait to see him hopefully soon.

I know. He like snuggled up to me. Um he's the best like cuddle buddy to sleep with.

Yeah, he is. I bet. like little but he just like snugs up against you real sweet.

Yeah. And I always people ask me about Biggie a lot and I always all the time and I always say you know he's he's more solid than you'd expect. His little legs like he's you can hug him. He's like

Yeah. He's not a fragile. He's n pounds but he's st a sturdy boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He is getting older though. He only has four teeth now. Oh my god. Is it two on top, two on the bottom?

Yeah, his like little the long pointy ones. Those are the only ones he has. Oh man, it would be bad if it was like three on top, one on the bottom.

It's so weird to look into his mouth because he used to This has only been in the last like year and a half that he's started losing all his teeth. We had to get him some pulled, but um but I guess it's like common with Pomeranians and he's 11 or 12 now. We're not sure. So, he's older.

It's crazy that we lose our teeth as a kid and then again when we're old. But he's full of spunk.

Oh, debatable. He's not dead eyes. You stop. No, he's not. I've never thought he was. There's always a twinkle. He's like like uh like Santa Claus.

He's not dead eyes. I have my friend Joe visiting from England. So, my I've put this bed, this sofa that is always in the background. It pulls out into a beautiful bed. Look at that.

So nice to have my buddy here. Oh, that's great. You got a full house. You got your house guest in the back.

Yep. Your buddy here. And I saw that you have a new car. I mean, this is huge. This is, you know, on the main pod. I'm sure by now we will have talked about it. But yeah, we are currently recording like a week after I got my my car and I don't even have my license yet. I and I wasn't able to test drive it because my my I'd have someone else test drive it because um Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You need insurance, but I can drive with a with a licensed California driver in the car.

Okay. So, now I'm uh I'm driving every day. I drove today to the reservoir. Walk.

Doesn't it feel more like you have more independence? It's like such a confidence booster. I feel so much happier.

I love it cuz you were like loading groceries and I'm like look at that. That would be such a pain in the ass in an Uber.

It's I know. And but I do have to I I didn't re realize I like narrate as I drive to like soo myself. So I'm I'm going well I'm approaching a red light and and behind me it's you know it's it's his problem to slow down because I'm focusing ahead and these rules are in place to keep us safe. Like I really have to. But I went on for my lesson today. I went on the highway half an hour there and then half an hour back. So I'm I'm getting more confident. I can't wait to drive you somewhere.

I love that you're starting the new year. New you, new car, new life. Survive. Get [ __ ] Get rid of the year of the snake. Bring on the year of the horse.

It's a new year for you, baby. Yeah. I'm really into the year of the horse. Yeah.

Yeah. Ex am I right? Do we know anything about what that means? Year the year of the horse.

Uh yeah, it's like forward motion, stability, purpose. Um this year was all about like shedding and the darkness and

Yeah. And I guess big dicks cuz horses have big dicks. Hey, that's I'm reading that into it and I'm going to be

Well, look at the Oh my god. Well, new new year, new youth. There's it's going to be um

onward and upward moments. Yeah. I can't wait. Do you think I should put stickers on my car that say like new driver?

I mean, I listen, people will have a different opinion of this and some of our handsome listeners um you know, they might h they may have our own handsome sticker on their car.

Yeah. Um, I don't put stickers on my card usually because I'm doing a lease. Yeah, I'm doing a lease

and uh I don't know how tough it is to get stickers off. That's a really good point.

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Yeah, my mom's old car had stickers all over the back of it and I was like, God, really?

I don't know about this. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to keep it. But it is it's going to be my little world of my little pod. I can't wait. I'm gonna like I got to hang something from the mirror. How's Well, yeah, you can hang something from the mirror. It might be easier if you put a sticker on the window part. That might come off easier.

That's true. Baby on board or something. Baby on board. Baby's first car. Yeah. Or um year of the horse.

I think there is a sticker that says something like new driver. Yeah. Be careful. Or something.

Oh, but in LA that would just that would like incite their rage. like get out of the way.

Yeah. The amount of times I've been honked at like when I'm in the drive the driving school is like learner vehicle that's covered in driving school learner and just cuz I'm not going above the speed limit. People are

people are very impatient. They really are. You're going to be great. I love this for you. I'm very very happy for uh this next big step. Well, I'm hope I mean by yeah, by the time this comes out, hopefully I'll have my license. It's I've really talked it up so much that I have to just say I'm getting my license. If I fail, I'm going to be really bummed. But

I think you will because now you have a car and you're mo and you see how nice it is to to be able to do things for yourself in this way. I think it will motivate you.

Yeah, I can drive people around. But one thing I cannot tolerate and will never have is any music in the car.

Really? No. I'm I can't have that. No, no, no. I cannot think of any any I don't want any noise going on.

Pretty much. Yeah. I I need silence. Well, you're gonna you're going to get more comfortable driving and then your next phase will be getting so comfortable that you can take someone on a date.

Oh my lord. And drop them off and have that moment where the car pulls up and you stop and you're s, well, this is me. And I go, well,

yeah. Goodbye. I I remember back in the day in my early 30s, uh, one of my favorite things to do would be to go on dates and smooch in the car after.

Oh, it's the best. It's the best. A car a car smooch is really nice. I even have that feeling when a friend drops me off somewhere and they and it's nighttime after dinner and they drop me off and the car stops outside my house. There's like a pregnant pause and I'm like, it feels like we should kiss. Like it's just

now your friends are going to be like, "Why haven't you kissed me?" If you were thinking about it, why don't you just do it?

I know. Listen, should we hear what our listeners want to know and what they need?

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Hello, handsome. My name is Mariana. I'm a first-time caller, forever listener. I'm from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. And I will see May when they're here to perform their standup. Uh, May, I think you'll find, as you know, Ottawa is better than Toronto. Um, recently you guys were talking and Tig said that she walks around without a lid on her coffee. And May said, "Isn't it super bold and cool when people dare to wander around with their kitchen mug?" And I thought, "Oh god, I have never felt better about myself because May thinks I'm super cool." So my question is, what's something that you think is so cool and bold and confident when other people do it, but you can't pull it off yourself?

Oh, I have a list of mile long. Thank you for that question. And I do stand by that. Anyone who takes their home coffee mug out into the world, like in their car or walking around. Very cool.

Yeah. Um, for me it's winking, like a confident casual wink. Like I I I'm pull it off at all. Can you do it?

Yeah. I mean kind of I mean you physically can I can do it but you know my whole face moves with it.

Same. Yeah. But people who are really good at a little twinkly wink that everyone else misses you know.

I think when I do it without thinking I can do a proper one. But like when I start thinking about it I'm like

Yeah. Yeah. That was good that one. Then also uh people who like instead of passing you something throw throw it

like throw keys or like throw you an apple to eat. But because it's cool because it assumes that you're going to you're cool enough to catch it.

Yeah. And it's just confident. I'm thinking about Aladdin really in in confident enough to throw anything at someone.

I would never presume that they would catch it and Yeah. No. Or Yeah. Hm. What about you?

I've I've seen a lot of women wearing like really baggy jeans and pants lately.

Yeah, I don't know that I can pull that off. I think you can, but I know what you mean. It feels

It feels like I'm already bigger built, so like to then add a bunch of extra fabric just seems like too much.

I And people they're so wide the pants people are wearing now. But that is cool. Like you'll see a lot of people.

Yeah. But I don't think I can pull it all. I think you could like wide jeans and then a a tighter tea.

Tighter. You can't rock a tighter tea. That's where I want the loose extra fabric is in the tea.

Okay. Then then Yeah, a structured pant. Yeah, I like a structured pant. And also with my gams, why am I going to not Yeah. You know, highlight those. Come on.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to think if there's anything else that's I'm sure there's a lot of things where I'm like, "Oh, that's so cool, but I could never do it."

You know what I could never do, but I don't think it's cool? Vaping. I just can't. I know that cuz I I still smoke occasionally, and I know I shouldn't. And everyone's like, "Why don't you try vaping? I just can't. I can't do it. It's too in a big cloud."

No. Is it as addictive? I don't really know the science behind all of it. Is it as addictive as smoking? Yeah.

Well, it's got nicotine in it. Yeah. I think it just is meant to not have like the tar and stuff and it doesn't smell bad after. But, um,

we're going to find out that it's evil. Yeah. I have no desire to vape, but I don't have any desire to smoke either.

No, but you often like will mime a will mime a cigarette. I like to pretend that I'm an oldfashioned broad from the Broadway

in New York City just smoking a cigarette. Yeah. Timothy, did you get the alterations done?

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Yeah, you know that kind of thing. Yes,

I do love that. It suits you. Yeah, people I mean, smoking still kind of looks cool, but I don't want to. It's not really my thing.

It's the worst. Um, but that was a good question. Yeah, that was a good thing. Mariana, I'll see you. That was a good thing.

That was a good thing. I'll see you in Ottawa. I'm Mariana. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you've got the right supplies when you're trying to paint a landscape, on the other hand, is quite regretful. You wanted to capture a beautiful seascape, but you forgot the blue paint at home. Yeah, checking first is smart. So, check All State first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Let's hear Mariana's answer.

Well, my answer is for me it's jumpsuits. A one piece outfit, some kind of onesie that's super classy or super professional. Uh on a good day, I'm like 5 foot tall and I really can't pull those off. I feel just absolutely ridiculous. But I think women in particular or non-binary folks who wear something like that are just the coolest.

I agree. I think it's I think I could get into overalls. I think in a kind of like farm boy, fetch me that picture and then I could be like the farm boy.

Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. But it is a one piece is very cool. Yeah, for sure. I cannot pull that off.

Should we hear one more? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. What's that? Hi, handsome pod. This is Kate from Connecticut and my question is, do you prefer the summer or winter Olympics seeing as the Winter Olympics are coming up soon? And further, is there an Olympic sport that you could see each other really excelling at?

Great question. I love the Olympics. I I love I I am more of a summer gal, though.

Um I get very excited about it. I watch the opening ceremony. I'm super into it. I feel very um into like rooting the teams on winter Olympics. I I do I will watch some of them because I want to support the the these athletes. They work so hard to get to this point,

but I'm not a winter sport gal. Yeah, I'm more of the summer. I love the like I love to watch gymnastics. I love to watch swimming, which is weird because I don't watch any of this

any other time. Yeah. I'll watch uh track and field. I'll watch soccer, tennis. I love it. There's so many good things.

Yeah, I agree. I'm a I'm I'm a summer guy, but I don't really watch it. But I do I love the opening ceremonies like the the one in England where the queen met James Bond. That was great.

And uh I Yeah. And I like to I like like kaying and things that Canada's good at. I like. And then winter sports. I don't know. I got so those skiers doing the flips. It It's so insane. Yeah.

I imagine your your country of Canada um does very well in the winter sports. That's like where they shine, right?

Do we, Thomas? Yeah. Canada is always in the top like three or so countries in the winter Olympics.

Yeah. A wintry uh have a big winters there. Big winters. I should get into it then because it's I mean I'm still recovering from the the World Series and I'd like to see Canada win something. So maybe some skiing.

Yeah, I think you would be very good fortune at Olympic um Olympic uh is there some I'm trying to think about your gams and is there something like you know how Dr. with horses where they kind of trot and prance

and if you were just trotting and prancing with your I could trot and prance. I was thinking I would be a ballroom dancer with short shorts. Is that

Olympics? Got to be. Probably not. Yeah. I love watching figure skating though, I will say.

Oh yeah, figure skating is fun. Oh my god. I like a I like a floor routine in gymnastics with the um with the ribbons. I would like to do that. Yeah,

I could see you curling. Thank you. You're welcome. I'll take it. I If there was like an Olympic sport for um like apologizing for not being able to come to something,

that would be you. That would be me. Yeah. Yeah. Curling I would like or um Yeah, I there's a a documentary that my friend made a documentary comedy series called I Have Nothing. That's in Canada. that's on Crave and it's on Peacock everywhere else. And it's about her trying to choreograph an Olympic level Paris figure skating routine, but she's never skated or danced and it's her crazy dream and I'm in it and it's I really recommend it if you like winter sports.

LA's going to be hosting uh the Olympics. I know in what is it? 27 2028 I think.

28. But you know, every city that hosts it freaks out cuz they're never ready for it. And

no, there's no public transport in the city. Yeah. And then everyone shits on that city during the Olympics. Like they really did like Well, well, we just had Paris and everyone was like, "Oh, he's

the housing's awful. The food's so bad." I know. And I just learned to drive and I'm going to be on the roads during the Olympics here.

They got a lot of work to do to get ready. There's still I mean they've been doing things trying to like get things prepared already but it's I feel like they're behind.

We got a lot of work to do to get ready for those Olympics. We got to start training in our

tap dancing prancing and we have we have to get ready for the Oscars and the Olympics.

I know. Well, surely we'll be featured in the opening ceremony for the Olympics. I'll be shocked. We'll run through the city with the the torch, the Olympic torch, right?

Oh my god, how good would that be? Or like descend on wires into the stadium. I mean, I will say that they have to do some sort of like Hollywood stunt person type.

Yeah. Oh, it'll be got to be electric, you know? Yeah. We need pyrochnics. We need Katy Perry. We need all of it. We need Katie Perry. We definitely must have gay.

Yeah, actually. I think I take that back. Actually, Justin Trudeau. Maybe they'll still be together by then.

Yeah. Who knows? I'm ready for And he'll be holding a sign that says, "Your legacy will be great."

Yeah. And she'll wink at him confidently and throw him an apple. Well, I think it's I think it's fun. I I love all these uh I love all these athletes from all over the world who've trained their booties off and this is their time to shine. I'm like, "Get your money, get your campaigns, get your sponsorships. This is your time, baby. You worked hard. This is your moment."

I like seeing the human body pushed to its limits. Yeah. And I know when I'm watching it, I can't do what they're doing.

Yeah, same. Unless it would be like uh um what is it called? Um with the bow and arrow. Why can't I think archery? I would love archery.

Really? You think you'd be good? I think didn't Gina Davis get become an archerist. Is that the word?

Yeah. Um I think I could do decent, but it would take a a lot of practice. You know what's crazy? We watch the Olympics and we're like, "God, I respect I could never do that." Comedy is so different. After every show, someone's going, "Nah, you should have done this." Someone in the audience or an Uber driver saying, "Yeah, you should talk about this." Feel like everyone thinks, "I'll do it."

Right. Does that sound bitter? Oh, well, that's uh Let's hear Kate's answer. My answer is I prefer the Winter Olympics slightly because I love snow and the skiing and figure skating and all that is so impressive. Um, and I really think Fortune and TIG would be pretty good at water polo considering all the treading you've been doing. And May might have an innate Canadian ability to excel at ice hockey or curling.

Um, anyway, I'm really excited this spring. I'm going to see May on tour. It'll be my first ever comedy show. Um, Tig, your Connecticut show was sold out. I shouldn't be surprised. and Fortune just saw Zootopia 2. You crushed it. Love the pod. Keep it handsome.

Thank you, Kate. Keep it handsome, Kate. Well, it's always a treat to uh chat with you, my friend, and to you, too.

Hear from our lovely listeners? Yeah, I love that both those people said they were coming to my tour show. That's so amazing.

I know. Are you excited for it? You getting pumped for this tour? I am, and I'm writing feverishly. Um,

yeah. I am getting pumped. I really like when people online tag us and that they've bought a ticket to all three of our shows. That's so nice and they're they're doing it like I I checked off the trifecta like we're Pokemon. They're collecting and I really like that.

Well, it is nice that that people uh support us so much. Yeah. What What do you got coming up?

Um I'm just doing some uh standup right now. I got um I'm in Atlanta tonight doing a show there. And then uh coming up I have Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, uh a bunch of shows. Um Fateville, Arkansas, Little Rock, San Diego, Oklahoma City. What about you?

I'm just gearing up for my tour, which starts end of February. So check out maym martin.net and I'm going to 35 cities in North America and that's my main vibe right now. Um so check that out. I love it.

Awesome. Other than that, all that remains. Pretty handsome. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you read that article your mom emailed you before calling her on the phone. Ill advised. No, Mom. I didn't read that very long article you sent me, but I promise I'll check it out as soon as we're done chatting. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check All State first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook Illinois.

That was a Headgum podcast.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome"?

Fortune Feimster (Host), May Martin (Host), Biggy Bear (Guest), Mariana (Guest), Kate (Guest).

What is "Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome" about?

In this episode, hosts Fortune and May Martin welcome back their beloved pet, Biggy Bear, sharing heartfelt moments about their reunion and discussing the lovable quirks of their furry friend. They also offer light-hearted tips for creating the perfect romantic atmosphere at home, emphasizing the importance of thoughtful lighting choices.

What is mentioned in this Handsome Podcast episode?

6 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including All State, Fortune, Mariana, Chief Thunder Bear, Gina Davis, Crave. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Pretty Little Episode #73 | Handsome"?

The episode runs 24 min; the transcript is about 4,478 words in 127 timestamped sections.

More from Handsome Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.