Transcript

Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome

From Handsome Podcast · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 23 min · 4,431 words · 117 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome", an episode of Handsome Podcast published January 30, 2026 (23 min, about 4,431 words). It mentions 10 people, works and ideas, including Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin, Nikki Glaser, Khloe Kardashian, Paula Pell.

What this episode is about

In this episode, hosts May Martin and Fortune Feimster engage in a lighthearted conversation about personal preferences regarding physical appearance, particularly focusing on the appeal of eye color and hands. They share amusing anecdotes and insights into what features they find attractive, creating an entertaining dialogue that combines humor and relatability.

Key takeaways

  • Insurance savings are great, but don't forget your slippers—a cold floor is an emotional disaster.
  • Color choices can enhance attraction; just don’t expect all eyes to be on your personality.
  • In the realm of charisma, it's eyes versus hands—who knew hand appreciation could rival eye candy?
  • Star roles demand hard work, yet camaraderie among cast offers a fun twist on the grueling grind.
  • Even a podcast is a turf war; respect boundaries to dodge the dreaded 'not another podcast' eye roll.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin, Allstate, Khloe Kardashian
  2. – 10:00: Nikki Glaser, Mae Martin, Sarah Silverman, Spice World
  3. – 15:00: Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin, Allstate, Golden Girls

Notable quotes from "Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome"

  • Pretty little episode. I'm your pretty little host, May Martin, joined by your pretty little host, Fortune Fster.
    about Fortune Feimster · at
  • Not for this one, just because it's a big broad comedy. and they the I know the writer Paula Pel very funny SNL writer for many years and very funny actress as well. Paula…
    about Paula Pell · at
  • Yeah. What you need is an ally like Nikki Glazer to say, Exactly. Oh, Kim, did you know Fortune does a podcast and it's so easy to do because you just send in like a two.
    about Nikki Glaser · at
  • Yeah, I'm what's going on? I'm just writing trying to write my standup show. I still It's still called the possum. I still have no material about possums.
    about Mae Martin · at
  • Yeah, because I love the movie Spice World and that's how I imagine it'll be.
    about Spice World · at
  • And I had thought I would be Sassy Blanch, who was the [ __ ] And people were No, you're Rose.
    about Golden Girls · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Fortune Feimster — Person · Host / Co-host · 4 mentions · first at
    Co-host driving much of the conversation; discusses starring in an upcoming comedy film and mentions collaborators and potential celebrity participation.
  • Mae Martin — Person · Host / Co-host · 3 mentions · first at
    Introduces the episode and participates throughout, discussing driving anxiety, creativity, and touring.
  • Nikki Glaser — Person · Referenced collaborator / potential ally · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as part of the film’s main cast and as someone who can help introduce the podcast to Kim Kardashian; also referenced as having submitted a question to the pod previously.
  • Khloe Kardashian — Person · Referenced celebrity / film cast member · 1 mention · first at
    Discussed as a very famous co-star in Fortune’s upcoming film and as a potential person to submit a question/appearance for the podcast.
    Do you think we're going to get a question from Kim? You got two months and you're in almost every scene. I got to fill it out first to before I go in hot for a question.
  • Paula Pell — Person · Referenced creator (writer of upcoming film) · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as the writer (and co-writer) of the film Fortune is about to shoot; used to establish the project’s comedic credibility.
  • Janine Brito — Person · Referenced creator (co-writer of upcoming film) · 1 mention · first at
    Named as Paula Pell’s wife and co-writer on the film Fortune is preparing to shoot.
    The writer Paula Pel very funny SNL writer for many years and very funny actress as well. Paula wrote it with her wife Janine Bridto and they are super talented. So I the part…
  • Sarah Silverman — Person · Referenced comedian (social norm example) · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as an example of a comedian who discourages podcast-guest solicitation at parties, illustrating how saturated podcast requests are in comedy circles.
    Yeah. I remember hearing that Sarah Silverman at her annual parties there was a sign on the door that was like no asking people to be on your podcast at the Yeah. Which I really respect.

Media & podcasts

  • Golden Girls — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    The Golden Girls is referenced in a discussion about personal license plates and character identification.
  • Spice World — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Spice World is mentioned as a reference point for the experience of being on a tour bus.

Sponsors

  • Allstate — Company · Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at
    Allstate is mentioned as a sponsor of the podcast, with ad reads promoting their car insurance services.
    Checking All State first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart.

Full transcript with timestamps

This is a Headgum podcast. Checking All State first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you put your slippers next to the bed before going to sleep. Very sad times. I love waking up and remembering that my feet don't have to touch the cold floor.

Yeah, checking first is smart. So, check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook Illinois

Pretty Little Episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. This is a pretty little episode. I'm your pretty little host, May Martin, joined by

your pretty little host, Fortune Fster. And hello. And hello my friend. Good to see you.

Good to see you in your baby blue zip up. Listen, I don't want you to get too attracted to me cuz my eyes be popping.

They really are popping when I wear blue. May Yeah, I'm the same. People tell me I should wear blue. That's That's the color.

It's a good color. I like blue and I like green cuz it makes my eyes pop. Yeah.

What color are your eyes? They're blue. M there. Do you remember in The Princess Bride, she says his eyes were like the sea before a storm.

A anyway, I always think about it. Very romantic. I wish someone said that about me.

Are you into people's eyes? Is that a thing? You know, some people are just like eye they're really eye people.

I mean, no. I I I struggle with eye contact, but I I mean, I like eyes. I like eyes, but my main thing is hands. I like people's hands, and I noticed that right away.

Hands, too. Yeah, hands are pretty crucial. I love on on a on a lady too, especially that like um like a strong hand but has like kind of that feminine nail with the with the good scratchies.

Oh, you like that? Yeah. Yeah. Like a little scratchy nail. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just think the way people use their hands when they talk too is like it says a lot about them. But also, do you think, you know, gay people, especially um us, look at hands a little bit more,

right? Because they're an important tool. They're they're important to what we're doing around here.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we're Yeah. So, maybe we notice them more. I look at hands as if it's looking at cleavage. Like I I really Yeah.

Interesting. Um, what's going on? I'm about to start uh a new movie. Yeah. Um, I'm I'm uh gearing up for that. So, it's going to be a crazy busy couple months, but I'm very excited because it's the first movie I've had a starring role in. Um,

that's massive, dude. Yeah. So, it's uh going to be a lot of work. It's going to be long days and a lot of memorizing every day. There's not much uh me and the gals I'm doing it with are in like every scene but like five,

right? Um so it's going to be a lot of quick turnarounds of Oh, I had a I filmed all day and now I got to memorize

Yeah. for tomorrow. But um it'll be good. And do you are you do you do any kind of prep for your performance? Like sort of do you have like an acting coach you check in with or anything?

Not for this one, just because it's a big broad comedy. Um and they the I know the writer Paula Pel very funny um SNL writer for many years and very funny actress as well. Paula wrote it with her wife Janine uh Bridto and they are super talented. So I uh I the part feels very in my wheelhouse. Um so I would kind of be going to an acting coach to learn how to do it myself how how I would as myself. Um, it's a lesbian character. Quite a shock. Um, but yeah, I feel pretty confident with this one of of um grasping the the vibe here.

Yeah. Great. I just want everybody uh I I I just want it to be a very um good camaraderie among the four girl. It's all about the four of us. So,

yes. Hopefully, we just like get comfortable and s I want it to be silly and fun.

Yeah. because that'll make you more funny if you're trying to make each other laugh and you Yeah. Who are the four again? Are you allowed to say it?

Yeah. Nikki Glazer, um Kim Kardashian, and Bring the Song. It's insane. This is insane.

That's right. That's right. We're going to get some skin care skin care tips from

Yeah, you are. Do you think my skims, too? Do you think we're going to get a question from Kim? You got two months and you're in almost every scene. I got to fill it out first to before I go in hot for a question.

Yeah, you're right. You got to b your time. I don't know like how, you know, with people that famous, I never know how guarded they are with stuff. I mean, you know cuz

you when you approach someone about a question, if they're not familiar with the pod, you just go, "Hey, you want to be on my pod?" And you can see people's faces go like, "Oh god, another podcast."

Yeah. What you need is an ally like Nikki Glazer to say, Exactly. Oh, Kim, did you know Fortune does a podcast and it's so easy to do because you just send in like a two second

because Nikki did a question for us. She did. And uh and I saw at the Globes Nikki was like, "Y'all's podcast is huge." And I was like, "Yeah, people love it. It's awesome." But if someone's not familiar with it and you go, "Hey, you want to do a question?" And they're like, "Oh god." Cuz those of you that don't know, every person in the world in this business has been asked to do a podcast a thousand times over.

Yeah. I remember hearing that Sarah Silverman at her annual parties there was a sign on the door that was like no asking people to be on your podcast at the Yeah. Which I really respect.

Yeah. Cuz you just get cornered by everybody especially comedians cuz it's like you you know know people just from the clubs and you want to help them out and then you're like oh gosh there's just no time in the day to do all these podcasts.

Um so then you're like no it literally it's like 90 seconds. I promise it's easy. Then they get more relaxed about it.

Well, I have faith in you. I think you're I think we can make it happen. If you can get Arnold, you can get Cam.

I know. That was a good one. Arnold, I got to get Will at some point as well. Will Frell? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Well, I'm excited for you about that. How are things going with you?

Things are good. Um, uh, yeah, things are pretty good. Yeah, I'm uh, what's going on? I'm just writing trying to write my my standup show. I still It's still called the possum. I still have no material about possums.

Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, but I'm I'm researching. I'm writing and uh my friend Joe's coming back to LA soon to start work on a new TV show we're we're developing. So, that's good. But yeah, I'm in a bit of aowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow period.

Okay. In a nice in a nice way. That's good. And and your tour starts when? End of Jan end of end of February.

Okay. So, so this is the period of time where you can just breathe a little bit.

Yeah. And I'm really I it's like sinking in because I get my like social battery gets low. Like I I And it's sinking in like being on the tour bus for two weeks where you're doing like two shows a night sometimes and doing the meet and greets after. I'm like,

"Okay, how am I going to really Yeah. be robust in my energy? I got to make sure I'm sleeping." Yeah.

Yeah. Are you excited about the bus part of it? Yeah, because I love the movie Spice World and that's how I imagine it'll be. Yeah, I love it.

Who will go with you? Anyone? Sometimes. Elena Johnston, our friend, is going to come and uh do some improv with me. And my friend Matt who lives in in the back house. I I have to stop introducing him like that. Matt, my friend, he's going to come and do some improv with me. So, it's I'm like old old friends. Maybe Lisa will come for a couple shows, but um

Awesome. I'm going to do the show, the standup show, and then do a bit of improv with a friend.

Yeah. Every time. So, that'll be good. Well, I love this, my friend. Yeah. Thanks.

I guess I'll be podcasting from the bus, probably. I I don't know how I'm going to have to get a really good internet, Thomas. We're going to have to get that.

Y'all y'all will discuss. We'll We'll keep it keep it going and keep it handsome on the road.

Hell yeah, we will. Well, should we get a question? Yes, please. Hi, handsome. This is Hannah calling from Michigan. Question for you. Um, my best friend and I have been sending each other custom license plates, people's vanity plates for about a year now, and we send about two a day to each other, and they're everywhere, and people are crazy with what they put on their license plate. Um, sidebar is that I met this friend when I was in 10th grade, she was in ninth grade, failed 9th grade English, and had to take it again. So, we ended up in the same class and we've been friends for 15 years. And I think Tig, you maybe have a similar story. It's how you met on one of your best friends. So, cheers to being screw-ups, I guess. Anywh who, what would your license plate be? I have some ideas for you all, but I want to hear what you think.

Oo, your We just We just talked about You just mentioned that. Yeah. That my license plate is currently a full sentence,

which I feel like you're you are into that. That's perfect for you. Yeah. I don't I don't want to draw too much attention to myself on the roads cuz I'm not the most confident driver yet. So, I wouldn't have like a really funny one.

Mhm. Would you would you ever have like Yeah, I don't think I would ever do a personalized one. Um,

you wouldn't have peanut butter [ __ ] No, Peanut Butter [ __ ] is tempting. So, hopefully one of our listeners will figure that one out.

Would be like PB BTC or something like that. Or what about gams for gams for girls? Gams for babes.

Yeah, something about my gams. But if I had to pick one, um I I mean I'm not going to, but

if I had to have one, yeah, it would be like something about the Golden Girls, which by the way, May, um you know, we were trying to decide. I know you and Jake had not seen the Golden Girls, but we were trying to decide who was who. And I had I had thought I would be Sassy Blanch, who was the um you know, the [ __ ]

And people were like, "No, you're Rose. You're the like silly um goofy May's Blanch." And I was like, "You're you're actually right. May is Blanch."

Oh, okay. Not that you're a [ __ ] but you're you're the one that's making the the spicy moves. And I'm just like, you know, buttholes and cooters, you know,

but you know, you can be whichever Golden Girl you want. This is your fantasy. You can be Blanch.

So my license plate would be something about like, you know, uh, keep it golden or, you know, cuz it'll play on keep it handsome.

Oh, okay. That's good. Yeah. Or maybe there maybe just handsome for the license plate.

Yeah, handsome is good. Mhm. And if and if the regular way of spelling it taken s u m

hence um Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I would have like a little cowboy type one maybe. But I don't know. I think I Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I could do it.

Yeah, it would be like just please don't honk. Yeah, please. Nude driver. I want to hear what Hannah thinks we should get cuz

Oh, I think yours should say nude driver. Nude driver. That's good. Yeah, get strong.

And for me, mine would probably be LOL. Oops. You know, it might be O, might be zeros. There might be a Z in there,

but something along those lines. I think that would be funny. That's good. And then for you all, TIG, Dumpster Tits DMB Titi TZ

Fortune, sorry, this for Biggie, Dead Eyes, DY E. Little Cowboy, L I L C W. Okay, love you all. Bye. That's good. Dead eyes. My boy is full of life.

Your license by being dead eyes is pretty is pretty great. Biggie's not driving this car.

Yeah, true. People are just also his eyes are gorgeous. Checking all save first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make room for your family pets when settling in for movie night ain't going to fly. If my dog's not on the couch with me, he's going to stare at me with a really sad face until we find him a spot.

Yeah, check him first. is smart. So check All State first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Should we get another question?

Let's do it. Thanks for that one, Hannah. I like that. Yeah. Thanks, Hannah. Hey, handsome. This is Zoe from uh Almost Canada, Northwest Washington. I'm inspired to reach out today um listening to May's journey with Driving. I too was a later in life driver who had a really big struggle with it. And um I remember when I did my first test, I was in my like mid20s and when I failed miserably, the instructor handed me my paper and was like, "Go bring this to your parents." And I just

I went to the nearest bathroom and just like baldled my eyes out. So I really feel you there. And so my question today is what is one thing that you really struggle with even you know that other people seem to just get easily and what is something that you get easily but other people struggle with. All right. Love you all. Have a have a good podcast. How do you end this? Okay. Bye.

Great question. Yeah. Something you struggle with that other people find easy. I would say math, which by extension means uh money now. Like I still

like buying this house, I uh I would get like a lump in my throat trying to understand everything, the mortgage and the property taxes. Like I just shut off and and sort of panic. I don't know. I don't I don't I bury my head in the sand and and some people are just gifted with money and and with math

and I just absolutely can't do it. Yeah. and it makes me panic. Um, what about you?

Well, if it gives you any hope, I am a I was terrible at math and it was the because I was a good student that made good grades just cuz I worked really hard.

Mhm. And uh math was the one subject that I just was constantly having to stay after school for and like get help with the teacher. Like I really had a hard time with it. My brain just didn't wrap its head around it. Not that I still understand money completely, but it is something you can get better at in time. And just by practice of buying a like you did, buy a house and um certain bills or you know running your own business, you will learn things about it as you go.

Um and and having people in your life who are very good at it kind of give you um guidance. You'll learn as they do that stuff as well.

Okay. It can be learned. Yeah. But I hear you. It is a It is a um intimidating world.

It is intimidating. Yeah. Yeah, it is. One thing I'm I find easier that other people struggle with maybe is is like I think I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to like doing a drawing or making a song or something. So, because I think everybody's creative, but sometimes people are just afraid of not it not being good enough or not finishing it or not getting it right. And yeah,

I think I'm pretty good at just like like laying down a shitty drawing and being like that's what it you know what I mean? Like I'm not I don't get paralyzed by the kind of blank page. So, I think I'm good at just like doing a creative thing and even if it's not

great and that's half the battle. Do you find it easy to with song making as well?

Yeah, because I it's it's you just have to start with something and then and then it and then you whittle it down. You make it better and better each time

and Yeah. So, I think I'm pretty good at just like vomiting up like a a a rough draft of something creative and then trusting that by the time it's done it'll be good.

Yeah. Yeah. What about you? What are you not good at that other people are good at? Um, I mean I would have said math as well. Math is a tougher one for me. Like you even just like you know fractions I have to think about for a second or like

percentages. Percentages. Yeah. Um I'm always like But you're so you're good with money though. You're not afraid of it.

I am good with money just because I've seen a lot of people in my life make a lot of mistakes with it.

Um so I think it comes from a place of just trying to like not make those same mistakes. Yeah,

four languages don't come as easy to me. Like I lived in Spain for a year and you know learned enough but anybody else that has spent that much time there I think would have been come away better at speaking it than me,

right? Um like I can still, you know, understand and stuff and and say certain things, but I felt very limited in my skill set with languages and some people just are so naturally gifted at those.

Yeah. that they can like pick it up super easy. I think I'm the I'm the same. It's hard to It's hard. Yeah.

But I think the same brain that does math is a languages maybe too. That makes sense. Yeah.

The one thing uh I think that's always come fairly easy for me is writing. Um it's not necessarily my favorite thing to do. Uh because it feels like homework and I have to do it a lot. Uh, and I never thought as an adult I would have to be like going to like coffee shops to do work,

right? As if you're like a student like on a deadline. Yeah. Yeah. But like writing scripts or writing standup, writing, you know, TV shows, whatever it is. Um, it is like homework. It is like having a paper due by whatever deadline. You you know that feeling as well. Um,

yeah, that sounds similar to like it's about just doing it, right? Like it's similar to what I'm saying about like every like that, you know that thing, the only difference between a writer and a non-writer is a writer writes. It's like

everybody is a creative person. It's just can you make yourself sit down and do it and and Yeah, it sounds like

just discipline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you've got that. But like I've always been just naturally uh like in ninth grade we had to do like a or not ninth grade, 10th grade we had to do like a a North Carolina like writing prompt where you you don't know the thing and they're like write about this and then it's sent into the state and you're like graded on it.

Yeah. I um like I had not at that point had we had not really had writing classes. is they just wanted to see where you're starting and um I was like one of a handful of people that got like the highest score in the state and I was just like what?

Do you remember what the prompt was? I want to say it was like about the Iliad or some something like at that time in the English class that we were studying.

That must that's so nice and encouraging at that age to be like whoa. Well, it was this like secret gift that I didn't even know was like a thing. It was like oh I c I can I guess I can write. Um, so I've just always been able to figure out writing. Um,

that's right. So one day I'd like to maybe I just get so busy that the idea of adding more to my plate is like gh but everyone's like when are you writing a book

and I would like to delve into that one day but I just again it feels like homework.

Yeah. So it's not something I've been antsy to um to undertake but it would feel like such an accomplishment to to do it. So maybe maybe one one of these days.

Yeah, I feel the same. Well, I I wrote a book about sexuality for it was for teens, so it was it was uh easier to write because you had to write it at a level that like

11year-olds could get into. But I would I'd like to write a book one day, too. Would you So you'd write like a an autobiography or like a

fiction? Yeah. It feels like I need um more life and more stories under my belt for

I know. And also the hard thing is when you're a stand-up, your whole my whole standup act is an autobiography. So I'm giving that to you every special I put out.

So then when it comes to like writing a book, you're like, well, I've told a lot of these stories or like if I'm writing it for a book, that story would probably be good for standup. It feels redundant.

And there's something about putting stuff in writing that I worry about the people and the stories and the people in my life. And there's there's a lot of stories I'd love to tell that I I feel like out of respect I can't.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I think in time maybe maybe down the road if that makes sense. That would be a good thing to do.

Well, why don't I ghost write your autobiography and you ghost write mine and we just see we see what we come up with. And you're not allowed to ask me any further questions. It's just based on based on what

very incomplete. Well, you can fill in the blanks with just fiction. Well, yeah. You're going to know that I'm going to have a lot of follow-up questions to certain things that you're uh known for being good at.

I'm going to write your autobiography for sure. It's called Cters. Cooters and Hooters.

Cooters and Hooters. Well, that was a lovely um lovely time spent with you. It sure was. Well, um I'm glad we got to answer some questions. It's always fun to hear from people. So, if you have any questions for us or any advice, we're into that as well.

Yeah. Uh you can submit your questions and uh request for advice um to speakpipe.com/handsomepod. Yeah, you can. And uh yeah, check out what we're up to live. Come see us live and tell us your questions then as well.

Yeah.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome"?

May Martin (Host), Fortune Feimster (Host), Hannah (Host), Zoe (Guest).

What is "Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome" about?

In this episode, hosts May Martin and Fortune Feimster engage in a lighthearted conversation about personal preferences regarding physical appearance, particularly focusing on the appeal of eye color and hands. They share amusing anecdotes and insights into what features they find attractive, creating an entertaining dialogue that combines humor and relatability.

What is mentioned in this Handsome Podcast episode?

10 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin, Nikki Glaser, Khloe Kardashian, Paula Pell, Janine Brito. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Pretty Little Episode #76 | Handsome"?

The episode runs 23 min; the transcript is about 4,431 words in 117 timestamped sections.

More from Handsome Podcast

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 31, 2026.