What REALLY Happens When I Take My Family to Costco

What this episode is about

The narrative explores a chaotic family outing to Costco, highlighting amusing interactions and the camaraderie of joint shopping experiences, while also weaving in a recent dining experience that sets the stage for the family trip. Key moments include playful banter over purchase decisions, reflections on memorable food from a recent event, and the joy of sharing the shopping journey together.

Key takeaways

• Forget Netflix—Costco runs are the new must-watch reality show; who knew price tags could spark drama?
• Squash blossoms: fancy yet fleeting. Five isn't a serving; it’s a culinary cliffhanger!
• Espresso martinis: because sometimes, you need caffeine to dance like nobody's watching… even if they aren't.
• Costco: the mecca for impulse buys and family debates—who knew shopping could double as family therapy?
• Frozen drinks and blender envy—welcome to summer priorities, where even our appliances have FOMO.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Heather McDonald (Host) · 14 min speaking
• Drake (Guest) · 6 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Costco, Branzino, Juicy Scoop
2. 5:00 – 10:00: Costco
3. 10:00 – 15:00: Pediature
4. 15:00 – 20:00: Costco

Notable quotes from "What REALLY Happens When I Take My Family to Costco"

• So, no. Last night was great. we got there, they had glasses of champagne for us. Then they brought out the Juicy Scoop cocktail for everybody. And then I did my thing in…

  about Juicy Scoop · at 0:23

• And now we're doing something that I love more than anything, and that's going to Costco, not by myself. I like going with people in my family, because then we end up buying things that I don't have to second guess.

  about Costco · at 2:17

• That's why he's so tall. Pediature. It's the best secret ever.

  about Pediature · at 14:13

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Books & papers

• Juicy Scoop — Book · 1 mention · first at 0:28

Companies & orgs

• Costco — Company · 5 mentions · first at 2:23

Products & tech

• Dyson Airwrap — Product · 2 mentions
• Pediature — Product · 1 mention · first at 14:13

Concepts & topics

• Branzino — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:07
  One of the vodka pastas, and a shrimp scampy. That was very good. And then we had a branzino, which by that time people are getting full. A brandino and a short rib, which I…

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Drake, we are not getting this. Should I get two? No. You need a golf umbrella? No.

0:06 [ __ ] No. Oh my god. Look. I could do my own Lego art. Just roll your body in it. Oh my god. Why is he not moving quicker with those long legs?

0:17 We got screwed out of two roses. So, no. Last night was great. Um, we got there, they had glasses of champagne for us. Then they brought out the Juicy Scoop uh cocktail for everybody. And then I did my thing in ordering and I ordered one order of uh squash blossoms, but they only came with five.

0:42 You know what you want? I do. I personally love the squash. Is it I can't speak.

0:48 Squash blossoms. The is a squash blossom. I also ordered two orders of the tuna crispy rice. Those were the starters. Then we had uh two of the corn pastas, one of the vodka pastas, and a shrimp scampy. That was very good. And then we had a branzino, which by that time people are getting full. A brandino and a short rib, which I don't even remember if I tried, but anyway. Then we did a round of espresso martinis just to perk us up. Oh, and there was a party upstairs and Julie and I went and danced just to one song up there. Nobody approached me and said I'm a big juicy scooper. Nobody did that. That was kind of a bummer. And then Lorie's driver came in her car to pick us up. Got some really nice um sunscreen stuff. What else? I got pickle balls. I got skim PJs.

1:48 I got a cute purse. I think that's it. all really good. And then in carrying all my gifts, I realized I had left my phone in their car. And then that was it. I woke up in the morning and said, "Can you call Danny, Lorie's husband, and you know, Peter wanted to make a big thing like, oh, did you glo it?" No, I left it cuz it was sitting next to me in the car. And then I went and got it at their house this morning. And now we're doing something that I love more than anything, and that's going to Costco, not by myself. I like going with people in my family, because then we end up buying things that I don't have to second guess.

2:35 So, let's do it. The happiest place on earth, Costco. Weslake Village. I love a Sunday at Costco. It really has become my church and we are been members for a long time platinum going to brag. And uh today's especially fun day at Costco because we're not returning anything and that's always like traumatic and scary. Gives the guys kind of a high. I kind of stress and um so we're not returning you know halfopen bottles of wine or anything embarrassing. We are just going to see what new items they have, maybe get some food, and this is my favorite thing to do. So, come with me to Costco and Pete Drake. We are not getting this.

3:40 We are not getting this. Absolutely not. It's 40 bucks off. Should we try one? Uh, no. It looks stupid.

3:51 In my family because then we end up buying things that I don't have to second guess.

3:57 Oh, I want a noodle like we have at the other house. I really like a noodle for swimming. I think this color is perfect because it matches the roof of our house. Should I get two?

4:12 No. Why would you say that? Like, you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. Like, you know, I'm not happy. You know, I'm trying.

4:24 What do you think of these chairs? Morning, family. How you doing? Oh, good. Good. No, I think

4:31 No, that's good, but we need it in black. Yeah. You should get this fan for your room, right? I'm good. Thanks.

4:41 You know what? We don't have like a good blender. You love frozen margaritas. For a frozen margarita,

4:50 it's $330. It's for a professional. I don't care. I don't need that. It helps with smoother sipping.

4:56 No, I don't need that [ __ ] And it does look good, doesn't it? Yeah, but it just sucks.

5:03 I mean, it's kind of a lot. Well, but you can make your own frappe and milkshake. And it's not just for alcoholic drinks.

5:15 Okay, let's let's ask dad if we can get it. I think we should try it. If we don't like it, we can return it.

5:20 90 days. That's the summer. Once summer's done, we're done drinking frozen drinks.

5:27 Whatever. I guess we'll try it out for the summer. Okay, let's see what he says.

5:33 You wanted a new chair, right? Oh, look at these office chairs. What is that? It's like a slushy machine.

5:47 Oh my gosh. Wait, this carpet for my room could look really nice. How big is this? Oh, 7 by10. That's not big enough, right, Drake? This one is 9 by10, but I don't like these as much. I don't like that at all.

6:11 What did you pay for this thing? 600 bucks. Now it's 400. What? Can you tell Haley to come back and return it?

6:18 And then this one is only 300. It's like a knockoff. That's the same thing. But even if you want the Dyson one, it's only 400 now. And it was How much did you pay? Like 600 or 650?

6:30 600. I mean Oh, no. This is the one I got. Thank you. Yes, it is. This is the one I got her,

6:37 the 579 one. So, it's not any cheaper. Oh my god. Wow. Really? It's the Dyson Air Wrap.

6:46 You got it with this? Yes, that's the one I got. Well, it's a little Yeah. Wow. What the hell?

6:52 Okay, let's go. Keep going. What about this little fan? You're not getting any little fan.

6:58 And that's a pretty small fan. You're not sweating my room forever. I always misplace my glasses. Let me get some more glasses. Okay, here we go.

7:16 You don't know what type you need. Yeah, still I'm still at 1.25. I have not gone up in like seven years, so that's good.

7:25 Ooh, this is soft. But I don't like any of these colors really. No. Oh, look at this. Oh my god. This is so good for the sharkie board with a lid. No, we don't need that. I'm not going to be bringing shakurerie boards to people's houses.

7:51 Now, let's check out the golf section. Okay, where's that? What I need for myself now that I'm a golfer.

7:58 $27. Well, they don't let you try them out. You can't practice. I'm like the one person that clearly has the Costco back at

8:07 Would that be? I'm okay to do the Kirkland balls, but this just You cannot. Everyone's going to know that this Pebble Beach was at Costco.

8:14 Exactly. They know. They know you didn't go to Do you need a golf umbrella? No.

8:20 [ __ ] no. What about the gloves? No. I mean, I just bought my glove. And look, you get four of them here. No,

8:32 they suck though. Oh my god, look. I could do my own Lego art. You could not solve this.

8:45 That is so cool. Oh my god, it's Legos for adults. Wow. You could do different things. It's so weird, actually.

8:57 Can I have one? Oh my god, this does feel nice. So cute. He was shy or he's being birthed coming out of an egg.

9:10 Wait, I do have to say. I mean, these feel so good. Oh my god. Just squish it. Just roll your body in it. That is so nice. Try it. Just try it, Drake. Just try it. I mean, the chicken salad's pretty great, but again, that's a lot of chicken salad. I've had these, but I feel like not enough people in my family want them. This is the mac and cheese I get for Thanksgiving. Oh, just trying trying to be discreet. Trying to get this meatball.

9:48 You ain't getting no damn meatball. Yeah, we're going to have to come back to this meatball. See what else is going on. What other free appetizers are being passed out? Wait, why don't we try the fla? Those are just like little um

10:02 Wait, let's check the calories on this. No, just get it. Let me just see the calories on it.

10:08 These are 170. Wait, I want to see what these are. 170 versus 200. She doesn't even understand the calories. There's like serving sizes and stuff as well.

10:20 All right. Let's see what else. I mean, I probably don't want those. You probably don't want the flaes.

10:38 If you don't want the fla, just go return them. I don't want to hear about it then. I like these juice drinks over here. This is a great value because it's all it's like basically you get eight of them and so it's it's $16. So it that's $2 to drink. I could do the math. Okay.

11:01 What? Who got this? Not me. All right. I think maybe I'd rather have this than that other thing.

11:11 Wait, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this one. Okay. Thank you. Oh, wait. There's some food over here. Oh, thank you. I mean, frozen garlic bread. Pretty delicious. I kind of like this shrimp. Not a lot of calories for three shrimp. No. Well, let's put it Oh, who cares? Let's try the dumplings. 240 and you get Wait, how many per serving? One whole tray. Well, then that's pretty good. How many in a tray? Six individually wrapped trays. Six pieces. Two 40s. That's 40. That's I think it's pretty good. Let's try this.

12:21 I can't wait for people to like comment on like I have no idea the sodium or whatever. Let me look at this watermelon cut up. How much is this? $6.99. Nah. No. I always feel like the fruit cut up is like never totally ripe. I don't know where they are.

12:53 That is so good. I always feel like that when I get it home, it doesn't taste as good. All right, let's see what else down here. Oh, these are good. This is pro. This is good protein. I'm going to get this.

13:15 Oh, mashed potatoes. Who doesn't love that? Oh, these are the kind of mashed potatoes I do for Thanksgiving that everyone's asking. It's these Main Street ones. And then I just add garlic. My god, this tastes so good. I don't know.

13:40 I mean, look, I'm I'm down to set a reminder in 75 days to come back and return it.

13:48 I We definitely have the room. Let's try it. All right, let's just not leave it out on the counter, though.

13:54 Oh, let me see what kind of flowers I want. I think these look so pretty. Do you want a class? You used to love it.

14:13 That's why he's so tall. Pediature. It's the best secret ever. What? Oh, you put it with banana. Even better. Great. I loved pediat milk and milk. Look, they're they're drinking the pediat, thousand years later.

14:48 Oh my god. What is Drake doing? He's like coming to the final line here. He's got another thing to throw on there. So stressful. It's done. We lost it. Hurry. It's coming to the end. Hurry. Oh my god. Why is he not like moving quickly? It's a long way.

15:43 What time is it? Oh, 12. Okay, Mom, if you ever go to return the car all the way over there again, I mean, we are freaking leaving you. That That was so annoying.

15:54 Why would you do that? Because Okay, I'll tell you. Because there isn't really another spot to do it.

16:00 What do you mean? Well, there isn't like the the There is. If you looked around, there was a spot right there.

16:06 No, that's not really for it. No, it is really for it. No, it's four carts. No. And then if you if you put them around the handicap thing, then the handicap people can't get out.

16:20 Whatever. Whatever. It's like I was sitting there with your damn flowers. I know. And you looked amazing holding flowers like that. Why Why didn't you just play along and let me pretend?

16:32 Because I was mad at that point for my birthday. Can we please order the one photo of you?

16:43 No. At graduation. No. Just the smiley face one. No, I'm not doing it. So that that's the last time you're asking and you're not getting that picture ever. Okay.

16:55 Then what are you getting me for my birthday? I'll just take a selfie of myself and give you that.

17:02 Okay. Sounds good to me. Like why are there so many candles all on the counter? How did we get this?

17:24 What's it say? This is somebody got second place in the celebrity tea off at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

17:36 I did. Where's Oakmont Country Club? Oakmont is uh kind of Glendale. Oh, so you really did win this back in 2011.

17:45 Yeah. Well, that's good. Now, what is up with all these candles that you're buying?

17:49 This is for your It's for outside. It's mint eucalyptus. Oh, to get rid of the mosquitoes.

17:54 Yeah. Oh, well then that's wise. Okay. Now, last time I got these roses, I got a little lazy and I did not cut the bottoms and they died so quick.

18:10 Oh my god, this is annoying. Every time it relocks. That is so Is there a way to unlock it? Maybe. Okay. Wait, maybe that's it. No. Every time. Oh my god. This is going to take so long. This Look, Peter, I'm a proud wife. Okay. All they do is like guard it and make their own bread, which is weird because you know the saying, you know, it's the next best thing to slice bread because there was a time where you had to make your own bread and then they made it that you could just buy it in the stores and it would be sliced and now 25 year old women want to go back to having non-sliced bread making it themselves.

19:04 17 18 19 20 21 22. We got We got screwed out of two roses. Oh, you know what? Now I'm going to go and count them next time. And I feel like now this is too empty. I think I should just put them all in here and make it like real full. Yeah, that looks better. Okay, there we go. Happy happy happy.

19:36 Well, we had a great day at Costco. We got some fun things for the pool, for the roses for my birthday, some protein, some not healthy food, some kind of sorry, healthy food, and then a frozen margarita machine. Make sure to like, subscribe, and put your post notifications on. Otherwise, I'm not going to continue doing this. Thanks,

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "What REALLY Happens When I Take My Family to Costco"?

Heather McDonald (Host), Drake (Guest).

What is "What REALLY Happens When I Take My Family to Costco" about?

The narrative explores a chaotic family outing to Costco, highlighting amusing interactions and the camaraderie of joint shopping experiences, while also weaving in a recent dining experience that sets the stage for the family trip. Key moments include playful banter over purchase decisions, reflections on memorable food from a recent event, and the joy of sharing the shopping journey together.

What is mentioned in this Heather McDonald episode?

5 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Costco, Dyson Airwrap, Juicy Scoop, Branzino, Pediature. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "What REALLY Happens When I Take My Family to Costco"?

The episode runs 20 min; the transcript is about 2,718 words in 72 timestamped sections.

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