Gary Vee Podcast with Heather Monahan

What this episode is about

Heather Monahan shares her journey from being a chief revenue officer to becoming a successful author and speaker after losing her corporate job, emphasizing the importance of asking for opportunities in life. The discussion highlights Monahan's experiences, including her recent TED talk and the impact of vulnerability in her storytelling, as well as the significance of authentic connections and feedback.

Key takeaways

• If you don't ask, you don't get—boldness opens doors even in the corporate jungle.
• Many fear asking; those like Heather thrive on it, transforming rejection into unforgettable brand recognition.
• Texting your entire address book for business leads? Genius! Sometimes, miracles come through just reaching out.
• Remember, audacity doesn't guarantee success. It guarantees memorability—good luck shaking off that 'crazy lady' label!
• Asking for a dance can feel scarier than a cold call. It’s fascinating how fear can switch gears.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Heather Monahan (Host) · 19 min speaking
• Gary Vaynerchuk (Host) · 13 min speaking

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 5:00: Confidence Creator, TED, Amazon
2. 5:00 – 10:00: Worcester
3. 15:00 – 20:00: Amazon
4. 25:00 – 30:00: Amazon

Notable quotes from "Gary Vee Podcast with Heather Monahan"

• Fired two years ago and when that happened I wrote in self published my first book confidence creator which Trump for number one in business biographies on Amazon have a…

  about Amazon · at 0:36

• Being a kid yeah were you in business oh yeah I mean I had a paper I was like wrote poor my mom was a sailor Worcester Mass oh yeah oh wait remember that's what I remember yeah…

  about Worcester · at 6:02

• Through the interview Elvis says well obviously you're writing a book and I said well obviously but I wasn't so I googled on the plane on the way home how do you read a book…

  about Confidence Creator · at 15:01

• Price great pricing great products this is hashtag not a net well Alice and I look at SAS you have to pay if you want to return it via UPS or whatever so I'm like I'm not gonna…

  about Saks · at 20:45

• And take a chance on me and I wasn't able to do that I got pushed out but I'm so glad now that I did and this TED talk that I did it's so ridiculous standing a little red…

  about TED · at 22:14

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Books & papers

• Confidence Creator — Book · Primary recommendation · 1 mention · first at 0:41
  Heather Monahan's self-published book that became number one in business biographies on Amazon, central to her personal brand and story.

Companies & orgs

• Amazon — Company · Business focus · 5 mentions · first at 0:44
  Mentioned as the platform where Heather Monahan's book became number one in business biographies, highlighting its role in her success.
• Saks — Company · Incidental · 4 mentions
  Mentioned in passing as part of a personal shopping experience story, not central to the discussion.

Places & events

• TED — Event · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at 0:49
  Heather Monahan's first TED talk is a significant milestone in her speaking career, mentioned as a recent achievement.
• Worcester — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 6:06
  Mentioned as part of Heather Monahan's childhood, providing context to her background.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 hey everybody welcome to a conversation on the podcast a format that it seems that a lot of people are liking and so we're gonna continue to do it I'm super excited about this interview because this is a great story about if you don't ask you don't get so I'm gonna let this lovely lady introduce herself and tell you who she is then I'll tell you how she got here and then we're gonna shoot the [ __ ] so I'm Heather Monahan I was formerly a chief revenue officer in corporate America for 14 years I got fired two years ago and when that happened I wrote in self published my first book confidence creator which Trump Trump for number one in business biographies on Amazon have a screenshot to prove that one and I've just been out now speaking I just did my first TED talk Saturday thank you and I'm just tearing it up so so I was on your podcast of myself oh you're welcome for that a couple months ago Heather and

1:05 then uh thank you and then at the end or in it or towards the end you're like can I be on yours and I said yep you can and the reason one we had a great I thought it was a great session on your podcast loved it yeah actually let's jump into that how was the feedback amazing I'm always the thing that stood out people said it was a different version of you because we talked a lot about family my grandmother like we really got into some different topics I think that typically people don't explore with you which is cool cool and so great energy to your point I did think it was it got into a lot of territories that were different and yeah I just you know it's funny I am favorably listening you've seen is Zayn who's sitting here asks me at a Q&A can I get a job I say yes he literally works here you've seen other things you know I say yes to and then and then I say no all the time like thousands and

1:58 thousands not thousands hundreds and hundreds of people have asked me in those kind of scenarios can I be on the podcast or this or that you can't get a shout on your social of the exact nature and I always feel super comfortable saying no or yes at but to the point and and something that I'd like to start talking about as a kickoff point before we go into a little more context on you and then anything else you want to talk about is how much how often do you ask for what you're looking for how is that worked for you and your career when did you develop it has it always been there I think you know I put out a piece of content recently where I told everybody to DM every to text everybody in their address book if they knew anybody that could give them business right so if you sell it you know I'm probably listening if you missed it if you sell t-shirts if you have an agency if you have you know a product a

2:49 book instead of texting everybody in your phone and I'm talking like starting with Aaron Anderson and ending with Zach czar Linton you know if you text everybody instead of saying hey can you buy my book you could say hey I have a new book Aaron do you know anybody who'd be interested in it which of course alludes to maybe them or maybe they actually do recommend somebody on it that really struck a chord and I've gotten hundreds of emails in the last three weeks of people that did it and had miraculous results like literally my landscaping business was about to go under I was going to like put everything on a credit card but I saw that clip text at 483 people and have 13 new clients and don't need to take out credit cards like so so much of why we're sitting here is you just had the audacity the strategy the balls the thoughtfulness whatever one wants to put in front of it to actually ask which is

3:44 something people are super fearful of uh how are you with that obviously you did it with me has it always been there has it not been there tell me about you with the relationship of asking that's my opening question this is funny so you know Zach that runs your speaker business Zach dabbler yes I do okay so my speaker Stockholm so I was on a conference call with Zach and I don't know Zach yep and I was gonna be interviewing Jesse it's learned Sara Blakely a month ago in Boston and so they had this calling me to like basically strategize how it would go and whatnot so I said listen Zach I don't know you but here's the thing I want to come out to biggie small more money more problem me and Jesse will go like Rhett rift this thing up and start rapping he's like excuse me ah no that's it we do it traditional amber ah but if you don't like think out of the box and then just bring it like whatever crazy heat you have you're

4:36 gonna get nothing I want it to be memorable like I want people to say holy cow like so did I get what I want no he don't respond to it which is fine but he will remember me forever cuz as soon as he saw me at hyper-growth he's like oh my god you're that crazy lady that wants to come out with Jesse rapping yes you know so like even if you don't get what you're going for you're gonna be remembered forever are you better at asking for things in business or in personal life or bloweth yeah me too I didn't mean to lay neither I I have so much less fear of knowing business than I did growing up with like girls I like so much more I still like live like thinking like why am i 13 and willing to like do actual business with 43 year olds but I'm like scared to ask like Stacey Johnson to the dance I'm the same same and by the way what's ironic about that is I actually have seen far more people the other way I always used to

5:30 think it was one in the same and like it was really funny to me to see like guys or gals that were good social life wise asking crippled by cold calling or cold emailing or asking which is why I asked you that I've come to realize Wow for some reason there's some sort of difference in those two worlds and I'm curious about who stinks at both who's great at both and then who's good at one or the other and which one I wish I was good at my personal life now what was your what was the most business seat thing you did when you grew up most being a kid yeah were you in business oh yeah I mean I had a paper I was like wrote poor my mom was a sailor Worcester Mass oh yeah oh wait remember that's what I remember yeah so no I had a paper route since I was nine I worked at fast food restaurants I was you know busboy at like diners you know I just always worked and so what about entrepreneurship versus job obviously

6:24 were CRO now you've got fired you're doing your own thing yeah it's crazy it was because you know a lot of people that grow up with that versity single mom having to work love the stability of a real serious job yes you bad love that I never thought about being an entrepreneur that was crazy yeah can you tell the kids that are listening that you know neither one of us are under 25 so I know right so so like how much weeding grow up with entrepreneurship even being an option no you're the poster boy for the entrepreneurial world but that didn't exist when we were kids everyone was in corporate America I didn't even know there was such a thing like that wasn't that wasn't something somebody talked about yeah like the only way you heard it is like oh they own their own business you would not mine use the word entrepreneur now and as a matter of fact the word entrepreneur the few times I did hear it usually meant rich kid who

7:18 does nothing and parents are pink oh really it's really interesting like that's how I recall it like four or five guys that I can think of growing up as 16 22 21 like they would have like a card that was like I'm an entrepreneur and I was like what does that mean and basically then somebody else when they would leave be like oh they just live on the beach PhD Papa has dealership yes yeah that was I mean that was the entrepreneur back in the day what are you most thinking about these days like what do you what is your business today well right now my number one revenue stream is a speaking business which is insane I can't believe how much I'm like I get paid it's very crazy it's so exciting I wish I had known about this how many times did you speak for free if ever I just won't for free the freaking day know that I know there's I'm talking about prior to getting paid or was your first career for 20 years in corporate

8:07 America I write a sales leader for every day I spoke you're speaking to your team but happen after you got fired actually tell that quick story before we run out of time the framework of what I recall from our podcast and really where you go you had this big gig you got fired yeah had to make an adjustment yeah I know that was the scariest thing because I wasn't I wasn't comfortable with that unknown space like how you are you've you know you've always been in this year that's my world for me that was never my world I like that safe I I was tricking myself I thought it was really safe being in corporate America which is [ __ ] because any company can be sold tomorrow and you only have your brand in you and your experiences in your network so you are not safe unless you are actually doing it I feel so much safer now that I've worked for selcas you're in control I'm in control I trust my boss you know like I am NOT

8:54 gonna sell the company I'm good you know and just it's such as it's a seismic shift it's think about how I what's the first thing you thought so you get haven't you fired in person yeah and a two minute meeting with HR so that no with the CEO the CEO I had worked on her for 14 years became ill he elevated his daughter to replace him and she immediately said come over I need to have a meeting with you and she basically passed two memos in front of me and said I don't need a chief revenue officer anymore I don't need you which memo would you like to sign and once that Heather Monaghan's been fired and the other one said you know Heather Monaghan a wonderful employee blah blah blah but I knew this wasn't my first rodeo I knew those did you have any relationship with her well Roger she was the CFO and I was a CRO and we were like she wanted to cut everything and I want to spend every I got it of course that

9:44 means but I never know what she called you over it was kaput skis or did you call she's a smart woman yes she's very analytical and she's a CFO she's bright she's the antithesis of me but I got if she knew like he gave me a job I'm not gonna fire her right I figured she was gonna rough me up a little you know - or trying to get aligned yeah right and surely shocked I was crying I mean I cried the whole route three hour ride home did you did you do you have it in you in that scenario like what's funny about me is every time anything happens I start the process of worst-case scenario Dustin emails me and says I need three minutes with you the first this is real it's just it just happened the first thing I think is I hope he's not sick like I go so funny I go into like what's the worst that can happen I hope he's not sick I hope something telling we R didn't happen like you know like John did something weird to him and it needs

10:40 to go to HR that's the next to me it's in this order something that person or their family is sick next something like super politically incorrect legal sexual harassment that's the next worst thing third is a good employees wants to leave so if like a good employee says I need to see you that's the third thing I think but like that's all I think I don't think like oh it's gonna be a five minute check-in but this is by the way everyone who's listening this is the [ __ ] I boning your [ __ ] like this is actually the way you think this is why it's interesting what you like it's crazy to me but it makes so much sense which is why I'm jumping on this point I'd never really thought about this the only thing I would have thought when she wanted to see me is I'm getting fired but what I just realized based on your reaction literally just hit me is like right when you're completely accountable

11:26 to yourself which is what you're figuring out now all the greatness of loving your boss and feeling safe the [ __ ] part is the way my brain actually works listen to what I'm telling you every time anyone reaches out to me in order I think about terminal illness for them or their one loved one sexual harassment or stealing or something horrible third is they're leaving and we value them that is literally the order that my head goes then it's like hey Gary can we get 500 bucks for a TGIF Friday's party next Thursday for the team I'm like yes oh that's why I'm always in a good mood when it's anything but three and the third one's not even that scary because genuinely on the record for anybody from Vayner that hears this if one feels like they're ready to move on I want to help them it's the first two that scared the [ __ ] out of me and always what I think every time a client reaches out we're

12:16 getting fired never we're getting more growth of business macro I'm optimistic macro I'm like we're gonna win we're the best micro micro I'm not that means something big I don't know what it is enough let me tell you but it's gone let me tell you let me tell you what it means in your world when you're walking in there micro she's about to [ __ ] fire me macro I'm [ __ ] a capable human being I'm gonna [ __ ] figure it out whether I'm gonna get another [ __ ] job that's gonna pay me more Orma to start my own career in [ __ ] speak at TEDx got it yeah I was but I was the opposite of that I understand that's which is what I'm thinking of why I'm saying this so aggressively is cuz there's two people listening right now in this show in the framework of business entrepreneurs and employees and it's like an interesting debate for people that are like for example there's a lot of people that are employees right

13:06 now that are thinking about making the jump where they listen to what I just said and are saying do I want to live a life where I have to always be that on and anxious at all times cuz yes I'm a firefighter like what's amazing about your life right now is you're in control what's terrible is you're in control right like if you decide to chill this morning like if Dustin isn't I'm just looking at him if that's just like not feeling it today and I'm like pumped all the time and have days when you wake up and you're just not fully feeling it one could argue that you can call out sick you can lollygag your day you can for me that's that like I'm like oh the reason I haven't had a sick day in nine years is that's more scary than the lollygag obviously if I run 105 fever I'm willing to stay home but all those days I mean I call that a school thirteen to twenty three times a year I made pretend it was

13:58 sick thirteen times a year once I figured out in high school that the nurse had to send you home if you weren't willing to go back to class legally it was over I just laid there until they sent me home I'm like I'm nauseous I'm unconscious I feel weird I'm anxious they get me out of here and then the best part was I'd go outside my mom would have to pick me up freshman sophomore year and junior year before I got my car and literally I would never look at her because like a second I would look at her eyes I would just start laughing cuz we both knew the gig anyway not to me not to tell you what happens you cry all the way home and then what I went under a weighted blanket grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay and then I did somehow was a Chardonnay oh it wasn't empathy and you know how it was but how was it oh it was good good okay all right so here's the thing though I did something super smart and I

14:42 had never done it I posted on social media that I just got fired I just was vulnerable and I just said I need your needed something I needed help I didn't know what to do and it was crazy froggie from the Elvis Duran show tweeted at me I want to help use their anyway can help you and I wrote and I treated back yeah book me on Elvis he booked me right away to go on The Ellen Show I went on the show and halfway through the interview Elvis says well obviously you're writing a book and I said well obviously but I wasn't so I googled on the plane on the way home how do you read a book and it says just right so I was like I can do that so I just went home and I just started writing and writing and then you know it took like two months and I was done with my book did you debate self-publishing because I heard you earlier say that versus getting a book deal was the book deal too long and drawn-out

15:24 and you wanted to get it out speed to market so you know obviously with my history and business I knew Veta market is critical yeah and I've got to move fast and I'm gonna move so much faster than some traditional publishing house so I'm gonna come did you consider getting a job like going back to a job yes so I decided I had to sign a non-compete when I took the chief revenue officer position so for one year I couldn't go back to media yeah so I thought to myself if I'm gonna start over as a rookie somewhere why wouldn't I roll the dice on me versus you know if I'm gonna go do something new so what happened next you write the book so I write the book and then I Google how do you promote a book and you speak to promote a book so it's like oh that's easy I already know how to speak I didn't know there was a speaking business I had no idea me neither before I got into it it's so crazy to me I always think how many

16:11 other things do we not know about that we could be very comfortable amount so that's what's so excited I mean that's my entire thesis when there was some gal in line and this speech I gave and she's like Gary I know your thesis of tastings in your 20s and figure out what you love or what you're great at or what there's much what did your point and she's like but I've done all that like what do I do and I looked at her she was from Belarus too so I was like you know kind of like from the homeland I'm like let me get this straight you've decided that you've done everything on earth and you now know everything it was just it was funny to watch her like realize oh I've only done nine things and there's nine billion things there's so many things well it's like I was just mentioning to you Marcia Kilgore how she's disrupted the beauty business look at that this is someone who has been in the beauty business for

16:57 a couple of decades and one day just said hey I'm gonna flip this whole model upside down now it just challenges me to think how can I flip everything upside down everything is in play cuz the internet bookstores and limos are just the first ones everything every single thing is vulnerable everything everything what do you want it everybody who's listening like you like eyelash extensions vulnerable you like ice cream vulnerable you like kindergarten vulnerable literally this is why I like people you know sometimes struggle to understand what I'm saying all of it the answer is yes there's nothing that is protected Amazon is vulnerable I'm telling you right now let me explain what I mean by that if you ask me give me a top ten great idea to start a business right now one of them is to start a local bookstore that's shocking I that's why I'm making a point of it I believe that we are at enough scale of

17:52 books being delivered by Amazon that the counter move is now up for debate that if you build a trendy coffee we were key co-working kind of vibe II dry bar Sephora rad [ __ ] bookstore that people will go that if you make it experiential and have another variable but people pay the extra dollars that are more than Amazon to be there I don't know I I have so I had the TED talk I ordered like seven dresses online cuz when you're a woman you have to really think about what you're gonna wear first what about madness no it's not as big a deal for a man it's not you're not gonna be scrutinized the way that I would be I think it's time that we start having counter debates of where we have some men are like wildly focused on what they're wearing they're not gonna be scrutinized oh well maybe not yeah I mean everyone's gonna talk about what I wore like it's too sexy or it's not she's not the why but why does that

18:50 matter I don't know it matters in a woman's head they just it does are the things women think about men think about how much money they make how tall they are men think about a lot of things - what I'm not making a men women thing I'm making it a how do you eliminate that because then you go fast no move out of Miami that's what I should do to eliminate that or just not value people's opinions pro or con here right you all right I want that for you because I want that for everybody I want I want yeah forever I went to the Knicks game last night and had 400,000 it was my friend said me holy [ __ ] you're more popular than every Nick and when I tell you that I can't even feel it I can't which is why I can handle the next morning when somebody wrote a blog post to say that I'm trying to exploit this sports car to industry because tops pay me $25,000 to curate a set like you know you need to be able to I really

19:41 want this for you and I have a lot of empathy when you talk about women's appearance like like the enormity of DMS that I get from women that say look easy for you like I spent 40 years before I go on film and I'm like look there's so many like I under stand that historical truths you know men and women are different there's a million things that go into that but there are so many men that are shy to go on camera because of their looks and there are so many women that are not and vice versa sorry and and and I'm just trying to get everybody into a mindset of happiness which is actually truth of elimination of judgment but nonetheless you might also enjoy it like it just might be fun for you subconsciously to go through seven dresses no maybe not absolutely pure hell understood the whole this is not why I was here where we tell me okay the whole point is that so I had to order all these dresses because I want

20:34 to get the right outfit and Drive myself crazy but then I I got in these dresses from Saks and I look at I usually order from revolve which is a customer center business right so it's easy to do business Don return stuff also great price great pricing great products this is hashtag not a net well Alice and I look at SAS you have to pay if you want to return it via UPS or whatever so I'm like I'm not gonna do that I'll bring it into the store because you know that's just principle it's wrong so I bring it into the store I hadn't been in the store a long time the guy literally is like listen here's my card with a guy that works at the desk there's no one in the store and he said here's my card next time you order online if you can just include this code now I'll get a commission and I thought to myself this model is so freakin broken that this poor sales guy is like begging for someone to you know use their code so

21:22 that they can make a dollar off of something that these tough people come in the store and you know what that model is just broken yeah I mean that suck that whole experience that you just like horror I would never go to Saks again if somebody asked me that horrible experience no no I'm not mad at Saks I'm just mad at the whole thing I feel bad for the guy well obviously it's not I mean they're not training their people I mean there's so many issues there the customers not the focus is it's all broken yeah before we head out because we don't that much time what is what's on your mind what do you want to share with the audience what do you talk about this oh my gosh stepping into fear because I was paralyzed by fear for so long I knew that lady didn't like me when I was working there but I would just ignore it all the time you know chipped away at me my contour chipped away it like my potential

22:08 you rolled yourself in a situation at some point you have to look in the mirror and say like enough is enough yeah I've got it like just go out there and take a chance on me and I I wasn't able to do that I got pushed out but I'm so glad now that I did and this TED talk that I did it's so ridiculous standing a little red circle and having a ticker going off for 10 minutes it was the one most stressful things I've done but once you're done with it it's like I said to myself right when I was walking out there maybe I'm gonna bomb right now I don't know cuz this is not like anything I've ever done but I'm gonna love me so much more like when I get off the stage when I walked out there sure and so what since the fear professionally have you stepped in - oh my gosh everything left my fiancee that I've been in a relationship with for eight years so that was like massive yeah it's like a domino effect for sure of you know

22:57 different things that have occurred and I keep like pushing myself to try different things and like go to that talk to me about your so speaking as a core thing for you yeah that's my number one thing so let's talk about personal brand building which would lead to more speaking gigs yeah what are you doing content wise how are you thinking about them not doing a good job of that I need a d-roc in my life I mean that's definitely the next investment Ronnie heart is not the punchline it's it's the strategy that makes you comfortable with it but you can have a d-roc you can you strategy but if you don't have the team to execute it and could have a team well where do you want to make your investment I mean that's what you've got I respect you you need you're saying it's a financial office hundred percent does that's a different initial question do you believe if you tweeted much like you tweeted I got fired yeah that I'm

23:43 looking for an intern for a very low cost but I'll but you'll get the skill set to do the d-roc thing and can you afford it whether you're a super hungry and you think it's strategically right because you get close to me or be you just come from highly wealthy parents who are gonna subsidize your life during this time and you want the experience do you feel like you get that person you're right how was it that's a good point okay let's so that's that let's put that on the shelf what app what else are you doing on content where are you on LinkedIn oh I kill unlink tell me well how often you post what do you post how are you thinking about it you know what I don't strata tell the truth because I want really want to help you and he's like final minute thank you how often do you post on LinkedIn okay once a day yeah Rinne well I do videos but then my viral pose like I've had millions of views on my

24:31 post it's always nine professional pictures of like that's the recipe for whatever reason and sharing something vulnerable those ones go viral for me have you have you tried to use LinkedIn like Twitter I've been thinking about this a lot no I've been thinking about the notion of LinkedIn's algorithm is highly organic right now and one or two sentences of thoughtful business chatter three or four sentences on the fly like you're going down the elevator now after this podcast and we talked about something that you thought about and be like literally here's literally the LinkedIn post just did a podcast made me really think about you know what the things I continue to say no to that are actually yeses I just need to look at them from a different angle is when I always challenge myself or because I think what I'm good at and giving advice for hey um that is a LinkedIn post would take you 39 seconds I think you should

25:27 be posting based on what you're trying to achieve in your career eight to 15 times a day in LinkedIn get out of here and that's not gonna be overkill you don't think no bamming people know because people aren't gonna see it all right but people who understand is the algorithm the thing that people haven't figured out is the algorithm is on the side of the person that's consuming it not on the side of the person that's making it interesting so the algorithm is gonna you know who it's gonna over kill the 49 people on earth that think you're the greatest thing of all time and we're gonna see all that that's gonna be pumped right I'd like to get 49 piece of content from Randy in the Macho Man Savage in 1988 every day of my life you know so no that's why the algorithms work people blame the algorithms like [ __ ] you a little bit I'm like the algorithm is there for the people it's consumer-centric the reason algorithms

26:12 work is cuz it's a consumer centric if you think I'm rad you're gonna see me cuz you're gonna slow down when you're consuming it you're gonna consume you're gonna like you're gonna comment and that's an indicator that you're gonna see it do you respond to haters when they post on yeah you do not owing right now the sheer volume between text messages social email that I'm getting is unsustainable even if I did it for 18 hours a day but I'm very I am thirty minute uh 30 minute coffee this morning with a gentleman who uh I wouldn't call my hater but was aggressively pushing back against me on social and we had a lovely conversation about like marketing and how we see it differently I get a lot of value I mean look there's people that are making up stuff the kid that wrote the article today about me in the sports card world made up stuff cuz I posted a photo of a box of cards yesterday which I did for my friend that

27:06 runs stock acts Josh as a friendly gesture he's turned it into this highly like hidden compensate I mean people are delusional okay so that I don't get a lot of value out of lying or mean hate if somebody you know haters that pick on women and use sexual and you're not gonna there's no engagement they're people that are like Gary you're a charlatan like like you're full of [ __ ] you've like what have you ever done I'm comfortable jumping in be like hey I understand you may not like the Instagram videos or I might come across too aggressive but like on that point of what have I ever done I do think there should be a discussion of like I've built two massive businesses like and to that point that might be a framework to a conversation if their reply to use like [ __ ] you [ __ ] then I'm like okay this needs to move on if they're like okay that makes sense I didn't realize that then I then I'll come back and be

27:57 like hey what about you like what do you do like I'm I'm very capable of dealing with negativity because I come I come at it from compassion and empathy they don't know me right everybody in this room doesn't know me and I know least least we hang out with me a lot and have a lot of access to me they'll fully know me who knows you so when people are casting judgment like this is why I don't take compliments high either that's hard that is really but you have to train yourself to do that well this is why you know I look at I look at like there's a couple things that people really struggle with if you're attractive as a guy or gal inevitably you're in trouble because you grew up in a life where people told you were attractive and you took that in if you had high success in school if you had high success in sport you know by not being an attractive scholar or athlete I had none of those over things and so

28:46 what actually gave me reinforcement was the end market nobody complimented me except the results of my little businesses so I became market driven not people's opinions driven my foot now got it yeah that's what I've self analyzed so that's what I'm looking for everybody else to do forget about individual opinions what's the score say do people like I always tell people do the people that know you best like you see my thing is there's so many people out there that are admired but if you look carefully their inner circles garbage that's sad well that's a lot of people that people think are awesome like a lot of people that get exposed later in the news like bad ship me to fraud to go to jail if you look carefully right you can be like why don't things happen inner circle why aren't there people there for a long time that's creepy like I'm like why do I have people around me forever like like it's not super complicated like

29:36 people get confused and then the reverse so to me I'd rather the people that know me the best admire me the most and the people that don't know me at all and are insecure and upset with themselves hate me the most absolutely that's the game done fear is real you need to challenge yourself in my opinion to play that exact frit you are not naturally that person just like I'm not naturally workout well like it's really fun to think I don't do radical candor well because I hate micro negativity which has led to all my vulnerabilities that's what I'm working on you need to [ __ ] go all-in on everything that is judgement I love that that's the game for you Erin I'm in final point yeah but you get the floor for last 30 to 60 seconds fear is a liar and confidence is the one thing that can change everything for anyone and it's a choice it's not something you're born with it is a practice right it's a discipline and

30:36 it's a decision every day when you wake up but it's the game changer I'm gonna add and I apologize and you get the last word but I'm not [ __ ] maniac I'm completely flawed it just made me think of something judge the judge er a couple of new big executives have come to Boehner and they're like wow this place is [ __ ] amazing and I'm like why and both said the same thing they said after six months they're like you don't just blindly take content and context from people you actually 360th and I'm like what do you mean they're like well a couple weeks ago I told you Sally Magoo sucked and you came back a week later and said you have a wrong perspective because you only took it from one person's point of view and you were right after I did the homework judge the judge or my friends if somebody says you're ugly you have to decide who that person is including your mom including your dad ABS most

31:29 importantly those people because those people are coming from their their own Challenger they're still right people get feedback and I'm stupid I'm like because Ricky Magoo said your stupid judge the judge er that's the easiest way to get into a fear-based here's my framework I don't let anybody else's opinion override my own judge the judger and when I lose because there is no judge her it's just the market my book didn't sell my sports car didn't sell my business did bad we got fired I accept it I own it when the market says you lost you have to own it it's like sports either you lost or you're one and when you lose you have to accept it and but anything that's a subjective judgment judge the judge er that's how you get a relationship with fear so good awesome thanks for being on thank you bye awesome that was really cool thank you

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Gary Vee Podcast with Heather Monahan"?

Heather Monahan (Host), Gary Vaynerchuk (Host).

What is "Gary Vee Podcast with Heather Monahan" about?

Heather Monahan shares her journey from being a chief revenue officer to becoming a successful author and speaker after losing her corporate job, emphasizing the importance of asking for opportunities in life. The discussion highlights Monahan's experiences, including her recent TED talk and the impact of vulnerability in her storytelling, as well as the significance of authentic connections and…

What is mentioned in this Heather Monahan episode?

5 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Confidence Creator, TED, Amazon, Saks, Worcester. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Gary Vee Podcast with Heather Monahan"?

The episode runs 32 min; the transcript is about 6,937 words in 38 timestamped sections.

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