Transcript

Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)

From How Did This Get Made? · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 57 min · 12,172 words · 327 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)", an episode of How Did This Get Made? published August 26, 2025 (57 min, about 12,172 words). It mentions 12 people, works and ideas, including Bruce Willis, How Did This Get Made, Danny Aiello, Hudson Hawk, Andy McDowell.

What this episode is about

The conversation centers on the film "Hudson Hawk," featuring Bruce Willis, exploring its multifaceted genre elements—comedy, mystery, action, drama, and musical. The hosts, along with guest Emily Gordon, delve into the film's perceived failures and the broader implications of its artistic choices, questioning how such a unique and flawed work came to be.

Key takeaways

  • Bruce Willis' five earrings represent an era when vanity clashed hilariously with cinematic ambition.
  • This film is a chaotic blend of genres; it's both a mystery and a cartoon—without a plot!
  • Every actor seemed to think they were in a different movie, creating a perfect storm of mediocrity.
  • KitKat's CIA disguise strategy? Dress like your targets. If only he had a clue about espionage!
  • When candy bar names are the high point, you know the plot’s a sugar crash waiting to happen.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 5:00: Bruce Willis, How Did This Get Made, Emily Gordon, Hudson Hawk
  2. – 10:00: Bruce Willis, Andy McDowell, Hudson Hawk, Vatican
  3. – 15:00: Da Vinci, Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Vatican
  4. – 20:00: Da Vinci, Bruce Willis
  5. – 25:00: Nintendo, Vatican, Bruce Willis, Andy McDowell
  6. – 30:00: Bruce Willis, Vatican
  7. – 35:00: Vatican, Bruce Willis, How Did This Get Made
  8. – 40:00: Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk, Richard E. Grant, Sandra Bernhard
  9. – 45:00: Bruce Willis, Andy McDowell, Hudson Hawk, Mario Brothers
  10. – 50:00: Hudson Hawk, Danny Aiello, Da Vinci, Nintendo
  11. – 55:00: Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk, Richard E. Grant
  12. – 56:38: Emily Gordon, Hudson Hawk

Notable quotes from "Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)"

  • Remember that time Bruce Willis used to wear five earrings? We do. We saw Hudson Hawk, so you know what that means.
    about Bruce Willis · at
  • We have a very special guest today. you know her from her podcast, The Indoor Kids, all about video games. It's awesome. please welcome Emily Gordon. Welcome, Emily.
    about Emily Gordon · at
  • I felt like every I felt like Richard Eye Grant and Sandra Burner. I felt like James Cobbert. I felt like everybody was You know what? We're [ __ ] killing this.
    about Sandra Bernhard · at
  • Bruce Willis wrote this movie. it was based on a song that him and this guy, I believe Robert Craft is his name.
    about Hudson Hawk · at
  • Which robbery are you talking about? The first robbery, right? Oh, by the way, this they're robbing a place that they're robbing a gallery that behind their famous paintings they have a safe, which I thought was a weird touch.
    about Vatican · at
  • A lot of people wrote in that you look exactly like Da Vinci. will post a picture on the website so you can see it there. You know what audience I do not.
    about Richard E. Grant · at
  • We haven't even talked about Andy McDow's Dolphin.
    about Andy McDowell · at
  • We think that Danny Yellow has died in this movie. only to realize that he is come back and we want to just play the Denny Dyello's comeback moment. Here we go.
    about Danny Aiello · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Bruce Willis — Person · Primary referenced creator/lead actor (Hudson Hawk) · 23 mentions · first at
    Central figure in the episode’s critique: discussed as the star, co-writer, and driving force behind the film’s tone, jokes, and musical elements.
  • Danny Aiello — Person · Referenced actor/co-star (Hudson Hawk) · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as Willis’s co-star and singing partner in the film; repeatedly referenced in scenes, jokes, and Willis’s later defense of the movie.
  • Andy McDowell — Person · Referenced actor/romantic lead (Hudson Hawk) · 3 mentions · first at
    Discussed for her character’s odd reveal as a nun, romantic scenes with Willis, and the infamous “dolphin noises” bit; also referenced via Caruso’s mimic costume gag.
  • Emily Gordon — Person · Guest (podcaster) · 2 mentions · first at
    Featured guest who joins the hosts to discuss and joke about Hudson Hawk; introduced for her podcast The Indoor Kids and contributes analysis and bits throughout.
  • Richard E. Grant — Person · Referenced actor/villain (Hudson Hawk) · 3 mentions · first at
    Highlighted as one of the film’s villains; praised for commitment and “on tone” performance, and cited for reporting production chaos (rewrites) in his book.
  • Sandra Bernhard — Person · Referenced actor/villain (Hudson Hawk) · 2 mentions · first at
    Discussed as the co-villain alongside Richard E. Grant; repeatedly noted for scene-stealing, bombastic performance and memorable lines.
  • Da Vinci — Person · Referenced historical figure used as plot device (Hudson Hawk) · 9 mentions · first at
    Leonardo da Vinci is invoked as the film’s alchemy/macguffin backbone (gold machine, codex, lab); also used for jokes about the opening sequence and “Da Vinci tropes.”
    How about this? How about when Da Vinci enters his lab and cracks his knuckles?

Books & papers

  • Hudson Hawk — Book · Referenced work · 9 mentions · first at
    Discussed as the basis for the movie 'Hudson Hawk', which is the main topic of the podcast episode.

Concepts & topics

  • Nintendo — Concept · Referenced concept · 4 mentions · first at
    Discussed in relation to the 'Hudson Hawk' video game and its release on Nintendo platforms.
    Yeah. It was released for the Commodore 64, Amigga, ZX Spectrum, and Atari as well as the NES and Game Boy. and it's like the By the way, what kid is going I love the movie. I want to.
  • Mario Brothers — Concept · Referenced concept · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in the context of the movie 'Hudson Hawk' and its connection to video games.
    Been in jail for such a long century like 10 years on this and he goes I don't even know what Nintendo is and Nintendo comes in, Mario Brothers comes in.

Places & events

  • Vatican — Place · Setting · 7 mentions · first at
    One of the locations where the movie 'Hudson Hawk' is set, specifically where a heist takes place.

Media & podcasts

  • How Did This Get Made — Media · Host podcast · 2 mentions · first at
    The podcast where the discussion about the movie 'Hudson Hawk' takes place.
    Now it's time for this. We're going to have a good time celebrating some failure, not just a hater, cuz you know you wonder how this wall in the mediocrity of some art.

Full transcript with timestamps

Remember that time Bruce Willis used to wear five earrings? We do. We saw Hudson Hawk, so you know what that means.

Now it's time for this. We're going to have a good time celebrating some failure, not just a hater, cuz you know you wonder how this wall in the mediocrity of some art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am Paul Shear joined as always by my two co-hosts, Jason Manukas. How are you, Jason?

I'm good, Paul. How are you? Very good. And Miss June Diane Rael. Am I getting that right?

Yeah, that's correct. Thanks. Okay, great. Uh, as always, we have a very special guest with us.

Miss Miss June Diane. Yeah. Oh, that's just like our Twitter Twitter handle. MS. You got that.

Yeah. Okay, cool. Cool. I'm just just uh just sussing that up for myself. We have a very special guest today. Uh, you know her from her podcast, The Indoor Kids, all about video games. It's uh, awesome. Uh, please welcome Emily Gordon. Welcome, Emily.

Hello. Hi, everybody. Welcome. I like the one hand clap. I know. It was right there.

You got to You got You got to clap. You got to Well, I'll say this. Very few claps I ever had.

We never give a clap. It wasn't like not a a clap. You didn't make a conscious choice.

No, that was the most that anyone's got. It really was like I I like you should appreciate that Paul had an involuntary response which was to applaud your being here and that June and I looked at him and said what are you doing? No.

Yeah. They were not going to give it up. We don't want you to get too cocky. Yeah. I I be like I love LA. How's LA doing tonight? Anybody smoke weed? And then see what I can get from that. I love cheap.

Guys, let's talk about this movie because first of all, what the hell is it? Is it a comedy? Is it a mystery? Is it an action movie? A drama? A musical?

I think it's a cartoon that is just with real people in it. That's that's what there's lots of like very Looney Tunes like head bonks and like whenever stuff like punches and stuff. It's very like the sound effects are crazy.

Yeah, it's a bit much. I couldn't quite tell though if that was a decision made before like after the movie was shot because they like

or did Bruce Willis write them in cuz he wrote this movie. I think they were already in because if you'll remember the scene where by the way I have no idea what happens in this movie. I just wrote down words like

Mario Brothers May Flowers Da Vinci like I do not know the plot of this movie but there's one scene where someone punches him and he sort of folds in two and he comes back up and then he folds again.

Oh yeah. And like the paralysis scene there's a lot of physical comedy that is very kind of um

so I think that's the tone they were going. I think so too. I agree. Uh, I will say that everything about this movie is like a vanity project gone horribly wrong. Yes. Because I don't think anyone was on the same page. I feel like Bruce Willis was doing something

and everyone else was doing something too. And we were talking about this before this started. Like

I think everyone was committing 100%. No doubt. You tried really hard and everybody I felt like was like, you know what, we're really nailing it.

I felt like every I felt like Richard Eye Grant and Sandra Burner. I felt like James Cobbert. I felt like everybody was like, "You know what? We're [ __ ] killing this."

Caruso killed it so hard. Caruso was unbelievable. And by that, I mean he was horrible.

David Caruso plays a mute named KitKat who is working for the CIA. All the CIA characters have candy bar names. We can get into that later. Um,

or not. Who gives a [ __ ] I think that's it. I think that's all you need to hear.

I keep on going. Not only do they have candy bar names, but they are all eating the candy bars they are named after constantly at the auction. Their introduction there before they are named, their introduction is he looks around and notices there are five people eating candy bars in in an auction where there are also like five shakes.

But I thought that that's how they got their names. Well, they had other names before and then they had other names.

So, you might be right. Maybe that's cuz it's their preference of candy. I like my name. But then they still have to eat them.

They don't have to. It's just like that's the candy they like. Guess what? If you're an undercover CIA agent at an incredibly fancy hundred million dollar auction, guess what you don't do? Pull out store-bought candy and start chomping on it like you're a goddamn [ __ ]

Vendor truffles. And you have to be living. Yeah. Yeah. Like a pharaoh Rocher. See uh the guy who

I thought that's the fanciest candy in the world to us. That and tolerone the classic candy.

Those are the candies that like your parents brought you back from like the duty free shops when they went on an international trip.

Candy and sometimes an Andes mint. Uh, but let me ask you a question about Kit Kat because Kit Kat's defining CIA trait is that he dresses up as

he's a mimic. A mimic, but he's not a good He's not only a mimic, but he is an incidental mimic. Like he just incidentally arrives on the scene wearing exactly what one of the two people in the scene is wearing. either Bruce Willis or the one that truly blew my mind is when he was dressed as Andy McDow. Yes. When he shows up, when he escort escorts her out in Italy in a matching red dress and a wig like hers,

how could he have known? What is this movie? The CIA is like, "So, would are you going to be Andy McDow at any point?" No.

No. He's like, "Oh, this will be fun. I'll dress up like the people we're working with, but I'm not going to use that to any advantage, tactical." None of it. The only thing he does to any advantage is say is is say to Bruce Willis via card cuz he doesn't speak, "Watch out for the blue wire."

Right. And by the way, so he has to communicate through business cards, but the business cards are so utterly specific

and they're pre-typed. Yes, you guys. That's the big That's the There's so much in this movie that like it's like there there are pieces of this movie that have a toys like logic towards the movie. um that that is completely unfounded and unwarranted. Like toys lived in a fantasy world and everything obeyed that reality.

How when they fall out of the sky, they land on chairs. Oh, yes. One or when they fall when they jump off of like a twotory building and land on a marble marble like like slab. It looks really hard. They're just like totally fine.

But it's juxtaposed with scenes of brutal violence, people getting shot in the head, head cut off. Like it's so it's like they didn't con like they didn't stick that landing. Like I'm okay with a Three Stooges movie, but never in the Three Stooges do you see someone get their heads cut off. I felt like Bruce Willis was like let's do Die Hard with Three Stooges plus Bugs Bunny plus Dainci plus the Vatican. Andy McDow's a nun and I get to sing a song. It feels like they were writing this movie on set like we'll sing a song now. Yeah, put it in new script pages. New script pages

because guess what? cat burglars should be doing while they're robbing of an auction house is audibly singing.

This is my theory. My theory of the movie is that uh Bruce Willis has a band called Bruce Willis and the Accelerators.

Oh, I had the album when I was a kid. I mean, the uh what's the return of Bruno?

Yeah. And my theory is that he wanted to make a movie where he could sing and yet not have it be like a a quote unquote fruity musical. And so he was like, I need to make an action movie with some humor. Not enough singing.

I I agree. I could have used more. I'll tell you what, I enjoyed that scene. Swing on a star. Swing on a star. Yeah,

it actually was quite enjoyable. Even though it didn't make any sense whatsoever.

Not. Oh, heavens know. But I did think here's the thing. And I did I enjoyed the

the concept that they could they would time the robbery because they knew the length of certain songs.

I I agree with you on this, but I'm going to just throw one wrench into this. That would require them to sing the entire time. Yes, together they don't do

they stop for harmonies or they or they stop for solos. So if I'm in another set of the museum and I'm just pausing.

You're still counting at that point. I think they're still counting. Yeah. Okay. Regardless though, it would be one thing if they both put on a little transistor radio headset and listened to the song. But they are singing out loud while catber burgling and dancing. Oh, and uh by the way, I'm gonna say one thing before I play this clip of them actually singing because I think you need to hear it. This movie is based on a song.

What? Yes. Come again. Um Bruce Willis wrote this movie. Um it was based on a song that him and this guy, I believe Robert Craft is his name. Uh they wrote a song together called

Oh. called Hudson Hawk. That's called Hudson Hawk. That's the one that plays over the end credits. Yes. Yeah.

So that that so basically that song bred this movie. Now here's a song. Now, here's them singing. Take a listen.

He does have a nice He does. If you like someone whispering a song. I do. I do.

I guess I do, too. And so, they do this long musical. They do this long, long sequence. Now, here's my issue with that sequence. It was a kind of again I agree cool premise that they they know the the the beats and everything like that but then Bruce Willis is the sloppiest cat burglar because

not only does he rob the safe but then he leaves everything open and really unattended.

Very unattended. Very unattended. There's no which robbery are you talking about? The first robbery, right? Oh, by the way, this they're robbing a place that they're robbing a gallery that that behind their famous paintings they have a safe, which I thought was a a weird touch.

Paintings are they just are covers for safe. That's how that's the way museums painting and then behind most museums most museums have upwards of 2,000 safes on the walls.

That's all. And and it's just because it's just behind every painting is a safe.

Yeah. It's like a safety deposit box, but it's an arty. There may not be anything in them, but they're always there.

He is They are The action in this movie is so like um deeply flawed. Uh like like I mean the action like the heist specifics like he seems so able to do everything needed in a heist within no time at all. He gets from the basement to the roof, from the roof to the gallery. He opens this. All he has to do is put a lockpick three inches from a lock and the door is like open. It's like it is very bizarre how easy it is to rob the most complex organizations.

He robs the Vatican at one point. Spoiler alert. And uh and with with ease. He was in there for roughly 3 to four minutes

and he had roughly an hour of prep. Like he got to Italy. He woke up in a giant suitcase. Excuse me. He woke up in a giant suitcase

stuffed with peanuts shipped to Italy. Why? Why did they need to ship him to Italy in a box?

Cuz he would have fought. He would have fought the whole way. But why not just knock him out?

Passed out. Yeah, but I'm assuming they put him in cargo. Yes. Oh, for sure. Yeah, cuz he was in the peanuts. He was in the packing peanuts,

guys. What? There would so many eyebrows would have been raised if they tried to like get him

and knocked out Bruce Willis. You're not going to get that. You're not going to get that.

He and Danny Ayella were singing that song. They he gets the horse. Then they start singing it just fullthroated. Yes. And then they they come together.

Well done. We did this. They come together and they're laughing and they're dancing

and they're in still they're still in the auction house. They're in the middle of the robbery like like he decides

they're not at the end. They're in the middle but are celebrating the [ __ ] out of there. They don't know that

they knew they had a very short time interval to get out and they had no problem leaving the same everything about like also the whole plan was that this uh video thing would be on a loop and at the end of 2 minutes or whatever it would reveal itself. Not unlike in toys when Robin Williams makes the music video which is also a very funny we just watched it recently and it's so full of so many amazing moments. June was unfortunately not there.

Um the Wait, you didn't see it though? She doesn't feel like she's unfortunate at all.

Oh, June. It's really not good. But you would think like the idea would be we need to rob this place and so when the video monitors come back on everything will be back to normal. But they make a giant mess of that mess. Yeah. It's it's

well there's also like a complete disregard for time. Oh, okay. So, like for example alone, Danny Ayella goes, "I need five minutes." And they go, "Perfect. Here's the song." Whatever. Bing bing boom. Now they all start singing. Bing. Okay. Five minutes does not I mean like the the the time is Danny Aello [ __ ] up the VCRs like the whatever it is. He's the dubbing of the of the footage. You know, he's mistakenly done that. He's made a mess of that. And then later when the guy sets the bomb to go off in 2 minutes, the bomb goes off in 35 seconds.

35 seconds. 100%. It's counting down like 2 minutes, you know, 140, whatever, blah blah blah, and then boom, it explodes. Well, the bomb logic in this movie is insane as one person gets a bomb stuck to their head later in the movie, and it's just by a big suction cup.

Squeegee. Yeah. Yeah. And he and he could not get that off. Yeah, that that would be something that you could get off. By the way, if you shot that thing at his head with that amount of volume, he his head would have exploded instantaneously. Or or just broken his neck. I mean, the force of that thing.

Here's the weird thing. It's a gun that shoots bombs. If anybody's wondering what we're talking about, the bad guys have one of the sets of bad guys have. We haven't explained this movie at all. We haven't talked about Da Vinci. We haven't talked about

You were great at Da Vinci, by the way. Movie. I dare you. A lot of dare you. A lot of people wrote in that you look exactly like Da Vinci. will post a picture on the website uh so you can see it

there. You know what audience I do not care for this. You will respect me. I will from now on picture

from now on. Let me see it. Here it is. It is an amazing amazing life [ __ ] Well, by the way, Da Vinci does one of those things in this movie. I'm going to talk about this a couple times. I think it does these things that like bad movie tropes and one of the things that always gets me is uh old old characters putting on sunglasses. Great.

Uh skateboards are definitely in there. Um I wrote down another one in here too. We'll get to it. But uh one of mine was

free Oh, okay. Got it. Go. No, no, please. Um freeze frame, which turns into drawing, which is in the book like Yes. So th those are those are three things that I feel like if you ever see those, you know you are watching. Oh, and and and sorry. Um Oh, no. That's in the next movie. We're

When a movie opens and like 1300 whatever when it opens on that and it just looks like something like the corner of a Spencer GIS that they somehow I'm like, "Oh, I'm on board. I'm ready for a movie."

How about this? How about when Da Vinci enters his lab and cracks his knuckles?

He like extends it. He like crack like let's get to work. What's the purpose of that device for Da Vinci

to make? He wants to make gold. Yeah. Alchemy. By the way, if you guys are guessing, this movie is about alchemy. Okay, but cut to present day. What were they using it for exactly?

No, the same thing. They want to turn lead into gold. Wait, the Richard Grant and Sandra Burn. Yeah, they wanted to turn lead into gold so that they could world domination. World domination could just control currency.

That's exactly. It wasn't even That's what I loved. It wasn't even like then we'll have a lot of gold we didn't understand. No,

to control currency and like to start sort of mass chaos. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I I'm assuming I Yeah, I guess so. I mean, maybe having that much gold would uh

Who cares? I want to get it. I I First of all, their plan is terrible plan. And I don't think even anyone knows what their plan is. I will say that um Sander Bernhard and Richard Eye Grant, who are the villains in this movie, don't know a lot about gold and lead or either the script writer didn't either because here's there's a scene where they put a piece of gold and a piece of lead in Bruce Willis's hand and they go, "You need to tell us the difference. They're exactly the same. How would you tell the difference? Uh, they're not the same.

Uh, the gold bar they had would weigh around 30 lb and the piece of lead would be about one pound. Like, so that would be the amazing.

That's how strong Bruce Willis is. And it doesn't mean anything to him. Gold is 70% denser than lead. And they also say there there's only one molecule of difference between gold and lead. That is also not true. That's three protons and seven neutrons difference. So it they even the research on this movie is

bare bones bad like that that's easy you know go the difference between gold and

you've seen in the past the Da Vinci opening scene where you walk through Da Vinci's lab and they've got the gold machine spinning

and Da Vinci is working on everything that he's done simultaneously the Mona Lisa is almost done wait a second okay hang on

we all saw that the Mona Lisa's bad teeth were also in that police officer in the present day right

it Why? No, I did not. I did not. Okay. So So, okay. So, in I thought they have a thing about bad

because like they did it twice within the first 5 minutes, but never again. Never again. Anyway. Okay. So, I wanted to mention that, but they're in the past.

But finally, we know why. I mean, that's a funny joke. Finally, we know why Mona Lisa is not smiling.

I'm assuming Willis was like, "Hey, we still got those [ __ ] Mona Lisa teeth on. Throw them in this guy's mouth. This is going to be hilarious." Um, anyway, so in the past they they've got the gold machine spinning and the the the thing zap zaps the whatever and then they crack open the thing and everybody's like, "Oh." And everybody's speaking Italian. Everybody's speaking nonsubtitled Italian and somebody goes, "Oh gold."

And I was like, there is no way that somebody in the [ __ ] 1300s goes, "Oh, gold." Like it made me so mad.

The opening scene is just to basically set up the final scene, which is like, oh, and this room has everything that you'll need for our characters to play with, including a flying machine, which comes in very

excited about seeing that scene. I had forgotten all about it. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I can't wait for this to come. And when he spots it, I was like,

this is going to be it. I saw this movie on a date in high school. Wow. Oh wow.

And that was the only part of the movie I remembered was them flying out of the exploding building.

That is amazing. I also And I remembered hating it. How the date go? Was the date good?

Terri Not very well. No. No. Actually, the date went totally fine. The date went fine. It was But it was like we both were like, "Fuck this movie."

This is one of my mom's favorite movies. Yeah. You were saying that. Yeah. My mom has great taste in movies and also very bad taste. So, she'll watch a lot of like really interesting indie movies. Like, have you seen The Flower of uh Dr. nobody. And I'm like, "No, I haven't seen that one yet." And she's like, "Oh, it's amazing."

Flower, Dr. I know. I know it's playing at the uh whatever. Uh but she also loves this movie and also Saving Silverman, which is a fine movie. Those are two of her favorite movies. Like she love it.

I cannot I cannot get an answer. Does she love Does she love Bruce Willis? She I mean, she loved Moonlighting. We used to love Moonlight. By the way, I was uh just to sidetrack on a tangent here like how how I met your mother this week. Again, we have a little rivalry with how I met your mother.

You know what? You know what? [ __ ] those guys. How I met your mother this week were like they did a rhyming episode like it's never been done before. And I was like, "No, Moonlighting did it. They did the amic of the taming of the shrew episode."

Yeah. So, I just wanted to break that down for you. So, guess what? How I Met Your Mother. You guys [ __ ] up again.

The feud continues. Um, you know the deal. Meet us in the parking lot. Yeah. I want to watch this. I want to watch

H Y I M means HDG whatever. Um I'm just realizing too like when they are when they do that first robbery and they're so casual about him taking so much time. He hasn't he hasn't done um a heist like this in a decade.

Many years. Oh, at least 10 years. Well, I don't play Nintendo. He's not even played.

Let's get into the Nintendo run. The video game runner of this movie is insane because he's also a young guy. Like you would, you imagine that Bruce Willis did this movie at like 32, 33. Yeah. I mean, it was in was in 1991. So I feel like that's, you know, I don't know. I'm not going to do the math of all right.

What Wait, where did Actually, I didn't right after Die Hard 2. Thank you. So, um, he like, you know, so he's still a young man, but he plays up that he's been in jail for such a long century century like 10 years on this and and he goes I don't even know what Nintendo is and Nintendo comes in, Mario Brothers comes in.

Well, there was a Hudson Hawk video game. That's exactly what I found out today.

It was a really terrible Hudson Hawk video game, but they pushed it a lot. It was for Nintendo, right?

Yes, it was for Nintendo after the movie was out. Yeah. To go along with the movie. It was going to be this huge thing.

That's why you're here. That's why you're here because we knew that movies that had video game highend. Yeah. It was released for the Commodore 64, Amigga, ZX Spectrum, and Atari as well as the NES and Game Boy. Um, and it's like the By the way, what kid is going like, I love the movie. I want to play the game.

I want to And what is it? Wait, in the game, do you rob like me rob Vatican? Uh, according here, you play as Hawk and you must steal the Stoza and the CEX from the auction house and the Vatican respectively. Then Castle Da Vinci has to be infiltrated in order to steal the mirrored crystal that needs to power the gold machine. On his journey, Hawk must face many oddball adversaries, including dachshunds that try to throw him off the roof of the auction house, janitors, photographers, killer nuns, and a tennis player, presumably Darwin Mayflower.

That is the really weird thing about this movie. Like none of the theft is done with any grace or intelligence or strategy or like

no like versus like Oceans 11 where half of the movie is planning. is so satisfying. Amazing to watch. I love it.

This is like he arrive he wakes up in the suitcase day of and they give him one tour of the Vatican and they're like, "Oh, and you're robbing it tonight." The people service and there's no Yeah, there's no travel.

And his list of things he needs are like olive oil, a bunch of stamps. Wait, what did he do with the stamps?

Oh, he mailed himself into the Vatican. Remember he was in that big box? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Um, by the way, I want to This is again second time he got mailed. I This guy loves mailing himself.

I like his [ __ ] mood. He liked it. Um I do want to bring up this one of the things again why I couldn't figure out how long he's been in jail. He's not He doesn't know what Nintendo is. I buy that seen ET.

That's it. Never saw ET. Because ET is what, 82? I Oh, or maybe. All right. So ET came out in ' 82. So that works. Yeah, that works.

For 10 years for a 10 years. Yeah. All right. There we go. I still I mean if he's so great at doing this, why didn't he break out of jail? That's number one.

Andy McDow is a nun. Oh, that's that happens in the She is the romantic lead in the movie. She keeps flirting and going after him. 3/4 of the way through the movie. It is revealed by virtue of a wardrobe change by putting her in a nun's habit that she is a nun.

Are they allowed to dress sexy on their off time? Well, that means she's an under also undercover.

She's an undercover nun. She's an undercover guys. Undercover. [ __ ] stay all day.

Make the poster. Make the poster. Undercover. Undercover. By the way, that is a movie. That is a movie.

Why has this not been done? We have to make Undercover. Undercover. I'm God. By the way, that should I almost want us to cut this out of the podcast. So, we

brilliant. I need to register this before undercover. Oh god. I I need to leave right now. I have to start writing. Hey, can I She'll be in the habit of busting all the crimes.

I like it. That's okay. Okay. Wow. Wow. Busting crimes is her habit. Oh, I like that.

I mean, you just took my idea and moved it around a little bit. I get that. I get that.

You know what? You know what? You can control the video game. N Undercover the video game.

That'll be a really sexy one. Um but uh by the way undercover that is wow that you know what those kind of moments they don't come along all the time you have to really respect it

by the way I feel great I'm not I'm not a lawyer I'm not a lawyer but if anyone I'm not a lawyer but if anyone writes that I think we can sue you we have the basis

if you write that you're stamped it's been timestamped um okay she's a nun uh she's a nun who communicates through a talking light up

truth. Nothing scary to me. That really frighten uncomfortable to look at. Well, there's four organizations of secret people in this. There's like

That's what's so confusing. And I know I did just get a flu shot today, so I watched it. I was a little out of it. I was very confused.

I also got the same flu shot and it would did not temper my brain power. This is not

I was very confused about who was CIA. Well, there's CIA, there's Vatican CIA CIA, then there's the other bad guys, but then the Mayflowers. So, I guess that's just three three.

Well, and the problem the problem really was that they at various times were teaming up and were double crossing each other.

So, that was what was confusing to me. The Kit Kat was double crossing. Who? Kit Kat Flowers.

No, the Mayflowers killed him. Wait, right? is he was Danny Yellow was double crossing but then he was

but I thought Kit Kat was Kit Kat himself. These are words we're saying out loud.

I thought Kit Kat was I thought Kit Kat was they found out that he was double crossing the Mayflowers. The Mayflowers found that out.

No, the Mayflowers just decided to kill the CIA team. They also shot the Butterfinger. Oh boy. What am I talking about?

Snickers. They killed Snickers. You know, like they decided and then they say, "Why are you killing them?" and and she says we're greedy or something to that effect. More like she basically says we want it all for ourselves.

Oh gosh. Don't try to make sense of the plot cuz I don't think that they even did that service. I think

Kit Kat his dying words written on a note were I always liked you shown to Andy McDonald. So I guess he knew he was dressed as a statue.

Well here dressed as a statue. That's not the way to go. You don't want to go out dressed as a statue.

The [ __ ] was that? I once heard Bruce Wilson in an interview say the reason why people like Die Hard is because of the New Jersey comedy.

What? Yes. He said, "The reason why people connect to that movie is because they like seeing a guy from New Jersey cracking wise."

This is what happened. This is why we got this and this is why we got a movie where like literally a guy gets his head cut off. And the line that Bruce Willis says,

I know it. I know it. I guess we won't see him at the hat convention in July. Yeah. Guess we'll see that guy attending the hack convention in July. Like, and it's like, well, that's

makes me think there is a real hack convention that takes. By the way, it would not surprise me if Bruce Willis was a guy who goes to hack conventions.

But, by the way, come on. This is a guy losing his head. There's a million jokes like, "Oh, I guess he lost his head." Uh, you know,

there's also one where he says, "Um, how how's my driving?" 1800. That's the line I was just trying to look for. That's that was amazing. He that he says, wait a second. He says that line um Bruce Willis right after he said right after a car pulls up next to him. Bruce Willis is my favorite line.

Bruce Willis has fallen out of uh he's in an ambulance on a gurnie on wheels connected by a bed sheet to the ambulance going over the bridge maybe the Venzano bridge or like a big New York bridge. Anyway, um and he's he's careening all over the place and a convertible pulls up next to him and some pretty girls go, "Hey, mister, are you going to die?" Like that's what they say like so like it's crazy.

It's crazy. This hiding from a Yeah. From this is you are going to watch someone die and then he then he says you're the line you just said, "How am I driving? 1800. I'm going to die."

Right. Yeah. And then also and then he goes to a toll booth and pulls that exact change. the exact change. The cigarette that a woman tosses out of her window, catches and says "Oh menthol."

Yep. Great. Are you kidding me? This is my favorite scene in the movie. And that is my favorite scene. And then there's all these like I guess like to me it's like all right. I buy that scene because that scene at least felt like it was tonally

they made a choice appropriate and but the rest of the movie doesn't go that way. But then you have these moments where it's like you pass by some security guards and he's like, "Hey, can you believe it? There's so many Wongs in the phone book." And he goes, "Oh, so many Wong numbers." And he goes and then he goes, "Look up uh Chin."

That's it. Like it's like these are like jokes like that people make at a cigar club and like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. That's funny. Like And it's like, "Oh yeah." Well, when they're eating pasta in Italy, they put in a thermos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a joke. Here's a joke that I wasn't clear on what was the point of this. When James Coburn, who's the bad guy CIA agent, Yes. So he's all mad and he goes um he said something I can't remember what he says but then he goes we blow up space shuttles for breakfast.

I was like whoa man I'm going to use that one. Hey man that's not cool. That was too that was too soon.

Too soon bro. Like what are you talking about? So wait you guys blew up the space shuttle?

Yeah that's true. It's only been at that point a couple of years since Makulla that was in 1986. So that was like only 5 years five or six years older guys. Too soon for this movie. Not cool.

Not cool, guys. Um although I do like that line. It's a good line. I I did think that was a bold one. I mentioned in the opening Bruce Willis does have five earrings like like a pirate, which was a very interesting choice. Um I I thought that the

he can't get a cup of coffee to save his life. That is that is that is a real running gag.

All he wants is a cappuccino. So again, making the character super accessible. He's a He's a a safe cracker with a heart of gold who only wants a cappuccino, but he gets pulled into an elaborate alchemy plot and uh and things.

Sorry. Please go ahead. Sorry. Go. Please continue. I was looking at my notes and I just saw something.

I want to talk about the relationship between him and Andy McDow. Two scenes in particular. One,

Andy McDow's genuine like amusement at this guy. Like he flies off of a building, lands in a chair. Again, I buy the Looney Tunes aspect of that. Coughs out feathers like full on like

like he's a clown. Like he's a clown. And Andy McDow sits there like charmed. Charmed. And charmed. And they're there for like all of a guy comes up and he goes, "What do you want?" And he goes, "Sir, I'm the waiter." And he goes, "Okay, I guess you are." And oh, they order. And he wants ketchup for his pasta.

Well, that's the other thing, too. There's a there's a a thing about like Italian food being bad. Like it's like, "I want ketchup for like No, no, no. You're in Italy and you're Italian and you're from New Jersey, like this should be this should be wonderful for you.

And you've been in jail for 10 years and you and you want a cappuccino. You have a refined taste. You don't want ketchup.

Also ketchup and a cappuccino. You can't want both both things. Yeah. And then cut to kick not Kit Kat, but the big doofy guy who's like

steak burger. Give me a steak. Okay. The one joke I really laughed at with Butterfingers was when he was in the back of the car. They're I think they're not speaking at the restaurant but someplace and he's

he's saying something and the he go the guy in front of him goes here just read a book.

Read your book. Read your book. And then he starts reading children's books. He starts reading Green Eggs and Ham.

Yeah, he does. He starts reading Green Eggs and Ham and they go they go to yourself.

He's like I felt bad for him. Yeah, I felt bad for a real dummy. He was a real dummy. Just for your f for the fans of the show, uh I think this is interesting to mention that the screenplay was a how did this get made all-star mashup. It was written by Steven Duza who wrote Street Fighter.

Amazing. And Judge and Judge Dread and also co-written by Daniel Waters who wrote Demolition Man and uh Batman Returns.

Oh my god. So these guys were uh heavy hitters. Yeah, really heavy hitters. Anyone else noticed that at the Vatican in the postal subway there was a cross that had been packaged and was just behind them at one point when Andy McDow is walking through the subway. There's a giant like c like a crucifix that's just in brown like UPS packaging.

So weird. Well, how else are you going to move them? I mean, I guess how else do you move across?

I guess now that we know that Andy McDall is a nun, I can answer this question. But Andy McDow gives him a shirtless massage. Yeah. And he and like he goes to kiss.

I thought this was postcoidal. I thought they had had sex and they were in bed cuz she he's n he's I guess just shirtless. And she's rubbing his back and asking about his tattoos blah blah blah. And she is wearing all of her clothes. And I was like, "Are they done? What is this?"

And they go and they go to kiss and she goes, "I can't do this." Wait, wait, wait. But you can give a a guy a shirtless back. I mean, it was very sexual. And then but now we know why.

What was confused about is what exactly her plan was. Like what was she trying? She was seducing him. She already knew what he was going to do.

She wanted to stop him from stealing the codeex because they need to protect. Did she ever really try to do that?

Well, no. I mean, yeah. She was trying to get close to him to figure out his plan, but then she realized he was just being used.

He's a nice guy because the Vatican thought he was the threat, right? But he was being forced to do this or he'd go back to jail

or they'd kill his Danny Ayella, etc. Did you It was actually supposed to be Isabella Roselini in that role, by the way. That was something I read and Annie McDall.

Yes, she was. She's like a southern girl. Like Annie McDall is like not an Italian. She's gorgeous.

She was actually the third choice. It was Isabella Roselini who was originally cast and then they recast Marushia Detmers, but then she had to leave because she had back problems. And then they brought in Annie McDow. Now, I will bring up this one disturbing moment. I don't know if any of you caught it, but the Butterfinger, the big messy that guy goes, I know what I see what you're talking about.

There's a moment where they're like spying on them and they're trying to come up with what their plan is. And he writes, "Should we rape them?"

He says, "Okay, roughly, why do we have to do this in movies?" He says it out loud.

Early '9s, why do we have Can I ask you this is right when this is when they then say, "Read your book." It's the same scene.

It's the same scene. The same scene. Now, okay, I really struggled with this because I was like, did he really laugh a second?

Did he really just say, "Should I rape her?" Yes. No, them. Them. He did say them.

them. So, that's helpful. That makes me feel better. That he would he's a Yeah, he's a he's a monster. He will rape anything. Yes, he will rape anybody.

I'm willing to bet he's saying something else, but that we heard. Is it possible that

Oh, that it got dubbed that he's saying like Yeah. What else could he have said that that's the better version? I don't know because I know he definitely couldn't make tales out of that.

I can tell you what it was that it was just a heightening like this guy is a complete animal

even though he's reading a children's book and was and so like the idea being like the the our next our next move here strategically might be just me raping them because I mean for what purpose this is a question he asks a lot and you think every mission Um, all right. Let's get into uh into our villains because uh Richard Eye Grant and uh and Sandra Bullard uh sorry, not Bulock, uh Sandra Bernard,

really swinging for the fences. Yeah, let's play a clip of them. Uh you can get a sense of what their performances are like.

This isn't a fantasy. It is a reality. Oh yes. If Da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi naked in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us.

He's a safe. So, that's a little sense of what they are. Bombastic crazy characters playing tennis indoors. That's how you show people are crazy. They uh and I don't again know exactly what their plan is, but to control the world. They uh they

world domination. He says world domination. Uh Richard Grant did write in his book uh with nails that uh this movie was just repplotted during the actual days of filming. Really? Yes.

Uh yes. So I mean any thoughts on these people that I mean I like their dog a lot. I enjoyed their performances. I really enjoyed Sandra Burning. Really couldn't take my eyes off of them.

Both of them I thought were terrific. Like they were just scenery. I feel like they were also on tone. like they were like, "Okay, this is what it is." It's as if in um Dan Akroyd terrible movie,

uh nothing but trouble. The Brazilians were the villains of the movie. Like that's what it's like. Remember the Brazilians, the brother and sister? Like they were those type like they were just like incredibly bombastic characters.

Weirdly sexual like biz like really weirdos. And I enjoyed it. I I thought that they are the same. didn't enjoy was that dog.

The dog was uh I didn't like the the dog rooting around and and and Bruce Willis's crotch. I was like, "Come on, do we really?"

And then the fact that they threw the dog out the window at the end. Well, the dog was trying to attack Andy McDow. What are you going to do?

Yeah, they was, you know, the dog had it coming to be honest. The dog was evil at the end. You could tell the dog like wanted the dog seemed actually more evil than either of its owners.

Well, that's I was going to say, did anybody else think that the dog was the boss of them? Like they were just probably doing the dogs there like the son of Sam.

I love that first time you see Sam like he was the big evil. Yeah, he's the big guy that she's just thinking I've got the power. Uh yeah sitting on a conference table. What was what was that a conference table of? Because there was a small Indian boy

part of a lot of ethnicities happening. Were they like the Was this the like the legal the Legion of Doom or something like were they all bad guys? I they they were all like they were working for a company like their company was at M Corporation or whatever.

Yeah, but that's like one of them was a child. One of the people at that table was a child.

You don't get it, Jason. You don't get the comedy of his like some Temple of Doom stuff like the Yeah, the Maharaja guy. Yeah.

I think you need to hear Bruce Willis explain why you don't get the jokes here. Can we play that clip of Bruce Willis talking about this movie? There's a

Oh jeez. There's a half an hour interview about Bruce Willis defending this movie on YouTube in three parts. You just Bruce Willis talks Hudson Hawk. You'll find it. Here we go. Here's a clip.

You know, looking at how it kind of became this cult film. Um, all right. And what people, you know, come up and say to me on on the street about it is is uh

take your time. I they, you know, dig the fact that it was making fun of itself and that it was satire. And I don't think anybody got that when it came out. They thought they didn't know what to make of it. You know, me and um

uh Danny Iello singing in a movie was just unheard of and they were Is that sati? Is that considered sati about it or something like they were mad that we were trying to make them laugh?

He's Tommy was sewing this rewriting history. This is riveting jokes in there. It's amaz The interview itself is amazing. But blaming blaming people for not getting satire. But then hearing him say that satire is him and Danny Ella's singing is that's not satire. I don't I

he made this earnestly. He didn't make this. Oh no. He thought this was going to be [ __ ] he thought this was going to be like his James Bond or his man Flint or I think he was like this is going to be Die Hard

Plus. You know, it's going to be the action and the adventure of Die Hard, but with better jokes and more more like um

the jokes so slapstick. Just by the way, just if you're wondering what the definition of satire is, I will tell you that the use of humor to ridicule, expose or criticize people's stupidity of vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics.

I've actually never heard that definition. So that I mean, you know, so I don't know if that that movie falls into that. The alchemy, he really took down the alchemy committee. Uh but um the the movie's original catchphrase was catch the excitement, catch the adventure, catch the hawk. But when they realized it wasn't really an action movie, they changed it for the home video release, which was catch the excitement, catch the laughter,

catch the hawk. That's very telling. That's Yeah, they knew. They were like, "We got to figure out some other way to package this thing. This is not working out."

Uh Bruce Wills does not uh Bruce Wills gets so defensive on this movie when you hear he goes, "People criticize this movie. I have so much money I could just sit by a lake and skip stones. What do I care? Like it's like not this response. That's funny to me. His response is like, "No, no, we tried something." He's like, "Fuck you. I don't need it. I don't need you to like anything. I'm rich.

I did this for me. I didn't even do this for you. I'm rich as shit." Which he is. I was actually I was looking at his IMDb. That man has been working forever. He has so much money.

So much money. I also I do think probably this falls into the category that we are now like I hate to say it again but toysing uh I'll bring up toys again. Uh I I believe this to be a project that because of his power box office power Bruce Willis was able to get this movie made you know this was a passion project for Bruce Willis not like they didn't he wrote this movie it is built for him

with a budget of $70 million in 1991. Wow. It brought in a total of $17 million,

which is a I mean, that's some money. It didn't Oh, I guess it definitely bombed.

I mean, that's a that like this is one of those movies that is a bomb that you forget about. Like, people talk about Ishtar, but they don't talk about Hudson Hawk. I mean, and I was excited. I remember seeing this and knowing that Bruce Wilson is in a movie like, "Oh, it's going to be great. It's going to be

It looked awesome." You know, this was an era when like between like um Die Hard and Indiana Jones, but also like a time when like Romancing the Stone was a big movie to me. And that movie is amazing. Like an a real adventure romance and this I had that like that's why I went to a date, you know, I went I took a date to this because it looked like it was going to be awesome the way Romance in the Stone was and instead it was worse than Romance in the Stone 2.

Jewel of the Nile Jewel of the Nile. We haven't even talked about Andy McDow's Dolphin.

I was just going to say that the living sounds were amazing. I don't. And I remember looking away for a minute and then looking back at the movie and going, "Wait, what is she doing?

What is she doing?" She was doing voices. She was doing stick. She was like, she was like, they were like, they double crossed her or whatever. And then she was like, I'm not a she, you think I'm a damsel in distress. And then she goes, you know, uh, I can't pay the rent. You must pay the rent. I can't pay the rent. And like started doing like dolphin.

Was she trying to intimidate them or she was just trying to show them that she wasn't scared of them? I think was the bit. Like, but no, but she could do bits.

No, no, no. She was under some sort of drug, right? That but the drug was That's what they were saying that she must still be like coming off of the paralyzing drug.

Yeah, but that wasn't that not a side effect of the drug because Bruce Willis and Danny Ao had never

Well, they were being just as silly as they always are. Come on. Well, they're guys from New Jersey by a couple of pies.

They also, by the way, to see Andy McDow do those dolphin noises. I mean, I didn't know what to do with that.

So, you were won over by that performance. the dolphin noises. I didn't know she had that in her.

Let me ask you a question. Isabella Roselini cuz she had done those dolphin noises.

That's a great question. That's a great question. I She would have sold it a bit more. I

made I mean like blue velvet era Isabella Roselini. By the way, I I know we already talked about it, but I'm going to say it again. She plays an Italian nun.

Italian. Yeah, that's crazy. I didn't even really put that all together. There's

American American playing Italian. She's not Yeah, she's American. I'm sure I'm sure. Yes, she should be Italian. I'm sure if Isabella Roselini had played it, she would have been a native.

Yeah, that would have made sense. Um, we want to talk about Frank Stallone, who was part of the Mario Brothers uh the Mario Brothers amazing uh

uh Frank Stallone. Give it up for Frank Stallone. Um, this is like the when they play the old Howard Stern tapes and everybody's clapping for no good reason.

I like a good clap. They they make some subtle digs at Stallone, too. Sly Stallone. We have a clip of that. We already just play a clip of Frankstone. There's a quick one here.

There's a safe on the seventh floor. You take their thingy and you put it in this thing.

Directions even your brother could understand. Damn. Little did he know that they'd be opening up Planet Hollywood just months later.

Go straight. Oh, wait. But he's talking about the brother that's sitting right next to him.

Interesting. By the way, the beginning of the movie like he's going to eat a cap drink a cappuccino and a guy pulls out a gun in the middle of a crowded restaurant, shoots a cappuccino glass. No one moves. No one moves. And he's a bullet with a gun. Not not hidden.

The bullet the the gun has gun has a silencer. Yes. So it's like, you know, but like every It's a crowded bar and nobody flinches. Nobody seems to notice

and then Danny Alo hits a guy on the head with a wine bottle. A few minutes later it shatters and people like two people look over.

Yeah. That this this is where it's a weird bar that you know what? [ __ ] this movie. Um obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are certain people who have a better opinion. Now it's time for five star reviews from Amazon.

These are five star reviews. You guys can uh comment on these uh as you see fit. Here we go. Um this is uh titled for a true movie fan. I've probably watched this movie round a hundred times and I can practically quote it 100 times.

Is there an apostro apostrophe before round? Yes. Okay. I think my mom wrote this review around 100 times and can practically quote it from start to finish. I certainly wouldn't have done that if this movie was bad.

Oh my god. Five stars. Oh my god. Anyway, I do agree with you, Jason, though. Like the apostrophe.

What's the point? It's one letter. One letter. You've already done it. taking the place of that apostasy.

There is the same number of characters in that word. Yes. Here's another one. Boom.

And the colloquialism of it. No, the the that's not the the the the casualness of it is is it doesn't matter. That word doesn't matter. And I know I'm sure I used colloquialism wrong. So, everybody shut the [ __ ] up. Everybody Everybody relax.

You're going to get you. Stop saying I look like Da Vinci. Um, this one is titled Boom Side by Side. Boom. You'll be rolling on the floor laughing, but be careful and not die laughing too hard.

Okay. Did Danny Elo write that? I think that was a fivestar review. I have had some experiences with sidebysides. I just want to say that

Bruce is a riot. Um, I'm worried about it. This is where I This is what I get. This is a lot of the Hudson Hawk reviews attack critics for being bad. So, this one goes, I think movie reviewers underappreciate a good comedy. Most are stuffy, overweight, undereducated film studied dorks. Uh

oh. I agree with that. I agree with the first sentence of that for sure. Yeah, they don't appreciate comedies.

Appreciate comedies. Who are these critics? Who cares? These are the same critics that think that Gandhi is one of the best things to happen to film, which just goes to show you what they know. This movie is about fun and entertainment and not meant to be scrutinized, analyzed, or otherwise. Watch and enjoy. Five stars. Oh, I love that guy.

And this is my favorite review of all time by Yellow Defender. I thought the storyline was great. It was a little boring, but it kept me on my toes. My favorite parts were when the dog Bunny goes flying out the window and when Bruce gets out of jail and throws the key into the mop thing and he adjusts his hat. He had me in he had me try Cappuccino, too. And it's pretty good. I think this is one of Bruce's best movies, even if he doesn't think so.

So, he turned on to Cappuccino. One of his favorite parts was the the head when he adjust his head. This is like also like again another like non- joke joke like Bruce Wills like steals a guy's keys and then tosses his keys in a dirty mop bucket. He's like hey just like just a hat. It's like it's like cool.

It's a non- moment. It's a non-moment moment but it's like but it's also like he's so cool. Hudson Hawk

that's what I that's what I think this guy was responding to. Like he he he does it to his hat. He drinks cappuccinos. Like

he throws dogs out of a window. Yeah. Oh yeah, he's like the I think it's Yeah, he definitely appeals to like the the I want to hang out and have a beer with that guy, you know,

which he does that in his other movies that are better also. Oh yeah, this movie is terrible. He's great in a million movies.

Die Hard. Are you kidding me? We think that Danny Yellow has died in this movie. Uh only to realize that he is come back and we want to just play the Denny Dyello's comeback moment. Here we go.

No way. Yes way. Did I miss anything? Did you miss anything? You're supposed to be all crashed up at the bottom of the hill.

Airbags. Can you [ __ ] believe it? You're supposed to be blowing up a defafari chunk of plush.

Sprinkler system set up in the back. Can you [ __ ] believe it? Yeah, that's probably what happened.

Drink your cappuccino. Hey, drink your coffee. He gets his cappuccino. Oh, thank God. And a moment before he gets his girl to play Nintendo with him, she agrees to play Nintendo with him.

They play the Hudson hot game. Danny Ayello pulls up to that scene riding a donkey. I just want to say he is on the he is just riding the donkey into town because they have also just flown in Dainci's original flying machine

which still works and was not updated at all. What? Yeah, it's amazing. I love that scene of them, the two of them like just having a blast. I I like to think of that day of filming that they were like, "All right, just get on my back. Uh, we're going to go ahead and fun."

But that's that's the one thing I do I do feel like the two of them are like, but there's a scene in the movie where they just both grab their balls when they hear an exposure. Oh, like it's like they I feel like they're like, "Yeah, we'll do this and this is good." It's like,

or how about like when they're hanging off the side of a castle. They save they've somehow he and Danny Ayello have scaled a castle. They are hanging off the edge. They're luring the guards to come so they can punch them out. And Bruce Willis goes, "Hey, how do I look?" And he goes, "What are we gonna do that right now with this right now? I just want to know how do I look? What are you talking about? We sc we're hanging off the edge of a castle. You're asking me how you how do I look?" And then the guards come up in and they're like, "Punch, punch. Uh, you look pretty good.

You look pretty good." That's the kind of [ __ ] this movie is for. It's It's like It's like if the guys who hung around Tony Soprano wrote a movie.

This is Christopher's movie. This is This is Christopher. If you if you told me Christopher Motoant Motosanti wrote this movie, I would be like, "Okay, I get it and it's not that bad."

I mean, then also there they make a lot about uh the one thing I want to say just before we wrap up, too, and if you have any final points, but they make a big deal about Danny Ayella being fat.

I was going to say that, too. He's not that bad. Yeah. Like neither. Well, here's the thing. Bruce Willis, his figure is also not the slender figure of like a thief or a cat burglar. Like, he's not

he's not graceful enough. Just for the for the listeners, June is doing cat-like motions with her hands like like a cat like like

I'm going to rob you. Meow. Guess what? You consider yourself robbed. Uh you'd be a great cat.

Would you like to be in Undercover as a cat burglar that that that robs You know what? You know what? I'm going to need to see you in the habit. I'm going to need to see you in the habit. No, no, no. She's a burglar. She's the enemy.

So, she's burglar. Oh, no. that the nun has to go undercover as a cat. As a cat burglar undercover or is it a catburgurglar that goes undercover as a nun? Guys,

this is I want to assure everybody this will be not even remotely similar to Sister Act.

Not even remotely similar. It'll have moments of it'll have moments of miseniality, I think, in thematically. Possibly the second act.

Sister Act is she witnesses a murder and has to go hide out in a convent. the soul sing.

Will it be anything like But that is all about like getting the convent to sing and

Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Will it be anything like nuns on the run? No, it won't be like nuns on the run.

Say nuns on the run. Um Irish guy and somebody else. Irish guy. Irish guy and the other one.

Oh yes, that one. I'm sorry. Irish guy and the other one. Eric Idol and Robbie Coul. What uh any final thoughts? Anybody have any final thoughts? Would you

go see it? Five stars. Yeah. Would you guys see it? Would you I would recommend you should watch it. Maybe

it's a fun party movie. I think it's a fun party movie if you crazy enough. There's a crazy enough moments in there.

Watch it. Be but be willing to fast forward. Absolutely. You know, cuz you don't you know who cares. It is definitely watch all the Richard E. Grant Sander Bernard stuff. Oh my gosh, that shit's awesome. And I will say uh I watched most of it, but the three-part interview series with Bruce Willis and Robert Craft as they sit around and Bruce Willis just goes into getting very defensive about the movie and explaining the movie and talking about the song. They play the song, they sing the song, it's a three-part thing on YouTube.

Bruce Willis talks Hudson Hawk. I think you will enjoy it. Um I think I won't. I think you will love it. Uh so all right. So, just once again, uh Emily, your uh your podcast is on the Nerdist channel. They can get it. The indoor kids, it's you and Cam. Uh it's awesome. I've done it. It's great. You should do the Hudson Hawk game. Maybe we should do a tie. I got to try.

Have you guys ever done uh the mo like movie to video game? We have. We have done. And actually, that one didn't come up in the episode that we did, but we did a lot of like the uh like Godzilla games that have come out like a lot of like the ET one.

The new Godzilla trailer is [ __ ] awesome. I haven't seen it yet. I'm pretty excited. [ __ ] awesome. It's just like Oenheimer talking about like the It's really neat. Yeah. Yes. Uh if you are looking at pictures of me from this podcast, you'll notice I have a mustache. It's because I just came from the Arsenio Hall show where I just played Arurio Paul. That happened already, but I'm sure you can find me as our Paul on Arsenio Hall's website or anywhere else. So, definitely check that out. You can follow me at Paul Sheer on Twitter. Oh, and what are you what are you?

I'm at the Dynamite. Oh, yeah. That's right. I'm at MisssJune Diane. Jason, just checking in on your Twitter.

Yeah. Yeah. No, not on Twitter, guys. Okay, great. Not still on Twitter. On Twitter.

You know what? You're It's good. You probably have more time to do stuff in your day.

So much time. So much jerking off. Uh just undercover. Under I got to write an undercover now. Thank god I'm not on Twitter.

Thank god I'm not on Twitter because now I have time to write an undercover. So, I do actually want to plug uh my upcoming film project, NU undercover,

uh because by the time this airs, I suspect I will have already sold it. I would Oh, maybe look on Kickstarter. Maybe I should Kickstarter an undercover. I would get behind it. I would I would tweet that link out.

And you should get a You should get the Twitter account for an undercover. I'm sure nobody's by the way. I got to get it before this comes out. Set up your website. Um I

got to do all this before this episode drops. [ __ ] You got some time. You got some time. And also a big thanks to everyone who helps us out here at the show. Our lead engineer, Frank Capella. Thank you so much, Frank. You're always amazing. And our clip puller who's always suggesting great stuff. Aili. And uh Nate Kylie, who's doing all of our research. He's amazing. And the fantastic Katie Dyer who does our Twitter account. You can follow us on Twitter always at HDTGM. She also does our Facebook page. Lyanna Waldron does all of our cool art. Check us out in the Earwolf store. We got cups. We got new shirts. Do it, guys. We did it. Hudson Hawk, we caught the adventure. We caught the hawk.

We caught the laughter for sure. Thank you so much for joining us, Emily. We'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)"?

Paul Scheer (Host), Jason Mantzoukas (Host), June Diane Raphael (Host), Emily Gordon (Guest).

What is "Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)" about?

The conversation centers on the film "Hudson Hawk," featuring Bruce Willis, exploring its multifaceted genre elements—comedy, mystery, action, drama, and musical. The hosts, along with guest Emily Gordon, delve into the film's perceived failures and the broader implications of its artistic choices, questioning how such a unique and flawed work came to be.

What is mentioned in this How Did This Get Made? episode?

12 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Bruce Willis, How Did This Get Made, Danny Aiello, Hudson Hawk, Andy McDowell, Emily Gordon. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Hudson Hawk w/ Emily Gordon (HDTGM Matinee)"?

The episode runs 57 min; the transcript is about 12,172 words in 327 timestamped sections.

More from How Did This Get Made?

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 26, 2026.