Transcript

Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair

From How Did This Get Made? · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 23 min · 16,477 words · 465 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair", an episode of How Did This Get Made? published December 12, 2025 (1 h 23 min, about 16,477 words). It mentions 4 people, works and ideas, including Palo Alto, BTK, Gilmore Girls.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Palo Alto, K Jewelers, BTK, Gilmore Girls
  2. – 30:00: Palo Alto
  3. – 1:00:00: K Jewelers, Palo Alto

Notable quotes from "Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair"

  • How Did This Get Made annual live stream. We are here to talk tonight about a film called Merry Christmas. A film financed apparently by K Jewelers.
    about K Jewelers · at
  • Christmas movies. He makes, Christmas dog movies and he also makes, serial killer films. He made a film about BTK and John Wayne Gasey. And he also And that's what this movie needed a little bit more of. Bind, torture, kill.
    about BTK · at
  • He's a producer director of a Nutcracker ballet in Palo Alto, California. Yes.
    about Palo Alto · at
  • He looks like from this distance too, he looks like Milo Ventto. He looks like Jess from Gilmore Girls.
    about Gilmore Girls · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

Concepts & topics

  • BTK — Concept · Referenced topic · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of the director's other works, adding depth to the discussion about the movie's themes.

Places & events

  • Palo Alto — Place · Setting · 4 mentions · first at
    The location where part of the movie's plot is set, contributing to the narrative's backdrop.

Media & podcasts

  • Gilmore Girls — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a comparison in describing a character's appearance, adding a pop culture reference to the discussion.

Sponsors

  • K Jewelers — Company · Sponsor · 3 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as a financier of the film discussed in the podcast, suggesting a business relationship with the movie's production.

Full transcript with timestamps

Dear residents, due to rampant complaints of sexual harassment from an elderly woman, we are removing the mistletoe from the elevator effective immediately. We saw Merry Christmas, so you know what that means. Now it's time for this. We're going to have a good time celebrating failure. You know, you wonder how in the mediocrity of some art. Perhaps you'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made?

Hello people of Earth and welcome to the How Did This Get Made annual live stream. We are here to talk tonight about a film called Merry Christmas. A film financed apparently by K Jewelers. Uh partly finance, I should say. And what's the plot if you haven't seen it? Well, it's about a young woman who is in love but falls out of love when Mistletoe forces her to kiss a man that she realizes is her true soulmate. I think that's roughly the plot. But you know what?

Let's break it all down. There we go. I was I have I have thoughts. I didn't see that.

Too much pressure to have you all sitting next to me for that opening. Just staring at you staring at me. Uh so I needed to get there quickly. Uh welcome Jason.

By the way, I may be the first to say merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to all

and a happy blow year. A what? A happy blow year. A happy blow year. What is that?

A blow a Yeah, right. I'm sorry. Cut the stream. Merry Christmas and a happy blow year.

Whoa. I thought that's what you That's what this building. Do I wish that this movie had anywhere near that kind of sexual charge?

I I believe none of the people in this movie have given or received a [ __ ] ever. I will argue and we I'm going to have a whole

speech to make about this that the only sexual chemistry that anybody had was between the cousins.

Yes. The cousin and Joshua. I think the cousin and Joshua from the animal shelter. Yes.

Deep side part. Yes. Deep side part. Yeah. They were No, on fire. We never saw that.

Here's what I'm going to say just for uh fans out there. This is directed by someone who we've covered uh multiple times on the show. Uh the director uh of 12 pups of Christmas and the dog who saved Christmas. So that makes sense. Is this Well, I was about to say is this his first film or hers or her story hers? Is this her? Although I don't want to claim this for my gender, but but is this his or her first Christmas movie without dogs is what I was about to say. But there is a dog in it. Sorry, June. Do you not remember?

I forgot for a second. I forgot for a second. I will say if you don't remember, um, this director has an interesting type of films that he makes. Yes, he makes Christmas movies. He makes, uh, Christmas dog movies and he also makes, uh, serial killer films. He made a film about BTK and John Wayne Gasey. And he also

And that's what this movie needed a little bit more of. Bind, torture, kill. That's what we had in the Doris Roberts elevator. That's where it came out. No,

Jessica, there was an element, you're absolutely right, of danger, desperation, and violence.

I agree. Such violence. She put her finger in and out of his ears. I desperately wanted her to be a ghost. I wanted her to be revealed to be not real because there was something fun about otherworldly. so much. Everybody in this movie is so weirdly passive in all regards except Doris Roberts who like a shark is moving through this world from one make out to another.

But I will say this, every character that we meet, you think, "Oh, they'll have a magical part." Like Doris Roberts, she might have kicked off a magical thing with the kids. This Santa Claus, the uh the doorman,

the pond that she throws a coin into. Yes. No. No magic. Yeah. The movie keeps wanting you to feel magic and it's giving you the the audio cue of that that's like a magic thing is happening but it's always in service of no magic and I think the only thing that's posited as magic is the elevator

but is it magic glass? Is it magic? I get to touch it. I don't WANT IT. YES. UM I just did what he couldn't do was which was say no, which was say no and get away.

Now, and here's the thing. I didn't get the performance from Doris Roberts. Like, I really found it fascinating that he couldn't say no. And by the way, like I don't mean to say obviously many victims of sexual violence.

Oh, no. Don't say no in our heart in fear. I don't know how I went down this road, but

Doris Roberts did say she only wanted this movie released after she was dead because she could really do what she needed to get done.

I don't blame him. I do think he froze, but it was very strange because it felt like he was playing the energy he was playing was like, I don't want to offend an a sweet old lady. And I wanted to say my brother in Christ,

she is dangerous. Don't worry about her and she can handle it. Yes. Yes. Am I the only one that desperately wanted her and Carlton to end up at the end?

Who's Carlton together? The fiance. That's wild. I I will say I want to talk about him roughly for the next hour. 800 minutes.

Oh, absolutely. British Carlton. Uh, no. Not British. Darling. Darling, please.

Darling, he was British. Was he British? I mean, I think he's trying to play British.

I thought when he first started talking, I thought it was a French accent. Or is it actor? Or is it pretentious actor? Yeah. Although he's not an actor. He's a producer director of a of a Nutcracker ballet in Palo Alto, California. Yes.

And is being treated as if he's But it also seemed like it did seem like he also was famous for other things. Like it's like almost like if Steven Spielberg decided to direct.

Well, he has the fame of an actor. He has the fame of like a pinup. like they have head shot on him.

I think the reason we're thinking that is that they used the actual actor's head shot.

Yes, they did. And what I saw was a man his obviously it was like an early 2000's, you know, head shot where he did not have that insane facial hair that I want to discuss.

Was that an actor's choice? I think that was an actor's choice for the role. Have you ever seen that?

It was a triangap face. It was shapes. rudimentary shapes, a line, a van, a triangle.

No, Van Dyke, I think, has more of a spike. You might be right. You might be right. I don't know. But it was It looks almost like a Tony Stark kind of beard.

I think he was trying to What is that artist? Mondrean that the blocks. Yes. Yeah. Post impressionist sort of. That's what it looked like.

Here's the thing. I'm sure the chat is going wild. We guys, we talk about Mandreon too much on the podcast.

Well, it's our go Every time we talk about everyone takes everybody's too wasted because we're talking about mundan so much. I do want to know like it seems like the show is getting very close to happening. It it's mere days.

Say something. Okay. I know they had his head shot and that confused some of us.

I believe we have a picture of that head shot. They also though put his face on the marquee.

Was that his face? Yeah. Oh yes. Like like he was like, "Hey, it's me. I thought he was going to be the star of like as if he was going to be doing the Christmas Carol and he was gonna be screwed.

Look at this two or sorry, image two is we have the the image of him. No, that's okay. But this is him with long hair. I didn't know that was him. So many different versions.

He looks like from this distance too, he looks like Milo Ventto. He looks like Jess from Gilmore Girls.

Thank you. He They didn't have enough money to do a separate photo shoot of Jessica. What is his

job that he should be like if he is a Stephen Spielberg or even if he's a Sanheim, he would never be on the marquee.

So that to me presents, not only would he not be on the marquee, it wouldn't be just a random candid photo that he's been photoshopped out of and put on the marquee.

What you didn't say earlier when you were describing all of his roles was choreographer.

Well, yes, but is he a choreographer? It's she someone who says that a lot. But the Nutcracker is already choreographed. I don't mean to I don't know that much about dance. You need a dance person there, but he's not. Correct me if I'm wrong, chat. Isn't the nut Aren't those dances already like Don't you learn the nutcracker?

I think there's probably interpretations on a theme. I don't think that's what you're saying that a choreographer is only employed to come up with new dance moves. I thought that's what a choreographer

Here's what I'm in agreement with June in the sense that I think this guy is pulling a scam. I don't think he is he is acting as if he is producing the Radio City musical Christmas.

But this is the this is the thing. Why? You could set it anywhere. Why put it in Palo Alto?

The least Christmy place. Somebody lived there. Somebody had to deal with the mayor. Somebody had to tax something because Makes no sense.

Okay. But it wasn't even shot in Palo Alto. It wasn't where we Oh, Riverside. Oh, it felt to me like Canada all over.

Yeah. No. Riverside, California. So, I think you can't have a Christmas movie without fake snow. And that's where Hallmark does it right. They shoot on the same lot. They have the snow going. They've got the band stand. Like, I can't do it in that kind of climate.

We live in that climate. Yeah. And it ain't Christmas, [ __ ] I agree. It doesn't Wow. By the way, can you say one more time? It ain't Christmas.

And it ain't Christmas, [ __ ] You can put out as MUCH GARLAND AS YOU WANT. I I mean my children live here and I can't give them as much of a Christmas experience.

You're doing your best. You're doing your best, but it's not good enough. I will say my favorite Christmas movie is Mixed Nuts that takes place in Los Angeles in Venice.

In Santa Monica. Yes. Venice. Yes. Like the uh the roller roller like walking with Yeah. commenting on the

All I'm saying is I do think there is a way to do it and I wish you wouldn't dismiss our state and our climate and say like we can't have Christmas or we can't portray Christmas.

I Here's what I think the movie can and I agree with you there, but give us another chance.

The movie wants it both ways because they also keep putting people in winter coats and stuff that's supposed to be hats and that's supposed to be sweaters. Poor carolers who were not good singers accidental carolers.

They were but they probably because there was but they were they were definitely working the craft.

They by the way they were not working it. They were dubbed and so there's so much ADR so many ADR lines in this movie but it's clear they only had a male voice and a female voice for all the ADR lines. So even when it's our leads and it's an ADR line it's not them.

Yes, I saw that too. It's not that. Just take a look at how off they are on the sinking here.

Merry Christmas. Just look at their lips. Yeah. Where's the bell? Nobody's ringing the bell. Nobody's Nobody's holding the bell.

Where is the bell? And those those characters recur throughout the movie. Another non-magical reoccurrence. Oh, all these

I think the movie would have magic in it in some way, shape, or form. And it or

the one the one possible piece of magic we didn't discuss was the actual Nutcracker.

Okay. Well, I think I have trauma from the other movies we've watched because every time that when that Nutcracker I thought she's going to [ __ ] that Nutcracker. If we've learned anything from Chris's movies that [ __ ] want to [ __ ] Nutcracker.

Wow. You've got to come. Really do. course. Oh yeah. No, but I saw it too and I was like

be [ __ ] nutcrackers. They can't. We need to cut together a Jess Sinclair like you like like you need to have your own Christmas special. [ __ ] be [ __ ] nutcracker.

Well, you can see cuz there is there's a lot of ADR. There's they're dropping in like the bell ringing and that. But like when she saw the nutcracker in the window for the first time, there is an audible splash sound effect that is just her getting drenched.

Yeah. for the cracker. Even when the cookie cuz didn't we see one where cookies came to life too?

Well, a nutcracker. A nutcracker came to life. Yeah. But I thought when the cookies were there, I'm like these are going to come to life. Like I just kept waiting for projects to come to life.

Honestly, I feel like I I enjoyed the movie less because I kept wanting something to come to life and [ __ ] someone.

It's interesting cuz when I when Paul and I were watching including all the actors.

Yeah. I I actually and I know you felt differently. You better not change your opinion. You better not change your opinion now for for these two and for that all of them out there.

I know you and I both enjoyed the main leads. Oh, absolutely. Wanted them together. We wanted them together. We loved them. We liked their chemistry.

Wait, the two main leads are main leads. The two people that are in an emotional affair.

Well, yeah. I guess he is engaged. Yeah, but it's loose. It's loose. She is engaged to be married, leaves a planning meeting for her engagement party, runs, chases a man into an elevator, and begins to make out. Wait, is that can you do that, ladies? Can you do that? Is that cool?

If you saw Martha Stewart's documentary, which I highly recommend, she talks about a similar moment where she was married. Yes, she was married and then she went to Florence, fell in love with the food, the sites, the art.

That was their honeymoon. You're right. It was her honeymoon. She goes on a separate trip to see the scenario.

She's up there and she's she leaves the tour or whatever and there's this beautiful Italian man and she makes out with him in the Duomo

and she does not cheating and she doesn't she didn't then and I don't think she does now. And I do think that's the moment we saw with Kayla.

Wait a second. ers Kayla and Casey. Derek Casey Dustin Casey I believe I think she got so caught up in the moment. I know she was using him away from him. Who cares? She's running away from the woman.

Such a [ __ ] [ __ ] She should be making out with Santa as first. First of all, I want to disagree with everyone. First of all, she was good and can't consent. If she was good enough at her job, getting him his headache medication, picking up his socks and doing his cleaning, maybe she would find some love. But she's just sherking off her responsibly

or she's the she's the shop owner. Mrs. Tiddly Winkles. Her name is Mrs. Joiner. June, you seem to be very proud of yourself that you know all the character names.

She's experiencing this new thing. This is like she's so proud. Are you doing Are you taking the new Are you doing remember things and this time I remember them? Jana.

Janna. Wow. Let's talk about Jana. Oh yeah, we'll talk about we'll talk about the the Jana, by the way, is the one who did say they go, "Aren't they engaged?" And she's like, "No, and that's not serious."

Well, that's not cuz you can't take it seriously. She's in an abusive relationship.

She She should get out of it before she starts making out with dudes in elegance. So puritanical

deal in this movie. In this movie, the reality of this movie is that the way people get away from people is to just make out with a stranger. And nobody is surprised by it. Even him really

well because that's a that's a You have a book, The Art of Small Talk. What chapter do you have when you have to just grab somebody and kiss them, right? That is like that's a small talk move, right? Listen, I wish that was a rule in our modern day society. I do.

He is un He has no time to prepare for this kiss. She's not following him. He doesn't know. He's being chased.

How much does he need? How much to be assaulted in my building? Well, okay. If you're Are you talking about Doris Roberts or Kayla?

No, I'm talking about Kayla. Kayla comes in hot. Kayla is adorable. I love the actress.

Just because she's pretty I know the thing. I'm not disagreeing with her. I don't want you to I don't want you to couch out to all, you know, all of them. You love

You're saying Paul's up for grabs in elevators. As long as she's beautiful and not Doris Roberts. As long as As long as she's cute and beautiful,

I would be very upset. Of course, I would be upset. But if Paul were in a miserable relationship where he was in some sort of like host she is being kept emotionally hostage.

Let's watch the scene. This is it. She's He doesn't know she's there. When have you ever seen a glass door on an elevator? Oh, the issues. When have you ever [crying] seen a glass door?

No glass doors. Oh. Oh. Oh. You want to get in? I know. You should start getting prepared. What's happening?

This woman now. She just saw an affair now. Everybody in this small town knows she's from here. Kayla. Everybody knows she's engaged to the superstar.

Look at them. They're going to about to go in for more. I know. I loved it. I thought it was though. She's wearing a gigantic diamond ring. How does he not notice the ring?

The ring ain't nothing. Running away from Miss Joiner. Oh, yeah. He knows it as a thing.

Oh, you you're trying to get away, too. See, that's my point. He thinks it's no bigs. Like, I get it.

He thinks he's meeting the love of his life. Guys, we are under a mistletoe. I feel like we're freaking out.

Where is it? It's above. It's on the It's in the It's It is up there. But you Okay, this is

one life to live. There is Wait a minute. Wow. One life to Why not? We our hearts beat. We have one goround. This is not a dress for her. So,

she should immediately say, "I'm sorry. I'm engaged." And call her guy and say, "You're dumped." And now they can be in love.

Casey Kayla hand. Oh, they have not met. Oh, so cool. Get a handshake. Why not see that ring guy?

I do think that if you're making a movie about mistletoe in an elevator, it should be more prominently displayed like, well, it's okay because of this. Tell us that the mistletoe affects everybody through magic and they cannot not kiss.

Okay, can we just back up for a second? They're just following Christmas rules. Christmas state have mistletoe over you. But it's an engagement.

I wouldn't want to be under mistletoe. If I am, she's running to escape. She's not making a mistletoe choice. She is making Yes.

She has no idea. He knows he's under mistletoe. And then it's a great kiss. Why not go back for a little more? Cuz now we are under.

Well, he should have said, "Well, you know, we are." If I'm him and I find out this woman, this incredible woman that I had this incredible kiss with is engaged and was using me for like extracurricular elevator kisses just so she can get off. I'm like, "Hard pass.

Hard pass. I don't want to be I don't want to be molested by an engaged woman. Would you have stabbed this woman if this was you? stabbed her.

I have stabbed. So that is the only You're saying the only way to say no. The only way to effectively say no is to stab her.

Well, you do have gotten out of Don't even let me touch you at all ever. Okay. Ever.

And I've never stabbed you. And I've never stabbed you. But my point is, what would you do honestly if you're standing in Al someone rushed in and just started kissing you? Oh, first of all, they would never get they would I would if anybody started to come super even if SOMEONE CAME CLOSE TO ME.

By the way, this is even this is even very close for you. This is too close for me. I

I would rather not be in this room with all of you. Um but no, if someone were to come rushing and start trying to kiss me,

I would be like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What's going on here?" Right. Right. You would have some sort of reaction to it

for sure. And it would be initially quite negative. What if they were super hot, though? Because I'm saying Talia Shank perhaps Talia Sh currently Talia Shire. Okay.

I mean I think let's go back to the first one. If it's like a Doris Roberts Yeah. If I look

I want to give you I've got questions about being inside the Copala family about the Rocky movies Godfather movies. I would I would probably take the Talia Shire.

That's what I'm saying. Like I think an old person just to get to the information I'm looking for if if I'm being honest you know.

All I'm saying is life is for the living. Okay. No interesting. No interesting.

It's like [clears throat] we can't, you know, these things things happen. We I know there's all of these like rules you subscribe to and that's great and but but you can't deny life and chemistry and sometimes [ __ ] happens and you have it doesn't make someone a bad person.

So by your logic, we should just be randomly kissing people on the street because there is no like connection with them.

If they're your soulmate, which is exactly what happened here. Yeah. But what you're saying is cheating is okay

if the person if the agrieved party is a bad person. The the Carlton in this case will

if we liked Carlton if he was a good match for her but maybe not forever support that kiss

then the kiss in the elevator becomes bad. But because Carlton is bad. So in this case, she can never be bad unless he is.

Well, but by the way, you don't know this about June, but June is the person who told Schwarzenegger that famous story. Eating's not cheating.

Okay. Yeah. So that's that. So that's where she's coming at it from. Totally. Cheating. Yeah.

Does sound like a St. Clair line. Yeah. Disgusting. Can we talk about Wait, I want to go back. whether you think she's a bad person or not, like listen things again. I'll just say things that it's for the living go around. Okay, so I I do want to talk about Mrs. Joiner though because

and her business. Yes, I do have I do have thoughts on what that is. Yeah, because here's what we know about her for the first interaction with Kay where she comes on way too strong, wants to drink from her, but then we learn that when he comes by, when Dustin comes by to get that nutcracker, she won't stay open for him.

She won't stay open another couple minutes, which makes me wonder how much business winks getting. Her store appears to be one of those like indoor flea market stores, right? Where it's like a series of little cubby holes where different people are selling stuff. There's like one of those Sigman Freud action figures I saw on a shelf.

And then when she before she realizes that Kay has left, she's staring down at the Nutcracker and says something along the lines of like, "Yeah, I should get more of those or clocks."

Yeah. With little figurines around them. Yes, it is absolutely a woman undone. There's that cereal. There's that spying. That is the moment where she starts chasing Kayla.

And why? Why? For no reason. And kill her. Kayla only randomly is following Dustin. She doesn't know he's there. He does. She doesn't know he has the nutcranker. She's just trying to stay away from Mrs. Joiner.

And then and then Dustin does say, "Oh, running away from Mrs. Joiner." as if this is what we know in the town to be true.

Well, she's probably trying to kiss everybody as well. Maybe she was Do we think she was chasing Kayla to French kisser?

Well, now that's a whole other story. I mean, but if she was so hot for business, if she was so into making the sale, then wouldn't she have stayed open for Dustin? That

gives me Stars Holo vibes, though. Like the kooky I feel like they wanted the kooky weirdos of small town holiday nonsense. And this movie does do a lot of those scenes that you don't need where like Dustin's outside of her store and she's like, "Oh, you're here early. Why don't you come inside?" They don't just start the scene like a scene later.

A lot of walkups. A lot of walk ups. A lot of walking down long hallways. They don't need

They just don't have to. There's also is Dustin's house his office or his home?

Well, he's definitely not a kitchen. There's no locking doors. There's no kitchen. It is people knocking. He's like, "Come in. they it's a business, but it's not.

Can I also show you the most upsetting thing about it? Image five here. Um, this is what his house is. And I'll just point out that, you know, an elevator plays a very large part of this uh movie. And this shows us that he is on the ground floor.

He is on the ground. But also, let's take a look at this. I mean, the weird bunny eared thing that's in the center of the screen here, that's weird. It looks like he's in a crate barrel. Like

they rented this loft that was staged and they just said sight unseen. We'll take it. We'll take it. It's everything in the room. Don't leave it. Leave everything

because he is cooking. I mean he is cooking in this kitchen. He does never goes to an industrial kitchen.

He and what's weird is against the law. He wears his chef's whites when he's here cooking at home.

And then he and then he wears them out in the world. Never seen a chef walking about.

Well, I don't think you're supposed to because they have to be clean and they're getting dirty from the outside world. But he also is having only a fiveminute meet up with his friend. Like there's so many meetups in this movie where they just go, "Hey, hey, great to see you. All right, I'm going to leave now." Like they No time passes

and we don't learn anything. No. Well, it's so hard because what I couldn't get I couldn't get my mind around is how Janna if Janna's best friends with um Kayla and they work together at a magazine called a magazine friend but then also it seems like Janna who's a solid 10 and I thought she was beautiful but 10 years older than okay but it seems that they maybe went to high school together cuz she references her being a validictorian.

Okay. If this is part of her selling point, of course, if if a validictorian came up and started kissing you,

would that change? Jason's not going to change his opinion on this. Here's here's the thing. I would love it. I would love it if a beautiful validictorian. I would love a beautiful validictorian to start kissing me in an elevator. The minute she says, "By by the way, BT Dubs, BTK, I am engaged." And that was okay. Just was asking. I was just doing that to distract from Mrs. Joiner. Peace. I'm engaged. I would be like, "Fuck you.

I'm out here giving A+ kisses away to engaged ladies." Okay, here's But back to my question. Janna, I think went to high school with Kay, although I don't know how the numbers work there. And then

Jana was a very bad student. And then he's like Matthew McConn. And then um Dustin also grew up in this town with his cousin.

But they don't know each other. How do they not know each other? That's interesting.

None of them know each other. And and the and Kayla could not be more famous. Knows Dustin though.

Yes. Cuz he's the caterer and they know each other from town and all that. And Mrs. Joiner knows all

Joiner is like pursuit of everybody. But it felt like the show wanted or the movie wanted us to be like, "Oh my god, she's Kayla and nobody seems to really know her except Janet and Mrs. Joy." By the way, they should have made

they should have made Kayla the star and he should have been like the director and she's the star. So cuz like to be the to be the fiance of a famous person is an odd choice. Yeah.

Did the movie answer where Kayla's family is? No. This is her hometown. Well, they all were at the they were all at the dead.

No, they were all at the the party though. Their engagement party and it wouldn't have been his family at the engagement party.

No. Well, he did invite a lot of press. He said, you know, all that Palo Alto press, all that Palo Alto press to cover the PAP, the paps,

the swim, that's the, you know, that's the Did anybody feel this was this was And I I now know it was a K jeweler's ad, but if you told me

Oh my gosh, I'm just realizing something that K's jeweler must have also paid for the bracelet.

Yes, the bracelet. That's the colors of Christmas. The bracelet, the colors of Christmas. What was it?

Missing the color green, by the way. I I couldn't It wasn't the colors of Christmas.

It wasn't. It was What was it? It was red and pink. Also, he said Also, he said, "It's not what you think. I wouldn't be so presumptuous. Aren't they already engaged?"

Yeah. Well, I guess it broke it off, but then she he's coming back. That's the the makopa.

Are those matching? Is that a matching earring? That's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

That's a bracelet. That bracelet, that bracelet makes me want to barf. This looks like a still from a like a jewelry commercial,

right? When it's like he went to the mall and we got a But it also is a terrible presentation of it.

I would think every piece begins with By the way, I have a story. I auditioned.

I auditioned jewelry commercial. I feel like you and I at this point were staying in a friend's trundle bed. Anyway,

wait, hold on. What was that part of the Jason and I for a couple months slept I had a I did you sleep in the trundle or did I

I slept on the floor. Okay. It was a trundle situation. Anyway, I went to a commercial audition for Kay's Jewelry.

Wow. And they made us kiss or the the guy did kiss me and it was so shocking. The audition was like

now you were in that situation. Every kiss begins with Oh my god. Now, it wouldn't have it wouldn't have happened these days.

No, it shouldn't have happened then. We did have a union at that point. They were cool with it. The casting director was like, "Oh, this guy just rolled with it and was like, I'm going in."

I think so. But it was encouraged, and I didn't like it. Wow. You know, he didn't like it that someone just shockingly started kissing you in a scenario that you didn't think was going to be kissing.

Was the audition ever kissed? Wait, don't Has anyone ever Has anyone ever done that?

I'm just I just want to know was the audition. You got mad at me. You got mad at me last time.

I don't I actually don't like being pointed at I so close. I don't like it from across the room and I don't like it there.

We should not be this close to each other. It's too close. I just keep I just gave Here's my question. That presentation was so horrible and I would imagine if Kay is putting in you think Kay put in 100 grand

but it last minute roughly the budgets of these movies run around uh this million1 to $2 million that's the average budget.

So you're okay and you know you put in 100 grand maybe maybe 200 grand. Why don't you have a representative on set

who's not there for that commercial? Not a K bracelet. I don't think but it should have been branded box as opposed to

right. They wouldn't probably K's Julia wouldn't want to give that's the one at the end. That's where it's that

that's every kiss begins with K. If you're going to sue K, it's always every kiss begins with, you know, like that's

right. Right. Yeah. That's a trigger for me. What does it say on the on the bottom? What does it say in front of the ring? The the Leo diamond it says, right?

You know what it says? I mean the chat will tell us. Molly, what's going on with the chat? anything. Check in with Molly. Molly cam, what do we got on the Molly cam?

Hey everybody. Um, sorry to back up a little bit, but a lot of people are pointing out that the beautiful bracelet that's the color of Christmas is actually the color of the lesbian flag.

All right. Oh, I Great to know. Is Carlton a lesbian? Honestly, if Carlton's a lesbian, that makes all the sense in the world.

I would love that. Is his name Carlton? Yes. Great. I'd love to see Carlton at the end of the movie get into a Subaru with another woman, you know. But everything would kind of come together.

Well, Carlton is having he seems to be having an affair now. Once she starts her affair, he starts to have an affair with sugar.

I didn't like that woman cuz I felt like she was moving in. What? Our girls already cheated on him.

Yeah, but she seemed a little like whatever. Separation. They were broken up. Darkhaired girls don't trust them.

Wait, HOT TAKE. OH MY GOD. HOT TAKE. THESE TAKES are incredible. So you're cool. Dark hair girls blond [snorts]

giving unwarranted kisses in elevator. They're trustworthy brunette. No brunette to dye my hair blonde. No mermaid. She's the one.

I don't know if there's any footage of that woman during the dance numbers. But terrible. No, but some of them were at least actual dancers. I'm not saying they were good, but they were dancers. And then there was our brunette, right? the dark-haired villain who was truly like the most hilarious part is she wasn't she was looking around sort of doing a lot of this doing a lot of just like little jumps little like this this little jumps little jumps looking looking then her role in this is to complain about all the dancers

right yeah and I had an eagle eye on her she is not a dancer because she had an acting role

well I mean when you see the sets and the props all in there then it really then she really pops the pear down version He should be the star.

There is a little old though, right? To I mean, and then hair. Now you can't hurt for darkhaired girls. And

I agree with Paul. She was grossly old. First of all, and I thought I felt uncomfortable about it because like between her and Doris Roberts, I was like, every woman in this is elderly.

Wow. Okay. So, I I've never seen the Nutcracker and I just assume that the sugar plum fairy is a little girl who dances.

No. Who's that girl? That's uh I don't remember her name, but Clara. Yeah. Why isn't she Why isn't she at rehearsal?

Uh she's like the queen of you know the other world. Angelica Houston. Like that kind of a thing.

What? She's not That's a dangerous brunette right there. The Nutcracker [clears throat] Paul. I guess you were very This is making me like Carlton a lot more because he was just trying to cast the roles the way he saw them. He's not interested in this is a very paired down version of the Nutcracker. This is like when I saw like Patty Leone do Sweeney Todd and there's only two people.

I just want to make sure just to not to swing you back out of Carlton's favor, but he does say at a certain point, I'm the draw.

Yeah, he says he's it's not about the dance. It's not about the dancers. It's about him. This is an ego's battle for him.

Also, Carlton's abusive to the dancers. He throws his script off the, you know, and in this day and age, it's not this day and age, is it?

It's 2017 in the movie. 2015. Oh, okay. Now was different time. A different time.

That I when when the movie started and and we were about 15 minutes in, I thought for sure that Dustin was a pastry chef.

Same. I have to refer to him as the baker. The baker. He only bakes. We only see him baking. And then he's baking more stuff for And I thought for a long time he was making food for dogs.

Yeah. But it was to raise money for the dogs. Me too. I thought they were making dog cookies.

I really want to go over the number of events that we are working toward in this movie that that are on the docket that

none of which are important whatsoever. So there is the engagement party that which at a certain point there's no engagement. So that sort of turns into just like a party

which is doubling is doubling as Carlton's like um a premier party. He's invited press. He's invit he's

So the show has opened. I think it's about to I think I think this is in service of that.

So there's that. And also I do want to address the fact that at one point he says we have to keep our engagement because it will help the opening of the show. Right line.

What's even crazier at a certain point is that she says we're holding off on our wedding until after the after Christmas because it's he has he's so busy with the show. But that means they haven't they're going to only start planning their wedding right after this show. So they're like a year away from getting married.

Time to make out with a lot of other guys and see if we even want to do that. See if we can beat this.

So then there's also a fundraiser for animal shelter, but at one point Paul you said it's not for the shelter, it's for the people who work there.

No, I mean it's it you thought it was for the dogs and I was saying it's for the it's for the organization. It's for the organization ultimately. It's for the dogs though. I hope that money is not overhead cost.

That fundraiser is for the dog shelter. However, they want to break up. But to be fair to June, I agree. I would love to get a look at those books.

I'd love to get a look at the books for this for this shelter because I don't trust these guys.

He didn't seem to make that many cookies that would actually bring in like a lot of dogs and only Joshua's working there. They're always barking.

There's another event. There's some sort of community event that they are going to that she she has made flyers.

Yeah. What are the postcards? The dog event to give out at some community event. Then correct me if I'm wrong chat.

I believe there's also something that she calls a tree event. Yes. Which is sort of the Christmas market she goes to. I think that might be

the u where but it might also be part of the fundraiser for the dogs. There's also in a montage a carnival.

Yes, that's right. They also go to a full carnival. I think that's the pier. And that's after she just said she had the most the best time of her life researching the maker of the nutcracker. Yes.

This we have that image, Molly. That whole story. artist, the 80-year-old man who made the Nutcracker.

Well, like what Nutcracker comes with like like I don't Well, I didn't know that Nutcrackers were so specific like to the maker. It's like it's like they're getting all Jupit as if this man invented the concept of a nutcracker and I want to read a book about.

Wouldn't that be great? But no, this is just a store-bought nutcracker that they're pawning off as some like great artisan. Oh, they also did a thing in this scene where they're texting where each of them says aloud the text that is then shown word for word on screen.

Sometimes it's different because he said seriously that's great. And then when she got it just said seriously no dot dot dot that's great.

Oh funny. But now this is what she says. She says researching Vance has been two of the most fulfilling hours I've had in a long time.

Her life her life is dog [ __ ] She was like she was a validictorian of her class and she is now ter she's terrible.

Wikip Wikipediaing has been the most fulfilling time. So he's so down on her. He's like you write that article yet tonight. Like he's so everybody everybody wants for her to get laid. They want to get her laid. That's everybody's everybody in the town with the exception of Mrs. Joiner who wants to make that sale. Everybody is like, "Let's get her coupled up." I don't know what

cuz she's wasting time. She's a bad business manager. She's out making postcards.

She's engaged. Yeah. But no one liked her. The cousin her [snorts] body be banging. No one cares about her. They throw her deep side part like and we never see them. You know what I mean? Like her pizza.

I thought that was very sinister. He's like, "Want to come to pizza?" I'm like, "That's the last we're going to see of that cousin." Wait, you think Joshua's a BTK style murderer?

You think you think we never see Kim again because she's bound, tortured, and killed?

I personally really liked the fact that Dustin was on her ass about doing her work.

But here's the deal. I've never seen that in a movie. What's on her plate right now? She's She's [clears throat] She has nothing. She has nothing on her plate.

She's separated from She's like She's paraphrasing a note card into an article for Tempo magazine or whatever. Here's a hot take. Here's a hot take you guys are not going to see coming.

Oh boy. I single unsaid to be Carlton's business manager. So honestly, all of the duties that she's pissed about doing. Yes,

that's her job. This is what I've been saying. You're saying, do you think she's getting paid for that? If I don't see a direct deposit,

if I don't see cash in my hands or in the bank, that's not a job. So, you think she's working for free?

I do. I do not think he's paying her. But then don't agree to it. If you agree, yes, I will do this for you and then you disappear for 3 days. If I'm not being paid to get to go to court, I have to be an indentured service.

He's relying on her to get the show up on its feet and he's got to focus their [ __ ] look. Look at this. Look at this. Even though they've broken up, he's got requests. Please pick up my favorite socks. Where are you? How come you're not answering your phone? I have a headache. I need some medicine.

Guys, can I ask you a very, very, very honest question? Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

Yes. Really? You do? Yep. I wore these today. Yeah, those are good socks. I do. I have a couple now of the same pair.

I treat myself like [ __ ] I don't think of my socks in any way. I don't think of them as

No. Can I say something? And this is very vulnerable right now. Okay. I actually have I've been on a mission just this year to upgrade my sock situation. Love this. because I know it's something I've never paid attention to in my whole life and you'd like to pay attention to them. I always like they were haphazard and then what I would do and this is actually very vulnerable is because I didn't care about them. I never got new ones.

I totally understand that. So this year is the first year where I'm like I deserve I want

You had to go to a single for that. I did because it's been a very empowering thing for me to to to say and to feel that I deserve good socks. Wonderful. Bombas Bombas is the brand to go. What is this? Bombas. Is this a K JEWELER SITUATION? WHY ARE YOU guys selling Bombas?

And you know what? Every time you buy a pair of socks, they give some money to charity.

It's not. Okay. No, Bombas does. Bombas Bombas does. I do have a pair of athletic socks that I like that I like.

I have here's the thing. I similarly a bunch of years ago just bought all new socks that were good like good socks but I don't have a f like that's my favorite pair I just am like socks foot go you know but I don't have shitty I agree I have good

socks expect you to have bought all of the same socks sock put them all in a drawer you don't have to pair them correct

those [ __ ] are just very but you have so you have a favorite sock sock sock but he has favorite socks but out of those socks he's not But this is my favorite.

No. I think we don't have a favorite of these. Correct. Well, I think what you guys aren't maybe into is and I will say Paul got me into this. I would see that he had he liked a playful sock.

Well, that's Paul. I used to, but then I was but then I I sort of got him away from that and said like we're not going to show our personalities through our socks.

Yeah, she yelled at me about that. She yelled at me about that and then I stopped the playful sock. This is a This is a very special one. I put this out. I'llow I'll allow it. What's interesting is I don't know if you've noticed this, but I've now you're taking on a playful sock. I've started to get like that happy sock brand. I'm like, I like those live stream underwritten by socks.

You know, here's a cautionary tale. Matt Lowour, when I met when I met him, remember we used to go on. No, remember we used to go on?

Of course I do. He never wears socks. Ew. A loafer without socks. That's disgusting.

That's serial killer [ __ ] You know what my barberg my barber Rudy told me? He I was wearing my I was wearing

I was wearing my socks up and he's like that's that's good. He's like that it like that you wear you pull your socks up the size of your

face. If you don't you got to be eyes out for those men who are going socksless into a loafer.

Bad. It was such a It was such a look for a while right around this time actually like the late teens. the like slightly high uh I think that's a great look and a bare ankle.

You like that look point at me. I do like I do like that look but that's with a no-show sock. Correct.

Yeah. I think what I think what we're realizing though is touching. Why do they Why do they burn when you touch it?

I I think what we're realizing is socks are your happy and there's a lot of happy in this movie. Can we play the montage of happy. Yeah, this is something that I thought they were trying to make a thing, but it wasn't. This is the montage.

That was really That turned my stomach. I kept waiting for there to be a threesome with the cousins and her because there was one.

Look at these cookies. They look so happy. They were made with happy. Well, the real happy is coming up. So, what's the happy?

This could be the beginning of a softcore porn. Could it not? We're throwing dough at each other. Oh, I got to take this thing out off.

This is the happy I was talking about. This is seriously happy. Here's my movie pitch. My movie pitch is, wouldn't it have been so much better if Kayla and Kim Kim, what's the cousin's name? If they ended up together because she and he have so little chemistry. Oh, wow. That's a that is a deep side part. Um, I was like, "Oh, like Kim is more interesting to me than Kim is great." I really and I know you felt this way too, Paul. So, I don't want you to just go.

I know cuz I know you felt this way too. I thought they had great chemistry. I love them together.

Well, now if I was to disagree with you, I would have been lying the first two times that you made me agree that I did feel this way.

You made me a relationship like I thought they had a great relationship and they were really good. Really good. Why are you living in California? I love being out here. SOS endorse okay if anyone kisses anyone in elevator. Come on.

Fine. Don't point out any of that. And if June wants to chase someone down the street and kiss them in a magical elevator, as long as it's mistletoe, I'm okay with it.

GUYS, DID ANYBODY SAY AT any point in this movie that the elevator was magic? No, I think Doris Roberts Doris Roberts says, you know, they say not that it's magic, but that they they they tell stories about this elevator or this elevator has a story to it.

I think it was meant to be a magic It's soft magic. I think it's soft magic. I actually soft magic.

That's what I tell the ladies. You're about to You're about to see the soft magic. Close your eyes.

The hard magic, ladies. Merry Christmas. Happy blow year. And may you have some hard magic in your future.

Now, isn't that what they call that stuff you put on ice cream? I will say this. I want to I want to talk I want to talk for a second about the elevator in general. Uh, and I think that maybe the best person to hear from is one of the stars of the film.

Oh, no. Brandt Dy. Uh, we were able to uh get him on the show. So, this is Brandt.

Hey, jerks. Uh, what's up? Brand here. You probably recognize me better as the star of Merry Christmas. And wanted me to share some anecdotes. Ask me what uh kissing Doris Roberts was like. Is it weird that there's mistletoe in an elevator? All amazing questions. none of which address the point. This movie was written by an insane person. And I looked up her resume and it turns out she's written exclusively holiday films where the leads kiss in an elevator. And I'm like, "What the [ __ ] happened to you in an elevator?"

Anyway, the movie was directed by a man who couldn't give half a [ __ ] what happened. I asked him, "What are we doing here?" and he looked up from his phone and went,

"I don't know." Looked back down. I went, "Oh [ __ ] Wow." Doris Roberts. She leans into me and she goes "Brandt

I'm going to try something." And I was like, "Say less. You may have my body." And so, unscripted, she pulls me in, kisses me, slips me the [ __ ] tongue, and then slaps me and walks away. Anyway, the movie makes no sense on a cellular level from moment to moment. The fact that you've watched it and can highlight that I am supposed to be in an elevator but I live on the first floor. Like I can't tell you how much I [ __ ] love and respect you guys because this is exactly the kind of critical minds we need watching this film. We need people who can understand the madness and I feel like you see it.

I love I love you guys. That was like the longest cameo of my life because you hit on a very niche subject for me. So

possibly including Paul. I love you guys. I hope you have an amazing amazing Christmas. Please look up the writer of this movie and and and let me know. Has she branched out at all from people making out in elevators? Cuz I hope not.

Well, BR, thank you. B and and and so now I'm going to say I've only gotten better looking. What did I say? I've only gotten better. He's a star. We broke Oscar Isaac's on this podcast and I operate. I'm gonna devote the rest of my career to making that guy a staring him opposite June and I.

So now do you understand why she lives to be lived in which we just make out with him for like four or five hours?

Let me just say that Brandt was also in 50 Shades Free as Sawyer. He is the bodyguard that Christian hires for Dakota Johnson. I do want to bring up one thing that Brandt said, which was that Doris Roberts improvised the kiss.

I think she improvised in one take the tongue and the slap. Oh, okay. Got it. The K Jewelers guy in similarly.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Cuz I was going to say that's a major I thought that at first too, but when for sure needed to just update her SAG insurance. I have been in some interesting movies with with older, more wellestablished actors who clearly don't need the money who just say, "You know what? Let me just do my hours,

right? Come in, come out, and then we're done." Okay, got it. All right. So, she's she's clocking hours.

100%. Wow. Wow. What if I told you though she was getting paid in gift certificates to g K jewelers?

Oh my god. I this was that was these two things both rock me. I know. I'm really I have a note that just says I like him.

I It makes me want to elevator writer movies. Well, by the way, I will say this that Brandt also uh wrote the first parody Christmas movie for the Hallmark Channel.

Oh, cool. In 2019 called the Christmas Christmas movie. Cuz I also I feel like we haven't spent enough time on Kayla. I really liked Kayla. Yeah, we have nowhere to go. Only complaints I had about her is she didn't turn off her phone notifications.

Oh, well, this is an issue. Yeah, I do have this issue. I think that if you don't know to turn your notifications off when you're with a group of people, you are these are works that she should be handling.

I don't care. You can still get those notifications and have your phone on silent.

But this is 2015 when people they didn't have that option. They didn't have that option there. I found that to be insane to go on a romantic date

with potent a prospect. A post-engagement prospect dates prospects. A post engagement prospect.

Yeah, she prospectctor look your notifications on. Well, also so Brand is so sweet. He's always like, "You should take that."

That's your ex. And I love that we're just calling him Brandt now. But that's why I love Brandt. when she describes to him that her relationship is over and she says I'll describe it in Twitter size 140 characters or less

and I was like what what what is this? Seriously, why does she go back to Carlton?

For no people make decisions in this movie for no reason other than plot. This is why he says and this is why I think probably her parents are dead at a very young age or something and she's looking for love and but he says he says that that you're more important to me than work and that's what she's been waiting to hear is that she's important

right cuz he she's like kind of threatening him like I'll break up with you and then he was then he said but I love you and then she was like now you're confusing me

but the final thing that makes her come back is she said he says you're more he says you should get back to the ballet and he says you're more important to me than work.

That's how bad her self worth is. Well, because if I were her, I would look at Brandt and say, "Okay, he also really cares about his work. He wants to open up a restaurant,

but I don't think he's going to be open up a restaurant anytime soon." Really? Jumping in from like baking.

We saw We saw him make zero food beyond cookies that look not good. He bought a nutcracker like what I would make.

Most of his cooking was buying a nutcracker. Okay. And when they're doing when they're at when they go into the day and they're going to do the um he's wearing the suit and this is where he realizes that they are fianced. Um he he is standing in front of a table that you would think would have examples of all the food he's going to serve, but it's a roll of bubble wrap,

a big brown just box full of stuff. Like it looks like just random supplies. You don't understand like haven't you seen Top Chef? They spend a lot of time just like writing notes.

Yeah. Try kind of ideating, thinking about things, checking out different dogs. Like they have to kind of get out in the world before they want create something. They have to

But here's the thing. If I'm her and I am nervous that that um this guy, my fiance won't commit. He's not going to nail down a date. He's obsessed with his work. And then I see Brandt and we have that amazing kiss. And he's also he's a guy who wants something out of life. He's a go-getter. He wants he's an entrepreneur. Great.

Loves dogs. And then I see that he's willing to adopt a dog. Oh yeah. Mary that man.

But she still goes back to Carlton. That's what I isn't good. That's why though. We don't ever understand why she's making such terrible decisions. Because I want Jana seems to want to shake her and say like cut it out.

Jana needs to get a life. Jana needs to get [ __ ] life. when Jana Well, yeah, because what Ka Kayla is like, "How come you're not dating him?"

Exactly. I think Jana I think Jana is honestly as a single white female thing to Kayla cuz why is she so obsessed with Kayla's life? Focus on yourself. Get out there.

I just want to bring up one thing because as I'm hearing all this conversation, we're watching Kayla do the same mistake twice. She's with a man who's obsessed with his work and then this guy also obsessed with his work. He wants to open up a restaurant. That's no easy task. Well, that's why he says to her when she makes those, I'm going to be honest, terrible postcards for him.

Yeah, they are bad. He says, "Hey, postcards isn't her dream. Is getting the other guy's f favorite socks. She's just doing the exact same nonsense, googling." So, he's like, "Hey, don't do this for me. Do something for you." You know, do something for you. And and that's when she is like and her the second wish of the movie is I wish I knew how to set boundaries. And I'm like

okay is that what this whole movie has this movie now? But I guess I just understood the movie.

All right. This is a movie about a [clears throat] woman with writer's block. Oh, okay.

She is doing everything she can. She's being a businessman, unpaid business manager/in. We don't know about the unpaid thing. Let's not make comments about that.

He's not paying her. There's no way. She's doing every even when she's in the right relationship because he's forcing her to write, she gets out of it.

She just doesn't want to see that little cursor blinking back. I get that. I do understand that. I do understand that blank at the end of this movie. She should have written the thing. I think

I think she's about to she she is about to. A year later. Too late Kayla. It's a year later. He has moved to LA. He has not opened a restaurant. They're on a ferris wheel. Are they

in LA? Yeah, they're on the Santa Monica Pier later. I don't know if that was meant to be.

Or is it a Palo Alto pier? I That's what I was on the coast. I couldn't I had to I looked it up. There is coastline in Palo Alto because I was like because in the middle of that montage, what's weird is they're they're under a bridge and Oh, yes. They are multiple times at the carnival doing stuff that is peer-based, but they start They start their date montage and they're wear he's wearing the Buffalo sweater, the bison uh sweater, the big shaggy white sweater. Looks great in that sweater.

Great sweater. He ends the montage in that sweater. That's correct. In the midst of the montage, they each are wearing 10 other outfits.

Yes, that's what I mean. Like they covered a lot of ground. The montage suggests that days have passed, but they end exactly where they started. Same, same out, same day. Because I think in a weird way they probably shot, you know, now they so they were like we don't have time for this change. Nobody if if Brandt is telling us that the director went I don't know and back to his phone. Nobody's tracking outfits. I feel like Brandt probably and the the lovely actors who played Kayla, they were had to direct themselves.

By the way, here we go. One year later, same outfit. Here's what I want to say and this is important for me. There is entirely too much face grabbing during all kissing in this movie. Every kiss is full of it must be direction because Carlton doesn't

anyone was directing. Everybody is doing so much face t like big face grabbing touching chin grabbing. If someone ever touches my chin like this, I'm going to break their [ __ ] If I ever went to grab a girl by the chin like this, like you little cute, I would expect to be stabbed even if I would understand it.

Yeah. You would go this way and I would slowly slowly put an eye like a slow while making full eye contact. Yes, exactly. Just a tiny stiletto blade that you've got. Um it's real. There's so much big grabbing of faces that I was like, don't don't get all grabby with the head. But I feel like you need I think that that's a movie thing. Like you need to like be pulling someone cuz it is weird to be like

it's if you don't grab when you're doing an onscreen kiss. I think it feels like it's just too much space to cover.

I'd love to know how many real life face grabs are going on. You know, I think very few.

So so few. You think? So I don't I can't I don't think you need to because you know what's happening.

You don't need a guideline to be like okay let me face. Yeah. It's like a you know an airplane this way.

It's like I want to I got to put my hand on your head so that I know where to put my so that my lips have a direction to move. It's wherever my hand is.

And I but I feel like when someone's got you by here it's so quick that you could go snap. I don't like two hands. like the BTK character. There's two hands. They They're doing two hand kisses. They're making sure she doesn't get away.

Doris Roberts is head grabbing. He's head grabbing. Carlton's head grabbing. It's head grab city in this.

Well, I mean, you have to because you're not sure like a lot of these kisses are are stolen valor kisses. I mean, they're not there's no consent. This is not a movie about you're trying to keep people together.

So few people in this movie are receiving kisses that they wanted. There's a lot of kissing in this movie, but many of the kisses are unprompted and surprising to one of the two.

I think that's part of her kink. Honestly, Kayla's nois the writer. Yes, I agree.

Yeah, I think our boy Dustin in one day is tw backtoback days. First he gets on an elevator and Doris Roberts molests him. Second day Kayla molests him.

But that I would take and he says, "Why didn't I take the stairs?" Yeah. Well, he's

Well, again, he lives on the first floor. I will say I will I will say and why did I take the elevator? Yeah,

I will say that. Why didn't I just jump out my window? Some of the face touching I think is is maybe tied to the the thematic song. I'll read you some lyrics here. It says, "Chasing clouds as they go by, trying to find the reason why you elevate my love. I can't wait to get across the Frisco Bay by your touch captivated. You're too much." What is this? The lyrics of it, which I believe someone's family member must have.

It was It was It was the uh the person who the scored the film. Yeah, it was. Uh but yeah, it was Yeah, it was Yeah, it's Elevate My Love by Brandon Jarrett, the composer of the film. Elevate My Love.

When they do their montage of falling in love right? Mhm. Do you think they [ __ ]

I should hope so. A couple times. No, they're never [ __ ] You don't think they [ __ ]

No, she's not. She's a good girl. She's staying over. Well, first of all, where's she sleeping? On the street.

Well, she's sleeping on that sofa in that hotel room. Yes, that was weird. That was weird. It also felt like cuz it's the that cut is weird because she starts typing.

Yes. And then it's her waking up and he's typing on the same computer. I thought he was stealing her idea.

I thought I was like, "Wait a minute. Has she never has she never been typing?"

Like, is is this his story? Is he Is this his story? It's like a John Candy Delirious movie where his

I thought for sure he was stealing the idea and he was going to run off with this

really Nutcracker and it was going to be his next big hit. Oh, cool. Although that's a great idea for a sequel.

By the way, I will say this. I think the reason why she had to stay in the hotel room is because it was full of cosplayers cuz there's a convention in town. If you look at scene one, uh scene one when they first check into the hotel, this is just a image. things that's true throughout the movie is they own nothing. They have not gotten clearance for any they are shooting in the real world in a movie with no extras. Cosplayers are out.

It feels like often times they are just existing in the world like the they're they have not like I believe the the Chachki store is I don't think they set decorated that at all. I think they found a store full of nonsense and put it nutcracker and wrote it in. I also think possibly the guy who plays the guy who plays the doorman has so much.

Holy cow, the bellhop and he has also no magic. Like combine all these no magic.

But I would think is that someone's dad? He's dressed like a 1930s bellhop for no reason why.

And he's working the side door. He's not working a front door. He's the only guy.

There's also these lingering close-ups of him. Like after they say that we're not getting married till January, they cut to him and he's like, "Huh?" hair pouring out of his his his weird hat.

Like, what's happening with him? I couldn't make heads or tails out of that guy. What's going on?

I thought maybe he would be the Santa Claus. Like, wouldn't it be funny? He kept going back to that Santa when she says, cuz this is, we talked about it a little bit, but the movie keeps giving us setups for magic, but then nothing.

The wishes. He does three wishes with that Santa. None of which when she says, "I want that girl to have all of her dreams come true." I was like, "Okay, we're going to see that girl's dreams come true." Doesn't happen. When she

does it, though, cuz there was a moment where I thought that that girl on the bench was the dark-haired girl that

Sugar Plum Fairy Sugar Houston Plum Fairy. I think any like popped into the So that if that's the case, then then yes, I hope that's then

it's not. I want it to be. I know. But want is not always what happened. Okay. Real. And I will say that the last Santa time he's like, "Well, you'll figure it out." Like he gave me and I f you Santa. If you are going to come in and interrupt me looking over a bridge and then you have no advice but to say,

"You'll figure it out. Wait, how about the fact that she has twice wished with Santa and then this third time she wishes in a fountain with Santa there next to her."

You know what I thought? I said to Paul, it's too much too many wishing. Too many wishes. I said to Paul, "Oh my gosh, she threw the bracelet away."

Oh, that would have been great. I thought she had, but no, I feel like there's a checklist for like all these like movies and this writer just took all of them instead of just like like take four and then write around the four. But she's like, I'll do the wishes, I'll do the Santa, I'll do the dogs, I'll do the cooking,

but all of them only halfway. Yeah. All of them only halfway. None of the none of these component pieces are enough. Like the wishes needed to actually come true or the the cooking needed to be seen and tasted and eaten and all.

It makes me realize that all of the Hallmark movies we've seen with Melissa Joan Hart.

Yeah, she's got some really well done. We've seen the best of them. Molly, I want to go to the crowd. I want to see what people are saying in the chat. Any comments that are happening? Anything that we could add to I forgot that this we've been going so

we misunderstood anything. Are they correcting us? Absolutely. Well, and I wanted to point out and people are obsessed with this uh bellhop. [snorts]

Um would it surprise you to learn that he is the line producer of THIS MOVIE? NOT AT ALL.

NO, IT WOULDN'T. NOT AT ALL. YEAH. His name is He's not an actor. No. The other thing that we've been learning in the chat about the writer of this film, who writes a lot of Elevator Christmas movies, um she also uh created a romance streaming service called Passion Flick with Elon Musk's sister.

Whoa. And apparently we need to go down the rabbit hole of Passion Flick because I think this is some gold.

Wow. Passion Flick. Passion Flick. Sweet. I don't need to be supporting the Musks.

No, I mean, yeah. Well, you know, but sister we don't know what her politics are, you know, like she's Yeah, you're right.

Interesting. Anything else we missed before we get into some second opinion? Um, everybody's talking about how beautiful Molly is.

Oh, okay. Okay. Take that. Yeah. Tonight, Molly. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I was I supposed to pay attention to other comments

and that's it. All right. Well, look, this has been great. And you know, obviously we have an opinion about this movie. There are people out there that have a different opinion. So, uh, I checked in with the Wolves of Glendale, uh, a hilarious band. H, they're recording an album right now, and they put together a song for us.

Cool. Jason and June talk a lot about what makes a movie good or not, but everyone knows they're actually full of [ __ ] We need a second opinion. Someone knows what they're talking [singing] about. We need a second opinion. We [singing and music] need a second. Oh, give me a second. We need a second opinion.

Fantastic. They're great. Love the Wolves of Glendale. Uh they'll be at Sketchfest in San Francisco uh later in the month at the Great American Music Hall. They also have been doing this like uh Iron uh chef music show where they just released a they get like assigned a topic and they have to write a song about it.

Oh, that's cool. They did one for the Clippers. They did one for uh Shrek. It's been

that's right up your alley. What the Shrek? All right. So, Merry Christmas. Uh there's only one review on Amazon.

Oh, one review on Amazon and it's a fivestar one. That's it. So, we had to go to Letterbox as well. So, I'm going to go back and forth between Letterbox and Amazon, and we'll start off with uh Splash Point. Says, "What a surprise to see three of Hallmark's star studs in this film." Oh, wow.

Though not the channel's hard hitters, these always bring a smile to my face. First, the very cute Ben Lavine. He always brightens the screen. His star shines midmov as the story shift side.

Side part. Okay. Then there's the handsome David O'Donnell who commands a wonderful presence in his scenes when sporting a beard. Carlton that's Yeah. Okay.

That's Carlton. Yeah. When sporting a beard, I often do not recognize him at first, but looking more closely, his give him away.

And then there's the Hey, super quick cue. Where's he from? Uh, he's from Welssley, Massachusetts.

SUPER COOL. THAT SOUNDS about right. Um, and then there's a love interest, Bran Dardy, who offers the warmth that that Christmas romcom needs. He's like the whipped cream a top a cup of hot cocoa.

But I still have questions. Is it Santa, the bellhop, or Mrs. Billings who plays any magical role in the blooming relationship, 10 out of 10 stars. So, it ends with a question, but

her question about the magic did not hold her up. No. Yeah, not at all. Um, Inazomi wrote, "Technically a bad movie by all measures, but it grows on you with rewatches. Don't just immediately turn it off uh when it comes on TV. Give it some time. Give it a shot." Certain audio parts, even the fiance's dramatic accent or the store lady's over-the-top antics grew on me. It went from a six technically to a nine star because they are there are some grading parts, but I really like certain scenes. So, I I don't want it to be lost in all my nine stars. To avoid spoilers, I'll just say the bulk of the scenes worth watching and letting grow on you are at the beginning and at the end. Now, with all that being said, this really doesn't deserve a 10 star. Nevertheless, it's worthy of a rewatch or two when you catch it on TV or when you're in the mood for phrases and moments that get caught in your head and resurface from

time to time. 10 out of 10. when you're in the mood for phrases and moments that get caught in your head.

Honestly, there was a phrase the cousin who just loved Kim. She did say when she was really upset that Brandt did not go after Kayla, she kept on saying she's miffed at him.

She's like, I'm really miffed right now. And I don't get miffed all the time, but I am miffed right now. And I was like, wow, I haven't heard miffed in ever.

Well, really, it's been a while. They don't use it anymore. Hot chocolate of words. They We It has now been normalized. You can say pissed on TV, but you can't say it on Hallmark.

Right. Niff. Um I will say this, Jason. I'm pulling this one out for you because this is um

I I think it's sir 341. The subject line is love in an elevator. Okay. And um it just it up while we're going down. It says, "Christ is filled with magic, and in this movie, the magic comes in the shape of an elevator. Rumor has it that when people meet in the lift, they will fall in love. Sppy sppy gush gush. Well, it's Christmas.

What the? Jason, did you write? Was that you? Did I write this in an active blackout?

Was this Was this written last night? Oh my gosh. You know what? I wonder if there is elevator kinks. Like if that's a real saw. Yes, we saw one. I'm just saying I think that is a thing.

Oh, it's got to be. I'm Molly. Can you look it up? Will you look up elevator kink tonight?

No, no, it's demonstrated for sure, but I mean like it is very Now we know the the the people that are that love this kink are putting it into our Christmas movies. And are we comfortable with this sexy elevator play, right?

I would love it to be consensual is all I'm saying. I understand. I would love for elevator play to be consensual. That's all I'm asking.

Maybe that's a part of what the play is. Well, I guess now I mean in the UK they call it lift play

because I think a lot of it too like the jostling puts you on each other. Yeah. Okay.

You know, and the lights going out. That's what we want. But neither of those things

in the clips too because we don't have it in this movie. In this movie, he gets stuck in the elevator alone and he has his

He has an intercom system though. And you know how all elevators have an intercom system that drops into the lobby? You know how you just talked to the elevator when you uh when you stuck in it when you you just talked to it.

He was talking to the mistletoe. No one was talking to the elevator. He says he's talking to the elevator. Elevator. You screwed me.

You stopped me from meeting the girl in my blah blah. He's mad at the elevator.

Which would lead me to believe it. The magic of the movie that the elevator has orchestrated that he's there.

I would love it if everybody knew that. if everybody knew that. Is this real or is this the elevator's magic?

Doris Roberts is like moving out and she's like, you know, I'll tell you this elevator is magic. Everybody comes.

You know what would have been awesome? Or you know what would been awesome? Every time he meets Doris Roberts out of the elevator, she's rude to him and acts like she doesn't she doesn't even know that it

it's basically a horny elevator. Once you set foot in the elevator, all inhibitions are gone and you just experience love. That makes sense. And then in the outside world, you have to come to grips with who you are as a human being and find your way to the love that the elevator knows you already have.

And the name of that movie is The Elevator. The stop gush. Get ready for some hard magic.

Yes. Um would you recommend this movie, Jason? I don't know. Here's the thing. Sort of. I mean, sort of. Yes, absolutely. for the thing. But if you're going to be watching,

a lot of us are putting on holiday movies in this season. I'm going to say absolutely put this in the mix.

It's longer than it should be. So, this is a great point and I made this note. So, do we we all talk so often about how you clicked pause and how is there still 40 minutes left? How is this? Okay,

I did check. For the first time ever, the first time I paused to say, how long is this movie? How much more do I have? I was sub 10 minutes. I was eight and a half minutes into the movie before I was like, I I think this has been an interminable amount of time. Am I almost done? And I was like, oh, I've watched none of it so far.

Wow, that's really hard. It chilled me to the bone. I thought the movie was over and I saw 45 minutes left and I was like, wait, but it didn't have she breaks up with Carlton and gets out of this sadist relationship she's in. very early on at like 20 minutes in. That's why it's so the pace of it is so confusing.

And I would also say in these Hallmark movies that are so successful, there's a an hour and a half buildup to just a kiss.

When we load 5 minutes to 8 minute mark of the movie, there's not a lot to live up to. I know.

Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know what I'm rooting for. You know what I mean? Like they seem to be obviously well matched. So just be together. There isn't anything incredibly difficult. There's no hurdles really. There is no

they only put their they put their hurdles up in front of each other. They all they need to do is choose each other. And that's it.

Well, if you remember some of the the very powerful um moments of dialogue in the movie when she says to him, "Did I cross a boundary?" And he goes, "No, you didn't make one."

Again, like those are the hurdles. Those are the types of hurdles. Those are the hurdles like and think about it in this movie. Those are the hurdles very real life. In the past, the hurdles have been like this is a nutcracker that has been brought to life. This was a dog that has become a man.

And now he's like he's specifically saying those are the hurdles that most people are dealing with this movie are like you have intentions to be a writer and do all of this, but your counter intentions are stronger and are overpowering what you really want.

And we never heard how the nut subtle stuff. We I couldn't believe we never saw the performance. We never saw any of that. Nothing.

No, because I believe it ends the night before. She says, "I'm flying out the night before." She goes, "I'm not going to see the show. It's too painful."

And then she says to the Uber driver, "Give me 10 minutes." And then she goes into the elevator. So that's the night before we're led to believe the show went on.

I think so. Oh, I think Carlton for the theater. He knows his name is above the title. It's going to be the draw. Yeah, he is. He is the draw.

He's a choreographer, director, actor. He's one of the best. Um, we always make shirts here at the show and and I think that, you know, [ __ ] that's not Christmas is definitely uh one that I feel like that's the way to go. But I do want to just pull out that we did remake the very first shirts we ever made here on the show. This is a ridiculous cage. Uh, which, uh, the original people at Earwolf thought we were going to get sued by Nicholas Cage and they told us we had a seasoned desist, which I don't think was real. Um,

that's a that's a nice stocking stuffer. This was also very much during his very ligious period. So, I I think we did the right thing.

Now, this is one that we also got in trouble for. This is a legitimate in trouble because it's a BB-8 and it says, "What is its mission?" That's a June shirt, but there was wrong punctuation in it and uh and people got angry because there was an it because there's no apostrophe.

I think that makes it cool. That's what I thought, too. And I was like, isn't that cool? It's like a little collector's and then someone said, "I will not wear a shirt with bad grammar on it." I would love I would love it if we had a button to unsubscribe people.

If we could, you can't listen anymore. We Great news. You Thank you so much. Boop. You are unsubscribed. So, our Christmas gift to you is that you can go get these original shirts that have never been available since uh they were taken down and threatened legal action. You can get them now uh at RT Public Store. Uh but let's go through uh what we with some plugs. Well, my book is always a great Christmas gift. There it is. You can get that stocking stuffer right into a stocking.

I'll personalize it, which I have to remind myself to go sign those books tomorrow. Uh I'll do that. And it feel it does feel like even just in recent episodes, you've told so many new stories and not even in there. We need a book sequel. Uh and of course, Dark Web every Monday uh in uh on YouTube. You can watch it for free if you're catching up. Uh Rob and I, our studio burnt down, we're in the woods. Now we're in a hotel uh surrounded by strangers. Uh and uh we have weird guests popping in. Jerry Oonnell came by. John Gabri coming by.

And then this Monday, Yaster Lers is is in bed with us. Uh but who else? All right, let's see. We'll see by the the image who's going to pro promote next. Uh nice.

Okay, so that date already passed, but you can actually purchase a ticket at the deepdiveacademy.com and rewatch this show that already happened tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.

So, similar to how people can watch this show tomorrow will be in the chat. So, we will be watching along with our audience tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard. And if you can't make that, you can watch it whenever you want.

But it'll be really fun in the chat. You guys are in the chat. You get it. Yes. Hi J. But we'll go to you.

Man on the Inside season 2. The fantastic Mike Sher show. I'm in season two. Yes, I'm in season two. The show is absolutely hilarious and absolutely heartbreaking uh in in turns and it's wonderful. Percy Jackson and the Olympians season two. People are people today.

They have an amazing billboard. Did you see the wave? So, they built a a billboard that is like splashing waves onto great. It looks gorgeous. Um, all out Simon Rich's play that I'll be doing on Broadway uh at the Netherlander Theater in the new year. Get your tickets. Uh, I'm sure you can figure out.

You're hanging out next to Ben Schwarz and Craig Robinson there. Heidi Gardner, Sarah Silverman are in my cast. Craig Robinson. It's going to be a blast. Um, and I'll just throw out Taskmaster season 19 just cuz I'm still up there. Why not? And the art of small talk, guys, this is the time for holiday parties and learning how to small talk is so vital. We have an entire chapter dedicated just to that.

Just to the holidays, just to the holidays, how not to get stopped, you know, always have a destination.

I love this book. And the audio book is fantastic. Pop that audio book on during the holiday. I want to uh shout out our amazing team, our producing team, Molly and Scott, the videos that they cut, the cameos that they reached out to. Uh, we want to thank everybody at VESPS, but more importantly, we want to thank our in-house staff right here, uh, Wes and Zoe, uh, helping us through our first ever in-person virtual streaming event. Uh, and thank you for all submitting your questions, being in the chat, for buying a ticket, watching this. Uh, thank you so much. We appreciate you so, so much. This is the best. Uh, and

merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry a

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair"?

In order: 0:00 Palo Alto, K Jewelers, BTK, Gilmore Girls; 20:00 Palo Alto; 50:00 K Jewelers, Palo Alto.

What is mentioned in this How Did This Get Made? episode?

4 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Palo Alto, BTK, Gilmore Girls. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Merry Kissmas w/ Jessica St. Clair"?

The episode runs 1 h 23 min; the transcript is about 16,477 words in 465 timestamped sections.

More from How Did This Get Made?

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.