Why Chasing Happiness is Making You Miserable

What is discussed, and when

1. 3:00 – 6:00: BetterHelp, Martin Seligman

Notable quotes from "Why Chasing Happiness is Making You Miserable"

• Means reaching out for support. And that's where today's sponsor BetterHelp, comes in. If you're looking for therapy that fits into your busy life, BetterHelp has got you covered.

  about BetterHelp · at 3:15

• As psychologist Martin Seligman said other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up. Day three, mindfulness and presence. Spend 5 minutes meditating or.

  about Martin Seligman · at 5:15

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Martin Seligman — Person · 1 mention · first at 5:15

Sponsors

• BetterHelp — Sponsor · 2 mentions · first at 3:18

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Happiness. So many people are chasing it and so few of those people manage to crack the code of what it truly means to be happy. It can feel like happiness is just out of reach. Like no matter what you achieve or acquire in life, it's never enough. If you've ever felt this way, know that you're not alone. In fact, according to IPSOS, a global research company, just under a third of people worldwide would not describe themselves as happy. For many, happiness is elusive. But there are a few things we can do to help it along. In today's video, we're going to explore why chasing happiness might actually be the very thing keeping you from it. This is what we call the happiness trap.

0:42 Afterwards, we'll share a 7-day plan aiming to help you reset and kickstart yourself onto the road to happiness. So what does it really mean to be happy? A big question. Happiness is a word we hear all of the time. Social media is flooded with posts about finding it. Self-help books promise to unlock its secrets. And yet, so many of us feel further from it than ever. Why? Well because we've been sold a lie about what happiness really is. Let's break it down. According to Martin Celigman, one of the founding fathers of positive psychology, happiness isn't just about fleeting pleasure or euphoria, true happiness, or well-being is a combination of positive emotion engaging in activities and interests relationships, and finding meaning and accomplishment in life's trials and tribulations. It's a balanced and sustainable state, not a constant high.

1:37 So happiness is not the rush we feel when we get likes on social media or the fleeting joy when we purchase something new. It's also definitely not the idea that you should feel amazing all of the time. When we confuse happiness with a state of constant pleasure, we fall into the happiness trap. The happiness trap is the belief that happiness is a destination. that if we just achieve this one thing, a promotion, a relationship, an amount of money, then we'll finally be happy. But what happens when you get there? You enjoy it for a moment, and then you're right back where you started, chasing the next goal. This phenomenon of constantly needing to achieve the next goal has a name, the hydonic treadmill. It's the idea that no matter what happens in your life, you quickly return to a baseline level of happiness. Face a setback, you adapt.

2:31 Win the lottery, you celebrate, but you adapt. Get splashed by a car in the rain on the way to work. It is what it is. I mean, you're going to have wet clothes for the rest of the day, but guess what? You'll adapt. The treadmill of life keeps moving and you keep running. But the catch is you're really not going anywhere. This concept can be both disheartening and freeing. It can also explain why people who seem to have it all, like money, fame, and success, they can often still feel unfulfilled. There are a number of myths about being happy that fuels the happiness trap. But before we dive in, let's talk about an important part of this journey.

3:09 Understanding that you don't have to figure it out all on your own. Sometimes taking that first step towards happiness means reaching out for support. And that's where today's sponsor BetterHelp, comes in. If you're looking for therapy that fits into your busy life, BetterHelp has got you covered. They're the world's largest online therapy platform and they'll let you connect with a licensed therapist whenever and wherever works best for you. Whether you prefer messaging or live video sessions, you have the flexibility to choose. And if your current therapist isn't quite the right fit, don't worry about it. Switching is easy and completely free of charge.

3:42 BetterHelp offers the same level of professionalism you'd expect from in-person therapy, but with more convenience, more choices, and more affordability. Plus, for a limited time you can get 10% off your first month when you visit betterhelp.com/improvement pill. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video. Instead of pursuing happiness, we need to cultivate contentment. Contentment is about appreciating what you have finding joy in the present moment, and building systems that support long-term well-being. Let's break this down into three key ideas. One, focus on the journey, not the outcome. Two prioritize your well-being over pleasure. Three, embrace the full range of human emotions, good or bad, sad or mad. But how do we put this stuff into practice? Well, let's go through a 7-day plan packed with ways to finally break free of the happiness trap and live a more content life. The 7-day

4:37 breakthrough plan. This plan will help you start building a more fulfilling life. Each day, you'll focus on simple actionable tasks, and by the time you finished, you'll have a great framework to begin living a more content life. Day one, gratitude and reflection. Start your day by writing down three things that you're grateful for. Gratitude rewires your brain to focus more on the positive. In the evening, reflect on one moment that brought you joy out of the day, no matter how small. Day two connect with others. Call or meet up with someone you care about, or why not rekindle an old friendship? Research shows that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness.

5:15 As psychologist Martin Seligman said other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up. Day three, mindfulness and presence. Spend 5 minutes meditating or practicing mindfulness. Focus on your breath or the sensations in your body. This is proven to help you stay present and reduce anxiety and tension. Day four, acts of kindness. Do something kind for someone else. Could be as simple as complimenting a co-orker or buying a cup of coffee for a stranger. Studies show that acts of kindness boost your happiness just as much as the person you were kind to. Day five physical activity. Exercise for at least 20 minutes. Whether it's walk, yoga, or workout, physical activity releases endorphins and improves your mood. Day six, find meaning. Spend time finding something that gives your life meaning.

6:06 This could be a hobby or an activity that makes you feel great. Examples of this could be a personal project volunteering, or learning a new skill. But remember, happiness comes from the act of doing something and the purpose you feel doing it, not just pleasure. Day seven, digital detox. Take a break from social media and screens for a full day. Use the time you gain from this to connect with nature, read a book, or just simply relax. This will probably feel harder than you realize, but it's a really good way to help you reset and focus on what truly matters. This 7-day plan can seem like a lot to fit into anyone's busy life. So, if it's too much, try focusing on each day's theme for a few days at a time. By the end of the reset, you'll feel calmer, more connected, and be able to see the positive more than you did before.

6:55 Breaking free from the happiness trap isn't about giving up on happiness. It's about redefining it. By focusing on contentment, building systems of well-being, and embracing life's ups and downs, you can create a life that's not only happier, but also richer and more meaningful. Remember, happiness isn't a destination. It's a journey. And every step you take, no matter how small brings you closer to the life you want to live. If you like today's video, make sure to hit that like button below. Drop a comment with one way you're going to focus on your happiness from today. And as ever, stay tuned for the next one.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Why Chasing Happiness is Making You Miserable"?

In order: 3:00 BetterHelp, Martin Seligman.

What is mentioned in this Improvement Pill episode?

2 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Martin Seligman. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Why Chasing Happiness is Making You Miserable"?

The episode runs 8 min; the transcript is about 1,332 words in 10 timestamped sections.

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