You Might Be Saying No To Your Calling — Without Realizing It | Jamie Kern Lima

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Makeup, IT Cosmetics, L'Oréal, Highlight reel
2. 10:00 – 20:00: IT Cosmetics, L'Oréal, Makeup, Highlight reel
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Adoption, Denny's, Dream Think Do, Infertility
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Authenticity, Rosacea, Apple iPhone, Concealer
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Purpose, IT Cosmetics, Authenticity, Denny's
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Purpose, Denny's, Makeup, Rosacea
7. 1:00:00 – 1:10:00: Makeup, Purpose, Real beauty movement, Rosacea
8. 1:10:00 – 1:20:00: L'Oréal, Makeup, New York City, New York, Self-doubt
9. 1:20:00 – 1:30:00: Denny's, Self-doubt, L'Oréal, Self-Worth

Notable quotes from "You Might Be Saying No To Your Calling — Without Realizing It | Jamie Kern Lima"

• You've done such amazing things with IT Cosmetics and I know you know we've talked a little bit about it this year we're working on you know inspiring people to go after a million dreams.

  about IT Cosmetics · at 0:00

• None of that. And I realize so often we just see the outcomes of things when they're, when or the highlight reel. And that's why I'm excited to do your show and also just to…

  about Highlight reel · at 0:49

• Going through a season of setback. what I thought was a big setback. I got a skin condition called rosacea, which my skin is bright, it gets bright red with bumps everywhere.

  about Rosacea · at 1:59

• The channel? I went through this whole season started trying to find any makeup product out there. I never had even an interest in going in creating a beauty company. but I…

  about Makeup · at 2:51

• And I think that why we eventually were acquired by L'Oreal for so much money is because we ended up doing something so different.

  about L'Oréal · at 6:47

• Yeah, it's been a wild journey. Like in the days where I was a waitress at Denny's, I don't know if I could have ever imagined some of the stuff that I've gone through in the past couple years happening.

  about Denny's · at 24:03

• Believe in, but then to actually live them. And I talk a lot in the book about how while authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, inauthenticity guarantees…

  about Authenticity · at 30:35

• For being here as my friend and for being here as the professor on the topic of purpose and learning how to believe in yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big warm Mel Robbins podcast welcome to Jamie Kern Lima.

  about Purpose · at 47:22

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Tim Johnson — Person · 1 mention · first at 19:43
  Wanted to get to some of these questions. One of the things one question came from Tim Johnson over on Instagram and he said, All right, what has he had to unlearn during this process? I know you've learned so much. What's what's one thing.
• Mama Carrie — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:29:01
  Yeah, it is so true what you're saying, Carrie. It's like what? we get one no or five nos or 20 nos and then we think oh, if God's closing all these doors, they m they must not be for me or, why do.
• Mitch Matthews — Person · 1 mention
• Paulo Lima — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable — Book · 1 mention
• Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You — Book · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Denny's — Company · 10 mentions · first at 24:06
• IT Cosmetics — Company · 9 mentions · first at 0:00
• L'Oréal — Company · 9 mentions · first at 6:51
• Instagram — Company · 2 mentions · first at 0:44
  Yeah, it wasn't ne it wasn't the dream at all. And I get messages every single day, usually on Instagram, saying, Did you get lucky? Did you have connections? Did you have It's…
• Wall Street Journal — Company · 1 mention · first at 16:53
  L'Oreal's public, they disclosed the purchase price. So all of a sudden in this one day, it's all over the Wall Street Journal homepage everywhere. Like it cosmetics, L'Oreal…
• Dream Think Do — Company · 1 mention · first at 28:55
  And I think that's also such a beautiful picture that what I love and it's been such an honor to be you know with Dream Think Do we've been able to talk with so many people…
• Ulta Beauty — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:13:26
  Thought was just going to believe in me instantly so I sent it to Sephora and Ulta Beauty and all the department stores and all of the online retailers, QVC, which is, live…
• FedEx — Company · 1 mention
• QVC — Company · 1 mention
• SBA — Company · 1 mention
• UPS — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Dyson vacuum — Product · 2 mentions · first at 38:15
  Crying on actual television. I remember they cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband…
• Concealer — Product · 1 mention · first at 33:44
  One shot, one yes, big yes to get one chance live on QVC to sell our concealer. And we were only selling two to three orders a day on our website, barely in business. And I…
• SBA loan — Product · 1 mention · first at 34:18
  Which means we'd be out of business. so it was a big risk and we got we applied for SBA loan just to because we had no money. We had literally no money left. We were down to well under $1,000.
• Apple iPhone — Product · 1 mention · first at 38:17
  They cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband comes rushing through the double doors of…
• Vitamix — Product · 1 mention · first at 38:17
  They cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband comes rushing through the double doors of…
• Spanx — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• Makeup — Concept · 17 mentions · first at 2:56
• Purpose — Concept · 12 mentions · first at 47:27
• Self-doubt — Concept · 10 mentions · first at 2:39
  Well, and then it's like when we go through these times that I started this kind of season of self-doubt where I would like my inner critic got so loud and I would be live…
• Rosacea — Concept · 8 mentions · first at 2:03
• Authenticity — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 30:39
• Highlight reel — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 0:54
• Self-Worth — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 1:27:21
  Don't let them take root and start to think that we're a failure which can then take root in our self-worth. And so yeah, I packed it with lots and lots of tools on hopefully…
• Rejection is God's protection — Concept · 1 mention · first at 17:30
  Words, and I don't even know who said them, but they're famous words that say rejection is God's protection.
• Infertility — Concept · 1 mention · first at 20:41
  Yourself? And one of the big lessons I learned in this book through a personal journey of infertility and of adoption and surrogacy and all kinds of stuff was that life isn't…
• Adoption — Concept · 1 mention · first at 20:45
  Learned in this book through a personal journey of infertility and of adoption and surrogacy and all kinds of stuff was that life isn't meant to do alone. And my whole life I've always kind of thought oh, I've got this.
• Surrogacy — Concept · 1 mention · first at 20:45
  Learned in this book through a personal journey of infertility and of adoption and surrogacy and all kinds of stuff was that life isn't meant to do alone. And my whole life I've always kind of thought oh, I've got this.
• Real beauty movement — Concept · 1 mention · first at 1:05:27
  In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person and she was it. So when you look around the internet and social media and you see people doing naked.
• Cosmetics industry — Concept · 1 mention
• Impostor Syndrome — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Seattle — Place · 2 mentions · first at 59:12
  Let's go back to that moment because I think you were 28 years old, right? when you're sitting on television in Seattle.
• Manhattan — Place · 1 mention · first at 26:12
  It was like this corner office overlooking the skyline of Manhattan. It looks like something I grew up seeing only in movies, right? with the most beautiful art everywhere and this like the my corner office is bigger than.
• Nebraska — Place · 1 mention · first at 36:39
  Woman was watching on the other end. And I don't know why, but I kept imagining a single mom in Nebraska folding laundry who was like too busy to remember that she mattered and that she's beautiful.
• New York City, New York — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:12:39
  Different kind of positioning where the girl who answered said, Oh, here's who we use. They're in New York City, blah. So, that was my first manufacturer. Reached out to them…
• Paris — Place · 1 mention

Sponsors

• Sponsorship/Promotion: Believe IT (Book) — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsorship/Promotion: IT Cosmetics — Sponsor · 1 mention
• Sponsorship/Promotion: Worthy (Book) — Sponsor · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 you've done such amazing things with IT Cosmetics and I know you know we've talked a little bit about it this year we're working on you know inspiring people to go after a million dreams together to help each other all of that and I think it's so easy to look at somebody like yourself and say okay you took you took something from scratch literally you and your husband Paulo started in your living room and you eventually sold it for over a billion dollars it would be easy for people to say oh my gosh she probably wanted a cosmetics company when she was two maybe she started when she was five, right?

0:30 But that was not necessarily the dream to start to start with. Tell us a little bit of how this blossomed.

0:38 Yeah, it wasn't ne it wasn't the dream at all. And uh and I get messages every single day, usually on Instagram, saying, "Did you get lucky? Did you have connections? Did you have It's like no, none of that." And I I realize so often we just see the outcomes of things when they're, you know, when or the highlight reel. And that's why I'm excited to do your show and also just to write this book because I think like sharing the real journey helps everyone else when they're launching their own dream or maybe they're scared to go after their own dream um helps them feel less alone.

1:10 So yeah, you know, one thing you've talked about in one of your shows about this idea of sometimes our setbacks become our setups. Yes.

1:17 Um that's really what happened to me uh when I launched this dream in my living room. And just to share a little bit about that um just for you know anyone in your community listening right now especially like they're feeling in their they're in the season of setback or in the midst of a setback right

1:34 um that's really how this whole thing started. So, I I thought I was working in in my dream job and, you know, since I was a little girl, I I always would, you know, sit in my living room and watch Oprah and I always thought like, oh, one day I'm going to share other people's stories with the world. Like, I always want to do that. And I was working in television news as a as a news anchor. And uh thought I was in my dream job. And I started getting um going through a season of setback. Uh what I thought was a big setback. I got a skin condition called rosacea, which uh my skin is bright, you know, it gets bright red with bumps everywhere.

2:09 Sometimes it feels like sandpaper. And so I went to the dermatologist and I learned there's no cure for it. And I'd be anchoring the news. I I tried all this stuff to to try and and calm it down. Uh but I'd be anchoring the news and and often live while I'd be on the air in my earpiece. I would hear from my producer, "There's something on your face. There's something on your face. You need to wipe it off. You need to wipe it." And I knew I'm sure it totally helped you to focus and and calm down, right? Yeah. Absolutely.

2:36 Well, and then it's like when we go through these times that I I started this kind of season of self-doubt where I would like my inner critic got so loud and I would be live anchoring the news thinking things like, am I going to get fired? Am I losing are viewers changing the channel? I went through this whole season uh started trying to find any makeup product out there. I never had even an interest in going in creating a beauty company. Uh but I started, you know, trying every product out there and none of them would work. And uh and I had this kind of moment where um I had this kind of this this gut feeling like I think I think when dreams start to brew in us or when there's like a seed planted in us where we have this dream it kind of started that way where I was like like it was like a little inkling like wait a minute if I if I could figure out how to launch how to create a product that works for me I bet it'd

3:31 help a lot of other people. Yeah. And then I would kind of like silence that dream and I would my head would take over. Oh, Jamie, you have no connections. You have barely any money. You don't know anything about the beauty industry and you're you're in your dream job right now. Yeah. Right. And so it was I went through that battle. And I think everyone listening to us right now probably like really if they get still, they probably know right now if there's a dream on their heart or or or something they know or they're supposed to create or go after or offer the world or start painting again or start dancing, right? They kind of know. Um but sometimes our head talks ourselves out of our own dreams.

4:11 Yeah. We call that that essence of a dream, right? like that because I think sometimes even the word dream it feels too heavy too big like people are like ah I can't go after that dream or I don't know all that that's there or all that it will take and it's like all right well just lean into that essence of the dream and I love how you gave yourself that permission to first kind of look solutions for yourself but then to be able to say what if what if and I love too how it seems like very quickly after that you also started to say what if we did it differently because that was really something you started to do very early on to be able to say, "Hey, a lot of the marketing, a lot of the ads around cosmetics don't seem to be all that real or for real women." And I love how that really started to become a mission for you as well. How quickly after getting the essence of the dream and starting to

5:05 walk it out was that that why uh of of being able to say, "All right, this this is I'm doing this for someone else, too." How how soon did that happen for you?

5:16 Yeah. I I realized in the midst of like, "Why can't I find anything that works for me?" When I started trying to, you know, try all these products, I realized, oh wow, my whole life I've never seen anyone in the ads that looks like me that has skin problems, right? you you just see photoshopped ads and I kind of realized that there was never a product that works for me, but also never a product that even showed people with skin like me. And and it it um I want to say something that you said in in the very open of our conversation that I think is really powerful, especially for anyone listening. You said, you know, maybe you've never sat at the cool kids club or the cool kids table at school. And I just want to say for anyone who feels like they don't fit in or they maybe don't belong or they're not like everyone else. I really believe Mitch that that can be your superpower because I think like I came into this

6:10 beauty industry and I didn't fit in and I was not I mean I didn't realize launching this company how it would be three years of being told no from all the retailers and that the because everyone sees oh wow because you know today at this moment that you and I are talking right now it cosmetics is the largest luxury makeup company in the country which is insane because for three years. Every beauty retailer said, "No, you're not the right fit. Women won't buy makeup from models that look like that." Uh uh on and on and on.

6:44 Change your packaging. Ch. Right. They And and I think that why we eventually were acquired by L'Oreal for so much money is because we ended up doing something so different. Yeah. that like and unique and odd that didn't fit in but that people connected with that it ended up being valuable to them. And I just think so many people listening right now, we're always told often in our lives to to fit in and to conform and and sometimes when we fit in, it can actually be a disadvantage in a way because we start thinking the same.

7:21 Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. And I just I don't know. I just sorry that just like came out because I just think I anyone feeling like they don't fit in I think I think if you stick to who you are authentically um I really feel like that is when you step in the the calling on your life like right and I think like it's so tempting for us to

7:43 to because we all want love we all want connection we all want those things and it's tempting to do it at the price of who we are.

7:51 Yeah. And when I look back at this journey um about turning a dream into, you know, into something that impacted now millions of of lives. I think that there were moments when people told me to change what we were doing, change that was never going to work, that if I wanted to get in their stores, I had to do it the way they wanted me to do it. And those are the moments that I think um could have stopped this whole thing from happening, right? Had I had I had I listened. You know what I mean? And I don't know. Just want to share that.

8:27 Well, I love that. I love that one. you would hone in on that because I I so agree with that, but also I think that you you you make that point so well in the book of being able to take those things that maybe you've seen as your limitations or your doubts or the things that have caused you fear that if we just look at those a little bit differently, they literally can be our superpower. And and I agree with you. I think I mean especially with the story and I confessed to you before we hit record that I've not worn your makeup.

8:55 Um, you know, I I'm not an expert on the cosmetic industry, all of those things. But what I love about your story and the more that I've dug into it, it it truly is obviously you've put together an incredible product, but but the way that you've gone about it and doing it differently, which I think in some ways you had to like bolster yourself. You had to push through those nos. those nos made you even more like I don't know if it's the right word to say solid but it to be able to say hey we are choosing this we are not doing this by accident we are not doing this because it's easy um we're doing it because we feel like that's the right way to do it and that's bolstered you to help you then navigate the storm and I do want to say that you know uh you know some people might hear this and go oh my gosh they went from their living room to selling it the company to L'Oreal for a billion dollars

9:48 it's like oh that's an overnight story. It's an, you know, all those things. You guys, we're talking about hundreds of hours a week, you know, working hard, paying yourself very little to nothing. Um, and really fighting for this dream, which I think is also beautiful. And you've also surrounded yourself with incredible people. Now, I've gotten some questions from listeners. We're going to go after those in just a second. But one of the things is I think what I loved about your story is that you know so many things about your story but you got the essence of the dream. You started to experiment. You saw the need. You saw the need to offer a product but also promote that product, present that product in a different way. Um but I was curious because so many people get the essence of the dream and immediately see the list of things they don't know or don't have. Right. Yeah.

10:40 What's one of the ways do you think like what was key for you to give yourself that permission to say I don't have all the answers. I don't have all the connections. I certainly don't have the big bank account. What gave you or how did you find that within yourself to be able to say but I'm going to take that next step?

10:57 Yeah. Well, I think sometimes and I talk about this and believe it a lot that I think sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream is as important as knowing when to go after one. And while I was in that spot of going, okay, um my my gut, my my essence, so to speak, is telling me to launch this company, but my head is saying you're not qualified, right?

11:20 Uh you don't have the right connections, all that. When I look back, um I And by the way, when you talk about, you know, the early years, it was three years of hundreds of nos and we got, you know, we couldn't afford our to pay ourselves the first three years of our com company. Um, if we ever had a date night, which was a miracle, we would go literally to the Costco, you know, the outdoor Costco concession sandwich.

11:44 Absolutely. Yeah. You can get a lot for a couple of bucks at the Costco. That's exactly right.

11:49 At least. And it tastes good, which is the good part. But that would be a date night. I mean, it was

11:54 it was really tough. And there were so many nights I cried myself to sleep because it was another big no from a retailer or I didn't know how we were going to keep the lights on. I didn't It was a lot of years. And in the book and believe it, I go into details about like some of the scrappy things we did like how, you know, we figured out how to do things when we couldn't afford to hire people. And and I go into that because I think it's so important because you don't see that stuff on social media. You just see everyone's highlight reel.

12:22 And I just think like it's important for people that might, you know, feel like it's just them struggling or not getting traction or hearing rejection after rejection. And when I look back at all of this and I I talk about so many things I did wrong in the book, but one of the things that I did do right, um

12:39 it wasn't that I somehow ha was smarter than someone else or anything like that. It was really that I I when I when I would get still and I would hear my own gut feeling, which for me is how I hear God talk to me is in my intuition, right? Um some people may call it the universe. Some people might call it just their own internal knowing, right? When I would hear that internal knowing,

13:04 I would make the decision to trust it. And for me, that was one of the biggest things because there were nights I literally literally would just cry myself to sleep and I'd wake up in the morning thinking like, "Oh, was that huge rejection from QVC really real or was that a dream?" And then I'd realize it was real.

13:23 Very real. And very, very real. And um I mean there were some really tough rejections. About two years into the business, we got a call from a potential investor that was a big private equity company. And I was so excited because they had a huge track record of making all of these uh products in grocery stores, big household names, and they loved our product and and they wanted a meeting. And we did a meeting and then we showed them our product pipeline. And you know, we were several meetings in and I thought, "Wow, if they invest in us, a I'm not going to go bankrupt and b um you know, maybe they can use their connections to get us in these big beauty retailers that keep telling me no." And

14:03 we got down to the final meeting. And I'll never forget this moment because my husband and I flew up for this meeting and we were standing about three feet from the head investor and he says to me, you know, "Congratulations. We really, really think your product is fantastic. Um but it's a no. we're going to pass on investing in IT Cosmetics. Uh, and we want to wish you all the best. And when I said, "Okay, um, can you tell me why?" Because I, you know, feedback is usually a gift. And, um, he was literally about 3 feet from me in person. And he says, "Do you want me to be really, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he said, um,

14:36 I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight.

14:42 And I remember, Mitch, in that moment, here's the thing. So, two things. one, I c like I went out in the car and cried later, but I I I instantly felt, you know, like a lifetime of self-doubt and body doubt. All those things kind of flood my body.

14:57 But I'll never forget this moment when he was saying that to me, of course, it hurt.

15:02 Yeah. But when he said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." I got this feeling, this feeling inside and I can remember it like it was yesterday that just said, "He's wrong."

15:13 Yeah. And I I actually never got mad or or it it was weird. I um when you talked about the why earlier because we all identify, you know, it's so important to attach a why to any dream.

15:26 Um and uh but I did the work early on of identifying like really why am I doing this company? And it wasn't just to create a great product or to solve my own problems or to help other women, which it was certainly all those things, but I wanted to shift culture in the beauty industry. I wanted to create a business where if I ever were going to make it, I wanted to use models that were all different ages and skin tones and skin and sizes and and skin challenges. Um, and I wanted to shift that definition of beauty for every little girl out there who was about to see these ads and start doubting herself the way I did growing up and and every grown uh woman who still does and person who still does. So, I knew how important my why was to me. Yeah.

16:08 So, when this guy says to me that, I real instead of getting mad, I think this is really important when we're going after our dreams to not take rejection personally. Yeah.

16:18 Because I realized him saying that to me, him passing on investing in in my business was really he was just as much impacted by a life of the beauty industry as I was. He was making an investment decision based on what he thinks you need to look like to sell product. And so, um, so, you know, I, uh, And one more thing about

16:40 I love it. No. Well, six years I didn't hear from him for about six years. And six years later when L'Oreal acquired our company, uh, because it was such a big deal in L'Oreal's public, they disclosed the purchase price. So all of a sudden in this one day, it's all over the Wall Street Journal homepage everywhere. Like it cosmetics, you know, L'Oreal buys It Cosmetics for $1.2 billion cash, this whole big thing. And I heard from him that day for the first time in six years. And he said, "Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I was wrong. This whole thing and I I learned it would have been the most successful investment in this firm's history. Um,

17:16 but the other thing, and this is this is just I want to share this in case anyone listening to you and me right now like is in this season of rejection, right? Is there's that there's these famous words, and I don't even know who said them, but they're famous words that say rejection is God's protection.

17:32 Yeah. And like when we're going through rejection, we don't like doesn't feel very good. Doesn't feel at the time. Like how is this protecting me? Especially when it's unfair. It's hurtful. It sucks.

17:43 But like just and I have so many examples of this and believe it but the book. But just this one story is like had he believed in me, Mitch, I was so desperate, I probably would have given him most the company for almost no money.

17:58 Yep. But because he didn't believe in me, six years later, my husband and I were still the largest shareholders when we sold to L'Oreal. And it just I don't know. I just think that there's so many stories like that where I just think it's important that we have our perspective of faith also

18:15 um when we're going through those tough seasons. Well, and I I so agree because it is that whole thing of uh and I think you and I share a very similar faith which is awesome and we've got people from all different faith backgrounds, but it is it is so powerful when we start to realize that those setbacks sometimes that adversity although it is brutal when you're in it. Like I can only imagine that felt like a real punch to the gut, but think about like like you said that adversity in some ways is something you needed to dig even deeper.

18:46 In some ways it it like proved your thesis even more of saying this absolutely needs to be fixed. And if somebody's going to do it differently, we got to do it right. And and I also it it did also protect you from then giving up a majority stake and all of those things. It's just incredible. But it's not easy, but it's amazing. And I agree with you. You have so many different examples. And that's I think I loved it in the book. so many different examples where that adversity, that setback time and time again really was a setup. And we could go I'm so glad our interview is going to get get to be four hours long because we've got so many things to cover. I wish it was. We're going to have you back for sure. Now, I've got some listener um lightning round questions because when I put out that uh you were going to be on the show, I had a number of people just you are so loved and so many people are so excited about

19:37 this book. Um but what I love is that I wanted to get to some of these questions. One of the things uh one question came from Tim Johnson um over on Instagram and he said, "All right, what has he had to unlearn during this process? I know you've learned so much. What's what's one thing you've had to unlearn during this process?" So, I've had to unlearn um that being independent and a lone wolf and I don't need to count on anyone else and I've got this.

20:10 Uh that that's a badge of honor. I've had to unlearn that. Um because I and I talk about some deeply personal stuff in the book. You know, it's not a it's not just a business book. It's it's not just a how do you go after your dreams book. It's also really a book about how do you overcome self-doubt?

20:30 Yeah. How do you go from not believing yourself to believing in yourself and not trusting yourself to trusting yourself? And one of the big lessons I learned in this book through a personal journey of uh infertility and of adoption and surrogacy and all kinds of stuff was that life isn't meant to do alone. And my whole life I've always kind of thought like, oh, I've got this. I I'm just going to count on me. I don't need to ask anyone else for help. I being independent, this badge of honor. And and for anyone who's a lone wolf out there, this might resonate with them, too. But I had a huge realization um that I talk about in the book that uh for me um it wasn't a badge of being a lone wolf wasn't a a badge of honor that you know it was it was actually a deepseated fear that I'm not worthy of other people showing up for me.

21:29 Wow. And I had this big epiphany over that. And I had to unlearn this idea that I got this all alone and that I don't need to ask for help or that I'm not worthy of asking for other people to show up for me the way I show up for them.

21:46 Yeah. I needed to unlearn that. And it's something I still work on every every single day. Even in this book launch for Believe It, it was a challenge for me to go, you know what? let me ask for some of my friends to show up for me and support me in different ways. Uh and and let me figure out how to make sure I feel worthy of asking them to it. You know, it's it's still something that I am unlearning and working on every single day. Um so I talk a lot about that journey in the book. But yeah,

22:18 and I so appreciate as as somewhat of a an introvert that is also probably lean's lone wolf. I so appreciated that uh in the story and and you you know again illustrated beautifully with a lot of transparency and some raw stories. But I also loved in the book how uh obviously some of those folks that have come alongside you that have been along with you and Paulo in this journey, how beautiful it was for them to share in the journey, but also how how wonderful it was for you to then be able to share the reward, the payoff, right? And and had you not been, you know, if if you'd stayed with that lone wolf approach, you know, it's it's interesting. We think I think as lone wolves it's easy to think well I'm not going to be a burden for somebody else but sometimes being a lone wolf is actually being more selfish right so you were able to be a huge blessing in so many of your team members lives um because you did open yourself

23:14 up that way and I it's great you're gonna guys you're going to have to read the book to know that whole story but it is so true I love it now here Shayla Atkins asked another question which I think is so great uh she's a big fan as well um you know what she's interested in is, you know, obviously you've worked very hard. It is now this incredible brand, like you said, number one luxury cosmetic brand in the country. All of those things. Um, but you're still you're a mom. Uh, you know, you're a human being. All of those things.

23:47 Shayla's like, how does she stay grounded? How does she still stay true to herself? You know, as these big things are happening for you, how do you stay grounded? How do you stay true to Jamie? Yeah, you know, I think that um yeah, it's been a wild journey. Like in the days where I was a waitress at Denny's, I don't know if I could have ever imagined some of the stuff that I've gone through in the past couple years happening.

24:13 Um I stay grounded in my faith and I believe a couple things. I believe all of us are on this earth not to achieve things or get significance or accomplish things. I think we're here to compete with only who the person God made made us capable of becoming

24:34 um is. And I stay grounded in my faith and I try to listen to that still small voice in inside and trust it. And what I mean by that is um a year and a half ago, almost two years ago now, I was I had this huge moment, Mitch. I don't think I've ever talked about this, maybe with a friend, but um

24:56 and I, you know, because I spent years building the company in our living room and I'll never forget our first office and it was we outgrew it so fast, but everyone's desks became like if you if you got hired as a new employee, we would take a huge FedEx box or UPS box, that was your desk because we were out of space.

25:13 Congratulations. Right. Exactly. Welcome to It Cosmetics. like we were it was just it was so scrappy for so long and we eventually moved into bigger offices and bigger offices and uh about a year and a half two years ago we had just moved into um a like 60,000 square foot office.

25:36 Wow. Wow. I was s I had this moment where I was sitting there and you know L'Oreal acquired us in 2016 and I stayed on as CEO and uh doubled the size of the company the first two years postacquisition. Just poured my heart into it because I believe in our mission. I believe in everything L'Oreal is doing and that a cosmetics team is doing and just poured my heart and soul and and there was this moment where I I was sitting in my brand new office

26:03 in looking around at what the world tells me success and significance are. It was like this this corner office overlooking the skyline of Manhattan. It looks like something I grew up seeing only in movies, right? with the most beautiful art everywhere and this like the my corner office is bigger than almost any place I've ever lived in. Right. And I'm sitting there really and I'm sitting there

26:29 and I'm I have a moment I just want to share this with anyone listening. I have this moment where I feel this is how I hear God. I feel like I'm supposed I I'm I'm I'm done like like like all of a sudden and it was all there and it it was a brand new office, right? And I knew if I stayed, I love the team. I love the team so much. Um, but the te everything's a welloiled machine now.

26:53 Yeah. And all of a sudden, I could stay and have the glamorous parts of everything, have the big office, have the all the stuff, the biggest brand in the country. And I just felt this calling like this this calling on my heart that says you're supposed to serve in a in a whole different way now. And you know, I had said no to writing a book for for years because I didn't want a ghostriter. I wanted to write every word myself if I was ever going to do it.

27:19 And I just had this feeling like you're supposed now that you've you've gotten to the spot and you have all the fancy stuff now. Um if you stay in that, it could come at the price of the calling on your life. And

27:33 wow. But I think a lot of people we get tempted when stuff is what the world tells us matters.

27:40 Yeah. And I made the decision. I sobbed my eyes out in that office and I I was just looking around at everything because I couldn't even believe how beautiful it was. It's the first time I ever stepped foot in this office and I went in on a weekend all alone and it was all done.

27:57 Um my my cosmetics assistant was there too with me and I was just sobbing there because I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. But I also knew in my heart

28:05 um that uh it was time to serve in a different way. And I I made the decision to

28:13 um to step away from this this dream I'd built in my living room because I have tried to live my whole life that way by and I think everyone listening right now like it comes in all different forms for us, right? It might be like stepping into a dream, stepping away from one, start again. And I used this example earlier, but starting to paint again, starting like writing the first page of your book, like I feel like the most important decisions in life come down to when we trust ourselves. So, um, so anyhow, yeah, that happened. And

28:47 I love that. Thank you for being generous to share that story because and and I think that's also such a beautiful picture that what I love and it's been such an honor to be you know with Dream Think Do we've been able to talk with so many people about their journeys and I so appreciate you being real with us yet again uh you know in the book and then here but I think that's a great picture too that like as we walk out dreams it it's so often that next thing which some might say is the next dream is revealed only as a part of the journey, right?

29:19 Like you're not you you wouldn't have gotten that had you not continued to walk out the journey. And so to be able to say, "Hey, isn't that part of the adventure too of being able to say, I wonder what future journeys will be. I wonder what will be revealed as we step further into this thing." And so I I'm getting goosebumps as you tell that story. So I'm so so honored that you'd be here. I'm so honored you'd share that particular story. And I think it's it's going to so resonate with Dream Think Doers.

29:47 I just love um the story about QVC, your first time going on QVC and because this is the ultimate story of of following your heart and following your gut and and doing and staying true to yourself. I feel like that's thrown around all the time. Stay true to yourself. Every time I ask someone, what's your best advice? Stay true to yourself. But this exemplifies this is textbook stay true to yourself. I would love for you to share that story.

30:17 Yeah. I think that we all kind of know or believe these things like, oh, I need to be true to myself, right? But then when it comes to real life and how we show up and how we decide what to do when everything's on the line, that's when it gets really tough to not just like know our values or know what we believe in, but then to actually live them. And I talk a lot in the book about how while authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, inauthenticity guarantees failure. And I I saw that now play out over a decade in the tens of thousands of entrepreneurs I've had the blessing of meeting and very few ever make it. I think it's how Oprah has made it. I nobody was ever like her or or is ever like her. and to to reveal all the parts that normally people would hide. That's how we create connection. That's our superpower. And you know, I um after three years of hearing no from everyone. I mean, I I

31:16 Angie in every ounce of my being, I kept feeling in my gut like, okay, I created this great product with It Cosmetics. I it works for me and I have hereditary rosacea. Nothing else would work. And I just kept feeling in my gut like I need to not just launch this product but also show on real women every age uh size, skin challenge, skin tone like like show real people using this and show how it works. And I kept having this vision. When I launched the company, it was even before YouTube was doing this. So no one was doing this. All we saw was these ads on television in commercials where it was usually uh somebody with the same skin tone. they always were like the same age and flawless skin and you never saw anybody with, you know, that look that looked like you and like me, you know what I mean? You just never did.

32:07 And so I had this vision, oh my gosh, if I can create a product that works and like try to shift culture however I possibly can in the beauty industry of what how they define beauty. Um, like that was my deep deep mission, right? For for every because because growing up when I'd see those ads, I always loved them. I always aspired to look like that, but deep down inside, right, they always made me feel not enough in this in this weird way. So, I was like, "Oh my gosh, if I can create a company whose mission is so much bigger than me, and I could try to shift culture in the beauty industry and how they define beauty uh and change those images for every little girl out there who's about to start doubting herself and every adult who who still does." And so, this big vision and then all of a sudden for three years, everyone's telling me it's not going to work. Everyone's saying no. And when a

32:55 retailer says no to you, what they're saying is I don't think that we can make money from you

33:00 is what they're saying. I we we we don't believe in what you're doing or that it will sell or that it will work. And so three years of that goes on, including, you know, years of hearing no from QVC. And uh it's a it's a crazy wild story I share in the book of how we eventually got a yes to get one shot on QVC. Now QVC is a live television channel broadcast to 100 million homes. And uh and when you go live, you have this big sales goal each minute that you're live. Uh and if you're not hitting your sales goal, they pull you off, right? And anyhow, after years of rejection, I got one shot, one yes, big yes to get one chance live on QVC to sell our concealer. And uh we were only selling two to three orders a day on our website, barely in business. And I learned, Angie, that I would need to um to hit their sales goal in the 10-minute window. I would need to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer. Um and I also

34:00 learned the deal was going to be consignment, meaning I had to figure out how to make all the product, pay for it, ship it in, and then get my one big shot on air for 10 minutes, and if it didn't sell, it would all come back to me, which means we'd be out of business. Um, so it was a big risk and uh we got we applied for SBA loan just to because we had no money. We had literally no money left. We were down to well under $1,000. So we got 22 banks said no and the 23rd bank uh said yes just to fund the inventory for that one order um for QVC for that one chance in 10 minutes. So basically everything was on the line. I um I flew out to QVC a week before the airing and I sat in their parking lot in this rental car all alone and I just like stared at the front of the building knowing the next time I walked in there uh my whole life was going to change or I would be bankrupt. And here's where

34:54 the struggle came is, you know, we hired thirdparty consultants who are amazing. They they help a lot of people succeed on selling in television or selling their products in stores and they all told me the same thing. And they said, "If you want a chance at succeeding, here's what you need to do. You need to go on the air in your 10 minutes, use this type of model." And all the models look like they're 12 and they were all the same skin tone with flawless skin. And I'm like, "Listen, like, what if I just take my makeup off and show my bright red rosacea and show the world how this product works? And what if I put real women of every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenge and and I would argue and I say because if I'm sitting at home watching, how do I know something's going to work for me if I don't see it on someone who looks like me? Like to me it was so common sense and they were

35:39 mortified and they they here's the thing they wanted me to win and they were giving me the best advice they knew how on on what they said is the only way people will buy a product from something from from uh they would say uh these unattainable images of aspiration that no one could possibly look like but that is what sells product and I'm like so it's tough. So, I sat in that rental car knowing that everything was on the line, knowing I had one shot. And um and it's, you know, my gut was telling me one thing, right? And experts were telling me another. And these are the moments that define our lives is when we learn to a hear ourselves, hear our gut, and then make the decision to trust it. And it's not always easy, right? And I I sat in that rental car uh every day for a week, and I just, you know, I prayed, I cried. Um, but I also imagined who that woman was watching on the other end. And

36:36 I don't know why, but I kept imagining a single mom in Nebraska folding laundry who was like too busy to remember that she mattered and that she's beautiful. And I just kept imagining like if she was going to turn on her television for a few seconds and I was going to be blessed with a few seconds of her time. like it came down to this moment where I realized I'd rather have her see me showing women who look like her, calling them beautiful and meaning it even if she buys nothing. I'd rather do that than than than sell a ton of product and stand for nothing. Um, and so I knew what I had to do, but it didn't mean it was easy. And I I remember walking into the QVC studios and um for that one shot that 10 minutes and I when we went live so so I remember standing there in the studio there's this giant countdown clock on the floor that started at the 10-minute mark. I was sweating so much and I'm not nervous for television but

37:29 it was that everything was on the line and I was shaking. I remember like hoping my Spanx caught all my sweat because I was like I can't be sweating through a dress on national television. I was freaking out. Um, but I remember the clock started and I remember the moment my barefaced before shot came up on national television and I walked over to all the models that I chose as real women, all ages, all shapes, all sizes, all skin tones, all skin challenges. And I remember there was about a minute left in the um this the presentation and the host says, "The tan shade's almost gone.

38:04 The deep shade's almost sold out." And I was like and then I remember at the 10-minute mark the huge sold out sign came up across the screen. I start crying on actual television. I remember they cut and then they went to like the next item which is like Dyson vacuum or Vitamix or Apple iPhone or something and my husband comes rushing through the double doors of the studio and I'm like real women has spoken and I'm like crying and he's like we're not going bankrupt and and this like

38:30 guy such a guy and but that one airing Andy turned into um five that year 101 the next year. Anyways, for for eight years straight, uh I did 250 live shows a year on QVC and we built the largest beauty brand in QVC's history. It is right now at this very moment.

38:48 But I only share that because it was three years of them saying no. And so like no one, whoever's listening and needs to hear this today, no one can tell you how big your dream can be. No one can tell you you're not enough. And and when people reject you and they literally look you in the eye and tell you they don't think you're going to make it or you're not the right fit or you're not this enough or that enough. Like those are the moments we don't we don't quit. We don't give up. You know, maybe we cry a little bit, but those are the moments where we listen to our gut and we stay authentic and we keep going.

39:21 And people who do that are the ones who are able to build something that lasts or that matters or that really, you know, makes a a contribution to the world. And I believe every one of us has that inside of us, right? And our life comes down to if we listen to our calling or if we listen to our opposition.

39:37 First thing I'll say about uh authenticity because so many of us are scared to be who we really are, right? Because we fear rejection or isolation or not being included or judgment or all those things. And first of all, the just one little tip, and you'll you'll know this so probably way more than I do, Jim, but one thing that's always helped me is like so many studies out there talk about how it's impossible to have a real true connection with another human being if you show up as your representative. If you don't show up as your full authentic self for better or worse, right? The good parts, the bad parts, the quirky parts, whatever. And whether the relationships you want to have are with your partner or your customers or your customers or your community on social media, you actually cannot have a fully authentic relationship if you're not showing up as your full authentic self for better or

40:40 worse. And so if right now you're listening and you're like, "Oh, well, I'm showing up kind of as the person I think I need to be, or I'm getting distracted by other people on social media because they're having great success, or their podcast is doing well, or their business, my competitor's businesses are having success by doing this, so I'm going to do that." You are robbing yourself of of that actual authentic connection with your own customers, your own community, or your own friends, or your own family. That literally is the only way from my experience to build anything that lasts, anything that matters. Like in my journey of now doing over a thousand live TV shows on QVC, right? I've met thousands of entrepreneurs in the green room and most of them only last one show, maybe two, and they're gone. And I would like over the years I would think what is that commonality between the people who end up building something?

41:35 And it's never how smart they are. It's never how skilled they are on television. It's never that. It's the ones that like are the same way in the green room

41:48 when no one's watching as they are on air. And they they're not none of them are the same. Some are crazy and wild and some are totally like whoa. And some are really kind. But the ones that have that congruency that show up on air and sell their product, whatever it is, whether it's a Dyson vacuum or a personal growth, whatever it is,

42:09 they're the same, right? Because guess what? That the people watching are able to connect because you can't fake authenticity. And I feel like learning that is freedom because it is so stressful when you feel like you need to show up on social media as something that you're not because you're trying to build a following and get more likes or you're you're you're showing up in the dating world be and you're and you're you're as your representative because whatever. It is so stressful. But like when you realize being authentic is the it's the most freeing thing because you you you now no longer care if something's working for a competitor in your industry or this or that because it doesn't matter unless it's truly authentic to who you are. And and um one quick thing is like I used to end up we built to over a thousand employees. So I went from not paying myself for three years to over a thousand employees.

43:04 They would get so sick of me saying this, but it I feel like it was one of the keys to to to our success was I would they would, you know, tell me something a competitor was doing or a new product launch or whatever. And I would say, "Listen, our biggest threat to our business is not what the competition's doing. It's the risk of us getting distracted by it and like getting tempted to dilute our own authentic secret sauce. That's it." And and it was kind of like staying true to that helped us actually build something that mattered. And listening to that even sometimes when the experts out there or in my case the retailers were telling me they didn't believe in it. Um and one more quick thing uh is just um in this process uh cuz you mentioned you know the people around you if they're doubting you right another big tool just to share with everyone listening that that help me is just uh everybody around

43:59 you in your circle whether it's friends a partner people you work with um uh whoever they're only capable of believing in your dream whether they realize it or not they're only capable of really believing in it usually if like their own lens they're seeing it through of life experience and limitations uh has already proven to them it will be successful, right? Like so many people even experts or visionaries like they would never admit this but like if you're doing something new or novel or maybe it's been done a million times but you're doing it your own way. It's really hard for anyone else to ever think it's going to be successful because they've never seen it be successful before because it's never been done the way you're going to do it.

44:43 So, keeping that in mind and um I Jim I would have this uh imaginary volume dial and everyone listening has this. Okay. Imagine you have your control over your own volume dial. I think one of the biggest keys to overcoming self-doubt uh on your own journey, whether it's to start painting again or to start writing that book or to just freaking go online and make an online dating profile and put yourself out there, right? I think like one of the biggest keys is learning how to control your own volume dial with who you let speak into your life about what. And what I learned, and again I share a million things I did wrong in this book, too. How do you believe in yourself? Especially in a moment like right now where the future's right in front of you, and it is swirling with endings and with beginnings. That's always how I feel in the summer, right?

45:40 Summer is supposed to be this awesome time where we relax. We dial it down. If you're lucky and you can get to the beach, that's fantastic. Or a pool. But when I'm at the beach, you know what? I'm thinking about my freaking future. and the endings and the beginnings. And today I want to throw how you believe in yourself in the middle of all these endings and beginnings. And how do you believe in yourself when you haven't even started taking the actions? How do you believe in yourself when you don't know how this thing is going to turn out that you really want to do? Well, my guest today, she's a super close friend of mine and she is somebody you want to hear from right now. Who am I talking about? I'm talking about none other than Jamie Card Lima. She's the founder of IT Cosmetics, which she started in her living room, and she sold it to L'Oreal for a billion dollars.

46:30 And here's the thing that I love about Jamie. Jamie is the queen of learning how to believe in yourself. Because when she started It Cosmetics, she was not some influencer with daddy's money. No, no, no, no, no, no. She didn't get a degree and how to start a company. She was a waitress at Denny's with terrible skin rosacea, like the bright pink kind of breakouts all over her cheeks. And it was that rosacea that and that hardworking work ethic from being a Denny's waitress that made her create her own foundation. And that was the beginning of this billiondoll company that she created in her living room, It Cosmetics. And I know you're going to love hearing from her, which is why I am so excited that you're here to talk to us about your journey. You are one of my favorite human beings of all time. I cannot thank you enough, Jamie, for being here as my friend and for being here as the professor on the topic

47:27 of purpose and learning how to believe in yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big warm Mel Robbins podcast welcome to Jamie Kern Lima.

47:39 Mel, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is going to be fun and real and raw and I can't wait and I hope it just adds so much value to everyone listening. So, I'm grateful to be here. Thank you. There's no question because you know how you have those friends in your life that you don't see very often,

47:56 but every time you do, it's like no time has disappeared and you just have this like kind of twinkle on your skin because you just love being with this person. I love you so much, Jamie. I'm actually mad at you that you live so far away from me. So, maybe we should just start right there.

48:12 I love you. Thank you. I feel the very same way. Okay. And one of the things I want to share, I know we're going to dive in deep on purpose. By the way, I love purpose professor. I'm like, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Because it's one of our biggest life questions. How do I find my purpose? Um, but I just want to say, Mel, something really important to me that I didn't want to leave here without saying. You could edit this out if you don't like it, but everybody listening needs to know this. You are one of the rare human beings that is the same off air, behind the scenes, in your everyday life as you are in all the public things. You know what I And you and I have both met so many celebrities and so many people with millions and millions of followers and it's very rare they're the same. And I just one of the things I love so much about you is you are even more funny, even more intelligent and brilliant and

48:59 kind and raw and real um in real life. So that congruency is like one in a billion and I love you and I'm just grateful to be here for you.

49:10 Wow. Okay. Hey, just that I think the episode's over now. No, we got to go back in time because, you know, I think one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to empower and inspire you listening to us right now to create a better life. whatever that means for you, to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself. And Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration

49:52 in cultivating belief. belief in your ideas, belief in your intuition, belief in God, belief that things will turn out. And so I want to go back in time because, you know, I've heard you on the stages that you speak around the world talk about how you started as a waitress in

50:15 Denny's and then from waitressing at Denny's pursued a dream that you had of being on television.

50:24 And as a fellow former waitress, I would love to start there. Yeah. Waitress at Denny's. Um, full uniform name tag to prove it.

50:35 Oh, I forgot they had uniforms. Full uniform. Uh, what was your favorite thing on the menu?

50:40 Oh gosh, I love the pancakes. You know what? Just like simple. Um, it's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life. And so often I remember being a waitress at Denny's. I remember feeling and and maybe um maybe someone uh listening to us can relate to this right now. You have this feeling inside of you like there's something more I'm supposed to do, but you don't know what it is yet. And you doubt it might be possible. And I remember being waitress at Denny's and just feeling like I have these big dreams, but not quite knowing like how do I believe I'm worthy of them yet. And um it was this big season in my life. Uh at the same time, Mel, the kitchen at the Denny's I worked at was a disaster. Like they would take an hour to get pancakes out. So I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. they often did leave um or they'd throw like a dime and a penny on the table and leave

51:32 as your tip as if it's your fault. Uhhuh. But it's so funny how, you know, years later when I ended up launching my own business, I'm like, "Oh, I've got to get the operations right or nothing else matters." You know, it's just those little things we learn along the way. Um but yeah, after after that, I I um I thought my whole life I would I would have a talk show. I watched Oprah in my living room growing up. So, I thought for sure I would share other people's stories with the world. So, I went into uh you know, did all the jobs, saved up all my money to to pay through uh pay for school and and um push grocery carts in the grocery parking lot, sliced meat in the deli, all those fun jobs, and then found myself in my what I thought was my dream job working in TV news. And I thought, "This is it, right?" And what I didn't realize was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life um of self-doubt. Uh I have a skin

52:24 condition called rosacea. And for me it started getting really red, really bumpy. Uh and I would be anchoring the news live thinking like, you know, okay, this is it. This is it. And I started hearing in my earpiece uh from my producer, there's something on your face. There's something on your face. You need to wipe it off. You need to And I was live on television, right? And I would glance down during the commercial break and I saw, oh, the makeup is breaking up on my face and these big red bumps are coming through. And it started this season that felt like setback. Um, but so often in life, the the seasons that feel like setbacks are actually setups for what we're called to do.

53:03 Okay, stop right there. Did you hear that? The seasons of your life that are setbacks are often setups for what you're called to do. I want to just make sure everybody heard that. And I want to take a a highlighter and also highlight something that you said about being a waitress at Denny's and it's this. You said our steps are ordered.

53:32 Mhm. So, can you explain what that means particularly to somebody who's listening?

53:38 Yeah. Who may feel like, I know I'm meant for something greater. Yes. Why the hell am I at this step and this does not feel like it is like on the path of where I'm supposed to go?

53:48 So, what do you mean by the fact that our steps are ordered? Yeah. I believe, you know, everything in life y

53:55 is happening for us even when it doesn't make sense. Can we just What do you mean happening for us? So to somebody that's like really in it, Jamie.

54:04 Yes. Yes. What does that mean? Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right? So often people feel empty because they feel like, "Oh, my purpose needs to be some job. It needs to be my job or it needs to be this this grand thing I haven't figured out yet." But for those of us that have accomplished a goal we always dreamed of, we get to it and we're like, "Oh, this isn't it." Right? It's never, in my opinion, purpose is never this this big goal necessarily. Purpose is so often when we're able to serve the person we once were or serve in a way for something we've gone through. And here's what I mean. Uh I think our purpose can be like, "Oh, wow. I went through a really freaking hard season in my life

54:53 and I now am actually realizing I'm born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family.

55:01 Mhm. That is an incredible purpose, right? Purpose can be like, "Oh, I've been having a hard season for a long time." And when I actually just take a minute and say hi to someone else who's lonely, maybe it's like in the in the coffee line at Starbucks, maybe it's the the the neighbor down the street, whatever it is, you feel in your gut a sense of fulfillment, like a sense of alignment when you're doing something in your purpose.

55:28 And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people uh hear my story and they hear the oh Denny's waitress builds billion-dollar company, they think my purpose was to be some big entrepreneur.

55:43 It wasn't. It wasn't. What was it? In the journey of how I did it. Yeah. I took this massive risk, right? Taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to. Um and and being brave enough to be seen and helping other women realize uh that they're worthy and enough. exactly as they are, seeing them as who they are. To me, that is my purpose. And in doing that, um, it just a byproduct of that with it cosmetics is we built a company with millions and millions and millions and millions of customers. Uh, and what's wild is 5% of our customers actually have skin issues like I do. 95% don't.

56:25 It's just that they felt seen and connected with something that spoke to their soul. Right? for me being willing to say, "Here I am exactly as I am, no makeup, and you know, all my skin issues." Um, I think people connected with that, that feeling of of, "Oh, I'm enough exactly as I am." You know what else I think is a really important part of your story?

56:51 It is waitressing. Yeah. It's pushing carts in a supermarket. Yeah. It's working in the back house of a restaurant. That's my story, too. Helping my best friend on her paper route, uh, busing tables. And I think when you work in retail or you work in a service job,

57:08 and you feel at times invisible, you start to realize how important it is to treat everybody with respect and kindness.

57:17 That there is no work that is beneath you. And when you can bring that level of service to the job that you have right now, even if you hate it, even if treat people treat you like garbage, even if the the the the back of the house is not getting those pancakes out on time and people are angry, if you can bring a sense of grace and service and just humility to those roles,

57:43 I think it changes how you show up when things start working out because you don't ever forget what it's like to be treated like

57:51 Yes. Because somebody was mad that their pancakes weren't out on time. Yes. Yes. And also, you and I have had this experience where we've truly gotten to see and be almost every type of person in every type of environment. And so now it's like whether it's me building a business or you building one of the top shows in the world, one of the top shows in the world. Um, I feel part of that was like, oh,

58:16 we understand who who's listening and watching you right now. I understand who real people are who built, you know, who who bought my products and and and so when you mentioned steps are ordered, it's like, you know, no matter where you are in your life right now, what you're going through, I believe every piece of it, whether it's, oh, someone just, you know, cut me off in a parking lot and screamed at me or, oh, whatever it might be you're going through, all of those things are happening for you. I believe so that you're amassing this toolbox of understanding uh and getting strong enough and equipped enough for the purpose you step into.

58:53 Amazing. So, professor of purpose Jamie Kern Lima right there. That's your takeaway number one. The steps are ordered. Believe in that.

59:01 And this moment is helping you. It's giving you something. So, that is one major tool that you used along the way. Let's go back to that moment because I think you were 28 years old, right? when you're sitting on television in Seattle.

59:14 Yeah. You are a local news anchor. You're living the dream. You're on your way. And you are now starting to have this nightmare happen.

59:22 Yes. Where your rosacea is breaking through on camera in front of everybody. The makeup that they put on you.

59:31 Yes. And you've got people in your ear telling you there's something wrong with your face.

59:36 Yes. and you're realizing, "Holy cow, the makeup that they've put on my face cannot cover the rosacea and the skin issues that I have." So, what do you do in that moment?

59:49 Well, the first thing I did was start freaking out, right? And I like literally I started entering this season of self-doubt where I would be live on the air uh anchoring the news, thinking thoughts in my head like, "Oh, am I going to get fired? Are viewers changing the channel right now? Like, am I costing the the company ratings?" Right. So, it was this

1:00:07 Did you feel those moments when you could feel like the makeup not kind of like disappearing? Like there were moments when I used to be a commentator for CNN. I was premenopausal where I could feel the hot flash coming.

1:00:20 Yeah. I didn't feel it until they set it in my ear and in my earpiece. And then what would start to happen was I would get so nervous and stressed out cuz I kept trying to cover it um during commercial breaks. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. So I what I remember is like anchoring the news live and and you're and sometimes you have to be happy till this happy story or or you're serious telling and I just remember my heart beating in my ears hoping people weren't turning the you know changing the channel and and it started this this thing where I you know would spend what you know it's funny I was I was um anchoring the news and people think when you're doing that you must have all this money but you really don't get paid much at all and I I took my little paycheck that I had and started spending it on um department store makeup professional artistry, makeup, drugstore. I couldn't find

1:01:05 anything that worked. And I had this idea one day like, "Oh, if I can't find anything that works for me, uh there's probably a whole lot of other people out there that feel like makeup doesn't work for them." And it was sort of this idea where I was like, if I could figure out how to make something that worked for me, um it'd help a whole lot of people. And that was my my knowing or this this this gut feeling, but then my head Mel was like, "Oh, but you got no money. You got no connections. you know, no one in the beauty industry, you're unqualified.

1:01:34 So, I sat in this place, right? And I just want to, we're talking about purpose. I had this gut feeling like I was supposed to go for this thing, but then my head was like, "Oh, but here's all the reasons why you're not qualified to do it, plus you're in your dream job, right?" And I sat between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big aha moment of why I needed to do it that pushed me over the edge. Okay. So, what is the aha moment?

1:02:02 Yes. So, so, so I realized one day I'm like, "This makes no sense. There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me?" Right? Then I had this moment where I realized I've never seen a model with bright red, bumpy skin saying, you know, selling makeup and like you always see these photoshopped airbrushed models. And I realized, Mel, like, wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials, and I love seeing the magazines and and I always aspired to look like them, but but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough.

1:02:35 And I had this moment. I was literally on the news set when this happened where I was like, "Wait a minute, what if it's not just about launching a makeup product?" Like, like, what if I could actually figure out how to do it? Which I had no idea how and I had no money, but was like, "What if I could actually launch a product that works for me?" And what if I actually put real people as models? Like every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge. What if I use them as models, call them beautiful, and mean it for every little kid out there who's about to start doubting themselves and and and every grown woman who still does. And that deep source of pain from from from how I was feeling not enough and what could I do about it? That in my opinion is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's it's what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through.

1:03:26 Yeah. And how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?

1:03:34 Okay. That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose Jamie Karn Lima. So again, I like to unpack these things to make sure this is a this is a I always say this is not just a listening podcast. It's a doing podcast. And I want to make sure nobody's left behind.

1:03:53 Yes. And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped. And so I want to try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this and you have this sense that you're made for more. So, one of the things that I heard is look in your life and see what problems or frustrations or things that you're struggling with that feel like a setback. And Jamie gave you the example of the rosacea on her skin and her inability to find something that actually could help her solve this issue of being able to cover it up so that she could do her dream job. And that setback is a setup for something new. and then get out of your own sort of selfish or self-loathing or the self- excuses and the self-pity and remind yourself that there are 8 billion people on this planet now. There are other people that are dealing with this.

1:04:49 Yeah. And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on

1:05:03 because it helps you and it's going to help other people. And I also want to point something out that Jamie will not tell you, but I sure as hell will. And that is that this was about 14 or 15 years ago. So we're talking 2007208 correct?

1:05:22 In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person and she was it. So when you look around the the internet and social media and you see people doing naked faces, that was not something people did in 2007. It was all airbrush. It was all perfection. That was the beauty standard. There were no plus-size or curvy models. That was not a thing back then. And so you've got a woman who is sitting in Seattle who has no experience and no money deciding that she is going to not only figure out how to create a makeup line for people who have issues with their skin, but that she's going to do something nobody has ever done, which is put real normal people like you and me into her campaigns when she finally gets this figured out. and she's going to show people what her skin actually looks like in order to sell it. I mean, that

1:06:29 was a revolutionary idea. She was the first. And I'm telling you this because you could be the first. You have something inside of you that is a problem, something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so Jamie, let's pick up the story because how do you go from this aha moment like, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

1:06:55 to doing something because I think some of us have aha moments, right? Yep. And then we doubt we don't do anything.

1:07:02 Yes. Cuz we doubt him. We doubt him. We think like, "Oh, someone's already done it." Yes. Or, "Oh, whatever." First of all, if you're out there right now and you think, "Oh, you have an idea or or a way you want to show up in the world or or or someone else you you know, you want to help, but you think, oh, someone's already done it." Literally, there's only one of you in the entire universe, which by definition means no one has ever done it the way you're going to do it. So, when I launched this,

1:07:25 say that again, Jamie, for the people that are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, calm down." Uh, I wait, Jamie just said something. I was doing my dishes. Say that again. Talk about the fact that this matters.

1:07:37 This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is we think, "Oh, someone's already done it. someone's already done it before, you know, who must be smarter than me or more talented or more whatever it is than me. And and what I have learned and then proven and I want to tell you too about Oh, I'm going to get so excited. No, because no, when you do this thing like don't be shocked then when there's millions and millions of rejections and people don't get it, right? Um uh uh because it's never been done before, right? Oh, yes.

1:08:06 Cuz there's only one of you. There's only one of you doing it the way you're going to do it. But but just to recap that there is literally only one of you in the entire universe, right? And so if you are going to show up to this world authentic, that means whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually by definition it's never been done before,

1:08:26 right? And so when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away. Or, you know, in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals all said no. that this idea of of of how I wanted to um connect with women, they thought it wouldn't work and they thought I wouldn't therefore make them any money. Um so, but can I ask you a question real quick?

1:08:48 How did you go from the aha Yes. to starting? So, what did that look like? Like cuz I think like if you're in this space where

1:08:57 you know, let's just use an example. You've never actually you don't know the f you you you have this thing about catering that you just can't get it out of your head. You want to do these events. You want You've never actually done this cuz you had never

1:09:13 Yes. done anything with makeup. You had no idea what you were doing. Y you have an idea

1:09:19 and you have an aha moment. Mhm. What was the first thing that you did to start to make this real? So leaning on that why I had to do it and why it felt like it was going to be part of my purpose was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk, quit my job.

1:09:36 Wait, you quit your job because you had an aha moment? Yeah, it was deep. I was like if I had

1:09:41 What did it feel like? It felt like um it felt like if I didn't do it, I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing knowing I was created for more. Um it felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret. And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure and maybe the pain of embarrassment and then maybe the pain of, "Oh, wow. That wasn't that doesn't feel like it went how I thought it was." You know, I knew it was this big risk. I knew I was leaving what I thought was my dream job.

1:10:16 Why did you have to quit your job? Just curious. It was literally from day one, I was all in. Like, it was I dove all in. I knew if I was going to do this, I needed to just go all in on it. Um, and you know, I I started I do not recommend this, but I started working like 100 hour weeks from the beginning. I was so freaking passionate about it. Like I couldn't stop thinking about what if I can actually figure this out? What if I can literally because it was it became a big

1:10:45 So did you have any savings? Like do you have a little bit of savings? Because you didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this

1:10:51 first three years. So basically my husband and I wrote this business plan, right? Um quit our jobs, dove all in in our living room. We poured all of our savings into it. I thought Mel, and this is this is for someone watching us right now. I know this. I thought if I can figure the product out, it's going to be huge,

1:11:10 right? And then I realized like, oh, being an entrepreneur or or or launching a dream is not always that easy. We put every penny we had into it. And I once we actually created a product by and we were scrappy. If you want,

1:11:23 how did you create a product? Like are you in your kitchen buying stuff at the grocery store or how does this even work?

1:11:28 Okay, so no. So, so first um I love that you know technology is right there, right? So researching how are makeup formulations made, who makes them, what are the FDA regulatory compliance, all the unsexy stuff I know nothing about. Just diving into the research phase of how does this happen? And then what I learned is that uh manufacturers are are makeup company's closest held secrets, right? Like closest held secrets, they won't disclose who they work with, but a lot of these big manufacturers work with all the top brands that you see or a handful of them.

1:12:01 Gotcha. So I started So are you saying that all of the brands and top brands that you see are basically manufactured by a handful of companies?

1:12:10 Yes. Handful of companies and then some do it in-house as well. Um so what I did was scrappy. I walked into a Sephora. I wrote down the name of every single brand in there. Went home, you know, I had no money, right? Cold call every single brand and saying like, "Oh, um I'm looking for a really great manufacturer. Could you let me know who you manu?" And then they hang up on me. You know what I mean? one after another after another after another and I got this really small brand in a totally different kind of positioning where the girl who answered said, "Oh, here's who we use. They're in New York City, blah blah blah." So, that was my first manufacturer. Reached out to them, had a meeting in person, uh had no money, poured this idea out to them. They took a a risk making me samples. Uh and that's how it started was just really being scrappy. Um and and trying to figure it out. all of our money had went

1:12:59 into uh the product development formula and the advisory board of the product and I thought okay now we have a product that works for me right this was after hundreds of formula iterations I thought that was going to be it

1:13:12 so is this like year one or year two like how long did this take yeah it took a good first year to get that product and then what I started doing was sending it to everyone I thought was just going to believe in me instantly so I sent it to Sephora and and Ulta Beauty and all the department stores and all of the online retailers, QVC, which is, you know, live television shopping channel. And I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is going to be huge." Every single one of them said no after no after no after no. And to your point, it became three years of not being able to pay myself. Three years of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of nos of crying myself to sleep at night.

1:13:50 Were you and your husband like fighting like crazy like, "You should go back to work. You should Why do we do that?" Like, were you like doing that?

1:13:55 You want to know what it was? We still believed in it, but we weren't sure how we were going to make it. It was like friends and family that were like, "Uh, wait, you quit your job? Are you sure you should have quit your job?" Or, "Wait, you still haven't made any money?" Like, it's been three years, right? So, you hear all of this, the voices get so loud.

1:14:13 Um, the loudest though were my own self-doubt. You know, sometimes we take a chance and go for something because our gut is telling us to do it and then all of a sudden you face all this opposition and you start to question, is my gut wrong? Is my knowing wrong? And there were so many times where I would literally get this another brutal no from, you know, Sephora or QVC or whoever it was. And I would just literally cry myself to sleep. Um I would pray about it and be like, God, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, but nothing is going right. I want to talk about in the power of one more.

1:14:49 Okay. Okay. First of all, let me just say something. Okay. This is the clean version. My original version is marked up. There's like thousands of highlights, notes. Yes. All the things in there. And so this is the the printed last night. Yeah. With just I don't know how many markers in here. Um but on page 38, you say, "Few things are more expensive than opportunities you miss. Mhm.

1:15:14 You pay for them with regret, doubt, and lingering haunting, a lingering haunting feeling of what could have been.

1:15:23 So my question, has there been a moment in your journey um that you should have stepped into one more, but you failed to do so? And um what did you learn from that?

1:15:35 Tons. Yeah, there's a lot. Uh that's the good news is there's redemption, too, if you keep pursuing the one. I can tell you one where I uh should have fixed something I did. So I always tell you vulnerable stuff. My son and uh my son was a golfer and or is a golfer but was when he was young and um uh he had done something in a golf course that I thought he should have made a different decision. And I couldn't believe I did this but when he was done playing I let him know it

1:16:05 really aggressively like I cannot I remember what it was too. I cannot believe you hit a 3-wood there with the lake in front of the green. What the heck were you thinking? And I start railing into my son who's just trying to make me proud of him golfing. Yeah.

1:16:17 And I rail into him and um like every mistake you make as a parent, you just like that's the biggest mistakes of your life. Like I should have handled that differently.

1:16:25 And anyway, um this may seem super small, but it's massive to me. And so it was a Sunday and I had to go on a business trip that night and um I had the opportunity to walk in his room before I left and to fix it

1:16:41 and to say, "I'm sorry. That's not how your daddy should talk to you. I'm so proud of you. I love you. I know you were trying your best. I can't even talk about this right now cuz I'm so mortified by me."

1:16:51 And I was still mad at him over I think he was 11. How ridiculous. and I left on the business trip

1:16:59 and I was gone a week and he mentioned to his mom every morning that I said that to him and it just festered in him for a week and that was one more opportunity for me to go in and say I'm sorry I made a mistake and I wasn't man enough to do it and that's a huge regret in my life. It seems really small because I know that little incident even though I fixed it eventually stays in there. M

1:17:24 it stays in there. And that was a huge mistake of mine. So I regret that I did that. And there's a bunch of business ones or major deals I didn't do or something I didn't invest in. There's lots like that. But I don't really care about all that stuff. I care about my son. And so there's been a couple instances like that in my life where I'm like, you should have apologized. So the one more I regret most are the times where I didn't say I was wrong. Not decisions I didn't make or you know, business deals I didn't pursue. There's of course there's things like that, but it's where I was like, uh, I didn't have the humility in the moment to go, "Wait a minute. I could have actually fixed it in the car. I knew I was wrong right when I did it."

1:17:58 We've all done this as a parent, haven't we? As a parent, you're like, "I know what I'm saying." Or to a spouse, "I know right now this is wrong."

1:18:05 And out of pride or ego or whatever it is, we don't fix it in the moment. I should have right when the words left my mouth, I knew I should I saw his little face change.

1:18:13 I saw his face change and I should have went, "Oh my gosh, daddy is so wrong. Let me pull the car over. Come here. Sit on my lap. I love you. Daddy is totally wrong right now. You are trying so hard out there. I have no idea why I talked to you like that. I'm so sorry. Do you hear me? I love you. I love you. You're amazing. But I didn't do it. I didn't do it then. I didn't do it before I left. And it took me a week until I got back to fix it. Well, that sat in my son for a week.

1:18:41 That poison I gave him. Right. So, I'm telling you all kinds of stuff today that I don't normally say. But right when you asked me that, that stood out to me. Number one time as a dad, I was like, "That was terrible."

1:18:52 Yeah. So, that's one. Yeah. Well, it's relatable and really powerful. Right when you said it, I'm like, "Yep." Or your spouse or

1:19:00 right away. That one stood up. You sold the you sold um the company. Uh you sold the company how many years ago?

1:19:08 Uh three years ago. Three and a half. Does that mean that do you still work for the company?

1:19:14 Yeah. So, what happened? Um, so I agreed uh to stay on as the CEO of the company and there's nothing financially holding me to it, but uh but I gave them my word that I would stay for three years. And so um so it was pretty uh cool in the sense of you know I started this scrappy business couldn't afford to pay myself the first three years as I shared and how to do oh my gosh I share all the crazy stuff in the book about like all the jobs I tried to do myself and how when I couldn't afford to hire anyone I was trying to trying to just figure it all out and all the stuff we did to do that and uh so so it was wild to then you know be acquired by L'Oreal and uh and see inside of this massive company.

1:19:56 And it was a really cool experience. I felt underdressed every single day of my life. Um and and uh but it was this kind of like really wild moment where I was just like, "Wow, you know, when I was waitressing tables at Denny's, I didn't imagine I would be inside of L'Oreal headquarters in Paris." And I, you know, it was the coolest experience. So, so I gave them my word I would stay for three years. Um and I kept my CEO title at Cosmetics. So that meant that I was the first woman in their 100 plus year history to hold a CEO title of any brand. Uh which was really fun and I learned a ton and in three years.

1:20:32 How ironic is that you were the only CEO in cosmetics of a beauty brand. That's a woman.

1:20:39 That's a woman. Well, I I I believe you know that what is that saying? Uh won't be the last. There's going to be a lot more because because for sure

1:20:48 So there should be you know. Are you done there now? Yeah. So, so I double, so we doubled the size of the business in the first two years after they bought it and I ran it for three years and then I just had this knowing we talk about and and by the way, oh my gosh, okay. So, you know, I would when we started doing really really well is when I started hearing from book agents and producers and stuff about my story and I always had this feeling like I didn't want to do it unless I I knew it would be authentic and they're like, "We can have a ghostriter or whatever." And I always said no because I was so focused on running the business. So, I said no to meetings for five years. And about a year and a half ago, I just had this feeling like, okay, I'm supposed to give or serve at a at at a at a whole new level and and share everything I've gone through because what I've learned is like when we share that stuff, it's

1:21:38 the most fulfilling when you have like like even right now um I'm doing an insider kind of launch group for the book. And so a few people just like your mom are starting to read the book and I'm getting messages of women saying like, "Oh my gosh, this week I made the decision to trust myself and it worked." And I'm just like like sobbing at my computer. This is where I get my greatest joy and my greatest fulfillment. And so I decided that to to step away um because some you know sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream is is as important as knowing when to go after one, right? And I I just had this knowing that it's time to just hopefully, God willing, use everything I've gone through to help hopefully be of service to somebody else. And so I sat in my house all alone and uh sobbed my eyes out and binge ate Lucky Charms and wrote every word in the 80,000 words in the book. And

1:22:31 how are you always calm? You always So I feel like you're the most soothing like

1:22:37 you are. You're relaxing. so relaxing and yeah like such a gentle positive energy. It's so love. Is that always

1:22:47 I mean I think I'm the kind of person where I always show up loving. Um I'm probably always underestimated for that reason because like inside I'm like so uh on fire. Uh but like I don't just I don't waste a second of my life uh judging.

1:23:08 I want to go back to your own story. Do you remember how old you were or what situation you were in life when you first realized this could be a little girl, teenage years, whatever that you were struggling with self-confidence? I think there there's one moment I can remember and maybe a lot of people actually will have this moment in common because I think a lot of us have this experience when we as little kids we you know have opinions and know the answers and this and that. I I remember more than one moment where this happened but I think the first moment is the most powerful and and maybe a lot of people listening to us have had this moment. I can remember as a little kid like the first time in the classroom knowing the answer and for the first time ever deciding not to raise my hand like the first time self-doubt kind of like took over and I had thoughts like well what if I'm wrong what if I get made fun of

1:24:13 what if all of that right and I think for a lot of us we start self-doubt can get so loud and all of a sudden before you know it. We're adults and parents and grandparents and we're still in a spot where we can again be having all kinds of worldly success, but no, deep down inside we're still not raising our hand. And and what that can look like is, oh, my business is doing so phenomenally well, but I actually have these really like God-sized dreams about it or different types of ideas for it, but I'm I'm afraid to actually put them out there or take a chance just in case I fail. I think who I am with these ideas maybe isn't enough. Maybe I'm inadequate to actually lead my team to that next level. So we we're so many of us are still that person still not raising our hand even though we're able to check enough boxes around us to hide it. And so, you know, uh, for me, I can remember I can remember when self-doubt

1:25:22 started to kick in and then, uh, and then I remember a number of moments in my career. And I know you go deep on your show, deep on your podcast. Um but you know and maybe a lot of people listening can relate to this especially people in a leadership position um or who's leading a team is you know I found myself in many moments in my life knowing how to do enough to do that well but also knowing deep down inside uh I didn't feel like I was enough. I didn't I felt often like I'm I'm an imposttor. Do I have what it takes to do this? Uh and there were many moments where I did doubt myself out of my own destiny. So I think while a lot of people might know my story as you know Denny's waitress builds billion dollar business um or first woman to hold a CEO title in L'Oreal's history of any brand in their 100 plus year history. My real story is a girl who went from not believing in herself to learning how to believe in

1:26:24 herself. And you know, my first book, Believe It, is really my journey of learning how to how to believe in myself, but worthy is really the playbook on how do you believe in you. And it's packed with over 20 tools um that are real tactical that you can really apply to your life right now. Like I think of the rejection framework for for an example in the book. And you know, a lot of people will ask, well, how did you you know, endure years and years and years of rejection building your business? And you know a lot of people don't know we were teetering on bankruptcy for many years. A lot of people just kind of know the success story. Wow it's now one of the largest you know uh companies in that space but for many years it was rejection after rejection. And I think you know learning how how to deal with that is is such a powerful thing. And also how to almost embrace it in a in a in a fearless way.

1:27:15 how to reframe past rejection so we don't let them take root and start to think that we're a failure which can then take root in our self-worth. And so yeah, I packed it with lots and lots of tools on hopefully that everyone can apply to their lives right now. Um because you know, one of the things I say in the book is that you know when it comes to your business or your leadership or your life or your relationships or your goals and dreams that that that we don't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. stay stuck at the level of our self-worth and

1:27:44 and we don't rise to what we believe is possible. We fall to what we believe we're worthy of. And so, um, you know, when you build your self-worth, it's just one of the most and doing that through faith and doing that through a whole lot of other tools because at the end of the day, building strong self-worth is not about learning new things. It's actually about unlearning. It's about unlearning a lot of the lies that that lead to self-doubt and then igniting those truths that wake up worthiness. So yeah.

1:28:13 So you're no stranger to rejection and you've talked about it very openly even when you were moving from the Denny's waitress to starting your own cosmetic company. uh you got rejected so many times and it's not like you applied to QVC and got that famous 10 minutes where you sold out the product in an instant. You had a lot of rejections to that point and I'm still talking Jamie to leaders on a regular basis who get one they have write a manuscript send it to a publisher publisher is like nah going to pass and they're crushed they can't get past that one rejection. How did you learn to handle multiple multiple rejections in your life and yet not quit?

1:28:59 Yeah, it is so true what you're saying, Carrie. It's like what? you know, we get one no or five nos or 20 nos and then we think like, oh, you know, if God's closing all these doors, they m they must not be for me or, you know, why do I and and by the way, I went through a lot of this in the years of building at cosmetics. I would get no after no after no and some of them were so painful and I would sit there and I would pray and I'd be like every time I'd pray and get still I would feel that kind of still small voice that gut feeling that knowing that says like I'm supposed to be doing this and I would literally ask God why do I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this and yet every door is closing around me.

1:29:43 every person that is an expert or visionary or touted visionary is telling me that this isn't going to work. And yet every time I get still, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this. And

1:29:57 one thing I would say for anyone who has dealt with a lot of setbacks or seasons of rejection or hard times or you know I think that knowing that we all have uh we all get nos and we all have a knowing and I just remember I believe one of the critical things um that we can all do is when we pray when we get still and when we wait to hear that feeling that however however It works for everyone. It might be different. Um, for me, I just get a strong feeling, um, a knowing. And I made the decision to trust it through all the years when things weren't going well. Um, through all the years I was getting nos from everyone else. And I realized there are these situations where I had to go, okay, I'm getting nos from this potential investor. This retailer store just said no. Another person just said no. I'm starting to tell myself no. But when I pray and get still, I get a knowing. And every one of us has this.

1:31:00 And I believe our life, our leadership, all of our decision- making, uh, and how that turns out will come down to which one we listen to. Do we listen to all the nos, even the ones we're telling ourselves, or do we listen to our knowing?

1:31:13 Ladies and gentlemen, rock this house and welcome to the stage, Jamie Kern Lemur. Jamie Kern Lemur. Every single one of us has had someone tell us we're not enough.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "You Might Be Saying No To Your Calling — Without Realizing It | Jamie Kern Lima"?

In order: 0:00 Makeup, IT Cosmetics, L'Oréal, Highlight reel; 10:00 IT Cosmetics, L'Oréal, Makeup, Highlight reel; 20:00 Adoption, Denny's, Dream Think Do, Infertility; 30:00 Authenticity, Rosacea, Apple iPhone, Concealer; 40:00 Purpose, IT Cosmetics, Authenticity, Denny's; 50:00 Purpose, Denny's, Makeup, Rosacea; 1:00:00 Makeup, Purpose, Real beauty movement, Rosacea; 1:10:00 L'Oréal, Makeup, New York City, New York, Self-doubt; 1:20:00 Denny's, Self-doubt, L'Oréal, Self-Worth.

What is mentioned in this Jamie Kern Lima episode?

45 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Makeup, Purpose, Self-doubt, Denny's, IT Cosmetics, L'Oréal. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "You Might Be Saying No To Your Calling — Without Realizing It | Jamie Kern Lima"?

The episode runs 1 h 32 min; the transcript is about 18,075 words in 209 timestamped sections.

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