Transcript

"Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)

From Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 24 min · 18,435 words · 101 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of ""Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)", an episode of Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang published June 20, 2022 (1 h 24 min, about 18,435 words). It mentions 13 people, works and ideas, including Calvin Klein, Broad City, Omicron, Meryl Streep, Jared Frieder.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Omicron, Jared Frieder, Meryl Streep
  2. – 20:00: Broad City
  3. – 40:00: Amy Fisher, Gilded Age, I Love That For You, Kristen Davis
  4. – 50:00: Broad City
  5. – 1:00:00: Broad City
  6. – 1:10:00: Calvin Klein
  7. – 1:20:00: Bowery Ballroom, Mexico City

Notable quotes from ""Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)"

  • Don't want to see the work you know what i mean when meryl streeps does adaptation when meryl streep does that you don't want to know that she how she got there you just wanted…
    about Meryl Streep · at
  • Viruses can be really sneaky though you're right especially now in the age of omicron you know this omicron virus can just sneak in the cracks you know it doesn't matter who actually hit it or not doesn't matter i.
    about Omicron · at
  • Naomi peregrine yeah i am calling on behalf of naomi peregrine okay well have you seen broad city yeah she wrote on that you would be a good politician yes you really would…
    about Broad City · at
  • Like i just watch i just watch nonsense and i find that very soothing have you tried the gilded age no maybe that's for you does it have some personality i always find that…
    about Gilded Age · at
  • Salty beauty lab and laser but i guess what you're saying is that with the kristen davis of it all it's like it's hard to you're you're you're there's no escaping rough work some rough yeah like some rough times now because you said you got.
    about Kristen Davis · at
  • Like i mean like it's crazy i mean it's fully insane like i can't believe i don't i also think calvin klein ads are like a heterosexual weapon of war towards gay men to slow us down but now.
    about Calvin Klein · at
  • Have a little bit of that and i was like i don't remember but you remember it was mexico city it was mexico city i was like can you house that you were like yeah i understand because you had to assess you were like okay do i want him in my.
    about Mexico City · at
  • Number you should come it's in the basement of bowery ballroom i couldn't believe it was detached magritte surreal it was surreal to watch what happened oh my god i am not a pipe.
    about Bowery Ballroom · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Meryl Streep — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Jared Frieder — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Our favorite stand-up comedian my beloved period my beloved friend and guest on this podcast jared frieder the director and writer of three months out now on paramount when…
  • Kristen Davis — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Amy Fisher — Person · 1 mention · first at
    The doctor who put mary jo buttofuko's face back together after the long island lolita amy fisher herself shot her in the face i got him to put my nose back on how did okay did…
  • Mary Jo Buttafuoco — Person · 1 mention
  • Nolan H. Brunson — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

  • Calvin Klein — Company · 6 mentions · first at
  • Broad City — Company · 3 mentions · first at
  • I Love That For You — Company · 1 mention · first at
    That done you knew your schedule you planned it you listed your timing shot the pilot of i love that for you last march and it was such a pain in the ass putting makeup on my nose and it was such a thing like i was taking so long.

Concepts & topics

Places & events

Full transcript with timestamps

here we are even i am having such a good time i mean we're here in la together i want to just really savor this concept of us being in the studio together because for so long this has not been the reality of this podcast in fact people have written things up about how oh my god lost culturist has made it work being you know bi-coastal and such and i i don't want to be celebrated for that because i don't prefer that i actually don't prefer it and i think that all of our episodes that we've done in covert are null and void no not cannon i don't think of them are we taking them off the count little girl girl are we taking them off the count they'll be taking off they'll be taking off the they don't count as episodes and we're starting over oh no just kidding in fact we are barreling towards our 300th episode which we have announced i feel great is the great global songbook lost culturalist

presents the great global song the 300 songs of the great global song book that is our 300 episode we are soaring towards it and um really we're taking your suggestions we're taking your suggestions we you i will just say that you and i have not been we have not discussed this yet because normally we have i think for before top 200 moments we like really it was just a google doc basically i don't reveal too much about the process well i don't want to reveal too much about the process because then it just takes away from the enjoyment of the experiencer because the thing is they don't want to see the work you know what i mean when meryl streeps does adaptation when meryl streep does that you don't want to know that she how she how she got there you just wanted to see what's her face um susan orlean exactly smoking weed smoking weed and getting high of course adaptation meryl's greatest performance one of them

so i don't want to say too much about the google doc of it all but suffice it to say there was one for the top 200 and will there be one for the great book watch the space watch this space can i say i don't think it's going to be a google doc i think it's going to be a google sheet cause i want some [ __ ] filters on that [ __ ] that'll be good for me tables yeah pivot table and such i i don't know how to use google sheet so i think that this would be a huge opportunity for me because then once i learn google sheet the sky's the limit i am so interested in computers and how they work did you know that i used to be a person who did who believed that my computer didn't make pdfs there was a time in our lives when matt rotter said i have a virus on my macbook that doesn't let me create pdf and you send things to [ __ ] and she'd make them into pdfs and print them out for me because i convinced

that my computer did not make pdfs oh my god and you and you were convinced that the the source of the virus was porn for sure it was going to be something i watched so much porn but porn that was always criminal limited to the browser it wasn't that you were downloading things never so then how would the virus make its way i think viruses can be really sneaky though you're right especially now in the age of omicron you know this this omicron virus can just sneak in the cracks you know it doesn't matter who actually hit it or not doesn't matter um i i wanna um what just really rejoice in the fact that our guest is with us today the third appearance on the show third appearance on the show they get a jacket they get it no we don't have one we don't have that kind of um i mean we this was even before her half hour on the stand-ups on netflix came out which is exemplary but we one of my favorites and we us

[ __ ] have been out here saying me you josh sharp aaron jackson have all been saying our favorite stand-up comedian my beloved period my beloved friend and guest on this podcast jared frieder the director and writer of three months out now on paramount when there was a moment where i was during early days of covid when i was on the zoom on the podcast couples therapy with naomi and andy fantastic fantastic podcast and i had jared come into the room to bring me something because i knew that when he looked on the screen and saw naomi i knew what would happen his jaw would drop and he would say you're my favorite comedian and that's what happened that's what happened and he said this in front of me in front of joel kim in front of all sorts of comedians he says no naomi is my favorite comedian and he does an impression of her responsibly he says that he says that's not up for you he says white women there you go

that's that's classic and he says what was it my melanies my angelas or whatever it is don't go running alone in this in the streets or whatever it is whatever it is um that joke isn't in the special please check out the special check her out on mythicquest as carol um she and this is this is someone who writes in acts flawlessly and does stand up no this is like this is like a triple crown renaissance woman but this is the comedy this is the comedy like this is what we wish we could do when you can write act and stand up i'm no i'm you're you're saying this in like a jokey way like don't ever project anything on to me i think it's like truly like no one can do that there's no one that can do that no i'm thinking because i'm gonna i'm i'm saying like it's so hard to do all three that's all i'm saying i mean and the people who like supposedly do well end up being [ __ ] crooks they're crooks or

criminals sometimes i see these people okay yeah listen to me look at me i'm looking at you i see these stand-ups movies and they write they've written the movie yeah and i acted it and they're like you're [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] queer crook you've stolen this opportunity from someone else not our guest no i guess never once oh there's there's wealth to be shared with our guest i'm so excited she's here welcome into your ears naomi at bergen wow that was an introduction for my dream journal but you always get one we bring it to you every ball as they say bring it to you every ball yes that is absolutely true i will point out that you are also both triple crowns you were like no who does stand up right we're not triple she's right we're not triple crowned no she's right i've seen you both do stand up early also can we also say four actually vocalistas come on now that's called charistas and vocalists they only opened

for me on my christmas show oh my god with the one here or the one inside oh my god yeah how was that so fun yeah fun time and then omicron shut the hell down no and then you're like uh dc i was like i can't be going anywhere else yeah but i i don't know like i was just like so happy to provide my audience with naomi like i was just like and i could tell they were lit up she was doing a survey you weren't providing them anything just saying i had a show and so she was on it and so therefore i was like helping to provide the sustenance you were a purveyor i was you're a creator of that good of that goal of that good good yeah okay um how are you feeling i am you know what honey yes be real i say i'm doing my best yeah no matter what it is any given day i'm giving you the best that i got i need a baker style honey i can't do any more i can't do any more than what i'm doing the best naomi's

best is very good you have to be so thrilled with the response to your special i mean everyone like was like just over the moon about it and everyone already obviously knew i mean if they didn't know that's insane but i also feel like in the last couple of years like it's been a little bit of a moment do you feel no and isn't that so funny like when you're like oh my again you know how this stuff works i think it was funny when the half hour came out i was like okay hollywood what are you calling yeah like i'm waiting for the phone to ring you this most recent one yes this one i was like holly was not calling well maybe they lost my number then at one point i thought it was hollywood calling and it was just cvs and it was just like really hard you know but i am so happy that it's out in the world and that feeling of you know when you're out here just feeling like uh especially in the pandemic you know i'm

saying like when we're in the house for so long because what i'm happy about with that is that i put that together in two months after not being ready for 15 months would you guys tape that august 5th wow and uh i got the invite may 25th so i june july to hit the streets put it together try to memorize it and then put it out there and be like i hope they like so i'm really so happy yes not a i'm sorry to cut you off not so seamless you couldn't even tell like where they were cutting in and out of if they were at all it just felt like that was just that was that one show yeah yeah i think maybe one joke from the second show yeah there you go i mean like it was just so perfect anyway sorry no thank you i mean i mean i'll always take the accolades obviously interrupt me to give me a receiver over here so wait you do it twice but they felt that one was i fell i said i literally said afterwards i was like you better

use that seven o'clock show because the audience was perfection yeah and then the second show it was like and it's funny because the second shows were where all the people i knew were coming oh interesting so i expected that one to be a little you know it's late show energy yeah yeah and when i tell you what's happening you never know the science there is no science to it no yes there really isn't like it was funny because having performed a bunch in december like um and after after like you said not for such a long time like the audiences are definitely there but but not every audience is like we're so excited yeah there's a pendant like there's audiences where as a group you're like okay y'all are a b-plus you know what i mean a-plus is great yeah we love a b-plus because it keeps you hungry it keeps you humble keeps you keeps you humble and hungry i don't think hollywood calls anymore yeah that's not how i i i

as a city council person oh my god we need you we need you this city needs you i would make calls for you thank you so much oh are you kidding me i would make calls i would canvas the hell out of any neighborhood hi have you heard about naomi peregrine yeah i am calling on behalf of naomi peregrine okay well um have you seen broad city yeah she wrote on that you would be a good politician yes you really would sometimes i do think of it i do but i don't you know they're all crooks and so i was like do i really want to be involved in that but i would kind of like to because i would like to be like fun politicians yeah that's what i mean it's like the thing about politicians i feel like so many of them are so [ __ ] boring like i honestly think that we could win more seats if we just put some stars up there thank you and i don't mean actors turn this i just mean people with star quality personality

yeah aoc has star quality yeah and i think that's why everyone was like who the [ __ ] is that and right and then then like of course her her policies are amazing and like everything's great but there is that intangible that like it really doesn't matter and you see it with the presidential race it's like you know very few of them have star quality right right bernie had it joke kind of happened but like but for some people for some people some people were like oh that joe biden was you know but you know what that was not star that was comfort and that was comfort that came from stockholm syndrome okay someone who has not known true love and said well that reminds me of daddy even though daddy wasn't good to me you know what i'm saying yeah it was like it was like it was like daddy on his deathbed said they'll take care of you and you believe daddy right oh my god but you're still dying oh daddy's dying

daddy died daddy died obama's gone daddy died i thought daddy was this country and i know daddy in this analogy daddy is obama and he's thank you you say goodbye teddy and then you turn to him can you imagine like i have to pivot to bowen can you imagine the poc actually being out in this world repping a caucasian no literally be like i have a white friend and you should listen to him i won't do it i won't do it in a million years well he didn't want to do it he wanted to do he wanted it to be kamala but then she kept kind of flopping so i feel like i should just be clear and say that i did not mean to sim for mr biden and that i just wanted to bring up examples outside of the um aoc yes yes tapestries do we reveal um i don't uh we can reveal if we if we want yes are you ready for this yeah we received a text from our manager saying lol would you ever have miss gen saki on what and i think it was immediate i was

hiking at griffith last week and i was like no i was like i don't think we can no i was like i just don't think it'll be fun but beyond that it's just there's we can't it's not that we don't support it's just that we can't endorse also like what happened do you think her people reached out to your people so i think our man maybe we whatever no i don't think we should cut it out i think this is real life this is what we experienced our managers were on a call with the white house press team social media teams some such all too bad we never have jen saki on right i guess they were talking a lot of like industry folks about like things that you know the administration is fun and edgy you know be fun and edgy erasing student dad continue what did jen say she was gonna do she i don't think so honey reporters

i don't think so honey my guy who does my hair why'd you give me this mrs sloane haircut i'm looking like chastain up in here oh my god yeah maybe it would be fun if we if we gave her a script if maybe we could turn it around for ginseng not that i think it's is it i don't know do people not like denzel i feel like after that margarita um line do you know what i'm talking about do you notice that i don't remember this was after as this was after um i think it was after bill back better died or something um it's final death or some something like that and then jen was like on some talk show it might have been the view might have been some other daytime thing where she was like i understand that we're all feeling frustrated but i think we all just got to take the weekend take a kickboxing class have a margarita with your girls and come back you have a fight to fight and just like that and just like that

oh my god see that is a you know what i think of that that is aggressively basic yeah that's an attack of basicness but you know but it's this thing where like outside of the twitter sphere is that speaking to a segment of the population that like we we just don't have it like we're completely out of touch with like a group of a huge swath of the people who do he'll hear that and go uh go off girl absolutely not especially the kickboxing class part sure because you could sub in with beverage of your choice for the second half yeah and whoever you like she's like what's relatable kickboxing no no literally yeah just like press a juice and read um why men love [ __ ] whatever i mean but the fact is i mean we have actually people people like um they tweet in and they say we want naomi back that is a true honor you know i love you the funniest woman in america well i was gonna reach out to you guys i feel like

maybe i did too before it was coming out and i was like hey can i come to the pod that is like the hardest thing for me to do to reach out to people like ask them if i can like do their thing even though i feel like at this point i'm at least i know y'all at least eight years and you know what i mean at least i feel like i've known y'all out in the streets and i'm like um hi i know you're building an empire and uh i was just wondering uh if you remember that one time uh we were in a green room uh and uh i think it was the old little fields yeah it was old littlefield the bigger one oh old littlefield um and we said we don't have it tonight and then i you sent me that text and i was like of course it wasn't it wasn't one of those first of all i should say that i any time i see any time i i see someone ask for a favor i go no yeah yeah i'm i'm so [ __ ] great i'm not yeah yeah it's not like no

opening it's just like oh i guess i'm just usually no it's not that it's like i'm usually distracted enough to be like i need to think about this later like uh hearing from you and like hearing that the special was coming at the half hour is coming i was like oh my god of course yeah it wasn't i think you are going into this with enough goodwill from so many people with so many people that like you are you can actually pull that lever and send it back because the thing is i think you are like a comedian's comedian whereas and like it's just we're so excited everyone in the comedy community is so excited to see you succeed and like that's for real well and that to me i will say this right when we say like how do you feel you know about the response of the special nothing touches me more than that you said this to me people when i reached out to you sorry comedians watched it i was like do you know how hard it is to

watch another comedian do anything right you're gonna be like when you're out here and like trying and you're just like what the hell is [ __ ] because i've seen it all it's between like seeing people's sets all the time or where are you at emotionally at the time yeah somebody else coming up you know i mean oh my god you actually chose to watch this and you're off time thank you for this blessing that is that is the truth in the light and that is definitely what made me feel like okay okay i'm one of i'm one of you now there you go isn't it funny though like like because i would i would think of you as like someone who's like reached such a thing but it's like you still feel and i still feel this way too like sometimes i even have a hard time even saying i'm a comedian still because i feel like there's this thing there's this assumption when you say you're a comedian that you're funny it's like you

know i have a tough time saying i'm a singer too i mean it's like it's hard to like claim this thing or even actor like i don't know what it is like where i have to get to make sure that i'm okay with saying i am who i am right and then it goes away over time like i guess now that i make money doing these certain things it's like easier but when did you feel comfortable saying you were what you were well it's interesting so um among friends and people who who were in it easily i was actually on lift a couple days ago and the guy asked me what i did and i said i was a comedian and he was like really where and i go netflix the ability to point out something specifically now makes me feel like i could tell a stranger off the street yes because when you you know go to somebody's like i'm a comedian and a writer it's like okay what would i know it's like i don't know what you would know yeah i don't know

your life yeah but it's like now it feels like there's enough things that i could point to in any given time right now it feels like that's okay and it's also for the people for instance who have no idea what we really do or what it entails yeah you can at least point to this end result because it's so my mom will still ask me about projects from like three years ago right because you'll be like well whatever happened with that yeah and i'm like nothing she goes but you wrote it and i was like uh-huh so now what i'm like yeah maybe girl you can't ask yeah yeah you gotta let go and let go it's so interesting like being in this is so different than what than than being outside it yeah and to be honest i've this is this is quickly just me saying this i don't know i'm not like that pulling focus or anything i just i i i feel like i too have had this crisis recently where i'm like i don't think i

can call myself a comedian well i don't think i can call myself a writer that's wrong i don't think i can call myself an actor at this point i'm like i'm truly like what is mine there's no but you are all three of those things professional but right yeah i guess i guess there's something different about like the um whatever you put on your like taxes versus whatever you like however you like identify and relate to like your craft right and i guess i'm not feeling like i guess i need to like return to like this craft work relationship with it well it's interesting because i will say as much as you're both like so wrong when you're all the things that you don't think you are i also really appreciate the fact that you're willing to stop and look within and say am i comedian because too many people are saying they're comedians agree too many people are saying they're comedians out here okay a

viral tweet does not a comedian make sure and i think i am and of course we can all be everything and it's not like what is stand-up or whatever but there is something for me about the um i hold in high regard the work it takes to stand up in front of people and win them over yeah oh my god live performance aspect if you have not had to do that to me i'm not your personality you're an actor like don't get me wrong you have built up your crowd yeah yeah but you only had to hit them straight right exactly you know and and kind of had your have your soul eroded in a certain way and then like you know replenish it's a different thing i'm also excited to get to the point now with i mean hopefully and i'm knocking on wood with the numbers going down and like you know they're saying that europe is like a quote-unquote end game of the pandemic i'm really excited for people that are young and people that were

starting out to be able to resume yes getting better and getting out there on stage because i think that one of the big obviously there's so many tragedies and sad elements of what we've been through in the past three years now but i just think of myself as a developing talent when i was in my 20s and like really grinding and like waiting tables and that stage time was so important and i think about the generation of people who just because of bad timing right when they were about to get their stuff and like the live scene was really thriving and then this happened and that had to stop and not everyone is good at you know being malleable enough to go to the zoom right or to go do front facing on instagram or to be a self starter and write something and like get yourself out there like it's not necessarily true that because you're a great live performer you're going to be good at all that stuff so just to know

that like you know shows are happening again and to have seen it firsthand like it's just nice because i know how invaluable that is and that it creates real performers so it's nice to see the thing about live performance is that you can jump into it and then figure out what you're good at yeah and it doesn't have to be live performance does that make sense yes yes well you're learning how you connect with people yeah yeah especially you're learning at least for me it was i learned how people saw me right when i get up what is your expectation yeah how do i play with it and play into it and so and it took me only of course getting up in front of so many different people and realizing oh okay right and and there is that obviously of course it leads to like six sick levels of self-consciousness right and self-obsession but also a self-awareness that can be very helpful yeah yeah yeah that's i think when you

know i feel bad for people who kind of came up online yeah i mean obviously it can be great and you out here logan paul in it with your 12 mansions or whatever but also the way you engage with humanity is like kind of such an extreme it's disconnected yeah and it's like but also like people love you or they [ __ ] hate you yeah and there's no in between and it's like it's also you are you are literally uh calculating and negotiating your timing um and you don't actually know how to engage with things because it is like there is something about being in front of a live audience and you know i used to say this is another reason why i think it's a shame that you know we've had like the downfall of like ucb chelsea because what i always thought about like watching really good improvisers in that space was they were able to do something really small and get a reaction just because of the way

that space was laid out yeah and it created great actors you know what i mean like and it's like you would only understand that from seeing observing and performing in a space like that so those spaces are really important and so every time one shuts down or like something goes down with something i'm like gosh that's like a whole legion of performances that would have thrived and been so great and like you know it's it's it's so it's frustrating but like i'm hopeful that like they'll return it's just it's just it's been a long time since like i have thought to myself oh i should go i should see like i i i might be doing something in the summer i don't know yet but the only hesitancy i have around it is that i haven't done it in so long and i kind of compartmentalize snl it's its own animal as its own animals with a separate skill set than what i used to do which was like go up either do like a weird

six minute set or do like something completely did you do power points and stuff would you ever like presents i did power points every now and then i would do matt and i would do with lip syncs i would yeah of course there was i was kind of like getting like something close to like a 15 minute set down i mean now none of it is that usable anymore i don't think but like i have a question i feel like i've fully like shed that and left that behind in a weird way as you guys have gained an audience and attention do you feel freer in that meaning okay they're people who like me i can kind of get on stage and have fun now you know you know as opposed to that feeling of like oh god what's it gonna be or do you feel like no it's like it's a different thing do you shouldn't interest there is a there is like one so i did the first show i did going back after not performing for legit two years greta and i had a

headlining show at new york comedy festival and so i did i did 45 which not only had i not had quote unquote not done in a while i had never done and it was it was you loved it i loved it yeah and my touring agent was there and he was like why didn't you ever tell me you could do that and i was like to be honest with you it's somewhere in somewhere somewhere in between i didn't know i could and i just don't want to call myself a stand-up like unless i really respect because i respect it so much and because i respect people like you so much and i respect people like you know joel and like megan gately you know i mean like people that are my peers but but i can see the hard yards they put in on that art form and so honestly like when it comes to myself as a performer i don't know how you feel but yes it is nice to know that i have people out there that enjoy what i do and enjoy my voice and so therefore i

don't feel as nervous about putting that into the container that is the stand-up thing but and then when i went out for my christmas show and did a bunch of dates and had such a nice like turnout and everything it was nice because i didn't think they came out just to cheer for me i think they came out because they wanted to see it and then they like yeah you know what i mean like i don't think it was this thing of like oh i can go out there and do anything because if that was the case i would yeah and just make the check and then go home right right but like this feeds who i am like i really that's what i want to be as a comedian and an actor etc so it gives you an excuse and it also just kind of it lets you kind of i feel free to try things and have fun which is how i unlock personally how i am i don't know yeah yeah i i think that's a i i kind of really identify with all of that and i don't mean to sound like super um

like like a downer on this but like i feel like on this note of like compartmentalizing all this stuff with snl now i'm kind of like well i have all of these support systems at my job where literally like i can like get the costume down and i can like get all these things like get to get the look and the makeup and the writing and the cue cards all like lined up so that i can like just plug in and do it like it takes this different self-sufficiency obviously to like write your own material be the only person on stage unembellished like to do it yourself and i kind of don't know i kind of need to work up the nerve to do it again because once you do it once you do it you remember it's there yeah yeah you gotta break the seal yeah yeah definitely definitely and there is something about like that's for me what i always wanted like my when i came like dreams for comedy all i've ever wanted was the

ability to like drop in places yeah right yeah and then also to know an audience is there for me so it doesn't all have to be perfect right they like me enough to go on a journey yeah you know and those are you i think you're there no she's definitely there we'll see it depends it depends on where it's so funny i did show it largo a couple days ago and what i tell you it was loosey-goosey i had two jokes in a dream and it was like 15 minutes and i was like and i hadn't been up in like six weeks and i just hadn't you know you just don't have [ __ ] in your head like i didn't have anything and so i was like well we'll see how much goodwill have amassed and they said girl you better dance when it was enough it was not imagine an audience being called to you but i guess it happens but like it happens but it was just so i was like oh i go okay i see i see you want the a game i see do you love a gay audience

i actually do yeah i i don't even actually do i'm like can you die for you i know but it's funny it's specific like gentle indoor gaze i saw i've seen you at the duplex [ __ ] kill i missed that that is gentle indoor games yes yes like you know just just as a soft boy we both read babysitter's club you know what i mean like that's victorian ghosts oh my god absolutely a drowned prince yes that is so funny i feel like you are uh i feel like the stand-up is going to be something that like the return on the investment of that is going to come over time and later like it's the thing that the thing about netflix i think is that like these stand-ups is that like they'll live on their forever in perpetuity and like people will just that will be like the gateway that will keep the window will stay open on them people will just keep discovering you yeah i think yeah no it's nice it's funny what has your so i

i you you you referenced something before we started but i know we're gonna get to it but what's the media diet been lately it's so funny because i have i've been into a lot of um british bbc give me a procedural but it's a procedural that is an international romp i am traveling from my couch yes especially just that i'm watching something called vandervalk and he's a cop and he's in amsterdam and it is gorgeous these bodies in the canal oh i said i'd love to be a bodybuilder they got to look in the canal because there's always a body there if you want to go on an adventure as a cop you gotta look in the canal you have to and i was like this is gorgeous and then okay i really tried i had started real housewives of salt lake city i'd never watched a housewife yes and it's a good gateway i think right because it's also only the one season right so i could you know i didn't have to catch up

on like nine years however i did not like watching it by myself because there was so much like conversation and things i wanted to say yeah like i would like text a friend of mine who would watch it just like out of the blue and i'd be like what is she on a pole in her damn house on the weekend and she would be like what are you talking about and he's not watching it with you oh no he won't have that he won't do such a thing but also honey we need separate yeah so do you guys really do you guys have separate media diets we do we overlap on a couple of things but definitely separate media diets for instance he's watching a lot of seinfeld really he just was like let me go back you know it's like a very like almost like you know that um comfort watching you put on there okay i'm kind of checked out yeah and then you know british stuff we watch a lot now but it's funny the stuff we watch like i don't

i don't really want to feel stressed in any way so i just want to watch that i'm just like peacemaker what's reacher doing like i just watch i just watch nonsense and i find that very soothing have you tried the gilded age no maybe that's for you does it have some personality i always find that time period and also the downton abbey's like right that stuff was really stuffy and especially that downton [ __ ] i ain't watching 45 minutes just to see you touch somebody's hand right right and that's a romance the gilded age like the american version of downton abbey which to me takes a lot out of it it's like okay but what i will say is like it's it's julian fellowes so and like i think he got away with a lot of downton abbey because it was like very british and like therefore you didn't recognize that a lot of the writing was like really on the nose but the writing is literally this hello i'm here in the

room now are you yes i am too what should we discuss well the matter at hand yes of course the matter at hand what do you think of it this same but a little different well in this mild disagreement i'm going to let you know that i want to do this go do it and i'll see you there bye look out the window scene so on the nose i would watch that it's just long like it's like it's hbo max so it's like hour plus the cast is great carrie [ __ ] is eating it up isn't it carrie [ __ ] christine baranski cynthia cynthia nixon first lady of hmx what is that about i mean now that she ain't governor she's a tech avail absolutely she was like i tried i tried to be a political candidate candidate that's how i that's that my first like question mark and just like that i'm like yeah but we wouldn't have this if cynthia was governor and so therefore do we need it i we have gone on record to say that we the the finale right at so many wrongs

did it really well i didn't actually literally write them you just enjoyed the finale that we're like what the show should be made the whole season worth it interesting could not i watched the first three episodes then i watched episode i believe seven i was livid i was living from the beginning yes and i just felt like i could not i could never get right with it yeah and i just felt like if there's one thing i felt is that like honey time is short i could get i could get the cold cold any day yeah i can't be wasting my time on it just like that right right and then i got i was glad when charlotte's puffiness went down the first couple episodes i go what did they do to her i kind of just wish that these people who decided to book and then decided to get work right before well just think about that yeah there's like no need let it settle like you know you know your schedule right like like

get it three months before right you know what i mean like not two weeks before i know like sometimes it's just i have nothing against people doing anything they want do whatever you want it's just time it out right right right right because she literally transformed between episodes yeah she hadn't settled yeah and i didn't realize i was like worried because it made me very nervous because to think you would have that level of cash and fame and somebody would still do you wrong like that i was like my god no one's safe no no no no no no there's no immunity from it i was like okay i guess it's just the process i learned that's just the process wealth does not inoculate you from talking like this would you ever get anything done yeah i want to do um i want to just kind of melt this off and give me an actual draw line you're talking about your like chin and then chin neck and like you see right here

the the jaw here yeah kind of kind of get that down that's it that's all i think that as as men were interested in this area because what's so desirable is that really is that a strong jawline um and so that i think is something that as we get into our 30s like we look at more and more and i also i look at my parents and sometimes i see that they have a little bit of that don't bring them into this no i'm not gonna but i'm just gonna say like as you age like when you see and you see people in your family get that you think oh i might get that that's a natural part of the human aging process right but because you're in the distorted dystopian hollywood entertainment industry you think you're aware of that type of thing that i definitely wouldn't be right have i been like a straight investment banker or whatever yes it's funny because i saw you posted a picture on instagram i don't know a couple weeks ago that i

texted you how were the smoke and mirrors working that day let me know always working but it was it was you know you had a picture of your nose and like your nose is busted and i remember texting you being like are you okay and then you're like oh that was from the past but my first thought i said did he come out here and get a damn nose job well yeah living in hollywood but not technically but wait you did i had a i had a sister i was born with an inch long cyst in the nose i don't know if if you look at old pictures of me i had like a red certainly like a we can say a hole like a dimple in the middle of my nose and it was getting to the point where it would get like infected oh wow okay and so i had to say it wasn't even an elective it wasn't really elective no i medically needed it but because like insurance companies are like oh it's a rhinoplasty that must be an elective surgery they did not cover

it so i paid coins what to get a rhinocepto and get this inch long cyst in my nose that i was born with removed best thing i ever did okay and now it's like not an issue but i did i can say i got work done right right right right and i'm very happy that i did and honestly like your face didn't change why you're facing change well i told him i was like you know i really don't want to change the way i look yeah and i was like i really like the like grecian shape of my nose like i like it i don't want to look different and they were like well you know the thing is like when you have a surgery like this you will look a little different i was like okay we'll make me look better i thought okay then i wanted to be centered up to happen like this um but you know it's just it is what it is but i know guys guys that are a little bit older than us like i know we worked on a movie with someone who's 38 and he has

incredible skin and i asked him like what do you do and he's like when i was 31 i started getting botox preventatively mm-hmm so that's something that's my co-host megan gailey from the i love a lifetime podcast which which is so fun we mentioned couples therapy and i have a lot to do but also matt it was so funny though because matt like doesn't like scary and i'm like okay lifetime is thrillers only honey and when this one comes on and it's like i was terrified i was clutching my laptop what was what was it called cycle granny psycho i watched a movie called cycle granny about wait life time is horror now well it's always chilling it's thriller thriller chiller thriller chiller yeah yeah okay but um and it was uh but she's been doing botox for forever and i'm i think i'm too much of a pessimist like i'm always just afraid of something going wrong i know i got it you know yeah but it's not that i don't think like

yeah i'm just always like oh lord what did they leave something in me and next thing you know i got a gauze belly when you saw his belly when you think about it not as not as botox but as botulism toxins absolutely yeah i mean it's like then it's like oh god that sounds like it could go wrong and also you want the person that's doing it to be good but you can find those person right those people you just have to pay for it and look for it and take time to like figure out whether you're gay from real estate yeah salty beauty lab and laser but i guess what you're saying is that with the kristen davis of it all it's like it's hard to you're you're you're there's no escaping rough work some rough yeah like some rough times now because you said you got that done you knew your schedule you planned it you listed your timing shot the pilot of i love that for you last march and it was such a pain in the ass

putting makeup on my nose and it was such a thing like i was taking so long on the chair because as a result of it my nose was irritated it was painful and so i was like i'm a not putting myself through this or a makeup department do this again i was pretty confident it would get picked up so i was like let's [ __ ] do this so i got get this the doctor who put mary jo buttofuko's face back together after the long island lolita amy fisher herself shot her in the face i got him to put my nose back on how did okay did not even think he'd be a veil he was on ice i've been around he was on oprah but like you know what i mean like you'd be like okay i can see you in four years do you mean that kind of guy he's in beverly hills and i was like i was like let's go and i got an amazing dermatologist that recommended him to me went did it it was done well but after the surgery he did tell me he's like it was a really hard

surgery whoa he was like he was like i'm really happy you came to me and i was like okay but honestly like after some like scar treatments like it looks yeah good yeah and i also don't look different right right you feel lucky i feel so lucky but also you deserve i feel you i feel the wind improved and also not for nothing but they did a septoplasty too so my breathing was better oh great breathing because everyone's got that little deviation of course a little naturally a little natural what would you get done have you had anything done i haven't had anything done i do it's when you were talking about our draw like i'm noticing and it's funny that dang half out everybody

we're in crisis we're in crisis and then meanwhile it's like i'm hearing you say this and i'm like you looked [ __ ] stunning you did and i didn't notice this is going to live online forever in 80 countries and you got these caucasians touching my face yeah but you looked great you looked really good it worked itself out but part of why we didn't use some of that second set is because between the tapings there's like no time because i was like last on the first show first on the second show how many how many of you guys because i know that they got like b-roll you guys hanging out and dusty sleigh so it's three-year-old yeah and so so between there's like not much time right certainly i worked up a sweat you know i like to be very active and so then he just sort of like shellacked on this much lighter stuff no and so like whenever the camera was like punching in washed the [ __ ] out i was looking like yeah it

was just like it also looked cool it wasn't even warm no no no no i will definitely show you footage i will show you some of the original promo pictures right can you please make me look my skin color and then i'd like send them pictures of my actual i was like here's where i was looking good and i was like can you match that yeah yeah yeah um and so it was like oh good lord but uh i just remember just you know you look at yourself and she's like okay and i you had to just freaking let go there ain't nothing i can know about what somebody's gonna think and we were saying like no one is thinking about those little things as much as you are so that's another psychological hurdle to go over especially when you're tall and when you're on camera looking down at people a lot like when you look down and like this happens yeah like for example in the show i'm shooting now like i'm taller than all these ladies so

i'm looking down at them like this and it's just i know the chin be chinny but also like i was not somebody you know i will do whatever to get the laugh i'm not necessarily trying to look cute when i'm on stage right so i will that's a bonus yeah and do something but then when you see it kind of bigger it's like baby girl you're out your damn mind yeah but like in the moment it's like of course like that was fun for me to do yeah and then it was just funny when they were like okay we have some promotional photos i was like reject reject yeah reject in the moment it works yeah you just take a still a bit oh no it's upsetting that's another thing with live performance it's like you figure out your little little tricks at work like like your little kind of shifts and movements that work like you know your little things and then you look at them on camera and you're like no and you got my trick and the trick is

ugly and you gotta you gotta learn to not hate the stills photographer like it's not yeah it's not it's not their fault it's just they have a god swallow it's god's fault they happen to press the shutter at the weird at the wrong time look i'm a mover it's hard for them exactly the same thing right and so a lot of you know when you have a lot of comics who do kind of just stand in place it's really easy to just like get them being cute whereas henny i'm using the space you're filling the negative space and yes thank you committee kinetic kinesthetic and the suit we have to shout out the susan alexander bag so oh absolutely uh shout out sydney washington for making that connection for me like two days before the ticket oh bless because i'm like i love alexandra you here's her here's her number see it and i was like oh my gosh she gave me back uh and i live you know because i love to bring my bag on stage

because i don't trust people but i knew it had to be something special yeah i didn't want to do it to start and and i couldn't figure out how to start the set and then i was just like every time i bring the bag it just kind of loosens up the room yeah i was like yeah i got to bring them back it's a great solid bit to start out on when you have those little things it's like and they're tried and true i never i never fault uh someone who i've seen do this a similarly structured set multiple times i never fault them for doing the same temples yeah like start midpoint finish like if they're all like consistent i'm like yes that works on a structural level but i wasn't sure because right of course you could do it when like we're performing in some janky bar or some theater but i was like this is a taping you know my bag is actually safe somewhere yeah right but i was like well who really knows we're in times square

yeah right exactly so i was like i'm just going to have it and i didn't i had my phone in there i had my room key and i had i had a lip balm oh my god yeah of course you guys gave up your apartment in new york right yeah that was your mom's place yes yes did she still there yeah but we were like you know for the taping and everything we were at the hotel they were taping off because we had to do all this you know running back and forth right did mom come to one of the shows yeah she came and do you know and my mother she always has notes oh and after the seven though she came to this early show and she texted me she was naomi i haven't laughed so hard forever that was that was great no no i love that and she usually has one she always has some notes yeah and are do you get them are you kind of like mom matt we don't need those we don't need those notes you know i mean it's already been done the show's been done

i don't need you telling me hashtag to learn something else the show's been done oh is that what it is that kind of stuff yeah so it's like mom notes and not like i don't know about this joke oh and but even that is a mom version like do you have to say that you know parental notes in my experience as well have always been about my appearance and and not even my appearance or my dad will always be like on sundays will be like wow i loved how you played a news reporter i loved how you looked like a normal person and i'm like okay i understand what you're saying like that i wasn't like a total [ __ ] [ __ ] on tv and you're happy about that and i and you know what like that's what that's what the parental feedback usually ends up being for me

parental feedback for me i have to say i'm pretty lucky with this my parents really close dollar brand my parents kind of get it and i think i think that they they've kind of like um seen me do a lot on like they were coming to like my sketch comedy shows in college where it was like all the humor was basically sex and like yeah yeah you know what i mean like so they've kind of seen the whole thing i think that now that it's become sort of more personality driven my dad says things like it's great to be a fly on the wall like my dad my dad really likes the episodes of this podcast where it's like he loves the studio episode yes because it's just yeah and sometimes i have to remind myself that he's listening to those like and i don't i never do when like when she's here because we pop off or whatever but i think there is something about um parents getting to genuinely actually get to know their kids in their work

because i'm not going to go home and with my mom and dad be like well it's been tough with me bottoming recently because you know what i mean whereas where i'm with him it's kind of just like you know i say these things because it's how i feel yeah right and it is part of my comedy part of my experience but um i would i don't think at this point anything would surprise them and i don't think they feel like it's not like it maybe was in the beginning where they're like maybe this or maybe that like i think they know that i know what's up right right right does mom listen to your podcast no but uncle fred does and uncle brad will be commenting i was like you are very active on instagram like a friend i don't i'm not ready for this and then i'll be talking in the pod and i'm like oh my god uncle fred lessons like i'll remember becca and but it's just funny because he's never said anything to me

like it's in he comments on stuff he's never like written me you know a message or been like me i'm worried he just but he doesn't but i have to remember that but it's just so funny i i'm pretty glad that she doesn't she hasn't really done a deep dive podcast as a concept i will not encourage it i will not tell her how i just said you know what just know they happen she did listen to lifetime she was like oh i like the beginning which means she only heard the intro right when i was like great when she listened to the beast fun yeah um and so i was like great you know i'm no i'm not going to let it it took me so long just to let her come see me perform yeah yeah okay it's like can you have can you have anything right that's the thing you've got to draw these lines you know the public the private or not even just private as much as you know you and your parents matt you all are like hanging out golfing loving each

other in disney world you know what i mean yeah and there's like an ease there whereas i think i am still very much controlling the narrative uh-huh and uh yeah recalibrating the distance and not not not in like a a dysfunctional way i'm sorry but you know what i mean like that's how i feel like i to be honest i feel like i do that a lot um and it's okay and i think my parents understand that and it's it's fine yeah there's been a lot of pain in the journey towards me like doing what i do right right right so it should a lot of it is sacred to me and also i feel like now they understand it because it's so objective your success yes whereas like i think it was kind of amorphous to them before because they didn't understand what like where i would end up right yeah and now that it's like and they didn't even really know what saturday night live was right but then it ended up being like a thing

like of sitting in like you know an uber and having your driver be like oh what have you yeah what have you done you can say like netflix and like it took like other people to tell my parents oh bowen's doing so well yes exactly my mom too i remember when i first started writing on broad city and again and even comedy central like my mother she's like she has a web series and then she was at work and there was a young a young lawyer in the in the elevator and like one of my mom's friends is like you know how's naomi she's like oh she's good she's on she's working on this thing called broad city and then the lawyer the young lady was like i love rosita and then my mom came home and was like what is this broadcast yeah yeah i was like it's been two years thank you um but it's true it's like you have to hear from other people to kind of understand where it stands right well it's so fascinating now too because

we are so far away from the monoculture that unless it's like yellowstone which my parents do watch yeah of course not everyone knows it like i wrote for the other two which is like a huge show within the gay community and within the comedy community but then and no shade but like you talk to people who are like my parents yeah they don't know what the [ __ ] that is right right right like but it means everything to people that live in like new york and la and like huge and like oh my god i love that show whatever people don't [ __ ] know what that is i know people don't know what q force is right i know like no i love it yeah okay while i have you here i'm green were you also singing giving me the falsetto of the little boy from january yes thank you i thought so i said that's matt's falsetto and then it's such a fun line where he goes can i kill him he's a threat to me and so i just like feed it if it was you you have

no idea you know i love when people tell me that they liked you force i it was so like people was very funny i was at like a friend's birthday party recently and a couple gays came over and they were like i just and on set this like second idea came over and she was like i just found out something and then she's like you're a twink and i was like i am yeah and i it came out her mouth and i was like huh yeah she's like you're a twink i thought i heard that you're twink you're twinkling from the keyboard i was like i was like and i was like not for like nine years and i was like oh she means this but like it's it's interesting because like my parents only know what the [ __ ] i work on is is because i tell them right yeah no i'm not because i'm not working on like and even the network shows yeah like our people don't know them right right right you know what i'm so excited to see succeed is um

oh my god of course yeah that is so great and also to see janelle on it and like that feels lyrical too she's so funny like um it feels just like like our and i don't know quinta but like i do know janelle a little bit like but i know that people know them around because i do feel like there might be people yeah and to see that cross over and to see her be like the star of that show and like it'd be a mainstream success and people really like it like that's very rare yes it's just a great premise for a comedy too where it's like and it feels very of the time it's like oh these teachers are like under resourced and like they're going to make it work themselves that's the thing is it's like you think like situation comedy in an elementary school or whatever it is like in a public school is going to be like oh we've seen it but then there is that very specific angle of the underfunded under resource thing

and it's like makes it timely without feeling [ __ ] beating you over the head with it and i'm just excited to see it yeah yeah because there is success in the industry in terms of yes i got something made and then there's real success in terms of like i got a network thing people know exist there's a difference yeah i made it people either like someone recognized the talent or like the goods that's one success right i made the thing that's another success yeah people know it exists yeah it's the third success you know they're the different ways and you have to sometimes just you know be happy with where you land with them exactly um the quinta thing is so cool because um i think the write-up in vulture was like i think they did a profile on her where they were like she like kind of like for her to like make a network comedy sort of like pop off this way is like yeah pretty great yeah i mean especially

because not often do they succeed or exactly exactly because there's so many hurt i mean think about how hard it is well she and i were developing both abc at the same time and so yeah this particularly i think that time and that cycle where it was like and also too it kind of overlapped then the pandemic started because first i was like i really like you but now we want you to write a backup script okay now wait this is going to hurt us all that kind of stuff and so you know just to get through all of that and also for nobody over there to give up on her yeah you know to be like yes let's make this let's do this let's do it you know that's like i mean blessings all around and rare but you gotta you gotta run your own room soon and like it's it's do you wanna you wanna be talent oh you're not in the room though it's so hard okay see i just assumed for whatever reason just because you've been

in you've you've done the job so well for so long that like maybe you would want to like level up and do but if you just want to be talent god bless like i'd love to write it but you know what it is actually when i see what performer show runners have done you know working on difficult people for instance obviously uh broad city and like and again that's a little different because they write and then shoot yeah but sometimes that overlaps and it's like stress i honestly do not care what color ty the extras wearing right but the show runner needs to have an opinion and everyone very least someone's going to ask for it right i don't even like when people behind me in line are like let alone if a bunch of people are waiting for my opinion on something for it to begin especially when you are like i see vanessa do it like she's the star of the show she like created the show she like is an ep on the show she does all these

things and like wrote the first episode and like and it's just it's so much work and the only like i think about this like i think about like what would it be like you know for us to have our own show and it's like you'd really have to fall in love with the idea because you have it it has to be your life yes like that's the thing is it's like when we talk about like making a show or like what i think i think about what i want that to be it's like i have to really wait to make sure that it's the right thing saying the right thing with the right people in the right way because you have to be a hundred percent on board because it is a hundred percent of your energy it is so hard yeah

yeah honestly superhuman okay the fact that you can already like draw that boundary within yourself is huge and like it will will mean good things and then if you just want to be talent for now then yes oh my god please just like well i feel like i feel like we're like encouraged to want to be that person that does everything but it's also okay because i i secretly want that too i think and it's been i haven't really been able to say that forever don't just be talent i'm obsessed with just being talented honestly thank you because here's the thing and also i'm happy to write but also but here's another thing i will say and again i hope i'm not so i'm like i'm preaching on you no no no no no i think the thing is we're in a business you know where we are creative and there is a very big difference between a creative voice and a managerial voice knowing how to delegate knowing how to communicate

and i would tell you right now if i'm your boss i'm probably crying in the bathroom yeah and we just don't need it we need someone professional we need someone focused we need someone not emotionally attached to this and you know what you know because like if i'm doing something and then you're like i mean it's gonna work i'm like this is who i am yeah yeah yeah i've almost i've almost cried like several times over nothing and i'm like and i'm number six but like i walk away from a take and i'm like i hope we got it and the tears come to my eyes and i'm like thank god i'm not more invested in something because i would be a wreck like i you have to like actually like look at yourself and be like maybe like right now where i'm at like it is better for me to just soak up and sponge and like learn like you know it's it's all a process you know not everyone is [ __ ] and who knows if she even really was

ready like lena dunn i'm ready to run and create and do her show and star in it at age like 20 [ __ ] two or three like you know what i mean like you think because these things are done that they're possible that they are the standard right and they're not they're not yeah they're not there's something i love about i think part of what i love about like for instance being on a set is the feeling of being a cog in a wheel not in a bad way but there's some when you are standing on a set and you look out and it's like 60 [ __ ] up in here trying to work make it happen lifting [ __ ] got that cargo shorts full of stuff and all that yeah yeah you realize my job is to stand here and make it easy for you yes and that is such a in a way the simplicity of that is very sounding to me yes i like that way more than like you know if everyone comes he's like what do you think what do you feel what do you want what do you you

know then you get you start to you know decision fatigue and also you just believe your own hype and you start to think you are the center of the universe and that's so funny because like at the end of the day the other day like we were leaving the end of the day and like a sound guy came over and he was like hey thanks for today and i was like thank you and it's like because we both did it you know what i mean like just because you're appearing on camera you literally you have to all work together and it is a team and that's why like you know you never that's why like that like the ayatsi stuff is like you have to support with all your being because it just doesn't happen without every single person and you never understand that more than when you're on a set and like that community is being built and it's just it's really i don't know i'm like it's been really learning experience and great and it's just so hard

to do certain big tasks yeah and have more than one hat yes definitely definitely yeah i was watching um don't ask why a bunch of julia roberts interviews from the last three years no i'm sorry i have to ask why um because i think i'm like newly i'm like i'm obsessed with her once again in my life you read that thing about i read that piece about that that piece about again and vulture about um what was the piece it was about how um she really wanted to lean into being this unlikable protagonist in my best friend's wedding she wanted to sort of like sully her image is this like good girl rom-com lead wow early 90s but anyway and then it just like let me down down this like path of just watching a bunch of videos and like you know this is so i i know this is going to sound so stupid but it stuck with me where she um they asked her what's like an essential you need on set like what's the thing

that you need on set and like they're probably asking her like oh a [ __ ] jade like they want an answer out of her like a jade roller or something you know a snack but then she just goes no honestly like camaraderie like this sense that like we're all doing this together and i'm like oh she's been doing this for so long that's pr that's probably what she's led with for her she literally married a cameraman just so hot so and they're always the hottest people on the set yeah he's like well crew guys are hot oh my god i know they can always get it they can always oh and i said i was like a man in a cargo shirt with a little bit of a stubble a callous tan oh i'm really into it the lesbian cargo short energy on on a set is so so hot to me i will anyone in a cargo short if they're on a movie set or a film a tv set i will ex explore the idea of sex with internally it's going down it's going down inside yeah yep it's going down

inside going down inside that's what it is that's what sex is actually it's going down inside to go down inside that's a rule of culture it's little culture number 70. that's what sex is actually it's going down inside

well i think it's time i think it might be time for i don't think so honey which is an iconic segment i'd say in podcast history and only very few podcasts have really had a segment that has really been so impactful in the culture that people have written articles about it you know like people talk about people and it's our one minute section where we rant against something in pop culture and we go absolutely off on it until it's dragged in the mud and doesn't show itself in pop culture public again again okay i'm ready this is matt rogers has something yeah is matt rodgers i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't think so harley charlie puth given me a boner how come you're so hot charlie it looks like you sort of barely try and i in the best way you are that like naturally hot little boy and i feel like you're so talented and when you throw up on instagram a little super cut of you writing a hits

[ __ ] song when he's like today i wanted to write a song about this and he's like dude and i figured maybe it could be and he's just putting it together and he like will wear like a little tank top or like just be fully shirtless or like he's a little tease boy and i'm like why are you doing this i don't think so honey because here's the deal then i go on your spotify and i'm looking through the songs and i'm not like in love with any of the songs really i'm in love with you no you know what they're all like a minus i don't have my a plus charlie booth but it's making my poofy wet and here's the thing he can have my boothy and even though he i hate that word charlie booth i'm literally so sexually attracted to him and it's so effortless his little cut in his eyebrow like what the [ __ ] i never thought i'd be a puther but i'm putter i think so honey and that's one minute you need to listen to

empty cups you need to listen to how how long you need to listen to girlfriend obviously they're the hits are there you know what song i like um how long he's so good and then sometimes he'll like literally throw together like a pop song on his instagram and i'm like [ __ ] kidding he's like it's so hot and sexy how genius he is and he's so hot and i get the feeling that he's one of those straight guys that you'd meet that you'd be in love with yeah but yeah don't you give you a [ __ ] energy because to me i'm like oh i see what you're saying like as a gay man like he's towing the line with you i think that kind of boy where's like i could i went to wesleyan which was very like artsy fart like hippy dippy at the time and i see him he up with you at four in the morning playing acoustic guitar and you're like are we gonna hook up or what yeah he's just like kind of being close he's going to cuddle you all night

infuriating and then you like don't hear from him again do you know what i mean that kind of feels like he would have rather had sex with him but he's like it's also like he's almost just like playing at closeness yeah without actually having to be close damn it's just he he posted this photo of him on a massage table and like the towel was like you could see like top butt and i was like you know exactly what you're doing and [ __ ] you yeah because it works it's like retail therapy it works it works it just works it just works and the thing is like you get the sense that like he kind of stumbled into being this hot figured out he was and was like hell yeah but it's interesting because i also feel like he probably he should he knew he was cute when he was young and obviously there's like a touch right because wasn't he someone who made his own songs and then yeah yeah youtube right so it's like so you already know

when you're a youtube boy you know that like the people are liking what they're saying but then you get to a point where like people are literally crying when they look at you top butt yeah they think we shouldn't talk thing too though is he as he's getting older he's actually getting hotter whereas like i used to think she's getting stuzzier yeah a little grizzle a little grizzle just kind of really even hotter it really works anything he's not cleaning it up he's kind of dressing it down and i also love and i say this with all love and respect but he it looks like he's not in the [ __ ] gym every single day yeah only caring about that he's not like that natural hotness where i'm just like sometimes when i see these guys like that maybe i would have thought was hot when i was like 12 like mark wahlberg like made a muscle and like you know i did a motion picture with him and we had to hold hands for an

entire day oh my god how'd it go it was okay it felt very strange and like very you know it's just like what am i doing here yeah and then i had it it was like the second day and then we need to hold it and he's very like very like kind of chill person but then as soon as it's time for him to do like he just does what he has to do yeah and the camera's off and then he's like all right he's managing his energy yeah yeah yeah that's like something he's like a typical like person of like when we were younger it was like this is who's hot yeah yeah and i was like yeah you're right and i would used to be horned up for that but nowadays it's kind of like i don't know it looks like they're like less intensive they don't look like yeah like they don't you don't want to make it look you don't want to see that it's a lot of work yeah who's just naturally living their life yeah yeah as opposed to someone who you see and you're like okay

i know there are no carbohydrates allowed in his house yeah that gets a little sweaty for me i'm remembering maybe it's also a thing of like uh i i wouldn't know what to do with all that yeah you know what i mean like yeah that's that yeah i i still will stumble across the marking mark pick with in the calvin's i mean you're a human gay man so it's like i'm like how did this person get like that i'm like it's shocking crazy him smiling and his big old thighs like i mean like it's crazy i mean it's fully insane like i can't believe i i don't i also think calvin klein ads are like a heterosexual weapon of war towards gay men to slow us down but now they want us to be slow they want us to get off at home so we're tired enough our game okay i think it's a long time by the head of us actually now calvin klein i think is really like embracing the their queer and in a very authentic way i truly

believe this i feel like calvin klein is like he's trying to get in he's trying to know no no no it's because he's going to do it i i did a thing without the summer yeah that's right there it is i i literally they just had me host their like live show there it is at pride and it was it was kind of great to see i was like oh the people here like internally like are like care i i s calvin klein characters actually really close to number 105 calvin klein cares they do i i don't want you joking about that and the fact is i'll get in the gym for six months to be in an ad right now i'm not i wasn't in an ad i'm not even saying i was in i'm saying no i'm saying i'm saying for me his the goal would be the goal would be to be

not even the inclusivity it's just like because that feels too like buzzword yeah again i feel like they really have always been about i don't know the uh the queers it doesn't matter we're cutting this out okay no no we're not you know we have to teach you because we love you but i think but i believe that maybe i don't think they knew what they were doing initially yeah when they discovered what it was they embraced it and they did a better job of it than most of these [ __ ] companies that you probably can't yes there was there was a um there was a like season where they had kellen lutz and mikhail brooks from true blood oh yeah and it was the whole the whole thing was it was called the it was calvin racist that would solve racism it was calvin klein and it was like literally it was mccod it was kellen lutz and there was um an asian guy and a latino they did celebrate and they solved racism with it

because i was jacking off to all four and so basically like um but literally the campaign was like you want to see my [ __ ] and it was just them to them talking [ __ ] to camera and it was calvin klein x like mark your spot that was the campaign it was like i'm so google it sounds like a poop it's like mark your spot because it was like x like on the on the band he's like you want to see my [ __ ] like talking about their [ __ ] like i know you want to see it and like all four of them were like talking [ __ ] to the camera and i'm like spinning out coming see this is how you know that i'm not like purely showing for calvin klein is that you want to see my [ __ ] and then mark the spot i think a poo well i wasn't thinking of poo at the time i was thinking like this that's what he was thinking like okay well i'm telling you what was there anything sonny my i don't think so honey was charlie pugh charlie giving me a boner

yes yeah great okay so now it's spawning yeah i think you do okay all right so this will be a moment in time um i don't think so honey time starts now i don't think so honey cars that don't have carplay okay i need my phone ios ecosystem around me at all times especially when i'm driving down these streets of los angeles i want to be able to tap my little messages icon and see what people are texting me as if it was my phone i want to be you i want it to be a wide screen i want to see different panels google maps on one spotify on the other 30 seconds who knows maybe uh um overcast on another it's a podcast staff listen i am having the worst time driving around this little rental corolla around los angeles right now because 50 seconds they don't have carplay and i am taken out of the ecosystem yeah that's right i'm a little apple boy and i need my apple products and carplay one of the best apple

products ever made i don't think so many cars that don't have car play that's what i meant it's so funny because when i first moved to la i said to myself i was like i can't have every one of my i don't think so honey's now be car related he's in la for days and it's like no car play i was actually just going to ask if you um emceed an event hosted by apple carplay i did emcee a pride event for apple carplay they're not as good with pride they've been very authentic about queer people using carplay such as myself but here's the thing i i use carplay and then you're at the whim of wi-fi and bluetooth and it can get shitty because when you're needing to plug in an address and your wi-fi or a carplay backs up and you're on the 405 or the 101. it's like yeah and you're having to negotiate that or else or you're going to miss your exit and you're on the freeway like you know it's trick it's treacherous

taylor swift well you know i don't drive so everything you're telling me is i don't it's too foreign it's too much you want me to look at the map and you want me to drive who do you think i am no of course and then now you got me going to the damn target in burbank buying a little pop socket holder yep for the carvings yep and now i'm yeah it just feels too it's a lot i don't have the confidence necessary now i'm going to tell you right now no no no nothing nothing i got two i don't think so honey's in my head i see okay and i just i'm like maybe we have to like flip a coin you alluded to one of the topics i know and then the other one is more is much more general okay so here's what i'd say i would say if it's gonna influence you and just like that has taken up a ton of space on this podcast okay and i i know you came in with this i don't think so we can still discuss it and it can be discussed and i'm also open to you doing

both i think because you have put a lot of time into in just like that are you going to say that too that you spent a lot of time on and just like that i was going to say that you have earned the right to do both if you would like wow that's gorgeous so you can do both and i'm but i'm telling you if it feels like right in your spirit to only pick one personally and i would never be like whatever you want i'm gonna actually give you my opinion we've talked about it just like that i've just i've decided okay okay i've decided to tell me this is naomi and peregrine's i don't think so honey her time starts now i don't think so honey restaurants with small plates small plates as the meal how dare you and the fact is they be charging so much for the small plate you're like okay that's entree and then it shows up and it's like four scallops no i want an entree honey i don't think so honey made

for sharing honey we're in a pandemy i don't know you and you don't know my hunger level i don't think so honey we do things differently at this restaurant i don't want different i want to give you money in exchange for food and i want it to be enough food that i walk out feeling like i might throw up yes that's how i choose to eat when i'm out in these streets i don't think so henry you know what i would suggest like four little plates per person and that's 15. how dare you you i got to cobble together all four food groups from five different plates i got to pick up how dare you i just put it all on one plate we need to get the goddamn kindergarten plates back when you put a vegetable in one hole you put the protein in another hole give it a carb another hole okay and that's one minute i'm really happy that that happens i'd say i'm happy i steered you that way you know we i want the plates those

plates back too i don't care how juvenile that makes me sound i want the plates like that i'm sick la loves a small plate yeah they do they love everything honey when in spain stop with the topic yes yeah we just went across the street to danny's trejo's tacos and here's the thing with small plates and obviously you order the tacos delicious and they're delicious and they're amazing but this is a read on me they're and they're there on small plates i never know how many is going to satisfy yeah so what i what had just happened was we went over there and i ordered two baja baja fish tacos and two black and salmon tacos and it was too much food was too much to happen and i think i should have ordered two and had the glock that we have uh-huh okay and fine right right small plates gets you to over order that's exactly what they want but and also too i think small plates encourages all this like sharing and i really don't

like sharing food no no get yourself especially away from my food i know especially now but even like it's already like even andy and i you know been together damn you 12 years and it'll be like okay he'll be like can i have some i'm like you should get your on yeah like if we're out and i'm hungry you two are like i'm not a good sharer yeah i'm not a volunteer he's not he doesn't like that about me do you like are you a big like yeah like take a little bite i will always offer bites to people i like sometimes what are you trying to prove nothing i'm offering bites i'm not trying to prove anything i don't have mother teresa but i want to i want a bar i want a barter system not a barter system matt ordered something delicious i'm gonna try a little bite and he always just shoots me the darkest where were we the other day when you were like are you like you said something like hey can i have a little bit of that and i was like

i don't remember but you remember it was mexico city it was mexico city i was like can you house that you were like yeah i understand because you had to assess you were like okay do i want him in my plate if he takes something will i be secretly mad later well the thing is how open am i to this uh the thing is i get it i get it i feel like i didn't have it if i didn't have all of it like even if i'm full i'll eat the whole thing yeah i don't like to take things home i like to finish it yeah so that and so today was frustrating for me for that reason because i left a lot of what was not me which i hate yeah but also it's like usually when i'm ordering on a menu there are like four things i want so when i picked the one thing that means i picked it and i chose it and i committed to it yes okay so that's mine yes yes you have the same time yes and same choices right right you know what i will

do too where it's like oh you want to try something how about this we each get our own mane yeah and we'll pick something that we can share meaning like a third yes i did say a third entree for two people and then you can each have a little bitty bite some that's sensible okay but you can't come up in my plate what your food right you know what else i don't like my mother does this and this is really stupid and counterintuitive but i'll have my meal she'll have hers and she doesn't want to eat all of her food so she'll be like here matt i want you to have this mom i said no thank you we've gone to fights about it i said no thank you she's like just try it i want you to have it no mom i have my own thing you have it then it's on my plate she cuts up and puts

your mom doing that but not even saying here have some my mom wordlessly puts like starts to scoop her food into mine and i go mom stop it we don't and me and my sister have yelled and she's gotten upset because she's like i'm being attacked we're like no mom oh no we are telling you yeah but then you feel crazy because you're yelling at her we do this every year once a year she gets upset that we we it's part of the regression and i said no respect my boundaries yeah yeah that's what you're mad about i'm not snapping i'm just like no thank you i have my thing well it's really good i i don't doubt that i just have this because then like i said as a completionist with food i'll finish everything and once it's on my plate i feel like i must need it yes yes and also with appetizers they'll be like matt finish that i'm like but i want to enjoy my meal and then they'll say no we're not gonna eat it you have to eat

it and all of a sudden it says imposition yeah because i if it doesn't get eaten it's my fault why is it on you because i think they look at me like a 31 year old man who's still like a 16 year old man like well he's a growing boy and our son right and our daughter's not gonna eat it i used to always say that when i was younger i always say i'm a growing boy because you never heard the phrase she's a growing girl i'm a growing boy yeah because i've always had a very you know big appetite and i said i'm a growing boy now do you want to have a platform to talk about steve and just like that yeah please chair okay just really quickly i just don't appreciate the way they did steve dirty on it just like that okay especially given you know the canon okay the history of this show she all she put him through it for sleeping with someone else we've also already seen the story of steve and i don't have sex so why

that was even the story right also why did you have to make his entire character steve can't hear that was like his whole character was just like what and i said y'all did his ass wrong you had him meeting you on the brooklyn bridge first of all making anyone go to brooklyn is just you're speaking as a former heart yes absolutely i i guess from what i hear david i can bring himself pitch the steve can't hear that you know what treat him like just talent exactly he did yes i did hear you pick that but also honey it's called a shade yeah okay it's not the entire drawing right okay give me some nuance did you see the episode where he was flopping around that farmers market yes see that's what if i had only seen that episode i wouldn't watch more either it was devastating that made me so mad and i was like and he is i just feel like steve is just like a good man who've been out here trying his best and like

petite man yes and i just felt like they did him so wrong i just felt like miranda what well they tried to they tried to play the audience by making us think he forgot how to finger her i mean also i'm sorry they also wanted me to think that it was not attractive because you know they're in the kitchen and he's like what and then he like goes to wash his hands and you can tell that miranda's like make it sexy i said absolutely not if there's anything i love after three years ago but it's hand hygiene i want you taking the full 20 seconds yes you're gonna go into a mucous membrane of mine chicken wing fingers thank you it's a yeast infection waited to happen i was like there's nothing hotter than a hand wash to me yeah yeah and they tried to make it seem like and then she gave him all of like 12 seconds and i was like forget it and i just said honey well che fingers me with weed resin on their fingers

disgusting oh god don't you hate that for a lot of people che diaz is their introduction to stand-up comedy there are people who think that like that's what comedy is change evolve grow oh when's your next comedy concert i have a huge comedy concert happening it's also a pilot and it's uh and i'm throwing a big party about it where i have a rehearsed music number you should come it's in the basement of bowery ballroom i couldn't believe it it was detached magritte surreal it was surreal to watch what happened oh my god i am not a pipe you know what i think is they need to bring steve back for the second season and miranda needs to be having a tough time with che and then steve is there like because i don't know like they have like a thing to go through with their son and steve brings his smoke show hot new girlfriend played by naomi and they are extended sex scenes where he's laying the pipe

thank you that would be the dream and i would say who how did i get you on sale you know what i mean you're getting you getting him on a rack and i just said you know what steve you are it all of a sudden he's fluent in sex again he forgot like it was speaking spanish he was like oh i forgot to do with that and like he's like acting like his fingers he hasn't used them in years oh my god he forgot a finger he forgot he did not forget she didn't give him time to figure out what was what put your panties down pull your pants down you just gonna tell me to put a hand in the front and i'm just gonna know where everything is that ain't how it works no and of course it's gonna be unsexy you just did the dishes also enough for nothing miranda maybe it's you okay you suck thank you who's corny for miranda you dm me three months ago i don't check my dms you gotta jam me again miranda it's nasty she thinks she's

always right she's annoying oh whatever we can we can talk about this all night but you know something about the rational viewers character blowing up her life like this is sort of i don't know a big a big swing that is as big a swing as killing off big which you which you have to respect i mean if they were gonna come back i guess they had to do a lot with it and they certainly didn't like we said it was a perfect season of television and we highly await anticipate the second season the finale was the finale is gonna it's gonna leave you in a good mood you're gonna you're gonna love the way you look okay okay yeah you guarantee it guarantee it okay listen this was again a perfect episode and uh netflix's on naomi is here and she was um an absolute joy to have as always and this is your third time and this makes you a legend this makes me a triple threat actually three last couple three and we actually have an

announcement naomi we would like to give you an award it's a prestigious last coach racist award and it's the last culture award past recipients have included pat regan rachel wow annie donnelly and now you you are in the hall of fame that is that's only the only hall of fame i want to be in thank you so much and it's just been an honor to grow with you thank you you're actually now ineligible for all other hall of fames so it's good that you said that okay well exactly thank goodness thank goodness it all works out remember that time i uh texted you matt and said i want to win whatever like you were doing like a top 100 or like something like one of the lists right yeah i want to win put me on the list yeah the not

you like a certificate available we won't but either way you do win stand by stand by well this was a perfect episode like we said what an incredible time and we end every episode with this song sometimes i run sometimes i hide sometimes i'm scared of you and all i really want is to hold you tight treat you bye be with you day and night baby all i need is

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in ""Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)"?

In order: 0:00 Omicron, Jared Frieder, Meryl Streep; 10:00 Broad City; 30:00 Amy Fisher, Gilded Age, I Love That For You, Kristen Davis; 40:00 Broad City; 50:00 Broad City; 1:00:00 Calvin Klein; 1:10:00 Bowery Ballroom, Mexico City.

What is mentioned in this Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Calvin Klein, Broad City, Omicron, Meryl Streep, Jared Frieder, Gilded Age. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is ""Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)"?

The episode runs 1 h 24 min; the transcript is about 18,435 words in 101 timestamped sections.

More from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.