Transcript

Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things

From Last Podcast On The Left · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 19 min · 14,520 words · 329 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things", an episode of Last Podcast On The Left published December 25, 2025 (1 h 19 min, about 14,520 words). It mentions 129 people, works and ideas, including Tatiana, The Fall of Saigon, San Francisco Zoo, Operation Frequent Wind, Marcus Parks.

What this episode is about

The content humorously revolves around a festive Christmas celebration filled with playful banter among friends about unconventional holiday themes, including a comedic portrayal of Mrs. Claus and imaginative discussions about holiday attire and traditions. The tone is light and irreverent, offering a blend of laughter and absurdity as the hosts engage in lively exchanges about their favorite aspects of the Christmas season.

Key takeaways

  • Mrs. Claus gets a risqué makeover; who knew holiday spirit came with a dash of cheekiness?
  • Pagan Santa and Father Weedness – December fashion never looked this green; marijuana-infused Christmas, anyone?
  • Dirty Polkas are making a comeback; obscurity’s last laugh before Christmas dances with nostalgia.
  • Christmas tales sans cynicism shine brighter; dead fathers can officially stop haunting holiday cheer.
  • Nothing says festive like the Fall of Saigon; historical chaos becomes unlikely yuletide tradition.

Who speaks in this episode?

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: South Vietnam, Vietnam, Saigon, South Vietnamese
  2. – 20:00: Saigon, Vietnam, The Fall of Saigon, A Christmas Carol
  3. – 30:00: Tatiana, Tatiana, San Francisco, San Francisco Zoo
  4. – 40:00: Tatiana, Tatiana, San Francisco Zoo, The San Francisco Zoo
  5. – 50:00: Tatiana, Tatiana, San Francisco Zoo, The San Francisco Zoo
  6. – 1:00:00: Wenceslaus I, Good King Wenceslaus, Good King Wenceslas, St. Wenceslas
  7. – 1:10:00: Wenceslaus I, Kexsburg, Bohemia, Boleslaus I
  8. – 1:18:41: YouTube, Tatiana, Kexsburg, Tatiana

Notable quotes from "Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things"

  • Welcome to the last podcast of the lab, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the poker king of Los Angeles, Henry Zabrowski.
    about Marcus Parks · at
  • Military forces in defeat from South Vietnam 2 years before the fall of Saigon. But they still had a presence in country in the form of bureaucratic officials and intelligence…
    about Saigon · at
  • Our ambassador, Graham Martin, who's going to play a massive role in all this, was continually promising that we would eventually resume bombing in the North. Don't worry, the B-52s are coming.
    about Graham Martin · at
  • The operation frequent wind distributed a 15page booklet to Vietnamese collaborators that included locations for people to assemble for helicopter evacuation along with the code that.
    about Operation Frequent Wind · at
  • And that is the story of White Christmas and the Fall of Saigon.
    about The Fall of Saigon · at
  • The sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?
    about Tatiana · at
  • Carlos Soua Jr.'s family also sued the zoo and won an undisclosed amount.
    about Carlos Souza Jr. · at
  • King wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the…
    about Good King Wenceslas · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Marcus Parks — Person · Host · 1 mention · first at
    Introduces and narrates segments; moderates discussion of the stories and provides transitions and commentary throughout the episode.
  • Tatiana the Tiger — Person · Duplicate/more specific mention of Tatiana (animal); central figure in zoo incident story · 3 mentions · first at
    Explicit full label for the tiger; anchors the entire San Francisco Zoo segment and its victims/aftermath.
    The sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?
  • Graham Martin — Person · Referenced official · 2 mentions · first at
    Specifically named U.S. Ambassador to South Vietnam during the fall of Saigon; central to the discussion of delayed evacuation decisions.
  • Wenceslaus I — Person · Historical Figure · 8 mentions · first at
    Subject of the story about the historical context behind the song 'Good King Wenceslaus'.
    Yeah, that song of course is good king Wineslus.
  • Ambassador Martin — Person · Referenced official · 7 mentions · first at
    Ambassador Martin (Graham Martin) is portrayed as the US ambassador to South Vietnam whose delay in ordering evacuations contributed to catastrophic outcomes at the Fall of Saigon.
    Our ambassador, Graham Martin, who's going to play a massive role in all this, was continually promising that we would eventually resume bombing in the North. Don't worry, the B-52s are coming.
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · Victim in case story · 4 mentions · first at
    Teen killed during the 2007 San Francisco Zoo tiger escape/attack described in Ed’s segment.
  • Irving Berlin — Person · Referenced songwriter · 3 mentions · first at
    Identified as the composer of 'White Christmas' and the personal tragedy behind the song's melancholic tone; provides backstory to the song used in Saigon's evacuation.
    Now, White Christmas itself actually has a dark history all its own.
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · Victim in the San Francisco Zoo incident · 2 mentions · first at
    Teen killed during Tatiana’s escape/attack; his death anchors the severity of the story and later lawsuits.
    The sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?
  • Good King Wenceslas — Person · Legendary/historical figure referenced via carol · 2 mentions · first at
    Central figure in Marcus’s second Christmas-song segment; discussed as a real medieval Bohemian ruler later mythologized in the carol.
    The Saint Wesless was the first saint of Bohemia and therefore the first Czech to achieve worldwide fame. First ever famous Czech.
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · Victim in San Francisco Zoo story · 1 mention · first at
    Teen killed during Tatiana's 2007 escape/attack; his death anchors the stakes and aftermath (lawsuits, police response).
    The sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?
  • Lorie Kajan — Person · Injured zoo trainer / referenced victim · 1 mention · first at
    Tatiana mauled Lorie (trainer) in a 2006 incident; her injury, recovery, and later lawsuit are discussed as part of accountability and safety narrative.
    Oh. An experienced trainer, Lorie Komaan, was performing a public feeding with all the big cats in a room called the Lion House. And pretty soon, she'd be lying on the floor screaming, The.
  • South Vietnamese — Person · Referenced group · 7 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in the context of the Vietnam War and the Fall of Saigon.
    Eventually, though, even the most optimistic of officials had to admit that the North Vietnamese were going to take Saigon and soon. So, US agencies were ordered to make lists…
  • John Mason Neill — Person · Author of carol (referenced) · 4 mentions
    Identified as the 19th-century priest who wrote the lyrics to 'Good King Wenceslas' and popularized the carol; central to the carol history segment.
    King wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the…
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · Victim in case story · 3 mentions · first at
    Named as the teenager killed in the 2007 San Francisco Zoo tiger attack; key factual anchor in Ed's segment.
    Carlos Soua Jr.'s family also sued the zoo and won an undisclosed amount.
  • Kulbeir Dalawal — Person · Survivor/victim in the San Francisco Zoo incident · 3 mentions · first at
    One of the brothers mauled by Tatiana; central to the 911 call and the narrative of the attack sequence.
    The eldest of the boys, Colbeer, was the first to be attacked by Tatiana. Carlos Souza, who was the youngest, then began to scream at Tatiana and tried to free Col. And it worked. But then she was.
  • Henry Zabrowski — Person · Co-host · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears as co-host/panelist contributing to comedic banter; referenced as 'poker king of Los Angeles' in introduction.
    Welcome to the last podcast of the lab, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the poker king of Los Angeles, Henry Zabrowski.
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · Victim in zoo incident story · 2 mentions · first at
    Named as the teenager killed during Tatiana the Tiger's 2007 escape at the San Francisco Zoo.
    The eldest of the boys, Colbeer, was the first to be attacked by Tatiana. Carlos Souza, who was the youngest, then began to scream at Tatiana and tried to free Col. And it worked. But then she was free to attack poor Carlos.
  • St. Wenceslas — Person · Historical/saintly figure; subject of carol explanation · 2 mentions · first at
    Explained as the real historical basis behind "Good King Wenceslas" and used to discuss medieval sainthood narratives.
    The Saint Wesless was the first saint of Bohemia and therefore the first Czech to achieve worldwide fame. First ever famous Czech.
  • Tennessee Ernie Ford — Person · Referenced performer (version used) · 1 mention · first at
    Cited as the performer whose version of 'White Christmas' was used as the signaling song during Operation Frequent Wind because the DJ did not have Bing Crosby's recording.
    Oh, yeah. That is Bing Crosby. However, the DJ did not have the Bing Crosby version on hand. so he used the Tennessee Ernie Ford version. And Tennessee Ernie Ford, of course, best known for singing you got 16 tons,.
  • Vietnamese People — Person · Refers to a group of individuals from Vietnam · 1 mention
    Clarifies the ambiguous reference to the Vietnamese
    Eventually, though, even the most optimistic of officials had to admit that the North Vietnamese were going to take Saigon and soon. So, US agencies were ordered to make lists…
  • John Mason Neil — Person · Author · 3 mentions · first at
    Writer of the song 'Good King Wenceslaus', discussed in the episode.
    King wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the…
  • Frank Snep — Person · Agent · 2 mentions · first at
    CIA agent involved in the evacuation of Saigon, discussed in the episode.
    Yeah. And indeed, Frank Snap of the CIA later said that when the evacuation finally happened and the helicopters began flying into the US embassy, the strings of White Christmas playing on.
  • Ludm Miller — Person · Referenced historical figure (name variant) · 2 mentions · first at
    Refers to Saint Ludmila, Wenceslas's grandmother and regent, described as a Christian influence and later executed.
    Since Weslas was only 14 years old and too young to take over his father's dukeom, his grandmother, Ludm Miller, stepped in as regent until Weslus came of age.
  • Boleslaus I — Person · Historical Figure · 2 mentions · first at
    Brother of Wenceslaus I, involved in his murder, discussed in the episode.
    Now, Winsorless only made it to the age of 28, and that was due to his younger brother Bolaslouse.
  • James Romansky — Person · Primary witness (Kexsburg poem origin) · 2 mentions · first at
    Named as the individual whose account inspired the poem/story of the Kexsburg UFO incident shared in the episode.
    But now, there are distinct things we know about the story, but they only came from one person, a person by the name of James Romansky.
  • Henry Kissinger — Person · Referenced government official · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as Secretary of State shaping U.S. thinking about a possible Vietnam stalemate after troop withdrawal.
    Secretary of State Henry Kissinger thought that maybe the South could simply hold off the North Vietnamese without the American military long enough to produce a stalemate, which.
  • Duke Vatislaus — Person · Historical figure (Wenceslas's father); name variant · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned as Wenceslas's father in the episode's retelling; corresponds to Vratislaus I, Duke of Bohemia.
    Now, Duke Vatislaus died in battle while invading Hungary in the year 921 AD. But since Weslas was only 14 years old and too young to take over his father's dukeom, his grandmother, Ludm Miller,.
  • Dreira — Person · Referenced historical figure (name variant) · 2 mentions · first at
    Refers to Drahomíra, Wenceslas's mother in the legend, portrayed as pagan and antagonist to Ludmila.
    Weslaus's mother, however, was a pagan princess named Dreira, who supposedly converted to Christianity when she married Duke Vatislouse. It was rumored, however, that Dreira converted.
  • Count Radislas — Person · Legendary antagonist in hagiography · 2 mentions · first at
    Appears in the saint legend as an invading count defeated via angelic intervention and spared by Wenceslaus.
    One of the miracles that secured Winslas's saintthood. According to legend, Count Radislas of Guruma was so into that. I loved saying evil name Count Rodislos of Gurima.
  • Nwin Vanu — Person · Mis-typed referenced political leader · 1 mention · first at
    Appears to refer to South Vietnam's president during the Fall of Saigon period; name is garbled in transcript.
    North and the South. Now, unfortunately for the collaborators in South Vietnam, their president, Nwin Vanu, was far too trusting of Ambassador Martin's unrealistically…
  • Jimmy Hendrix — Person · Referenced musician (name variant) · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned jokingly in the Vietnam War discussion; appears to be a misspelling/variant of Jimi Hendrix.
    It was never going well, dude. Except for [ __ ] Jimmyi Hendrickx. Yeah, he was doing great.
  • Oscar Peterson — Person · Referenced cultural note / contextual anchor · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in passing as a recently deceased jazz great at the time of the Tatiana incident (hosts note the world was mourning him).
    Dollars. A year and a couple days later, Tatiana would strike again. 2007, Christmas Day, the world would still be mourning the death of jazz great Oscar Peterson.
  • Jimmy Hendricks — Person · Referenced musician (name variant) · 1 mention · first at
    Used as a comedic aside during Vietnam discussion; appears to be a mistaken/variant reference to Jimi Hendrix.
    Maybe this wasn't all for nothing. Maybe all these Americans didn't die for nothing. Jimmy Hendris. You see, we did good. Great soundtrack in a way. Charles Manson. We got Apocalypse Now about it.
  • Paul Dalawal — Person · 12 mentions
  • Saint Wenceslaus — Person · 10 mentions
  • Saint Ludmila — Person · 7 mentions
  • Boleslaus the Cruel — Person · 6 mentions
  • Drahomíra — Person · 6 mentions
  • Carlos Souza Jr. — Person · 5 mentions
  • Tony the Tiger — Person · 4 mentions · first at
    I know. It's the first. I know. Tony the tiger.

Books & papers

  • A Christmas Carol — Book · Referenced work · 6 mentions · first at
    The song 'White Christmas' was used as a signal for evacuation during Operation Frequent Wind in Vietnam.
    The code was the temperature in Saigon is 105° and rising. After that, the DJ on Armed Forces Radio would play the signaling song, which was White Christmas. OH,.
  • Good King Wenceslas — Book · Referenced carol / cultural item · 4 mentions
    The carol 'Good King Wenceslas' (song) and its 19th-century authorship are discussed; the episode examines the historical St. Wenceslas behind the carol.
    King wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the…
  • The Kexburg UFO Incident — Book · Referenced Work · 1 mention · first at
    Book referenced in the episode about the Kexburg UFO incident.
    Now, this is the story of the Kexsburg UFO incident. Oh, there is a book though that I did base this on. It was called The Kexsburg UFO Incident by George Duing.
  • The Keksburg UFO Incident — Book · 2 mentions

Companies & orgs

  • The San Francisco Zoo — Company · Setting · 7 mentions · first at
    Primary location for the story about Tatiana the tiger's escape and attack.
    And then just as around closing time, the sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder…
  • Denver Zoo — Company · Organization · 1 mention · first at
    Original home of Tatiana the tiger, discussed in the episode.
    Tatiana was a Siberian tiger born in captivity at the Denver Zoo June 27th, 2003. And then at 2 and 1/2 years old, was sold into sexual slavery to the San Francisco Zoo in 2005…
  • San Francisco Zoo — Company · 7 mentions · first at
    No, it was a beautiful low50s Christmas holiday. Laughter and joy filled the San Francisco Zoo as families celebrated by gawking at lemurs, hippos, and grizzly bears. Put an otter in the manger. The boys said, Make.
  • American Embassy — Company · 3 mentions · first at
    Country in the form of bureaucratic officials and intelligence officers mostly based in the American embassy in the South Vietnamese capital of Saigon.
  • Armed Forces Radio — Company · 2 mentions · first at
    For people to assemble for helicopter evacuation along with the code that would be broadcast by armed forces radio that would signal evacuation. How to tell the difference between a fart and a shark. Know your enemy.
  • Denver Zoo — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Tatiana was a Siberian tiger born in captivity at the Denver Zoo June 27th, 2003. And then at 2 and 1/2 years old, was sold into sexual slavery to the San Francisco Zoo in 2005 to be a concubine for an older gentleman, a 14-year-old.
  • San Francisco Gate — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Tatiana grabbed her left hand and then her right arm when she tried to pull her hand away. A witness told the San Francisco Gate magazine that Tatiana ate her hand and then slowly started to eat the rest of her arm.
  • San Diego Zoo — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah. You're not going to be the s you're not going to San Diego Zoo anytime soon.
  • Montfort Academy — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah, it I don't know exactly. It's the Montfort Academy Latin club, I believe.
  • Greensburg Tribune-Review — Company · 1 mention · first at
    So widely seen that it was reported on in the local newspaper, the Greensburg Tribune Review. They reported the area where the object landed was immediately sealed off on the…

Products & tech

  • YouTube — Product · Platform · 3 mentions · first at
    Platform mentioned for watching content related to the episode.
    Yeah, there's a whole National Geographic channel. Watch one of those weird things. when Asian tourists just film a bunch of stuff with their iPad, find one of those.

Concepts & topics

  • Good King Wenceslas — Concept · Core topic · 20 mentions
    The song 'Good King Wenceslas' is discussed in the context of its historical roots and the story of Saint Wenceslas.
  • The United States — Country · Refers to the nation involved in the Vietnam War · 2 mentions · first at
    Correctly identifies the entity as a country rather than a company
    Christmas tree up to the last helicopter leaving. Now the United States had withdrawn its military forces in defeat from South Vietnam 2 years before the fall of Saigon. But they still had a presence in country in the form of bureaucratic.
  • Tatiana — Concept · 25 mentions · first at
    The sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?
  • UFO — Concept · 6 mentions
  • Operation Frequent Wind — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Listened to the State Department after having been given no other choice. The evacuation plan was named Operation Frequent Wind, which is, in my opinion, far too humorous of a name for something so serious.
  • Round Table — Concept · 2 mentions · first at
    Cracker wrestling with alligators and then there was famously I talked about this on Round Table. There was a guy who was missing multiple fingers and he was the alligator…
  • UAP — Concept · 2 mentions
  • Holiday Inn — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Because it was written and composed by Irving Berlin for Bing Crosby to sing in the movie Holiday Inn. But the song was actually about the death of Berlin's three-w weekek old son on Christmas Day back in 1928.
  • God Bless America — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Melancholy tune, especially when you compare it to Irving Berlin's other songs like putting on the rits. God bless America. And there's no business like show business like no…
  • There's No Business Like Show Business — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Compare it to Irving Berlin's other songs like putting on the rits. God bless America. And there's no business like show business like no business. I know that business that…
  • Last Days of Vietnam — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    There's a great documentary called Last Days of Vietnam. If you haven't seen it, you got to check it out.
  • Jungle Cruise — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Well, remember when I used to do the Jungle Cruise down in Florida, they would always have at one the stop we would take on the Jungle Cruise was to a little island where they would do cracker wrestling with alligators and.
  • Tiger King — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Yeah it does sound pretty fun but I think the people who have been hurt a lot it seems if I remember from Tiger King you know it's been 5 years now it seems like that the more injuries you have the lower you go until you're And a.
  • The Graduate — Concept · 1 mention · first at
    Mind you, the San Francisco Zoo is very old. It opened in the 1930s, and if you remember, it was featured in The Graduate during the date scene. Yeah.
  • Anglo-Catholicism — Concept · 1 mention
  • Cyrillic alphabet — Concept · 1 mention
  • Puttin' On the Ritz — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

  • The Fall of Saigon — Event · Core historical event · 7 mentions · first at
    Used as historical context for the story about how 'White Christmas' signaled Operation Frequent Wind evacuations; anchors the segment about music intersecting with major events.
  • San Francisco Zoo — Place · Setting / Case study location · 7 mentions · first at
    Venue for the Tatiana incidents discussed at length; the zoo's outdated facilities and management choices are central to the narrative and aftermath described.
    No, it was a beautiful low50s Christmas holiday. Laughter and joy filled the San Francisco Zoo as families celebrated by gawking at lemurs, hippos, and grizzly bears. Put an otter in the manger. The boys said, Make.
  • Operation Frequent Wind — Event · Evacuation operation (case detail) · 2 mentions · first at
    Named U.S. evacuation operation for Saigon; the segment explains the operation's signaling method and context for playing 'White Christmas'.
  • Saigon — Place · Setting · 15 mentions · first at
    Saigon (the South Vietnamese capital) is the geographical setting for the evacuation (Operation Frequent Wind) and the place where 'White Christmas' was used to signal evacuation.
  • White Christmas — Place · Signaling song / Cultural artifact · 6 mentions · first at
    The song 'White Christmas' (played on Armed Forces Radio) was used as the coded signal during Operation Frequent Wind, tying a Christmas standard to a major historical evacuation.
    The code was the temperature in Saigon is 105° and rising. After that, the DJ on Armed Forces Radio would play the signaling song, which was White Christmas. OH,.
  • Vietnam — Place · Setting · 15 mentions · first at
    Country where the Fall of Saigon took place, central to the historical story.
    Christmas tree up to the last helicopter leaving. Now the United States had withdrawn its military forces in defeat from South Vietnam 2 years before the fall of Saigon. But they still had a presence in country in the form of bureaucratic.
  • South Vietnam — Place · Setting · 7 mentions · first at
    Historical entity discussed in the context of the Vietnam War and its fall.
    Christmas tree up to the last helicopter leaving. Now the United States had withdrawn its military forces in defeat from South Vietnam 2 years before the fall of Saigon. But they still had a presence in country in the form of bureaucratic.
  • San Francisco — Place · Setting · 10 mentions · first at
    City where the San Francisco Zoo is located, central to the tiger attack story.
    No, it was a beautiful low50s Christmas holiday. Laughter and joy filled the San Francisco Zoo as families celebrated by gawking at lemurs, hippos, and grizzly bears. Put an otter in the manger. The boys said, Make.
  • Kexsburg UFO Incident — Event · Seasonal oddity story / local legend · 1 mention · first at
    Serves as the third 'favorite things' tale — a Christmas-era UFO sighting/claim from Kexsburg, PA. The hosts present local lore and a poetic retelling.
    On December 9th, 1965, a glowing object traveled over central Pennsylvania and crash landed, quote, outside Kexsburg, which is an hour from Pittsburgh. If you've ever been to central.
  • Kexsburg — Place · Setting · 5 mentions · first at
    Location of the UFO incident discussed in the episode.
    On December 9th, 1965, a glowing object traveled over central Pennsylvania and crash landed, quote, outside Kexsburg, which is an hour from Pittsburgh. If you've ever been to central.
  • Bohemia — Place · Historical Context · 4 mentions · first at
    Region where Wenceslaus I ruled, discussed in the episode.
    The Saint Wesless was the first saint of Bohemia and therefore the first Czech to achieve worldwide fame. First ever famous Czech.
  • Queens — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as one of the most diverse places in the country.
    Houston's the most diverse city in the entire country, except for Queens.
  • Holiday Inn — Place · Referenced film connection · 1 mention · first at
    Referenced as the movie in which 'White Christmas' (written by Irving Berlin) appeared; used to explain the song's origin.
    Well, the reason why it is a sad song is because it was written and composed by Irving Berlin for Bing Crosby to sing in the movie Holiday Inn. But the song was actually about the death of Berlin's three-w weekek old son on Christmas Day.
  • Kexburg UFO Festival — Event · Event · 1 mention · first at
    Annual event celebrating the Kexburg UFO incident, mentioned in the episode.
    Good people of Kexsburg know that something a little bit more mysterious happened that night. Now, they have a UFO festival every year. It happened this year in June. the…
  • California — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at
    Mentioned in passing during the discussion.
    Yeah. and also Houston has the largest Vietnamese population in America.
  • Austin — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    February 28th, Austin, Texas. March 13th, Indianapolis. April 25th, Cincinnati. May 29th, Pittsburgh. Maybe we'll stop by Katsburg.
  • Cincinnati — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    February 28th, Austin, Texas. March 13th, Indianapolis. April 25th, Cincinnati. May 29th, Pittsburgh. Maybe we'll stop by Katsburg.
  • Grand Rapids — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, January 4th, I'm going to be at Oxnard Levity Live with Karolina Hidelgo, Jake Young, Holden.
  • Oklahoma City — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, January 4th, I'm going to be at Oxnard Levity Live with Karolina Hidelgo, Jake Young, Holden McNeely, and Julia John's. Come check us.
  • Tulsa — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, January 4th, I'm going to be at Oxnard Levity Live with Karolina Hidelgo, Jake Young, Holden McNeely, and Julia John's. Come check us.
  • Oxnard — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a location for a live show.
    June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, January 4th, I'm going to be at Oxnard Levity Live with Karolina Hidelgo, Jake…
  • Keksburg, Pennsylvania — Place · 8 mentions
  • Bohemia — Place · 3 mentions · first at
    The Saint Wesless was the first saint of Bohemia and therefore the first Czech to achieve worldwide fame. First ever famous Czech.
  • San Antonio — Place · 1 mention · first at
  • Da Nang — Place · 1 mention
  • Oxnard, California — Place · 1 mention

Media & podcasts

  • Tatiana — Character · Central real-world incident subject (animal) · 25 mentions · first at
    Tatiana is the Siberian tiger whose 2006 and 2007 attacks at the San Francisco Zoo drive one of the episode's main stories and themes about zoo safety and accountability.
  • White Christmas — Media · Historical Context · 6 mentions · first at
    Song used as a signal during the evacuation of Saigon, with a dark history.
    The code was the temperature in Saigon is 105° and rising. After that, the DJ on Armed Forces Radio would play the signaling song, which was White Christmas. OH,.
  • St. Wenceslas — Character · Historical figure / subject of carol · 4 mentions
    Central figure in the song 'Good King Wenceslas' discussed in the episode; the hosts recount the saint's hagiography and how the carol originated.
  • Good King Wenceslaus — Media · Historical Context · 3 mentions · first at
    Christmas song discussed in the episode, with historical roots.
    King wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the…
  • The Last Days of Vietnam — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned as a documentary providing insight into the Fall of Saigon and Operation Frequent Wind.
    There's a great documentary called Last Days of Vietnam. If you haven't seen it, you got to check it out.
  • Last Days of Vietnam — Media · Recommendation · 1 mention · first at
    Documentary recommended in the episode about the Fall of Saigon.
    There's a great documentary called Last Days of Vietnam. If you haven't seen it, you got to check it out.
  • The Graduate — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    The movie 'The Graduate' is mentioned as featuring the San Francisco Zoo.
    Mind you, the San Francisco Zoo is very old. It opened in the 1930s, and if you remember, it was featured in The Graduate during the date scene. Yeah.
  • The Ghost of Tatiana — Media · Referenced work · 1 mention · first at
    Mentioned in the context of the San Francisco Zoo tiger attack.
    Think about it. Think about it. But when I go to San Francisco in February, Wednesday, February 18th, it's going to be a 7:30 p.m. show. But we will be talking about The Ghost of Tatiana with.

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Full transcript with timestamps

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left. That's when the cannibalism started.

What was that? Oh, big Mrs. Claus. She's got them swingers. I just wish he'd show them more. Oh, how we love you, Mrs. When you got them outside, that's how it's not a bore. We love when Mrs. Claus is naked. Everybody loves it. Throw those bras out in the trash. Mrs. Claus naked. Every car running. What a crazy wonderful Christmas bash.

Welcome to the last podcast of the lab, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the poker king of Los Angeles, Henry Zabrowski.

We were talking about this right before we started. Dirty pokas are going to come back.

They are. This the only Well, they can't do anything else but come back. You know

they can remain in obscurity. Yes. Well, and of course, we have the man with the best sweaters in America, Ed Larson. [screaming]

Yeah. Oh, that's right. That's a preview. That's a preview of what you're going to be doing today. [screaming]

You are very You're very much wearing like an outfit that is exactly between the scarecrow and the cowardly lion.

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. I bought this for $30 in the middle of summer and I was so excited to finally put it on my body.

I I would say that like what that is, that's pagan Christmas right there. You look like pagan Santa Claus.

Hell yeah, man. I got matching pants. He does. He does. He looks like a man made out of weed nuggets. This is amazing. But yeah, check out this thing. Oh yeah. Oh, the hood's big enough to go over the headphones.

Wow. You do. You truly look like Father Weedness. Hell yeah, man. I can see you.

[ __ ] what day is IT AGAIN? OH, [ __ ] IT'S THE 26TH. [ __ ] SL going too fast, man.

Are those Mrs. Claus? Hey, Mrs. Claus, get naked. Everybody wants it. You got to listen to the crowd.

It's a lot more melodic. Well, we're continuing our Christmas month. This is actually the first time that we've ever gone the entire month with Christmas themes throughout.

And I have I'm opening myself more to holiday expression. You should. It's fun.

I'm trying. Yeah. And it's really that your father's dead. You can enjoy it. YEAH. KIND OF. IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE THAT. But you know, I feel really good and this is the first time like even I have taken a not so cynical direction at a Christmas tale today.

That's great. That's fant. Yeah. You're not going for anything like let's talk about like how you know butts were usually Christmas things.

Try to improv. See how hard it is. See how [ __ ] difficult my job is different things that butts do. All right. Do you remember when butts were just asses?

How [ __ ] hard my job is? Well, we're trying. We're all trying here. Here. What we're doing for the end of the Christmas season. This is a little idea that we had called our favorite things.

Oh, that's very nice. So, what we're going to do on this episode is each of us is going to take a couple of one, maybe two stories. I got two stories that I brought in. I got one meaty [ __ ]

Yeah. And uh and Henry has one as well. I have a tail as well. But I chose You got to get that removed. By the way,

it's swinging. He just said it's vestigial and it's keeping my pants up. Well, for my favorite things, I chose two music and historical context.

Yay. My two favorite things. So, I got two stories concerning the historical context of two well-known Christmas songs. One story about how a song was used in a massive historical event, and one about the historical context behind the song itself. And so, let's start at the same place we start every Christmas in my household, THE FALL OF SAIGON.

YEAH. HELL YEAH. That's when everyone formed that Christmas tree up to the last helicopter leaving. Now the United States had withdrawn its military forces in defeat from South Vietnam 2 years before the fall of Saigon. But they still had a presence in country in the form of bureaucratic officials and intelligence officers mostly based in the American embassy in the South Vietnamese capital of Saigon.

God damn Saigon. This makes me want to punch a mirror while I'm [snorts] naked.

This is the end. My only friend. The end. [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah. Come on. Yeah. [ __ ] [ __ ] COME ON. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] YEAH.

But since the might of the American military itself was gone by 1975, the North Vietnamese forces were in the process of taking city after city in South Vietnam as a result of the 1975 spring offensive, which was rapidly bringing this war to an end. Now, the arrival of North Vietnamese forces had resulted in widespread panic in every southern city they took because South Vietnamese cities were full of people who had collaborated with the Americans during the war and had also done some pretty bad [ __ ] all on their own.

Does leftover salmon hit the other cities? That's all I can think about. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you should have seen what the string cheese incident was doing in Cambodia.

I don't want to know. I don't want to know about their war crimes. That's how they got their name. Yeah. that one time.

Well, as a result, the invasion of each city created thousands of refugees who were trying to flee retribution at the hands of the North Vietnamese. And there was no city in Vietnam that had more collaborators than Saigon. Now, after the fall of South Vietnam's second largest city, Daang, some American authorities in Saigon figured it would be a good idea maybe start planning evacuations. Planning, however, was half-hearted at best because just like it had been from the very beginning of America's involvement in the conflict, the American officials in charge in Saigon at the end still had an unrealistic view of what was happening in the country.

They thought maybe we'll pull it out. Maybe things will be okay. I even I know now definitely we didn't.

No, it wasn't okay at any point I don't think. No, man. It was never going well, dude. Except for [ __ ] Jimmyi Hendrickx. Yeah, he was doing great.

See, even though the United States had pulled out our troops, we were still telling the South Vietnamese president that we supported them wholeheartedly. Our ambassador, Graham Martin, who's going to play a massive role in all this, was continually promising that we would eventually resume bombing in the North. Don't worry, the B-52s are coming back.

They got to come back, man. They just printed rock lobster. They got to come back. This is huge.

He was also making assurances that America would never abandon South Vietnam. In reality, though, despite Ambassador Martin's optimism, America had already very much abandoned South Vietnam and everything but name only. By April of 1975,

you could kissing your ass goodbye. Yeah. The troops were gone. Military aid had been cut off by Congress. And efforts to clean up the incredibly corrupt South Vietnamese government had collapsed. In fact, America's policy at this point was essentially vague hope. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger thought that maybe the South could simply hold off the North Vietnamese without the American military long enough to produce a stalemate, which would maybe lead to peace between the North and the South. Now, unfortunately for the collaborators in South Vietnam, their president, Nwin Vanu, was far too trusting of Ambassador Martin's unrealistically optimistic promises. As such, President Tu was clinging to the hope that America was going to somehow save them all right at the end, despite God damn it.

Damn. Eat alarm. Got to eat. The rest of us just know when to eat. I have to have alarms.

No, it's good. Honestly, it's good for him because he does need. We're trying to get him more protein. We're keeping this to the show so he remembers to eat from now on cuz he's got to eat.

It's the ADD. It's It's something that's very common. People forget to eat. Don't think about it.

Should we stop? No. Okay. Don't forget. I'll eat later. As such, President Q was clinging to the hope that America was going to somehow save them all right at the end, despite all evidence to the contrary. [snorts] Eventually, though, even the most optimistic of officials had to admit that the North Vietnamese were going to take Saigon and soon. So, US agencies were ordered to make lists of Vietnamese collaborators who would be killed or worse if they were not evacuated.

Where were they going to take it? Um, a lot of Vietnamese ended up in Minnesota.

Oh, yeah. That's why they have truly some of the best Vietnamese food in the entire world. Same thing with Wisconsin.

Yeah. Uh, and also Houston has the largest Vietnamese population in America. I've heard that. I've heard that. There was a bunch in Florida, too.

Houston's the most diverse city in the entire country, except for Queens. Except for Queens.

Yeah. Well, Ambassador Martin, however, never finalized those lists because he, like so many other Americans involved in this conflict, could not accept that Vietnam was going to be a total and complete defeat. Instead, Ambassador Martin clung to the delusion that a ceasefire through diplomatic negotiation was still possible. Because if South Vietnamese continued to exist, then maybe this wasn't all for nothing. Maybe all these Americans didn't die for nothing. Uh, Jimmy Hendris.

You see, we did good. Great soundtrack in a way. Charles Manson. We got Apocalypse Now about it.

Yeah. It's my second favorite movie. See, by midappril, however, a CIA agent in Vietnam, Frank Snep, received word confirming the diplomatic negotiation was never going to happen. The North Vietnamese were going to take Saigon by any means necessary. But again, this agent's report was disregarded at the embassy and sent to Washington DC as a low priority communication. So, Agent Snap convinced two congressional staffers in Saigon to fly back to DC so they could convince their senators to tell President Gerald Ford in person, "Vietnam's [ __ ] We need to do something." And once this was done,

and he went like, Hey, that's my Gerald Ford. Well, I don't know what to do. My beer glasses and big header for dad today for high today.

Who are the Redskins named after? It's from D. It's Dana Carvey show, right? Yeah. Well, no, that was that was it was Saturday Night Live. It was

He was torn apart by a pack of dolls. You're the one that wants to take a vacation. Now, once

once, it's ancient jokes for us. It's for our generation. They know it's dog whistles.

Well, once this was done, Ford could get Ambassador Martin's ass and gear to evacuate as many people as possible before the North Vietnamese took Saigon. But it was far too late. On April 28th, 1975, the American embassy finally listened to the State Department after having been given no other choice. The evacuation plan was named Operation Frequent Wind, which is, in my opinion, far too humorous of a name for something so serious.

No, very much so. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 40y Mc Johnson. Operation 40 MC fart. Yeah. It's a bit It's a bit unserious.

Operation too many farts. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit It's a lot. There's eggs in my pants. operation.

Yeah. It's like, well, sir, now we're just hating facts. We're no longer even naming operations.

So tasty. You're got yolk on your shoes. The operation frequent wind distributed a 15page booklet to Vietnamese collaborators that included locations for people to assemble for helicopter evacuation along with the code that would be broadcast by armed forces radio that would signal evacuation. How to tell the difference between a fart and a shark.

Know your enemy. The code was the temperature in Saigon is 105° and rising. After that, the DJ on Armed Forces Radio would play the signaling song, which was White Christmas. OH,

THAT'S the song that got everybody to leave Vietnam. Yep. Yep. The reason why the DJ chose White Christmas was because he wanted a song that every American would recognize immediately. And playing a Christmas song in April would let everyone know that something was out of the ordinary. Like, I need to pay attention right now. Why are they playing wake Why are they playing White Christmas in April?

That's fascinating. Yeah. And indeed, Frank Snap of the CIA later said that when the evacuation finally happened and the helicopters began flying into the US embassy, the strings of White Christmas playing on the loudspeakers in the midst of it all gave the entire affair a Kofka-esque vibe.

Oh, I can't even imagine that idea of how surreal that he I'm dreaming of as you're just watching the helicopters pull up out of Saigon. The everyone's fighting. They get out of the helicopter. Oh,

did they play it like over and over again or Yeah. Whoa, that's terri. You could have played other Christmas songs.

That be so terrifying. That's Bing Crosby, right? Oh, yeah. That is Bing Crosby. However, uh the DJ did not have the Bing Crosby version uh on hand. Uh so he used the Tennessee Ernie Ford version. And Tennessee Ernie Ford, of course, best known for singing uh you got 16 tons, what do you do? Another day older and deeper in debt St. Peter. Yeah. So on and so forth. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, White Christmas itself actually has a dark history all its own. Definitely. Of course it does.

Well, not it's a sad to me. Obviously, it must have one. Well, the reason why it is a sad song is because it was written and composed by Irving Berlin for Bing Crosby to sing in the movie Holiday Inn. But the song was actually about the death of Berlin's three-w weekek old son on Christmas Day back in 1928.

Irving Berlin, tough time. That's I mean there's more reasons to hate Christmas than just being Jewish.

You know, it's also it's also kind of funny in a way that he transmuted his pain into a Christmas song instead of like, "Would you know my name

if I saw you on Christmas?" You mean like that's like it's kind of nice that he did that. He gave it to Christmas.

Yeah, he did give it to Christmas. And we have this wonderful, beautiful song. And but that is why it's such a melancholy tune, especially when you compare it to Irving Berlin's other songs like putting on the rits. God bless America. And there's no business like show business like no business. I know that business that was that is also a dark song cuz it's about sucking dick for money. That's who that is. It's about It's about a 50-year-old producer is telling you, "Oh, can you do a Chinese accent? Oh, and can you blow me?"

You go, "That was different. It was easier." Show business was easier. Now, Ambassador Martin had waited far too long to order the evacuation of Saigon because by the time he pulled the trigger on White Christmas, the North Vietnamese already had the city surrounded. The only way out of the city was therefore by helicopter. And the most visible place where helicopter evacuations were taking place was the roof of the American embassy. We've all seen the pictures.

Very famous pictures. Yeah. And so when White Christmas began playing, Vietnamese collaborators began gathering outside of the walls of the embassy. And while the mood began as calm, the crowd was getting larger and far more anxious by late afternoon. Before long, 10,000 Vietnamese had gathered, all hoping to get a spot on one of the last choppers out of Saigon.

Yeah. And they're just like pushing on the gates and [ __ ] like that. Oh, yeah.

But Billy Joel, he wasn't there, right? How do you write that song, man? Which song? Pushing on the gates of the embassy at Saigon.

You had a whole song about leaving Saigon. Yeah. Yeah. He loved leaving Saigon. That was one of his favorite things to write about.

I didn't know that. Yeah. It's like say goodbye to Saigon. Sayanara to Saigon, which is kind of racist.

Yeah. [clears throat] What? Good night Saon. Good night, Saigon. Good night, Saigon.

Well, when the waiting became too much to bear, some Vietnamese even tried climbing the walls. But the Marines tasked with crowd control used their rifle butts to knock those people back. And those outside the walls became even more panicked when the North Vietnamese air strikes began. In other words, it became very clear very quickly that if you didn't get out on an American helicopter, it was likely you weren't getting out of Saigon at all. And so, because of Ambassador Martin's delusional inaction, some 70 CIA translators and their families didn't even make it past the walls of the embassy. Had the evacuation started weeks before when the CIA said, "Time to go." Everyone could have been saved easily. Instead, some of those collaborators died horrific deaths because Ambassador Martin waited too long. One woman, for example, was tied to a tree by the North Vietnamese and had her tongue cut out. She died after

drowning in her own blood. Dreaming of a Christmas. Yeah. I mean, we've also seen all the video footage like they were having to evacuate people so quickly that and the aircraft carriers just offshore, they're pushing helicopters into the water just to make room for more people.

There's a great documentary called Last Days of Vietnam. If you haven't seen it, you got to check it out.

It's incredible. Yeah. Ambassador Graham Martin, however, later defended his role, saying that he had done quote a hell of a job during the fall of Saigon. You could have just said the best I could.

No. Yeah. You been like, "I'm trying, guys." He had to go hardcore. Now, I did a hell OF A JOB. I DID I did a good job.

YOU LIKED WHAT I DID. EVERYBODY liked the aftermath. Rehire me. And they did. And that is the story of White Christmas and the Fall of Saigon.

Fascinating. It is very fascinating. Live from your grave. And we'll we'll get to the other one here in a bit. But before that, Ed has a Christmas story about one of his favorite things.

Well, let's fast forward all the way to December 25th, 2007. Yeah, good year. No, it was a beautiful low50s Christmas holiday. Laughter and joy filled the San Francisco Zoo as families celebrated by gawking at lemurs, hippos, and grizzly bears. Put an otter in the manger. The boys said, "Make make the rhino Santa Claus the children house." And they're just like, "Just shut up, kids. You don't run the zoo. Shut up, kids. Stop giving us free ideas. All right. They're animals."

And then just as around closing time, the sun was setting behind the gorilla preserve. Horror struck the San Francisco Zoo and Tatiana the Tiger escaped her enclosure to murder teenager Carlos Soua Jr. and Maim brothers Paul and Kulbeir Dalawal. Now who's the villain here?

We'll get to it. But Carlos Souza was he related to John Phipe Soua? No, no, no, no. This is from the San Francisco uh ruffian Souas.

Not not marching band royalty soua. No, no, no, no, no, no. And then ultimately, poor Tatiana was shot dead by police in front of a hamburger stand. Christmas tale is old as tiger.

What an ironic ironic death for a tiger to see all the free cooked hamburger meat in its eyes as it dies. It's going.

Well, the story is not that simple, though. So, let's examine what led to the gruesome attack and who may have been at fault and how we're making sure something like this never happens again. Tatiana was a Siberian tiger born in captivity at the Denver Zoo June 27th, 2003. And then at 2 and 1/2 years old, was sold into sexual slavery to the San Francisco Zoo in 2005 to be a concubine for an older gentleman, a 14-year-old male tiger named Tony. And she was all like "Great.

Siberian stupid. I'm angry. I'm angry at you. Get a better name for the tiger than Tony. You know how you can there's so many names you can give a tiger.

It's the first one. I know. It's the first. I know. Tony the tiger. I think the first one was like ah, you know." Well, Siberian tigers are a subspecies of tiger from, as you could have probably guessed, the Siberian region of Russia, uh, northeastern China and areas of North Korea. In the early to mid 1900s, Siberian tigers were hunted and captured to near extinction. At one point, it is thought that only 30 were left in the wild. Right now, it's believed that that number is up to around 500, which is an improvement, but they're still very much endangered.

I mean, it's hard in Siberia. It really is. I don't know how they I don't know how they have jobs.

Oh, and well, 20th century Russians would hunt this animal for sport and fur mostly, but would also capture and sell these animals to zoos and circuses around the world.

Males, and what we knew about circuses for a long time, they'd have to get like 20 of an animal to get one living one back.

Yeah. Well, they would always they would usually send pups to circuses so they could be trained better and like not understand that they could be free and killed. Um, males um can male Siberian tiger can get up to 10 feet long and weigh over 400 lb. The largest ever has been, I think, over seven. Um, females are usually around 300 lb. But Tatiana, our tiger in question, was a trim, athletic gal with a great body, weighing 260 lb. She was hot. Her tiger breast could barely hold the stripes, if you know what I'm saying.

I think you're objectifying this woman. I think you're objectifying her. Yeah. And I don't.

Yes. And a different life. She could have been a cheerleader for the Bengals. But alas, her fate was sealed to die like Harvey Milk filled with bullets in a city by the bay.

Did the police who kill her also use the Twinkie defense? I had too many donuts. It's the sugar. But before we get to the bloody Christmas of 2007, let's talk about an incident that happened one year earlier, December 22nd, 2006, just 3 days before James Brown died.

Oh. An experienced trainer, Lorie Komaan, was performing a public feeding with all the big cats in a room called the Lion House. And pretty soon, she'd be lying on the floor screaming, "The big cat in pain." Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The big cat feeding was a very popular daily event. Lori had been with the zoo for over 10 years and at this point was known as the carnivore chick amongst the staff. She always did this. You know, she was very she was the best at it. The tigers and lions would be loaded into the cages individually and fed raw steaks and hamburger meat through a small slit in the bottom of the front door of the cage so the public may watch in awe. On this day, while feeding Tatiana, Lorie dropped a piece of meat between the swinging feeding door and the drain. She reached down to pick up the meat, and that's when Tatiana struck.

Tatiana grabbed her left hand and then her right arm when she tried to pull her hand away. A witness told the San Francisco Gate magazine that Tatiana ate her hand and then slowly started to eat the rest of her arm.

Wow. Cuz it's feeding time. Yeah. It was hungry. Yeah. And it's taken its time with

Oh, yeah. Three men jumped in and grabbed Lorie and pulled her away from Tatiana. But this didn't work. Tatiana only pulled on Lor's arm harder, almost like it was a game.

Yeah. And she didn't release Lorie until another zoo employee started to beat her in the skull with a metal pole.

Yeah. Once Lorie was free, another witness was quoted in saying, "I think most of her right arm doesn't exist anymore."

Yeah. [ __ ] yeah. I love that guy. What was left hanging was in strings. The tiger did not eat it in a clean way.

This guy loves giving bad news. Like that guy couldn't wait. No, let me tell you so many different ways I could describe it. You know how I'm going to describe it? A chandelier made out of gore. Yeah, that's what she was. She was just a bunch of coal slaw filled with blood. Love to see it. And just so you know, the tiger could have done a better job eating. It didn't. It actually it did it.

It cut corners. It was real messy. It could have honestly irresponsible. It was an irresponsible way to do it.

Well, Lori was rushed to the hospital and doctors did the best that they could. Uh they were able to reattach part of the hand and a couple of skin grafts later she regained some arm function. Um but it never really regained full function. And this is how it looks today. There it is. That's her. That's the arm right there hanging. Her right arm right there. That's an after the Tigers.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's not in great shape. Not in great shape, but it's it's You still got it. And if you're a tiger person, doesn't that kind of like

show how awesome you are? If you've been Well, I I think it shows how bad you are.

I actually But is that true or not? Like I That's a good one for side stories. lpotl@gmail.com. Like she was set up for disaster in my opinion. No, I'm just mean like does scars and missing parts make you a more soughtafter animal handler or less? Well, remember when I used to do the Jungle Cruise um down in Florida, they would always have at one the stop we would take on the Jungle Cruise was to a little island where they would do cracker wrestling with alligators and then there was famously I talked about this on Round Table. There was a guy who was missing multiple fingers and he was the alligator wrestler and then he like would get work us up into a frenzy while he's in the alligator pit yelling alligator bit it alligator bit it and then we'd all start cheering alligator bit it alligator bit it and then he'd jump on an alligator and start wrestling and [ __ ]

yeah it's fun blast yeah it does sound pretty fun but I think the people who have been hurt a lot it seems if I remember from Tiger King you know it's been 5 years now it seems like that the more injuries you have the lower you go until you're And a uh

Yeah. You're not going to be the s you're not going to San Diego Zoo anytime soon.

No, no, no. Those if you have a lot you go to the Tuscaloosa Rhino Roundup. Yeah.

It's a lot harder to feed tigers when you only have one hand. Yeah. Yeah. And then speaking of round table, you're at one point you end up up at Honk for Zoo.

Yes. Well, Lori was just as kind as she was delicious. So, her and the zoo decided to not euthanize Tatiana after this incident. OSHA though fined the zoo $18,000 and made them close and refortify the lion house, ultimately costing the zoo a quarter of a million dollars. A year and a couple days later, Tatiana would strike again. 2007, Christmas Day, the world would still be mourning the death of jazz great Oscar Peterson.

Yeah, we were none of us were over that yet. I still kind of dealing with it. I'm actually a massive Oscar Peterson fan. Uh when Paul and Kir Dalawal and Carlos Souo were coping with the news, they were doing it by don't we all do old Buradin and that's getting hammered and going to the zoo.

When my favorite jazz guy dies, the first thing I do is I get a pine of liquor. I go straight to the zoo and that night train all over there.

I do that liquor in the parking lot, too. Oh, and I believe freshly drunk. Yeah, these boys were very drunk, visibly drunk, causing a ruckus all around the zoo the entire day and they were like smoking weed in the parking lot and [ __ ] Other visitors noticed that these young men were very intoxicated and trapesing around the zoo causing a scene. Just before closing, one witness saw them yelling and roaring at the lions. Then things turned up a little bit when they got to the Siberian tiger exhibit. Some other zoo goers saw them yelling and taunting the tigers as well.

And when they left, uh, they were still doing that. They basically yelled at the Tigers long enough for everyone to be like, "Let's just get out of here.

These guys are buming me out." Yeah. So, at this time, it's not 100% known exactly what happened because the surviving men of this drunken posi refused to cooperate with the police and investigators even to this day. What is the most likely story though through evidence and investigation is that these men were taunting the tigers and throwing pine cones at them. You [ __ ] even think of doing that in my [ __ ] town.

Don't throw pine cones at a tiger. Come on. But guess what? You get exactly what you deserve.

You do. They're pretty sure one of them even jumped the barrier and dangled his leg over the enclosure. They denied that this happened, but a shoe print matching one of them was found on top of the fence.

Yeah. Mind you, the San Francisco Zoo is very old. It opened in the 1930s, and if you remember, it was featured in The Graduate during the date scene. Yeah. Uh, so it's an outdated zoo.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an old ass zoo. Yeah. And they had very little video surveillance. And while it is an AA accredited zoo, the AA has said in most areas they only meet the absolute minimum requirements. But also, for the most part, human beings due to our sort of let's say kind of natural instincts avoid confrontations with large predator cats. Normally we have because of the years, maybe because of the pictures we've seen or just looking at a predator cat. Normally your nervous system will tell you, "Hey, don't [ __ ] with that thing."

And your nervous system is built for that. Like that's why it's why we have the sympathetic nervous system is because of the big cats.

You're supposed to see that thing and go, I'm going to avoid that thing. I'm not going to throw a pine cone at that thing. And so what these guys have taken invention, alcohol, and they have applied that themselves, allowed them to advance beyond the predator cat, which is going to show what biology leads to. Now we're going to see what happens.

And it's not to mention they're 17, 19, and 23. So they're drinking underage. They're hammered. It's Christmas. Like, who knows what they were drinking before. THEY WERE LIKE, "THAT'S ALL GOING TO THE ZOO."

YOU KNOW WHAT I call them? You know what I call those boys? I call them tiger food.

Yeah. You know, I have been in zoo since I was a kid. We should go now. And honestly, the first thing I'm doing, man, we get to that zoo, starting [ __ ] [ __ ] it. So, the tiger enclosure at the San Francisco Zoo, there's an island with a 33 ft moat and what was thought to be a 20ft wall, but after the incident, when the wall was measured, it was actually only 12.5 ft tall. The AA requires a 16 ft wall. So that was under regulation and they were hiding it from everyone cuz they're not going to go measure the wall.

Yeah. Like while the Tigers are in there and stuff like that. So after the drunken rascals felt satisfied giving the tigers the business, they turned their backs and started to walk away. Tatiana saw this as her window for revenge. You see, it's rare for a tiger to attack from the front. They prefer a stealthier attack from behind their victims. Oh yeah.

When you see footage of men in India walking along the tigerinfested forest, they wear masks on the back of their heads to dissuade the tigers from attacking. Tatiana supposedly waited for them to turn their backs, jumped into the bottom of the moat, silently leaped over the 12.5 ft wall from a crouched position. 260 lb animal jumped all the way up 12 feet.

It was angry, stalked the men and pounced. Yeah. The eldest of the boys, Colbeer, was the first to be attacked by Tatiana. Carlos Souza, who was the youngest, then began to scream at Tatiana and tried to free Col. And it worked. But then she was free to attack poor Carlos.

Yeah, got you, Carlos. Tatiana, it's coming for you. Oh, man. It did. Because Tatiana, she went straight for Carlos's neck with her razor sharp claws and and teeth, killing him in that exact spot.

Wow. He's lucky, honestly. Maybe that's fast. You think so? Yeah. We don't know if it was fast.

That's faster than the other guy. Well, in total shock, while Tatiana was murdering Carlos, Paul and Colbeer ran for their lives.

They were like, "OH SHIT." YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS ARE? Guys are awesome, too. They're great help. They're like, "Fuck. Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Oh fuck." Especially after he saved the other one's life.

Yeah. So they left Carlos to fend for himself with Tatiana. Man, he's gone. HE'S [ __ ] DEAD. LEAVE BEHIND, MAN. Leave behind, man.

Oh, [ __ ] We left our booze in the car, man. Tatiana was continuing to maul his lifeless body in front of her sugar daddy, Tony the Tiger. And this would be the last time those two tigers ever saw each other. Let's do

the brothers reached the terrace cafe for help, but since the zoo had just closed, the doors were locked. They were screaming and pounding on the door to be let in. But the employees did not open because they seemed erratic and the workers just thought, "These kids are on drugs. I ain't let them in the goddamn cafe. I don't get paid enough for this [ __ ]

It's Christmas." Yeah. So, they were screaming about how a tiger escaped and killed their friend. The manager of the of the terrace cafe did not believe them.

It's at the zoo. If there was a place where it might happen, it's at the zoo. And if you see people screaming covered in blood, saying, "The tigers are loose. The tigers are loose." You might be like, "These pranksters."

I will say it's an 80-year-old zoo on Christmas and this something like this has never happened there before.

Yeah, but the manager's like, "Yeah, tell me another one." Yeah, I've been there before. Yeah. You said you're going to tell me the penguins have unionized. Well, the manager hadn't been trained in what to do in case of an animal attack because he's only a retail employee. Um, but he did notify security, who

I tell you what all retail employees in zoo should do. Run for your [ __ ] lives and do nothing to help. Literally, if you work for the zoo and you're not an animal trainer, YOU RUN AWAY AND YOU HELP NO ONE.

I mean, it's kind of what happened. Yes. Um he did not he did notify security who was who also did not believe that a tiger escaped and that these brothers were just whacked out on drugs. At one point staff who did not believe them uh that an animal was out called security anyway. And here is that call.

I don't know if they're on drugs or they're screaming about an animal that has um attacked them but there's no animal out. He's talking about a third person and I don't see the third person.

Oh, so is he saying that he was bitten? Okay. Okay. It's an adult male. Is he saying that he was bitten?

Yeah, he's saying that it's adult male. He's in whipped off. He's off drug. Is he saying Is he Is the patient saying that he was bitten by an animal?

He's saying that been by animal, but uh there's no animal escape cuz could this be crazy?

Is he covered in blood? Is he covered in blood? I was just waiting to hear that like in the background and they're going like, "What's that sound? There's something going Someone's playing some kind of cat soundtrack." Well, the reason you didn't hear that is because Tatiana was still just toying with Carlos's corpse, leaving him with blunt force trauma to his head and neck, deep puncture wounds in his head, neck, and chest, fractures to his skull and spine, and his jugular vein ripped out from his neck. She decided the fight was over and began to search for the Dalawal brothers. Then at this juncture, another staff member saw Tatiana walking calmly through the zoo, walking past multiple exhibits, searching for the boys to continue her revenge. She had been following a blood trail that led straight to the injured Kulbeir at the terrace cafe.

Oh yeah, she was stalking them. She wasn't at first they were like, "Oh, maybe she's like eating them because she was hungry." But she didn't eat any of them. She was literally just murdering them.

Yeah. She was coming for [ __ ] Yeah. She was [ __ ] pissed. Yeah. So, after it was confirmed that Tatiana was indeed out, zoo security and animal trainer uh well, even if she is out, I mean, like, whatever. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Well, they called the trained shooter Anthony Brown, who grabbed a shotgun and hopped in his car and drove to the tiger enclosure where he saw Carlos Soua Jr. dead on the ground. He knew he was gone, but he still tried to save him. Being Christmas Day, the zoo was underst staffed and they and everyone who was there went into full panic mode. They had no idea how many tigers had escaped at this point. So until they could locate all of them, they could not send paramedics or security in to help. At a loss of what to do, the boys then called 911. And here is their call.

I'm just going to stay on the line with you until the paramedics are with you. All right.

Okay. Excuse me. Can we check up on them? We'll see where they're at. They're on scene right now, but they have to stage until they're given permission to go inside.

It's come down with a knife and get over that, but at the same time, we have to make sure the paramedics don't get chewed out because if the paramedics get hurt, then nobody's going to help you out here.

Okay, I understand that. Okay, the ambulance is staging. I need you to understand that the ambulance people My bones are here.

Calm down. Sorry, bro. With you. If the paramedics get hurt, they cannot help your brother. So, you need to calm down.

Paramedics. You are going to be the best help for your brother right now. Can you What's going on here? It's been

Okay. I've been on you on the call with you for 8 minutes. I called 10 minutes before 20 minutes.

Okay. I'm trying to explain to you that we have to make sure that we can get inside safely. All right.

How long does it take? I do not know that because I'm not out there right now. But we have specialist three four five six.

Yeah, dude. He's just [ __ ] He's not even doing anything. He's like, "Yeah, buddy. You're inside the zoo. You got the tiger [ __ ] out of there. You're [ __ ] I'm not sending paramedics in there just to get attacked by [ __ ] tigers just cuz you're [ __ ] dumbass and set this whole thing off." So, mind [clears throat] you, remember this is Christmas and for the holiday season, there was an ice ring set up in the zoo close to the terrace cafe. The employee working at the ice ring is the true hero in the story. They heard what was going down over the radio and ran over to the cafe to help the boys. Me, like, this is not a security person.

This is just someone who works in the ice skating. This is a nice person that should again should have ran for the hills.

never help. IF YOU'RE JUST AN EMPLOYEE, YOU RUN. YOU RUN AWAY. SO, when they arrived at the scene, they started to give the boys the best medical attention they could. Unfortunately, this is also when Tatiana arrived. Tatiana wanted to finish the job and started swiping at the boy's legs and had all three of them cornered to the hamburger stand. But, and that's got to be something to have the tiger nut go at the hamburger stand.

Is that just food just sitting there, man? And you got to imagine it's all glass doors. So the employees in the hamburger stand are just like watching.

OH YEAH. AND THEY'RE BETWEEN the tiger and the hamburgers. LIKE THROW THE HAMBURGERS OUTSIDE. THROW THE HAMBURGERS AT IT.

Just whispers like do tigers eat hamburgers. You know that they [ __ ] eat. You remember what happened to Lori when she TRIED TO GIVE THIS TIGER a hamburger?

That was just her hand and it wasn't cooked with delicious onions. See, but here's the thing. Tatiana wasn't a crazed, senseless killer. She was a killer with purpose. In a wild turn of events, Tatiana would not let the Dalaw brothers move away from her. She wanted their lives. But in a moment of tiger clarity, Tatiana knowing she wasn't there to kill the Ice Ring employee, let her leave the altercation almost to say, "My beef ain't with you, big dog.

My fight ain't with you. my fights with Dam. She's like, "Kill those boys." Yeah, it's kind of exactly what happened.

Just go ahead and you just you kill those boys. All right. So, now it's 20 minutes after closing and police were finally allowed to enter the zoo driving in their police cruisers. First, they arrived at Carlos to double check that he was dead and he was in fact still dead.

Yeah, honestly, he's at more of a he's he's at a well done. And then to the terrace cafe where Tatiana was absolutely ripping these boys to shreds. Police were at a loss of what to do. They pulled their weapons, but they were scared to shoot because she was currently doing her best to kill these boys. And the cops didn't want to accidentally shoot them. So the cops created a distraction.

She probably would have [ __ ] just ended their their horrific pain. You probably should just shot him in the head and take him out

at that point. Grenade. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Well, the cops decided to create a distraction by turning on their patrol lights and Tatiana stopped attacking for a moment and then just sat at the boy's feet staring at them as they bled out

because it is after all a cat. You know, the cats still like they all act pretty much the same way.

The same about the size. They should have just had A LASER POINTER. THAT'S WHEN THE That's when police officer Chris Oshida fired a first shot into Tatiana's chest. Tatiana knew that this was the end and did what any rational tiger would do in this situation. Suicide by cop.

Yeah. She charged the police officers and officer Oshida was all like, "Oh shitta, I got to KILL THIS [ __ ] TIGER."

Then he put another bullet in her chest as she charged even faster. And then he put a bullet in her pretty little tiger brain.

No. And she died there in the glow of police lights and a dipping dots machine.

The other cops were there. If only there were three other cops there and they were right not to fire when she was attacking the boys because they fired 11 shots and missed every single one of them.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's a tiger, man. It's standing there. It's a huge animal.

Yeah. And they don't have ri They've got pistols, you know, like shoot. You could you It's a big ass thing.

Yeah. You could shoot at it. Yeah. Well, Officer Oshida said later, "I've never personally seen a tiger m a human in my life." And that's something I will never forget. He was awarded the Medal of Valor. The Dollywall brothers were taken to the hospital with deep wounds in their heads, necks, arms, and hands. They were kept in the hospital for several days and attended Carlos's funeral the next week, still bandaged all over the bodies. The emergency room doctor at the time was like bragging. He's like, "Yeah, we saved their [ __ ] lives."

Yeah, of course he should. To be honest, they all should. Do they not have to pay any of this back? I bet like do they have to pay for anything? What punishment do these idiots get?

You'll see in the aftermath. Everyone was trying to figure out what happened. At first, it was thought that maybe someone let Tatiana out of her cage and then maybe Kir was dangling his foot over the wall and she used his leg to climb up. Since tigers had been in this enclosure for half a century without ever getting out, everyone was just scratching their heads. Remember, the Dollywall brothers refused to ever cooperate with any investigation. They claimed that they did nothing wrong, but no one believes that. They claimed to have never provoked the tiger by throwing anything inside the enclosure, even though pine cones were found inside and the pine tree was far enough from the enclosure that they could have not fell on there on their own. The Dolly Walls, in turn, sued the San Francisco Zoo and were awarded $800,000.

Carlos Soua Jr.'s family also sued the zoo and won an undisclosed amount. Man, that's horseshit. Yeah. Well, they had a pretty airtight case stating that even if the tiger was provoked and the pine cones had been thrown at it, it should have never in a million years been able to get out of the enclosure.

Man, yeah, I guess I do understand. I mean, that is the part of [ __ ] regulation. And that's why it's all comes on your [ __ ] ass when you're the zoo.

That's right. Whether they were [ __ ] to the tiger or not, I I do kind of agree. I understand. I understand. The reason why there's the reason why there are rules is because somebody there's there's always a reason why.

Yeah. Even though we're all like glad that there that that one dude's DNA is taken out of the [ __ ] pool. It's like one of those or the other two like they've learned nothing.

Yes. No. They really did. They were almost rewarded for what happened. Yes. Lorie Kajan, the trainer who got her hand ripped apart. She saw their success in the lawsuits and then filed one of her own and received an undisclosed amount.

As she should have. She should have done it a long time ago. She should have. Yeah. To fix the issue, the head zoo administrator was let go and Tony the tiger was moved to a smaller cage while the tiger enclosure was modified to make sure that this never happens again. They dug deeper into the moat and put a large plexiglass barrier up that now reaches over 20 ft. In my opinion, the zoo and the boys are at fault in this incident. In my research, I saw in 1997, the zoo was awarded $48 million for animal upgrades, but they used most of the money to upgrade the customer facilities and not the animal facilities.

A [ __ ] them. I know. Yeah. The animals are only That's like the star of the show.

Yeah. [ __ ] treat you treat the talent with care. Yeah. And then we show up. This is why all of the animals agree that they're not happy at the zoo.

Yeah. In the coming years, there were more incidents at the San Francisco Zoo. including a large door crushing a gorilla to death.

Jesus Christ. Orangutangs living in a subpar living space infested with rats. Okay, so it had it definitely had massive problems.

A wild mountain lion broke into the zoo and killed a kangaroo and two walaroos and YOU KNOW THEY'RE LIKE WHAT THE [ __ ] That's insane. That's like you would be at our house and all of a sudden Ed Keer just like is just like dropped off at the door and he's like I guess I have to kill everyone you know. Yeah, they basically showed up and the kangaroos in the walloo were ripped to shreds and like what the [ __ ] happened? And then when they check footage, a mountain lion did just break into the zoo again.

He came to a restaurant. Yes. Yeah. Um, also a grizzly bear brief briefly escaped. A lemur and a squirrel monkey were stolen in separate incidents. And another door fell and killed a beloved penguin named Handy Harry. Currently, the zoo is 95 years old and very outdated compared to other zoos. For a while, there was a group of San Franciscans who tried to move remove the exotic animals and make it a sanctuary for stray animals. But ultimately, that idea was shot down because nobody wants to go in a zoo for dogs.

Yeah. Uh, no. It's called the pound. And if you can't take them out, then it's just a heartbreaking like bunch. It's just going to a kennel.

Yeah. Tony the Tiger never recovered from the loss of Tatiana and died sad and alone in 2010. It took a lot of guys who honestly made it big in commercial world. The Dollywall brothers, even though they were awarded $800,000. Sorry.

It's all right. Yeah. No, it was good. It was It was good. It was fine. Yeah. The Dollywall brothers awarded $800,000. Did not have it easy for the rest of their lives as well. Arrested multiple times for drunk driving and shoplifting. And ultimately, Paul Dalaw died in 2012 for what seems to be a DRUG OVERDOSE.

NO WAY. YEAH. that guy. Well, giving that guy a bunch of cash didn't help his life.

No, it certainly didn't. It accelerated his demise and it just increased his in character.

Merry Christmas, you [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] Thank you. Good work. Good lesson to learn.

Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I just had that Flaming Lip song, Christmas at the Zoo, playing in my head the whole time.

It's a good lesson to learn, guys. Just remember that you you always win if you're bad.

Yeah. Fly from your grave. Well, now that we have had ourselves a Christmas animal attack and and have also told the story of a Christmas song within the context of history, let's tell the story of a Christmas song that was based kind of sort of on historical events or at least based on an historical figure. In my opinion, this song is one of the best Christmas songs out there because everyone loves singing Beast of Stevens.

Everybody does. I like I like that song and I like Felis Na'vi. Yeah, that song of course is good king Wineslus. Now like many Christmas traditions, good king wines has its roots in a time when Catholicism was still drenched in paganism. The song was written in 1853 by a medievalist priest named John Mason Neil who stole the melody from a 13th century tune celebrating spring called Tempest Freidom. Actually, Rob, I did send you a link. That's interesting. [singing]

I love these four virgin boys singing the song. What is happening? He's putting hot chicks in it. These women are empty.

Those chicks do not want to be there. I feel like this is some old songs club in a German high school.

Yeah, it I don't know exactly. It's the Montfort Academy uh Latin club, I believe.

Oh, okay. Nice. Yeah, but it's a it's a it's a nice song. It's just all about like spring is here. These are why we do these things. This is how work goes.

It's another example of how actually more Christian our modern Christian traditions are not really even based on pagan traditions. They're actually based on vulk traditions that are more Germanic. Like most of these are like you're going to see all this come out. That's

you know we got a lot to thank him for this year. We actually Jesus Christ a lot to thank Oh boy for.

Yeah that was a good that was a good month and a half for us. Yeah. Great numbers.

Now interestingly good king Wineslus was a controversial song upon its release. Its writer, John Mason Neil, was an Angloatholic priest, meaning that he believed in combining Catholic rituals and belief in the saints with pre-protestant practices. Basically, Father Neil wanted to take things back to medieval times. So, to spread the pre-protestant cheer, he decided to write a carol about St. Weslas to teach children to partake in good and charitable deeds during the Christmas season. His Protestant contemporaries, however, called Good King Winter Sloths a barbarous tomb pairing dog, poor and commonplace to the last degree.

You mean to tell me this is just one of those funny things that haters have existed for so [ __ ] long that people dogged people panned good King Went.

Actually, that's a cancelled figure. We never It's always here. Yeah, it's always been here.

It's always been here and it's never going to end. Yeah, that was an actual a direct quote. A barbarous tune pairing.

That's hilarious. Now, Winus loss was indeed a good man. He actually existed. He was sort of a Robin Hoodlike figure who brought aid to the poor and remained a proud virgin all his life. He

How does a virgin bring AIDS to the poor? Tunes.com. with a pack of infected chimpanzees having nice brows on.

Well, Winterless preferred the monastic existence of labor and contemplation to the company of women. He needed not a lady. He only needed God. But there is

red right hand. But there is of course quite a bit of murder and violence in the actual history of good king Winterluss which brings us back to the world of the Catholic saints.

Our favorite evil superheroes. The Saint Wesless was the first saint of Bohemia and therefore the first Czech to achieve worldwide fame. First ever famous Czech.

Wow. Born in 9007 AD and dead by the age of 28, Winslus was never actually a king. More accurately, he was a prince and then a duke. But

and then a corpse and then a corpse and then a but good Duke Weslus does not sound good. So he just changed it to good kingus.

Sure. Yeah. Good Duke Wes losses. That's what I had this morning. Let's continue please. were born to a royal dynasty that ruled parts of various Eastern European countries including Poland. Winless was actually Polish.

Wesless's father, Duke Vatislaus, was a Christian who'd been converted by St. Sirill, the same Sirill who also created the cerillic alphabet still used in Russian and Ukrainian writing to this day. There's quite a bit of context involving Weslas.

Weslaus's mother, however, was a pagan princess named Dreira, who supposedly converted to Christianity when she married Duke Vatislouse. It was rumored, however, that Dreira converted in name only and remained a committed pagan throughout Winslaus's childhood. Now, Duke Vatislaus died in battle while invading Hungary in the year 921 AD. But since Weslas was only 14 years old and too young to take over his father's dukeom, his grandmother, Ludm Miller, stepped in as regent until Weslus came of age.

Hot. Yeah. Granny Granny Lud Miller. Yeah. Now, supposedly Lud Miller was a true Christian who taught Winslless about charity, forgiveness, and all the other touchyfey Jesus stuff that most Christians refuse to acknowledge. Now, supposedly because pagans must always be portrayed as evil in these sorts of stories, Windsorless's mother, Dre, hated Ludm Miller's Christian influence. So, she rounded up a group of pagan noblemen to chase Lud Miller out of town. Lud Miller went into hiding, but Dre Hamira had her tracked down within weeks and had Winslas's grandmother executed.

Whoa. Yeah. [ __ ] yeah. Yeah. She also became A SAINT. WOW. Nadre Hamira took over as regent until Wesless came of age and therefore reinstated pagan practices throughout Bohemia. But once Wesless became Duke, when he came of age, he switched everything back to Christianity. And while that is a buzzkill, winsless was said to be the protector of widows and orphans. This is his saintthood.

That's what he captured. Yeah. Took real good care. No love for the widowerower.

Yeah. He's a no. No love for the widowerower ever. He failed his job. He was also a supporter of the weak, a supporter of foreigners, and was said to be a wise and literate man. He was also against the death penalty, which was extremely uncommon, if not totally unheard of, for a ruler in 10th century Europe.

So, I imagine they killed him. Well, we'll get to that. But while he did have the gallows dismantled, he was a massive fan of brutally flogging anyone who trespassed against the word of God. So, you're not going to get killed, but you are going to get whipped.

Hey, hey, you know, YOU'RE NOT DEAD. YEAH, you just got you really think about Christ.

Well, he also really expanded what you got flogged for. Uh, people, if you uh acted immodderately,

flog him. Yeah, flog him. If you loitered in a tavern, let me let me [ __ ] get out.

I hate that [ __ ] Get out. You're drunken up. You're ging up the parking lot. You don't got to go home. IT'S YOUR [ __ ] ASS.

[ __ ] LET ME BEAT THE [ __ ] OUT OF YOU. IF YOU INDULGED IN realry without without cause.

I get that. I hate kids. I hate skateboarding. I hate random songs. I hate bouncy houses.

Tatiana tried to flock the Dollywall boys. Too bad she only had claws and teeth.

Well, so it's just cutting. Just I slice them up. Well, if you did any of that in Duke Weslless's lands, you were immediately put into irons and severely flogged while ceaselessly prayed for you day and night. It's like honestly

I could use the beating without the praying. You just beat me. I actually feel like the praying would be the most annoying part. I'd be like, "Shut the [ __ ] up." All right.

Yeah, that would be the most annoying part. I thought just the guy going I'm only doing this because for your sake and this hurts me more than it hurts you. It's like just shut the [ __ ] up, buddy. I get it. Yeah, I'M I'M THE ONE GETTING FLOGGED.

I guess that would be annoying because getting flogged is more than annoying. Yes. I'm just saying that's the worst part of it is him just going, you know, really this hurts me more than it hurts you. That makes me angry.

They used to make a game out of it where they would like chase them flogging them through the street and they would try to run between the carriages. It was called Flogger.

Stupid, stupid, stupid joke, but a funny game. I say brilliant. Again, it's subjective. Comedy subjective. [clears throat]

Well, because things never really change, Winslus' neighbors were absolutely furious when he tried building true Christian principles into his government. Like when Wes suggested that the poor should be able to eat food.

Yeah. Yeah. Even if they can't afford it. We should be able to feed. We should feed the poor.

If not, we'll flog them. Yeah. Yeah. Beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of them. You're going to give to charity. Beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you.

Well, this proclamation, however, led to one of the miracles that secured Winslas's saintthood. According to legend, Count Radislas of Guruma was so into that. I loved saying evil name Count Count Rodislos of Gurima. [gasps]

Definitely the bad guy. Yeah, he was so incensed by the idea that Winless was feeding the poor that he invaded Winless's land. That's how evil he was. My god, he's feeding the poor.

BRING ME MY HORSE. YEAH, I GET IT. IT'S [ __ ] It's s What you know, we just heard it from our wonderful leader Elon Musk. Uh suicidal empathy.

No. Yeah, that's right. We shall ride from the lands of Gurama. But instead of allowing his people to die while defending his personal principles, Weslus, according to his hagography, challenged Count Rodus to single combat to avoid all war. The count accepted and most likely laughed when Wesless showed up to the duel unarmored, holding only a short sword. The heavily armed count therefore thrust his lance towards Winslless for the killing blow. But as he did, two angels appeared and protected the future saint.

Count Ratislo fell to the ground, which apparently meant he lost. Yep. But Winsless spared the count's life just so long as the count promised to go home to Gurama and leave Wesless alone.

Oh, you see, we got Wow, he did it like peaceful. Yeah. Where were those angels every other time Saints were murdered?

I feel like that there was like they they did some they like they'd never seen a juke before.

Yeah. Like they never like they never saw that before and like maybe that's what he invented.

Yes. was like, what do they call the dolphin spin? What's that spin? Oh, I don't know.

When you do the thing when you swim. The swim move. Yeah, the swim move. He could have invented the swim move.

You never know. Maybe he's an old relative of Barry Sanders. You don't know. Maybe.

Now, Winsorless only made it to the age of 28, and that was due to his younger brother Bolaslouse. Bolaslouse was ambitious and unhappy with Windsor's pacifism. So, he conspired with other Bohemian nobles to murder his brother. That's the best, dude. That's the best part of Crusader Kings 3.

That's the best [ __ ] is that when you're playing a character and then you but you want their son in, then you do the thing where you set up their whole family to betray them. It's [ __ ] awesome.

Yeah. In September of 935, Bolaslouse invited Winsluss to church, followed by a nice dinner and a few cups of wine. But when Windsor woke up the next day to go back to church, Bolaslouse and his henchmen followed. When the time was right, the three henchmen stabbed Weslless to death and unceremoniously dumped his body in a ditch. Boluslouse was then made Duke of Bohemia and the murder of his brother earned him the name Bolaslouse the Cruel.

Oh no. Bolas the louse. It's right there. No, they don't like rhymes. They don't like rhymes.

Well, Bislaus does he he sounds like he did like evil a little bit. The same day that he killed his brother, his wife gave birth to a son, and they named him Strovos, which translated to English means dreadful feast.

That's awesome. Yeah, man. We need better names. Yeah. Bolus, however, eventually came around to Christianity. There's a massive historical context here. His future actions led to the recognition of the Polish state by the papacy, which helped to define medieval Poland as one of the first modern states.

Wow. Yeah. So uh Bolas the cruel was actually a massive uh figure in Polish history.

But that's interesting because yes he just didn't really like the kind of his brother but at the same time he had long view of history which would darn Dan Carlin always talks about the capital G great men of history.

Yeah and bololis would be one of those men. Sounds like a Polish soup. Honestly it's delicious. Have you ever had it? Dill.

Don't be like dill. Lots of bowls for me please. No spoon just a straw. Yeah that's right. Get him the big straw. He's got a big mouth. Now, Winslless was almost immediately celebrated as a martyr by Christians who developed the cult of St. Winsless in short order. 800 years later, Winsless was plucked from relative obscurity by the aforementioned John Mason Neil, who stole a paganish tune and wrote a carol about a good king who feeds the poor and leaves magically heated footprints in the snow. Serious, if you listen, that is what the song is about. That's the plot of the song. Wow.

He He sampled it. Yeah. Did he? He did. It's more of a sample. He took the beat and he ran with it.

He did very much so. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. But also that's normal though, especially for old songs like the idea of that's like a very common practice.

Very much so. Yeah. Just taking the old tune, giving it new words. Yeah. And if you Yeah. If you uh listen to the song, uh the whole thing is King Wes looks out. There's like an old There's a a poor man outside. Uh he he tells a servant, "Hey, let's go feed that guy." And they go outside and it's Christmas. And the servant says, "I'm cold." And Winsler says, "Just follow in my footsteps, for they will be warm." And they were. [clears throat]

Grab this flog and hit this bad boy. Listen, you smack yourself with this a little bit, you'll warm yourself right up.

Neil also introduced all of us who were raised as Protestants to the Feast of Steven. I didn't know what the Feast of Steven was. The celebration of the first Christian martyr. Traditionally, the feast of Steven is held on the day after Christmas.

Steve's the first guy who got murdered on Christmas. Uh he did not get murdered on Christmas. Uh but he was just murdered and they just usually like to have the feast of Steven. He was murdered in like 8087 or something like that. That's fascinating. Stoned to death. I think we talked about it in our saints episode.

Now that I'm saying like I do remember going feast of Steven. It might have come in Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems very familiar.

And speaking of which, I I'd like to end my favorite things with a with a street joke. Yeah.

Uh how does a king winsless like his pizza? How? Deep and crisp and even. Oh my god.

Are you a [ __ ] Protestant? Let's string him up. Let's string him up. We're going to blow up his house.

I am going down there. The war is coming home. I was raised Yes, I was raised Protestant. Yes,

the war's coming home. Interesting. I thought you were cool. I'm I'm from Texas. Unless you live in San Antonio.

Yeah. You don't got that Roman Catholic blood like we do. No. All right. Now, I'm going to tell you a story of my favorite things. But obviously I I do love a story about a UAP, a UFO.

Yeah. Now, this is a story about just a hard-boiled egg covered in its own mayonnaise.

That's what I wish I wish I could write about but this story and we we were talking about doing an episode on this story, and it is a bit thin, but I did like the story enough to do something with it. Now, this is the story of the Kexsburg UFO incident. Oh,

there is a book though that I did base this on. It was called The Kexsburg UFO Incident uh by George Duing.

It is a 35page book. Okay. Not very exciting. No, that's a pamphlet. It It's a novellet,

but he did write I got this story of James Romansky from him and we will we will cover that. So, um I'll start from the top.

All right. The Cexsburg UFO incident is a simple affair, but it does take place during Christmas. So, I thought I would share the story for the coming season. On December 9th, 1965, a glowing object traveled over central Pennsylvania and crash landed, quote, outside Kexsburg, which is an hour from Pittsburgh. If you've ever been to central Pennsylvania, then you know the area. Dense brush, sparsely distributed population, lots and lots of raccoons on stolen methampetamine. M

it's called Kentucky for a reason. Now that night, thousands of people have been able to see the UAP.

There were reports from across the state and even from Ontario, if you can believe it,

I can. Many accounts match the original that we saw a giant ball of glowing light.

It passed over the trees and landed with a blue smoke, vibrations, and a thump on Christmas.

On No, on December 9th. This is a Christmas time. The only one that got really close to Christmas. The only UFO story that actually took place on Christmas was the Rendlessham Forest incident, which we've never which we've already covered very deeply.

Okay, so this is the closest one I found. Now, this is what what this actually was so widely seen that it was was reported on in the local newspaper, the Greensburg Tribune Review. They reported the area where the object landed was immediately sealed off on the order of US Army and state police officials in anticipation of a close inspection of whatever may have fallen. State police officials there ordered the area roped off to await the expected arrival of both US Army engineers and possibly civilian scientists. Local military personnel arrived. They went looking at where the supposed mysterious crash vehicle was had crashed and they found nothing. The explanation to this day and it still is is that it was a meteor bolide that burned up in the atmosphere. In 2005, there would be tests of supposed leftover materials from the untrustworthy bastards over at NASA who would contend that it was in

fact pieces of a small Russian satellite that had broken up over as it was kind of descending back into our atmosphere. And that's the official story. But the good people of Kexsburg know that something a little bit more mysterious happened that night. Now, they have a UFO festival every year. It happened this year in June. the Kexburg UFO festival where they celebrate this. Um there's not much going on in Kexsburg otherwise.

Sure. Yeah. So, this is a big part of their story because they know what really happened.

Small towns have to, you know, grab on to whatever little thing they have for their festival.

But now, there are distinct things we know about the story, but they only came from one person, a person by the name of James Romansky. And so what I've decided to do in order to add to the season,

okay, was to write a poem from the perspective of James Romansky on the 9th of December, 1965. Now, I've written this poem in the style of Christmas entertainment. It tells the story of local fire brigade volunteer James Ramansky and what he would see that night, which would change Pennsylvania faster than John Federman's stroke.

It was the 9th of December and all over the land of Kexsburg, PA, there were many a witness at hand. The iron cities were sucked by the hemlocks with ease as hopes for a stellar wind would warm up the freeze. The Ruskies had sensed by satellites that night, while hopes that compromat could appear in their sights. With Eileene in her panties and I in my cap, we just gozzled our nog for a long evening's crap. When out on the john there arose such a thumping, I sprang for my beanag chair to see if it was something. Away to my Ford expedition, I flew like a flash, scraped the ice away, and put my gun on the dash. Orange lights on the slippery asphalted glow gave a luster of Vegas to the objects below. But to what did my red watery eyes did appear?

But a bronze acorn-shaped craft surrounded my military gear. With a little gray driver who buzzed like a bee, I knew this little jagoff must be an ET. More rapid than beagles. His plasmoids they floated. Many state lines that crossed. each one of them noted. Over Detroit and Pittsburgh and Arbor and Windsor, I'm finally here in Cexsburg to scare this old Yinszer. And then in a crinkling I heard in the grass, a man with a rifle had it trained on my ass. As I screwed my head in and was turning around through the forest, the men in black came with a bound. They were dressed up in suits and scaring my boss fire chief admires and he yelled, "Hey, you get lost." A group of soldiers tied the EUO real tight to an 18t long army tractor brought earlier that night.

The edges, how seamless, the doors non-existent, and a luster so matte you'd swear it was pigment. That's close. That was close.

Sideways, Ryan. Fine. It'll work. Yeah. Its dome wingless top was as smooth as an egg and it flattened on bottom like a beast natty keg. And with a crack of a walkie the men got to hauling. My boss and the Gman they ended their squaling. Ed pulled me away and he held me real close. He whispered real quiet, "Don't talk or we're toast." And he gave me a piner of old Winton's bourbon. As the smoke from a cigar made a cloud like a turban, the tractor pulled out its tracks covered by dark and the fixers they covered the evidence and bark. But I heard Ed exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to Yins and don't drink and drive."

I did have to change the the Pittsburgh ending. Wonderful. I love it. Beautiful. Wonderful.

Did you get the story though? Like I totally got a fire. He was called out. He was a volunteer firefighter. He got called out. He saw the bronze. You can see here that's the bronze object

that it's now famous in Kexsburg. The or the acorn-shaped UFO that it's sh famous for.

Acorn's such a nicer way to say butt plug. Butt plug. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to just say mound of feces.

That is an acorn shape. And so yeah, that's the story. And he saw it loaded up onto a tractor and then it was driven away. And for some reason, none of that could ever be cooperated.

For some reason, well, merry Christmas to happy holidays, everyone. Happy holidays.

It's Christmas time. Hey, ask. Don't even [ __ ] worry about it. [ __ ] style. It's Christmas. Don't go to the zoo.

Stay out of the zoo. You know what you do for Christmas? Let's vlog some [ __ ] who do that. Sure.

You know how you bring the zoo to you? Look it up on the internet. Watch on YouTube.

Yeah, there's a whole National Geographic channel. Watch one of those weird things. You know, when Asian tourists just film a bunch of stuff with their iPad, find one of those.

Yeah. And this Christmas when you're sitting around with your family and and the song White Christmas comes on, make sure to tell them, "Did you know this is about about Irving Berlin's dead infant son?"

And then you go, "So shit." Favorite lines. And go to patreon.com/spasoft to give us money to watch us perform. And then you're going to go, you could see our bodies. You can also see us live on live stream on the left. Not for the next two weeks though because we are off. We are on vacation uh for the holiday season, but we will be back in January 6 p.m. PST only on the Patreon. And for all of your social media, I guess the term would be needs. Go at LP on the left for all of our socials. And go see our new YouTube channels while we are gone. We are going to have a a bunch of fun material is still coming out into the YouTube. Our blood bath shows are rolling out. We're not We're saving the ending for after Christmas break, but you're going to get other material.

Oh, that's very Yeah. Oh, yeah. We have other material. You're going to get the You're going to get the episode zeros. You're going to get a bunch of stuff in there between.

Hell yeah. And then come see TV on YouTube. If you're looking for that last minute Christmas present, bring them to see us live on the road. Tickets are available January 31st. We'll be in Philadelphia.

Dude, got to come to the show. Our Philly show is going to be a [ __ ] blast. It is. It's already selling like [ __ ] crazy, but we got it's such a big venue. We have so much more room. So, it's going to be wild. So, come see that. That's going to I can't wait for that. Uh February 28th, Austin, Texas. March 13th, Indianapolis. April 25th, Cincinnati. May 29th, Pittsburgh. Maybe we'll stop by Katsburg.

I'd be down to go. Well, it's Yeah, we could try to get out there. Yeah, who knows?

Yeah, it's like an hour and a half out there in the middle of nowhere. Too far. Um June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma. July 18th, Oklahoma City. Also, January 4th, I'm going to be at Oxnard Levity Live with Karolina Hidelgo, Jake Young, Holden McNeely, and Julia John's. Come check us out. The show starts at 6. I'll have you home for dinner.

It's incredible. It's going to be a wonderful time. I can't wait for it. And we're going to change. We're going to see the change. We're going to be the change, boys. We're going to get the 6:00 show going. I don't care what anybody [ __ ] says, man. 6:00 shows.

It's really fun. I I really enjoy doing it. All right. 6 o'clock [ __ ] shows. Think about it. Think about it. But when I go to San Francisco in February, Wednesday, February 18th, it's going to be a 7:30 p.m. show. But we will be talking about The Ghost of Tatiana with Grant Gordon and my wonderful wife Julie Rosing going to be hosting that show. It's going to be a lot of fun. Come and check me out.

She'll just be happy to see a lady kill a bunch of men. Mhm. Mhm. So, we're going to take a couple weeks off. We're gonna go say bye-bye and hang out at our various homes and vacations and things like that.

And then when we come back, but it doesn't matter. You still get plenty of stuff. We're putting out updates.

But just so you know, when we come back in 2026, we're coming back hard. We're coming in with a big old true crime story, a modern true crime story. And we're coming in like So,

is that the one I think it is? Yes, it is. I'm very excited. And 2026 is We have a lot to come. We also have the next head on the uh Mount Rushmore of Evil that will also be coming very very soon. We have other things. So

be on the lookout. We'll see you next year. Yeah. [ __ ] YOU. [ __ ] Enjoy the last update. It's not.

Yeah. Yeah. Had hail. Uh Tatiana Oscar Peterson. Yeah. Oscar Peterson.

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things"?

Unknown Armed Forces Radio DJ (Guest), Marcus Parks (Host), Henry Zebrowski (Host), Ed Larson (Host).

What is "Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things" about?

The content humorously revolves around a festive Christmas celebration filled with playful banter among friends about unconventional holiday themes, including a comedic portrayal of Mrs. Claus and imaginative discussions about holiday attire and traditions. The tone is light and irreverent, offering a blend of laughter and absurdity as the hosts engage in lively exchanges about their favorite…

What is mentioned in this Last Podcast On The Left episode?

129 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Tatiana, The Fall of Saigon, San Francisco Zoo, Operation Frequent Wind, Marcus Parks, Saigon. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Relaxed Fit: Christmas Roundup - My Favorite Things"?

The episode runs 1 h 19 min; the transcript is about 14,520 words in 329 timestamped sections.

More from Last Podcast On The Left

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated February 23, 2026.