Side Stories: New Year's Evil

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Ed Larson, Henry Zowski
2. 20:00 – 30:00: Mike Dunlevy, Ryan Mcdana
3. 30:00 – 40:00: Russell Fay, Ryan Mcdana, Ty Warner
4. 40:00 – 50:00: Better Help, Russell Fay, Justin Trudeau, Katy Perry

Notable quotes from "Side Stories: New Year's Evil"

• Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zowski. I'm sitting here with the brave Ed Larson.

  about Ed Larson · at 1:37

• Ryan Mcdana who was a part of the Alaska Medical Board. He was working on hardcore really putting in the time trying to make sure anti-trans kid he was an anti-trans crusader. he was.

  about Ryan Mcdana · at 27:12

• So many things here confuse me. So number one, Russell Fay. He broke into the Beanie Baby Mogul. The fact that you could be a Beanie Baby Mogul is amazing.

  about Russell Fay · at 39:25

• Him out of there. He's a big guy. 6'3, 250 pounds. Damn. big unit and he said that apparently Katy Perry sent him there.

  about Katy Perry · at 41:08

• Don't have to become a new person to do it. Signing up for therapy with BetterHelp can shine a light on what's been weighing you down and illuminate possibilities for the year…

  about Better Help · at 48:42

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Russell Fay — Person · 4 mentions · first at 39:27
• Ed Larson — Person · 2 mentions · first at 1:40
• Ryan Mcdana — Person · 2 mentions · first at 27:12
• Ty Warner — Person · 2 mentions · first at 39:22
  There's so many things here. Ty Warner is the man's name.
• Katy Perry — Person · 2 mentions · first at 41:13
• Justin Trudeau — Person · 2 mentions · first at 41:37
  Oh. Yeah. Justin Trudeau. She sits there. She got stolen from us.
• Henry Zowski — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:38
  Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zowski. I'm sitting here with the brave Ed Larson.
• Mike Dunlevy — Person · 1 mention · first at 27:31
  He was there for two votes. He was immediately put on by their Republican governor right there. Mike Dunlevy over in Alaska which we're headed towards. And he immediately went in.
• Linda Malik Olanian — Person · 1 mention · first at 40:54
  There that was described as Ty Warner's girlfriend and employee, Linda Malik Olanian, right? Very lovely woman. she was beaten into unconscious by him until he was arrested in a coma.
• Fast Eddie — Person · 1 mention
• Larry Nassar — Person · 1 mention

Companies & orgs

• Better Help — Company · 3 mentions · first at 48:37
• Sling — Company · 1 mention

Full transcript with timestamps

0:00 Last podcast on the left is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

0:24 There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left. Side stories.

0:32 That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Got it. God bless America.

0:47 You know, I love being a winner. You know what it is about America is that no matter what, we'll surprise you. Right. You don't know what we're going to do. You think we're going to zag. We're zigging.

0:58 Yeah. You think we're just blowing up fishing boats? We are taking the fishermen. That's right.

1:05 We're getting in there. And our old [ __ ] [ __ ] is a caracus of [ __ ] Wow. 2026.

1:11 Caracus of [ __ ] Can you believe that we've made it to this future year? 2026, guys.

1:19 Is that just my Is my pacemaker shutting off? Nothing's here. THEY TURN IT BACK ON. YEAH.

1:30 YEAH. We should just get a real air horn though. Yeah. Yo, honestly, put it on the list. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zowski. I'm sitting here with the brave Ed Larson.

1:43 Hi. And I'm very brave. Super brave. I'll fight all you people. Please don't. I'm coming for you. I got two fists, one for each of your bombs. Do you leave your honestly? I hope you have a gay mother. I pray you have a gay mother. So, obviously a lot of news came out. Christmas break, we took it. What a wonderful time we had. Ed Larson.

2:06 Oh my god. Got to see you quite a bit. Yeah. And then you know what else? We got to not see the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of each other a bunch as well. And that was actually surprisingly nice.

2:16 Key to friendship. Yeah. Yeah. This is not being there. Time apart every once in a while to save a bit. We had a wonderful time. We went out for uh we had Christmas Eve. You guys came over. You celebrated with my family. It was really nice. My mom was in town.

2:30 Uh she had lots to say about Epstein. Yeah. I bought her a nice bathrobe. Thank you. Honestly, cuz I'm sick of her walking around naked. THANK YOU. COME ON. HELL YEAH. COVER MY MOTHER'S TITS. I just love that every thought inside of my mother's tits is now wrapped by Ed's gift. Happy January 6th. We also want to say to everybody's favorite holiday, happy January 6th.

2:57 Happy Janu, Jason. Well, tomorrow when you hear this, it'll be January 7th. Can someone please storm the White House for me? I'd love to get in there. I never got to do it. When was ours?

3:07 We No one No one ever stormed the White House since Andrew Jackson was inaugurated.

3:12 You're right. Definitely. They didn't do anything. You can't even storm it. It's all gone.

3:15 They just calmly visited it. You just walk through the whole thing now. I love that though. Nothing makes me happier than our president's own disrespect of the White House, you know, that makes me so happy,

3:25 you know, cuz honestly, [ __ ] the White House. [ __ ] the White House. Yeah, it's like it's kind of funny that half of it's gone.

3:30 Same. I love I love what they've done. I love that they're saddled with them. I love that every [ __ ] child molester in that [ __ ] building has to deal with the child molester and chief just ruining the place. They deserve every [ __ ] minute of it. But Eddie, as we know over the Christmas break, the holiday break, a lot of news things flew around, right? And and I feel that maybe a part of it is like because the stories we got sent in for the return of side stories for 2026 fairly weak.

4:02 Yeah. A little boring. A little boring because it seemed that the stories that were the main stories going on across the entire world quite exciting. Yeah. I feel like this would be a great time to commit petty crime and not get it exposed. Dude, this is the time. Our Trump is setting the smoke screen for everyone. Now, he was so upset about what was revealed inside of the Epstein dump of the last couple Epstein dumps. He decided to invade Venezuela. Now, we now know that he invaded Venezuela simply because see, we wanted the oil.

4:37 Yes. They And the gold. Don't Don't sleep on the gold. They got other minerals, too. Believe me, I wish I could get some of that gold, but Dick Cheney would be roll he he's rolling in his grave right now, thinking about all of the work he's spent piecing together A A GIGANTIC WORLDWIDE conspiracy to make the world still somehow love America in some shred, some piece of soft power out there after we went and subjugated everyone, right? HE WORKED SO HARD.

5:06 He really did. He really did. He was the Misdirect King. Dick Cheny's first heart was made of gold and he had a view for this country, a long view for this country because he's like, you can't just come out and say this [ __ ] They had the WMDs and then we [clears throat] had all the stuff and

5:22 they said it's a bad man but a bad guy. Well, Maduro was a bad guy too. Bad guy.

5:28 Bad guy. But he didn't even come we they kind of said fentanyl. They kind of said fentanyl. baby. They didn't even try to come up with an excuse, which I think is very, very funny. And it is great because again, we're seeing this Dick Cheney, you failed.

5:40 You failed. You failed. You [ __ ] dead [ __ ] [ __ ] He is a dead [ __ ] I love that he's [ __ ] dead. But this story it But there's a deeper story here. You know that, right, Eddie?

5:51 What? The Venezuela thing? Have you heard of the tomb of Gilgamesh? No. Now, what a lot of people don't understand that yes, Dick Cheney, wise American, truly one of the

6:02 You like this too much. I'm actually coming around on all of this recent news. I've been reading too much about Epstein. The lack of Cheney in the Epstein emails is making me like him.

6:13 Yeah, that is what's happening. It sucks that like now we just like to like a politician, they just have to [ __ ] adults. that if you just [ __ ] you could do just [ __ ] I don't care if you hit A KID.

6:26 YEAH. LIKE LITERALLY KNOCK IT OUT. I'D RATHER I WOULD HAVE more respect for you beating your child than [ __ ] it.

6:34 Okay. And that's a I mean it's a low bar. It really is. But that is but at least there is one. So yes, Dick Cheney obviously he there and and our our intelligence operations, our military, we sought after trying to gain a really strong foothold in the very chaotic Middle East region, trying to take over the oil, all this type of stuff, right? We believe this idea of creating an American future. Yeah.

6:59 Right. Or somewhat in a slightly American, Russia, Chinese equal divy up of the world. Yeah. Right. That was like one of the other big discussions that started back with Kissinger. So we thought we created all these things but that was not why we invaded Iraq.

7:14 The reason why we invaded Iraq is that in 2003 we discovered the second Iraq invasion.

7:20 Yes. The big one. The long one. Yeah. Yeah. Down to the shaft. We discovered the tomb of Gilgamesh. And do you know who Gilgamesh is?

7:30 I have no clue what you're talking about. Gilgamesh is the uberch of the I believe the Hindu religion in many ways Gilgamesh was a powerful powerful like they believed to be the either magician or a god on earth and there's lots of rumors that his tomb was somewhere we don't even know if Gilgamesh was real right but I'm going to say for our story for what I'm saying right now entirely real

7:52 I believe in him and a part of what happened was that our government and this is true they believe that they had found I mean true as in mean it was written on the internet. They found the tomb of Gilgamesh in 2003 in Iraq.

8:06 Okay. Which just so happened to be Eddie a Stargate. The Stargate. And the reason why we went into Iraq in the first place was to get that Stargate. The re the mediocre Kurt Russell film.

8:24 You're talking about No, it's not. I'm not talking about a warehouse of the old DVDs. I'm talking about an actual portal, right? They believe they went to this they there was this some giant machine or we don't really know but they're saying essentially there is a there was a hidden machine style like thing inside of this tomb because he was viewed as this sort of like he might have been a future man right into the past.

8:49 The cradle of civilization is there and all that stuff. I don't [ __ ] know, Eddie. But that you see, there's there's something else that happened. Not several months ago.

9:00 Uh-huh. A new here to for undiscovered culture 18 months ago. A new Stargate, listen, was found in the heels of Venezuela.

9:10 Really? Sure. But they don't have the Tigress or the Euphrates there. No. All they have is sweet, sweet crude. Last time I had sex. Last time I had to deal with a bunch of venasly Vinis aliens cruds I was in a [ __ ] whatever. [ __ ] you, DUDE.

9:25 I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO FINISH YOUR POINT. SO, HERE we go. Back in mid 2024, archaeologists confirmed a previously unknown culture and massive 130 foot snake markers in the Tippoise Los Lost World Mountains. And now they found this like culture and they say that Maduro immediately had sent the entire South American military down there to cut it off. I don't know if this is real or not, but I'm saying it's real.

9:51 Okay. Right. And then coincidentally, not 18 months later, we invade in the same area, Caracus, the capital,

10:01 trying to take over Venezuela to get whatever is the secret weapon. You think it's the Stargate? It's got to be.

10:10 You think we're trying? You think Trump wants a Stargate? I think that he doesn't know there's a Stargate.

10:15 Oh, okay. I think the other guys know that there's a Stargate. Steven Miller's like, I start gate. I hope that I'm there's [clears throat] no Jews on the other side.

10:26 Here's what I think I think what happened with Oh, no. He likes the Jews. I'm sorry.

10:29 Yeah. Yeah. No, he Yeah, but here's what I think happened with uh Venezuela. Here's my here's my personal view.

10:34 You're saying I'm wrong? I'm not saying you're wrong. I I saying that both things can be true at the same time. That's what I'm saying. Here's why I think Trump really wanted to invade Venezuela. Not just to make us stop talking about the Epstein files, which we'll get to in a second

10:48 because we're not going to stop. Yeah, we can't stop. I'm going to as soon if they put him in prison and hang him, I'm going to still talk about it.

10:54 Epste files IS JUST TOO MUCH FUN. It's a gift that keeps on giving, buddy. It's only 1% have been given to us and he's already flushed a baby in Lake Michigan. Dude, 1% of it is not has only been released. Millions of files. I download already threw a baby into a great lake.

11:10 Dude, I have already downloaded the first three sets of all of the zip files. Let's go again.

11:16 Yeah. Yeah. No, I I've been listening to it. I put a beat underneath it. It's kind of this jazz.

11:19 Yeah, it's kind, you know, it's all about the kids you don't [ __ ] So, here's why he really invaded Venezuela. All right. As a standup, I've learned this. Okay. As an amateur standup, I've played the Miami Improv. Okay. The Miami improv. Famously, Miami is one of the worst places I've ever done comedy ever. And do you know why? Because the Miami improv is not in Miami. It is in Dural, Florida. Okay.

11:46 Oh, yeah. Dural. Yeah. And across the street from the Miami Improv in Dural, Florida.

11:52 Okay. Is Trump's golf course. Okay. Okay. M now that show at the Dorado comedy at the Miami Improv.

12:02 Yes. Filled that that is a heavy heavy heavy Venezuelan neighborhood. Really? It's like all Venezuelan.

12:10 So what I think is a couple of waiters didn't show up for work at at Trump International Golf Course.

12:18 This is a caddy retrieval. Yes. And he's like And he's like, "You know what? I'mma [ __ ] bomb your family."

12:23 I know. Exactly. Yeah. Oh yeah. I THAT'S WHAT I THINK. THAT'S my personal theory.

12:27 Tell Oh, yeah. I think they were giving him hell down at Trump International. There was two different like he had several you the topiaries inside of Mara Lago in order to make them look like 13-year-old girls require constant maintenance. And so when those lawn men leave, you know that Trump went all the way down to Venezuela to get them back.

12:47 Yep. That's what happened. Yeah, that's what happened. Yep. We got a bus boy for report. Suck my dick. Yeah.

12:57 [ __ ] you, dude. Someone spilled CocaCola in the in some thousand island on Trump's lap and he's like, I'm gonna kill your family.

13:04 Yeah. Hey, you know, as good as reason as any. But yeah, that is But you know, so Venezuela, all the story, that's not the big story. I don't even view it as the big story.

13:14 Unfortunately, not because we had it's just two mobsters really whacking. It's It really is like I'm watching this. I'm like, this is like the Luchesi family, Lucesy family's attacking the Gambinos.

13:25 Can I also My big one of my big conspiracy theories in this one is the fact that you see Maduro constantly giving thumbs up. I think it was a part of a plan.

13:34 Oh, yeah. Oh, you mean because he like acts like Trump? There was something about this in which he's going to go somewhere like I guess I guess I don't know what they're going to do. They're going to try him in America or whatever and then I could easily see him getting like pardoned

13:47 and then him just like going Tekashi 69 wants to hang out with him apparently. That's a [ __ ] fun ass afternoon.

13:54 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to see that reality show. Oh my god. It would be Man, the editor on that. What? Wow. I would love to deal with that. Uh but the real news is the fact that we're back here in 2026 somehow still bringing you updates.

14:11 That's right. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah. It's Jeffrey time. [screaming]

14:21 God, it feels good to be back in the tempered waters around Jeffrey Epstein's island.

14:25 You know, forgot I got you GUYS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. OH, ROB GOT HIS OWN Christmas presents. What is this?

14:30 IT'S YOUR OWN LITTLE ISLANDS. OH, [screaming] IT'S ON MY own little island. I can do anything I want there.

14:37 Oh, no. Oh, and we have neighboring islands so that we can keep a whole pattern of secrecy.

14:43 Oh, it's big enough for a child. A child in my knee. That's all I need. That's all I need is room for a child in my knee on my little island.

14:53 I want a big Saint Barts. Yeah, don't you worry. S farts more likely when you GET THERE.

14:59 WE LOVE [ __ ] KIDS TOGETHER. you know, updates. Um, [ __ ] plenty this week cuz what they did, our wonderful administration, what they decided to do, which I actually completely agree with, dump the hardcore Epstein files that they would even allow us to have after their own poultry scan of them on Christmas Eve, right? So, a lot of this stuff came out on Christmas Eve. We now know that one of the big fun things was they [ __ ] up with all the encoding. So most of the redacted stuff that could be pulled out like Photoshop or something.

15:32 They just d they're the we are looking at the worst criminal the people that run our country right now are the single least talented criminal organization we have ever seen. They are I am constantly just surprised at how truly bad they are at doing every form of cover up.

15:52 You don't need to be in a hurry, guys. Just take your time. Take your time. You know, like cross out your T's, cross out your dots, your eyes.

16:00 All they had to do was copy it and then paste it and then it unredacted it. Yep. Oh, yeah. And I have all those original files. So, if you want them, I can send them to you.

16:09 Oh, I can't wait. [snorts] I have the files that Trump they tried to pull, right? So, we already know that they put out a bunch of incriminating pictures of Trump and then they pulled them out, right? And we already caught them. Those of us that had had the files already caught them. So, I have those files, which is great. And the we know that's like all of the stuff came out. They did it in the the dark of night because they're trying to say remember they're all like you're going to want to take all these with a grain of salt.

16:33 You don't think they were giving it to us as a Christmas present? This is I kind of felt like though they do in a way they do they didn't feel like it. So, one of the big things that came out of the the that last big dump was this letter that was that really the only thing that got publicity was this letter from maybe Jeffrey Epstein to Larry Nasser. And for those of you that don't remember,

16:56 great guy. Great funny guy. Great guy. Loved his job. Yes. Uh he was a great bastard.

17:03 Yeah. He Larry Nasser was a I believe he was a trainer and doctor for the uh the Olympics, right? like he did all this kind of stuff and be like little girls.

17:11 Women's gymnastics. Women's gymnastics. Uh or even the adults are tiny. Full on couldn't be more of a predator.

17:19 Yes. Uh molested everybody. Every every single It seemed like all like everybody.

17:23 Every child he was in contact with. He just he was a bad very very very bad man.

17:27 Yeah. Jeffrey Epstein did not have his contact information but wrote his cell he wrote to him in jail from jail. We now know that Jeffrey Epstein in this letter wrote, if it wasn't Jeffrey Epstein, if it was indeed that he wrote that uh if you are reading this, you will know that the job that I wanted to do has already been done. Essentially, I I'm dead. And I want to let you know that our president has the same predelections as us. He loves young new girls. So, he said that. Now, immediately the DOJ came out and they debunked it. They said it doesn't match his handwriting. They said there was a postmark issue and I contend [ __ ] you because I think it's the it's fine, right? I don't even think it's I don't even think it's real. Yes, the the signature doesn't match. The postmark doesn't match, but the postmark was after he died. You can mail a letter after somebody [ __ ] dies. Whoever

18:22 knew about this knew he died in a jail cell though while it was written. So, it was sent to Larry Nasser. We don't know again. We don't know. But the

18:30 Did Larry Nasser get it? No. That's how they found it is that he got returned to sender.

18:35 Oh. Because he didn't accept the letter. But don't they just go through everything that you send out anyway when you're in jail? Like don't they just read every letter incoming and outgoing? It is another extremely fishy thing that was probably dumped pro honestly to create this type of argument cuz the DOJ can come out and say and the FBI they can say oh that's why you got to like really look at everything cuz this is a part of our investigation everybody which is eat me. The stuff that's truly chilling though is the stuff that you'd think is nuts. So, there was a redacted chunk of of material that came out on the 24th that talked about Donald Trump being involved in a scenario where he it seems was a part of either a botched abortion or like it was at the end.

19:26 This is the big one for me. This was the Yeah, it's a big one. And they apparently threw a dead baby

19:32 Yeah. in a lake. Well, he was there for it. He said he was there. He dropped and throw the baby into the lake. We can't physically do it.

19:40 Yeah. Yeah. Good work, brother. Yeah, I like this. I So, normally I when I first read that, I was like, "Oh, this is more hysterical bullshit." And told, you know, that there was another series of emails within the Epstein. This stuff is so thick, it's so hard to stop when you start. So there was an essentially a series of emails with Jeffrey Epstein and his the guy that was a guest in charge of his estate. One of the people was in charge of his estate and they were talking about some various things about Trump and they were talking about how oh I can't believe he's going to go down because this was in the first right before his first term when all of the the uh the the stuff with Grabber by the [ __ ] and all the stuff came out and they're like oh I can't believe that Trump

20:28 remember THAT INNOCENT YEAH, NORMAL ONE. And so they was talking back and forth like, "Oh, I can't believe some some like essentially derogatory uh language about women. I can't believe these [ __ ] are going to [ __ ] bring him down." And that dead baby story didn't.

20:45 Yes. And so I find that interesting that out of nowhere this like that was not seen anywhere else in the files. It was seen randomly in a conversation that corroborated the story that was this other victim came forward and said this thing happened and I was present for. So I don't know I will say don't it's not good news. I don't think the president was super thrilled that it came out and I think that there's a lot of other people Bill Clinton is Bill Clinton

21:15 he's like he's like prosecute me. You know why? Cuz anything's better than being in that house. Oh, also, do you know why he needs to get out of that house?

21:23 Do you know why Clinton could give a [ __ ] Of course, IT'S ALL BEING DUG BACK UP. YOU THINK THAT CLINTON'S had a peaceful lunch since this has began again? Right. Like, you think that he No, he's like, "Put me in jail."

21:35 Yeah. Look me go. Not just that, because of the [ __ ] new laws, he can't be put in jail because Trump made it illegal to [ __ ] prosecute a next president.

21:45 Wow. Fantastic. So, now Clinton's like, "You can't even touch me. My life sucks anyway. Let's just take it out.

21:52 [ __ ] please the love of God. Please love God. Just [ __ ] kill me. Just [ __ ] KILL ME ALREADY. GET SOMEBODY COME. GET SOMEBODY JUST SUICIDE ME. I feel your pain. Can somebody please? Please somebody come and do what you did to death. Have the same sword. Wasn't a good president.

22:10 We talked about this. Wasn't good. Didn't you like me? About it. YEAH, I KNOW. HE JUST WAS He's like He's begging for somebody release him. Yeah,

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24:24 You know what we could do? Cuz that's like we could go on and on about Epste. These are these these couple stories are just important to remember. We're keeping We're going to keep covering it. There is more and more and more. What just hit me? What was the other piece of information? Oh, David Blaine asking for help trafficking trafficking women in um

24:42 IF ANYONE NEED HOW? ALL RIGHT. DAVID BLAINE SHOULD not need help trafficking children. He should be able to JUST PUT THEM IN A BOX AND THEY SHOULD APPEAR AT ST. BARTS.

24:51 KAZADAM, YOU KNOW, LIKE IT'S LIKE ABRACADAB HERE THEY IS PROOF that magic isn't real. THAT IS LIKE THAT IS ABSOLUTE PROOF THAT HE'S FULL OF [ __ ] AND NONE OF it's real cuz if anyone should be able to get away with this crime, it's him.

25:05 You know what was also included in the uh emails was some stuff from Woody Allen's Woody Allen's police depositions and [ __ ] like that. There's a bunch of information that all came out where it's like

25:16 I didn't know that there were other things on Woody Allen too. There's other stuff on Woody Allen. I had no idea. There was also of the story of Jeffrey Epstein had worked on getting this 15-year-old into this special school and they found all the applications for the 15year-old in his office that that would go on to accuse him of rape as well.

25:39 So, it's like it's all coming together. It's all in the emails. So, if you really want to have a good time, go crack him open.

25:45 How much time did you spend on this on your Christmas break? Hours. Hours. I read stuff and then I was listening to people break down what they read and then it was just because there's just too much. There's too much. You know what I will say? Fantastic tour of his New York home.

26:04 Oh, really? Yeah. I have all of this all of the the pictures of his entire Manhattan structures

26:10 cuz it was just the the dentist chair beforehand. Yeah. Now it's the whole house. And god, he had bad taste. He really was just such a [ __ ] baby. even like to [ __ ] adults. Of course, he had bad taste,

26:22 you know. Shocking, right? He's really shocking. Even as a child, I was attracted to adults.

26:28 I know. I SAY I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE KIDS THEN. I ALWAYS LIKED BIG TITS. UM, all right. Well, this is just kind of this is just more of the upsetting news of our day. But we have here in our notes, all I see here is Tootsiey's vagina.

26:43 Oh, yeah. Tootsie had some vagina problems. Let's just move on. I was like pulling these gooey ropes out of her and she's got she's got three different viruses.

26:52 I don't want to see the Tootsie Files. Yeah. Yeah, I'll show you about I'll show you.

26:56 I thought way it's like way happier stuff in the Epste files. Um All right, let's talk about this story cuz that'll lead us into a plug.

27:04 Here we go. So, here we go. We have in another super surprising story. Dr. Ryan Mcdana who was a part of the Alaska Medical Board. He was working on hardcore really really putting in the time trying to make sure anti-trans kid he was an anti-trans crusader. Uh he was trying to make sure there'd be no way of he he he was there for two votes. He was immediately put on by their Republican uh governor right there. Mike Dunlevy over in Alaska which we're headed towards. And he immediately went in. He's a doctor cardiologist. Wanted to make sure no way no trans kids are any getting any help in Alaska. Right. He went on.

27:45 You can't even go to the end of the world and be trans. N it's so aggravating. And you know what I'll say too is thank god somebody's punching this vulnerable group again.

27:54 Yes. Because I am sick and tired of their strength. Yes. You know they really need it. Especially in Alaska

28:03 because like there's nobody in Alaska. HOW MANY TRANS people could there even be in Alaska that are trying to get help? Like literally the numbers so little. How could you p I'm

28:14 You know how easy it is to talk in Alaska when your dick just sucks into your I'm just ahead there. I'm just ahead there. So this guy, he goes uh and um gets arrested for downloading for a bunch of child pornography.

28:28 Yes. And 10 felony counts. Yes. So he got a bunch of he uh downloaded it. He was putting around there child sexual abuse material. You know, I never cuz child pornography requires lighting agents.

28:42 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Production. You mean if it's if it's p if it's pornography means there's a director. I just like forget. All right. Let's just take the child out of this and let's just talk about pornography for two seconds.

28:54 Thanks. Who's downloading it? What do you mean? You don't download pornography. You just watch it. Well, these guys have to download pornography because they're sharing it over things like Telegraph and they're sharing things and it's the only way to have it. So, you have to download it. You can't just stream it.

29:10 You Well, you could, but then you don't got it. And then the idea is a lot of these guys, what you find out it's collectors and it's got them, need them, got them, need them. They see files, right? There's a bunch of files and then they do P2P file sharing. So, they'll go on to a lot of these guys get busted on because they're they're [ __ ] horrifically bad at stuff and they put it on Dropbox and they put it in very public aspects. Then people in the cloud. Yeah. in the cloud where these guys are doing it on direct messaging to each other in these giant [snorts and laughter] systems.

29:41 The pedophiles have to work in groups. Yeah, that is the only way they can work. So they unfortunately I have to roll back all the years I kept trying to say that there aren't pedophile networks because technically it's the only way they can work.

29:55 Yes. I mean, obviously it's very true that there is pedophile networks cuz because you're going through the Epstein files and it's always like

30:01 it's like the who's who of pedophiles and there's like pedophile networks all next to each other. YOU GOT NO talking about the Epstein pictures with Michael Jackson. When you're sitting there with a Michael Jackson and he's in full makeup and he's sitting there and he's looking in I'm sorry, I'm already broke off of this and he's looking at Michael Jackson dressed like that. That picture of him and a Michael Jackson. At one point are you looking at Michael Jackson that close while he looks like that and you're not like man you're a [ __ ] weirdo ghost.

30:28 Like if you could hang out with that evil like that picture later period Michael Jackson when he is turning into seaman is one of the most scary

30:39 just covered in clown makeup. He's slender man and they're having a blast. It's so just they sit there just smiling like they're flirting with each other. Michael Jackson's the scariest looking person in the world right now. He looks like what's her name? Aunt Glattis from Weapons.

30:55 He really does. You know, like that is frightening. He's dressed like the Joker.

30:59 Yes. And Epste's just wearing a hoodie with no shirt. Well, he's doing he's too he's sexy, Eddie. This whole thing is said he's sexy. All right, let's get back. Let's get back. Let's get back. So, Dr. Other sexy guys. So, Dr. uh Ryan Mcdana, right? Obviously, he was having a bit of a problem there, you know, so they were people pretty upset about it. people mad with him. He was like obviously saying like uh you know because he's trying to blow off Steve. Yeah.

31:24 Everybody's making a big deal about it. And so because they gave him such a big deal about it, it seems he set himself on fire in his own home. And they found

31:30 because they let him out on bail. Of course they let him out on bail. Yeah. Oh yeah. Just so he can really cover stuff up. So he went set himself on fire. They're trying to say that they don't know if it's body his body yet, but it's definitely going to be his body. They

31:41 He's unaccounted for. Yeah. That's what they're saying right now. He's unaccounted for. Uh, and I it just makes me really happy.

31:48 You think so? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That he set himself on fire. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

31:52 I think in many ways like the guys that do this, it's just like Yeah. It's how you're supposed to go.

31:57 Yeah. Right. It's like he set fire to himself. I think that that's like I love how painful that is.

32:04 Was it painful for him? It had to have been. He set himself on fire. Unless he blew his brains out first.

32:08 He probably blew his brains out first. If he's not I mean, if he's a [ __ ] I mean, who who kills themselves by fire?

32:15 Drunk people. Oh, yeah. All right. Purposely kills themselves by fire. Civil War protesters.

32:22 Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Someone did it recently in front of the White House.

32:26 Oh, yeah. They loved it. Yeah. They all got out there with their [ __ ] marshmallows.

32:30 They were so happy. But this, honestly, we even just told the story to remind you. We're coming to Fairbanks, Alaska.

32:36 That's right. We're coming to Anchorage, TOO, BUT IT'S SOLD OUT. ANCHORAGE IS SOLD OUT. SO, don't worry about that. But I challenge you to come meet us

32:46 Don Levy. Mike Dun Levy out in Fairbanks, Alaska. We are going out there and it is going to be the end of the goddamn world out there.

32:56 I'm very excited. I can't wait to be at the Centennial Center Theater in Fairbanks, Alaska on February 21st with the wonderful Billy Wayne Davis. Come and check out Henry and I. And at the end of the show, stay tuned because we're going to announce a bunch more side story dates.

33:10 Yeah, baby. Yeah, man. Alaska. I'm I can't wait to see Alaska. I cannot wait. I'm very excited to be there.

33:18 I'm scared, but I can't wait. Yeah. What do you got to be scared of and then never coming back? That's thing. You know what I'd say though is guys, give us some wrecks because I was looking at it. What do we do in Anchorage in Fairbanks? I've heard already people saying there's not quite a lot to do in Fairbanks.

33:30 No, there's nothing. But I definitely want like food late at night. No, we I don't think I think we're going to have to get Caribou.

33:35 Aren't you going during like the 30 days of night time, too? Yeah. Yeah. Fairbanks, we get no light, apparently. But but Anchorage, we get a couple hours.

33:42 I'm excited. That's how much more north Fairbanks is than Anchorage. Wow. Yeah. Then we're going to see the lights.

33:47 So cool. Going to see them northern lights. As long as it's not cloudy. I got one night seeing these [ __ ] lights.

33:52 Yeah, we'll see. Um there's a couple things going on that I wanted to bring up. Um, the first one was I just something I want to pay attention to and I want to kind of like throw it out there to our sparrows.

34:03 Yes, my sparrows are my little spies. See who's out there. I want to know what you all know about this. It's a very loose story that doesn't really have many like hooks in it yet, but I'm very concerned about what's going on in Houston. There's a lot of people showing up dead in the bayou. Well, we have been getting emails and people have been talking about serial killers operating in the Houston area for months

34:30 and what's we haven't really been talking about it because there's no kind of evidence.

34:35 There's nothing really yet, but it's it is insane what we're seeing here. Yeah. Like I don't know if this is multiple criminals dumping bodies like cuz remember at I don't know if you remember when they were going after uh the um Long Island serial killer when they went after Lisk.

34:52 Yeah. And that they part at first they kind of had to parse like which are victims and which are like cuz it was also like a dumping ground for

35:01 when do we officially get to say it's the guy with the big head? He's not he hasn't gotten to trial yet. He's not [ __ ] We can't say anything. Technically, I actually find it kind of even irresponsible that there's been multiple documentaries calling him Lisk because he's not been he's not guilty yet.

35:15 Yes. So, but it's him. We pretty much know like there's a lot of evidence and it's a lot of stuff, but but yeah.

35:24 Yeah. So, what's going on in Houston is so basically they've started tracking how many bodies they find in the bayou which started being tracked in 2017 and they found that's late since then. Since 2017, they found 200 bodies in the bayou. And the craziest part about it is over the last two years, they have found 78 bodies in the bayou.

35:49 Is that not natural inflation? Yes, especially Texas. But yeah. No. Uh yeah. So it's something's going on down there. A lot of them appear to be uh suicides. A lot of them appear to be uh just people like they don't know what happened.

36:04 Interesting. But that so they found 33 bodies. People just going there to die. I that it might be like a a Golden Gate Bridge type situation. But also it also seems like they really think that there's a serial killer down there and they've been finding so many bodies that now it is officially like a thing that everyone's talking about. Fascinating.

36:23 Uh they found 35 bodies in 2024 and they found 33 bodies in 2025. They just found one this morning.

36:30 They just found one this morning. SO WE'RE SO THE CLOCK'S STARTING on 2026. So what so what's we just find like we just don't know. We don't know whether or not it is just a popular body spot.

36:40 Yes. Or if it is indeed like cuz this could be like [ __ ] you know, like there's lots of gangs in Houston, you know, there's lots of stuff like that. So who knows? There's lots of [ __ ] oil people in Houston. There could be weird [ __ ] going on with that. We don't know. But they're finding

36:57 it's a lot of international travel. There's a lot of international people that live in Houston.

37:01 It's one of the most culturally diverse cities in America. Yes. And we have a lot of people that are seasonal workers that go there, too. So, I feel like there's probably quite a bit of that. People work in the oil like we were saying like not

37:12 I mean transient worker like people that travel for work where they go there for the oil, I believe.

37:18 And not just that, a lot of people who come in through the country through Brownsville, they end up in

37:23 Yes. And damn damn hookers. Apparently Alaska's got great hookers. Oh yeah. Yeah. Apparently that's the last spot for hookers.

37:30 No. Yeah. Because of all the crabs. I don't even understand. Deadliest Catch. Is that D is Alaska?

37:39 Yeah. Deadly Catch is Alaska. Oh wow. Yeah. You never watched that show? No. Oh man. I almost moved there. I was ready. I wanted to be a crap man. Then I realized I'm not strong enough.

37:50 No. Hard. Yeah. I I don't I can't drink enough. Oh no. You don't like the cold? Did you get seasick on the cruise? I didn't get seasick.

37:59 We got like slightly nauseous. Julie did. She did. Julie did one day. She'd be a terrible crab woman. She'd be I think she'd be fine. She'd be stronger. She'd be a terrible crab woman.

38:08 What are you talking about? She could pull up all THE CRABS. I THINK MY WIFE SO MANY CRABS.

38:13 I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR WIFE PULL UP CRABS. I'M SENDING HER THERE. I'M SORRY, BABY.

38:19 HONESTLY, I have watched Eddie. I will say this right here. Out of school. You walk in. This has got nothing to do with crime. Eddie's lovely wife for some reason is taken to doing full landscaping work in his backyard. We've talked about this on the show,

38:29 but she's digging back and forth. She's like a [ __ ] like her back is getting bigger. Well, she she's like she gets cold a lot, you know, and so like she's always got sweaters on and stuff, but the other day I was looking at her in the mirror. I'm like, "Holy [ __ ] your triceps are like

38:44 Yeah, she's been lifting rockets all day. Bad." You're like a bad [ __ ] Yeah, she's like doing Russian prison work in your backyard.

38:50 Keeps me in check, man. He'd break the [ __ ] out of my nose. Anyone if anyone tries to [ __ ] with me, Julie's going to beat the [ __ ] out of you.

38:56 Yeah. So, I got Natalie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Julie will fight, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. I think Natalie's more peaceful.

39:02 Well, she more she's Well, I'd say not peaceful, but Julie confrontational. Julie doesn't like violence, but she'll fight you.

39:08 I saw this firstand saw firstand um check out this dude. All right. This happened. A man broke into the guy. It's a It's the Beanie Baby Man's home.

39:22 There's so many things here. Ty Warner is the man's name. So many things here confuse me. So number one, Russell Fay. He broke into the Beanie Baby Mogul. The fact that you could be a Beanie Baby Mogul is amazing. Well, he is the guy. It's all the I I didn't know he was the man, Ty Warner, because and all the Beanie Babies, they got the little heart with the Ty on it. Made so much sense. Founder.

39:45 So what happened? Found her. So he did the sew up. Did he found? So what? Did he like find the first Beanie Baby?

39:51 I guess he made it. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this. They all have the Ty heart thing on their butts.

39:57 I'm going to say I'm looking at this guy and I the Beanie baby man. Yeah. I don't like him,

40:05 dude. He's a billionaire off of stuffed animals. I don't like his face, man. No. What's the like about him?

40:11 I don't like his face. Apparently he didn't. He's filled with little beads. You crack if you crack him open. He's just filled with little beads.

40:17 Do you think he had Princess die murdered just to just to bring up the price of the baby?

40:22 Yep. Stock manipulation. All right. So, he You think this guy who beat him up and broke into his house is a big Laboo fan?

40:30 What if you think you Oh, wow. We found out it was a hit from the labu industry. That'd be [ __ ] amazing. So, here we go. So, Russell Fay, uh, he uh he's a he's a seems to be he's quite sick. seems to have schizophrenia. He broke into Ty Warner's mansion uh and beat a woman there that was described as Ty Warner's girlfriend and employee,

40:54 Linda Malik Olanian, right? Very lovely woman. Um she was beaten into unconscious by him until he was arrested

41:01 in a coma. He um broke himself he put put himself in a room. Police he had a barricaded himself in a room. Police had to pull him out of there. He's a big guy. 6'3, 250 pounds. Damn. big big big unit and he said that apparently Katy Perry sent him there.

41:17 Oh yeah. Yeah. He said that he had a mind being a Beanie Baby fan and wanting to like steal all the Beanie Babies in the world. I think she if if Guess who she's talking to now

41:28 was a super villain. It'd be for Beanie Babies. Oh yeah. And guess what she guess what she does now? She's sitting around with the prime minister all day basking basking in his kisses.

41:37 Oh. Yeah. Justin Trudeau. She sits there. She got stolen from us. Oh, she was supposed to belong to America.

41:44 Yeah. We tried to send her to space and we brought her back. He brought her back. She was in M. That's the thing. We let her go to Montana. That's too close to Canada.

41:52 Yep. And then he [ __ ] took her. Yeah. So Katy Perry is too busy sucking Canadian dick and telling this guy to attack our beanie baby mogul. Yeah.

42:00 And no one's asked her about it. And I feel like that's like one of the biggest things that I find to be a red flag here is the fact no one's asking Katy Perry any questions. Yeah. Why are you sending this man to beat the his employee girlfriend?

42:15 Yeah. Why are you in Canada? What is it about? Oh, so you're plotting with Justin Trudeau up there in your little igloo. I don't know how you people live up there. And you're sending psychic assassins at our mogul to destabilize us.

42:31 Yeah. Beanie Baby is a respectable organization. Beanie Baby, whatever they do, whatever it is that they do besides making little bears is [ __ ] AMERICA'S BACKBONE. That's goddamn right. And these [ __ ] these Canadian [ __ ] I actually think this is a Canadian plot. Really? Even though this guy, well, Russell, the the guy that was arrested,

42:56 he's an American. Russell Fay, he was arrested several times. He's American and for beating his girlfriend. He also beat several other people with a baseball bat. He also um was um

43:05 at 65 or 6'3 250. You shouldn't need a baseball bat. You should be able to just use your hands.

43:11 No. No. He was angry guy. He uh beat a woman for um because he broke into her front yard and started drinking out of her garden hose and she said you're he said he was infringing on his basic right to water and then he beat her. So yeah, he's a bad guy.

43:23 His mug shot is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. He's kind of cute in a way. He didn't like the Flash. He didn't like the Flash. in 2014 interview with the San Francisco Gate about a criminal diversion program for veterans with mental health issues. He was actually quoted as saying, "I am fully trained for combat. I have been trained to eliminate you." I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. And so, yay, they just released these guys.

43:46 Yeah. And so, he's just out there. I don't know how he got inside that Beanie Baby mansion. Maybe God knows who left it cuz who vacuums all the Beanie Babies in there?

43:56 Oh, cuz you got they collect dust. Oh, imagine the dust in that house. Do you think it's filled with Beanie Babies or do you think there's none in there? Do you think he's like, "Fuck these stupid things."

44:05 If 500, Wait a second. Go back to that. Go [ __ ] back to that. The Princess Diana unopened is 550 grand.

44:14 No, that's just what this person's selling it for. There's a few of them though for like very very high prices.

44:20 You would have to be Look at this one. $20,000. That is built on her blood. Wow. $10,000.

44:28 This man had Princess the end. Murdered. He definitely had her. He worked with the Saudis. He got her [ __ ] murdered.

44:38 Yeah. For this because that's Prince Andrew had something to do with it. I tell you that much.

44:44 Oh, he's got Yeah, he's now formerly known as Prince Andrew. He's just sitting around near Oh, one of the other big reveals in the Epste emails was his secret name.

44:51 What's his secret name? The Princess Andrew. The Invisible Man. The Invisible Man. Gh. I hate these [ __ ] Well, anyway, uh Russell Fay is going to jail.

45:02 Yeah, he's in Santa Barbara jail, which I imagine is beautiful. How nice. I of all the jails, like I mean I almost want to go I bet you could. I bet if you wanted to go to Santa Barbara jail, I bet it's on Airbnb.

45:14 I Yeah, Verbbo. Yeah, Verbbo. You're right. I think you'd have to go to Verbbo. And I think that I could see the Tuskan. We're not even joking. Look at that. Look at how beautiful the front of that prison is.

45:25 That's a That's really nice. Why did they make it that cute? I went to Santa Barbara for New Year's with Julie and

45:30 Why did they make the Santa Barbara prison cute? It is adorable. That's hilarious.

45:35 There's like a bell tower. That is the funniest thing I have ever Why the [ __ ] does it look like a Disney hotel church?

45:42 It's a church. Oh, it's an old church. It looks like one. It's a prison. Probably is. Yeah.

45:45 That is the most open prison I have ever [clears throat] seen. I'm telling you, I'm about I'm about ready to become mayor of of Santa Barbara. Actually, I'm going to run Julie for mayor.

45:55 Where were we? Were we just We saw like that prison citadel in the middle of the city where it's like they had the giant citadel. It was like right in the middle. We were just downtown. It was right before Christmas break.

46:06 Right before it was Portland. Yes. We saw like they have that giant jail like in the center of town and it's built like like a It's built like a prison. Yes.

46:16 Cuz they want you to know you're going to prison. Yeah. where this is like Santa Barbara's prison. It looks like you could be going to a [ __ ] DMV. Yeah. The Portland like the Portland prison jail. Yeah. It's frightening. It has giant walls in front of it.

46:30 It's very Robocop. It's to keep you in. Yeah. OCP. It's a prison. It's a jail. It's not like the Santa Barbara one looks like a visitor center.

46:38 Yeah. It looks Yeah. It looks like there's multiple water fountains. Yeah. Like

46:42 that's the kind of [ __ ] That's where Jeffrey Epstein go. Like this is the [ __ ] This is the problem with stuff like this. You look at these two crime in Santa Barbara.

46:50 This is literally where they send people that are like like that. This is where they would have send that that that doctor that was busted for the child.

46:58 You know, there's like a chef. [snorts] Oh, yeah. You know, there's a guy. Yeah.

47:02 Not a cook. Yeah. Not a cook. There's like a chef. Like there's a name on the menu.

47:06 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like as presented by like there's a uh Oh, yeah. Santa Barbara is a nice So much tuskin tile.

47:15 You know what I like? So beautiful. You know what I love? Nothing better than also one of those great showers that you can sit down in.

47:21 Oh yeah. I'm so sick of getting clean standing up. I like doing it from the bottom up. I do it from the foot of the souls first. That's what I do. Show my butthole.

47:36 Live from your grave. Sling is changing the way live TV works by putting viewers in charge of their entertainment. Pay only for the months when TV is actually needed and skip the ones when it's not. For short-term needs, Sling passes provide live TV access without commitment. A day pass for $4.99 offers 24 access. A week pass, blah blah blah. Who cares? Unsling is the only place that you can watch your pretty facees going to hell on an app. It's the only place where you can do it. And so therefore, it has become my favorite app. So you go to wherever the Sling is, find Sling, and you can go to see your pretty face is going to hell on it. And that's all that matters. We're show people your pretty face is going to hell. Okay? So, go get Sling. Great app.

48:19 How I've organized my channel lineup is I've put your pretty facees going to hell five times on it. So, go check it out. Choose and customize your channel lineup or pause and watch for free. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com to learn more. This is an ad by BetterHelp. A new year is a new opportunity to feel lighter. And you don't have to become a new person to do it. Signing up for therapy with BetterHelp can shine a light on what's been weighing you down and illuminate possibilities for the year ahead. Better Help handles the initial therapist matching work for you. You don't have to do the hard work like I did trolling the streets of Skidro looking for a therapist. Just take a short questionnaire to share your needs and preferences. And thanks to BetterHelp's industry-leading match fulfillment rate, they usually get your match right the first time. You know it. You know how I know my therapist is my match? By

49:15 looking them dead in the eyes. I look him dead in the eyes and I see if he can handle it, right? As we both feel the bolus of excrement inside of me. Right? But I hope that better help can provide you an unbiased perspective on your life. So you can head into the new year taking only what truly serves you. You can't step into a lighter version of yourself without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Therapy can help you clear space. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/lastpod. That's betterh elp.com/lastpod.

49:50 Oh well, we just wanted to begin our year before we get into letters. We just wanted to remind you here at last podcast on the left and a side stories is that we're not getting any younger

50:01 now and and we pledge to never promise to be children, right? I'm not going to pull in Andrew Schultz. I'm not going to start saying words out of out of school. I'm not going to start acting like a child. You know,

50:14 we've been there, done that. Already was. Already was. I just mean like I don't need to say like new words. new words

50:23 like slang. I don't need to pretend to be young. I don't want to pretend to be you children. Okay.

50:28 Dead ass. Fine. That's fine with me. That's why that's what we've decided to do is incorporate uncle corner and build it out so that now the uncle corner you know it's coming and you can prepare for it. Bet. So ah angry anger. So here uh four uncle corners our very special guest Holden McNeely.

50:53 Oh finally 67 67. So uh immediately negated what we said before this. So what we wanted to do here is uh people forget about the father.

51:05 Uhhuh. Through the holiday season they they they do and and us as older men now we're getting to be on in the in the older category, right? We're starting to get in there. I think that you guys forget that we go through stuff, too. And we we have

51:19 You're not a father. No, but I could have been if I cared. Yeah, Henry. I think you'd be a really shitty dad.

51:26 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'll take that. Yeah, you should take that. So, what we did is that this is Holden McNeely.

51:31 Hello. Hey. Now, we decided to do this at the top of the year to kind of get it out of the way. And what I did hear is is that is that we decided to take Holden out for his 43rd birthday.

51:44 Drug him. No, you did that to yourself. And then I said, "These are mushrooms." And you took them.

51:50 Yeah. And he took them [clears throat] happily. And then what he did was a very normal father thing to do which just happened. And what I want I'm going to set this all up for you and then you can go Olden, which is he um was very in a human moment. He came home inebriated, fell down. hurt himself. We set this up a little woke up his family.

52:10 Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He fell down. He woke up his family. He hurt himself. He bled. But the thing is, I think we need to remember that no one has ever given Holden a birthday.

52:18 Not ever. Ever. You're right. Your your birthday is December 28th, Stan Lee. No, no one could give a [ __ ] Yeah.

52:24 About December 28th birthdays. It's like worse than Christmas. It's the worst birthday in the world.

52:29 They call it They call it the the hidden day. Yeah. It's the day after we've done the whole [ __ ] family [ __ ] suck thing.

52:36 Yeah. And then you might have gotten home in between the New Year's time and then New Year's you're already afraid about going back to work.

52:42 Last year I on my birthday all I did all day was celebrated a dying man. But you did

52:47 and I was given a $30 uh gift certificate to nothing in particular. I was just given one of those general

52:54 $30 to like Amazon. Go buy a bullet. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to. And so I I literally I was like I was like, "You know what, Henry? In all the years that we've been buddies with Holden. Yeah. We've never taken him out for his birthday. I think once I brought you TO THE MOVIES.

53:11 YEAH. There will be blood. Yeah. HE REMEMBERS IT. YEAH. That's how long it was since we've done anything for you on your

53:19 No one remembers and nobody knows. And don't by the way stop wishing people happy birthday on fa Facebook. No one's looking at that.

53:26 Well, we are getting it's Uncle Corner. It's allowed. He's allowed to No one's looking at it. All right. But what we decided to do is is that

53:34 I hate your listeners. With all of these emotions, they hate you too. They do. They do.

53:39 I don't like that. But with all of these emotions that you feel and all of these things going on, I don't want you to tell the story with words,

53:46 right? I want you to rob. Thank you. What's up? Yeah, dude. I'm going to need you to freestyle rap about your experience falling down on your birthday night and waking up your [ __ ] family.

54:04 Did he put D IN THE BABY OIL? He put D in the baby oil. Daddy got drunk as [ __ ] and decided to suck his so dick, but he couldn't cuz he couldn't get his ripped remove. YOU GOT TO GO TO ANOTHER [ __ ] mushroom pill, dude. I went to the bowling alley. Saw a little man. He was NAMED SALLY. HE TOLD ME TO EAT A MUSHROOM PILL. THEN I drink many, many beers. And I spilled spill all over the place.

54:37 And I pissed ALL OVER THAT LITTLE GIRL'S FACE. Not my daughter, different one. And I said, "Hey [ __ ] go have fun." Gave her a couple tokens for the video game machines. And then I took out my beat. Changed the beat. Yeah, change it up.

54:55 That's when the nights [ __ ] changed up. Oh [ __ ] Buckets of beers. We got buckets of beers.

55:02 We went bowling, y'all. We got a couple [ __ ] BUCKETS OF BEERS. STRIKE ONE. STRIKE TWO. [ __ ] YOU. [ __ ] YOU. I'VE GOT ANOTHER RIB REMOVED. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M DOING THAT BEHIND AGAIN. Who knew it's daddy's den? Drank too much. THEN ED SAID, "HEY, let's go to a bar ACROSS THE WAY. DRINK ANOTHER [ __ ] DOUBLE BEER DAY." THAT'S RIGHT. IT WAS DOUBLE BEER DAY, SO I HAD ONE. THEN THE DAD SAID, "ANOTHER ONE." AND I SAID, "SON, CAN'T YOU GIVE ME THAT LOADING GUN? I'M GOING TO GO HOME AND HAVE some fun."

55:35 Freudian slip. Freudian slip. Then I got home and I tried to make some macaroni and cheese. I TRIED TO MICROWAVE SOME MACARONI AND CHEESE. Lexi was in the other room with our baby and they were trying to get some sleep. She said, "HEY, WHAT THE [ __ ] IS THAT?" I HEARD A BIG SPLAT OUTSIDE IN THE DINING ROOM. HE WAS FAT. She went outside, saw me with blood gushing out my [ __ ] chin, right? I fell somehow in my chair. I think I leaned back, slam my chin on the dining room table, and I started bleeding all over the place. I HAD BLOOD GUSHING OUT MY CHIN. I KNEW I WOULDN'T WIN. WIFE SAID, "IS this the end? I'm going to divorce your ass if you do it again." She went back TO THE BEDROOM. I WENT BACK TO MY OWN ROOM.

56:28 That's right. I got a separate room because you know I've been drinking all up in my nose. I know daddy's sad. He been drinking. He ain't feeling very happy anymore.

56:41 But you know what I'm saying, guys? Let me say this right now. Yeah. Some partying [ __ ] right there.

56:46 Let me say this right now. All right. It look bad. Look at First of all, Jack. First of all, I love how fast Word travels,

56:53 right? Cuz I guess Lexi hit you up. No, I hit her up because I was like, I sent Holden home too drunk. I probably should have went WITH HIM. I LIT I LITERALLY WAS LIKE, I think he might be. And then she's like, he fell down. and he's bleeding. And then like we were all just so happy because well cuz you were very

57:11 I woke up. You just switch because this is what I want to establish to everybody. We went out to a steak dinner.

57:19 Nice. We ate hardcore. We ate I had like a cocktail. Had like a glass of wine. I WAS WE DRANK WATER AT ONE POINT at the bowling alley.

57:26 We did. We got ordered water. I ordered multiple pictures of water. Zero shots.

57:31 Zero. Hey, dude. Just call being [ __ ] 43, man. Only beers. Yeah, buddy. It's called 43 years.

57:37 You got a weird whiskey and they hand it to you with this. I did. It was a very strange like a gobble. They handed me this weird vase of makaker mark. Yes. That was very strange.

57:48 Crazy looking. Very very strange. That's the Ventura uh pin. Yeah. And And I think it's the it's I've got to learn this dude cuz also Rob I'm going to [ __ ] look at your ass. I think the last time the light switched out of me was cuz Rob was like, "Do this [ __ ] dab, [ __ ] and make me do a dab."

58:05 So, you're saying that he bullied you? That younger man bullied me. Rob doesn't drink.

58:11 Yeah. Forced me to do a dab in front of everybody in the parking lot of the studio.

58:16 I never forced anybody. He's never forced you. You very eagerly took it. I WAS DRUNK.

58:21 YEAH. AND THEN WE went and had a couple beers. And again, it happened. So, I think it's the weed correlation with the alcohol, beer,

58:27 and the mushrooms AND EVERYTHING. I'M ANNOYED at how little we did. Yes. No, I I was when I when you turned so drunk and I called that Uber, I was like, "WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" WE

58:38 WERE HAVING A NORMAL conversation and then you just turned into a ghost. No [ __ ] clue.

58:43 Well, either way, we said your ass. It led to some great freestyle hip-hop beats. Yeah. Thank you. I wasn't even expecting that. And I'm glad, too, cuz I would have been in my head trying to come up with it. Mhm.

58:55 It has to happen in the moment. I would have never told you beforehand. Okay. But you need to tell your [ __ ] producer to stop forcing talent in this network to do dabs.

59:05 I actually hope he does. I mean, I don't want him to force people, but yeah, dabs are great. They're really [ __ ] great. Well, Holden McNeel, do you have anything to plug?

59:14 Uh, yeah. Uh, my slug, dude. My [ __ ] dick, dude. What's between my legs, man?

59:20 Listen to nerd of mouth. Yeah, listen to nerd of mouth. Listener to mouth show.

59:24 Listener to mouth. LPN TV. Please subscribe to LPN TV. Don't just watch the [ __ ] on there. [ __ ] subscribe over there. Check out LPN uh Blood Bath. That [ __ ] is

59:33 great job producing that show. You've been crushing it. I genuinely you've been crushing it.

59:37 Check that show out and I'm so proud of it. The finale is dropping. Will it be out uh by the time when does this come out?

59:42 Wednesday. So, no. So, yes, the finale is out literally today. Great. Great. Thursday.

59:48 So, check it out. It's coming out and I I think it ends so good. Uh, and I think that Oh, hold on Twitch. You want to watch me get that drunk Fridays, [ __ ]

59:57 Yeah, definitely support that. Yeah, definitely support that cuz it's going well.

1:00:01 If he starts drinking at home and you he knows where he's going to fall, obviously Jack holding with the Jackies has been funny. Jack in with Jack with a grumpy dog that goes by Henry's sister. So,

1:00:15 you've been doing it a long time and it's really funny. Hell yeah. Thank you so much. AND I'M F I'M OUT. GET THE [ __ ] OUT OF HERE. GET THE [ __ ] OUT OF THIS [ __ ] STUDIO.

1:00:22 Sweat on the earphones. They're Marcuses. He doesn't know. He'll be He'll be grossed out by you. Goodbye.

1:00:29 Bye, Holden. That was way better than I thought it was going to be. [ __ ] That was actually very aggravating that it was like kind of good. That was [ __ ]

1:00:39 That was I I'm like I'm like mad that it's was fine. That was [ __ ] That was hilarious.

1:00:44 Yeah, I was expecting that to be like a bigger disaster. No. No. I to be honest I don't know what it would have been better. You know what I mean? Like I don't know what would have been better. Is it would if it been is it better for it to just be obnoxious or is it interesting that he's actually kind of good at it?

1:01:00 No notes on the rapping. Lots of notes on being a father and himself as a man, his activity as a human being. Well, we're back. Side stories all over again.

1:01:14 Yeah, baby. I got to say the real SS. Yeah. Yeah. THE SS WITH A JEW. YEAH. YEAH. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. We SS here at SS. We love Jews. And I laugh when I think about Jews. And I love spending time with Jews. Especially Woody Allen. My favorite. Oh god. Can you even imagine? I still think about that. Just hanging out with Steve Bannon and Nam Chosky all night. GH like [snorts] what it's like smelling their bellies. Oh yeah. patreon.com/lastpodcast on the left. Pay money for this. Go to LP on the left for all the socials. You do all the social [ __ ] It's out there.

1:01:55 Go look at it and then go check out our new YouTube channel. It's LPN TV and then you go to we have foreign reports someplace underneath and LPN romantic. And who's the [ __ ] Check it out.

1:02:06 Absolutely. And we got shows, baby. Yeah, we do. January 31st, last podcast on the left, is going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. That's going to be a [ __ ] wild ass show. It's a big ass venue. We got plenty of tickets. Come and see this show. It's going to be a [ __ ] blast. We're pulling out some special [ __ ] just for that one. Uh February 18th, I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco. Uh that's me with Grant Gordon and the wonderful Julie Rosen.

1:02:32 Oh, wonderful. Yeah, it's going to be a blast. And then Anchorage, Alaska, sold out February 20th. Fairbanks, come see us. That is February 21st. And then guess what, folks? You wanted more side stories dates? You [ __ ] got them.

1:02:47 Tickets go on sale next Wednesday, January 14th. We're going to be March 14th, Urbana, Illinois. Never heard of it. Can't wait for it.

1:02:57 I like the smaller the weirder the town. My favorite place to do a show. Akan like changed me.

1:03:02 Same. It's like I just I can't wait for this [ __ ] All I want to do is go to more places people hate.

1:03:07 Well, guess what? We're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky on April 26th, Rochester, New York on May 30th, and London, Ontario.

1:03:17 We're coming to Canada first ever. First ever side stories in Canada. We're coming to London, Ontario, June 28th.

1:03:23 And any one of these places, please recommend local restaurants. Yes, we do. You know that we you know we do that. You know that it's our favorites. You know what we like. You know when we come out here, especially like We're going to come out there. We're hitting this year so [ __ ] hard.

1:03:36 We're hitting this year so hard. You call us Ike Turner. WHOA. [screaming] IS THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT THAT.

1:03:42 WA. WE'RE GOING have to cut that before. I think it's it's been long enough. Yeah, cool.

1:03:45 It's been long enough. I My my favorite part about Ike Turner is when he died. Um the uh that was my favorite part. No, but when he died, uh the New York Post, the the headline was uh Ike Turner can't beat death.

1:03:57 Yeah. One of the best. Phenomenal phenomenal stuff. post. Peak of their entire of their entire world.

1:04:03 I was up there when when Saddam Hussein was hung and they wrote good news. Yeah,

1:04:06 that was a good one, too. Yeah. Yeah. They can't be wrong all the time. Well, h Satan, everyone.

1:04:13 And I'll see you in this bright, wonderful new year of 2026. Yes. Hail Tina Turner. And his vagina.

1:04:20 Yeah. Answer this vagina. You're right. Let's heal that vagina, please. Or just get rid of it. Little ropes of goo and pull it out. Get with them.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Side Stories: New Year's Evil"?

In order: 0:00 Ed Larson, Henry Zowski; 20:00 Mike Dunlevy, Ryan Mcdana; 30:00 Russell Fay, Ryan Mcdana, Ty Warner; 40:00 Better Help, Russell Fay, Justin Trudeau, Katy Perry.

What is mentioned in this Last Podcast On The Left episode?

13 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Russell Fay, Better Help, Ed Larson, Ryan Mcdana, Ty Warner, Katy Perry. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Side Stories: New Year's Evil"?

The episode runs 1 h 5 min; the transcript is about 13,327 words in 323 timestamped sections.

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