Side Stories Video: 'Tis The Season

What this episode is about

The discussion explores the unexpected and humorous revelations from Paul Anka about Frank Sinatra's anatomy and an intriguing claim regarding Joey Bishop's gender identity, highlighting the absurdity of celebrity culture and the dynamics of fame. The conversation blends comedic commentary with surprising cultural insights, ultimately reflecting on the legacy of these iconic figures.

Key takeaways

• Frank Sinatra's 'big hog' is myth-confirmed, but Joey Bishop's surprise 'vagina' wins the eyebrow-raising award.
• Joey Bishop as a trans icon? Take that 1960s gender norms and run far with it.
• Dean Martin's 'horrible flatulence' makes being called Dean Farton less charming than his scotch-offering persona.
• Vegas is the only honest city because everything there stays secret, until Paul Anka spills.
• They say family support means the world, but Las Vegas salvation is just ten tickets away in Portland.

Who speaks in this episode?

• Henry Zebrowski (Host) · 35 min speaking
• Ed Larson (Host) · 29 min speaking
• Zach (Dead Animal Assembly Plant) (Guest)
• Unnamed listener (fetish/edge-play email writer) (Guest)
• Champ (Guest)

What is discussed, and when

1. 0:00 – 10:00: Morgan Geyser, Dean Martin, Joey Bishop, Frank Sinatra
2. 10:00 – 20:00: Jed Parkington, Dubai, drones, Genghask Khan
3. 20:00 – 30:00: Mormon, Micah Smith, Christmas, quicksand
4. 30:00 – 40:00: Ashley/Bradley Bartholomew, Courtney Bartholomew, Weezer, Weezer
5. 40:00 – 50:00: Fabraier, Fabra egg, Davy Jones, Spirit Halloween
6. 50:00 – 1:00:00: Christmas, Dead Animal Assembly Plant, Lisa Tanner, Bombas
7. 1:00:00 – 1:04:21: Chelsea Riggs, Christmas, GoFundMe, GoFundMe

Notable quotes from "Side Stories Video: 'Tis The Season"

• Paul Anka confirming the fact that Frank Sinatra has a big hog.

  about Frank Sinatra · at 0:31

• Credit. So, thank you. someone said that they actually appreciated our coverage of the Morgan Geyser story.

  about Morgan Geyser · at 5:00

• Doesn't lead someone to act in a way that endangers themselves or others. So you get as LONG AS SLENDER MAN'S JUST hanging out and just being stuff like being like I actually think that a smashing machine was fine.

  about Slender Man · at 8:32

• Micah Smith, 31 years old, was told by his wife to please do not do this.

  about Micah Smith · at 24:40

• Honestly, so far he I am an unapologetic fullon Quinton Tarantino fan. I love every single I mean his movies are great.

  about Quentin Tarantino · at 31:23

• Courtney Bartholomew. That is a really funny Weezer joke.

  about Ashley/Bradley Bartholomew · at 34:46

• Parks, so the child was due to give birth to three days. The same day the body was discovered, authorities arrested Parks's fiance, Richard Valor, an Kimberly Park. So…

  about Richard Valor · at 36:14

• Gross crimes of all time. Also, there's the story of the man who swallowed the Fabra egg and then shout it out. This is another I am angry again. I'm reanchored about this…

  about Fabra egg · at 39:32

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

• Morgan Geyser — Person · Referenced case subject · 3 mentions · first at 5:04
  Episode discusses coverage of Morgan Geyser's case (young attacker with delusions tied to 'Slender Man'), mental-health context, and audience reactions to the show's handling.
• Micah Smith — Person · Referenced criminal defendant (child endangerment/abuse case) · 2 mentions · first at 24:06
  Central figure in a story about a father taking very young children on a dangerous winter hike leading to rescue and serious charges.
• Ashley/Bradley Bartholomew — Person · Alleged criminals (case subjects) · 2 mentions · first at 34:46
  Mentioned in a gruesome true-crime story: Courtney and Bradley Bartholomew accused of killing a mother and removing a baby; referenced as central criminals in the episode's coverage.
• Courtney Bartholomew — Person · Alleged criminal / case subject · 2 mentions · first at 34:46
  Named as defendant in the true-crime account involving the murder of a pregnant woman and removal of the baby; part of a multi-defendant case reported via People magazine.
  Courtney Bartholomew. That is a really funny Weezer joke.
• Frank Sinatra — Person · Referenced celebrity / anecdotal subject · 2 mentions · first at 0:31
  Referenced in jokes and stories about mid-century entertainers (Rat Pack), part of a comedic anecdote about physical rumors.
• Quentin Tarantino — Person · Referenced filmmaker (commentary target) · 1 mention · first at 31:25
  Brought up during a tangent about his public persona and press behavior; hosts separate admiration for his films from dislike of him personally.
• Richard Valor — Person · Referenced criminal suspect/arrestee · 1 mention · first at 36:17
  Named as the victim’s fiancé arrested in connection with the homicide described in the Bartholomew segment.
• Chelsea Riggs — Person · Referenced private individual (friend of host) · 3 mentions · first at 1:01:23
  Mentioned in a PSA segment: a close friend whose house burned down, used to emphasize attic smoke detectors and mutual aid/GoFundMe support.
  Friend's house burned down. and it was a very close friend of mine. I love them greatly, Chelsea Riggs. here's something. It's more of a PSA for everyone. I didn't realize this is a thing. It was an electrical fire.
• Paul Anka — Person · Referenced celebrity · 2 mentions · first at 0:31
  Mentioned in a comedic anecdote about confirming details of Frank Sinatra and Joey Bishop; used as part of comedic storytelling about Rat Pack-era celebrities.
  Paul Anka confirming the fact that Frank Sinatra has a big hog.
• Jed Parkington — Person · Alleged/placeholder name for standoff shooter (uncertain identification) · 2 mentions · first at 15:15
  Used to label the man in the Connecticut standoff story; may be a misheard or comedic placeholder rather than a verified real-world identity.
  There. Right. And so the lady the dude came out. So the cops came Jed Parkington. Joe Jed Parkington definitely that's the exactly what he did.
• Joey Bishop — Person · Referenced celebrity / anecdotal subject · 3 mentions · first at 0:38
  Mentioned in the same Rat Pack-related anecdote; comic reference to gendered body part rumor used for humor.
  So Joey Bishop that I that's what they cut it out of the interview. I guess because Paul Inca at that point was starting to drool out of the side of his face and one drop of blood.
• Dean Martin — Person · Referenced celebrity / anecdotal subject · 3 mentions · first at 2:08
  Mentioned in stories about Rat Pack-era behavior (flatulence, alcoholism) and a personal anecdote about buying scotches for a listener's mother.
  Yeah. Dean Martin, horrible flatulence problem. They used to call him Dean Farton.
• Davy Jones — Person · Referenced folkloric figure (idiom) · 2 mentions · first at 47:41
  Invoked via the phrase 'Davy Jones's locker' during a story about a ferry death and recovered belongings.
  Yeah. and that sometimes she keeps what you want and she gives back what you can take.
• Samuel Little — Person · Referenced criminal (context for a book/author mention) · 1 mention · first at 33:38
  Mentioned as the subject of a book by Jillian Lauren (referenced in passing during a tangent about Weezer’s bassist’s wife).
  It's fine. It's all good. I know that she wrote a really interesting book about Samuel Little and she's done quite a bit for awareness of, all that kind of stuff. Really good investigator of true crime, but she.
• Genghis Khan — Person · 37 mentions
• Lisa Tanner — Person · 2 mentions · first at 52:49
  Yeah, I got a tanner that reached out to me and said that we were right.
• Ashley Parker Angel — Person · 1 mention · first at 0:45
• Henry Sowski — Person · 1 mention · first at 3:49
  My name is Henry Sowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. we just came back from the [ __ ] best city on the face of the planet, Las Vegas.
• Ed Larson — Person · 1 mention · first at 3:50
  My name is Henry Sowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. we just came back from the [ __ ] best city on the face of the planet, Las Vegas.
• Ronnie Jean Simmons — Person · 1 mention · first at 21:04
  We got a couple stories that seem like they LINE UP PRETTY WELL. We had an exact almost copy of our buddy Ronnie Jean Simmons that we just covered in Arkansas last week where a…
• Gandalf — Person · 1 mention · first at 24:57
  Thing. And she said she was scared. He told her, You shall not pass. He like started quoting Gandalf to his 8-year-old.
• Brigham Young — Person · 1 mention · first at 28:40
  Cut the fact that there's a large unspoken that they're praying to some mountain that be that Brigham Young was on top of or something.
• Chad Del — Person · 1 mention · first at 28:49
  Well, good. He can go have that communication with Chad Del now.
• Samuel L. Jackson — Person · 1 mention · first at 30:46
  I'm doing this is a direct reference to Quenton Tarantino very confidently speaking with Jamie Fox and Samuel Jackson and a and the press coverage for Django Unchained and he…
• David Finch — Person · 1 mention · first at 32:16
  And David Finch is going to direct it.
• Bradley Bartholomew — Person · 1 mention · first at 35:19
  Used a little bit of chill. Courtney Bartholomew 40 and for 47year-old husband Bradley Bartholomew decided to become evil personified according to the Wexford County prosecutor Johanna Kerry by murdering their her daughter.
• Wexford County prosecutor Johanna Kerry — Person · 1 mention · first at 35:24
  Husband Bradley Bartholomew decided to become evil personified according to the Wexford County prosecutor Johanna Kerry by murdering their her daughter.
• Kimberly Park — Person · 1 mention · first at 36:22
  Body was discovered, authorities arrested Parks's fiance, Richard Valor, an Kimberly Park. So everybody tried to kill her. So her mother and her stepfather, her fiance, good [ __ ] Lord, and his sister. And I don't know why.
• Karolina — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:00:28
  You want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Karolina and Julia Johns and Holden and Jake.
• Colonel William Anthony Holden — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:00:30
  You want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Karolina and Julia Johns and Holden and Jake.
• Julia Johns — Person · 1 mention · first at 1:00:30
  You want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Karolina and Julia Johns and Holden and Jake.
• Champ — Person · 1 mention
• Ellie — Person · 1 mention
• Jillian Lauren — Person · 1 mention
• Josef Fritzl — Person · 1 mention
• Maria Zach — Person · 1 mention
• Sammy — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

• Batteries Not Included — Book · 1 mention · first at 20:19
  Yeah, that poor drone. It whole family got killed by this guy. This is like the worst version of Batteries Not Included I've ever seen.
• Django Unchained — Book · 1 mention · first at 30:51
  Speaking with Jamie Fox and Samuel Jackson and a and the press coverage for Django Unchained and he is he's on jacked out of his mind and he loves talking like a black guy and…
• Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — Book · 1 mention · first at 32:11
  Well, he's he's working on the sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood because, everybody wants to see that.
• Love on the Spectrum — Book · 1 mention · first at 53:00
  Okay. And it did that someone pointed out to me and it's true and it's Tanner from Love on the Spectrum. So because Tanner was a very sweet man on Love on the Spectrum, but I will say Tanner unfortunately voted for Trump.
• Vampire: The Masquerade — Book · 1 mention · first at 59:37
  And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV. Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best [ __ ] we've made in a long time. It is going.

Companies & orgs

• People magazine — Company · Source · 1 mention · first at 36:47
  Cited as the outlet providing details for at least one of the criminal/true-crime stories mentioned in the episode.
  And it was due to give birth with a caption that read, My alibi of where I was the night my daughter came up missing.
• GoFundMe — Company · Incidental · 2 mentions · first at 1:02:50
  Mentioned in passing as a platform for raising funds after a house fire.
  If you want to help out my friends, there's a GoFundMe. just Google support rigs family after housefire. and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida.
• Weezer — Company · 2 mentions · first at 33:14
  We the Weezer basis wife who got shot by the police.
• Spirit Halloween — Company · 2 mentions · first at 44:14
  Upsetting body cam videos I've ever seen, which was a man that was a security worker at a spirit Halloween.
• Dead Animal Assembly Plant — Company · 2 mentions · first at 51:47
  This one's from Zach from Dead Animal Assembly Plant.
• Florida police — Company · 1 mention · first at 13:20
  Yes. So, they had Well, yeah, they were treated horribly by the Florida police.
• Stamford police — Company · 1 mention · first at 13:49
  Right. So, a man opened fire on Stamford police in Connecticut of all the places.
• state marshal — Company · 1 mention · first at 14:36
  The incident on December 2nd began when a state marshal, it came to this home in Oaklan Avenue. He came to evict this guy.
• Roblox — Company · 1 mention · first at 24:31
  GET THE [ __ ] UP. GET UP. PUT THAT ROBLOX DOWN. IT'S FILLED WITH PEDOPHILES. WE'RE GOING TO THE PEAK OF THE MOUNTAIN. WE'RE GOING TO KISS GOD ON THE MOUTH.
• Primary Children's Hospital — Company · 1 mention · first at 27:26
  And then he was told to leave Primary Children's Hospital for trespassing.
• district attorney — Company · 1 mention · first at 46:17
  The security officer from the spirit of Halloween. his mother was the district attorney and well, there still he's not about to he's going to have to go to trial, but he definitely he got charged for with that second degree manslaughter.
• Bombas — Company · 1 mention · first at 50:03
  All I know is I love my bombas. I tell me about it.
• LPN TV — Company · 1 mention · first at 59:37
  And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV. Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best [ __ ] we've made in a long time. It is going.
• LPN RPG — Company · 1 mention · first at 59:40
  And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV. Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best [ __ ] we've made in a long time. It is going.
• Hoopaoo — Company · 1 mention · first at 59:48
  A bunch of announcements for I'll just go ahead and say it. We got a second season of Hoopaoo. Hoopa goooo is coming out. We have you might be hearing whispers of another show…
• Levity Live — Company · 1 mention · first at 1:00:28
  You want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Karolina and Julia Johns and Holden and Jake.
• Hoka — Company · 1 mention
• Punch Line (San Francisco) — Company · 1 mention
• REI — Company · 1 mention
• Spirit Christmas — Company · 1 mention
• SWAT — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

• Fabra egg — Product · Incidental mention · 6 mentions · first at 39:36
  Discussed as a luxury item that was swallowed and later retrieved, highlighting its perceived value and the absurdity of its pricing.
• GoFundMe — Product · Fundraising platform referenced · 2 mentions · first at 1:02:51
  Mentioned as the platform hosting a fundraiser to support a friend of the host after a house fire; provided as a way listeners can help.
  If you want to help out my friends, there's a GoFundMe. just Google support rigs family after housefire. and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida.
• Fabraier — Product · Incidental · 6 mentions · first at 40:28
  Mentioned in the context of a story about a man who swallowed a Fabraier egg, highlighting the absurdity and luxury of the product.
  But you're still going TO CHARGE ME. YOU MEAN TO [ __ ] TELL ME cuz they say the same thing when they did 700 grand necklace that the guy shot out. They're all We cleaned it impeccably.
• drones — Product · 3 mentions · first at 19:28
  Times using these devices. So, the first thing they did was they sent in a swarm of drones because they're trying not to get anybody killed. They're trying to save the guy.…
• nunchucks — Product · 1 mention · first at 11:41
  Before him, nunchucks were just a chain and he put the two sticks on the end.
• tater tot hot dish — Product · 1 mention · first at 17:39
  Which I believe they which I do think it didn't work. They did put just a tater tot hot dish on the front stoop. They're going to come out, right? Because can't really you can't [ __ ] refuse a tater tot hot dish.
• hiking poles — Product · 1 mention · first at 22:21
  Yes. And for this guy it was and he got stuck in the quicksand. He had his two little hiking poles and he kept trying to push himself out and then it couldn't it wasn't working…
• Treadmill — Product · 1 mention · first at 22:34
  That's what I use. I go to a treadmill.
• pepper spray — Product · 1 mention · first at 46:26
  But he definitely he got charged for with that second degree manslaughter because he also poured pepper spray all over this guy's face and then shot him point blank in the chest.
• nitrous — Product · 1 mention · first at 57:19
  Yes. Absolutely. Nitrous for choking each other.
• smoke detector — Product · 1 mention · first at 1:02:01
  Yeah, it's very terrifying. It's very scary. I can't It's a It's a definite Put a smoke detector in your attic. anyone who's got a home that make it's an easy Christmas.
• Bombas socks — Product · 1 mention
• Fabergé egg — Product · 1 mention
• yarmulke — Product · 1 mention

Concepts & topics

• Christmas — Concept · 10 mentions · first at 20:26
  So yeah, another Christmas miracles wrapped up.
• Mormon — Concept · 3 mentions · first at 24:03
  This idiot angry father this [ __ ] Salt Lake City [ __ ] father you know that he was a [ __ ] evil Mormon too father is facing child torture and abuse charges after he took…
• Slender Man — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 6:38
  Insane asylum essentially be and still had visual delusions and spoke with Slenderman man.
• quicksand — Concept · 2 mentions · first at 22:05
  People hiking in ways they shouldn't be hiking. Hiking on by himself on like a 20hour hike and he fell into quicksand which is very rare. We were told again this is now like a…
• reality testing — Concept · 1 mention · first at 8:16
  They do when you have photorealistic things. They create this thing. So reality testing. So they gent gently explore discrepancies between your visions and reality. They say…
• safety planning — Concept · 1 mention · first at 8:30
  Does that really make sense? Or like oh okay like they gently prod right? Then it's safety planning ensuring the belief doesn't lead someone to act in a way that endangers…
• harm reduction — Concept · 1 mention · first at 8:58
  Right. Then there's harm reduction.
• functional stabilization — Concept · 1 mention · first at 9:22
  Of have them and move on and be able to talk about it. And then they call it functional stabilization, which is coping strategies, daily living skills, like all of that stuff.…
• thin blue line — Concept · 1 mention · first at 38:58
  They're supposed to go out there. That's what the thin blue line was supposed to mean. For all you cucks that fly that flag, I have no idea what the [ __ ] that [ __ ] means.
• Champagne — Concept · 1 mention · first at 45:48
  There are companies that I don't maybe I'm wrong. I believe Fabraier is kind of like how Champagne comes from Champagne Valley.
• Davy Jones's locker — Concept · 1 mention · first at 49:15
  And that's the thing about Davy Jones's locker.
• tanners — Concept · 1 mention · first at 52:43
  That's going on. one of the big things one update I wanted to give was first of all, we maligned tanners because tanners are bad.
• Tanner 88 — Concept · 1 mention · first at 53:29
• edge play — Concept · 1 mention · first at 55:13
  First and foremost, I'm an absolute freak. play heavily with kinks that are regarded as edge play. Edgeplay kinks fall into a category of kink where they could result in…
• breathing restriction — Concept · 1 mention · first at 55:33
  Word for having a fetish for putting one's life at risk. I do a lot of play around breathing restriction, drowning, extreme beatings, and other ridiculous [ __ ] that I won't…
• drowning — Concept · 1 mention · first at 55:33
  Word for having a fetish for putting one's life at risk. I do a lot of play around breathing restriction, drowning, extreme beatings, and other ridiculous [ __ ] that I won't…
• autoassassinophobia / assassinophilia — Concept · 1 mention
• BDSM — Concept · 1 mention
• CPR — Concept · 1 mention
• Jeet Kune Do — Concept · 1 mention
• OCD — Concept · 1 mention

Places & events

• Big Cottonwood Canyon — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 24:14
  Mentioned as the location where a father took his children on a dangerous hike during a winter storm, leading to a tragic incident.
  Salt Lake City [ __ ] father you know that he was a [ __ ] evil Mormon too father is facing child torture and abuse charges after he took his three small children on a long…
• Las Vegas — Place · Setting · 2 mentions · first at 0:24
  Hosts the live show the hosts returned from; referenced as the place they performed and enjoyed themselves.
  My name is Henry Sowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. we just came back from the [ __ ] best city on the face of the planet, Las Vegas.
• Portland — Place · Event location · 2 mentions · first at 4:07
  Hosts upcoming shows for the podcasters; call to action to buy remaining tickets.
  Las Vegas, Nevada. What an amazing time we had. And we just wanted to just say straight up, we got literally 10 tickets left for our Portland shows. Yes. Go and buy those tickets at lastodcast.com.
• Dubai — Place · Referenced news setting · 2 mentions · first at 11:59
  Mentioned in relation to a fraudster who went to Dubai and the story of crypto/scam items being dismembered and put in concrete; referenced as the place where additional fraud occurred.
  Yeah. And then he got out and then he went to Dubai to do more fraud.
• Austria — Place · Referenced news setting · 1 mention · first at 29:04
  Mentioned in reference to a manslaughter case where a climber left his girlfriend on Austria's highest peak and she froze to death.
  [ __ ] will. They have a they'll have a lot of notes to compare. Well, there's also, check this out, on the other side of the world, there's a dude facing manslaughter charges…
• New Zealand — Place · Referenced news origin · 1 mention · first at 40:06
  Referenced in relation to the story about someone swallowing a Fabergé-type egg / jewelry and subsequent recovery and valuation; mentioned in passing as region tied to such stories.
  It was the Texas man who swallowed the earrings. Texas.
• Tallahassee — Place · Setting · 1 mention · first at 1:02:51
  Mentioned as the location where a friend's house fire occurred.
  If you want to help out my friends, there's a GoFundMe. just Google support rigs family after housefire. and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida.
• Stamford — Place · 1 mention · first at 13:49
  Right. So, a man opened fire on Stamford police in Connecticut of all the places.
• Epic Universe — Place · 1 mention · first at 19:51
  Your big guns. The cops are finally here. It's all happening. It's like when Natalie got to go to Epic Universe. It's like it's all happening now. It's like I get to do it. And…
• Arkansas — Place · 1 mention · first at 21:09
  Exact almost copy of our buddy Ronnie Jean Simmons that we just covered in Arkansas last week where a guy killed his entire family. It's another family annihilation in Arkansas about a mile from where Ronnie Jean Simmons lived.
• Austria's highest peak — Place · 1 mention · first at 29:04
  Of the world, there's a dude facing manslaughter charges after leaving his girlfriend at the top of Austria's highest peak. 36year-old is now facing 3 years in prison. So, how…
• Coachella — Place · 1 mention · first at 33:26
  The fact that he went play Coachella.
• Wexford County — Place · 1 mention · first at 35:24
  Husband Bradley Bartholomew decided to become evil personified according to the Wexford County prosecutor Johanna Kerry by murdering their her daughter.
• Ocala, Florida — Place · 1 mention · first at 55:03
  Episode, the woman from the UK being murdered by the that beard face in Ocala, Florida, and wanting to answer some of Henry's questions about negotiating a murder.
• Oxnard — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:00:22
  It's not time yet. Hey, Champ wants everyone to come to Ed's standup show at Oxnard on January 4th, right Champ?
• Anchorage — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:00:53
  18th right before Henry and I head off to Alaska where we got side story shows in Anchorage. Almost sold out. So, if you want to come to the Anchorage Show, get your tickets now. And Fairbanks, there's plenty of tickets in Fairbanks.
• Fairbanks — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:00:57
  If you want to come to the Anchorage Show, get your tickets now. And Fairbanks, there's plenty of tickets in Fairbanks.
• United States of America — Place · 1 mention · first at 1:03:21
  Their life savings was gone. It was it's extremely brutal and the United States of America is not the kindest country right now and there's not a heck of a lot of safety nets…
• attic — Place · 1 mention
• Champagne (wine region) — Place · 1 mention
• Oakland Avenue — Place · 1 mention

Media & podcasts

• Slender Man — Character · Referenced concept / delusional figure · 1 mention · first at 8:36
  Mentioned as the hallucinated figure involved in Morgan Geyser's delusions; used to discuss therapy approaches to persistent visual/auditory hallucinations.
• Genghask Khan — Character · Comedic reference · 2 mentions · first at 7:20
  Mentioned in passing as part of an absurd comedic aside; likely a mispronunciation/play on Genghis Khan used for humor.
  Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You and me both. Oh, I just talked to Genghask Khan this morning. He's great. Right. All right. Well, see, I got to go to soup's on. I don't get that one. I like that thick soup. I like that thick insane.
• Weezer — Media · Referenced band · 2 mentions · first at 33:14
  Mentioned in passing in a joke about a band member's spouse filing for divorce; used as a pop-culture reference in the conversation.
  We the Weezer basis wife who got shot by the police.

Sponsors

• lastodcast.com — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 4:11
  Straight up, we got literally 10 tickets left for our Portland shows. Yes. Go and buy those tickets at lastodcast.com.
• patreon.com/lastbotodcast — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 58:56
  Go check us at patreon.com/lastbotodcast and left to watch us do this.
• Vampire the Masquerade (LPN RPG) — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 59:37
  And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV. Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best [ __ ] we've made in a long time. It is going.
• support rigs family after housefire — Sponsor · 1 mention · first at 1:02:53
  If you want to help out my friends, there's a GoFundMe. just Google support rigs family after housefire. and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida.

Full transcript with timestamps

0:01 There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started.

0:12 Side stories. Yes. You know what? I'm disappointed what in us about. What did we do

0:23 this weekend? What did we fail at? I thought we killed Vegas. We did nothing but crush. But you know what? We completely forgot to talk about

0:30 what? Paul Anka confirming the fact that Frank Sinatra has a big hog. Well, of course Frank Sinatra has a big hog.

0:37 But you know what also was crazy that I did not know that Paul Anka also confirmed Joey Bishop had a vagina.

0:44 Oh, really? Yeah. You know Buck Angel? Oh, it's interesting because the Bishop is the chest piece most likely to [ __ ]

0:53 with the slit in it. Yeah, that's the penis. It's got a cleft in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

0:56 Right. It's got a little just like just like a a what one would call the openings of a female or a vagina.

1:02 But it looks also looks like a penis head. Yes. Sure. In many truly androgynous.

1:08 Wow. So Joey Bishop that I that's what they cut it out of the interview. I guess because Paul Inca at that point was starting to drool out of the side of his face and one drop of blood

1:17 was coming out of his fake left eye cuz he did that to copy Sammy. Yes. Um, and so when that starts to happen, oh, they know Paul's got to go to sleep. All right. Because obviously Paul Ananka, he's been up to it because now he's

1:31 he put it he put it in his documentary that Frank Sinatra has a big penis. It's your documentary. Don't talk about how big is the dick that you got to talk about it in your own documentary.

1:42 I think that Paul Anka might have a bit of a hanker for Frank Sinatras. Maybe he did a little yanka on that. He might have.

1:53 I think he must have and he absolutely did. Oh, look at him kissing him again. The biggest revelation. Joey Bishop, trans icon. Nobody knew that before.

2:04 Uh, it's amazing to even think about and I wish we could have seen it. Yeah. Dean Martin, horrible flatulence problem. They used to call him Dean Farton.

2:12 I know that. I heard that. And also the alcoholism was exaggerated. It was exaggerated, but he did die early. He do. But hey,

2:21 cuz that's what a real man does. Welcome to Side Stories. Do you know Dean Martin once bought my mom 10 scotches?

2:28 What? Just to She was at a She was at a Dean Martin show and he's like And she's like he asked her what she was drinking cuz she was all hot and by herself,

2:37 was she? Yes. And then back then Yeah. Oh my god, my mom was real hot. And then uh you got to see these old pictures. I got to send them to you. You're going to love them. We How hot are we talking?

2:49 I mean, she's pretty smoking hot. What? Yeah. Oh, no. Your mother? My mother was smoking hot. Yeah. And then the Polish set in

2:58 eventually that Baboo does change, doesn't it? There's something about that. Where did Baboo come from?

3:04 But yeah, he sent her uh 10 scotches one night. Well, what a great Either that or she was lying to me my whole life, which is very possible.

3:10 I love your It is very It is very possible she was lying to me. I know she's lying to you. She went to Vegas by herself. Yeah. No one else is there to witness the story.

3:19 I know. She's lying. She had to have been lying. Yes. She met a man named like Saul Lanka.

3:25 YEAH. YOU BE LIKE NOTHING. SHE DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT OH, YEAH. It was It was Dean Martin.

3:31 Yeah. Dean Dean Mutton. Dean Mutton. Like Yeah. That Oh, everyone love that greasy guy from

3:37 I'd say my mom looked most like the chick on the bottom to the right. That's really You're giving your mom a lot of credit, but I'll see those pictures. I'll send them to you.

3:45 All right. Well, great. My name is Henry Sowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Uh, we just came back from the [ __ ] best city on the face of the planet, Las Vegas.

3:56 True. But I did have fun. It is the only honest city in the union. Las Vegas, Nevada. What an amazing time we had. And we just wanted to just say straight up, we got literally 10 tickets left for our Portland shows. Yes. Go and buy those tickets at lastodcast.com. We have two. They will be then completely sold out and we will finally finally mean something to our families.

4:20 Please, please. Oh, yeah. I actually very excited for Portland. Yeah. It's a great city.

4:25 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's got all my friend I got a bunch of friends there. My friend Ellie's there. She

4:28 got people coming to the show. Oh, yeah. I got people coming to the show. Portland's one of the best cities. Another actually really fun city.

4:34 I hope we have enough comps left. Usually we don't sell out and I'm like, "Yeah, sure. Whoever wants to come."

4:38 No, no, no, no, not this time, Eddie. No. Wow. This time we got almost no room.

4:42 Well, I hope so. So, I hope we'll be okay. I hope so. Either way, they could stand outside in the cold. Couldn't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] Eddie. Couldn't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] No, it's not true. I love our family. I love our friends. All right, so we have a bit of a update. I actually got a very First of all, love it when someone gives us credit. So, thank you. Uh, someone said that they actually appreciated our coverage of the Morgan Geyser story.

5:06 My god, I was really worried about it. Same. Really, very, very, very uh worried about that, but I got a very interesting. How many hate messages did we get?

5:13 Just a couple. Okay. But it's normal. The normal amount. It's just normal because we're still trying to figure out

5:20 kind of where we're like we are. When you listen to side stories, I I can't really stress enough. You're listening to two nearly mid40s white men.

5:30 I am mid-40s. Yeah, you are now officially. We are we're trying to learn and get involved and not be too scared of different things.

5:43 Yeah. But if a little girl stabs another little girl a bunch of times, we unfortunately have to talk about it.

5:48 No, no, no. That's not the problem. The problem is because people felt that you were very you were almost too considerate of Morgan Geyser's feelings. A lot of people kind of agreed on the other side that Morgan Geyser because one message I got was very interesting about the idea of kids learning to be like we say the words manipulative inside of these sort of social homes, but really it's adapting to having no power in a situation in which they're they're surrounded by authority figures. They're already troubled. They're going to naturally do certain things. Just what happens. But one thing I found that was interesting that I did not know cuz we were saying one thing that freaked us out about Morgan Geyser was that she was let into the halfway home out of the insane asylum essentially be and still had visual delusions and spoke with Slenderman man.

6:39 It's not good. Especially the halfway house. It's No, no, no, no. But I did not actually understand that that is a part of the therapy. So they don't fight delusions. I got this from an uh this is a uh mental health workers guide, right? This is someone who works at they do any this is a bit of a clinical context to what going on and I thought this was really interesting is that when people have audio and visual hallucinations as a part of a schizophrenia diagnosis a part of what you're trying to do is create a grounding sensation within those delusions.

7:11 Okay. So they not just trying to get the conversation to end. Yeah, he's real. I got to get to lunch.

7:18 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You and me both. Oh, I just talked to Genghask Khan this morning. He's great. Right. All right. Well, see, I got to go to soup's on. I don't get that one. Um I like that thick soup. I like that thick insane asylum soup. But no, it's what you do is you you can't just say the delusions aren't real cuz it makes them like kind of inversely dig in more, which is something I

7:40 It's like when someone's dating someone horrible and you tell them they were horrible and they just runs them into their arms. I think that's a simple that's a good simple way to put it. Or it's like when I have OC like in my OCD diagnosis, what they learned was is that instead of self soothing during moments of high anxiety, just feel the anxiety.

7:58 How come you don't wash your hands if you're OCD? Because it's I'm going to [ __ ] punch you in the face.

8:04 [ __ ] attack it. I do wash my hands actually till they bleed. But that's different. It's called being a traveling comedian. And so this is this is what they do when you have photorealistic things. They create this thing. So reality testing. So they gent gently explore discrepancies between your visions and reality. They say stuff like

8:25 does that really make sense? Or like oh okay like they gently prod right? Then it's safety planning ensuring the belief doesn't lead someone to act in a way that endangers themselves or others. So you get as LONG AS SLENDER MAN'S JUST hanging out

8:39 and and just being stuff like being like I actually think that a smashing machine was fine.

8:45 You know what I mean? Like like that's fine. Right. Like you can have you can have a rational discussion about your critical response to smashing machine.

8:53 I think it was fine. Yes. I think it was entirely fine. Right. Then there's harm reduction. Helping the client manage the delusion rather than eradicate it. Cuz that's the idea too. harm reduction is that it's very difficult to get rid of fullon video and aual audio hallucinations. Apparently, even with medication talk therapy, it's extremely difficult. So, basically, you have to figure out a way to create it so that they can just kind of have them and move on and be able to talk about it. And then they call it functional stabilization, which is coping strategies, daily living skills, like all of that stuff. So, I did not know that you can then that's really what they're seeking. It's not total cure in order to be moved in one of these facilities. Also, the fact that when she was she got released for attempted murder at 23, that's very common. That's actually pretty much a boilerplate like age in which something

9:45 like this happens. That's what I was concerned about. Yes. But they do because it's it was an attempted murder, but now we're seeing that it was a bit too premature. But that that so now we now know everyone's going to go right back into it. They say essentially the Oh, this is a really interesting term. The presence of a delusion doesn't define risk. Behavior does. So, it's all how you behave. You behave

10:08 towards the delusion. Well, now she has a a name for a sketch comedy group in the mental asylum. H

10:15 schizophrenia. Oh, wow. I should save that for when I'm in a [ __ ] mental institution.

10:24 That's my turn. That's when I'm teaching. You know what? When I'm teaching improv in the in the mental institution.

10:29 Yeah. Do you think that like, you know, in these kind of cases, like obviously we're not going to do this, but like the best way to keep someone safe would be just like remove their fingers because then they wouldn't be able to stab anybody.

10:41 Side story loot@gmail.com. Is that a good way to stop? Is that a good WAY TO SOMEONE STABS someone a bunch?

10:48 Can we not going to stop? They're not going to stop stabbing people. I think they're going to bite their tits. That's what I think they're going to do. I think they're going to bite their drug dealer. I think use their [ __ ] teeth. I think if you got rid of a murderer's hands, they just not

11:00 they still have the hands, just not the fingers. Palms. Yes. Again, can still use things.

11:06 Yes, palms is enough. Mhm. Palms was definitely enough. Have you seen Bruce Lee?

11:11 Oh, he's all Palm. I miss him. Me, too. Whatever happened to him? I think that he got sick.

11:18 He was cursed. He was cursed because he gave away his ancient Chinese secrets. That's the truth. He gave away his ancient secrets and he was cursed because of it. Because he gave us uh what was it? Jiu-jitsu. Not jiu-jitsu. What was his thing?

11:30 Kundu. Jet Kundu. Jet Kundu is he made his made his own karate and then when he did that that's that was problem.

11:36 Yeah. Cuz guess what? Pioneers die with the footsteps of others on their back. Before him, nunchucks were just a chain and he put the two sticks on the end.

11:45 Yep. It was just nunchucks was just what I did when I poisoned the convent. Well, that's an update. All right, here we go. Let me just go because the Dubai update Dubai update thing is just confu just confirming that that crypto scanner got cut up into a bunch of pieces.

12:06 Yeah. And they put them in concrete and now they they found the concrete and I guess they broke apart out their concrete. I would have loved it.

12:11 Just bury the concrete. Well, they did, I think, and then they found the buried concrete.

12:15 I mean, after the fact. Yeah. Leaving the concrete. I mean, I would have loved to hear about like obviously we would never hear about this, but like thousands of years down the road that someone finds the concrete that opens it up. It's like, huh, pieces of people. Oh my god. Yeah. They'd be like, "Oh, in ancient times, they used to make people into a salad."

12:32 Normally when now this is how they knew this was an important person of the 2025s is that he was they were no they always turned them into an ambrosia salad.

12:41 Oh man. I didn't know he had um he'd already been arrested for being a fraudster.

12:45 Good. Yeah. And then he got he got out and then he went to Dubai to do more fraud.

12:50 That's what happens. He can't [ __ ] around with these guys. You get one chance. What did you teach me about drug dealing, Eddie? It's not about if you get caught, it's when you get caught. Yes. All these guys, same thing. If you get a chance to get out and you've made a you made your nut, you stay the [ __ ] out. All right. You don't need that other score.

13:08 I really think I got caught at the exact right time. You really did. And I honestly say thank you.

13:13 Yes. I thank you for what what happened. Yes, I know. But my friends, they had a they had a rougher time.

13:19 Yes. So, they had Well, yeah, they were treated horribly by the Florida police.

13:22 I love you guys. I love you both, man. Love you, Paul. I'm sorry that it happened to you. You didn't deserve that.

13:28 All right. No matter what you did. Bleep his name. He's got a career and a child.

13:32 Oh, yeah. Go. You don't want You don't want Keep it in, but bleep his name. Well, at least he's not this guy. So, this is this was a new story that I uh found. And again, there's just something about homemade Nazi uniform that makes me laugh.

13:48 Yes. Right. So, a man opened fire on Stamford police in Connecticut of all the places. And he uh he had an hoursl long standoff.

13:56 I'm surprised there aren't more Nazis in Connecticut. Why? All the whites up there.

14:00 You'd be surprised. Connecticut's a lot more diverse than you think it is. There's lots of poor whites up there,

14:04 but there's also a lot of people that aren't white. I know that. Shockingly. I know that. Shockingly, actually where there's more, to be honest, more of a present of this is in our humble uh Northern California.

14:16 Oh, Northern California is uh littered. They It's kind of made for it. They love it over there.

14:21 Yeah. Lots of lots of trees that they could take and make crosses out of. So, here we go. These [ __ ] right? So, apparently they got called the police got a search warrant in a home, right? Because I I guess there was a complaint. Um, the incident on December 2nd began when a state marshal, it came to this home in Oaklan Avenue. He came to evict this guy.

14:41 Yes, that's what the problem was, of course. Right. It makes sense. It's very, very upsetting. It's very, very upsetting. But I'm going to say this, guys. No matter how whatever bad things happen to you financially in the real estate world, there's no reason to go Nazi over it.

14:58 Yes. You know, I hate eviction, especially this time of year. I think it's the worst thing in the world that anyone could do. But as soon as a homemade Nazi uniform comes into play, suddenly I don't care.

15:09 So it starts to be like suddenly I don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. As a landlord, I'm like, "Oh, maybe you need to get the [ __ ] out of there." Right. And so um the lady the dude came out. So the cops came Jed Parkington. Joe Jed Parkington definitely that's the exactly what he did.

15:23 Yeah. He parked in that house until they shot him in the until he shot himself in the head. And so, first of all, he sent his wife out like a real [ __ ] coward. He sent his wife and dog out.

15:32 Actually, I thought it was nice. Well, I don't know. He could have. It was It was either that or he kills him.

15:37 He's lucky that they didn't light up on the [ __ ] wife and all the kind of [ __ ] cuz he had parking dog. They let him out of the house. Parking. So, they cops came, they see.

15:46 He knew he was going to have a standoff and he's like, "Wife, honestly, this is the little credit that I'm going to give this man." And he's like, "Wife, get out of the house. I'm going to shoot all these cops. You don't want to be around for this." He's been wanting to do this since he was 18 years old.

15:59 He's been planning. Yeah. So, he came to the door. He was wearing a uniform shirt and a utility belt with items attached. He had explosive devices. Look, he had grenades on him and a giant SWAT stick. And the uh he sent the wife out, right? Cuz then he said uh he pushed her out the door and they heard him saying, "Take her someplace safe. This is not going to end well.

16:22 This is not going to end well." And so she pushed her out. Because like I feel like even as

16:28 worst thing to hear in a standoff, but I would I would say as your wife, right? I I I was read I think Coco Chanel said this. The idea that when you leave the house every day, remove one accessory.

16:39 Yes. Right. Cuz that's fashion, right? I think I'm a wife. If it was a good good wife,

16:45 you know what you say to your husband? Do whatever you're going to do. Take that swat stick off. Okay. I'm not dealing with this.

16:51 She sewed it on. I'M NOT NO. OH, NO. He did. I I know this is Jed's plan. Mhm. And Jed got the Nazi insignia. He finally has been waiting on it. He purchased it on eBay a year ago.

17:05 What if it was embroidered? Oh, he's in there too deep. Uh this man bought a Chinese-made swat sticker flag, MY FRIEND.

17:12 OH, YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. This man's not doing this isn't a patriot. Yeah. You know, this guy's buying it from over there.

17:18 Impartial China. Yeah. They love They love our little pecadillos, don't they? I love what we got going on over here. So, he then uh barricaded himself inside. He was They thought he was armed. He was. They brought in a hostage negotiation team. And so, what they first tried to do, which I believe they uh which I do think it didn't work. They did put just a tater tot hot dish on the the front stoop. They're going to come out,

17:44 right? Because can't really you can't [ __ ] refuse a tater tot hot dish. No. And then um

17:50 Oh, you bastards. But he said something about how tater tots are the jews of the potatoes.

17:54 Whoa. Which I did not know. Yeah. And I didn't think about it like that. Well, if you take the top of a tater tot and you put it on top of a potato, it kind of looks like a yamako.

18:04 Interesting. That's a fat person thought. That's a fat That's a fat person thought. And so they he said no to that, I guess. Then they said stuff like, you know, oh, okay, come out here. We all hate the Jews out here. Like I don't know what they try to get him out. I don't know what they how how do you try to get this guy out? You go like, "Oh, great swatsa, buddy."

18:21 Yeah, man. That's what's If I HAD A SWATA, THAT'D BE THE ONE I'D HAVE, TOO, BUDDY. But that's like How do you get him out?

18:28 Yeah. This is just normal SWAT, not SWAT to come. Just listen. I wish it was. I wish we could be. All right, but you know, everybody gets touchy about exes over here. All right, buddy.

18:42 He uh So, he had his hostage. They called in the hostage negotiators, but he's his only hostage.

18:48 That's very normal. Just holding a gun to his head in a house. The hostage negotiators just come out there and say, "No don't."

18:55 I mean, honestly, I know the whole process. I'm surprised they didn't light up the house.

19:00 Well, it's because they're trying not to Eddie. But they he was lighting the car up.

19:04 They shot up the cop car. Honestly, Eddie, anytime when they do this and they actually manage to not shoot up the house, I'm pretty proud of them. I am proud of them, but I'm just very surprised.

19:14 It's nor it's way more normal. I feel like they were in their gh, this is a hard thing to say. They were in their rights to shoot up the house.

19:22 They tried to breach the house several times using these devices. So, the first thing they did was they sent in a swarm of drones because they're trying not to get anybody killed. They're trying to save the guy. They are like, so the drones come in. He shot out all the drones, which is the funnest way to die.

19:38 That's first thing he said. the first thing he's done that I'm like all about. How fun is that? You got your fun little swatsagon. You got you finally use all your big guns. The cops are finally here. It's all happening. It's like when Natalie got to go to Epic Universe. It's like it's all happening now. It's like I get to do it. And so he's shooting at drones. That's the coolest thing an old man ever gets to do.

20:02 Future ski shooting. Yes. And then he did the same thing that all old [ __ ] bastards love to do, too. and he put a gun in his mouth, blew his brains out,

20:10 and then they sent in another drone and saw it. Yep. And then that drone's traumatized.

20:14 Yeah, that poor drone. It whole family got killed by this guy. This is like the worst version of Batteries Not Included I've ever seen.

20:26 So yeah, another Christmas miracles wrapped up. This is NOT GOING TO END. WELL,

20:32 I WAS RIGHT. I THINK THE LAST THING YOU SAID, I was right. You know, I know the one thing I'll say,

20:40 he should have saved it to Christmas. Yeah, cuz then I could have covered it. Yeah.

20:45 You know, what are you gonna do? I don't know. It's the season. It's the season of hold yourself hostage.

20:52 Absolutely. We just covered a family annihilator, which seems to be a running topic that we do around the Christmas season here. Uh,

20:59 we got a couple stories that seem like they LINE UP PRETTY WELL. We had an an exact almost copy of our buddy Ronnie Jean Simmons uh that we just covered in Arkansas last week where a guy killed his entire family. It's another family annihilation in Arkansas about a mile from where Ronnie Jean Simmons lived.

21:17 Sounds interesting. It has been interesting. So a mile just now. One mile. That's the same town.

21:24 I mean I guess it's just like there. I walk miles. So just one mile is the same town.

21:30 You bragging? Yeah, I'm bragging. I'm out here. I'm walking two to three miles. Boy, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. CUTTING UP this turf. These hocas ain't [ __ ] They're working, dude. They're earning their money.

21:43 Walking a full 45 minutes. I'm tired. There was another drone story. I'm just going to talk about it briefly cuz I'm just there's so many connecting stories in a weird way this week. And there was another there was a drone story where a guy was hiking by himself. a lot of people hiking in ways they shouldn't be hiking. Hiking on by himself on like a 20hour hike and he fell into quicksand which is very rare. We were told again this is now like a meme but we were told as kids that quick quicksand was going to be a thing.

22:17 Yes. And for this guy it was and he got stuck in the quicksand. He had his two little hiking poles and he kept trying to push himself out and then it couldn't it wasn't working and then his knee got bent back and it was touching his foot and he was stuck in the quicksand. He was [ __ ] And then someone heard him screaming because he was in like a little gorge and they sent in drones. They found him. They pulled him out. That's why I use a treadmill.

22:36 Yes. That's what I use. I go to a treadmill. I stay inside. I don't go out there. The idea of falling into quicksand and then ever going outside ever again. Can you imagine that? Like cuz that's such a cuz like that's such an anxietyinducing idea for the rest of time then.

22:52 Yeah. I would hate as a Do you think he's ever going back to REI? Like he's like he's like these poles are defective.

22:59 [ __ ] THESE POLES. THESE POLES ALMOST KILLED ME. LIKE HIM OUTSIDE the REI just being like they almost killed me. They were a polar anchor on me.

23:11 Oh yeah, that's he needs Sinatra's disembodied pull out from the sky. I uh can I

23:19 I blame him. Well, yeah. I mean he's walking in a gorge and like I am watching this. This is not where humans should be. Those rescue proced how many thousands of dollars that cost?

23:30 Oh, he's paying for it. No, you pay for these rescues. Do you? Oh, yeah. Remember when we were on top of the hill a mountain in Hawaii and I was like I was scared and he's like 70,000 for a copter ride.

23:41 We're like, let's keep walking. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember that. Oh, we'll tumble down.

23:44 Yeah. Uh but yeah, there's two other um crazy hiking things that happen. My favorite one is this one because this is the

23:53 god just father just angry angry angry this idiot angry father this [ __ ] Salt Lake City [ __ ] father you know that he was a [ __ ] evil Mormon too father is facing child torture and abuse charges after he took his three small children on a long stranger strenuous hike during a winter storm in Big Cottonwood Canyon and they had to be rescued You you know you think nice dad's out taking the kids out for a walk. You know they're going to have a good time. THEY'RE GOING ON A HIKE.

24:26 [ __ ] WE'RE GOING TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN. THE THE KIDS were two four and eight.

24:31 GET THE [ __ ] UP. GET UP. PUT THAT ROBLOX DOWN. IT'S FILLED WITH PEDOPHILES. WE'RE GOING TO THE PEAK OF THE MOUNTAIN. WE'RE GOING TO KISS GOD ON THE MOUTH.

24:40 Micah Smith, 31 years old, was told by his wife to please do not do this. Please don't. Please, please. And he's like, "This is a once in a-lifetime thing." And she said she was scared. He told her, "You shall not pass." He like started quoting Gandalf to his 8-year-old.

25:00 As she was like, "Are we there's literally he was filming her asking if she was going to freeze to death. This guy is such a scumbag." And then and then he left all three. He left the eight-year-old in charge of the other TWO AND [ __ ] LEFT.

25:17 YEAH, MAN. Had to. He had to [ __ ] go. And I guess he had to secure help. Well, yes, because the kid the the 2-year-old died and then he gave it CPR and it came back to life. And then the other kid when the other kid was dying, he started giving that kid CPR. He had the 8-year-old push it on their [ __ ] chest and [ __ ]

25:34 And then he goes and he totally redeems himself in prison when he kills another pedophile. Yeah. That's the only thing he could do today. But think about how like even as a you know just as a a dog father right you know like I just have one you got to give one medication you got the other one is fighting for the food right it's like all day so I can see that yeah of course when they're all dying you got to put the eighty old to work especially if she's still functioning like that's easy to do you go bring one kid to life

26:05 yesoo bring another kid to life snowman honestly this father crushed it in a way he brought the kids six and a half miles, which is more than twice as far as I walk.

26:16 You heard how tired Eddie is. It's like I 3,000 ft elevation. The rocks are shifting, thorny bushes. This guy brought HIS CHILDREN TO DIE.

26:29 He October. He brought them at night. They got caught in a downpour of snow, hail, and rain. When they did not return, they had to go look for them. He said Smith and his children took shelter at around 8:00 p.m. that evening under a large rock with an overhang. Smith said he gathered logs, sticks, and rocks to make a windcreen and put pine needles down and try to use his body to keep his children warm. And the whole time he's like, "God, [ __ ] your mother's going to be so [ __ ] angry with me. Oh man, I'm going to have to do extra time at the temple this week. Oh wow, my secret underwear's frozen in my chest."

27:05 Yeah, man. This dude [ __ ] they gave him no bail. And the uh the deputy said the defendant's intentional and selfish act left his children in grave danger with one of them dying and being revived multiple times and will never fully recover.

27:21 Wow. He has been charged with domestic violence. Uhhuh. And then he was told to leave Primary Children's Hospital for trespassing.

27:29 Yes. after he interfered with his four-year-old son's he was tampering with the equipment that was on his face.

27:36 That was a month before this incident happened. And he's a full Mormon. He's a full [ __ ] dumb Mormon.

27:43 He told the police, "I'm going to hike to the top of a mountain." A month ago, he told them this.

27:49 Yeah. He was trying to kill themselves. I think his brother though is sticking by his side. He says Mike is a good dad who loves his kids and loves taking them on adventures.

27:57 Yeah, it's cuz he's No, he was trying to kill them all. I think he was trying to kill them all. I bet you this is another one.

28:02 This isn't an adventure, by the way. No, that's not AN ADVENTURE. AN ADVENTURE IS GOING TO AN amusement park. An adventure is We went fishing. Me and my dad went we went fishing and we went and got ice cream after we went fishing. That's a wonderful time.

28:16 I didn't take a two and a fouryear-old climbing 6.5 miles, 3,000 ft in the air.

28:22 And guess what, bro? They're just going to slow you down. Yeah. Yeah. And this guy is like he's You know what it is, though? is again this is another Salt Lake City story in which I am more than certain they're cutting the religious aspect of out of it because they always do that. They always kind of cut the fact that there's a large unspoken that they're praying to some mountain that be that Brigham Young was on top of or something.

28:43 Just this idea that he has some special communication with a Mormon offshoot god.

28:48 Well, good. He can go have that communication with Chad Del now. Oh, they will. Oh, don't worry. They [ __ ] will. They have a they'll have a lot of notes to compare. Well, there's also, check this out, on the other side of the world, there's a dude facing manslaughter charges after leaving his girlfriend at the top of Austria's highest peak. 36year-old is now facing 3 years in prison. So, how so what is the st what is the actual circumstances of this? Did they get caught? Did he just dump her? He they went they they they climbed 12,460 ft. She did not have the proper gear.

29:26 He's an experienced climber. She is not. They get to the top. She's got like felt shoes on, you know? They're not like It's negative 20.

29:34 When we went our hike and both of us were wearing sneakers and the guy's like, "Are you sure you want to wear those?" And we're like, "You weren't? We didn't know.

29:40 No one told us anything." Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But this was very different cuz they went together and he [ __ ] she gets cold. He doesn't know what to do with her. He then leaves her to go get help when she then freezes to death, of course, because it's -20 Celsius.

29:57 So, he's just like, "Just chill out." Yeah, literally. Just chill out. Stay right here. I'm going to be right back.

30:05 You know, here you go. Here's your iPad. Yeah. Yeah. What is he doing here? Yeah. Apparent apparently he's uh very sorry about how things TURNED OUT.

30:12 WELL, HEY, THAT HONESTLY, as y'all know, as y'all ladies know, having a guy apologize Marry him.

30:20 Yeah, man. Oh my god. Oh [ __ ] girl. Yeah, he's doing the work. Yeah, he's putting in the work. I'm sorry being Quinton Tarantino right now. He putting in the work, girl.

30:29 Man, I love everyone running his ass through the [ __ ] dirt this week. WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, SON? WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, SON? ME, Quinton T. Tarantino. Geez, son. I'm doing this is a direct reference to Quenton Tarantino very confidently speaking with Jamie Fox and Samuel Jackson and a and the press coverage for Django Unchained and he is he's on jacked out of his mind

30:56 and he loves talking like a black guy and it's like but I DO IN SOME WAY I DO FEEL LIKE he feel he felt in that moment that he was black he was wrong.

31:06 Yeah. He just made this movie about slavery. Yeah. And he was amongst a very powerful group of black people and he felt very much in he was feeling himself.

31:16 Yes, he really was. He really was. He really really was. Man, I really honestly I'm at the point now where I don't even care if that 10th movie comes out.

31:23 Honestly, so far he uh I am an unapologetic fullon Quinton Tarantino fan. I love every single

31:29 I mean his movies are great. I love every single one of his movies. I hate the man.

31:33 I never want to hang out with him. Isn't that weird? I'll never meet him. I'll never want to meet him. Thank but I I've now learned that about celebrities. Yeah.

31:41 I don't want to meet them anymore. I never want to meet them. I don't want to hear their thoughts. I don't want to be in their personal sphere. Just give me your stuff. Go away. When Tarantino that 10th movie, even the last one, he was thinking about making a movie about a movie critic. And I was like, "You're so full of [ __ ] buddy. You need to go walk away.

31:59 That's what you're gonna end all this on. You need to touch grass." I think that's the term that he I think that's the term. I think he needs to go out there and he needs to [ __ ] go. He needs to go walk away from seeing himself on a camera.

32:09 Well, he's he's working on the sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood because, you know, everybody wants to see that.

32:14 Well, it's a it's a TV show. Oh my god. And David Finch is going to direct it. It's going to bomb. I think it's honestly I think it's going to [ __ ] bomb. I think it's going to not be very good, but you know what are you going to do?

32:24 Yeah. Well, um so we got what do we got here? We got this people who cut the baby out of somebody.

32:30 Well, this is a really brutal and then we got the other guy who cut up his wife. See, everything's like weirdly, again, it's Christmas season. As we're heading into the holidays, you notice the stories do tend to get more grizzly. It's hard out there right now. This is a I'm just going to go through the details of this story. I don't know everything. Natalie's fully inconceeded in this.

32:52 Okay, good. It's still very much developing. Natalie and I both have our separate true crime stories going at all times, right? So, like when I was

32:59 We can't take this from her. No, I don't want to. But also, this is the She was I was I heard this from the other room, but I was like, "What the fuck?" And she's just like, "Yeah, this is a grizzly one." Cuz like I was all too into guess who just filed for divorce.

33:13 Who? We the Weezer basis wife who got shot by the police. SHE FILED FOR FILED FOR DIVORCE.

33:20 WHAT? She filed divorce on him. He's not supporting me. I shot at the police and he's not supporting me.

33:26 The fact that he went play Coachella. Yeah, because he was paying for your court [ __ ] money. That that's what he did. You [ __ ] crazy person. Jillian Laura and files for divorce. It's fine. It's fine. It's all good. I I know that she wrote a really interesting book about Samuel Little and she's done quite a bit for uh uh you know, awareness of, you know, all that kind of stuff. Really good investigator of true crime, but she is a

33:48 I mean, he's going to get out Scott clean Scott free here. No, she wants he's not going to owe her anything after

33:54 no fault state, my friend. No fault state. Oh, yeah. like no fault like including shooting guns at cops. It's got nothing new to the divorce. I would say it does. We'll find out. We'll find out. I actually don't know. Side stories loot@gmail.com. What are the type of aggravating circumstances during divorce can actually because

34:11 she's going to be in prison. California's no she won't. No, she got let off with probation. She just had to go do a a treatment program. She got no time. She shot at the police and got shot by the police. They essentially decided to call that even attempted murder of a police officer. She shot in the sky.

34:30 White lady did wear. It's called a white lady power. She's got a little bit of white lady juice. So, she used it. Uh, but this these people did not use their white lady juice. This is a story.

34:41 These cops are lucky they weren't in the garage. Can we keep moving? Oh, yes. Here we go. You're right.

34:46 Courtney Bartholomew. That is a really funny Weezer joke. Thank you. in the garage. Happy.

35:00 It's a great song. Yeah, she s she hates that song. There we go. In backyard. I shot it. That gives a weird out.

35:13 Uh, so this both these people could have used a little bit of chill. Courtney Bartholomew 40 and for 47year-old husband Bradley Bartholomew decided to uh become evil personified according to the Wexford County prosecutor Johanna Kerry by murdering their her daughter. So it was Courtney Bartholomew's daughter uh and removing the baby from inside of her while she was still alive.

35:39 Mhm. And then did the baby live? It's not very clear if the baby lived or not, but

35:44 No, the baby died. the baby died. She was supposed to give birth just a couple days afterwards.

35:49 So, were they just And that's whyed they were looking for Is that what you're trying to say? That she was They're excited.

35:55 I'm just stating facts. I'm not say I'm not giving them any kind of these people are monsters.

36:02 Oh, YOU DON'T THINK THEY HAD A You don't think they had a straight motivation? Yeah.

36:06 You don't think so? I don't know. Other than like them just taking the baby and leaving her for dead. I don't know what the [ __ ] the plan was.

36:12 All right. Here we go. Here we go. Autopsy. Autopsy. Real. The body was Parks, so the child was due to give birth to three days. The same day the body was discovered, authorities arrested Parks's fiance, Richard Valor, an Kimberly Park. So everybody tried to kill her. So her mother and her stepfather, her fiance,

36:30 good [ __ ] Lord, and his sister. And I I don't know why. I mean, even if she's the worst person on earth.

36:38 No, I mean, there you don't do this. Even if she's little Hitler, you don't do this. You know, like it's crazy.

36:46 Had posted a video on her Facebook page in the same day as her daughter. This is all from People magazine, by the way. That's is this is what they cover now. And it was due to give birth with a caption that read, "My alibi of where I was the night my daughter came up missing."

36:59 Right. So, that's what the mother posted. She then um in the video, which featured only a black screen with audio, her 14-year-old son said, "This is the uh this is uh her brother.

37:09 She gave me my meds at about 8:40. I don't remember a lot as I just said, but she was there when I went to bed and she was also there when I woke up the next day. I know that she never goes out and about when I'm sleeping just because she doesn't like to drive at night. So, she thought that she could pressure a 14-year-old into giving her an alibi.

37:24 Yes. On Facebook and it didn't work. Yeah, man. Yeah. But they're all now going to jail going to jail.

37:30 They're going to go to jail hard. But you know what it is? is that well like again there's no discernable motive but the reason why we try to pick it apart is because we do try to find some semblance of like what's going on in there what's a little bean brain thinking about what's that little kind of little little nugget in there thinking about right ping ponging back and forth with your little ideas you know and it turns out a lot of times uh once you find them out it doesn't help

37:55 yes which is kind of sad because we're just interested but cops always say that don't they in every interrogation They're always like, "We're here to find out why because we want to know.

38:06 We want to help you. We want to help you. We're so genuinely curious curious about why." And why almost never seems to affect the court case.

38:15 No. Also, we don't hear about when they actually do help people. Oh, no. Well, I you know, we're obviously we know that police officers are having they have a hard job. They also a lot of times abuse their power.

38:30 Oh, yes. Absolutely. But we also know that they cops do help, but that's their job is to be helped. Their job is to help and not thank that not be thanked. That's what their [ __ ] job is.

38:41 Yeah. They get paid to do it. They're they get paid. That is their [ __ ] job. They serve the community. They're supposed to go out there. Unfortunately, it sucks for police, but it's also the truth. Their jobs are to get shot and to do things to protect us and because and they're not supposed to have judgments about their own activity. They're supposed to go out there. That's what the thin blue line was supposed to mean. For all you cucks that fly that flag, I have no idea what the [ __ ] that [ __ ] means.

39:04 There you go. Yeah, that was very well said. Yeah, that's very well said. Uh, yeah. So, um, [ __ ] these people.

39:10 Yep. All right. Piece of [ __ ] This lady did. Well, yeah. Obviously, she's not a nice piece of [ __ ]

39:14 Yeah, she's not a nice lady, Rob. I mean, there's nothing nice about it. It's a really It's a really honestly the most disgusting crime I've heard of in a very long time.

39:21 Congrats. Yes. You know, I'm still there with Yseph Fritzell. Yes. I'm still there with my buddy Yseph Fritzell hanging out fighting for him, fighting for his standings in the most gross crimes of all time. Also, there's the story of the man who swallowed the Fabra egg and then shout it out. This is another I am angry again. I'm reanchored about this story. And the reason why I'm angry about this story is because then they still have the [ __ ] nerve to charge full price for that fat ber I guess that has come out of another person's [ __ ] Yes. Oh, yeah. It's definitely uh it's still at $19,000 value.

39:59 That is to me cuz we discover remember it was the piece of jewelry. I believe it was an Australian story. It was a piece of jewelry. A man ate this.

40:06 Interesting that this is in New Zealand. I believe this. It's just something that happens over there.

40:09 They got too many snakes. That's the problem. They got too many. They know they can swallow stuff.

40:15 Yes. So, that was Well, New Zealand New Zealand's full of birds and that's why this guy swallowed an egg.

40:19 Yeah. He's like, "Oh, I'm a paragrin." It was the Texas man who swallowed the earrings. Texas. Texas and Australia are pretty close.

40:27 Yes. So anyway, but this guy, he swallowed the Fabricche egg. It's a tiny egg. Yeah,

40:32 it's a real tiny egg. But you're still going TO CHARGE ME. YOU MEAN TO [ __ ] TELL ME cuz they say the same thing when they did 700 grand necklace that the guy shot out. They're all like, "We cleaned it impeccably. Absolutely. Every cubic mill.

40:47 You can't drop the price at all. You're lucky you [ __ ] got it back. There is absolutely [ __ ] in that thing. Look at that tiny thing. It's as big as A FINGERTIP.

40:55 THERE IS ABSOLUTELY [ __ ] in the crevices of that Fabra [ __ ] egg. 19 grand for that little piece of [ __ ]

41:04 I'll give you 1,200 for it. Not even. I'm even doing that just to not insult their [ __ ] asses for your stupid ass egg. I don't even get Faber eggs. I don't even understand what they serve for and what they do. And what I know it's a Russian thing.

41:18 It's the octopusy egg. This one's limited edition, dude. Oh, it's Yeah, that's right. Cuz they built it off of the movie Octopusy, so they wanted to It looks like the egg from

41:27 It's a fake eggs. Yo, [ __ ] the octopusy. It's not real. Octopus is a fake thing.

41:33 Yeah, the whole thing's fake. It It's a It has an 18 karat yellow gold octopus nestled inside when you open it.

41:39 That's [ __ ] horseshit. What are we doing here? Yeah. And it's got d white diamond suckers and and black diamond eyes. The octopus.

41:46 I think that fabra eggs are a hate crime. Yeah, I think that anywhere there's Fabra eggs, they should be melted down and that money should be given to the poor.

41:54 Absolutely. Fabra eggs are the single most useless thing I could possibly imagine.

41:58 Covered in diamonds necklace. It [ __ ] it. You could rock it. I couldn't GIVE A [ __ ] [ __ ] ALSO,

42:04 I hate these eggs. I hate fab eggs. You know who deserves some credit here? The label makers. The label went through this guy's body and came out and they were still able to read it. the price tag.

42:18 Oh, you're talking about the paper price the paper price tag. Yeah, I'm very impressed by the paper price tag.

42:23 I'm actually now realizing that's a [ __ ] hilarious photo because it's just a man with his rubber gloved hand fingering it because it's it's just in a napkin. Now I'm realizing what this is. It's in a napkin with a rubber [ __ ] there.

42:39 Yeah, it's definitely [ __ ] Yeah. Yes. That's his gross rubber fingered glo f just one rubber finger pointing at the fabra egg. It's got [ __ ] [ __ ] residue all around it. 19 GRAND SUCK my dick. So also they're they're not sure if the guy swallowed other stuff so they're still like watching him [ __ ] every time.

43:02 He's still [ __ ] in buckets. And if I was like who knows what I ordered next. I don't know. I accidentally I might have swollen several bracelets. Well, if I love this [ __ ] pervert just hanging out all day. Yes. Look through that one. There might be a stud or two in that little YES. SMELL IT, WHY don't you?

43:25 That had to destroy his [ __ ] though, right? Like diamond. His whole intestinal tract.

43:29 Yeah. It made it through though. It shows the human body is a lot stronger than we think it is.

43:34 I mean, it's just going to come out. It's a tiny egg. It's shaped like Every time I think of a Fabraier egg, I always think of like a huge [ __ ] thing.

43:42 Well, they do make big ones. Yeah, but this one's only 3 in tall. Yeah. Which also makes it even more of a waste of [ __ ] time. All of this stuff is just so I'm not into it. I'm not into the this the whole just like charging money to for the sake of charging money because of the thing says it's a thing is makes me angry.

43:58 Honestly, if you sell Fabraier eggs, you deserve this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the idea of you stressing, I watched one of the most upsetting body cam videos I've ever seen, which was a man that was a security worker at a spirit Halloween.

44:16 Okay. Who had a gun for some reason, young man, tackles a shoplifter, then proceeds to dogw walk him across the parking lot with the gun to the back of his head, and then shoots him point blank in the chest. What? Brutal video. The guy starts crying. Guy starts [ __ ] crying. The guy who shot him.

44:39 Yes. The security officer loses his mind, right? Because he's a child that should not have had a gun. He should not have had

44:45 There shouldn't be a gun in a spirit Halloween. Nothing matters. It's not a real business.

44:50 Like that's what I think about is when people steal from these companies, it's like that guy like the second he got out the door, he should have let him go.

44:59 Yes. with the Faber eggs and [ __ ] It's going to rip through this man's intestines. It's going to come out. But the idea of like sitting and watching this man [ __ ] in a bucket as the stuff slowly comes out of him is just this of like that's where we get to as real workers. So retailers like people that make just over minimum wage have to go watch a man [ __ ] in a bucket until the precious items of their boss come sliding out of him. [ __ ] you. Yeah, man. I just be like, you send a guy from Faber.

45:34 If you want somebody to watch to deal with [ __ ] loss is Faber a business. Yes. It's the label. It's like what it's called. I believe I believe I believe there are companies that I don't maybe I'm wrong. I believe Fabraier is kind of like how Champagne

45:50 comes from Champagne Valley. Yes. But anything can be called Champagne. It is a brand. Yes. So yes, there are specific Fabra eggs

46:00 and then there are things that are come from that look like eggs that are maybe are not necessarily Fabraier eggs.

46:07 [ __ ] these things. Yeah, they're worthless. So, this idea of anybody stealing anything and then you being on the hook for doing anything because like that officer also turns out the security officer from the spirit of Halloween. Um, his mother was the district attorney and uh well, there still uh he's not about to he's going to have to go to uh trial, but he definitely he got charged for with that second degree manslaughter because he also poured uh pepper spray all over this guy's face and then shot him point blank in the chest.

46:32 Jesus Christ, man. It's been a for stealing Halloween mess. It's been a [ __ ] up year. Even the spirit Halloweens are closing down and becoming spirit Halloweens. Save it for the clubs. There's also spirit Christmases on the east coast which are like

46:46 they're have No, we have them here. We do. Yeah, we do have them here. I saw one as I was driving the other day.

46:51 They're kind of sad over there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little sad. Yeah. The Christmas spirit.

46:55 Yeah. Yeah. Cuz definitely feels like it's like big divorced energy. Mhm. In there.

46:59 Yeah. You got to get in there and get something. You got to put up something to make your kids happy when they come by.

47:03 Yeah. Because if not, all he sees is pictures of your new girlfriend and you're like,

47:07 "Yeah, you're my gift." So, I bought a fabra egg for my new girlfriend. Well, you know, Christine, it's our first Christmas together. So, yeah,

47:14 it was kind of a big deal for us. So, and I've kind of had 15 Christmases with you.

47:18 So, we're not going to be around. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're going to go [ __ ]

47:24 I know this is a real important year for you, but we're out of here. We're going to leave and go [ __ ] So, try not to become a school shooter. Okay. We have one more story that I just gonna touch on for two seconds just because it's wild. Distraught widow handed bag contained dead husband's belongings after he fell off a ferry. Very nice to do. Um his socks were in the bag, but apparently inside of the socks were the bottom of his feet

47:51 and soles and his heels were This was And she's like, "Oh my god, this is the [ __ ] worst part of him."

47:55 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the part I hated him the most. She This is so sad. This is the grossest part of my husband. Anything else I would have Oh, I would have been so happy.

48:02 Yeah. So, she she got all his stuff back and just the bottoms of his feet. Yeah. She was like, "Oh, this bag [ __ ] smells." And she's like, "Oh, it's socks." And then she put his hand in the socks and it was just like meat. It was just meat on the bottom of the socks.

48:16 And then and then her father came, you like, "Do you put insoles in here?" Oh, it's just his souls.

48:22 It's just his actual souls. Yeah. Oh, that's horrifying. Yeah. He um he he had been on some new medication that kind of made him uneasy and he'd fell overboard.

48:31 Did they make the bottoms of his feet loose? Oh, he was like water logged. Yeah.

48:37 Cuz it took him a while to find him. Yeah. Yeah. Because she didn't realize he'd fell off the back of the boat and she didn't realize that he had been gone until it was been a while. So, it took him a while to find him.

48:47 What's going on here? What do you mean? How are they falling off these boats? Oh, he was like sick. He was on some medication that he was actually a really good swimmer, but he was like all [ __ ] up on medication that made him like uneasy on his feet.

48:59 Isn't that ironic? Yeah. And then he is It is ironic. It's very ironic that he was like a diver and uh and then he fell off the boat and uh Yeah, they found him.

49:09 Wow. That is Well, they found some of them. Yeah. Well, they found all of them and then gave back part of them.

49:14 And you know, that's the thing about Davy Jones's locker. Yeah. and that sometimes she keeps what you want and she gives back what you can take.

49:22 Yeah. She said that his feet were attached to the bottom of the socks, his soles and heels. What happened to Mark? No. Did no one realize his feet were hanging off at the mortterary

49:31 to be honest. What? Okay, this might be really shallow question. What brand of sock?

49:38 Cuz actually sounds really durable. No, no, these are good socks. Did it say what the socks were?

49:43 Scotland socks. Scuckland. side stories lgmail. I imagine it's wool. I'm going to guess wool.

49:50 I don't think wool's going to hold feet in it. So, if anybody can tell me what do you think is the warmest, most thoroughly cushiony Scottish brand sock that these feet could have been in that kept them so warm they didn't want to leave.

50:03 All I know is I love my bombas. I tell me about it. This for some reason this sentence just makes me want to hurl, dude.

50:10 All right. His feet were attached to the bottom of his socks, his soles and heels. What had happened to Mark? Did no one realize his feet were hanging off in the mortterary? My 87year-old father had to come around and tie up the bag of Mark's feet and take it outside before the funeral home could come to collect it.

50:29 Yes. Oh, like it was slippers. Yeah. Well, you know, that's also his new nickname. But Oh, yeah. It was his nickname, Slippers. And this is how we have fun here, folks. You have to if you know when it comes down to you know what a tight horse is all about. You know what's really about whoop gone. Remember that we did on the cruise. That's what happens to white women and gone.

50:54 And you know I just what we discovered here at Sides Stories a long time ago. If you ain't laughing you're crying,

51:02 right? So that's the thing here. Yeah, we make light of it, but when it comes down to it, we're all gonna [ __ ] die. It's on the pipe for all of us. And I just hope that when I go, the laughs are as just as good. So every day I live trying to make sure that my final moments will be as hilarious as possible.

51:19 They will. I love to put myself in scenarios that I don't need to be in. What they say is for the plot. And then I know that you'll laugh when you read my obituary and you see, oh my god, podcaster dies stuck in log flume at cheese festival. That is the goal. All right. Oh, we got listen to stories, but we just did a [ __ ] full hour of just I got a listener letter.

51:44 We got to do at least one. Here you go. Do we have a sting? Yeah, we got a new singer.

51:47 This one's from Zach from Dead Animal Assembly Plant. Oh, I love their Christmas album.

51:52 Yes. Uh but uh but yeah, here it is. Check it out. Are you ready? You're so ready for SOMETHING right now.

52:05 Listening emails this week. Oh, sure. This is a male experience. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

52:13 See, that's I like it. Very Rob Zombie. He put you in it. Yeah. That's nice. It's nice to hear my voice.

52:19 But I will say very Rob Zombie-esque. Yeah. Very very cool. Very cool. Very good work.

52:24 Dead animal collection service. Very good. Listen to them whenever you can. assembly plant. Dead animal assembly plant. He knows we listen. Don't worry, we always listen. We know everything that's going on. Um, one of the uh big things uh one uh update I wanted to give was first of all, we maligned tanners because tanners are bad.

52:49 Yeah, I got a tanner that reached out to me and said that we were right. Yes, many tanners did, but there is one tanner that is good.

52:56 Okay. And it did that someone pointed out to me and it's true and it's Tanner from Love on the Spectrum. So because Tanner was a very sweet man on Love on the Spectrum, but I will say Tanner unfortunately voted for Trump.

53:10 Family voted for Trump and Tanner is a he is literally a Trump stand. Oh, so it doesn't matter.

53:16 Nope. Just funny. No, he has no idea why. He just thinks Trump is funny. He thinks it's his grandma. So that is the reason why he's doing it. I don't blame Tanner, but they are definitely voting for him in that house.

53:29 You ever see Tanner 88? No, no, no, no. I um I avoid autistic pornography, right? He's not um you're not allowed to do pornography, I don't think.

53:40 10 or 88. I don't know if are the are severely handicapped people allowed to shoot pornography. Sidestolp@gmail.com.

53:50 Yeah. Yeah, I think they are. I mean, well, I haven't seen it yet. We'll find out. We'll see.

53:55 I mean, you don't know if you've seen it or not. No, I don't want to see it. No, but you you could have watched it

54:00 if No, I'm talking about visibly. I mean, everyone who's in porn IS JUST LIKE, "OH, BOB, I'M COMING."

54:06 You know, how are you supposed to know like what's wrong with them? Let's get on to the next letter. Now, this one is the fetish enthusiast. I'm going to read this. I'm reading this and I do think it's interesting, but again, I will not apply any form of, how do I say this?

54:27 I support your need to do death play. But I will say if I found out my sister was doing it, I would be extremely [ __ ] concerned. You know what I mean? It's like one of those where like when I meet a stranger and they explain to me about death play, I'm like, "Oh, fascinating. We'll talk all Okay, but if I met a fan by literally I'd put Jackie in and say something.

54:47 Yeah, I'm not a kink shamer, but I am like a kink uh keep it to yourself. Just advisor more just being like you're want to be careful with that. So, here we go. So, longtime listener of the podcast and lover of last podcast. All right, great. I listen to a side stories episode, the woman from the UK being murdered by the that beard face in Ocala, Florida, and wanting to answer some of Henry's questions about negotiating a murder.

55:08 Okay, first and foremost, I'm an absolute freak. play heavily with kinks that are regarded as edge play. Edgeplay kinks fall into a category of kink where they could result in serious harm to myself up to death. Auto assassinophobia or aassinophilia is the hilariously long and doubleass word for having a fetish for putting one's life at risk. I do a lot of play around breathing restriction, drowning, extreme beatings, and other ridiculous [ __ ] that I won't list for the sake of brevity. I am hyper aware of the risk and I make a lot of choices to mitigate harm. There's really only so much you can do. You're going to get hurt hanging from a wench just by your tits. That's for certain. In case of our Okala friend and his UK visitor, the fact that there was no out for the person even when they were attempting to end the scene leaves the realm of BDSM and enters into just straight up criminal activity.

56:02 Yeah, so we talked about it. Yes, I've had sessions where I've had negotiate where I've negotiated more than I can handle and I've communicated that and the satist I'm playing with will always end the session. But are they real satists then? Negotiating one's death is tricky business. I negotiate with scenes with the awareness that my death is a serious possibility. Funnily enough, I was enjoying a session with a friend where they repeatedly choked me unconscious yesterday and I'm still here to tell the tale. Every time I went out, a bell dropped from my hand and they immediately let off my neck. I'd come back to in seconds and we were able to determine each step if I wanted to continue going or stop. It doesn't matter how [ __ ] up the play or the risk profile, a consensual BDSM encounter requires a way out. Requires a way out and check-ins. Even if that check-in is, yo, you still alive. And

56:53 that is just the truth, which is uh Yeah, but obviously the man was murderer. Yeah.

56:59 And she has to be murdered and that is hard. You know, when I was a stupid child, I used to like we me and my buddy,

57:07 you did stupid child things. We used to choke each other out. And I remember we stopped after one of us passed out and we thought we'd kill the other one. We're like, "Oh, we should probably not do this."

57:16 Yeah. We shouldn't do this all the time. Yeah. Let's just start smoking weed instead of choking each other.

57:19 Nitrous, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely started that as well. So much easier.

57:23 Obviously, oddly safer, I think, in a way. Yeah. But I'd be real careful out there.

57:28 Yes. Absolutely. Nitrous for choking each other. Just make sure. All right. Because I get it. Some people like a little squeeze here and there.

57:34 Absolutely. I It It frightens me. Yeah. Make sure you're holding your bells. I'm a gentle lover.

57:39 Yeah. I'm a gentle lover. I do little nibbles, little spanks. Mhm. I'm gentle. Yeah. No chokes.

57:46 No chokes. I don't like choking. I get scared. No. No. No. Plus, it's just mean, right?

57:51 I guess people like it though, Eddie. People do like it. Some people That's the idea is they like it cuz it feels mean. Feels mean, but it's not mean,

57:59 I guess. God, I I feel like I can't even say anything right now. You're very vanilla, but I get it. It's fine.

58:04 Very vanilla. I'm extremely vanilla, too. Yeah, but it's okay. They're like, they're taking it back. It's newly revolutionary in the world of poly and all of these things. It's newly revolutionary to just have standard sex with your wife.

58:19 Yeah. It's coming all the way back around. All the way back around to just being

58:21 We're back to being perverts. Wow. Oh, we're the weird ones. Oh, yeah. Just straight up how gross we are just having sex with our wives.

58:28 Yeah. Sometimes I just hold her, you know. Sometimes I just hold her and we like we'll put on music and we dance.

58:33 Oh, I hate E. You know, we'll do that. Sometimes like we'll slow dance the two of us.

58:37 Yeah. Yeah. We have a nice time. You don't make each other throw up? No. Not on purpose.

58:42 You're not beating her anymore? No. For sexual purposes? Absolutely not. Well, hey,

58:47 absolutely not. Everything changes, huh? I We got I got our Christmas stocking and I'm trying to fill the whole thing.

58:52 Still crazy. Go check us at patreon.com/lastbotodcast and left to watch us do this.

59:01 You think I should put the bottom of my feet in her Christmas stocking? Honestly, if you want to surprise her.

59:05 Well, I see if I can get my dad. Yeah. Still solid. All right, we go in. I'll help you on the left for all your social Instagram needs. Keeping it good and dark for Christmas time. And you're going to go up here.

59:16 What if I do? What if I wrap my dad's earn and put it under the tree and give it to my wife? Be like, I didn't want it anymore. I thought that I thought that maybe you should have it. Will you please save it for her birthday?

59:29 I think that's actually the key. Save for her birthday. So only she can get it. And go check out YouTube. Go check out our new show LPN TV. Uh Vamp Vampire the Masquerade. LPN RPG is the best [ __ ] we've made in a long time. It is going. Just know that we're about to have make a bunch of announcements for I'll just go ahead and say it. We got a second season of Hoopaoo. Hoopa goooo is coming out. We have um you might be hearing whispers of another show that you guys have been asking for. It's coming out back again in 2026. Ye old tears of a clown in a way. Oh wow. Figure that out.

1:00:02 You know, go check it out. Say in a way and then say the title of the show. Yep.

1:00:05 It doesn't work like that. It's so I can we somehow get out of it if things go wrong.

1:00:10 But who knows? And they're not going to go wrong. I got the doggy. And we got Champ in hand.

1:00:15 Champ's here. Um Champ wants to wish everyone a merry Christmas. It's not time yet. Hey, Champ wants everyone to come to Ed's uh standup show at Oxnard on January 4th, right Champ? Yeah, you do.

1:00:26 You want everyone to come to Oxnard Levity Live to come see me and Karolina and Julia Johns and Holden and Jake. It's going to be a lot of fun. Please come because I promise them money

1:00:36 and um I don't want to I don't want to lose money on the show. That's your first is my first mistake by booking my friends and never giving them money. Um, but yes, also I'm going to be in San Francisco at the Punchline on February 18th right before Henry Henry and I head off to Alaska where we got side story shows in Anchorage. Almost sold out. So, if you want to come to the Anchorage Show, get your tickets now. And Fairbanks, uh, there's plenty of tickets in Fairbanks.

1:01:00 Come out to Fairbanks. Come out to Fairbanks. Seriously, we are going to be there. There's going to be no light and we're going to hang out with you guys and we're going to have a good time and I can't wait. And then, um, I think that's about it.

1:01:12 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Um I I wanted to say my friend had a very um horrible thing. Here's a PSA. My friend's house burned down. Um and it was a very close friend of mine. I love them uh greatly, Chelsea Riggs. Um you know, here's something. It's more of a PSA for everyone. I didn't realize this is a thing. It was an electrical fire. And apparently, we're all supposed to have smoke detectors in our attics. And no one has smoke detectors in our attics.

1:01:39 Oh, you have an attic. I don't have an attic. I Yes, you do. We all have atticts. You got an attic. You got one up there somewhere. I You got to You got to crawl space with wire.

1:01:48 What happens if you don't have it? They their attic caught on fire through the bad wiring and they all almost died and their house burned down because they didn't even know there was a fire up there.

1:01:56 That's frightening. Yeah, it's very terrifying. It's very scary. I uh I can't It's a It's a definite Put a smoke detector in your attic. Um anyone who's got a home that you know, make it It's an easy Christmas.

1:02:07 I'm glad we saved this actually very real uh tip for the very end. Yes. Yes. This extremely important tip for some people feels like which I didn't even think about.

1:02:16 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Know. So, this could totally just happen to you. I'll buy I'll buy your smoke detector, Henry. This is on me. This one's on me. I'll get one for Marcus. And Yeah. No, I'll make sure our houses don't get burned down. Uh so, this Christmas when everyone's uh Christmas trees are all [ __ ] up and dried out and got lights on them, uh make sure you got all your smoke detectors running and going cuz it's a really bad time for all this to happen. But it's never a good time for your house to burn down, but um at the same time, please

1:02:43 unless you got a body in there. Unless you got a body in there. Yeah. You know, if you're looking to annihilate your family,

1:02:49 it's actually pretty great. If you want to help out my friends, there's a GoFundMe. Uh just Google support rigs family after housefire. Um and it happened in Tallahassee, Florida. Um you don't have to do anything to help them cuz we're going to help them out here. But if you feel like it, please. It's just it's just so tragic. And you you ever think about this, you always read about it, but then when it happens to someone you actually love, it gets a lot of it gets crazier.

1:03:10 I actually after the fires, I had several friends that lost their new either newly purchased homes, their their their life savings was gone. It was uh it's extremely brutal and the United States of America is not the kindest country right now and there's not a heck of a lot of safety nets for people. So, we are unfortunately forced to take care of each other.

1:03:31 Yes. Yeah. So, one day GoFundMe won't pay for all of our medical bills and house fires. But that today, that's what's going on.

1:03:38 Well, until GoFundMe becomes private healthcare. Yes. Which very well could happen.

1:03:43 Ah, yes. My GoFundMe po. Oh, yes. Yes. And then Oh, you only get And you only get it if you complete it.

1:03:50 You only get That's what's going to happen. If not, they get it. They get it. I'll take the money.

1:03:54 Oh, well, I love all you guys. Take care of yourselves. Try to take care of yourselves this very complicated season. Hail sweet.

1:04:02 Um, and hail Chelsea Riggs and her family. Yes. Oh my god, my mom was real hot. And uh, you got to see THESE OLD PICTURES. OH, MOM, I'M COMING. What's wrong?

Questions about this episode

Who speaks in "Side Stories Video: 'Tis The Season"?

Henry Zebrowski (Host), Ed Larson (Host), Zach (Dead Animal Assembly Plant) (Guest), Unnamed listener (fetish/edge-play email writer) (Guest), Champ (Guest).

What is "Side Stories Video: 'Tis The Season" about?

The discussion explores the unexpected and humorous revelations from Paul Anka about Frank Sinatra's anatomy and an intriguing claim regarding Joey Bishop's gender identity, highlighting the absurdity of celebrity culture and the dynamics of fame. The conversation blends comedic commentary with surprising cultural insights, ultimately reflecting on the legacy of these iconic figures.

What is mentioned in this Last Podcast On The Left episode?

126 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including Morgan Geyser, Micah Smith, Ashley/Bradley Bartholomew, Courtney Bartholomew, Slender Man, Frank Sinatra. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Side Stories Video: 'Tis The Season"?

The episode runs 1 h 4 min; the transcript is about 13,852 words in 350 timestamped sections.

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