Transcript

Did Lovett's Pete Hegseth Joke BOMB?

From Lovett or Leave It · Episode page · Watch on YouTube

· 1 h 20 min · 15,628 words · 325 timestamped sections

This is the full, timestamped transcript of "Did Lovett's Pete Hegseth Joke BOMB?", an episode of Lovett or Leave It published December 20, 2025 (1 h 20 min, about 15,628 words). It mentions 22 people, works and ideas, including South Park, Sundays, Stephanie Eileene Lazarus, Bob the Drag Queen, Stephanie Allen.

What is discussed, and when

  1. – 10:00: Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi, Roy Wood Jr., Stephanie Allen
  2. – 20:00: Henry Winkler, Stephanie Allen, Timothy Shalamé
  3. – 30:00: Cards Against Humanity, Henry Winkler, League of Conservation Voters
  4. – 40:00: South Park, Timothy Shalamé
  5. – 50:00: South Park, Byron Allen, Dr. Tori Waxman, Greg Gutfeld
  6. – 1:00:00: Sundays, Aura Frames, South Park
  7. – 1:10:00: Stephanie Eileene Lazarus, Larry David
  8. – 1:19:53: Endoscino Farms

Notable quotes from "Did Lovett's Pete Hegseth Joke BOMB?"

  • Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie Allen. And at the end of the episode, I will be joined by Sarah Lazarus and Hi Kefir, our writers, because I made a bet. And we're going…
    about Stephanie Eileene Lazarus · at
  • Dog walk me and my partner Ari down the aisle in a radically unfair round of the newlyweight game. After that, Henry Winkler looks back on his creative legacy from freaking out…
    about Henry Winkler · at
  • From red states to fund abortion access and paid people to give a [ __ ] about the 2024 election. Cards Against Humanity is one, of the, only, companies, stupid, enough to…
    about Cards Against Humanity · at
  • And have is did anyone see the South Park episode last night? So, this is what happened. He's such a sore winner. He gets rid of Co Bear. Now South, Park,, who, just, secured, a, $ 1.5 billion deal with Paramount Plus.
    about South Park · at
  • They go to four nights a week. Seph Meyers faces budget issues. They got rid of the 8G ban. Jimmy Kimmel and them they have their issues. And so, Jimmy takes more time off during.
    about Seph Meyers · at
  • And they air literally episodes of Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen from 15 years ago in that time slot, which just shows you what they think of the value proposition of that time slot.
    about Byron Allen · at
  • Time to thaw and prep, then a lot of mess when you serve it. Get the good without the hassle with Sundes. Sundays was founded by veterinarian and mom Dr.
    about Sundays · at
  • I, do., I, do, math., Okay., A, two, from Anna. Next up, Larry David.
    about Larry David · at

Who and what is mentioned in this episode?

People

  • Stephanie Eileene Lazarus — Person · 3 mentions · first at
  • Bob the Drag Queen — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Writers and producers. There are too many great moments to choose from. We've got Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie Allen. And at the…
  • Stephanie Allen — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    Many great moments to choose from. We've got Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie Allen. And at the end of the episode, I will be joined…
  • Henry Winkler — Person · 2 mentions · first at
  • Timothy Shalamé — Person · 2 mentions · first at
    The fawns to writing through his lifelong struggle with dyslexia. Also somehow Timothy Shalamé was involved.
  • John Marco Sesi — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Writers and producers. There are too many great moments to choose from. We've got Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie Allen. And at the…
  • Roy Wood Jr. — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Many great moments to choose from. We've got Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie Allen. And at the end of the episode, I will be joined…
  • Seph Meyers — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Taylor Tomlinson — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Still the same network to Paramount's credit. Cordon leaves, you replace it with Taylor Tomlinson with After Midnight, which is a much cheaper show to do. And when Taylor…
  • Byron Allen — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Greg Gutfeld — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Dr. Tori Waxman — Person · 1 mention · first at
    Mess when you serve it. Get the good without the hassle with Sundes. Sundays was founded by veterinarian and mom Dr.
  • Larry David — Person · 1 mention · first at
  • Fran Lebowitz — Person · 1 mention
  • Tig Notaro — Person · 1 mention

Books & papers

Companies & orgs

  • Cards Against Humanity — Company · 2 mentions · first at
  • League of Conservation Voters — Company · 1 mention · first at
    Things might feel bleak, there's real progress happening thanks to organizations like the League of Conservation Voters, LCV for short mobilizing people to stand up for the…
  • Endoscino Farms — Company · 1 mention · first at
    That's, right., It's, the, vegan, bomi, from Endoscino Farms.
  • Loly — Company · 1 mention

Products & tech

Full transcript with timestamps

Well, we made it. Despite being approximately 1,000 years long, 2025 has finally come to a close. We came, we saw, we screened, we laid down, we made some jokes, and some of them, dare I say, many of them even landed. There was a lot of this year we might not want to look back on. So, don't worry, we did it for you. While assembling this, our 2025 best of Love It or Leave It episode handpicked by the Love It or Leave It we tackled so many hard questions on the show this year, like, is this the end of American democracy? Has the social contract been irrevocably broken? And most importantly, do white jeans make you gay? The answer to all of those questions is we don't think so. But we'll let you be the judge as you listen to our favorite segments selected by our writers and producers. There are too many great moments to choose from. We've got Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi Roy Wood Jr., Tignitaro, and Stephanie

Allen. And at the end of the episode, I will be joined by Sarah Lazarus and Hi Kefir, our writers, because I made a bet. And uh we're going to see how that bet turned out, but I don't think everybody would be excited about this segment if I won. First up, these are two of my favorite moments from this year. Uh Bob the Drag Queen and Jessica Kersonen scream, "Look over there, them there." back in April. And boy did I. And then Andy Richtor, Jason Isaacs, and Paula Pound dig into what you can do with a vegans number two during one of the best rant wheels of the year. Will this successfully distract straight conservatives from the many terrifying real problems affecting our country in a segment we're calling Look Over They them?

I, love, uh Bob and Jessica sounds like a straight couple. Like, Bob, and, Jessica, are, coming, over, for dinner.

It, sounds, like, the, hosts, of, a, morning, TV show this, morning, with, Bob, and, Jessica, doesn't it?

You, know,, and, and, and, that's, the, traffic report. Back over to you, Bob and Jessica. It does.

Yeah,, it, does. Really, does. Uh, first, up,, the, claim, that, sitting, in front of a screen makes you a woman.

What? To, be, fair,, Jessica, is, sitting, in, front of a screen. So, one out of three chances it will work.

Let's, roll, the, clip. When, you, sit, behind, a, screen, all, day,, it makes you a woman. Studies have shown this. Studies have shown this. And if you're out working like building robots like Harold, you are around other guys. You're not around HR ladies and lawyers. Gives you estrogen.

What, are, you, doing? Let, me, finish., Judge, what, if, you, sit, behind, the, screw? Can we just look Can we just look at the beginning of the clip and he goes sitting behind the screen all day.

Yeah., Sache. Yeah., That's, amazing. That's,, good., That, man, knows, the, flavor, of, penis., He if if, he, did, a, blind, taste,, he'd, be like, "That's dick.

That, is, dick., I, know, it, is." Right., It's, like, It's, like,, "Okay,, diet Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. Penis. penis.

No,, he,, be, like,, "Dr., Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Jim but, he, sits, in, front, of, a, screen, all day. He's on the news."

I, I, think, he, might, be, full, of, [ __ ] Yeah., Next, up,, the, idea, that, tariffs, equal girlfriends.

This, week,, Vog, published, an, article titled, "The strange link between Trump's tariffs and incel ideology. Meet the lonely men who think tariffs will get them girlfriends."

[sighs] Apparently,, it's, part, of, a, larger, online hysteria that claims women have cushy email jobs, providing them with a level of financial security, which keeps them from having to marry and have sex with socially dysfunctional men. If tariffs tanks the economy, women will be forced to marry men for economic survival, thus writing a terrible wrong against the duds.

Can, someone, kill, me?, I'm, serious., Can someone just kill me tonight? I don't think maggots know what a tariff is.

I, don't, either. I, genuinely, don't, think, they, know, what it is, what it does, who pays for it where it comes from, who came first, the tariff or the the product. They they have no clue. And they they will say it does anything. Teriff tariffs cure cancer. Tariffs gives you girlfriends. Teriff gives you wings. Don't drink a tariff after 3 p.m.

So, brilliant. Yeah., I, just, like, it's, just, like, you're a you're sitting in your your in front of your computer in your parents' house

becoming, a, woman. Becoming, a, woman., You're gaming. Life isn't gone your way. You think that tariffs are going to [ __ ] up the marketing jobs for the women and turn you into what? A factory foreman. I hate to say it, but those guys who are not getting laid, it not only could tariffs not get you laid. Jesus Christ. Could not get those guys laid. , Yeah,, tariffs. That's your problem. That's your problem. You got jersey bed sheets. Get it together.

It's, terrible. No, that was that was I was horrifying because it was such a bad

if, you, committed, we, would, have, been, in they didn't hear I, said, it's, terrible, is, what, I, said, I'm

see, it, worked it, worked just, terrifa, body scanner turns you gay. Oh, my. In, a, recent, podcast, clip, that, went viral, a Christian nationalist pastor expressed concern that the TSA body scanner were turned him gay with its gay beam.

I, had, to, be, molested, at, the, airport, uh to go to Florida right?, Just, to, get, on, an, airplane, cuz I'm not going to go through the

the, gay, beam, machine., Um, I, didn't, let, CJ do it. I wouldn't let him do it. Uh said you're getting patted down too, buddy.

Uh, I, don't, want, them, turning, you, gay., I I can't I'm sorry. I just can't take it.

I, just, don't, think, it's, the, beam,, my friend. You, go, through, like, I'm, about, to, go through security and you come out and you're like, "Hello."

I, mean,, we, know, that's, not, true, because all gays have TSA pre-check. Everyone knows

we, would, never, stand, in, this, machine. We, don't, do, that. Such, an, important, point., We, walked through. We walked by. We're like, it's like you feel so VIP. You're like

looking, at, the, straight, men, kick, their shoes off, taking out their laptops and their [ __ ] iPad Pros and their Nintendo Switches. And finally, can white men can wear No.

Don't, finish, it., The, answer, is, no. I, also, I, misread, it., It's, not, can, white men, it's can men wear white jeans.

Yeah., No,, cuz, they, [ __ ], themselves, so much. Straight, men. Yeah., Yeah., Maybe, the, straight, men [ __ ] themselves. Uh the Trump administration has ignored the Supreme Court. sent our nation into a constitutional crisis, attacked our universities, erased our history, but Fox News can't cover that. So, they have to ask important questions like, "Can men wear white jeans?"

There's, nothing, manly, about, wearing white jeans. I, will, say, in, their, defense,,

no,, finish, the, thought., Finish, the thought. Jeans, are, like, hot., Like, when, a, man wears white jeans

I, think, to, myself,, there's, no, way, this man would ever be straight. A straight man would not think to wear white jeans for starters. And if they do, they would be covered in mustard and ketchup beef jerky

Cheeto, dust, Red, Bull, Cheeto, dust., They, don't, have the They don't have the tact it takes to wear white jeans. I it's really um it's high the white jeans they're high risk high reward for sure if it's working you feel like you're just you're crushing life. Look at me in these white jeans. The other thing about the white jeans is if the sneakers are off.

You, look, insane., You, look,, you look crazy. You look crazy. Everything has to be right.

Not, a, lot, of, lesbians, don't, wear, white jeans either. I just realized. Huh.

I, love, that, no, one, just, responded, to that. Why do you think that is very, alone?, I, don't, know., I, mean,, I, do, but I don't know. I don't know. Let's just go over something else.

I, I, can, you, just, agree, with, me?, So, it's, true., I, have, never, seen, a, lesbian wear white jeans. And if I see it, I'll say, "Not a lesbian. You can't fool me, [ __ ]

You're, a, lesbian. No, we, got, to, [clears throat], get, these cards checked.

She's, from, Lebanon.,, Oh, my god, you're Lebanese. Yeah,, I'm, Jewish, from, Lebanon.

So, anyway,, back, that, I, got, a, lot, of questions about I got a lot of questions about chicken turna. So we're in good shape.

Chicken. Are, you, Jewish? Yeah. Me?, Oh, no., I'm, not., I'm, not., Hey,, do, me, a favor. Never ask anyone that.

I'm, a, dog, owner., I, live, in, Pasadena., You know, people leaving dog [ __ ] on around like that's of course that's infuriating and and should be punishable by something. And I do I it's the only reason death is the only language.

It's, the, only, It's, the, only, reason, that I'm for like CCTV everywhere just to get people leaving dog [ __ ] Like I and I just think there should be a whole part of city government just focused on that. But the thing that gets me beyond that is that you go to the trouble of picking it up. And I'm not one of those people that says, "Don't put dog [ __ ] in my trash can." It's a trash can. Put your dog [ __ ] in there. I don't care. But then they put it in the recycling

or, the, yard, waste. You, might, as, well, throw, it, in, the street. Can, I, I'm, going, to, ask, a, question.

Yes. Okay., And, you're, passionate. Yes. And, I, love, that. If, I, have, compostable

poop, bags,, which, I, do, and, it's, filled, with, poop,, can, I, not, put that in

the, carnivore's, poop, is, not, compostable. It doesn't go in the yard waste. It, does, not.

Really?, It's, not, manure., It's, not, great on soil. No., It's, the, same, way, that, you, can't, put human [ __ ] in there.

What? Oh,, no., Now, we, get, why, he, needs, scented, bags. Now, now Andy, in fairness, you're making a point. I

have, to, apologize, to, all, of, my neighbors. Now, the, reason he's, out, there, again, how does he prop himself up?

Yes., I, would, say, that, the, reason, I wasn't putting human waste in the yard waste bin is not because I knew I couldn't. It's just simply that I wouldn't. But when I I thought I genuinely am learning this from you on this stage that I thought because I went to the trouble of buying compostable bags that that meant that green and black were both acceptable places.

No,, that, that, poop, is, not, I, mean, of course when it's mixed in with everything it's you know it's

but, it's, but, it, is, not, supposed, to, be compostable. If you had a compost pile in your backyard, you know, you could like I used to live in an equestrian area of Burbank and there I would there would be horseshit on the street and I'd put it in our compost pile because that's fantast but dog [ __ ] you want to do.

I'm, a, vegan, so, I'm, fine., That's, right., That's, right. All, right., Just, see, him., I'M, a, vegan. It's okay.

The, alert, is, off., Good. Yeah., Boy,, you, want, you, want, to, get, that information out to the neighborhood watch.

What, a, fascinating, thing, to, learn. Coming up, Tignitaro and Stephanie Allen dog walk me and my partner Ari down the aisle in a radically unfair round of the newlyweight game. After that, Henry Winkler looks back on his creative legacy from freaking out the squares of the fawns to writing through his lifelong struggle with dyslexia. Also somehow Timothy Shalamé was involved. What can I say? The man's a Hollywood institution. Please welcome to the stage uh my future spouse and the person whose wet towels I can't pick wait to pick up off the bathroom floor every single day until I die. It's the wonderful Ari Schwarz.

All, right., All, right. Hi., Hi. Are, you, glad, we, did, this? I'm, Yeah. You, don't, regret, doing, this?

No. Doing, what? Being, on, the, microphone. Oh,, okay. I, thought, you, meant, I, thought, you, meant engaged. Oh,

I, was, like,, "Oh, well,, now, would, be, the, time, to, kind, of hash that out."

Uh,, anything, you'd, like, to, share, about the engagement? It, happened. Mhm.

Uh,, and, now, I'm, on, a, microphone, because of it. Tell, us, the, engagement, story.

Well,, uh,, I, will., So, we, planned, it, to with an inch of its life to the point where there was zero surprise.

None. Uh, to, the, point, where, we, discussed, not just when we would do it, not just that we would do it at a dinner, but and not just that we would do it during dessert

but, what, dessert? Um, I, don't, even, remember, the, dessert. But, we, decided, that, we, would, do, it. There was some cookie, I guess.

But, we, decided, we, would, do, it, when, the dessert was placed, but before we ate it,

because, then, we, wouldn't, face, a, a we, had, we, had, an, overly, attentive waiter, which we love. We love, but we were nervous that it would be interrupted. And so

are, you, talking, about, this, the, whole time you're at this essentially?, Yes.

What, about, before, you, got, there? Uh,, the, whole, day., And, honestly,, weeks before.

So,, it, was, it, was, Yeah., It, kind, of, took over and, there, was, and, that, was, romantic, in its own way.

Sure. Yeah., But, then, we, we, had, a, really, nice, day together and then we decided on the moment and then we each had said we decided we would each say something really nice about why we wanted to be engaged and then we made it official.

Mhm. And, then, uh, we, exchanged, rings. Sure, did. Can, I, make, my, joke? Yeah,, you, sure, can., Uh,, and, it, turns, out there's no amount of testosterone that can kill the part of a Jewish woman that wants a big diamond.

That's, true. That's, true., That, is, amazing. All, right. I, really, like, Can, I, make, my, joke? And then real quick, um how far into your relationship and did you decide I want to be married to this person and who brought it up and was like, I want to be married to

Well,, it, doesn't., It, involves, the television program Survivor. I, assumed as, all, engagements, should

because, I, went, on, the, television, program Survivor and for, what? To, be, a, to sur to survive.

Okay. And, we, had, only, started, dating, not, soon before, like pretty close to when I had to leave.

Wait,, you, were, actually, a, cast, member, on there? Yeah. Yeah., Yeah., Yeah., Yeah.

You, don't, know, that., You, don't, know, that I was on the I, don't, follow, I, only, know, who, Houdini is

right? I, don't, follow, pop, culture. No., No., For, sure., And, so, I, was, on Survivor, which meant I was gone and away from my phone for five weeks or four weeks. And

Oh, my, god. And, when, I, got, my, And, when, I, got, my phone back, so we had talked about we'll see, where, we, are, at, the, end, of the, year. This is May of last year. And when I got my phone back, I we we both we basically when I called, having been away for five weeks, we're like, "When I get back this is it." And we moved in right then. It was like

"You, said, that." Well,, I, had, already, moved, in, obviously because he had left the property.

So, I, moved, in. And, so, you, called, saying,, "When, I, get home, it's just me and you, kid."

Basically, fours. That's, it., And, you, said, you, said, you were you were it wasn't like it was like you weren't surprised by that

but, you, were, a, little, hesitant were, you, like, like, how, long?, Uh, no, I, think, I, was, like, basically, like yeah I've pretty much already moved every all of my stuff in.

Yeah., So, that's, a, little, bit, of, the, old lesbian jumping out in that and, that, it, was a, very, practical, thing. Well, my stuff is already here, so I guess we should spend the rest of our lives together.

That's, how, it, works. To, be, fair,, Steph,, I, used, to, have, a, loft downtown, and Stephanie came over in like what, the first month, and she was like, I am so sick of trying to find parking down here. Should we just move in together? I was like, sure. Anybody else? Before Stephanie, I would have been like calling a friend being like, no, she couldn't find parking. And she's like, should we move in?

But, with, Stephanie,, I'm, like,, "That makes sense." Yeah. Yeah. No, one, survivor,, but

Yeah. Also,, the, plumbing, did, break, at, your apartment. Yeah., My, my, apartment, flooded,, which is also obviously a part of it but

And, did, you, call, and, were, you, like,, "So, my plumbing exploded?" Well,, I, had, ripped, the, pipe, out, the, wall the day before.

All, right. And now it is with deep regret that I hand over control of this segment to Hie.

Welcome, everyone, to, a, segment, we're calling the Sunni game. Thank, you, Kennedy, for, the, title., We, are going to pit one married couple against two spouses to be. However, since being married for a decade definitely puts a thumb on the personal trivia scale. We try to balance out the relationship deep dives with a more philosophical view of your partner. Did we succeed? It's too late to worry about that now because it's time to play the Sunni Wed game. Okay, so this question is for Ari and Stephanie. Ari and Stephanie, what is the single most annoying thing your partner does? Now, love it. And Tig you're going to write what you think they're writing right now. So, this is not what you personally think the most annoying thing is. You're like, what is the most annoying thing to Stephanie in her eyes or Ari in their eyes?

I, think, this, is, Oh,, that's, a, tough, one. Wow. Most of this is this is going to be devastating., All right,

I, gave, Ari, some, suggestions, backstage. I'm not going to lie. All right, so Ari and Stephanie, please turn your boards around and I will read them out loud. Uh Arya has written doesn't know how to pick up dog poop. That's a great one. Stephanie says her love of air conditioning. Okay, love it. Let's turn yours around first.

I, said, uh, constantly, says, let's, deal with this task tomorrow until we die.

Yeah., Okay., BC related and they take I Okay, great. A lot of laughs. Let's turn this bad boy around. And we wrote

"Wow,, that's, 10, years.", Wow., How, they got it. How's temp too cold? The, love, of, air, conditioning.

That's, how, we, do, it. And, to, be, clear, 12, years. And, to, be, That's, amazing., That's, one point for you. Just to be clear, when Ari says, "I don't know how to pick up dog poop," it's not that I don't pick it up. It's that they believe my technique is wrong.

It's, wrong., Do you guys want to smell the dog poop? He holds it up to his nose. He opens the bag up here.

No,, I, defend, it. Ari, claims, the, bag, is, open, is, open, too long. No,, because, it's, open.

That, I, that, I, don't, that, I, don't, try, to close it on the ground. That I come up and then I close it.

What, a, nasty, fight., Don't, worry., They, have I'm, worried, about, you,, too.

They, have, eternity, to, resolve, it., This is a question for Ari and Stephanie. Um Ari and Stephanie

tell, me, in, your, opinion, who, is, more likely to ruin a vacation and take that however you want to take it. You know what I'm talking about.

And, is, this, just, yes, or, no? No., This, is, if if it's possible it is yours or Stephanie's name.

And, am, I, doing, this? Yes., You're, doing, all, of, them. Okay., All right, great. I see a big old answer on Ari. So, we'll start with you guys. Um, uh, Ari, would you mind turning your board around? Yeah, I obviously come on now. Hey

obviously, you, said, love, it. Yeah., Uh,, very, big., John,, I, wrote, me, not even close.

Yes., Uh,, love, it., Of, course., Um, obviously., All right., Okay. Tig, and, Stephanie.

It's, happened, many, times. Tig, says, Stephanie., Stephanie, says, Tig. many times. So many

um, many, trips. No, points, awarded, or, involved., Are, you Are you guys having fun?

Yeah. What, What, is, the, most, likely, thing, to get you in trouble on a vacation?

I, was, thinking Are, we, Do, we, ride, it, on, the, board, here? We've, had, some, uh, hospital, detours.

Well,, my, body, has, failed, me, a, few, times. Yeah,, I, don't, know, if, those, count., what I was thinking you were going to think.

Well, I think you want to know the way I've ruined vacations. Um, Stephanie and I really differ on what time to leave for airports. [snorts] And um, in fact, we went through that getting here tonight calling the car. Um, Stephanie wanted to call the car to where we would arrive 40 minutes early. Not interested in that. I'm not I'm not interested in that. Whereas I like to just roll

40, minutes, late. 40, minutes, late., No,, I'm, not., No., Um, don't you start pulling indoor problems with me.

Ari, and, Stephanie,, what, is, your, weirdest habit? Obviously, the one that you'd be okay revealing tonight in front of all these people. I'm not trying to end your relationships. So, again, Ari and Stephanie, what is your weirdest habit? and then love it and take what is the what just what you think is their weirdest habit.

Oh, my, gosh. It's nice they let me out of the back. It's just it's nice to occasionally come out. It's extremely hot up here. I wasn't anticipating that. Feel like I'm absorbing, heat., All, right., Um, All right, Stephanie, I'll have you start first. What is your weirdest?

This, sounds, so, weird. Okay,, great., My, cup, in, the, bath., Yes. Weird. My, cup.

And, then, take, I'll, have, you, turn, it around, please. Be cup in the bath. Money on when Stephanie points at all.

I, didn't, finish, writing, it, where, she points all of her fingers up at the water faucet in the bathtub. So similar.

The, same, thing. It's, the, same, thing., She, either, when, the when the water comes out of the faucet uh I notice cuz I go sit in on this stool next to the bath and talk to her while she's uh

enjoying, a, cup., Yep. Um, and, she, and, the, water, comes, out. She's in the tub. The water's coming out of the, faucet, and, she, makes, a, cup, with her hand for the water or she does this to the water. So it's I I hadn't finished writing the whole thing, but it's it's the water.

Wow., And, we'll, give, him, the, point., We'll give him the point. Temperature.

But, come, on., That's, pretty, impressive right there. That's, amazing., That's, amazing.

THAT'S, NOT, EVEN, THAT, WEIRD. 12, YEARS. This, is, what, This, is, why, when, I, say, I thought it was serendipitous that you were here. What a what an interesting

and, exemplary, couple. Thank, you, Michael., Cut. Ari,, uh,, would, you, mind, revealing, your weirdest habit?

Bringing, up, to-do, list, items, right before we fall asleep for things months away.

Great., Excellent. Wow., First, of, all,, I, feel, very, seen, by that answer. Oh, my, god., Don't, tell, me, it's, the, cup, in the bathtub.

No,, it's, uh, it's, a, similar, I, would, say this. It is connected. You will see how it is connected. If Ari leaves the house, they must shower when getting home. No exceptions. Even if it was just like 10 minutes that that once you're outside, you are unclean.

Yeah, I, like, your, style,, Ari. Yeah,, I'm, real, clean., Love, it. But, yes,, that, is, that, does, happen., But that was relates to my item earlier where I said I like to put off little tasks forever until we die

and, I, like, to, talk, about, them, as, I, fall asleep. And, I, think, weird, is, annoying., Annoying is weird. So really it is the same question. And that somehow was the game. Thank you. This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, the company that bought land on the US Mexico border to stop Trump's wall, sued Elon Musk for $15 million for trespassing on that land, used profits from red states to fund abortion access and paid people to give a [ __ ] about the 2024 election. Cards Against Humanity is one, of the, only, companies, stupid, enough to stand up to Donald Trump. They don't profit from their political stunts. So if you want them to be able to afford a good lawyer, consider buying one of their new games like Cards Against Humanity Tales, a book of fill-in-the-blank stories for horrible people, or [ __ ] List, a new way to play the game where you write the answers, or Party Mouth, a new party game about

shouting obscenities as a coping mechanism for the hellscape we live in. You listen to Crooked Media, so you're probably smart enough to figure out how to buy their stuff. Anyway, Cards Against Humanity apologizes for interrupting your podcast with their [ __ ] Love it or leave it is brought to you by the League of Conservation Voters. The climate crisis isn't a distant threat. here. It impacts everything from the air we breathe to where we call home. But even though things might feel bleak, there's real progress happening thanks to organizations like the League of Conservation Voters, LCV for short mobilizing people to stand up for the environment. For over 50 years, LCV has translated our shared hope for a greener future into pro- environmental policies that create clean energy jobs, make air cleaner to breathe, and water safer to drink, keep public lands in the public's hands, and ensure every community is a

healthy place to live. Now more than ever, LCV is counting on people like you to sustain their work. Every contribution funds their advocacy. From pushing for stronger climate policies to standing up to big polluters in the Trump administration, progress is happening, but it depends on us. Donate today at lcv.org/loit or leave it and help fuel LCV's critical work. Now through December 31st, every donation towards LCV's pursuit of a brighter future gets double matched. Together, let's make sure the planet never takes a backseat. Donate at lcv.org/ org/loit it or leave it today.

In honor of your 80th birthday Milwaukee, Wisconsin officially declared October 30th Henry Winkler Day. Uh Happy Days was set uh in Milwaukee. They previously have erected the bronze fonts.

Yes. Do, you, have, to, be, able, to, pull, off, a leather jacket to achieve your level of acclaim, you think?

Do, you, know, I, was, not, able, to, wear leather in the beginning. I had to wear cloth because ABC thought I would be associated with crime. So, and it very hard to be cool in cloth. I am not kidding. The collar did not stay up.

It's, very, funny, to, imagine, a, time, in which this was dangerous. This sweet this sweet character with his leather jacket and white t-shirt. We had Rob Reiner on and Rob Reiner had played a tough in the style of the FS where he had worn a leather jacket. But it's like, I'm sorry, but this is just a sweet Jewish boy on a on a motorcycle.

Well,, they, wanted, a, tall, Italian, and they got a short Jew. That, is, true., But, I, I, loved, it., I, really did. I loved and and you know, um my parents would were were shorter than I was and they were from Germany and they were really not supportive at all and they would call me Dumont, which means dumb dog.

What?, Yes., because, I'm, very, dyslexic. So, I didn't do well. I'm in the bottom 3% academically in America. And um I Oh where did I go? Yeah. Hey, I like I like that picture. But anyway uh then that jacket uh I I called my parents. I said, "Well, Dumah Hunt's jacket is now in the Smithsonian."

Wow. And, do, you, think, you, talked, about, being dyslexic? One of the a children's book that that's just coming out, right? Or one of the children's books you've written recently.

Okay., Can, I, brag? Yes. All, right., The, 40th, My, 40th, children's book came out September 30th.

Thank, you. Can, I, I, I, would, I, would, like, to, say,, and no pressure at all, but the holidays are coming and I

It's, about, a, little, duckling, who, dreams about being a detective and she's an environmentalist.

Yeah., And the duck is not dyslexic. The, duck, is, not, dyslexic. But, but, the, there's, a, an, overachiever.

The, writer, is Yes., But, didn't, you, write, Hank, Ziper? Hank, Ziper., 28, novels, about, a, little boy. Uh me. Uh okay. Great. Great story. PS87. I went to PS87 on 78 just up the block from where I was born and raised and and grew up on on 78th between Broadway and Amsterdam. So PS87 and I went there and I read Hank Ziper because he also goes to PS87. You write what you know. And so I I went to one an award show and there was uh Timothy Shalamé and I went up and I said, "I have to shake your hand because you are really terrific at what you do." He said "I'm a hugger." And so he gave me a hug. I was thrilled. And then he said, "The first time you came to PS87 with Hank Ziper, I was in the fourth grade and I was in the audience when you read the book." Oh my god.

Wow., Is, it's, still, working., Little, Timitee. Yeah. But, the, boy, in, that, book, has, dyslexia.

He, He, is, me. He, is, you, and, you, have, dyslexia. So, the, the, the, emotionality, of, that little boy in the book uh is true. And the comedy uh my writing partner Lynn Oliver uh we the comedy we made up.

But, I'm, guess, what, I'm, asking, is, do, you think your insecurities came from dyslexia? Like how much of a role has dyslex dyslexia played in driving

you?, You, I, took, geometry, for, four, years. Same course. I took it in regular school and in summer school. Regular school. Summer school. Regular school. Summer school. And uh I finally passed it with a D minus so I could go to the one college that accepted me, Emerson in Boston. And thank you. Yeah, I got in. And uh I nearly got kicked out, but I got in. And uh from that day in August of uh 1963 that I passed with a D minus, not one person has ever said hypotenuse to me. But sometimes you're figuring out which direction to go and then you think

I, know, my, left, because, it's, the, arm, I stick out the the window when I'm driving. That's how I know my left.

Really?, I I, struggle, with, that,, too., You, know, what I struggle with? I have to I have to get in the map. Like uh uh on Friends, I I I got to rotate that map. Whatever direction I'm facing, I got to turn the map fully around.

Is, that, true? Yeah. I, can't, read, the, map. Boy,, we'd, be, we'd, be, terrible, in, The Amazing Race.

I, Or would we? Up next, Alex English, Punky Johnson and River Butcher took the bench to form our nation's first gay Supreme Court. And we found Pete Buddha Judge for president by reason of sanity. Following that, Jean Marco Seri and Roywood Jr. wake us up about the future of late night at Montreal's Just for Laughs Comedy Festival mere days after Steven Coar got the axe from CBS. While we on the subject of education, look since we on since we on the Supreme Court, look, I get it. Like black like black history is American history and it should be taught, but not in every school. I feel like like like I feel like white people I don't really need y'all to know black history like that.

Like it's actually none of y'all business. It's actually really none of your cuz like have you ever met like a white dude who went to NYU who learned about black history? That's the most annoying [ __ ] you've ever met. Like one time I was talking to a dude one of these types of dudes, and he was like, you know, he was talking to me about black history. He kept referencing [ __ ] that I kind of didn't know.

But, but, instead, of, being, like,, "Oh, yeah, that's cool." I'm like "Get the [ __ ] out of my face, dog. What the [ __ ] you telling me about James Baldwin for? [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] Get the [ __ ] on, bitch." Like this telling me about my [ __ ] My This my [ __ ]

He, was, trying, to, be, a, friend. No,, he, was, being, racist., That's, racist. I don't know how it's racist. I can't tell you exactly why it's racist, but I felt racial. I felt racial.

Hey,, that's, it., Your, feelings, are, valid, and we we are not going to question your feelings. Not on this stage. How about that? I still feel targeted.

All right,, last, one.,, On, a recent episode of his podcast, Tucker Carlson accused Pete Buddha Judge of being secretly straight.

I've, always, wanted, to, interview, him. He's never agreed to interview, but I'm going to, ask, him, like, some, very, specific questions about gay sex and see if he can even answer. I doubt he even knows.

I, loved, how, like, excited, he, got, about really specific gay sex questions. Listen, man. Listen, man. He's from where he from Indiana. Yeah, from Yeah. Yeah. That's the kind of white dude who want to be straight.

He, He, want, to, I, get, it., He, went, to, the military. All that [ __ ] I understand Pete. He could have stayed in the closet all that.

Listen, y'all., Listen, y'all, for, a, while. Listen. We not going to get We not going to get you know my fellow Americans. That's not how we get We not going to get that. And Pete is not that. This is why this [ __ ] can run for office, dog. Like he could be the first gay president cuz this [ __ ] on paper is the president. He was a [ __ ] what? Governor was governor, right? Or mayor mayor mayor but he was mayor in [ __ ] middle of nowhere [ __ ] Indiana. He went to the military. Went to the [ __ ] top is tripping.

That's, a, straight, man., THAT'S, A, STRAIGHT WHITE MAN ON PAPER. But this [ __ ] sucks.

He, should, have, pulled, a, Beyonce., He should have pulled the [ __ ] Beyonce.

Let, me, tell, you, something. He, should, have, faked, it, till, he, [ __ ] made it and then hit us with one of these when he became president.

But, that's, not, him. Because America's not going to vote for this [ __ ] right now.

VOTE, FOR, He, should, HAVE, FAKED, LIKE, A STRAIGHT WHITE MAN. HE HAS ZERO VOTED IN act like he was [ __ ] [ __ ] and then hit us with the walking walking though.

I, somewhat, I, agree, with, that., But, also, I just think, you know, like for him it's like listen

I'm, trying, to, be, here, for, all, of, y'all. If y'all would just shut the [ __ ] up dog. Shut the [ __ ] up. Let me That was the same thing with Hillary. Hillary should have been like autumn. All them white women, shut the [ __ ] up. Let me do this. He could have he could have really cuz like the thing is Pete Pete Pete exists in Let me tell you something. Let me

arguing, for, people, arguing, for, Pete because let me tell you why. Because my mom my mom during the during the campaign my his campaign for presidency my mom at some point she got on the horn and she called me. She was like I'm thinking about voting for Pete and y'all don't know my mama. I'm like, you just was okay with me being gay yesterday and now you want a [ __ ] that suck dick to run your country. That's progress. And my mama is light-skinned and in the same uh sorority as Kla Harris. So, I'm telling y'all right now, y'all not ready for them kind of problems.

Counterpoint., No,, I'm, kidding. Like I [ __ ] said, he would have made a great president. He should have faked it like Beyonce when everybody was like "Damn, Beyonce Black." We should have been saying that about Pete. We don't. Oh [ __ ]

Pete., The, fruit, cup., HELL, YEAH., HE, A [ __ ] fruit cup. I like fruit cups.

You, sound, like, my, uncle. Ain't, nothing, wrong, WITH, THE, NO,, THE PROBLEM. HERE GO THE THING. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE FACT that he gay. That's This is why America [ __ ] make ME SICK. THE WHY THE [ __ ] Why the [ __ ] it got to be about being gay? What about who he is as a [ __ ] person? He's a good person. You know, he he's worthy of the goddamn job. He got the stats. He got He did the [ __ ] work. He did the homework. He's a man of the god. He's a man of America because he g He ain't [ __ ] qualified, man. [ __ ] y'all [ __ ] man. Pete, [ __ ]

Pete,, [ __ ], [ __ ] you, should, be, on, his, next, camp., Pete, [ __ ] Pete,, [ __ ], That's,, what, it is.

And, I, Pete,, if, you, out, there,, if, you watching this, hire this [ __ ] okay? You know what I'm saying?

She, will, get, you. There, people, out, here, listening, to [ __ ] that was never in the [ __ ] military. didn't [ __ ] complete college. Don't know what they just up here making up their own theories and ideologies. You got people listening to these [ __ ] Ain't about Pete, [ __ ]

Pete,, [ __ ], [ __ ], [ __ ] Pete,, [ __ ], This, week,, the, nation, reeled, as, CBS canled the Late Show with Steven Colbear, which will end next year. The announcement came on the heels of Trump's settlement with CBS's parent company Paramount, and Donald Trump took to True Social to gloat, saying, "I absolutely love that Colbear got fired." Uh uh what were Steven Colbear's uh three words in response to the president? Uh Jean Marco, you take it.

[ __ ], you,, Trump. It's, incorrect. Go, [ __ ], yourself. That's, correct. That's, so, That's, so, harsh., I, feel, like Trump is Co Bear's most loyal viewer. I I mean it's it's such a case of of sore winning. I feel like Trump would would want Colbear there. I mean, you know, Colbear let let people like my mom blow off steam. You know, once that show's canceled, my mom's going to be like, "Fuck, I guess I have to storm the capital now." And I mean, have is did anyone see the South Park episode last night? So, this is what happened. He's such a sore winner. He gets rid of Co Bear. Now South, Park,, who, just, secured, a, $ 1.5 billion deal with Paramount Plus released an episode where they just talk [ __ ] about Trump and how small his penis is for the entire episode. It ends It ends with a It ends with a twominute AI generated video of Trump walking through the desert, stripping down, fully nude, and then his penis

saying, "This message is endorsed by Donald Trump." And and now Paramount Plus can cancel their deal, but they still have to pay $ 1.5 billion.

You, should, have, stuck, with, with, the enemy you knew. Roy,, you, you've, been, in, the, late, night game for a long time. Uh what was your reaction to the Cob Bear news?

Uh, it, it, was, you, don't, you, don't, do, it like that. If it's about budget, you get an opportunity to trim fat and find solutions. Coar was not given that. Jimmy Fallon's facing budget issues. They go to four nights a week. Seph Meyers faces budget issues. They got rid of the 8G ban. Jimmy Kimmel and them they have their issues. And so, you know, Jimmy takes more time off during the summer. I know a lot of that is about the stress of late night in politics and want to be around the sun more, but it still helps the budget if you have guest hosts. So, to so to say that Coar is over budget and then you just immediately go, we're going to cancel it. That means that either you hate the man or you just really do not have a plan. And I know that Late Night's at a tough pinch because this is still the same network to Paramount's credit. Cordon leaves, you replace it with Taylor Tomlinson with After

Midnight, which is a much much cheaper show to do. And when Taylor decides to not come back, rather than look for a new host, rather than replace her on the cheaper show, they just said, "Fuck it. We're not even going to replace that." and they air literally episodes of Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen from 15 years ago in that time slot, which just shows you what they think of the value proposition of that time slot. That's not a dig at Byron Allen. I'm just saying that they they're content with just whatever the [ __ ] is just [ __ ] put it up there. We're talking about episodes of TV still in standard the square [ __ ] like it's So are they trying to abandon late night as a format? I think that they definitely are trying to figure out a way to do it a different way, but I don't know that they have the solution.

I don't know if they are young. His, name, is, Greg, Gutfeld. Ha. I, mean,, late, night's, a, lot, cheaper, when you, don't, have, writers., You, know what, I mean?

Yeah. Have, you, ever, seen, that?, Have, you, seen Gutfeld? Yeah,, I've, seen, Gutfeld.

It's, got, Is, this, the, jokes? I, thought, they, had, writers. I, They, They, do,, but, but, you, know, they're not putting their own.

Also,, Gutfeld, is, technically, a, prime time show. And I'm tired of people categorized. If we're going to pardon us for a second, the SAG SAG after talk right now. Yeah, it doesn't come on after 11:30, so technically it's not a late night show. But he keeps saying he's the king of late night, but you're not. You're the king of prime time unscripted. That could be late night if it were on an hour [ __ ] later. It's not. Stop lying to the people. And and I'll say that like even [ __ ] like Gutfell makes me laugh sometimes but it's still as

Wait,, what, does, it, make, you, laugh? There, are, punchlines, every, blue, moon., My god, there's more editing in that than an Epstein prison video.

The My point is that network television clearly does not have a solution for how to create a profitable product at 11:30 or 12:30. So much so that rather than brainstorm something, we'll just air something from the vault in the meantime. And I feel like next year or I think in two years when when the rest of the boys contracts are up across the networks, it's going to be interesting to see what happens. I think we'll end up seeing something that is very similar to what is happening in sports. If you watch sports television they go, "Oh, you got a good podcast.

Here's four years 80 mil Pat McAfee. Just come do that [ __ ] over here." That's easier than developing a show. And I think you'll see something similar like that, you know, like a show that maybe has three pink couches that already has a following that could, you know,

they, know, where, to, find, me and yet they never seem to look. But the the plan was for this always to be a podcast for a decade now. That was the plan from the [ __ ] beginning. Uh yeah, the the thing that's sad like The Late Show loses apparently $50 million in its current formation, but there's $ 1.5 billion for South Park. So $50 million in the grand scheme of things is a rounding error for Paramount, which is a $30 billion revenue business. uh the fact that they have decided that the the Late Show brand a marquee historic legacy institution which we do not make more of we don't make more of these things uh globally known uh brands in media that are from before social media that whether it's the fact that all of our movie stars are 60 years old or the fact that these we don't make them anymore and the fact that they can't find a way or don't want to find a way to get the value out of the late

show which still gets millions of views on YouTube which still could be something that exists on streaming that could do all it's a t they have chosen that they don't want to find a way to make this worse because they don't want the headache because all these big companies that kind of sucked up your NBC's Disney owns ABC right buys NBC Paramount owns CBS all these companies sucked up all these American icons and institutions uh because they saw synergies because they saw prestige because billionaires just thought it would be fun to talk about or to go to the premers back when there was no risk because there wasn't a president who exploited and abused his office to put his thumb on the scales to try to get coverage he liked. Right? And so all those threats about how dangerous corporate media would be have become true. And when these guys are finally tested because it actually costs something to have a comedian on every

night making fun of the president, they just don't care. But I I do think we have to acknowledge the fact that a lot of late night and I understand that in reaction to Trump, it felt like the entertainment had to become as partisan could be because it felt like there was something so so evil that you had to focus all your attention on it that I did think it it it did not criticize power in general. It criticized one side of power. And the problem with that is I did think you created a partisan late night that did turn off a lot of people.

I'm not saying you that that they should have been nicer to Trump by any means. In in fact, I think they should have been meaner to all people in power or more apolitical. One of the two, you choose. But I do think there's a reality where you late night, you know, people love to talk about how Carson was apolitical and that allowed him to host any award show and everyone could enjoy it and allowed him to be a kind of figure in American culture that everyone could enjoy. Now, you could argue that with someone as as fascistic as Trump that you shouldn't have you shouldn't have anyone who isn't just targeting him every single time, but I do think comedy and comedians in general lean too hard into focusing on one particular thing that they lost a lot of people. What's so interesting about South Park going this hard is because they have a lot of credit where they never really pandered to anyone. And and I do think uh late

night and comedy and political comedy in general has to step back and look at at how how we critique not just one side of things but that you're constantly so so you can bring in more people. You need you I I don't think you you have a tent for shows the same way political party has tent and you need to build a tent around making fun of those in power and whether it's whether it's whether it's Hillary Clinton whether it's Trump whether it's Nancy Pelosi whether it's convenient to the moment or or whether you feel that you an election is coming up the moment you start isolating and you you you push people away and then you never bring them in and then you never sway anyone's mind and your entire audience are people who just are are being pandered to and and kind of get some steam off every night. And I do think there's a consequence to that and and and I'm not saying Coar should have been cancelled and obviously I think the

reasons are just to to pander to Trump for this deal, but I do think late night has to take comedy has to take accountability of what it is to to in the face of something that feels so evil to still criticize the people that enabled him because it's not just him. It's the people who enabled him and a lot of those are Democrats.

But, what, you're, talking, about, is, noble, it's very noble but it's not maximum profit. Because if you've created a show that has somehow one day woken up this far on the left side of every issue to stand in the pocket and do exactly what you're talking about, well, now you're going to rank the one couple of people that are giving you a ratings bump at a time where TV is dying. John Stewart, to his credit, the first day John Stewart came back last year, he called Joe Biden old. That was like literally 30 seconds into the episode and they were all, "Oh, how could you?"

That's, why, he's, one, of, the, great. And, now, look,, now, it's, like,, "Well, [ __ ] he was old." And even the crackhead agrees and and so and I think where Trey Parker and Matt Stone differ is that they have never had to taste the dopamine of public agulation. And that is a difficult drug to [ __ ] turn off and go, I'm gonna stand in this pocket and be hated and I'm okay with that. And

well,, you, know, who's, good, at, helping, you get off drugs? Hunter Biden. And, that, is, a, great, place, to, leave, it for now. Love or Relieve It is brought to you by Sundays. We all love the idea of feeding our dogs real fresh food, but the reality is that fresh dog food usually means taking up freezer space time to thaw and prep, then a lot of mess when you serve it. Get the good without the hassle with Sundes. Sundays was founded by veterinarian and mom Dr. Tory Waxman, who got tired of seeing so-called premium dog food full of fillers and synthetics. So, she designed Sundays, airdried real food made in a human-grade kitchen using the same ingredients and care you'd use to cook for yourself and your family. Every bite of Sundaes is clean and made from real meat, fruits, and veggies with no kibble. Get that kibble out of there.

That means no weird ingredients you can't pronounce and no fillers. Compared to Kibble or other brands out there Sundays invest 50 times more in its ingredients to ensure premium quality because your dog deserves food made with care, not in the interest of cost cutting. And the best part, you just scoop and serve. No freezer, no thawing or prep, no mess. Just nutrient-rich clean food that fuels their happiest healthiest days so you can get more of them to share together. You got to feed your dog great dog food that's healthy.

Sundays is great. Leo likes Sundays. I like the airdried dog food. you get the best of it being healthy and not kind of the bad stuff, but also you have to deal with the fridge stuff or the defrosting the food. So, I think it's great. If you give your dog healthy dog food, you're going to notice more energy, better mood, more calm, more focused. They'll they'll they won't need extra time when they take the SATs, softer coat, less itching, no eye boogers. Wow, finally they've cured eye boogers, and better stool. That sounds good. Make this wish to Sundays. Go right. Maybe I'll eat it.

Make this wish to Sundays. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com/loit. Get 50% off your first order or you can use code love it at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at sundays fordogs.com/loit. Sundays fordogs.com/loit or use code love it at checkout. Love it or leave it. Brought to you by Aura Frames. For anyone still hunting for the right gift, aframes makes it look like you planned it all along. Look, it's hard to think of the right gift for family members sometimes and you every year it's a challenge. But with this you get somebody a nice picture frame.

You load it up with sweet moments from your past. It's so thoughtful and people really love it. It's both an object and an experience. You know, people love experiences. It's a gifty experience over time. You can preload photos before it ships and keep adding from anywhere anytime. Upload unlimited photos and videos to your frame for free. Just download the Aura app and connect to Wi-Fi. It only takes about 2 minutes to set up a frame using the Aura app. Ted Sarandos loaded up an Aura app with pictures of South Park featuring Trump to give to Trump as a gift. So, that was a smart thing he did. It's

genius, move. Every, frame, comes, packaged, in, a, premium gift box with no price tag. So, there's no gift wrapping necessary. If you want to personalize your gift, you can add a message before it arrives. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting orurframes.com to get $35 off Aura's bestselling carvermat frames, named number one by Wire Cutter by using promo code love it at checkout. That's a rframes.com. Promo code love it. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So, order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support our show. Mention us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

Next up, we have Robbie Hoffman and Rachel Bloom who joined for a very special episode. Both my parents and my future in-laws were in the audience. Even my 10-year-old nephew Bennett got to take part. Specifically, the part where Rachel wasn't talking about the idea of pegging her husband. In this it's that even saying it now, it sounds crazy. Uh, in this clip, we review classic Jewish stereotypes and celebrate the queers. Truly, it was a Passover to remember. Speaking of juice, I also make David Crumb Holtz and Anna Gastire pick their favorite New York kmage during maybe the happiest week in recent Big Apple memory. The week Zam Donnie officially became the next mayor of New York. Also, Danny DeVito fans, beware.

You're in first gear. Robbie and Rachel I think it's fair to say that it's part of our collective Jewish heritage to shy away from exhibiting any traits that Goyam might consider cliche. For example, using the word [ __ ] in front of the Goyam. Uh, however, in the spirit of Passover, I wanted to give all of us an opportunity tonight to lighten our mental load by embracing some Semitic stereotypes in a segment we're calling If the Jew Fits. [bell] I will uh serve up a Jewish stereotype and Robbie and Rachel, you'll tell us whether or not the stereotype resonates with you.

Jewish, stereotype, confessions. Great., I'm, sure, no, people, will, be, angry at this.

Yeah,, for, sure., Uh,, first, up, complaining. Confetting. Uh, what's wrong with complaining? to complain is to enjoy. To me that this they're one and the same. I could be on a yacht and find it too shaky. It doesn't mean it doesn't mean it means I'm enjoying I'm alive. I'm in the experience. I there there's something that I find baffling. Why are you so cold

or, hot?, Or, hot., But, my, family, my, my, you, can't, be under a draft. My grandfather when my mom was growing up, they would have to restaurant hop if if the restaurant was too cold.

But, but, we, come, from, I, mean, some, of, I, I don't know., We're, desert, people., Well well I guess yeah look if we're talking OG desert people so I guess it's not but it gets cold in the desert too. I was going to say

in, Europe, for, sure., So, it, depends, how long your DNA is remembering back.

I, just, Jews, are, cold. They, are, cold., We, were, we, were, uh, in, in Mexico at a really nice hotel over the holidays.

Excuse, me. Not, to, brag,, we've, been, to, Mexico. Uh but so we're there and we're sitting we're sitting at this and we watch this this the the it was we were there around Hanukkah, so we knew who all the Jews were because we had done a candle lighting. And so then we're sitting at this table and we watch just Jewish family after Jewish family just say no to this one table. They just got walked to the table. Uh Ari remembers this. And they're like, "Nope." And they would get walked to another table. And then another Jewish family came. They tried to sit. Nope. It was behind a pole. They couldn't see the view. What? Moved.

Moved. Three Jewish families said no to this table. And then a lovely, very clearly not Jewish couple are sat at this table. They eat their whole meal and they're so happy. And at the end the the the the man said the most kind of Christian thing I've ever heard which is he turned to the to the waiter and said, "Would you please send the chef our compliments?"

I, don't, think, a, Jew's, ever, said, that. No., I, always, have, envy, for, these, type, of people because it takes me so much. I feel like it's like if you get started watching porn, then you need crazier and crazier porn. These type of people. It's like sometimes I'm on a plane. I was on a plane next to just a regular Midwestern type of lady. She must have been mid50s. She ordered penogrigio. Whatever. She's watching Mall Cop 2. Not Mall Cop 1. Mall Cop 2. Kevin James in a mall on a

Paul, Blart., The, Paul, Blart, one. What? Paul, Blart., Go, on. Paul, Blart. I, don't, know.

Was, it, Paul, Blart? Kevin, James., Paul. It's, Paul., I, don't, know., I, don't, know why I'm connect. It feels like I'm correcting Kevin James's pronouns, but it's I'm not. It's just It's Paul. I think it's

Paul, Blart., Have, you, seen, King, of Queens? I love that show. Anyway she is this lady is sitting next to me. I'm middle seat. This lady, it's like even the setup to any joke, she's already dying. She's like plot stout. Like she's like [ __ ] dying. Then as soon as the joke hits whatever the slapstick stupid he falls off the thing. She's the wine is everywhere. Like she is she's dying at this movie. And meanwhile, I'm still looking for something to watch. It takes me so long to find something. And this lady could just throw on whatever's there and enjoy her life. And I have an envy for these people.

Absolutely., No,, I, know, it, is., There's something about it's beautiful. You're just sort of like that's so cool.

They, just, enjoy, so, much., I, I, I, still, get like that when it come like I will rewatch any of the Austin Powers and I'm back to being in middle school and like a couple weeks ago I was like my daughter has to see Austin Powers and so I turn on Austin Powers 2 and the first thing is like fat bastard having just [ __ ] Heather Graham and and I'm like nope never mind she will not see Austin Powers. Can I also say like for the record though, my 5-year-old completely understands gay people. It's it's not for anyone who's like, "Don't kiss in front of my kid. Are you going to make me explain gay people to my kid?" It it's really easy. You just say, "Some men love men and some women love women."

They go, "Okay, it's so true." The first time I heard about a trans person or anything like that was our cousin Pinsky who was enormous. He was the size of the car and he was the greatest guy. and he would come to visit us and we don't I don't even know how he's my cousin and Pinsky showed up. His girlfriend must have been 6'4. So Pinsky shows up and we were Labavich. We were cussidic kids. We're like this is the tallest lady we've ever seen. And we went up to my mother and my mother was just like making like making and and I'm like mom what's up with this like and we were like all asking her like me and my brother like Binsk's girlfriend is so tall like just the tallest girl we ever and we kept saying how tall are you? how you're a kid. How tall are you? You know, and she was happy to tell us and whatever. And I was like, "What's with Binsky?" And she goes, "Born a boy and now she's a girl." And I'm like "Oh

okay." And it totally made it sense. It made it that's why she's tall. And we all moved on. That was the end of that. There was no followup. I was like, "Oh yeah."

So,, it's, very, easy., And, then, you, don't have if you make it a bigger deal. It's like if a kid falls

Yeah., Yeah., Yeah. It's, fine., Yeah., Yeah. It's, like, It's, fine, if, you, make, it, a bigger deal. Oh, what happened? Da da da. They're going to be screaming crying.

It's, almost, like, we, need, to, take, the whole conservative movement and just when and then show them a bunch of trans and gay people and just go, "You're okay.

It's, no, big, deal., You're, okay., You're fine. Just you're going to get up and run around and have a good time with your friend. You're okay."

Yeah. You're, okay., You're, a, tough, little, guy. You're okay. Exactly. Have, you, have, any, uh, experiences, with some classic hormon?

Yes., I, I, I, worked, with, They're, both dead, so I can bash them. Um it's, Dick, Cheney, you, were, telling, me backstage.

What's, that? Dick, Cheney. Dick, Cheney., Yeah,, I, worked, with, him very closely. What a [ __ ] just constantly complaining about his back. Um, no, I I don't know. I worked with uh Alan Arin who was quite kerogyny and hilarious and lovely and way funnier when he was angry than when he was trying to be funny. You ever be you ever around someone where they get super duper angry and it's the funniest thing you've ever seen and you have to hide your laughter? He would notice. I see it's not even funny. I don't know why you're laughing. You know, I was standing on a bridge in Nova Scotia looking out over a lake and I thought I should kill myself. So, I'm going to throw myself in the lake.

Instead, I decided to spend the rest of my life working on myself. Wow. And now it's time for a game we're calling Arma Kamageon. Here's how it works. I'm going to name her Kamudin who's either from New York or really seems like they should be. David and Anna, you're gonna blind rank that mudge on a scale of one to five with one being the most mudinly. Uh but you won't know who the next kermage will be.

Oo,, this, is So, you're, ranking, them, from, one, to, five, but you may you have to be careful because you don't know who will be next.

Okay. Okay., First, up. Yeah., I'm, I'm, checking, to, see, if, she understands it as well. Yes. Okay.

I, just, want, to, make, sure, everyone's comfortable. I'm, trying. This, is, fun.

Remember, Oenheimer? Yeah., First up yes, we, have, Vermont, senator, and, Brooklyn's native son, Bernie Sanders.

Oh,, man., Wow. Here's, the, classic, photo, from, Biden's inauguration. Yeah, good, emoji.

Uh,, I, was, once, interviewing, Bernie Sanders and mid question he went he leaned back and looked to his aid and went,

"That's, real., That, really, happened, to me." It was a real blow. It was a real blow. That's kerin behavior. That's kmaja behavior. Anna, where do where do you think Where do you think you're going to rank?

Okay., I'm, just, gonna, say, he, has, messages of hope that are veiled under messages of doom and dread. Um

so, I'm, going, to, say, he's, a, three., I'm not going to give him the number one spot.

One, is, the, most, kerogyn. I'm, going, to, say, three. Five, would, be, the, least.

Yes,, I'm, I'm, in, I'm, in, I'm, in, consensus here. Next, up,, we, have Fran, Leowitz. Huh?

Yeah. One, thing, about, leaving, your, apartment is that there are so many other people out there. The great thing about my apartment, aside from the fact that it's a, great, apartment,, is, that, I, can control if there are other people in it. [snorts]

A, classic, Hermogen, sentence, if, I'd, ever heard one. I'm, going, to, go, You, know, what?, She's really

Yeah, I'm, gonna, say, number, one., I'm, going, to take a risk and say she's the most kermogyny New Yorker.

I'm, gonna, just, say, two, because, we, got, to do the math. You like math? I, do., I, do, like, math., Okay., A, two, from Anna. Next up, Larry David.

Where, are, we, on, the, Caroline?, Where, are we in the rankings to this point? Cuz we're going to have to put him in a slot.

Well,,, that, makes, sense, to, me because it's all a joke. It's all a bit. His, mind, works., He's, a, comedy, machine. It's all a bit.

Do, I, think, he's, like, that, in, real, life? probably to some extent. He's, very, much, that, in, real, life.

Yeah,, I, saw I, had, to, fake, an, orgasm, for, 4, hours, on, a car rig driving around Park Avenue up and down cuz I did an episode of Curb where my running board of my car was broken and we were on a date and by the time we pulled up in front of my apartment he was like "Do you want to go up?" And I was like "No, I'm good." So that's like a long time to chat with someone in between fake orgasms. Four hours just going around and around. And he's hilarious. But he's he's a crank.

Yeah., What, an, amazing, achievement, to make. I don't feel like talking to people and sometimes I'm in a bad mood. Your delightful brand. cuz he can just walk out of any room he wants at any time and everyone's like, "Classic Larry."

Yes. Brilliant. What, a, genius. And, to, take, everything, insane, he's, ever done and make an incredible piece of television out of it. I mean, he, you know, he really did famously storm out of Saturday Night Live, which absolutely everybody has at one point or another wanted to do and several people have but where he like threw his pages and stormed out. He famously tells the story., He, was, one, of the, things, we talked about. We were driving around the block.

Have, you, ever, quit, a, job? No,, I'm, I'm, the, worst., I, I, just put, up, with, abuse.

Just, take, it, on, and, have, a, lot, of, extra therapies. And I, had, to, quit, one, once.

You, did? Because, of, a, kerogen. Okay., Go, on. He, absolutely, hated, me., And, every, time, I told him I loved him, it made him hate me more. and and and you have had him on this show

and, he, [ __ ], loathes, me, and, I, was lovely to him. I worshiped the guy. I, would, have, combed, his, hair, if, he, asked me to

and, he's, been, on, this, show. He, has., God, damn, it. Well,, that's, a, Yeah.

And, he's, kmoginly, one, of, his, most, iconic characters is an incredibly kermogyny person. You know what I'm talking about.

I, don't. Okay., Now,, maybe, we, should, leave, it, that way. We'll, leave, it, there, for, That's, where we'll leave it. Oh, you want that?

No,, I'll, say, it., Danny, DeVito, [ __ ] hated me. And, it, was, so, bad, that, I, had, to, quit.

What, happened? It, was, unbelievable., Look,, he, had, just gotten sober and gone vegan at the same time.

That's, a, mistake., Too, many, changes., It's too many changes. Too, many, changes.

Too, many, changes. You, can't, give, up, alcohol, and, and, meat protein. You, got, to, have, a, Big, Mac, and, and, a beer. He cursed me out one day so bad for the I said there was a line. We're doing this play and I was doing the rehearsals and there was a line where I say, "Hey uh you know, you could go to the uh the actor's home in New Brunswick is the line. I don't know if you guys know what play that is. I'm not going to tell you." But anyway, and uh I said in rehearsal, you know, I'm ter I said "Well, there's the actor's home in New Brunswick." And he said, "Wait a second.

Is there a question mark at the end of that line?" And I said, I said, 'Well no. THEN WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE A QUESTION? I SAID, I don't know. Just rehearsal. AND HE SAYS, SAY THE [ __ ] LINE.

And, that, was, after, a, long, string, of abuse. And I thought, and my wife was pregnant with my first child, and I had like all this insecure. I was like freaking out. And I was like, I I said I need a break. And I went outside and I called my dad. And my dad was a New York City mailman. Worked his ass off. Was had to be at work at 2:00 a.m. every morning for 30 years.

Wow. And, he, was, always, the, guy, that, was, like, "Take the money and don't complain about anything." So I knew and I called him and he was like, "You quit." He was so upset. And then I told him the story and he said "Good for you, son. Don't take [ __ ] from anybody." And I went back in and I said, "I'm sorry, but this is not for me." And I'll never forget, he was sitting on a bed and he got up, which wasn't much of a change. And he looked at me and he said, "What the fuck?" And I said "I can't make you happy man. [ __ ] nasty. You hate me. Cursing me out in front of everybody I [ __ ] say a line. What the fuck?"

Yeah. Broke, my, heart. Really?, Truly., Yeah,, but, you, did, the right thing. You did the right thing. I would have cried, too. But you would have You did the right thing.

I, did, the, right, thing., Yeah. Yeah., Really?, You, did. Yeah. Thank, you. Because,, by, the, way,, too,, it's, eight, a week.

It's, rehearsal., Like,, that's, not, going to get better. And, look,, he's, probably, a, lovely, guy., He was going through a very difficult time.

Yeah., I, kind, of, want, to, be, a And, I, just, want, to, say, that, although, no one, if this ever gets out in the no one's going to see this part where I

No, one's, going, to, include, the I, have, compassion, for, the, Keragin., And I'll tell you why. No doubt Fran Liowitz is incontinent. No doubt

and, if, you, were, walking, around, with, a giant [ __ ] Yeah. Between, your, ass, cheeks.

80%, of, these, people, have, IBS., That, is true. It, just, goes, with, the, territory.

That's, right. It's, there's, a, reason, they, call, it, a sour stomach. And, we'll, be, right, back.

All, right., As, promised,, I, am, now, joined by my writers. Hi Kefir. Oh, hello Sarah Lazarus. What's up

for, the, second, official, love, it, or, leave it sandwich of justice. Sandwich, of, justice.

While, writing, our, November, 1st, episode, I bet Sarah Lazarus a sandwich. A sandwich of her choosing. That a joke I really believed in would in fact get laughs during the live show. Lazarus said it would not. And listener, you're not going to believe this. She was right. But, I, am a, man, of, my, word., Especially, if those words are, "God damn it, I have to buy Sarah Lazarus a [ __ ] sandwich." So, uh, uh, Lazarus, how are you feeling about your well-deserved win?

Um,, I'd, like, to, say, that, I, take, no pleasure in being right. But that would be a lie.

Yeah,, you, got, to, be, honest., This, is, a space of honesty and justice and reconciliation. I take pleasure in being right. I take pleasure in eating a sandwich.

Two, great, two, great, tasty, tastes, great together. Now,, this, is, our, second, sandwich., The first sandwich went to Halley.

Yes., It, was, um, one, of, our, actually, I believe YouTube uh videos in case you want to go check it out where we sort of get into the weeds about uh joke writing and uh love it and I want to be clear these are always love it making a bet with us the people he hires to write funny jokes for him. He says, "I bet you this is going to work." And we say "Okay." And obviously the loser has to buy a sandwich. In that case, Love It was incorrect again and I received a sandwich of my choosing. And it was I think this is a great way. I mean, you could also listen to us when I tell we tell you this, but I like this better cuz in that situation, I don't get a sandwich.

This, is, a great, way., This, is, a, great, way to agree to disagree because we have a lot of conversations about which jokes work and which don't and and I I will defer. I like be persuaded, but once in a while there's something kooky and strange. Sometimes it's long. Sometimes I'll want to fight for a long

story and, we're, going, to, listen, to, it, and we'll see how long it is. Yeah.

And, they, have, worked, like, they, do, work. Absolutely. They will. But but the one that I biffed on with you was a a pretty confusing story about a Swiss finance uh trying to get a chocolate business going despite tariffs. And even as I say that, of course, it didn't work. It was you calling them to let them know the business would not be moving forward. And also you worry yourself which I also think made it an extra layer of confusion about what was going on.

Yes., Yes., Absolutely. But, you, have, to, swing, big, if, you, want, to hit those homers. And

I, mean, I, am, laughing, now. Yeah., That's, true. Yes., The, the, joke, talking, about, the, joke has been funnier than the joke.

Uh, another, great, sign., So, we're, going to revisit the unedited footage of the joke bombing including the most Okay, we're calling it shameful. the most shameful part of the entire saga when I tried to rig the audience reaction in my favor ahead of time. Instead, I just ended up humiliating just like beatth would in this joke. You know what? Let's listen uh to the clip and you can judge for yourself. What are we going to say?

I, was, going, to, say, stop, the, steel. There's, a, joke, coming, up, later, that's really going to require you to believe and I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'm not I'm just letting them know that, it's, coming., All right., And, so, far, I'm worried. I'm worried given where we're at right now that I'm not gonna have you when we get there. And the problem is I bet someone at the office a sandwich that it will work. Now, this what I've just done truthfully, what's cool is it won't this is this happening now. When we get to that joke later, it won't matter. It will work or it won't. It will live or it will die. But then we will remember what I said here and we will circle back to it to see if my energy about you.

We'll see. Speaking of presidencies dragged down by their own violent lawlessness in Latin America, on Monday Pete Hegsath announced that 14 people were killed in strikes against several boats off the coast of Mexico, the deadliest attack in Trump's ongoing campaign against alleged drug traffickers in the Pacific and the Caribbean. Shall we toast to a job well done, said Pete Hegsth? To a four-star admiral who has a recurring dream about making Hegsth cry because Hegathth keeps falling off his tricycle and spilling eggs everywhere.

Now,, here's, the, question. I'm going to You can say yes and you can say no. And I want you to be honest. Did the person who bet me that that joke would fail, were they correct? Yes.

Or, no? She gets the sandwich. Let's face it. Let's face it. [ __ ] Here's, something, that, I, learned, from watching this on stage. I thought it was closer watching the video. That joke bombed

and, then, you, just, keep, mugging., Just Yeah., You, got, a, You're, mugging., You're mug crazy.

Mug, each, hand., So, I, so, I, want, to, make two points in my own defense which is one I genuinely believe that what I said in the before the joke which was a few minutes before the joke did not would could not have tipped it in my favor. I do not think if it worked it would have been because I had prepared them because they couldn't have known what joke I was talking about until it was over after they'd already left or not. So, as much as I am being shamed for claiming to put my thumb on the scales, I don't think my I think I was putting my thumb on something. I didn't I didn't get anywhere close to the scale.

And, I, think, that's, what, makes, it shameful is that if it had worked, I would have Well, let's say we'll tip my hat to that. It would have made it work. Exactly., That, worked., That, would have been comedy.

Exactly., And, the, fact, that, you, put, your thumb on again wherever it went, then it just didn't it didn't move the needle. And yes, I did mug a fair amount after but that was in part to try to get a laugh because the joke was dead, but to get a laugh based on again the preview of the joke.

And, I, think, that, you, did., I, think, that they like it ended up being a fun moment even if the joke itself did not work. And we did want to talk about why the joke didn't work because I had one reason, you had another one. My

several Well,, here's, what, I, would, say, is, the leadup, is, so, the the, setup, is, so, long. You need a quick punchline to once you start that long run. It's just it's long on long and it either has to be short and long short or long short and I think unfortunately the whole thing was too long and then what was your reasoning?

Well,, there, are a, couple, I, thought, of another one while watching it. I think deadly boat strikes hard to set up a whimsical joke based on deadly boat strikes.

Yeah,, a, lot, of, that, this, year, I, would say uh, then, you, also, start, with, Pete, Hexth saying something but then you go into the mind of someone else and I think that's a hard jump to take people on. Yeah.

Was, there, a, third, reason? I, mean,, I'm, sure, there, are, I'm, sure there are many more.

I, Yeah., So,, looking, I, think, that, the biggest and most important reason was the topic. It was just really hard.

Uh,, now, we, had, a, joke, that, did, work, a while ago. I don't know how long ago. It was about a recurring dream Mike Pence has.

And, I,, as, a, point, of, pride,, believe, it is important if you are going to make up a joke dream. You cannot.

And, we, do, quite, a, bit., I, feel, like we, do, the, right, amount., I, would, say, and it is my it is my genuine philosophical belief that if you're going to make up a joke, you cannot do joke tropes. It can't you can't do naked in school. You have to make it

see, this, is, maybe, where, we, are, parting ways. I, believe, it, has, to, be, something, that could genuinely be an unexpected dream. So I believe Mike Pence's dream involved his wife dressed up as Abraham Lincoln while he was trying to get out of a bird cage. And to me

that's, funny., I, like, that. But, so, I, but, I, don't, think, we, landed, on it because you were all fighting me about like what are the eggs? Why are there eggs?

I, was, fighting, specifically, on, the tricycle. That's where I was like Oh,, I, was, fighting, all, of, it., I, just think

Yeah,,, you, were. And, this, was, so, confusing, that, we, needed something to ground it to make people go, "Oh, it's a dream."

Yes., Like, and, then, his, teeth, were falling out. Like I feel like there See,, you, said, that, and, I, was, like,, "No, everyone's teeth fall out."

Yeah., To, be, clear,, we, never, want, a, joke to fail. We pitched dozens of vults.

This, is, our, job., This, is, how, we, have health insurance. We want the show to succeed. We want this to be wildly successful. We're not telling you this just to stop by your dreams.

No., And, I'm, and, I'm, grateful., This, is where this is this is the debate. This is the beautiful Look, we've said this before, but I genuinely think that there is a magic between the three strange aspects of our personality. The kind of like the way that Lazarus chisels a joke like Michelangelo where like she starts at the hand and just generates a perfect hand and then the way you take a bucket of slop and throw it up against the wall and say, "My god, look at that. That looks like a house to me.

Look, at, the, little, strands, of, spaghetti we can pull out of here and eat. Yeah.

And, there's, something, in, that., That's like a That's a a beautiful a beautiful complimentary thing. But sometimes I say I know better

and, then, I, get, in, and, Sarah, gets, a sandwich. So I think it's time now uh, uh, to, bring, in, the, the, ceremonial sandwich of justice.

Here, comes, Kennedy, with, a, sandwich., It's a it's a kind of processional of the sandwich. Wow. Look at this. So I Oh, I hated that. But like I think So here's what we have now. I think what I'm looking at here is a tofu boni. Is that what we're talking about?

That's, right., It's, the, vegan, bomi, from Endoscino Farms. Wow. Oh,, great. Now, I, have, long, been, of, I, believe, that this should happens. I think people should be eating it on camera, but I have been vetoed in that belief. I do that for free.

No., And, I, want, to, be, clear., Nor, should you. So, we'll, all, sit, in, silence., We'll, go, to a closeup and we'll just be here till the sandwich is gone.

Yeah., I'll, put, my, hands, over, my, eyes, in case that makes it easier. All right., If, everyone, at, home, also, puts their hands over their eyes, I'll like a sandwich.

Um, well,, uh, I'm, grateful, to, the, both, of you for your incredible writing.

Thank, you, for, um, hiring, us, to, do, this. The only skill I have, which is writing jokes. So, it's it's just a treat to be able to do that.

And thank, you, for, that., And, for, the sandwich. And, especially, the, sandwich., I, genuinely love our Thursday sprint, which we call a sprint, which is really much more of a marathon at this point, where we where we go through

where, we, go, through, all, the, jokes, and, we try to figure out how to talk about the week's news even when the news is dark to find a way to make it funny and and what I also love most about that is like we talk about not just the math of jokes but the ethics of jokes and like the point we're trying to make and it really is like one of my favorite things I get to do in a show I love making with this incredible team that is in here uh sitting behind you uh how fun we get to make a live comedy show every single week for our jobs. So, thank you both.

You're, welcome., And, I, will, say, while every week I'm like, I don't know if I could do this ever again, I don't know how I would have gotten through this year not being able to write jokes about what is happening. Like I feel like that is the function of the show for so many people both who work on it and the listener that it is like thank God, you know, I mean, thank God we have jokes.

Thank, God, for, jokes. And, one, sandwich, for, jokes. Two, sandwiches, now, at, this, point.

Hell, yeah., Allie,, Sarah,, the, whole, Loly team, thank you. Happy holidays, happy new year, and we will see you in 2026.

Oh, boy. Love it or leave it.

Questions about this episode

What is discussed in "Did Lovett's Pete Hegseth Joke BOMB?"?

In order: 0:00 Bob the Drag Queen, John Marco Sesi, Roy Wood Jr., Stephanie Allen; 10:00 Henry Winkler, Stephanie Allen, Timothy Shalamé; 20:00 Cards Against Humanity, Henry Winkler, League of Conservation Voters; 30:00 South Park, Timothy Shalamé; 40:00 South Park, Byron Allen, Dr. Tori Waxman, Greg Gutfeld; 50:00 Sundays, Aura Frames, South Park; 1:00:00 Stephanie Eileene Lazarus, Larry David; 1:10:00 Endoscino Farms.

What is mentioned in this Lovett or Leave It episode?

22 people, works and ideas are mentioned, including South Park, Sundays, Stephanie Eileene Lazarus, Bob the Drag Queen, Stephanie Allen, Henry Winkler. Each one on this page links to its own page with every episode that mentions it.

How long is "Did Lovett's Pete Hegseth Joke BOMB?"?

The episode runs 1 h 20 min; the transcript is about 15,628 words in 325 timestamped sections.

More from Lovett or Leave It

About this transcript: the episode's spoken words as captioned on YouTube, split into timestamped sections. Reclip.Me locates every person, work and idea in the text, keeps the time it is first named, and quotes the words around it verbatim. Last updated January 24, 2026.